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#this has been the only thing ive been thinking about for the last two hours im so sorry
stevie-petey · 1 day
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ive been feeling a little stug deprived but i cannot for the life of me think of a blurb idea so,, hit me with a blurb you've been wishing to write about stug :3
anon u also stumped me like i KNOW i have blurbs ive been dying to be asked about but suddenly my mind is blank ,,,, pls take this silly thing my brain managed to concoct
enjoy !
"one more loop around the block before i take you home?" steves voice rasps out, husky from lack of use. neither of you have spoke much as he drives the two of you around hawkins. its been at least an hour now; music plays softly throughout the car and the windows are rolled down to let in the early june nights cool breeze.
you lean your head against the passenger seat and listen to freddie mercurys smooth voice as he plays over the speakers. hes become one of your favorite artists thanks to steve. "i dont want to go home just yet."
steve grins, he knew youd say this, and you smile at the knowledge that he knows you so well.
his fingers are wrapped lazily around the steering wheel as he takes a slow turn back towards downtown hawkins. you watch his movements, illuminated by the lamp posts that spill light onto the otherwise dark wooded street. its late, the first monday of june and the last day of your junior year.
it had been steves last day of high school, and all he had wanted to do was spend it with you in his car, driving in circles around your small town.
you close your eyes and allow the moment to seep into your bones. youre in steve harringtons car, there are crickets outside as he drives you around the town the two of you met and grew up in, and youre in the car with the boy that you love and you know that he loves you, too.
"you still with me, angel?"
you hum. "im still here, honey."
"your eyes are closed."
"im enjoying the moment," your eyes remain closed and yet you can feel the smile that steve flashes your way. you can hear it in his voice, you can feel the shift in the air.
the car slows down at one of hawkins only stop lights. steve looks over at you and feels a heavy wave of affection roll over him. youre curled into yourself in the passenger seat, your hair spills over the headrest as you close your eyes, and its rare that he gets to see you so relaxed. "i can take you home if youre tired."
"but i love driving around with you," you mumble, feeling sleep beginning to crawl over you. but steves car is warm and smells like home. "one more loop, please?"
again steve feels affection caress his face when he hears your words. youve only curled further into yourself and your eyes are still closed; steve knows you really are struggling to stay away now. its late, he knows he should get you home soon so you can sleep, yet steve cant bring himself to deny your request.
"one more loop, but then im taking you to bed."
you giggle, happy youve won, but you try to argue some more anyways. no one else has ever been able to match your wit, so you revel in the quips you share with steve. "fine, its the first day of summer. dont be such a grandpa."
steve laughs, his voice is still husky and you can feel it drape over your tired body. "angel, weve got all summer to drive around this stupid town."
weve got all summer.
"promise?"
more crickets chirp and the car begins to drive once more, the stoplight now green. freddie mercury sings about the love of his life and how he doesnt want her to hurt him. your question of a promise joins alongside his pleads, and steve understands.
"i promise." he reaches for your hand and you feel his soft lips press against your palm. hes slow with the kiss, as if hes sealing his promise with it, and your body fizzes at the touch. "now lets get you home."
you bring the hand that hes holding to your face and nuzzle against it, too tired to respond with words. you simply nod your head and keep his hand there as a content sigh escapes you. steve has to bite his lip, scared he'll say the three words that terrify him.
youre everything.
youre his everything.
but steve has all summer to tell you this.
so instead he drives you home, taking the long way just so his hand can rest against the dip of your cheek for an extra few minutes.
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minhosimthings · 1 month
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Sample Session || 18+
Synopsis: In which you ask your boyfriend for a semen sample
Pairings: Sunghoon × fem!reader, non idol au
Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, p in v sex, rough sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex (not for you at all) masturbation (male), spit as lubricant, praise, degradation, swearing, rough dom Sunghoon, sub!reader, reader wears pink lingerie, boob fixation, dirty talk eyyy, collecting semen in that tube because we medical students, mentions of Yunjin from Le Sserafim and Gaeul from IVE
A/N: this is my submission for @deluluriddhi's 500+ followers event which you can find here! Had a shit ton of fun writing this though so here you go babies!
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Being a doctor has its advantages.
You get to help people, you get a shit ton of money (student debt sucks but hey), you get a hot boyfriend, you can correctly pronounce and know the meaning of choledocholithiasis.
Did I mention hot boyfriend?
Park Sunghoon. Possibly the hottest and the only surgeon-in-training you'd ever want to have inside of you all day long.
Of course the walls still speak of the times he railed you in the room where they kept the crp training dolls, but we don't speak about that anymore.
But one of the greatest advantages of having a Park Sunghoon, as you soon found out, was that he proved useful in a quest.
For a particularly awkward thing.
"Sperm samples?" Yunjin gasped, almost spilling her coffee on you, "we have to collect sperm samples?"
"For the last time, yes." Gaeul groaned, massaging her temples, Yunjin had been asking the same thing since the past hour.
"How on earth are we going to get semen samples?" Yunjin asked, turning to you for some reason.
"Alright ladies, time to seduce some men." Gaeul laughed, sipping her frappuccino.
"Y/N already seduced one." Yunjin groaned, deflating her body onto the table, "Hey, get some for us too will you?"
"Number 1, we need to have different samples, and number two how the hell am I gonna ask him?" You quizzed the girls, who looked dumbfounded.
"Maybe..you know." Yunjin began, and you realised she had the same face on as she did whenever she saw the extremely phallic design of the law building at your college, "Just do the oogey-boogey with him."
Gaeul's frappucino can spit out her nose, as she cackled loudly, garnering the attention of many people in the cafe.
"The oogey-boogey YUNJIN WHAT?" Gauel kept laughing, holding her stomach tightly, "Is that your way of saying that Y/N needs to seduce Sunghoon into somehow giving her his semen?" She said, when her laughter died down.
"Absolutely not!" You protested. The idea of seducing your boyfriend was...nice to think of but to actually have a practical session? You would have rather jumped off a cliff.
"Just ask him today, we have a holiday tomorrow, so incase the oogey-boogey indeed does oogey-boogey you have semen! Simple."
Gaeul's frappucino was subjected to being ejected out of her nose again, as she rolled over in fits of laughter.
This wasn't you.
This definetly wasn't you, Sunghoon thought.
His mind was racing at a hundred kilometres per the second, and his bag full of pastries for you was abandoned on the floor as soon as he saw what lay in front of him.
A reward for his hard work today? The thought of what he had done to deserve you was running a lap through his brain. You, in your pretty pink lace, with white trimmings, and pearls on your neck, the ones he bought you of course.
"Well hello there, gorgeous." He said, grabbing your waist in his arms, as he always did when he got back home. But this time, with a different purpose.
"All dressed up for me today?" He quizzed you, placing a kiss at the nape of your neck. It was pathetic how much the simple action made your hole so wet.
Sunghoon toyed with the pretty pink lace of your bra, kissing up and down your collarbone. God had you changed your perfume? It seemed so intoxicating to him. Your hands came to rest on his shoulder, as you nibbled the tip of his ear a bit, which made his dick throb inside his pants.
"Come on." He mumbled through his kisses, lifting you into his arms, making you wrap your legs around his waist, which you did promptly.
The one thing that Sunghoon would have never expected was the various medical equipment that lay on your bed.
"Y/N." He glanced at you suspiciously, putting you down on your feet, "what's all this?"
You awkwardly cleared your throat and rushed over to the bed, picking up a tiny test tube and shoving it in your boyfriend's hands.
"Alright so I have an assignment and I need your help." You said, a bit more seriously than you had wanted to.
"Do you need me to get you pregnant or something?" Sunghoon chuckled, his eyes darkening, "Cause I won't say no."
"Actually it's not that."
"Then what is it, princess?"
"Canihaveyoursemensampleplease." You mumbled, or more properly, to say, rapped.
"Y/N, proper sentences please?"
Sighing heavily to yourself, you gulped and wrapped your arms around Sunghoon again, pressing a chaste, sweet kiss to his pink lips.
"I need a semen sample for an assignment." You mumbled into his ear, albeit a but louder this time. Sunghoon smirked into your neck.
"That's it?" He asked, a cocky smile spreading on his face. His baby, needs a sample from him? He thought it was the most adorable thing ever.
"Yeah...it's fine if you say no though!" You panicked, looking at him with widened eyes. But Sunghoon only chuckled again and raised your chin to his level with his finger.
"How could I say no when you're asking so nicely?" He said, guiding you over to the bed. Kicking off his shoes, Sunghoon settled in nicely between the sheets, while you awkwardly sat at the edge, handing the tube to him.
"Don't want to join me baby?" Sunghoon asked, taking off his belt and his trousers, and pulling you in for a sudden kiss, by grabbing your face with his hands.
"You're a medical student too Hoon, you know I can't." You rolled your eyes at him.
"Alright, but do me a favour. Hold the tube in place for me will you?" He handed the tube back to you, and you bit your lip. Holding it in place. In other words, bending over to make Hoon see your cleavage.
"If that's what'll get you off, then fine." You grumbled, although your panties were getting wetter by the second at the idea.
Sunghoon leaned against the bedframe, relaxing into the sheets, holding his throbbing cock with one hand. He began to jerk off hard, his hand rising to the tip of the cock, where more fat drops of precum accumulate, feeling the alcohol of your perfume take over the body,
"that what you want, princess?” he spits on his cock and starts jerking off again while he speaks his hand doesn't stop, slow movements, up and down as if he wanted to feel the familiar sensation of your walls clenched around him. He could feel a knot forming in his stomach, at the sight of seeing your tits, lined perfectly in your lingerie. The sight of it made him go mental.
His hand never abandons his cock, squeezing, going up and down without losing rhythm. Sunghoon began to feel signs of orgasm so he reduced the speed of his hand, waiting for what will come next.
Sunghoon thinks while squeezing his cock tightly, holding by the base his fingers massage the balls, he climbs his hand slowly and passes his thumb over the head of the cock dripping precum, spreading and with his eyes glazed, little moans escaping his lips. Sunghoon sits more centered on the bed, drops of sweat run down his hair, dripping and turning a trail around his neck, chest and belly, his body is so sensitive to touch that the drops of water seem to scratch while the sheets seem to hug him.
"Fuck—im close." He whimpered, eyes rolling back as the knot in his stomach broke and the next moment, his hand was drenched in cum, and you were holding a test tube filled with what you needed.
"Shit" Sunghoon fell back on the bed, while you happily inserted the semen into your carrier so that it stayed safe. You crawled promptly into the bed with him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Thank you so much Hoonie, I had no idea how I was going to get the-"
"What about my payment princess?" Sunghoon's whispered growl in your ear left you crumbling.
His touch left your skin burning in desire for more and before you could even catch a breath his hands grabbed your legs and you find yourself wrapped around his waist. Your hair was soft between his fingers and as he gently pulled it, you let out a little groan. 
"Hoonie–" you whimpered, feeling a blush creep up to your cheeks.
He loved seeing you like that, confused, embarrassed, submissive, and highly aroused. Holding your gaze for another moment, he rubbed his hand over your wet folds, gathering your slick on his palm. When he finally bent a finger and slipped it between your lower lips, he watched you closely, and as a soft squelching sound rang in his ears, he saw you writhing in discomfort, frowning slightly, but it made him smile at you, and your embarrassment was quickly forgotten.
Holding your waist firmly, Sunghoon flipped you over onto the bed with a rough thump, making you moan at the very sensation of his biceps touching your body.
"So wet for me already?" Sunghoon chuckled, removing your panties slowly, "You're so adorable."
"Shut up." You groaned, feeling embarrased again, "Hoonie, we ran out of condoms, maybe we should-"
"You're on birth control right?" Sunghoon pressed a kiss to your neck, making you mewl when his tip slightly touched your pussy, "You're not leaving this bed until the sheets are either drenched or until you've fainted."
His voice was rough as he lined himself up with your entrance as you panted in anticipation, fingers digging into his back when he finally entered you, moaning deeply at the feeling of your walls starting to clench around him.
The stretch when he enters you burns gloriously, your mouth falling open in a perfect, round ‘O’ of ecstasy. Sunghoon fills you slowly, burying himself to the hilt, so deep that you can practically feel him rearranging your insides.
“That’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.” he praises.
Discomposed, his voice thickens, rounding the vowels and blurring the ends of his words. Sunghoon rocks his hips one shallow thrust striking a spot inside you that has your vision whiting out, ecstasy buzzing in your heavy limbs.
“That felt good, huh? Yeah. I know, I know,” he soothes, swallowing your whines with wet, deliberate kisses, tongue sweeping every corner of your mouth and teeth grazing your lips.
Your noises grew louder, as did the wet squelching sounds as your pussy fluttered around him, muscles clenching, a burning warmth gathering inside you. You sank your nails into the old wood, holding on for dear life as his pelvis smacked against your cushioned ass in quick succession.
 “Can’t you handle it, baby?” Sunghoon looked at you with pity, "Is it too much for your pathetic pussy?"
“I can-fuck, I can—handle it.” you whimpered. You clearly, could not handle it.
His own grunts filled your ears, adding to the tension building up in your belly, those deep vibrations pushing you right over the edge.
"Hoon-I—ah FUCK!"
You cried out when your walls clamped around him, that tight coil within exploding into a thousand tiny lights that made your entire body convulse against him. He felt your orgasmic contractions, and despite the soreness in his leg, he kept fucking you through your release, your juices helping in easing your tight passage, but he still strained to keep his rhythm. His fingers dug into your soft skin, and he felt a bead of sweat running along his temple.
That unlocked something inside of him. While he still held you, leaving sloppy kisses on your neck, your shoulders, anywhere he could reach, he slammed into you, forcing your small body to jerk in his arms with each thrust. He grunted and moaned, nearly panting, as he crammed himself inside of you.
It doesn’t take long for your next orgasm to build up, releasing it with a silent cry as you unintentionally dig your fingers into Sunghoon's back causing him to groan in your ear in pleasure. He keeps his thrusts consistent as you begin to leak around his cock and onto the blanket beneath you. There’s no doubt you’ll have to change the bedding later. 
All you could do was bury your head in his chest until with one more thrust, he pushed into you, unloading pump after pump of cum. Afterwards, he slumped down, slowly dragging his cock out of your stuffed cunt, leaving you empty and internally screaming at the intoxication of the burn.
"Shit-" Sunghoon plopped down on the bed, next to you. Both of your chests rose and fell in unison, as you managed to steeply catch your breath.
A moment of calm silence arose before-
"Does your professor need any more sampler or...?" Sunghoon asked, eliciting a laugh out of you.
"Nope, just the one." You chuckled at his unseriousness as he pulled you in for cuddles.
"You're changing the sheets this time Hoon."
"Damn it."
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Bonus
"So you did the oogey-boogey with him?"
"Yunjin!"
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faeriekit · 2 months
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Health and Hybrids (XIX)👽👻💚
[I can't remember the original prompt posters  for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and the prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]
PART ONE is here PART TWO is here PART THREE is here PART FOUR is here and PART FIVE is here PART SIX is here and PART SEVEN is here PART EIGHT is here PART NINE is here PART TEN is here PART ELEVEN is here PART TWELVE is here PART THIRTEEN is here PART FOURTEEN is here PART FIFTEEN is here PART SIXTEEN is here PART SEVENTEEN is here PART EIGHTEEN is here...nineteen...oy vey.
💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts (now featuring mediocre mouseover translations, only available on a computer)
Where we last left off... THE BART RETURNS! The earth rejoices! 🥳🎉 Physical therapy can be fun, even if it usually isn't!
Trigger warnings for this story:  body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) |  my nonexistent attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.
💚👻👽👻💚
Danny learns a few more words with practice.
Foda is simple. If Danny is hungry, he can ask for foda. It sounds exactly like food, and when he asks, they feed him.
…Or they up his IV. Which. Danny’s tongue might still feel sore and nasty, but the doctors and nurses and millions of minders don’t seem that mad when he sticks his tongue out at them. Sometimes they even laugh.
They don’t even sound all that mean.
It takes Danny a good chunk of waking time for him to realize that he…probably is hooked up to something he doesn’t want to think about, since all the efforts of lifting and moving him haven’t resulted in a single bathroom trip since he woke up here.
Firstly: horrible.
Secondly: his legs are super, absolutely, positively immobilized, and if someone doesn’t give him enough medication quickly enough after it wears off, Danny is very aware that something is deeply wrong with them.
So. Uh. That’s…gross.
He learns bealo just as quickly. He isn’t sure what bealo means, per se, but when he says it, they up his medication until Danny can pretend he doesn’t have any legs again.
God niht is goodnight, unless Danny is feeling snippy, and then it’s just niht.
…The one lady who minds him always says the whole thing, though. Even when Danny’s mean. Like the one time he threw his rocket at someone.
Or the time he started ignoring everyone when they tried to touch him.
…Or the one time he tried to freeze his IV bag, and put everyone on alert because if he’d been human, that would have seriously hurt him.
“Sorry,” Danny’d whispered, even if it wouldn’t mean anything to her.
She’d patted his hand and meant it. Danny’d had to dry his eyes with his wrist. “Eall es wel.”
Anyway.
Danny hates being in the freaking bed every hour of every day. So when his “sitting up” exercises turn into “hey, let’s try the wheelchair” practice, Danny gets so excited-slash-nervous that he kind of feels like he’s going to throw up all the liquids he’s been injected with.
None of the regular people try to lift him. Instead the lady does it herself, scooping Danny up in very strong arms, the golden cuffs on her wrists weirdly warm on Danny’s skin. When Danny’s settled, his legs sticking out real weird and his back kind of sore, he’s…out of bed.
He’s. He’s not in bed anymore.
And. Sure. It’s temporary, but it’s not the bed. Danny can wriggle, and he can sort of palm the wheels underneath him with the heels of his shaky hands, and he can see so much more of himself than he has in ages and ages.
For one. Both of his legs are in casts. That’s. Not good. He can’t feel it right now, but the sight of fully encased legs…
Well. If he can transform that won’t be a problem. If. If he has to escape. But it is…it’s super scary. He mostly remembers being captured, but the…the other people had been focusing more on his thoracic cavity and his face and head.
…So why are his legs so bad? Did something else happen?
(It did, didn’t it?)
(…Didn’t it??)
His hands shake, but there’s something to all that grip training, or else Danny wouldn’t be able to paw at his neckline to look down his own shirt. Or, well, his cloth nightie, anyway.
It’s good that he looks, since, well…his chest is glowing a solid green.
Whatever should probably be scar tissue. Uh. It…isn’t. There’re gouges down his chest and a crater where his heart should be that probably should be healing over, considering, you know, he’s not freaking dead at this exact second (mostly??), but. Instead of, like, healed flesh, or, say, his insides, there’s a transparent green…jelly… holding him together.
He can see how the green bounces with his heart beat.
...Danny drops the neckline of his gown. His breath comes in choking bursts, eyes pressed into his eye sockets—he feels sick.
He is sick. He has been sick.
The humans are keeping him here because he’s a freak of nature and he’s broken from head to toe and the Guys in White carved his flesh out of his body and opened him up like a can of cranberry sauce.
He presses his hands to his chest, to his stomach, just trying to breathe for long enough that he doesn’t throw up his oatmeal and occasional juice and IV nutrition onto the pristine floor of his sickroom. The people around him all make sympathetic noises that don’t help because he doesn’t know what they mean.
And then he feels something weird.
Not all the sensation in his fingers are back. It’s easier for him to feel impediments than it is to feel textures—something that blocks him from moving, rather than anything sensory-specific. He can usually tell when he touches fabric, because when he moves too far, it pulls tight around his hand. He can tell when he’s on something solid when his hand fails to go through it.
There is something solid sticking out of him.
Danny’s heartbeat quickens. It’s not. It’s. There’s something in him.
And it’s not—it’s so solid. When Danny brushes his hands against it, he can feel his skin and his flesh move with it, trying not to dislodge the thing embedded in him. It pulls at his skin. He doesn’t know what it is.
His fingers tremble as he tries to brush over the object through his gown, trying to figure out its shape from faulty touch alone. It’s like waking up to find himself jammed with needles all over again.
People are talking around them. Danny doesn’t try to listen in. He’s scared. He’s so scared. Something’s happened to him, and he didn’t even notice.
Some of it is—hard. There’s a crinkling sound when he moves. Danny manages to pull his gown neckline back again to catch something of a glimpse, and all he sees is plastic.
He doesn’t know what it is.
He doesn’t know who to ask. He can’t understand anyone and he doesn’t know if he trusts them.
They put something in him. There’s something embedded in him.
He thinks he’s going to cry.
Something touches his arm—Danny flinches. His core tightens with stress as he puts a metaphorical hand on the button, ready to run and hide at any notice.
It’s the lady. He knows her.
No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know her at all. He can’t talk to her in any way that matters. She’s not a doctor. He doesn’t know why she’s here, or why she’s keeping him here.
She’s nice. She fed him. But is that all it takes to trick him? To make him compliant? Pliable?
She stops touching him when he gets scared, her eyes worried. She kneels—closer than Danny would like, probably, but she keeps her hands to herself. Danny’s heart races faster, out of order, starting and stopping and starting again like a bad engine.
“Eow eart wel?” she asks from his left arm rest, a common question, so softly. Danny doesn’t know what it means. “Eall es wel. Ænlic eow, ænlic me. Bruce bræð wið me?”
She takes a big, deep, breath. Her hand rises slightly over her chest, following an exaggerated movement. Don’t panic. Breathe. Breathe like me. One, two, three.
Danny’s breaths are more choked. More panicked.
But when she breathes, he breathes with her—even with every stutter in between.
“Hwæt es woh[O3] ?” the lady asks, so gently it’s almost a whisper. Her pointer finger hovers over his body, but doesn’t touch—and eventually, Danny figures out she probably wants to know where he’s hurting.
But he’s not hurting. He’s scared. There’s something inside him, and he isn’t sure what it is. He presses the heel of his hand to the object. He feels something rigid refuse to bend inside his flesh.
There’s something of recognition in the woman’s face. “Inne cwic tima,” she says, more certain of answers outside the room, and darts away,
Danny wants to bounce his bound leg. He feels awful when anyone is in the room with him, considering how little of them he knows, but, somehow, it’s so much worse when he’s actually alone.
When she comes back, there’s a second person who walks through the double doors with her, in blue scrubs with ducks on them. They wave to Danny.
Danny…blinks. He feels numb. It’s kind of a problem.
They take it in stride, though; in their hands is a blank board and a chunky marker. The cap comes off, the new person scribbles for a minute or so, and then turns the board around so that Danny can see.
It’s a…person. A rudimentary outline person, sure, with some visible bones and organs to fill in the person-shaped outline. Danny can recognize most of them from anatomy class, although those memories are more…personal, now. A little more painful.
The person taps on the board. The person points to Danny.
Danny frowns.
The person turns the board back around and makes some Pew, Pew, Pew! sounds with their mouth, occasionally opening and closing their hand over the board to match the noise. There’s some more scribbling. When the board turns back around, there’s a violent smudge of marker on top of the drawn person’s drawn intestines.
The person takes their covered pinky finger and erases a little neat circle of marker in the intestines, mostly favoring one side. They draw a little arrow from the hole to the general outside-of-the-person blank area. Then another circle, with a thicker circle inside.
Danny recognizes the object jutting out of him. Oh. This is how he got it.
The person—probably a doctor, Danny guesses, or the surgeon who did this to him—do these people even need credentials, actually?—hands the board over to the lady. They hold out ten outstretched fingers, marker under their arm, and make a show of counting every one of the outstretched fingers with the opposite hand. Then they take the board back.
And then, when they write on the board, Danny can actually understand what they say.
Or, well, it’s numbers! The numbers are the same as his—the line and a circle is clearly meant to be a ten, and the little x is a multiplication symbol— they draw a 10, as clearly and a brightly as it could be against a stark white board, and add a little x 7, probably to indicate a week; the result is ten suns times seven, or seventy suns.
Danny feels his heart bounce in his chest. Danny would bet a whole lot of money that the number is meant to be seventy days. There is an end point. It’s not that Danny is free to be subjected to random anatomical whims—there’s a goal here. This was purposeful.
The little circle-within a circle gets erased. The hole is scribbled through as if it was never there, and the person makes a weaving gesture with the marker that Danny is certain is meant to be sewing.
Tears prick at his eyes. The lady gets close by him again, but Danny lets her. His hands aren’t good enough for wiping tears the way he wants to, yet. Help and company are good.
She gives him a tissue from Danny's bedside table. He takes it with a whisper of a grip.
“Seventy?” Danny rasps, tearful. Hopeful. Terrified of hope. He practically jams the tissue into his eye sockets.
The lady’s eyes go wide. “Seventy,” she repeats, marveling.
It’s enough. Nothing is perfect, but it’s enough. And if Danny's allowed to spend so long in front of the space window that he falls asleep in his wheelchair, well. It's not like he was in charge of where they went.
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spectres-n-soap · 3 months
Text
Your Warmth is Fading - Soap x You x Ghost
Content Warnings - pregnancy complications, hospital stuff
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
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It was late at night, long past visiting hours but your nightmare still haunted you. The taste of bile still lingered on your tongue and sweat still stuck to your skin. At least your breathing returned to normal. The quiet of the military hospital room was off putting but the machine showed Soap was still alive. The pattern of his heart beat, the IV bags hung up and the soft breathing of his soothed you.
You slinked over to the chair next to his bed and sat down. Soap looked better, no longer on death's doorstep even if all the tubes and wires connected to him unsettled you. His face was relaxed despite the discoloration of his right cheek. You thought back to what the doctor who had first reviewed the two of you had said. The comment was still bitter in your mouth. The doctor had called you both lucky. What a load of shite. Luck would have stopped it all from happening in the first place.
You kept an eye on Soap a little longer until sleep started to pull at you again. You stood up and before you left, your lips grazed his forehead. At least he was still alive.
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"You're joking." you say, looking at the doctor with your brows pinched so tight you could feel your skin pulling tight.
"You should be in bed rest for the last month of your pregnancy." the doctor reiterated. "For your safety and the baby's." Simon looks between you and the doctor. He wants to side with the doctor and also strangle him. How could he have not caught this sooner? "Your baby being positioned like this will only cause more harm to your body the longer you move around.”
You shake your head, anger making your face turn hot. Those fucking Braxton Hicks hadn't been all Braxton Hicks but a major sign of your baby, Johnny's baby, being sideways. If it wasn't so fucking terrible you might be laughing. "How did you not catch this sooner?" you snarl.
"This is why we insist on check ups every week. So we can catch things like this.”
"But what about all the other check ups?" you huff and sit up, grasping onto Simon's arm for a little extra support. "What if you had missed it completely?”
"Ma'am please, getting aggressive will not do any of us any good.”
"A month I have to spend doing nothing." you grumble and cross your arms over your chest. You wonder, a thing you've been doing often, how Johnny would react to all of this. Wonder if he would be spitting mad and yelling at the doctor with a thick Scottish accent. You can almost hear it. Pulling from memories of him training recruits or yelling at an insubordinate recruit.
"It's for the best." Simon says, physically stopping himself from adding a 'love' to the end. He was sure you would throw your shoes at him if he let it slip. You had always been a firecracker and pregnancy seemed to amplify how quickly your anger flared up. It would be cute, he thinks, if he didn't know that you could gut him like a fish.
You glare at Simon the entire trip back to the flat, refuse his help getting out of his truck and slam the truck door shut hard. The last few weeks you've struggled up the stairs to your flat and now you're marching up them like you weren't advised to keep exercise low. “Would ya fuckin’ wait?” Simon huffs. Your glare could melt steel and you slam the flat door behind you. Simon groans and opens it to find you pacing back and forth.
“Just sit down.” Simon says and grabs you by the shoulders. You push him away a little, stumbling yourself from the force needed to do such an act.
“Don't tell me what to do.” you snap and run your fingers through your hair. You were sure you would lose your fucking mind if you had to rest all day for a month.
“You should update Mrs and Mr MacTavish on the situation.” Simon suggests, “Maybe Mrs MacTavish has gone through this before.” You glare at him but pull out your phone anyway and begin to type.
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You're there when he wakes up, this time not high on pain meds. “Lass?” he groggily muttered and tried to rub at his eyes. Soap hissed when he felt the IV needle in his arm at the movement. “What ‘re ye doin’ here?”
“Waiting for you to wake up.” you stated, voice cool and Soap sunk further into blankets and hospital bed. He knew that look in your eyes, you were on the verge of an explosion. “What the hell were you thinkin’?” you snapped and flicked his forehead for good measure. “Running into that building like a man with a death wish.” you tossed your hands up in the air.
“Well I'm not dead.”
“I had to perform CPR on your MacTavish!” you snarled, “Blood loss might've fogged that part over but I remember!”
“Lass-”
“Do not ‘Lass’ me.” you stood from your chair, the spot you had nearly grown roots into if not for the different appointments you had due to the wounds on your hands. “You nearly died and I had to watch it. Do you seriously think I wouldn't be upset?”
“Lass I'm fine.” Soap tried to say and sit up. He groaned and clutched his side when the pain shocked through his system. “Bleeding Christ.”
You sat back down in your chair and wiped at your tears so he wouldn't see them. “You pull that shit on me again MacTavish and I'll let the crows eat you.”
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“I'm not on bed rest yet Simon.” you huff and nudge Simon away and out of the kitchen. “I can make my own food.”
“Never said ya couldn't.” Simon mutters as he takes a step back.
“Go finish setting up the baby changing station.” you say, swallowing the snarl. You keep reminding yourself that this isn't Simon's fault. Mrs. MacTavish has texted back, telling you that she once had a friend with the same complication but not to worry. The month would pass quickly. You had to also turn off your phone to stop from messaging something hurtful. The military had always kept you moving. Running courses, training recruits or deployed into the field. Pregnancy had already shown you down and put you on light duty until you took leave.
You tap your foot as you stir the soup and your eyes drift to the front of your hands. The scars had faded well thanks to treatments but sometimes you wish they hadn't. Just as a reminder, something to run your hands over that wasn't your bulging stomach. You reach and turn on your phone, holding your breath as well as you could bring 7 months pregnant as the brands sign flashes.
You stare at your lock screen, a group picture of the 141. Back when Soap was alive. A ding as a notification pops up, a message from Mrs MacTavish from several hours ago.
“Would you like a baby shower before you have to go on bed rest?”
A baby shower? You had a small one at four months. Just Price and Gaz, Simon wasn't invited. The baby clothes you had were from those two. You really didn't want another. So much stress and surely more people. You had seen the family pictures on the wall in their house.
I owe it to them, you think as you type up the one word response, at least I owe them this much.
“Yes.”
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athenaistired · 4 months
Text
𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂❞
— 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐭.𝟑 //
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ᴘʟᴏᴛ: ᴅᴏɴɴᴀ ʜᴀᴅ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ, ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏꜰꜰ ʜᴇʀ ᴋɪɴᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴɪᴛʏ.
art credit & word count: 2634
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ (ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ꜱᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀꜱ): ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴇꜱ, ʜᴏꜱᴘɪᴛᴀʟɪᴢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ɴᴏɴ-ᴄᴏɴꜱᴇɴꜱᴜᴀʟ ᴀʙᴏʀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛᴛɪɴɢ, ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ, ɢʀɪᴇꜰ, ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ʙᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ
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— 𝑴𝒀 𝑳𝑼𝑺𝑻𝑭𝑼𝑳 𝑯𝑼𝑺𝑩𝑨𝑵𝑫 !3!
Donna woke up to the sunlight forcing its way through her eyelids. She was in an unfamiliar bed, with Diluc gone from her side, and with a strange string attached to her arm. Her memory was still hazy; the only thing that she could recall was that she was speaking to you about Diluc, but somehow she ended up here.
“You’re awake.” An unfamiliar man in a black suit was sitting in front of her bed on a chair, he seemed to be reading a book in another language with a drawing of a human’s head on the cover, “I’m Sebastian, personal doctor working for Master Y/N in case of emergencies. Just call me by my name. How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. Just a bit sore all over..” Donna mumbled back, to which the man nodded, “And.. My stomach kind of hurts..”
“That’s expected.” He reached for the paper laying by her nightstand, “You’ve been here for 32 hours, in and out of consciousness. Your medical record is missing information about your allergies, but considering that you and Master Y/N were having tea together, I’d say that you had quite an aggressive reaction towards some type of fruit which was used to make the blend.”
The moment he explained what had occurred hours prior — memories came rushing back in Donna’s mind, and she instantly felt more awake than ever.
“So.. It wasn’t poison?” She asked with hesitance, and the man almost dropped the mug which he was holding in his other hand.
“What kind of person do you think Master Y/N is to poison someone in a broad daylight, in their own home, with this many people around? Of course this was an accident.” The doctor scoffed and got up, “Anyways, leave whenever you feel like it. You seem more than fine to me.” He quickly detached the IV drip out of her hand, and bandaged up her elbow, “Try not to put any unnecessary strain on this arm.”
“A-Alright..”
Donna had actually never seen one of the proper doctors before in her life. Her family were strong believers in Herbology and Barbados’ will, so she wasn’t exactly sure why the doctor had concluded she was allergic to some fruit. Her whole life she tended to the gardens, sold massive varieties of flowers, and even once was a waitress at the bar with all kinds of drinks. Something didn’t seem to perfectly match what Sebastian had described, but maybe she just had to ask you what the two of you had that day to get to the bottom of this situation.
“Donna! Are you alright?!”
Suddenly, the doors bursted open with Diluc rushing inside. He looked even worse than last time she saw him. He was beginning to smell, his hair was forming mats and shining with grease, and his eyes were puffed and red; huge eye-bags forming above his cheeks.
“H-honey.. What has happened to you?” The woman gasped in shock at the appearance of her lover. He seemed to be taken with surprise by her reaction, and took a few steps back to stare at himself in the mirror.
The man froze.
Slowly, he reached to cup his own face as if he couldn’t recognize it.
“That dammed Y/N..” He mumbled to himself, “I am actually falling apart..” He whispered, while crouching down to take a seat on the ground. Now, Donna was more than worried. She got up from her bed and hugged her lover in a tight embrace, “Did they do something to you?” He pulled away to look deep into the woman’s eyes, “Did they hurt you?”
“I..” The brunette wasn’t sure what to say. Was she poised? Was this intentional? Accidental? Were you naturally hostile or angered by the circumstances? She had no clue. “I don’t know. Sebastian told me that I had an intense allergic reaction to something and that Y/N called in the medics to save me.”
“Oh.” Diluc blinked in surprise, “T-that’s confusing me even more now..”
“I know..” The woman sighed, “I know.”
-
You sat at the edge of your bed, as Marie kneeled before you with your right hand in her skillful palms. Your feet were soaking in a warm tub with rose petals floating above the water’s surface, and the maid gently trimmed your cuticles and the length of your nails to perfection. The two of you sat in silence throughout the whole procedure, as you stared at the flickering flame of a candle on your nightstand.
“What do you think, Marie? What are they going to do next?” You asked her a question, and she didn’t even bat an eye before answering to you.
“They are going to try to murder you, my Master.”
You didn’t expect such conclusion. Truly, your death seemed to be an only out for Diluc’s desperate cry for freedom. The moment he’d sign a contract provided by you — his life would be over. Staying in the same mansion with you would also ensure his and Donna’s suffering until their last breaths. But in order for him to be back in control of his future — he would need to erase you. You let out a bitter laugh, however, Marie’s expression remained as stoic as always.
“What do you think I should do?” You questioned further. You watched her grab a warm cloth, and rub your palms in gentle motion, as if trying to cleanse you of your sins.
“I am a mere servant, my Master.” She reminded you.
For a second, you saw red. Without a thought you slapped her hands away from yours’ and grabbed at her chin — forcing her to look you in the eyes. She didn’t tremble, she didn’t fight, she just froze. Your anger vanished, and slowly you melted into a fake smile. Your thumb hovered over her bottom lip, and you brought her closer to yourself, until you both could feel each others’ breaths.
“You’re my servant, Marie. I don’t keep fools around me, do I?” You then let go off her, making her lose her balance for a second, but she quickly gathered herself and bowed her head in submission, “Now, speak.” She rose her gaze, and you encouraged her once again with a raised brow.
“I believe for there to be two options.” Marie began her speech, and took your feet out the tub to place them on her thighs and wipe them dry, “You get rid of Master Diluc and send Mistress Donna back to Mondstat. Nobody would believe her that it was you who hurt Master Diluc, but even if they would, a single mention of his crimes across the world and that it was all done in self-defense would guarantee your innocence.”
She was finally done taking care of you, and proceeded to reach for freshly the ironed socks by her side.
“And second?”
“You get rid of Mistress Donna, and make Master Diluc fall into the deepest depths of despair, so that he won’t have anyone else to turn to for comfort — but you.” Marie buckled up your shoes, and stood up, instantly straightening her back, “The choice lies in whether you prefer to execute quick revenge and forget, or, to keep a hold of your revenge until your last breath.”
You laughed at her words.
“Do you believe for revenge to be a waste of time?”
“Many people who consider themselves above others would say that, but I solely believe that your decision is absolute, my Master. I believe a yearn for revenge made you into a person who you are today, and Master..” Marie locked her hands together by her chest, “You are an entity beyond my comprehension.”
“You flatter me, Marie.”
Looking at her, you saw emotions which Diluc had never expressed towards you. Yes, he loved you. But young love comes and goes. Meanwhile every single one of your servants in this house, were undoubtedly loyal to you. There was no hesitation that every single maid, butler, cook, and even the recently hired doctor would die for you. Kill for you. Live for you.
Diluc was never any of those things.
“I think I made my decision.”
You’ve made that decision long time ago, and there was no reason to back out on it now. Even if Diluc would put you in the casket, you would crawl out with a knife in your hand to continue to haunt him. You weren’t sure where this obsession was coming from. Perhaps it was boredom. Maybe, you were just that evil and prideful. Or even..
It was just fun.
-
Donna decided to finally leave Master Y/N house and go for a walk. They have been living in the mansion for a month now, and each day was worse than the previous one. She tried to make it work. She followed all lessons which you signed her up for, she learned the etiquette, she put herself on a diet, did her hair to the best of her ability, but one thing for sure — each day was more miserable than the other.
The moment that the sun would rise, she would feel the dread wash over her. Even when you weren’t at the mansion your spirit and your presence were felt everywhere. Your mere gaze was driving her insane, even giving her nightmares. She had a dream, where you were smirking at her with a maniacal glare in your eyes whilst holding a blade to her throat. Then, there were visions of you poisoning her, assassinating her, or hanging her off the ceiling.
Donna’s thoughts were getting darker and darker. From a light and careless girl, she has become something else entirely.
Perhaps, being with Diluc was the biggest mistake of her life.
As she finally stepped through the gates of Mondstat — the whispers began. Nobody in this city knew what you were truly like. How terrifying, how cruel, how manipulative. They all saw you from the best angle, meanwhile, Donna was seen from her worst.
“Homewrecker..”
“Slut!”
“Whore!”
“To get together with a married man, no shame at all!”
“How can she even bear to come back here..”
Even though they were mere whispers, their voices seemed to be louder than her own thoughts. She had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep herself away from shedding tears. Her life had become so terrible. Although she was outside, it felt like the curtains were still drawn. She couldn’t see the sunlight as bright as it used to be. A part of her was still locked away in that mansion — forever caged.
She felt her heart rase, her breathing picking up — she was panicking. There were so many people, and they all hated her. Yes, she did a bad thing, but did she really deserve all of this? Were her good deeds before this now completely forgotten? Where did all of her friends go when she needed them the most?
She had no one.
She was so alone.
“Is Sister Barbara around?” Donna asked as she had finally reached the church. Her feet felt sore, and the base of her spine was aching.
“One second.” One of the nuns had ran off to get her. As Donna waited she took a seat and looked around the church. Perhaps, she should beg, no, plead Barbados for His guidance. For His help. For His involvement.
“She’s here.”
“Donna! I haven’t seen you in a while.” If there were someone who hadn’t changed their attitude towards her — it was all the nuns, especially Sister Barbara. Maybe she was just very good at hiding her real thoughts, but Donna preferred to indulge herself in a more positive light.
“Hi, Sister Barbara.” The brunette murmured shyly, “I sent you a letter a week ago..” She reminded the other, and at first Barbara seemed confused, until she remembered.
“Ah, yes, yes!” The young girl continuously nodded her head, “Let’s head to a more private room.” She gestured for Donna to follow her out the church, and into the next building.
Barbara wasn’t the only doctor in Mondstat, in fact, she wasn’t even an actual licensed professional how Sebastian was. However, people with healing hydro abilities were granted permission to accept patients and examine them if required. Donna didn’t trust Sebastian, so, she sent a letter ahead explaining her symptoms to the blonde girl and arranged time and date of their meeting.
Barbara made the woman lay down on the examination table, as she checked what worried her most. She applied pressure on different parts of her body, especially her stomach. Then, a frown covered her face and she spread out her palms across Donna’s stomach — hydro particles suddenly formed in the air and circled around each one of her fingers — until they had vanished. It seemed that the blonde had come to her conclusion, but was hesitating to speak.
“Donna..”
“What? What is it?” The brunette was already imaging the worst. Was she dying? She must be dying! “What’s wrong with me?” The longer she wasn’t hearing an answer, the more panicked she got.
“You’ve had a miscarriage.”
What.
“I.. I was pregnant?” Donna stared, and Barbara nodded, “What do you mean I had a miscarriage?” She breathed out a pained laugh, “I didn’t bleed or anything.. I..” And then — it hit her. She understood what happened. You didn’t poison her that day. Your intent wasn’t her assassination, but rather.. “N-no way..”
She was drowning.
Her lungs were getting filled with the sea of sorrow.
“NOOOOOooooOOoOOOooOOooo!” A howling, blood-curdling cry was heard echoing through the halls of the hospital. Her tears were running down her cheeks like a river, and Barbara’s comforting embrace felt like the last hold on her humanity.
That day Donna hadn’t just lost her past, but she also lost her future.
-
Donna came back home only a week later. She might have not even known her child, but the grief was weighting down at her heart. She always wanted to be a mother, and from a young age she was told to be infertile. She never said anything to Diluc about it, because the topic was never brought up. But now, she was finding out that her miracle baby was forcefully taken out of her. She felt violated, torn, and broken. Every part of her soul had shattered like glass with pieces scattered so far apart that they’ll never be fixed back together.
“Donna.. Finally.”
Diluc was hugging her, but she couldn’t even feel it. Her body just froze, meanwhile, her gaze and mind were elsewhere. She couldn’t stop thinking about her lost child. Was it a girl, a boy, or twins? Were they going to have her brown her or their father’s crimson locks? What about their eyes, their height, their smiles? Were they going to grow up to be strong and powerful, or would they prefer a more standard and quiet life? Why did this happen to her? Why wasn’t she given a chance?
If only you had asked her to decide between her child and Diluc, she would have chosen her child in a heartbeat.
“Where have you been?” The man whispered into her ear, and she felt his tears falling onto her shoulder and soaking through her shirt. She hadn’t cried since that day. She hadn’t even said a word. Her whole world was stuck in that one moment, unable to move on, “What happened to you, my beautiful?” Diluc was playing with the locks of her hair, just how he used to.
He hadn’t changed, but she was now a different person. She was in grief. He was in despair.
“Can we kill them?”
Diluc instantly pulled away, and stared at Donna’s empty eyes. He blinked once, twice, but still couldn’t believe his ears.
“K-kill who?”
“Master Y/N. I want to take their life.“
FINAL CHAPTER !
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smizzy · 1 year
Text
no words
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i been doin that brazilian dance on tiktok hmu if you wanna battle ive been practicing
You know dating Wednesday Addams comes with more lows than highs but you don't seem to be picking a fight, although she doesn't show emotion -generally speaking- but you can tell by the neutral comments she makes, or the loving -cold- stares, letting you copy her homework when you don't feel in the slightest mood to put your brain to work, maybe on a good morning she'd greet you with a kiss and leave you with a kiss at the end of the day.
~~
But now, during this time you wouldn't say you and Addams aren't on speaking terms from a heated disagreement that left you both even Thing in disturbing silence. You were sitting on her bed while she was doing her daily 1-hour writing but since the argument it would be a 10-hour writing or maybe until one of you apologize you were thinking so many thoughts you didn't notice Thing silently move towards you signing that 'it felt weird, maybe you should talk to her' You're thinking about it for a quick minute but if you remember very vividly she was the one who popped off on you, said majority of the words being said, didn't acknowledge your presence before and still doesn't now.
You shook your head to Thing and put on an annoyed face and mouthing a "she started it. So she should." Crossing your arms over your chest seeing Thing go back, sorry's from Wednesday Addams were only said if it was needed and you knew a sorry wasn't what you were gonna get. You kept thinking of what to do around Nevermore knowing Enid, Yoko, and Bianca were out doing whatever and Weems has the whole school on lock down.
An idea popped up in your head saying you were gonna leave and even though you didn't have no where else to go except your own dorm it would be better than staying in a tormenting dorm room, You already felt annoyed from the silence. Motioned to Thing to moved to your side of the bed and told him your idea he looked like he didn't wanna get punished by Wednesday but was still willing to go along.
Picking up your shoes from the side of her bed and grabbing your sweater from a coat rack all the way in the webbed corner of her side and if you looked back a little faster you'd see the Addams girl looking at you up and down not wanting to say anything but she definitely didn't want you leaving and instead looked at Thing to which he shrugged back.
"Where are you going." "Out?" "It's past curfew." "mmmkay?" "It's a lockdown tonight so you should wait." "Since when do you care about those"
She stood up now so you two were both standing facing each other, as she looked up right into your eyes trying to find an answer you already had the urge to kiss her lips, wondering lovingly if those colored lips would smudge yours but kept it together because you still felt annoyed that now she wants to speak to you.
"Since when do you wish to leave the room so badly." "I'm not going to argue with you on this right now, if you need time to sort stuff ou-" You didn't even know she grabbed your uniform collar making you lean forward til you felt a pair of lips meeting yours, a soft kiss that lasted a little bit more than a 'peck' And you knew she purposefully made it longer than it should've but you weren't even complaining in the slightest, feeling like an hour already she finally let go of your purple striped uniform and pulled away already looking back into your eyes again.
"You still want to go?" "mm yes! actually as a matter of fact" You were joking of course because now you were intrigued with those kisses. She could not believe what she was hearing right now so she devised her final plan: to hug/trap you in her room at least until Enid came back which you both didn't know when she would return. Opening her arms in a swift motion and wrapped them around your waist while she was listening very closely into your beating heart, confused clearly you just missed the whole thing. "Don't go" "Please" You didn't want to fold into the hug but once you heard that last word coming out of her muffled mouth you couldn't help but bringing your arms out and embracing her, though it sounded more of an order than a question you'd rather be happily in love with your girlfriend who wants you 25/8 but would never admit it but that's okay because you know she knows that you know now....yea
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braxlrose · 17 days
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I miss ur writings sm :(
I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!
content warnings: none
a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!
2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader
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sfw:
- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏
• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.
• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞
• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.
• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.
• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.
- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.
• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting
• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.
- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.
- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.
-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.
• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉
-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.
-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.
• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).
• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱
- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.
a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞
taglist: none right now
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padfootagain · 4 days
Text
Only an Almost (IV)
Chapter 4: First Time
Hello!! Here is a new chapter! This is one includes sexual themes, even if no explicit descriptions, so no minors here, please!
I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!
*************************************
Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 2435
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
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Andrew and you didn’t see each other for a few days. You were both busy with work, and an impending fear seemed to hang above the two of you. You were both happy to pretend that you didn’t have time to see each other, it was easier to tiptoe around the line of friendship rather than to cross it for good.
But then Saturday arrived, and with it Andrew’s promise to help you move furniture around your house. You were buying a new bookshelf, and needed to move a couple of things to accommodate the larger shelves.
It was raining, for a change. When Andrew knocked on your door, his hair was curlier than ever, and on its way to get properly drenched. Luckily, you hurried to let him inside the warmth of your house.
“Alright, muscles! Let’s get you dry and warm, and then you can show all that manly strength of yours!” you joked, making Andrew laugh before you had even closed the door behind him.
“Yes, ma’am. I am but your humble servant today.”
It was your turn to laugh. You walked to your kitchen to start a kettle, while Andrew was ridding himself of his wet shoes and coat.
“So, how many muscles will be pulled today?” he asked, walking into your living room to assess the work to be done for the afternoon.
You appeared soon after, carrying two cups of tea; you handed him the one containing two teabags.
“We need to move the sofa, the coffee table, and all the furniture set against this wall,” you explained. “Once that is done, we need to pick up my bookshelf at the shop, and bring it home. We can set up everything now, it shouldn’t take too long.”
“Last time we’ve tried to build a piece of furniture together was at Jon’s, and it took us three hours… I expect to be free at nightfall,” Andrew pointed out, but you shook your head.
“No, don’t worry about that. I can assemble the bookshelf on my own.”
Andrew raised a surprised eyebrow.
“You don’t want any help?”
“I can do it.”
“I know you can… I’m asking if you want help.”
“I don’t want to bother you…”
But he merely let out a laugh.
“When did you decide to stop being insufferable?” he joked, making you roll your eyes. “Y/N… I’m here to help, so let me help.”
You grew a little shy, and Andrew tried to ignore the way it made his heart inflate, warmth spreading in his chest at the sight.
“You’re sure?”
“Of course!”
He drank a little bit of tea, before rolling up his sleeves.
“Alright, tell me where we’re putting all these.”
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“Wait, wait, wait, wait!”
“Pivot! Pivot!”
“I can’t believe you’ve made that joke… Andy!”
“Put it down. Y/N, just put it down, we’ll pick it up again.”
You heaved a relieved sigh as you put down the large cardboard box in your hallway. You took a couple of deep breaths, trying to slow down your heart.
You caught Andrew rubbing his back as you turned to him.
“Okay, next time I need help with something like this, I’ll ask someone my height. Are you okay, Andy?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course. You should close your door, and then we’ll lift this up again and get it safely to your living room.”
You managed to get the box in the right room on your second attempt, even if your arms and hands were sore by now.
Building the bookshelf was quicker than expected, thanks to Andrew’s help. He heaved a content sigh once you were finally done.
“Not too bad!” you nodded, an excited smile on your lips.
He leaned back on his hands, admiring your work. You were both sitting on the ground, in the mess of cardboard and spared screws that came with building furniture.
“So… that means…”
“I can buy so many more books…”
He let out a bright laugh, shaking his head at you with a fondness that made you look away.
“Why am I not surprised?”
“Hey! How many books did you buy last time we went to the bookstore together?” you asked back, making him roll his eyes.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll have you know my purchases were perfectly legitimate.”
“The first two, maybe. Not the six that came next…”
Andrew laughed again, he couldn’t help it. And it made you break your act, the most beautiful sound in the world…
“Alright, alright. I might have a bit of an addiction.”
“Want some tea before you go?”
“You don’t want help organizing your brand-new shelves?”
“I reckon I’ve bothered you enough for one day.”
“God, stop saying that,” he mumbled, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. “You’re never bothering me, Y/N.”
You gave him a smile, the kind that made his heart melt, that illuminated his entire world…
… Christ, he was such a desperate case.
“Even when I steal all your chips?”
It made him laugh again, of course, even if it was silly. Perhaps because it was silly. You were adorable like this, sitting on the ground with pieces of cardboard all around, your hair a mess and wearing your most comfortable clothes. Domestic. That’s how the scene looked. It could have been a moment held in a shared home…
He wanted to make a snarky remark, but his heart was too soft, too warm, a little too painful as well.
“Even when you steal my chips.”
Your smile grew more mischievous, and Andrew’s gaze lingered on your lips.
“Now that you’ve admitted that, you’ll never get the chance to eat chips ever again.”
You both chuckled at that, and Andrew leaned closer to you without noticing, sitting straighter again. He didn’t pay attention to the way you leaned closer as well.
“Alright, that is too much. I like you enough to concede… 1% of my chips. Not one more.”
“One?! And you say you like me?” you huffed. “I deserve at least 25% of your chips.”
“You’re never getting one-fourth of my chips. Have I never mentioned that chips are my passion in life? You’ll get 5%.”
“20%.”
“I won’t go above 7%.”
“Come on, 10%...”
You leaned even closer, so close your shoulder was brushing his arm. So close, he could feel the warmth of your breath on his chin as he bent down a little.
He struggled to swallow. The thought crossed his mind that you were barely a breath away, that all he had to do to kiss you was to slightly tilt his head and lean down some more…
When did the temperature of the room rise so much?
When did the playful atmosphere turn into this longing?
“Alright, 10%.”
“Deal.”
You offered him your hand, and he looked down at your open palm. He shook your hand, his so much larger than yours. When he looked up, you were blinking, lips slightly parted. He didn’t have the strength to pull away, decided to let you break your hold on him. But you didn’t. Instead, your gaze dropped to his lips, and you tightened you tightened your hold on his hand. Andrew’s heart skipped several beats, he glanced at your mouth as well. When your gazes met once more, you let go of him, and Andrew blushed furiously, ready to pull away, to pretend that nothing had happened.
But then your fingers were lifted to his cheek, your thumb softly stroking his beard. He blinked at you, holding his breath.
When you leaned up, he could barely believe it.
“Andy?” you whispered, your lips almost touching his.
“Yes?” he struggled to swallow, voice low and deepened by want.
“Are you still okay with… what we discussed the other day? About… our arrangement?”
Andrew tried to speak, but he merely nodded instead.
“Can I kiss you, then?”
But instead of answering, Andrew merely closed the gap between your mouths.
It was as wonderful as he remembered, just as overwhelming, as perfect… a feeling he never wanted to end. A sensation he knew he would never stop seeking if he lost you…
The kiss, this time, quickly got heated though. Andrew’s lips had soon found the sweet spot over your pulse, and he busied himself gently biting on the skin of your neck, before kissing it to sooth the tickling flesh. You were breathless in his arms, hands lost in his hair, gently pulling now and then.
When you started to unbutton his shirt, shivers ran through his entire frame.
“Can we take this to the bedroom?” he asked, voice raw and deeper than you had ever heard, deep enough to make your soul tremble, lust audible in his tone.
His pupils were as dilated as yours when you looked at each other.
You quickly nodded, staggering to your feet.
You offered him a hand, one he knew he couldn’t refuse.
“Just sex, though. We still agree on this?” you asked.
Andrew’s chest tightened, and yet as he looked up at you, your lips reddened with kisses, a mark left by his mouth over the curve of your neck, a lustful look in your eyes… he could never have said no. He would have accepted anything to have you, no matter the consequences for him.
“Yes. Yes, we agree.”
You helped him up, keeping your hand in his as you guided him to your bed.
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You were still holding his hand.
There was no sound in the room but your two breaths, heaving across silence, scattering over empty space and furniture and the perspiration across your brow.
Andrew couldn’t look at you yet. His mind was just coming down from its height, from reaching for the heavens and gently landing back into your bed, across the soft cotton sheets that smelled of lilac and you. His thoughts were still a little foggy, a little distant even, hanging above him just out of reach. The dizziness that came with utter pleasure and release was dissipating, leaving some room for the return of realisation and consciousness.
He had sex with you. Andrew had just had sex with you. You had slept with him. And God, what love-making that was…
Your hand tightened slightly around his, and he finally gathered his courage to turn his head on the pillow, blinking and then looking at you.
You were dishevelled, struggling for breath still, your eyes closed. Your bare chest was heaving; he couldn’t help but let his gaze trace your shape, the lines of your skin, the perfect curves of your body, for now still uncovered by the sheets. You looked messy and perfectly content. Glowing in some way only pleasure could bring.
He wished for this to be the only sight he would ever see from now on.
“Wow… that was amazing, Andy…”
His lips curved into a cocky grin.
“So… not as disappointing as expected?”
You chuckled at that, finally turning your head to look at him.
“Barely.”
You exchanged a tender smile, while he raised his hand to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. His hand lingered to cup your cheek, touch gentle, loving even.
“It was amazing for me too, by the way,” he whispered, moving closer, his tone as quiet as a confession.
You leaned closer to kiss him, and you tasted like heaven, something sweet and impossibly you, a taste he would never forget and always crave for…
“Hold me… please,” you asked in a whisper, and he didn’t hesitate as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you against him. You rested your ear right against his heart, listening to the steady beat of the organ.
You nuzzled into his chest, one of your hands still holding his, the other resting across his stomach where you drew mindless patterns that lulled him into a peaceful state, one he had not reached in years. He bent his head to kiss your hair.
This could work, he thought. None of what had just happened felt like a mere fling, like some meaningless sex. There had been a connection the second your lips met. It wasn’t fucking, it was making love. And now, you were craving for his embrace as much as he was longing for yours. This could work. For now, your life was complicated and stressful. It was okay, Andrew would wait for you to be available again, for you to be ready to give him a proper chance. It would be alright, all he had to do was to be patient. You couldn’t properly date him at the moment, but nothing that had occurred in this bedroom was mere physical attraction. It was more than just sex. You pretending that it was nothing more than a friends with benefits situation… it was temporary. Andrew was not fooled. You were still holding his hand. It would be fine, it was more than just sex… so much more…
He pressed his lips to your hairline.
“God, you’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered, and he felt your smile against his skin.
His hold on your waist tightened slightly, before he would move his hand across your back, long fingers splayed across the base of your spine. Feeling your bare skin against his was driving him absolutely insane…
“Let’s take ten minutes like this, and then I’ll clean the mess we’ve made in the living room.”
“An hour.”
You chuckled, pinching playfully his side.
“Quit having such a terrible influence on me, would you? I’ll give us fifteen…”
“Why the rush?” he argued, his eyes closing while his lips were still resting against your skin and he breathed in the blooming scent of your shampoo. “This is nice… let’s enjoy the moment, okay?”
You didn’t say anything, remained quiet, went back to tracing patterns against his skin.
It lasted a few blissful minutes, before you were sitting up.
You let go of his hand.
“I’m gonna go clean up everything in the living room, and reorder my bookshelves. Do you want some tea?”
You weren’t looking at him, as if you were avoiding his stare. Andrew wondered why.
“No, thanks. I’m fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks, though.”
You hurried back into your clothes, and Andrew grew self-conscious, now that he was the only one still naked. He reached for his underwear as well, then his undershirt.
“You’re alright, baby?”
You finally turned to him.
“Let’s make a new rule. No pet names. Okay?”
He blinked up at you from the bed, taken aback, too much so to stop you from leaving the room.
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gffa · 1 year
Text
Hey, hi, cool, so I just thought, for no reason that I can think of at this particular time, you all might want to fall back into the Kalluzeb rabbit hole with me, especially since they didn't get onscreen resolution for the desperate need I had for them to kiss, so fic is here to help solve that for us. Also feelings. So many, many feelings. And delicious mutual pining and hilarity of two idiots who clearly want to bang each other, with the knowledge that Zeb eventually will totally get his man (Steve Blum said so!!! just like that!!!) which makes it fun to watch two dumbasses circle each other around. Or finally give in because there's definitely a lot of giving in. Anyway, yes, have some STAR WARS REBELS fic, centered on Kallus and Zeb just because I thought it would be a fun side trip today. No reason! Just seemed like the thing to do, is all! STAR WARS REBELS KALLUZEB FIC RECS: ✦ A Lasat Walks into a Bar by Holderisms, zeb/kallus, the mandalorian spoilers, 1.3k    After speaking with Teva, Zeb gets a drink. Even when someone is waiting on him. ✦ Eudaemonia by Bur, zeb/kallus, 7.9k    Alexsandr never expected to find peace more terrifying than war. ✦ Hoth is (Not) for Lovers by bar2d2s, zeb/kallus, 1.2k    Hoth is cold and Kallus is miserable. Set only just before Empire Strikes Back. ✦ Falling in Love with the Right Now (Poster Boy) by akaparalian, (pre-)zeb/kallus & ghost crew, 1.6k    Somewhere out there in the galaxy, there's a rebel propaganda artist who deserves a raise. ✦ It Works on You by Kereea, zeb/kallus, 3.2k    Humans and lasats can have very different ideas about what's attractive. Zeb and Kallus still tend to line up by each other's standards. ✦ Warmth by icarus_chained, zeb/kallus, 1.6k    Zeb and Kallus, in the aftermath of Zero Hour. Someone needs to put Kallus back together, or near as can be managed. ✦ Mating Rituals by Velvedere, zeb/kallus & sabine & cast, 4.7k    Zeb has been acting weird lately. Kallus vents to Sabine about it. ✦ in your warmth I forget how cold it can be by dykeannebonny, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 3.6k    "Are you going to kiss me, Garazeb Orrelios?" Alex's lips were parted; he inhaled deeply through his mouth. "I'm thinkin' about it," Zeb said quietly. ✦ What We Want by TheTrashMan (Viraaja), Viraaja, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 12k    Kallus and Zeb realize what it is they want from each other: sex, obviously. ✦ Falling in Love with the Right Now (Poster Boy) by akaparalian, zeb/kallus & phoenix crew, 1.6k    Somewhere out there in the galaxy, there's a rebel propaganda artist who deserves a raise. ✦ The Care and Keeping of Ex-Imperials Who Need Coffee, a Nap, and a Hug in That Order by akaparalian, kallus & phoenix crew (& some zeb/kallus), 8.8k    Five Ghost crew members who helped Alexsandr Kallus, and one who he helped in return. ✦ In the Middle of the Night by bar2d2s, hera & kallus (background kanan/hera & zeb/kallus), 1.8k    When one member of your self-made family is pregnant, you’re all pregnant. ✦ Celestial Navigation by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 1.7k    Kallus doesn't understand why Zeb's not sad. ✦ Untitled Rebels Fic by Mirror and Image, zeb/kallus & cast, 11.6k    Kallus, on Yavin IV, sees a Lasat that isn't Zeb. Things go as expected. ✦ When we have peace by apocrypha73, zeb/kallus, 2.9k    After the Battle of Endor, Kallus and Zeb enjoy the celebration. ✦ The Last Parking Spot on Lovers' Lane by ambiguously, zeb/kallus & hera & cast, 3.7k    All Zeb wants is to find a nice quiet spot to make out. This is not as easy as it should be. ✦ Speculation by Nana, zeb/kallus & ap-5, 1k    "AP-5," Kallus said, "are you under the impression that Captain Orrelios and I are involved, romantically?" "It is common knowledge at the base, sir. You don't have to deny it just because I am a droid." ✦ roisters by spookykingdomstarlight, zeb/kallus, 1.8k    For once, he is willing to put aside his thoughts and act. “Garazeb,” he says, because he is the only one who calls Zeb by his full name and because he’s noticed the way Zeb’s fur ripples in pleasure after he says it and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that means something. “A word?” ✦ in this world by xpityx, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 2.1k    It had been eight months. Eight months since he'd last seen Alex in person. He'd still been Kallus then, had still been convinced that the Ghost crew were taking him to his executioners. ✦ The Sea Has Ten Thousand Names by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 2.6k    Living on a new planet is hard when you don't know the language. ✦ Date Night by ambiguously, zeb/kallus & kanan/hera & jacen, 1.7k    Asking your not-boyfriend out on a date is even harder when he's stuck babysitting for his friends. ✦ Heard It in a Love Song (Can't Be Wrong) by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 2.7k    Kallus can't quite figure out what makes Zeb tick, but he keeps trying. ✦ a more than mutually beneficial agreement by wrennette, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 3.1k    It takes a while, getting ex-Agent Kallus to open up. ✦ Another Mission, Another Mess by icarus_chained, zeb/kallus & kanan/hera & ghost crew, 6.5k    Kallus has been slowly intergrating into the crew when the Ghost is assigned to a normal supply run. The mission goes south, as it usually does, Zeb takes a hit, Kallus doesn't take it well, and the rest of the crew try to pick of the pieces. Another mission, another mess. Just another day on the Ghost. ✦ Rebel Teamwork by sempaiko, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 4.9k    How many Rebels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ✦ Unscheduled Contact by Kala_Sathinee, zeb/kallus & cast, NSFW, 3.4    During a rescue mission, Zeb gets stranded aboard the Chimaera when it jumps to hyperspace. He and Kallus make the most of the time. ✦ just another damn of the damns you're not giving by shades, zeb/kallus & cast, NSFW, 6.8k    The thing is, Zeb’s handsy. ✦ taste of pleasure by wrennette, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 1.2k    The one where Zeb follows through on his idea of fucking Sasha full of come and then eating him out until he cries ✦ Scent Blind by Rachello344, zeb/kallus & cast, NSFW, 4.4k    Alexsandr has been avoiding Zeb since he joined the Rebellion in full, convinced that prolonged contact with the Lasat will prove his undoing. As long as Zeb smells so unfathomably good, he’ll never be able to speak with him casually, especially now that there are no other divides between them. If only Zeb had gotten the memo that Alexsandr was doing this for both their sakes. Unfortunately, it seems Zeb can’t, or won’t, take a hint. ✦ In Your Orbit by LoveCrumb, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 3.2k    After wanting to touch Zeb for so long, Alex reaches up and runs his hands down Zeb’s wide chest. The fur there, like much of his body, is short and thick; it feels velvety as Alex strokes downward, and more textured and coarse on the upstroke. ✦ We Belong Way Down Below by Mithrigil, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 1.6k    Zeb runs into Kallus on a routine mission. He doesn't know how that resulted in both of them getting off, but he's not complaining. ✦ ibac jaon by wrennette, zeb/kallus, nsfw, 3.9k    Fulcrum had given up on being found. ✦ Cogs by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 1.1k    "You brought him home. That makes him yours." ✦ ever so patiently by Anonymous, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 21.2k    Lasat have very peculiar mating habits. No one thought to tell Kallus about that. or: Kallus is the last one to find out he’s being courted.
562 notes · View notes
python333 · 6 months
Note
HAI! i rlly like your platonic 141 fics and I'm wondering if we could get some more dad price and/or brother gaz sleepy cuddles? :3
stretched too thin — python333
— — — —
synopsis gaz notices you overworking yourself one night and decides to step in before you end up pulling an all-nighter.
relationships platonic!gaz & gn!reader.
characters gaz.
word count 2.05k
warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of pet names [love, darling], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].
note oh my god im so sorry i disappeared for like. a month. ill try my best to not be gone for more than a week at a time, but with all of my schoolwork and just over all stress ive been experiencing lately, i dont know if ill be able to get fics out every week :< ill try my best though! please accept this fic as an apology—its another big bro gaz one!! special shoutout to everyone else who has an older sibling thats very distant with them, you and me are in the same boat fr!! also, last thing—im thinking about making a discord server where i announce when fics are being written and published and stuff, but i dunno if yall would join or anything, so if u would pls lmk!!
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You haven’t left your office in five hours. 
Recently—just about two days ago—you finished up an assignment fairly quickly and, as a result, had to write a detailed report of said assignment. It went over the mission you’d gone on, and listed off every major detail you could think of, though because you just can’t give yourself a break you were constantly thinking of other details you might’ve missed even though there was little chance you’d missed anything.
The mission wasn’t anything too important, honestly. It was originally going to be a week-long camp-out reconnaissance by an enemy task force’s base, obtaining information on their schedule and what they did throughout the day and whatnot. However, only a day into the mission, the small squad of soldiers that had accompanied you saw another small military group observing the same group you’d been observing.
So, naturally, you observed them as well. Aren’t you just the best multi-tasker?
The task force eventually found out about the other group, just a day later, while your squad was still in the clear to continue your observations. So, your mission had quickly come to a close—but, because of the circumstances under which the mission had come to a close, you were required to write an extremely detailed report on the other group and the group you’d been observing.
It would be an understatement to say you were tired. You’re exhausted.
Between the non-stop writing, the coffee sitting on your desk that’s been microwaved five times and has been refilled thrice, and the uncomfortable chair you’ve sat in that you have yet to replace, you’re extremely exhausted. Your movements are sluggish, your fingers aren’t as swift on the keyboard of your computer as they usually are, and worst of all—you still have more to write. 
Your eyes stung and felt dry, your hands felt like they were going to stop working completely at any moment, and you were overall just exhausted. 
You look over at the clock on your desk, and it reads 02:28 AM, indicating that you would only have about four hours to sleep if you went to bed now. I’m too far into this report to stop now, You tell yourself, sighing as you blink slowly at your computer screen, If only my vision didn’t keep getting blurry… 
Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door. Your eyebrows furrow together in confusion, and for a second you think you’re hallucinating until the knock sounds once more. 
Reluctantly, with a voice raspy from not using it almost all day, you call out, “Come in!” 
Your voice is softer and quieter than you’d like it to be, but it doesn’t matter too much to you at this moment—at least, not in your foggy mind that still begs you for sleep, even when you have far more of your report to finish. 
The door opens with a creak, and in walks Gaz. 
“Sarg,” He greets you, not bothering to close the door behind him as he walks up to your desk, “Pleasure to see you for the first time in, what… three days?” 
“Two days and eighteen hours,” You correct him, taking a moment to crack your stiff knuckles, not taking your eyes off of your monitor, “And you know you don’t have to call me ‘sarg’ or ‘sergeant’ or anything. We’re the same rank.” 
Gaz promptly ignores you, “Right, well, anything over a day is way too long for me to go without seeing you. Why’re you all cooped up in here on your computer?”
“‘Cause I need to write a report on my assignment,” You briefly explain, before lightly goading Gaz, “Not all of us need a shit ton of attention every day like you do.” 
“Ehh,” Gaz theatrically makes a thinking face, before shrugging, “Not sure what you mean by ‘us’, but alright.” 
“By ‘us’, I mean everyone but you.” 
“Surely that doesn’t include you, right?” 
“It does.” 
Gaz gasps quietly at your reply, before dramatically responding, “Oh, you can’t be serious.”
“I absolutely can,” You hum, finally taking your eyes off of your computer screen to look up at Gaz, “Is it so hard for you to believe that I don’t need to talk to you every waking hour?” 
“It is, actually,” Gaz scoffs, “Because I know that you do need to talk to me every waking hour.” 
“Uh, no I don’t,” You childishly argue, raising an eyebrow at Gaz.
“Uh, yes you do,” Gaz immaturely argues back, crossing his arms, “Look me in the eyes and tell me that the past two days and eighteen hours haven’t been shit because I haven’t given you any attention.”
You open your mouth to form a response but quickly close it, realizing that yeah, actually, I kind of do crave his attention. 
Fuck.
“You’re not the only person that gives me attention,” You point out, hoping to find some way to change the subject.
“Sure, but you like the attention I give you the most,” Gaz hums, leaning forward to rest his crossed arms on your desk opposite of where you sit.
“You don’t know that.”
“Then tell me that I’m wrong,” Gaz challenges you.
You narrow your eyes at him, glaring at him for a moment before sighing, “You suck.”
“Maybe I suck, but you look like you haven’t slept for the past week,” Gaz points out, “You look exhausted, by the way. And dehydrated. Actually, you just look like the human embodiment of a headache.” 
“What the fuck?” 
“I mean that in the most loving, non-offensive way possible.”
“You come into my office, accuse me of needing attention from you, then you insult me by calling me the human version of a headache?”
“It wasn’t an insult!” Gaz raises his hands in surrender, before sighing, “I’m being serious. You look dead, [c/n]. You need sleep.” 
“What I need is to finish this report,” You huff out, beginning to turn your attention back to your computer, before Gaz’s hand is quickly placed on your chin and forces you to look back at him. 
“No, what you need is some rest,” Gaz argues, more serious this time, taking his hand off of your chin—something you shouldn’t miss nearly as much as you do, the warmth of his hand fading far too quickly from your face—and bringing it back to rest on the desk. 
“Maybe you need rest, Gaz.”
“Sure I do,” He shrugs, “But I’m only going to sleep if you do.” 
You raise an eyebrow at him, “Really? You’re pulling that card?”
“I am.” 
You stare at him for a moment, mentally weighing your options, before sighing and bringing your elbows up to the table so that you can place your forehead in your hands.
On one hand, if you stay in your office you can finish up your report before four and then go to sleep, and hope that you magically feel active even with just an hour or two of sleep in the morning. On the other hand, if you go to sleep now, so does Gaz, and then you both get more than just two hours of sleep. 
After another moment of consideration, you huff out a frustrated breath and mutter, “Fine.” 
Gaz smiles down at you and walks around your desk to your side of it, holding out a hand for you to grab to help yourself up from your chair and using his free hand to save your report and power off your monitor. 
You take his hand and stand up, your legs a little weak and balance iffy from sitting down for so long, but within the next few minutes you’re sure you’ll be able to properly walk. You let go of his hand once you’re positive you won’t fall over, and once he sees that you’re able to walk, Gaz silently walks towards the door of your office. Just as quietly, you follow him. 
He turns off the lights for you and lets you walk out of the office first, locking the door from the inside and closing it once you’re out. Once he’s done, he takes the lead again and you follow him down to his sleeping quarters. It’s not too long of a walk there, only two minutes at most.
Once you’re there, Gaz opens the door and lets you walk in first. Once you’re inside and Gaz has closed the door, you shrug off your camouflage patterned jacket and toe off your already loosened tan boots, leaving you in just your camouflage cargo pants and army green undershirt.
You look down at your pants with a frown, knowing from experience that sleeping in them was incredibly uncomfortable and left you regretting your whole existence the morning after, but before you could even look over at Gaz to tell him of your situation, you felt something being thrown at you. 
You immediately turn your attention to the item that had been hurled at you—the item in question being a pair of gray sweatpants, some that would probably be a little bit looser than you’d prefer on your figure—and then look over at Gaz with a questioning look. 
“Figured you wouldn’t wanna sleep in that,” Gaz shrugs, nodding to your cargo pants in response to your nonverbal confusion. 
You hum in appreciation, not wanting to talk too much at the moment, instead waiting for Gaz to look away before slipping off your pants and replacing them with the sweatpants Gaz had thrown at you. The fit isn’t as uncomfortable as you thought they’d be—they’re loose and hang low on your hips, just like you thought they would, of course, but they don’t feel nearly as weird as you thought they would.
Once you’ve tightened the strings on the waist of the pants, you get into Gaz’s bed, pulling the covers up and over yourself. Gaz quickly settles into the bed next to you, quickly getting himself comfortable under the sheets, and pulling the covers up and over his shoulders in one swift movement.
He gets closer to you, so close that his chest presses against your back and you can feel the tip of his nose ghosting over the top of your head. He wraps one arm over your body to pull you impossibly closer to him, and his other arm snakes underneath the side of your body so that both of his arms are wrapped around you.
He hums contently and his thumb rubs small circles into your clothed stomach, the action—despite being small—causing your stomach to warm up almost immediately. 
“Comfortable, darling?” Gaz asks quietly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. 
“Very,” You mumble back, trying to subtly lean your head back against Gaz in hopes of getting at least one more kiss. Noticing your efforts, he huffs out a small laugh and presses another gentle kiss right at the edge of your hairline before pressing one last one to your forehead. 
Even with the comforting atmosphere, you can’t find it within yourself to fully relax, your body still tense and stiff underneath the blanket. Gaz, just like he did with your “subtle” movements, notices and frowns. 
“Just sleep,” Gaz tiredly mumbles into the top of your head, “You have to get up in three hours. The sooner you sleep, the more sleep you get.” 
You don’t respond, instead simply sighing and forcing your eyes closed. You do have to admit, it’s nice being able to actually close your eyes for something other than blinking, and closing your eyes for longer than half a second has made you realize that they were even drier than you thought they were. 
Exhausted and ready to finally sleep, you eventually get to a point where you no longer need to force your eyes shut, and as a result, your whole body relaxes for the first time in almost six hours. 
“G’night, love,” Gaz murmurs, feeling your body relax next to his. You hum in acknowledgment of his words, not finding the energy within yourself to properly respond, instead finding yourself drifting off into a deep sleep. 
And if four hours later, Gaz wakes up and simply lies there, not waking you and instead letting you get some more sleep despite you having to be up soon, nobody has to know.
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octal-alchemist · 2 months
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Want to go on T but hate needles?
I hesitated to start HRT for a long time because of my paralyzing fear of needles, and the stories I heard about testosterone in pill form. However. I'm now 101 days on testosterone!!
Here's my experience with testosterone gel!! (Spoiler: I highly recommend it.)
___________________________________________
At the start, I was applying one pump of gel to each upper arm and using the back of a spoon to spread and rub the gel in (carefully marked "t spoon" and stored with my testosterone gel). I was advised to only use the unbroken skin of my upper arm, and to carefully wash my hands after applying.
(Most side-effects associated with testosterone gel come from accidentally eating it, because most people rub the gel into their arm using their hands. Gel on hands then transfers to mouth. I try to avoid that by applying with a spoon! I do rinse the spoon and wash my hands anyway to be extra safe.)
After rubbing the gel into my arms w the spoon, I held up my arms and walked around T-posing for like ten minutes so that the gel could dry before I put on a shirt.
Initially I wasn't rubbing it in enough with the spoon, and I would see a white film on my skin after drying. Nowadays I rarely see that. The gel smells strongly of alcohol, similar to hand sanitizer, so that's also unpleasant. I've gotten used to it.
For the first week, (and ONLY the first week), I would see a rash appear on my arms after applying the gel. The rash was sudden and painful, but would disappear after 20 minutes. I also experienced two reynaud's attacks while the gel was drying during that first week. (I often have reynaud's attacks when anxious, and it was winter, so I think that's not the gel's fault.)
After that first week I never rashed again, and there haven't been any more reynaud's attacks during application.
What changes have I seen while using t gel?
Voice: After 4 weeks, my voice was noticeably different. Not so much deep, but sort of? wider? and my voice was cracking a lot. In the last 10 weeks it has been becoming smoother, richer, a bit deeper. I absolutely hated my voice four months ago, but now I get a bit of euphoria everytime I hear myself.
Emotions: From weeks 2 to 8, I experienced frequent fits of anger, irritability, crying, and horniness. Very weird to me because I'm usually levelheaded and have no sex drive. However!! in the last six weeks, even though we raised my dose, ive rarely been angry or horny. I also haven't been getting depressed, and increasingly I feel like I can cope with stress. I haven't cried in about five weeks. I spend most of my time feeling content. Every part of me feels better and healthier.
Muscle: I haven't been working out more than usual (oops), but I can see that my arms are becoming more toned. Won't share the photos because they're goofy but I keep doing the 💪 thing at myself while my t gel is drying.
Periods: I have still continued to menstruate regularly, having 3 periods in the last 101 days. My cycles were already on the long side at 35 days. However, those first two periods on T were painless and incredibly short; I bled for two days the first time and 11 hours the second time, and experienced no cramps, no dizziness, no migraines. (The most recent period was two days long but i did have cramps and a migraine T_T. Doc says it's because I raised my dose right beforehand, and I should stop menstruating entirely soon.)
Hair: I already had a bit of scruff on my neck pre-T, but that was mostly just on one side. I now have thick patches of hair under my chin on both sides and the chin itself is starting to fill in. My longest hairs are 5cm but curl. There are coarse hairs appearing by the edge of my lips. I have also noticed that my leg hair is becoming more coarse, and my right nipple has become a forest. Only my right nipple, for some reason! Very few people in my family are bald, but I was still a little worried so I've been keeping track of hair loss on my scalp; however it has been the same amount as usual. Hair still thick.
Blood test results: My pre-T testosterone level was 56. I was told that 2-70 are normal readings for a cis woman. At my 3 month checkup, my testosterone level was 251!! This is still low for a cis man my age (normal is like 650-800), and I wanted a bit more, so the doctor agreed to increase my dose two weeks ago.
Confidence: I am thrilled to see mirrors lately. My jaw seems more defined with the bit of hair to shadow it; my eyes are happier. I keep flirting with myself, partially to hear my own voice. I talk to my students about transitioning, and although a couple have been a bit transphobic, I've been able to laugh about it. I've gone on a couple dates and actually felt attractive and worthy of attention. I feel alive.
Bottomline -
testosterone gel is working wonders for me. I wish I'd known about this nine years ago, when I first tried to go on HRT. Instead, I injected myself with testosterone twice and took myself to the ER over the panic attack I had 🫠 (I don't miss being 19!)
I'm still a stressy motherfucker, and it feels so much safer and more comfortable to apply medicine externally. I know about the dangers of transference, so I apply the gel with a spoon and wear the same long-sleeved shirt throughout the day, careful not to expose others to the gel.
I have so much farther to go, but it actually feels possible now. Easy, even.
If you want to know anything more about this, please, please ask me!! I have anon on, as well!
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dirtybitfic · 22 days
Text
So wrong yet so right part 4
contains- smutt , Dom matt, sub y/n, rouuuuugh, hairpulling, chocking, spanking, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation , use of names like~ baby, slut, sweetheart , good girl. (not proofread )
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Y/n pov-
I wake up early today and went to a water fall with some friends since it so nice outside and we all wanted to have some chill time .
We smoked a bit and just listened to some music .
after a couple hours I had to head home so I could be ready for class tonight. All my friends tried to convince me to skip and hang out longer but I told them that if I skip this class id have to retake it next semester which is the truth but just not all of it .
The full truth is i'm way to excited to see Matt , I haven't stopped thinking about the way he made me feel and how good he looked between my legs . Ive had wet dream about it every night and the build up to seeing him in class today has been eating me alive.
I showered once I got home and threw on a cute but comfortable outfit.
I hopped in my car and sped to class since I didn't realize I had taken such a long shower and am gonna be late for class.
i'm gonna be honest i'm still kind of high from the waterfall earlier. I smoke with friends but my tolerance isn't super high so my highs tend to last longer than my friends.
I grab my bag and speed walk into the building and into the lecture hall . Matt is sitting at his desk as all the students are typing away at their computers .
I sit down a couple rows down closer to the middle of the room and take out my computer .
my phone buzzes in my pocket startling me a bit since the room is so quiet other than keys clicking .
I take it out and check it seeing its a text from matt
I look up at him before I look back down at my phone and open the text
"late to my class thats a call for punishment" it reads my face heats up as I gulp and look at him his eyes study me as his brows furrow .
"are you high right now y/n" my eyes widen . I didn't think it would be noticeable but I guess I was wrong.
I decide to text back and tell the truth .
"just a little bit i'm sorry for being late I lost track of time "
I look back up at him as he stares coldly at me and sets his phone down and looks back at the work on his desk .
I sigh as I start to write my next story.
i'm so entranced by what i'm writing I don't realize Matt is talking .
ms y/l/n I hear a stern voice snap .
my eyes snap up from my computer and I see Matt looking at me I slump in my seat feeling awkward
sorry I say before he starts talking again
so as I was saying class next Tuesday is cancelled so have two stores ready and submitted on Friday the deadline for turn in will be 11:30 okay have a good weekend guys ill be checking my email over the weekend if you guys have question or need help .
he says as everyone packs up and heads out . I sit at my desk about to pack up when I get a text from matt.
"stay in here I want to talk too you"
I sigh as I set it back down and wait for everyone to leave before I get up and head down to where hes standing.
so y/n would you like to tell me why you came to my class not only late but also high he says stepping closer so I have to look up at him.
I- well I went to a waterfall with some friends earlier and we smoked and it lasted a lot longer than expected so I lost track of time in the shower I got here as fast as I could I try to explain but he has an unimpressed look on his face.
hmm well your coming home with me so grab your stuff he says as he goes to his desk packing up his things.
I gulp
w-what why I -
he cuts me off
don't talk back just do as your told he looks at me with a stern look on his face and I instantly make my way but up the steps to pack my things.
he walks up the stairs as I finish packing my stuff and walk over to him and follow him out of the lecture hall .
we make it outside and he leads me to his car . My jaw actually drops .
his car is actually a fucking motorcycle . I never thought he'd be the type to ride a motorcycle but it makes him even more attractive .
you ever ridden one before he ask turning back to me with a helmet in his hands .
I shake my head no as he steps closer slipping the helmet over my head and fastening it tightly .
well don't be nervous you'll be safe I promise he says as he smiles at me .
he throws his helmet on and puts his bag in a compartment he has attached to the back of the bike .
he gets on first and turns to me
okay step up on this part and hold onto my shoulders and swing your leg over so your sitting on this part he says patting the leather seat on the upper back part .
I nod my head and do exactly what he said as I situate myself on the seat.
okay when were actually riding wrap your arms around my waist tightly okay he says as he looks back at me and I nod slowly wrapping my arms around his waste and locking my hands together against his stomach.
he starts up the bike kicking up the stands and pulls out of the spot.
we hit a stop light as we sit waiting for it to turn green I move my hand to his chest gently rubbing up and down feeling his muscles under his black dress shirt.
he groans and leans his head back for a second before looking back at the light .
after a second it turns green and we're off again .
we reach the backroads after about 10 minutes and I hold on tighter as we take the dark windy roads.
I always thought riding a bike would be scary but its actually very calming . The warm breeze feels nice as I blows over us .
I rest my head on his back as I watch the trees blow by .
we reach the turn into his long driveway and we make our way up the hill and reach there front of the house.
He reaches into his pocket and clicks something that opens up his garage as he rides in and comes to a stop turning off the bike .
he puts the kick stand down then helps me off safely and then gets off himself then takes off his helmet then helps me with mine.
so how did you like that he asks smiling as he smooths out my hair
its was actually pretty nice I say smiling up at him
yeah! not so scary as it seems huh
no not at all
good now lets go inside he says as he takes my hand leading me into the door from the garage.
We make our way into the kitchen and he grabs us both a water before handing mine to me and opening his chugging it .
I take a couple sips of mine before setting it on the counter .
soo... why exactly am I here I ask a little confused because I wasn't prepared to be coming here tonight let alone leaving my car on campus.
well I thought it'd be nice to spend time together he says smiling at me
oh I say as a smile creeps onto my face
is that okay
yeah more thank okay I say as he steps closer
good he says before leaning down capturing my lips with his in a sweet slow kiss
he pulls away smiling down at me
so wanna watch a movie he asks with raised brows
yeah sure I beam with a smile on my face .
he takes my hand leading me into a theater room with nice recliner chairs . This house is so nice there is no way the university pays him enough to afford this .
if you don't mind me asking is teaching the only job you have or do you have others cause this house is reallyyyy nice
I teach but I also own a business with my 2 brothers he says smiling at me as he looks through movies trying to pick the right one.
oh cool what's the business I ask as I sit down in one of the chairs .
um well we own 5 hotels , 4 apartment building a couple restaurants and some office buildings.he says nonchalantly like its no big deal.
wow thats... impressive I say as I smile at him
yeah its nice I guess I mean I wouldn't be able to own this house if all I did was teach
I hum in response.
so do your bothers live around here I asks as I lean back in the chair
yeah they have houses close by but they travel around for work so they are back and forth a lot he says as he pops a movie into the player and it displays on the screen.
I gasp when I see he's put 50 shades of grey on . Ive watched it many times but never in the company of anyone else for obvious reasons.
do you have any siblings? he asks as he comes over to me standing in front of me
yeah I have a brother he's around your age
oh nice you guys close?
mmm somewhat we don't talk that much but were as close as brother sister pairs usually are I answer as I look up at him
stand up real quick he says as I borrow my brows but do what he says
he sits down on the chair and pats his lap
sit he demands and I do .
I get comfortable as I lean back into his chest and he reclines the chair back and the movie starts.
halfway through I start to wiggle around getting comfortable but also from slight arousal setting in when the first sex scene plays.
mat groans as he grabs my hips stifling my movements .
Stop moving so much he grumbles into my ear. His voice so low and gravely it has me clenching my thighs.
sorry I say apologetically as I settle back against him .
as the movie goes on the more turned on i'm getting and sitting in his lap is driving me crazy. I shift back as I spread my legs over his own getting comfortable.
his hand moves to my thigh rubbing up and down gently causing me to sigh and lean my head back on his shoulder.
he nuzzles his face in my hair as his hand slides up closer to where I want him most.
doing okay he asks in a tone that tells me he's smirking
mhm I hum as his hand slides up even higher as his fingers graze my clothed pussy.
his hand moves up to my waistband and slides underneath as his hand reaches my soaked pussy.
I whimper quietly and he chuckles a little at my reaction
so wet he says as his hand slides into my underwear and he starts rubbing small circles on my clit
I whine and squirm on his lap as he slides two fingers into me and I cant help the loud moan that escapes my mouth. His fingers speed up pace as i'm panting into his neck .
f-fuck feels so good
yeah am I making you feel good he says in a cocky tone as his other hands goes to pull off my pants and underwear.
mhhhmm I whine as I sick off my pants and spread my legs wider.
he curls his fingers hitting the perfect spot that drives me crazy
f-fuck m-matt oh god I whine as squelching sounds fill my ear signaling i'm close.
yeah that feel good baby he whisper in my ear as he places a kiss on my exposed neck .
s-so good mmm I moan as he keeps moving his fingers expertly
f-fuck im go-gonna cum I moan out as I feel the pressure close to breaking.
you got it baby come on he whispers to me in a husky voice that has the pressure instantly breaking and my juices to squirt out all over the chair , his lap and hand and my thighs.
fuck thats so hot he groans as he works me through my orgasm
je-jesus christ I whine as I come down and he stops his movements pulling his fingers out .
be a good girl and clean them off for me he says placing them on my lips I open my mouth and such my juices off of them with a moan.
stand up he orders and I do . He pulls my top off then his own shirt and pants.
he sits and pulls me onto his lap as his large hard on pulses under me
I pull him to me by his hair into a hot and needy make-out . His hands move to my ass making me grind onto him making us both groan into the kiss.
The pressure his dick is putting on my clit has me whining into the kiss since i'm sensitive from my last orgasm.
we both pull away panting .
think you can handle riding me sweetheart he asks in a sickly sweet voice .
I nod and pull myself up so he can slide his boxers down
he slides then down as his dick slides out slapping his lower stomach as mine drops from the size of him. He's thick and pretty lengthy a lot bigger than anyone i've had in the past which makes me a bit nervous.
what's the matter he ask as his hands move to his base
n-nothing your just really big I say as I look into his eyes
he smirks at me as his eyes glisten with lust
I know you can take it baby come on he says as he spits down onto his dick and spreads it around then lines the tip to my entrance .
I slowly slide down with a hiss as I stretch around him . He groans as his grip on my hips tightens.
fuck your so tight he says as I whimper when I slide down over the thickest part . Im still shocked he isn't fully in yet given I already feel so full but after a couple more second I reach his base and gasp.
f-fuck I whine as I try and move my hips but the stretching pain still hasn't settled yet
its okay baby take your time he says as he rubs softly on my hips soothing me a bit.
I stay still for about a minute before I start slowly bouncing and the pain is gone and all I feel is pure pleasure
fuck so deep I moan as I bounce harder and skin slapping together can be heard
fuck just like that doing so good for me he groans as his hands move to my ass slapping it adding more pleasure .
I continue bouncing on him as I feel my orgasm rushing in and the pressure builds in my stomach.
fu-fuck im so close I whine as my hips stutter and my breathing execrates the closer I get.
yeah feels good fucking yourself on my cock like a good little girl he asks in a gravely voice that has me getting even closer as my legs start to shake .
so good fuck so fucking good oh god I moan as I lift off and my juices squirt out of me all over his dick and down my thighs .
good girl fuck cumming already he teases in a low voice .
I whine as I sit back down on his soaked lap .
legs tired sweetheart he asks as he tilts his head and smiles .
I nod my head and he picks me up and walks to to the door opening it then making his way down the hall to stairs leading up .
he walks carefully up the stairs then reaches another hall leading to double doors . Opening them it enters into a master bedroom .
he walks over to the bed laying me down on my back and pulling me so my ass in right on the edge .
He slaps his dick on my pussy causing me to moan .
He slides back in slowly before slamming himself into me deep and rough causing me to scream.
J-JESUS CHRIST
he smiles down at me as he pounds into me hitting my spot every time .
such a little slut taking my cock so well he says as he leans down to suck on my tits.
I feel myself getting close to squirting again and try to warn him but no words come out just desperate whines and moans.
I grasp his arm tightly as I feel my juices pour out of me and he groans
such a slut squirting all over my dick like that he mewls as he lifts my legs over his shoulders hitting even deeper .
FUCK - I-C-CANT YOUR TOO DEEP I scream out as he continues slamming into me so hard you can see a bulge in my stomach . I try and push him way by his chest but he just grabs my arms and pins them down easily overpowering me .
nah uh your gonna fucking take it like a good girl until i'm filling up this pretty pussy he growls as I moan and whine under him and my legs begin to shake before I release all over him again.
good girl keep fucking cumming only makes me wanna fill you up more he groans as he drops my legs and pulls out flipping me over so im laying flat on the bed he comes behind me slamming back in as he grabs my hair pulling my head up.
im moaning and whining unable to speak as overstimulation settles over me and tears well in my eyes.
who's pussy is this he groans into my ear as his thrusts get harder.
y-yours FUCK MATT -all yours I moan / scream out as he hits deeper and my ass presses back into him.
mmm that fucking right your all mine he groans as his hips art to loose rhythm and he smalls into me a couple more times before filling me up.
he pulls out groaning at the sight off his cum spilling out of me
you did so good baby he says before kissing my head and walking to the bathroom and coming back with a rag to clean me up.
you okay he asks as he cleans my legs off
mhm im great I say with a smile . He chuckles before he stands back up and throws the rag In his laundry .
he comes back and lays down pulling me into his chest .
tired sweetheart he asks in a sweet and soft voice .
yeah exhausted I say as I nuzzle into his chest .
lets get some sleep well shower in the morning he says before he shuts off the lights by the bed and we drift off to sleep.
tags~
@sophia-77n @riasturns @milasturniolo @junnniiieee07 @blahbel668 @sturnsjtop @skyslondon
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enbesbians · 4 months
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just a little ramble because im confused and unsure if im getting the wrong idea…
my boss is a very mean woman. the place ive been working at ive worked for almost two years and from the time spent, all i hear from other managers and coworkers is that she’s an asshole. they’d tell me the thing she does and wrongly accused and it’s like, damn? she’s really fucked up….
with that being said, she’s a tiny woman. older but not elderly— a mom with a husband but all she ever does is talk shit about the guy. i don’t work with her as often since shes usually there in the mornings and im at night but every time i work with her she’s oddly nice to me. she jokes around with me a lot… not causally… a lot. whenever we do work at the same time, she places me in an area that’s close to hers and she’s always talking to me about something random or asking about me. one time she was saying, “oh i wish we worked together more often” and at that point i started thinking of the wrong idea… but the again she’s married.
i ask other managers if i fuck up a lot because she’s always telling people what they don’t do right and each one of them say, ‘you’re doing fine. she doesn’t talk bad about you at all.’ which i find weird because there’s places where i lack… i could be a little bit faster with what i do and speed is one of our biggest goals but she says im doing fine whenever i personally ask her even though there would be people performing better than me and she complains to them.
she doesn’t help out as much but when we work together she’s constantly helping me and picking stuff up after me and making little playful jokes opposed to being very passive aggressive with other people… the tone of her voice is very telling too. she’ll talk to other coworkers in a way where i think, ‘damn… you’re gonna let her talk to you like that?’. she drops things and bends down right in front of me and touches my waist when she passes by me. she even laughs in a way that’s really loud and dramatized when i say something.
she’s given me a ride twice and she’d ask me about myself. i mentioned that i was a lesbian and she said she knew???? she told me she could tell and then started talking about relationships rather than work. she’s given me her leftover food at times when im at break, willingly buying a certain type of food for me when i was talking to coworker and she wasn’t even in the conversation.
another thing is when it comes to scheduling, she assigns them. for the people she doesn’t like she barely puts them on… yet there’d be times where id work almost eight days straight. since the day i worked there people talked about our hours being cut after the holidays yet mine never was. i still work a whole fucking lot and when i ask for days off, she doesn’t think twice before letting me have those days… even when i call off she’s not mad????
just last night, before i came into work, my work wife told me that she was being a complete ‘bitch’. being snarky and agitated towards everyone but once i came in she was all bubbly and happy. still doing that playful banter she likes to do. she compared our heights, made everyone do my work (which i hate because im like working when im in the mindset to). two coworkers came up to me and asked why she was being so nice to me and one of the said, ‘i think she has a thing for you’. i was relieved that i wasn’t the only one who noticed.
am i just going insane or…?
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ppumeonae-bigvibe · 14 days
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"then...can i love you now?"
↖ navigation: enhypen masterlist || main masterlist
pairing: childhood younger brother! jungwon x childhood older sister! reader
↬ tags: childhood neighbours troupe, age gap mentioned (i was thinking of a 5 to 7 year age gap since that would make sense for the setting ive created), reader is a working individual with jungwon as a student, heeseung mentioned to be reader's boyfriend
summary: "i'll hold my breath as i wait for your answer, i'll leave it up to you. tell me whether it's yes or no: baby, love me or leave me tonight" - taken from day6 love me or leave me
word count: 928 words
a/n: it was only after i gave it a title that i realized it was greatly inspired after love me or leave me by day6 the line "do you even love me now?" (bomb ahh song) ++ i hope i was able to convey the yearning of an unrequited love and dabble in some age gap factor...
i don't suppose this piece of mine is gonna do well but i wanted to pour out a little of my own experience...i did want to write a backstory but mmm i shall leave it for now,,
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ever since jungwon met you, he's never took his eyes off you. attached to your hip, he developed a big fat crush on you, his nuna* (older sister in korean). this crush was something he thought he would outgrow, but to no avail his developing feelings never went away, lasting for as long as he knew you for.
jungwon was that little neighbor boy that always asked you to marry him. now that he is all grown up, he wistfully hopes he has a chance with you, even though you never spared him a second glance: treating him just like a younger brother.
he snaps out of his thoughts when you playfully ruffled his hair, the affectionate gesture causing him to be hyperaware of your presence. it was after hours and jungwon had came over to your workplace to fetch you so that the two of you could go home together. he was waiting for you at the lobby, eyes trained on you the moment you stepped out of the lift.
"jungwon-ah, are you okay? shall we go home?" he faintly blushed under your attention, nodding his head.
home, huh? he wishes that you would visit your hometown more often. in all technicality, you two have been neighbors for the longest time; both your parents and his being best friends meant that you two naturally grew up together. having each other in the other's house wasn't uncommon too, you being best friends with his older sister meant he got to see you around.
"i'm good. oh, and this is for you, nuna." he sticks out a paper bag and you received it gratefully, a beam on your face. he tames his expression, deciding to give you a cheekily smile to hide how fast his heart was beating.
you huffed, laughing at his playful smirk, "isn't this my favorite? my jungwonie is all grown up now. you didn't spend too much on this right?"
he had started working a part-time job at a cafe near your office, since his school term was officially over and he was waiting for the next semester to start. what you didn't know was that jungwon practically begged the store owner to let him work here so he could see you more frequently.
not that you needed to know.
"it's okay, it wasn't much. i just..." know how much you like these pastries to not want to treat you to something. in fact he knew your favorite order down to the exact combination you like your drinks and dessert.
he bites back the rest of the sentence, lamely finishing with a "i thought you might want some". it wasn't entirely the truth since he was the one that saved it for you.
lighthearted chatter bounced back and forth, you asking about his plans for the next semester of school and him being curious about what you do at work.
"nuna, what happened to heeseung hyung? i haven't seen him in a while..." jungwon suddenly blurted out, catching you unaware. the casual breeze was deafening and the silence from you made him apologize profusely, "ah...uh...sorry nuna, i was..."
"it's just...heeseung wants to breakup. things weren't working out." you mumbled soullessly, and jungwon was torn between being sorry for your loss and being happy that you were single now. you took a look at him, a wry smile on your face, "don't stare at me like that. you resemble a rain-drenched kitty."
under the dim street lights, jungwon realizes how small you looked. he remembers how he always relied on you, always choosing to unapologetically stick to you like a little bugger.
you're his role model and especially when jungwon was sad it was you whom he seeked: jungwon wished that he could have protected you from this failed relationship and heartbreak.
jungwon remembered when he attended your university graduation a year back: you had shyly introduced heeseung to your family and jungwon just had to be there to witness how easily heeseung fit in. to say he was envious was an understatement.
out of jealousy, he dragged you to one side with the excuse to take a picture with you: a heartfelt yet desperate 'i still like you very much, nuna' leaving his lips. you didn't know how to respond to him so jungwon hastily turned around, congratulating you again before disappearing on you. he didn't like that heeseung guy: the vibes were all...wrong.
he didn't want to see your expression, much less hear what you have to say. he knew he didn't stand a chance then when age was a factor, but now...
"nuna, if heeseung hyung can't love you, then...can i love you now?"
silence blanketed the two of you after his proclamation, his persistent gaze met with your hesitant ones.
"jungwon-ah…" you started but he cut you off, his heart pounding in his chest.
"please, nuna! don't tell me...i'm not old enough or i deserve someone else my age. i still want you very much, and i'll never stop loving you even after all that." jungwon exhales, pouring his heart unto you.
mixed emotions that flashed through your eyes and you stood there, the no-longer small jungwon a grown up in your eyes.
"one chance."
he widened his eyes at your words: a sliver of an opportunity given to him. reaching out to grab your hand, sincerity zings through him and he pulls you into a hug, afraid that you would spot the unshed tears in his eyes.
"i'll show you that i can love you better than anyone you've been with."
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@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3
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peachywontyell · 5 months
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ive had this bouncing around in my head for a while, so here we are.
i am a sucker for pretty boys with kind brown eyes and jaime fits that description perfectly...so i decided to give him a lot of pining (that is definitely reciprocated), he has to be a big brave boy and confess 🫶🏾 also, this is placed before the events in the movie !
inspired by
hanging out with jaime has always been very warm, cozy, comfortable. ever since you were children when you'd spend weekends riding your bikes around the neighborhood, only to crash at one of your houses after having way too much food. it happened so frequently that it got to the point where it just was the new normal for both of your families (impromptu get togethers were very common).
the friendship you guys had only grown stronger with each year that passed and well- there were definitely feelings there that weren't strictly platonic now. you were trying your hardest to push them away though, and jaime was having the same issues...however neither of you dared to even threathen the sanctity of the bond shared by confessing. that is until one summer came along, you guys had gone to different universities, and even though you called and texted daily, summer was when you guys could actually hang out like the old days. and here you were, having gone to pick up jaime from the airport with the rest of the reyes. as he walked through the gate you let his family say their hellos first- it's safe to say he almost drowned in hugs and kisses, and when you finally got to say hello you didn't hold back with the bear hug either.
you missed him dearly, and the weird feeling of anxiety, excitement and happiness settled in your stomach as he squeezed you back and actually just fully picking you up. it made the feeling in your stomach even stronger.
"JAIME DIOS MÍO BÁJAME"
"Que no, don't wanna"
"okay so if that's how this is gonna go, cárgame bien, señor"
suddenly you guys were in your own world, talking and laughing and everyone could clearly see what was happening here. milagro was gonna have a field day with the teasing as soon as she had a chance. he ended up putting you down- but only after he carried you all the way to the car. it was embarrassing yes, but now as embarrassing as the older couple that chuckled as you walked past and talked to themselves in hushed voices about 'how sweet young love is' and how they wished they could go back in time and experience it all over again.
that got you both blushing...and made the drive back home for lunch a bit...strange. nothing really changed, you still sat together and chatted, but jaime couldn't stop thinking about what they had said. did you guys actually look like a couple? should he had said something to them? the fact that he didn't mind if they thought so made him feel warm and fuzzy.
two weeks pass, and while you've somehow managed to push away those fuzzy feelings, things have definitely flipped for jaime- and milagro did not help one bit. she woke up much earlier than he did, you did too, and it usually meant that as soon as he walked out into the kitchen he'd see you just having breakfast.
"buenas morning" you say, trying not to laugh cause his hair looked bonkers, but even if you found it hilarious, it was still endearing, and the fuzzy feelings you had to fight every single day before meeting him were back and they were looking for vengeance. and when he almost put his full body weight on top of you for a hug not caring that you were in the middle of eating? well, you felt like you were going to die. "mornin...." he didn't move off. "jaime." "Hmmm?" "get off of me and go shower, tenemos que encontrarnos con el grupo in like an hour". with one last, extremely dramatic sigh, he moves off and does as told. it's not like he didn't want to spend the day with you and some of your other friends, they were his friends too, but he would much rather stay in and chill.
not even two hours later and you guys are at the little picnic area everyone agreed to meet up at, playing silly games, chatting and just catching up! and jaime just wasn't feeling it, he couldn't really pinpoint the reason why until he sees how talkative and close you are with one of the guys there. okay. that's fine. it's just a hangout, nothing is happening, you definitely aren't flirting with him. thank god someone called the guy over cause he didn't know how much he could take.
"so how'd the flirting go?" he thought he sounded casual, calm, normal. he did not sound casual, calm or normal. he sounded upset and looked like a sad dog. "what flirting- what the hell happened to you? why do you look so sad? ¿qué pasó?" "hm? nothing." he shook his head, making you squint. okay, if he didn't want to tell you, then you'd just come up with absurd reasons as to why he would be upset. "¿tas celoso?" funny how you got it right first try. you don't know that, though. "what? no- ¿qué?" he prays to god the blush creeping up his neck isn't noticeable, prays it doesn't betray him. "Ayyyyy si es eso you don't have to be, tu sabes que you're irreplaceable" you laugh and god is definitely on his side cause you're called over a few second later by someone of the order people and he can feel his heart beating so fast he fears its gonna burst through his chest.
the hangout went by smoothly, he genuinely couldn't be happier, even if at first he didn't want to be there. he has to admit, he did miss his friends, so he's glad he could spend some time with them. now you guys are laying on his bed, chismeando and just debriefing when the topic of him being "jelous" came up again. maybe he could just do it. he knew it was risky, but....he was willing to take the chance. "....you know what? maybe i was. maybe i was very jelous, maybe i still kind-of am." he felt you sitting up and all he could do was pull a pillow over his face and keep this shit rolling "you've always made me feel so comfortable and...warm, and ive always loved you, but at some point i think it turned into love...? does that make sense- no- it's fine- okay- look i just- de verdad que me gustas mucho y pues no sé- i don't wanna fuck this up aunque creo que ya lo jodí-" he huffs and sits up to face you, looking embarrassed and flustered "you're so special to me and i really don't want to mess up the friendship we have, okay? but i'd just...i'd really like to be yours."
you aren't sure if you should just kiss him or shake him by the shoulders. so you settle for taking his hand in yours, feeling your face grow warmer- if that's even possible after that confession. "jaime, look at me." that boy is holding onto the pillow for dear life, using it to still obscure his face while he shakes his head. he's trembling. you use your other hand to grab his face and look at you "please, just kiss me" "really?" "si-" and he does, like he's been starving. he almost doesn't let you pull back even though you both need to breathe. "jaime mi amor, you will always be my favorite pretty boy and im so happy i can finally tell you."
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sinon36 · 14 days
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Ghost x undercover!reader (HC) Part IV
warnings: violence, blood, mistakes, badly written British speech, I got some inspiration from The Rookie for the undercover part
P.S. I loved Frenchie from The Boys and I just couldn’t help myself. Apologies 😊
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI
- the fourth time you meet it’s no longer up to chance but up to your discretion
- the last mission scored you one of the most prized rewards in your field: a golden ticket; basically you get permission to retire from your field an choose another with less risk and a larger pay check, a “thank you gift card” from the director of the MI6, the King and England herself; it’s a type of mobility many dream of, having checked off the bucket list almost dying in al sorts of crazy situations and the young adventurous attitude toward danger having morphed into a veteran hesitant mentality; you are given plenty of time to decide where you want to go       
- a month later you hear rumours of a task force newly formed, one-four-one they’d call it; cheesy you think not really giving anymore attention; and then the briefing about some partnership between under cover specialised agents and this mystery task force for a top tier mission; you think about it, you haven’t had any action in three months now and anymore desk work will drive you up a wall if it continues; you skim over the file on the task force with disinterest, mostly because task forces like these were made up of brutes, eager to pick fights with the enemy and partially because most of the words had been redacted; a few are left out in the open among the sea of black ink: task force, covert mission, high-performance, low collateral casualties, you hum in thought
- what makes you not only volunteer with a manic grin, but actually consider having found the place for your relocation; under the captain’s name John Price, follow three more names; the last two are unknown to you and unimportant, two Sergeants, one John ‘Soap’ MacTavish, and another Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick; but the one is impossible to mistake: Lt. Ghost; no first name, no last name; the only person whose file you ever read to bear that name.
- your application for the mission gets accepted almost instantly your reputation proceeding you almost any briefing room now; you’re informed that you’ll depart within the hour and other things you need to know about it; nothing really matters as you know you’ll get the chance to confront that knobhead that has plagued all your waking hours and some dreams with his obscure choice of words as you departed;
- you’re ready in 30, not really owning much and usually being moved from HQ to HQ, or base, or house within small time frames, which doesn’t allow for many personal things anyway; you wait in the shade, dragging from a cigarette, to pass the time, until the heli lands on the heli-pad; you don’t get to wait much, the pilot is here a little early; good; you don’t like to wait
- the flight is short the base not, far from the MI6 HQ; you pass the time reading a book you took, some title that caught your attention at the library across the street of where you usually buy cigarettes; the story doesn’t raise to your expectations, the writing style is mediocre and the characters have as much depth as a glass of water; you contemplate throwing it out the window, but refrain when the pilot announces ETA: less than 5; you hum heart beating a little quicker at the excitement you feel for finally being able to decipher the meaning behind those blood words
- as soon as the heli touches down on tarmac you’re out the door, no words of goodbye to the pilot; he’s used to it’
- the welcoming committee consists of the two Sergeants, now finally connecting faces to the names you read on the files; they’re casual in your attitude towards you which is a little invigorating, but they wouldn’t drop the “ma’am”; they’ll get over it; you’re probably a little older than them
- John ‘Soap’ MacTavish is chatty Scott, who’s a little to nosy for your liking, but within reasonable limits; you’re not sure if is actually trying to charm the pants off of you or that’s just how he is usually, throwing compliments left and right, but those have no effect on you and slide right off without much care; he sports an unusual haircut for some of the strictest branches of army that’s ever existed, SAS you see the patch on his shoulder, and a wacky tattoo representing the Task Force 141 insignia on his huge forearm
- Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick is almost opposite to “Soap”, he’s more laid back, observing more than talking, making small comments when the Scott’s cascade off words gets interrupted, chuckling at his comrade poor attempts at complimenting you; he’s not as well built as Soap, but he stands a couple inches taller than you
- ‘He’s always like that?’ you direct your attention to “Gaz” as the two of them walk in front of you like two loyal guard dogs
- ‘Yes ma’am, though he get’s easier to ignore with time.’ You both chuckle, a huge disservice to the Scott that protests ‘Oi’ followed by a 'What's that suppose tae mean?' in the thickest Scottish accent you’ve had the chance to hear
- ‘You’re bothersome, bruv.’ Soap hits Gaz’s shoulder in brotherly fashion and the playful banter begins; you tune them up, and think about finally getting to change out of your civilian clothes and into something blacker, more unflattering and less eye catching than the light blue skinny jeans that have managed to flare out more than one whistle as you passed; arseholes and jar-heads come to the forefront of your mind
- you’re led first to your room and left there with the promise that one of them, most likely Soap, cause he already volunteered to do it, will come collect you for the briefing before supper
- you’re left alone to install, unpack, get changed and unwind from the irksome travel and the fact that you are being watched like deer in the headlights, fresh faces always attract the interest of the crowd in places like this
- the walk towards the briefing room is short but Soap manages to pour so many words in that interval that you’re almost sure he’s going to run out; once inside Soap’s chatter dies down and you make eye contact with the captain
- John Price gives off the energy of a strong father figure, his facial hair adding to his age; he not much older than you but the stress of leadership is visible on his face, eyes winged with crow’s feet; he gives a tight-lipped smile and a curt nod as you and the sergeant enter; he waits for Gaz to join you before he begins the briefing
-   as for the hulking beast of a man, clad in black, brown eyes surrounded by black army issued face paint and hidden behind that grotesque mask of his, oh no, you haven’t miss him, just ignored him; you felt his gaze burning your skin, searching for eye contact, which you vehemently denied; suffer just like I did, bloke
- Gaz comes in and is witness to the unthinkable; you the new face, pretty one might say without lying, so much different from these hardened man, more in common with the civvies than them, go and sit right next to Ghost, no space left in between the two of you; and what’s even crazier, you don’t acknowledge him; Soap and Gaz share a look; the captain seems amused by your actions and the sergeants confusion; no one, absolutely no-fucking-body ever sat next to Ghost, willingly and without starring dumbly and frightened at him; no one, never
- you take your seat, and place your notebook and pen neatly in front of you, facing the whiteboard as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened; the two chaps sit down slowly, eyes trained on you half expecting you to realize your mistake and jump out of the chair; but you surprise them once again when you finally decide to meet the glare directed at you head on and to crack a smirk at the lieutenant
- their minds are blown, mouth open in disbelief, they glance at one another; their minds are set, you get labelled as the agent who clearly lost their mind somewhere in some gone wrong mission; they’ll bombard you with questions later
- as for Ghost, he’s as still as puma waiting to spring to attack; if looks could kill, you’d be disintegrated to the last atom; you’re as unbothered as a new born foal, unaware of its impending doom
- Price clears his voice, catching your attention and diminishing the tension that clouds around the semicircle table
- he makes an introduction for you, stating the reason you’re here, and what you’re specialized in: undercover espionage; you give a nod to all the men
- on a laptop in the furthermost side of the table a connection is established and a blonde American woman greets you; she’s CIA, their handler and yours for the upcoming mission; you have no qualms to work with the other most prominent intelligence agency, the one from over the pond, as long as you get to do your job as you know best; you feel the respect the men have for her and the fondness in the captain’s eyes once they greet each other; they’re old friends, that much you can tell   
- you decide you’ll respect Kate Laswell and trust her, as much as one can trust when one builds their carrier on lying to others and distrusting everyone; she’s pleasant so far, familiar with the men, and cuts straight to the chase just how you like it
- the target is one drug overlord who decided to take things up a notch and deal in arms with terrorists; the goal: disrupt the block-chain and cut the heads off the snakes; simple enough nothing that you haven’t tackled before
- you’re given green light to propose how to approach and infiltrate this business; you explain that you have to get quite high in their hierarchy if you want a shot at real damage; you skim over the information available on his deals: fentanyl, the most recent drug that’s flooded the streets; you know how to “cook” it from a previous cartel you took down; you’ll enter as just that “a cooker”, but you’ll also need a bodyguard to make yourself seem more important, but more on that later; you point out the name of the current one, the first target
- if you manage to get that person out of the game, you’ll have a chance to fill that spot, maybe the most important chain link in the whole operation
- you already have in mind the persona you’ll assume, a chemistry drop-out that took to cooking drugs; you know that your skills far surpass the target’s and you know how to cook a purer form of fentanyl; as for your bodyguards’: a crook; fresh out of prison on the lookout for work that pays well; one with knowledge of guns and explosives, surely to pique the terrorist cell’s interest in their skill
- Soap offers for the role, impressed so far with your knowledge and method of operating; you’re through, and he’d like to learn more on infiltration; you agree hearing he’s got what it takes to be convincing enough
- Laswell, Price and Gaz all hum in agreement at your plan waiting to hear their part in it; simple: Laswell can help with credentials and all the raw materials you’ll need to pull this off; Gaz, the captain and Ghost will be your back up, providing fire power
- the first target is easy to take down: he’s a middle-aged creep, who likes pretty young women and heavy drinks, parties like he’s twenty not fifty something; they already have info on his preferred hotspots; you’ll go in lure him out for the men to bag him and make him disappear
- everyone agrees so far adding small details here and there; it’s only your first few hours or so and every single one understands why you’re held in so high regard; it’s all warranted
- Ghost is the only one who hasn’t said anything, allowing you to direct the briefing, already know you’re more than capable and have far more experience with such delicate planning
- once everything is settled you start planning out the preparations you’ll need to make beforehand; Soap will train under your supervision; you point out he already looks the part, a delinquent; the comment lacks any trace of ill intent, but everyone can’t help but chuckle at his huff of indignation followed by ‘ ’M not’; you sweeten the deal praising his charming nature and easy-going attitude; he smiles at that but it’s short lived by your next comment
- ‘You'll do fine as long as you let me do the talking. I doubt you calling anyone 'bonnie lass' will get you very far.’ That gets everyone to let out a chuckle, everyone knowing Soaps anticks; even Ghost lets out a grunt reminiscent of a laugh; the bruised ego Scott follows up with a ‘Pish off’ that’s met with laughter from you; you let the insult roll off in good humour
- the briefing ends, Laswell disconnects, and the rest of you stand up to make your way to the mess hall in time for dinner; Price holds you back, and you obey; you talk a little, mostly him, praises fly at you, for good planning, attention to details and overall how well you managed to fit in with them in such a short time; you thank him, having heard this all the time; you try, really hard, to be pliant and easy to work with; no need to be a hard-ass; you’re all on the same side
- he agrees with your well-spoken point of view; but he can’t help but ask what’s the deal with you and Ghost
- ‘Worked together before. We get along well.’ Your answer seems to put at ease some of his worries about the teams chemistry; with that out of the way he leads you to the mess hall where he gets you to sit with them at the table; you can feel everyone else’s eyes on you as the new face of the 141’s; but you ignore them chatting with “your” team; you kind of like the sound of that; you can quite imagine working along side them for the rest of your carrier, however short, as you know the death rates among undercover agents grow the further they go; very few get to retire in one piece, actually you can count them on one hand, at least the ones they tell you about at the academy
Previous part here.
Next part here.
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