#this gives me a special kind of endorphines | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

popculturebuffet · 2 months

Text

Helluva Boss: Fizzarolli and Ozzie retrospective He, Mammon (Patreon Review for Brotoman.exe)

Happy almost valentine's day you happy people! While i'm deeply alone romantically, like many I can take comfort in the wonderful world of shipping. It's jsut nice to see two character bond or two think about two character sbonding even if one is a clone whose life's ambition is to be batman and the other is a teenager named after edged weapons. Bonus points if you figure it out. Point is i'm not immune to a good romantic endorphin rush, and not opposed when one of my patrons has the same idea, so as part of our buid up to valentine's day, we're taking a look at the most stable couple on one of the most unstable show arounds. One's a clown who sounds like Beetlejuice, the other's a giant rooster god of lust. Somehow they make it work.

I haven't really covered Helluva Boss episode to episode on here less out of neglect and more because I intended to juts review the seasons. And while tha'ts still something I do for shows frequently with so many NEW shows coming out I can do season reviews for and such a tight schedule, not ot mention shows people pay me to do a whole season of, I realized it was a bit unwiedly so was glad to do this when Brotoman suggested the mid season special and I upped it to a full on retrospective.

It's also been a WHILE since I did a character focus retrospective, the last one being Tom from star vs the forces of evil and I intended way more, life just got in the way. I mean I have retrospectives that are only getting done thanks to the kindness of others paying for them, allowing me to put them back on the board easier. So this is an experiment to see if I can do this again and if anyone else is intrested in one of these, drop me a line. Mos tprobably won't be this short, but I do like doing these, seeing how a character evolves... and it's also nice that unlike most i've thoguht of the character in question hasn't been horribly screwed over.

Anyways it is nice to cover helluva boss and opens the door to cover other episodes or clusters of episodes, another thing i'd be more than happy to do on comission or my own damn time. Now the shamless self promotion is over join me under the cut to talk about gay clowns, literal cocks, less gay australian clowns, looking at this, fire, kidnapping fetishes, burgers, viiibratttorrrrsss, sexy fish persons, public humilation and spenting life bent over with someones fis tin their a.

Loo Loo Land

Fizzy's history on the show is a bit weird. The first glimpse we see of our faviorite gay clown isn't ACTUALLY him but his non union robot equilvent. In fact the episode dosen't make it clear FIzz is an actual person and this is a robot of him, Robofizz comes off as a chucky cheese style mascot complete with a horrifying army behind him, with only word of god at the time (I assume as I got into the show around "The Harvest Moon Festival), revealing that Fizz was a real person with a real history with blitzo. Blitzo's hatred of "that fucking clown" seems to be about having to work with robofizz in the past.

That being said this brief apperance nad inevieitble park torching fight with an anamatronic which happens every time Blitzo goes to a theme park, does set up a lot of things about Fizz that are key to his character and apperances: We see his resentment of Blitzo is so great his robots picked it up, that he works at mammon's mascot and that he's famous and succesful enough at Clowning, Blitzo's former dream job, that he has robots of himself. He also, likely not concidentally, first shows up in an episode with Blitzo and Stolas, a trend that would only be broken with MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MID SEASON SPECIAL, and an intentional one.

Loo Loo Land in fact gives us a good intro to Stolas and Blitz's relationship. While their "Transactional fucking" had shown up in the pilot and murder family, with my faviorite gag of the show spotlighting the start of the affair

And the second setting up their monthly fuck fest, this is the first episode that really shows how the two FEEL about the situation: Stolas is clearly infatuated beyond just sex: while he couches everything in how fuckable blitz is, he also makes an excuse to see him by having him bodyguard him and octavia for the day. We also get a sense of just HOW awkward he is, calling him "The only man who can fuck me" to his daughte'rs confusion and grossing both Blitz and Octavia out by greeting blitz with a sensual "Well hello my big dicked blitzy". The resulting one of the fuck is a close second to sorry I fucked your husband, might even top it. It's clear Stolas dosen't JUST want to fuck Blitz, enjoying seeing him on the job, flirting with him.. but it's also clear WHy Blitz is so annoyed with the situation and with said flirting. Stolas can't go two mintues without saying something sexual, which given what we learn about his realtionship makes sense; He dosen't realyl seem to know the diffrence between romantic love and sexual love and thus combines the two. Blitzo spends the episode trying to be professional as he's "not a day hooker"> He's fine with fucking to get what he wants but sees this relationship as nothing more for both of them while it's Clear stolas is , in his own fucked up way, trying to introduce the two. It's just he phrases it with dicks so Blitzo dosen't realize that's what this partly is, and Octavia , SHOCKINGLY wants no part in meeting her fathe'rs lover she's afraid he'll run away with. It's only her running away herself that makes him realize MAYBE inviting his side piece to the park with his daughter while his marriage is falling apart around him and said daughter can see it every day was a bit of an oopsie.

As for Fizz himself he's played by Alex Brightman, best known for playing beetlejuice, who does a fantastic job here, using the beetlejuice voice to great effect. His first song of the series "Loo Loo Land" is great, a cheesy theme park song right out of chuck e cheese or a children's stage show. We also get nice hints at Mammon LONNNNGGG Before we actually met him, and it's nice to know Viv .. really had the sins planned out fully before their debuts. While we don't see him the fact he made a tacky theme park he blantantly stole from Lucifer, gladly let's his attractions steal from the big boss of hell's own daughter by singing a verison of "I have a dream", and the fact the park has no saftey standards, a ton of lawsuits an da mascot that's a pervert undre there. It sets up both how shoddy greed is and how shoddy Mammon's products are way before we actually meet him.

We also get a fun subplot where Richard Steven Horvitz pisses himself off and does a fun goofy voice. Good times. Loo Loo Land is a great episode.. but an okay-ish intro to fizzy. but it was intended to simply TEASE at the man himself as a few episode and a year or two later... we get

OZZIES

OZZIE's is where our boy gets a proper introduction along side his boss, love of his life and best friend Ozzie, aka Osmodeous, the sin of lust.

Ozzy's intro is a big milestone in Hellaverse history as it's the first time we properly met one of the Seven Deadly Sins. It's easy to forget how big a deal this was now we've also met hot lava lamp fox, clown bastard man and depression dad 2: he did your wives, but before this episode was promoted it wasn't a sure thing the sins would even show up in hellva. Our heroes are mostly small time and one of the sins was tied to Hazbin, which at the time had nothing resembling a release date or schedule. So having one be suddenly announced for the season finale was a big suprise.

It's also one of my faviorite thing the franchise is had: While Viv and co go all out for the designwork, the series has some of the best extras in all of animation, the sins naturally get some of the best of the best, each embodying their animal theme while also being gloroius. Ozzie himself gets a great one with tiny heads I forget exist, chest hair (feathers? fuck man I don't know) a glowing neon suit, and a massive tail, with a giant size that shows off just HOW far the gap is in status and power between him and the rest of the cast, and allowing him to dwarf both his boyfriend and unfortunate victim Moxxie. It's also hilarous in hindsight as Bee ,at least in regular mode is normal sized and Lucifer is a short king.

One last personal note on this that has nothing to do with the matter of hand but what the heck: wait for the sins reminds me more of the various gem fusions from steven universe, something exciting as hell every time it comes up but also agonizing fanwork wise while you wait for them to finish the set.

Anyways Ozzie's setup is simple as it is fucked up: Moxxie and Millie are having their one year anniversary. It's weird to think given HOW close they are it's really only been a year. I mean the relationship could be longer. We don't know.

Blitzo naturally wants to be a third wheel, which Moxxie shoots down even harder than usual. Blitzo agrees.. then stalks them to their date anyway. Unfortunately for him it's one of the biggest restraunts/sex clubs in all of hell, probably the biggest and the bouncer is used to guys trying to fuck him to get in. Blitz.. has to call for backup.

This is where Stolas' genuine feelings for blitz really start to come through: previously the show played coy, having just enough hints that he reallyc ared.. but also having him call Blitz thigns like "his little imp', mock his buisness, or hit on him in front of a large crowd. And this was all in one episode. Stolas LIKES Blitz.. but due to his insulated spoiled background and his only relationship having been with one of the worst people in hell or heaven, only topped by a genocidal dude bro, the clown from it's australian cousin, a homophobic controlling abusive mobster, and a rapist. It's easy to see WHY Stolas had no idea HOW to talk to Blitz properly or to actually ask if he wanted the cutsey nickname. He's never HAD to think about how someone feels.

Yet when Blitzo calls for the date.. he lights up. He's happy, overdresses and rushes to go meet him, easily getting them in and is happy to genuinely TRY to get to know him. It just dosen't work as the way he'as acted.. means Blitz dosen't GET that he's trying or that he enjoys this date and just wants to stalk his employees

Karma however bites Blitz hard as he was so focused on stalking.. he forgot who runs this place.. and thus whose EMCEEING THIS PLACE: Fizz.

While this episode was already one of the series best hindsight helps it.. mostly. The show could've been better on following it up as both Moxxie finding out Fizz is at the club and Blitzo telling off stolas only have subtle effects afterwords, and the actual argument ove rit.. is releigated to a tex message fight we see in Western Energy.

The episode DOES however only gain more from later ones when it comes to Fizzy: When we see him on stage it's instantly clear that he's not so famous just because he works for Mammon and that he dosen't have his job because he's fucking the owner: Fitz is genuinely talented, doing fun crowd banter and some acrobatics. It's also clear he genuinely loves working the crowd and people in general. Sure he's about to spend most of the episode mocking someone who just wanted to serenade his wife, but for the most part he actually seems to like bantering with the guests.. except the guy who bought like 4 of his sex robots. Keep that guy away from him.

It also sets up one of the keys to the character: He's a mirror of blitz. It's something I didn't have fully sink in till I watched this video from sarcastic chorus. I originally had the link in there but i've tried ot ease off youtube that way as it instantly becomes the page image for some reason when used in a link.

I don't agree with the guy on everything, but I respect his opinons and this one was so obvious in retrospect I can't belivie I didn't notice. But Fizzy.. is who blitz WANTED to be: a performer, rich, in a circus. He still got the office he wanted as a kid, but it's clear Blitzo's life didn't work out the way he wanted it to: mostly alone with two friends he keeps harassing and a daughter who takes a whole season and a yearlong delay thanks to record company jackassery to tell him she loves him and finally admit he's her dad. He's a deeply lonely person who loves his job but wishes he had more and the one possible relationship he does have is rife with power imbalance issues.

In contrast, Fizzy seemingly has it all: he's famous across all the rings as a performer, has tons of merch in his name, a regular gig at one of the nicest places in hell and a loving boyfriend who supports him and is there for him. The worst he seems to have in this episode is PRETENDING like he and Ozzzy are doing more than fucking, and that's , at least for now, more an image thing. Fizzy has everything Bltiz ever wanted and seeing him only drives that in..a nd makes it clear the second Fizz sees him shit's going to get bad.

Staying low though.. isn't really an option, as Moxxie done goofs up, singing a love song at a sex club. Granted... Fizzy and Ozzie are giant dicks here, singing a long, gorgeous song about how stupid Moxxies being and how he shoudl sing about doing his wife. It's also hilarious in places, with Fizzy pulling out his reading glasses and has two of the series best extras in these two

I like big beformets and I cannot lie. And skinny ones too clearly. No idea how the candle thing works though.

The song.. is fantaI stic, one of the series best, and a big showcase for James Monroe engleheart, who didn't really get to sing as Vortex. The series also wasn't a full musical yet so that didsn't help. But it's clear Viv knew who she had and thus gave him a giant, most of the episode number that steals the damn show and sells just how IMPOSSING ozzie is and how fucked Moxxie is.

Thankfully they change targets as Blitz TRIES to do something heroic and stand up for M and M.. but does so by both revealing he followed them here, and you know... that he watches tehm have sex. Granted MOXXIE already knew that

But it's still a weird thing to admit in public. So Fizz zeroes in on him, as does Veroskia whose been sorely missed this season. But hey ANY cristina vee is good cristina vee. Stolas dosen't get off easy as Ozzie points Stolas out and connects the dots and joyfully sings about he sold his life for a thrust.

It's.. weird going back to this one as in their next appearnce.. these two.. aren't antagonists. Fizz is hostile to Blitzo.. but as we learn he has every reason to be. With them debuting like this, it was easy to assume that they were yet another set of rogues to be added to the gallery, instead of valuable allies. It feels like a delberate bait and switch that MOSTLy works: thier a bit TOO cruel here to completely buy it.. but there's hints at who they are behind closed doors and it DOES make sense contexually: Moxxie did pick a sex club to do his song at instead of ANYWHERE else, simply because it was a big fancy place, so a little mockery is fair, and Fizz zeroing in on blitz is.. entirley in character given he truly hates the guy at this point. Only Ozzie saying what he did about stolas "trading his life for a thrust" feels disgenouious and even then he might simply not know the many complicated factors involved like Stella being awful or how much the divorce affected Octavia. The two know each other and it's clear from Oops stolas can easily book a meeting with the guy, but they aren't really FRIENDS or anything.

Still the two DO get their compuance as Millie wacks Fizz with a guitar. Sure they have to get out, but ... I mean Millie got away with el kabonging the boyfriend of one of the rulers of hell. That's still a hell of an achievement.

We also have the Stolits fallout which is still one of my faviorite scenes of the show. I talked about it in depth in my best episodes of 2021 list, but it's just so heartbreakingly good, even better having rebinged the series recently: you see how it's evolved, how Blitzo has this impression.. and how him laying it out really lays it in for Stolas how badly he fucked up and knowing what we know now, the last shot of Blitzo sobbing after seeing his mom.... it somehow hurts more.

The Circus

Full Confession: I almost forgot to put this one in here. I know, big oversight but it's easy to jump from Ozzies to Oops, which functions as a sequel to the former. The Circus itself is a sequel AND a prequel, both showing Stolas finally divorcing Stella after Ozzies and showing Stolas and Blitzo's pasts including just how we got to "sorry I fucked your husband", an origin story worthy of telling if ever there was one.

And while it is indeed mighty the main thing we're here for is Fizz.. whose in about maybe two, three minutes of the episode tops. But while I nearly glossed over this it is important as we finally see how the two interacted as kids: Fizz was both a star performer AND a surrogate son to Blitzo's dad while Blitzo... simply didn't have it yet. IT's clear from his acrobatic skills and poster in his office he later found his niche with his sister but as a kid he just didn't have the natural talent Fizz did and his morbid humor, referring to the only horse of his that dosen't explode as having lost it's legs from diabettes, simply dosen't fit the setting, while Fizzy, even as a child, is deft as hell at reading the crowd.

While the two are very diffrent.. it's clear BLitz and Fizzy were still super tight and simliar enough to play together. Granted Fizzy wants him to knock off the diabites jokes or he'll punch him, fizzy dosen't mind Blitzo's over the top violence or weirdness. It's clear he was one of the few people who ever understood this guy.. so what happened... wellllll

Oops!

While OZZIE's introduced these two hypocrites, it's Oops! that fleshes them out as people, as the episodes starts with the two when their not putting on a sex show for everyone. Their still horny as shit, I mean one of them IS lust himself, but it's clear while it's fuck o clock a lot at Ozzie's tower, the two have a loving supportive relationship that's just.. downright adorable.

It's shown from the start: Fizz is asleep on Ozzie's chest, wakes up, gets them coffee, and then wakes his lover up with an airhorn, a thing that clearly happens a lot and is a running bit with the two (Don't blame me blame how fucking fun they are) and we see the two help each other get ready for the day: Fizz wakes Ozzie up, prepares his schedule complete with these really fun reading glasses

I'm a sucker for someone wearing glasses that resemble 3d glasses.. or just 3d glasses like that one guy in back to the future

That guy is, without exageration

THE SHIT

It shows that while Fizzie's clearly the weirder flighteter one of the two, he still supports his boyfriend well and in a way that's vital: he's essnetially ozzie's assitant and he apparently has one or two as seen by this lady that walks in on them later.

Fun fact, I think she's really cute. Also fun fact I think her walking in, them doing couple shit and then trying to act like they were just fucking is just something she has to put up with every day. I mean this...

This isn't the look of someone whose COMPLETELY suprised by this, it's more the look of someone whose like "Okay you two keep kidding yourselves just leave me out of it".

Anyways back to the point at hand, Fizz still clearly does a lot for Ozzie and in turn Ozzie makes breakfast, resigned to the fast he just gets. .assigned this job... and to the fact of Fizz tried it again we'd die. I picture Fizz trying to make a pee wee herman style breakfast device and it going terribly. I also figure with Fizz's love of burgers for breakfast he orders burger king a disturbing amount and Ozzie is fine with it.

Anyways it's a sugary sweet scene but said cute freckle imp and /or sucuubus lady lady run in shows the contrast: between who they are in private and the face they put on for the public, that Fizz is just a fuck toy. It also highlights that it's.. unecessary. Their assitant dosen't seem to care and is more weirded out at the half assed show they put on for her. As we establish next episode practically everyone in hell who knew about the two knew it. Their only fooling themselves to keep up apperances. I COULD be wrong and there could be some fallout from them going public, we'll get to that later, but given we've now met Lucifer... I dont' think he'd care much about the sins acting like their sins as long as they get the shit they do done and keep their citizens happy. As long as Ozzy's willy wanka dildo factory is going strong, he dosen't give a shit. Man's got ducks and depression to keep him company. And now his daughter but we don't know where those episodes take place in relation to each other. Did helluva season 2 synch up with Hazbin season 1's 6 month, was it just season 1? Am I insane am I blind I just can't seem to trust so many regulations comin back at ya? viv please clear this up if you haven't already.

Where was I? Oh yes, point is the two really put on a show for a public that mostly dosen't care more than themselves. The only conflict they have is that Fizz wants to go out alone, and while Ozzie wanting to go with him everywhere COULD be a read flag.. Fizz is going to the greed ring which literally has a town called ransom. Like I said, Lucifer dosen't give a shit. OR didn't. Again this timeline is a lot to take in.

Fizz promises to be incognito.. but being both a literal fucking clown and Blitzo's foil... he arrives in a dildo confetti canon limo, with an army of queeves (dog like creatures that can strip someone to bone), this lasted all of 0 seconds.

It's then Fizz runs into an old friend.. yes it's Blitzo o clock as he was just getting coffee and happened to run into his old friend turned enemy he's seen all of once and the two argue for a bit, with Fizz accusing blitzo of stalking him, Blitzo pointing out how shitty a stalker that'd make him and then calling Fizz a purse dog, the only thing tha tgeninely pisses him off.

Just to prove this opening set piece runs on conicdence, just outside we run into two old foes; Crimson, moxxie's homophobic mafia don father and Striker, our faviorite cowboy imp suprimacist jackass. I like this use of both: Striker had already had his rematch with the m's and is still a personal enough foe to Blitzo, fucking with his bread and butter and all, to work solo, while Crim.. is a mafia don. Of course he has more things to do than plot revenge against his son.

It also underlines something about the show that was easy to forget in season 1: the villians.. aren't arc based for the most part. Striker and Stella are exceptions but most are introduced to likely have an episode later. Granted they could follow up on these characters faster, but I get that guys like the CHERUBS, DHORKS and crim himself, while likely having an end point at some point, are more threats to bring back later than a recurring backbone of the series. So bringing crim in for a normal day of buisness for him works. He's the crime boss of the greed ring, why woudln't he be doing crime boss things when not plotting his son's death.

In this instance it' sa job interview: Striker, presumibly fuming at how Stella alterted the deal and thus fucked up his chance to kill a royal, has decided to change bosses to someone more his speed. Crim wants a demonstration.. and our heroes happen to be outside arguing so he lassoes them in. Fizzy is now a hostage and Blitzo is a co-hostage simply because Striker assumes their friends

The upside of this kidnapping is it gives the two a chance to hash things out.. which naturally STARTS tense, as it tends to do when the last time you've spoken in 20 years involved public humilation and not the fun kind.

So naturally Blitzo tears into fizz, assuming OZzie dosen't care the relationship won't work etc etc, really just projecting every insecurity he has about him and stolas onto them, not able to accept a royal and an imp having an actual relationship. .because it'd force him to consider it actually possible and that the heartfelt texts, check ins and other stuff Stolas has been sending him since , presumibly Western energy (since their text history seems to only go back to the day after ozzies), and Stolas' genuine attempts to respect Blitz's space since, not flirting with him nearly as agressively and using his actual name. It's clear to everyone BUT Blitzo Stolas is putting in an actual effort, learned from his mistakes, and is trying... and the reason it isn't is that BLitzo KNOWS he is, can tell now on some level he wants more.. but his deep inscurties, the mess he's made of his previous relationships and his DEEP self loathing from events we're about to get into and others we likely aren't privy to yet make that hard. It's hard to accept that someone LOVES him and dosen't just want to fuck him and it's harder to accept this just.. might work.

Granted Blitzo gets that hammered in as Striker agrees with his denails because Striker is a suprmacist prick. He really was the perfect antagonist here: while crimson provides nice backing being the reason Striker did this plan and the resources to be an actaul threat and put forth a ransom demand, Striker does the heavy lifting, clearly hating both imps for being race traitors in his eyes and wanting both dead, NEARLY killing fizz simply for pissing him off.

Speaking of Ransom

This brings us to our b plot: Stolas , proving Blitz wrong with some dramatic irony, is having lunch with Ozy, wanting his help. We also get some more shading as Ozy rejects the idea of a love potion out right: he likes consent as much as he likes clown penis. Stolas however isn't a monster, and instead wants to give Blitzo a choice: he wants as asmodeon crystal, what the succubi use to travel since, for reasons we're not privy to yet, Ozy's one of the only ones allowed easy surface travel. Ozy rejects it: he WANTS to help but Fizz hates Blitzo for reasons he hasn't told his partner, and Ozy respects that, though he DOES sympathize.

Luckily for Ozy though stolas is there as Crimson springs his ransom plan.. which in hindsight is just... it...

Okay so Ransoming Fizzy.. ISN'T the dumb part. While it is fucking risky to ransom the lover of one of the 7 most powerful people in hell, we seen soon after Ozzy REALLY dosen't think clearly when Fizzy is in danger, and had Stolas not been there, he would've gladly blindly signed papers giving Crimson all his shit and allowing Crimson to kill fizzy.

The problem.. is Crimson is so damn smug he has no plan B, to a point i'm starting to think he's a fucking moron whose only been a threat because he has a LOT of resources and in his first apperance, still has an abusive hold on Moxxie. He shows his face, and while he dosen't say his name... not only am I sure one of the big bosses of hell itself can search for him by face.. CRIMSON PUTS HIS NAME ON THE CONTRACTS. This makes sense from a "I need to get his stuff" perspective, but not a "what happens if I somehow loose the clown" perspective. This isn't derailment as Crimson was just as short sighted with his last plan that assumed A) A notrious fuck up whose only assets are being hilarous and having a big dick wasn't lying to his face B) His son who ran away from him would do what he said and C) that the people he KNOWS are professional killers won't rescue moxxie in a pinch and will just die to his sloppy hitmen whose record so far in universe is 0 and 3 in actually killing anyone. 0 and 4 if the ones after Mimzy work for him, which they probably do, let's say 4 L's at this point. It works as Crim is mostly a threat due to his resources, and his vengeful impulsive personality both fits a mob boss, and makes him a good foil for his son/arch enemy: Moxxie overplans to the point of panic attacks, while Crimson underplans to the point his usually fall apart, not helped by him not understanding most people.

I'd also like to highlihgt one line I took at face value first two times around: Crimson calling Ozzie the "weakest of the sins". While it is possible Oz is the weakest... I forgot that hte person saying it is an overconfident jackass whose TRYING to underplay how powerful his opponent is. OF course he'd call Ozzie weak. Honestly, especially given the climax of our next episode, i don't think any power gaps within the sins are that huge until otherwise shown or stated: most of them are in the same boat of being so powerful in hell almost nothing else can really touch them: the only things above their league are Charlie, whose easily the nicest person in all of hell and won't fight unless pushed and this guy

Who likewise probably won't pummel you into the ground unless you piss him off bad, and the sins have known Lucifer long enough to know not to do that. I mean Mammon has plagerized him a lot and is still breathing. So while I do think Lucifer is a large reason for the stalemate, I also don't think he's naive enoguh to think the sins wouldn't start shit with one another subtly if they weren't just close enough in power to not backstab each other. They can posture, but a full on war would bring down the angelic fists of cuckining and no one wants that.

Thankfully for Ozzie though Stolas loves reading and is willing ot be his bird lawyer. Hoot hoot.

Thankfully for both of them though, Blitzo is plenty capable and while he makes a flashy dick of himself as usual, he DOES help fizz escape.

Eventually, as the two are dodging bullets, they can't dodge the issue and Fizzy finally explodes, revealing to the audience exactly WHY he hates blitzo and why they aren't friends these days.

So we get.. the fire. We find out on Fizz's birthday years ago Blitzo was going to confess, got upset seeing everyone else fawn over him and accidently set the place on fire and from Fizz's perspective ran the fuck away. As it turns out the white on Blitz's face, in a pretty stunning reveal honestly isn't some cool extra mark.. their burn scars, and the reason Fizzy is white faced.. is because he got it BAD. The cyborg arms weren't piece by piece replacing himself for fun and profit.. their necessary prosthetics. Fizzy lost everything he had that day: his home, his family, everything... and as BLitz tearfully reveals so did he as it's HEAVILY implied he ran to go save his mom.. and din't fail. I'd assume Blitz's dad died too but face it we're not that lucky.

This.. puts a lot into persective for Blitzo as a character and is part of why this episode is so great: We see WHY he hates himself so mucH: he lost his mom to an accident, lost his best friend who he was TRYING to confess to and his sister who blame him for it and .. well he' sprobably not lucky enough to loose his dad. Though when Cash DOES finally kick off hopefully loona will lift her dad up so he can dance on his casket. He los teverything and can't feel he deserves love as a result, while still DESPERATELY wanting it as seen with his constant stalking of m and m or how he treats Loona. The sad part is he dosen't even have to go that far: while they don't want to fuck him the m's do like and respect him and Loona does love him, she just had he rown issues to adress.

The good news about this trauma.. is it finally get the two over their trauma and to start reconcling. Before they can though they need a distractoin so we get look at this, a hilarious number that Fizz apparently used to sing to distract Blitzo's dad to so Blitz can steal booze and is here a flimsy escalating number as Fizz tries to distract. I also like how Fizz.. isn't a combatant. He's a performer and didn't have to learn to fight and has had the protection of two diffrent sins.. granted Mammon's "protection' isn't exactly healthy but more on that in a moment.

The two escape and collapse the warehouse crimson was using on him.. but Striker is still after them at this point just wanting pure vengance. I also love how not only does his "break you like a horse threat fail" predictbly on Blitzo but Fizz's suprised "your still on the horse thing?" There's just so much good banter between the two this episode, brightman and rogers have great chemistry.

While Fizz gets a new kink and Striker finally reaches his limit of his foes kinks, Blitzo saves fizz then saves him from fire this time, finally reconcling the two. Of course this being Blitzo he has to fuck it up by asking if they can make out but it's a start.

It's also a nice possible turning point for the series: i'ts early to call if this is just a one time thing or if Blitz will get the chance to do this more.. but it's the first time Blitz has been confronted with someone from his past.. and it hasn't blown up in his face. With Verosika he clearly hates her as much as she hates him and her smug attitude and treatment of Moxxie just cemented it, and with Barbie she didn't WANT to forgive him. With Fizz.. he WNATED to at least try again, the two just never had the chance. Someone kept Blitz from speaking to him. And now it's finished.. the two are buddies again. Blitzo HAS an honest to god friend whose also not working for him and who, one attempt aside, he isn't trying to bang and Fizzy has someone besides his partner to go to. They needed each other.. and now they have each other.

Wrapping up the rest Fizz returns, and Stolas leaves now his part in things (getting a better deal on the ransom Ozzie now dosen't have to pay), is done leaves Fizzy to get fucked.. after he and ozzie kill the lawyer who stupidly thinks he can run after this. The ending, like the start is a genuinely sweet moment from the two and shows off a neat other side to Ozzie: he's a mechanical genius, having designed the arms (Or at least the model Fizzy uses now) nad is th eone who repairs them for his lover any time they get hurt. While granted Ozzy also wants Fizzy to never leave again, Fizzy's fine with that given teh whole kidnapping and just as fine to share some kinks.. and to let Blitz have his crystal. He's more than earned it. A sweet ending to one of teh shows best.. an da good lead into our closing act tonight

MAMMONS MAGINFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL

So we've come ot the episode that clinched this idea for me and brotoman, one of the series best and at the time of this writing the latest episode. Will I do anothe rone of these in a year or two or follow up on other fizz episodes? Probably. But for now this is our grand finale and it delivers. While Helluva Boss slowly became a musical over it's run, likely inspired by viv doing the same to it's sister series, this is the episode that leans the heaviest into it: 4 songs, all bangers, and one big story.

It's also the shows' first stab at an episode focused on the series side cast. This reminds me most of the simpsons: While they aren't the only one to do this, Simpsons is famous for having a war chest of spotlight episodes focusing on the other characters. The simpsons are still involved but how much can range from Lisa's Date with Density, where Nelson is a main feature but Lisa is just as important, to A fish Called Selma, which focuses entirely on Selma and Troy McClure who you may remember from such episodes as Selma's choice, Lisa the vegetarian and Bart's Friend Falls in Love.

This one reminds me of the latter: Blitz is involved and is plot important, but he's not the focus. The episode's entirely on fizz and it's a larger gamble than you'd think: Fans love fizz and Alex Brightman gives a remakrable performance and showed last ep he more than had the range with this character to carry an episode, this both the second episode with only Blitzo in it out of IMP in a row, and in a season that, while I love it, does have it's pacing issues. So throwing down an episode about a popular side character was a risk.. but it's one that paid off gloriously. Clearly fans were hear for it as even people who don't like this season love this episode and i'm hoping it means Fizz will only show up more as we go.

So for the episode itself we start with a flashback

Fizz and Blitz are going to see teachers and it's here we get one of the best villians in the franchise so far and certainly one of the most hilaroius, MAMMON.

Mammon is our third sin and voiced by Smiling Friends and YOLO creator Micheal Cusak, a casting choice I didn't see coming, but is perfect. Not only does it help ease the gap till Smiling Friends and/or YOLO return, but his loud , boisterous australian style perfectly fits the loud, obnoxious mammon, with just enough subtely. He's like Krusty the Klown if he got the bad ending.

Mammon's intro is brilliant spending his time constantly spewing profanity, shilling to a crowd that spent every dime to get here, and promoting his next big thing: an annual clown pagent. It's like one of those fucked up beauty contests for kids but it's with clowns so IT'S BETTER. We also get a fuckton of great jokes from him taking a whole second to wlak back saying he'll exploit the winner, to saying women aren't funny as Viv's writing credit comes up, to my faviorite saying the winner will be like the son he's never had and Mammon will be like the stepdad who only loves you when it's convienent.

Mammon is also a departure as he's the first of the sins, and so far the only one of four, to be just.. straight up evil. All of them are mildly sketchy with Ozzy being a dick in public, Bee shoving cake in people's mouths and having a shitty adoptions system and Lucifer being incredibly neglectful until five minutes ago.. but all are at their cores decent people: Ozzy prioritzes consent and is a loving, caring supportive partner, Bee is both also a good partner and is a kind, vivacious person that dosen't want her patrons endulging just to hide their pain, is genuinely impressed to be drunk under the table, and her response to someone having a clear defenseive crush on her boyfriend.. is to borderline invite her to join, while my boy Lucifer had his dreams snapped in half and when called out on being a cyncial asshole, reveals PART of why he wasn't supportive of his kid was a worry the angels would fuck her up the same way they fucked him up, and when shown just HOW important her dreams are, backs her 100%, showing mercy to an enemy who dosen't deserve it when she asks, swooping in to save the day (if late for reasons i'm sure we'll learn later), and helping her get her spirit back up after a terrible loss. Each embodies their sin but they do so responsibly: Ozzy values consent, Bee values not using it as coping, and Lucifer is egotistical, but also uses that ego to help others and to help his daughter be proud of herself and what she's acomplished after she can't see it.

In contrast Mammon is every nasty thing about greed there is: he's selfish beyond all measure, wanting only what makes him money, cares nothing about the consequences, and will gladly exploit anyone who can make him money, throw htem out of they don't, and keep milking them dry till he's gotten every last dollar even if it kills them. He cares not one iota of a shit for the consequences of his actions as long as he gets paid. It's telling that while Lust is simply a red light district and sex toy making (and presumibly selling) mecca, Gluttony is a nicely apointed sky, and Pride is a luxiruous, if crime ridden, city... Greed is an industrial hell hole where toxic waste runs rampant and the crime seen in Pentagram City is dialed up to ungodly levels. Ozzie is neglectful like Lucifer.. but dosen't have Lucifer's excuse for it or eventaul comeback. He just dosen't care and never will.

The show, which we don't see in full end sup disapointing blitz, who isnt happy he spent his life savings to watch his idol vomit on stage and bury them in clowns, but Fizz BADLY wants that prize depsite Blitz's assurance he dosen't need it. We also meet Arick

Arick is an obessive stalker and it's very clear both from design and just how he's portrayed.. Viv's drawing from personal experince: Arrick comes up to fizz, gushes about how much he loves his work.. then talks about how they coudl work together ina very posseive and creepy way, how it could be bette rif he was involved and making Fizz very uncomfortable till Blitz tells him to fuck off.. and even then that dosne't completely stop him as he begs Fizzy to not make him go then turns on him when he understandably rejects the creepy guy whose been stalking him. Arrick's opinon shoudln't matter.. but dispaointing ANYONE clearly affects Fizz, something I can relate to: that drive to, even if someone's treating you like shit, make them care about you and want to make everyone love you. When... really not everyone's going to like you let alone love you and accepting that is healthy.

So we cut to a ways after with Mammon promoting robo Fizzy and how "YOU CAN FUCK HIM", and how Fizz got what he wanted.. but is clearly DEEPLY uncomfortable with semi sentient robot duplicates of himself creepy people can fuck.

So we finally get to the present: It's the clown pagent again and Fizz wins every year. It's also something Ozzy REALLY dosen't want him to do, as not only is it not necessary given his win streak and the amount of money he has.. but it's not healthy. in one of my faviorite lines all show Ozzy makes it clear he's known mammon a LONG time, since hell started, and knows just what a manipulative talentless prick he is, and he's somehow gotten worse , making nothing and explotiing others for money. "He can eat my ass. In a bad way. " It's clear from how much fizzy is stressing about a possible blemish and his weight that Ozzie is right.. but he also can't convince his boyfriend out of this. Fizzy NEEDS to do this.

So Ozzy calls for backup: since he both can't be there for publicty and since Fizzy only apparently has one friend, he calls Blitzo, whose milling around on a saturday afternoon, presumably watching reruns of "Yeah I Fucked Your Sister So What?". I love Blitz's reaction to ozzi'es call too calling him " your sin— Sinness? Sinfulness? Sin— [stammering] Ya royal, big man?" but still being casual. He's still Blitz, not bowing to standards.. but is still respectful, both knowing the gap between the two is wide.. and that Ozzie clearly deserves it as he clearly makes Fizz happy.

And being a good partner Ozzie is calling Fizz entirely because he CAN'T help Fizz with this: the pagent's bad for him, mammon is REALLY bad for him, but Fizz has also clearly heard this song and dance so many times it's become white noise to his crippling nisecurites, even with Ozzie correctly figuring out his partner hates the sex robots and the creepier fans they give. So Fitz needs someone to both protect him, and to get in his ear so he can get the strength to end this himself.

We also get a really nice touch as both previous times Blitzo's been asked to be a bodyguard, he was pissed, only accepting when Stoals offered to pay him monnneeeey and rejecting a possible repeat "it was a one time thing we did poorly". Here.. he agrees without a remote fight and while it could be because Ozzie simply won't take his shit like Stolas would it comes off more like he wants to: even if it's not on brand.. his friend needs him and when a friend's boyfriend asks for help you help him.

At the pagent Ozzie prepares to clear out, though Fizz pretty much sees through it, not calling ozzie out but finding it very weird he suddenly hired his best friend for security calling it "a little sus babe". It's also a nice moment as i'ts clear Fizz is annoyed at the transparent attempt to put someone they both trust on Fizz's shoulder for a situation Ozzie hates... but also gets on some level his boyfriend is just looking out for him and that Blitz being here isn't inherently harmful.

What is is Mammon who right away questions fizzy's weight while needling him with doubts he could win, hoping he does "You won't let me down right". And this part.. shows range with Cusak I didn't know he had. Don't get me wrong he's brilliant in both Smiling Friends and Yolo... but usually when he's creepy there it's loud and acomplanied with nightmarish animation. Here he takes a character whose loud as hell.. and has him get quiet and manipulative. Just the tone he takes SOUNDS concerned.. but you can just feel the manipulation coming off it, something anyone who isn't his victim could see... but easily works on Fizz. It's something tons of performers have gone through and heartbreakingly so, and something that's just.. chillingly realistic. It's one of the creepeist moment sin the franchise.. just how CASUAL mammon is with ita nd how much he's clearly done it.

Blitzo is here this time and not only stops the fucker but calls him out. This is another nice subtle thing I didn't notice my first few times watching this one but sunk in on binge watching the series through again: Blitzo.. has met all three sins introduced on this show thus far, and thus we get a nice range of his reactoins: with Bee he treats her like anyone else, which fits as she treats everyone equally and is fairly down to earth and observant, if still just insulated enough to miss some cues here and there. With Ozzie he's also casual, but more respectful, trying to give him a title and being honest with him. He respects Ozzie enough for titles, but is still himself with the guy as he clearly has learned to trust the royal big man, or at least trust what he and fizz has is 100% real.

With Mammon... he's confrontational.. but only because he DOSEN'T respect him: Mammon could end his ass righ tthen and there.. and he dosen't give a fuck. he's a terrible performer, an abusive prick and deep down blitzo knows he's not stupid enough to threaten what image he has left by killing someone in a large crowd.. I mean I asssume every sin has done this, but doing so because some guy talked shit about you to protect his friend isn't great optics.

We then meet the twins, Glitz and Glam played by Faye Mata of Miraculous Ladybug Fame. Yes those of you who have also suffered through that monolith of a show, WE GOT ANOTHER ONE. Sinners rejoice. The two are catty, insulting fizzy right away and not even getting laong too well, your standard contest episode heels. Also credit to the episode it's easy to tell them apart both by personality and appearnce; Glitiz is the manic one with mask like fins ove rher eyes, and glam is the more reserved one next to her. Naturally Blitz wants Fizzy to "piledrive those sluts" on principal now.

We get our first song next, Juggling iz Cool, by a guest performer near and dear to my heart, Austrlian singer, Tik Tokker/ youtuber (I use the latter, the former I mostly avoid), and mustache man Tom Cardy, a comedy singer with a great libary form songs that use "Human centpede: as a chorus , to painting ladies to toally not avoid sex, to planet metaphors to help you discover your self worth, to one of my faviorites Jurassic Park 10: it's dino time, where Tom accurately sums up the jurassic park movies while sick and possibly high on cough medicine, then creates his own ones giving us the now iconic line "I should not have given my robot dinosaur a penis, because like anything with a penis it's going to want to use its penis" said as if he's mildly drunk on cough syrup. His music is impeciable as his song topics can be utterly insane. Give him a listen.

Juggling is cool is a nicely tense tune showing just how much pressure fizz is on as Tom narates the contest, nicely conveying the tension the poor guy is feeling as the Twins easily equal him. What i laso like is that while the twins are jerks... their GENUINELY good. They have talent, even setting themselves on fire, and easily equal Fizz and despite their arguments pre show are perfectly in sink.

It also works because ultimately the contest.. dosen't matter. Fizz WANTS to win and we want him to win.. but th ereal conflict isn't "will fizz win or not" but... "SHOULD he keep doing this or not". He's got a supportive boyfriend who will support him emotinally and finacially, he's got enough fame to do whatever the fuck he wants next. Fizz attributes everything he has to Mammon.. but Mammon was simply the right opportunist in the right time. The talent's all Fizzy.. the explotation's all mammon. Even when Fizzy wants something resonable as a break instea dof doing a singing, Mammon guitls him into it.

Granted.. Fizzy IS really good at interacting with his fans and it's clear while assholes like Arick plauge viv regularly, as they do any celebreity sadly, this scene gives us the impression there's been plenty of GOOD fan reactions to counter act that, as Fizzy eagerly plays the crowd and we get one of the standout scenes of the episode when he talks asl with a young fan. It's a nice little bit that shows while a lot of his fandom are exausting.. Fizzy GENUINELY loves his fans and to interact with them. His love of performing is there: we saw it at ozzies. He loves playing a crowd. It's just exausting when parts of those crowd don't see you as a human being.

Speaking of which Arrick returns, calling out fizzie.. .and a creepy fantasy of Fizzy on a leash in a gimp suit makes it clear just what his "love" means. Nothing wrong with bondage, after all..

But it's clear Viv likes using leashes as a symbol of toxic relationships, seen by the chain leash that can be summoned by contracts in hazbin, the chains blitzo saw in his halluciintion in truth seeker and this one here.

Arick isn't as lucky this time as Blitz is now less a teenage dirtbag baby and instead an experinced assasian not affraid to blow his head up in front of a bunch of children. Arick backs off.. for now but it's clear the encounter rattled poor Fizzy and rather than show actual sympathy Mammon once again fakes it.. but glares to make it clear he expects him to perform.

He does "agree" to put the twins on first but it's once again a manipulation tactic. It's what makes mammon so unsettling here: every move to fizz is just another form of gaslighting and you can see the strings... but Fizzy either can't.. or has simply internalized them.

So with this we get Klown Bitch, a true banger of a song, performed by Allison Kaplan subbing in for Glam and Faye Mata still rocking glitz. THe result is a sexy, well done pop number that sums up the duo, their using sex to sell things, and their talent as the harmonies are just delcious. The lighting is also aweosme, being blue, shifting to a purple for Glitz' rapid fire rap solo, and highlithing the two, while mimicing biolumensince. And i'll admit some bias: I like fish women and I like siren songs. But i'm not SO horny that I can't see great production value, killer singing, and god tier animation for what it is, and what it is is excellent. This is easily one of the best looking bits of the series so far.. and only isn't best... because of what's to come.

So naturally a number this good leaves Fizzy having a nervous breakdown since mammon's too busy on his throne to gaslight him out of it this time. Blitz has done what he can, planting the seeds of doubt that Fizzy REALLY needs mammon, even if he's trying not to listen... but ultimately he's simply not who his best friend needs nor the guy to give a heartfelt pep talk. I mean I think he has it in him but it'd take a lot to get him there and Fizzy dosen't have tha tkind of time.

So instead Blitzo summons Ozzie, who despite not being in the crowd.. INSTANTLY teleports to his lovers side. No risk of their relationship being revealed for what it is is worth Fizzy's pain.

Ozzy is FINALLY able to draw out why Fizzaroli is having a panic attack.. he's worried he's not good enough. The pagent is an annual reinforcment that he deserves everything he has and the poor clown feels if he looses it he'll loose it all: that if he can't PROVE he's talented, prove he's the best, prove himself he'll loose Ozzie. Despite having come far, gotten everything Blitzo wanted.. he still has every bit the self loathing his bestie does, just channeled diffrentlY: Blitzo channels his into self destructive bullshit, pushing people away before he assumes he'll loose them, while Fizz goes the opposite route: instead of pushing what he loves away, he works himself to near death to keep something he was never going to loose. Both are deeply unhealthy, ones just easier to see. It's why Ozzie hasn't been able to get through to him: Fizz wasn't honest with the real reason.. or his body dismorphia, utterly hating his burned broken horns underneath his neat hat.

Thankfully Ozzie finds a way around this by both pointing out WHY he loves him.. and exactly what he finally needed to hear.

"Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit. You already were this. You'd be this no matter what! You are the most inspiring demon I have ever known, and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I adore your inventiveness, your attitude, your resilience. Aaaaand you're just the cutest little thing alive. *nuzzles Fizz's cheek* Also, you are a waaaay better performer than Mammon ever was, and thaaat's just facts."

It's what Fizz needed and what those of us with a lot of sel floathing need; someone telling you ou don't suck, you've earned what you got, and your a good person.

To hammer this in we get our penultimate number, crooked.

Crooked is a song that has reallyg rown on me since last time I saw it. It's a fantastic song, but it's sandwitched between "two minutes of watery fanservice" and "a glorious triumphant fuck you to someone who defintely deserve it", It's a great song, but it's sandwitched between two other great songs that have a slightly memorable presentation.

Crooked by contrast is a simple r n b love ballad.. but damn if it isn't adorable. James Monroe Engleheart once again gets to flex his voice but this time instead of a grandose display of lust, it's a tender display of love. It's a beautiful song where Ozzie gently shoots down Fizzy's self doubt pointing out he's not wasting his time, he's got nothing but it, and that there's so much in Fizzy he can't see. I'ts sweet and the oh oh oh's are just.. such a godo touch, being both sexual and romantic and just perfect.

Naturally after this tender display, we get.. Arrick who bursts in with a knife

Thankfully Blitz blows his head off SECONDS after he enters and clearly heard the whole thing, congradulating the two on being fucking hyocprites, someting warrnated, welle arned.. but also clearly in good nature: he won't hestiate to needle them about how many airs they put on about just beign sexual.. but he gets they need each other.

So with this we transition directly into our final number. I wans't kidding abotu the sadnwtiched things. There isn't all that much between Crooked and two minutes notice.

So .. there's no easy way to say this.. Two Minutes NOtice.. is the best sequence in the series so far. It's gorgeously animated, packed with tiny details, beautifully caps off the episodes themes, and has the series best song by far. And both as the best sequence in the show and the best musical number it has a LOT of competittion that it just.. blows out of the water.

There's just so much expressivness in Fizzy's movement, so many fluid and fun moves, even the little things like how he lights a match on his own arms to spell out fuck you in the sky or his big smile while doing his acrobatics during the first chorus. It's a joyous celebration that shows just how.. LIBERATING this fuck you is to Fizz, after years of eeling like he needs mammon.. he now knows what and thus spends two minutes+ telling him to eat shit.

What also sells it is story wise.. it's a fucking perfect parallel to the oepning: mammon gave his hordes of fans a half assed show promoting other shit he was doing and apparently vomiting on stage. Fizzy, fresh off both a panic attack AND a stalker barging in and seeing said stalkers brains go out, without any time to really prepare, IMPROVISES a routine that' sincredibly acrobatic, has tons of extra stunts packed in he does effortlessly from the fire writing to the now iconic riding on the ball bit to slapping his own ass (And Ozzie hiding his erection is just.. pricless. And somehow adorable. Never has hiding your boner been this sweet), all with a charm and charismA. We'd seen enough of Fizzy to know he's a talented performer.. but this shows EVERYTHING he has laid on the table to give his fans one final farewell for now. He could've half assed it or even jus topened with quitting.. but he cared enough to put on one hell of a show to end this chapter in his career. The love of his fans was clear before, but little bits like him going into the crod to interact iwth them or telling the deaf fan from earlier thank you... it's very clear this man didn't want to let them down. He's not doing the show for Mammon.. he's doing it for them and he's doing it for himself.

The song is also just great, a fantastic beat, Sam haft outddid himself, and Brightman's vocals at their absolute best. The show's going to hav ea HARD time topping this and it's okay if it dosen't.

So Mammon.. didn't really get the point till Fizzy, post song, thanks all his fans before quitting. And once he does. .he's fucking furious, angrily shouting at Fizzy, dropping the illusion of kindness and jus straigh tup lapsing into abuse. And Fizzy.. just flips him off. Mammon lost his power over him the second he stopped letting him have it. It's telling who has the real power in this conversation when MAMMON resorts to his full form, a giant spide rmonster form it and scremaing at Fizzy with the voice of the legion. It's genuinely terrifying and Micheal Cusak does a great job making this throughly silly monster into a regular one once again.

Unfortuantely for him.. it's just.. not working. Fizzy has zero fear of Mammon. evne if he kills him.. all Mammon has done is insure no one is going to want to actually work for him unless their really that desperate. I mean there are people that desperate but it's still a pretty big gamble.

Thankfully before Mammon can shout some more or do some spider shit, Ozzy steps in, having already been ready to the moment Mammon made the mistkae of going full spider.. and naturally Ozzie has the cooler form, his normal form but with a crimson middle head and his two other heads now fully manifested. How he does it is also awesome, standing behind fizz like h'es his fucking stand, fully bared.

Mammon.. isn't thereanted, planning to use the old chesnut that's hung over the two since the start; revelaing thir relationship. Problem is, and in a nice subtle arc.. it's clear the dyas events have finally hamered it in for Ozzie that who knows about thema nd who dosen't.. dosen't fucking matter. He loves Fizzy, Fizzy loves him, and he's finally ready to shout it, with Fizzy being genuinelys hcoked when Ozz says he dosen't care.. and even more when eh reveals it to a crowd

"What that I lvoe him, well I do"

And the crowd.. goes apeshit for it, complete with the hilarous guy with a three phone duel disk and Mammons' response is a hilarously subdued "oi, ya dirty bitch". He tells Ozzie he'll regret this, and he probably has some evil shit planned... but for now Mammon.. ha slost. Fizzy has his freedom, he and Ozzie can be pub lic damn the consequences. It's the perfect capper to a perfect episode.

For now the members of the crowd mammon didn't kill are happy, our heroes are happy.. and Blitz wants to know who tops.

So yeah.. I love this episode... adn it made me truly love this character, it's gorgeously done and damn i't sgood.

Overally Fizz... has a strong arc, one built with small hints at first but then hitting full tilt with what's essentially a two parter. I was happy to cover him and i'll be happy to cover this unvierse again any time. Thanks for reading and happy almost valnetine's day.

#helluva boss #vivziepop #fizzaroli #ozzie #fizz x ozzie #mammon #blitzo #stolas #stolitz #moxxie #millie

7 notes · View notes

a-motherfucking-beast · 4 months

Note

coach ur so cool but i hate exercising :(

SON. LET ME TELL YOU. THERE IS A CERTAIN THING ALL THE LANKY BINOS IN THEIR HAUGHTY-TAUGHTY UNIVERSITIES AGREE ON. AND THAT'S THAT THERE ARE *SOME* THINGS THAT ARE ESSENTIAL TO BEING A HUMAN. ART -- MUSIC, DANCE, VISUAL MEDIUMS. FRIENDSHIP, BROTHERHOOD. JOY AND SORROW. SHARING OF KNOWLEDGE. FAITH. LOVE. FOR SOMEONE ELSE, FOR THIS WORLD, FOR YOURSELF.

AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. FUCK YEAH

BE IT PLAYING TIGGY IN THE SCHOOLYARD OR BEING A PROFESSIONAL LINEBACKER PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE PLAYS A SPORT OR EVEN JUST WALKS SOMEWHERE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE. FOR GOOD REASON -- EXERCISE RELEASES ENDORPHINS AND DOPAMINE AND OTHER FEEL-GOOD SHIT IN YOUR BRAIN, BALLFACE, AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THE OTHER BENEFITS OF STAYING HEALTHY AND BEING ABSOLUTELY YOKED AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY THAT SHOULD PROBABLY CONVINCE YOU TO TRY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

SON, I'M NOT GOING TO CONVINCE YOU TO TAKE UP BODYBUILDING OR ANY OTHER HEFTY COMMITMENT LIKE THAT. THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC BUT EVEN I CAN RECOGNISE THAT IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE. I CAN ONLY OFFER THIS ADVICE.

IF YOU HATE EXERCISING THEN THERE ARE ONLY SEVERAL (AT LEAST ONE) POSSIBILITIES WHY YOU DO.

A) YOU HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT OUTLET. TRY OUT A NEW SPORT YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED BEFORE THAT YOU CAN PLAY AT YOUR LOCAL GYM. HARRY WAS THE FUCKING GOAT AT BEING A GYM TEACHER BUT NOT EVERY GYM TEACHER IS AS FANTASTIC AS HE WAS AND MAY NOT FACILITATE THE FULL EXPERIENCE OF PLAYING A SPORT SO MAYBE EVEN TRY PLAYING SOMETHING YOU THINK YOU DON'T LIKE. HELL, MAYBE TRY SOMETHING LIKE ACROBATIC ARTS, THAT SHIT NEEDS STRENGTH AS WELL. FUCKING BREAKDANCING. BECOME AN ANAL ACROBAT LMFAO. HELL, YOU DON'T NEED SOMETHING STRENUOUS -- EVEN IF YOU GO FOR A WALK IN YOUR LOCAL PARK EVERY MORNING WHEN THE SUN'S JUST RISING (THE VIEW AROUND THE LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF JAMROCK IS BEAUTIFUL) OR DO SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU WAKE UP THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING. DON'T LET ANYONE PUT YOU DOWN FOR DOING LESS THAN THEM.

B) YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT PEOPLE SUPPORTING YOU. AGAIN, YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD'VE HAD OUR HARRY AS YOUR TEACHER AND REFEREE, BUT IT ALSO COMES DOWN TO YOUR TEAMMATES, WHETHER THEY FACILITATE YOUR PRESENCE AND BUILD A SENSE OF CAMARADERIE WITH YOU. YOUR SPOTTER, WHO YOU PLACE ULTIMATE TRUST IN. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, THE PEOPLE YOU HOLD CLOSEST WHO YOU CAN SHARE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS WITH. OR EVEN JUST THE PERSON DOING THEIR OWN THING NEXT TO YOU WHO MIGHT GIVE YOU A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT OR CONGRATULATE YOU WHEN YOU HIT A NEW PERSONAL RECORD. GOING TO A GYM CAN HELP WITH THIS WHEN YOU ALL HAVE A SHARED GOAL, BUT THERE'S PLENTY OF ELITISTS THERE WHO MIGHT SHIT ON YOU FOR BEING A NEWBIE OR NOT HAVING THE SAME CAPABILITIES AS THEM OR EVEN HARASSING YOU FOR YOUR IDENTITY. TUNE THEM OUT. THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE ARE PRESENT EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND YOU SHOULDN'T ALLOW THEM TO SULLY YOUR EXPERIENCES. OR ALSO YOU CAN DECK THEM IN THE FACE. PERSONALLY I'M LEANING TOWARDS THE SECOND ONE BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE (DO THE SECOND ONE)

NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THAT STRAIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW -- ONLY DO SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU'RE CAPABLE OF, AND SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU CAN ENJOY. DON'T TURN THIS SHIT INTO A GODDAMN CHORE THAT LEAVES YOU SUFFERING EVERY TIME YOU DO IT, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT OF ANY OF IT. I DON'T KNOW YOUR PERSONAL SITUATION, NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THE MEANS OR THE TIME OR THE PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES. BUT CALISTHENICS DOESN'T TAKE ANY SPECIAL EQUIPMENT AND EVEN JUST SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU GET UP WILL DO. GODDAMMIT, COACH *WILL* FIND SOMETHING THAT WORKS FOR YOU, BOY

ANYWAYS DAMN RIGHT I'M FUCKING COOL DON'T YOU FORGET THAT

#SKILLSPOSTING #LONG POST #Ooc: OK dropping the “ooc notes in capslock too” bit for this. I am so sorry I don't know how this got so long. I blame the capslock LOL 🤣#Even now my eyes are glazing over looking at this...#This is something I'm a liiiittle bit passionate about. HPE was always my C subject in school while I'd get straight A's everywhere else...#...and my teachers were all the type to only watch the people they already knew were good (who would be very exclusive and only pass...#...the ball to one another). Badminton saved me though! 😊 (Sadly my leg is too bad now so I can't play anymore...)#It's easy for me to say all this since I come from a place of privilege having enough free time for this when some people might not #As well as being able to walk and run in the first place. And usually having the motivation to get up to do that.#So again don't let me yelling at you through PI influence you. You know *yourself* better than anyone.#BUUUUT even some stretches when you get up can make you feel good! 🤗Hahaha #Treat your body well. It's the only one you have. (I know that's *so* cliché to say... but it's a cliché for a reason hahaha)#ALSO. This whole thing... kind of doesn't align with my view of PI? But I'll talk about that in the tags of another response I need to make

8 notes · View notes

phoenixculpa · 1 year

Text

tell me it’s hard to befriend women: a flannel pattern across floral to charcuterie board a garden at your disposal (when you reached for a heart’s pulsed bosom, did it reach for you, too, what did you feel after each bouquet lapse in judgment—),

let kindness commence outside the hopeless well where pennies turned to quarters, to half/dollar bills, got tired of engravings flashing where i once found lush,

head to the city, be asked to boystown, reminisce: what’s asked of the glory days but laughter, never told you too much of the past, you never asked, but i know about yours, still don’t fathom the extent of trickled darkness, what’s fun about spilling endorphins on another, why getting slighted is your MO, fleeing you out the door, wounded dumbo,

amiable eyes on fire, how does my voice falter before you go, how does it crack, deplorably so, it’s another pattern of confidence gone with the wind, running to the women’s room by accident when i first chased you, same bar i told the ‘other woman’ she wasn’t special with her hand around my throat, in your honor,

your emeralds enlarge whenever i faze you, make you think, make you fear for barriers, embrace them harder than me, dropping crooned name, color coordinated telepathy,

white looks unstained in your blonde box braids, didn’t know who you were, for a moment, incidentally brushing into my averted arm with every chance, harping about green outside your eyes and that orange haired real estate agent,

“blonde pulled anyone, i’ll teach you the tricks of the trade,” jesting, overt construction on all sides, dropping another off near the university i used to attend,

waiting for children to cross the street, and dog walkers, i haven’t spliffed in weeks, haven’t wanted views to give or entertain, just city traffic, my hourly escape,

scar tissue a muscle memory, swerving away, and into blended lanes’ consideration. today is an overcast, better day, chilling my slackened arm through the window opening.

#freewrite

31 notes · View notes

sacrilegious-skeletal-scribe · 1 month

Text

five minutes off finishing Julia Ducournau’s Raw and can I just say

LanodhIEHOWHSJksjiwhrhe !!!?3&/!?!!!!!!!

Because

hey want the fuck And Also More

More immediately please never stop what you do

I feel like someone just crawled inside me had an epiphany and slinked out of my nose, leaving me with the endorphins and a sense that I am no longer the most interesting person to ever live in here

I want to go run laps but it’s dark and piss cold out right now no hang on I’m sure I can mock one up

I need to draw 80 screencaps and I dont have the talent for full scale body drawings

It’s not going to stop me

I’m not gonna get into it but it’s been A Week for me, fuck today was thirty hours long, in terms of emotional movement and life changes and sheer fucking synapse responses

Ms Ducournua please I think you’ve permanently rewired pieces of my brain I haven’t so hyped coming off a film since The Thing, I

I would fight bears for a sliver of your skill

The acting is phenomenal, scoring is gorgeous, all of the actors throw it out of the park and the special effects team need one of every award you can give for that

Oscar, Medal of Honor, Nobel Prize in fine arts

Garance Marillier you performed some of the best body acting I have ever seen, the way you held yourself and walked and moved your arms, facial expressions laosbjeosnsmnwbbe

Titane and Raw are just fucking masterpieces I can’t

I can’tttt express what these meant, the female lens to sex and parties and objectification and the visceral horrific realities of having a body

Sex that’s about everything but the act itself! Sex that’s about pain and invasive reflex and discovery and fear and imposed shame and human desperation, about the kind of violence you do to yourself and other people.

Nudity that isn’t sexual, it’s just there because we all have bodies! And skin isn’t an expression of want or social communication it came free with your fucking humanity!

Hey. Hey. If you’re this far in. And you like, or at least can stomach body horror.

Go watch these films immediately. They’re both wildly different in subject and story but carry this incredible capacity for gore and violence and mundane suffering and the horror we put ourselves and other through to survive.

I’m gonna go start a fight with a deer, be good people.

#Raw (2016)#julia decournua #film review #Julia Decournua’s Raw #body horror #Titane (2021)#some of the best fucking filmmaking ever put to an audience I’m Dead Serious #film recommendations #movie review

2 notes · View notes

chancecity · 17 days

Text

Rocky

“Life isn’t a tragedy; it’s a comedy! And you know as well as I do, Fi, that the two aren’t all that different.”

THE BASICS:

Gender: Trans Man

Orientation: Bisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

Age Aprox.: Early-Thirties (Younger than Fiona)

Skills: Chemistry, Guitar, Dance, Pyrotechnics

Reviews from People in Their Life:

“Annoying at first, but grows on you. Kind of like a fungus, but if fungus just wouldn’t stop singing and giving you unwarranted advice.” -Fiona, best friend/former nemesis

“Can he please stop smiling at me? It’s freaking me out. Why won’t he stop dancing? There’s not even any music playing?” -Vince, vaguely-terrified hero coworker

“Oh, he’s a genius for sure. If he could reign in his attention a little more, he would be unstoppable. Unfortunately, he is also a Dog.” -Sunny, mad scientist buddy/Right-Hand Henchman

Known Locations: The FeelGood Compound (home/lair, an abandoned mall), The Grey Area (local underground bar, frequented by local villains/criminals), various Banks and Large Corporate Headquarters

Basic About:

In a flash of fireworks and a boom of upbeat classic pop and glam rock, a normal outing to work or the bank becomes an involuntary flash mob. Joy is all that fills your head as your muscles respond only to The Beat. Distantly, you can feel and hear people trying to get through, trying to stop this feeling, but all you can do is close your eyes and move to the rhythm. As the dopamine crashes, the music gone and the authorities in a panic to find out what happened, you can only sit and wonder the same thing.

The government isn’t sure what Rocky is or how he manages to create a flash mob wherever he goes as a cover for his escape, but the answer is much more simple than their theories of “a trickster god made mortal” or “the result of yet another vat-related incident”.

Rocky is a chemist, a sort of Musical Mad Scientist who specializes in a homemade concoction he calls “The Beat”. An overwhelming flood of dopamine and endorphins that makes your body respond to rhythm, before ending in harsh lows after it passes (which takes about a half hour).

But recently, he has taken on a slightly different routine: Using his vast connections to the criminal underground network to help the Hero Corps catch a villain that has evaded the knowledge of even their most elite members. It’s something fun, something new, and the idea of seeing the inner workings of a bureaucracy he doesn’t respect just can’t be passed up.

THE PHYSICAL:

Eyes: Grey, Bright yet Slightly Manic

Hair: Sandy Blonde, Long and Full of Product

Height: 6’3” (6’5” in his heels)

Style Favorites: Glam Rock/Metal, though he would wear just about anything from the 70’s-80’s eras of fashion (masc or femme, doesn’t matter to him)

THE VIBES:

Top Song: “Magic Dance”, David Bowie

Voice Headcanon: Alex Brightman (School of Rock musical)

Themes and Inspiration: Anti-Authoritarianism, Fire, Stars, Escapism, Club Culture, Drugs/Addiction, Rebirth, Signal Highjacking (The Max Headroom Incident)

PERSONALITY: Bombastic, Dramatic, Anti-Authority, Affectionate, Friendly, Energetic, Outgoing, Obsessive, Confident (often Overly), Scientifically Intelligent, Zero sense of boundaries (or occasionally just an active disregard for them), Reckless

Rocky, Normal Human Guy

Despite the government being fairly uncertain of Rocky’s inherent nature he is biologically an average human, just one with a PhD in Chemistry and Pharmaceutical Sciences.

He was raised in the North-Midwestern US by two loving and very sweet parents along with his two older brothers and his younger sister. He had a fairly comfortable middle-class upbringing, but struggled amongst his peers who all didn’t seem to see in him what he saw in himself. They all saw some nerdy loser freak; he saw spotlights, sequins, fireworks, and a screaming crowd.

He got that, in his own way.

1 note · View note

mandyjane-lifedesign · 7 months

Text

The Social Swing: How Golf Fosters Connection and Emotional Wellbeing

In a world where everyone's looking for new ways to keep their mental health in check, why not step out of the usual box? Let me introduce you to golf—it's not just a game where you swing a club… It's like a secret weapon for feeling better. Let’s dive into how golf fosters connection and emotional well-being. It’s so much more than just putting a ball in a hole; it's about making social connections and giving your mind some serious TLC. The Mind-Body Connection In Golf We all know that getting up and moving around is like magic for our mental well-being. And guess what? Golf's got that special something that mixes up physical action, staying super focused, and just relaxing into yourself. When you hit the fairway, it's not just about getting your swing right. You're also giving your mind a workout as you work your way to the green and get all zen when you make that perfect putt. And this mind-body combo? Well, it's like a recipe for feeling really good inside. The Power of Nature Golf courses are like your ticket to a natural getaway. Imagine being surrounded by all that beautiful greenery—it's like instant therapy. Playing a round of golf gives you the perfect excuse to spend hours outdoors soaking up all nature’s goodness. Breathing in that fresh air and having all that space around you is a real stress-buster, and it's backed up by science. So, don't be shocked if your brain stops racing and your stress melts away as you stroll down the fairway. Connection Through Social Interaction Golf isn’t just you against the ball (unless you want it to be). It's also a chance to hang out and have fun together. Whether you're swinging those clubs with your buddies or spending time with your family, the golf course is a stage for catching up, enjoying each other’s company, and strengthening teamwork. Playing the game together isn't just about the sport; it's about making connections and forming bonds. And guess what? Those connections don't always end when you finish that 18th hole—they can stick around way longer when you meet someone like-minded. Mindfulness and Concentration Mindfulness isn't all about sitting down to meditate; it's really about being right there in the present moment. With golf, you've got to put your focus into every single swing you make. This kind of mindfulness can affect your brain in a positive way, keeping anxiety in check, helping you handle your emotions better, and building new neural pathways for better focus. So, when you're out on the course again, just take a second to really enjoy how peaceful the game can be. Bring your thoughts to the present moment, be thankful for where you are, and pay attention to each and every shot. Even the mind-muscle connection can be a form of mindfulness. Put your mind on your body as you swing your driver or fairway wood, making sure you keep your form and feel which muscles engage as you launch the ball. Concentrate on your game, your strategy, your form, and the beauty of the course… It's a wonderful way to reduce that mind-racing that’s an everyday part of the real world. Setting and Achieving Goals Golf is all about chasing goals. Whether you're going for a particular score or trying to nail a tough shot, every time you swing, you're working your way toward success. As you overcome these challenges, your confidence gets a really nice boost, and that feeling of accomplishing something big can stick with you even after the game's done. By setting doable goals out on the course and achieving them, you're basically getting ready for some serious emotional growth both on and off the course. Managing Stress and Anxiety Life can get pretty crazy, but when you step onto that golf course, it's like a little break from all the chaos. All the exercise you do in golf actually helps to lower those stress hormones, releasing happy endorphins and bringing on a sense of calm. When you're all in on your game, it's like the everyday stress takes a backseat for a while. Think of it as a mini vacation for your mind. Clear it of the stress, drink in those endorphins, and allow the outside world to fade away for a while. Plus, getting a good dose of vitamin D and nature has been proven to improve mental health. So between happy chemicals, increasing physical fitness, and the beauty of the course, it’s hard to find a better place to manage your stress. Lessons in Patience and Resilience Golf moves at a leisurely pace but doesn’t let that fool you. It’s also bound to throw curveballs your way – it's like an exam for your patience and mental toughness. These qualities aren't just helpful for getting that ball in the hole; they're actually pretty epic life skills. Being able to roll with the punches and stay relaxed and focused when things go south doesn't just work on the course—it's a powerful weapon for dealing with whatever life throws at you with calm, strength, and strategy. A Lifetime of Enjoyment Unlike some sports that have an expiration date, golf is something you can stick with throughout your whole life. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20 or 70—the golf course welcomes people of all ages with its easy-access sporting arena and joint-friendly mechanisms of play. And the good stuff it does for your mental health isn't just beneficial for you, either—it's a gift you can pass on to your kids and their kids too. The connections and memories you make out there on the golf course can become a family legacy, making sure that a strong sense of togetherness sticks around for ages. Conclusion All sport, both team and individual, helps to improve mental health if you do it right. But there’s truly something to be said for golf as a way to boost emotional well-being and foster connections. The harmony of safe physical activity, mindfulness, strategy, focus, nature, and socialization options set it apart from other sports. Plus, who doesn’t want to enjoy their sport in a stunning spot where you might even bump into some local wildlife? About the Author Jordan Fuller is a retired golfer and businessman. When he’s not on the course working on his own game or mentoring young golfers, he writes in-depth articles for his website, Golf Influence. Featured image: Photo by Niranjan Muthineni on Pexels.com Read the full article

0 notes

asianmassagetherapy · 11 months

Text

Massage Therapy Studio: The Best Place to Relax and Heal

Are you tired, stressed, or experiencing muscle pain after a long day at work? Do you want to experience serenity and bliss in a relaxed ambience? Massage therapy might be able to help with your issues! A back rub studio is an ideal spot to loosen up, unwind, and fail to remember every one of the concerns to you. We'll go over seven good reasons to go to a massage therapy studio right now and enjoy the benefits.

1. Licensed Therapists: One of the primary advantages of going to a back rub studio is the expert specialists accessible. Knead advisors have finished a specific preparation program and got certificate to give rub treatment benefits expertly. As a result, they know which methods and pressure points are most effective for your requirements. They know how to change the strain to suit your solace level. They have the expertise and knowledge to make your experience extraordinary.

2. Various Massage Types: Depending on your preferences and needs, different types of massages are available at a massage therapy studio. Swedish, deep tissue, hot stone, and sports massages are some of the most popular kinds. Each massage type has unique advantages, and your therapist can help determine which is best for you after listening to your concerns.

For instance, a deep-tissue massage is perfect for those suffering from chronic muscle aches and pains. On the other hand, reflexology is great for reducing stress and improving blood circulation in the feet.

3. A Relaxing and Inviting Atmosphere: The studios offering massage treatments are designed to create a comfortable, soothing environment. Soft music, dimmed lights, and pleasant scents help relax your senses while massage therapist work their magic on your muscles. It can help you feel more relaxed during the session and make it easier.

They are likewise intended to give a quieting and tranquil environment, which helps ease both the body and psyche. These studios are designed to alleviate stress, with soothing music playing in the background and the relaxing scents of aromatherapy oils. Look for the best back rub treatment close to me, and you'll get the rundown of best studios in your space.

4. Stress Reduction: Relaxation, de-stressing, and relieving muscle tension can all be achieved through massage therapy. It is a natural way to raise endorphin levels, which are the body's own painkillers, and improve the quality of your sleep. You can let go of all the tension and feel calm and peaceful during a massage therapy session.

5. Benefits to Health: Research has shown that rub treatment has various medical advantages. It can help lower blood pressure, improve circulation to muscles and joints, and assist in the healing process of soft tissue injuries. Standard back rub treatment meetings can prompt a general improvement in your physical and emotional well-being. You can get a list of the best massage therapists in my area by typing in "best near me."

6. Worked on Taking Care of Oneself: By giving your body the spoiling it merits at a back rub studio, you're further developing your taking care of oneself daily practice. In the present speedy world, removing time from your bustling routine timetable is vital for deal with yourself. Customary back rub treatment meetings assist with guaranteeing you make strides towards a better, more joyful life.

7. Utilization of Great Elements for Unwinding: To enhance your experience, a reputable massage therapy studio only makes use of ingredients of the highest possible quality, such as lotions, fragrances, and essential oils. These high-quality products will ensure that you get the most out of your massage session.

In conclusion, studios specializing in massage treatments are perfect for anyone looking to improve their physical and mental health while relaxing and de-stressing. Whether you're experiencing muscle pain or emotional turmoil, or want to treat yourself, a therapy studio can provide the perfect environment. With professional therapists, various massage types, relaxation, stress relief, health benefits, and improved self-care, you surely don't want to miss out on this amazing experience. Step into Asian Massage Therapy, the best massage therapy studio in Swindon, and book your appointment today.

#massage therapy studio Swindon #the best massage therapy near me #massage therapy #Swindon #massage therapy near me

1 note · View note

whatsonmedia · 1 year

Text

Why Depression is Nothing to be Ashamed About

After Years of Secretary and Shame, Depression Needn't be Embarrassing Just recently British news presenter, Huw Edwards, spoke openly with BBC Disability reporter and Disability Correspondent Nikki Fox and Emma Tracey about his experiences and struggles with depression and why it's so embarrassing. Now, this begs the following question; if we know how our struggles with mental health can lead to further problems including suicide, why is it that a great many of us are still too embarrassed to openly discuss it, let alone confront it head-on? Now, this is something that I have spoken quite openly about in my previous columns. And my thoughts about this issue are something I have always made quite clear. We need to stop feeling so humiliated by it and have those much-needed conversations. In the podcast with Nikki and Emma, Huw spoke openly about triggers and coping mechanisms. Things such as workplace stress and personal tragedies can act as a trigger that can lead to an episode. Something else which he also spoke quite openly about was that there can be times when he experiences an episode but because there wasn't anything happening in the build-up it can be difficult to understand what the triggers were. And he isn't the only one who suffered from the mental state either, Former Destiny's Child singer also had episodes during which she never even spoke about them. Back in 2021 during the Covid pandemic and lockdown, she gave an interview with American broadcaster, CBS News, about how she had suicidal thoughts because of the illness. However, what she did state, and this is something that many others have since said, "everything is not perfect, and that's okay". In other words, she knew that not openly discussing it was the elephant in the room and that it is something that you just need to talk about. Both openly and honestly without the fear of social stigma. Luckily for both of these amazing two, they both found an outlet that has actually worked quite well for them. Michelle released a book in which she spoke openly about her battles with depression and finding ways to deal with it. Huw also found a way, Boxing. Now I am not a huge fan of boxing, mainly because I'd get tired after five minutes also I'd complain about my fists aching but apparently there is some medical and psychological research to support these findings with exercise being used to help combat depression Well, first and foremost exercise helps trigger the release of endorphins into your brain and body. In addition that help improve your mood and raise your well-being, reduce your stress levels. And also help you to maintain a more positive state of mind. Something else it can do is support your ability to focus on something more positive. Let me give you some examples; in a few of the places I have worked at I have known colleagues who have lived with depression. One of them had to take time off work, the other openly revealed that they were on medication. Now the question I occasionally found myself asking was how often has someone ever spoken to them about it, was any kind of help ever offered? Up until a few years ago depression itself was treated very much in the taboo sense in that. It was seen as something that was pretty much ignored. Talking about it was seen in an almost similar way. And the attitude towards it was, in a nutshell, man up shut up, and put up with up. Yep, pretty much something I found altogether to be completely unhelpful, and mainly because it was. Why something was treated with such disregard? And why were those who even attempted to voice their concerns simply not heard? A couple of years ago the BBC did a series of special documentary programs called Gay Britainnia. Years and Years frontman Olly Alexander spoke about his experiences of living with depression. And which came about from growing up gay. In his episode, Growing up Gay he spoke openly. But not without a bit of difficulty, of dealing with mental health issues. And which were the result of peer treatment in regards to his sexuality. As an individual, he was in a situation where he couldn't turn to anyone. He also felt alienated from a lot of individuals as a result. Not a great way to reflect on various times of your childhood years. So a question that remains is why aren't we talking about our depression a lot more? Not all people see feeling ashamed negatively. When things getting worse, people will only be shamed into thinking that they are awful. Come on everyone, let's truly start dealing with this. Let's stop teaching ourselves this outdated shameful stigma, and let's start talking. One conversation can actually go a long way. https://www.verywellmind.com/6-ways-to-stop-feeling-embarrassed-about-your-depression-5095845 Read the full article

0 notes

billygoatsgardwrites · 2 years

Text

Wild Hearts Chapter Six

When they got back to the set they went right to the trailer. Bill went in first to make sure the coast was clear while she hung around a safe distance outside having a cigarette. Once he had confirmed that Aurora was gone, he came out and motioned for her to come inside. He looked happier than she’d seen him the entire week. The only real problem was that they had lied about getting him new boots and none of that had happened at all. She guessed they could come up with some sort of excuse or say they had to be specially ordered because Bill’s feet were huge but he didn’t seem too concerned with that. It was possible no one was even going to notice in the long run.

“Alright so give me a minute okay? Need to go arrange a few things.” He said. “Get changed into...well whatever the second nicest thing you own is. Okay?”

“It’s not gonna be more than jeans that aren’t ripped and a t-shirt.” She told him.

“Good enough.” He said and hurried out of there. He wanted to take her out and arrange something, what she didn’t know. He also seemed to think jeans and a t-shirt were fine for whatever this was so she couldn’t really complain. With his elevated mood it was almost as if he didn’t notice he was in pain anymore. It kind of made sense because there would be a lot more endorphin production. That and he did take two percocet on the way back to the set. They had definitely kicked in by that point since it took almost an hour. She showered and got dressed in a black t-shirt with her nicest jeans. Her best shoes were still the riding boots she owned and they were comfortable so she put those back on as well. As she was brushing her hair out he came back into the trailer.

“So...what’s the plan for tonight?” She asked.

“Wow you look nice.” He said.

“I do not, you’ve just never seen me in anything other than my riding gear or with my hair down.” She told him. She always put it up because it was easier that way and fit better under the helmet. Kind of completed the whole professional look.

“I still think it looks nice,” He said. “Anyway I’m going to get cleaned up and then we can head out. They are going to give us a few days off.”

“Normally I’d ask if you were sure that was a good idea but…”

“We are in pre-production. Truth be told I don’t even have to really be here to learn this stuff. I specifically requested it because I like my characters to be realistic. There’s nothing really contractual about this. I can more or less come and go as I please with some exceptions. When we start filming that will be a different story.” He explained. She nodded and guessed he had a point.

“But you got me off as well?” She asked.

“They don’t really need you here if you aren’t working with me, or at least that’s what I made them think. Is this a complaint or…?”

“No, just making sure.” She laughed, “You were right back in the car, I haven’t had fun in a very long time.”

“Then we will have to make sure you get a lot of it.” He said and grabbed some random clean clothes before heading into the bathroom. She watched him then got up and grabbed her small makeup kit once he was in there to touch up her face a bit. She wasn’t sure what this was, if it was supposed to be a date or just hanging out. Not that she’d refuse either way. The important thing here was that he wanted her to have fun and that was exactly what she intended to be doing. Having fun. It was very helpful that she’d also gotten paid that day as well. It was a once a week thing. Since she now had this trailer to stay in for the duration of filming it was going to help her save even more money. He was working just as many miracles for her as she hoped that she was for him.

*****

“Can I drive?” He asked as they arrived at her car which was parked on the crew lot just outside of the property area.

“Uh well-”

“I have a license I told you it’s just easier to use the car service.” He said, “You want to see it?” She smiled.

“It’s not you I don’t trust it’s this piece of shit car.” She laughed, “But if you insist then I guess I’m fine with it, just don’t blame me if the thing breaks down at random.” She got the keys from her pocket and tossed them in his direction. He caught them and they both got in before he started the car up and looked at her.

“I can’t blame you for something an old car does.” He said, “Well I guess I could but I wouldn’t that would be asinine and get us nowhere.”

“Point taken.” She said then fastened her seatbelt as he started to pull out of there. “Why do you want to drive anyway?”

“Because I don’t want you to know where we are going until we get there.” He said with a grin. She did question if it was very smart to let him drive while also on percocet but she kind of trusted he could handle himself. Knew his own abilities and knew when it was or wasn’t okay to drive. He was doing just fine getting out of there, no worse than she’d have been driving and after more than a few minutes on the road she realized that there wasn’t much to worry about. If he was taking medication like this regularly for other reasons then he was probably used to the effects of it by that point.

“Alright,” She said, “But we should probably stop by a bank before they close. Have to deposit my check or I won’t-”

“Everything tonight is my treat. Don’t worry about it. I owe you for that medical bill anyway.” He said.

“Just pay the bill and-”

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of that too.” He said, “Just, let me show you a good time okay? Stop fighting it. You deserve this no matter what you’re trying to tell yourself.”

“If you insist I will try to relax a bit more.” She told him. He laughed and she leaned in to turn the radio on. It was set to a station that played a mix of classic and country rock. She kind of hoped it wouldn’t annoy him too much but he wasn’t saying anything about it. Sort of set the mood for the road trip, wherever he happened to be taking her that was. She could tell that they were headed into the actual city of Los Angeles but considering how huge that place was it didn’t give her much if any details about where they might end up.

It was nice to have someone else driving her around for a change, especially in this traffic which he wasn’t wrong about. Kind of odd since he was such a celebrity and she was a nobody but, she managed to relax and just enjoy the trip. When he entered the Venice beach area, near the pier she knew exactly where they were. He took a few backstreets and pulled into a driveway before parking the car next to a much nicer one. They were at a beach house, semi private. Something that was definitely worth millions.

“Come on.” He said.

“Uh…”

“It’s my house, it's fine.” He told her heading for the garage door which had a keypad on the outside. He entered a code and the door started to open. She got out of the car kind of in shock. Not at the fact that he had a fancy house but that he’d brought her here in the first place. Then she remembered something about Aurora being in a hotel.

“Bill-”

“She doesn’t live with me.” He said, “She can’t get in without a key it’s fine. Really.”

“Oh,” She said. They were just engaged after all so she guessed it made sense. She was rather surprised she didn’t also have free access to his house but if he was filming a lot then he might not also be there. She may not have seen a need to gain access to it. He was also a smooth talker. It was possible he spent more time with her or even in Stockholm. She hadn’t really asked about how much he commuted. She entered with him through the garage where there was another car, a much nicer sports car and into the kitchen through the door inside after climbing a short flight of stairs. The place was amazing. Very modern, open design. This was where he lived? “No offense but you can’t just stay here while filming?”

“I could and will when she’s not in town.” He said, “She wants me in the hotel when...can we just not talk about her for awhile?”

“Yeah sorry it’s not my business anyway.” She said, “You have a very nice house, I really like it but why bring me here?”

“Quiet, private, and here…” He took her arm gently and led her through the kitchen into the living room. From where they were she could not only see the beach and the ocean but the boardwalk. In the far distance she could see the pier. He had prime realty adjacent to a bunch of stuff to do. Clubs, stores, street performers, the beach. It wouldn’t even be that long of a walk. She’d spent time here on occasion but she’d never had any money. It had been nice to look at but rather boring when you couldn’t even buy yourself a hot dog. “See? And what you’re wearing is perfect for the area.”

“This is amazing, Bill.” She said, “Thank you so much but where exactly am I sleeping tonight?”

“I have a guest room.” He said, “Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure, guess a beer would be fine.” She told him and went to sit down on the couch. Glancing around the room she saw a huge flat screen TV across from where she was and in the corner a very modernly designed glass fireplace. It was so quiet there, very peaceful. She could even kind of hear the sound of the waves on the shore. He was back a moment later with two beers holding one out to her she took it and he sat next to her. “You really should rest though.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” He replied.

“It’s not fun, it's sensible.” She laughed. “How about you rest tonight, maybe we order in and watch a movie and tomorrow you can take me out. Okay?” She took a few gulps of beer. It was some designer hipster microbrew brand she’d never heard of but probably cost like 20$ a bottle. It was very good.

“Fine but I really want to get to know you if that’s what we’re going to do.” He said.

“Why?” She asked, “Think you know most of what there is to know already. Horse trainer, ex-husband, living in my car, went to nursing school, have no idea who you are. That’s about it.”

“Yeah but you’re the first person to not...you don’t act different around me.” He said, “I know it sounds maybe like that’s a lie but you don’t understand that the circles I’m in with her and...her friends. I don’t get to really meet people like you. Not really. Sometimes on movie sets but there’s also usually not a reason to work so close with them. There wasn’t even really a reason now. They could have found a stunt double for the horse scenes they could have done a lot of shit. I just thought you know it would be something to get away. That she wouldn’t want to go out there because horses smell and it’s nature. Bad phone reception or something. It didn’t work. Worth a try but didn’t work. I honestly expected you to be like some big, burly dude not what you actually turned out to be.”

“You want to get to know me because I don’t know you?” She asked, “I’m sorry where do you think this is going to lead exactly?”

“Friendship.”

“You kiss all your friends like that?” She asked him and took another gulp of her drink. “If all you’re interested in is the fact that I don’t know you then I’m sorry but-”

“Horses.” He said, “That’s why.”

“Horses?” She asked. “You mean the fact that we’ve both fallen off them but you refuse to shoot yours?” He laughed kind of bitterly and looked away from her. He took a deep breath then gulped down a bunch of his beer before standing up.

“Come here.” He said, “I’ll show you.” She was kind of curious now, and found it interesting that he hadn’t said anything about what she had. It was the first time she’d made a very clear reference to Aurora being his horse and he didn’t correct it. Didn’t defend it. Didn’t justify it. She had thought it might make him angry but it hadn’t. Instead she just followed him up another set of stairs and down the hall to his bedroom.

“I’m sorry what the fuck does being in your bedroom have to do with horses?” She asked him.

“I’m going to show you.” He said and took another sip of beer before setting the bottle down on the nightstand. “Stay right there, or well...just get comfortable this will take a minute.” She sighed but nodded and sat down on the edge of his bed while he disappeared into what looked like a walk in closet. She took another sip of her drink and got her phone out to browse Instagram and random other things. It was then that she got the bright idea to look up his instagram. He didn’t have one. Nothing official anyway. That’s when she checked Auroras. On there she saw pictures of him from very recently. The ones he’d reluctantly taken with her and even the one where she’d obnoxiously set the flash off in his face. All of them were captioned with something obnoxiously stupid like “My man” “My Husband” “My Love”. She nearly wanted to retch. The more she scrolled down the more she saw. Bill being pulled around like an accessory, and it was obvious in most pictures he didn’t appreciate it, at all. The latest few pictures on the account were of Aurora on some fancy ass plane. Bragging about getting to go to Milan again, saying something about how she hoped it wasn’t as boring as Paris.

“Fucking bitch…” She muttered to herself and took another drink. It was only then that she caught the picture of Bill with the bruise on his face clearly visible. Captioned: “His clumsy dumbass fell off a horse.” She nearly screamed and threw the phone, and probably would have had she not heard Bill clear his throat, causing her to look up. The phone did slip from her hand but for an entirely different reason. “Sweet mother Mary…”

“You like it?” He asked. Not only did she like what she saw, she was pretty sure if she tried to stand up her legs would be too weak to hold her. He was dressed in one of the most amazingly stunning equestrian outfits she’d ever seen. Complete with riding crop in his hand. Gloves as well. Everything perfectly tailored, form fitted, sleek. He looked powerful. Confident. Absolutely perfect. She’d have been lying entirely if she’d said that this wasn’t one of her biggest goddamn kinks in the whole universe and he was standing there so completely smug it was like he knew.

“You...you have no idea.” She whispered and went to take another sip of her beer, her hand shaking more than she wanted it to. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before chugging a good portion of the drink and getting to her feet. With his height, slim build, intense eyes, and charming smile this was just too much. “No...I can’t do this.”

“Can’t you?” He asked, stepping towards her holding the crop out expertly, placing it under her chin. She didn’t know what this was, some sort of fetish crap she’d never heard of before, seen, but she supposed she was lucky. Had she known this was a thing way before now it may have destroyed her. She wasn’t unaware of porn or even romance novels. She’d read a ton of those because her love life with Scott left a lot to be desired but she’d definitely not gotten to this part of it.

“Y-You have a lot of explaining to do.” She said, very carefully moving the crop away from her chin even though she didn’t want to. What she wanted to do was fall to her knees and kiss the ground he walked on which was completely unlike her after what had happened. He was different too, not entirely, but it was like he’d gained a huge dose of charisma just by changing into this outfit.

“About what?” He asked.

“About what the fuck you’re doing with this outfit which by the way, all of it, close to five grand with how your customized it. Yet, you barely know how to ride horses, you don’t suck but you definitely needed my help. So why, in holy loving hell would you invest in that while not knowing dick about actual horses.” She asked him, her anger based way more in the fact that she was upset with herself for getting so goddamn turned on by him when she knew it was a bad idea.

“Because this isn’t about actual horses, if you haven’t noticed most of our conversations haven’t been about real horses.” He said. “There are things about me that are...different from what I guess you’d normally find. Aspects of my personality I can’t share with just anyone...not even her but I knew...I knew it would be you.”

“Me what? That you like to dress like uh...a fucking...fuck Bill…” She turned away from him, her face getting hot. “Well we still...I can’t.”

“This isn’t exactly the end of it.” He said stepping up behind her and pulling her close. For some very odd reason this very action didn’t startle her. She was aware that maybe it should but there was something between them now. A weird unspoken trust. Especially after what they’d been through that day. Her hands on his skin, feeling his back over his neck. His hands in her hair, her lips pressed against his. She didn’t fear him, she trusted him and he trusted her. By random chance it had happened he felt it too.

“There’s more?” She whispered. Fuck did she want to know the answer to this as much as she wanted to pull away. Not because she was afraid of him but because she was afraid of what this might mean. Not just about him but herself. What the hell was he doing to her?

“A lot more.” He leaned down and breathed in her ear. “Just let me show you and if you really want to leave after I won’t hold it against you but you won’t…”

“Confident about that?”

“If I wasn’t you wouldn’t fucking be in here.” He said, his voice as smooth as silk. Deep. The vibrations hitting her in every single way they needed to in order to heat her up more. How was he so fucking good at this?

“Show me then.” She said, hardly believing that she was saying it in the first place. He laughed softly and moved away from her. She turned and watched as he went back to the closet and grabbed a black box of some sort. He walked over to the bed and set it down on the bench before opening it up and pulling out just one thing. She definitely knew what it was meant to be; it was just made for a human instead of a horse. He looked at her and tossed it onto the bed. Her eyes followed it then went back up to him.

“Leaving?” He asked. Goddammit he was right. She stepped towards the bed and reached out but he quickly slapped her hand with the crop causing her to yank it back quickly. “Don’t, unless you’re putting it on.”

“You mean you are.” She said.

“What?” He asked.

“If I’m supposed to be the pony here, I don’t see how I’d have hands to do it.” She told him. What he was showing her was a face harness complete with horse ears at the top. Something that would wrap over her face, under her eyes, attach behind her head and it came complete with what looked like a bit. It was rubbed, obviously meant to be a gag, but there was no mistaking that he was suggesting that she be his pony. He stared at her for a moment like he was thinking about this.

“You’re serious?” He asked.

“Yes, isn’t this what you wanted?” She replied.

“Of course but I was kind of...bluffing, just a tad.” He laughed, “I mean I wasn’t sure any of that would work.”

“But here we are. Remind me to make a note of what a good actor you are.” She sighed, “This is what you want though? This...experience? You ever done it before? I ain’t going to be using shit that another-”

“Never. I’ve never even told anyone.” He said.

“But you chose me?” She asked.

“Just a hunch.” He said, “But you don’t know what this is either do you? Did you even know this about yourself?”

“Never really considered this side of it, no. How you are dressed yes...just didn’t really get as far as to think of what my role might be. I can’t say I’m shocked that if this is the conclusion it comes to I would like it. How did you find it out and if you’ve never done this before why do you have the outfit?” She asked.

“This? Came up with an excuse to buy it for some Halloween party she didn’t know why I wanted it but she didn’t care because it matched her stupid princess outfit. Prince charming something I don’t know I wasn’t paying attention.” He said flippantly, “As for how I found out...well when your girlfriend is blue balling you, it’s easy to fall into some weird rabbit holes of porn. Something about it just caught my attention.”

“But you didn’t go to her first. Why?” She asked.

“Really?” He asked, “Is that something you can’t figure out yourself? Who do you think she wouldn’t tell and you felt my back the fuck do you think that was? You think I’m the one using the crop ever?” That outburst was so sudden and startling she actually took a step back. That was the closest she’d gotten to him admitting anything about actually being abused.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that, I’m sorry.” He said, “I...I do want this. I understand if you can’t or won’t but you really are the first person I’ve ever brought in here to do this with. Check it out, it’s new. I may have had it for a while but it’s new.” He motioned to the box and the harness on the bed as well, using the crop to do it. She stepped closer and picked up the face harness first, running her fingers over the leather and the smooth rubber of the bit gag. She could find no signs this had ever been used. For one, it was leather and there was nothing to signify wear and tear or that it had even been unfastened from its original placement. She could still smell how fresh the rubber was on the gag. She glanced in the box to see what was even left. Not much. Seemed like some fabric but she wasn’t sure what, and a length of hair that was obviously meant to be a tail. The way it was folded and tied it had never been undone or brushed out either. He’d been desperately planning this never being able to really see it through until now. He was serious.

“I’m not sure I can do the gag right away.” She said after a moment. “Restraints either not until I know you can be trusted. This has to go slow, very slow and if we’re all up in here not using specifics but dancing around it, then you can figure out why.”

“I get it.” He said, “Suppose I can wait until you’re ready to share that part of it.”

“Same goes for you.” She said and detached the gag from the face harness easily enough. She tossed it onto the bed and held the rest of it towards him. He looked at her for a long moment as if waiting for confirmation and she nodded her head. He took it from her hand gently.

“Turn around.” He said softly. She did as she was told and allowed him to put the thing on her. Something he was surprisingly gentle about, even very careful not to get her hair caught. Positioning everything just right, like he was sure of how each thing was supposed to be placed. How he wanted it to look. “Face me.” She felt his hands drop, everything was definitely in place, a firm but not uncomfortable hold. She took a deep breath and turned to look at him, not even having seen herself first. What she saw was his reaction. His eyes light up with a hunger she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen from any man looking in her direction. The way she was sure her face lit up when she’d seen him standing there dressed in that outfit. He stepped towards her getting a bit closer.

“Is it what you wanted?” She breathed softly, getting more and more nervous the longer it took for him to say anything. His hand came up to caress her cheek softly, a thumb moving over her lips. He was shaking, his eyes scanning her, taking in the view as if she were some stunning work of art like he’d never imagined in his wildest dreams. Slowly he licked his lips, his hand dropped down, and he brushed a loose strand of hair over her shoulder.

“More,” He breathed. She couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face next. Nor could she stop the burning heat that rushed to her face, the desire welling up inside of her. Enough to make her nearly scream. She wasn’t exactly sure where it was supposed to go from here but she was very eager to find out.

#WHChapterSix #WHStory

0 notes

thesomethingguy · 2 years

Link

#BenjyAndFriends #ComicConAfrica2022

0 notes

howl-fantasies · 2 years

Text

----- 1 New Message -----

Riddl-ED

Lee still loves Jim.

Y/N

Ed?!

Riddl-ED

Do you think ED would be able to write a text just after seeing his feelings mocked like this, you imbecile?!

Y/N

No, he would be crying in a corner. Got a point here, Riddl-ED.

Riddl-ED

Don't tell me what I already know Y/N!

Y/N

Sorry for you loss?

Riddl-ED

She's not dead, idiot!

Y/N

Look. Not to say I ToLd YoU, but I did. Want to meet somewhere and drink yourself into oblivion? Did an amazing job on Barbs after her break-up with Jim.

Riddl-ED

I'm not that pathetic, THANK YOU.

Y/N

Well, you're kind of texting me like a sulking schoolboy, dear.

Riddl-ED

Because you're the only rogue I know who is in a toxic-insane but stable relationship and you're the only one who don't want me dead right now!

Y/N

You definitely know how to make someone feel special.

Riddl-ED

Spare me your sass Y/N, I don't need that now.

Y/N

What do you need then? A hug?

Riddl-ED

Well maybe it would help. Did you know that hugs create a soothing feeling that help to liberate endorphins?

Y/N

Well yes, and if you do it with someone you care about, your body releases oxytocin.

...

But I'm not sure Victor will see that from a scientific point of view. The only reaction you'll get here will be flying bullets going straight to your head. And he may also cut your hands and take them for a walk. And I mean, litteraly.

Riddl-ED

That'll not do.

Y/N

Tell me about it.

Riddl-ED

Frankly, I don't know what to do right now.

Y/N

Try to shoot someone maybe? Or go rent a soap and watch it while crying and eating ice cream?

Riddl-ED

What would you do if you were in my position?

Y/N

Not sure I'm the right person to ask, Eddie. I mean, say whatever you want but you're no cold-blooded killer. If I answer your question, I might feel like an irresponsible aunt giving her car keys to the kids and let them play with it...

Riddl-ED

I'm a grown up man, thank you very much. Don't make me beg.

Y/N

Don't make me responsible if it backfires Ed.

...

I would find the woman or the man my s/o cheated on me with or want to let me down for and I dunno, torture her/him with something painful, like a hydraulic press.

Riddl-ED

Oh god, that one is good. Many thanks Y/N!

Y/N

I have a very bad feeling about this.

...

Ed?

...

Oh dear.

--- GCPD - JIM'S DESK - 4:30 PM ---

------ 1 New Message ------

Zsasz's tamer - Y/N

I would wear at least 10 pillows under my body armour from now on if I were you.

Gordon

#gotham imagine #gotham #gotham x reader #edward nygma drabble #edward nygma x reader #edward nygma #jim gordon #gotham fox

48 notes · View notes

boop-le-snoot · 3 years

Note

Hey hey heyy! Maybe a Stephen Strange aftercare drabble? 🙋🏻‍♀️

Dr. Strange | nsfw-ish aftercare

This picture cracks me up. Diving head first into the multiverse lol

• You're both exhausted and drained, for a change. Stephen enjoyed getting under your skin, finding out what makes you tick, so most of the time it was you who immediately rolled over and went to sleep. But this time you set your mind on being as stubborn as possible and that paid off in spades.

• Stephen is calm and truly relaxed in what feels like ages, running open palms all over your skin, tenderly brushing his fingertips over the places he'd left his marks. You're floating, somewhere between space and ground, your tiredness sweet and aches pleasurable. He must've said something you missed because his movements stop and you see his eyes looking over your face in concern. "What?" You ask, drowsy.

• "You've completely dropped, huh?" Strange sounds equal parts amused and self-satisfied. You take a moment to consider his words and then nod: sub drop wasn't an uncommon occurrence after playing with the neurosurgeon-turned-sorcerer. It only showed that your man was unfairly good at everything. "Want some cuddles?"

• "Yessir," You mumble, giving into the desire to be babied and loved upon. Feeling his arms wrap around you and his tall, lithe form cover a considerable amount of your body surface, you relish in the comfort and safety your lover provides, letting your thoughts drift in your head like fluffy lazy clouds over a clear sky. "M'love you," The words are quiet.

• "I love you too, darling," He hears them nonetheless, raising a hand to gently stroke the side of your face. "You are so good for me," He whispers into your temple, his beard scratching against it, making you let out a short giggle. "So beautiful," The praise doesn't stop there. He points out your best qualities one by one.

• "So smart and brave," Stephen is beginning to sound choked up now. "And so, so kind," The gentle touch migrates to your waist where he clutches you closer to yourself, slotting your bare bodies to each other. You fit together like two matching pieces of a complex puzzle.

• "No, you," A sudden bout of childishness strikes you and you pull out your hand to extend a single finger to boop his nose. "My sexy, serious doctor-wizard," It's not often you two joke around like this so you savor the moment, placing featherlight kisses to the skin of your lover wherever you can reach.

• "I'm a sorcerer," He replies lowly but there's no malice in his tone. He gently tickles your ribs before resuming the gentle stroking of your marked flesh, soothing the stings and burns with a dash of magic he thinks you can't feel. It's been a long time since you figured out why your post-play bruises heal so quickly.

• Stephen thinks he's being extra sneaky; you don't have the heart to tell him he's been made but at the same time you can't help but wonder what would it feel like to spend the next day with the past evening's sensations branded into your skin, blooming each time you move and sit down.

• "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" As usual, Stephen's sixth sense lets him know you're thinking of something... Special. You snort in response.

• "Nothing, just thinking what did I do in my past life to land myself this sexy, brilliant doctor who also happens to be an omnipotent sorcerer," The reply is coy. Stephen takes a second to bask in the compliment, rewarding you with a short but passionate kiss that grounds you as you begin to come down from the endorphin high.

• "I can be persuaded enough to look and see," He cocks an eyebrow in that contemplative way and you still have no idea if he means it or is just joking around. The possibilities of his magic powers seem endless to you.

• "I don't think it's really a question I need answered," Finally, you come to a conclusion of your own, really not caring for the spiritual at the moment when your very physical body is snugly wrapped in your boyfriend's arms and he is more than happy to give you all his undivided attention.

It's been years since a man has been able to put me in subspace so pardon me, I'm a little rusty on the details. I feel like Steph would be super verbal though, y'kno? Anyways, there's too little Doc appreciation and we need to start fixing that.

#stephen strange headcanons #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x reader #doctor Strange x y/n #stephen strange fluff #doctor Strange fluff #bunny's headcanons

702 notes · View notes

ailelie · 3 years

Text

strong

It starts when Jirou overhears a conversation between Aizawa and Present Mic that could be flirty or not. This leads to a lunchtime discussion of flirty vs. friendly and whether or not the two teachers are each other's types. This then spins into a conversation about "types" in general.

Lunch ends before Todoroki is forced to answer with his own "type."

Class is a special lecture on heroism and psychology. This brings up the cycle of abuse and Todoroki's mental "no."

After dinner, the conversation lazily turns back to types and Todoroki gets called out for not giving his before. "Strong," he says. He gets teased for not giving more--hair color, sense of humor, hobbies, gender--and he's like "those aren't important." Likes? Dislikes? They push. Then he thinks and shakes his head. Strong encompasses everything important.

Eventually the conversation circles back to the instigating situation: Aizawa and Present Mic: Flirty or Friendly? The students start to scheme and this draws in Mina who pulls in the rest of the squad.

Bakugou thinks the whole thing is stupid. Todoroki is surprised to agree with him. Bakugou also points out that even if they are, maybe they don't want anyone to know. And, besides, what does it matter? (Secretly Bakugou knows he isn't straight and he'd hate to be outed by nosy idiots).

Next day, they're assigned a project. They can work in groups. Groups form and discussions, but the project conversation keeps slipping back to the schemes. Todoroki accidentally makes eye contact with Bakugou and it seems he is just as exasperated. Then Bakugou asks the teacher if they can change up groups if they want to do something else for the project. Teacher says "yes" as long as they finalize groups by the end of the period. Then he asks if he can work alone. That is a "no." So Bakugou considers his options (Yaoyorozu’s group would be focused, but he does not want to work with Iida, etc) and ends up approaching Todoroki who is looking about as miserable as his face allows at his own table. Bakugou confirms he isn't in on the scheme yet and says they should work together instead. Todoroki agrees, much to the surprise and dismay of his friends. He just wants to get the project done.

Near the end of the period, Shinsou drops into a chair by them and says they have to be less annoying than Aoyama's group. And then asks why they peeled off from the others. Bakugou says the rest are too focused on whether or not the teachers are dating. Shinsou suppresses a smirk and says "They aren't." "Like I care?" "We're not talking about that," Todoroki says, pulling them back to the project.

They hash out a study schedule for the project. They've got a month to pull it all together. Finding a quiet place to study is difficult, though.

There is training. Todoroki watches Bakugou finish up a set and comments, "You're strong." Bakugou a bit high on endorphins and beating his personal best just says "No shit."

When their study spot is basically invaded for the third time in a row, Shinsou groans and says he might have somewhere they can study instead. He just has to ask first. Bakugou frowns because that reminds him of an option, too. So, until Shinsou can figure out whether his idea will work, they decide to try working on their project at Bakugou’s house.

Todoroki sees how Bakugou and his mother interact, which reminds him of the lesson on cycles of abuse. On the train back to UA he asks, out of nowhere, “Do you think all kids end up like their parents?”

Shinsou and Bakugou immediately answer “No.” Todoroki is like, “But your mother…” / “But nothing. That’s just how we talk. What’s the point in sulking around or hiding what you mean?” The two then glance to Shinsou who’s just like, “My parents abandoned me. I hope I can clear that bar.” / Bakugou’s eyes widen a bit at that, but he only says, “Yeah. We decide what we’re like. Not them.”

And for the second time that week, Todoroki thinks strong.

A few days later, Shinsou announces he has a place they can study, but it is top secret so they can’t tell anyone. The other two agree. (Bakugou’s house isn’t bad, but it isn’t super close either. Walking distance is much better than a train). So after classes, he walks them away from UA, into the nearby neighborhood, and to an apartment.

Inside the apartment is Present Mic with his hair wet and down, frowning over some papers with a grading pen in his hand. He glances up when Shinsou flicks on the hall light. Shinsou signs something and Mic replies and gets up. “Wha--” Todoroki starts to ask quietly and Bakugou replies before Shinsou can, “He’s going to put his hearing aids back in.” “You sign?” Shinsou asks, surprised. “I’m probably going to be deaf by the time I’m 30,” Bakugou replies with forced nonchalance. “I figured I should learn before I had to.” “You should talk with Yamada.” Bakugou raises his brows. “You live with Yamada?” Meanwhile Todoroki is looking around the room and notices the photographs. “And Aizawa?” he adds. Shinsou just smirks again. “You’ll see.”

Present Mic returns with his hair pulled back. “I didn’t realize today was study day,” he says with a bright smile. “Why don’t you take your friends to the table, Hitoshi? I’ll put together a snack.” He does just that and then returns to the living room and his grading. The whole thing reminds Todoroki of Bakugou’s mother when she and Bakugou weren’t arguing. And he asks, carefully because he knows he misses social cues, “Is Mr. Yamada your father?”

This, of all things, is what flusters Shinsou. “Adopted,” he says. “He and Aizawa.” Bakugou laughs. “So that’s why they’re not dating. They’re married?” Shinsou confirms this and reinforces the secrecy.

At some point Aizawa returns to the apartment and Hizashi invites Todoroki and Bakugou to stay for dinner. Then Aizawa offers to walk them back to UA before he goes on patrol. “We won’t say anything,” Todoroki promises; he knows the value of secrets. Then, after a long minute, Bakugou adds, quietly, “But maybe you should? It’d have been nice to know sooner it wasn’t impossible.” Aizawa only nods. He walks them to the gates and tells them to get to bed.

On his way to his room, Todoroki realizes the implications of what Bakugou had said and once again marvels at his strength. Speaking out against a teacher and professional hero, revealing something about himself like that--compounded with his self-confidence and drive and physical fitness…

Todoroki sinks onto his bed and thinks oh.

Once the thought is there, he has trouble not paying attention to Bakugou. It is a Problem.

He is not subtle. Bakugou calls him out on it and Todoroki answers honestly, “I want to understand you.” Like Bakugou is some kind of complicated puzzle.

Really, the only thing keeping Todoroki from becoming the center of attention as everyone tries to understand why Bakugou is the center of his attention is that the flirty v. friendly now duelling schemes are still on. By this point the teachers know. Yamada is having fun with it. Aizawa is ignoring it.

And Todoroki and Bakugou have dinner at their apartment about twice a week. The project ends (and they ace it), but this routine persists.

It is strange watching the two teachers interact with Shinsou. Todoroki even watches Aizawa and Shinsou train one afternoon and is again resentful about his father and own training. And it builds. They go to the apartment and everyone is so nice and family like. And the teachers ask Shinsou about his grades and tease him over his crush on some girl they never outright name. And it is this fury building. He knows how to swallow back his anger, all of his emotions really, but he’s been letting his guard down more at UA and apparently he’s forgotten the trick of it when he has this much going on inside of him (because it isn’t just the fury; it is also his confusion about Bakugou, his worries about his mother, etc). And on the way back to UA, he quietly demands to know why Aizawa never hurt Shinsou during training.

Why didn’t he hurt him? Why didn’t he insult him? Why? He’s crying but doesn’t realize it. Bakugou is frozen. And then Aizawa is hugging him and suggesting that they return to the apartment and talk instead. Todoroki is calming but everything is still spinning around him. Aizawa asks if Bakugou can return to UA alone and Todoroki surprises himself by saying “No. He can come.” Because Todoroki has no idea what he feels about Bakugou, not really, but he knows the other boy is strong and right now he needs strength.

They return. Yamada sees them and murmurs that he’ll make tea. Aizawa takes Todoroki to the couch. Shinsou signs to Bakugou asking what happened. Bakugou replies that he has no idea. Icyhot (and yes, Todoroki’s name signs are that combination) just started crying. Aizawa interrupts the conversation by asking Bakugou to join Todoroki on the couch. Yamada brings in tea and Aizawa starts asking questions. Bakugou isn’t sure what he’s doing there until he feels Todoroki lean very slightly against his shoulder. A cat jumps into his lap. His voice is basically a monotone, but Bakugou realizes he’s still freaked out. And, as he listens to what he’s saying, he realizes why. Shinsou sits on the floor on Todoroki’s other side and leans his shoulder against Todoroki’s knees.

And after the talking is done and Todoroki is staring down at his cold, undrunk tea and the teachers are in the kitchen talking silently. Bakugou says, “You will never be your old man, Icyhot. I’d kick your ass if you tried.” For some reason this makes Todoroki huff a small laugh. “Good.”

The teachers return. They have extra futons. The boys will stay the night and they’ll discuss everything in the morning. They move the couch and lay out the futons. Shinsou sleeps in his own room, so it is just Bakugou and Todoroki.

Todoroki can’t sleep. Now that he’s calmed from his earlier fury and breakdown, panic is setting in. He can’t believe what he just did. Bakugou notices and, instead of insulting him, asks if he wants to learn sign language. They spend about an hour going through the alphabet and basic words until Todoroki is tired enough to sleep.

In the morning, Todoroki refuses to press any charges against his father. The teachers say that they’ll arrange it so that he spends all of his holidays with them or at the school. And say that he has to start meeting with Hound Dog once a week to talk. Todoroki does not like the mandated counseling, but accepts it as his punishment for letting his emotions get the better of him.

The signing lessons continue. Each night, about an hour after curfew, Todoroki slips down to Bakugou’s room and learns sign language. Kirishima knows the sneaking is going on and that Bakugou is giving lessons, but he’s just so proud of Bakugou making friends on his own that he helps cover for them. (He doesn’t know why Todoroki is learning sign, but he doesn’t ask).

The flirty v. friendly schemes are ongoing and yielding mixed results. The debate is annoying. It has been a month, but the growing mountain of contradictory evidence is keeping the conversation alive. Izuku points out that this is the kind of thing Todoroki would normally be all over, but he doesn’t know how to make himself care. He doesn’t care about other people’s romances. He barely cared about his own before Bakugou.

Because that is definitely still a thing. After Bakugou didn’t make fun of him for his breakdown. After he started teaching him sign language every night. He just wants the other boy close. He doesn’t understand his own impulses beyond that. It is enough that he’s even eaten lunch with the Bakusquad a few times.

Meanwhile, Bakugou is opening up to the teachers a bit more. After seeing how they handled Todoroki’s breakdown, he finally takes Shinsou’s advice and mentions his own hearing loss and how it probably wasn’t going to get better. Then one night he brings up what he’d hinted at before. It’s been weeks since then, but he talks about how annoying the schemes have gotten and asks why the teachers don’t just tell everyone and then says that he’s gay and if they’re too cowardly to let little kids know they aren’t alone and anyone can be a hero, then he’ll just do it himself.

On the walk home, Aizawa tells him he’s right and that they’ll think about it. During sign language practice that night, Todoroki tells Bakugou that his friends had asked him before what his type was and that he’d said “strong.” And then he says, “You’re the strongest person I know. I like you.”

And Bakugou is like “you can’t just say something like that” and Todoroki’s just “why not? It’s the truth.” He maybe quotes or references Bakugou’s comment from over a month ago on the train about being direct. So Bakugou asks if they can talk about it tomorrow and Todoroki just nods and asks, “Do you mind if I eat lunch with you tomorrow? I like being close to you.” And Bakugou feels like he’s about to explode of something, but he agrees and all but pushes Todoroki out the door.

Kirishima is returning to his room after staying late in Kaminari’s room playing games. He checks the time. “Lesson end early?” he asks. Todoroki says, “I told him I like him.” Kirishima’s brows raise--”That would do it.”--and he wishes Todoroki a good night. As soon as he’s out of sight, Kirishima lets himself into Bakugou’s room, knowing his friend is not going to be able to process this on his own.

The day happens and isn’t particularly notable. Todoroki has eaten with Bakugou’s friends before, after all. That night, Bakugou says, “Okay. Let’s try this.”

Kirishima, good bro that he is, provides gossip cover by publicly confessing to Yaoyorozu. He wanted someone unlikely who would definitely not return his feelings and who no one in the class would expect. (She accepts. It is a Thing. They go on a date and he explains. When she looks upset, he says that he does admire her; he just never thought of her that way because he figured he didn’t have a chance. He asks her if she wants to try this while also using their relationship to draw away as much attention as possible from Bakugou and Todoroki. Todoroki is her friend, so she agrees. And thus begins their farce covering a real growing friendship and relationship during which they both gain confidence).

Meanwhile Todoroki and Bakugou go on a date. It goes rather well. Except Todoroki still wants closer.

They start cuddling during their nightly lessons, which somehow remain mostly lesson still. Todoroki curls against Bakugou like a cat, mimicking his gestures.

Bakugou talks with Kirishima about things. Todoroki talks with Shinsou. (He’d like to talk with Midoriya, but even he realizes that wouldn’t be the best idea). On weekends, when other students head home to see family, Todoroki stays with his teachers and Shinsou instead of staying in the dorms like he used to. He sleeps on a futon in Shinsou’s room and tells him about dating Bakugou and wanting more, but not knowing what that “more” is. Shinsou suggests kissing. (And maybe privately teases Bakugou about it but Bakugou just flushes and gets agitated and blusters about being careful. And Shinsou, for the first time, calls Todoroki his little brother (actual ages do not matter) and tells Bakugou not to hurt him. Bakugou is both insulted and relieved by this. As if he would).

So the next night Todoroki asks Bakugou to kiss him. So Bakugou, blushing even though (thanks to Shinsou) he’d known this was coming, does. Soft and chaste. He pulls back and Todoroki blinks slowly and says “Again.” Bakugou smirks or grins and kisses him again. This one is not nearly as chaste.

At some point Bakugou tries to be nice and use ‘Todoroki’ instead of a nickname and Todoroki is like ‘I don’t like all of the nicknames, but I like that you don’t use my family name.’ And Bakugou gets it, but the nicknames start getting nicer. Less ‘halfie’ and more things like “strawberry swirl.”

The first time he does this in front of others, Kirishima glares at him and is trying to figure out how to draw the attention away when Yaoyorozu suddenly calls for him using his given name. The whispers shift immediately. And Kirishima, when he recovers his senses, thanks her for her quick thinking.

But such attention drawing doesn’t last forever, especially as Bakugou and Todoroki start gravitating toward each other during school hours (and the lesson portions of their evenings grow shorter and shorter). Then one day when everyone is starting to question them about it (maybe they fell asleep on the couch together in the common room?), Aizawa enters the room and sighs and says, “I hope you’re not concocting another scheme to harass my husband and me.”

Pin drop.

But at least no one cares about Bakugou and Todoroki being friends (or napping together) anymore.

But people will find out soon (and Bakugou is kinda itching to come out now that Aizawa and Present Mic have; it feels too much like backing down if he doesn’t), so Todoroki and Bakugou talk about what they are and what they want. And for Todoroki it is simple. He just wants to be close. And maybe he mentions also not wanting to be his father and that Bakugou reminds him that he doesn’t have to be, that he can be strong. And Bakugou wants to date. He wants to do all the shit people assume he wouldn’t be interested in. And he wants to do that with Todoroki. Plus, Todoroki’s belief in his strength is good. He feels calmer with him around. (So, basically, they’re each a rock for the other; two strong people making each other stronger by reminding each other of their own strengths and believing in one another).

It isn’t love. But it is something.

So, later that night, Bakugou sneaks down to the kitchen and makes a bento for Todoroki. The next day at lunch, when Todoroki is with his friends, he goes over to them and rolls his eyes at the inevitable takeout lunch. “Don’t eat that crap,” he says, pushing it aside and dropping the zaru soba bento in front of Todoroki. “Made this for you.” Todoroki smiles and thanks him. Bakugou kisses his cheek and is pulling away when Todoroki catches his wrist. “Again.” Bakugou laughs and maybe calls him “insatiable” or something and kisses him on the lips before returning to his own table.

(Kirishima and Yaoyorozu were not briefed on this. Their eyes meet in wide panic because they can’t beat that. They’re plotting across the room when Bakugou notices and waves them off.)

And Todoroki’s friends aren’t sure what just happened, so they ask. Todoroki smiles. “I figured out my type,” he tells them. “Bakugou.”

#bnha #todobaku #erasermic #kirishima/yaoyorozu #not!fic #actually wrote this back in jan 2020 but it has just sat in my google drive

98 notes · View notes

flowerwrites06 · 3 years

Text

break my mind’s eye special — jjk

Plot: Jungkook thinks marriage is the only way to seal a deal.

Pairing(s): Druglord!Jungkook x Fashion Designer!OC (Name: Belle)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Word Count: 7k+

Genre: Mafia | Angst/Smut/Fluff

Tags & Warnings (for entire series): drug dealing, marriage through trickery, explicit smut, drug use, dubious consent, prostitution, miscarriage, lots of manipulation, impregnation through manipulation

Walking through the dark halls of permanently stained apartment building, Jungkook finally stood in front of a familiar number written on the text. He rapped at the wooden door a few times hearing a couple of grunts and rummaging from the other side. He sighed. “It’s me, Hoseok, you don’t have to hide the weed.”

“ Oh! ”

A few locks clicked here and there before the door swung open to welcome a light air of smoke mixed with the stench alone that could make Jungkook high. Hoseok gave him a loose smile, holding onto his arm as a wide grin spread across his lips. “You finally made it!”

Jungkook hummed trying not to grimace too much at the smell as the older male closed the door behind them.

“Come on, tell me…” Hoseok patted his back, prancing towards the couch where the coffee table was exuding smoke.

The apartment was miniscule with one bedroom door open on the left and a tiny kitchen on the right with a window next to the fridge. Another one near the dining table. Walls were a gross green tint and the floors a dull brown with black velvet couches that were ripped a little at the edges. But Jungkook could not complain.

“Tell you what?” The younger male dropped his bag on the floor and sat on the couch next to him, burying his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

Hoseok picked his joint back up and hovered it near his lips. “What was prison like?” He sucked in his cheeks causing the ambers to light up at the end before he blew the thick smoke away from Jungkook.

“Like living with a bunch of criminals. What else?”

“So just like old times then.” Hoseok smirked.

Jungkook glanced at the male for a moment before scoffing out a chuckle. “Yeah…pretty much.” Except there was one difference. Every time he pranced with criminals like himself in the past, he was a leader. In prison, he was young, fresh meat. Before he would also come back home to a warm embrace in bed instead of a steel bed alone with a stinky roommate.

“Well it’s all over now.” He blew out another puff of smoke, shifting to rest his head back against the couch. “You can start doing something else with your life. Something different. Not a lot of people like us get that chance.”

For the first time, he noticed a slight sadness in Hoseok’s tone despite being pumped with artificial endorphins.

His eyes flickered down to the coffee table, noticing the burger wrappers and scattered newspapers. One of them immediately caught his eye. Jungkook sat up again, pulling one of them out of the pile, the right corner of his lips twitched seeing the familiar face.

‘ FAMED DESIGNER KIM BELLE RULES TOKYO FASHION WEEK ’

A side by side picture of a model wearing violet and gold ensemble which almost resembled the traditional kimono with a modern, royal twist. The picture on the right showed her. Belle wearing a simple black dress with her gorgeous waves out and a gracious smile spread across her lips.

‘ Twenty seven year old fashion designer Kim Belle takes all the popularity and buzz with her winter designs for Tokyo Fashion Week. Showing her long love for traditional Japanese fashion culture along with an inspiring movement for domestic violence and trafficking victims by showcasing broken chains and kimono style gowns. An elegant mix of grace and fight for personal freedom. Truly an impressive successor to the legend that was Madame Saito and we are definitely going to keep an eye out for more of her daring projects. ’

“She made a big damn name of herself.” Hoseok broke through the thick coat of silence Jungkook had around him.

“She deserves it.” More than I ever did.

The older male searched his expression for a moment, scoffing a little. “Dude, I have to ask.”

Jungkook met his gaze as he leaned back onto the couch again with the newspaper still in his hands. “What?”

“Why her?”

His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you—literally could’ve had anyone in the entire country to pose as your fake wife or whatever. But you chose a fashion designer who barely knew anything about you to begin with…” Hoseok shook his head with a light wince. “What was your angle?” Some part of him did not want to believe Jungkook simply blackmailed someone for his own amusement because he knew the man was better than that.

Jungkook wished he had a decent reason to blurt out to him. Maybe he was just inherently evil and wanted to hurt Belle for his own pleasure. Maybe he wanted to fuck her one time just for kicks before dragging her out a little further until it was too much. Maybe he was just sick in the head, wanting to claim a girl who could not say a word against him because her and her brother’s life were wrapped around his finger. Except none of them felt like the truth. “I honestly thought she’d say no.”

“Oh fuck off—”

“Seriously I…” He shrugged a little. “I really thought she was going to punch me and storm out of there with her brother.”

“But the guards wouldn’t let her. I mean—no offense, buddy but you would’ve probably killed her. Knowing you from back then.” Hoseok scrunched his nose lightly.

“She did something ten times more dangerous though.” Jungkook couldn’t resist the jolt of pride bursting in him. “I destroyed her—so she waited until she destroyed me.”

Hoseok chortled a little, voice incredibly raspy. “I wouldn’t call going to jail for your crimes destroying you but sure…”

Jungkook shared a small laugh, nodding as he looked at her picture again. He could almost still feel her soft skin underneath his palm. How her hair smelled when he would hug her from behind as they slept, the way it soothed him to a calmer sleep.

“It’s a thing of the past though…” He tilted his head as his expression turned a little more serious. “…right? No more pulling her into shit she doesn’t deserve?”

“Yeah—yeah, of course.”

“Good…cause Belle’s the star of the city now. One wrong move towards her, you’re back in jail or worse.” Hoseok raised his brow a little making sure there was not a hint of determination on that young face of doing anything stupid. “You don’t have guards or power by your side and Taehyung isn’t addicted anymore. Has a wife and kid…he’s got the dad anger. So he will beat the living shit out of you if you give him the motivation.”

“I know, Hobi.” Jungkook chuckled, patting his thigh gently. “I don’t want her to go through it again either.”

Hoseok hummed a little taking another waft from his joint as he looked out the window, the sky tinted purple. “Alright. I’m gonna go and eat my girlfriend out.” He patted his shoulder, walking up to his bedroom.

“You had to look at the time for that?” Jungkook winced despite the grin on his face.

“Brother, when you’re together for this long, things need schedules.” He walked out of the bedroom with a black duffel bag putting out the joint onto the ashtray. “Food’s in the fridge and there’s Netflix open on the laptop.”

Jungkook waved him off before the door clicked close leaving him in his thoughts. For some reason, all he could do was look back at the newspaper and try to salvage that warm feeling again. The feeling of a true home that could never be.

Purple faded into a deep blue across the skies as Jungkook paced around the apartment in his bare torso, scattered with more imperfect tattoos. One cellmate liked doing tattoos because it calmed him down so the younger male did not hesitate much to let him use his skin. He was a nice man who had been thrown in jail for being a drug mule all his life and Jungkook could not help but have a nauseating guilt in his stomach.

Drug mules were essentially trafficked human slaves from Jungkooks’ experience. Their owners use their lives and bodies to transport goods without being detected and usually they start off terrifyingly young or desperate or both. All this service was done for almost little to no money. They were more abused victims than criminals but the legal system were not good at telling the difference sometimes.

Jungkook allowed his body to be used as if giving himself some kind of cathartic relief allowing the broken soul to control something else for a while instead of being controlled. Thus his skin now littered with designs of devil horns, tiger flowers and his own personal request was a tiny print font ‘B’ on his collarbone. No one could truly see it up close but he wanted to feel it there.

Chugging a generous sip from his beer bottle, he quietly observed the night sky glimmering with stars while the city shone in neon. The one thing his mansion lacked was the clear view of how alive everything looked at night.

A knock sounded on the door causing his head to shoot to the side.

Hoseok should not have been home at this hour. Even if he was, the man would not knock in his own apartment.

Jungkook opened the kitchen drawer and brandished a knife before making his way over to the door. Another knock sounded again. It was a gentle knock. Almost shy. But he knew better than soften up so easily. Carefully, he peeked through the peephole trying not to make too much of a sound even though the wooden floors creaked far too much.

His heart jumped right up to his throat seeing the familiar face on the other side. Jungkook almost dropped the knife on the floor trying to focus as best as he could. Was he drunk already? Was he dreaming? Gulping down, he placed the knife on the side table along with the beer bottle and opened the door.

When the view became clear to him, Jungkook let out a sharp breath. “Belle.”

Her hair was shorter up to her shoulders compared to the length in the newspaper picture except she still always kept her natural waves. Eyes a little glazed while her flushed lips spread into a weak smile before pressing them together again. “I-I don’t–I don’t know why I’m here.” Belle’s furrowed her brows a little.

“It’s okay.” He whispered. “Come in.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Jungkook smiled even though a small tinge of sadness shone in his eyes.

He opened the door further for her to enter before closing it behind him. Eyes flickered down to her grey sweatpants and frilly white socks paired with a thick sweater like she just woke up from a nap.

Belle kept her back to him for a few minutes, pretending to observe the apartment even though she was really just trying to figure out why she was here. Questions muddled her mind over and over again. Any valid or logical answer. There was nothing. No reason to be standing here when she tried so hard to walk away from him. She did everything to get away. Now she walked right back without any coercion.

Jungkook tilted his head attempting to meet her gaze but decided not to force it too much. “You cut your hair.” A smile twitched on his lips. “It looks nice.”

She absentmindedly touched her waves, breathing out a small chuckle. “Thank you.”

“Uh—how did you know I was here?”

“Namjoon helped me track you down.” Belle mumbled, guilt pooling in the pit of her belly going behind Yoongi’s back like this. She still remembered what Namjoon said when he gave her the address.

‘I’m only giving you this because I know you’re tough as nails…no matter what people say to you…but the second anything goes wrong, you call me.’ Namjoon had become a close friend in the last few years. He had been escorting her back and forth from home to work.

Yoongi had been disallowed to see her after being undercover so he could get a proper therapy before doing field work again. So Namjoon seemed the next obvious choice to take care of her.

Finally Belle turned around to face him, eyes raking down his torso and seeing new designs etched on his skin. Not as precise as the phoenix but still beautiful. “The tattoos look good.”

Jungkook glanced down at his torso with a soft grin. “A friend did them for me.” He met her gaze again even though she quickly averted it, plunging silence back into the room as they waited for it to be filled. “Belle…why are you here?”

Her body deflated as the question lingered in the air, lump growing in her throat while her knees kept trembling. “I—” Belle closed her eyes. “I mis—I missed you.” She smiled sadly before trailing her glossy gaze away again. “It sounds stupid when I say after so long.” Her voice kept getting constricted from the lump, tears filling at the brim of her eyes. “But I still think about you…I still kept that—stupid letter after all these years.”

A familiar warmth seeped through his veins knowing she missed him but it still mixed with dread and guilt. Jungkook scarred her memories forever with his presence and she was so confused on what it meant. He could see the way she shifted and looked away as if trying to push reality away but face it all the same. “I hurt you a lot. I’m so sorry—if I—if I could do it all over again, I’d do it better.”

“How could it have been better?” Belle shook her head. “We met when my brother owed you a debt.”

Jungkook raised his shoulders. “Maybe we’d have met at your boutique.” He attempted to smile a little at the thought of just walking into that boutique and falling in love the normal way. The happy way. “I’d have flirted with you a lot and you’d roll your eyes at me. We’d travel together to Paris or Tokyo, explore the things we love and eat ice-cream until our stomachs ached.” A tiny chuckle passed through his lips.

Belle had to suck in her trembling bottom lip as tears began escaping down her cheeks. “And?”

“We’d get married…properly. Away from my family, we’d relax somewhere at a beach.” The visions in his mind played without any effort causing his eyes to flood knowing it was all an impossible dream now. “We’d have children…we’d love them so much, Belle—”

She couldn’t hold in the sobs that shook through her body. At the very mention of children, Belle felt a tingle under the skin of her belly, memories of the aches still lingering. “Why didn’t you just take the money?”

“What?” He whispered.

“Why didn’t you just take the money? And don’t tell me it was because of business or keeping up appearances. Why? Why me?”

The ever burning question. Even the interrogators asked them the question. What was the motive to taking in Miss Kim? A lot of people owed you debts. Jungkook only answered with a vague, menial answer that had no real connection to his deeds as a boss.

“It was—it was just an impulse…”

Belle’s expression hardened even though her eyes still looked so vulnerable and broken. “An impulse?” Her voice was small and meek. “That’s it?”

“I didn’t think you’d—say yes.”

Saying it to Hoseok was easy. Saying it to Belle felt evil. Jungkook noticed the darkness clouding over her beautiful features, a mixture of heartbreak and pure rage.

“You put my brother’s life on the line and you thought I wasn’t going to say yes?” Belle winced, tone rising back to its original power. A harsh slap of reality learning that one of the most traumatizing experiences of her life happened because one man had an impulse decision to use his power over her.

“Belle, it was years ago—”

“So why am I still getting nightmares about it?!” She shrieked leaving a tense silence to plunge into the room while her voice still echoed through the walls a little. “W-why h-haven’t I stopped seeing t-that mansion every time I close my eyes? Wh-why do I wake u-up scared that I’m still in that room w-while they watch—” Belle let out a loud, trembling breath closing her eyes. Tears rolled down her cheeks, dripping to her chest from her jawline as she hugged herself tightly.

Jungkook stammered, swallowing down the painful lump in his throat as he attempted to keep his composure. “You didn’t have to come and see me.” He whispered.

“I wanted you to see me.” Belle sniffled shakily. “Staying away from you doesn’t help because you could always push it out. I can’t—I can’t push it out because it’s inside me.”

“You think all this has been easy for me? That I just pushed it out?” Jungkook shook his head with a pained expression as their gazes met again. “Yeah our first meeting was an impulse but that didn’t mean it was always like that. I stopped a lot of contact with my family when you told me you were pregnant. That letter was meant to be the last thing I said to my parents before we left.”

Belle wanted to argue that he just started getting sympathetic after her pregnancy but she would be a hypocrite. Even she felt softened knowing a child was growing inside her. “You wanted to kill the mayor too, Jungkook, how long would that have taken?”

“Overnight if it meant I’d be escaping somewhere with you.” Jungkook spoke without hesitation, still remembering all the plans he had in place for their move.

“But I would’ve lost the baby anyway.” She smiled sadly. “It was natural causes.”

The male took a few careful steps forward, trying not to intimidate her but hopefully close a little more distance between them. “I didn’t just do it for the baby, Belle.” Jungkook sighed. “I did it cause I love you…but I knew we couldn’t be happy if we were at that mansion and I was still running the cartel.”

Belle sniffled. “I wish you didn’t love me.” Her chin trembled, her body tired of brewing more sobs as tears filled her eyes again. “I wish I didn’t love you. Maybe all this would be easier.”

“When has it ever been easy between us?”

“That’s the problem.” She pressed her lips together. “Love shouldn’t be this difficult. Maybe sometimes but—every single day wondering whether what you’re feeling is real…or worrying that something terrible is going to happen if I stay with you for too long.” Features contorted in pain as she stumbled on her feet a little.

Jungkook’s inhibitions banished immediately seeing her trip slightly, rushing to her side and gently holding onto her arm. Before he could say anything, he felt Belle rest her head on his chest. A burst of butterflies soared across his belly having that familiar smell touch his nostrils and the warmth of her body radiating onto his cold bare skin.

They didn’t say a single word as Jungkook properly wrapped his arms around her body, fingers brushing through her soft hair. Her sobs were quiet but her body still trembled and his embraced tightened a little. As if praying that all of her pain could be transferred to him so she did not have to suffer through it all.

Belle should have pulled away the moment he touched her but the warmth was too much. Her body felt heavy against his, melting onto his skin almost like they could join as one. Maybe that could repair some of the damage. Breathing became steady as she allowed herself to relax. A protective part of her still tried ensure she was not too vulnerable but another part said it was too late.

In this particular weakened moment, she was his and he was hers.

15 unread messages.

Namjoon: How did it go? Are you good?

Namjoon: Taehyung said you didn’t come home last night.

Namjoon: Belle?

Namjoon: I don’t want to have to track you down.

Namjoon: Please tell me if you’re okay.

Namjoon: Yoongi and Taehyung found out, I’m sorry.

Belle: I’m okay.

Namjoon: Jesus, don’t scare me like that.

Namjoon: Where are you?

Belle: I’m still at Jungkooks’ place.

Namjoon: Okay. Is everything alright?

Belle: I don’t know.

Namjoon: What do you mean? Did he hurt you?

Belle: No.

Namjoon: Just tell me what happened.

Namjoon: Look I’m not Yoongi or Taehyung. I won’t get mad, alright? You can tell me.

Belle: I slept with him.

Namjoon: Okay that’s fine.

Belle: No it’s not.

Namjoon: Did he hurt you or force you or anything?

Belle: No, no it was consensual.

Namjoon: Then I don’t see an issue.

Belle: How?

Namjoon: Considering he’s a former drug lord, I expected far worse things done to you then you two just consensually having sex.

Belle: Are they really angry?

Namjoon: I’ll handle Yoongi and Angel’s handling Taehyung. They’re grown men, they’ll get over it.

Namjoon: Just come back up again.

Belle: Okay. Thank you, Joon.

Namjoon: Anytime.

Belle let out a sigh, chest falling a little as she hugged her phone for a moment before placing it on the nightstand. Eyes scanned the ceiling, a few brownish stains here and there but nothing far too putrid. Her old apartment usually had those stains after a storm. She felt Jungkook shift a little, his arm still resting over her body while his face buried into her neck. It was so easy allowing the warmth to coat their little bubble.

Except it was not a bubble of theatrics. She was not pretending to be Mrs. Jeon anymore. She was a fashion designer with her boutique and Jungkook was a regular man trying to get by in the city. They were two normal people with no real threat to be together but they were here.

The ache between her legs still pulsed a little when she remembered the night before.

The very minute she resorted to hugging him, Belle knew it was going to be difficult to turn back from it. Deep recesses of her mind surfacing up to whisper in her ear that it would be okay just this once.

To feel him again.

To have his head between her legs at this moment, kissing and nibbling on all her sensitive nub while his fingers pads dug into her thighs. Jungkook took his time. Licking a stripe tantalizingly slow, tasting her juices until it was the only remnant on his tongue. He let out a breath through his nose as his lips wrapped fully around her clit, suckling passionately until her thighs closed up around his head only making him moan.

Belle whined against the vibrations on her aching, sensitive skin as her fingers found themselves knotting in his hair. Chest rising and falling she faced the ceiling. Lower belly burned and tightened as Jungkooks’ movement did not falter, shaking his head a little to jolt more of that head-spinning heat.

…

Bed creaked as Belle straddled him, bouncing at a steady pace while her hands rested on his torso. Moonlight painted her sweat glistening skin through the window. As if the whole city could see her relishing in her own guilty pleasure. Except the guilt was nowhere to be found.

His hand trailed up her abdomen to cup her breasts gently, digging a little into her tender skin to earn a small whimper from the woman. Then he moved up to her neck. Jungkook cupped the side, thumb tracing her bottom lip while the other hand gripped at her shaking hips.

Belle suckled on his digit muffling her moans all the while clenching tightly around his member until it sent shivering tingles up her spine. She hummed in satisfaction as Jungkook groaned at the pressure.

“You feel so good.” He pushed in his thumb a little further watching her slightly drenched curls fall over her face. A smile curled up at the corner of his lips hearing the sinfully loud squelch sounds their thrusts emitted. “So fucking beautiful.” Jungkook whispered. He forced himself to keep his eyes open, wanting to take every second of how she tried to suck on his skin harder every time she dropped down roughly.

“I’m close.” Belle’s words were a little muddled against his thumb. Her thrusts grew desperate and relentless, pussy squelching violently as their incessant moans swirled in the sex scented air.

Bursts of searing heat and unbridled pleasure shook through their limbs, pulsing through her veins as Belle’s movements became sloppy. Jungkook had his head pressed deep against the pillow as his muscles tensed feeling her walls clench around him before he pulled himself out, release spewing out onto his belly. Belle cheekily reached down to touch his reddened member, giggling lightly when he jerked against it.

Jungkook followed with a breathless chuckle of his own as she rested back on his chest, uncaring of how messy they were.

It was the first time they laughed after sex.

Granted it was not much but last night gave her a dreamless sleep. A welcomed type of sleep. They cried, hugged, moaned and laughed. So many sensations all at once was bound to make anyone have such a deep sleep that they do not want to wake up the next day. A wonderful feeling. It would be temporary before her other dreams settle in again but Belle was not going to let them get to her this morning. She wanted to relish in this new, momentary peace.

Jungkook began stirring more, light hum under his breath until he finally opened his eyes to a calming sight. Tired vision still a little blurred but he could always make out her face. “Sleep well?” His voice grumbled despite the smile creeping on his lips.

Belle turned to meet his gaze, mimicking his gentle smile. “Really well.” The curl slowly disappeared from her lips as reality seeped through their comfort. “We can’t see each other anymore. You know that, right?”

He nodded although solemnly. “I know.” Whatever red string they forced themselves to tie around their pinky finger had to separate one day. Even when reluctance settled in. “Like you said, love shouldn’t be as difficult as ours was.” Jungkook shifted so he lay down his back, one arm curled so he could rest his head on top of it.

“I don’t have to leave now though.”

“What, you want more?” Jungkook licked the inside of his cheek as a smirk formed, one of his hands reaching out to gently touch her lower belly.

Belle pushed his hand away with a chuckle. “No…I meant something else.” She pulled the sheets up to cover herself a little, goosebumps forming on her skin when the room brushed a little cold. “Ice-cream. We could get ice-cream.”

A jolt of nostalgia burst through him as he remembered the last time that request was passed between them. Despite expecting a child back then, Jungkook preferred this more knowing Belle was sitting here by her own volition. That was what mattered most. “Yeah…we can get ice-cream.”

Tiny slab of pink and mint down the food line of the city. Belle somehow managed to make his black T-shirt and her sweatpants look strangely put together while he buried himself in his hoodie. They walked inside the cute parlor immediately greeted by a kind boy at the counter.

Making their orders, the couple took their ice-cream cups to a booth at the corner.

Thankfully the parlor was empty since no one bought ice-cream this early in the morning so it would be difficult for them to be spotted.

Journalists eventually grew bored of doing stories on Jungkook and Belle’s ‘tragic love story’ but she knew the moment, a single person saw them, it would be chaos.

“Did you have any trouble these few years?” Jungkook asked feeling a sense of joy in his mouth as the sweet taste touched his tongue.

Belle shrugged lightly. “Apparently there was a hired hitman for a while but he was quickly detained. Then a stalker which lasted for a few months.”

“What did he want?”

“Namjoon found out he was a spy for a gang called Pogpungu Pa.”

“Fucking tongue twister.” Jungkook scoffed. “They wanted a large percentage of my cocaine supplies in exchange for prostitutes.” He waved his spoon. “Told him I didn’t work in that line of business so the Don got pissed.”

“Well he’s also detained. Namjoon’s been very quick in dealing with them. Probably happy to be out on the field again with Yoongi still at his desk.” Belle suckled the remnants of brownie bits from her spoon.

“Why is he at his desk?” His brows furrowed.

“Standard procedure, I guess. Every detective is meant to have a few months of therapy and leave from field work. But I’m pretty sure it’s a new thing that the mayor advised.”

“They’ve been doing a lot of things.”

“A lot of good things.” Belle corrected, narrowing her gaze even though her expression was not completely serious.

Jungkook smiled lightly picking up another small scoop of his ice-cream. “You’ve been doing a lot of good things. The Tokyo fashion week.”

Her eyes almost immediately lit up when the topic was mentioned and Jungkook couldn’t help but feel accomplished that he initiated it. “You knew about that?”

“Saw it in the newspaper. It looked good.”

Belle grinned from ear to ear, eyes shining in the bright lights of the parlor. “Angel helped me with the movement. She wanted to create a shelter for domestic violence victims like her. So I offered to promote it in the fashion shows.”

“Oh yeah Hoseok told me…Taehyung and Angel, they have a kid, right?”

“Yeah…” She giggled lightly. “A little baby daughter.”

“That’s good.” Jungkook nodded with a wide smile. “He’s all okay now?”

“Clean and sober for four years. He—relapsed another time but when they got married and then started trying for children, he never went back again.” Belle murmured still remembering the happiest look on Taehyung’s teary eyed face when he first held his baby. That was all she ever wanted for her brother. True happiness. “I kind have you to thank for that.”

He hummed in disapproval. “Don’t, please—the way I did it was wrong.”

“Yes but everything happens for a reason. I think if that didn’t happen…he might not be here at all.” Belle shook his head. “He also did technically meet Angel in the Sangria House. The only reason we even had her booked was because I met Seokjin at the party with you.”

Strange how time fools you in that way. It makes you feel regretful of the bad things that happened in the past except you could not possibly take them back because it would mean diminishing the good things along with it. Delicate and strange thing time was.

“I would’ve never been free from that place if you didn’t go behind my back.” Jungkook smiled down at the cup. “I’ll always be grateful for that.”

“Speaking of which…how is it like being a normal joe in the city?” Belle asked with a cheeky glint in her eye as she tapped her fingers against the ice-cream cup.

“Apparently you have to pay for grocery bags now.” He waved his spoon around.

“Yes for recycling and it’s been happening for a very long time.” She smiled.

His bottom lip jutted out in a little pout. “Not from what I remember.”

“Since when have you ever shopped for groceries?”

Jungkook scrunched his nose a little poking into the mint chocolate ice cream to pick out the chips. “Since yesterday.” He mumbled. “But I’m happy…” He nodded letting his words linger in their comfortable silence. “Or at least now I can do things that make me happy.”

“You could travel to Tokyo and Paris, eat ice-cream until your stomach aches…” Belle grinned. “You can get married to someone you love dearly and have lots of children. No more deals though.” She raised her index fingers as a warning.

Jungkook laughed. “No more deals, I promise.” He mixed around his melting ice-cream for a bit enjoying the little swirl. “What about you? What’re you going to do?”

“My therapist said I should take some time off from the boutique when I get the chance.” Belle quoted her therapist mostly but she never really thought about the prospect on her own until she discussed it with Yoongi. “Yoongi suggested we could go to Norway to disconnect for a little while.”

“Yoongi…wait, are you two—”

“No, silly. As friends.”

“Ah.”

“You think if I had a boyfriend like Yoongi, I’d sleep with you again?” Belle scoffed even though a smile tugged at her lips.

“Hey I’m pretty tempting.”

“Not that tempting.”

Jungkook scrunched his nose at her before chuckling as he practically slurped on his ice-cream at this point.

The couple sat in silence for a few moments finishing their breakfast desserts, unable to keep smiles off their faces.

“We go our separate ways now, yeah?” He spoke the truth this time. The satisfaction in his belly along with the warmth in his heart softly stating to him that it was time.

Belle smiled, a slight twinge in her chest but nothing compared to the relief brewing inside. A whisper in her ear telling her it was okay. It was okay to move on. “Yeah. No more looking back.”

Throwing their empty ice-cream cups away, the pair walked out of the parlor towards Belle’s car. Jungkook’s apartment was a few minutes’ walk away. She wanted to drive because it made it that little bit easier to go back home immediately. At this point, they both deserved one thing to be easy.

Belle gave him one final smile before climbing into the car and driving away.

Jungkook didn’t wait a second as he turned on his heel and walked back to his apartment.

This was the true final time they saw each other. They would not turn back. There was no need to anymore.

As soon as Jungkook walked into the room, it smelled a whole lot more different than it did the first time. The only smoke emitting was from the pan exuding a warm, delicious scent. Morning sun beaming through the windows making it look a tad bit brighter and the floors almost shone clean now.

“There you are!” Hoseok announced with a grin. “Did you go out for a jog?”

“Yeah…a little bit.” He answered absentmindedly.

A figure with short, black hair stood at the kitchen counter setting some bacon and eggs up on the plate. She looked up and immediately give him a similar bright smile as Hoseok.

“Ah—this is Rosyne.” Hoseok touched the womans’ shoulder. “Rosyne, Jungkook.” He gestured over to the younger male.

The two exchanged greetings before Hoseok invited him over to the kitchen counter to have breakfast. He wanted to tell them that his stomach was a little full from the ice-cream. But it felt so peaceful when he saw the giggles shared between them while eating, random conversations that no one really cared about but it made them smile.

Jungkook stayed still for a moment watching them so easily be vulnerable and happy around each other. “Hey, you guys want to go to Paris?” He sat down on one of the stools.

Rosyne’s eyes widened a little as the request lingered in the air while Hoseok looked amused but taken aback at the same time.

“Why the sudden interest?” Hoseok chuckled, sticking his fork into some scrambled eggs.

He shrugged. “Might be cool to disconnect for a little while.”

“Prison wasn’t disconnecting enough?”

Jungkook nudged his arm with a light scoff. “You know what I mean. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I’ve—always wanted to see the Louvre in real life.” Rosyne raised her shoulders, giving Hoseok an adorable smile.

“Don’t spoil him, Ros.” Hoseok glanced at the both of them for a few moments before letting out a defeated sigh. “We’ll think about it.”

Jungkook did not argue any further after that and began taking careful bites of the breakfast even though it might give him a stomach ache later. The thought of something actually exciting happening this year or the next year made him happy enough to keep going on this new life.

Carefully padding into the apartment, Belle’s footsteps were soft and barely echoed across the walls but there was no use in being discreet. Especially since Yoongi, Taehyung, Namjoon and Angel were all in the sitting room. Bloom sat on the floor completely focused on banging her little drums that Namjoon gifted her on her first birthday.

Once Angel looked her way, everyone else followed suit. Yoongi was the first one to shoot up to his feet and stomp towards the woman.

“What took you so long?” Yoongis’ words sounded more like pleading than anger. “Are you hurt?” Eyes frantically examined her body until his gaze darkened as he stopped at her neck.

Belle hovered her hand over the patch of skin that definitely had a few purpling marks scattered but she kept a calm expression. “Everything’s fine, okay? Nothing happened.”

“No something happened.”

“Yoongi, fuck off.” Namjoon grabbed his shoulder and led him to the side. “Good to have you back in one piece, B.”

As the two men sat near the paneled windows muttering a few things to each other, Belle caught another figure coming towards her from the corner of her eye. She took a deep breath keeping her gaze on her brother.

Taehyung looked so much taller now. Loose emerald shirt with golden vectors as opposed to the old black hoodies, his eyes were a little darkened from exhaustion but this time it was to take care of his baby rather than an accidental bender. The serious expression on his face added more to the fact that Belle had her older brother back. He was sturdy in his appearance and confident in his stance. The look of a man who had gone through a tunnel of hell and found happiness at the end of the trail.

“How’d it go?” He asked.

“Pretty civil…” Belle nodded, playing with her fingers a little. “…considering the circumstances.”

Taehyung hummed in approval. “That’s good. And that?” He waved his index finger across his own bare neck while looking at hers. “Good or bad?”

“Good.” She smiled faintly. “Really good.”

He grimaced a little. “Gross.”

“Shut up.”

Taehyung could not seem to keep his serious expression as a light chuckle broke out of him, shifting on his spot to loosen up. “But—no more, right? We’re gonna try to get back up again? Start over?” He would be the last person to ever judge Belle for her impulses. What he did know is that the impulses were not meant to be a constant.

Belle did not hesitate to nod. “I uh—I wanted to go to Norway. With Yoongi…” She glanced over to the side seeing Yoongi give her a more apologetic look which the woman smiled in response. “And maybe you guys too? Get away from the city for a while.” She shrugged. “Might even give me inspiration on the new line.”

He thought on the idea for a moment but quickly had a wide grin on his lips. “Angel’s been talking about going on a holiday. We could talk about it over breakfast.”

“Let me just go freshen up.” Belle patted him on the shoulder before making her up the top level of the apartment to her bedroom.

Being the owner of a prestigious boutique came with its perks when she managed to get a big enough apartment for three people including safety for children. It was in the highly populated areas of the city which is meant to be the best area for the position they were in. With Angel’s first husband and Belle’s connection to the Jeon Cartel, the more witnesses around them, the better.

Walking into her bedroom, Belle had one thing in mind before going to shower as she opened her walk-in closet. On the top shelves a box had been hidden under some folded sheets. She reached out and pulled it towards her feeling the light trickle of dust flow through the air making her sneeze.

Sniffling a little she brought the brown box and sat down on the bed with it. Belle paused for a moment, a very light tinge of dread brushing through her but there was a strength that seemed to power through it. Taking a deep breath she clicked open the box. Two tiny yellow shoes on the right hand side causing her to let out a shaky sigh, smiling a little as a few tears filled her eyes.

Belle held the shoes gently, hugging them to her chest before placing them on her lap. Then her eyes moved from the bracelet to the piece of folded paper. The warmth in her belly soared again taking the letter, unfolding to reveal the heavy promise scratched across the surface. The promise that kept her up at night for this many years. How much words could impact a mind was both fascinating and terrifying.

No more though. It was time. Something her therapist said to her in one session Belle would never forget.

It’s never about one solid destination of healing. You will never know exactly when you were healed. All you can know is when you decide to start or keep healing. That is what’s important. After that, everything will flow by you…in the future, it will all seem like a dream. But you’ll feel so proud of yourself when you look back, Belle. Even more proud than I am of you now. You’ve done so well and I hope you’ll keep healing.

Belle placed her fingers at the top of the letter and ripped it half, letting out a deep of relief as she put them together, ripping it again. Smaller and smaller the pieces became breaking off like petals from the already withering flowers in her heart. A smile widened on her lips as she let out something in the mixture of a chuckle and a sob, tears freely leaving her eyes. Teeny tiny pieces piled on the bed. Helping to remind her that they were just words after all.

With steady hands she gathered them together and threw it into the bin under her nightstand.

Then Belle took the yellow shoes and walked to the living room.

The group were already settling around the kitchen counter when she arrived. Angel had Bloom in a high chair feeding her some custard looking mush which she seemed to enjoy though slightly confused by the taste.

Belle walked over to where the child was and gently placed the yellow shoes on her socked feet. She could not help but grin seeing how it fit perfectly. Everything happens for a reason.

“Those are beautiful.” Angel gently touched the soft fabric. “Did you make them?”

“I got them from the market years ago.” She softly brushed through Blooms’ thin dark hair as the child tried to peek at what her aunt put on her feet.

“We were just talking about the trip to Norway.” Taehyung spoke up leaning against the counter next to Angel.

“Yeah, why was I not invited?” Namjoon pouted a little.

Belle stammered, chuckling lightly. “It was Yoongi’s suggestion…we can all go together. I thought you wanted to do field work for the rest of the year.”

“Still would’ve liked to be included.”

Bloom squeaked in response to Namjoon’s mumble, bouncing up and down her seat.

“Might need a babysitter if Taehyung wants to get laid.” Yoongi mused.

“Ah, language.” Angel covered Blooms’ ears but the baby only grinned wide looking at Yoongi.

“She’s not going to know what it means.”

“Listen, we’ll go together.” Belle silenced the group for a moment. “Namjoon forgets to take breaks from work anyway so it’d be a good way to force him out somewhere relaxing.”

“Norway does have a low crime rate.” Taehyung spoke.

“So it’s settled. We’re going to Norway and forget about our problems for a month.” Angel announced glancing at each one of them for a nod of approval.

Belle grinned seeing the group dive into their conversations about what to do in Norway and what hotels to book or the sights to see. No worries of any impending problem or event that could ruin everything. It was just peace in the loudest way possible. All you can know is when you decide to start or keep healing. That is what’s important.

She broke for her family once.

Now she was going to keep healing for it too.

<< PREV CHAP

#jungkook #jungkook imagines #bts imagines #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts fanfiction #jungkook mafia au #bts mafia au

272 notes · View notes

sup-hoes-its-me · 3 years

Text

Happy (Naruto x Reader)

Request: "I was thinking of something that Naruto and Reader have been best friends for a long time, and one day she gets hurt on a mission, and he cries, but in the end everything ends well."

A/N: request for @writing-x-reader sorry it took so long, end of the semester has been very difficult. Also my first naruto fic. We will see how it goes. Hope I did your request justice! Not proof read at all, sorry about that.

Word count: 3000

_____

Jeez, how was it that someone like her managed to meet someone as perfect as him? It felt surreal.

She wanted to kiss him. She felt herself leaning forward just slightly, feeling her heart rate beat swiftly in her chest at the sight of his tired eyes laying beside her. He blew out steady breaths through his lips, and she thought they looked more kissable than ever before. He was such a sweet guy, so handsome and kind and brave, and everything in between. She wanted him to be completely hers, but that wasn’t happening.

So she laid back down beside him on the plush grass and sighed.

Could they ever be anything more than friends? It seemed impossible. He had that long time crush on Sakura, for one. But he was also so dumb when it came to love and all those things. He couldn’t get her hints, and she was too shy to just tell him outright. It just seemed like a hopeless dream to think they would ever date.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“You got a piece of something stuck in your hair.” Her hands ran to touch the strands that hung around her head, and he just laughed with a shake of his head. “Let me get it,” he told her softly, reaching out to take a piece of leaf from her hair. She felt her cheeks begin to heat up at his touch, and his kindness, and the way he was looking at her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.

"Thanks."

"You know, you should wear your hair down more often. It looks really nice on you. I like it," the blond commented, his head propped up in his hand, hair falling into his face and shading over his eyes. He had that kind smile across his face, whiskers and all just adding to the look she adored.

Her cheeks grew warmer at his words and she opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. Her nerves had silenced her. Instead, she simply shook her head and lowered her eyes, too bashful to maintain the eye contact.

"You- You're beautiful, you know? You really shouldn't be so shy."

Her heart raced at his words, and Y/N felt herself falling into a state of confusion and frustration. How could he say those things so casually, when to her it felt like he was playing with her entire heart in his hands? He was just so nice, and he always knew the right thing to say to make her like him even more, even deeper than she realized.

"Naruto..."

He laughed, leaning back against the grass and kicking one leg over the other. "What? Just being honest. Thought girls liked compliments?"

"No, no, I do. Thank you. I really should build confidence but it's not as easy as you think."

It was quiet for a moment, and she took that as her chance to get away, to clear her head and sort through all these conflicting thoughts.

Quickly, she gathered herself up and stood from the grass. She couldn’t be here anymore. She felt too many conflicting emotions running through her mind. She just wanted to be with him, but that was impossible. It made her stomach turn at the thought, and she just needed to get away, run as far as she could so she could be alone with her embarrassing crush on the hero of the leaf.

“I’ve got to go, Naruto.”

“Aw, really? It was so much fun just chilling here with you.”

He was having a good time? Of course he was, they were best friends. They wouldn't be friends if he didn't have a fun time when she was around. She shook her head softly to drown out her loud thoughts. “I’ll see you on our mission tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yep. See you.”

“Bye.”

She walked off with heat in her cheeks and heart resting upon her sleeve. She was just so stupid. Crushing on someone so unattainable. The next opportunity she got to confess to him, she would. Just get it done instead of obsessively thinking about it all the time. It was driving her insane, and she needed to fix the situation. Whatever happened, she just hoped they remained friends afterwards.

He was a sweet guy, he would most likely stay her friend and just forget about everything, right?

Just stop thinking about it all, she scolded herself. It wqould only make her more nervous, or even avoid confessing at all. What had to be done, would be done. Whether they stayed the same afterwards or not would be a different story, and she could only hope for the best.

_______

The blade came down upon Y/N with enough strength to pierce her skin and run all the way down her chest, tearing through the skin and some muscle as it did so. She cried out, so surprised by the attack that her eyes widened and she had to do a double take. That man was behind her just a second ago, how did he get so close so fast? She didn’t know. All she knew was that blood was soaking deep into her tunic.

If she had the strength left in her lungs, she would call out for her teammate, for Ino, to come and help her. She was a medical nin, right? But her chest ached, and the most she could get from her lips was a mere whisper.

Everything hurt. Her body burned like fire had touched it, and her skin was hot and sticky to the touch.

She laid back on the ground, without any hope. Someone would get to her when they finished whatever they were doing, she just had to wait. It couldn’t be long.

And it wasn’t.

Naruto stood above her in an instant, and he was quick to fall to his knees at her side. His hands anxiously hovered over the long cut from the knife, and if she were seeing correct, they were shaking fiercely. The strong and brave Naruto brought to a quivering state? She couldn’t believe it. Maybe if he had found Sakura lying here instead, she could understand, but not her. She wasn’t anything special.

“Y/N? Y/N? Are you alright?” he asked, leaning in closer to her face.

“I'll be okay,” she whispered, reaching her hand out to latch onto one of his. He grabbed up her hand the second he saw her struggle, and cradled it within his own, squeezing maybe a little too hard for comfort, but she could definitely manage. She could feel the heart radiating from his warm hands into her dripping cold ones. A small smile crossed her lips at the feeling, holding his hands. It was nice.

“Y/N, please. Ino- I don’t know where Ino went. Just keep trying for a little longer,” he pleaded,and at this point, she noticed the tears that were brimming his eyes, sliding down his cheeks so silently, she probably wouldn’t notice them any other time if she weren’t so entranced by his features through the hazy lens. “Please, don’t die.”

“I-I don’t know, Naruto.”

“Yes, you do know! Don’t just give up , please! Don’t give up for me, okay?” he exclaimed, and she winced at the height of his voice. Quickly, the boy hushed down, collapsing down at her side from all the sadness seeping into his body. “You just can’t die. I need you,” he whimpered, wiping away at his tears with his shoulder.

“Naruto-”

“I know you’re my best friend, and I know you don’t see me this way, but I love you, Y/N. I’ve felt that way for the longest time,” he confessed, and she felt her heart pick up in her chest, skipping a beat at the sudden confession. He loved her. Naruto Uzumaki, the boy of her dreams, was in love with her. She was high on the endorphins running through her body, and a soft smile lifted on her face. He only clutched at her hands harder, tears continuing to drip heavily down his cheeks. “You are just so perfect. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She knew she didn’t have much time left. She was slipping across the line of consciousness, and she just wanted to get in one more thought before drifting to sleep for a while.

“I-I love you, too, Naruto.”

“Okay, so live! You have to now. We have to go on dates and everything! Come on, Y/N, please!” he cried, more hysterical now than ever. She sighed, knowing that there was nothing she could do to mend away those painful tears. She was dying right here in front of him and there was nothing anyone could do. They just had to wait until Ino found them and hopefully heal her enough that she could live. It was worth a shot.

And if she died? So be it. She was content. In her last moments, she felt Naruto’s love completely fill her heart and mind. That was the most she could hope for in a situation like this, being surrounded by someone who cares about you so immensely it hurts. She squeezed his hands gently, as she felt her eyes closing. He pleaded with her once again, but to no avail, she was out like a light.

He kept on crying, harder now that she was gone and he couldn’t even see her eyes anymore, or hear another word leave her mouth. He felt like everything was coming crashing down on him at once. His poor friend was lying in front of his dying, and he couldn’t do anything to help her besides leaving the body alone to look for Ino, or just wait. He wasn’t too found of the thought of abandoning her body out here in the woods like that.

He clutched at her cold hand in his shaky ones, trying to feel some comfort in the skin to skin touch. Anything to bring her back to him and make him feel like things were okay again.

Ino rushed out of the forest as fast as she could after hearing Naruto call her name a couple times out in the open. Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her. Y/N looked dead. Her body was so covered in blood she couldn’t make out an inch of her shirt that wasn’t soaked in it.

“What happened to Y/N?”

“I don’t even know. One second she was fine and the next she looked like this!” Naruto cried as Ino crouched one the other side of her body. Immediately, she set to work healing, and thankfully, there was enough chakra flowing through the girl’s body to signal a swift recovery. Ino wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen Naruto a blubbering mess the way he was right now. He was crying and sobbing, and shaking like a poor little leaf. The blond rightfully felt terrible for not being there sooner.

“Naruto, what’s wrong? Y/N is going to be fine, I promise.”

“I couldn’t even protect her. I love her so much, and I let this happen to her. What sort of friend does that make me?” he cried, trying desperately to wipe the tears from his eyes so Ino couldn’t see anymore. Guess it doesn’t matter though, does it?

“You love her?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, she definitely loves you, too,” Ino sighed, continuing her work. She could feel Y/N getting better with every second that passed by, and she hoped there wouldn’t be any permanent damage. There was no way to tell right now, so she would just wait.

Naruto’s brows perked, and he asked, “What? How do you know?”

“She’s told me. Like, a bunch of times.”

Naruto sat back, falling flat on his butt in surprise. Y/N loved him? For a while? She liked him enough to divulge in her crush to friends? How did he never notice? They were best friends, he was around her almost all the time. How could she keep something like that a secret? He thought he’d made it more than obvious that he had a crush on her, but he guessed she never noticed that either.

He was confused, rightfully so. Finding out your friend has a crush on is weird enough, but it being requited is a completely different thing. What would happen after this? Would they date? Was that even an option? Would she even want to? Maybe when she said I love you, she meant it as a friend. That could be it.

He really just couldn’t make up his mind.

He would just have to wait until they got home, when she was awake and sound of mind, before they could figure out what was going on between them. The waiting would kill him, he was sure of it. But it had to be done.

______

When they arrived back at the village, Y/N was taken to the infirmary immediately. She was hooked up to machines and laid down in a white, sterile room away from Naruto’s prying eyes. Rightfully so, he was anxious to see her. They had just confessed their love to each other, what else could be more pressing than that?

The boy walked around in spiraling circles through the waiting room awaiting the doctor to peek her head in and inform him of her condition. And she did, after a couple hours. She walked into the room and told him it was time to go and visit her, she would be waking up any time now.

She lay still in the bed, only soft breaths bringing her chest to rise and fall. He collapsed into the seat beside her bed and reached out, taking a hold of her hand and squeezing it. Maybe if he continued to squeeze her hand, she would wake up sooner, he thought. He needed to see her, to hear her voice, anything. Just seeing her laying in this bed was driving him insane. There was too much to talk about.

And when her eyes started to open, he found himself practically jumping up from his chair to be closer to her. She groaned, lifting her other hand to rub at her tired eyes.

“Y/N?”

“Naruto?” she asked in her sleepy state, confused as to why he would be there of all people. She turned her head to see the ball of sunshine sitting beside her, holding her hand even, and staring her right in the eyes. She felt heat begin to fill her cheeks. Was he that excited to make sure she was okay?

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried about you.”

“I-I’m sorry for making you worry so much,” she found herself mumbling the first thought that came to her mind, no matter how silly it may have been.

He clutched at her hand, shaking his head furiously at what she had just said. “Stop! Don’t say sorry! It’s my fault for not protecting a teammate out there.” It wasn’t his responsibility to make sure she was okay the entire time, he had other priorities of course. She sighed, shaking her head, but not arguing with him.

"You're right. But you did help me out when I was down and I appreciate that."

"Of course! It's what a good guy does," he chirped, but his mind was obviously on something else that they had avoided so far in their conversation. His eyes trailed to the table beside her, not wanting to look her in the eyes as he brought it up. "About what we said back there."

"Yeah, the confessions…"

He asked, doubt just now creeping up in the back of his mind, "You meant it, right?" She was in distress. It could have been a love confession out of desperation. He was definitely over thinking things, something he rarely did. He was so straightforward. Just calm down, he told himself.

"I meant what I said. I hope you meant everything you said too," she told him, still feeling that heat creeping up her neck and ears now. So embarrassing.

"You bet I did! I'm so happy you like me back! I've liked you for so long, Y/N."

"So that means we can go on dates like you said? Ramen dates, maybe?"

"Ooohh, Ichiraku dates. Sounds so good."

He was happier than he ever felt before, high off life and love and just so much emotion it was bubbling out. He smiled at his new found girlfriend, just watching as she went on about cute date ideas they could go on, her eyes lighting up and her lips curled up in a sweet smile he loved.

Times were good. So freaking good.

#naruto x reader #naruto uzumaki x reader #naruto imagine #naruto oneshot #naruto #naruto shippuden #request #writing #mine #one shot #x reader #if this isnt the best quality im sorry

142 notes · View notes