#this horse doesn't really have a name since he's just my spare | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

animatorweirdo · 3 months

Text

Into the dark

You end up as a prisoner to a group of orcs, who were trying to escape to the north. Unfortunately for them, the spirit within you decided to come out and claim its first victim.

Warnings: violence, bruises, reader being a bit snarky with her captors, being cold, nightmares, getting shot with a gun, hiding things, blood, and screaming.

Chapter 9

----------------------------------------

The brew was boiling above the little flames. Camilla carefully mixed in the crushed leaves and made the final touches. She picked up the pot and poured the liquid into a mug, letting it cool off as she cleaned up the workplace and grabbed the mug, walking out of the tent.

Walking out of the tent with the hot brew, she was then stopped by Faye, who looked panicked. "Camilla. Have you seen (Name)? I can't find her anywhere," she asked. "She's not available at the moment. She got rather feverish, so I'm bringing her medicine to help her feel better," Camilla explained. "A fewer? The last time I saw her. She was nearly cold as ice. I was going to bring her some medicine, but then she just vanished," Faye explained. "Well, thank you for your help, but we have it under control. She's currently resting," Camilla answered before her eyes noticed Maglor walking into the camp, bruised up and in a hurry.

When his warriors noticed him, they stood up as he spoke to them and his second-hand man Rhaon. Camilla then watched as his warriors suddenly dropped everything, grabbed their equipment, and ran to their horses – indicating something serious had happened. She had a slight feeling it had something to do with you.

Maglor then approached her with an apologetic look. "Lord Maglor, what happened?" she asked. "An ambush, but not only that — the orcs had taken (Name) as captive," he answered. "They what?!" Camilla nearly screamed while a horrified gasp left Faye. Maglor shook his head. "I'm really sorry. They took us by surprise. I tried to defend her, but they took her when I wasn’t looking," he said.

"Oh no—" Faye uttered in horror. "Shit—" Camilla silently cursed before looking at him. "My lord... can we talk somewhere private?" she asked, walking away. Maglor followed her without a question.

They walked behind the healer's tent, and after Camilla checked that no one was around to listen, she grabbed Maglor with her free hand and brought him to her eye level.

"Tell me everything that happened?" she demanded.

Maglor looked at Camilla with a startled look after being suddenly pulled down, but quickly collected himself.

"We were talking, but then (Name) stood up, saying she was hearing more than four heartbeats, and then the orcs arrived and attacked us. I fought them off, but one of them sneaked upon (Name) and took her. I tried to interfere, but they jumped me before I could do anything," Maglor motioned at his bruises. Camilla hissed. "Shit, shit, shit! If (Name) doesn't get the medicine in time, she will end up turning and going wild," she explained.

"Can her curse take over during daylight?" Maglor asked. "Not maybe during the day when it's hot, but when it's night and cooler..." she looked at him. "...The beast will be free to do anything it wants in a less warm environment," he finished.

"Exactly, and since you have seen firsthand what her curse can do. You know what kind of things might happen, right?" she asked.

"Luckily, there are more orcs in these woods and further lands thanks to the Sudden flames, so I think any casualties might be spared," Maglor explained. "Maybe, but (Name) told me the beast does not like the taste of orcs, which should not be possible, so let us just hope no idiot will end up as her next meal," Camilla replied.

"Fuck—!" she cursed. "Can this day get any worse?"

The forest grew thicker. The trees above you nearly covered the whole forest, barely allowing any light to pass through. It was a lot cooler as well. It would have been nice if an orc was not dragging you. The bloody creature had also tied your hands tight enough to bruise your skin. You decided to play nice and follow the orc after getting tired of trying to struggle yourself free.

The orc took you to a small cave with a camp set up on front. The trees covered the surroundings, so you doubted you would be easily found. You mentally whined when you saw more orcs and a big one who looked obviously mean. You had no doubts that this guy was the leader because if there was something you learned during your time as a prisoner in Maglor’s old fortress. It was that the big ones were usually in charge. You already disliked where this was going.

"What is this?" the big orc motioned at you after you two stopped before him. "If this is supposed to be food — you brought a measly one. This one has barely any meat in its bones," he pointed at you. You frowned. "Well, fuck you too–" you said back, already disliking his use of the word 'it' like you were a thing and not a person.

"Not food," the orc behind you answered. "As you can see, this is a healer. The elves value their healers, so if we trade this one for our safe pass back to Angband – we will be left unharmed and alive," he explained. You rolled your eyes at the plan. "A far-fetched plan, but it might work. Well done," the big orc said. "Thank you, boss," the orc behind you grinned at the praise.

"Fat chance! The elves will kill you either way," you stated.

"Shut it, wench! You should know better than run that little mouth of yours," the big orc barked at you.

"And you! should know better than try to deal with pissed-off Noldor elves," you said. "They will most likely kill you on sight and then ask questions later," you added.

"We will see since we have your life in our hands. Don't you want to return safely home? I'm certain someone from one of those flesh bags will find value in you for you to be rescued," the big orc questioned. "Yes, but I can hardly see that. I'm just one healer, not a noble," you said.

The big orc growled in annoyance, giving you a certain amount of satisfaction. In certain cases, you should never provoke your captors, but since you have gone through something like this before— you hardly gave a damn.

"Tie her up!" the big orc ordered, and two of the smaller orcs grabbed you, pulling you down against a tree stump before starting to tie you against it with a rope. You didn't struggle but groaned when they tied the rope tightly, nearly crushing your ribs. The pain was so potent you had to scream.

"Okay! I'm not going anywhere! Lose the rope a bit!" you screamed at the two orcs, who only loosened the rope to let you breathe. "Fuck!" you cursed as the pressure became lighter.

They then left you against the tree stump, continuing their business and plans to escape to the north. They spoke in the black tongue, so you could hardly understand what they were saying. It was boring to watch them, so all you could do was anxiously watch as the sun began to hide behind the trees. You didn’t need to guess how long it would take for the night to arrive because the sky was already turning dark and the air cold, freezing even. The bloody orcs did not bother to tie you near the campfire, so you were shivering against the moist tree stump you were forced to sit against.

You tried to keep some warmth by rubbing yourself with your hands and controlling your breath. You silently cursed your luck as you should have listened to your guts and stayed in Himring.

A familiar pulse rushed through your body. You paled as your heart began its painful rhythmic dance, and you felt yourself become colder and struggle from groaning out loud.

Panic settled in as you knew what was coming.

Your throat felt dry, and you knew water could stall the beast's coming. Luckily, the orcs had not taken your remaining water flask away, so you could drink in secret before they noticed and took it away.

You carefully moved your hand and fingers toward your waist. You were glad the ropes weren't tight enough to prevent you from moving your hands too much.

While observing the orcs, you quietly opened the clasp that tied the flask to your waist and slowly brought the flask closer to your mouth. You then slurped in all the water you could get.

One of the orcs noticed and roughly grabbed the water flask away from you, spilling some of the water on you. The orc sneered at you.

"You think you so smart? You think you can drink this all yourself?" The orc mocked you as he held the flask in front of your face. "Well, I kinda drank half of it, so... yes," you replied.

"And I need it. Give it back!" you reached your hands toward it. The orc pulled it away from your reach.

"And for what reason should I give it back to you?" he laughed at you. "Because If I don't get enough water in my system. It's gonna come out and kill you," you answered. It was silent for a moment before the whole orc group started laughing at you.

"I'm serious. I'm not fucking around. You all are gonna die," you groaned as the pulsing in your heart became more painful.

"Oh shut up!" the big orc marched up to you and hit you in the face with the bottom of his weapon, striking the light out of you. You lay against the tree stump, half-conscious. The orc's laughter echoes in your ears as the big orc leans down on your ear. "Let's see how you will kill us now," he said as you lost consciousness and fell into the darkness with something ringing inside your ears.

The ringing in your ears was loud. You were not able to hear anything else till something else began calling out to you in the darkness, trying to talk to you. You could not understand it till it got louder and clearer, and then you heard someone calling your name.

"(Name)"

You snapped back to reality, finding yourself sitting in a familiar cafe with someone very familiar.

"Are you alright? You looked like you were daydreaming again," Jace asked, sipping his coffee. You smiled, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah—sorry. A bad habit at this point," he smiled at your response. "It's fine. I would be more worried if you weren't such a daydreamer," he said, making you blush.

"Hey (Name). I'm curious. Why had your foster parents not allowed you to go to prom before?" Jace asked. "Well... you know, they're protective of me. They fear I end up facing unnecessary drama and heartbreak, so they think it would be best for me to stay at home," you answered, taking a drink. "Can't say I don't blame them. This year had been filled with drama," Jace said. "Right?" you grinned, remembering the things that happened during your school year.

"I think Camilla will be most happy to graduate and never to go there again. She was getting pretty done with all the Native American jokes," you said. "Well, she has miraculous patience. I mean, how does she do that?" Jace asked. You laughed and shook your head. "I have no clue," you answered.

"If I can ask. What exactly happened to your biological family?" Jace started. "I heard they died in a fire accident," he added, making you remember the fire that consumed your home and the skinwalkers that stood before your ravaged family members. You thought about it silently. The haunting screams of those beasts echoing in your ears, the blood that dressed the snow, and the sight of your home falling apart. "Something really bad," you replied, and before Jace could ask anything else, you interfered. "I don't prefer to talk about it. Too many bad memories. Besides... it's been years now. I can't change it, and I had been taken in by a good family, better than most in this broken system," you said, making him smile.

"I don't deny that— and I hope I would be able to charm them and gain their little blessing for our date night," Jace winked at you. You released a happy yet nervous chuckle since you had not exactly told them or Camilla that you had started dating behind their back. They will not be happy about it.

You then noticed something over his shoulder— a shotgun barrel pointed right at you. Your eyes widened in fear. The shotgun fired, striking you down with its bullets. You slammed against the floor, blood flowing down from your now-open wounds and ears filled with screaming people. Your chest moved up and down as your lungs struggled to inhale air. Your vision darkened till it was nothing but darkness.

Your eyes opened slowly, nearly blinded by the light from the bonfire as it burned brightly through the darkness of the night. Your ears caught the sounds of the owl in a nearby tree and the cricketing of the grasshoppers in the tall grass.

The orcs were rounded up near the bonfire, trying to warm up from the night's chill and eat whatever they managed to catch during the day. Silently, you observed them.

The orcs first sat in silence. One of them glances at the night and releases a restless sigh, "You know, the rumors say the Orc eater would appear at nights like this, preying upon you and attacking when you least expect it," the orc said. "The Orc eater? What are you rambling about?" the big orc questioned in annoyance. "The Orc eater! Haven't you heard about it?!" the orc asked. "The beast that laid waste upon the herald's forces?" he added.

"I heard the beast appeared during the harshest winter storms, hunting orcs and devouring to its heart's content. A beast so gluttonous it could rival the hunger of the great spider," the orc described. "The herald stood no against it. The beast had eaten every orc in the herald's army and then settled its sight upon the herald himself. No one really knows why, but I heard the herald had done something to greatly upset the beast," he explained, like telling a ghost story.

"The beast ripped into the herald's arm and made him run away with his tail between his legs," he finished with a grin.

"That's a load of warg crap. There is no such a thing as an Orc eater," the big orc said.

"How do you explain the attack on the Gap then? There were no bodies, and there was no way they could have just vanished into the air?" the orc asked. "An elven trick. There is no other explanation. They have always been slippery bastards," The big orc answered. "And everyone knows the former herald had been punished for his failure and sprouting such nonsense like an orc-eating beast," he took a drink from his flask. "Ha! Serves the likes of him right," he laughed in mockery.

The big orc suddenly notices you staring.

Your pupils gleamed blue in the dark yet were filled with nothing but focus and something feral. Drool had been flowing from the side of your mouth while you were staring at him out of everyone from his group.

The big orc felt shivers run down his spine as you continued staring at him, and he couldn’t explain why. He pointed toward you. "Hey, what the hell is wrong with the prisoner?" he demanded, making the rest of his group turn to look at you. "Are her eyes supposed to look like that?"

"I don't know... Are her eyes naturally blue?" One of the orcs asked while your fingers grew into claws, unnoticed.

“Hey, you!” One of them yelled at you and threw a pebble at you to gain your attention. “Stop staring like that. It's creeping us out,” he said, but you paid no mind to him and continued staring at the big orc like you didn’t even hear anything.

“Boss. I think you broke the thing. She looks half dead and is not responding at all,” the orc said. The big orc stood up furiously.

"Hey, Skank! We’re talking to you!" he marched up to you. You stretched your claws against the ropes as he came closer.

"Are you deaf, or did I knock you out so hard that you became stupid?" The big orc demanded. You stared at him, unfazed by his intimidation.

"Do I have to do it again, or do I —!" your eyes suddenly froze. You snapped the ropes open with your claws and bounced on him. You pushed him down against the ground and began ripping his neck open with your teeth.

The big orc screamed in pain, trying to push you off. The other orcs stood back in fear and shock as they watched their leader struggle to get you off.

The big orc managed to grab you by the neck and headbutted you so hard that you shrieked and pulled back, giving him the chance to kick you off and crawl toward the weapon that lay on the ground in front of him after dropping it. He reached out his hand, nearly grabbing it, but then you grabbed him by his feet and dragged him into the forest with incredible strength and speed. The big orc screamed in terror while the rest of his group watched in shock.

They stood in silence, staring at the drag marks on the ground and spots of black blood that fell from their leader's open neck. The last things from their boss before their prisoner took him away.

One of them finally broke the silence.

"What the hell was that–!" An arrow suddenly struck him from behind. The group watched as their friend fell with a silent thud, and elven riders suddenly appeared from the dark, shooting them. They tried to run away, but the elves were fast and precise, barely giving them a chance to fight or run. They fell one by one till there was none left.

Maglor rode into the camp, recognizing the orcs from before. His eyes looked around, restlessly looking for you. He found one of your water flasks and the broken ropes around a tree stump that had frost scattered on its moss. He had a bad feeling and found black blood on the ground before tracks that looked like something heavy had been dragged into the forest. He released a sigh as he knew – he was too late.

#tolkien #silmarillion x reader #middle earth x reader #silm fic #middle earth #maglor #silmarillion fanfiction #silmarillion #maglor x reader #maglor x human reader #cursed reader #modern reader #the spring heart's bloom

7 notes · View notes

terminatorbuns · 1 year

Text

I had some spare time and I decided to draw up my first Splatoon OC, meet Abbi the Chef! She's an NB transfem immigrant learning cooking from the local jellyfish. She's friends with Sheldon and has a crush on Big Man and runs a fan blog.

I like talking design so I'm going to leave some design docs for Abbi, just for fun!

I got the idea for an OC while eating at a Chinese Seafood place that sold Abalone. I thought the little nub looked like a cute nubby face and I'm currently into Splatoon art and I thought, this was an excellent concept for a non-cephalopod Splatoon OC! There's a lot of very fun Splatoon OCs that are just weird fish people and I was inspired to try my hand at one too.

The initial concept was a little AMAB abalone guy with a face where the nub is, and I would be able to leave half the shell behind his nubby meat face. Abbi had to be a bit tubby because abalone are literally just round lumps of meat, and I like finding opportunities to design tubbier body shapes because they are so rare. I figured out that the other half shell looked like a Chinese wok, and I made the concept in a Chinese restaurant so it made a lot of sense. The jellyfish cooks in Splatoon 3 make primarily Asian style food, it made sense that Abbi would be learning from them. The rest of the design is just a series of Chef accessories, some cool earrings where Abalone shells have those little holes (3 for Splatoon 3), and poorly drawn Zombie Hi-Horses because I like those shoes in game and they have a good color scheme for Abbi.

Abbi's design is very gentle and doesn't really feel actiony like a lot of Splatoon OC's. It didn't make a lot of sense that Abbi would really interact with the action hero agents, but it did make sense for Abbi to have friendships with the more mundane supporting cast members who are often overlooked. Sheldon and Abbi share an interest in shell based headwear, so I decided they were friends. Abbi's favorite idol is obviously Big Man, since he's the only larger unconventional idol in a sea of skinny athletic idols, and I think that speaks to Abbi's body type specifically.

The name Abbi is obviously a reference to Abalone, and I like using Abigail as a boy name for a teeny weeny bit of gender non-conformity because my favorite Abigail is the one from Street Fighter 5 (my beautiful boy). The spelling is deliberately weird for fun, but it also suggests that Abbi is a foreigner with a foreign name that only happens to sound like the English name Abigail (Abbi has some use as an actual name in East Europe, I believe).

So I had made the whole concept and I showed it to my wife with no context and she just goes "what a cute girl" and I thought that was absolutely fantastic. I didn't really try very hard to leave strong gender indicators on Abbi, and I was shooting for a little bit of ambiguity anyways, so the fact that Abbi seems to read a bit feminine struck a chord with me. It's the most organic trans narrative I can imagine, my OC, literally assigned male by me at birth, seems to be presenting female/androgynous without me knowing, and I thought, if now's not the time to make a trans OC, then when?

So now Abbi has she/them pronouns and is NB transfem. That's the fun of design sometimes. Sometimes OC's organically gain different gender identities mid development, and I don't really understand why or how, but it's more fun to respect that change than try to fight it. Art is more interesting that way.

13 notes · View notes

sinnerzforsaintz · 1 year

Text

So, because I guess I am picking up Striker as a muse now lmfao

I should probably dump some basics for my guy here. The obvious stuff like hating the birbs and most royals at least.

His father was from Envy while his mother was from Wrath. He had a rough up bringing, his father was a pirate while his mother was a horse/cattle rustler. He learned to hold a gun, ride a horse and kill a guy before he was the age of ten. He's a jack of all trades and a conman in his own right. Taking care of a ranch is just like taking care of a ship in his eyes.

When he was about 16, both his parents were put to death by the Goetia for their crimes and Striker was spared then taken in by one of the Goetias staff since he was a 'dirty orphan child' now. Because he had handled horses from a young age, he was made to be the stable boy. Striker learned how the royals lived first hand and watched how they treated Imps of all kinds, including himself.

Having had enough of the Goetias treatment of him, Striker took off at 17. Holding onto his bitter resentment of the birbs and all they stood for, deciding someone needed to knock them down a peg, make them suffer everything they put Imps through but being a poor young man, he wasn't capable of getting his hands on the blessed weapons he needed for that.

He picked up the job of being a hitman because he had no name or face in most places since, it wasn't like the royals had paid attention enough to even pull him out of a line up and he was always moving around with his mom and dad due to their lives.

(This doesn't really matter unless a Stella rper is up for it but I think it would be funny that it was her family he worked for and that's why she knew to go to him for the job of killing Stolas. This could also go for Andrealphus as well because they're siblings so he could have just off hand suggested it to her.)

#mun speaks #striker things #gator boy striker

4 notes · View notes

citrusreadstoa · 1 year

Text

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 13 (SPOILERS)

"My life goal is realized" What, working minimum-wage in a fast food chain? You think Lityerses might not recognize them if they just pretend they work there?

"Unless, of course, they were searching for intruders, specifically us..." You didn't get that already? Always assume there are people looking for you if your previous dream told you there are people looking for you.

"manipulating pins in a lock wouldn't be too different than weaving threads in a loom." Can anyone who has done both confirm? This sounds like iffy logic. "The two things sounded very different to me" What did I say? Exactly. "but I couldn't argue with the results." Also true.

"You'll know when I get my magic back, because you'll find yourself being tossed across Indianapolis." Can she do that? With her wind spirits? Also, I wondered earlier whether her invisible air servants got left behind on Ogygia, but the way they've talked about them since then suggests that they are not her servants, but actually regular air spirits she can command, maybe like Mellie. This is relieving. Maybe those nymphs can leave the island now if they want to. Or maybe as nymphs they're more comfortable with staying in one place like dryads, idk.

"Carnivorous horse mix?" Oh no no no, not the man-eating poop horses from the Triple G Ranch. "Combat ostrich cubes?" Ayo cover art "Surely they're not grinding animals into food?" Is she vegetarian? Or maybe it's just the grinding-into-processed-meat part that disturbs her?

"I was overwhelmed by a vision" Oh no not now not again this is a Bad Time-- Well, at least they're deadbolted in.

"nothing about the tent suggested the harsh life of the Roman legion." Did Roman emperors lead the charge into battle or did they stay out of the fighting? I'm willing to bet that for Rome it depended on the emperor, but which was most common?

"a solid gold cornucopia." What fucking river god did they harass for this one?

"And you are perfect, I thought" Physically, maybe, but I'm pretty sure he likes to torture innocent souls as a pastime. I only simp for him in jest, but Apollo seems serious about it. With this awful of a precedent for his flings, one of his kids at camp must be the child of, like, a serial mass murderer or something. (Is that why Will is a year-rounder? We don't know what Naomi Solace does in her spare time...)

"Ask for a furlough?" FURLOUGH (n.): suspension or discharge of a worker or workers on account of economic conditions or shortage of work, especially when temporary

"He is so virtuous" Really? The guy waging war on every vaguely threatening piece of land around them for the entirety of his reign is virtuous?

"Who names their child Bruttia?" Poor girl. "Ostriches" Oh, the cover art. Here come the ostriches! <3 <3 <3

"But what did I care? I was a god." Oh just you wait, Apollo. The roles are going to be reversed.

"Look at the prices." It's a fast food place. How bad could it be? "$15,000 per serving." UM. ?????????? "isn't that a bit pricey for a meal?" YUHUH. "I was adventuring with someone as clueless as I was." Wait, you mean to tell me that he was understating it when he said "a bit pricey"? He genuinely doesn't know how expensive this is? Whatever, they already broke into the zoo and broke into the café. They shouldn't have a problem with stealing at this point.

"Percy Jackson could drive a car." Ah yes, Perseus Jackson's primary and most useful demigod skill: driving.

"a golden metallic coating." Ah, that explains it. The griffins have the appetite of Arion.

"'Let me use my super vision to look through this wall and check,' she said. 'Oh, wait.'" She sounds exactly like Leo when she says that.

5 notes · View notes

prairiemule · 3 years

Photo

Red Dead Redemption II - Appaloosa • [Leopard]

#rdr #rdr2 #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2edit #vgedit #video game edit #horse series #my gifs.#my uploads #pretty horses #this horse doesn't really have a name since he's just my spare #but i call him leo lol #these were kinda rushed but i do i care?#yes i care a lot but i'm also very lazy #it's a bad combo you see

303 notes · View notes

thomacrumbs · 3 years

Text

my peerless paramour.

various boys (xiao, childe, diluc, albedo, aether, kazuha, thoma) x gn! reader, royal! au. blurbs, fluff, no cws. ��s & ↻s appreciated!

notes: first post first post. i feel like a hamster in a hamster ball. edit: maybe i didn't proof read what about it

xiao.

xiao has always been the most trusted aide & knight of his king, zhongli. he is willing to lay down his life for him, which is why he (begrudingly) accepts the order to become the heir's guard after their disastrous coronation, despite the warnings and sighs from the other palace workers, who tried to steer him away from accepting. he sorts of understands, afterall, he finds himself feeling more like a babysitter than a bodyguard after he realises he's chasing after the illusive royal for most waking hours of his life. he complains, of course, but snaps at whichever eager knight offering to take his place, afterall, only he has the ability to protect you.

childe.

a dutiful knight to his prince, despite his sometimes less than favourable personality and penchant for violence & tumble. it is a given that he accompanies his prince to the engagement between two heirs of the kingdoms. the wedding would be lavish, with large roses & spinning arrays of light & song, guests stuffing themselves with offers of tarts, parfaits, truffles and pies. it would be lavish, if he did not stumble across his prince's betrothed in the middle of a sea of roses, falling in love at first sight.

diluc.

prince diluc has long known about the thief that prowls his castle kitchens. jumping out of windows with food scraps, darting into the shadows with a sack slung over their shoulder and pulling themselves over high castle walls after escaping with their tail between their legs. but he doesn't really care- it isn't like they're doing any harm. but his leniency comes at a price when his jewellery gets stolen from right under his nose, and now he's being ridiculed by his brother while searching for the mysterious thief in the most unexpected of places- right next to him, the gardener who he has never spared a second glance.

albedo.

the noble's child has always been destined to wed prince albedo ever since they were born. the perfect pair, as his father would always put it, two puzzles fitting perfectly together. afterall, they had grown up together, wound together tighter than any type of rope. albedo has never need to know the feeling of heartbreak as he was always content- happy, his life laid out neat & wonderful before him. a wedding, some children (or maybe just a dog), and a lifetime of ruling beside his favourite person. however, the illusion comes crashing down and his plans come to a screeching halt when his betrothed suddenly asks for the engagement to be broken two years before they are to be wed.

aether.

it is said that you can never find the royal twins in one place, they are always flitting from one place to another, always in search for a new adventure. the travelling prince finds unlikely love in the form of a village peasant who yells at him to get out of their apples trees, going as far as to shake him out of the branches. you then start to wonder why a certain "merchant" keeps coming around to your down trodden village until a ball informs you of his real identity.

kazuha kaedehara.

the "wild child" "dark horse" of the royal family. you are nothing but a headache to the rest of your family, tarnishing the family name, making a fool of your parents, taunting the visiting nobles, general mockery & the sort. kazuha, the son of a politician, often the victim of your schemes, is unfortunately strung along with you in implications, told to stand outside the room for hours on end alongside you before you run off like you always do, with blatant disregard for any rules. but he wouldn't have it any other way, afterall, you are you, the person who lets him be kazuha, not just the son of the kaedehara.

thoma.

the guard of kamisato ayaka, who you often have to deal with as the retainer of one highly esteemed kamisato ayato. an anchor in your often hectic life, from his ridiculous hotpots to the way he affectionately taps your nose when he needs your attention. even the shirasagi himegimi herself dares not intrude on your alone time in the far corner of the kamisato estate, where he tenderly puts a flower behind your ears and leans forward to capture your lips in a fervent kiss. but one daring noble takes a liking to the kamisato guard, and you don't take it lightly- afterall, there's no way thoma's gonna beat you in the number of people who has a crush on him.

200 notes · View notes

lemonpika · 2 years

Note

Hey hey Pika, I'm so happy you're coming out of your hiatus; but as I told you before, take it slow! We'll always be here waiting for you💕

I'm ready for some self shipping if you don't mind 🥺 me (my name is Antonella lolol Anto is my nickname - she/her) and Erwin please?

If it's alright I'll take both SFW and NSFW! If not then just SFW ✨ I'm introverted, I don't like going out a lot so probably my favorite date would be to the cinema OR to somewhere not so crowded, maybe just walking around with some ice cream. I love animals so just watching birds or horses would make me happy too. I love art so museums are good too! My hobbies are drawing, painting and sleeping 💀

ok so my natal chart; my sun sign is pisces, my moon sign escorpio; and ascending (? capricorn.

Thank you so much in advance, you are allowing my lil brain to be happy 🥺

Hi Anto!!!!! <3 Thank you so much for the kind words bby, i really really hope u enjoy what i came up with! EruAnto is ur ship name <33!!

SFW Headcanons

Erwin is lowkey your sugar daddy. He will literally spare no expense in taking you on romantic dates after he comes home from work. He doesn't splurge on himself most of the time, but he wants to spoil his beloved <3

His family owns a stable in the countryside and he'll often take you there to go riding!

He's definitely a workaholic but he only works to provide a comfortable life for the two of you

LOVES MOVIES!! He adores taking you to the cinema since it's not too crowded and he gets to enjoy something cool with you

Also, because he thinks you look cute whenever you get excited over some scenes

He would definitely frame your artwork in his office if you ever drew him something. He's just so proud of how talented you are and wants nothing more than to show off your work!

Takes you on a lot of museum dates so you could get inspired for your next art project

Erwin is extremely in-tune with how you're feeling and can immediately tell that something's wrong. He's extremely reassuring and supportive when you're in a bad mood or having a bad day

He likes to grab your hand and squeeze it whenever the two of you are walking together in public. He does it to let you know that he's enjoying himself and is happy to spend time with u <3

NSFW Headcanons

Erwin loves saying the dirtiest things to you when you're behind closed doors

He'll coolly command you to his lap and order you to ride his thigh, arms crossed as he looks down at you

Loves calling you his 'good girl'

He definitely has a daddy/commander kink so you often have to call him 'sir' if you want to get him in the mood

He's a soft dom so he'd never try to hurt his baby (unless that's what you want ;) all you need to do is tell him <3)

Goes down on you quite often. He prefers to give rather than receive

But if you are in the mood to give him head, expect your jaw to hurt a little towards the end. He gets so wrapped up in the pleasure that he loses control of his hips as he gets closer to orgasm

His moans are really deep and breathy. He typically just mutters curses under his breath as your mouth works his cock.

PROBABLY HAS A BREEDING KINK

be prepared for him to 'accidentally' cum inside //

send in ur self ships and i'll give u hc's of ur dynamic!

#anto!! <3 #eruanto #self ship event

12 notes · View notes

kookie-doughs · 3 years

Text

Word Fic

Friend

Petra Ral X Reader

Warning: Low-key kinda gay bcuz I am high-key gay for her hnnn

"I hodriend. That was all what you could be to her. After all, why would she bother sparing you a glance when she had the Humanity's Strongest as a potential lover.

"Y/N, what do you think?" She giggled. "Do you think commander would allow it?"

Right now you were resting with Petra after a failed mission that the Survey Corps had. You laid in Petra's quarters while Petra changed, just like any other day after a mission.

Ah, yes, you also forgot to mention.

You're a woman.

It was no wonder she only saw you as a friend.

"I don't really know." You sighed, "I have a feeling he won't allow it. Levi would be against it."

"We both know that's not true. He wanted to recruit you that day. And he wouldn't have done that if he doesn't want to work with you."

You've been with Petra since the day you were children. You entered training corps together and got in Survey corps together. You initially planned on joining the military, that was until you heard Petra wanted to join survey. There was no way you were going to let her become a titan's feed. And the only way to make sure of that was to join her.

You were an incredible scout crowned as Levi's next title successor, you were immediately offered a spot in special operation squad which you turned down, and it took no time before they made you another offer which was to become a squad leader. You of course accepted in hopes you could offer Petra a spot, unfortunately someone else saw her potential. Humanity's strongest, Levi Ackerman.

"But don't you think it's too much for the kid?" She lying down next to you.

You lie on your side to face her, "It is. But he has no choice."

She frowns and turned to you, "It's just that... we're the ones in charge of him you know... It's scary."

Creasing her cheek, your heart skipped a beat. You decided that maybe what you did was weird so you pulled her into a hug instead.

"It's going to be fine. You got Levi remember?"

At the mention of his name you felt Petra ease.

"I guess..."

"Don't worry, I'll be there to back you up when it comes to that."

She fell asleep in your arms. This was another risky mission. So like always, you two slept together. Embracing her as if this was the last time, because with tomorrow's itinerary it most likely will be.

You had fastened your gear and was ready, you were on your way to Erwin to hear the plan. You were assigned to the position closest to Levi's squad.

After hearing the plan it was time to get the show on the road. Everyone started leaving the room to prepare their squad, but you pulled Levi aside for a minute.

"Y/N." He called.

"Try not to loose anyone in your squad." You said firmly.

He looked at you with total disinterest. "You have your own-"

"No I don't. My squad's job is to make sure your squad keeps the kid safe. Our job is to die so you won't. Now all I ask you, please, try not to get anyone killed." You looked at him in the eyes.

"If you think your job is to die then you don't deserve your position." He hissed pushing you away. "But," He stopped. "I'll do my best to keep them alive. Not because you asked me. It's because I'm not stupid." Turning to you for a second. "Petra will be safe. I'll make sure of that. So focus on your mission."

After cooling off you went to your squad who are now prepared. You told them about the plan and you rode your horse.

In position, you saw series of black smoke fired from the other side. An abnormal was approaching from their other side. You wanted to help but you knew, you couldn't break formation.

Finally reaching the front of the forest, you saw a titan with feminine physique, chasing after Levi's squad.

As expected, your mission was to charge to your death. Taking a deep breath, you command your soldiers to attack the titan and protect Levi's squad.

Were you afraid of what was happening right now? Honestly, no you weren't. Because before your eyes, you could see your attacks were delaying or maybe even preventing the death of your friend.

Your skills were incredible all right. Among everyone fighting, you were the only one left. Your only drive was to make sure Petra would be safe no matter what. All though you weren't able to take her down or cute her up, the fact you're delaying her was enough.

When Levi fired a shot you knew what that meant. You got on top of the tree next to Hanji. When the titan got captured. You were praised by Erwin for holding off against the titan.

"Levi, which way did your squad go?" You asked him.

He clicked his tongue, when Erwin gave you permission, Levi finally told you.

You had lost your entire squad once again. And you desperately need to see the smile on your favorite person's face.

You swing from tree to tree to get to where they were. And when a loud scream from where everyone was since you weren't that far, you had a bad feeling. You rushed to where they were. Not caring in the slightest if you ran out of gas.

The only thoughts running in your mind was Petra and her safety.

You then hear what you assume was a flare. But instead of going back like what it was supposed to mean, you charged on.

Just in time, you see a burst of lighting near by. It was a titan transformation.

"Petra!!!" You heard a cry.

That was enough for you to know what you had to do. Using up as much gas as needed to get to where you were supposed to be, you felt where the thumping was from. And at the last moment you managed to swoop in and cut the titan's Achilles making her fall.

"Fucking move!" You screamed at her.

As she was too stunned to move. You had so little gas left, and of course you used it to grab her and climb on the tree near Eren and Oruo.

"Oruo, make sure you guys get to safety. Levi isn't that far, so if you could give me some of your gas please."

He didn't hesitate and gave some of his gas as fast as he could, as you knew the more you waited the more dangerous it was.

"Now get the fuck out of here, call Levi or anyone to help me if you come across anyone. But you two get the kid to safety."

"Why do we need to call for help?! I could help you right now! I am not-"

"I hold a higher position than you. Eren's safety is top priority. Oruo can't handle the kid alone and neither can you. As a superior I command you to do as I say."

"You're not just my superior, you're my friend! I can't let you-"

I notice the titan twitching. "Petra Ral! The titan is about to make her move! Leave now!"

Choking in her tear she saluted, "I will carry this out with the best I can!"

You smiled softly and nodded.

When they were going you felt the need to say it out loud at least once. "Petra, I love you! And I mean it in a way I wish we aren't friends!"

Oruo dragged her away, you saw how she wanted to turn back after hearing you. But fortunately you had successfully made sure, they were taken to safety. Or at least you hope so.

You barely have 1/8 gas so you knew. Today was your last day. So might as well go down swining.

Take Me Back To Oneshot Aisle

Okay I hope this wasn't so bad. I think it was nice. I wanted to dive into angst but as you can see I am bad at doing that lmaooo

Yes you did die. Was there to little underlay on the Friend thing or was it enough?

Am I posting too much? I just really enjoy writing rn and have so much ideas and inspiration. I hope I'm not ruining your dash with my trash.

-kookie-doughs

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay

#aot #snk #petra ral #petra x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #x reader #oneshot #Word fic

40 notes · View notes

kian-bera · 4 years

Text

Merlin was exhausted from work. Trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle of customers at Christmas was exhausting. He loved to help people find the magic of books though, they were all he had left of the world he once knew. The world when Camelot and all of Avalon still existed. The world, where Arthur was still alive. There was a knock at the door and Merlin just sighed before getting up. He opened the door and saw Leon standing there with Christmas Eve dinner, just like every year.

"Happy Christmas." Leon said sadly as he leaned against the door post.

"Happy Christmas Leon. Come in." The two men walked to the kitchen table and sat down, the only light came from the street lights and a few lights that lit Merlin's small tree in the corner. "Do you ever think this will end?"

"I do not know Merlin. Maybe one day, somehow we will see Avalon rise again, we will see Arthur and Gwen and all of our friends once more gathered at the round table. Or we will be here for another 1500 years wishing and hoping that we can find a way to end this stupid immortality thing and finally just die of old age."

Merlin just nodded and dug his food out of the fast food bag in front of him. The two sat in silence as they ate, the only sound was that of the cars and the late city life down below. Leon and Merlin eventually made their way to the couch and curled up together to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" as they have always done since the movie came out. Leon put a blanket over Merlin once he finally fell asleep halfway through the movie. When they woke up, the news was on about two men who had been arrested early that morning. Leon nudged Merlin awake.

"Merlin, my eyes could be deceiving me, but is that Arthur and Gwaine?" Leon asked, shaking his head. The news reporter popped up on the screen.

"Good morning London. This morning, these two men were caught soaking wet and screaming for the mythical wizard Merlin. One keeps claiming he is the King of Camelot himself Arthur, while the other insisting he is Sir Gwaine of the infamous round table. If anyone can come and get them, the officers who arrested them would be grateful." The camera cut to a picture of Gwaine and Arthur sitting in a holding cell still in armour. Their swords and Arthur's cape had been taken and the armour might have been taken, but it looks like they put up a fight.

Merlin and Leon jumped up and threw on a pair of matching Christmas sweaters Leon had gotten them years ago as a joke gift. Merlin quickly grabbed his keys and ran to his car. After all these years of having one, he still did not completely understand how all the mechanics worked even though he had a drivers license. He preferred his bike, but he would need more than one seat.

When they got to the police station, Merlin and Leon walked up to the information desk and inquired about Arthur and Gwaine. Leon told the officer that the two had been drunk at a dress up Christmas party and had gotten drunk. They had wandered off and no one could find them. Leon paid the bail while Merlin waited for Arthur and Gwaine to come up. Once they were there, the men were given back their chainmail and swords before Merlin tackled Arthur.

"Where are we, and why won't these knights listen to me?" Arthur questioned, a bit annoyed.

"Arthur, I will answer all your questions later, okay? We need to get you back to my flat and out of the armour."

"You are right Merlin, it really does need polishing doesn't it?"

"Yes, now come on." Merlin dragged Arthur and Gwaine to his car where Leon was waiting for them. Merlin helped them into the car and just sat there in the passenger seat, mixed emotions swimming through his brain. When they got back to Merlin's flat, Merlin and Leon took them inside.

"Do you have any spare clothes?" Leon asked Merlin.

"Why would I want to wear Merlin's clothes?" Arthur asked plopping down on the couch.

"Because you need to fit in." Merlin told him going to his closet in his bedroom. Gwaine followed him to the bedroom.

"What is all of this new stuff? Like what was that carriage that we were just in?" Gwaine questioned watching Merlin throwing clothes into his bed.

"I will attempt to explain everything to you and Arthur. Please go back to the living room with them." Merlin shooed Gwaine out of the room. Once Gwaine was out, Merlin shut the door before running over to his pillow and screaming into the soft fabric. Afterwards he sat up, and grabbed a shirt and a pair of sweatpants someone had given him, that were big on himself. He came out and told Arthur to change into them in the bathroom while he found something to wear for Gwaine. The issue was Gwaine was taller than he was, so he wanted to find something that would be long enough to cover his legs.

"MERLIN COME HELP ME PLEASE!" Arthur yelled from the bathroom. Merlin just laughed as Arthur tried to get his head through the turtle neck shirt he had given to Arthur. "Don't just stand there, help me." Merlin just shook his head and went over to help Arthur with the shirt.

"Arthur what do you remember?" Merlin asked, pulling the neck of the shirt over Arthur's head.

"I was stabbed by Mordred. You have magic. I died with you holding me in your arms. What happened after Camelot lost their King Merlin? How did Guivere fair? Did she remarry? Was their an heir to the throne? Who all survived? Did my knights make it home? I mean Gwain was with me when we came from the lake, so I suppose he died."

"Arthur calm down one question at a time okay? You will overload yourself. Camelot mourned for you Arthur. The people, they loved you. Every year on the eve of when you died there was a vigil. Guivere was out of it for a while, royal advisors kinda took over making decisions. Once she came around, she was a wonderful queen. She did you proud, Arthur." Merlin took a step back and smiled.

"What about the rest of my questions?"

"Those should be answered by the man in the living room with Gwaine."

"Wait there was someone else here?" Arthur questioned heading for the door.

"Yes, I wasn't driving the car with magic. Right you don't know what a car is or how it works. Right."

Leon and Gwaine sat at the table laughing. Gwaine had found the basket of apples Merlin kept in the kitchen to snack on when he was writing. His laptop sat on a small table with a bunch of sticky notes around it on the wall.

"By the way Merlin, when I saved your busts at the tavern, that was an act of heroism, I mean who else would take on those bullies." Gwaine said smiling. He took the Apple core and tossed it into the trash can.

"Good morning Arthur." Leon said, smiling. Arthur gasped and ran over to Leon. "I've missed you. Merlin has been teaching me poetry you know."

"How dare he teach you poetry, that's my thing." Arthur gave a small laugh. "Merlin said I should ask you about what happened to Gwen after I died. Does Merlin not know?"

"He does, but it was a rocky time for him. About three years after your death, I...Gwen and I got married and I became the new King of Camelot. We had two sons. The oldest we named Arthur in honor of Camelot's once and future king. The younger of the two we had several years later, we named him Elyan after Gwen's brother. They grew up to be strong knights and princes, and long after Gwen passed away, I stepped down as King and let Arthur and his wife Elizabeth take over as King and Queen. They ruled Camelot with honor and dignity until they died and then their son Emeyrus took over as King. So the line went down for another 250 years. Then one harsh winter, a famine took over Camelot and all of Avalon. All the kingdoms fell to the Saxons and Avalon was lost forever. All that's left is the pillar in the lake, Merlin and myself."

"If there is one more question I may ask? What happened after the battle?" Arthur asked tears in his eyes. Leon knee what he meant by everyone.

"Only myself and Percival survived." Arthur just nodded. "I'm not sure if Gwaine remembers but he was tortured to death by Morgana."

"So, Merlin got mad at you for taking Gwen's hand in marriage?"

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS LEON! ARTHUR WAS OUR FRIEND!"

"Merlin calm down please..." Leon went to lay a hand on his shoulder, but Merlin pulled away, tears streaming down his eyes. He wanted to run far away, where no one knew who he was, or what had happened. "Merlin please, I know you are still upset about Arthur. We all are, but we have to move forward for the sake of Camelot."

"For the sake of Camelot." Merin echoed. "Camelot this and Camelot that, everything is done for the sake of Camelot." Merlin shook his head and ran off to the stables. He had a bag packed and a horse ready to leave. He hopped up and took off into the forest. He went to the one place he felt safe. He rode to the lake.

When Merlin arrived, he left his horse in the tree line and went down to the edge of the lake. The water was lapping against the shore harshly as a storm was blowing in from the north. Merlin did not care though. He did not want to hear the wedding bells.

"Hi Arthur, so Leon and Gwen are getting married today. I want to be happy for them, I really do, but at the same time, I want you to be home. I want you to come home like they said you would. I want to believe more than anything that you will rise from the lake. It hurts without you Arthur, as annoying as you could be dollaphead, I never realized how much I needed you." Merlin heard a snap and turned around. Percival came down to the water and sat beside Merlin. "I thought you would be a Leon and Gwen's wedding."

"I was going too, but then I saw you ride off and crying. I figured you'd be here talking to Arthur. It's what you do when you're upset."

"Thank you Perse. I guess I just hoped that Arthur would return."

"We all do." Percival told Merlin, hugging him close.

"Yeah he wouldn't talk to me for weeks, but he finally came around and accepted our marriage. I think he was just hoping you would come back and fix everything."

"Thank you Leon, for everything." Arthur told him.

"Of course Arthur, while I may have become the king, you were and still are my king and I am proud to serve by your side." There was a bright flash of light from outside the flat and people started screaming. The four ran to the window and glanced down. There she was, Morgana in the flesh standing on the ground with Aithusa by her side. Morgana glanced up at the boys and smirked. She began to chant and Merlin told everyone to get away from the windows. The window shattered, and Merlin took most of the damage as he was still right in front.

"MERLIN!" Leon ran over and checked for damage. Merlin was bleeding but he had curled up that most of the glass didn't hit anything major.

"COME OUT HERE COWARDS OR SHALL THIS NEW CITY AND KINGDOM FALL TOO!" Morgana shouted from the ground. Arthur ran over to the window, glancing down at her.

"You will never win Morgana, now go back from whatever corner of the death that you came from."

"Never, I lost my chance once, I will not lose this battle again." Morgana hopped on Aithusa and rode off into the distance. Arthur just stood there glancing at the people below who were confused and scared.

"Hey Leon...er King?" Merlin asked, trying to figure out how to address the new ruler.

"Just Leon is fine Merlin. You are an old friend and such formality is not needed."

"Okay Just Leon." Merin cracked a small smile and laughed.

"Is that a smile I see?" Queen asked, walking over to the men.

"Maybe....." Merlin replied. Leon hugged him close. "We have missed this Merlin."

"Well dollaphead I should get to work then. What will it be, polishing armour, scrubbing the floors. Have I mentioned polishing armour." Merlin gave the first true smile he had given in three years. Gwen laughed and hugged Merlin as well.

"Armour sounds good, but we have a trip to go on first." Leon told him. Leon took him down the hall and to the great hall.

"The stables are that way Leon." Merlin said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"I know they are, but this trip is within the castle walls." When they got to the room, Leon had Merlin close his eyes and led him across the room. "Now open." Merin opened his eyes to see a red curtain.

"Wow Just Leon, that's impressive." Leon scoffed and nudged Merlin.

"Let then open the curtain first." The curtains opened and there stood a bronze statue of Arthur and Merlin. They stood side by side, swords drawn. Merlin hugged Leon and sobbed into his chest. "Shhh it's okay Merlin, I knew you would want something to honor Arthur and I thought that having you two together would be even better. You two were always together no matter what."

"Thank you Leon. For everything. I'm glad you became the king." Merlin took a step back and wiped his eyes.

Arthur returned to where Leon was helping Gwaine pick glass out of Merlin's side. Arthur sat beside them and tried to help. Every time they pulled out a piece, Merlin flinched. Arthur eventually had to pull away because he started to tear up. They had only been reunited for less than a day and Merlin was already hurt trying to save him.

"Is there anything I can do? Like get some water?" Arthur asked, pacing the floor.

"Uh yeah, the cups are in the cabinet. Sink water is fine." Leon told Arthur pointing to the kitchen. Arthur went over and found a cup.

"Where did you say the pump was?" Arthur asked.

"Oh see the sink?"

"Yes."

"Pull that silver lever gently." Arthur nodded and put the cup under the spout and pulled the level.

"Wow it doesn't stop after a few seconds. You don't have to pump the water."

"No you don't, it's quite nice." Arthur brought the cup of water back and went back to playing with the sink. "Arthur dont run too much water, we have a high water bill as it is."

"Water bill? Like you have to pay to have this running water?" Arthur asked.

"Yes you do." Leon told him helping Merlin, who was now awake, to the table.

"I never did ask. What year is it?" Arthur questioned finding other things in the kitchen to play with.

"It's 2020." Merlin replied weakly.

"But that means...It's been 1500 years." Gwaine said sitting down.

"Yeah." Leon and Merlin replied in unison.

"Hey Leon calm down, it will be alright. Gwen is a strong woman. She will be fine." Merlin told Leon trying to calm him down. After a few hours, Leon was finally allowed inside Gwen's bedroom. She was asleep, but her lady In waiting was holding a newborn baby boy. She handed Leon his son and smiled.

"He is perfectly healthy Sire, no problems at all. And Gwen is fine, she is just tired and needs some rest." She explained to the king.

"Oh yes of course, can I?"

"Go ahead sire." Leon held his newborn son close to his chest and smiled at the small child wrapped in a wool blanket. He walked to his chambers while Merlin ran ahead and opened the door. Leon sat on his bed while Merlin stood there awkwardly.

"Merlin why don't you take the rest of the day off. You were up with me early this morning and have been there for me all day. It is the least I can do after all you've done."

"Are you sure Leon?"

"Yes I'm sure now shoo, flee, go enjoy yourself. I'll have a guard find you if I need you." Leon smiled at him and waved him out.

"Thank you Leon." Merlin smiled and walked out the door. He knew that Leon had told him to go, but he sat right outside the door and fell asleep.

"So, what kind of story are you writing?" Gwaine asked Merlin trying to get him to talk.

"A story about Camelot. The true story, not what legend has told. Oh Arthur pulled this fancy sword name Excalibur from a stone and now he's this king of this amazing kingdom. Like sorry, but he was already king when he pulled Excalibur from the sword. That was just reassurance that he was the true king of Camelot since he had lost faith."

"You are telling the truth." Arthur replied, smiling.

"I'm telling our story." Merlin told him, smiling back as he tried to sit up in his chair. "Now enough dilly saddling. Morgana is back, what are we going to do?"

#merlin #merlin bbc #king arthur #merlin pendragon #arthur pendragon #arthur merlin #morgana #sir gwaine #sir leon #morgana pendragon #merthur #bbc merthur #sir percival #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #merlin fandom

13 notes · View notes

sanasunbringer · 5 years

Text

Layers of Sana Sunbringer

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: “Sanalellah, but that's a mouthful! Just call me Sana.”

Eye Color: “Pale brown...I suppose you could say they're hazel?”

Hair Style/Color: “Somewhere between ginger and brunette. Long, wavy. It's usually down, but I pull it into a ponytail if I need it out of the way.”

Height: “Five feet. Yep, I've heard every short joke in the book!”

Clothing Style: “When I don't need my armor, I mostly pick airy clothes, like dresses. It's just nice to wear something light after being stuck in a stifling hunk of metal, you know? Oh, and anything floral.”

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Your Fears: “The Void, undeath, not being good enough.”

Your Guilty Pleasure: “It's hardly a pleasure if you feel guilty about it, no?” She averts her eyes suspiciously.

Your Biggest Pet Peeve: “People who are blunt or careless just for the hell of it.”

Your Ambition for the Future: “To see admiration in my children's eyes.”

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

Your First Thoughts Waking Up: “If the little ones are awake yet.”

What You Think About the Most: “My family.”

What You Think About Before Bed: “Mmn, probably how to keep Mengersh out of trouble...let me tell you, he doesn't make it easy.”

Your Best Quality Is: “Compassion, I suppose.”

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: “Well, if I were still on the market, I'd choose single-but group dates are a good way to keep things interesting.”

To be Loved or Respected: “Loved, of course. Definitely loved. I wouldn't trade that for the world.”

Beauty or Brains: “I confess that I've got a soft spot for beauty. Even more so than most, Light help me...a sharp mind is always best, though.”

Dogs or Cats: “I have to choose? Dogs, then.”

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: “Maybe, ah...maybe a white lie here or there to spare someone's feelings.”

Believe in Yourself: “Sure?”

Believe in Love: “Absolutely.”

Want Someone: “I’m fortunate enough to have who I want already.”

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: “Not yet. I bet I'd enjoy it.”

Done Drugs: “Definitely not!”

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: “No, although I find it difficult not to sometimes.”

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite Color: “Those shades of pink and gold you see in the sky just as night turns to day.”

Favorite Animal: “Hmn, difficult question. Maybe horses? Useful for travel, gorgeous, strong. Couldn't ask for much more than that. I adore Temperance, raised her since she was a foal. She's even carried me into battle-that takes a special kind of trust.”

Favorite Food: “Homemade sweets, for sure. If I can manage to eat some before they're all stolen...I swear, Iri and Vel sneak more than my darlings do!”

Favorite Game: “Hearthstone. Or whatever Saphir and Uther's favorite is at the moment!”

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: “September 25.”

How Old Will You Be: “Just turned forty. Lucky for me, half elves tend to age slower."

Age You Lost Your Virginity: “Older than most people lost theirs. I've always been a bit uptight when it comes to, uhm, that sort of thing.”

Does Age Matter: “In relationships, absolutely. Otherwise, nah.”

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: “Once, I would've said gentle, doting...perhaps even clingy, like I am. Funny that the one I fell for is quite the opposite. The independent kind, and not mushy very often.”

Best Eye Color: “Blue, even though they're all lovely in their own way.”

Best Hair Color: “Black.”

Best thing to do with a Partner: “Ah, gods, I'm such a sucker for a good snuggle. I could just curl up with him, a few blankets, and some snacks for hours. Of course, Death Knights aren't exactly the cuddliest, but we make it work.”

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: “Sunshine.”

I feel: “Content.”

I hide: “Very little.”

I miss: “Peace and quiet. I don’t really mind much, though.”

I wish: “To leave the past behind me.”

Tagged by: @irielle-firine

Tagging: @unabashedrebel @renwyck @ash-summer @the-real-arcanist-val @olliehaldstan @caideyn @josiehastings @tilnathiel @nyyght

#tagged

16 notes · View notes

astridstark13 · 6 years

Text

The headless horseman in Detroit

For the halloween special from @sdavid09 's tale tellers fright night 2018.

Warnings: mentions of blood and death, mention of violence, drugs

Connor stands in front of a large apartment complex. It was a dirty grey beton building with accurate divided windows. Every apartment was exactly designed like the other. He had the blue prints downloaded and knew exactly in which apartment he has to go.

Connors destination was the 13th apartment on the 26th floor. There lived the young Detective Natalie Williams from the Detroit Police Department.

It was 2 in the morning and Natalie was still asleep so Connor had the ungrateful task to wake her up. He knocked at her door and waited for Nat to answer.

Natalie lies in her warm soft bed and heard a loud sound from her door. Grumbling and muttering she turns and tossed, trying to ignore the disturbing noise. Sighing Nat gets out of her bed and pads sleepily towards the door. As she answered the door the red haired woman sees Connor standing there blushing in a light blue.

Her sleep clothes were made of a long shirt that reaches nearly to the middle of her thighs and the collar was so wide it slids down her right shoulder to her elbow.

Connor feels his cooling system heating and his Thirium pump to speed up. He has never seen his female Colleague like this. In fact in this moment he thinks that she really looked sexy and this thought made him nervous. They just started a friendship a few days ago when they found the little dog on the mall. The whole night Natalie had helped him to take care of the white puppy and Connor and they had talked until he convinced her to sleep on Hanks Couch.

"Connor, whats going on", she asked worriedly. Maybe it was something with Hank or a new case. Behind her appeared her android friend Samantha and waved shortly.

"We have a new case and it appears to be a quite difficult one", the android detective said and tried to not let his sight wander down her body.

Growling Natalie turned and get back in the apartment. Seeing that she let the door wide open Connor understand it as a gesture to come in. He gets in and closed the door behind him. As curiosity get the best of him he looked around the small domicile. The walls were white, but everywhere pictures are hanging on the wall. Different photographies of landscapes, beaches and riffs or animals in various sizes and forms. The furniture was a mixture of new and old cupboards the only thing they have in common is that they are beech-wooden. Connor doen't want to be rude, so he stayed in the little floor and waited for Natalies return.

"So, is it a deviant", asked Sam and led him in the kitchen. The room was sparely decorated and as he knows from the blue prints fully furnished in every apartment. They take a seat at the chairs who were standing around a small table.

"I don't know. Hank and I were called about half an hour ago that we should pick Natalie up and come to the crime scene", Connor explained.

"Then lets go", Natalie calls from the door. Connor and she bid Samantha farewell for the night and make their way to Hanks car.

As Natalie climbs into his car she watches Hanks tired face with more eyebags than usual.

"Hank, whats up with you?"

"Little Cole has still problems to sleep. When he doesn't run around the house he lies in Connors bed whimpering and then Sumo barks and ran to him", Hank explained. This led to a lot sleepless nights in the past few days.

"I'm really sorry, Hank. I thought this was gonna be easier", Connor apologized.

"It's not your fault, kid. The poor guy was threaten badly and this will take some time to get well. And Sumo seems to help him a lot. Maybe it is good, that we are away for now. He could be less nervous without us constantly around him. That means less peeing on the floor, too", Hank murmured into his beard. Giggling Natalie leans back in the seat and watches out the car window. Hank shot her a glare through the driving-mirror which she decide to ignore with a huge grin on her face.

The crime scene was an abandoned warehouse in the east district of Detroit.

"Detective Anderson, this way please", said one of the police officers and led the way to a little rusty door.

Inside the warehouse was a real nightmare. Three bodies laid in there but no clue where the heads were. On the wall was a message saying: 'The Hessian is awoken.'

The scripture was written in blue blood, though the bodies definitively are humans.

"Who the heck is 'the Hessian'", asks Hank.

"'The Hessian is awoken' is a quotation from the gothic horror novel 'Sleepy Hollow' written by Washington Irving. The story is based on the tale of the headless horseman, who supposedly was an Hessian soldier in the Civil War who lost his head during a battle. In the novel his ghost returns to search for his head. Thereby he beheaded everyone who stands in his way", explained Connor in every detail.

"He is better than Wikipedia, don't you think Hank", Natalie giggled.

"As long as he isn't licking something", was the only answer she received.

"I don't think that I need to 'lick something', Detective", the android stated nearly offended.

"But I have to admit that we don't have much evidence. The bodies are all male, around thirty and Red Ice dealer. Their names are Michael McNeil, Frank White and George Irving. When they were beheaded they were probably alive and running from their murder."

Hank, Natalie and Connor went silent and looked around the warehouse. No signs of any traces from horses or other evidences on how the victims were murdered.

"The font implies that the message was written by a human", Connor proceeded listening the evidences.

"That means we are searching for a human that kills three people and what the hell did he do with the heads?"

Hank was really confused. For the next week they found five more headless bodies. Every 'victim' was a well known Red Ice dealer and the newspaper were full of theories about the headless horseman and his vendetta.

But one night the murder made a mistake. He ripped one of his gloves and leaves a fingerprint in the blood font.

"The fingerprint led us to a deliverer working for Cyberlife. That explains where he get that huge amount of Thirium. His name is Victor Gunn, he is 28 and a month before the first murders his wife died was shot during a failed Red Ice deal", Natalie reads from the file.

"We got his address but I doubt that we will find him there. Short after the day we found the second crime scene he was fired due to the fact that he was absent for a few weeks and Thirium disappeared from his deliveries", Hank added to the report.

"Where do we find Victor? If he is not at home or at work he could be everywhere", Natalie sighs. She slumps on Hanks desk and base her head in her hands.

"Unless he makes another mistake, it will be hard to find him."

Connor lays a hand on her shoulder and smiles.

"When nothing happens today we should go home. We had way too much overtime the last days. Hey, how about you come to us. Sumo and Cole would be happy to see you again. And honestly, girl, you need to relax", Hank stated. Smiling Natalie agreed to come over. It was quite some time since she last seen Sumo and Cole and it would be fun to visit the two dogs again.

But unfortunately it shouldn't be tonight.

"Detective Anderson, a suspect was seen who looks like your wanted person", an android officer called for Hank and the others. Immediately the three of them jumped from their seats and rushed the female android. Connor connected and get the informations they needed. As quickly as they can the three headed to the old warehouse where tonight should be a big deal for Red Ice. Two big dealer and their henchmen are supposed to appear. It has to do with a huge amount of money and drugs.

The team and a swat union surrounded the warehouse and Hank entered together with Connor the building while Natalie waits outside to coordinate the clutch of the swat.

Meanwhile Hank tried to calm down Gunn so that they don't need to hurt him.

"Victor hear me out. I know how you feel about these scum. They risk lifes to make money and other people have to suffer because of them. We keep loosing family because of them, but do you think Margot wants for you to kill and end up being not better as they are?"

As Hanks words started to get through Victor he starts shaking and drops the gun. Connor give the signal for Natalie and the swat for the clutch. Quickly the team rushes in and detained the dealers. Victor gave up and goes along freely. He would be arrested for a very long time though he was the actual victim.

The story of the little pup can be read in my prompt 'sleepsong - Bastille' for @tea-with-loki's 2k follower challenge #wolfys2k.

#detroit become human #detroit connor #connor rk800 #deviant connor #hank anderson #tale tellers fright night 2018 #dbh connor #dbh connor x oc

6 notes · View notes

eds-zebra-warrior · 3 years

Text

2021 Ehlers Danlos Society Awareness Month (Day 18 Prompt: Words to Parents)

I am interpreting this prompt in two different ways so will address it as such starting with explaining how my parents are with my condition and then words to parents of kids newly diagnosed or who present with a wide array of symptoms.

My parents were awesome prior to my diagnosis. There were things I wish they had known and even now wish they knew but I almost always had that support system some don't have. Sure there were a lot of times I would tell my mom I was having chest pain or my heart was pounding where she would say “It's probably just anxiety” and of course when anyone has a headache, runny nose, stuffy nose, scratchy throat or generally coming down with some kind of bug her notorious saying was “It’s probably just your sinuses” which me and my dad still talk about to this day. She went decades of her life taking Sudafed every morning truly believing she just had bad sinuses to find out years later she was actually having an allergic reaction the entire time due to Systemic Mastocitosis and really needed allergy meds and since she had bad sinus issues she seemed to think anything and almost everything that someone was experiencing from the lungs lungs up, weather it be a migraine, eye pain, sore throat, coughing, going horse, runny nose, bloody nose etc. it was just your sinuses which usually wasn't the case because soon after I would test positive for strep throat, oh the times I had strep throat. I had it so often that when I got it, I started not even noticing the throat pain believing my mom that it was my sinuses but more major like a sinus infection, to go to the doctor and find I had strep again and was desensitized to the pain. Sometimes my whole throat and mouth would be covered in blisters before the pain was bad enough just because I always had strep. Occasionally it was other things like my migraines growing up I now know were from Occipital neuralgia, craniocervical and atlantoaxial instability. So she didn't always take me seriously but I have to admit, after two decades of your life being told you're a hypochondriac and your symptoms are all in your head, I started to believe I was crazy myself and that my symptoms either weren't real or much less severe than they really were.

My dad being autistic never really dealt with my health stuff very much. He just isn't knowledgeable in it and has no clue what to do so my mom was the one who did that. Though she pawned off a lot of my more serious issues on it all being on my head she was always there for me. She took me to the hospital if it was needed and knew I didn't say I needed to go to the hospital unless I really felt like death. There have been several times where doctors have tried to say nothing is wrong and send me home where she has literally refused to take me home or argued with doctors but this was mostly after my diagnosis. I kind of wish she would have done this and pushed harder when I was a kid as she very much has, I guess you would call it brand loyalty but it went further than only grocery shopping at Meijer, literally fighting with me for years about leaving Verizon because in her mind Verizon was the only company that was any good, only allowing one person to cut her hair even if it meant following her to a new job, she had a doctor she liked and stayed with him for most of my life and denied he wasn't a good doctor after an incident in high school which caused me to switch. It's hard for her to move on even if there is no progress or things start to get worse so one thing I wish is she would have done a little more doctor shopping when I was a kid.

Doctor shopping is oftentimes frowned upon at and when most people hear of doctor shopping they tend to think of it as someone who goes from doctor to doctor looking for drugs or or to sign disability papers so they can get a free ride at life but when you have a rare disease doctor shopping means something totally different and can even be so vitally important your life and future depends on it. I had so many doctors who simply invalidated my symptoms saying I was making them up for attention or had a mental illness. Many of these doctors did nothing at all but the majority of them did the exact same tests over and over. If it was a doctor outside of the hospital they did a CBC, Chem. and a 7 (Basic Metabolic Panel) which always came back normal or borderline normal therefore they deemed me healthy, slapped a psychiatric disorder on me or simply said there's nothing wrong and sent me on my way,

If I went to the hospital, they would do the CBC, Chem. 7, accuse me of doing drugs or being pregnant or when I was really little bring in case managers making accusations of child abuse that wasn't happening, then do a drug test, pregnancy test and STD testing, say the CBC and Chem. 7 were normal or near normal, congratulate me on not being pregnant, having any illegal substances in my system or STD’s, slap a psychiatric disorder on me saying they tested everything and sent me home. When I got older, lucky me, I got two drug tests, the urinalysis drug test and when it came back normal, they would come in and draw my blood assuming if I was having seizures, passing out or having heart palpitations I must be on drugs and tampered with the urine test. I wish prior to my diagnosis my dad would have had a computer and learned to use it and both my parents would have done more research. I also wish they had advocated for me better and if one doctor said they didn't know or didn't believe me, they would have moved on to another doctor because if I could have gotten diagnosed sponsor it would have saved me some permanent damage to my body that I have now and possibly spared me some of the medical abuse and neglect though even with a diagnosis you can't avoid it, especially when it comes to the hospital.

Doctors and nurses are just as lazy as everyone else. It's just like every other job where 5% of the employees do 90% of the work and 90% of the employees do 5% of the work. The ones who actually take their jobs seriously are used to the max by their coworkers and like me when I was a nurse, didn’t believe the patients deserved to suffer or pay for their staffs laziness and neglect and those are the ones who try to play superman taking on their patients and everyone else's, answering call lights that aren't theirs, bringing food to others patients, making sure they are turned or their catheters have been emptied and generally running around like a chicken with their head cut off and I can always tell who falls into the 90% who uses the 5%, carrying less about the patient as long as they get a paycheck and the 5% who look like they are about to fall over yet still giving what they don't have to make sure the patient doesn't pay for their lazy staff member.

It's very easy to tell when you have spent a large portion of your life in doctors offices and hospitals and learn how rare it is to get one of the people in the 5% as your medical personnel and watching the lazy staff you have out your door at the nurses station sitting with other lazy staff in front a computer laughing at a YouTube video their watching, gossiping and talking badly about another patient loud enough for you to hear, playing pranks on each other, one nurse who drops her pants moons another in a room of 9-11 year old little boys, The nurse who has the pediatric patient who flat lines, on bad days, it's not uncommon for this to happen 20 times in one day and at their best, at the very least multiple times a week. The patient's vitals are linked to a pager the nurse carries so if the patient's heart stops the pager will alert them yet they consistently leave the pager in the patient's bed, on their night stand, at one of the computer kiosks where nurses chart, in another patients room, in the activity room or god knows where. I've found it in the bathroom on the toilet paper mount, in the linen closet on top of some towels, you name it then this same nurse who is buddy buddy with the nurse slips away with a coworker to the activity room or to the nurses lounge for you to later walk in on them playing cards and talking bad about patients or other staff. The two nurses going through a wedding magazine, looking at dresses and hear one say “That's my room”, and the other one say “Just ignore it and let Janett get it” Yes these are true stories down to the name used for the poor nurse who was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. All experiences I have seen either in the roll of the nurse and in the roll of the patient.

I was mostly around nurses and of course you don't see doctors very often but being in a chair I have been forced to use a bedpan before and seen examples similar to this with doctors as well. Once I was taken downstairs for a cardiac ultrasound, asking to go to the bathroom before they took me down because I had my call light on to go before transport even came in my room. They told me I would only be down there 10 or 15 minutes and asked me if I could wait. They took me down there to beds of people lining the halls and I had 18 people in front of me. Well, 15 minutes turned into 4 hours. I asked multiple times to go to the bathroom and they said they don't have a wheelchair down there and if I can't walk to the bathroom I have to hold it. I even asked if they could call up to my room and have my mom bring my chair down and as gross as it sounds, I even got desperate, breaking into a sweat I had to pee so bad and asked them to wheel my bed outside the bathroom and lower it as low as it goes, and I would put my blanket and pillows on the floor and slide out of my bed onto the floor myself and they can pull me on the blanket to the toilet or I could army crawl and use my arms to pull myself up onto the toilet. They still said no. I asked earlier on if they could take me back to my room or bring a wheelchair, still no.

Eventually I told one of the nurses that I had to pee for 3.5 hours, she saw that I was all sweaty and shaking. I said if they don’t get me somewhere to pee within the next few minutes they were going to have a huge mess to clean up. She grabbed two bedpans, a small one and a bit one, said you're tiny and I told her no, use the big one, I have EDS so my bladder can stretch really far and I can easily pee 22 oz. so she rolled me into a doctor's personal office, he was in there watching a movie on Netflix on his computer, yes a full blown Netflix movie. He tried to flip the screen back to an ultrasound image really quick when the nurse stormed in with me to make it look like that's what he was doing but he fumbled around a little bit and wasn't fast enough. The nurse told him to get out so he left and I had to pee in a bed pan in his office… then spent the next few weeks having to wear diapers for bladder leaks because they let me hold my bladder so long my bladder stretched out too much from hypermobility and it folded on top of itself resulting in bladder leaks until it shrink back down. Thank you OSU. Doctors can also be extremely lazy and I wish this was something my parents acknowledged more or took more notice of and fought more for me, looked more into my rights, such as being able to call a patient advocate or fire doctors and nurses which is something I had to find out myself.

I found out I had EDS before I was even diagnosed which is what made me fight so hard to find a doctor who has heard of it. I got desperate being sick and spent years learning how to find and read medical journals. When Facebook started having groups I started joining groups to ask questions, I started going to doctors and no longer letting them call the shots. If they said they wanted to do a Chem. 7 and CBC I would say that's fine if they want to but it will come back normal and start requesting tests that aren't considered standard and that are used to test for specific conditions rather than just evaluating me for acute conditions. I started walking in and telling doctors how I felt and when they either said well we will see you in a year to see if things change or wanting to run just the basic CBC and Chem. 7 I would start saying “Could you run a 24 hour Tryptase Urinalysis”, “Could you run a gastric emptying study”, “could you run a 24 hour urine for Cortisol levels”, “could you run an ELISA”, “would you write for a flexion/extension MRI with contrast”, “What about a rotational CT” “Everyone wants to do a colonoscopy but instead of ordering that can you order an Endoscopy this time?” “I would like to get an “ATCH Stem test”, “I know you have never heard of one but if I email you the information will you order a Tilt Table Test”, “You’re doing that Aortic Ultrasound without contrast? It’s supposed to be done with contrast. Could you call up to the doctor and ask him to add contrast before you start?”

Sure a lot of doctors would downright refuse. I have gone in 5 and 6 times asking for a test and being told no, only to go in the 7th time and be told “It will come back negative but if I order this will you quit bugging me about it?” for them to order it and the test to come back positive for the condition I wanted it ordered for then they treat me like total crap to the point the office staff is mentioning about how bad he is treating me to find out he’s doing it on purpose to try to get rid of me as a patient, probably because he realized what he said was really wrong and he made himself look bad. I have learned that if a doctor isn't willing to listen to move on and find someone who will. You need to find one who is willing to run the test or even just ask if I can email them some medical journals or information about the test or showing the importance of it or why I believe it needs done, willing to learn and if I can prove my case they will order it no problem.

I wish I had someone who started this for me as a child who did the research or helped me do the research to know what tests to ask for and to find a new doctor for me if one was either trying to slap a psychiatric label on me or acted interested but simply refused to run any tests so my care went stagnant. I still wish my parents knew the ins and outs of EDS like I do and really researched it because it makes me a little nervous when a squad is called and they are stumbling over my diagnosis or saying “She has oh, that one heart thing that makes it go really fast. Oh what's it called or only naming like two of my conditions. It also scares me that one day I will be rushed in internally bleeding since things like Aortic Dissection, Carotid Dissection, Mesenteric Dissection, Iliac Dissection or Femoral Dissection as well as uterine and bowel rupture are common and can happen very suddenly in EDS that my parents may not know the common areas for bleeds or know them from most to least common so they may not know where to look or may not realize its actually internal bleeding at all until it's too late.

With all of the craniocervical manifestations I also fear I will be sent in for respiratory distress a or something else emergent relating to my craniocervical instability and my family family won’t realize its from the instability and if they do they wont know where to find information to prove this to a doctor or who the five surgeons in the US are who can operate on it so I will either end up on life support until someone gives up on finding the root of the problem which I knew all along what it was but couldn't tell anyone and pulls the plug, unable to tell anyone what is happening and advocate for myself, die before they even get a chance to hook me up to life support or end up under the knife of a surgeon who has absolutely no clue how to do the surgery I need and what modifications and special precautions need to be made for someone with EDS and I will die on the table like a few others I know or the last scenario, where I will have the surgery, wake up from it and it will be so botched that I’m one of the ones walking around with broken hardware, screws drilled into my spinal cord and paralyzed from the neck down, in more pain than I am now and the damage is too extensive to be repaired.

It's so important for the patient and their family to have very extensive knowledge of the condition since it's very complex and there are a lot of things that can go wrong at any given time. It's important to know what symptoms you are experiencing at any given time are associated with or at least the ability to know what medical emergencies are more common in EDS patients and the ability to narrow it down to 2 or 3 possibilities because most medical professionals don't learn about EDS or learn very little.

Just to put the complexity of the condition into perspective let's say you wanted to buy a book that taught you about diabetes and it was 500 pages long but you wanted to also buy a book on Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and be just as knowledgeable by the time you finish about EDS as you are when you finish the book on diabetes, there are about 15 common comorbidities of diabetes and about 250 common comorbidities of EDS. Diabetes can affect a handful of other organ systems however EDS effects every single part of the body so if you wanted to be just as knowledgeable about EDS as you would about Diabetes after reading a 500 page book about it and its comorbidities, given they were only allowed to give you more basic knowledge of comorbidities, say 10-15 pages per comorbidity, depending on its complexity and the rest on Diabetes you would have to read about 4,573 pages and that's only for hypermobile form of EDS which is broken down into trifecta so I gave 15 pages to each comorbidity of diabetes, were going to assume this book is on type 1 diabetes given there are 2 types of diabetes and 13+ types of EDS so after giving 15 pages to the comorbidities the remaining was for the condition itself. Since hypermobile is usually seen in the trifecta I had to multiple the remaining pages by three then add 15 pages for each comorbidity to get the total number of pages and even this is a very rough estimate since we need to consider how many organ systems are involved in each and how complex the comorbidity.

In most medical textbooks EDS is not listed at all or is only condensed into a few paragraphs at the very most while learning about collagen and connective tissue so if anyone in the medical field learns about it at all its very very little, so little that they can easily forget those one or two paragraphs they read our of the thousands of pages they read during medical school.

Now I know it sounds like I’m talking bad about my parents but that's not the case at all. My parents are incredible and so much better with my condition than a lot of others. They may not know the ins and outs of this but they know I am not faking anything, I’m not exaggerating, they know, especially with my PTSD, that if I go to the hospital I am pretty darn sick and know when to make me go if I continue refusing to go to the hospital. They don't want to talk about it or admit it so will often downplay the fact that death can happen very easily and at any time and I am not going to live an average life expectancy. They may avoid talking about it or downplay it but I know they know just how serious this is but they already lost their son and don't want to lose their daughter so avoid the topic.

They refused to let me be sent to a nursing home or long term care facility when we were told I could no longer live alone and brought me into their house. They help me with a lot of my needs. Heck, my mom has given me baths as an adult because I have been too sick to do so. My mom helped with training Maggie to be a service animal, making sure I made it to all of her classes, helping me teach tasks I struggled with due to being in a chair, using her commands so she gets practice and doesn’t forget what she has learned. My dad not so much. He's a softie that has let every animal we have ever owned, own him. If it were up to him to do the training, Maggie probably wouldn't even be house broken yet if I’m totally honest lol. They have taken on so much with me and though I appreciate it more than they could ever know I also feel terrible guilt surrounding all that they do.

They have to drive me everywhere. The safety of public transportation in America for people on Medicare is downright deplorable. Only one agency contracted by Medicare has seat belts for wheelchair users, most of the vans are from the 90s and not up to code. They are actually so old that someone who is disabled isn't even allowed to buy one for personal at the age the ones the state provides transportation in here in Ohio because they don't meet the safety requirements even for the minimum amount of insurance yet a cab company is allowed to purchase and insure them to transport the disabled in. Its one of those things where it's illegal for the members of the state but the rule doesn't apply to the government kind of things. Their extremely dangerous, I have been in ones in my 425 lb. wheelchair, with my112 lb. self my 17 lb. service dog in her one or two pounds of gear and a backpack on the back of my chair with my meds and maybe some food and a drink in it to take to a doctors appointment so maybe another 10 or so lbs. of weight, riding in a van and staring through the rust holes in the floor looking at t the rusty parts under the van and the pavement of the highway underneath me, hoping to god the floor doesn't give way to all of this weight so I don't fall through.

I've been in two accidents with drivers, most of these drivers smell of mamajuana when they come and one of them had a rink that had a little tiny canister on it (If I remember I’ll post a picture I secretly took of it” at a stop light he opened the little can, poured white powder into his hand, used his other finger to brush it into a pile in his palm and then snorted it up his nose. I have ridden in vans someone threw up all over, one that the door to the wheelchair lift had 3 of its 4 hinges rusted all the way through so when the driver opened the door he had to hold it with one hand because it was hanging on there sideways like a broken cabinet door with only the bottom hinge still attached, got me up the lift then shut the door, came inside and used a bungie, hooking it in a hole that it looked like was drilled into the door and then a natural hole where the raised roof of the van and the bottom of the van attaches in a hole that didn't have a bolt. It was a really windy day and on the way back, we were driving down my road, a gust of wind blew, the bungee snapped, almost hitting me in the face, the door flew open and the last hinge snapped with the door flying off and into the gutter along the side of the road. We were right down the road from my house and the driver casually said “I'll go ahead and drop you off first and grab that on my way back.” like that kind of thing happens every day or something.

I have had a driver ask to stop at a gas station and I told him that was fine thinking he needed gas. He pulled up beside the end pump and instead of getting gas we sat there for about 3 minutes when another guy in a red truck pulled up along the side of the building. The driver got out of the van and went around the side of the building where the truck was. All I could see was the back of the truck sticking, about a minute later my driver came out from behind the truck, sticking something in his front pocket, the truck left and then we left. I was hoping to god it was just his brother or roommate or someone giving him some money for lunch or something but for real, a wallet goes in the back pocket and what he had was smaller than a wallet since you couldn't see what was in his hand and most people carry plastic these days so I’m pretty sure I was just hoping it was lunch money out of wishful thinking because with along the side of the building out of view of most of the public and all it seemed pretty sketchy to me.

Anyhow my parents do a lot, they drive me to appointments when they can to try to keep me out of the appalling care of the state, they let me live with them, they provide a lot of care, cooking, doing my laundry, vacuuming and doing a lot of the things that I feel like I should be doing for them at their age. It really does make me feel extremely guilty and like a terrible person. They help with Maggie taking her out just to help me out even though I can usually take her out myself unless it's icy or snowy since she basically takes herself out lol. I can go in the yard with her in the late spring to early fall when it's warm and dry out so my power chair won't sink into the mud. They will pick up food at the store or meds for me they do a lot and with my mom having EDS too, I have seen my mom go down hill a lot since her botched surgery that left her on life support so I hate asking either of them to do anything or for help. My dad is almost 66 and my mom, though 8 years younger gets around worse than my dad does so it's really hard to need so much care and feel like I put it on them, especially when my home health aid was taken away when the pandemic started but of course most of the home health aids I had were so English incompetent's and fresh out of countries where they didn't have stoves or washers and dryers and what not, living in huts that they don't know how to use modern appliances or understand me when I relay my needs which actually made things oftentimes harder with a home health and than without one as my parents were always coming home to fixing messes the aids made too.

With all that being said, here is my advice to parents of kids with suspected EDS. Get them diagnosed as early on as possible. Do lots of research, I know it's a pain and may be a lot of work but the more you know about the condition the better. Don't stop there, learn your rights and laws around medical care and disability rights as well as techniques for advocating for your child. Get them on a 504 plan at their school so they can get the accommodations they need. Learning disabilities aren’t uncommon and the prevalence of high functioning autism is incredibly high in EDS patients so if you suspect they may have a learning disability fight for a diagnosis and have that added to the 504 plan. A 504 plan isn't just for learning disabilities, it can be for physical disabilities as well.

You don't want to caudle you child of course and many don't have a lot of severe symptoms as kids but make sure the plan accommodates for things such as food allergies, if they have POTS or low blood sugar make sure they have it in their plan to be able to bring their own food, be able to eat in class. I know on mine, I was allowed to use the teachers lounge microwave during lunch to heat food brought from home and they allowed me to use the bathroom in the nurse's office if I needed it. You can ask for things like that they not be punished for arriving to class after the bell within reason, especially if the school is large and they may have several classes on the opposite side of the building as their locker so they aren't forced to carry books for multiple classes or for them to have two sets of books, one that they keep at home and one that is in each classroom they attend class in so they aren't having to carry heavy books around or teased for having a backpack on wheels. This is one thing I would have really liked to have written into my IEP as a kid if I had been lucky enough to get diagnosed sooner. If they are more symptomatic, more prone to injury or have VEDS they may have more needs.

Again you don't want to be a helicopter parent and want them to do as much stuff for themselves as it is safe for them to do and want them to have all the experiences other children do but if gym is an issue you can request they don't participate in high contact sports or even have it put into their IEP that they can swap gym out for another elective like music, art or home economics class or in the lower grades where they may not have options for alternative electives you can ask if they have any teachers or aids available during that time frame who can create somewhat of a study hall for the younger child, helping them with their homework, studying for tests, able to sit there and let the child read a book to them and help them with any words they struggle with or even just play some educational games with them or let them play an educational game on the computer.

Some schools also offer physical therapy for kids, especially the ones with developmental delays who may not be mainstreamed and the therapy replaces gym for them. Even if your child has cognitive abilities cohesive with their age, you could see if they are allowed to join therapy with those children. With being able to do so much online now, I have heard of some requesting that on their bad days the teachers live stream them into their classroom so they can participate in class from home when needed or if the child needs a surgery or has a doctors appointment they can live stream in instead of going to school or live stream in part of the day before or after an appointment, going to school the other half of the time. You may also request extended time on homework like instead of turning it all in the next day, ask that they have the week, for example, they have to have all homework turned in from that week by the following Monday so say they are having a really bad day Wednesday and in a lot of pain or very fatigued and can only get their math homework done but not their English, science and history. They will be able to work on that homework throughout the week possibly adding the English to their Thursday homework, the science to their Friday homework and catch up on the history over the weekend so they at least aren’t failing or losing credit on homework if there are a few days a month where they are really struggling or not feeling well.

Another reason I suggest learning everything you can and really fighting for a diagnosis early is because if you work you are more likely to have a PPO insurance plan which covers a lot more than Medicare. You can get some things that Medicare won't cover out of the way in case the child has a possibility of being disabled as an adult. Genetic testing is one thing you really want to try to get done as a child as hospitals in some states like my own will not do genetic testing for EDS on adults unless they have another family member who has tested positive for one of the rarer forms of EDS.

You don't want to be in the situation I am where you have four doctors sure you have Vascular form and have been fighting to get you tested, your brother died before he had any testing, your uncle had an aortic aneurysm and died never getting diagnosed, you were referred to a geneticist who won't test you because you are under 21 and no one in you family has tested positive on genetic testing for VEDS, your mom is referred to genetic testing after coming out of a coma and being on life support after a major organ rupture that almost took her life and turned away for the same reason and your grandfather is referred and turned away leaving multiple members of the family suspected of having EDS but no one able to be tested because we are all over the age of 21 and I can’t have children nor would I want to because of the fear of passing this down to them there will not be anyone under the age of 21 to get tested in order for us to get tested so your stuck without a diagnosis. This is why you need at least a hypermobile diagnosis so you have time to fight for the genetic testing to ensure it isn’t a more serious type, especially if a doctor suspects it.

If your child has severe enough symptoms you can also get them listed as disabled under the state in order to get extra financial aid to cover medical needs not covered or special equipment like gait trainers or possibly a power chair for school and a manual chair at home It can cover the cost of tutoring and several other things insurance may not cover. If they grow up and work for so many years and end up getting worse, needing to go onto SSDI their SSDI it will also make it so that their payout will be higher if its on record that they were disabled before the age of 18.

Having a child with a complex health condition, especially when the condition is rare can be a lot of work and very stressful at times. Definitely learn everything you can and fight for a diagnosis for your child. If you suspect you may have the condition fight for a diagnosis for yourself as well. The sooner anyone starts treatment and can get regular screenings such as those for aortic dissection the more they can prevent damage early on and also prevent life threatening complications so that’s my advice to any parent out there.

#MyEDSChallenge #MyHSDChallenge

0 notes