#this is a big relate i stim so much with my legs they always end up bein sore at the end of the day

[mueritos]

On autism: I'm the same way with social events and high versus low sensory periods. For me, audio is a big issue. If there's too much going on, I found that putting an earbud in (reluctantly not both, bc my campus had a lot of traffic and it's good to be aware of surroundings), music or not, it helped process stuff less. I minimized social events between classes and inadvertently made time to decompress by going to quieter spots to study/do homework.

As for the feeling of being stared at: It's ironic, but masks really help me feel more incognito. That, and wearing a baseball cap that has my favorite pins. I also (again, inadvertently) had small stims with me at all times: a hairtie, drumming my fingers in a consistent rhythm on the sides of my legs as I walked, and a pen with a silent click (Bic Atlantic black pen, my beloved).

Also, sorry to hear that your therapist wasn't great about you bringing up autism! Might have mentioned before, but mine was skeptical and likely for good reason since she specialized with childhood development. Idk if your therapist is willing to learn or if it's even an option for you to seek one that'll understand what's up, but I wish you good luck. In the end, research and observing your own behavior with an outside viewpoint will be most of the work of figuring out what hinders/flourishes for you. I hope this helps, even a little!

oh goodness I related to a lot of what you expressed here. If audio becomes too much, it starts to twinge in my ear and it can be physically painful to stay where i am, and sometimes Ive had to cover my ears. Wearing headphones, blocking it out with stuff i want to hear has been helpful, but yea I also have a fear of not being aware of my surroundings, so I rarely have it on high. I have been letting myself be okay with leaving places to decompress and do work; Ive found that im happier now doin so! I also drum my fingers and like to rock, and im trying to let myself rock in class but there r some classes I have to be "professional" in since im a TA...so I have find other ways to stim >.< because just sitting here still for 3 hrs straight is really exhuasting. I might have to look into that pen because I love clicking pens!!! and yes, I love masks because it hides my face and i feel less stressed about people looking at me, but hats sound fun!! when its colder I wear beanies, and it always felt like a hug on my head (until it got itchy lol)

And thank you, it was honestly a weird experience with her and it made me sad tbh to realize it wasnt good. Even when I tried to bring up childhood instances and things that I felt related to my adolescence, it was just shut down. I'm still open to anything, maybe its just worse anxiety or just sensory issues, but idk. Its all weird. Im just happy that autistic people and other ND folks have been nothing but supportive and kind to me. Im not sure how to proceed with my therapist, and she has told me she could always refer me to someone who is more knowledgeable and who can diagnose if needed, but its another step toward going to someone new and somewhere new and it just freaks me out. Im definitely going to be more involved in the disability and nuerodivergence club on my campus tho since theyre the folks who comforted me after that session ;;

thank u! i wish u the best my friend :)

#muertoresponds

[libitinalucus]

Kink Talk: Lightning Round

I've not really been sure what to write on just yet since I already hit my big ones so if someone wants to ask about something on the list they're curious about well: https://www.f-list.net/c/ladylibido/

And in the meantime I'm gonna cover a few kinks that really only need a sentence to a paragraph to explain. But on the off chance there's something here someone might think is worth elaborating further on, you could always message me or use my Retrospring to ask for more.

Clit-Stim: Like with any 'sex act' I feel like I shouldn't have to explain it more than 'IT JUST FEEL GOOD'. I really, really enjoy direct clitoral stimulation. That's literally it. If anything the reason why I highlight it is because of how little it is used. Over the last 10 years there's been a huge uptick in just mere acknowledgment the clit exists, but it's still difficult to find content that focuses or even recognizes or acknowledges how strong a sensation it is, any of the content that does exist it largely swings towards masturbation or a brief flick or touch as though that's supposed to do anything. (honestly, the bad representation of clit play is something I could write a full rant about)

Faceless Things/Digitegrade Legs: This is purely aesthetic. I do not experience primary sexual attraction so I don't even find these things sexually arousing on their own, I find them aesthetically pleasing. My kinks and my aesthetics don't have to line up, it's just really nice when it does.

Non-Humans: Related to the above, it's largely aesthetic. The rest is my sociological and physiological fascination with what goes into beings of wildly different cultural backgrounds finding solace in one another. That romanticism of similarities in our differences.

Weird Genitals: Boils down to basic carnal want. If it looks like it'll feel good, I want it in me.

Restraint: I'm submissive. Waddidya expect? But also because it's to save me from myself.. also my partner. I've kinda injured him a few times and he's pretty darn proud of that, but also he doesn't like that I kinda kick him away in the process thus, preventing him from being able to continue overstimulating me lol. But I don't find shibari that interesting. I also don't like total restraint/encasement, total immobility is terrifying and sets off claustrophobia issues.

Size Difference: Another extension of being submissive due to being smaller and thus, easier to be overpowered. There is of course, also a comfort in someone bigger than you, over you. At least for me when I'm completely gone in my own head, there's still a shield in someone just being naturally bigger than me able to obscure or otherwise protect me in that time.

Improvised/Natural Restraint: When I say improvised restraint I mean anything that is used for restraint that might not have been brought for that intent. Belts, ripped clothes and jackets, any of the surrounding landscape. I find that ravenous, carnal 'just gotta pin them down with something' really provocative, and much more interesting than planned restraint. Natural restraint in so much that someone's own power or size is good enough to act as a restraint.

Protective/Possessive Partners: Look, I spend so dang much of my life protecting and doing things for others, it's nice to have someone have that same motivation towards me. (but without being controlling/restricting/over-protective) While it's also still a submissive subset, it's nice to be wanted enough for the partner to be protective, and also understanding the anxieties and fears of someone to want to protect that.

Public Risk: A protective extension. I'm not exactly into exhibitionism, I prefer intimacy, but I am into risky settings that calls on the dominate partner to protect and soothe the submissive in a setting they would otherwise be anxious about and that in the end while it gets risky or close to a negative outcome, nothing actually happens and the dominate did a good job of both protecting the submissive and belaying their fears.

Breeding: Related to having a possessive, covetous partner, and just the carnal, aggressive sex that comes with the drive of wanting or needing to impregnate their partner. Especially if pleasure focused cus the whole 'gotta make it pleasurable for the female cus it makes her more receptive to implanting', cus I want those multiple/forced orgasms. That being said, I actually have no interest in the actual pregnancy part of it, only the action.

Anonymous Sex: One of my big anxieties after someone finds out I'm submissive that they assume somehow that attribute is a detriment to my personality or that my forward facing personality is somehow 'false' and treat me accordingly. Being anonymous, having sex with people that both I don't know and who don't know me or who I am, gives me this sense of freedom that I can turn on or off my sexuality at any time, and it won't come to roost in my personal life.

Power Play: Vying for power and fight sex where it starts rough before being overwhelmed and rendered submissive by sexual stimulation. It's allegorical to my own fight with my own struggles with allowing myself to let go.

Praise: Huge, huge kink. Both tied to my inability to let go, and my need to be 'on' and Doing something All The Time. I'm selfishly enjoying something and you're still telling me I'm good? I don't have to do anything?? To deserve praise??? Just myself, as I am, is valuable???? it's like giving me permission to enjoy it, to be selfish, and that it's enough.

#kink talk

[realityrewind]

alex stims w his legs the most like he bounces his legs like those old rubberhouse toons n when he gets even more intense he just jumps up and down in place he endlessly paces in circles he's just one leggy boy thathk u for coming to my Ted talk

MICHAEL SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK !! 

#mh tag #alex kralie #this is a big relate i stim so much with my legs they always end up bein sore at the end of the day #also i hope it's okay for me to refer to u by ur first name #if not i can change it #re has answers #i wuv these stimmy boys #arklie

[zombiepirates]

starting the blog off strong with my funny little hcs/redesigns for the main 4

read more for a looooong list of hcs

okay here we go

edd:

- 5'9

- half korean half white

- 26 in the end

- bi and the token cis friend, uses he/him pronouns

- built like a muscular santa LOL, definitely physically the strongest of the main four

- has lots of moles all over

- likes to have a clean shaven face but gets lazy sometimes. he has hairy arms, legs, etc

- OBVIOUSLY listens to the beatles his cat is named ringo. also is a pink floyd, journey, rolling stones, and led zepplin enjoyer. he likes bo burnham too

- i see his personality as being like. he doesn't start chaos but boy is he happy to join in and be along for the ride.

- actually is pretty apathetic a lot of the time *points at pre legacy edd who wants nothing to do with his friends when he has to put effort into the relationship*

- gets so competitive over every. little. thing.

- has adhd , was hyperactive as a kid but now struggles to muster the energy to do anything that doesn't relate to a hyperfixation (animation and writing comics are the major ones)

- tics as a result of his adhd which pisses him off especially when he's drawing

- also stims quite a lot ☺ canonically gets flappy hands + his "broccoli!" is ABSOLUTELY a stim r u kidding

- still has leftover powers from poweredd! they aren't always there but if he feels threatened they can pop up. his eyes turn completely green when he uses powers 😮

- really quick on his feet and is always able to pull the boys out of trouble if need be (big reason why he naturally falls into a leadership position)

- only eats junk food unless someone sits him down and forces him to eat a proper meal. eats really frequently too, always has a bag of chips and cola within arms reach

- drinks and smokes 🍃 socially but never by himself. isn't a fan of anything with nicotine

- likes beer and whiskey, and takes 🍃 in pretty much any form without a preference

- his green hoodie is a comfort item so he is p much always wearing it, even in the summer. otherwise wears t shirts and cargo pants

- his lucky can is also a comfort item

- vibes really well with tom! they're both really chill and mellow when around eachother. they like to talk about movies together

- when with matt his energy level is definitely boosted. they like to go out to eat, go to the mall, and ofc go to amusement parks

- tord activates the competitive part of his personality lol. they butt heads a lot but most of the time it's in a joking way. loooove to play video games together

tom:

- 6'1

- black

- 25 in the end

- bi with a male preference, doesn't label his gender but is somewhere inbetween agender and male. uses he/it/they pronouns

- messes with his hair a lot, most of the time it is bleached more than it should be. it sometimes has shoulder length locs which he'll tie into a ponytail

- has many scars up his arms and thighs

- has tons of piercings everywhere bc he uses it as a form of sh and figures nobody will notice (tord totally does n worries but never says anything)

- muscular arms and chest bc he works out when he's mad (which is. frequently!)

- has stubble and very thick + usually untrimmed sideburns. also lots of body hair

- nails are usually painted black

- enjoys ska punk fashion

- has lots of patchwork and embroidery on his clothing. wears tons of accessories , chains, rubber bracelets, belts, fingerless gloves, yada yada

- ok im abt to rapidfire list artists i think it listens to bc. he loves music so <3

sublime, queen, david bowie, radiohead, ac/dc, abba, nirvana, oasis, deftones, korn, the smashing pumpkins, neutral milk hotel, the smiths, pavement, violent femmes, and pixies

- a lot of ppl write him as like. always serious and deadpan, never experiences joy. THIS IS INCORRECT!!!!! this is literally the guy whose running bit is "random xd"

- tom is the first to make a joke out of a shitty situation, in fact his inability to read the room causes problems sometimes. he def made jokes about tord after the end and it made edd and matt massively uncomfortable

- also sometimes makes those awkward self deprecating jokes that are not funny but. he's working on it

- relies on situational humor to be funny

- generally is quiet unless he wants to make a lil snide remark or someone speaks directly to him

- ......unless he's drunk. GOD does he love to talk when he's drunk. usually about himself, although it could either be "i'm worthless" or "i'm awesome and sexy"

- SO BAD WHEN PPL HAVE EMOTIONS... lacks empathy so if someone cries in front of him he has no clue how to react

- very possessive + protective of susan and tomee bear

- *unfolds list and puts on reading glasses* has depression, mild social anxiety (was bad in hs but is getting better), adhd, ocd, bipolar, + insomnia and obviously issues with alcohol. sorry for making him mentally ill it is simply how i see him

- his alc addiction is actually a lot better than it was pre legacy :] especially post the end he is able to occasionally drink socially without it being an issue

- of course i will talk abt monster tom omg. so their monster traits (super strength, increased height, claws, horns, tail) will appear when he feels any super intense emotion no matter what it is. it's typically painful but not always , n its very rare that it assumes full monster form without injections from tord/the red army

- his pessimistic nature comes in handy bc edd and matt don't think abt the risks or possibility of failure for a lot of things so tom is able to reel 'em back and help ground everybody

- forgets to eat all. the. time. and when he DOES eat, it's at like 3am when he grabs a plain bagel from the kitchen

- prefers vodka when drinking but will take anything. not a huge fan of hard seltzers or beer though bc they don't get him drunk enough. i think they prolly like taking edibles to calm their nerves and likes to smoke weed with tord

- probably has a juul that he gets too embarrassed to use outside of his room . not as into nicotine as tord but certainly enjoys it

- makes money as a film composer .. he loves what he does but also wishes he could be a director

- used to work part time at the local bar but uhmmmm

- tom and matt just enjoy being in eachothers company tbh. if they're sittin in the same room on their phones both of them will consider it a good time! tom also likes to play matt music

- i could write a whole essay on tom and tord's relationship but i have so many thoughts i can't even figure out my train of thought. my god

- they bond a lot over hating things LOL they'll watch stupid movies just to laugh at. tom will go on a rant about how he wishes he had the budget to make a blockbuster film and tord just listens

- tom is secretly interested in tord's inventions but would never ask about them so as not to boost his ego LOL

matt:

- 6'4

- white

- 26 in the end

- unlabeled sexuality, almost exclusively likes men. genderfluid and uses he/they + comes up with new neos for himself biweekly

- an absolute twig with very little muscle. he does have very broad shoulders however which gives the illusion he might be anything other than a string bean

- his hair is in awful condition because he treats it horribly 😵 it's naturally curly but since middle school he has straightened and put gel in it daily

- nails always look very nice, sometimes gets extravagant and colorful manicures but usually just has french tips. their nails are quite long

- has long canines and a bite mark scar on his neck

- covered head to toe in freckles

- little to no body hair, they barely have to shave bc they simply don't grow much

- big fan of maximalism in fashion and interior decor

- has his ears pierced and a little stud on his nose

- really enjoys music, listens to madonna, kesha, the millionaires, marina, britney spears, doja cat, avril lavigne, and of course

gwen stefani

- yes he is stupid but not. THAT. stupid. this dude was the leader of a zombie army .

- he's very smart when it comes to manipulating people and likes to use his charm and good looks to get what he wants

- HOWEVER . they lack some common sense. he definitely would use his phone flashlight to check a clock in the middle of the night LOL

- struggles to understand sarcasm a lot of the time

- constantly seeking validation from the boys and ESPECIALLY tom. tom isn't the most affectionate so when tom compliments him his brain explodes /pos

- he was that kid in elementary school with nut allergies n all the adults catered to him LMFAOOOO

- has cute petnames for the boys (dimples for edd, teddy bear for tom, captain for tord) also uses handsome as a name for all of them rather than an adjective lol. he calls tord sunshine when he wants to peeve him

- goes ALL OUT for holidays!!! decorating and gift giving sparks joy

- took french in high school and actually enjoyed it a lot, he's almost fluent

- likes going to parties bc he's constantly understimulated so bright lights and loud music = A GOOD TIME

- always has incense or a candle burning

- has sensory issues with a lot of food (canon example would be him not able to eat ice cream bc it hurts his teeth)

- autistic , ocd and bpd haver . i specifically think he has ocd because of his compulsive hoarding

- actually has a decent eating schedule 😱😱 he eats a lot of fruit . don't ask why i know this i simply can just see it

- enjoys drinking quite a lot actually, they're a big fan of fancy cocktails. enjoys edibles but HATES smoking and vaping, coughs a lot when he does. probably vomited his first time smoking and was traumatized ever since lol

- works at a novelty toy shop in an outlet mall 😁😁 really genuinely loves his job and is so sweet to customers .

- he is still a vampire! thankfully since modern mirrors are not backed by silver he can see his beautiful face🙏

- can't eat garlic and can't be out in the sun for very long without a parasol

- is good at comforting the boys when they're upset, not great at giving advice but they're a great listener and shoulder to cry on

- likes to watch anime with tord 👍 although they have very different taste in anime for the most part, both of them enjoy shounen

tord:

- 5'2

- white

- 26 in the end

- i know. logically.  in canon he definitely likes women (see: kim and katya) but it is simply my opinion that he's only attracted to anime girls and when interacting with irl women he's uncomfortable

- that being said he's gay and transmasc, uses he/him. he was so quiet before leaving and then when he comes back he's  suddenly super boisterous and can't shut up? there's no way he didn't start T and get top surgery in the time he was gone

- muscular from being in the army but when he takes time off to work on inventions he'll eat exclusively instant noodles and takeout so he has some pudge on his tummy, hips and thighs

- scars all over which he claims are from combat training but are just from him being careless with his weapons

- massive eye bags bc his sleeping schedule is horrid

- started bleaching and dying his hair a much lighter brown about a year before leaving , when he gets depressed or too consumed in his work his roots can grow out a decent bit though

- had lots of acne as a teen but is finally free in his 20s

- bites his nails so they look VERY ugly lmao

- sharp teeth >:)

- can get pretty tan in the summer and has freckles on his face, arms, and shoulders

- can't grow facial hair 😒😒 has hair pretty much everywhere else though

- has a few ear piercings and a tongue piercing

- pre legacy tord was emo and legacy tord / red leader is military goth

- since tord was emo in high school and he simply never decided to find to new music his playlists just have ptv, old p!atd, paramore etc...

- he likes hentai in canon so i'm going to pretend that automatically means he is an anime enjoyer! his alltime fav is code geass because r u kidding. a mecha anime abt a guy taking over the world using intellect rather than brute force .

- he also enjoys fooly cooly, death note, mobile suit gundam, promare, fma:b, evangelion, and gurren lagann

- his fav anime characters are lelouch and asuka <3

- his personality pre legacy is . MASSIVELY different  . he was kind of jst like "i'll keep my head down unless A. edd or tom tries to start shit or B. i get to talk about the military or weapons" LOL

- he always knew he was destined for something greater though and had been working on blueprints and finding materials for his giant robot since hs

- started building it a few years before he left . i like to think he didn't take it with him because he knew if he did he wouldn't have a reason to ever see edd, matt, or tom again

- already had connections to paul and pat , they kept in contact after school bc it was always the plan that they would take over the world together

- i think tord stayed in the army seen in moving targets, rose through the ranks, and slowly but surely included more and more of his own ideals into the teachings n trainings of new recruits until eventually they broke off and became the red army

- paul did basically the same thing in his branch of the army and then conjoined it with tord's, pat and yuu being in paul's branch (i hc yanov was in tord's)

- tord is very good at manipulating people into thinking they know what they want which is how he was able to keep soldiers on his side despite being a communist in the uk which is. very much capitalistic!

- even before joining the army he didn't have a job because he can't keep a regular job for life of him. instead he does the majority of the cleaning around the house

- does that silly thing where he forgets words in english so he's like "the uhmm... the thing! with the! yknow !"

- curses in norwegian

- refers to the boys by their full name (edward, matthew, thomas) if he wants to emphasize a point or really get their attention

- defaults to babe or doll as a petname. calls edd and matt his "brave soldiers" in a sweet way and for tom its in a condescending way

- forgets to shower often 😶 typically smells like cigars, gunpowder, oil + grease and sweat

- very intuitive

- a little too confident about his intellect though so when he gets humbled. the man is in Shambles

- has adhd , aspd, bipolar, c-ptsd and insomnia (these boys are all mentally ill)

- not a huge fan of drinking because he's a little Too emotionally vulnerable for his liking and gets uncomfortably hot, if he does drink he'll almost always have bourbon . enjoys smoking pot a whole lot but almost always does it by himself because he gets giggly, flirtatious, and very willing to dump out all his secrets . is very very very addicted to nicotine (strongly prefers cigars but will also use cigarettes, doesn't vape tho cuz he thinks it's uncool LMAO)

- POSSIBLY me being self indulgent with this hc but tord loooves shotgunning with his bfs more than anything  , he is so sad matt isn't into it

- is also with paul and pat but their relationship is much more casual than with edd matt and tom. tord cares more abt the success of his army and cause than kissing his handsome soldiers (unfortunately)

- tord and pat's relationship is like. tom and tord if they used their shared negative outlook on the world for a combined cause instead of a reason to fight constantly

- tord and pat struggle to talk about things other than the red army which upsets paul

- paul is kinda just here for the ride and loves pat and tord very dearly

- paul strokes tord's ego a bit more than what is probably safe lolololol

#eddsworld #ew edd #ew tom #ew matt #ew tord #eddsworld redesign #eddsworld headcanon #tord.draws #tord.lit #polyworld

[honey-sunsets]

Dream SMP Stimming HCs because it’s wiggle time (/rp)

Tommy

He toe-walks. He is a Big Man and toe-walking makes him even bigger.

He repeats words that sound Good (“Baba” for example).

He hums and sings, though this one he really only does when he’s by himself or with people he trusts (so basically Tubbo and Ranboo).

He uses chewelry quite a lot. (Inspired by cc!Tommy saying “I have such active teeth” and other things involving mud that I can’t remember.)

He runs his hands through his hair, especially when he’s stressed or flustered.

He picks at his lips and the skin around his nails.

He also bites his nails.

Leg Bounce ™

Listening to music, of course.

He loves petting and hugging animals, including ones that really should not be pet or hug. He used to run his hands through Friend’s wool often.

He canonically sews!! So depending on his mood he might dive into a six-hour sewing extravaganza or he might just mindlessly string the same pattern for a while.

Tubbo

Tubbo makes random noises or modifies his voice (usually makes it higher pitched or more guttural). He likes to screw with his friends and freak them out with this one (like when cc!Tubbo uses autotune while talking to Ranboo).

He uses stim toys quite a lot. Rubik’s cubes, fidget cubes, tangles, something to keep his hands occupied. He makes a lot of his own toys from leftover building and redstone materials, and he makes toys for his friends as well.

He adjusts his tie as a stim. He picked this up during Manberg and it carried on until the end of his presidency. After he founded Snowchester and stopped wearing a tie, he continued the motion, but now he just grabs onto the collar of his shirt or jacket.

He sings as well, often bursting into song if he hears so much as a word or two from a song he knows.

He pokes/taps the tips of his horns.

He runs his fingers across his scars, since they have a different texture from the rest of his skin.

When he’s stressed or angry, he squeezes his hands into very tight fists and he grinds his teeth.

Ranboo

Ranboo already canonically stims!! Picking up, holding, and placing grass blocks is a common one. Pacing when he’s stressed and enderman noises are also ones we’ve seen. I can’t for the life of me think of any others but I know there’s more.

Raptor hands. I rest my case.

The little “bow bow bow” noises that cc!Ranboo makes when he listens to music.

He just loves listening to music. So much. All the time.

Petting his cats and listening to/feeling them purr. Major comfort for him.

Once again similar to his cc! counterpart, he’s very good with Rubik’s cubes. He once casually solved a dodecahedron in the middle of a Butcher Army meeting.

Ranboo to me seems like the kind of guy who likes “bigger” (more noticeable) stims but is afraid to do any of them.

For the sake of keeping these headcanons as wholesome as I can manage (and believe me, I’m struggling), I’ll say that he does eventually become more comfortable with his stims and he allows himself to do things that are more noticeable (which nobody minds, of course).

Jumping stim!! This can only be done outside or well below the ceiling because good lord he goes high.

Singing, and usually very loudly.

Shouting. Just. AHHHH.

Alivebur

He prefers auditory and visual stims to other types, though there are a couple exceptions.

Watching the sunrise and sunset becomes a favorite visual stim after his revival.

Sparks and small flames are very good as well.

He loves rubbing his thumb against the edges of book pages and flipping the pages quickly (I don’t know how to describe it but it’s a common thing a lot of folks do).

He changes accents at will. If he spends too much time around you your voice will be stolen.

You know that one time Wilbur cheered “yeah daddy Dream” in the middle of lore? The way he swung his arms when he did that? Yeah, that. That’s the stim.

Moving his fingers as though strumming an instrument, humming, singing, tapping, swaying to music, even moving his hands around like a conductor. Tons and tons of music-related stims.

Ghostbur

He likes physical stims much more than Alivebur does.

Raptor hands. Raptor hands my beloved.

Oversized sleeves with raptor hands.

Flappy hands with oversized sleeves with raptor hands.

Popcat stim. He seems like a popcat kind of dude.

Petting and hugging Friend.

Assuming blue is a liquid or powder, he likes rubbing blue between his hands and fingers. If you headcanon blue as being more like a putty, you could say he plays with it as such.

Wilbur’s love of music carries over through all of his iterations, so all the previously mentioned musical stims apply to Ghostbur as well.

Phil

Popcat!! Pop pop pop.

“My name is nugget, I’m a big fat chicken.”

Flapping and fluffing up his wings.

Petting the crows and giving them little head scritches.

Those “boosh boosh boosh” and “bap bap bap” sounds cc!Phil makes when he’s building.

Jack

He changes accents, though it’s often involuntarily. I like to imagine he’s in the middle of some really angsty argument but halfway through his voice gets stuck in a Scottish accent and he can’t fix it.

“What did she say?!” “What the dog doing?” “I don’t wanna slow dance, in the DARK—” “Boy what the hell boy.” …and other memes as vocal stims.

He also sings a bit, though not as often as others.

Niki

I guess it doesn’t necessarily count as a stim, but she totally stress bakes. And happy bakes too.

If she’s not actively baking, she likes watching baking compilations. Cake and cupcake and cookie decorating videos.

Other visual stims too! Calligraphy, soap cutting, and fuzzy animals are some of her favorites.

She isn’t able to, but she really wants to pet Steve. He looks very soft.

She’s gotten permission from Technoblade to enter his Hound Army’s kennel whenever she pleases and pet all of the dogs. They all love her very much and whine when she leaves.

Eret

They sketch random buildings and maps, or doodle on the margins of their proper designs.

Ferret chat!! Elongated fluffy things!! Soft bois!! Pet the soft bois!!

She listens to music all the time. Multiple “he can’t hear us he has AirPods in” jokes are made at her expense (which she always finds funny).

Ponk

Taste and smell stims! Lemon scented/flavored things are her favorite, but she also likes orange, peppermint, and cinnamon as well.

Weighted blankets his beloved.

“Nobody wanna see us together, but it don’t matter no, cuz I got you”

They love baking! They “taste test” and “check for poison” so much they have to make slightly larger recipes to compensate.

#dsmp headcanons #dsmp #c!tommy #c!tubbo #c!ranboo #c!wilbur #ghostbur #i miss ghostbur #c!phil #c!jack manifold #c!niki #c!eret #c!ponk #neurodivergent dsmp #dsmp stimming #tw food mention #possibly autistic #this is a random collection of the first characters that came to mind (mostly my favorites) #so that’s why so many are left out (including canonically nd characters) #tree posts

[tenthgrove]

hi! could i request some platonic la squadra with a team member who's autistic and mainly stims by repeating short phrases (echolalia but idk how to phrase it) and has/had a hard time unmasking around them? feel free to take as many liberties as you need to, your writing is so fun to read! <33

La Squadra Says Autism Rights

La Squadra x Reader (GN), Platonic, SFW

(A/N: I just wanted to say a particular thank you to this requester because I've been itching to write autistic reader headcanons for months and this finally gave me the right prompt to do it. I definitely want to write more in the future.)

Formaggio- He might be neurotypical, but autism runs in his family (and his social circle as an adult) so he's learned a fair bit how best to interact with you people. He knows his loudness and teasing can be an issue for autistic people with sensory issues or trouble with sarcasm, so he'll drop it around you if that's the case. As far as he's concerned your vocal stim is a non-issue because 'some people just do that, it doesn't hurt anyone' and he doesn't comment on it unless you're using it to show happiness, in which case he always acts chuffed. He behaves sympathetically to your troubles with masking, and makes a point of acting laid-back so it's easy for you to turn down the pressure on yourself. To Formaggio, not being able to be yourself would be one of the worst fates imaginable, so he wants to do what he can to make it easier for you to let loose.

Illuso- You might expect Illuso's understanding to be low, but at this point with so much of the team being neurodivergent themselves Illuso doesn't bat an eyelid. Repeating short phrases is certainly a new one, but nothing he can't put up with. Sometimes, he might ask you what your murmurings mean, but he doesn't mean it in a judgy way. Now, as for your masking, you would be surprised how much he can relate. Illuso's self esteem is secretly down the gutter, and he often feels like the confident persona he puts on is secretly an act. When you tell him you feel like you're putting a show every day of your life, he feels you. The two of you have a lot of heartfelt conversations when you're alone, confessing how you really feel about yourselves away from the act you're performing. It's not something Illuso does often, be this honest even with a friend. But he can't help but find that it's... therapeutic.

Prosciutto- Like with anything a friend of his may be insecure about, Prosciutto very much looks at autism through the lens of identifying positives. This by no means says that he ignores your difficulties or tries to creative positives that aren't there, only that he takes note of your strengths no matter how much you try to deny them and makes sure you remember you have them. He doesn't try to 'fix' your echolalia because he knows it's better to work with an autistic person's traits than erase them, but he does teach you mental diversion techniques to help you tone the stim down when you need to (e.g. when you're trying to be stealthy). Regarding your masking, he can somewhat admire it as a useful skill to have- it's possible you could turn it into the skills of an excellent actor while under cover, but he also appreciates the impact this must be having on your self-esteem to have to hide yourself 24/7, so he wants to help you learn to cut it down. This, of course, is done through plenty of praise and reminding of your strengths. You are a wonderful addition to the team, even without your mask, and he won't let you think any less.

Pesci- When Pesci gets stressed it affects him a lot too. Sometimes he does things like fiddle with random items in his hands until they break or bounce his leg so hard the table shakes, which always get him strange looks. He appreciates the rationale of your stimming and would never judge you for it. If you're in a situation where you absolutely need to stop stimming, for instance if a team is visiting who isn't on good terms with La Squadra, he is a good bet for subtly and respectfully helping you be aware of when you're starting to do it so you can quickly stop. Just a gentle nudge to your arm when you start to whisper is all it takes. He also has a lot of empathy for the fact you has to mask, since he imagines it to be like a more extreme version of how he had to invent this whole 'tough guy' personality after he got involved in the gang. He found that really hard too, so he can imagine what it must be life to do that sort of thing your whole life. At least with him, you feel less of a pressure to put on an act.

Melone- There's a certain intellectual curiosity in Melone towards the various neurodivergent conditions, compounded by a strong personal empathy now he has so many friends who have them. He is saddened by the failure of the common consensus to understand such individuals, and wants to do what he can to help them appreciate their full, unique potentials. Melone is quick to recognise your behaviour as stimming, and hence understands that the stress of being called out on it would only make it worse. He is sympathetic to your plight with masking, and has a few ideas you could try if you want to start reducing it in safe circumstances. He has heard that one barrier to unmasking can be trouble identifying the 'true self' you have to go back to, so to remedy this he asks non-critical questions that help you explore your real, unmasked personality and be comfortable in it. Whenever you go off-script and talk to him as your true-self, he praises you for it and assures you that you are just as wonderful a person to him like this.

Ghiaccio- We arrive at the first member on the list who (in my headcanon) is autistic himself. Although the mangling of verbal speech is typically annoying to him, Ghiaccio would never become angry at someone who did it because of their neurodivergence. After all, if he didn't respect the effects of your autism, what reason do you have to return the favour? Ghiaccio makes a point of not hurrying you along when you start to repeat yourself as a stimming technique, and it goes a long way with helping you be calm around him. The masking however, is a different matter. He's not going to be angry at you per say, since he knows from experience the pressure you must be facing to put on an act this way, but he very much prefers it when people are their authentic selves around him. After all, he has enough issues knowing their true intentions as it is. He won't get angry, but he will gently encourage you to open up about him, even if it's something as little as stating what you really want point-blank when you're nervous too. He is very understanding about how hard this is, however.

Risotto- Another autistic individual himself, Risotto is also perfectly empathetic to your behaviour. As an adult, he doesn't really stim, rather just faze out entirely, but at the end of the day that still gets him a lot of strange looks so he can appreciate the range of feelings you may have about your own stim. What's really great about Risotto is that he learns pretty quickly how to differentiate between your happy-stims and your stress-stims, to an extent nobody else on the team is able to. He always seems very content to see you happy-stim, warmed by the knowledge that you are feeling good right now. As for your stress-stims, he is quick to help you escape from the situation if at all possible, and hold your hand comfortingly if not. And the whole masking thing? He understands painfully well. Risotto's masking game on-point, but it irks him greatly to keep it up, not to mention that he hates the paralysing anxiety that hits him whenever he tries to unmask. Even when he wants to, he can't always be himself in front of the team. He may not have a solution for you, but he at least has his full empathy.

Sorbet and Gelato- While Sorbet is, as far as he's aware, neurotypical, Gelato is very much autistic as well. He's also got ADHD to boot, so he's well versed in the neurodivergent experience. His stim is quite similar to yours, in that he makes quiet, high-pitched, almost chirp-like noises, so he sees your echolalia as something he has in common with you. Gelato doesn't really bother with masking any more, the only exception being people who could quite literally kill him if he offended them. Though he encourages you to let go and be yourself, consequences be damned, he of course completely understands the pressure to keep masking. Sorbet, despite being neurotypical, is at this point more surrounded by autistics than not. He's been married to Gelato for the best part of the decade, his closest friend is Risotto, and he's practically Ghiaccio's dad at this point. Adding one more neurodivergent to the mix is hardly a big step, and he is very well-versed in your behaviours and how to interact with them.

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra x reader #formaggio #formaggio x reader #illuso #illuso x reader #prosciutto #prosciutto x reader #pesci #pesci x reader #melone #melone x reader #ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #sorbet and gelato #sorbet and gelato x reader

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Autistic Hiccup x ADHD Anna Headcanons

SO I’ve been really into the whole Autistic x ADHD ship dynamic and Hiccanna...highkey fits??? Like y’all know I will die on my “Anna has ADHD” hill, but after reading this post by @hobie-brown I’m like wait, the autistic Hiccup headcanon is wonderful too??? And blends SO WELL with ADHD Anna??? And I absolutely HAD to explore it more so BOOM headcanon time! Another special thanks to @hobie-brown for writing the super lovely autistic Hiccup headcanon masterpost that inspired me to do this!

Disclaimer: I myself am not on the spectrum (part of the reason I’ve always felt a little weird about definitively HCing characters as autistic unless I see actual autistic people HC them that way too), so most of the stuff here is stuff I know secondhand from my autistic friends! I do have ADHD, so I can always promise that ADHD Anna will be 100% authentic XD

~Anna absolutely gets into Hiccup’s special interests to try and impress him. The most obvious one being, of course, dragons, but also dinosaurs (extinct dragons), lizards (tiny dragons), and Dungeons and Dragons (An RPG game that does, in fact, include dragons). Hiccup absolutely had that dragonology book as a kid and got obsessed with it beyond all reasonability. Hilariously, Anna’s wooing strategy of indulging his special interests works like a charm--mainly because a) he’s pretty flattered that someone takes THAT much of an interest in what he likes and b) half the time, ANNA finds that she genuinely gets into whatever said special interest is and finds them easy to hyperfixate on. It helps that the more she obsesses over it herself, the more she has to talk to Hiccup about XD

~Specifically, Anna definitely joins a DnD campaign at some point so that Hiccup will think she’s a “cool gamer girl”--and then gets unironically obsessed with it and starts writing 10-page backstories for all of her characters. She later tells Hiccup it started out as a ruse to win his heart via nerdiness, and he absolutely loses his shit laughing.

~One of their overlapping special interests/hyperfixations is high fantasy. Hiccup is, unsurprisingly, all about the mythical creatures while Anna is more into the magic and the zesty political drama, but you dun best believe they catch every CGI-ridden fantasy movie that ever comes out. They’ve both spent a literal fortune on fantasy movie tickets, even moreso on watching them in 3D or Imax. How embarrassing for both of them.

~Another less-obvious overlapping interest is history. Hiccup gets into it while looking into the cultural mythos of dragons (he’s pretty fascinated by the fact that so many cultures around the world thought up similar creatures independently), while Anna gets into it because she grew up cooped up bored and lonely in a big house, and entertained herself by looking into the history behind some of the family paintings. They don’t seem it at first, but they’re actually both huge medieval and ancient civilization history buffs.

~Hiccup is THE most touch-repulsed person you will ever meet. This is unfortunate, as he is also SUPER touch-starved and absolutely does not realize it (I mean, I’ve never gotten the vibe Stoic was the super huggy type, considering his and Hicc’s relationship in HTTYD 1). This means he has absolutely no fucking clue what to make of Anna when they first meet meet. Anna’s the sort of person to give physical affection pretty freely, especially if she likes you--usually in the form of hugs, arm pats or playful swats, putting her elbow on your shoulder, etc etc. Hiccup is kinda just like “this is way too much touching but like??? I kinda like having her this close to me??? What do???”

~Anna, meanwhile, notices that Hiccup kinda stiffens up whenever she touches him and seems to not be crazy about it and she’s just immediately like “yo what’s wrong???” And as SOON as he admits he’s not all that crazy about being touched randomly she’s like “OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY” and never touches him without asking again.

~As soon as she finds out touch a kind of A Whole Thing for him, Anna is like...AGGRESSIVELY respectful of Hiccup’s boundaries when it comes to physical affection. Almost annoyingly so. She gets in the habit of basically never initiating any kind of physical touch without asking first--even long after they’ve started dating, and he’s told her it’s okay to initiate touching as long as she’s not smothery about it. She still refuses out of principle.

~They come up with a kind of “consent language” so Anna can pretty quickly determine when it’s all right to touch Hiccup--because Anna still really likes being physically affectionate with him, and he does actually like receiving physical affection a lot of the time (because, again, touch-starved), he’s just choosy about who does it. They work out a system based off of small, light touches that Hiccup doesn’t mind where it’s basically 2 taps on his shoulder for “can I hug you around the neck,” 2 taps on his side for “can I hug you around the waist,” 2 taps on his arm for “can I grab/lightly slap/punch your arm,” and 1 tap on is shoulder for “can I put my arm/elbow on your shoulder.” If he’s cool with it he’ll either nod or just say “yeah go ahead.” It works a lot quicker than asking “can I do such-and-such specific touch” every single time, and allows Anna to keep some of her spontaneity. They develop this during their friendship and it ends up rolling over into their relationship, even after Hiccup has basically told her she doesn’t need to ask permission for a lot of these anymore. She adds a new one after they start dating--she taps him a couple times wherever she wants to kiss him to ask if it’s cool to give him a smooch! It usually is.

~INFODUMPING. Literally SO. MUCH. INFODUMPING. Hiccup absolutely WILL NOT SHUT UP when he gets to talking about one of his special interests. Anna just will not shut up in general, but when the topic changes to one of her hyperfixations, it’s even worse. If you try to have a conversation with these two while they’re infodumping, you WILL get talked over. Honestly, left to their own devices, they could probably infodump to each other for literal days on end.

~Despite how much they both like to infodump, they’re both pretty good about being patient and indulging the other when it’s their partner’s turn to infodump in the conversation XD They are, however, notorious about accidentally triggering a barely-related infodump in the other person. It’s not uncommon for one of them to finish a rant and then the other goes “OH THAT REMINDS ME” and sets off on a completely different, barely-related rant.

~Hiccup actually really appreciates how overexpressive--and occasionally overdramatic--Anna tends to be. He never has to try and figure out what she’s thinking because she just says everything in her brain, and her body language basically always matches how she’s feeling to a ridiculous extent, so he never has to give himself a headache trying to read her. The fact that she’s the opposite of subtle and has no filter whatsoever works great for him, because he doesn’t have to drive himself insane trying to understand her. He gets her better than he gets most people because she’s an open goddamn book. The boy’s never been the best with social cues at all, never mind the nuanced, obscure ones, so Anna’s general straightforwardness and utter inability to hide her true feelings at literally any time is a breath of fresh air. What you see is basically what you get, and Hiccup wouldn’t have it any other way.

~People think when Anna and Hiccup start dating it’s gonna be a disaster, mainly because he’s so blunt and she can be...”oversensitive” (i.e. has a REALLY bad case of RSD). Turns out they’re dead wrong--because Hiccup has RSD too! (I mean, come ON--look how BADLY he wants to get his village’s approval! And how hard he takes it when his dad or someone else is mad at him--even if he tries to hide it with snark) He’s actually one of the few people who can be blunt enough with Anna that she realizes when she’s being a dumbass but tactful enough not to hurt her feelings or set off her RSD--because god, has he been there. When Anna is being especially difficult and has worked herself into a real bad funk, Hiccup (and sometimes Elsa) is the only people who can talk to her and get through to her without getting blown up at.

~They stim in similar ways!!! They both tend to fidget or kinda bounce up in down in place as a way to comfort themselves and calm themselves down (I see them both having a lot of anxiety and generally being kind of paranoid, although Anna is MUCH better at hiding this via putting on a cheerful face). They both do the leg bounce!!! Also if they get SUPER excited they’ll do a little awkward happy dance!!! They both also tend to stim by rubbing things in small, repetitive motions--with Hiccup, it’s usually his sketching pens, his ear, his head, or the back of his neck, while with Anna, it’s usually her other hand, her arm, her clothes, or really anything with kind of a comforting, consistent texture (some favorites are rubber, felt, and velvet). After they start dating, they actually will stim with each other’s hands while holding hands--usually by squeezing the other person’s hand in kind of a repetitive pattern or doing the thumb-rub thing on the back of the other person’s hand. It’s not uncommon for them to each be doing something completely unrelated while holding hands and just stimming on each other’s hands the entire time. Anna especially really loves when she feels Hiccup stimming on her, because it’s her little indicator that he’s happy and feels at peace and content in her presence and she LOVES being able to do that for him!

~They both stim by playing with hair too! Anna likes to play with her own to stim--mainly by figeting with the end of her braids or tucking hair behind her ear. She DOES love to ruffle Hiccup’s hair too (and she LOVES how fluffy it is!), but it’s usually not a stim thing. After they start dating, Anna does occasionally stim by massaging Hiccup’s hair/scalp, but she doesn’t usually do it for very long. Hiccup really loves braiding Anna’s hair, or just playing with it when it’s down. it helps him relax and clear his mind to have something fairly repetitive and/or mindless to do.

~Even after gaining some confidence, Hiccup still has a fair bit of social anxiety, so he and Anna basically always go to parties and social events together and stick with each other the whole time to make it less intimidating for him. Hiccup generally prefers to let Anna do the talking when they chat with people, and sometimes if he’s REALLY nervous he’ll sometimes even let her kinda talk for him (not in a condescending “speaking over” kinda way, but more in like a “I can sense you’re not comfortable speaking here so I’ll help you out as best I can” kinda way). She always makes sure to leave space in the conversation for him to take over talking if he wants. She’s also incredibly prone to bragging about his accomplishments to basically everyone they know. Hiccup is both embarrassed and flattered by this.

~When Anna finds out about meltdowns (probably through Hiccup mentioning it kind of offhandedly--“Eh, sorry I went AWOL last night, I was having a bit of a meltdown. Don’t worry about it, I’m fine now.”) she lowkey gets super anxious and frustrated because she REALLY wants to help, but has no idea how. Cue literal HOURS of research on the internet and AGGRESSIVE memorizing of any and all tips that she reads that she thinks would help. Which, of course, means several MORE hours spent going over flashcards like she’s studying for a goddamn test, because Anna has never been known for her sharp, expansive memory.

~The first time Hiccup ever has a meltdown in front of her (maybe after a really bad phone fight with his dad or something? Just general sensory overload?), she takes him to a secluded room and IMMEDIATELY gets rid of anything that could be agitating sensory-wise. She dims the lights! She closes the blinds! She throws a nearby clock, an alarm, a timer, and several other objects with only the slightest potential of making an annoying noise out of a nearby window in a fit of passion! She goes on a frenzied quest to find Hiccup’s noise-cancelling headphones--and finishes it in record time! Even in a state of emotional turmoil, Hiccup realizes that Anna’s being just a little too methodical in how she goes about all this--these are the kind of things that wouldn’t ever occur naturally to her to do. So as soon as he calms down a bit and has screamed into a pillow for a while, he’s like “...did you go on the internet to look up how to help with meltdowns?” and Anna’s like “...yes?” And Hiccup is lowkey so touched he starts crying all over again...and then, naturally, makes a long string of snarky comments to try and distract from it XD

~For their anniversary Anna saves up a bunch and buys Hiccup a lizard and a terrarium!!! She gets him a crocodile skink because, I quote, “Well, they always look annoyed, they’re kinda shy, they don’t like to be touched, and they look like tiny dragons, so they reminded me of you!!!” Hiccup screams like a goddamn fangirl, he’s SO excited. As luck would have it, Hiccup’s crocodile skink is a lot less skittish and prone to hiding than they usually are, and he actually lets Hiccup pick him up and pet him without much issue. Which is honestly great, because repeatedly touching something smooth and even like lizard scales helps calm Hiccup down when he’s agitated and helps with some of his sensory issues.

~Probably goes without saying, but Hiccup basically NEVER genuinely gives Anna a hard time about her memory problems or how she’s not always the quickest on the uptake, and if anyone tries to call her annoying, dumb, or immature he will absolutely roast them into oblivion. He does sometimes like...lightly tease her about jumping into things without thinking or never shutting up, but he never pushes it if he can tell she’s genuinely bothered by it (and, again, Anna is very easy to read, so it’s not hard to tell XD)

~I’ve seen other people in the fandom HC either Hiccup, Anna, or both of them as BOTH autistic and ADHD, and honestly...fuck yes!!! I’m down for this too! I love the idea of these two disaster ND kids just vibing with each other on so many damn levels that it’s like...incomprehensible to the average human XD Like man, they fuckin GET each other!!! I’m pretty happy with most combinations of ADHD + Autistic headcanons for Anna and Hiccup, so long as they end up vibing!!!

~THEY JUST. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. SO MUCH. THEY LITERALLY WOULD DIE FOR EACH OTHER. I AM SURE OF IT. I’M CRYING. 

#hiccanna #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #hiccup #anna #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #autistic hiccup #adhd anna #headcanons #hcs #httyd #frozen #crossover #rotbtd #rotbtfd #hiccup haddock #princess anna

[spectrumed]

4. body

Do I have body issues? Well... yeah. Who doesn’t? I absolutely do not like being fat, that’s something I’d change about me. And I probably should bulk up a little, go to the gym. My diet isn’t terrible, I don’t eat any fast food, but I could still always eat healthier. More greens, less beans. But most of all, my biggest body issue is that I don’t really associate myself with my body. My mind feels disconnected from my body. The day scientists invent a way for us all to live as brains in jars on wheels, I’m there standing in line for a chance to become all cerebral. Being physical, it’s just so messy, so awkward, so uncomfortable. You feel pain, you feel embarrassment, you feel horny. Nothing good comes from having a body. If you were just a brain, you could go on thinking and calculating and just generally having a good mental time. Or you’d start feeling suffocated and trapped trying to move your limbs and realising that they have been all chopped off. Hmm… Maybe it’s more complicated than I initially thought.

I don’t understand people who enjoy physical activities. Let it be clear before we delve into this long rant of mine complaining about all things gymnastic, this is not particularly an autistic trait. In fact, there are plenty of autistic people who may excel as athletes, their drive and obsessive personality traits becoming quite useful in developing that discipline that is required to fully commit to becoming an all-star jock. Not all autistic people are reprehensible nerds. Some autistic people are actually quite sexy. Some even have abs. But that’s not me. That’s not my clan of autistic people. I like drawing maps. I like thinking about things. I like making cocktails. The only part of my physical body that I like to put strain on is my liver. Don’t make me go on a run. There isn’t an armchair in this world that I wouldn’t want to sit down in, even the ones that used to be owned by old chain-smokers that have that awful aroma that sneaks into your nostrils and makes you worry about second-hand lung cancer. Sitting is great. I like sitting. Also lying down. Lying down is good.

Am I lazy? No, I don’t think so. Maybe a little, but here’s the thing. I can’t control the things I obsess over. There’s a great deal of overlap between autism spectrum disorder and attention deficit disorder. If you’re reading this and you’re a fellow friend on the spectrum, you may have gotten diagnosed with both. One of those rare times in my life I have attended group therapy, more than half the group were diagnosed with both. I, however, am not. But seeing as the two conditions are so intertwined, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a facet of autism involves difficulties in trying to focus on something, or even trying not to focus on something too hard. If you were to judge my tenacity, my ability to keep going, based solely on how I perform during physical tasks, you’d think I was the least resolute person on the planet. But then you’ll find me, some time later, staying up until four in the morning drawing another map. A map that’s really just a different take on another map that I drew earlier, that itself was a reworked version of a previous map that I drew but didn’t like, that actually began as a second iteration of one map I drew that was actually wholly different, that was based on a map of Europe but if Denmark never existed. How many maps have you drawn Fred? Why don’t you go mind your own business, you nosy ferret.

The DSM-5 (the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. You can think of it as something akin to a bible of psychology, which is definitely an inflammatory way to refer to it, but I’m gonna go with it! Because I’m a wildcard, and that’s just how I roll,) includes this section as part of its diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder.

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Now, I personally don’t relate to that at all. There’s nothing abnormal in my intense love for maps. The fact that maps aren’t as widely cherished as they ought to be is a fault of others, and I refuse to acknowledge that this may be a part of my character that could be perceived as quirky, or out of the ordinary. But, still, for the sake of argument, let’s presume that I can get, at times, excessively circumscribed. I’d like to say that I’ve only ever engaged in excessive circumscribing in my privacy away from onlookers, but I am afraid that I may have allowed some of my excessive circumscribing to happen in public. I definitely do apologise for that. I will try to do better in the future. But you never know when you’re about to experience some excessive circumscribing. The best you can do is keep it limited.

I don’t know how neurotypicals work. So, you don’t feel these kinds of obsessions? These moments of intense focus? These fixations? Then, you lack passion? Are you heartless? Soulless? Or are you just weak? Are you too feeble to hold steadfast working on a project all night long? To lose touch with your sense of hunger, your need for sleep, and all contact with any other human person? My fixations may come across as strange, but to me, your lack of fixations come across as bizarre. The world is endlessly fascinating. Have you never felt that compulsion to just fully immerse yourself in a topic that allows you to forget about your physical body for just that moment in time? The body cannot hold me. I wish to absorb as much information as I can. If I could astral project, by gods, I would astral project. To decouple your consciousness from your mushy brain for just that little bit, to go soaring across the landscapes, to explore the cosmos, just free of all things corporeal, that would be swell. How terrible isn’t it, when you’re deep in research, learning all about the mystical religious practices of the long-dead hierophants of the ancient world, to be drawn back into the present by the sudden need to urinate? There is something so dreadfully mundane about possessing a human body. If only we could all be celestial beings allowed to just be without the biological needs associated with having flesh and blood and bone and bladders.

I am not religious, nor am I spiritual. I do not believe that there is an immaterial world that lies above the material. I do not believe there is an astral plane. I think that one of the terrifying things about living is knowing that we do not possess such a thing as an eternal soul, that all things are temporal, and that ultimately, we have to come to terms with that. It’s not so terrible. In some ways, the temporal nature of life can be its biggest blessing. All things must pass. Sure, that does include the good times, like that vacation you spent as a child wishing that it would never end. But it also includes the bad times. The heartbreak you feel from a failed relationship. The grief you feel after the passing of a parent. The depression some of us are burdened with. Some days are worse than others. But they too will pass. One of the remarkable things about the human body is its ability to bounce back from injury. To change and evolve in ways we sometimes find unthinkable. The brain, likewise, is transformational, capable of incredible developments. We’re not fixed in stone. We’re not eternal. Which is a good thing. It is what allows recuperation and progress. I should be thankful to my body for being there, even when I’m not. After all, isn’t your body your temple?

I am able-bodied. Am I disabled? There’s naturally a lot of questions that surround how we ought to understand mental illness or neurodiversity in regards to disability. Does autism spectrum disorder count as a disability? Well, yes, it can be considered a learning disability. It is certainly something of a handicap, you are experiencing struggles that most people don’t experience. But to your average layperson, your typical dullard who spends their time watching reality TV, drinking beer, and being happy, what counts as a disability to them? Would they see me and think I was disabled? I’m not in a wheelchair. I don’t walk with a cane. Though I will occasionally “stim,” make small repetitive moments with my hands or legs, I do not exhibit any kind of physical symptoms. If I told them that I was disabled, they’d scoff and tell me that I’m just making it up for attention. They’d say I’m probably just trying to mooch off the government, scoring welfare checks while doing nothing to contribute to society. I’ve got all my limbs. I am not sickly. I am actually quite strong, due to being a big and tall man, I am able to carry quite the load. So, I have no reason to not be a fully productive member of society, right? And yet, here I am, feeling at most times utterly perplexed by anything physical. Probably because I am just lazy, right?

I don’t think laziness is a thing. What is laziness supposed to actually be? Tiredness? If a person is perpetually tired, then they’ve likely got a sleep disorder. To call them lazy would be callous. There are plenty of overworked people that get called lazy, especially by tyrannical overseers who think of their charges as mere workhorses whose only purpose in life is to toil away in the factory until the day they die. Intolerable parents who see their terminally sullen child and instead of wondering what is making them so upset decide to deride them for their lack of ambition. Are you lazy when you are procrastinating? No you are just being a tad irresponsible, maybe, deciding to skip out on chores in order to play video games or masturbate. But you’re not just doing nothing. People generally don’t enjoy doing nothing. We need something to occupy ourselves, to fill that vacuum we all feel whenever we’re just sitting still. I am someone who appears to be comfortable just sitting still, but that’s because I’ve learned, since a very young age, to entertain myself with my own thoughts. To fantasise, to daydream, to do anything I can to escape from the void that is doing absolutely nothing. Boredom, that’s terrible. Boredom is existential dread. Of all the motivations that drive humans, love, spite, jealousy, or pride, I think the need to evade boredom is one of the most prevalent. Humans would rather experience electric shocks than sit alone in a room being bored.

I am not lazy, I am merely… excessively circumscribed. For as much as this may be a specific diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder, I think it is also a common trait amongst all humans. There will always be within us a pull to do something other than the thing that we’re really supposed to be doing, that does not make us lazy, that just makes us terrified of boredom. Sure, you know that you’re supposed to mow the lawn, but that's just so dreadfully tedious, you just would rather be working on perfecting your new stand-up comedy routine. Thinking up jokes to tell on stage is so much more stimulating than cutting grass. And who cares if your lawn grows a little wild? Lawns are a scam, imposed by fascists to make us think grass in its natural state is ugly. All grass is beautiful, whether it is cut short or it is allowed to grow long. Do the thing that fulfils you. Allow yourself to become immersed in passion, to forget about those things that hold you back, the little silly things we’ve convinced ourselves is important. Stay up late, if you wish. You’re gonna kill it on open mic night, bud!

Yes, it is a problem when your obsessions grow so singular that you forget to feed yourself. When you forget personal hygiene, when you become trapped in your own apartment looking like some feral rodent caught in a cage. Like always, the key is moderation, and I know that from time to time, you may have to entertain a boring task or two. Clean your room, brush your teeth, trim your pubic hair, try to give an impression that you are taking care of yourself. If for anyone, do it for your mother. She will be happy seeing you looking like a civilised individual, wearing clean clothes and not looking malnourished. But don’t ever chastise yourself for being lazy. Laziness is a sin that we’re all guilty of, and if we’re all guilty of it, is it really a sin? Or is it just part of what it means to be a human? To be a messy creature made out of flesh and blood and bone and the occasional bladder. In the end, I’m more happy than displeased at having a body. It’d be much harder to type on a keyboard if I didn’t have fingers.

Still, I wish I wasn’t fat.

#neurodiversity #neurodivergent #autism spectrum disorder #autism #aspergers #mental health

[spookymultimedia]

ITS MY BLOG AND I GET TO INFODUMP ABOUT MY CHARACTERS >:D

Disability and gender experience

CW for ptsd, panic attacks, su*c*de [I will talk about at the end if you still want to read this and will add another warning] , gender dysphoria, mild transpobia and abelism both internal and external

Disability

Lyla has osteoarthritis that is due to Burns' pretty fucky genes. She found this out when one evening they literally couldn't get out of bed for anything due to intense pain in the knees. Waylon had to come and get them and when he got there Lyla was pretty much on the brink of tears. Lyla then got a diagnosis. At first she was frustrated because it changed everything about his daily life. He was prescribed pain medication that dulls the pain to a manageable degree and was recommended to use a cane to get around during mild flare ups. It initially upset her. He thought she was too young to be going through something like that and hated having to limit how much they work. They later realized that stigma was ableist and bullshit and eventually sucked it up and decided to just embrace his new way of life and let her Grandfather help him learn how to cope due to experience with chronic pain [which means its lifelong] . On some days they get around just fine with pain meds but on bad flare up days they have to use a cane or chair to get around. She eventually mastered working with the aids and can even pop a sick wheelie on his chair. The pain still gets to them and it really sucks but he does swallow his pride and allow themselves to rest and be supported by others.

Sometimes with her partner Ashley he'll get snuggled and taken care of by her. Lyla is pretty dang light like his grandfather and Ashley has no problem carrying him around. Lyla secretly loves being carried. He's pretty fucking privileged to have Mr.Burns allow her disability support. Lyla is very privileged. Sometimes they like to make his cane/chair look cool with spray paint and whatnot. Very cripplepunk. Lyla probably found a disabled community of people his age to help her feel less alone.

Abbey has undiagnosed innatentive type adhd and ptsd that she gets full on panic attacks from. Neurodiversity was something taboo and not talked about in her childhood and didn't even realize she was struggling more than she should be. As a child she struggled paying attention to long boring sermons/lectures and was shamed alot for it. She didn't understand how she occasionally made people uncomfortable with very weird and unconventional topics she talks about. Loud sudden stimuli and intense buzzing overwhelms her and can make her cry. She didn't do very well in school and barely graduated high school. She prefered watching her favorite movies and playing dolls with her sister over studying. She's extremely sensitive to fabric and only has certain types of blankets and clothes that she can stand. She absolutely hates the feeling of fabric draping against her legs too much so sometimes she either wears tight-ish pants and avoids skirts/dresses. She hates sitting and walking in dresses. She never wanted to wear them lol they feel bad to her. She refuses to sit up straight and will cross her legs. Abbey hyperfixates on animation, cinema, and dollhouses. She likes binging movies and making doll projects. She tends to bond with people through movies and model making. She struggled to make friends outside of her circle and just stayed friends with people she grew up with at her church. They all escaped that mormon hell. Abbey struggles with her emotions and usually gets overwhelmed too much which can often leave her drained and tired. She has an intense oral fixation and uses stim necklaces to chew on, before she would chew on her sleeves, pen caps, pens, her hair, her shirt, her sleeves, bottle caps, ect. She was a very curious kid and tried to eat playdough, dirt and grass lol. None of them where good. She is decent at working at the video store and feels happy with her job being related to her interests. Because hrt therapy is so expensive she doesn't feel she can afford any kind of therapy or medication and it's very overwhelming for her to have to prioritize one aspect of her health over another. But with financial support from close friends and her boyfriend Tim she gets by ok.

Gender

Lyla assumed that it was completely normal to have a fuzzy fluid gender due to believing gender is a lose concept for most people. He didn't realize most people have static genders that don't change at all. It wasn't something they never questioned. Later in Lyla's 20s they started to learn more on gender and realized she wasn't as cis as he thought they where. The term genderfluid fit his experiences perfectly. They never felt still in their gender. Even if they felt more towards one gender over another it wasn't a firm feeling. It felt fluid and lose. As a teen they dressed in goth fashion and was a self proclaimed tomboy. But they realized tomboys or most gnc women didn't dress up very feminine on somedays or even wear dresses. She loves wearing dresses and she loves wearing lose jeans and a lose men's tee.

Lyla's gender tends to shift weekly but it may present or change depending on who they're with or what media/environment they're exposed too. For example he might feel more feminine with certain friends and more masculine with strangers. Sometimes they feel more comfortable being agender or a nonbinary genders with certain people such as their partner. Sometimes they only use certain pronouns with certain people. He/she/they at work, she/he with parents, she/he/they/it with siblings, she/he with some friends, and she/he/moths/rots, rats, its with their partner. Lyla will either tell people upfront on pronouns for the week or use a pin.

Most of the time clothes don't dictate their gender that week but there are some key differences. Lyla will not wear dresses on more masculine days and may draw on facial hair with a mascara brush. On more feminine days they dress more like a nature witch and loves floral stuff. They are more likely to have fun with makeup on those days.

Lyla doesn't want to undergo any kind of surgery or hormone therapy. Lyla may bind a bit with a sports bra but doesn't really feel uncomfortable with his chest and mostly doesn't mind having visibile tits on masc days.

Abbey always felt different from her birth sex and felt very frustrated learning she wouldn't just naturally grow into the chest and genitals she wants growing up. It was an extremely taboo and forbidden subject but despite that something inside her soul knew she was a girl. Her parents pushed very strict gender roles on her growing up and causes her to struggle with her femininity as an infertile woman who could not stand dresses. It made her feel a bit lost but she later felt better knowing other women cis and trans who don't conform to gender roles.

Abbey gets intense physical dysphoria from her crotch and for a long time she had to just deal with it until surgery was an option. Some days she could tolerate it but some days [especially when she got on estrogen and felt very hormonal] it was unbearable and a wet dream or boner would trigger a depressive episode that consists of cacooning a cover, watching her favorite movies and long naps. It was a toll on her mental health that was already pretty bad. But emotional support, understanding and patience from her friends and boyfriend helped her carry on though it. She eventually does get bottom surgery and it's a HUGE weight off her chest.

Abbey usually dresses in sweatshirts, graphic tees and cute jeans. Whatever's comfortable on the skin. She wore tank tops more when her tits grew in. And they grew in pretty dang fast and big and ah it hurt. She's a c cup which she loves but God they where tender for awhile. Double puberty isn't fun. Her transition was a bit rough and long being low middle class but she pulled through.

TW for su*cide. Leave the post now if this triggers you.

Abbey is a suicide attempt survivor. She suffers ptsd from her own husband taking his life leaving her a widow. She felt trapped and tired in her unbalanced emotions and uncertainty of ever feeling okay or getting the medical attention she needed and attempted to OD. Fortunately she was with Timothy who immediately called an ambulance. She was very tired and at first a bit disappointed she was still alive but also a bit relieved. She then had to cope with feeling suicidal.

#the simpsons #the simpsons oc #trans oc #nonbinary oc #nonbinary #trans

[rainbow-sides]

A Hand to Hold: Chapter Seven

Summary: Patton befriends an isolated boy at his high school and soon develops feelings for him that aren’t just friendship. Navigating a relationship of any kind with Logan Barry isn’t easy, but it sure is worth it!

Pairings: romantic Logicality, possible background Prinxiety but I haven’t decided yet

Word Count: 1,739

Warnings: talk about bullying, ableism from a parent, very brief mention of Deceit, mentions of abusive therapy (implied ABA), food mention, mild spoilers for Doctor Who, anxiety, school stress,

Notes: ATTENTION I am no longer using a taglist. Instead, please follow and click notifications for the blog @rainbow-sides-fics. I’ll be reblogging all of my old fics there as well as any new ones I’ll be posting. Alternatively, A Hand to Hold is now available on AO3. Love you guys! <3 ~Martin

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six

___________________________________

“GCAT PUPY PUPY,” Virgil chanted, his palms pressed to his temples. “Guanine and adenine are purines, cytosine and thymine are pyrimidines. Right?”

Logan nodded. “Correct. Well remembered.”

“Thank God for mnemonics.” Virgil popped a chip into his mouth. “Okay. Okay. What else is on the study guide?”

“It says to understand 5’ and 3’ directionality, decoding amino acid sequencing, and be able to explain the process of DNA replication as well as translation from DNA to proteins,” Logan said, summarizing the study guide for what was probably the fourth or fifth time. Although he knew that Virgil obviously knew the material, he got anxious during tests. He had asked Logan to help study with him so he felt more prepared.

“I feel like I know all of that, but there's got to be a catch, right? I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna fail.” He started to breathe too quickly.

Chex, who had been resting on the floor next to Virgil's chair, sat up. She nudged Virgil's leg with her nose and let out a soft whine.

Virgil buried his hand in the fur on the back of the dog's neck and took a deep breath. “No, I'm probably not going to fail. I've never failed a test in this class before, and I've been doing all the work.”

“I don't believe that you will fail,” Logan agreed. He twisted the ring on his finger, not sure what else to say. 

He wanted to help Virgil, but anxiety was complicated and Logan wasn't great at complicated emotions. Logan figured it was probably best to leave that to Patton. And Chex, of course. The sweet black lab was so in tune with Virgil's anxiety that she could tell even before he started to have an attack and would remind him to redirect his energy into more productive avenues.

“Would you like to keep studying?” asked Logan. “I have vocabulary cards for the whole unit, and there is always a vocabulary section on the test.”

Virgil nodded. “Sure, vocab practice sounds good. Hey, um, thanks again for coming over to study with me. It's nice to have a friend in that class now, I'm less stressed about it.”

Logan thought that Virgil still seemed very stressed. He didn't voice that opinion. “Codon,” he said, holding up the first vocabulary card.

“Uhh, uh, it's any series of three nitrogen bases that code for a specific amino acid, right?”

“Correct. Peptide bond.”

Virgil looked up at the ceiling. “It's...uh, well, peptide is referring to proteins, so...bonds between proteins?”

“Bonds between amino acids,” Logan corrected. “Okasaki fragments.”

“Oh shit,” Virgil muttered. “Um, something about the leading strand?”

“Lagging strand. Okazaki fragments are the stretches of DNA that are copied piece by piece on the lagging strand,” said Logan. He spun the ring on his finger again. He hoped that Virgil wouldn't get worried that he wasn't getting all of the vocabulary right.

“Right! I remember now.”

“Operon.”

“Oh, hey, I know this one. A group of genes that are functionally related,” Virgil said.

“Correct. Intron.”

They kept going until all of the vocabulary cards had been discussed. Logan put aside the ones that Virgil had struggled on so he could keep looking at them later.

“Seriously, thank you so much for coming and helping me out,” Virgil said. “I feel much better about the test on Thursday.”

Logan flicked his hand up near the side of his face. “You're welcome,” he said.

“I don't think I'm going to be able to cram much more into my brain right now, I need a break. Hey, how's the Doctor Who marathon with Patton going?” Virgil wondered.

With a slight bounce in his seat, Logan replied, “We watched Boom Town this weekend! On Wednesday afternoon, he is coming to my house to watch Bad Wolf and The Parting of Ways!”

Virgil leaned forward. “Oh, man, you're already almost to Nine's regeneration? Does Patton know it's coming?”

“Yes, and he says that he will miss Eccleston, but that he's seen David Tennant in other things and is looking forward to meeting Ten,” Logan said happily. He hummed to himself for a second before adding, “I am looking forward to reaching Ten's episodes, he is my favorite modern Doctor.”

“I gotta say, I like Capaldi. He's grumpier. More my style. Though Tennant at the end of his run is cool, he gets dark and edgy.” Virgil grinned. “The new season with Jodie Whittaker was freaking fantastic, too.”

“Much agreed,” Logan said. “I appreciate having a larger group of companions again, and the diversity has improved recently.”

Virgil scratched Chex behind the ears. “Yeah, big team TARDIS's are fun. One of my favorites was at the end of Journey's End was when they were all flying the TARDIS like she's supposed to be flown.”

Logan nodded. “May I ask you a question?” he said suddenly.

“Yeah, course.”

“What does it feel like to you when you are excited about something? Such as when you are talking about or watching Doctor Who, or listening to the music you like?” Logan asked.

There was a long pause as Virgil thought about that. “It makes me happy, I guess.”

“How does it physically feel?” Logan pressed.

“Oh, jeez, I'm not sure. It almost makes me feel peaceful? Like, um, listening to my music makes my mind slow down for just a little while. My body feels more relaxed afterwards. Same with watching something I like. It's a comfort, almost.” Virgil tapped his fingers against the table. “This is a tough question, dude.”

Logan leaned back in his chair. “I apologize.”

“No, it's okay. Really, I just need to think for a minute. Um...it feels warm in my chest sometimes. I guess that's about it. Well, starting a new episode almost feels like anxiety for me. But then again, most emotions turn into anxiety for me. That's just how anxiety works,” Virgil said. Then he asked, “What does it feel like for you?”

Putting his hands on his chest, Logan says, “I'm not sure. I have alexithymia, so I have a difficult time labeling emotions. I can sometimes describe it in physical sensations, though. And my excitement about my special interests feels like my heart and my lungs and my stomach are all on fire, if being on fire felt good and didn't hurt.”

“Sounds intense.”

“It is.” Logan looked down as Chex put her head against his leg. Her sweet brown eyes blinked up at him, and a soft warmth spread through his chest. “Hello,” he said. “Hello, Chex. Your ears are very soft.” He stroked her head.

“She wants to make sure that you're okay,” Virgil said. “She...she can hear changes in people's voices and checks up on them, even if it isn't me.”

“I'm alright. I don't have excellent volume control, or tone control. I never know what I sound like, exactly.” He couldn't tear his eyes away from the beautiful dog. “But I suppose that talking about my experiences with emotion do cause me some distress, which could have emerged in my voice without my noticing.”

Virgil stood up and walked over to the living room. “Want to come sit over here, Lo?” he offered.

“Um, alright.” Logan went over to join him. Chex followed him, and all three of them sat down on the ground. “Why?”

“Why does talking about your emotions distress you?” Virgil asked.

Logan froze up. “Because they are difficult,” he said slowly. “And I do not understand them. I do not like talking to people about things I do not understand.”

“Are you worried that someone might tell you that your emotions are wrong?”

A confused, bad feeling swirled around inside him. Chex laid her head and front paws in his lap, and he felt calmer. “Perhaps, but I'm not sure that I understand the question,” Logan admitted, running his hands down the dog's fur. It was almost as soothing as a full-body stim, and the pressure of her weight against his legs added to that effect.

“I mean, do you think that someone will come along and tell you that the way you are labeling your emotions is wrong? That the words you use to describe your experiences are incorrect?” Virgil tried to clarify.

“Yes, that is what happens.” It had happened many times before. The way he tried to describe what he was feeling to his mother or to his therapists had often been misinterpreted or simply ignored because it didn't make sense. Logan had learned to keep quiet about what he was feeling.

“But you're talking to me about it, even though it...scares you?” Virgil checked. “Is that right?”

Logan shifted. “Yes.”

Virgil smiled. “I think that means you trust me. Thank you.”

“I do trust you,” Logan said. “And I have learned that you and Patton and Roman are worthy of my trust. You've never once tried to make me act normally, or made fun of me.”

“It sucks that the bar is so low,” sighed Virgil.

Logan kept petting Chex. “I don't know that that means, exactly, in this context.”

“Um, it means that I don't think that somebody not laughing at you or trying to change you into something you're not should be the bar, the threshold or limit, for whether or not you can trust them. I mean...I guess what I really mean is that it sucks that you don't get that from everyone. In a perfect world, nobody would make fun of anyone or try to change them,” Virgil explained.

“But we do not live in a perfect world,” Logan reminded him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know that very well.”

Chex whined softly and raised her head to look at Virgil. Her tail thumped a few times against the floor, and he scooted closer to put his hand on her back. He closed his eyes. Logan didn't say anything. They sat there petting Chex in silence for a while, and it was a soothing silence. Logan felt much calmer and less bad by the time his mother arrived to pick him up and take him home. 

He sat in the living room and watched Ian flutter around his plants as the afternoon trailed on. His mother chatted to him as she cleaned and prepared dinner, but he wasn't listening. He was off in his own head, trying to imagine a perfect world.

___________________________________

Sorry for the long wait and the fairly short chapter! I’m working on the next one. But also I’m going back to work next week, and school starts a couple weeks after that, so who knows when I’m going to have time to write? Ah, well. I’ll do what I can.

And hey, check out Time and Time’s Turning if you like my writing! It’s a fairy AU with eventual Royality and Analogical. Also, it has art!!!!! <3 ~Martin

#a hand to hold #my writing #logicality #romantic logicality #platonic analogical #logicality fic #autistic logan

[sanguinarius-archive]

(sal)ly face headcanons bc why not

sal actually loves bright/jarring colors, but claims he doesnt look good when wearing them (he does tho, just ask the artists ash and larry)

he loves loves loves space!!! he knows the names of random stars and planets. he doesnt talk about it much bc its hard for him to word it correctly but he just.. FOCUSES on it for HOURS

when people ask him “comics or novels” he literally cannot decide. he’ll read stephen king’s “it” but then a second later he’s reading a fuckin archie comic or garfield comic

he actually loves sci fi films more than horror!

horror movies tend to freak him out because hes more psychologically affected by them (bc of his trauma), so he’d rather avoid that and go with something like sci fi

this is canon but- he loves to paint his nails! one time he painted each nail with the bi flag. it actually took a lot of precision but it was worth it

sal loves small dogs. he also loves rottweilers and chihuahuas bc they look so silly and cute with those big bulging eyes and that waggy tail

he thinks bunnies are AWESOME and one time larry put one on his head and he felt like an angel was above him

“sal how does it feel?” “it feels like… like god has sent her top guardian down to protect my mind…” “from what?” “from negative energy”

it is utter chaos when hes forced to go to school with a cold

poor boy sneezes but he cant take off his prosthetic bc he’ll feel naked af

dont worry tho, ash and larry to the rescue! they take him to larry’s apartment and hide him there and take care of him for a bit before going back to school themselves. they also bring sal any work he misses

sal gets emotional very easily over happy things!

like literally if he thinks abt his friends for one (1) second he’ll start to tear up because he just appreciates them so much

he hates strawberries. they are always too weirdly cold for him and that hurts his teeth and he also just doesn’t like the way they taste

he also stims!!!! he tends to blink a lot and grind his teeth. other stims are more visible ones like flexing his fingers or drumming them on tables, and flapping his hands as well. also kicks his legs a lot

sal loves all animals, this is canon, but like

imagine if he frickin got like.. a snake

larry is SUPER terrified of snakes, he thinks theyre cool from a distance but he hates seeing them

so when sal is like “i got something to show u” larry isnt expecting it and he sees the snake that is very clearly in its container but he just BOLTS

and sal is like “noo… babey snek is nice…”

he… has a weird relationship with bugs like all of us. but he baby talks all of them from time to time

he literally will pick up a centipede and be like “what are you doing here mister?? just crawlin around? how delightful!! i wonder what it’s like to see the world in your eyes… with that many legs…”

sal will obviously wear whatever he wants

but traditionally “masculine” clothes? no thanks. he hates it. thats why he wears dresses to formal stuff. he feels trapped or suffocated if he wears a suit or anything like that

he just prefers really baggy/loose clothing

if given a meal with different portions he’ll eat it one by one

so like… if he has fries and chicken strips. if he starts on the fries, he finishes the fries. he doesn’t switch back and forth

he also loves sweets but only if they’re small

big candy bars? no thank you

also going back to the stim thing- ash stims as well so she and sal share stim toys!!! things like squishies or weighted stuff or spinner rings or chewie jewelery, they’ll share those with each other

okay but one day he’s in art class just goofing off with larry

and larry puts glitter in his own hair as like a joke

but sal is just FASCINATED

because… oh my god… sparkl…………. shinyy…

and so he practically pours the entire tub of glitter on his hair

and he gets in so much trouble for it but he’s like “no miss listen i am a goddess. this is who i am. i am a teen figuring my life out”

and for the rest of the day he doesn’t bother to get any of it out so he walks around the school with a terribly large amount of glitter in his hair

larry cries of laughter whenever he sees him

ash thinks he’s a QUEEN and insists that he comes over and lets her fiddle with his hair and actually make it v pretty and sparkly

so he accepts!!!!!

sal also loves little kids and is super good with them. sometimes kids get scared of his mask, but it’s easy for him to reassure them

when soda is born, sal declares he’s going to be her favorite uncle

and he’s right!

larry’s not jealous though cause yeah, sal is pretty great

and honestly? sal is super protective of soda. he shields her from seeing or hearing any bad things

i also headcanon sal’s voice is a bit like kurt cobain’s- so he kind of sings like him too? but doesn’t scream or anything. his singing voice very soft like kurt’s in the beginning of lithium

sal doesn’t really like to sing though. in front of people, at least

he loves music box versions of songs, they’re just so relaxing and they help him fall asleep a lot of the time

also when he sleeps it’s usually on his back, so gizmo lays on his stomach through the night. sal doesn’t move a lot during his sleep

he has sleepwalked though, to larry’s place

and larry woke up and saw sal (this is after he first saw him without his mask) and he saw him without his glass eye For The First Time

larry TRIES not to wake him up but pretty much fails and sal kind of has a panic attack

he’s like “that- i- i’m sorry- my eye-” and covers it but larry pulls his hand down back to his side and is like “it’s ok you look super cool without it”

prom is honestly one of the best nights of sal’s life

he’s got his hair up in a bun and wears a rainbow-striped t-shirt with a high-waisted black skirt and a long-sleeved black shirt underneath the t-shirt and tall dark leather boots

his nails are painted blue, red, purple, orange to represent him, larry, ash and todd (tho his nails on his thumbs are painted black)

because he secretly loves dancing when no one is around, he just kind of rocks it at prom and his friends are blown away bc… holy shit?? sal fisher can Dance????

but he’s more playful with it

he and larry scream the lyrics to the songs that play

they all end up ditching the prom and going outside to the back of the school and just kinda goof off

larry and ash share a cigarette and todd drives all of them out beyond city limits to an open field

they just kinda lay down in the grass there and stargaze for nearly the entire night

they talk about stupid stuff and serious stuff

honestly sal just goes back to his apartment very later and happy cries

cause again, he gets so emotional over happy stuff

and he loves his friends very much

and no there is no bad ending to this or bad ending that i won’t talk about

they all grow up together and are happy

EDIT: ANOTHER ONE I FORGOT TO ADD... sal LOVES deadpool. hes only into marvel for deadpool. he relates to him bc hey they both have deformed faces (except for dp its his whole body too i think) but ya!!!! he loves wade frickin wilson

#mine #sally face #sal fisher #larry johnson #ashley campbell #todd morrison #long post/ #headcanons #sally face headcanons #sf headcanons

[what-even-is-thiss]

ADHD Sides

Most of the ADHD headcanons have been of Patton which is nice, but imagine an alternate universe where we’re considering all of them. Okay? Okay.

Patton

Hyperactive-impulsive type

He doesn’t actually have that many problems with attention, he’s just hyperactive and impulsive as heck

Feels a lot. Feels many things. Sometimes it’s hard for him to even understand how much he’s feeling.

Likely to bounce on the balls of his feet and grip his hands tight and curl his lips in and make noise to regulate the flow of energy

Is the type to just kind of accept the consequences of his impulsive decisions.

Well I wanted to touch the pretty hot wax and I did and now my finger hurts. Oh well, I know first aid.

Well I wanted Thomas to eat an entire pie and he did and now our stomach hurts really bad. Ah well. It tasted good.

Stutters when he’s excited

Gets super passionate about things he likes and can’t figure out how to properly express it.

Constantly moving, swaying even when he’s standing properly.

Roman

Combined type

Has approximately 1,245.7 unfinished projects.

Sometimes when you’re talking to him he’ll be writing in a book or humming to himself or practicing sword moves and you’ll think he’s not paying attention but then later will be able to recite word for word what you said.

Will change the subject at random times because he can’t hold in what he has to talk about and he’s been thinking about it forever. (Actually about 30 seconds but who can tell the difference)

Has 10,000 things he’s thinking about at any given time. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Hey, Thomas wants a talking owl so bad okay?

Fidgets and stims in subtle ways like how he moves his fingers or rubs his toes against the inside of his shoes or something. It’s been drilled into his head he should be proper so he fidgets in really subtle ways.

If he was unimpeded he would be jumping and flapping his arms all over the place. The closest we saw of him losing control would’ve been the I’m in a Disney show video.

First impulse: Attack! Oops I just almost took Morality’s entire face off.

Brain works at the speed of light, making connections others might take hours to see. Helps with creative projects.

If he’s not interested he just can’t pay attention. Would rather fight something or take a nap.

If it’s not interesting or leading to what he wants then literally what is the point of doing it he doesn’t understand

Hyper focuses when he’s cleaning because he’s kind of a neat freak. If you bother him when he’s cleaning his nails prepare to be decapitated because he’s completely absorbed in what he’s doing.

Same if he’s acting or giving a speech. Interrupting him while he’s doing this is basically suicide.

Will never stay still for more than ten minutes. He needs to be doing something. Watching tv. Cleaning. Working on a project. Coming up with a joke. Something. Anything. Needs to do something.

Logan

Innatentive type, but pretty mild

Gets hyperfixated on things. Mystery novels, astronomy, big words, chemistry. Lowkey constantly thinking about it 24/7.

Either feels everything at once or nothing at all. Hours or days of almost no emotion and being unimpressed and then a few seconds of really intense emotion.

He’s usually pretty surprised by his own outbursts but sometimes he catches them. Even so, it’s pretty obvious when he’s trying to repress them.

Certain subjects are really touchy and can set him off in a second. Sometimes they don’t make any sense, even to him. Like when someone insults his nonexistent mother.

Sometimes he’ll see something like a ball or eraser flying at his head and think “I should move out of the way now.” but he doesn’t and gets hit with it.

Sometimes does the thing where he’s concentrating so hard on one thing that he forgets to breathe for a few seconds.

Doesn’t or can’t always think about the emotional consequences of what he’s saying until after he says it. He has social skills, sometimes they just take a break for a few seconds.

“Obvious” things can fly over his head. A lot. He’s not mad when they’re pointed out to him usually though. He’s used to it by now.

Clicks pens and taps on things to no end. Probably has a fidget toy he can subtly play with in his pocket. Shakes his leg when at desks.

Sometimes when he’s thinking really hard about a problem he’ll stand or sit completely still for hours on end and it can look a little disturbing.

Sometimes it’s the complete opposite. When you hear constant footsteps coming from Logic’s room you know he’s thinking a lot and really fast.

Often thinks by talking. It’s common for the others to hear him talking to himself. It’s just how he processes information. Also why he talks so much and exposition dumps during debates.

Will work on something for hours and then suddenly come out of it and be like “Wait a moment. Did I forget to eat again?” And then realizes he’s really thirsty and hasn’t gone to the restroom all day.

Virgil

Inattentive type

Can’t sit in one position. Will sit on the arm of the couch, upside down on the couch with his feet on the wall, on the floor, hunched over, sitting up straight, lying down, and cross-legged all in the space of twenty minutes.

If he can’t keep changing positions he can’t think, and if he can’t think he becomes more anxious, and that is never good.

Multitasking addiction. Will watch tv, scroll through Tumblr, tidy his area, and make a list all at the same time while quietly planning what he wants for dinner in his head.

Like Logic, his emotions are often all or nothing. Just not quite as extreme in how fast this changes. (he doesn’t really have outbursts and his periods of feeling too much last a bit longer so it’s a bit easier to not show them)

Sometimes this leads to him not caring about the full consequences of what he says and sometimes caring too much about what he says. Switching between villain ‘do whatever it takes to get this done damn the emotional consequences’ mindset and self-conscious ‘oh dear god I destroy everything I touch’ mindset.

Often this switch happens subtly in the space of a few seconds, like in the originality video.

He has better impulse control then Patton or Creativity but it still can be a problem sometimes. Catch him drinking an entire pot of coffee at four in the afternoon and then crashing for twelve hours because he forgot that caffeine makes him tired.

Tends to focus on information he thinks helps him. Finds information that contradicts his point of view to be boring or frustrating. See: My Negative Thinking.

Will fidget by biting his fingers or nails when he’s scared or concentrating. He’s trying to stop biting his fingers and skin to fidget but sometimes he realizes he’s doing it without thinking.

Has mastered the art of carrying on a conversation while only knowing half the information.

Can hyperfocus on problems or distressing things and doesn’t find it fun but is so absorbed in it that he can’t stop.

Hyperfixations can include things like conspiracy theories, aesthetic related emo/goth stuff, and whatever problems he thinks the rest of the mind is creating.

Breaking routine is frustrating. If it’s broken he gets mad and might forget to do simple things like shower or eat.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #morality sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #logicsanders #roman sanders #prince sanders #roman said a thing

[dollarstoreartspam]

Ok so Jacob Portman and Olive Abrolhos Elephanta have ADHD and you can pry this headcanon out of my cold dead ADHD hands so here we go~

Jacob

Younger Jacob had like a big hyper fixation on the peculiars and exploring and it was like a big Special Interest, and when he got older and got made fun of and sort of lost his interest he felt really Empty for a very long time 

Somewhat subtle stimmer

He chew stims a lot, he’s definitely broken like a dozen pens or more by chewing on the ends really hard. He also probably chews on shirt sleeves and the inside of his cheek, once he bought himself a chew stim toy but his mom thought it was gross and threw it away, he goes through like three packs of gum a week

When he’s really excited he probably like slams his hands of counters and stuff

The human embodiment of the Leg Bounce ™

Sensory stims are his SHIT man, Ricky probably makes fun of him because of how many slime blogs he follows

Hyper Fixates on really specific things like how planes work and ends up watching shows ‘How it’s Made’ and various documentaries and reads like every slightly related Wiki and before he knows it it’s been 40 hours and he hasn't moved for two days

Forgets to eat way too fucking much

A smart boy, he’s pretty good at understanding things on a base level and his anxiety forces him to behave enough in class so he isn’t diagnosed with ADHD until he’s like 15 and his parents are the kind of people who “Don't believe in labels” and think “It's just a phase everyone goes through” and Jacob is SUFFERING 

Zones out a lot

He’s TERRIBLE at studying and reading stuff like he gets distracted v easily

When he tries to study for finals it’s like dissociation central and hours of Tumblr scrolling

The reason he hates his job at Smart Aid is because it’s that type of Boring ™ where you feel like your brain is going to explode and you’re filled with such an overwhelming sense of under stimulation you want to slam your head against a table

Goes through interests so fast. I can guarantee this boy has played at least 5 sports, been in 20 + clubs, and picked up a million hobbies before dropping them all within a month to a year (like in the book when he talks about how the year before he had begged his parents for a camera he no longer gave two shits about like that’s so relatable man)

CANNOT maintain friendships. He won’t text back or drives them away and he’s honestly surprised Ricky and the peculiars have stuck around so long.

Olive

Weirdest fucking thought processes, like she’ll just be sitting at the dinner table and be like “Doesn’t that old lady who lives halfway up the street have red curtains?” and everyone is like “wut” and she’s like “WELL we were having turkey for dinner and that made me think of when me and my parents moved to England, right? And I met this girl named Tilly and she was my best friend! And Tilly had this Golden-Brown hair, right, that was in these pretty bright copper coils? And it looked exactly the color of this turkey! And Tilly only visited over the winter because she was staying with her aunt and she taught me all about christmas and I taught her about hanukkah and she got me this really nice skirt one year for what we called christmaanukah! It was brown. But her Aunt didn’t like her hanging around me right? And whenever Tilly visited and we hung out it was cold because we had to hide outside and her cheeks got all red and then I remembered I tore my current skirt and I wanted Horace to make me a new one but this time a red one  because red is just a much more pleasant color isn’t it? But we’d need to go into town and steal some red fabric right? So I thought of the old lady with red curtains. Horace do you think that would make a nice skirt?” and all Horace, who is used to these tangents is just like “sure olive” 

Stims so MUCH

When she’s excited she gets very bouncy and just kinda hops around and if the peculiars aren’t careful she might just like hop to the ceiling or the sky

Flaps so much holy shit she gets so excited man and you know, you just gotta Flap ™

Gets distracted very easily

Not the best at school, she’s loud and forgetful and she tries SO HARD but can’t focus

Wants to Always Do Something. It doesn’t matter what but this girl Cannot Sit Still

When she gets her mind set on something NOTHING can stop her from starting. Starting being the key word here. She’ll focus on one project for like three days straight and then stop right before finishing cuz she got bored and it drives Miss Peregrine INSANE

SO IMPULSIVE

Jacob gets her a Fidget Spinner and she’s in Heaven she loves it

Needs to say out loud what she plans on doing or she WILL forget

Together

Have the most inconsistent rapidly changing conversations that NO ONE can follow

Don’t tell them to get anything or remember anything or go anywhere without someone else because they WILL distract each other and forget

They definitely infodump to everyone and each other, Bronwyn and Millard are good to infodump too because they listen and REMEMBER some of your random babble. Sometimes Jacob and Olive will infodump to each other and have a full conversation, both talking about two completely different subjects and overlapping each other and it’s a glorious mess.

Neither have ANY perception of time its bad

#On this weeks episode of ‘Emma projects her problems on fictional characters’ #I literally do EVERYTHING IN THIS POST #oh my god im so sorry #ADHD #ADHD fucking sucks #olive abroholos elephanta #jacob portman #mphfpc

[creacherkeeper]

can you write an autistic!Fitz fic where he builds himself the perfect autistic sensory room with his autistic engineering skills

Three of a Kind 

sequel to the Caroline fic 

another anon asked for autistic Jemma set in the Caroline verse 

and here’s the page on atypical autism jemma is reading 

happy @disabilityfest everyone! 

~2600 words 

read on ao3 

The front door opens and closes, and before Jemma can callout she hears, “It’s just us!”, so she settles back against the couch. There’sthe patter of little feet, Fitz saying “Your shoes-! Oh, alright,” and thenCaroline is crashing onto the couch beside Jemma.

Jemma smiles, setting her laptop on the end table. “Darling,did you take your shoes off like daddy asked you to?”

Caroline twiddles her fingers, not answering, but she liftsher legs to display the two bright blue tennis shoes still on her feet.

“How about you go back to daddy and have him help you takethose off?”

With a pout, Caroline pulls herself off the couch and slumpsback toward the foyer. Jemma can hear Fitz talking, but she can’t make out whathe says, before Caroline makes her way back to Jemma and pokes her in the knee.

“Fishy is hungry,” she says, still pouting.

“What would you like to eat?” (Jemma doesn’t know why sheasks, she’ll always get the same answer. She supposes it’s just to let Carolinefeel like she’s making decisions.)

“Fish food.”

“Do you want it in water?”

Caroline shakes her head.

Jemma gets up, makes her way to the kitchen, and poursCaroline a bowl of plain Cheerios, no milk. She squats down so she’s oneye-level with the four-year-old.

“How about you take this up to your playroom so that I cantalk to your father for a little while? That sound good?”

Caroline takes the bowl and dashes away, thundering up thestairs.

That’s when Fitz enters the room, tossing Caroline’sbackpack on the table and then coming over to give Jemma a peck on the lips. “Enjoyingyour day off?” he asks.

“I’ve been doing research.”

“So, that’s a yes,” he chuckles.

“I—” Jemma’s thumbs run over her fingers. “I actually wantedto talk to you about something.”

“Oh.” Fitz’s eyes flick over her face, not staying in anyone spot for too long. He backs up and leans against the table, crossing hisarms. “Good something, or bad something?”

“Good something, I think.”

Fitz relaxes, face falling into something relieved. “Oh,good. Shoot, then.”

“I think I’m autistic.”

Fitz blinks, not responding for a few seconds. “Really?”

“Well, see—” Jemma moves back into the family room, Fitztrailing her. She picks up her laptop and sits down on the couch, Fitz fallingnext to her. “I’ve been doing a lot of reading on something called ‘atypicalautism’. It’s autism, just a presentation of it that frequently falls under theradar. It can show up like that in any gender, but it’s more common in girls.Doctors frequently miss it, which is one of the reasons girls aren’t diagnosed asmuch.”

“And you think you have it?” Fitz asks, nodding towards thelaptop.

Jemma chews her thumbnail for a moment, before realizing andpulling it out of her mouth. “I think so. I’m- I’m pretty sure, actually. Irelate to a lot of it. And I relate to typical autism things as well, I’ve beenrealizing: the literal-mindedness, the difficulty with typical socialinteraction, need for consistency and order, and I’m good at patternrecognition. I think my interest in astronomy would count as a specialinterest, as well, and also in venomous things. I know just about everyvenomous species, and all about different types of poisons in animals.”

“That’s true,” Fitz says, “you do.”

“And apparently alexithymia is an autistic thing, as well aschildhood hyperlexia.”

“Alexithymia?”

“It’s defined as difficultly understanding and identifying emotionsin the self, and difficulty describing emotions to other people. You know I’vealways been an emotional person, but I do have a lot of trouble with that. Inever knew there was a word for it until today.”

Fitz nods. “Yeah, that makes sense for you. What about theatypical autism stuff, then?”

“Here, this page has some information about it.” She handsover the laptop.

Fitz scrolls through the page, nodding occasionally. “’Usescontrol as a stress management technique’, yeah, that’s definitely you. Theanxiety and fear thing is you, too. ‘Fired up when talking about specialinterests’. ‘Hates injustice’.” Fitz laughs. “This was basically written aboutyou. ‘Shuts down when overloaded’, yeah, you do that. You always get reallyquiet. ‘Stims to soothe’. You do that, too.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah, you always rub your fingers together, and do thatneck thing.” Fitz demonstrates, squeezing against his neck.

“Huh,” Jemma says. “I didn’t even think of that.”

“But, yeah, this all sounds a lot like you,” Fitz says,passing the laptop back. “Are you gonna make an appointment to get tested?”

Jemma is quiet, and Fitz nudges her foot with his.

“Jem?”

“I was thinking … no.”

“Oh. Really? Why?”

Jemma sighs, briefly chewing on her bottom lip. “I suppose Ijust don’t see the benefit of it. For me, I mean. I feel like as long as Iknow, and the people I choose to tell know, that’s all I really need. As far asaccommodations go, I know Coulson will grant them to me if I talk to him aboutit. I’m not sure I even need any, though, considering I have control over mostof the lab as it is, and have set it up how I like it. But there’s always thequestion of, should I try to get another job one day, would that be a markagainst me? It’s already hard enough being a woman in STEM, much less one witha stigmatized disability.”

“I didn’t think about that,” Fitz admits.

“A diagnosis follows you whether you want it to or not,”Jemma says. “But if it was just up to me, I could control it. I could share itonly with people I trust. I just think I would feel more comfortable about itthat way. Even besides work, what if we wanted to adopt one day? Both of ushaving a diagnosis would make our chances slim, despite all our accomplishmentsand the good life we can provide a child.”

Fitz slumps against the back of the couch, brow furrowed inthought. “Do you think …” He wrings his hands. “Do you think I shouldn’t havegotten diagnosed?”

Jemma shakes her head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I thinkit was good you got diagnosed. For one thing, I think hearing it confirmed byan authority on it really helped you. I’m not sure you would’ve accepted itotherwise.”

“That’s true, I probably wouldn’t have.” He’s quiet for amoment. “Do you think having the diagnosis will hurt Caroline?”

Jemma purses her lips, thinking. “I think things are changing.I think advocates are working every day to make sure the world is a fairerplace to autistic people in the future. By the time Caroline is joining thework force, I think things are going to be a lot different. If it isn’t … I don’tknow. It might hurt, it might not. Depends on her field. We don’t really haveany way of knowing now. But I think the diagnosis was important for her, so shecan get accommodations in school. She’s starting kindergarten next year, andit's not going to be a big deal then, but once she gets into a standardclassroom environment she’s going to need help.”

“I just want what’s best for her.”

Jemma reaches over and links their hands. “I know, me too.”

Fitz chews on his cheek, staring down at the floor. After afew seconds he shakes his head. “Sorry, this is supposed to be about you,though.” He nods toward the laptop, still open on the ‘atypical autism’ page. “I’mreally glad you found that. I’m glad you know now.”

“I mean, I’m going to keep doing research. This is somethingI really have to think about. And I’d like to talk to my parents about it, aswell. But, this is something I’m pretty sure about. It makes sense. In a ‘piecesfalling together’ sort of way.”

Fitz nods. “That’s how it felt for me, too, once I startedreally thinking about it.”

“And … I don’t know. I suppose a part of me likes the ideaof sharing that with you. It might’ve been one of the things that drew ustogether in the first place.”

Fitz squeezes her hand, a smile curling its way across hisface. “I like the idea of sharing that with you, too.” Suddenly, his eyebrowsshoot up. “Speaking of, I think you’re really going to like what I’m doing withthe playroom.”

Jemma’s gaze turns suspicious. “What are you doing with theplayroom?”

Fitz shakes his head, darting off the couch. “I can’t tellyou.”

Jemma stands. “Why not?”

He turns and backs toward the stairs, facing her and tryingto contain a grin. “Then it won’t be a surprise.”

“Fitz,” Jemmawarns.

“Jemma,” Fitzmocks.

“Tell me.”

Fitz laughs, and turns and dashes up the stairs.

“Ugh, Fitz,” Jemma calls. “Don’t be childish.”

(She still runs after him anyways.)

The playroom door slams behind him, and she hears the lockclick as she stops in front of it.

“Fitz, this is ridiculous.”

She hears mumbling from behind the door, then Caroline’sexcited voice shouting, “It’s a surprise!”

“Well, how long is this surprise going to take?”

More mumbling, then Caroline saying, “A week! A week!”

Jemma huffs a sigh. “Oneweek, and then I’m coming in whether you like it or not.”

Fitz laughs. “Deal.”

-

A week goes by, and Fitz’s secrecy only feeds her voracious curiosity.He keeps her away from the playroom, bringing in materials and other itemswhile she’s at work, or late at night after she’s already gone to bed. Sheadmits, she did try to get in once. She couldn’t help it, she was just tooinquisitive. But the door had been locked.

They’re sitting at dinner, Fitz and Jemma eating pasta andchicken leftovers from the Italian restaurant down the street, Caroline eatingCheerios. There are a few bites of chicken on Caroline’s plate that she hasn’ttouched, but it’s been a long day and Jemma is too tired to push it.

Fitz clears his throat, and Jemma looks up.

“So …” he says, biting back on a grin. “The playroom isdone.”

“What?” Jemma says, almost not believing it, it feels likeshe’s been waiting so long.

“Yeah, finished it this morning.”

Jemma quickly wipes her mouth with her napkin and pushes herchair back.

“Jem, you’ve still got half a plate of—”

But Jemma’s already up the stairs.

She tries the playroom door, and this time it’s open. Shepushes in, and then stops short in the doorway.

It’s a lot to take in all at once.

Caroline squeezes past her, and throws herself onto the bigbeanbag chair in the corner of the room, landing with a whoomp. Fitz chuckles, sidling up behind Jemma, a hand on her hip.

“Can I give you the tour?”

Jemma, still too shocked to speak, nods.

Fitz takes her hand and leads her in. He turns her aroundfirst, facing the wall the door is on.

“So this is more for- um—” Fitz motions with his hand. “-horizontalclimbing than vertical climbing. I didn’t want to make it too tall, but thereare pads on the floor in case she falls still.”

Jemma looks down, and sure enough there are thick padsbeneath the climbing wall.

He tugs her hand, and she follows. On the next wall is aboard, and the board is covered in different materials. Some plush, furryfabrics, a circle of shag carpeting, velvet, some fabric with bumps, ridgedcarboard, and sandpaper.

“Texture board,” Fitz says, and then motions to the table infront of it. “And a sandbox. And see, it’s got this little funnel, so you can—”Fitz scoops up some of the sand with a cup, and pours it into a funnel that’ssupported by bars over the sandbox. The sand falls through some clear tubes andthen rains down out of a watering can nozzle. Fitz holds his hand out, and letsthe sand rain down over his palm and slip between his fingers. Once it’sfinished, he wipes his hand over the table and then on his pants, then takesJemma’s again.

In the next corner is the bean bag chair, which Caroline isstill lying face down on, kicking her feet through the air. Suspended over thebeanbag chair is a rope net, hanging low enough that the four-year-old couldgrab onto and pull herself up. It stretches from over the chair to the middleof the room, above a small blanket fort that’s built against the window,letting natural light into the fort. There’s a corner of a weighted blanketpeeking out from the entrance.

Fitz pulls her to the last corner. Hanging from the ceilingis a large, circular swing, like a small trampoline suspended on ropes. Fitzducks under the ropes and sits on one side of the swing, patting the otherside.

“I got one big enough we could both sit on it.”

Jemma joins him, pulling her knees up to her chest andgazing around the room as Fitz gently rocks them.

“So … what do you think?”

Jemma shakes her head. “I … I don’t know what to say.”

Fitz chews his bottom lip. “I mean, it’s for Caroline,obviously. It was made with her in mind. But also … I don’t know. Kind of addedstuff I thought we’d like, as well. Obviously we’re a bit too tall for the rockwall. And we might just- uh—” Fitz looks over. “-just stick our heads in thefort. But, you know. It’s sort of a family thing. Something we can all enjoytogether.”

“Fitz,” Jemma breathes. “I … This is amazing. I’mspeechless.”

Fitz peers at her hopefully. “Yeah?”

“Truly.” She grabs his hand with her own, bringing it up torest against her chest. “I can’t even imagine having something like this when Iwas a kid.”

Fitz grins. “Well, Caroline is going to grow up with one.”

“Speaking of,” Jemma says. “Caroline, have you said thankyou to daddy for building all of this for you?”

Caroline squirms off the beanbag and starts jumping aroundthe room, flapping her hands by the sides of her face, squealing loudly. Shehops and twists about, dancing around the room until she stops suddenly, makesa loud kissing sound, “Mwah!”, andthen throws herself back on the beanbag.

Jemma can’t help her loud laugh. “I think that means ‘thankyou’.”

Fitz nods, snorting. “Yeah, I think it does.”  

Jemma bites her lip, dropping Fitz’s hand to tangle her owntogether.

Fitz nudges her with his shoulder. “You want to go play withthe sandbox, don’t you?”

“I want to play with the sandbox,” Jemma admits.

Fitz pulls her off the swing and back over to the table withthe sandbox. Jemma kneels in front of it, scooping up a cup of sand and thenpouring it over her fingers, grinning at the sensation. Caroline joins her,making little “wshh, wshh, wshh”sounds with her mouth as she traces patterns in the sand.

Fitz leans against the wall to watch them, looking on with afond smile.

“I’m really glad you both like it,” he says.

Jemma and Caroline both just give pleased hums.

#disabilityfest #aosficnet #fitzsimmons #jemma simmons #leo fitz #aos #lmao sorry this took like four months yall #i just had a lot of stuff to write #better late than never right!! #and what better month to write it than disabilityfest month #gonna try to write some more disability stuff this month #hope you enjoy #Anonymous

[podcastmecaptain]

the stim bin

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​ , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today as well all three aforementioned dorks are neurodivergent folks writing about neurodivergent folks.

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

attention: all contents incredibly neurodivergent

everyone shares those fidget cubes

collectively they have like five

in so many colors

esther also designs a giant version that’s like. the size of a KEYBOARD and with lots more options and Bigger

jack builds it

they call it the stimboard deluxe

anthony has nintendo

sally brings him all her childhood games and watches him hyperfocus

sally and anthony were the first autistic friend each other had and they love sharing weird stuff from their childhoods that nobody else liked

they have a lot of overlap of interests and they spent so long without anyone like them who really got them

and they both feel so safe and loved not only with each other but with the whole gang because everyone’s neurodiv af even if they’re not sure in exactly what way

anthony brings notes everywhere

scribble scribble

Doing The Right Thing, Doing Science For Good is sort of his ruling philosophy

a lot of times it’s really easy to lead him down the wrong path if he thinks it’s Science For Good

he has some problems with gullibility

the pressure stimming is too real

PRESSURE! STIM! HUGS!

Big Coats or Lab Coats

fiddling with his glasses

he’s bad at artistic/creative things and just doesn’t get it. he can follow a pattern tho,

polish patterns work for him, especially with tape. he likes taking care of his nails because he’s v tactile, he likes the smooth feeling of the polish and likes tapping his nails

he either gets really anxious or angry about Bad things

breakdowns, breaking things, and weirdly quick recoveries

he could hug people for hours

he usually does if he’s had a panic attack, but other than that acts like he’s fine

canon says sally eats weird and has a disturbing appetite so like,

sally separating EVERY SINGLE FOOD by group and flavor and texture and then like putting one piece of one in her mouth at a time and keeps TALKING CAUSE SHE’S A DORK

other options:

SHREDS EVERYTHING AND EATS IT WITH A STRAW

eats only EXACTLY one quarter of anything at a time and forgets the rest

uses her hands for THINGS SHE SHOULD NOT

burnt things

she love the Cronch

puts things together that should not even touch

jack cries the day he sees her dip pickles in whipped cream and shove a fistful of blue cheese blissfully into her mouth immediately after that

sally’s special interests:

electronics, gadgets, tinkering, SCIENCE, beginning quantum physics, computers

stims by tinkering and uses voice recordings for vocal stims, plays with her hair and bites her nails, spinning, dancing, tapping tools

hands on everything

the dancing is so bad and uses her full body (it’s actually so cute)

is a bad driver bc she either hyperfocuses on the road or she starts TALKING and gets lost in anything BUT driving

sally wears her lab coat everywhere

she plays with the seams, runs the fabric between her fingers, tugs on the corners of it to create pressure on her shoulders

sometimes she spins in a circle just to let the fabric flap behind her like a cape

tags on clothing are EVIL

she takes them out with a seam ripper till there’s no traces

sallys clothes are always a little large and odd bc if they’re not comfy she Dies

no really she’ll end up in a ball somewhere crying because of sensory grossness

she has serious sensory processing issues

sometimes it’s really a Drag but she loves fiddling with things so much and it feels so good and she wouldn’t give it up for the world

she has a watch that sometimes she’ll make clicking noises along with the tick tick tick tick

lots more under the readmore!

sally is the queen of weighted blankets

she always has one readily accessible in case she needs to wrap up in it

the gang Knows this and they’re always asking her to borrow one

like one time esther texts sally like “help me im having sensory issues and i need hugs”

and sally turns up with not one but TWO heavy blankets

(she may have fallen over once or twice trying to carry both of them)

(just these two lil scurrying feet on skinny legs goin patpatpatpat supporting this huge bundle of extra-weighted bedding floating down the hall)

she wraps esther in them and then squeezes her, too

for good measure, sally gets up on her tippie toes and rests her chin on esther’s head

esther, muffled: “i am a burrito now”

sally: “a precious tiny gay burrito”

or, estherrito

bridget puts her in her phone contacts as ‘ettie burrito’

and sally in turn puts her in hers as ‘questherdilla’

also oh my god when will she Stop doing fingerguns with accompanying tongue clicks

sally talks to herself

she has a little wee tape recorder named Diane because Diane

its covered in stickers

she likes to record what she’s doing to organize herself and calm down

and she’ll replay them to process things

sometimes her friends will leave happy messages on there for her

or helen will sing her a little ditty

helen is the world’s best audio stim

her voice is just really soothing

she’ll sing absently and everyone just operates more smoothly for that minute

she likes singing for herself too

humming and tapping her instrument is a soothing habit

helen is very audio/vocal

she likes to play the same song over and over again

bridget has some issues with self image

she also has obsessive tendencies, sometimes related to organization and labeling things

but also related to literature and only being able to talk about whatever she’s into

sometimes it’s easier to quote things from her favorite books instead of replying in her own words

she doesn’t like things that are uneven or unbalanced

objects OR concepts that are unfair or unequal

(except her hair. her hair is badass and she’s okay with that kind of disunity)

esther’s adhd and her big stims are

high heel clicks on the floor when she walks

fancy & feminine clothes that make her feel secure

the ritual of putting on her makeup

pencils (tapping or twirling)

HER RINGS, she has three and she spins spins spins

she likes to rub the shaved side of bridget’s head

and run her fingers through the hair on the other side

she ALWAYS has her father’s old deck of cards with her, she’s shuffled them so many times they’re completely worn down, and no one is allowed to touch them but her

they’re very soft, she has a new pack as well for crisper sound/feeling and everyday use

sometimes she uses card games as lens to make sense of the world

she has a rough time with communication and a rough time with empathy but she’s trying to work on both of those

both come easier with people she’s close to and bridget is helping her some too

it’s easy for her to hyperfocus in class and doing homework, so it took them a while to diagnose her

out of all of them, esther is the best at reminding people to be organized and do self-care (tho she doesn’t always take care of herself)

she spends a lot of her time in her own head, she really values alone time, and she needs to recharge after she spends time around people

even people she loves

jack’s also adhd, had been diagnosed for a while and has almost all of the opposite symptoms as esther (which is another one of the reasons it took them so long to figure out esther)

jack always works better after he moves, if he runs a little or bounces a ball around or is shaking his legs, rocking on his heels

he makes lots of rolling rrr sounds and blows his lips when he’s frustrated

the pencil chewing ended in splinters and the pen chewing ended in ink all over so now he has a little necklace with a chewable shark

the sharks name is Fredrico

his binder is actually kinda helpful because it’s pressure

he screws and unscrews things a lot

actually taking apart and putting back together all machinery is a Big Thing

june is dyslexic

she has cute tinted glasses to help her with studying

sometimes helen reads stuff out loud for her, she doesn’t mind but june hates to ask

for her birthday quentin bought her a five sided highlighter to color code different things

she has some emotional processing issues

it’s easier to feel angry than anything else

& her methods of dealing with anger aren’t super healthy either

quentin is the only one who actually can manage himself

Quentin is a Hydrated Boy

(he has great skin)

quentin always comes across as super chill but that’s actually because he has hella anxiety and works really hard to manage it

penny is autistic and if june and helen are the dad and mom friends and esther is the gay cousin

then sally and anthony are the autistic aunt and uncle who adopt penny as their niece

they can spot one of their own from a mile off and just decided We Gonna Take Her Under Our Big Fluffy Damn Wings

penny is the Flappiest Autistic

big happy arm flaps, upset little hand flaps, her fast excited flaps are literally the best and most joyous thing

she’s always been kinda embarrassed and insecure about it but jack is so supportive

he’s only a moderate flapper but he often flaps with her when she does it

and he calls her his butterfly

this melts her heart and makes her feel happy and not weird and when this happens she is prone to flapping even harder

she calls him her moth

they’re precious fluttery darlings

sometimes when they both get going, sally joins in too and they all spin around the room fluttering in a big flappy tornado

it’s Good 

#ars placement #ars paradoxica #sally grissom #esther roberts #anthony partridge #helen partridge #june barlowe #jack wyatt #bridget chambers #quentin barlowe #penny wise #estherroberts #lizzieraindrops #high school au #modern au #neurodivergent #actually autistic #nd headcanons

[autisticpika]

@circusbabys HOLEY MOLEY okay here i go!!!!! thabk u my sweet friend.. also lets hope tumblr doesnt mess up the spacing since im on mobile xD A- i have a few autie friends!!! most of them are on here (like u thwompus!!!) but otherwise i dont have many autistic friends irl. i have a friend at the b&g club but we are very different and i had 2 friends from my old school but we dont rlly talk anymore. if i do have any more autie friends irl, theyre undiagnosed i guess ? B- i love visual stimming so much!!! i have a blog dedicated to just visual stimmy videos @pokemonyello (shameless self promo lol) also i love tactile stimming even though my skin picking makes it restricting to tactile stim much. i also totally dig chewing on things from food to.. not food. i wish i had a chew necklace that i could wear in public :P i have one but its big and meant for babies so.. needless to say i dont wear it much C- i kkkkind of answered this in the last one? but more specifically i like stims like rocking when i can, rubbing silky textures like my lanyard/baby blanket (i like smooth textures like the silicone charm on my lanyard i have to stop myself from chewing on it haha) and i love rubbing my fingers together i was literally just doing it while i was trying to think of another example lol!! D. when i was rlly young just barely before i was introduced to pokemon i was really fixated on animals, specifically like insects (like satoshi tajiri!!) and dinosaurs! i looooved dinosaurs and owned lots of books on them. i also really loved steve irwin the crocodile hunter i sent a letter to him when i was 5ish :3 and of course pokemon came around eventually lol! E. four fun facts!!! hmm heck. im bad at this, i can usually come up with facts depending on random context better,, 1. did u know that the Official pokemon mascot was almost clefairy? they eventually decided pikachu was more gender neutral i gues (u kno... bc clefairy is Pink... thas for gorls only everyone knows) 2. did u know pokemon stadium in the us was actually technically the intended expansion to japanese pokemon stadium? it was meant for the nintendo 64 disc drive as an upgrade to the original game but the disc drive did not do well so they just sold it as pokemon stadium (1) in the us as a separate game. 3. super smash brothers for the 64 actually started out as just a plain ole fighting game! the liscensed characters came into the picture later because the makers thought it would make the game more appealing to have it star characters like mario, link, pikachu, and captain falcon. 4. (this one i just learned a couple days ago!) in super monkey ball 2, in the name selection before you start story mode, there is every letter in the alphabet except for lower case w! you can type a capital w but no lower case. also some levels have background things removed to compensate for space, like how the fish is removed in the level "URL" and the vegetables in the soup are gone from... the level with the multiple wormholes and the tilty small paths? i forgot the name of that level :'3 also in one of the levels one of the background assets is randomly yellow, even though that part isnt yellow anywhere else. i forgot which level this one was too haha. F. im a mixture of being loud and quiet! around people i dont know im usually quiet and avoid talking/interacting with people but if youre someone im comfortable with its hard to get me to even stop talking and i can get accidentally pretty loud xD G. usually avoider? i think? if im alone at home i seek sensory input but i avoid unexpected/uncontrolled noise or overwhelming feeling textures a lot H. lots!!!! i love big sweaters, shirts, pants, stuff like that! sometimes stuff like skinny jeans or leggings is okay but not too tight. same with shirts. i end up feeling really uncomfortable in tight clothes I. honestly i dont get many autistic related accomodations from people since im not diagnosed and im not out to most people.. but sometimes my mom will give me apples in my lunch but when she does she peel s the skins off of the slices because she knows i cant stand the texture of the skins. she is so kind :) J. https://youtu.be/rUEVjLvO6FA this video of me when i was about 11? very much me very much an autie child... if u watch it u can tell i clearly havent changed much hahaha K. usually my fav sensory outfit is about what im wearing now, except im wearing not as comfortable tightish pants also my shirt isnt as comfortable but i wore it bc its a pokemon shirt... so thats good. but my hoodie rn is a Good L. when i was little i always kinda thought they looked like hamster paws but i didnt really call them that? i used to do that with my hands bc my friend did it too but my mom stopped me lol. now i like raptor hands and kitty hands thats rlly good M. i always loved imitating animal noises, especially cats! i love meowing at my cat back when she does it :P also this isnt Animal mannerisms, but my mom said i used to try to make facial expressions and talk like i was a cartoon character which is still kinda how i see myslef haha! also i used to pretend i was pikachu even if i was just alone also one day i only talked to my mom in pikachu speak (pika pika!) N. i used to love mac and cheese but Only the kraft kind with the skinny noodles, i would not eat any other shape of noodles haha. also i went through a phase where i wouldnt eat anything with melted cheddar on it (which is weird bc now i love cheese) also one of my favorite foods in the whole world when i was in 1st grade were these little mexican chocolate cake treats they had jelly in them and my friend roberto used to give me them at lunch i wanted them all the time!! i tried looking up the name of them i found buba lubas and they were rlly similar but i dont think it was exactly those O. now i dont rlly? have "same foods" mostly because im less picky now and i will eat most things... but i think anything with dairy is kind of a comforting constant, like if we have rice and curry or soup or smth i always put sour cream/greek yogurt/ranch in it otherwise it feels like a chore to eat lmao? P. already answered!! Q. time for my own question!!! for my autie followers: did u guys ever have stuffed animals/toys you really loved or love now? u should share abt ur favorite toy in the replies!! infodumping is fun, feel free to tell me abt ur favorite pal as much as u want my dudes thank u thwomp for the ask!!! i spent so much time answering this it was a lot of fun :3

#my posts #long post #asd #actuallyautistic #i rlly rlly hope mobile doesnt mess up the formatting!!!!! id have to wait to fix it :s