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#this is ...i think....one of my fave i have done

bbydoll18xx · 13 hours

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Guilty As Sin?

'We've already done it in my head'

Paige Bueckers x reader

I've never written anything, so this could very well be terrible, but I have a teeny tiny crush and it's killing me lol here we go!

word count: 3.1k

warnings: some naughty thoughts, ANGST, friends to lovers aka my fave

....................................................................................................

If there was one thing you had learned throughout your time at uconn, it was that it was pretty fucking difficult being Paige Buecker’s best friend.

You had met her early in your freshman year when the boisterous blonde was partnered with you in an introductory biology course. You attempted to hold back a groan and an eyeroll as you heard your professor assign the two of you together for an upcoming lab project. You hated group projects, and even more, you could not stand the prospect of not getting a good grade in a class so important for your major.

Paige, even as a freshman, was extremely popular. Her incessant smirk caused girls to blush under her gaze, and the boys basically broke their necks trying to impress her. She was the type of girl who knew she was hot shit.

Unfortunately, that was your type.

As Paige strolled over to where you were waiting for her, you tried desperately to ignore the uptick of your pulse. ‘Get it together,’ you thought to yourself. Girls like that should have no control over you.

“Hey, I’m Paige. I don’t think we’ve met. I would’ve remembered someone like you,” she murmurs flirtatiously, looking you up and down. Trying to keep the pink out of your cheeks and taking a deep breath, you hold out your hand and introduce yourself.

That was the beginning of the wildly complex and intimate friendship you would build with Paige.

As a senior in college, you had learned many things: don't drink copious amounts of alcohol without eating some carbs first, avoid getting into ubers alone, do not, under any circumstances, hook up with your TA, and falling in love with your best friend is never good.

It started off innocently enough.

Paige was clingy and affectionate to those she was close with. You, being bisexual and surrounded by mostly straight people before coming to uconn, were hesitant with showing any sort of affection. You had always worried about accidentally giving your girl friends the wrong impression. Paige never cared, though, as she conditioned you into accepting hugs and tentative hand-holding. You grew to crave her warm, longer fingers wrapped around yours or her hand resting on your leg when she’s next to you at dinner or in the car.

You had realized you were head over heels for her in your sophomore year, and the rest was history.

History you’d very much like to forget.

You were laying on the couch in your apartment. Music filled the room and you basked in the warmth of the sunshine. You rarely have moments of peace anymore, now that school had started back up.

Suddenly, the front door flung open dramatically, allowing several members of uconn’s women’s basketball team to enter as if they owned the place.

“Hey girlie pop!” screamed KK. “We are going out tonight, and before you say no, you are coming with us.”

“What happened to bodily autonomy?” You questioned with an eye roll. This happened all the time. Paige and her teammates had made it their personal mission to turn you into an alcoholic.

“Fuck that,” chirped Paige. “You had all week to chill, and I will not stand for that shit for another minute. Party P is comin' out in full force tonight, and I expect the same from yo' ass."

You let your eyes lock with hers. God that shade of blue made you want to drown in it, gasping for sanity as if it was air.

“C’mon, you always do this. We’re going crazy tonight,” demanded Nika.

Pretending to think about it, you hesitantly agree. You didn’t have any control when it came to Paige. Whatever she wanted from you, she got. You chalked it up to being best friends, but your stupid brain always reminded you of the true source of power.

Paige, Nika, KK, and Azzi all celebrated as you acquiesced, already planning drink orders, outfits, and song requests at the bar they always frequented.

You sighed as Paige sat down next to you. You could handle this. You always did. Focused on anything other than her, you pick at a piece of lint on the soft green couch. Everything seemed to be a distraction from her. The heat of her body sends your pulse racing, just as it did the very first time you met. She really was an enigma.

“I’m glad you’re coming,” she murmurs softly. “Wouldn't be the same if you weren’t there.”

Taking a page out of the Paige playbook, you look her up and down and respond with an “I know.” She momentarily wears a look of shock, before her lips slide into that smirk again, and she laughs. The sound makes you want to run through a field of flowers and then jump from a building.

The pregame was, like always, chaotic, loud, and gave you anxiety. A drunk Paige was a clingy Paige, and you were not sure you could handle the extra touching tonight. One of the bottles of vodka that sat on the counter in the kitchen was beckoning to you, and you decided quickly that the only way you were getting through the night was with copious amounts of alcohol.

As you swallowed with a grimace, feeling the burn slide down your throat and settle into a warm pool in your belly, the door opened. Paige appeared, rubbing her hands together, looking like she was ready to fuck shit up. Your shit already felt ruined as you gulped at the sight of her. The black crop top she had on made you quickly spin around, shooting another shot in a desperate attempt to distract yourself from the hunger that was brewing.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there. We don’t need you wasted before we even leave,” Paige taunts teasingly, as she saunters over to you.

With your cheeks pink and inhibitions already lowered, you licked your lips in a manner you could only hope looked seductive and put the bottle into her outstretched hand. For the second time today, a flicker of surprise graced her features. ‘Good,’ you thought. ‘Two can play that game.’

As Ted’s was close to the apartments you all were living in, it was decided that a walk would be more efficient than attempting to wrangle the numerous already drunk girls into ubers.

You cherished the warm breeze flowing through your hair, allowing it to briefly sober you up. Walking alongside Azzi and Caroline, you let out another small sigh, catching their attention. Your feelings were evident to pretty much everyone except Paige, and her teammates often tried to coax you into admitting your feelings to her.

“Try to have fun tonight. Find someone hot to grind on, and you’ll feel better,” Azzi said unhelpfully. You laughed, but it wasn't a bad idea. “You’re right. I need a distraction. And preferably someone who is not blonde,” You muttered, causing Azzi and Caroline to giggle.

Paige’s head whipped around at the sound of laughter. She pouted for a second before bounding over to you. She secretly hated the attention you gave her teammates; she wanted you all to herself.

Paige was possessive, as well as mouthy when drunk, which could be a messy combination. But Paige did not care about being messy tonight. She wanted your attention and your attention only. She knew she could very well embarrass herself, but the desperation of needing your attentiveness was far more important. She could handle her anxieties in the morning.

“There’s my pretty princess,” Paige announces loudly, taking my hand into hers, almost possessively. The pet name wasn’t unfamiliar. Paige called you every name under the sun except the one on your birth certificate, yet the sudden affection caused your heart to lurch dangerously.

You needed a drink.

The bar was already buzzing when you walked in alongside the girls, still being pulled along by the tall blonde. You were fortunate it was dark inside, allowing a sense of privacy to indulge in the intimacy Paige was supplying to you.

She places a hand on your waist, looking down at you. “Imma get you a drink, babe. Stay here with the girls, and do not let any creeps touch you.” You could tell the few drinks she had at the pregame were already getting to her. She was getting more proprietorial.

You nodded, but you wanted to see how far you could push her. You’d do anything for her attention, even if that meant flirting with a boring guy to test her. She was sexy when she was pissed.

You fantasized about the way her jaw clenches when she's angry, as you scoped out for someone to be the target of your favorite unhealthy game. A six-foot blonde with light blue eyes catches your gaze, and you smirk. ‘Game time,’ you think.

With a smoldering look in your eyes, and the alcohol in your veins to keep you feeling confident, you walk up to the guy and introduce yourself. You find out his name was Josh and quickly shift in closer to him, feigning intimacy you would only ever want with Paige.

It’s not long before you feel Paige slid between you and Josh, creating the distance you wanted since you walked up to him.

“Paigey!” you exclaim. “This is Josh. He wants to dance with me.”

You see Paige jaw clench in annoyance and she pushes the drink she brought you into your hand before wrapping her now free arm around your waist with her hand splayed against your belly. You shiver at the contact.

“Go away before I make you, bro. She’s mine,” Paige practically barks at Josh. He shrinks away with a weird expression on his face.

You weren’t sad to see him go.

“Thanks for rescuing me, Paigey,” you beam up at her and take a drink. Paige’s eyes never leave your lips as you bite them, looking around the crowded bar. Your lips are pink from the gloss you just applied, and she thinks about how they’d feel against hers.

Paige would never admit it aloud, but she thinks about you. She thinks about your dimples when you smile at her. She thinks about your laugh. She thinks about how you taste. In her head, they are together. In her head, you are spread out underneath her, begging for her tongue, her fingers, for anything.

Paige is used to people throwing themselves at her, and the idea of rejection, especially from you, makes her shrink back in fear.

Paige’s eyes are hazy as the dirty Shirley starts to float its way through her veins. She relishes in the feeling of lowered inhibitions and the perfect excuse to get closer to you. Paige pulls you into her to dance. With the alcohol fully in your system, as well, you giggle and seductively dance against her. You can feel the tight muscles of her abs up against you, and you swallow thickly. It's difficult to ignore the way it makes you feel hot and sticky.

“God, P,” you mumbled against her pale throat.

“You look so good dancin’ against me, you don’t even know, babe,” Paige replies with her signature smirk.

You could feel the boundaries of your friendship slowly stretching to accommodate the feelings of lust sparking between the two of you.

Between the dancing and the copious amounts of alcohol flowing, the night flew by quickly. Soon, you were getting pulled through the door and back out into the chilly Connecticut air with Paige holding you steady. You were a notorious lightweight compared to the girls of the basketball team, and that hadn’t changed tonight.

“P-paigeyyy,” you whined needily. “Need you,” you pouted up at the blonde. The other girls in your vicinity shared curious looks with each other. You had never acted like this before whilst drunk, and no one really knew how to respond, Paige included.

“What do ya need from me, princess?” Paige asked with a chuckle.

You motion for her to lean down and you whisper in her ear, “kisses.”

“Oh? You wanna kiss me?” Paige questions, feeling all the blood rush to her head.

You nod with a dreamy look on your face. You were going to regret this in the morning, but right now all you could think about was how soft her lips looked and how much you wished you could be hers.

'We've already done it in my head,' you thought drunkenly.

Paige looks down at you with an unrecognizable look, but she presses a soft kiss on your forehead and says, ‘“let's get you home and to bed, doll.”

As you stumble back into Paige’s apartment and onto her bed, you look up at her and raise your hands over your head, making grabby hands at her. Paige rolls her eyes fondly but helps you get undressed. Walking you into the bathroom, she lifts you up onto the counter effortlessly, helping you take your makeup off and brush your teeth.

It felt so domestic you could cry.

Climbing into bed, your drunk mind prepared itself to sleep next to Paige. It would never feel like enough to you. You wanted all of her.

Paige lies down behind you, wrapping a long and muscular arm around your waist, caging you in just the way you like it. You are a second away from sleep enveloping you, when you think you hear Paige whisper, “I am so in love with you.”

Your heart stops.

You wake up the next morning with your head pounding. You squint your eyes and look around. Paige is still sleeping next to you. You gently smile as you gaze at her peaceful figure. You wish you could stop time to stay here in this bubble with her. Soon, you’ll go back to being just Paige’s best friend, and the relationship you’ve built up in your head will come crashing back down.

Soon enough, the blonde wakes up, ripping you from your daydreams. She smiles at you, and turns over to completely face your body. “Crazy night, huh,” she alludes slyly.

Your eyebrows crinkle in question. “Did something happen?"

“Uh yeah…you don’t remember what you said to me?” she asks.

You shake your head in confusion, but you start to attempt to recall the events of last night, and all of a sudden it comes back to you. You recall asking her to kiss you, hanging all over her, and the incessant pouting and neediness.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment, and immediately you jump out of bed to leave.

“Wait, don’t go please,” Paige pleads in a way that is startling unlike her.

You ignore her pleas, gathering your stuff and running out of her apartment. Tears burn your eyes as they threaten to slide down your face. You try to stifle your sobs as you climb the stairs two at a time and get to your own door. You throw yourself into your shower as you attempt to drown out your own cries.

As you sat on the floor of your shower you could not believe how stupid you were. Drunk flirting with your best friend would be the end of your friendship. You could see it already. Paige coming to you, trying to let you down easy. You felt so humiliated.

You sat there until the water got uncomfortably cold, leaving goosebumps against your skin. As you toweled off, you replayed the events of last night in your head for the millionth time. The dancing in the bar, the walk back to Paige’s apartment, her helping you undress. You sigh at the idea of losing her before it all comes crashing back.

“I am so in love with you,” she had whispered into your hair. You still at the memory. Paige loves you? Sure it's common knowledge that you loved and craved her with all of your being, but a love that was requited? It was almost too much to think about.

You grab your phone that you had left abandoned on the couch and see the messages from the blonde. Messages of regret and longing fill your phone. One more pops up as you scroll, saying ‘I’m coming over. I won’t let you avoid me over this bullshit.’

A few moments passed before there was a loud banging on the door to your apartment. You had never felt so appreciative that your roommates had left for the weekend. Your breath grew ragged as the door slowly creaked open, revealing a panting Paige. Her blue eyes looked almost wild as they met yours.

“C’mere, just let me explain,” she says quietly. You weren't used to Paige being quiet and almost solemn. It scared you, just as the thought of confrontation did. This was not a conversation you wanted to have.

Fighting your own instincts to immediately bolt, you gingerly sit on the couch where she had already made herself comfortable. Some things never change.

“Listen,” she starts out cautiously. “I never want things to be weird between us. I never imagined I would be feeling this way towards someone who was just a friend, but…I think we haven’t been ‘just friends’ in a while.”

You finally allow yourself to meet her gaze, trying to search for any semblance of where this conversation could possibly be going. Surprisingly, she looked hopeful, as if she knew something you did not.

“I-i want you. Like, more than a friend,” Paige stutters out, “And I think you feel the same way. We’ve both been too scared to admit it, but I’m tired of ignoring how you literally make me feel whole.”

You blink back more tears in realization that the last three years of hell of being only Paige Bueckers’ best friend was finally coming to an end. She could finally be all yours and yours only.

Without thinking, you place a hand on her jaw, bringing her to your lips. They meet yours with such hesitancy you almost think you’ve ruined the delicate balance of what you are to each other at the moment. Paige lets out a breathy sigh and pulls you onto her lap.

You were heavenstruck.

As the both of you finally pull away from the drug of a kiss, you look at each other and giggle.

“So much for the dramatics, I guess,” laughs Paige.

You smile, rolling your eyes. “Not my fault,” you pout. “I have no control when it comes to you, P.”

“Same,” grins Paige. “The only thing left to do is figure out how to tell the girls. They’ve all been beggin’ me to tell you ‘bout my lil crush on you.”

“Those bitches knew?” you ask incredulously.

“Well yeah,” Paige says. “I’m not subtle.”

You giggle at how stupid you felt. The signs were there all along, but the fear of rejection and the cloud of lust had obscured any indications of reciprocity.

“Let’s just start making out the next time we’re in front of them and see how they react,” Paige suggests with a waggle of her eyebrows.

You could hear the whoops and cheers already.

“Deal,” you say blissfully.

She was finally yours.

#paige bueckers #paige x reader #paige bueckers x reader #uconn #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball #uconn wbb #guilty as sin?

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hotvintagepoll · 1 day

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I think a fun little mini-poll would be a "Favorite new crush you've discovered thanks to this poll", with some of the lesser-known ladies* who have done very well! (My personal new faves are Francine Everett and Madhubala.)

*Obviously "lesser-known" is subjective based on cultural context and so on, but the ones who are probably lesser-known to most of the voters.

just send me asks telling me who your new faves are! I want to hear about it.

#asks

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dangermousie · 18 hours

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Here is my subjective ranking of all the costume trailers iQIYI released (since I didn’t watch moderns or republican stuff they posted) note - not only is it subjective, it is just the trailers which often does not correlate with either quality of or my interest in the drama itself.

11 Go East - I am vvvv fond of Tan Jianci but this was the only trailer that bored me. It wasn’t bad, it just gave me NO hook of any kind. It’s a pity since this was one of the very few historical trailers (as opposed to wuxia, xianxia etc) and I love those. This said, trailers and dramas often don’t correlate so I hope the drama is good.

10 Reborn for Love - half this trailer is cutesy hijinks and I am just not wired for that. By the time the trailer was halfway over, I found myself thinking that if it wasn’t for leads, I’d not check it out. But the back half has blood and romance and I sat up and paid attention.

9 Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Red Moon Pact - I wanted to be more excited for this than I was. I love the cast. But even in comparison with the trailers for the other two entries in the series it looks…generic. I don’t truly get the vibe or the story. It’s nice but doesn’t grab me.

8 Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Sword and Beloved - it’s gorgeous and intense and screams fantasy romance and Cheng Yi fighting and bleeding. Pay your taxes, everyone!

7 Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Love in Pavillion - the visuals, the vibe, the angsty love feel, the colors! That trailer was my fave out of Fox ones. I need this drama now!

6 Strange Tales of Liao Zhai 2 - I haven’t seen s1 and mysteries (even supernatural ones) aren’t my thing. But the visuals in that trailer are insane and I spy with my little eye Yang Xuwen as one of two mains and the man owns my heart for Eternal Brotherhood and he brings his young Hu Ge vibes here too!

5 Win or Die - this baby is apparently only 18 eps and is all war war war but it’s a Cao Dun drama so the visuals are eye popping. It’s just stunning to look at tbh and sometimes (a lot of times), I want a grim war epic.

4 The Legend of Rosy Clouds - this trailer just grabbed me for some reason - it really makes you want to watch these people. It’s not visually amazing compared to the rest but it’s just dragging me in. In fact, while this isn’t my favorite trailer, out of all the dramas they promoed, this is the one I want to actually watch the most. I used to love the anime so maybe that’s why?

3 Snowy Night: Timeless Love - all the snow and the longing and the battles and we all know we will see red blood on that pristine white soon enough.

2 Love of the Divine Tree - it’s very very pretty and has so much shipping and angst and I have a huge 17 hangover so seeing Deng Wei with similar vibes is sending me. Honestly, my fantasy romance junkie is thirsting.

1 Fangs of Fortune - if someone told me a trailer for a drama full of actors I don’t care for would be my favorite, I’d not have believed it but here we are. This is fantasy and visuals and hooking you done right. I need this NOW!

ETA; I forgot follow your heart OMG! That’s my most fave except for Fangs of Fortune!

ETA2: and A Moment But Forever - I would rank it just behind snowy love.

#cdrama

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orionsangel86 · 1 day

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You know, I thought we were done with the ageism in fandom thinking that its purely for teenagers? Because it doesn't help anyone to have the attitude of this (now blocked) anon. People don't stop having passions and being fans of things just because they get older. Fandoms thrive BECAUSE older people put in the effort to MAKE them thrive. Do you really think that 100k word perfectly written epic fanfic that you adore so much was written by a 16 year old? Because I guarantee it was more likely to be written by a 35 year old mother of 2.

That amazing cosplay of your fave character you saw at a recent comic con that took phenomenal skill and probably a good deal of expense to look perfect wasn't put together by a 17 year old high schooler, it was perfected through years of passion into a hobby that more than likely required a full time job and a savings account to afford.

That amazing fanartist who has the BEST art of your OTP that captures their likeness in a really gorgeous style? They weren't born with that talent. It takes years to develop a personal art style, and capturing a persons likeness in art is a skill that has to be nurtured. The best artists are the ones who've had years to develop their skills. They aren't school kids. I have had mutuals on this site for a decade now and I have seen how much their art has improved and become absolutely beloved. These are people who at their youngest are in their late 20s now. Most of my mutuals are in their 30s, some of the best fanfiction writers I know are in their 40s and 50s. The meta writers I know are also in my age group. Hell, do you think teenagers run AO3? You'll be surprised just how many "old people" make the best fanworks. If you removed them from fandom spaces, I guarantee you would remove most of the talent, because no offence to you kids, but that talent is something that is nurtured over time, and time and aging go hand in hand i'm afraid.

The people who make fandoms what it is, the ones running events, pouring themselves into analytical posts, providing the best fanart, coming up with the amusing memes and textposts that go viral? Do you REALLY think they are all school kids? Fandoms are made up of PEOPLE, and newsflash assholes, people AGE.

This attitude always amazes me. There isn't an age limit in fandom. This isn't fucking Logan's Run (bet you the kids won't understand that reference) and honestly if these kids genuinely think they need to give it up and quit at a certain point in their future I just pity them.

Fandom thrives because of the older people that have nurtured it for years and carved out a space where younger people can enter in comfort and safety. Which are only possible BECAUSE older people built online fandoms and continued to put in the work to keep them going. If we all had to stop caring and leave fandom at some specific cut off date, the fandom landscape would be a vastly different space - and probably a lot worse for being predominantly run by hormonal teenagers - heh, I guess it would be a lot more like TikTok and we all know how dreadful TikTok has been for fandom so far. If nothing else that alone proves my point.

At the end of the day, no one can stop the passing of time. Even the horrible children who send adults nasty anons. Eventually, they will be the "fandom elders" and receiving their own anon hate from a future generation of brats, I personally can't wait to be the very old lady laughing at them when that day inevitably comes.

#fandom #ageism #respect your elders #fandom problems

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goatskickin · 2 days

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hi, i've been learning how to make hair retextures and clothing recolors and your tutorials and tips have been super helpful! i was wondering if you could explain how you retexture clay hair? i'd want to add more realistic looking textures to some clay afro hairstyles but i don't know how to do it and i haven't find a tutorial for it

Hi anon, that's great! Making CC is really fun. 😊 I think so, anyway. So, I do have a tutorial about how to retexture clay hair, but instead of just providing you with that link, let's talk a little bit more about what you're interested in: adding more realistic looking textures to clay afro hairstyles. You're in luck - that's a thing I like to do sometimes too! Clay hairs often lend their shape very well to locs, braids, puffs, knots etc.

So this hair, @miniculesim's 4t2 conversion of okuree's Clementine. I have done before but didn't change the texture at the time. But I could! Let's try it.

This is the mesh and texture we will be working with.

Sometimes I like to view a mesh in UV Mapper so I can get way up in the mesh. Like way up in there.

I'd like to use my fave TS4 texture on this mesh.

This is the original texture for Clementine.

Where I have circled in red is where I am going to paste one long rectangle section of the TS4 Dread texture I prefer.

See? That's not so bad.

One big difference between retexturing alpha hairs and retexturing clay hairs is how the texture looks when the hair5 connects to the head.

See these starred red areas? We will come back to this. Because I don't like how that looks, and I can do better.

So, this is Clementine, with all of the locs texture that I'd like to have on it. It has the original scalp texture, however. It is okay, but not the vision I had in mind.

What I am going to do is put my afro texture underneath the locs.

I use Photoshop which allows me to have many many layers in an image.

My layers would be like:

1)Locs 2) Afro texture 3) the original texture.

It looks a little better. Not quite done yet, though.

When it comes to clay hair, I'm always on the side of 'if you can't beat em, join em!'.

Clay hair meshes have their textures painted to match their UV maps exactly. So, retexturing is tricky. I don't mind leaving in a little of the original texture, because why put it to waste when it's useful, you know?

I need to adjust the hairline texture though. That's not quite right.

What I have here is the 1) original texture around the hairline, then the 2) TS4 dread texture I added, and then 3) my afro texture layered both underneath and on top.

This works, I think! I like it.

And then in a black recolor of course, very important that that looks good on any afro/protective style.

I hope that this is helpful! Please feel free to DM me if you have questions. :)

#answered asks #sims 2 tutorial #rly hope that made sense!

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faulterge1st · 3 days

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Your Thoughts Aren't Word

To celebrate the day of the weed, I written an angsty Nikto x reader fic while I was high-fiving the sun in the clouds. 4/20 motivates you to do great things.

I love Nikto. He may not be my favorite, but he's the character I depend on when no one seems to want to make content of my faves. Keep in mind, I have a different spin on him than portrayed by most of the fandom. God, he's emotionally unstable <33

You were sure that Nikto didn't loved you.

All of it meant nothing, you think. Every forehead touch he gives before leaving for a mission, every offered cigarette that has been kissed by his scarred lips, every embrace he initiates in his sleep because he's too prideful to hug you awake... They weren't full of love. You were convinced that he felt nothing for you. Every single thing he'd done for you and to you, all of it was so that he could maintain you. It was all just to entertain you, his little pet that he goes to whenever he was down for the count and needed something or someone who gives him kisses for his scars and a warm bed to invade for the week.

He was using you, you think. You've seen his many moments where he would often get into relationships with other soldiers, only leave them high and dry when they least expected it. This was before the two of you started dating, of course. You couldn't imagine him in bed with someone else while you were together without your chest aching, but you wouldn't doubt it.

You're just like all his past lovers, you think. You were bound to be those people he fooled with shared liquors and a drunken kiss. You were going to be left on the floor of his room, cold and wondering where he was, whilst he drove away wiping off the ghosts of your kisses, warmed by the embers of his cigarette. You believed that firmly, because you saw it first hand. But for whatever reason, you didn't leave. You stayed even when you thought that he was going to leave without a word, leaving his things behind just to give you false hope that he was ever going to return.

You'll love him, even when he doesn't care, you think. Nikto many not care about you, or for you. He may treasure his guns, his hyena, his money more than you, but you will always cherish the moments when he took his time to make you feel loved. He was many things to you, which was why he was too much for you. But you can handle it. You think you can. You can take it whenever he doesn't appear for months, not a single message nor hint that he still remembers you. You can take it when he seems closer to his team, his fellow soldiers than you are with him. His conversations with his team was always longer than the amount of time his arm was placed around your shoulder, but you can handle it. The look he gives you when he's too drunk to put up his aloof act gave you the strength to keep going on. His tight hugs he gives you when he's tired encourages you. His lingering touches keep you going, even when hasn't uttered a single "I love you" to you before. Even when he doesn't seem to love you, you can take it, you think.

But, he thinks he does love you. All those things that hinted at his desire was full of love. His hesitation to express affection was thrown away just so that he could show you that he's in love with you without a word.

He's just scared to say "I love you," he thinks. He doesn't want to scare you away. He doesn't want his scars and his reputation to motivate you in some hypothetical plan to sneak out of his bed and run away in the middle of the night without warning. He's too attached. He's clawing at your back, arms tightened around your torso as he kisses your neck and smells your hair while you sleep. He won't ever let go, not even planning to, not after that paranoid scenario tucked away at the back of his mind.

Your thoughts aren't word, they aren't true. He's desperately in love with you, even when he doesn't show it. You may think that his blank face tells you he's bored of you, but the feeling of his mask pressed against your cheek as he tries to kiss your skin without scaring you off with his scars should've told you everything.

He knows he's in love with you, deeply so, but it's too bad that you're convinced that you've bet on a losing dog.

#call of duty x reader #nikto x reader #cod x reader #cod nikto x reader #call of duty nikto x reader #andre nikto x reader

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midchelle · 2 months

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Maureen Starkey Tigrett and Sir Richard Starkey married on this day, 11 February 1965.

'It's like the breakup of the Beatles. At one time we used to change together, then we started changing separately in different directions. There's no, like, 'Well, she cut my throat so we have to have a divorce.' There's no one snap thing that did it. It spread out over a year till you found yourself at the end of that year saying, 'What are we doing here? This isn't a marriage anymore.' And I had a fine marriage for eight-and-a-half years. I really had a fine marriage-- which I worked for, and she worked for it too. And it just started slipping away.'

Mr Charles Doughty, a partner in Withers, had told her that getting a divorce meant she would have to go into court and tell a judge that she could not bear to live with her husband any more. Asked by counsel how she felt about saying such a thing, Mrs Starkey clasped her forehead with her hand and whispered: 'I could not have said that because it was not true.'

#I think this is my fave one of these that I’ve done #ringo starr #maureen starkey #the beatles #link 4 mo quote - https://books.google.ie/books?id=wzY1AAAAIBAJ&pg=PA38&dq=maureen+starkey&article_id=4011 #1200683&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwia4YeFpcGBAxVzUEEAHTQsBwEQ6AF6BAgLEAI #v=onepage&q=maureen%20starkey&f=false #ringo's i dont have a proper source for but i believe its real. it sounds like him etc.#ringo #mo #quotes #midposts #little starrs

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