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#this has been done before i think
atrustfulplace · 2 months
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imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.
this is what happened to bilbo baggins
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Martin to Jon: do you think we love each other in every universe?
The other universe:
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vet-and-wild · 22 days
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I always get really annoyed when people complain that saying some dinosaurs had feathers makes them less "scary". First of all, they're real animals, not monsters. No one is making them look like anything, we're just getting better at determining what they actually looked like when they were alive.
But I guess I can understand.
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Animals with feathers
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Really don't look
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Particularly
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Intimidating
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Not
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Even
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A
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Little
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Bit
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intotheelliwoods · 6 months
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Here it is, the 2 Arms Left Collaboration Comic!
Big thank you to everyone who participated! This was such a cool project! There was so much talent put into this thing and I am amazed by the results
Enjoy the finished product everyone!
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The wonderful artists, in order of their panels appearance, go check them out!!
To help count without eyes getting lost, the people highlighted in orange were a part of the black and white flashback sequence!
1 @tangledinink
2 @roquog
3 @sunnyyyteaaa Sun!
4 @apollo-not-in-space
5 @wraenata
6 @abbeyofcyn
7 @dianagj-art
8 @rbtlvr
9 @vangh17a
10 @avidlylivid
11 @butterfilledpockets
12 @thegunnsara
13 @manga-toons
14 @idiot-mushroom
15 @centerofleesmind
16 @sunnyyyteaaa Tea!
17 @volcanicsleep
18 @phykoha
19 @princesskkfish
20 @cokowiii
21 @y0unginhumans
22 @bluesgras
23 @karmacomesaround
24 @heckitall
25 @sad-leon
26 @blue-star-doodles
27 @teainthesnow
28 @cartoonhostage
29 @hatchi-matchii
30 @last-hourglass
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shriika · 2 months
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something is happening at the stillwater....
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Dealer: j got this new strain 💯 it’s called, “thanergy link to your daughters longsword” 😳🔥 gonna be blitzed off your titz
Me: whatever man I don’t feel shit
5 minutes later: dude I swear I saw some bitch in a hazmat suit at the bottom of that glass coffin
My girl Harrow, pacing: the eggs you gave me all died and you lied to me
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knifearo · 5 months
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“do you like girls or boys?” i don’t actually! thank you for asking :D
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stil-lindigo · 2 years
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you take that back right now, ed
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dykealloy · 3 months
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leverage-ot3 · 1 year
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the found family trope is inherently queer and you can’t change my mind
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wriothesleybear · 3 days
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Imagine giving your boyfriend, Dr. Ratio a rubber duck that looks like him as a joke. He does make a comment saying it's idiotic, but he actually keeps it in his bathtub. Every time he looks at it while he's bathing, it makes him feel a warmth in his chest because it's a personalized gift you got just for him. You notice it hanging on the side of the tub the next time you bathe with him and tease him for it. "Hm. I guess it wasn't that idiotic of a present since you kept it in one of your most sacred places." He just ignores your teasing and continues reading his book.
The next time you two decided to take a bath together to relax, you notice another rubber duckie next to the one you gifted him and it looks just like you. You make a comment on it and he's nonchalant about it. His reasoning being "It seemed fitting that you should have one as well since we usually bathe together". All you can do is blush, taken by surprise from his words. He notices this and smirks. "What's wrong dear? Too shy to give one of your teasing remark?" All you can do is look away, moving back to lay on his chest. You quietly say, "It's cute." He slightly chuckles, a fond look graces his features. He wraps his arm around you, bringing you closer into him and rests his face into your hair, leaving a faint kiss to the crown of your head.
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bidisastersanji · 2 months
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Canon-ish AU where by some weird misalignment of stars Sanji is the only one on the crew who doesn’t know the ship cat that he can’t always find is actually Zoro who sometimes shapeshifts into that form.
From Zoro’s perspective the cook is really weird because sometimes he’ll feed him some nice fish cuts and cuddle and pet him and let him nap on/near him, tell him about his day in a soft, pleasant voice- and then the next moment (he doesn’t have enough brain cells to réalise the difference in treatment is linked to what form he’s in) he’s being kicked and he’s « in the way » for napping in the galley and stealing food from the kitchen and called a « shitty marimo ».
Make up your fucking mind curly 😤( He must be some kind of tsundere or something, he thinks. Well, he’ll come around someday. Zoro is a patient man)
So Zoro is annoyed at Sanji for his hot and cold treatment and Sanji doesn’t understand why Zoro just doesn’t ever learn not to do certain things and sometimes acts weird and a bit affectionate, gets more tactile (and also wonders where the cute little kitty disappears to)
Meanwhile Nami, Robin and Usopp figured out that Sanji for some goddamn reason doesn’t know the cat is also Zoro and are biding their time and giggling whenever they see Sanji pet Zoro on his lap, giving each other knowing smiles.
More and more quid pro quos about Zoro and his cat form pile up- making it funnier and funnier that Sanji hasn’t made the connection, until one day Zoro turns into his human form in the middle of a nap on Sanji’s lap and Sanji suddenly has a lap full of swordsman with his head nestled in his neck.
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flowergrenades · 8 months
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#weirdly, it makes so much sense
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crazylittlejester · 7 days
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Time: *sighs* We can’t manipulate, mansplain, malewife our way out of this one, Captain
Warriors: *loosening his scarf just a bit* Manwhore it is
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spielzeugkaiser · 6 months
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The first one! Prompt was by anon; Pierre Auguste Cot - Springtime. I'm still open for suggestions which to do next :)
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Full Baby Back Guarantee Not Included (dp x dc)
“Look, lady. It was a joke, ok? I don’t actually want your newborn baby,” Danny said as he held up his hands trying to back away from the woman with a bundle of blankets in her arms.
“We made a deal, you can’t back out now,”  The woman said as she narrowed her eyes at him. “Your kind can’t break their words.”
“My kind?” Danny exclaimed incredulously, because what the hell was she on. “Lady, you are delusional.”
Then his eyes caught on the awkward way the woman was holding onto the bundle and he frowned.
“Wait a second.” The halfa’s eyes went big. “Is that even your kid?!” his voice turning into a shriek at the end. “Did you kidnap some random child?”
“It’s my sister’s,” the woman cut him off coldly. “She and the father are both dead.” That was pretty awful, Danny thought as he winced. But then she turned to look blankly at him.
“Nobody will look for her.”
Dear skies above, he was supposed to be the ghost here, why was he the one getting chills.
“Holy fuck,” the halfa let out softly. 
He had to get that baby away from that psychopath.
“What is it you want again?” Danny asked faintly.
“Make me the new chief operating officer,” the woman answered.
“What?” The halfa choked out.
“They’re giving the position to Shwartz this monday. You need to make sure that doesn’t happen,” she continued evenly as if she wasn’t currently selling a baby in exchange for a fucking promotion.
“Yeah sure, deal,” Danny answered, eager to get away from her as soon as possible. 
“Give me your word,” she insisted.
“I give my word, I swear,” the halfa said. “Gimme the kid and you’ll get your job.”
The woman looked at him for a second before seemingly being satisfied. 
She extended the bundle of blankets towards him and handed him the swaddle baby. As soon as the kid was in his arms, Danny zipped away, fully intent on never seeing the woman again. He sure as hell was not getting her that promotion. Not that he would’ve been able to, what the hell, lady? At least research better before making a deal for your sister's baby!
Though in retrospect, it was a good thing she hadn't.
As Danny flew over a few buildings, he thanked the ancients the woman hadn’t had any ghost restraining tech, and only the summoning ritual. Which was a thing he had not been aware existed but he he would have to circle back to that because, right now, he had a whole ass baby nestled in his arms.
What the hell was his life.
Danny slowed down the flight once he felt he had put enough distance between them and the psycho and landed on a nice patch of green next to a road. He looked around and took notice that they’d gotten out of whatever that city had been, or at least the more populated part. He gave a quick look for people or cameras around before de-transforming. If he was spotted with a baby in his arms, his human look would help his chance of not getting shot.
The halfa started walking away from the road and towards the green vegetation. Still walking, he took a deep breath before looking down at the baby.
“You ok, kid?” Danny asked softly as their small (so so tiny!) face twitched in their sleep. “Oh you’re sleepy, huh?” he murmured gently. “Sleep tight sweetheart, I’ve got you.”
Then he secured the blankets around the baby again, making sure none of the wind was reaching her. It was probably a her? The blankets were pink but he couldn’t know for sure since the psycho had only called her an it. Danny felt his lips curl. And as the night replayed in his mind, he felt the weight of the situation settle down on him.
Ancients what was he going to do?
He couldn’t pull up in Amity with a baby in his arms and no explanation of how he got her. He’d be arrested for kidnapping, which was technically absolutely what he was doing. But then again he couldn't just give that baby back to her aunt.
“What are you doing here?” came a voice from ahead of him.
Danny startled out of his thoughts to find himself facing an older man in a suit with a severe look on his face. The halfa instinctively brought the baby closer to his chest and the movement drew the older man’s eyes towards it.
Danny could see the realization of what it was he was holding settle and the man's face softened. He sighed deeply as his gaze went back up to meet the halfa’s.
“Despite what the media fancy printing, Wayne manor is not actually an orphanage.”
Danny had no idea what he was talking about so he just stayed silent and did his best not to look like someone who kidnapped babies.
The older man took the silence in stride. “If you need some help, there are programs to help young people in your situation,” he continued delicately.
Danny frowned as he tried to figure out what the guy meant by that before his eyes grew wide. “I’m not her dad!” He cried.
“I see,” the man said evenly as he looked back down at the bundle. Danny held her closer in response. “I see,” the guy repeated with a slight change in his voice.
The two held each other’s gaze for a moment before the older man sighed again. 
“Shall we continue this inside? It is getting windy and we wouldn’t want the little one to suffer, would we?” The man offered in a soothing tone.
Danny hesitated but one look at the kid’s face that had grown pink from the cold decided him.
“Ok,” Danny said. “Lead the way.”
And with that the three of them started  across the grassy lawn.
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