#this is a promise i made to myself 4 years ago or so

[imaginesmai]

Right around the corner (3) - Azriel

LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN if you've been here for a while now, you can expect this part. If not, may I present myself - hi, I'm Mai and I'm an angst queen bitch. Fourth part already on the way, don't worry!

(1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

Plot: the turth comes out, but in a way Azriel didn't expect.

Warnings: prepare tissues.

Azriel had taken his time to process the words, and in the meanwhile, he had received so many notes from his family that he had his hands full of small paper balls.

There were notes from Feyre updating him of the screaming match between Cassian and Rhysand, long texts from Mor promising him the house was a safe place for you and that he better hurry to bring you out. Even Amren had written a brief ‘I knew it, boy’ that had him more worried than before.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t want you to meet them. He loved his family like nothing else, and knew they would only be supportive and kind to his new status. Him being mated or not didn’t change the way they saw him, but part of him – the part that had felt rejection from his mother and his blood-family, was scared.

Azriel ended up sitting in the kitchen counter in front of you with a frown and a growing headache. Even though it was late and you had had a long day, you instantly noticed his mood.

“What’s wrong?”

It wasn’t unusual for Azriel to go quiet in your presence. You had learned by then that it didn’t mean you did something wrong. Most of the times, it was his insecurities popping up randomly in his mind, the troubles of the day dragging him away from you.

And through the years, you had learned that there was nothing else to do but to stay close to him and remind him that he was there. Right with you, and that you loved him.

Still, as you stared at him that night, you noticed it wasn’t the usual frown. He snuck glances at you and moved from the couch, where he was banned, to the kitchen. You left the bowl aside and stood in front of him, one arm extended so he could hold your hand.

“How do you know Feyre?” he asked, not taking your hand.

“Feyre as… the high lady?”

“Yeah. You greeted her the other day. You two know each other?”

“Guess so. She has her art study right in front of my bakery, haven’t you noticed?” you answered, not understanding the nature of the question. “When she moved in, I baked her a welcome to the neighborhood pie and she has actually painted two of the pictures I hang on the wall”

“Feyre painted pictures for you?” Azriel raised an eyebrow. “Are you two friends?”

“Well, not friends per say, but we know each other. That’s what usually happens when you work in front of someone else’s work” you shrugged, you open hand still empty. “Why?”

“I didn’t know you knew her”

“Should you know I know her? For any specific reason?”

“It would have been nice to know you know my high lady. My brother’s mate”

“Now you know. What’s with all this ‘you know I know’? Why does it matter?”

You didn’t understand why but there was an annoyed edge on his voice that you didn’t like. As a morning person, you usually went to bed early, and any minute past midnight was a minute you were supposed to be asleep. No matter how nice it was to spend time with Azriel and how good he had made you feel an hour ago, now you were annoyed.

The male stared at you, still not answering your silent call for his hand. One of his many shadows crossed the table and jumped at the chance of tangling between your fingers. That would have been enough to make you laugh any other day.

That night, you just stared at each other.

“Az, why are you so – “

“Because you should have told me, Y/N” he cut you off. “You know how important my family is to me, and I think it’s fair to ask that if you know any of them you should tell me. So I’m prepared for this”

“What’s this exactly? Late night discoveries about my neighbors?”

Azriel was quiet for a moment, frustration clear in his features. It was a stupid argument over a stupid situation, and Azriel being on his underwear and you only on his t-shirt without panties didn’t make it any less stupid. You rarely argued, and when you did, it was you who had the pointless argument and Azriel the calm one.

His shadows moved behind the couch and dumped in front of you a bunch of papers. They were all wrinkled and Azriel didn’t have time to hide them or think about how to approach the situation before a new one popped out of thin air. It landed next to your open hand, his shadow catching it and unfolding the content.

Does she eat cereal straight from the box? Is it why you’re hiding her?

You didn’t need to think hard to know it was talking about you, and who the note belonged to. In the past, Rhysand had sent notes to Azriel while you were having a shower together, in bed together, and one had even appeared inside your oven while he was helping you around.

“Feyre told them about you” Azriel explained, having read the note upside down. “And because I didn’t know you knew her, now they are deeply offended and want to meet you”

It took you a while to make sense to his words, because you couldn’t find the problem past you not telling him about Feyre. Quickly, you read some of the notes where Cassian threatened Azriel and Rhysand demanded his presence. They were friendly notes, no harm in them. Still, you couldn’t understand the utter sadness until you realized the meaning behind his annoyance.

Finally, you pulled your hand back to your side, not with little resistance from the shadow. You must have opened the bond channel because Azriel frowned, hit with sadness instead of the usual love.

The first note, where Rhysand explained that Feyre had told him, was what brought it all together.

“You haven’t told them you have a mate”

It occurred to you that you had believed it done with no proofs. You didn’t mind Azriel being at your house, living in your apartment. You didn’t mind having separate Starfall and lives. You didn’t mind either when he left for a family dinner and kissed you goodbye, because you understood his need of privacy, of having something that was just his.

What you didn’t understand until that moment that he hadn’t even told them you existed. And through all the reasons that ran to your mind at his silence, you couldn’t pick just one.

“It’s not that they don’t know me. They don’t know you’re mated”

“You agreed when I said I need to take things slowly. That I needed time” he blurted out suddenly, your sadness making space for his annoyance. “The bond was a surprise for me. I didn’t want to rush things”

“Azriel it’s been six years. Six! It’s not a casual fling or a one-night stand” you tried to voice your hurt, your sadness. “It’s not the same not meeting them that being a secret”

“It’s not like I keep you a secret. They haven’t asked and I haven’t – “

“Because you haven’t told them! What – How do you explain the days you spend here? And the… I – Azriel, we’ve been dating for six years and they haven’t asked?”

“They’re used to me sneaking around”

“For months?” you chuckled. “We were locked here for months after we mated. How did you explain that?”

His words were background noise because, above his absences, there was something you realized they should have noticed. Something anyone noticed from mated pairs as soon as they left the house. White noise filled your ears as he tried to excuse himself by talking about missions.

About your safety, about the worry of something happening to you if they discovered you were his mate.

Azriel blurred in front of you as realization hit you and tears filled your eyes. You could barely hold it together as you spoke.

“You’ve been hiding the mating bond” your breath hitched, because if there was something more important than your bakery, it was your bond. “They should have smelt it. But you’ve been hiding it”

“I didn’t hide it, please, don’t say it like that” his voice broke at the end, willing you to listen to him.

“Right. Because you can’t hide the bond from them unless you don’t accept it” you saw the moment your words hit him, the guilt in the way his shadows almost clouded your vision and his wings flared. “You didn’t accept the bond”

Azriel didn’t answer and, worse than any other betrayal or pain, it broke your heart. You remembered offering him the lemon pie, him tearing up and eating. Accepting the bond was an individual decision, one he should have made years ago – just like you did.

You still shared it; you still were mates. The only difference was that, while you proudly loved him and adored each part of his body and soul, he had rejected your smell on him, your imprint on his own.

An invisible hand cut off your air supply and your breath hitched. You covered your mouth with your hand and muffled the sob, but he felt the exact moment your heart broke. Even if he didn’t show it to the world, he could still feel you. Your feelings, your essence. His own eyes teared up and now he extended his hand forward.

A silent invitation, the same you had given him so many times when he was in need of comfort, of love.

But that time, you didn’t reach forward nor acknowledge the shadows that tried to pull you closer to him.

“Get out”

“Darling”

“Get out” you pointed a shaky finger towards the door.

“Y/N, please. It’s not what you’re thinking” he tried to explain, his voice broken by his sorrow. “I accepted the bond. I just – “

“Get the fuck out now!”

The bowl that you had been filling with lettuce, salmon and other vegetables flew from the desk to where he was standing. His shadows, by their own consciousness or his master’s, didn’t stop it as it crashed against his chest. It spilled all over his naked chest, and before he could clean it, there was another tray with grilled pork on your hand.

Azriel’s last look to you was of pure despair and sorrow. He winnowed away before the second tray could hit him, leaving you with his shadows already cleaning up the mess.

As soon as he was out of sight, you fell down to your knees and sobbed.

-

He didn’t have a plan, and when he winnowed away, the last thing on his mind was the sound of your heart breaking. There was no way he would go to his house and face his family, not when he wasn’t even sure what had happened in your apartment. Couldn’t start to comprehend the pain he had caused you and how much he hated himself for it.

So, without planning to, he ended up in the cabin.

The old wooden walls and ceiling greeted him, different from the ones he remembered from his past. Feyre had added drawings everywhere, there were clothes scattered around, and food that was still edible.

No matter how familiar the sight was, it offered him no comfort.

Azriel dragged his wings through the floor and sat on the couch. Propping his elbows on his knees, he hid his face as the first tear rolled down. Followed by many more.

He replayed your hurt voice once more, your face. It hadn’t been his intention to reject the bond, not really. But he hadn’t run away from it.

It took him two weeks of uncertainty to know that he hadn’t taken it the way you had. While you radiated with his scent, people didn’t ask him. He walked past Cassian during training and his friend just teased him for being disappeared for a month. Rhysand commented about having to report to him every now and then, and Amren didn’t even acknowledge his presence.

That was how he discovered that he had to accept his part of the mating process. He had to be proud, to want it, in order to complete it.

But you had been so happy, so full of joy and love, that Azriel had feared that telling you about it would make you sad. Eventually, he had learned how he should have done it – but at that moment, he didn’t know. Besides, he could still sneak whenever he wanted to without explanations. So he hadn’t said anything.

The first year rolled by, and he spent a good amount of days panicking about how to deal with the situation. The second year passed and you didn’t ask about it, neither did his family. By the fourth year, he had almost forgotten about it.

Azriel’s loud sob broke the silence of the cabin. His chest contracted and his body shock. It was different from any type of suffering, of pain, he had ever felt. He could still feel the echo of your own through the bond, could hear your cries in the distance.

In the lonely cabin, under the moon light, the shadowsinger sobbed and cried until his voice was raw. He was angry at himself, at his past and his traumas, even angry at you. Because now that he knew what it felt to be complete, to be happy and safe in someone’s love, he couldn’t bear the thought of not having it.

His body gravitated to the side and he curled himself in a ball, still in his underwear. It reminded him of when he was a kid and would try to hide himself in the dark cell, cowering in his fear and desperation.

As if he was a kid all over again, Azriel let his wings cover his body and cried. Cried until he couldn’t remember his name, until he was begging the Cauldron to turn back time and let him accept the bond. Carry you on his arm around Velaris and don’t let the fear take control of his life.

He felt like punching a hole through the wall. Like flying thousand feet up and letting go in free fall. Maybe get into a bar fight and let everything out. But his body was anchored to that couch, to that pain. Azriel pressed his closed fists into his chest, trying to relief some of the pressure.

While he wondered if that was what having his heart ripped from his chest fell, he forgot to keep his mental shields up.

Letting Rhysand in.

-

The house of wind had been chaos for a few hours.

Rhysand had tried to manage the situation by himself, wide awake in bed while processing Feyre’s words. He willed himself to sleep, to rest and leave the pondering for the morning. But when he tried to close his eyes, he could see Azriel covered in blood and killing an entire camp because an illegal wing clipping. He could notice the faint, new smell in the house that he hadn’t noticed.

If he had his eyes open, he couldn’t help but look at Nyx’s new toy.

So, Rhysand had woken up Cassian, after Azriel hadn’t answered his notes. And Cassian had been mad. Angry, furious, raging. The general had talked nonsense about berries for a while and then he begged Rhysand to wake up Feyre and find Azriel to interrogate them.

And, who was the high lord to deny a late-night gossiping session?

Feyre had been mad but she had told them that Azriel had a mate that worked in front of her art studio, in a bakery. That you were nice and cheerful, that you had been mated for six years.

That was when Cassian lost it and woke up the whole house.

Now, all the members of the inner circle had gathered in the council room with their pajamas on.

“Maybe it’s not true. Feyre, you might have had imagined it”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Feyre raised her eyebrows at Cassian.

“I’m just saying he would have told me! We’re brothers. And we don’t keep secrets in this house. Never.”

“You don’t keep secrets” Amren cut him off, not looking at him. “Your bean brain is too simple to keep any type of secrets from us, but that doesn’t mean all of us are exhibitionist”

“I’m not – “

“You are an exhibitionist. You announce everything, Cas. Even a fart” Mor corrected him before he could defend himself.

“Sorry for being kind enough to not keep secrets from my family” he frowned, turning to look at Rhys. “You keep secrets from me?”

“I don’t keep secrets from you” Rhys assured him, half a smile.

“He threw the sword you gifted Nyx for his birth and told you Bryaxis took it so you wouldn’t look for it”

Feyre looked at her mate with a raised eyebrow, daring him to say anything else. With a wide-awake Nyx in her arms, she looked at threatening as the Hybern army. She had yet to talk to him privately, but Rhysand knew he was up for a long talk. So he bit his lip and turned to Cassian. Who, of course, looked completely broken and defeated.

The rest of the group was silent, barely keeping their smiles to themselves. Even Nesta, who had a hand on his shoulder, was looking at Feyre with approval. Cassian stared at Rhysand for a long second before he talked.

“It was a nice sword”

“For a teenager, maybe. For a baby, not” Feyre answered again. “Weren’t you just talking about Azriel’s betrayal and secrets?”

“I, for one, knew he was hiding something” Amren commented for the third time. “Just saying I noticed. And you didn’t”

“Not all of us are creeps that stare and don’t talk. We have social lives to take care of” Mor said.

“Some of you do talk. Maybe too much”

Rhysand tuned out Amren and Mor argument when he felt a crack through Azriel’s mental barriers. He had been tugging at them softly to know where his brother was. Feyre had talked him out of the idea of barging in uninvited and demanding answers – at least, he had talked Amren and Mor out of it. Rhysand and Cassian were still unconvinced.

That was why he had kept a talon poking at his mental barriers since the argument started, thinking it wouldn’t be successful.

But then, Azriel opened it unconsciously and Rhysand brought a hand up to his chest.

Everyone fell quiet as the high lord scrunched his eyebrows and pressed his lips together, not ready for the wave of emotions and pain Azriel was feeling at the moment.

Feyre’s hand was instantly on him, Nyx looking up to his father with a pout that would surely turn into a crying session soon. Before the baby could start crying or any of his friends could ask him about it, Rhysand accepted Feyre’s help and got up from his chair.

“He’s at the cabin” he announced, already summoning his darkness to swallow Cassian and him there. “We’ll keep you updated”

Nyx’s loud cry was the last thing they heard as they winnowed away. And the first one they heard from the cabin, was Azriel’s broken one.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Right around the corner taglist:

@lesliemurillo @impossibelle @polli05927 @florencemtrash @going-through-shit @minakay @setayeshmohseni @torchbearerkyle @esposadomd @amysangel @kennedy-brooke @originalcrusadetrash @luvmoo @historygeekqueen @marriedtolike18fictionalmen @wallacewillow0773638 @tothestarsandwhateverend @kristalhi @knmendiola @nikt-wazny-y

#imaginemai #imaginesmai #acotar #acotar imagine #acotar one shot #acotar fic #acotar fanfic #acotar x reader #acotar x your #acotar x you #cassian #rhysand #feyre #mor #amren #azriel #azriel imagine #azriel one shot #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel fic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel actoar #shadowsinger #azriel fanfic #imagines mai #imagine mai #x reader #one shot #fic

[wynsummers]

i've been thinking about the whole "friction in his jeans" thing a lot lately, and while it is certainly one of the more iconic instances of the lyric in the CD booklet being different from the actual song, it is far from the only one. on top of that, there are quite a few lyrics that play with double meanings that only become clear when they're written out.

so, i present a collection of every lyric in the fob CD booklets that differ from the final version, punctuation and double meanings that aren't noticeable unless the song is written out, and any other interesting details i find in the process, or a really long post of me cornplating about fob:

disclaimer that if the difference is small enough/doesn't change the meaning of the line i won't include it because that would take me years (for example, the book says "light that smoke for giving up on me" and patrick says "yeah, one for giving up on me" but literally who cares that changes nothing. everything i include here is relevant, i think)

follow-up disclaimer that there are a bunch of fucking typos in every single one of these books because these boys never proofread anything but unless i think it's significant in some way i probably will skip it

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE:

tell that mick:

"I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle - I confess / now ash yourself out on the insides, when I said I loved you I swear I lied"

grand theft autumn:

"someday i'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you... but for the meantime i'll sport my brand new fashion of waking up with my clothes on at 4:00 in the afternoon"

saturday:

"pete and i said goodbye to astoria with promise and precision and mess of youthful innocence"

(most of these are just silly but this one fucking hurts)

sending postcards:

"fake it like you matter - cause that's the biggest secret you have to keep"

chicago is so two years ago:

"that means that I believed every single lie you said (and learned from the best)"

"cause every pain of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains i went through to avoid you / and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention i still hate you" (pain of glass instead of pane of glass - i think this is supposed to be a parallel. that or pete just misspelled pane)

patron saint:

"I'm holding out and I'm holding on to every letter and every grudge"

*flashes forward 20 years to hmlag*

anyway

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE:

our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued:

"we're good friends only when you're on your knees"

sugar:

the icon, the legend

"don't mind me, i'm watching you two from the closet wishing to be the friction in his jeans" 🎉🏳️‍🌈

dark alley:

"joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of 'just friends'"

"I'm hopelessly hopeful that you're just hopeless enough"

champagne for my real friends, real pain for my shrimp friends:

"you steer away in a rearview mirror, make my head swim"

i slept with someone in fob:

"someone old, no one new / always borrowed, always you"

THIS ONE!! THIS FUCKING ONE [CAR CRASH] [SIRENS]

ahem. anyway

sixteen candles:

"i confess, i'm just messed up / dropping 'i'm sorrys' like you're still around"

XO:

"to hands"

(that's it. no "between legs, and whatever it takes" just hands. just fuckin. to hands)

"to hotel stares/stairs" (wordplay!! to clarify it literally says "stares/stairs" in the book)

"choose awe or sympathy"

also in the last verse it says 'to the "love"' with the quotes which is just kinda funny

INFINITY ON HIGH:

this ain't a scene:

"crashing not like hips or hearts"

i'm like a lawyer:

"i only keep myself this sick in the head cause i know how the words get you (off)"

"collect the bad habits that you couldn't bare to keep" (idk this one might just be a typo)

hum hallelujah:

similarly, this might also be a typo, but "versus" is spelled "verses"

(after) life:

ok. ok. hear me out. this is the cornplatiest i have ever been. but on genius it says "death's in a double bed"

and on the lyric book it says "deaths in a double bed"

that changes everything!!! (not really, i know) it's not death as a concept or figure or whatever it's deaths. as in multiple people dying. aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhh

moving on

carpal tunnel:

"we take the sip from life's lush lips"

the line "we might've started singing just a little soon" isn't listed, it's just the goodbye line twice

"but i'm just tired yawns for fawns"

you're crashing:

"the cause, the kid, the charm, and the curse"

ginasfs:

"lips pressed this close to mine"

"but the prince of this failing empire knows" (hhhnnnggggggghhh)

"i've already given up on myself once but the third time is the charm" that's not how numbers work pete <3

"just kind of figured on not figuring myself out"

FOLIE A DEUX:

folie a deux doesn't have a lyric book. just portraits of the boys with empty white pages that have their names written on them. my poor beautiful masterpiece

BELIEVERS NEVER DIE VOL. 1:

fnowae:

not a lyric but for some reason the whole fuckin song is in quotes

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL:

the phoenix:

another punctuation thing but instead of "hope to die" it's "hope-to-dies"

"you're wearing our vintage misery"

alone together:

"my heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broke in" instead of "broken" (i love double meanings!! i love wordplay!! i love pete wentz!!)

where did the party go:

"i will appear to you if you make yourself shake fast enough"

the mighty fall:

the lyric book straight up doesn't have big sean's part 💔

rat a tat:

at the end there's this "talk less / mean more / let's be electric / like we were before" that i have literally never heard so i'm assuming it's a neat little cut lyric

save rock and roll:

"i will save the songs / the songs we're singing"

AMERICAN BEAUTY / AMERICAN PSYCHO:

irresistible:

"coming in announced" this one. this one's just a typo. come on boys it's been 12 years at this point read the books more than once

"i just dragged my nails on the tile / i just follow your scent" ?? idk

"this will not be a battle"

ab/ap:

for some fucking reason it just says "she's an american beauty" three times at the start of the song 😭

"and as we're drifting off to sleep" isn't in there, it just says "and all those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep"

the kids aren't alright:

indulge me once more, reader. i am cornplating again

instead of "former heroes who quit too late and just wanna fill up their trophy case again" it's "wanted to" do you understand why that makes me insane

also they have it as "will put your curse in reverse" instead of "we" which could be a typo but could also be a neat little change

uma thurman:

"you cut me deep like uma thurman"

jet pack blues:

"i'm the kind that can turn june to september / the last one that you'll ever remember"

"between these two white highway signs"

immortals:

"i try to picture you without me but i can't"

M A N I A:

hold me tight or don't:

the line "i'm pretty sure that this isn't how our story ends" isn't included

wilson:

"i know it's just a number but to me you're the 8th wonder"

sunshine riptide:

they didn't include any of burna boy's lines 😒

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST:

smfs doesn't have any lyric changes that i noticed, just the usual typos.

update: future emma here, upon further contemplation I have decided to add the line "I'd never go, I just want to be invited" since the first verse definitely says "I'll" (thank you sugarweregoinin and foliejpg for inspiring this revelation)

and there we have it! if you're insane patient enough to have made it until the end, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed! if there are any i missed/any in CDs that i don't have please let me know i find these so fascinating (if you couldn't tell). i just love getting glimpses into their writing process and seeing how the songs we know and love evolve before they get to us. i might also do a post about how spotify/genius gets a bunch of their lyrics wrong because it pisses me off but this is all for now, good day/night!

#fall out boy #fob #i can't believe i spent four hours on this #take this to your grave #from under the cork tree #infinity on high #folie a deux #save rock and roll #american beauty/american psycho #mania #so much (for) stardust #patrick stump #pete wentz #joe trohman #andy hurley

[nipuni]

Time for an old school blog post, Hello!

Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊

Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.

Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.

This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!

Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!

On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.

Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!

We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.

Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂

OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!

Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!

Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!

#personal #nips photos #DW report #of sorts tho I should swap to DT report at this point lmao #I may need a blogging tag so let's just do #Nips blogs #that should suffice

[mrsjellymunson]

S.A.N.T.A. BABY

[A.KA. Stupid And Nasty Tinsel-Related Activities]

A Festive 5+1 Eddie Munson Fic

Summary: 5+1. Five times reader embarrasses herself in front of Eddie, and one time she doesn’t.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

WC: ~10.5k (oops)

CW: 🔞 18+ MDNI!, SMUT, NSFW. Strangers to sort-of-enemies to lovers. Drinking, smoking, Eddie and reader call each other nicknames, loads of embarrassing situations, swearing, suggestive language, implied birth control, description of and discussion about a sex toy, flagrant and unnecessary use of the number 69, reader has a tattoo but it’s not essential to the story so you can ignore it if you want, bondage fantasy involving fairy lights, lap riding/dry humping, Eddie has tattoos and intimate piercings, fingering, unprotected p-in-v (always wrap it irl!), aftercare, fluff, the Upside Down hasn’t happened. I imagine reader & Eddie to be mid-late 20s and it might be the 90s, but hopefully I left it ambiguous enough that you can choose. I tried to keep reader’s appearance neutral, though I’m still new at this and I may have missed things - let me know if you spot anything (likewise typos or missed tags, etc). The elf outfit in the pic is for costume illustration only and does not indicate reader’s ethnicity or appearance.

A/N: Written for @bettyfrommars’ & @allthingsjoeq’s festive prompt party (thank you, guys!); I decided to smoosh five prompts 6, 8, 12, 14 & 15 together to create… whateverthehellthismutantthingis 😆 It’s my first 5+1, and my first festive fic, please let me know how I did! 🎄 I’ve taken artistic license with the format - if I’ve understood it, it’s way too long for a standard 5+1, and I don’t think they usually have 4+k of unnecessary smut at the end (‘What do you mean, Kittie? Smut is always necessary!’). I couldn’t bring myself to cut it because I’m a deviant and to paraphrase the song, it’s my fic and I’ll add what I want to 😂 Enjoy! 🥂🍷🎁

Christmas was never your favourite time of year. You suppose that your early Christmasses were probably happy, but once your parents split and family politics came into play, the season just became less enjoyable all round. These days your mom and stepdad tended to use the extended break to visit your brother in California, and this year will be the third in a row that you’ve been left to your own devices. Not that you couldn’t go with them, but you just felt a little out of place and in the way, him with his scrapbook-perfect family and kids, you with your alternative interests and a dress sense that your stepdad once described as, “Far too much black for a family dinner. We’re not the Addams Family, you know”.

This year, though, you were optimistic. It’s your first year away at college in Indianapolis, and your roommate, Robin, who you get on outrageously well with, has invited you to spend the holidays not too far away in her home town, Hawkins.

Plus, Robin has taken it upon herself to, in her words, ‘“Christmas Carol the shit out of you”, after you’d told her about your disdain for the holiday season and that Santa stood for ‘Stupid And Nasty Tinsel-related Activities’. She’d declared that this year you’d have the “Best. Christmas. EVERRR!”, and she’s making good on it, despite the promise being made months ago when you were both soaked in tequila at the end of orientation week.

It’s going fairly well so far. You’ve met a couple of Robin’s friends, a nice girl called Nancy and Robin’s ex Vickie, and together you’ve had a shopping trip, a lunch out and a girls’ night in. You’re optimistic that the rest of her friends will be just as friendly and welcoming. Next on the ‘Best Christmas Ever’ agenda? Seeing a local band at a local bar…

“Honestly, they’re, like, really, really good!”

“Really, Robs? This band that your friends started in high school are so good that they’re still playing dive bars in their home town?”

The bar is dingy and grubby, but it’s packed, Robin insisting it’s because the band is great, but you suspect it has more to do with the cheap beer prices.

You’re not averse to live entertainment, you just prefer places with a bit more space. More ambience, less… sweat? Ambiguous stickiness??

Half a beer in, you make the excuse that you need some air, not admitting you’re actually hoping to find someone to bum a cigarette off outside, feeling your most recent attempt at quitting is already on seriously shaky ground.

There’s already a couple of guys around the side of the building when you exit the front door, one in a torn flannel and another, his back to you, in a heavier-looking jacket.

You recognise Flannel as the bartender, a lanky, but not unattractive, somewhat worried-looking guy with a grungy haircut and ripped Clash t-shirt, who’s just finishing his cigarette and flicking it to the floor. As he leaves to go back inside he offers a cheery half-salute to his smoking partner and a, “See you inside, dude.” You assume the other guy must be a regular, and from the subtle glimpses you get as he flicks his ash, he’s about halfway through his cigarette.

Whilst he’s not looking you sneakily take in the view (your excuse being that you are a tourist here, after all). He’s tall, dressed all in black, with broad shoulders draped in worn-in black leather, long dark curls falling about them. You can’t determine the exact colour in the poor lighting of the bar’s neon sign, but they look shiny and well cared for, rather than lank and grimy like so many of your college buddies seem to think is the fashionable way to do it these days (ugh).

Trailing your eyes down his back, you see the hem of his jacket half-obscures a black leather belt that’s just visible sitting on his slim hips. It’s studded with silver rivets and adorned with a variety of draping silver chains that jingle at the slightest movement.

Well-fitting, dark black jeans cover his legs, and a scruffy pair of heavy black combat boots complete the look. They're unlaced at the top and casually flare out, his jeans crumpling, effortlessly stylishly, in the tops.

The belt chains catch your attention again as he shifts from one foot to the other, making them swing, drawing your eyes to the seat of his jeans and showcasing a cute, tight, rounded pair of butto-oh! He’s turning around! Shit, shit, okay, be cool, and definitely don’t look like you were just checking out his ass…

He looks at you with surprise, he obviously hadn’t heard you come out. He’s taken slightly aback, but manages to greet you with a quick, “Hey.”

You reply, eloquently, “Hey.”

Smooth.

Leather Jacket gets out his lighter.

“You, uh, smokin’?”

“I was kinda hoping to bum one, actually. I’m supposed to be quitting, but you know how it is when you get around bars and booze.”

You shrug a little, suddenly feeling sheepish, and more than a little selfish when you realise your presumption.

“Oh yeah, I sure do. Think I’ve tried quitting about, what, five times now?”

He chuckles a little, shaking a stick out of the packet he retrieves from inside his jacket, offering it to you.

“You need a light?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, thanks.”

He leans in to spark his lighter, and you’re briefly engulfed by the scent of him. Old leather, hints of a musky, spicy cologne, whiskey, clean sweat, and, of course, cigarette smoke. It feels like a warm hug, but something else too, something more primal, enticing.

You notice his hands as he holds his lighter close to your face. They’re big, strong-looking and veined, his fingers adorned with chunky silver rings that glint and twinkle in the faint neon glow.

It all catches you off guard. You pull back quickly once your cigarette is lit, not ready to explore that kind of sensation right now.

He’s turned sideways to you again, leaning his back against the side wall of the bar. He smirks in your direction, a dimple popping in the cheek nearest to you, and you feel a little heat rise up your neck.

His gaze flows over your form, taking you in from top to bottom. Is he checking you out?

“I, uh, I like your boots.” He nods down towards your feet, flicking a little ash from his cigarette off to the side furthest from you.

You automatically glance down, like some kind of idiot who didn’t dress themselves less than an hour ago.

Sheesh, way to make an impression on the locals…

“Oh, thanks!”

You smile, genuinely pleased. You’re wearing your favourite pair, laced and buckled black leather New Rocks with a chunky, steel-coloured metal heel. You know the style doesn’t have universal appeal, which is of course part of the reason you love them, but it’s nice to have your taste appreciated by someone as cu- erm, as friendly as he is.

“I haven’t seen you around here before. You new in town or sumthin’?”

“Yeah, kinda passing through, I guess. I’m just here for the holidays, hookin’ up with a friend.”

He nods in acknowledgment, curls bouncing softly around his face.

You continue, “Apparently I’ve been promised the ‘best Christmas ever’, and they think they’re going to achieve that by bringing me to this divey bar to see some schoolfriend in a lame-ass metal cover band. I mean, god, no offence, but this town is hardly Seattle. I can’t imagine they’re gonna be Nirvana-quality, right?”

The guy snorts through his nose and then genuinely laughs. “Yeah, they probably are shit. Towns like this are full of wannabe rockstars straight outta high school, y’know?” You don’t notice how his lips purse as he suppresses a grin, as he continues, “Singers are the worst, always such assholes. Second only to guitarists, of course.”

You answer with an enthusiastic, “I know, right?!”, thinking back to the musicians you’ve dated since high school and how they were all convinced they were destined to be the next Eddie Van Halen or Steven Tyler. Thinking of a couple of guys in particular as you take a drag of your cigarette, as you exhale you mutter, “Christ, guitarists really are the pits.”

He snorts, smiling again, then drops his finished cigarette to the ground, crushing it out with the sole of his heavy boot. “At least with all their equipment and shit it makes them easy to spot.”

You gift him a smile and a small nod. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

“I’m heading back inside. Maybe I’ll see you later?” He quirks an eyebrow at his last comment.

“Yeah, maybe.” As he moves to open the door you add, ”Hey, thanks for the smoke!”

He turns back to you, his distractingly broad grin now fully on display, half-shouting back as he moves through the doorway into the bustling interior, “No problem, all you have to do is ask. I’ll see you later, Boots!”

You finish your smoke and get inside just in time to get to your seat, a tall stool opposite Robin around a high table, your back to the stage, as the band start up.

There’s a few complicated beats from the drums as the guy behind them warms up, and the bass and rhythm guitars thrum a few notes, garnering whistles and cheers from the crowd.

You wait for the cliché of the singer coming up to the mic and introducing the band, but what you actually hear is a low, self-assured, somewhat recognisable voice, that’s both commanding and sultry, that drawls, “You know who we are.”

Suddenly there’s a burst of impressive guitar work and drums, and the crowd erupts as the room is saturated with the opening chords to Black Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs’.

You’re impressed, and intrigued. This isn’t the ‘dodgy 80’s covers schoolkid band’ you were expecting. These guys sound… accomplished.

You turn on your stool, and notice a subtly familiar form at the mic. Less bulky as he’s no longer wearing the leather jacket, a ripped band tee now showing off his pale arms and clavicles, and black ink that you can’t make out adorning solid biceps and veined forearms. Guitar in hand, confident, brash, cute. Chains dangling from a studded belt, silver rings glinting, hair flying as he flicks his head, commanding the stage, readying himself to sing the first lines…

Oh shit…

The band’s cover of ‘War Pigs’ is faster than the original, and they give it their own twist, making it heavier and grittier. After the (irritatingly brilliant) guitar solo Leather Jacket Band Guy even throws in a few lines from Deck The Halls, the audience going wild, and joining in enthusiastically when the ‘Oh Lord yeah’ is replaced with a ‘Fa-la-la’.

The rest of their set is a mix of covers and originals, all in a similar, heavy style, and as they finish to a rapturous throng you realise, flustered, that you couldn’t tear your eyes from the stage the whole time. Robin totally notices. You even let her get in a cheery, “Told ya so!”, as you reluctantly admit they weren’t completely terrible.

You spot the frontman (singer and guitarist, cue internal facepalm) jump down off the low stage, and you feel a little uneasy as you see him start heading in your direction.

You’re at peak embarrassment and can’t bear the thought of having to face him after what you said outside. You hadn’t even heard them play and you dissed the fuck out of them, him specifically. What makes it worse is that they were actually really good. The last thing you need is to have that thrown back in your face, in front of Robin, by their cocky lead guy.

Suddenly you want Spontaneous Human Combustion to be a real thing, turn you to ash so your only presence would be scuffed up on those heavy, unlaced combat boots, going unnoticed and carried out on everyone’s soles into the chilly night. But science and physics are apparently not willing to defy themselves for you this evening. Bastards.

Quickly, you get off your stool, mumbling something about needing the bathroom, and head off in a random direction, in your haste to escape not even asking where it is.

You chance a glance over one shoulder. Oh god, he’s heading straight for you…

As you stumble about in the crowd, you notice a free seat next to a guy at the bar. You hardly register that his coiffed hair and polo shirt don’t quite fit the vibe of the place, so desperate are you to build an alternative narrative that doesn’t involve the guy whose band you just dissed coming to talk to you. You’d said you were visiting a friend, he’s not to know it wasn’t a boyfriend, right? If he sees you with someone he’ll back off and leave you alone, right?? Surely he wouldn’t confront you with a potential Defending Your Honour™️ fight on the table. Right???

So, that’s the plan.

A really good, foolproof one? Um, no. But Band Guy is moving through the crowd, and you’ve gotta do something, fast.

You reach the bar.

“Hey, could you do me a favour real quick? A creepy guy’s been hitting on me, and I need to give him the message that I’m not interested. If I buy you a drink, will you act like you’re my boyfriend for, like, the next 30 seconds?”

He turns to you, and you notice his features. Golden skin, chiselled jaw, stunning hazel eyes, hair to rival the hottest supermodels’, a scattering of moles that look like constellations. Goddamn, he’s pretty. What is it with this bar? Is everyone inside it cute? Why have you never been to Hawkins before??

You give him a pleading look, and tentatively hold out one hand towards where his is resting on his thigh, hoping he’ll take it.

“Well, for a sweet thing like you, how could I say no to that tempting double offer?”

He smiles then, full and beaming, and you almost slip off your stool. A warm palm comes to cup over yours, and you manage to blurt out an order to the barman, saying, “Two of whatever he’s having.”

Just then, Band Guy reaches you. You do your best to swoon at Polo Shirt as your drinks get delivered, lifting yours and clinking it against his with a, “Hey, sweetheart, thanks for bringing me here”.

“Oh, I didn’t realise you were here with someone tonight.”

“Yeah, this is the friend I was telling you about. We’re spending the holidays together. Isn’t that right, sweets?”

Band Guy purses his lips, you hope in consternation, but it’s whatever, you just want him to leave you alone to stew in your mortification.

He backs up half a step, saying, “Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it then.”

Success!

Just as you think your devious plan has worked, Band Guy turns to Polo Shirt, slaps his open palm against his shoulder a couple of times, and saunters off, with a, “Nice to see you, Steve-o. Just checkin’ you're wanting a lift back in the van with the guys, like usual?”

Oh. Oh god. They know each other?!

He turns away, smirking back briefly in your direction to fling a casual, “I’ll see you around, Boots”, before continuing his path to the other end of the bar. You see him greet Flannel with a high five followed by a bro handshake, the latter making exaggerated air guitar movements and clearly congratulating him on a great performance.

If cringing caused bodily trauma you’d be in the ER by now, most likely on life support. What are the chances of embarrassing yourself all to hell in front of a cute guy you’ve only just met, twice in one night?

Also, wait, you totally didn’t just admit that you find him cute. Nope. No siree. Nah. Niet. Definitely not.

Stupid Robin convinced you to take this stupid job in the stupid mall and now you’re stuck here smiling this stupid smile at all the stupid local kids in this stupid elf costume.

Stupid striped tights, stupid short skirt, stupid tight green tunic, stupid fluffy collar.

And yeah, okay, stupid self-induced hangover from stupid drinks last night thanks to stupid Robin’s stupid friends. Actually, they were all really nice, especially ‘Steve-o’ and the barman, Jonathon, neither of whom mentioned your embarrassing faux pas with Band Guy, which makes them total heroes in your book. Plus, Band Guy mercifully gave you a wide berth for the rest of the night by doing Band Stuff™️, so that was a win too.

At least the dress code for this gig stated ‘black footwear’, so you could wear your own boots. You’d never admit it out loud, but you think the combination of the red and white striped tights with your chunky, alternative boots actually looks kinda cute. It’s just as well, because you’d packed light (you and Robin joking that so long as you had your ”Pills and panties” you were good to go), and hadn’t brought any alternatives.

You’ve been at this for a couple of days already, beaming artificially at the kids as you try to corral them into some semblance of an organised line, and handing out stickers and treat bags for the ones who’ve seen Santa, putting your best singsong voice on as you ask for what feels like the millionth time, “So, what did you ask Santa for?”, and, “Have you been good this year?”

Your face has begun to ache with the effort of all the smiling, although the cheery mall Santa (a big, friendly guy called John? Jack?) takes up most of the slack, with a voice deep and gravelly enough to control even the worst-behaved little shits. You hope his day job uses it, it would be a shame for a voice like that to go to waste. He should probably be in sports, or acting, or law enforcement or something.

You can’t deny the money is coming in handy though. It’s reliably supporting your holiday booze habit, and you’ve even treated yourself to a couple of Christmas treats, some silver skull jewellery from a surprisingly well-stocked accessory shop, and something more, um, personal from the ‘specialist interest’ shop you’d found hidden away at the back of the mall’s upper level. The nice lady who worked there, Karen, even kindly offered to drop off your purchase at your staff locker later today.

You’re on the later shift, so Santa’s already here, and as you make your way out to the grotto area (which is essentially just a few old stage props surrounded by a few giant polystyrene candy canes; you surmise this might be one of the first years they’ve done this) you’re greeted by a predictable, “Ho ho ho!”. But today it’s a different voice than usual. Still deep, still booming, but not the one you’re used to.

As you round the glittery candy cane on the corner, the deep baritone gives way to a much higher, cheekier pitch.

“Ho, ho- hoooooly shiiit, I’d recognise those boots anywhere!”

Oh no… It can’t be…

“Heeey, Boots! I didn’t know you’d be one of my little helpers today!”

Even behind the fake beard you can see the smugness spread across his face.

You stop in your tracks, hands coming up to your face in a vain attempt to shield your embarrassed self from the impending, and, you’ll admit, completely justified, teasing.

Realising you can’t hide from it, you huff out a breath and amble over to him. He looks way too comfortable sitting on that ornate throne, like he’s used to such a position, somehow…

As you move closer you see that even beneath the tacky acrylic costuming, he still looks cute (damn him). He’s foregone the white wig and opted to display his own locks, chestnut curls cascading over his shoulders, and the white faux fur of his hat and beard create a subtle frame around his eyes. You observe their colour properly for the first time, and even in the harsh fluorescent lights of the mall they look like swirling pools of liquid cacao, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen anything quite like them before. They’re fixed on you as you walk to him.

You plonk down on a fabric-covered hay bale next to the throne. There’s no line of kids waiting as yet, and you’re relieved you can get this next part done without too much of an audience. Deep breath, pull off the bandaid, or whatever that stupid phrase is.

“Listen, about last night. I’m really sorry. I not only stole your smokes but also dissed your band before I’d even heard you, and that wasn’t cool. And that thing with Steve at the bar? God, you must think I’m such a loser. And, I know you probably couldn’t give two pebbly shits about what I think right now, but you guys are actually really good.”

He turns to you, looking down his nose and through his lashes at you.

“Hey, don’t sweat it, sweets. I did kinda bait you into that first part. And at the bar? That was… creative. I actually thought it was pretty funny.” Smirking, nodding and turning his face to the front again, he continues, “And for the record, we do play other places, not just this so-not-Seattle town.”

You risk a glance at him. The Santa suit is obviously too big for him, the collar wide enough to show off his pale throat for a moment before he turns back to you and the comically-fluffy beard obscures it again. You can see the outline of his taut, muscular thighs under the loose faux velvet of his pants, and his boots (those boots) are worn just like they were last night, unlaced at the top, casually stylish, the red fabric pooling around the calf and ankle. And to finish it off, there’s what appears to be a large throw cushion stuffed down his front.

It turns out he’s covering for (Jim!) Hopper, who’s apparently the local police chief (nailed it) and has been called out to check on some weird occurrences at an old research facility on the other side of town.

Band Guy Santa continues, sarcastically, “Pfft. Providing the town of Hawkins with security and safety instead of performing the frankly, essential, public service of dicking about in a Santa suit. Inconsiderate, right?”

“Yeah, totally”, you giggle.

“The organisers heard from Hop that I was somewhat… theatrical, so they asked me to fill in.”

You remember how theatrical he looked whilst on stage, and you feel your throat heat up, hoping he won’t notice you subtly pulling at your collar with a finger, or see the perspiration appearing on your décolletage.

“So, you may wreak your revenge now, sweetheart. I’m not exactly in a position to defend my sartorial choices right now, am I?”, he says as he gestures to himself, sweeping a palm up and down his garb. “Gimme your worst.”

You’d feel pretty bad if you laid into him now, not only considering your own current garb but especially with what you’d said last night outside the bar. However, he is giving you an opportunity to even the score for his manipulation, and it would be a shame not to take it. You decide upon a combination of cheekiness and diplomacy. (And not flirty. Definitely not flirty.)

“I dunno, that beard covers most of your face, which obviously does you some favours. But don’t do yourself down, you look… good in red.”

He swallows as you stand to move away from him, and you hardly realise that you’ve rendered him speechless, as you joke, poking at the obvious cushion by his middle,

“Although, I’m totally not buying this padding, you know,”

Suddenly a party of schoolchildren appears from nowhere, and before they get between you and you get too far away to hear, he stammers out, “Uh, I’m Eddie, by the way.”

You half-yell your own name back, adding with a smile,

“It’s nice to meet you. Have fun today, Santa.”

It’s late afternoon and Santa Eddie is on his regulation break. You’re doing your best to herd the over-sugared, post-school crowd into some kind of order, when Mrs Santa (a lovely lady called Claudia) calls your name and says you can go on your break now too, if you want, and to please tell Santa that he needs to get back here and start doling out Christmas wishes.

You jump at the chance for even just a few minutes away from the diminutive hoards (though you could listen to Erica, one kid you do like, diss commercialism and the ethics of lying to kids en masse all afternoon), and make your way to the locker room.

Eddie’s still there, sitting on the central bench, beard pulled down under his chin, and he appears to be holding a package in his hands, though from the look on his face you don’t think it was one he was expecting. As you move closer and peer into the box, you spy the contents, and a bright red, glittery shape becomes visible.

Oh god, no. No-no-noooo…

It’s the order you placed from the shop at the back of the mall, but Karen’s obviously dropped it off next to the wrong locker - Eddie’s is number 69 and yours is 96.

It’s a dildo (of course it is). A Christmas-themed, flexible, long, thick, glittery, red dildo, with a gold lamé ribbon tied artfully around the base.

Eddie’s face is a picture of surprise as he turns to look up at you, eyes and mouth wide and eyebrows practically disappearing into his hairline. He’s holding the packaging, your name visible on the wrapping, nixing any hope you’d had of feigning innocence and pretending you knew nothing about it.

“Uh, I think this is yours. I’m so sorry. I-it was left by my locker and I opened it assuming it was for me, and then I saw your name on it, but by then it was too late…”

He sees you slump down into the bench a few feet away from him, face in your hands. You don’t know him well, but you decide to let him get whatever he wants to say out of his system rather than potentially make everything worse by trying to get him to shut the hell up.

His tone is mocking, but not exactly mean, as he continues,

“It’s a pretty one, really. Y’know, festive. I admire your choice of aesthetics and commitment to the season.

But you know, Boots, if you wanted to feel special inside this Christmas, all you had to do was ask.

Wait, do you also have an Easter-themed one? Is it a rabbit?”

He’s turned to face you now, far too pleased with himself for that final quip. Arrogant bastard.

The tears come in a wave, and you fold in on yourself, trying to hide your face even more. The heat in your cheeks feels about the same temperature as the colour of that fucking dildo.

“Hey, hey. I was only kidding.” He scootches closer to you on the bench. ”Look, there’s nothing wrong with it. Everyone deserves pleasure, it’s healthy. And I get it, Boots, it can be hard for girls to find a guy who actually knows what the fuck they’re doing. And, maybe you don’t even want or need a guy, you just want some special time by yourself, right?”

There’s a short pause, like he could be considering his next choice of words.

“And anyway, I actually think it’s kinda hot…”

This surprises you. You’ve never met any guy who didn’t take the presence of your toy collection as a personal insult.

You risk a glance in his direction, hoping your wet and stinging eyes don’t look as red as they feel. “You really think so?”

“Oh yeah”, he responds, crossing his legs as subtly as he can, shielding his lap. “The one you chose? It’s… sophisticated. The glitter gives it a real nice touch. And,” he drops his voice a little, continuing in an almost-whisper, “I’d love to see what you do with it.” He clears his throat and looks away, finding a convenient patch of plain wall to focus his gaze upon.

Confused, upset, and unable to fathom exactly what’s going on (is this just banter? Or is he flirting? Wait, does he like you??) you grab the box from him and move to stuff it in your locker. Trying to hide the crack in your voice, you call over your shoulder, “Claudia says your break’s over and to get your jolly ass back out there, pronto.”

Oh shit… shitshitSHIT…

Stupid collar, stupid faux fur, stupid cheap zips! Goddammit!

You’re at your locker - the one that should’ve secretly contained your special Xmas gift to yourself - trying to get out of your stupid elf costume, but the zip won’t budge. The top of it is enmeshed amongst the stupid faux fur of your collar, and your frustrated, unsighted and fumbling ministrations appear to be making it worse.

You need help. An empathic soul to come to your aid and diligently untangle you from this costuming hell. But there’s only one other person here, and, even though your last encounter ended better than it could have, he’s still the last person you want to see right now.

Why tonight? Of all nights? How could this happen on the one night where the literal only person left in the entire fucking building is him??

You can only assume you’re on the real Santa’s shit list. Were you really that naughty this year?

Your brain rewards you with a brief, but telling, synopsis of your year so far: smoking blunts behind the library with Robin during study breaks, skinny dipping in a freezing lake on a dare, all that tequila, that brief foray in the back of a Camaro with that guy (Bobby? Billy?). Okay, you were no saint, but this? Come on…

Dejectedly, you drop your chin to your chest and let out a frustrated huff.

Looking miserable, and literally dragging your heels, you shuffle back out to the grotto, steeling yourself for whatever mocking banter Eddie will subject you to this time.

He’s leisurely rearranging the grotto area, and fiddling with the fairy lights behind.

“Hey, Boots. What’re you still doing here?”

Still not looking up, and flicking your eyes everywhere but in his direction, you mumble,

“I, uh, I need your help.”

“What is it? C’mon, you can tell me. We’re quite intimately acquainted now, wouldn’t you say?“

You can hear the smirk in his voice and you want to slap it right off his face. Your response comes out in a rush.

“MyzipisstuckandIcan’tgetoutofthisfuckingcostume, okay?”

“Well, honestly, if you want me to undress you, all you have to do is ask…”

There’s annoyance in your voice as you spit out, “For fuck’s sake Eddie, are you gonna help me or not?”

“Of course, Boots, I’m just messin’ with ya.” His voice drops to an almost-rumble as he instructs, “Turn around for me, yeah?”

His voice is commanding, yet soft and velvety. Parts of your brain turn to marshmallow, and you consider that you’d do almost anything he asked, if he asked you like that.

You do as he requests, your back facing him. You tilt your head down slightly, allowing him better access to the top of the zip, inadvertently also exposing the back of your neck.

He exhales (is it a bit shaky?), and you feel the heat of his breath on your nape, the sensation raising goosebumps along your spine and worrying your legs a little. It’s all you can do to not drop to your knees right there and then. You let out a tiny gasp and try to cover it with a deep swallow.

Eddie works gently on the collar of your garment, fiddling with the fur and disentangling what he can. As he works you continue to feel his breath on your neck, and you wonder if he has any idea what it’s doing to you.

Seemingly satisfied he won’t make it any worse than it already is, Eddie grasps the tag with his fingertips and places the palm of his other hand on your shoulder blade, the heat of it radiating through you so intensely that you have to scrunch your eyes closed and try to ground yourself.

With a quiet, “You ready?”, Eddie begins to slowly lower the zip.

It dislodges under his delicate touch, and although the zip is now completely free-moving he continues to pull it downwards ever so slowly. You feel another frisson of excitement, and even though you could at this stage probably quite easily take over and get out of the garment yourself, you don’t move away.

As the opening reaches your shoulder blades, you feel something else. It’s featherlight, barely there, but you think you can feel the knuckle of one of Eddie’s bent fingers brushing the skin of your back as he pulls the zipper slowly downwards.

Part of you thinks you should be freaked, after all an almost-complete stranger is touching you without your consent, but somehow it doesn’t feel weird. It feels… nice. Safe. Right.

The lower the zip goes the more of Eddie’s breath you feel on your back, and as the sides separate the edges of the colourful tattoo on your shoulder blade become visible.

Eddie's breath stutters at the sight, and as his knuckle passes over your bra strap and connects again with your lower spine you abruptly shake yourself out of your reverie.

Clutching the front of your tunic to your body, you move quickly away from him, stumbling back towards the locker room and mumbling, “I’ll take it from here. Thanks Eddie, you’re a lifesaver.”

Plonking yourself down on the bench in front of your open locker, you take a few deep breaths, trying to centre yourself before you get changed and wondering how on earth you’re going to be able to face him again tomorrow, the (yes, you’ll admit it now) hottest Santa you’ve ever seen...

Back in your own clothes (black, wide-gauge fishnets, an old tee from a punk band that no longer exists, and a flared black skirt - much better) you’re about to scurry out with your head down when you hear muffled grunts and groans from the main floor. What on earth is going on out there?

You amble back out to the grotto area, trying to appear nonchalant and like this is your usual route out of the building.

You see Eddie’s combat boots sticking out from behind a pile of fake snowballs. They seem to be twitching.

You move closer until you can see his entire form. He’s lying on his back, immobile, completely tangled in fairy lights. You can’t help but start to giggle, not least because for the first time since meeting him it’s he who’s the one in a compromising position.

He’s struggling, likely making it worse, and he starts as he sees you, barking out, “Oh god, Boots, you scared me! Well, laugh it up, fuzzball, I guess it’s your turn to rag on me now.”

“What on earth happened? Are you hurt?”

“I said I’d help rearrange these lights, so I was up that ladder, moving them around, when the rung gave way. The lights were the only thing I could grab for when I span, fell, and, well, here we are!”

He gives you a broad but sarcastic grin, realising the absurdity of his predicament, trying to spread out his palms in a jazz hands kind of illustration but only managing to do it with one, the other trapped at his belt line by a string of dazzling pink lights.

“Um, you need a hand?”

“Uh, yes please.”

You take a moment to appraise the situation. You see the broken ladder, the tangled piles of lights, scuffed-up fake grass and unruly piles of snowballs.

As for Eddie, he seems unharmed, if a little bruised in the ego (and, perhaps, the elbows). He’s still wearing the Santa suit. Well, most of it. He still has on the hat for some reason, and the trousers, but he’s discarded the beard and jacket, presumably for reasons of temperature regulation or ease of movement, and his ‘belly’ cushion is nowhere to be seen.

And his top half? Well, his top half is now adorned only in a tight, white tank top.

You swallow as you take in his torso. He looked good on stage that night at the bar, but you never really got to see him this close up. Or this well lit.

His skin is almost as pale as the fake snow that litters the area, but there’s a creaminess to it that just makes him look, well, edible is the only word you can think of. Apart from ’lickable’. Yep, that would work too…

He’s solid, well defined, but he’s not stocky. You imagine that years of carrying amps and band equipment around has toned his muscles rather than bulked them.

And the tattoos… Oh. God.

You’ve always had a thing for people with alternative tastes, but this guy takes the cake. Swirling black ink in a variety of designs and styles covers his pecs and biceps, with smaller but no less elaborate designs adorning his forearms.

You notice a subtle glint under the colourful strings of lights that enwrap him, and spot that one of his nipples is pierced, the ring of metal just barely visible through the taut fabric.

Your eyes drift to his hands (those same hands that entranced you that first night), and although there’s no rings tonight (you guess ‘Badass Santa’ wasn’t the version on the mall’s wish list) his hands are no less attractive, still strong-looking and veiny, and you spot a number of small finger tats that you hadn’t been aware of before.

His position and the fact that he’s still struggling mean his abs are tensed, with his forearms are in front of him, making them, and his shoulders, really pop.

Jeezus.

Your thighs clench and you feel a heat bloom in your core.

He notices you staring, and for a moment seems to revel in it, but eventually breaks you out of your trance, asking, “You gonna help me get out of this, or what?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course, um, lemme just…”

You decide to start at his feet, reasoning that’s where the tangles are the least bad, and at least if his feet are free he’ll be able to sit up.

That decision has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you’d like to see him sitting, bound, tied up for you, naked…

Shit. Fuck. Concentrate…

Eventually you free him from the majority of his confines, your fingertips and the backs of your hands brushing his skin and the fabric of his clothes occasionally. As he’s able to sit up, his hair tickles you as you work, his scent invades you all over again, and the two of you share glances and timid little chuckles as you move around him, both aware that you’re closer than you’ve been before.

Eventually he’s completely freed, and as he stands and steps out of the final loop of lights he flops exhaustedly backwards into his golden throne, eyeing the pile of entangled lights and running a hand over his face, mumbling, “Shit, there’s no hope for them tonight. I’ll deal with it all in the morning.”

You stand to the side of the throne, wanting to check he’s ok, and in a bold move that you weren’t expecting he lifts one arm and takes the tips of your first two fingers in his, gently raising your hand in a silent instruction to come closer.

Mirroring your earlier comment, he says, “Thanks, Boots. You’re a real lifesaver”, adding, with a hand against his forehead, “I would’ve been here all night, could’ve starved to death. They'd've found my mummified remains in the morning.”

You find yourself stepping towards him, and with your free hand try to give his pec a playful slap, murmuring, “You’re so dramatic. No, wait, theatrical!”

The slap fails though, as he rapidly brings his other hand up to the back of yours, trapping your palm against his chest. You can feel the heat of his skin, the slight sheen of sweat just noticeable as your fingertips breach the low neckline of his top, the heavy thud of his heartbeat.

You don’t realise how close you’ve become, and you gasp as your knees touch the side of his. He gently grabs the hand that’s on his chest and pulls it to his side, and to stop yourself from toppling forwards you have to step around him, ending up standing astride his legs.

Your eyes lock, and something changes. For a long moment neither of you move, and you feel your breathing rate speed up.

Not breaking eye contact, Eddie slowly moves your arm up to his shoulder, and you find yourself climbing onto the throne with him, straddling his thighs.

He breaks out that low, rumbling voice again, as he murmurs,

“That’s it, Boots, come sit on Santa’s lap.”

As you lower down onto him, you feel the heat of his thighs through your thin tights, and then the contrast of the chill of your metal-coated heels against the backs of yours.

You also feel something bloom in the pit of your stomach. And further down. A warmth, heat, need.

Eddie moves one hand to hold the back of your waist, pulling you gently, moving you further up his lap towards him.

You feel the unmistakable bulge of his arousal between your thighs, and as he moves you closer you gasp as you feel it nudge your mound.

You look at each other for another long moment, aware that this is very new territory. His eyes flick between your eyes and your lips, as he asks, quietly, “Is- is this okay?”

It’s all too much and simultaneously not enough. You definitely weren’t expecting any of this, but at the same time you find yourself desperately nodding, needing more of him, of Eddie.

You answer by slowly rolling your hips lightly against him, your lips parting slightly.

The few layers of fabric between you aren’t enough to dull the sensation of his cock pushing against your centre, and you feel it gradually pressing between your folds, your growing slick making the movements easier.

Suddenly, his bulge nudges your sensitive bud.

You gasp again at the sensation, making Eddie exhale a long low, warm breath over your torso, before he speaks again.

“Boots, can I kiss you?”

You take a breath, considering how this could all go. You could walk away now (albeit with shaky legs and damp thighs) and leave any possible awkwardness or complicated entanglement in favour of a simple, uncomplicated holiday with your friend.

But then you look into his eyes again, as his hips gently buck and nudge you once more, and your decision is made.

Breathing out, you reply,

“Fuck yeah, Santa.”

Wearing a soft, sly smile, he gently brings one hand to the back of your head, bringing you to him as he moves forwards, chocolate eyes roaming your face, scanning your eyes and lips.

Noses bumping and lips millimetres apart, he pauses for a moment before closing the gap, pressing his soft, plush lips to yours. They feel divine, soft and velvety, and this close you can smell everything him now, with the subtle addition of something faintly minty.

You kiss him back, and then you both press forward harder, parting your lips at the same moment, the tips of your tongues touching and dancing before sliding past each other and deepening the kiss, your teeth bumping gently and hot breaths mingling.

It’s wet, hot and needy, your hands grasping his shoulders, and his arms pulling you closer to him.

The rolling of your hips gradually becomes stronger and more forceful, and he bucks harder up into you. You need more. Breaking the kiss for air, you take a couple of lungfuls, toying with the drawstring on his red pants before asking, bold and more than a little cheeky,

“How are you feeling? Still entangled? Do you need a hand getting out of these, too?”

“Yeah, fuck, I’m feeling very… entrapped, kinda claustrophobic. Might be in shock from such a traumatic experience. I might need to loosen my clothing a bit, y’know, for medical reasons.”

You give him a smirk, and untie the cords. Raising up on your knees slightly, you slide your thumbs hands into the waistband of those and his fitted, black boxers (fuck, is there anything about this guy that isn’t sexy?). He quickly takes the hint, lifting his hips off of the throne and allowing you to move his garments down to his thighs.

As you work his member gets caught on the elastic of his boxers, and as it releases from the fabric it springs back onto his abdomen with an audible slap. You can’t help but look, and you’re not disappointed. It’s pleasantly, but not overly, big, thick and veiny, curved slightly and with a large flared head. The tip is shiny and pinky-red, and as you stare it twitches away from his body and a tiny bead of precum leaks from the tip. You’re surprised, but also delighted, to spot a shining pair of steel balls decorating a frenum piercing, and that there’s a few pretty dot and line work tattoos near the base.

It’s beautiful. You want to tell him so, but he grabs you and pulls you in for another deep, passionate kiss, his length trapped between your bodies, hot and pulsing.

You melt into the kiss, tongues slipping and sliding, lips rubbing, noses smooshed against each other and enjoying it for as long as you can both do without air.

Needing another deep inhale, and also wanting to get your hands on his delightful cock, you sit up again, slipping one hand between you and grasping at his length. Eddie hisses, then moans,

“Oh, Boots, you’re gonna fucking kill me.”

You enjoy the feeling of him in your hand for a few moments, relishing the heat and hardness, before you position the palm of your hand behind his cock and push your centre towards him again, trapping his length between your hand and belly.

More thrusts of his hips moves him between you, your slightly adjusted position now pressing him firmly between your clothed folds, his cock dragging the fabric across your clit. You can’t help but let out a high whine, and you feel his cock twitch again.

“Too much fabric. Wanna feel you.”

His voice is gruff, desperate, wanting.

You lean back a little, resting one hand on the arm of the throne, keeping your other hand wrapped around his cock. You’re not sure you ever want to let it go.

His hands move from your ass to your thighs, running over them and squeezing. When he reaches the part exposed by your lifted skirt he growls, feeling the skin of your hips and belly through the mesh of your tights.

Suddenly, his chin dips and he gives you an almost evil grin. His eyes remain connected with yours as the tip of his tongue peeks out of the corner of his mouth as he pushes some of his fingertips through the holes, grabs tightly and pulls.

You freeze as the sound of snapping fabric echoes around the grotto, cool air now gracing your belly and inner thighs. You gasp, not only at his actions but because you packed light and don’t have any other tights with you. But as Eddie’s thumbs trace up to the crease of your thighs, dangerously close to your heated core, all thoughts of packing and capsule wardrobes are erased. You want, no, need him to touch you.

With a smirk, you say, “Please touch me, Santa. I promise I’ve been such a good girl this year.”

His jaw goes slack and he looks at you in awe. You notice how black his eyes have become, the beautiful chocolate hues all but obscured.

He flicks his gaze to your core, black satin panties with lace edging fully on display. He runs one thumb pad up your very centre, feeling the smooth, silky fabric, your heat, the dampness that’s already apparent.

“Christ, baby, is this all for me?”

“All for you, Santa. I’m pretty sure you’ve been a bad boy this year, but you deserve a treat anyway.”

His eyes flick to yours again briefly, his lips curling into a lascivious smirk, before returning to the beautiful display between your legs. He hooks his thumb around one lace edge and, much more gently than he handled your tights, moves the soaked satin to one side.

With a tenderness and reverence that you’ve never experienced before, Eddie parts your folds with his thumb and runs it delicately from your wet lips all the way up to your clit. His eyes are fixed there, jaw slack, and you genuinely think he might drool.

As he connects with your sensitive bud you keen above him, eyes closing and head rolling back.

“That’s the spot, huh?”

You come back to look at him, and manage to breathe out, with a lilting giggle, “Fuck, yes.”

He moves his thumb in a small circle, and your mouth falls open in an O, your brows furrowing slightly.

“You want me to keep going, Boots? All you have to do is ask…”

You’re lost, gone, away in space, and you don’t have the capacity to chide him for his cheek. All you can manage is a breathy, “Please Eddie, please keep going.”

His thumb speeds up slightly and he gradually and gently increases the pressure, and you can feel the coil in your belly tightening already. Fuck, he’s good at this.

Your hand remains clamped around his dick, squeezing it occasionally, his hips rutting up into your fist at a leisurely pace as he watches you fall apart on his lap.

He moves his other hand from where it’s been resting on your hip, and, widening his thighs slightly to create space beneath you, brings the tips of his index and middle fingers to your hole. You’re sopping wet and swollen, lips almost sucking him in just from the slightest touch.

He looks to your face again as he asks, “Is this okay?”

You manage a rapid, shallow head nod and a, “M-hm”, and he slowly plunges two fingers into you, scissoring them and generating a low groan from you, which in turn causes a harsher snap from his hips.

“Jeezus, Boots, you make the most delicious sounds, wish I could record them, listen to them on a loop. Fucking hell.”

“Maybe you can, you’re a musician after a-all…”

That’s the last thing you can say for a while, the combination of Eddie’s smirk, his talented fingers pumping in and out of you, his glorious thumb movements, the feel of his cock in your hand and his hips bucking beneath you all conspire to bring you to your peak.

You grip the arm of the throne hard, nails denting the pile on the velvety fabric. Your eyes close and your vision goes black before becoming a thousand tiny fairy lights, a firework igniting in your core and spreading throughout your body in the most delicious waves as you spasm around Eddie’s fingers.

You don’t notice you’ve been groaning until your senses return, and you feel a slight roughness in your throat. Eddie continues his movements, though slower, and helps you ride out your aftershocks as you pant on his lap.

Only when you start to twitch in discomfort does he remove his thumb from your clit. He slowly pulls his fingers from inside you, and to your surprise brings them up to his lips, pushing them fully inside his mouth and sucking greedily, closing his eyes and humming at your taste. Popping them out with a wet smack, he says,

“My god, Boots. You taste better than sugar cookies and cotton candy combined.”

Your arms feel suddenly weak, and you flop forwards, forehead on Eddie’s collarbone. You feel his warm, broad palm on your back, rubbing gently, soothing you.

“Y’okay there, sweetheart?”

You manage a little squeak, and mumble a tiny, “Mmph, yeaaah…”, as he chuckles lightly.

After a few moments you sit up a little, gazing into Eddie’s blown chocolate eyes through an endorphin haze, and you notice your cheeks are tense, in what must be, given Eddie’s somewhat lovesick expression, a goofy smile.

You realise you’re still holding on to his dick, and give it an experimental squeeze, to test whether your muscles are responding to signals from your brain (yeah, that’s definitely the only reason…). Eddie’s hips buck up, and you sneak a look down to see more precum leaking from the tip. You gather some with your thumb, circling it gently over his slit.

Eddie inhales with a hiss. His strong arm around your back goes to pull you in for another kiss, as his other hand reaches up to the hat atop his head, pulling it off and discarding it amongst the tangled fairy lights.

You move towards him for a deep kiss, releasing the grip on his member and running your hands around his (surprisingly muscular and delicious) neck and into the hair at the base of his skull, tangling your fingers into the curls and tugging gently, earning you another moan.

Shifting your hips along his thighs, you press your soaking folds against Eddie’s turgid cock, and the combination of sensations causes Eddie to break the kiss and emit a loud, low groan. His arms tighten around your torso and he moves his warm mouth down your jaw and neck with wet kisses, then lightly bites the top of your shoulder.

You sigh, knowing what you want.

“You ever fuck an elf, Santa?”

Eddies still mouthing at your collarbone as he mutters into your warm skin,

“Goddammit, you’re incredible.”

You move backwards slightly and Eddie takes the opportunity to reach behind him, grabbing the back of his tank top and dragging it off, dropping it carelessly to the side of the throne to join the lights and his hat.

Fuck, his chest is glorious too.

Bringing a little of your lower lip between your teeth, you run your palms down his solid torso. You want the opportunity to play with that nipple ring and examine each and every one of his tattoos, but right now there are more pressing desires on your mind.

He lets out a shaky breath as you brush his abs with your fingertips, shift your position and line up his swollen head with your eagerly awaiting hole.

“You sure about this, Boots?”

You look up at him, at his blown dark eyes and pink, kiss-bitten, shiny lips, and quirk an eyebrow as you run your fingers into his hair and murmur, “Oh yeah, Eddie. I want you to make me feel… special inside.”

He gasps as you angle your hips and sink down, pushing the head of his cock inside of you, gradually taking his thick length.

He kisses your lips once more, humming, as you acclimatise to his girth, then grins lasciviously as he thrusts his hips upwards, filling you completely. You’re close enough that the moans you let out mingle together and your breaths become shared, eyes locked and mouths agape.

You roll your hips, sliding Eddie’s length in and out of you at a gentle pace. You can feel every ridge and vein as he enters and pulls out, and you’re sure you can feel his frenum piercing dragging against your walls.

You can tell he’s holding back, consciously stilling his own hips and allowing you to set the pace. But this doesn’t last long.

Voice gravelly and ragged with lust, Eddie mumbles,

“Shit, baby, I gotta move. I wanna fuck you so bad, Boots. You gonna let me fuck you?”

Mouth close to his ear, you breathe out a small, “Please”.

It’s all he needs.

Grabbing your ass and squeezing hard but not harshly, Eddie pulls you down onto him as he thrusts up from below. His pace is ruthless as he lifts and drops you, matching his rhythm as he grunts and mumbles incoherent curses. You can’t make out much, but you do hear,

“Fuck, baby, you feel so divine, taking me so well, Jeezus Christ.”

Fuck, he feels amazing.

You remember his cock tattoos, and imagine how they might look, shiny and covered with your slick, disappearing in and out of your glossy lips.

This image, combined with a particularly hard snap of Eddie’s hips causing him to angle slightly differently and start to nudge that special place inside of you, causes you to let out a loud gasp, and your mouth drops open as you try to form a sentence.

“Oh fuck Eddie, I’m- I’m…”

“You gonna cum all over Santa, pretty girl?”

He continues thrusting at that delicious angle and you feel your legs start to tremble.

“Fuck! Y-yes, ye-ess!”

Heat building in your core, you just about hear Eddie mumbling,

“Shit, you’re squeezin’ me so tight, I’m not gonna last much longer. Where do you want…?”

Before he can even finish you’re blurting out,

“Inside me Eddie, please.”

You bounce on Eddie’s lap as his thrusts become deeper, faster, and then harsher and less rhythmic. You grind down onto his pelvis, your clit rubbing against his pubic bone and his thick, dark pubic hair, as his cock continues to bully your most sensitive spot.

Suddenly your muscles tense, thighs clamping around him, your forehead pressing hard into his, as his hips slam up into you. You let out a low whine as you peak again, vision blackening, all your muscles tensing as your walls clench around him.

Eddie follows almost immediately, thrusting harshly upwards and pulling your hips down onto him, and you feel rushes of warmth as he groans and empties himself inside your fluttering cunt.

There’s quiet for a moment, and all you can hear is your panting breaths and the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, foreheads feasting against each other, heartbeats slowing and breathing becoming more regular.

Breathlessly, and without full clarity, you sit up slightly and mumble “Fuck, Eddie, that was…”

Eddie chews a little on the inside of his lower lip, and with the widest, sexiest smile you’ve ever seen, replies softly,

“Merry Christmas, Boots.”

After a few moments spent pecking kisses on various parts of your face, making you giggle, Eddie eventually helps you to lift off his slowly softening cock. He leans over to retrieve his discarded tank top and uses it to help clean the mess you both made between your legs.

You unpeel yourselves from the golden throne, feeling sure the heels of your boots have left marks in your ass, and he aids your passage back to the locker room on wobbly legs, helping you wash and making sure you’re ok.

As you gather your things he changes into his street clothes. They’re not dissimilar to last night, though he’s foregone the chain belt and has chosen a somewhat more fully intact shirt, and he watches you as he slings on his leather jacket.

Almost ready, you look down forlornly at your gaping tights, the hole barely covered by the hem of your skirt. Eddie chuckles, and tries to lighten your hosiery-related mood.

“Perhaps I could buy you a new pair? Maybe at lunch tomorrow we could go visit your favourite shop, and you could pick out something nice?”

The image of Santa and one of his elves nonchalantly browsing the displays in a sex shop amuses you greatly, and you tell him so, but he insists he would totally do it, if you wanted to.

There’s a pause as you retrieve your coat and go to put it on, and as you do he adds,

“Well, I’d call it a Christmas gift, but… I’d actually prefer to get you something a little nicer. If you’re around. And you’d let me, of course.”

You’re surprised by Eddie’s unexpected tenderness, and the implication that he might want to continue… whateverthisis. You don’t want to presume anything, but there’s certainly a little tingle in your belly at the thought.

You reply, sardonically, “Sure, I guess. So long as it’s not red and glittery, I think I've had enough things like that to last me for a little while.”

You both snort-laugh at this.

As you start to walk together to the staff exit at the back of the mall, Eddie offers to take your bag so you can fasten your coat and put on your hat and gloves.

Trying to sound casual, he asks, “Sooo, how’re you gettin’ back to Robin’s?”

“I was gonna take the bus, like usual.”

Eddie looks at you sideways, slightly bashful.

“Could I, maybe, give you a ride? We can stop at Benny’s on the way, if you’re hungry. It's a diner”, he clarifies, remembering that you’re not from around here.

Your tummy flips, and not just from the thought of a milkshake and fries.

“Yeah, sure, I’d like that.”

Eddie smiles that wide smile again, and you see his cheeks turn a little pink. It’s odd, him being all shy and self-conscious after what you two have just done, but somehow it’s also incredibly endearing.

As he walks you through the parking lot, still carrying your bag and toying with a stray piece of tinsel that he found in his pocket, he says,

“Y’know, I’d still really like to see what you do with that Christmas dildo.”

Thinking back to how he looked all tangled up, you smirk back at him as you think of how you’d quite like a redo of him tied up for you.

As you reach his van, you lean against the passenger door and coyly look at him.

“Well, maybe I could show you. Could we, maybe, do something after work tomorrow?”

With the sweetest dimpled smile you think you’ve ever seen, Eddie cocks his head to one side and lifts a hand to run the tip of one forefinger along your jawline, as he replies in that low rumble,

“Oh, Boots, you should know by now. All you have to do is ask.”

🎄You may not yet be completely sold on the whole idea of The Holidays™️, but you’ll have to admit to Robin that this might well be the start of your Best. Christmas. Ever.🎄

Thanks so much for reading! ILY 🥰

Please support your content creators by not only liking but also commenting and reblogging - it’s so important. If you liked this there’s a good chance others will too, and comments and reblogs are the only way posts get seen. Consider it a Christmas gift to your writers and followers 😍🎅🏼 Thank you, and Happy Holidays, however you celebrate!

Resources: Proof that Deck The Halls can be sung to the tune of War Pigs (and vice versa), plus the ‘Fa la la’ 😊🎄

#prompt party #Santa!eddie munson #come sit on Santa’s lap #festive fic #promptparty #festive smut #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #5+1 #5+1 fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #Christmas fiction #best christmas ever #Eddie munson fan fiction #Eddie munson fanfic #Christmas smut #rockstar!eddie #strangers to lovers #steve harrington #robin buckley #S.A.N.T.A. BABY #boots #joseph quinn

[insidefernweh]

Well, hello.

A couple months ago one silly woman (me) decided that it’s time for creativity to take a hold of her and let something cool into this world.

And that’s how I decided to give birth to…a The Amazing Devil blanket. Or I might have dreamed it whilst being feverish. Who knows.

It’s been three months of stitching, embroidering, sewing, unmaking the mistakes, cursing, saying ‘waahheeey’ at the end of the complete step, cursing again and enjoying the hell out of the process of something being made into the realness. 

It is literally the embodiment of me. I love it and hate it equally. It has got my favourite quotes from the songs. Yes, that’s me — your favourite girl with maelstrom of lyrics instead of a brain. It also has got some of my blood somewhere along the stitches (did i do it on purpose to please the fae gods aka Joey and Madeleine? you’ll never know. hashtag blood magic.) I wanted to get it done for the Ruin Appreciation Week (though it contains lyrics from all albums) so that was me last week because it was very FAR from being done:

I’m posting the bigger picture + close ups of smaller details and songs’ lyrics. Please feel free to reach out if you want to see a better close up or just to pat me on the head.

I’m posting a video too. It’s silly so enjoey. (ha! see what I did here. that was a typing accident. it’s 1am now. forgive me my jokes.)

warning: the video include some probably offensive actions to the professional seamstresses. i’m only a humble ignorant person who decided to sew for the first time in her life. i do hope you’ll like it.

references used:

the central embroidery: TAD’s old picture from some posters back in the love run era + some sage and forget-me-nots

top right and left bottom corners: pictures of joey and madeleine

songs: secret worlds, the calling, inkpot gods, drinking song for the socially anxious, chords, farewell wanderlust, not yet/love run (reprise), that unwanted animal, battle cries, elsa’s song, wild blue yonder

UPD: A few of you have been asking about the quotes I used on my blanket/quilt and why I chose them so here I am:

If you ask me for my fire, just watch me burn — you know what, I recently started to interpret this line in a positive way? It was a recent thing I understood about myself. I always thought I was good at working/doing things well in the long run, when you have to do it patiently and for years but in my journey of self-discovery I realized that in reality I’m much better as a sprinter — someone who does an incredible job while being under the vast amount of pressure and when you need to do it in a restricted period of time; I will give all of myself to this project/work, every bit of passion I have, every bit of patience. So yeah. If you ask me for my fire — just watch me burn. But then I’ll hibernate for a month. 

Can’t you hear it howling? — OKAY HANDS DOWN PROBABLY MY FAVOURITE LYRICS/MELODY SECTION FROM THE WHOLE RUIN ALBUM. Even not the part that is sung by Madeleine, but the back voices Joey’s harmonies sing in the final chorus at 4:28 and till the end. OOOOH WHY SO GOOD.

If I don’t make it back from where i’ve gone just know I loved you all along — this is such a beautiful closing of the song. also such a tormenting thought. i love it.

Such endless blue — I’ve always been drawn to the dark blue colours, especially when I paint. I always run out of the blue watercolour because contrary to this song, it’s not endless :D I’m manifesting an abyss of blue watercolour for myself here lol

You say the words so often but I barely know the meaning — okay so Elsa’ Song is primarily pretty heartbreaking right? The more heartbreaking part being that it is sung as a lullaby. Who didn’t have that moment when the meaning of the words you’re saying slips through your fingers just because you said them too often? Who didn’t have that sad awakening moment of losing trust in a person just because they always promised something and never did it?

After summers of fasting I feel hunger at last — I’ve been thinking about tattooing this quote for quite a while now. It reminds me of my depressive state which very often returned to me in summer and every time it slowly creeped away, I felt the hunger for life in the early autumn.  Every time felt like an eternity. 

Is nought but fumble-falls and guns and tumbleweeds, love, run — my favourite quote from the superior use of the English language that is that section in Love Run. I am in love with it. All the phonetic twirls makes me shiver sometimes.

Well, hello my hollow Holofernes — ALLITERATION SUPREMACY!!  

I’ll sing silence and ask my glass of wine for guidance — i love to sit at home alone and stare into my glass. it doesn’t answer though. what about it. and again — to sing silence? OXYMORONS GIVE ME THEM

Go tell me how we fucked you up and oh my god, it’s so unfair — ah. the hardship of parenting/teaching. I was there, I remember it all too well. 

Let’s us waltz for the dead — the oxymoronic style of this line IS JUST A CHEF’S KISS. WALTZ? VERY SOPHISTICATED THING? FOR THE DEAD? NOT THAT PLEASANT TYPE OF A THING? mister batey let me boop you affectionately on the nose you are so clever.

#the amazing devil #joey batey #madeleine hyland #embroidery #ruinanniversary2022

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

would i be the asshole for contacting my ex to ask them if they could stop talking about me online to a community that knows who i am? (🥐)

tw: kinda emotionally abusive relationship

bg info

me (24f) and my ex (28) were in a three month relationship three years ago following a whole year of friendship. they were my first partner and i came out as a lesbian to everyone during our relationship. when we were together, they were 24 and i was 20. i was very emotionally dependent on them when i was 20 due to mental health issues and so were they which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship was as explosive as it was. i looked up to them, my whole emotional world revolved around them, and our friendship/relationship was the only thing i had in my life at the time. they constantly asked me "hey is it even ethical that im dating you, im 4 years older, you tell me please, oh i feel like such a bad person", yet, they still continued dating me every time they would ask.

our fights were horrible and truly explosive as they broke their stuff in front of me out of anger, threw things at me and insulted me as stupid, amongst many other things. our fights usually ensued because i would ask them for reassurance and they would start panicking and screaming at me to shut up. to be fair, i would cry every time i was asking for reassurance which probably made them feel scared about losing me, so i consider myself 50% at fault for everything that happened in our relationship, i shouldve been able to talk to them in a secure manner that wouldnt trigger their abandonment issues. our fights were quite jarring and made me walk out on them several times out of fear. yet i always came back and apologized and took the whole accountability, even though i dont consider myself the only one at fault. walking out several times during fights was probably one of the worst things i could have done but at the same time i was simply scared. even when i walked out after our last fight, they begged me to come back, which i did, i apologized under tears, and yet, told them that i cant promise them to stay no matter what.. and left.

we met through tumblr and were in a medium distance relationship. after our relationship, i went to a clinic and had to learn a lot about myself, what i experienced and what i want from life. im in a very happy and healthy place now and since the end of 2021 im with my current partner whom i want to be the love of my life and whom ive started to build a life with.

context

i have my ex blocked on all social media because they used to do hour long deep dives into my blog, even as of recently (i have statcounter installed for my safety bc im paranoid about them sending me anonymous asks). at first i also used to visit their blog after our break up but stopped doing so after moving on with my life. one year after breaking up i temporarily unblocked them and explicitly asked them not to look at my social media (or at least to do it in a way in which i dont notice aka asked them not to watch my instagram stories).

while i dont visit their blog/social media because i dont want to know whats going on in their life, tumblr mutuals frequently dm me stuff like "hey i think you should know that your ex posted about you/shit talks about something that you posted". i havent asked my mutuals to tell me whenever this happens but i imagine they do so because within the tumblr space we exist, everyone kind of knows everyone (so my ex doesnt have to mention my name for people to know who theyre talking about). sometimes mutuals send screenshots of the posts so that i dont have to visit my ex's blog. last ive heard my ex joked about throwing jewelry at me and posted extensively about a tattoo that i got. my ex's behavior makes me uncomfortable and feel just as helpless as i did back then.

why i might be the asshole

im scared that they might be venting because i was more at fault in the relationship than them and that i am unconsciously deflecting. however, i talked about every detail of the relationship and this fear extensively with my therapist, friends, and partner who are of the opinion that i was young, scared, and intertwined in a relationship that was incredibly toxic. im still unsure though because my emotions frequently triggered theirs.

why they might be the asshole

i asked them once to stop visiting my social media and i feel like venting about our relationship that broke off 3 years ago to a tumblr community of friends and acquaintances is kind of unfair. however, i might be the asshole and they might just need the space for venting. i could just ignore the vents and let them heal in their own way from what ensued.

WIBTA if i confronted them again and told them that i want them to stop talking about me online? or would i be a party pooper because every person needs a space for venting?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

tsc thoughts while reading (beware of spoilers) starting with -

david wymack my fucking beloved

also i never rlly liked/cared for thea but her scene with jean and her nickname for him was cute

chapter 3 thoughts:

jeremy being in awe of neil and the foxes is giving me life

fanfics with alvarez in them gonna go crazy now that we actually have a first name for her (and don’t have to invent one)

oh they rich rich (in reference to jeremy’s family butler?!)

jerejean first interaction!!!!

chapter 4:

omg sunshine court mentioned

having the sudden realisation that i can never read fanfics that have jean’s perspective or anything about the how the ravens work, raven!neil/aftermath of the kings men in the same way again

my neighbours are having a party and while i’m loving the music and absolutely jealous i’m not there, it’s really distracting me from reading

ngl i rlly miss neil and andrew and the foxes please let me see my family soon

‘ what you hold onto is less important than the act of holding on itself’ nora sakavic shut the fuck up you philosophical genius i’m gonna cry this is so real to me

renee i love u

WIT WTF JEAN IS NINETEEN I DIDNT KNOW THAT OH MY GOD BABY HE JOINED THE RAVEN LINEUP AT SIXTEEN WTF

i’m drinking red wine while reading and i think that’s appropriate… also i’m listening to that jean moreau playlist someone made and it’s mega depressing https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5zlPt63Ap0AjJQ1Ff5OKrd?si=75oEzLE8SO-bfJwewM8Evw&pi=a-ge04jIlVTJGY

this is so funny to only me but i’ve been hyperfixating on one direction again and zayn just dropped new music so everytime i read about jean’s raven roomate zane i think of one direction and confused myself a bit about what fandom i’m reading rn

fuck riko u sick fucking fuck u put jean into a box with a singular hole for air and left him to die u fucking cunt

KEVIN ASKING JEAN TO PROMISE NOT TO KILL HIMSELF AFTER NORA WROTE COUNTLESS DRAFTS IN WHICH JEAN KILLED HIMSELF WHILE ON THE PHONE TO KEVIN AND THE ONLY TIME SHE DIDNT KILL JEAN OFF IS THE VERSION SHE PUBLISHED AND THE REASON WE GET TO HEAR HIS STORY TODAY IM SO BROKEN

jean’s ‘gift’ from the ravens with his broken magnets, blacked out postcards and angry letters is making me cry he deserves so much better

slowly realising that this book is gonna be super triggering lol whoops

a cool evening breeze 🥲

THAT CREEPY LITTLE GOALKEEPER IS MY FAVOURITE GUY OK

‘kevin saw nothingn but the court, but jean had stopped hoping for more than that years ago’ shut the fuckkkk uppppp i cant do this anymore kevin/jean relationship is so deeply important to me (i say this about everything)

chapter 5:

SECOND NEIL/ JEAN INTERACTION OF THE BOOK IM SO FUCKING EXCITED

‘of course it’d be you, you tedious malcontent’ ‘good morning to you too’ is so ‘morning sunshine’ ‘fuck you’ coded (neil and matt bromance confirmed)

the amount of mitski on this jean playlist is making me sick

FUCKING SCREAMING OMFG THIS IS THE JEAN/NEIL CONTENT I YEARN FOR

‘abominable cockroach’ aww jean u say the sweetest things 🥰❤️ neil loves u too babe

literally devouring every last scrap of information jean feeds us about neil - his slow, hungry, hateful smile and the madness in his eyes (neil baby i love u never change)

oh jean don’t diss aaron, do u know how many fanfics have been written about u two

tsc is confirmation that jean moreau will come into ur house and judge u based on the contents of ur fridge (and then throw out ur stash of lollies)

‘to have a real match as a palate cleanser’ jean is really trying to win my favour by borrowing neil’s sassiness huh (no wonder i love them so much together) ((and yes i know he’s BEEN sassy ok))

jean reaching for the tv screen as if he could save neil and describing andrew running for neil as if hell was on his heels is making me absolutely giddy idk whether to scream or cry i’m doing both and i’m giggling

I bet on losing dogs is so jean moreau coded omg

holy fuck nora, the moments after the raven/fox match when riko tries to kill neil is fucking amazingly written. reading from jean’s perspective as he watches the game on tv, the tension, the breathless anxiety and confusion of the scene is palpable i coukd fucking taste it, my chest is tight just reading it

JEAN SAYING ANDREW WILL BE COURT IS IMMACULATE

#tsc #the sunshine court #jean moreau #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #neil josten #andreil #andrew minyard #palmetto state foxes #kevin day #jeremy knox #usc trojans #nora sakavic #tsc spoilers

[bvidzsoo]

The Nightfury

Author: bvidzsoo

Warnings: gore, violence, blood, smut, maiming, fighting, swearing

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

Word count: 22,2k

Summary: When Captain Kim died Hongjoong was only fifteen years old. He couldn't let his father's name go in vain, he took over the ship and became the next Captain Kim, better known as The Slayer. Everyone feared Hongjoong and his crew, Ateez. Everyone except you. You met in an Inn when you both were younger and tricked him into threatening an innocent man, and then you robbed him. You thought it was funny how such a powerful and feared man was so easy to play with, so you started your little game of sabotaging Hongjoong's affairs, unknowing that you were playing with fire. Would The Nightfury or The Slayer win once their swords clashed against each other? (Reader is called Lee Yuri in the following oneshots.)

A/N: Hii, I'm back!! But so is university, unfortunately, so I'll be slower with my updates. Also, this part is dark, alright, so take the warnings seriously! I didn't write anything very very detailed, but it's there, okay? Personally, I don't think San's part was too dark, I think it was more shocking and infuriating, however this one is just a different cup...also, if you haven't read Jongho's part, I highly recommend you do before reading this, because there are many call-backs to it. If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know. And enjoy now! Share your thoughts!

Taglist: @pingyu-in-wonderland @marievllr-abg @lelaleleb @loveforred @horanghae8 @jeonghanscarat7 @orshii @mundayoonimnida @m3tavita @silentcry329 @icarusignite

Series Masterlist ↭ Previous Part

            4 years ago

            From a young age, I had been encouraged to go out in the world, learn as many things as possible, be creative and discover myself: my likes and dislikes. From a young age, I knew I had a bright future in front of me, I knew I was destined to do incredible things, to be remembered forever. It’s the circumstances that came as a surprise to everyone, even myself, to how I achieved my current fame and the slightly atrocious things I had to do to get here. We didn’t do many bad things as my crew was still small, our ship barely fitting for twenty people, but we were growing, expanding. We were saving up for something bigger, better, and stronger. But for that, I needed money. A lot of it. Hanging around lowlifes and nobodies wasn’t going to solve my issues, so I carefully carved out a plan for myself. And the plan was perfect and simple. Find a target, quite easy as men had always been gullible, but they needed to be rich, now that was a harder task as these men tended to be slightly smarter than the rest. But with a bat of an eyelash, some sweet words and the right attitude you could get anything. And what I needed most were their riches. That turned out to be the easiest part, robbing them of their goods without them even noticing. And it was also fun and thrilling to watch their despair as they slowly realized they had nothing to fend off of anymore, promising to get it back in order to shower you with more expensive gifts, but I wouldn’t stick around for that long. No, I took what they had and then left, latching onto my next victim like a leech, taking away everything they had tucked away in their little chests filled with gold and jewelry. I didn’t care about them, I only cared about my own goal, and that was money. Lots of it. Thus, you probably would understand the predicament I found myself in currently, staring at the middle-aged man with bored eyes as he was trying to explain that his wife had caught onto him spending more money lately and started questioning him. I had zero interest in his sob story, whatever problems he was having with his wife was none of my business, he doomed himself the second he fell for my convincing act. He was the easiest to get and the dumbest out of all the men I have tricked so far, it made me almost feel bad for him.

“Listen, my love, I have to lay low for a little while because my wife is now more suspicious than ever.” He said in a hushed tone, looking around paranoid despite the loud chatter inside the Inn; nobody was paying attention to us.

“What about the emerald necklace I showed you last week?” I asked with a pout, sighing deeply. I watched as the man in front of me crumbled, a look of helplessness crossing his features.

“I know, I know, my love, but—”

“There would be no but’s if you loved me enough, Juyeon.” I cut him off, eyebrows furrowing in fake hurt, playing with my fingers in my lap. Juyeon, the man currently so desperate, let out a long breath of air and rubbed his forehead.

“I could—I—” He bit his lower lip, shaking his head, “I could try and buy it for you next week, but my wife—”

“It’s always your wife!” I allowed my voice to raise a little bit, pretending that I was fed up with him prioritizing his wife all the time. Juyeon tensed at the raise of my tone and glanced around, placing his hands on the table and slipping them towards me.

“No, no, it’s not like that, my love, you know it.” He tried to reason with me, taking my hands in his, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. I gulped and looked away, pretending that I was trying not to cry, “You know I love you more than anything else in the four seas and four kingdoms, but—I—I still need to take care of her and the children, I can’t—I can’t abandon them.”

I huffed and whipped my head around, to look at him, “That’s not what you said a few weeks ago, Juyeon.”  

He chuckled nervously and started rubbing my knuckles again, “Well, I thought about it more and—”

“So, you don’t love me.” I cut him off again, pulling my hands away from his hold, sniffing, “All of this was a lie. You don’t love me, Juyeon, you just don’t. You were trying to make a fool out of me and you succeeded!”

Juyeon chuckled nervously as I raised my voice, again, and quickly shook his head, “No, that’s not—”

“Really?!” I snapped, eyes filling with tears, “Because that’s not what it looks like right now! You promised we’d run away by the end of the month, you promised to buy me that emerald necklace, you promised to make me your lover! And now you’re saying you want nothing to do with me anymore?!”

Juyeon’s eyebrows furrowed as I let a few tears slip down my cheeks, sniffing now loudly, “No, my love. That is not what I’m saying! I love you and I will prove it to you—”

“Then run away with me.” I pressed, wiping away the tears, but more fake ones kept falling. I should’ve become an actress, that way my parents would’ve actually been proud of me.

“I can’t.” Juyeon muttered looking away, biting his lower lip again. It was my time to shine, I had to suppress my smirk from showing, as I stood up abruptly, the chair screeching loudly, making Juyeon look up at me alarmed.

“You don’t love me!” I said loudly, a few people around us glancing our way, “And you never did! All you did was use me, because you thought I must be dumb just because I’m young, right?! Who do you think you are, Lee Juyeon?! Shamefully charming me with your money and jewelry you gifted me—did you even think about your wife?! What if she were ever to see us—your children too!”

Juyeon was on his feet in an instant, eyes wide as people were now staring at us curiously, always up for a juicy story. Tears fell from my eyes and I wiped at them angrily, flinching back when he tried to touch me from across the table, “What—what are you talking about, Y/N?”

“Don’t act innocent right now!” I screamed, voice raw, Juyeon’s eyes even wider than before, “Stop lying to me and just admit all you did was use a poor girl like me for your sick and twisted fantasies!”

“That’s not what it is!” Juyeon suddenly screamed back, dark eyes narrowed now in anger and he stepped around the table, taking a hold of my arm. Despite his anger, his grip was still soft, careful not to hurt me. I could see the confusion in his eyes and I gulped as I averted my own, looking at the table, trying to tug my arm free, but he wouldn’t budge. Suddenly, I yelped and looked at him as I allowed a sob to escape my plump lips.

“You’re hurting me—” I whimpered, very fakely, but Juyeon reacted instantly. And so did someone else. As Juyeon’s grip softened even more, about to release me, a body larger than mine and Juyeon’s, appeared out of nowhere, pushing the middle-aged man backwards. Juyeon looked startled and so did I as my act slipped for a second as I looked to my left, staring at the newcomer. I was left speechless as I stared at his profile, jawline so sharp it could cut me in half.

“Mate, it’s time you stop.” His voice was firm and his gaze threatening as I couldn’t look away, suddenly captured by his presence, his aura. It was so strong, so sharp, and dominating. He exuded a call for respect, able to make anyone take a step back and oblige to his wishes. His black clothes were in perfect condition and he stood close enough for me to feel the sweet smell of his cologne, mixed with something salty. I gulped as I became conscious that I was staring, so I averted my eyes back on Juyeon, who looked like he didn’t know what to do. Even I forgot what I was supposed to do for a second.

“Please—” I whispered softly, eyes filled with tears as I looked back at the stranger, who’s eyes suddenly fell on me. I gulped, trying to mask the sudden attraction I was feeling towards him. His cat-like eyes rimmed with black eyeliner bore into mine sharply, analyzing my face for a second before he turned back towards Juyeon, who shook his head and tried to approach me again.

“It’s not what it looks like, I assure you—”

“You saying that makes it look like exactly that, mate.” The breathtaking stranger snapped, his voice low as his eyes narrowed at Juyeon, “I advise you leave when I’m still asking nicely.”

I gulped and wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt, Juyeon and I making eye contact briefly as he scoffed and grabbed his small bag, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe you did this to me.” He muttered to himself, casting a last glance my way, his eyes filled with pain as he shamefully left the Inn, more people glaring at him and giving me sympathetic glances. I pretended to shiver as the stranger’s eyes and focus was on me now, having to continue my lie still. This is not the outcome I expected, but perhaps I was about to score big tonight. I allowed my eyes to run over the stranger’s body, noting the various necklaces adorning his smooth neck, his skin tan and satiny. The black pearl on a shorter chain caught my attention and my fingers itched to wrap around it and snap it off his neck. My eyes traveled lower and I tried to count his rings too, wearing at least two on one finger, making me gulp. This man was rich. And he wasn’t afraid of showing it off. Before our gazes connected I noticed his blonde hair falling very carefully on his forehead, definitely styled like that, finding the longer strands in the back interesting. Not many dared going for a mullet, but this man looked spectacular with it.

“Are you alright?” His sudden change of demeanor, the softness in his gaze, the worry lacing his tone, took me off guard and I gaped at him for a few seconds, looking dumb.

“Oh—I’m—uhm—” I cleared my throat and shook my head as my cheeks turned pink, embarrassed, “I’m fine—uhm, thank you for—making him leave.”

“I’ve been watching you for a while now, things seemed tense, I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to you.” I felt my skin warm up at his words, finding it sweet. But how did I not notice somebody was watching us so closely? I was always good at singling people out, checking my surroundings and being alert of what was happening around me. Yet this man somehow managed to slip through unnoticed.

“Thank you,” I breathed out softly, finally gathering myself and continuing with my new plan, “He was—he’s not a bad man, you know…or so I thought.”

The stranger’s lips pulled into a line and he nodded understandingly, motioning with his hand for us to sit down, “Yeah, people can be quite deceiving—”

“You’re calling me dumb too?” I sniffed, lips quivering and the man quickly shook his head, eyes widening in panic.

“No, that’s really not what I’m trying to say!” He rushed out the words, looking rather cute, “I’m just saying that there’s evil people and they pray on innocent, unassuming people—”

“Like myself.” I finished the sentence for him and the man sighed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. His earrings were rather pretty as I had just noticed them, he had quite a few of those too.

“Sorry, that came off rather rude—”

“Can I buy you something?” I cut the man off, wiping my cheeks free of tears and shaking my head, acting as if I was trying to compose myself, “You did save me from that asshole after all.”

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t need anything—”

“But that’s unfair now…” I stared at him expectantly, waiting for a name.

“Hongjoong, Kim Hongjoong.” He extended his hand and I shook it firmly, whispering his name to myself, watching as his eyes fell on my lips for a second too long.

“Lee Y/N, nice to meet you.” I plastered on a small smile on my face, not releasing Hongjoong’s hand just yet. It was a trick which often worked on men, prolonged physical contact, a gaze lingering for a little too long…they always worked. And it was working right now as Hongjoong cleared his throat, looking a little flustered, as I finally released his hand and looked away shyly, letting my strawberry blonde hair fall against my face. I could see from the corner of my eye as Hongjoong’s eyes racked over my body, taking in my outfit and appearance, his eyes narrowing slightly. I certainly wasn’t dressed like an ordinary girl, but nobody ever truly figured out that I was a pirate. The clues were there, but they weren’t exactly obvious, one would think it was a preference to dress like this. And it really was. My black skirt, quite uneven at the ends, almost reached my ankles and my dark brown boots made of leather were rather worn at this point. The black cloth wrapped around my body was slightly peeking out from underneath the white off-shoulders breezy shirt I was wearing, a brown corset keeping everything in place. I had my favorite necklaces around my neck, always wearing them, but I dialed down on the bracelets I would normally wear. Rings weren’t something I liked wearing as I felt they restricted my grip when it came to holding a sword or dagger, however, they happened to come in quite handy when having to punch someone, the accessory leaving a rather nasty bruise on your opponent. The silence stretched on as Hongjoong placed his hands on the table, fingers intertwined and I couldn’t help but let my eyes fall on them. Hongjoong noticed and raised an eyebrow cheekily.

“You’re wearing quite a few rings…” I muttered, actually feeling embarrassed for being caught staring. My reaction made Hongjoong chuckle as he looked down at his own fingers, playing with the biggest ring on his forefinger. Something was carved on it, a letter.

“Personal preference, I guess.” Hongjoong said with a shrug and I hummed, noticing the waitress walking our way. I raised my hand shyly, avoiding Hongjoong’s eyes as he watched me curiously.

“How can I help you?” The waitress asked bored until she noticed Hongjoong sitting with me, her posture instantly straightening. I could understand, he was a very attractive man and he looked very upkept, something rare when it came to men. Most of them very dirty, smelly pigs. Even some of the rich ones.

“A bottle of wine would suffice for now.” I said, voice rather tight when this woman didn’t stop looking at Hongjoong, who seemed to be enjoying the attention. He smirked at her and cleared his throat, slightly tilting his head forward as if he was greeting her. My jaw clenched at the exchange and I had to hold back my glare as this woman was stealing the attention off of me, ruining my carefully designed plan. I had to be Hongjoong’s center of attention tonight, not anyone else.

“And some booze.” Hongjoong added with a wink as the waitress was just about to leave and I licked my dry lips, trying to keep a sneer off my face. This was ridiculous. When the woman was finally away, Hongjoong’s dark eyes fell on me, looking quite pleased with himself. It almost made me scoff but I quickly slipped back into character and looked away shyly, nervously playing with my fingers in my lap.

“You have that affect on all women?” I found myself asking quietly, actually curious. He could get anyone he wanted, and he definitely used that to his advantage, I wanted a confirmation in order to know how to approach him.

Hongjoong chuckled, almost sounding embarrassed, as he rubbed his chin, “You noticed?”

“It wasn’t hard to.” My response was too quick, too snappy, Hongjoong noticed too, so I cleared my throat and softened my voice again, “I’m just observant.”

“That’s good in a world like ours,” Hongjoong hummed, searching for eye contact with his intense gaze, “and yes, I tend to get that reaction when it comes to women.”

I chuckled softly, tucking a long strand of hair behind my ear, “It’s not very surprising since you’re a handsome man.”

A smirk appeared on Hongjoong lips as he leaned closer towards me, looking at me playfully, “Do you think I’m handsome?”

Before I could answer him, the waitress was back with our drinks, her eyes on Hongjoong only. I ignored her and took the tall glass for my wine roughly, making her glance at me surprised, another smirk appearing on Hongjoong’s lips. It was becoming irritating, the fact that he knew himself so well, the fact that he was using it on others.

“Thank you.” Hongjoong thanked the waitress and I didn’t miss the brush of his pinky finger against the woman’s hand and perhaps my grip on the wine bottle was a little too tight. If she wouldn’t leave in two seconds a dagger would be adorning the inside of her neck. But as I poured some wine for myself, she was finally gone and I could relax again, ignoring the amused look Hongjoong sent my way as he took a big sip of his booze. It was a vile thing; I did not like it. Wine was raffinate and came in various tastes, besides it was good for your health too unlike that strong, repulsive thing Hongjoong was drinking.

“You don’t like booze?” He asked with a chuckle and I fixed my expression, shaking my head as I took a sip of my own red wine, “Your grimace told me all about it.”

I chuckled shyly and looked down, finding it hard to act different in front of this man. My true nature wanted to come through badly, sensing he was a strong person, challenging my own ego.

“What brings you here tonight, Kim Hongjoong?” I asked with a smile, breaking the silence which seemed to fall upon us, his sharp eyes watching me carefully. I felt like I was performing an important task and a figure of authority was here to evaluate me, criticize me for the work I had done. And if I slipped, if I did the smallest mistake, he would notice. Hongjoong would know it was all an act, my fingers itching to steal all of that pricey jewelry adorning his body. If I wouldn’t get that emerald necklace from Juyeon anymore, I sure needed to get something else and the provider was sitting right in front of me.

“Just needed a distraction, you know.” He answered casually, taking a sip of his booze before he placed the glass back down, “It gets lonely when you’re a traveler sometimes. You know, you become stiff and I’m still young. I want to live a little.”

His story didn’t sound very authentic, the way he delivered it seemed very rehearsed and the way he averted his gaze told me he was lying. But I hummed and nodded understandingly, looking at my glass. The way he said traveler…didn’t sit right with me. What was he?

“Do you work, Hongjoong?” I asked curiously, watching the way he oh so slightly stiffened. There it was, I caught onto his lie.

“When I find something worth my time, yeah.” It was an ambiguous answer, “I get bored easily and I’m good at many things, so, there’s no reason for me to settle on one thing, you know?”

“Must be nice to have that luxury.” I chuckled and took a sip of my wine, our gazes connecting for a second before I looked away.

“What’s your story, Y/N?” Hongjoong asked as he leaned over the table, elbows resting on it, his hands pushed towards me as he held the glass, playing with it. I fixed my expression and smiled sadly, looking him in the eyes, having been waiting for this moment. I had just the perfect story for him.

“Well,” I shrugged and hesitated for a second, “my grandparents live here and I moved in with them when I was ten, so, there’s that. All my life I wished to study and travel the world, become a cartographer but my grandparents didn’t have the financial support for that nor the will to encourage my dream. They are traditional, you know, a woman belongs in the kitchen, inside the house and her only job should be to give birth to many kids. I didn’t want that, so I ran away, but quickly realized I had nothing so I had to return—”

I cleared my throat and blinked the tears away, watching as Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed at my pathetic and sob, fake, story, “It’s embarrassing, really, but I started mingling with the wrong people. I just want to find love, you know. True love. And it’s very hard because I’m past that age and no man wants me anymore…so, I—I suffice with whatever I find, you know. I thought, I really thought this time that Juyeon was the love of my life, but he lied to me. I didn’t even know he was married until tonight. I’m so ashamed. What if his wife found out? What if the people find out? What will be made of me—”

I hiccupped as a stray tear ran down my cheek and suddenly, big and warm palms wrapped around my hands, Hongjoong’s gaze melting into mine, “Hey, calm down.”

His voice had softened a big amount, he was talking quietly, reassuringly, “You’re not too old and nobody will say anything about you. Don’t let anyone get to you, Y/N, you’re your own master and you’re capable of anything you put your mind to, alright? And you’re too pretty to die alone, so, stop worrying about that.”

“You think I’m pretty?” I asked with a small smile as I suddenly flipped my palms and intertwined my fingers with Hongjoong’s, his eyes falling on them. He gulped and shook his head with a smirk, looking back up in my eyes.

“Yeah, I think you’re very pretty.” The flush on my cheeks wasn’t from the wine, nor was it fake, I actually blushed. I couldn’t help but smile wider at him, my stomach doing weird flips as his calloused fingers suddenly started rubbing my knuckles slowly, his eyes narrowing just slightly. He was too handsome and he knew too damn well what he was doing, it was dangerous. I could feel the wine seeping inside my system already, the room around us slightly hazy. If I wasn’t careful enough I’d become drunk, and then, my plan wouldn’t be carried out, only a mistake would be done. And I couldn’t let that happen. Not tonight.

So, I averted my eyes and pressed my finger against the biggest ring he owned, with the letter A engraved in it, I could see it now, “This one’s really pretty.”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow as I looked at him through my eyelashes and he gulped, lightly pulling his hands away, the warmth disappear with him. He gave me a glance before he slipped his ring off, pushing it towards me on the surface of the table. My eyes widened as I looked at the ring then at him, not quite knowing what to do next.

“You can take it for the night.” He muttered lowly, his eyes slightly darkening as I bit my lower lip, trying to fight my imagination from running wild because of the implication in his words. I took the ring and slipped it onto my middle finger, a little big for me, but its weight a reminder to never lose it. It seemed important as I inspected it, feeling something engraved in the inside of it too, making a mental note to look at that later.

            As time passed, more drinks settled on our table than empty bottles were taken away, our systems infusing with the alcohol we kept downing as if it were water. Sometime ago, my head started spinning, the room a bit hazy if I tried looking around, making me realize I have drunk more than enough, walking on the thin line of being tipsy or drunk. But I dialed down on the strong drinks, opted for water for half an hour now, slightly feeling better. The line of boundaries seemed to have blurred a long time ago too as Hongjoong was basically all over me, laughing loudly at almost everything I said as he wouldn’t stop drinking his booze, which I had secretly swapped with water ten minutes ago. He had yet to notice, too caught up in the story he tried telling for the second time. He was hilarious and as the alcohol loosened him up, he stopped being so intimidating, his intense gaze lightening, cat-like eyes smiling at me each time we locked eyes. I tried to stop myself, but it was futile, as Hongjoong’s hand would grip my thigh quite frequently, holding onto it before he would gesture with his hands again, and I couldn’t help but heat up, stomach flipping at each unintentional touch. Or perhaps it was intentional…it probably was as Hongjoong’s head dipped lower, lips grazing against the shell of my ear, making me freeze.

“Please don’t tell me you’re actually interested in whatever bullshit story I’ve been telling you for the past hour.” His words took me off guard and my mind instantly went to the worst-case scenario. He figured out that I was a pirate and I planned on robbing him, but when suddenly his hand was on my thigh again, a lot higher than before, and squeezing firmly, I couldn’t find my words nor any cohering thoughts, “Because I know you’ve switched my booze with water, Y/N, and quite frankly I’m bored of sitting here and entertaining you like this.”

All I could do was gulp and stare at the wall, trying not to shudder when his finger started rubbing circles into my thigh, “Then—then how else—could you entertain me?”

A beat of silence passed between us as I pulled my head back, our gazes connecting as Hongjoong leaned incredibly close, his lips ghosting over mine, breath fanning my face, “Fucking you sounds a lot better than sitting here and pretending we’re interested in what the other one has to say.”

I couldn’t help but let out a breath in disbelief, body lightly shaking as I felt like I was electrocuted, feeling hot all over and mind reeling. This really wasn’t going according to my plan, all I had to do was steal his shit once he got wasted, but his words awakened the want I’ve been trying to repress ever since my eyes fell on him. All softness was gone from his deep eyes, staring at me like he wanted to devour me right then and there, in front of everyone. I bit my lip at the thought and Hongjoong’s eyes fell on them, his nose twitching as he licked his own lips, yet didn’t move an inch. It felt like torture, being so close, yet he felt so far away. I probably should’ve refused him and walked out of that Inn, but I didn’t. My body didn’t want me to leave, my brain was screaming at me to let him have his way with me. I was tipsy, yet I felt so hyperaware of everything around me, of his grip burning my skin, his eyes undressing me and his lips so close they were almost touching.

“What are you waiting for?” I managed to whisper out as Hongjoong smirked once my words got to his brain, his hand disappearing like lightning from my thigh, chair pushed back as he was up on his feet. I couldn’t even blink as a grip on my forearm pulled me up and I was led away from the bar area, rushed towards the stairs. We haven’t paid for our drinks yet, but it seemed like nobody really cared as we disappeared up the stairs, Hongjoong almost running, tugging me along. It was a little bit funny and I couldn’t help but giggle as Hongjoong tried opening all the doors until he finally found an empty room, throwing me a cheeky smile as he walked us inside, door slamming shut quickly. We didn’t have a key, but we didn’t need one. It didn’t seem like we’d take too long either way as Hongjoong started unbuttoning his black vest, stare pinning me against my spot. I mirrored him and started undoing the lace of my corset, making Hongjoong’s eyes wander down my torso, gulping as I got rid of the piece of clothing, letting it fall next to me on the floor. Hongjoong’s vest was abandoned and he undid the buttons of his white shirt messily, hissing when his fingers wouldn’t work as he wished, making me chuckle. I didn’t bother unbuttoning my shirt, just raised it overhead, making Hongjoong bite his lip as he took my body in. I gripped the skirt on both sides of my hips before pushing it down, remaining in nothing but my underwear, stockings, and the black cloth wrapped around my torso providing warmth and restricting my breasts from getting in my way. I preferred it that way, men took you more seriously when your breasts weren’t hanging in their faces. Hongjoong was about to undo the belt on his pants when his eyes fell on me once again and he sucked in a harsh breath, abandoning his initial actions. He stalked towards me, eyes never leaving mine, until he was all up in my face, warmth radiating off his body. I almost stepped back, intimidated by his proximity, but I stood my ground and stared him down, waiting for him to make the first step, but he didn’t. He was teasing me as he smirked, eyes running over my face, chuckling before I felt his hands on my waist, gripping me, pulling me flushed against his firm body. I gasped as his warmth enveloped mine, his naked torso gaining my attention as I looked down, taking in the muscles of his tanned skin, his chest very well worked. Our eyes connected once again and no more precious seconds were waisted as our lips crashed against each other, not soft at all as they moved against each other vigorously, trying to settle for a satisfying pace, but nothing was good enough as we devoured each other hungrily, whining into the kiss when Hongjoong’s fingers dug into my skin, pressing against my hip bones. My hands explored his naked torso, dragging and pressing against his burning skin, trying to feel each muscle as Hongjoong walked me backwards until my back hit the wall, caging me against it with his strong arms.

My hands explored his back and I scratched down his scapula’s with my nails, earning a groan from him as he bit my lower lip, pulling back breathlessly, my chest rising and falling rapidly. I wasted no more time and started undoing the belt of his pants, Hongjoong’s lips finding my neck as he started pressing slow, sensual, kisses down to my collarbones, where he sucked on the skin harshly, earning a hiss from me as I pushed his head slightly back, glaring at him. I didn’t want any type of marks on my body left by him, or anyone else, but it seemed like Hongjoong was rather amused as he grabbed the back of my head and licked my lips, taunting me, my glare deepening as I tugged harshly against his belt, our bodies colliding again. That seemed to wipe off the amused smirk of his face as I slowly, teasingly, undid the lace of his pants, not quite pushing it off his hips. Hongjoong watched me as I smirked this time and sneaked my hand inside his pants, lightly brushing against his member, surprised that he wore no underwear. It was daring. Hongjoong groaned as my fingers lightly grazed the tip and he pressed his lips against mine again as I took a hold of his member, slowly pumping it. His kiss was messy, our teeth clanking together, as Hongjoong moved his hips, thrusting into my hand wrapped around him, whining when I squeezed down on it and fastened the pace. He pressed a short kiss after kiss against my lips, muttering profanities against my lips as his eyebrows furrowed, bucking up faster as I settled on a fast pace, his whimpers getting throaty and until he started whispering for me to stop, biting my earlobe when I didn’t listen to him.

“Stop, I’m so close—” He snapped against my ear, grabbing my throat harshly, making my breath hitch as his sounds and ministrations got to me, body feeling hot as I slowed the pace of my hand, Hongjoong freezing, his member twitching. He was panting as he pulled back to look at me, my lips parted in anticipation and suddenly I felt his thumb moving against my neck, until it was pressing against my chin, then my lower lip, parting my lips more for him. I couldn’t breathe as we held eye contact, his thumb finally slipping inside my mouth, my lips latching around it, ever so slowly starting to suck on it. His pupils were blown wide, lips parted in pleasure before his jaw clenched, eyes never leaving mine as I swirled my tongue around his thumb, his hips bucking into my hand once again.

“Fuck.” He spat before grabbing my wrist with his other hand, pulling it out of his pants, giving me a warning glare about touching him again as he started pushing his own pants down, my lips still wrapped around his thumb, sucking and licking it. I couldn’t help but grin as he moaned quietly and pulled his thumb out of my mouth, pants pooling around his ankles. Standing naked in front of me, the man was gorgeous. His tan skin glistened with light sweat, body flushed and pupils blown wide as he found the top of my stockings before he yanked them down, pulling my underwear off too in the process. I gasped as the coldness hit the lower half of my body and his thigh was pressed between my legs, making me gulp as his lips found my neck again. He started licking at the skin, eliciting a sigh as his thigh flexed against me and with a hand firmly placed against my hips, he rolled them forward, the friction making my breathing stutter for a second. My nerves felt on fire as I allowed Hongjoong to set the pace, one which was incredibly slow, making the hairs on my arms stand as it felt torturous. I needed more, something faster, but Hongjoong hissed when I tried to move on my own, making me whine loudly as he chuckled against the skin of my neck. I didn’t even notice it when he bit down on my skin, too focused on the burning of my lower region, clenching around nothing as I was starting to grow relentless, desperate. His teeth pierced my skin and I moaned as Hongjoong finally quickened the pace, juices coating his muscular thigh as I threw my head back, the friction finally enough. But it didn’t last for long as his thigh was gone and lips too, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked at him confused, only to feel his strong hands gripping my thighs before I was hoisted up, legs wrapping around his hips firmly as his member pocked at my entrance.

“Please.” I whispered as I looked at Hongjoong, running my fingers through his hair until I gripped the end tightly, yanking our heads close together. Hongjoong bit my lower lip as I felt his tip pushing against my entrance and I gasped as he finally pushed inside, his length stretching my walls like no one’s before. My back was flushed against the wall as Hongjoong leaned into me, setting a pace before he was even fully in, not quite fast nor slow, just right at the moment. I tried to stay silent with each one of his strong thrusts, but it was rather difficult as he was sharp, starting to quicken the pace. My head was thrown back against the wall, lips parted as quiet moans started escaping, Hongjoong’s lips brushing my Adam’s apple as he was panting, body crushing mine as if our closeness wasn’t enough already. My senses were heightened and it felt like pure bliss as he finally set a faster pace, the pitch of my voice raising as I felt Hongjoong’s eyes on my face, his lips red and plump from all the kissing and biting. My fingers tightened in his hair more, making him gasp lightly as suddenly my chin was gripped harshly, yanking my head down. His lips crashed against mine and his tongue was in my mouth, licking at my teeth, exploring my mouth like his life depended on it. I started meeting his thrusts, but it still wasn’t enough, I needed more as my release was building up, but not quite there yet. Hongjoong whined into my mouth as I clenched around him and I pulled back, gripping his cheeks as we gazed into each other’s eyes.

“I need more.” I whispered breathless and Hongjoong nodded, suddenly pushing all the way in, his movements ceasing. It felt torturous as my body burned, yearning for more, needing to release soon all the built-up tension. He let out the quietest breath when I clenched around him again, lightly trying to move my hips, but his bigger body had me mobilized between himself and the wall. This was not my idea of more, and before I could complain about it, he held me firmly against himself and suddenly pulled me off the wall, turning and walking towards the bed. I held onto him tightly, arms around his neck as I started leaving kisses behind his ear, making his member twitch inside me, grinning against his skin. Hongjoong groaned when he felt it and for a second I was falling backwards, back placed carefully against a soft surface. The bedsheets were cold and I shivered as I looked up at Hongjoong, who was looking down at me with a different glint in his eyes. It looked like adoration, almost, and it made me gulp nervously. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything towards him, he was simply my prey and I was playing my part in the game he started by approaching me when I was still with Juyeon. He still didn’t move as he leaned down, and suddenly it felt too intimate as his lips pressed softly against mine, the kiss slow like never before, lips moving against mine in a tender manner, heating up the skin of my face. It made me feel guilty all of a sudden, how unassuming he was; I’ve never ever felt bad before for one of my victims. As he went to pull back, I gripped his cheeks and pulled him back down, placing a newfound passion into my kiss, tongue slipping into his mouth as he slowly started moving his hips again, the movement drawn out, sensual. It elicited a moan instantly from my lips, and Hongjoong took my left hand and intertwined our fingers as he pressed it down next to my head. My other hand tangled in the long strands of his hair as his free one found my hips and suddenly, his pace became vicious, restless as he started pounding into me, toes curling and head thrown back as moan after moan slipped from my lips. My legs hooked around his hips and I met his thrusts, his finger painfully pushing into the ring he gave me, a reminder that I was still wearing it. Hongjoong’s moans mixed with mine as I started clenching around him, so so close to finishing, and when his thumb brushed against my clit I was gone for, eyes rolling back as I came undone, the sensations overwhelming as he rode out my high with me before pulling out and with a few strokes to his dick finishing on my stomach.

I was still panting, coming down from the high as I stared at the ceiling, body flushed and Hongjoong’s hand in mine screaming at me that I couldn’t let my feelings get to me right now. Not tonight. Suddenly, his eyes found mine and he smiled as he leaned down, pressing a kiss against my forehead, making my eyebrows furrow as he finally got off me, my body shivering at the sudden coldness wrapping around me. I watched him as he looked around in the room before finding a towel and walking back to me, cleaning me up and muttering a small sorry, as if pulling out wasn’t smarter than finishing inside of me. But I remained silent and allowed him to pull me up in a sitting position as we stared down each other, seemingly not knowing what to do next. The drunken haze was somewhat gone from his eyes, signaling that he was perhaps just tipsy now, if not sober. Robbing him right now would be too difficult, so I opted for the last resort I had on me as a backup plan. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards me as I crawled back, laying down, making him lay down next to me. Hongjoong smiled and brushed the hair out of my eyes as we lay facing each other, smiling. My stomach dropped a little bit, but I ignored the sensation and focused on how much I was blushing as Hongjoong caressed my cheek and giggled as if I said something funny, making me raise my eyebrows at him but he just shook his head.

“Where are you from?” He asked quietly as he played with my hair and I sighed, not wanting to give away too much, but finding the moment so intimate that all of my walls were down, something which rarely happened.

“The North.” I whispered and looked away, not quite wanting to see his reaction. The North Kingdom was known for being rather ruthless and its people cold and barbaric. And it was all true. We really were that way. Our rules were strict and demanded to be followed, if anyone dared disobey them they would certainly face a painful death. We didn’t beat around the bush and were straight-up people. Many didn’t like the lifestyle, however, and found refuge in the neighboring Kingdoms, yet I found peace in the stern rules, in the familiar routine. If everything was so chaotic like in the rest of the Kingdoms, especially the South, how could people easily fall asleep? How would they not worry about what they’d do tomorrow? Nothing was certain and I couldn’t live with that. Sometimes I’d get homesick and we’d return home, but we weren’t exactly welcomed anymore. Our land didn’t treat the defectors kindly, once word got around you’d get shone away in best case scenario. And my parents knew what I was, a pirate. They would never welcome me back inside their house, their only child was a menace to society, a shame on the Lee family’s name. I wouldn’t be surprised if they told everyone I had died in the war we got deflected to so many years ago when I was just a child. The southern islands of our Kingdom always fought back against our harsh rules and demanded lesser sentences, but the Queen wasn’t having it. Therefore a war broke out between the mainland and southern islands which lasted for three years, our Queen giving in to her people, and giving them partially the freedom they wished for.

“Nothing to be ashamed of,” Hongjoong’s quiet voice brought me back from my thoughts, eyebrows raising slightly as I hadn’t heard what he said previously, “Being from the North, I mean. I have a friend who’s the nicest and most caring sailor I have ever known, and he’s strong too. Stereotypes exist, but it doesn’t mean you are just like them.”

I gulped and found myself slightly smiling at Hongjoong, his comforting words surprising. He didn’t seem like the type who cared much about others feelings up until now.

“We feel deeply, but we don’t like showing it to others…we see it as a burden, you know?” I found myself explaining it to Hongjoong and he hummed, caressing my cheek again with a fond smile.

“I know, my friend said the same thing.” He chuckled and I buried my head in the pillow, trying to hide my big smile, ignoring my brain screaming at me that I wasn’t following the plan at all. Sometimes it felt nice letting the heart get what it wanted.

“Do you happen to be obsessed with mermaids as well?” I pulled my head away from the pillow and looked at Hongjoong with raised eyebrows as I shook my head, “Ah, thought everyone was obsessed with it from your little Kingdom—”

“The Sun Set Kingdom is the smallest.” I narrowed my eyes at Hongjoong and he chuckled, amused by how triggered I got. Yes, the north was small but the island surrounding it made it larger than the Sun Set Kingdom, so it was unfair we got called the smallest kingdom, “And yes, my people are quite the believers when it comes to folklore, but I guess it depends on your upbringing too.” And my parents believed in nothing divine, calling it a waste of time as no Gods could help, only you could help yourself.

“I’m from the Sun Rise Kingdom.” Hongjoong muttered with a sigh, turning onto his back, hands behind his head, “I guess we’re both far away from home.”

I hummed and turned on my back too, eyes surveying the dark room, finding some water and glasses on a dresser. I cleared my throat and sat up, the weight of Hongjoong’s ring on my finger quite distracting as I walked towards the dresser. I could feel Hongjoong’s eyes on me as I poured water for the both of us, slipping some white powder from one of my necklaces into the left glass. I waited for it to dissolve before I turned around, sipping from my own glass as I walked towards Hongjoong. He sat up, leaning against the headboard and accepted the glass of water with gratitude.

“May I ask why are you wearing that?” He asked as he gulped down his water, eyes on the black cloth wrapped tightly around my body. I smiled and sat down, taking his empty glass and placing it on the floor.

“Well, I guess it’s for hiding my feminine figure?” I shrugged, finishing my glass of water, “Some of the jobs I do aren’t very female friendly and I can pass as a boy if I wear the right clothing with this, you know?”

“Nobody as pretty as you would pass as a boy.” Hongjoong chuckled and I rolled my eyes embarrassed.

“Trust me, I can camouflage myself very well.”

“And what is this mystery job you have?” I pursed my lips and watched as his blinks got longer, eyelids heavier and heavier. The amount of powder I slipped in his water would knock him out any minute now.

I chuckled and watched as Hongjoong tried lifting his arms, futile, “I’m a con-artist, let’s say.”

His eyes found mine but he didn’t say anything as his breathing slowed, eyelids falling shut, lips parting as his body went numb. I smiled sadly at him and got off the bed, dressing myself back up, looking like nothing even happened. I walked to Hongjoong’s side and adjusted him in a comfortable position before pulling the blanket over him, tracing his lips with my finger. My eyes fell on the ring I was still wearing and I took it off, bringing it up to my face. I turned it and tried to see what was carved on the inside, fingers running over it. The letter A and then…teez? Ateez? I paused for a second, looking down at the sleeping man. Kim Hongjoong. The ring with the letter A carved on it. Ateez carved inside of it. My eyes widened as I almost dropped the ring, looking at Hongjoong with slight fear pulsing through my veins. Had I just slept with The Slayer? The captain of the Ateez pirate crew? Oh, this was a turn of events even in my wildest dreams I wouldn’t have expected to happen. I looked around the room, hurrying to grab Hongjoong’s pants in search of gold or money. He did have a few coins on him, a lot less than I was expecting. I hissed as I looked back at the man and at the ring in my hand before I walked over and placed it on top of the pillow where I was supposed to be sleeping. But as I was about to leave, the black pearl necklace around his pretty neck caught my attention and I didn’t stop myself from taking what I wanted. I carefully took it off him and placed it around my own neck, staring down at it in awe. I’ve always wanted a pearl necklace, but they were too expensive and too hard to find, especially the black ones, they were rare. Without another glance at the man sleeping in the bed, I walked out the door, leaving our little escapade behind me, never to mention it to anyone.

            But things were never easy, especially for women as nobody took them seriously in a highly male dominated field. Being a pirate was hard, but being a woman pirate was even harder. Nobody wanted to do business with you, nobody wanted to strike deals with you and nobody would sell you weapons. So, forced to fend for ourselves in different ways, we started robbing other ships in the middle of the night, creating a fearful reputation for ourselves while acquiring provision and munition for ourselves. Our crew and ship grew with the passing of time and as we started establishing ourselves on the market, they nicknamed us The Nightfury. Sailors and pirates alike feared us once they learned about us as we’d attack them in the middle of the sea, leaving them with nothing, assuring them a painful death if they didn’t get to land in three days. And they usually didn’t. We tried not to be harsh, but we were forced by the men around us. They thought they could do anything to us without facing repercussions, and so that had to be proven wrong by us. And despite becoming quite successful in the past four years, there was still a thorn in our side. Ateez. The most feared pirate crew of the four seas and four kingdoms. No matter where we went, they had been there just before us, wreaking havoc and leaving nothing behind, nothing for us to find. And that just wouldn’t do anymore. I’ve had enough of always getting their sloppy seconds, so I devised a new plan. One which was working marvelously. Thanks to my extraordinary acting talent, I managed to charm a few of their investors and merchants into giving us their goods for a slightly lower price and still taxing Ateez with their old price while selling them second-made goods, sometimes even fake ones. Irene, my second in hand, had warned me that it wouldn’t be long until the notorious pirate crew caught on to our scams, but I opted not to listen to her. I had fooled Kim Hongjoong once, who would say I couldn’t do it twice? And so I did, so blatantly out in the open, right under his nose. He was always so close, yet never close enough to catch us. He even sent assassins our way, sent his most loyal dog Choi San, but all the damage he managed to do was stab a very humanlike looking pillow and blanket laying in a bed, on the highest floor of the Inn I supposedly resided in. Joy and I sipped on our drinks as we watched him from the window from across the Inn, laughing when he looked around in confusion, realizing he had been fooled. Choi San never made mistakes, yet here he was, outsmarted by two playful women, who played these eight fools as if they were their own puppets. Joy and I clanked our glasses together before downing our wine, turning back to the real deal we had to focus on, the two rich men tied up with tons of money falling out of their pockets. Ah, we had quite the productive night that evening. But what I failed to realize, despite Irene’s frequent warning, was that once someone made Kim Hongjoong furious, they would end up facing his wrath. And when that happened, it would hurt. A lot. But I felt comfortable, too safe, unknowing that he was gaining advantage on me minute by minute. But I started this dangerous game, and the inciter never backed down.

            Present time

            There was something different about the Sun Rise Kingdom. The air itself felt warmer, the wind never too harsh, the soil softer than anywhere else. You would never smell anything foul, not even at the markets, and the people were always smiling. Always so nice, and always so trusting. I had to say, they were the most gullible and unfortunately, they were our easiest prey. I loved the Sun Rise Kingdom, not because of how easy we had it here, but because everything was so inviting, so accepting. In the past four years our crew grew significantly big and people recognized us. Our faces were plastered everywhere in the Sun Set Kingdom on wanted posters, constables constantly trying to catch us. They seemed to hate us the most out of all the Kingdoms and, perhaps, I couldn’t blame them as once we accidentally almost burned down the only inhibited island they happen to have. It was an accident, of course, we aren’t cruel like that, but they wouldn’t understand that no matter how many times we’d try explaining it to them. After realizing that it was futile making peace with them, we soon started giving up on that Kingdom, closing our deals with the merchants, keeping only our most important investors. This came in quite handy for Ateez, of course, as they got richer and richer, taking away one of our most important ammunition resource’s. But my crew was very talented and cunning, we managed to smuggle a few guns still from them, a spy who owed her life to me always lurking in the shadows, helping us out whenever we needed something important from over there.

We had arrived to the Sun Rise Kingdom a week ago and treated it as a little vacation as all of us had been tired from restlessly sailing the seas, almost losing our lives when a storm hit us while we were traveling through the Raging Sea. It was a bad idea sailing through it, but we’ve done it before and were lucky enough to avoid any storms, our navigator, Wendy, rather talented at her job. Everything was going smoothly so far, no run ins with the constables, nobody bothered us for the most part, a merchant even offered a good deal for us upon hearing we were in town, and the men in this bustling town were rather good looking, pockets and pouches heavy with coins. It truly felt like we were on a resort, finally enjoying our lives for a little bit, young and hungry for more. But our safe heaven didn’t last for long as two days ago Irene came barging inside my room as I was reading through a letter Siwon, an older smuggler from the Sun Set Kingdom, had sent a week ago. He found some ancient looking jewelry and he wanted to make sure they were authentic before selling them, offering to give us half of the payment if I helped him out. Greed was a bad thing, but I wouldn’t turn down such a nice offer.

The door to my room was slammed open, crashing into the wall harshly as I jumped up from my seat with a wildly beating heart, “They are here!”

I watched my second-in-command, Irene, pant as her long black hair fell in her eyes, “Who are here?”

I watched her with a confused expression as I placed a palm over my racing heart, giving her a small glare for scaring the living daylight out of me. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me like I was crazy.

“Ateez!” Her normally quiet voice turned shrill as it rose a few octaves, her normally composed nature completely disappearing. Ateez. My jaw clenched as I leaned against my desk, huffing.

“Of course they are here,” I muttered, as Irene stepped inside my room and hastily closed the door behind her, “I can never rest for too long, can I?”

“This is bad.” Irene said gravelly as she started pacing around my room, “You know this is bad, Y/N, we must leave. Right now. If they find out where we reside, you know they will come after us—”

“Will you relax for a second?!” I snapped, Irene’s anxiety rubbing off on me as I threw her a glare, sitting back down in my chair, “We’re supposed to be leaving in three days if we want to get to the Sun Set Kingdom in two weeks.”

“What?” Irene’s eyebrows furrowed as she neared me, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, “Sun Set Kingdom—what are you talking about?”

I smiled at her confusion, her eyebrows scrunching up, her intimidating face looking rather cute as I grabbed the letter from Siwon and handed it to her. She took it and read it quickly, sighing as she looked back at me. I could read the exhaustion in her eyes, almost pleading to stay put for a little longer. We were supposed to go up North for a while, visit her family as they hadn’t given up on their daughter like mine have. Irene was homesick, and so was I, but this…this would be big. Siwon giving us half of the payment meant we could lay low for at least half a year, find a nice spot somewhere and just live quietly, rest. All of us wanted that, after all, the crew has worked hard to get to where we were now.

“Please,” Irene’s voice lowered, the letter clutched tightly between her fingers, “do we really need to go? It’s Siwon, you know he’s not trustworthy. He fucked us over last time too, Y/N, shouldn’t you think this through first?”

I shook my head and took the letter from her, turning to face my desk as I had readied to write back to Siwon before Irene came barging inside my room, “We could be free for half a year, Irene, if we do this. Jewels are our forte and he knows that, that’s why he’s asking for our help. I promise to head up North straight afterwards—”

“And sail through the Icy Sea?” Irene tsked and gave me a look, “No.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at her, “What do you mean, no?”

“You heard me right,” Her voice turned serious and her expression hardened. I knew what was coming, “I’m your second-in-command and I refuse to go to the Sun Set Kingdom. I refuse to sail through the Icy Sea.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing that she meant none of that, “Go find yourself a different crew then.”

I turned to grab my pen as I was smacked hard across the back of my head, making me let out a loud yelp, whipping my head around to glare at Irene, “You bitch—”

“Shut up,” Irene snapped, leaning down to be eye level with me, “I don’t know why I keep putting up with you, but for once in your fucking life, listen to me. Ateez is in the same town with us, Y/N, and Hongjoong wants you dead. We have to leave.”

I just smiled at Irene and placed a hand over hers, squeezing it reassuringly, “And how many times did he already try to kill me? Don’t worry, we’re safe—I’m safe. Tell the other girls we’re leaving in three days to meet with Siwon. And then we head to the North, through the Barren Sea.”

Irene sighed loudly as she shook her head at me, but I knew she was thankful for at least avoiding the Icy Sea. She hated that place; it took her brother’s life when they were only children. We’d have to sail a lot more if we wanted to go through the Barren Sea, but I’d do anything for Irene to make her feel safe. She was my second-in-command after all, I did have to respect her requests and opinions. And as a dear friend to her, I didn’t want to antagonize her too much if I could. I smiled at her brightly, and she rolled her eyes as she straightened and pulled her hand away from mine, headed for the door, throwing me a small glare before she was out the room, making me chuckle to myself as I picked up my pen, ready to write back to Siwon.

            But there was a reason why Irene was my second-in-command. I was brazen and most of times didn’t think things through, meanwhile she was calculated and very smart, taking every possible outcome into consideration before proceeding with her actions. This was a prime example as to why I should listen to her more often, but one doesn’t actually learn until something very bad happens. And that very bad thing happened just the night before our departure from the lively town we resided in for the past week. Everyone was ready, getting their last peaceful sleep before we’d set off, my evening a little bit more eventful as I had found a man down at the bar and decided to charm him, because why not? We’d be setting off and wouldn’t be around men for a long time. It was nothing too impressive, but he got the job done and I even managed to steal his pricey looking wristwatch. Ever since sleeping with Hongjoong, nobody seemed to be as good as him. It’s like he altered something inside of me so that I’d never find true pleasure and satisfaction in other men. It happened four years ago, yet I could still recall that night as if it had happened just yesterday. It was infuriating and frustrating to have someone always in the back of your mind, especially when that someone hated you and wanted you dead. I couldn’t lie, I felt quite resentful towards him as well, our feud throughout the years making me wish I could slice his neck with a dagger. But we never saw each other since that night, his dirty work carried out by someone else for him, however, I didn’t bother doing the same, knowing very well it was a lot more painful if his assets were the ones dissipating right in front of his eyes. People would call me greedy, but he wasn’t so different.

It hadn’t been long since I had settled into bed, getting comfortable as I let out a long sigh, the silky surface of the blanket soft against my skin. This bed was a lot more comfortable than the one I had on the ship and it made me ponder for a second whether I should just steal the sheets for a nicer sleep on the ship. The thought almost made me laugh as I snuggled my head against the puffy pillow, strawberry blonde hair falling over my face. My body was soft, mind slowly shutting down as I allowed myself to relax in the safety of my room. But that didn’t last for long as something hard crashed against the window and I jumped up in a sitting position, heart hammering in my chest. My eyes fell on the huge rock which sat on the wooden floor of my room and before I could really think about it, a dark head appeared outside my window. My body tensed up and I threw the covers off my body as the person climbed through the window, boots crunching against the broken glass on the floor. I grabbed the dagger off my nightstand and looked at the figure menacingly, never one to back down from a fight. It was dark, I couldn’t exactly see their face, not that it mattered much who it was. But for a second, as our gazes connected, my breath faltered and the silence around us was too loud. I could recognize those eyes anywhere. He took one step further inside the room, features more visible, clearer to see, easier to recognize. A face, which was more mature now, more defined, chiseled. My stomach dropped as I watched Hongjoong step further inside the room, looking around nonchalantly. His face was expressionless yet his eyes were harsh, and I gulped as my grip tightened on my dagger. He’s never came in person before. Always sent someone else. Irene was right, we should’ve left three days ago. I was backing towards the door when Hongjoong’s cat-like eyes settled on me again, a sinister smirk spreading onto his lips, eyes widening slightly. In the darkness of the room, he looked utterly scary. My heart was beating too fast and I found myself breathing quickly, realizing I was losing my composure. He looked stronger; his body so much more muscular, wider. Fuck.

“Lee Y/N.” He spat my name out with venom lacing his voice and I froze for a second, surprised by it. Did he really hate me this much? That wasn’t too good.

“Kim Hongjoong.” I was nonchalant, played it off. I refused to show him that I was shaken up, limbs slightly trembling from the stress. Hongjoong’s face suddenly lost all expression as he stared at me blankly, taking me in for the first time since he’s stepped inside the room. Suddenly, I felt too exposed, vulnerable, as his eyes found mine again. I was wearing nothing but my undergarment and a white shirt which was too big for my frame, the top unbuttoned, falling in a deep V-neck.

It happened fast, I almost didn’t react, as Hongjoong lurched towards me and I jumped back, eyes widening when I noticed the big knife in his hand. Oh, he came here prepared and determined. I gulped as his head slowly turned towards me; hand extended forward as he eyed my dagger. I was outpowered, he didn’t even have to disarm me for me to know. The hatred in his eyes, his ripe muscles, and the adrenaline coursing through his veins could bring my dismay tonight. But I didn’t let those thoughts get to me. If Choi San couldn’t kill me, Kim Hongjoong wouldn’t either. So, instead of waiting for him to attack again, I sprung towards him, dagger raised high as I went to stab him. He blocked the attack with his knife, instantly slicing, my skin burning where he had cut me. I gasped, taken aback, but before I could react he was moving his hand again, forcing me to defend myself as the knife cut my thigh, making me growl as I snapped my head up to glare at him. Hongjoong seemed unphased as he wiped the blood off his knife onto his pants, looking at me with a smug smirk, advancing towards me once again. I panicked for a second and sliced through the air, halting his movements, to my luck, giving me enough momentum to knock the knife out of his hand as I raised my leg, kicking his wrist. Hongjoong didn’t wince, didn’t make a sound. He just looked at his knife before taking off towards me again, making me curse to myself. He was unstoppable, he really cared about one thing only, and that was to kill me. I jabbed towards him, but he just blocked the attack and soon I found my wrist twisted, a cry leaving my lips, as my dagger clattered onto the ground. Hongjoong’s other hand raised but I quickly slapped it away and tried to free my wrist, but I couldn’t. His grip was painfully strong, making me grit my teeth as I tried punching him with my free hand, but he ducked down as if it was nothing. He was angering me. He was letting me use my energy so he’d attack when I was tired, so I stopped, and stared him down. He twisted a little more of my wrist and I almost hissed, but I bit my lip instead and refused to show any weakness. Hongjoong didn’t seem to like that as he swiftly grabbed my neck with his other hand and squeezed hard, making my eyes widen as I clawed at his hand, the air leaving my lungs quickly as I was unprepared for such an attack. And then he slammed me into the wall, knocking out all the air from my lungs, making me choke up as I tried to push him off desperately, feeling helpless as he just watched me blankly.

My lungs started to burn and I hated myself as I looked at him with a pleading look, trying to pull his hand off, but it was futile. And just as I started seeing dark spots around me, his grip loosened up and the air rushed inside my lungs furiously, making me cough as I tried to suck in as much air as possible. He had gotten incredibly strong; it was embarrassing how weak I felt right now. I was good at hand-to-hand combat, I could even fight with a sword, I have killed men twice his size, yet here I was, on the bring of passing out from how hard he was squeezing me, his grip on my wrist still there. I tried to open my mouth and say something, but my mouth felt too dry and I knew my voice would’ve been scratchy, so I just stared at him. I tensed more when suddenly he leaned incredibly close to my face, sneering.

“You’re quite helpless for someone who parades themselves around for being unbeatable.” He mocked me and I glared at him, my sneer mirroring his as I went to push his head away, but he acted faster, yanking me forward into himself. He was just as tense as I was, body firm, as he turned me around roughly, squeezing my body against his. His solid chest pressed against my back. I didn’t know what was happening, but I tried to pull away, even bit his arm, but he had no reaction as he walked us towards the vanity, bending down on the way for a second. I saw what he picked up and gulped, it was my dagger. He stopped us in front of the big mirror and I hated the way I looked. Cheeks red from fighting so hard and getting chocked, the shirt wrinkled and almost falling off my shoulder, exposing me to Hongjoong. I watched as Hongjoong looked down at my body before our gazes connected through the mirror, my chest rising and falling quickly as he removed the hair from my neck with the hand which held my dagger. He seemed eerily calm for someone who looked so murderous right now. I tried moving away again, but he positioned his arm across my chest and pushed hard against it, holding my chin firmly, exposing my neck. I wanted to ask what he was doing as I felt fear creep up my body, but I didn’t, my pride in the way.

“You should’ve just left after you fucked me, Y/N,” His breath hitting my neck sent goosebumps down my body, “You should’ve just went on with your pathetic life without ruining someone else’s, Y/N. And most importantly—you should’ve never tried to destroy Ateez.”

I scoffed and opened my mouth to jab back at him, when the dagger was suddenly painfully close to my neck, my heart hammering in my chest, “Wait—what are you—”

But the blade pushing against my skin made me almost cry out, thankfully I managed to gulp it down, as suddenly he dragged it down in a straight line. As a reflex I grabbed his arm holding me mobilized against himself, and squeezed it as hard as I could as pain shoot down from my neck to my torso, to my chest. It hurt so much as my skin split open, it felt hot and pulsing, as he dragged it down similarly again, in a different spot, close to the previous slash. I watched through the mirror as blood trickled down my neck, the smell so nauseating that all I could think about was that he was cutting so close to the artery. If he pressed down just a little bit more, I would die. I would be gone. I bit my lower lip harshly as he dragged the dagger across the already split open skin, the area numb as my body was shaking from the excruciating pain and the sight of the blood and the smell of it, from the struggle to bite down my screams and tears. I felt lightheaded as my hold slipped down to his wrist when he brought the dagger close to my skin once again, shaking my head furiously ‘no’, chest starting to shake from the cries which tried to escape through my lips. I was hyperventilating as the wounds were pulsing, hot and cold at the same time, flinching as Hongjoong blew on it as we made eye contact through the mirror. He had a deranged look on his face and he had the audacity to cackle as he leaned down, lips pressing against my ear, making me let out a quiet shudder in fear.

“You wanted what was mine?” He asked so softly I almost didn’t realize he was speaking, “Good, because from this moment on, you’re my property, Y/N. Mine. Every time you will look in the mirror, you will remember who you dared challenge, who you robbed, and turned people against. Kim Hongjoong. Captain of Ateez. The Slayer.”

I whimpered and tried to pull my head away as his lips pressed against the wound, making the burn worse, the blood still trickling down my neck, past my collarbones. I watched through the mirror as he licked my blood off his lips, body still shaking yet feeling numb at the same time. I was so cold. I wanted him to go away.

“You and your crew are mine from now on, one more slip up, Y/N, and I’ll kill Irene right in front of your eyes,” Irene, no, I felt the tears in my eyes, “and then I’ll kill each one of your crew members.”

I shook my head and suddenly he pushed me forward as I felt into the vanity, his body and grip gone from mine as I collapsed down onto the floor, body shaken by the sobs which threatened to spill out. I heard movement behind me, and when I looked back, nobody was in the room with me. Hongjoong was gone. Finally, the tears fell down my cheeks and I started crying loudly, body shaking as I forced myself to stand up, needing to see Irene. Did he hurt her? Was she alright? Did they do anything to her? And the others—Irene’s door was thrown wide open the second I was out of my room, eyes wide as she took in my form. She rushed up to me and quickly led me inside her own room, searching my body frantically for any fatal wounds, but found none. She was talking to me, asking me question, but all I could do was cry and shake my head. I couldn’t even hear her; I didn’t understand her. She realized I needed comfort and quickly hugged me, shushing me and muttering some reassuring words, eyes fixed on the wound on my neck as her own eyes filled with tears, but she remained strong for me, telling me that it would be alright. But no, it wouldn’t be alright. I wanted Hongjoong dead.

            I have never felt so intensely for someone. And they weren’t positive feelings. Once Irene managed to calm me down and clean up my wounds, which was harder than it appeared as I kept hissing and pulling my neck away from her delicate touch, she allowed me to sleep in her bed for the night, too on edge to be left alone. Irene knew the second she saw me what had happened. I didn’t have to tell her that it was Hongjoong, she knew from the look on my face. I felt partially ashamed and totally stupid for having not listened to her and for almost dying by the hands of my sworn enemy. I thought I would be fine, figuring that Hongjoong just wanted to maim me for his own pleasure, but when I looked in the mirror, the world around me silenced for a few seconds. My eyes froze on the open wound on my neck, red and raw from still being so fresh. It wasn’t small at all, screaming in your face once you looked at me, and suddenly I realized my breathing was uneven as Irene watched me with pity in her eyes, averting her gaze once my wild one fell on her. There was the letter ‘H’ carved inside my skin, forever, screaming at whoever dared look at me. I didn’t realize what I was doing until everything was thrown off my vanity, the porcelain little chests breaking, my precious jewelry falling all over the floor. The scream ripping through my throat felt painful and I could hear several footsteps rushing our way as I grabbed the same dagger Hongjoong used and raised it to my neck, making Irene yell out as she was by my side in an instant, gripping my wrist so hard my circulation was certainly cut off.

“What’s happening—” Yeri cut her own question off as her eyes settled on the scene and ran up to us, gripping my arm and forcing it away with Irene’s help, my body shaking as all I could do was stare at the wound on my neck, which would scar, Hongjoong’s initial on my body, in my body, until the day I die, until the day my flesh rots away.

“Y/N!” I could hear Yeri calling out my name again and again, until my cheeks were gripped roughly and my head was turned away from the mirror of the vanity, “Get it together!”

She was the youngest in our crew, yet the strongest, always merciless, always the first to pull the trigger, stab the enemy. She was my master-at-arms, closest to me after Irene.

Yeri’s hard eyes bore into mine and gradually I could finally breathe again, heartbeat slowing down as I gripped her arms, slowly nodding to let her know I was fine. I was fine. Nothing could hurt me. Nobody could hurt me. I was fine. Cautiously, Yeri released me and I allowed her arms to drop down next to her body as I let go of her as well, looking towards the doorway, where the rest of my closest friends and crew stood, eyes wide at the unfolding scene in front of them. That is until Joy’s eyes fell on the ugly wound on my neck, and she gasped, bringing her hands up to her mouth.

“We’re leaving right now.” I spoke up, voice hard as I composed myself, pulling my hair to the front, covering the wound until Irene helped me place gauze on it, “We need to be at the Sun Set Kingdom in two weeks, but before that—a pirate crew needs to learn their lesson.”

And they did learn it as in five days we found them sailing towards the South Kingdom, not too far away from their shore. We’d been on the hunt ever since we left the Sun Rise Kingdom, determined to catch a whiff of their route, Wendy having not slept for three days now as she tried to find the route Ateez was using. It was laughable how quickly and easily we found them, for having the most feared reputation, they weren’t very good at being undetected. It was late in the night when I finally spotted their ship through my binoculars and a smirk crept up onto my lips as I called out to Irene, her body tensing when she saw me. She was against getting revenge on them, but I wasn’t about to let them get away so easily. If Hongjoong could threaten me in the middle of the night, in the safety of my chamber’s, I would do the same thing. We weren’t here to kill them; we were here to warn them. Pull something like that again Hongjoong, and I will gut Seonghwa in front of your two pretty eyes before I kill off the rest of your precious companions.

“Tell Seulgi to load the cannons.” I commanded to Irene as she shook her head in disappointment before taking off towards the previously mentioned woman, “Wendy! You’ll get two days off after tonight.”

The short-haired woman grinned at me as she pulled on the sail of the main mast, the wind taking us straight towards Hongjoong’s ship. The ship was quiet, a few sailors asleep on deck as we neared them without disrupting the waters, ready at any moment to attack. As something big and shiny caught my attention, I looked through the binoculars, gasping once my eyes fell on a fish-like creature. Mermaids. They were real? I stood frozen to my spot, gears turning in my head, watching the creature as it floated numbly in its cage, probably asleep…or dead. But why would it be dead? Certainly it must cost more alive than dead? And then it clicked, and I smirked as I called over Irene with a wave of my hand, handing the binoculars to her and angling her head to see what I was looking at just seconds ago. She gasped as she looked at me taken aback, before looking back into the binoculars.

“They are real…” She whispered to herself, all the stories in our folklore true after all, “What will they do with her?”

I smirked and took the shotgun Irene was holding, checking if it was fully loaded, “Probably sell her somewhere in the South and make enough money for a lifetime, we can’t let them have that, can we?”

Irene’s eyes darkened as she shook her head, the same hatred I felt towards Ateez finally seeping into her own bloodstream, “Do you want everyone dead, Captain?”

I chuckled, raising my left arm high up in the air, “No, I just want them close to sinking.” And as I brought my arm down, the first cannon went off, sending a fireball surging through the air, hitting the side of Ateez’ ship in a way so perfect I couldn’t have angled it better myself. Eyes focusing on the cage the mermaid was held in, I calculated approximately where I had to shoot in order to break her glass cage, gunshots and fireballs flying overhead as the enemy ship came to life, men shouting and running around deck, trying to counter our attacks. My only focus was on pulling the trigger at the right time, and I did, then two more times, checking in the binoculars to see if my aim was correct. The mermaid seemed to sprung to life as she swirled around in her glass cage, slamming against it. Hongjoong could never stop me, I wouldn’t allow it. He can maim me as much as he wants, he can carve his whole name on my body, and I still won’t stop, still won’t back down. Not when he thinks he can have everything, not when he takes everything. And as I lowered my binoculars, I could see him standing tall on the quarterdeck, his own binocular lowering at the same time as mine. Despite the distance between our ships, I could feel his burning stare, I could feel his hatred, I could hear his curses, I could feel the burning want to kill me. Yet all I could do was smirk to myself and bow dramatically, knowing very well he was watching, mouthing to myself for him to enjoy the show. Nobody was let off easy after attacking Lee Y/N, Captain of Red Velvet, The Nightfury.

            The Heavens were on our side as we arrived safe and sound in the Sun Set Kingdom. Our journey took two weeks, as expected, the crew exhausted as we finally docked down close to the uninhabited island of the small Kingdom, the waves rocking the ship violently. The sky had significantly darkened as the wind picked up, Irene looking off in the distance with a frown on her face. The little island was right in front of us, not even a five-minute boat ride away. I tied my long hair in a low ponytail and checked if I had all my daggers on me, my sword sitting snugly against my waist, the new leather pants I was wearing rather restricting at the moment.

“Are you sure you want to go alone?” Irene’s voice was laced with worry as she took her binoculars out of her pouch and looked off in the distance. The little island had a small cave, it was Siwon and I’s meeting point. It wasn’t too deep, but it was enough to conceal the real world from seeing the business’ that went down, far from the eyes of constables and the Night watch of the mainland.

“Yes,” I hummed as I glanced at Irene, “However, a weird feeling came over me last night—”

“I told you this doesn’t feel right!” Irene snapped and I sighed, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“I know what I’m doing, Irene, and if anything goes wrong—”

“Nothing will go wrong!” Irene cut me off again, eyes narrowed at me.

“If anything goes wrong,” I repeated my sentence, glaring lightly at her, “then you know what to do. You take this crew away from here to safety and you become the new Captain.”

Irene gulped, gripping my arm hard, pulling me in closer, “I can’t lose you, Y/N, you must take care of yourself and if anything happens—you know how to let us know.”

I nodded and offered her a soft smile as Irene pushed her forehead against mine as a way of greeting. The people from the North might not have been the verbally affectionate kind, but we always showed our care physically. Acts of service and physical closeness paid a rather important role in our lives. Forehead touching was a way of greeting between family and close friends. We pulled away at the same time and Irene’s eyes hardened as she released me, my own face slipping into a mask of coldness, as I turned towards my crew, who were waiting excitedly for me to take off towards the island. Towards our freedom.

“When I return, we will be rich,” I spoke up, voice loud and hard, “When I return, we won’t have to live the pirate life for much longer. When I return…we shall find our paradise!”

The crew cheered loudly as they raised their swords in the air, eyes glinting hungrily for the promised future, for the future we’ve all been working hard towards, craving desperately. Greed was a vicious thing, but our drive to finally be free was even stronger. I nodded confidently as I threw Irene a last glance before taking off towards the little boat floating in the water, the waves rocking it rather harshly. The wind didn’t relent, picking up even more as my arms strained as I climbed down the rope to reach the boat. My feet landed with a loud thumb and I tumbled a bit as a big wave crashed into the boat, wetting my new shoes and leather pants. I groaned and took the paddles into my hands as I sat down, paddling away from the safety of my ship, of my crew, towards the deserted island with the singular cave sitting on the surface of it. It wasn’t the first time I came here, but something felt off right now. I wasn’t lying to Irene; I did mean what I said. I got a strange feeling last night while I tried falling asleep, a voice in my head asking whether this was truly safe? Whether Siwon was telling the truth? Did I trust him this time? What guarantee did I have that he wasn’t trying to fuck me over once again? But the greed and drive towards freedom was stronger than the voices in my head, stronger than the gut feeling, which was getting stronger and stronger by the minute, trying to turn me back towards my ship, telling me to leave as fast as possible. There were no other ships in the distance, just six other little boats as I arrived to the shore of the island, meaning that Siwon and his men were already here. They didn’t need a ship, as I glanced back towards my own, I could see the mainland from here, blurry because of the distance, but there. It would only take half a day to paddle out here by boat. I secured my own, so that the waves wouldn’t wash it away, and hopped out of it, the sea cold against my boots. The wind picked at my hair, the stray strands falling messily and getting into my eyes as I hurried towards the cave, hissing when the water became ankle deep. This wasn’t how I imagined I would ruin my new clothing, but I guess I’d do anything to be free.

The wind was loud on the inside of the cave as it blew at the entrance, and I glanced back as the waves crashed against the rocks. I had to jump over a few more as I walked further inside, the sunlight slowly disappearing as the cave was lit up by torches placed on the wall. Another sign that Siwon was already here. I walked cautiously, hand on the handle of my dagger as I glanced behind me, my gut feeling worsening by second. But I couldn’t turn back, not now. Not when I was so close. My feet padded against the sand quietly and suddenly, as I took a turn to the left, voices resounded around me, echoing from the wide, open chamber of the cave I came face to face with. Twenty men at least were sitting around, some on the rocks, some on the sand as they conversed, looking rather casual. Siwon was sharpening his knives as he sat back against a wooden chair, slumped in his seat. He must’ve felt my gaze on him because he looked up, body tensing and whistling loudly. All the other men suddenly stood up straight, their eyes fixed on me as I walked further inside, looking around warily. The air was tense and my gut was screaming at me to just turn around and leave, I still could do it. I could still change my mind; it wasn’t too late. But Siwon’s face suddenly morphed into a smile, too friendly, too casual.

“Welcome, Miss Lee!” He called out loudly, arms spread wide open, “We’ve been excitedly waiting for you arrival.”

I chuckled to myself, stopping a respectable distance away from him and his men, who watched me as if I were their prey, “Yeah, I can tell.”

My voice dripped with sarcasm, but Siwon didn’t comment on it as he just continued smiling, it was too fake, “I can tell you were eager to help me out, I’ve never gotten an answer back from you so fast before.”

I forced a smile on my face as I noticed two guys approaching me from my peripheral, “You made it sound urgent in your letter, Siwon, so I came as fast as I could.”

“And did you come alone?” He raised an eyebrow as he watched me with curious eyes. I was aware of the men behind me, but they have stopped advancing towards me.

“Here? Yeah,” I nodded, narrowing my eyes, “That’s how our deal was, but I didn’t come by myself to the island, Siwon.”

“Left your crew on the sea?” He was prodding, tone too casual for someone who looked visibly tense.

“No, they are by the entrance of the cave,” I lied through my teeth, smiling slyly at him, “So don’t even think about pulling any tricks on me.”

Siwon hummed deep in thought as he looked at the man behind me, and I glanced their way, my face hard and eyes glaring. They didn’t seem phased as they stood like guard dogs, eyeing Siwon every once in a while, waiting for an order. Pathetic.

“Where are the jewels?” I raised my eyebrows as I walked towards the man, arms crossed in front of my chest. The men closest to Siwon gripped the handle of their swords, but I ignored them. There was a muffled sound coming from the left, further inside the cave, a little bit away from the mass of men gathered around me. Four men seemed to be crowding around something, obscuring my view from the thing in question. Perhaps that’s where the jewel was.

“Oh, you know,” Siwon scratched the back of his head, looking innocently at me, “I forgot to bring it—”

“What?!” My voice was hard as I snapped, eyes turning into slits as I glared at the cocky man standing a few feet away from me. The torch lit chamber casted a sinister light over his smile, but it didn’t scare me. I risked my life coming here, by being so close to the Sun Set Kingdom. If anyone saw our ship and reported to the constables, they could be on their way already, ready to kill my crew. The crew I currently wasn’t with and what’s a Captain good for if she has no crew?

“I have so many customers, Y/N, you know how business works,” Siwon spoke up casually, folding his hands in front of his legs as he leaned against the wooden chair’s back casually, “Sometimes you hit it big, sometimes you get zero profit, which sucks. A lot. You know I love you the most, especially when your payment is the highest, but lately—you’ve been quite disappointing.”

“I only pay for the quality of what I get from you, Siwon.” I countered, scoffing, “And your merch has been quite shit, lately. Don’t expect me to throw coins at you, when you don’t deserve said amount.”

Siwon grinned, and shook his head, “This is where our problem starts, Miss Lee. I don’t like it when nasty pirates tell me what’s the worth of my own products, thinking they know better, when they don’t.”

I chuckled sarcastically, raising my eyebrows at him, “You think us nasty pirates don’t know the real worth of your products? How many items you think we see on a daily basis which are precious and which are scum? I can differentiate a real golden coin from a fake one just by one glance. Tell me what your real problem with me is and we can work it out—”

“No.” Siwon’s voice got harsh, eyes widening at me in annoyance, “We can’t work it out. Not anymore. I’ve had enough of your games, of you looking down on me.”

“Siwon—”

“Shut up!” Siwon’s deep voice boomed in the cave, echoing around us as I flinched, taken aback. He’s never acted like this before, I’ve always thought he was a dumb imbecile, trying to sell off any goods he found at the local market, sometimes getting his hands on good stuff, but most of times on nothing really significant. He raised his hand and waved over the other four men who were away from the group and I tensed as I gripped the handle of my sword, noticing Siwon’s men mirroring my stance.

“You have no idea how delightful it is to have you in one place,” Siwon chuckled, the sound echoing around us, “To finally have the two of you in one place, without the presence of your crew. Defenseless and up to my mercy.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the four men, noticing that they were dragging someone towards our group. Who was the two of us? Did Siwon set up a trap? For me and for—my eyes widened as I lost my composure for one second as the person in question was forced to his knees a few feet away from me. Head lulled forward and a bruise already forming on his jaw, his hair was blonder since the last time I saw him. Which was two weeks ago. Two weeks which weren’t enough for me to process my feelings, for my hatred to settle down a bit. The burning flame inside my chest was ignited back to life as Hongjoong raised his head, lazily opening his eyes, gaze falling on me. His eyes widened before they darkened instantly, his eyes mirroring the hatred I felt towards him. His face scrunched up in disgust as he sneered at me, tugging on the grip the two men had on him, as if trying to reach me. Siwon was long forgotten as I gripped the handle of my sword with a deadly grip, on the verge of pulling it out of its holder and slicing Hongjoong’s head off. All I could see was red. All I could feel was the blood dripping down my neck, my collarbones. All I could feel was the sudden itching of the scar on my neck, of the mark he made on me, maiming me and claiming me as his.

“You!” I spat out, taking off towards him, but I didn’t get too close to him as someone grabbed me by my forearm, halting me in my steps. I snapped my head around and growled at them, starting to pull my arm away, when Siwon’s laughter echoed in the chamber. My head whipped towards him at the same time Hongjoong’s and I could feel my heartbeat pick up.

“How hilarious,” Siwon managed to say between laughs, “I don’t even have to dirty my hands with your blood. By the looks of it, you’ll kill each other before my men can get to you.”

“Try me, you bitch!” Hongjoong barked at Siwon, violently trying to tug himself free, but the two men just harshly forced him back onto his feet. I glanced at Hongjoong before looking back at Siwon, his words registering in my brain. This was a trap, of course. Irene was right. My gut feeling was right. Siwon wanted us both dead. I glanced back at Hongjoong, our eyes connecting as he seemed to have the same realization I just had, eyes glossing over in thought. I wasn’t going to die tonight. I didn’t care if Hongjoong did, but one thing was certain, I couldn’t kill all twenty-four men by myself. I gulped as I glanced back at Siwon then at Hongjoong, who was biting his lower lip, already looking at me. Our faces were unreadable and his eyes narrowed at me as he raised one eyebrow. I hated this. I hated that I had to work together with the man I hated the most in order if I wanted to live another day. But I really had no choice. So, very subtly, I nodded my head as I slightly pulled my sword up, letting Hongjoong know that I understood. That I agreed. That I was ready to fight alongside him to save ourselves.

Siwon suddenly tsked and both Hongjoong and I looked at him as he opened his mouth, “Kill them.” And it all happened at once. I drew my sword out of its holder fully and stepped on the man’s toes who was holding me harshly as he released me, allowing me to finish him off as my sword went through his middle. Hongjoong knocked his elbows backwards harshly, unbalancing the two men holding him, allowing him the momentum to jump up and kick backwards as he freed himself, drawing out two swords from their holders before slicing his attackers necks, the two dropping dead on the cold sand of the cave. I whirled around as two men came running towards me, swords drawn, attacking fearlessly and furiously as they threw daggers my way. I dodged their attack and ducked down before stabbing one through the stomach, barely avoiding the other one as he aimed for my neck, making me hiss. Our gazes connected, but for a split second he glanced behind me, unconsciously letting me know that someone was there, about to attack, and so I whirled around and stopped their attack midair, the clanking of our swords loud as all you could hear were grunts and metal against metal, Hongjoong growling every few seconds as he slayed everyone who dared go his way. The man was rather talented with his sword and he sliced my arm, making me hiss as I jumped back just in time, preventing my arm from getting cut off, but quickly jumped forward and jabbed him in the ribs, making the man cry out. More cries came from behind me, but I couldn’t glance back as men ran my way, my sole focus on killing everyone who tried to kill me. I wanted to get my hands on Siwon, to kill him, to watch him in the eyes as he let out his last breath. My sword was up in the air, pressing against the man’s sword I was currently fighting, when a dangerously close metal clanking resounded in my ears. Hongjoong was panting as he blocked the attacker who tried to attack me from behind, our gazes connecting for a second as I noted my arms were becoming sore from the relentless attacks and defending. My focus was back on the man attacking me as Hongjoong cut the other man’s head off, the sight too much for even myself. There was a reason he earned his Slayer reputation. He was ruthless in battle, and fearless. Nobody dared challenge him, not even the best fighters. These men had nothing on him as he kept killing and killing them, only five standing on their feet as I killed another one, panting as sweat dripped down my forehead, my neck. I took in deep breaths as I felt Hongjoong’s back collide into mine, the remaining five men circling us, walking around us tauntingly, sneering and throwing in jabs. They looked at us like we were scared animals covering in a cage, but we were far from that. We’d live, and they’d die. Hongjoong had two swords, so I pulled my dagger out of my boot as I smirked at the man from across me, powerfully throwing it towards him, his eyes widening as it entered through his Adam’s Apple, blood spurting out and down his body as he fell backwards, choking and gripping the dagger in a panicked manner. Hongjoong chuckled as he saw, then lurched forward and sliced the man’s neck, three more remaining as they started looking uneasy. They knew their imminent fate and I decided to make it fast as I dropped my sword and pulled out my second dagger, running towards the one to my left and kicking his wrist harshly when he raised his arm to slash at me with his sword, whirling around as my dagger went through his clothes and flesh, straight to his heart. He gasped as I pulled out the dagger, watching him drop to the ground before Hongjoong killed the man charging at me, slicing the last one’s head off.

We were panting as we looked around, checking for a sign of life in the wreck we’ve left in our wake, my wrists numb as I dropped my dagger, doubling over in order to breathe in more air, lungs screaming in exhaustion. The stench of blood was horrible and I gagged, bringing my palm to my nose, trying to conceal the smell. Hongjoong shuffled next to me and I suddenly stiffened, standing up straight to look at him.

“He’s not here,” He muttered, more to himself, eyes searching the chamber of the cavern, “Siwon, that motherfucker—when I find him, he’ll be dead in no second.”

I scoffed, picking up my dagger as I walked over to the dead guy I killed with my other one, “I can’t believe he managed to fool the both of us.”

Hongjoong hummed but it went quiet as I pulled the dagger out from the dead man’s Adam’s Apple, realizing I had my back turned to the enemy. The real enemy. I whirled around, daggers ready if I had to pounce on him, but Hongjoong hadn’t approached me yet. His sword was ready, eyes narrowed as he watched me. We didn’t say anything as we stared each other down, expressions hardened as neither one of us moved. My hatred returned full force and I spat next to me, feeling that fire burn my whole body as I hurried towards him, dagger pressed against his throat in no time. Hongjoong smirked at me as he raised his eyebrows, pressing his sword against my leg as a warning. It cut into my leather pants, and if he ruined them more, I would kill him.

“You’re acting rather aggressive with your savior, Y/N—”

“I could’ve killed them on my own too!” I snapped, breathing hard as Hongjoong remained cocky, rather relaxed for someone who had a dagger pressed against their neck.

“No, you couldn’t have, and we both know it.” His answer was smug and I growled as I pushed the dagger more into his skin, drawing blood. Hongjoong’s jaw clenched and a harsh grip on my waist suddenly made my breathing falter for a second.

“You’re playing with fire, again.” His words were quiet but tone authoritative as if he was talking to one of his crew members. It made my blood boil and I was seething, hating the look in his eyes. Hating the upper hand he still seemed to have on me, and when his eyes fell on my neck, on my scar, I felt like screaming. I felt like slashing that dagger across his neck, watching the blood spurt out onto my face, the warmth bringing goosebumps onto my skin as it trailed down my face. But I didn’t. I lessened the pressure from his neck, but didn’t lower my dagger just yet.

“You expect me to be nice after you maimed me?!” My voice rose a few octaves as his eyes finally connected with mine, looking quite pleased with himself.

“I didn’t maim you, I marked you—”

“You maimed me!” I screamed, hating that I was letting my emotions come through as my face contorted into disgust. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore, scared that I’d catch a glimpse of the letter carved into my skin permanently.

“I marked you,” Hongjoong hissed, grip tightening on my waist, “You should have thought twice before messing with me, Y/N, I hope you learned your place because I don’t feel like killing you just yet.”

I scoffed, but then allowed a smirk to appear on my lips, raising an eyebrow at him, “How’s your ship? Did you fix it? Or did it sink—”

“I will make you pay for it.” Hongjoong’s voice hardened and I leaned closer in, inches away from his face, still smirking.

“What are you waiting for? We both know you won’t kill me.” I spoke sweetly, tauntingly, “You should’ve just fucked me and forgotten about me, Hongjoong.”

It felt good using his own words against him, it almost made me cackle. Hongjoong hissed and pushed me away from his body by my waist, making me chuckle as he proved that I was right. Of course I was right. I could see right through him right now, his eyes gave it away as he looked away, taking off towards the exit. The cave was eerily silent as I followed after him, debating whether to say something or remain quiet as Hongjoong wouldn’t look my way. Silence was fine by me, I didn’t have much to say either way, just a couple of insults I knew would tick Hongjoong the right way, but then he might just actually kill me.

“Let’s call a truce,” My eyes widened as he spoke up first, almost by the end of the cave, the water washed against our boots, “For a week, until we get far enough from each other. But after that—I won’t show any more mercy.”

“I don’t want you to show mercy,” I scoffed, noting how the wind howled violently outside, that wasn’t good, “I’m not a helpless little girl. I’m a feared pirate just like you, I can take care of myself and of my crew.”

Hongjoong hummed, and after a second glanced back at me, “I know. I’ve always respected you for that.”

My eyes widened as he turned back towards the front, surprising me. Not many men respected women, especially not when you were pirates and especially not when your whole crew was made out of women. As the water reached ankle deep and we stepped around the rocks, it became quite obvious that there was a ragging storm outside. That meant we couldn’t paddle back to our respective ships. That was bad. Hongjoong stopped as he reached the exit, pulling back as the waves crashed violently against the shore, the wind blowing strongly and howling where we stood. Fuck. I sighed as I looked off in the distance, the heavy rain concealing my ship. But I knew the girls were fine as they were close to the shore, the storm not as violent here as in the open sea.

“We can’t go back.” Hongjoong muttered and I nodded, glancing at him from my peripheral.

“I hope the storm passes by the morning.” I agreed with him, making Hongjoong sigh as he rubbed his forehead.

“Jongho and Wooyoung said nothing about a storm coming—”

“We’re close to the Black Ocean and the Ragging Sea, the weather is unpredictable here.” I told Hongjoong as we turned to face each other, “We shouldn’t stay here unless we want a wave to crash into us and take us out into the sea.”

“I know,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes, giving me a glare as he started walking back inside the cave, “We can set up a fire and sleep here tonight.”

I scoffed as I followed after him, “As if I’ll sleep next to you.”

“You won’t have much of a choice, unless you want the dead men as your companion—”

“Shut up,” I snapped, glaring at him as I walked past him, “I hope the sea swallows up Siwon.”

“Wouldn’t be as satisfying as cutting his head off—”

“Did you find a mermaid?” I heard Hongjoong pause for a second behind me as we jumped over the rocks, walking through the ankle-deep water.

“It was a siren, not a mermaid, those don’t exist—”

“How do you know?”

“The creature told us—well, mostly Jongho. I don’t know, they were weird.” I glanced back at Hongjoong as we walked further inside the cave, away from the howling wind and the sea. His eyebrows were furrowed as he shook his head, it made me chuckle.

“What? Did your little crew guy fall in love with the siren?” It was an assumption, but Hongjoong’s suddenly tense stature gave it away and my own eyes widened as I fully looked at him, quite intrigued, “Wait, seriously?!”

“He’s been obsessed with those things ever since his childhood,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes as if he still believed sirens were merely fairytales, “but I didn’t think he’d actually fall for one. I have a feeling she follows us around; I keep hearing Jongho talking to someone when we’re sailing through the Ragging Sea but when I check, he’s alone and walking away from the railing.”

I chuckled and looked at him with a taunting smile, “I didn’t know your crew was made up of little boys—”

“It’s not.” Hongjoong snapped and gave me a threatening glare, “But I won’t stop anyone from being themselves. Jongho has his own culture which has different believes than the other ones, I won’t strip that away from him.”

And suddenly realization dawned on me. Four years ago, when I told him I was from the North, he brought up one if his crew members, “Is he from the North?”

Hongjoong nodded wordlessly and we didn’t speak anymore as we reached the sand, Hongjoong throwing his swords down and taking off his vest, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt. I placed down my weapons as well and untied my hair from the ponytail, massaging my scalp as Hongjoong glanced at me before walking off, headed towards the open chamber filled with the dead men. We decided to settle down just before the turn to the left, not quite fond of sharing a space with twenty-four dead men. At least there wasn’t a stench here made by them and we wouldn’t see them thank to the turn.

            After Hongjoong brought back the wooden chair Siwon used as his pathetic throne and ripping it to pieces, we set the fire, using a torch and snitching some rum from the dead men having left behind for us to consume. We found a chest filled with some blanket and a few cutting instruments, but nothing which could be useful for us tonight in any significant way, so we left those alone. The fire burned strongly, embers jumping out from it from time to time, but we sat a respectful distance away, not keen of getting burned alive. Hongjoong had his shirt unbuttoned and the ends of his pants pulled up to his knees, both of our boots long disregarded, the fine sand quite pleasant against my skin. It was smoother than any sand I have stepped on before. I had my hair in a bun and had gotten rid of my corset, wishing I could take off my tight leather pants as well, but Hongjoong was around, I didn’t want him gawking at my legs. We had settled into a comfortable silence, surprisingly, as we passed the bottle of rum between the two of us, sipping on it quietly. It burned my throat each time I gulped it down, but the taste wasn’t too bad, being it one of the finer brands. Siwon was shallow like that, despite having little money, he’d spend it on the most expensive things, indebting himself to anyone who allowed it. It was truly pathetic. I hope the sea swallowed him whole. As I placed the bottle between the two us, not sitting too far apart, but not too close either, I felt Hongjoong’s sharp gaze bore into the side of my head. He’s been looking at me for quite some time now, but I continued ignoring him, until it became annoying and I huffed, whipping my head around to face him. He didn’t look away, to my surprise, just continued looking at me, taking in my face. So I did the same thing to him. I allowed my eyes to run over his blonde hair, his mullet significantly having gotten longer compared to four years ago, now it reached his shoulders at the back. His cat-like eyes were still rimmed with black eye-liner, smudged at this point from having sweat a lot. His face had gotten sharper, jaw more defined and nose standing tall. His lips were red and his cheeks were flushed from the rum we’ve been drinking for a while now. Despite that, I felt sober. My thoughts clear, my vision just alright, body still alert as I was still sharing a drink with my enemy. Yet somehow, Hongjoong looked peaceful right now, eyebrows not furrowed for once, eyes not glaring for once. I knew he hated me, I could see it still, but it was rather subdued as we continued looking at each other wordlessly. It impressed me how many people he killed tonight, how many he beheaded. That was a very hard task, it demanded a lot of strength and force, yet Hongjoong seemed to do it like it was simply nothing. His gaze became a little bit too much so I turned away, looking at the fire as I cleared my throat, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them with my arms.

“Why have you been trying to sabotage me for the past four years?” Hongjoong’s question took me off guard. He didn’t speak too loudly, voice laced with curiosity as his gaze continued burning into the side of my head. I could tell him the truth or I could lie to him. I didn’t find a reason to do the later.

“Because nobody takes women seriously in our society, especially a crew full of them calling themselves pirates,” I spoke up, voice laced with disdain as I glared into the flames, “I didn’t have anything against you at the beginning, but then you started taking all the good stuff away from us. We’d get our hands on second-hands only, things which were useless while the merchants demanded an obnoxious sum for them. They were laughing at us, trying to fuck us over thinking we were dumb. I tried everything before I decided to bribe the people who worked for you. It wasn’t the easiest, but I have my ways. And when people still didn’t take us too seriously, we decided to become what real pirates are. Merciless, vile, and dangerous. If we didn’t rob the other ships in the middle of the night we would be long dead.”

Hongjoong remained silent, and I glanced at him, realizing he was also staring at the flames now, legs sprawled out in front of him as he leaned back on his hands, “You know, four years ago when we met in that Inn…I knew you were acting. With that man, and then afterwards with me.”

My eyes widened and I turned my head, looking at Hongjoong surprised. He had an amused smile on his lips as he glanced at me, “I saw you in the market earlier that day, acting quite different than at the Inn. And I heard when your second-in-command called you Captain, too.”

“Then why did you interfere?” I asked with my mouth hanging open, always having been convinced that Hongjoong fell for my act.

“Because I was intrigued,” Hongjoong confessed, turning his head to look me in the eyes, “I wanted to find out who you were and what you did. And you were also really beautiful.”

The information had to sit for a moment as I repeated Hongjoong’s words in my head, chuckling, “I were?”

That shouldn’t have been my most important concern right now, but I couldn’t help it as Hongjoong’s eyes slightly hardened, Adam’s Apple bobbing as he gulped, “You still are.”

I bit my lower and blamed his honesty on the alcohol, knowing that he’d never confess such thing to me normally. Not when he wanted me dead so badly.

“You should’ve just minded your own business,” I found myself whispering as I looked at the sand, “At the Inn, that night, you should’ve—just walked away. Left me alone. I knew what I was doing, maybe that way we would’ve never gotten here.”

“You mean to hating each other? To wanting the other dead?” Hongjoong scoffed, voice hardening suddenly, “Then you shouldn’t have meddled with my business, Y/N. Because you almost ruined everything for my crew. For me. Everything that my father has built from scratch!”

I rolled my eyes before looking back at him, noticing the annoyance in his voice as he stared at me with a newfound spark in his eyes, “You almost killed us all. My crew, my brothers, we could’ve lost everything if I didn’t know the right people, pulled the right strings.”

“You think you were the only one struggling?” I raised my voice unwillingly, getting fired up by his accusation, “Did you not hear what I just told you minutes ago, Hongjoong? Men walked all over us every day, no matter what we did!”

“Is it my fault you were born women?!” I scoffed at his incredulous question, glaring at him hard.

“Of course not, I don’t know why I expected you to understand me when you had everything handed to you ready!”

“I had everything handed to me ready?!” Hongjoong’s voice raised too, eyes widening, “My mother died in front of me from a flu! I cried myself to sleep for two years after her death until my father threatened to abandon me if I didn’t toughen up because I was a man! A pirate. And then we found Seonghwa and I finally found some happiness. He understood my struggles! I was only fifteen when my father died right in front of me—”

“You expect your sob story to make me feel sorry for you?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at Hongjoong, who’s eyes were filling with hatred second by second, “Because I don’t give a fuck about your life, Hongjoong. You think I have parents at home who are waiting for me with open arms? I got sent to a war when I was thirteen! And they kicked me out after I told them I wanted to become an actress! When I visited them years later and told them I was finally making a living for myself by owning a small ship and having a small crew they—they disowned me!”

“You expect your sob story to make me feel sorry for you?” Hongjoong’s words felt like a slap in my face, my own words ringing in my ears as my hands turned into fists, making me glare at him, “I don’t feel sorry for you at all, Y/N. You’re a bad person and you deserved everything—”

I snapped. I grabbed the dagger laying to my left and got on top of Hongjoong so fast the air was knocked out of his lungs as I pushed him back against the sand, dagger digging into his neck. My heart was beating fast and my head was swimming with the words he said seconds ago, vision blurring for a second from the tears which sprung into my eyes. But I blinked them away, staring down at Hongjoong with hatred, sneering at him as his eyes hardened, glaring up at me.

“I hate you,” I gasped out breathlessly, hand shaking as the fury consummated my bloodstream, “you maimed me for life. You carved your initial into my skin, Hongjoong. I can’t even look in the mirror anymore because I get disgusted. You ruined me. I have to cover it up if I go out in public. I hate it when my girls look at me with pity each time their eyes accidentally fall on the scar. I hate you so much. I want to kill you. I want you dead. I want to never see you again, I want—”

“Kill me.” Hongjoong’s chest was falling and rising quickly, lips parted as he stared up at me, the same fire I felt inside my body reflected in his own eyes, “Kill me, and Seonghwa will have you dead at the break of dawn.”

“And Irene will have his head for that.” I snapped, eyes desperately trying not to fall on his lips as he craned his neck, cutting his own skin with the blade of my dagger.

“San will kill her.”

“Yeri will kill him.”

Hongjoong opened his mouth but nothing ever came out of it as we stared into each other’s eyes, hearts beating fast as my grip loosened on the dagger. I hated him, I truly did. But something didn’t let me kill him just yet, I just couldn’t do it. And the longer I stared at him the more I realized how beautiful he was, how attracted I still was to him. In a second of confusion and anger, I threw my dagger away and crashed my lips against Hongjoong’s, a small gasp leaving his lips as I pressed down harshly against his, holding his cheeks with both hands. He reacted quickly, arms wrapping around my middle as his kiss was feverish, reciprocating my hungry ones with the same force and hunger I suddenly felt towards him. My heart was racing in my chest and my cheeks were flushed as I felt hot from the rum, Hongjoong’s hands travelling up my torso until his hands were at the front of my shirt. I pulled back and sat on top of him as he raised up too, ripping the shirt apart, buttons flying everywhere. His eyes fell on the black cloth wrapped around my body and with shaky fingers I undid the three buttons holding them snugly against my torso, unwrapping the fabric from my body. I shivered as my torso was now naked, Hongjoong’s eyes falling on my breasts before he leaned forward, pressing long and wet kisses against my collarbones, sucking at some points, making me fist his hair between my fingers as I bit back moans. I refused to let him hear me, not tonight. His kisses traveled up and I gasped when he paused at the scar, pulling away to look me in the eyes before he licked it, goosebumps erupting on my skin from the feeling, biting my lip harshly, refusing to let out any sounds. Hongjoong’s eyes found mine again and he kissed me, tongue pushing in my mouth as I sucked on it, making Hongjoong moan, a smirk appearing on my lips. As I circled my arms around his neck, he suddenly gripped my waist and flipped us, his body pressing against mine. I pulled back and bit his lower lip until he growled, drawing blood. He glared at me and pulled back as he started undoing his pants, my eyes falling down his torso, fingers reaching out to trace his skin, making Hongjoong gulp audibly. His pants were down and he was semi-hard already, his eyes falling onto my pants as I got to work, undoing the lace in order to push them down. It felt amazing to finally have them off my body, and I shivered as Hongjoong traced his finger against my skin as he pulled the fabric down. Not having been with a man in more than two weeks got to me and I didn’t need much as Hongjoong could make me feel things nobody else could, making me hate him even more. He kissed up my leg, keeping eye contact and it made me want to crawl up a wall, vagina clenching around nothing as his lips brushed against my knee before he littered more kisses up my thighs, close to my crotch but not quite there. I groaned as he sunk his teeth into the flesh of my thigh, biting hard, making me grip his hair as I tried to push his head away, but he only bit harder, making me yelp as he looked at me satisfied. Why did he like seeing me in pain? He released the skin with a pop and as I looked down, his teeth mark remained, slightly having drawn blood, making me curse at him quietly, Hongjoong chuckled as he had heard me.

He never touch where I needed him the most and I was about to snap at him as he suddenly gripped me firmly and flipped me over, my eyes widening as I pushed up to all fours, resting on my forearms. I was breathing fast, still clenching around nothing and as I looked back, Hongjoong pumped himself fast, biting his lips. He suddenly looked at me as he aligned himself with my entrance and I closed my eyes shut as he pushed inside, walls clamping down on his member instantly, moving in painfully slow until he bottomed out. I felt him shudder behind me and I pushed my ass back, asking for him to move, for any friction as he started moving excruciatingly slow, setting a dreadful rhythm as I tried pushing my hips back to meet his thrusts, but his hands on my waist stopped me from doing so. He was panting as he enjoyed torturing me, until he probably had enough himself and picked up his pace, going faster and faster until the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed around us with my muffled whines as I bit into my hand, Hongjoong groaning with each thrust. I started meeting him halfway, feeling the familiar coil in my lower abdomen as Hongjoong started slamming back in faster and stronger, hitting a spot all too familiar as a loud moan slipped through my lips, walls clenching around him, making him moan too.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He rasped out, grabbing my hair which was in a bun, as he continued with the brutal pace he’s set, hitting the spot over and over again, making my toes curl and my back bend more, moans falling repeatedly from my lips. I was so close, and as Hongjoong gyrated his hips while thrusting, it tipped me off the edge and I came undone, moaning his name loudly, him finishing not long after, hips stuttering as he came to a stop slowly, member still inside as he was panting, still gripping my hair. My chest was falling and rising quickly, mouth hung open from the sensations, never having experienced a feeling such strong with any other man before. Hongjoong pulled out and slowly rolled me onto my back, sitting back in between my legs as I stared up at him. His face was flushed and I looked at his hands as he let them rest on my thighs, rubbing circles into them.

“If you don’t stop sabotaging me, I will send San to kill you.” His voice was raspy, but his words made me chuckle.

“You’ve sent him once and I’m still alive, what makes you think he’ll succeed a second time?” I raised my eyebrows and Hongjoong glared at me, “If you want me to die, you will have to kill me yourself. Watch me in the eyes when you plunge that knife deep inside my heart—”

My words got quickly muffled by Hongjoong’s lips as he pressed them against mine hurriedly, kissing me messily, hand going around my neck firmly, gripping it but not squeezing. I kissed him back with the same energy, hooking my legs around his hips as I pulled his body closer to mine, fingers threading through the longer strands of his mullet. Hongjoong pulled back from the kiss, but his lips brushed against mine lightly as he stared me down, eyes glaring. I licked at his lips, making his glare deepen as he pulled back a little bit more.

“You’re mine,” His forefinger suddenly pressed harder into the scar on my neck, “And I can do whatever I want to do with you, whenever I want to.”

I chuckled and hooked my arms around his neck as I flipped us over, pressing down my lower body against his, his member twitching as I rubbed up against it, turned on, as Hongjoong still held my neck firmly.

“I guess I’ll have to continue making your days a living nightmare, then.” I smirked and Hongjoong yanked me down, tongue in my mouth and hand on my waist as I started moving my hips, enjoying the way his grip tightened even more around my neck.

If fucking him kept me alive for a little longer, then I would do it with a lot of pleasure. After all, I knew Hongjoong wasn’t capable of killing me…but neither was I capable of killing him.

Next part (divider)

#bvidzsoo #ateez series #ateez smut #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong smut #kim hongjoong #hongjoong angst #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong ateez #ateez angst #ateez fluff #hongjoong oneshot #ateez x reader #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #ateez pirate au #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

10 Jikook Fanfictions Part 1

I said I'd make a list before the end of the year and I kept my promise. Now, it's difficult to choose, especially when I have more than 300 bookmarks and unfortunately I also started doing that some year and a half ago. Safe to say, there's probably plenty of good fics I read that are now lost. Anyway, enough with the boring chit chat, here's 10 random jikook fics in no particular order and most likely, several other parts will follow, probably next year 😉

1. Dead in the Water

It's been a couple of years since I read this and honestly, I barely remember much, but what I do know it's that it had an impact on me. Usually fics that have death as a central theme end up resonating with me, but perhaps it's because I've always been attracted to more darker fiction. This one is gritty and there's a lot of pain and I must have cried a lot (those tend to stick in my head)

2. we're holding hands beneath the silver screen

I think this story is taking place in the 90s (you'll see that a lot of the fics I recommend are taking place in the past). I think I ended up reading everything ChimneyCricket wrote, but this one remained a favorite. Coming of age during a summer in Jeju in the 90s. Apart from the theme, it's the writing that made me stick with it.

I'm not the biggest fan of young adult stories. Or better yet, it's not something that I'd go to as a preference. When I do, it's more of an indulgence and thankfully, I found some writers (like this one) who can do a really good job with the genre.

3. Stockwell

Another writer that I've become a big fan of after reading one fic of theirs. And I think it might have been Stockwell that did it for me. I like that it's fanfiction with adult themes for an adult audience. And I also resonate with a lot of the cultural references and themes. I will also admit that this fic leaning into the enemies to lovers trope was a selling point because I'm a sucker for it. I can't help myself.

4. Burn for You

This is a complete self indulgence for me and I embrace it. Just like watching Bridgerton is a guilty pleasure for which I don't actually feel guilty (and the inspo for this fic). This story has everything and I must say the combination of lust, fear of revealing feelings, rumors, proper behavior and hidden romance is a lethal combination!

5. Light of a century

I might have recommended this story before, but it being inspired by Up on Poppy Hill is not just due to the plot, but the writing is able to evoke that studio Ghibli mood. This fic is to be read on a hot weekend afternoon.

6. Map of the Soul

This might be one of the most complex fanfictions I read due to the amount of research needed, but also in the depiction of political contexts and identity politics. Most of all, I like it because as much as relationships are a vital part of the story, there is an entire world surrounding the main characters. Events and other people that have also room to develop and not just remain props that advance the story.

7. Proceed with Caution

I don't know what snatchim did with this fic, but it's the only one I ever reread multiple times and I'll probably do it again in the future. I don't even reread books from my library, let alone fanfics. But Proceed with Caution did it for me. Perhaps it's because of the process of Jungkook inevitably falling for Jimin and even though it's a bad thing considering the context, it's so good. Maybe it's the image of Jimin with a bellybutton ring or maybe because the picture of hot Californian days in the 70s is so vivid, it feels like a nostalgic Paul Thomas Anderson movie.

8. Dishwater World They Said Was Lemonade

The description does not do this story justice because it's so much more than that. It's a canon compliant thriller with really complicated and complex characters and once again, a story meant for adults who understand that it's fiction. Unfortunately, judging by the comment section, a lot of people cannot distinguish betweem real people and characters. For those of you who might be fans of Korean thrillers, this story might be the one for you. It's also one of my favorite jikook fics as well.

9. souvlaki

Need I say more, considering the description? This is a self indulgence as well, but of a different kind. If I happily read tropey fics, I also like the ones that can sound like a uni course. Set during the 1997 FMI crisis in SK, any reader will get familiar with a socioeconomic and political perspective of that time through the eyes of the main characters. If you're only looking for romance, this one is not for you.

10. you wouldn't remember

I think littleflumes might be currently my favorite writer of canon compliant jikook. I think the author really captured their dynamic in its essence and the room left for fiction perfectly fills in the holes left in the last 2 years and up until the present. But what did it for me, not only with this story, but the others in the series as well, is that it's concentrated almost entirely on the two main characters, almost living in a bubble of their own in which their relationship can be explored.

#m thoughts #jikook #jikook fanfic #jikook fanfiction #jikook au #jikook canon compliant #fic rec #bts fanfic

[inkskinned]

i sat next to him, dipping chips into the bowl of salsa, thinking about how i couldn't have enjoyed this 5 years ago. something strange: recently it's been about chaos theory for me.

a butterfly makes a tornado. the infinitely small becomes the chaotic whole. the universe bends towards entropy, and yet, chaos theory seems to argue - small motions make big changes.

chip goes into salsa. i eat a little bit. later, the chip is energy. later, the energy is movement. later, the movement is a memory. later, the memory shapes who i am.

i used to pretend i had already eaten. i used to be 30 minutes late so i could say eat without me. i used to say i didn't like chips or salsa. i'd chug my water and pray nobody noticed i was still nibbling the same chip i'd first picked up. i missed a lot of hangouts because i didn't want to grab lunch. i would eat by myself, curled up in the parking lot of a supermarket. hurried, anxious, embarrassed to be overcome.

5 years ago, i started saying yes to one more chip. 4 years ago, i could munch my way casually through a couple dozen. these days i am the one saying - can we have more chips when you get a second?

it didn't start with big changes. i thought it would have to - something was massively wrong with me, so i assumed recovery would take a natural disaster. the only way to fight fire was with an explosion. i would buy organizational journals, angrily clean my house for 10 hours straight, promise myself never again and know - i'd always slip backwards. i'm always going to be this way.

it wasn't big, though. 5 years ago i made a promise to stop it with the i'm going to kill myself jokes. for the sake of additional challenge, i also stopped saying i'm stupid. just two things.

i'm genuinely funnier these days. people laugh more with me. i find more things funny. when i mess up, it doesn't crush me. suicide no longer sits at the front of my brain. it is no longer the first option i picture. i forgive myself so easily. i no longer believe every mistake is emblematic of my personality. i have actually started to believe i am clever and smart - although i still want to add the prefix barely.

i still apologize too much. i still beat myself up. i still agonize over certain choices. i know i am not perfect. recovery is not linear.

but the joy in me is bigger. every time i choose to believe in it, every time i choose to make a little change towards hope - that joy in me grows.

when entropy rises up in my heart and i backslide and everything goes dark: the joy doesn't fully evaporate anymore. i slide just a little less. i bounce back just a little more. i go further this time. learn about myself. crawl up that slope with new skills in tow. i know what i'm doing these days; am getting good at finding handholds. i have started to learn how to catch myself while falling - instead of letting myself go.

a little change. ten years ago i googled depression self-help tips. little butterfly keystrokes. in the moment, nothing really happened.

ten years in the future: my life is full of love and healthy coping mechanisms. i have minimized a great deal of my symptoms. i spend a lot of my time laughing and creating and going out with friends. every time i hit a wall, i convince myself to get up, keep going, if it's hard just be harder, choose hope, choose just a little bit further -

i want to tell that version of myself, stranded in the desert: if you keep walking, all that sand will one day be water.

[formulaa-1]

Hi there, can I request a one shot with Oscar Piastri, where he is dating his childhood best friend from Australia, and they are hanging out and visiting both their families and friends while they’re at Melbourne for the Australian GP.

one shot🤿 O.P

fem!reader x Oscar piastri

Oscar’s dating his childhood bestfriend and they visit Australia for the Grand Prix and spend some quality time together 🫶🏼 ps. theres a promise ring at the end 🙈💍

Thankyou so much for the request! I hope this is kind of what you were thinking of because I was kind of just going with whatever came to mind especially the promise ring haha! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

y/n’s pov

-

if you would have told me 4 years ago id be dating my bestfriend since childhood, I would have laughed in your face.

everyone saw it coming,everyone but us of course.

it happened when we both went on vacation to Hawaii with our families for a little getaway before Oscar started his formula 2 season. we’d all been drinking one night, and me and Oscar were the only ones left; we danced and spun our way across the beach feeling free and laughing til’ we couldn’t breathe anymore. I had spun too fast ,falling over and pulling oscar down with me.

it was like a switch had been flipped.

we couldn’t keep our hands or eyes off of eachother for the rest of the night.

when we woke up, we finally confessed our love to eachother and made things official. as soon as we went downstairs everyone already knew that we had admitted our feelings and that we were now together. typical.

but that was 3 years ago.

we’re now currently in our hometown, melbourne,soaking up the aussie sun at his parents home before the busy race weekend starts and it’s the definition of perfect.

on the first day in Melbourne, oscar had taken me and some of our mutual friends to the Great Barrier Reef and spent the day surfing and swimming.

it was perfect, growing up in Australia I was always too busy with school work and my own sports I never really had much time to explore many of Australia’s natural wonders.

this is one of the things I love the most about Oscar, he’s always so thoughtful and always knows how to make things special. He knew I wanted to go and he made sure it was just that little bit more special for me, he truly is one in a million.

on the second day, he took me to my favourite book shop and insisted on paying for whatever I wanted. I declined and told him he didn’t need to and that I’d pay for them myself but he of course told me to stop being silly and bought them anyway.

on the third day, we ate breakfast in bed and watched all of our favourite films (Harry Potter because Oscar’s a massive nerd just like me) whilst talking about anything and everything.

on the next few days we relaxed,visited friends and family and took time for ourselves.

on the very lasts day Oscar took us on a helicopter ride through Melbourne. It was heavenly,it was truly a dream come true. It was their where he had kissed me on my forehead before pulling out a ringbox, revealing a promise ring.

“y/n, I wanted to give you this as a promise that one day we will have everything we ever wanted and that I’ll be with you for the rest of my life and that even if things get hard I will always be there for you and by your side. this ring also signifies that one day we’ll have that big house with the white picket fence and little mini me’s and mini you’s running around. I love you so much y/n”. he said with tears pricking his eyes.

I had kissed him so passionately and that even tho it was just a promise ring, I knew that it was a promise of the life we would have and for that I couldn’t be happier.

-

authors note🎀 okay guys !!! what do you think of this?? I’m actually happy with this like AHHH!!! I felt like I was really motivated and it felt like this was kind of an easy flow but let me know what you think 🫶🏼 sorry its taken so long to get round to requests I’ve been very I motivated and had MAJOR writers block or whatever it’s called 🙄 I hope your all okay and looking after yourselves !!!

#f1 instagram au #formula 1 #instagram au #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #fiction #formula 1 imagine #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x reader #mclaren #Oscar piastri x y/n #oscar piastri imagine

[thatgoblin]

If I'm There

Summary: You hadn't seen or spoken to him in over a year, but now you have to track down your ex-husband over unpaid parking tickets. It was supposed to be easy, but seeing him with his new partner made it anything but.

Soulmates AU, Simon/Johnny/Reader

Warnings: so much angst, past child death, alcoholism, divorce, heavy stuff, but happy ending.

A/N: I'm not completely pleased with it, I don't feel very strong with Simon and Johnny’s characters in this, but posting anyways. It's part of a series I had written a while ago, but it works as a one shot too. Song is 'If I'm There' by Bad Omens.

“Riley! I got a job for you!” 

I looked up from the paperwork I had been doing, bored out of my mind before stuffing it into the file it had come in. 

“Yes! Farah, love of my life, light of my heart, tell me it’s a good one,” I said, walking over to get a look from her. 

“Seems you’re on the hunt for a blast from your past,” the dark haired woman said, handing me a file. “12 unpaid parking tickets and has not shown up to court.” I opened the file, wanting to throw it away immediately, but seeing the large bounty on it, I kept it. It wasn’t often that amount was put out on people for nonviolent crimes and I wasn’t about to pass up something so easy. “Also a second one. 4 unpaid speeding tickets, 3 failure to signal tickets, and 1 ticket for having a pet off leash. . . An emu.” Farah handed me another file and the bounty was just as much. 

“And a partridge in a pear tree,” I said with a snort. “Merry Christmas to me.”

“It’s April,” Farah said evenly before turning back to the computer. 

“Well, it’ll feel like Christmas when I turn these two idiots in,” I said, taking their addresses to shove into my back pocket in case my first plan didn’t work. “With a nice bonus for you too.”

“Oh happy days,” Farah said dryly. 

“You know, you could be a bit more cheery about life,” I said, folding the legal paperwork I needed before putting it into my jacket pocket. 

“I could, but then we’d be friends and we can’t have that,” Farah said, not looking back.

“Of course, we wouldn’t want that,” I said, grabbing my phone from my desk. “Alright, I’m off. Hold down the fort and don’t set it on fire. Again.”

“I make no promises,” Farah said as I walked out the door. Walking over to my car, I pulled out my phone to dial a number I had deleted from my phone over a year ago. As I sat in the car, a little voice in the back of my head told me to ignore this job. That it was inviting chaos and discourse back into my life after I had struggled to get some sort of peace. I had to see him at some point and it was probably easier to do it this way rather than during an awkward grocery store run in. Tapping the numbers was second nature and I didn’t even hesitate on a single digit. I held the phone to my ear as I coached myself to stay cool.

“Hello?” A man’s voice came over the line. I hadn’t heard it in nearly a year, but it still sounded the same. “Hello?”

“Hey. . . It’s me,” I said, swallowing back every urge that wanted to throw the phone into the street and speed away. “I really need to talk to someone. Are you free right now?” There was a sigh then silence. I thought he’d hung up on me, but a jostling noise told me he was still there.

“Sure, where do you want to meet?” He asked, his tone flat.

“Joe’s Coffee Shop? Half an hour?” I asked. I felt a little bad about tricking him, but then again I had bills to pay and he clearly was already done with me. So I didn’t feel too bad. 

“Okay, see you there,” he said before hanging up. 

There are scars that'll never ever show themselves

You get when you're left alone too long in Hell

The drive to the coffee shop was short thankfully and I was able to get a good parking spot to wrangle my targets into it. Hereford had its ups and downs, but the ups were that it really wasn’t as big as everyone thought. My ex and I had lived there for most of our adult lives before we split. Going our separate ways had meant chaos and disarray at first, but then I got my current job after a few months and it was something I could throw myself into. 

We stayed in this area because while it was on the west coast, it was also a close knit community of sorts. People knew each other, local places were more abundant than chains, it just felt like back home. At Joe’s, I pulled up to park on the street before getting out of my black sedan. 

Joe’s Coffee Shop was a local favorite with an outdoor patio. It was April and a sunny day so there were lots of people there sunbathing while sipping on iced coffees. Going in, I ordered one myself before picking a spot outside. Lazily sipping my drink, I pulled out my phone to check the time. I was never patient and even when I was early and he was on time, it had always got on my nerves. 

“Hey.” 

I looked up to see him standing there with that blank look he always had. Mostly hidden by his black face mask. It was the same one I made him that had the lower half of a skull printed onto it. He always wore a balaclava with a similar print, but walking around with that got him into trouble a lot. So, I made a face mask for him. I had taken the time to learn to sew and make patterns when I was not a crafty person. Seeing him still wearing it, I was thrown off my game.

“Hey Simon,” I said, standing up. Did I hug him? Shake hands? High five? Regret was filling my stomach as he stood there. We’d divorced over a year ago and hadn’t talked to each other since, but now his stupid unpaid parking tickets brought him back into my life.

We were supposed to be soulmates. We had the marks that everyone was born with. Everyone had a soulmate, people even had more than one at a time. It was supposed to mean we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, like some magical fairy tale that adults tell children. 

If you found your soulmate you would feel more deeply, be more in tune with the other, have this special bond that no one else could have with you. Simon and I had had that bond. 

But then we didn’t. 

Things changed and we lost the bond or it broke or something and we couldn’t hack it. So, we divorced. I covered my mark on my hand with a small black bar tattoo, but Simon didn’t. I hated that he still had it. Just three simple arrows in a row on his forearm. We were meant to be together, so say the powers that be, but we proved them wrong. Life wasn’t a fairy tale. 

“Everythin’ okay?” He asked, sitting across from me, shaking me from my thoughts.

“Yeah, just. . . Got lost for a second,” I said, sitting down as well. 

“Are you seein’ that counselor still?” He asked. I nodded, taking a deep breath. I wasn’t there to catch up, I was there to collect a bounty. “Good,” he said.

“The reason I called you to talk in person is that I have a question,” I said, pulling out the legal paperwork. 

“About what?” Simon asked with a frown.

“12 unpaid parking tickets? You have 12 unpaid parking tickets?” I asked as I shook my head at him, holding up the warrant.

“What about them?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at the papers. “How do you know about that?” 

“Because you’ve got a warrant out for your arrest,” I said. “And I’m here to take you in.”

“Jesus,” Simon groaned, rolling his eyes as he shook his head. “You’re a bounty hunter now?”

“Yup. I was going to turn yours down, but the money was too good to give to someone else,” I said with a snort. Simon pinched his nose as he stayed sitting.

“This is a joke, isn’t it? It’s a really bad joke,” he said, looking at me. “Just tell me it’s a joke.”

“Not a joke,” I said, showing my badge and permit. “You never paid the tickets or showed up to court.” 

“Fuck me,” Simon hissed. 

“Everythin’ okay, Simon?” A Scottish brogue said.

I turned to see another man with a mohawk and the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen walk over with a pair of coffees in hand. Wait a second. 

“Don’t tell me, you’re Johnny MacTavish?” I asked, looking up at him. 

“Uh, I am,” the man said, frowning as he looked at me.

“Oh wow, this has got to be the luckiest break ever!” I said, laughing as I stood up. 

“Simon?” Johnny said, frowning.

“Easiest job I’ve ever had,” I said, pulling out the handcuffs from my belt.

“You’re not actually goin’ to take me in,” Simon said, tilting his head to look up at me. “This is just a heads up, right?”

“Oh no. I’m for real arresting you both right now,” I said. “Unpaid parking tickets, jay walking and traffic tickets, no shows in court, and a fucking emu? This is truly an April Christmas miracle.” 

“I’m still confused, Simon?” Johnny said, looking at the other man. 

“Wait, how do you two know each other?” I asked, realizing they had shown up together.

“Johnny, this my ex-wife,” Simon said as he stood up. “And this is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

I did not expect to feel that pang in my chest hit so hard. Of course he moved on. Why wouldn’t he? He had been the more grounded of us after the dust settled. I had no right to feel jealous or hurt by it. If he hadn’t been in trouble then I would have had no idea anyways. 

“Wait, so she’s the one-” Johnny started.

“Yes, she is the one,” Simon nodded. “Now, when you’re done havin’ a laugh, I have to go. We have plans. Can’t believe after almost a year of not talkin’ and avoidin’ each other this is how you choose to show up again.”

“Oh, uh, it was nice to meet you,” Johnny said, tentatively holding out his hand for me to take after setting his drinks down. Fuck this. I slapped a cuff onto Johnny who cried out in confusion as I easily turned him to get his other hand. 

“I wasn’t kidding,” I grunted as I handled Johnny, directing him to my car.

“Are you fucking’ kiddin’ me right now!?” Simon snapped. 

“Like I said, I have arrest warrants for both of you. You’re lucky I even told you that,” I snapped back at him. Opening the car door, I put Johnny in the back before shutting the door. Simon didn’t seem to think it was going to go far, instead choosing to get on the phone with someone. 

“Yes, hello?” He said before I ripped his phone from him to hang up. “What the hell!?”

“Simon, just let me cuff you so we can get this over with and we can move on with our lives,” I said. 

“What is wrong with you? Normal ex’s don’t arrest each other,” he said, as I was able to get the cuffs on him just as easily.

“Yeah, well, we’re not normal ex’s,” I said with a sigh, putting the cuffs extra tight on his wrists. “Now shut up and get in the car.” Dragging him to the other side, I pushed him in next to Johnny before getting in myself. 

“Are we being kidnapped?” Johnny asked as I pulled out onto the road.

“You’ve both have warrants out for your arrest because you two dumbasses didn’t pay tickets on time or show up to court,” I said. “5 years we were together and you never learned to pay the damn tickets.”

“I was goin’ to pay them,” Simon said with a huff. “I’ve been busy.”

“Uh huh,” I said, rolling my eyes at him. Johnny seemed to just be in a constant state of confusion, but kept quiet at least. The drive to the police station was shorand usually if there was more than one to book I would have other people with me, but given that those two weren’t going to really give me trouble, I didn’t worry too much. With both of them in cuffs and compliant, I was able to get them booked easily enough. 

“Hey, Riley,” the officer at the desk, Roach, called as Simon and Johnny were being taken to be processed. I paused in my get away, ready to run as far and fast as I could.

They tried to keep in the secrets that you wouldn't tell

But they just stripped you for parts you had to sell

“Yeah?” I said, walking back over. I could see Simon staring at me hard from the cubicle he was in with Johnny that was just a couple of meters away. No doubt he heard the officer call me back over, still using his last name.

“Just need you to sign a few things for us,” Roach said. 

“Alright fine, but it better be quick, I got a lunch date with a Blood Mary,” I said with a huff. 

“You never changed your name,” Simon said, looking at me with a frown. 

“Uh… No, no I did not,” I said, keeping my eyes on the papers in front of me. 

“Why didn’t you change your name?” He asked.

“Because it’s a bitch to file paperwork and I’ve already been writing it for nearly 5 years. I made it a habit,” I said, glancing at him.

“No, no, you were filin’ for divorce before you even brought it up to me. You filed everythin’ before sayin’ a word,” Simon pushed. “Why didn’t you change your name?”

“I swear to god, Simon,” I hissed, slamming the pen on the counter. The small police station should have been buzzing about with noise, but as Simon kept demanding, everything and everyone went quiet. 

“Just tell me why you didn’t change your last name,” he pushed. 

“Because I still love you, okay?!” I snapped, whirling to glare at him. “I still love you, but we are not good together and it’s one piece of us that I can have without trouble. So there, there’s your answer, in front of your new boyfriend, too.”

“Love,” Simon said with a sigh. 

“Don’t,” I said, cutting him off. “Anything else for me to sign?” I asked, turning back to glare at Roach. 

“Uh, no that’s it,” Roach said. I hadn’t meant to crumble so easily. I thought I was stronger than that, but seeing him again, with someone else. . . What was I supposed to do? We used to be so good together, but then everything happened and shit hit the fan. I couldn’t be as soft as I once was and I couldn’t let him back in. It wasn’t fair to him. Not after the shit I put him through. 

“Thanks,” I said, turning on my heel. Thankfully no one called after me again, letting me get to my car and drive home in peace. Getting home, I walked in to shut the door behind me. It was barely 2pm but there I was going right for the vodka in my freezer. I’d been sober almost four months, but seeing Simon. . . I couldn’t. It was supposed to be an easy grab and go, he’d get pissed and grouchy while I hauled his ass to jail. 

Then it turned into a sudden confession at the police station in front of everyone and their dog to see and hear. I hoped that was the last I’d seen of him for a while. If ever. 

Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

Pulling a glass from my cupboard, I put a handful of ice in it before filling it with the liquor. I brought the glass to my lips, but paused. On the fridge was a magnet with a purple heart on it and the name ‘Dierdre’ in cursive letters. Staring at it, I held onto the drink as that ache brought back by Simon deepened. Like a scab reopening to become infected. The burning smell of the vodka was enough to pull me from scratching that open wound. Slowly, I set the glass down. That job was a mistake and I knew it the whole time. I thought maybe the money would soften any damage done or any hurt feelings, but it hadn’t done a damn thing.

Taking a deep breath as my mind threatened to unravel any second, I reached out to grab the bottle of vodka. Unscrewing the cap, I let it drop to the counter. The feel of the icy bottle in my hand helped pull me up from the warmth of depression that was pulling me into its arms. I tipped the bottle to watch the clear liquid pour into the sink, splashing and running down the drain. When the bottle was empty, I did the same to the drink I had made. 

Standing in silence, I let out a sigh before moving to my living room, leaving the empty bottle on the counter.

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

I pulled off my boots and jacket, texting Farah that I had everything signed and turned in and that I was done for the day. Shutting my phone off, I moved to flop onto the couch after peeling off my tight jeans. My bra went flying behind me, letting me settle in the warm weather with my windows open. The apartment was modest as Simon had kept almost everything in the divorce. I didn’t want it, so I left the house and anything I didn’t readily need with him. It was for the best. I didn’t need much and it made for less stuff when I moved. 

Flipping on the TV, I turned it to good ol’ golf. I could put golf on at any time and it would put me in a dreamless sleep. That was what I needed. No dreams, no thoughts, no worries or wonders. Just the comfortable void that I could exist in without overwhelming feelings of any kind. In minutes I was passed out on the couch. 

Until someone pounded on my front door. 

Groggily, I looked around, confused as the sun had set and I was chilly in my underwear and tank top. Another loud knock came that had me glaring at the offending door. 

“I’m coming!” I yelled, going to the door. Beside it in a small side table, I hid a Glock for when unsolicited callers came to the door. It was registered and everything, but wasn’t kept completely legal considering it wasn’t locked up with the ammo separated. My previous job and being a bounty hunter didn’t exactly make for the safest of conditions and the bad guys wouldn’t wait for me to put in my combination to my safe. “Who is it?” I asked, hand on the gun hidden under the table top. 

“It’s Simon.” Quiet a moment, I scrunched my face in frustration while holding back the urge to tell him to fuck off.

“What do you want?” I asked, not letting him in or taking my hand off the gun. 

“I want to talk to you,” he said. I heard him shifting around, waiting for me to answer. The thought of climbing out my window crossed my mind, but he’d just follow right behind me. Sighing heavily, I took my hand from the gun before I unlocked the door to open it. “Thank. . . You,” he said, his eyes trailing down my body. “Well then.”

“I was napping,” I grumbled, stepping aside. “Besides you’ve seen more of that.” I pushed the door to shut it, but it stopped when Johnny popped in. “Excuse me?” I said, looking between the two. 

“We need to talk about earlier,” Simon said as Johnny walked in. “All three of us.”

“I don’t understand,” I groaned, scrubbing my face. “Why are both of you here?”

“Do you wanna put some pants on? We can turn around,” Johnny offered. I stared at him before looking to Simon. 

“Just go have a seat on the couch, Darlin’,” Simon said with a soft sigh, rubbing Johnny’s arm. My eye twitched at the gesture and nickname, but I stayed quiet. 

“I’ll be right back,” I said, going to the bedroom which was technically part of the living room. It had a partition set up to kind of offer a sense of it being a different room, but I didn’t try that hard. I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and hoodie to pull on before I rejoined the two men. Johnny sat on the couch, watching some show on TV that had come on during my nap while Simon was in the kitchen, holding the empty liquor bottle. 

I didn't want to believe how much you needed help

And I just left you to be all by yourself

“I thought you said you were goin’ to counselin’,” he said softly. 

“I am,” I said, taking the bottle from him to put in the recycling. “It was in the freezer from almost 6 months ago. I poured it out.”

“Are you bein’ honest with me?” Simon asked, looking at me. His dark eyes looked scared, worried, unsure. It was more than he gave me earlier that day at the coffee shop.

“I am,” I said. “Promise.”

“Good,” Simon said with a nod before motioning to the couch.

“So, what was it you two wanted to talk about?” I asked, pulling over a chair from my table as Simon sat next to Johnny. 

“Aren’t you curious how we found ye?” Johnny asked as I turned off the TV. 

“Not really. I know how you found me,” I said. “One of two options. Either you tracked me back through my phone records or you talked to my office manager, Farah. Who honestly should know better than to give my address out, but I assumed you pestered her enough that she caved.”

“Wow, she is good Simon,” Johnny said with a smile. 

“I told you,” Simon said with a chuckle. I felt a hint of heat in my cheeks. Simon told Johnny about me? About how I was good at seeing things others didn’t? “Sorry, I told him you used to be a private investigator and he thinks it’s the greatest thing.”

“I love all those detective movies where the police don’t believe the evidence, but that rogue investigator finds it all out and cracks the case!” Johnny said excitedly. It was almost annoying, but it was also sweet. I hadn’t felt excited, truly excited, like that in a long time and didn’t know if I ever could again.

“It was mostly catching people cheating on each other,” I said, rubbing my face. “Hate to break the dream for ya.”

“That’s not what Simon said,” Johnny said. It was Simon’s turn to get a bit red in the cheeks. 

“Oh really? What did he say?” I asked, crossing my legs as I leaned forward.

“Not why we’re here,” Simon said, covering Johnny’s mouth with his hand. 

“Then why are you here?” I asked, turning my attention to him. 

“We’re here to talk about us,” Simon said, motioning between me and him. 

“What’s there to talk about?” I asked, sitting back up to cross my arms over my chest. “We’re divorced. We gave it a shot and it didn’t work out.”

“No, we gave it a shot and you called it quits. I was willin’ to work it out,” Simon said with a sigh.

“Obviously you don’t want to anymore, you brought your boyfriend over,” I said, motioning to Johnny.

“Johnny, go ahead and show her,” Simon said, looking to the other. 

“Show me what?” I asked. Johnny glanced from me to Simon before he pulled up his shirt and pulled his pants down a bit. On his right hip was his soulmate mark. I swallowed hard, looking at it as tears pricked my eyes. It was the same as me and Simon’s. Three small arrows. “Well, good for you, you found a soulmate after I covered my mark,” I said. “You wanted to let me know you’d moved on completely and that I shouldn’t contact you again.”

“No, that’s not it,” Simon said as Johnny sat back down.

“Then what is it, Simon?” I snapped. “What do you want? I filed for divorce, I left you, I moved away from you, and the first time I called you in nearly a year is to arrest you, so you think that means anything?”

And now I wish I had seen that you weren't doing well

But I just came back to see how hard you fell

“You said at the station that you were still in love with me,” Simon said.

“No, I said I still loved you. There’s a difference. I’m not in love with you,” I said. It was mean and cruel, but I couldn’t let him think there was a chance we’d have a happily ever after. I was too much of a mess and barely managed to keep myself going most days as a functioning adult. 

“But you could be,” Johnny said. I narrowed my eyes at him, snarling almost, but he didn’t flinch. “You could fall back in love with him.”

“I. . . I am not the person I used to be, Simon,” I said, trying to swallow back tears. “I’m not the girl you fell in love with and I probably won’t ever be her again. I’m not who you want or need.” 

“Maybe Johnny’s right,” Simon said, scooting closer to me. “We’re both different people, but we could fall in love again.”

“It has been over a year, Simon,” I said. “You moved on with Johnny and I moved on. What is the point of us getting back together? We’re not good together.”

“No, we were,” Simon said. “We just lost each other when we lost Dierdre.”

“Don’t,” I snapped, close to losing it. “Don’t bring her into this.” 

Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“You shut down so hard and pushed me so far away when we lost her, Love,” Simon said, reaching out to touch my knee. I pulled away instantly like his touch burned me. I sat rigid in my seat as I refused to look at him. “We made mistakes and we fucked up. I fucked up. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me.” His voice was catching, making it hard to steel myself, to keep myself in my self appointed isolation. “It’s not your fault and I don’t blame you for anythin’. The drinkin’, the lyin’, the fights, I don’t blame you. Neither of us were in the right. I. . . I never stopped lovin’ you. Even when I met Johnny, I still loved you just as much as I did before. I still do.”

I shook my head, feeling my shell crack as tears slid down my face. 

“You had a miscarriage, Love. We lost our baby girl and I thought I lost you too,” Simon choked out. We didn’t talk like this after we got home from the hospital. I had been seven months pregnant when something happened. There were sharp pains that I shouldn’t have had. Before we knew it I was in the hospital bleeding, hemorrhaging. The sac she was in didn’t develop right and it burst. By the time I was in delivery she was already gone. I barely made it out alive. 

“You’re not just one event in your Simon’s life,” Johnny said suddenly, making me flinch. “A loss of a child is one of the hardest emotional pains to endure and a lot of couples do divorce afterwards because it seems like the world has come down upon you. It’s okay to feel those feelings and work through them, but it seems that you didn’t want to or didn’t have the capacity at the time to work through it with Simon. These things take time and that may be what was needed. Time.”

“Johnny was my counselor for a while,” Simon said with a soft chuckle. I looked at him, seeing the tears running down his cheeks, his mask off. It was the first time I had seen his face since before the hospital visit. “Then for obvious reasons I started seein’ a different counselor.”

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

“The heart wants what it wants,” Johnny said with a soft smile and a shrug. “All that aside, with everything Simon has told me, I couldn’t deny him of seeing you. He loves you too much and I love him. I want us to be happy and even if that means we have separate relationships with Simon or if you just want to be friends again, I am all for it. Being married and together for so long, as well as soulmates, makes for an intense relationship, but also one you can’t just forget and burn a bridge to with something like you guys. All I ask is that you consider it and we’ll work through it together.”

“I don’t know,” I said softly. “I don’t think I’m ready or ever will be ready.”

“Love,” Simon said, reaching out to grasp my hand that had gripped my knee tightly. “We don’t have to pick up where we left off. I just. . . I need you in my life. Please.” 

God, the feel of his hand around mine made me want to curl into a ball in his lap, let him rock me and hold me. It was so hard to keep myself in check. 

“So, this is about making yourself feel better?” I said, trying to make a wedge between us. He needed to leave and move on with Johnny. They could be happy together, adopt, get a dog. I was too broken and missing pieces. There was no way that I could go back to him, not because he had been the cause, but because I was certain I would only hurt him again when he saw how badly I was cracked. “I told you, Simon. I am not who I was when we met, let alone when we got married. This version of me is not someone who is the loving and caring partner that is soft and a safe place to land.”

Build me up or tear me down, I will never make a sound

Build me up or tear me down

“How about a reset?” Johnny said. I looked at him confused, unsure what he was getting at. “You wipe the slate clean, you start over. That means, you start out as friends again, move on from there. I find it helps couples that feel they can’t get over certain bumps in the road to have an imaginary reset button. It’s been a year since you two have been around each other, you’re obviously in different places in your lives, and you have changed. A reset would probably be the best thing for you two if you want to be around one another again.”

“So what, we just pretend nothing happened before now?” I asked with a scoff.

“No, you definitely don’t do that,” Johnny said. “You start fresh. You acknowledge that you both have a past, but you don’t work around it. You work with it.” 

“I’m on board for whatever you want,” Simon said. I took a deep breath, holding Simon’s hand without realizing it. 

Run a dagger through my chest, I believe it's for the best

Build me up or tear me down

“I can’t,” I said, pulling my hand away from him. “I just can’t.” That sucking pit in my chest that had snuck up on me was gasping to get more of me. 

“You don’t have to punish yourself for losing a child,” Johnny said. He had gone to his knees in front of me, making me see his face as he looked up at me. His words were spoken softly, but a force to pull me back from that place I was comfortable with. Where it was dark and lonely and it made sense to feel guilt. “You did everything you could to keep her safe and loved her so much. You were a good mum. It’s not your fault.”

All I could do was stare at him as he nodded, taking my shaky, clammy hands in his large, rough ones. I had manhandled him into cuffs earlier without hesitation, moving on instinct, and now I was in his calm, grounding grasp. “But-”

“It will never be your fault. There is no need to punish you for something that was not your doing. You deserve to be loved and have someone be there for you. This was not a failure on your part and never will be. You can let go of that weight. You’re not alone anymore and don’t have to be again.”

There are scars that'll never ever show themselves

You get when you're left alone too long in Hell

“Okay,” I choked out. “I. . . I want to try the reset thing.”

“We’ll go slow and easy,” Simon said. 

“I want to start as friends, with both you and Johnny,” I said looking from Simon to Johnny.

“That’s the most I would ask for,” Johnny said, a smile on his face. 

“Give me some time right now. I’ll text you later and we’ll go from there, okay?” I said, needing to remember to breathe.

They tried to keep in the secrets that you wouldn't tell

But they just stripped you for parts you had to sell

“Sounds good,” Simon said, a smile spreading across his face as well. Even though we got what we all wanted apparently, why was I the only one not smiling? Why did it feel like I wasn’t going to get what was promised? The only person dangling the carrot in front of me was myself and I knew the bitch would never let me have it if someone didn’t make her.

“I’m gonna give you two a minute, I’ll be out in the car,” Johnny said, getting up. He dropped a kiss to Simon’s head and waved to me before letting himself out. 

“What?” I said, looking at Simon as he stared me down.

“Do you really want to do this? To reset?” He asked. 

“If I didn’t, would I have said yes to it?” I asked, rolling my eyes, unable to keep from putting up my guards.

“No, but that doesn’t mean you’re lettin’ it all out there,” he said. 

“I just. . . I don’t know. I feel like I let two strangers into my apartment to emotionally bully me into a relationship that I am terrified of,” I said with a sigh. “I don’t know how to be or to act around you anymore.”

“It’s okay,” Simon said, taking my hand in his. It was warm and rough, just like always. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll give you all the time and space you want.”

“What if I don’t want space?” I blurted out. I had shut down after Dierdre, pushed everyone away, and made myself alone. Like Johnny had figured out, I was punishing myself for my daughter’s death. I did that to myself because it felt like the right thing to do at the time, but I didn’t want it anymore. Not when Simon wanted me back, but. . . 

“What do you mean?” Simon asked.

“I mean. . . I am so tired of being alone and I am so tired of pushing people away. I don’t care about the sex or kissing, I just don’t want to be alone again,” I said, managing to get it out before I broke down into sobs. 

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

Simon didn’t let go of me. Slowly, he pulled me from my chair to set me in his lap. His long arms wrapped around me, holding me tight as I sobbed against him. 

It had been so long since I’d had that simple comfort that I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to go slow and stay home by myself. I wanted to go with Simon and Johnny and just stop being fucking alone. It was as if Simon was reading my mind as the back of my hand began to itch under my tattoo. 

“Why don’t you come home with us for a while?” Simon asked. “Don’t worry about anythin’, I’ll help you pack a bag and when you feel up to it, we’ll come back.”

Build me up or tear me down, I will never make a sound

Build me up or tear me down

“Okay,” I nodded, hiccuping from crying so hard. There was no fight left in me as he continued to hold me, only taking out his phone to text Johnny. A few more minutes and I walked with him like a child holding their parents hand to their bedroom where the monsters were. We packed a basic bag before I slid on shoes then grabbed my keys, phone, and wallet. With my place locked up, Simon led me out to the car where Johnny was waiting in the driver’s seat. He didn’t say a word or make any fuss as Simon got in the back with me to hold me as we drove back to their house. 

I knew Simon had sold our old house six months ago, getting another one down the street from it. It was a blessing because I would not be able to go back into that house. Brief flashes of how we had worked to make it ours, the decorations, furniture, the nursery ran through my mind. But instead of breaking down and having a drink, I nuzzled against Simon’s chest as his heavy arm kept me close.

Run a dagger through my chest, I believe it's for the best

Build me up or tear me down

Once there, I walked in holding Simon’s hand. Johnny didn’t seem surprised at all by any of it. In fact it was almost like he was expecting it. “Here’s some water and ibuprofen, you probably have a headache and are dehydrated,” he said as he handed me both items.

“Thanks,” I said, taking them. 

“If you’re hungry we can order something or you’re more than welcome to lay down or even take a shower, whatever you’d like,” Johnny said as he took my bag for me. Going down the hall and straight to their room. I knew it was their room because it had a huge bed I could see from the front. 

“I can sleep on the couch or the guest room,” I said, trying to back peddle from something I didn’t even realize was taking off so quickly.

“Don’t worry about,” Johnny said. “You’re probably touch starved and your soulmates haven’t been around in a year. It’ll create a tension of sorts, make you irritable, cause mood swings, depression, anxiety, general mental disarray. The best thing to do for it, if you can, is to be with your soulmates. That means you share the bed with us.”

“Us?” I said, my voice cracking.

If I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“Simon will sleep in the middle, don’t worry,” Johnny said as he walked to the closet to grab extra pillows and blankets. 

“I think I’ve just been bamboozled,” I mumbled. That little shit knew all along that I’d end up coming home with them. He probably knew about the tickets! Knew that I was a bounty hunter! I was going to have to keep my eye on him. 

“Probably,” Simon said with a chuckle. “He’s shifty like that. But, he is right. You’re probably touch starved, so you’re stayin’ in the same bed as us. Do you want to shower or anythin’?” 

“I just want to lay down. My head is killing me and I’m a bit overwhelmed,” I said.

“Fair enough, keep drinkin’ the water though,” Simon said as he led me to the bedroom. 

“Yes, Sir,” I said with a snort before taking a drink of the water.

“Oh, yeah, Simon is definitely, Sir,” Johnny said as he put the pillows and blankets on the bed for me. I couldn’t help but choke on my water. “Oh, too soon?”

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

“I think she just needs to rest,” Simon said, patting me on the back. 

“Okay,” Johnny said with a shrug. “Here’s a wet cloth for ye too.” He handed me one for my eyes before walking out. 

“Here, you get settled,” Simon said, helping me get into the large, California King sized bed. “Need anything else?” 

If I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“No, I think I’m good,” I said, letting him drape the wet cloth over my forehead. 

“Alright. I’m gonna go take a shower then I’ll be in to lay down with you, okay?” He said.

“Okay,” I mumbled, already falling asleep. It didn’t take long for me to do just that, but I woke up later as Simon was sliding into bed. All the noises were gone from the usual household that was awake, telling me everyone was going to bed. I felt Simon lay on his back, making it easy for me to move to lay with my arm over his belly. What I didn’t expect was another arm to lay over mine. At first I wanted to pull away, but the longer I let it stay, the more it felt right.

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

Masterlist

Taglist: @birdstoprey @sebbytheraccoon @pricescigar @alwaysshallow @sae1kie @sleepydang @lexi-zsy09 @ghostlywhiskey @ghosts-cyphera @poohkie90 @neothewitch @shadofireshinobi @sadslasher13 @0alk0msan @xaestheticalien

#john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #soapghost #soap x reader #john mactavish #johnny mactavish/reader #soap/reader/ghost

[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || eight

there are written parts :)

note that the timeline or educations may not add up but just ignore it because i don't have the brain power to sync up THIRTEEN + 1 's education schedules

sorry for the late chpt. I was really sick so i tried my best on this chpt. next chpt will be longer, i promise.

warnings: some level of chae-young attempting infidelity, swearing

wonwoo came home to find yn passed out on the couch.

"you okay?" - wonwoo

"i need sleep. i've been stuck at school finishing my final project and i just finished. now i have to worry about the stupid reunion in two days. i have no dress and i look like a zombie. life is great." - yn

"go take a shower. i'll get the guys to help you. jeonghan has connections." - wonwoo

the word shock wasn't enough to describe the look on everyone's faces when yn and wonwoo walked in through the door.

some background information: in the one week before this gathering, yn had completed her pieces for the museum, her final project for university and all her outstanding commissions. her exhibit had been very successful and she had earned quite a significant amount of money.

"yn. is that your boyfriend?" - aunt

"yes. this is jeon wonwoo, my boyfriend." - yn

"nice to meet you, my name is jeon wonwoo." - wonwoo

"yn-noona... isn't that the streamer gameboi? you're dating Korea's number 1 [game name] player?" - younger cousin

"no way..."

the whispers in the event room got louder and louder until the people she hated finally came towards her. it was evident that chae-young was gawking at wonwoo. she didn't even bother to hide her lovestruck expression from her husband.

"so this is the new guy you have, huh yn." - mother

"good morning, i'm jeon wonwoo." - wonwoo

it seemed like he had to repeat himself often today.

"what's your net worth?" a disrespectful question right off the bat was expected and both yn and wonwoo had prepared for it.

without missing a beat, wonwoo simply smiled and said, "14 million. I am sure that I have enough to take care of yn for the rest of our lives."

the jealousy that clouded chae-young's face was the best thing that yn had ever seen.

sitting at the table was very awkward because they were surrounded by whispers and glances.

“so wonwoo. what do you work as?” chae-young’s husband was actually a very nice man. he was always kind to yn and her brother and was the complete opposite of his distasteful wife.

“i’m a gamer. i’m currently in talks of joining [fictional korea no.1 pro gamer team]. that deal closes before june,” - wonwoo

“ah i see. what about you, yn? what are you working as now?” this question was on everyone’s mind. some with ulterior motives.

“up until thursday, i was a museum part-timer and finishing university. but i recently managed to sell many of my art pieces and have made quite a name for myself in the past three days. in case you all didn’t know, almost every artwork in this building was made by me over the last 4 years.” - yn

the room was silent. you could hear a pin drop and wonwoo couldn’t help but smile to himself.

let’s walk through the real train of events.

after the “fake-dating” agreement, wonwoo, minghao, mingyu and dokyeom had helped yn move every piece of her artworks over the years to minghao’s studio to sort through them. it took them almost 30 hours to categorise. by monday, they had organised the auction within the museum, an exhibition for her other works and an online bidding website for exclusive works. from tuesday to thursday, the auctions and exhibitions opened.

every one of yn’s artworks sold for incredibly high prices. this particular hotel that the family reunion was, had purchased a significant amount of said artworks.

“you mean you painted that painting of a phoenix?” - uncle

“i did that 2 years ago.” - yn

“and that ceramic heart? that was you?” - aunt

“yes.” - yn

wonwoo could not help but smile at yn’s nonchalent bragging. just then, a hand reached across to tap his.

“so~ wonwoo-oppa~ how did you and yn meet?" chae-young began to blatantly flirt with wonwoo while her HUSBAND sat helplessly beside her.

“i commissioned an art piece from her and fell in love at first sight.” wonwoo forcefully took back his hand before leaning closer to yn, earning a scowl from chae-young.

yn was’t exaggerating when she described all of chae-young’s antics.

here’s a list of the things she tried but failed to do. seduce wonwoo, yn’s “boyfriend”, spill water on yn, pretend that yn stepped on her foot on purpose, claim yn slapped her.

how embarrassing.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23

ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

main masterlist

smau socials

previous I next

tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees @hamji-hae @hyuckxtagram

#caratsland #wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo smau #seventeen headcanons #wonwoo fluff #seventeen imagines #svt fluff #wonwoo scenarios #svt x reader #dino x reader #dk x reader #hoshi x reader #jeonghan x reader #joshua x reader #jun x reader #svt #svt masterlist #svt smau #jeongcheol #seoksoo #soonhoon #verkwan #junhao #gameboy #kpop #seventeen reactions #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader

[outerbankspov]

- thank you love for your passionates ❤️ @giannadrichardson-blog

You and Drew have been dating since outer banks season one and you adore one another more than anything. The way you both met was a story you both say “We will tell our kids about this one day”… you needed a job asap in order to get recognized by the public for your future singing career so you signed up to play the love interest of a character name “Rafe Cameron’ WHO happens to be played by Drew Starkey. You for sure saw his face around in your favorite movie “Love Simon” and since then you’ve been together and laughed about him in that film.

- Present day.

“Drew!!” You squeal as you run into your shared bedroom before you jump up and down in excitement. “What’s up, baby?” He smiles while asking you. “My agent just called… and they gave me a green light to tour my album!!’ He jumps off the bed to catch you in his arms. “BABY?? WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS GOOD!” he kisses your lips as you smile up at him nervously. “What’s that Face about?” He asked as he Brough you down with him on the bed. “Thing is it starts in 3 weeks..” You closed your eyes shut. “Well, that’s good news. What with the face?” He asks again, You bit your lip and shook your head “Can you come with?” Knowing this the worse idea to ask is because you know Drew has to stay just in case he gets a call back from his agent about the new movie he was offered that will be filming in ITALY. “Baby.. you know I would to go with you but I can’t” You nod and looks down, pushing your hair behind both ears and smiling weekly as you plaid with your nails. GOD you know you can’t do this without him, you would be a wreck you know that for sure. “What’s going on in that pretty little mind of yours?” “I just really wish you could come, what if I fuck up?? I will never forgive myself” A tear slipped passed your eyes and Drew brushed it away.

“My love you are gonna be so good I promise you” you sniffle and nod. “You’re just saying that because your my boyfriend-” , “No I’m saying that because I believe you can. Baby of course you can” he kisses your forehead and you finally accept it.

-

Tour has been a real fun… scary experience. Going out on stage and seeing a huge crowd every two days and seeing them actually enjoy your music made you feel like you’re doing something right. But apart of you still wishes Drew was there, you go to sleep every night after a FaceTime with him and talk about your day and how nervous you were. This time when calling Drew, he didn’t answer. You started to get worried but soon after got a text saying “a bit busy. Talk later” confused you just decided to go to sleep.

“Y/N YOU ARE ON IN- 3,2,1 GO” your manager tells you. You put the biggest smile on your face and runs out on stage greeting everyone. “Hello NEW YORK CITY!! As you might know I’m dedicating this night to my love Drew Starkey, we actually met on this day 4 years ago… kinda insane! All I’m asking for you all is to enjoy this night like I’m gonna be and yell loud !!” The group cheered and smiled. You started singing and you Just felt so free until a gut feeling and the feeling in the air made you want to shut down. God you hate this, it’s a big night and your stupid mind wants to shut down now ???. You finish the song and runs off of stage.

“Y/n? What’s up?” Your manager ask calmly.

“Stacy. I can’t do this- it’s like my hearts being pul-“ you was interrupted by a call she picked up. She nodded and said okay to the person and hung up. “Wiped those tears baby! Go back on stage !! You got this” she encouraged, and like the person you was you walked out again and started singing. At this part of the song no one sings because they know it’s a slow part that you enjoy so much. Nope not today- you start to sing and it seems like you got 6 sense because all of a sudden you felt better, it’s like their was this light telling you to continue. Once you was done you made your way back stage ready to run to your manager put stop in your tracks, turning around you see him, them.

“DREW??” You squeal as you jump into his arms. “You’re here? You’re really here!” You kisses his lips and he chuckles. “ m’course I’m here. Wouldn’t want to miss this day ever. Or any other” he looks at you with a knowing look at you jump in excitement. “You’re staying ?” He nods and you kiss him again. So beyond excited and your heart felt completed. “How about we get something to eat baby?” You smile up at him and nod. “I will like that”. You couldn’t believe it, you look at your other friend and runs into their arms. “You guys are amazing”. The day was spent like any other, Drew by your side constantly kissing you and your best of friends next to you.

#outer banks #obx #drew starkey #drew starkey fluff #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey x fem!reader #rafe cameron x smut #rafe x y/n #drew x y/n #omfg i love this #i hope you like this

[buckymorelikefuckme]

and really bad eggs

pirate king wanda x fem reader

words: 2.1k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** mentions and slight description of injury, hurt/comfort, smüt, scissoring. if i missed anything pls let me know!

a/n: well i guess it's a series now lmao~ is 3am posting going to become my new thing? we shall see. i hope you enjoy :) also, there's a cameo of two of our fave dudes in here hehe! unbeta'd. any and all mistakes are mine. feedback is encouraged & appreciated ♡

part 1 ❀ part 2 ❀ part 4

You pace impatiently along the deck, eyes straining through the moonlight as you search for the return of your crew mates and captain. They should've been back ages ago. You'd been given strict instruction to stay on the ship, the captain using the excuse of your poor combat skills for her reasoning.

“I've been practicing with Natasha,” you'd protested as you watched Wanda gather her effects.

You would be approaching the port soon and she always liked being ready to step off the ship the moment it was docked. Feeling desperate yet helpless, you continued staring at your lover as she checked her pistols and secured her sword.

Wanda sighed. “Yes, and I've heard of your improvement,” she admitted. “But Natasha still thinks you need more time before you're ready for a real fight.”

“You say all the time how rare fights happen once the villagers realize who you are!” you retorted.

“I am not going to argue with you on this,” she replied, her tone firm. “My mind is made up. You will stay here.”

You clenched your jaw. “Are you saying this as my captain, or as my lover?”

Wanda spun to face you with a hard look. You lifted your chin, having been on the receiving end of such an expression several times before. She was always calling you stubborn, and that wasn't going to change any time soon.

“When did I stop being both, hm?” she wondered, taking slow, deliberate steps towards you. “What have I done to deserve this treatment?”

You didn’t reply, frowning as you broke your stare. When Wanda spoke again, it was low, so quiet it was almost a whisper.

“I could not live with the thought of you getting hurt, or worse, because you could not defend yourself properly,” she confessed. “Perhaps I do not express myself well enough, if you are under the impression that I could be so impassive with your precious life.”

You blinked away the tears that built in your eyes.

“I have fought in my fair share of duals, and even I have had many close calls, despite my years of training,” she added, and you hated the reminder, having bore witness to the scars that decorate her skin to prove her words. She cupped your cheeks, forcing you to meet her imploring gaze. “I will not have your blood on my hands.”

A shaky breath escaped you, still feeling utterly helpless, useless, but you reached up to gently grasp her wrists. As much as it pained you, you nodded in understanding. She sighed, eased, and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, promising to return as quickly as possible.

Now, a sense of foreboding has been steadily rising within you. It's never taken this long for a raid. You wring your hands anxiously, contemplating if Wanda would be angry with you if you left the ship with your sword in hand.

However, you don't get the chance to decide. You hear voices approach, and soon after, the crew bustles out of the tree line. Your relief is palpable as you press your hand to your chest, muttering a quick thank god under your breath as they grow nearer.

It takes a moment for you to notice, so washed in comfort by everyone’s return, that a few people are carefully carrying someone back to the ship. Just as quickly as the relief appeared, it leaves you entirely. Your skin goes hot then cold, so fast that it leaves your head spinning, dread settling heavily in your stomach.

As the crew begin boarding the ship, none of them meet your eyes. Panic wells, and you find yourself stumbling across the deck, shouldering past several people. Natasha stops you before you can go around her.

“She's fine,” she murmurs.

“She–She's being carried onto the ship,” you point out dumbly.

Natasha grips your shoulders. “Her wound is not serious. We had to clean it and stitch it to stop the bleeding before we could return.”

You whimper, covering your mouth as fresh tears fall. “She was bleeding?”

Natasha sighs heavily. “Before we could announce ourselves, some skinny, little idiot and his friend thought themselves to be heroes and charged us.” She rolls her eyes, agitated all over again by this person. “The Captain stepped in and was grazed by his dagger while she was trying to subdue him. Once he found out who we were it was easy to get them to back down.”

She pauses, huffing. “For whatever reason, the Captain invited them to join the crew after they'd apologized a million times and begged her pardon.”

You blink a few times, mind whirling. “But she's okay?” you clarify, your only worry.

Natasha’s face softens as she nods. “Aye. I made them carry her back so she wouldn't put a strain on her stitches. It's just a superficial wound.”

Just then, Wanda is carried on board, and you rush to her.

“This is ridiculous. I am perfectly capable of walking,” you hear her grumble and it makes a choked sob slip past your lips. Her eyes meet yours and she orders the men to stop. “Put me down,” she tells them, and when they try to argue, “Now!”

Not wanting to receive some form of punishment, they listen, gingerly helping her rise and stand. She winces, her hand clutching her side, just below her ribs. You take cautious steps toward her, but you stop a couple feet away.

“Come here, my love,” she says, holding out her free arm.

You close the space between you, tears spilling down your cheeks as you check her over for more injuries, hands hovering unsurely around her. She grabs one of your hands and pulls you into her, hugging you tightly. You bury your face in her neck as you cry, relieved all over again, feeling her warm and solid beneath your hands. She shushes you softly, kissing you wherever she can reach.

“I'm alright, my angel, I'm fine,” she reassures.

“You were hurt,” you correct thickly. “I wasn't there and you got hurt.”

“It's nothing I can't handle,” she replies. She brushes your hair off your shoulder so she can kiss along the expanse of your collarbone. “Why don't we go to my quarters, hm?”

You swallow past the lump in your throat and nod, letting her lead you in the direction of her cabin. Along the way, you spy two new faces; a skinny, blond man whose eyes are wide as he takes in the massive ship, and a dark haired man that follows close behind, looking resigned to his fate. You make a mental note to give them a stern talking to later.

Wanda closes and locks the door to her cabin once the two of you are inside. She turns to you and meets you halfway for a bruising kiss.

The only thought playing on a loop in your mind is that you could have lost her. It's silly, especially knowing her injury is not that serious, but also knowing that she'd gotten hurt and you weren't there to help makes your chest seize uncomfortably. You just need to assure yourself that she really is okay.

Your hands grab fistfuls of her hair as you deepen the kiss into something sharper, messier. Wanda grunts, her own hands sliding down your back until they can squeeze your ass. You moan brokenly into her mouth.

She breaks the kiss to mutter, “Feel me? I'm here, safe, with you.”

“If you think I'm staying behind next time, you're mad,” you respond, licking a hot line up the side of her neck.

Her head tips back as she laughs, the sound teetering off into a gasp when you bite down and begin sucking a mark into her skin.

“I figured you would say so,” she says.

Without a word, you make quick work of undoing the laces of her trousers. She helps you undress her, slipping off her coat and unbuttoning her waistcoat before she reaches for you. Her deft fingers work on removing your corset and dress until you're completely bare. She steps out of her trousers that have pooled at her ankles, kicking her boots off in the process.

The stark contrast of the stitches against her skin is like a punch to the gut. You softly trail your fingers just below them.

“Lie down,” you tell her.

She opens her mouth to protest, but you send her a look that begs her to simply do as she's told, and for once, she listens. She walks over to her bed with you in tow and eases her way onto it. You crawl on after her, sitting between her thighs.

“No teasing,” she intones, tacking on a quiet, “please.”

You hadn't planned on such a thing anyway. Instead of verbally replying, you lift one of her legs and straddle the other, shuffling forward until you can align your pussy with hers. You place a kiss on her calf and then grind forward.

Twin gasps echo in the room, pleasure setting your bodies ablaze. Wanda’s eyes close as she pants at the feel of your wet cores sliding together. It sends a shudder down your spine, mouth falling open as your clit is stimulated perfectly.

“Doing such a good job, my angel,” Wanda praises, making you whine and grind harder. “You feel exquisite. Love feeling your cunt, dripping and desperate against mine.”

“My King, please,” you whimper.

She moans and yanks you down for a kiss, sucking on your tongue, biting your lip. You cry out when her fingers pinch and tug your nipples, hips twitching out of rhythm for a moment before you regain it. Both of your thighs are messy with slick, the sound of it sending heat up to your face, makes your clit throb.

“Come on, then. Let me hear you,” she orders. “Want to see you come apart on top of me.”

You feel a sudden smack to your ass and you're keening, grinding faster as sweat forms across your hairline, on the small of your back. Wanda isn't faring any better, her cheeks flushed a stunning shade of pink. She keeps spanking you, urging you on. Your ass stings, but it's a welcome feeling, a reminder that she's here, below you.

“Come for me, pretty girl,” she requests.

You can only listen, your clit beating in time with your heart as you grind it on hers, moaning loudly when your orgasm consumes you. Wanda pulls you down entirely, shifting you to lay on your side and lift your leg. With pleasure still clouding your mind, you blindly follow her silent instruction. The high of your climax hasn't even receded when she slides two fingers inside you. A surprised whine falls past your slackened lips.

“I've got to get one more out of you, my love,” she informs you, immediately thrusting her fingers at a brutal pace. “I know you can do that for me. Can't you?”

You nod, letting out noises that you're sure the crew can hear. Wanda doesn't seem to care, though, so you can't find it in you to care either. She licks into your mouth, her tongue tangling with yours, making you shiver and clench around her fingers.

“That's it, there you go,” she coos.

Her thumb joins in, swiping over your sensitive clit. You nearly scream her name. She grins proudly, curling her fingers and rubbing over the spot inside you that is sure to have you wailing. It takes only a minute longer and then your second orgasm rushes through you.

“Beautiful, so beautiful, my sweet angel,” Wanda is saying in your ear, kissing along your jaw as spots dance in your vision.

You weakly push at her hand when you become overly tender. She removes her fingers and gathers your wetness, bringing her hand down to her clit and using it to quickly get herself off. She holds your heavy lidded stare until her orgasm takes over. She tosses her head back with a cut off shout, her hips bucking into her hand.

“My handsome captain,” you say, kissing her shoulder. “Took such good care of me. Thank you, my darling.”

Wanda sighs as relaxes. “Always for you.”

You trade sweet nothings and even sweeter kisses for a few, long moments until you remember her injury. The skin around it looks more irritated than before, but she promises that she's fine, kissing away your worries.

You stay wrapped up in each other, running soothing hands over each other’s bodies for a while. When you yawn and blink drowsily, Wanda covers you with the blanket, letting you cuddle up even closer.

You're asleep between one blink and the next.

#avengers fic #marvel fic #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #pirate king wanda x reader

[licorice-tea]

I’m A Ghost Of You, You’re A Ghost Of Me Pt. 3

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x reader

Content: slow burn relationship, fluff, some platonic Usopp and reader, mentions of weapons, strawhat!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: sigh i kind of struggled with this part, idk why but i just didn’t feel super proud of the writing? butttt i really enjoyed the ending bit, so hopefully you do too! there might be some edits made later, and i think there will be around 2 more parts after this? anyway, lmk what you think! <3

Part 2 • Part 4

Nami proposes a plan to split up in pairs and look for the swordsman, so as to cover more ground faster without the risk of running into trouble alone. You admire her ability to think ahead and prepare for any possibility- it’s something you, as a child of nobility with a more comfortable upbringing, never really developed.

Everyone sort of pairs off, and you decide to follow Usopp. You enjoy his humor and get to know him as the two of you search for Zoro. This leases you to learn that he’s an inventor, something of a demolitions expert, and he left his home to become a brave warrior of the sea, all of which you find admirable.

After a while of wandering around the island, you and Usopp come to a steep incline. It’s a natural hill, but you notice that if you were to walk around the base to the other side, you’d find a set of stairs. He wants to go around and use said stairs, but you’re sure you’d be able to make it to the top faster by simply hiking up. So with the promise of meeting at the top, you get to hiking the steep hill, and he runs off to climb the stairs instead. As someone who has gotten used to scaling walls as a method of escaping in order to run off in the past… this is an easy feat to you.

And sure enough, you reach the top of the hill in less than 3 minutes or so. It’s a lovely sight to take in; covered in grass and a few patches of flowers and other flora, as well as-

“It’s you!” You’re so excited to see the man before you that you call out to him before you’ve even crossed the expanse of the hill to meet him.

He turns to look at you, “It’s… Damn, you look different.”

“Do I?” You look down at the clothes you’re wearing, not quite so “let me try to blend in with the civilians of this island in hopes I’m not caught by marines and brought back home” anymore. Instead, your outfit fits your personality and taste- it’s much less dull, so you can see what he means. Also, you’ve changed your hairstyle a little. In short, everything about you just seems more fitting, rather than having the feel of someone who isn’t yet sure of themselves like you had a year ago. You spin as if to further show off these changes and agree with a smile, “Hm, I guess so.”

There it is again- your smile. Zoro has held on to the memory of you as best as he could, not that you were ever easy to forget, but images in his mind are nothing compared to the real thing.

When he doesn’t respond, seemingly lost in thought, you go on; “I’m happy to see you again-“

“You are?” Then he coughs awkwardly, realizing he sounds all too eager for his disciplined and focused persona.

You laugh- “Yeah, I never got the chance to repay you.”

“Repay me?” Zoro scoffs, “For what?”

A soft smile graces your features; “For letting me go.”

He shakes his head and looks down for a moment, as if thinking. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“Hah!” As if you’d let such a life changing action go. No; you had good enough manners to know favors should be returned. “Well, at least let me introduce myself properly this time,” you extend a hand to shake his, “I’m y/n.”

Zoro smirks and shakes your hand- his grip is tight, but not uncomfortable. “Roronoa Zoro.”

Usopp finally catches up with the two of you, and all three of you begin heading back toward the docks to meet the others. After a while, the swordsman speaks up.

“So, how much convincing did it take for Luffy to get you to join?”

“Not much. I’ve kind of just been doing my own thing for a year now so… I’m excited to be a part of something.”

“You should’ve seen them Zoro!” Usopp move in between you two and slings an arm around both of your shoulders. “We found them in a bar, and then a marine challenged them to a duel and we were all like GASP!” You giggle at his exaggerated storytelling, and he continues; “Then Luffy was like ‘I bet you could beat him!’ so they were just like ‘sure, why not!’ And we all went outside and it was like a Western showdown- The marine drew his gun and the mighty archer, y/n, drew their bow…”

By the time Usopp is finished explaining how you came to be a part of the crew, the dock is in sight along with the rest of the Straw Hats. “And at last, they knocked back their arrow and- BAM! The arrow bent his gun out of shape! Can you believe it Zoro?”

He shrugs, “Well is that what happened?”

When you realize the question is directed at you, you smile sheepishly. “Uh… Sure! pretty much, at least.”

Once the three of you reach the dock, all seven board the ship. Luffy is overjoyed to have his crew assembled to take on the Grand Line, so Sanji cooks a huge meal for all of you to enjoy. Eventually all the plates are cleaned and cleared, and the clouds in the sky are overtaken by night stars.

“I can take watch for the night.” You offer to your new crewmates, but Nami says that Zoro probably is already. So, you decide to join him when she shows you to the crow’s nest. Before entering, you knock on the wooden trapdoor, then open it up.

Zoro sees the top of your head and offers a hand to help pull you up into the crow’s nest, which you thank him for.

“No problem.”

For a while you simply watch the sea, which is very calm tonight. It leads you to thinking of another night where the sea was calm and the stars bright. The same night you met Zoro when he came to deliver you back to your parents- but even then you’d been too confident (in both his kindness and your own skills) to feel scared. You just get good vibes from him- like he makes you feel safe. So you look over at him, but find that he’s already looking at you. He smiles and you return the smile, albeit a little softer and overwhelmingly endeared-looking. Finally, you break the silence

“So… from a pirate hunter to a pirate- how did that happen?”

Zoro shrugs, “Luffy’s a good captain. I wouldn’t just join any crew, ya know.”

“Hm, same here.”

“Now, nobility to a pirate is a much bigger change, if you ask me.”

“Ah,” you give him a sarcastically sweet smile, “I didn’t.”

This causes Zoro to bark out a laugh. It’s the first time you’ve seen him laugh, you realize, and you’re hooked. He looks so much less imposing like this; full of joy instead of his usual, very focused demeanor. You find yourself giggling as well.

“Tell me, y/n, did you really put a dent in a gun with some flimsy arrow?”

“Like I said, I’m pretty good.”

“I’d like to see for myself.”

“I’m sure you will, eventually.” He huffs through his nose, and you continue, “I haven’t seen you using any of your three swords, either.”

“You will. Eventually.”

You accept Zoro’s statement with a nod. “I don’t think I ever thanked you, properly-“

“You don’t owe me, y/n.”

“I know, you keep saying that, but- you changed my life!” He whips his head around to look at you again, and you continue, “I mean it; I wouldn’t be a part of this crew… hell, I wouldn’t be anywhere but back in my room if it weren’t for you.”

Zoro maintains eye contact for a moment, then gives you an offer you can’t refuse. “Alright, you can buy me a drink at the next island we stop on.”

This makes your cheeks feel warm, though you try not to let the shock be too evident in your features. He must pick up on it through your silence anyway. “What? You wanna repay me, right?”

You nod, “Mhm.”

“So, it’s a date. Go get some rest, I’ve got this covered.”

That night, you try not to giggle and kick your feet too loudly for the sake of your crewmates who are fast asleep. It’s hard though, when your already massive crush is being egged on- and by the crush in question!

Now you just have to make it into the Grand Line and stay alive long enough to go on that date.

#one piece x reader #one piece x you #fanfic #one piece #x reader #zoro x reader #zoro x you #roronoa zoro #zoro #zoro x y/n #slow burn #fluff #zoro fluff