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#this is a queue post for my darlings
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xxkylarthelonerxx · 4 months
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Are you particularly fond of any animals, may I ask? Do you have any, or do you see you and your love perhaps getting any someday?
i have rats at my house and we get along well! maybe i'll post pics of them later... but my room is kind of messy so maybe not. but they're cute, and i like how smart they are. sometimes i bring them to school.
i like birds too. birdwatching is nice to do when stalking isn't an option for one reason or another. i wouldn't want to own a bird though, i like seeing them interact naturally with everything.
as for the second part of the ask, i think we will get animals! ...as long as my love wants to. i just think that taking care of a pet together will be good practice for taking care of our kids in the future.
i prefer owning smaller animals since they're a little easier to manage... not that i'm weak or anything! I just don't want my darling getting overwhelmed with having a big dog that's super high-maintenance or anything. ...and i need to be the one to protect my love! i can't have some guard dog taking my place.
i also like animals that can cuddle or can be pet. cats are nice for that, i think. it would just be so cute to see my darling cuddling with our pet after a long day... i think i would just melt at the sight.
but of course, if my love insisted, i would be okay with any pets. i could learn to tolerate them for my beloved, if they really wanted them.
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haledamage · 11 months
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Dancing Lights
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAIT @queen-scribbles 💖💖💖💖💖!!!! Hope you're having a great day!
I bring you a gift of Etain/Vikkari, with him as Commander and her as the companion for a change 😉 she wanted to help him with what must be Azata path's biggest issue in the early days. fairly early in the game, I think, and definitely pre-relationship, but Etain definitely has a crush :3
---
Etain was staring.
She knew she was, and that she shouldn’t be, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop.
She just hadn’t expected the Commander to be so… adorable. Not that he wasn’t also powerful, and strong, and courageous, and charismatic, and all the things the leader of a crusade should be, but… Well, she’d assumed that the mysterious power that inspired the Fifth Crusade would have less… butterflies.
There were just so many of them. They’re like little dancing lights of blue and green and pink, catching Etain’s attention anytime she lowered her guard--which was more often than it should be, lately, but something about Vikkari put her at ease.
Like now. They’d set up camp on the edge of a thick copse of trees that seemed as safe as anywhere could be in the Wounded Lands. Dinner had already been eaten, and their group had split off to take care of their own business before sleep and watch rotations started.
Etain was supposed to be cleaning and restringing her bow, but got distracted halfway through the task, and now she was staring. At Vikkari. 
Again.
If he noticed, he didn’t seem bothered by it. His focus was on the small block of wood that he was carefully carving into, strong hands gently and meticulously coaxing it into shape. Butterflies flitted around his head, glowing softly in the falling daylight.
One of them landed on his nose, flexing its tiny teal wings. Vikkari shook his head to shoo it away, but it held fast. He lowered his whittling with a dramatic sigh, which fluttered the butterfly but didn’t dislodge it.
Etain couldn’t help it. She giggled.
She covered her mouth almost immediately after the sound escaped, but it was too late. Color bloomed over her cheeks all the way to the tips of her ears, but she managed--barely--not to pull up her mask to hide her face when Vikkari’s attention fell on her. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to--I, um--” she took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and tried again. “I think you’ve got somethin’ on your face.”
His laugh finally dislodged his butterfly mustache, which flew away in a decidedly irritated way.
The laughter faded, but lingered in his eyes and the warmth of his smile. “Did you need something?”
“Oh!” She shook her head a little too quickly, dropping her gaze to her hands for a second before it was pulled back to the commander. “No. I was just curious about your… your butterflies.”
Vikkari finally (reluctantly? Or was that just wishful thinking on her part?) looked away from her to the jovial swarm fluttering around him. “There do seem to be an awful lot of them.” He sounded more amused than bothered by them.
Etain hummed in agreement, watching the glowing insects in consideration. She could feel the moment Vikkari’s attention returned to her, but she resolutely didn’t look back, in case doing so would make her forget what they were talking about. “Are they illusions? A manifestation of the magic of Elysium?”
He nodded slowly, getting lost in thought for a moment, before he finally said, “Maybe they’re like Aivu. Real butterflies, drawn here by…” he paused, smile faltering, “whatever this power comes from.”
The urge to comfort him was almost overwhelming; Etain would say almost anything to bring that smile back. “Or they could be local. Maybe they just think you’re a very interesting flower.”
Half of his smile came back, a crooked smirk that would look cocky on someone less charming. “Because I’m so pretty?”
“Because you’re sweet.”
A dazzling smile lit Vikkari’s face as an equally radiant blush spread across his cheeks. Her own cheeks flushed in response, and she ducked her head to hide it behind her half-unraveled braid.
Her eyes fell on her knapsack, and a sudden thought struck her. “Sweet,” she murmured to herself, an idea forming.
“What was that?” Despite his obvious curiosity, Etain knew he wouldn’t push if she didn’t want to share.
“May I try something?” She waited for him to nod before reaching for her bag, and dug around until she found a small bottle of amber liquid. The gentle pop of the stopper drew Pippin’s attention from dozing by the fire, but she ignored him and let a couple of drops from the bottle fall onto the back of her hand.
As soon as she held it out toward Vikkari, two butterflies changed trajectory to inspect, landing on her knuckles and flexing their wings with what could only be excitement.
Vikkari leaned closer, golden eyes glowing brighter in echo of the insects’ reaction. “What is that?”
Etain shrugged one shoulder, careful to keep her hand still. “It’s just honey.”
Eventually, the butterflies ate their fill and flew off to join the rest again--though they gave a little more respectful distance this time, she noticed.
Vikkari watched them in something like awe. Etain watched him in much the same way.
“So they are real.”
“I guess so.” She held her hand out to her side where Pippin waited patiently to clean the rest of the honey off of her hand.
The conversation ended there, meandering to other subjects--the Crusade, Vikkari’s whittling--before Seelah, Lann, and Aivu came over to join them. But Etain thought about it the next day while they traveled, and the one after.
Inspiration finally struck two days later, while the group traveled a road that cut through the middle of heavy forest. Etain walked parallel to the group, mask up and bow drawn, scouting the woods for ambushes; Lann took the other side, doing the same, with the rest of their collection of melee fighters and magic users on the road.
She didn’t find any ambushes (it had been waiting a mile up, in the middle of the road in plain sight), but she did find something else.
She brought it to Vikkari after dinner that night, relishing his surprised look when she held out the bundle of flowers in her hands. “May I?”
It took him a few seconds to reply, which made something warm settle in her chest. She didn’t know the Commander could be lost for words.
Eventually, he nodded. “Of course.”
Etain carefully unfolded the flower crown and placed it on his head, arranging it carefully against his (soft, how is his hair so soft this far from civilization?) hair.
As she’d hoped, the butterflies immediately took interest, coming in to land on the flowers instead of swarming around his head. Within moments, he had a halo of glowing wings, green and blue lights among the orange, pink, and purple flowers.
“Aster, phlox, lavender, and butterfly weed,” she said in answer to the question he didn’t ask. “Hopefully that will keep them out of your eyes, at least.”
He grinned at her, brighter than the fluttering crown he wore. “How do I look?”
“You look…” she blushed and looked away, unable to answer honestly and unwilling to lie. “I’d offer to show you, but I don’t own a mirror.”
“Thank you.” His voice was too soft, too warm, and it just made her blush darker. As always, he was kind enough to give her an escape route from her own embarrassment, and changed the subject. “What are the rest of them for?”
“Oh.” Etain had almost forgotten that she still held an armful of flowers. “They’re for Aivu. May I?”
The question was directed at the havoc dragon, who lounged nearby. Aivu nodded eagerly before the question was even finished, and Etain smiled as she settled the larger flower crown on her head. “There. I thought you might like one too. So you can match.”
“Where’s yours?” Both the dragon and the cleric asked at the same time before exchanging a grin, a silent conversation flowing between them that she couldn’t even begin to understand.
“I don’t need one,” she said quickly. It’s not like she had a swarm of fae butterflies to deal with, and even so she wasn’t one to indulge in pretty things. (Except the Commander, a knowing voice whispered in the back of her head.) “And I didn’t want to pick too many anyway.”
Vikkari nodded, seemingly in agreement, but she could see the gears whirring behind his eyes. Etain knew she hadn’t heard the last of this.
Strangely, she found herself looking forward to finding out what happened next.
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qinghe-s · 1 year
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i’m a little over halfway through misvil and they’ve already banged and the mc is full on “we’re lovers now, so let’s get married!”... you can just tell something’s going to go really, really wrong ♥
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kellystar321 · 1 year
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#periodical life updates#HUH. OKAY. MANY THINGS OF NOTE. things im not excited for first!!#im going to go into coding now because my parents want me to so whatever i guess!! i think coding is cool anyway and im willing to learn#its such a vague job. my sister recommends front end web development. i still dont know. i guess i'll look into it. gwuah.#registered for classes and now im just waiting for them to start. i dont know if i can do four classes. ive tried and failed before.#but im grown now. classes should be simple. i should be fine. i have to finish this soon.#im going to the dentists soon and as much as i hate toothaches i HATE THE DENTISTS i hate them im so scared of them u-u <33#i probably need a lot of fillings and sht and im not hype about it. i hate the dentists but i know my teeth will hurt bad so i will go ughh#im tired and i need to cook spaghetti soon and life is currently so up in the air right now. i have things i want to queue but everytime i#go look at my drafts i just close the tab again guhhh. okay lets talk about other things now.#changed my profile pic!! its so cute i love my orange pattern shirt <3 daily eca is posted and that ones cute too <3#im excited for the pjsk pop in my heart event; ive been waiting for a four star emu for so long and nicori smile survey is a fun song <3#the valentines day one has such a cute emu too and the white day event has a knight tsukasa which i ADORE <3 knights are so my aesthetic#got to say good morning to darling and eros today <33 might make an oc for a friend on twitter's oc storyline which is fun <3#finished some things up yesterday that i dont have to deal with anymore.#im trying. im trying really hard. we'll get there eventually. *sighs*#napping now maybe. i love you <3
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theminecraftgay · 2 years
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Super AU Pip has my heart and soul, he’s perfect actually. Alias is Starfall, he’s in high school so that villain shows up more when school is out!
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ficsforeren · 1 year
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LOVE OF MY LIFE !!!! I WAS HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING A FIC AND THEN BOOM THE LAST CHAPTER OF ONE OF MY FAVE FICSSSSSSSS ??????????????
LOVE YOU SO MUCH
i hope you and your family are doing amazingskjhdksd
CAMIIIII AAAAAA HOW ARE YOU BESTIEEEEEEE???? It's always nice to see you in my inbox ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so nervous about that last chapter 😭 I don't think it's good enough to be posted but I don't know what else to do with it so I apologize in advance if it's terrible but I really do hope that you'll still enjoy it somehow 😭😭😭
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findusinaweek · 1 year
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Sometimes my manager just wears a shirt that says Pericles and I don't know what the context is and I WANT TO KNOW but I don't want to ask because
1) I am scared he will ask me why I want to know and I don't want to explain my love of AC Odyssey.
2) I don't know anything about Athenian politics.
3) The only Athenian I like is Demosthenes (he reminds me of someone, ok?).
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sunnymimis · 2 years
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My (belated posting of my) birthday gift for @miru-p! 💖🧡 Our girlies being girlbosses together!
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Ok, I don't know how accurate this would be cause I don't know Fate Grand Order as well as I would like
But what if Marin asked Gonta to do a group cosplay with her? With Marin as Euryale and Gonta as Asterios?
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write-it-motherfuckers · 10 months
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🖤~Song Of The Day~🖤
The song of the day is:     How Fare the Gods? -by- Syven
The challenge is to write something based off of this song, be it the name, the cover, the lyrics, or the tune itself. Let your imagination go wild and see where the music takes you.
Have at it Darlings!
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Day 314, and not a whole lot done, just finished up Incredulous, but that's okay since I'm feeling bleh anyway. Any progress is good progress when bleh :)
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shunsuiken · 2 months
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DON’T FORGET WHO’S TAKING YOU HOME (and in whose arms you’re gonna be).
pairing(s). kaeya, childe, ayato, kaveh, neuvillette x fem!reader
genre. fluff
wc. 200-400 for each character
an. AND SING WITH ME 🎤🎤 SO DARLING SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR MEEE michael buble literally left no crumbs with this song i had to write about it omg + ALSO happy valentines day everyone !!! i may not have a valentine this year but im happy to post this for anybody feeling a little lonely today !! you are so so loved okay ?!!! come and collect a kiss from me before reading on 💋 MUAH have a lovely valentines day !!! <33
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kaeya alberich
you’re really good at hiding, kaeya thinks to himself with a huff and a smile on his lips. searching all over the plaza for you was making him break a sweat in his navy blue tuxedo. with another turn around the corner he decides to remove his tuxedo jacket for the time being, folding it over his arm to carry instead.
“no, no, no klee! stop it! you can’t play with your things here, if you blow things up-”
“-master jean will put me in solitary confinement…”
oho, kaeya recognises these two voices very well. he finds it so hilarious that at the end, his feet lead him right to you! not even a single thought was processed as he turned the corner two seconds ago but here you are.
he hides behind the large potted plant, listening to the conversation you and the beloved spark knight share. he stays there until it becomes quiet between you two.
“kaeya, you peacock, i know it’s you.”
kaeya lets out a baffled noise, finally showing himself from behind the plant, offended by the ridiculous nickname you gave him. “snowflake, how dare you?”
“klee, don’t eavesdrop on people like this man when you grow older, yeah?” you point animatedly at your lover, who’s folding his arms and scoffing at you.
klee only giggles, nodding her head. “i gotta go find albedo now!” you watch as she skips off towards the plaza, waving goodbye.
you then turn towards your next problem that stands behind you. “i thought you were out dancing?”
“i was, but they’ll start playing the last dance soon and how can my last dance not be with you?” your lover walks towards you, pulling you closer by your waist with his free arm. you immediately wrap your arms around his neck, smiling softly at his intentions.
you hear an announcement echoing from the plaza before you can reply, and you figure it might have been mika because of how timid the voice sounded.
“good evening everyone, please bring all your friends and company over for the last dance of the night!”
“sounds like our queue.” you slide your arms off his shoulder to grab his hand, pulling him with you without warning.
“oh snowflake, hold on-” kaeya almost trips on air and the sounds of your laughter bounce off the concrete floor and walls as you drag him down the staircase leading to the plaza.
childe
you can never refuse ajax’s request for a dance, because he won’t take no for an answer. especially when it comes to dancing. your feet hurt so much. you’re so ready to just fall on top of your bed and go to sleep. but the only thing that keeps you wide awake, heart pumping and everything is the look on your lover's face.
his gaze usually has this inhumane and dull look to them, but you find that whenever he looks at you or when he participates in something he loves, his gaze finally twinkles. it works so miraculously too. like all of a sudden life was returned to him and he could see.
the smile on your lips grows when you think about this. you think it’s sweet how you’re one of the reasons that the life in his eyes returns.
ajax notices the tighter grip you hold on his forearm, making his lips curl in curiosity. “what’s going on in your head, baby?”
you zone in on the situation, you’re still dancing, and you shake your head in response. “nothing, ajax.” you want to keep your thoughts to yourself but when ajax smiles at you like that, with the most expectant look on his face, you can’t help yourself. “actually, i just thought about the dance.”
he twirls you around to the music before connecting arms with you again. “you just thought about the dance?” his brow quirks in amusement.
“no, no not like that,” you say with a sheepish chuckle before continuing, “i just thought that this number is the longest one so far.”
“well of course,” ajax responds with an eye smile. “it’s the last song.”
“it… is?” you look up at ajax while trying to fight the urge to look anywhere else.
if this is the last song… and you’re dancing with him… then that can only mean-
when the choreography allows ajax to pull you against his chest, he leans down so he can whisper in your ear, “you will be my final dance partner tonight.”
kamisato ayato
these few days at fontaine have been strumming the strings of your heart like a guitar—ayato has been spending so much time with you that you’re beginning to think of such ridiculous conclusions. his eyes that linger on your face, his hand that hovers on the small of your back when leading you out of a hall and it’s just these little things that he does with you that makes you want to claw an entire curtain off its rod. one time he even poured you a glass of wine before taking a sip with the same glass—it’s like he’s forgotten he’s the yashiro commissioner!
thoma and ayaka barely bat an eye. but also, they’ve known ayato for much longer than you have since you were a recent (and lovely) addition to the little family. so… perhaps this is just how he acts?
“uh-huh, when he’s courting someone that is.”
the sentence that thoma said offhandedly is the only thing that rings through your mind. but your thoughts must’ve shone through your expression because ayato is quick on his feet to smoothly guide you off the dance floor, gloved hand still holding yours as he brings you to a less crowded area—the balcony.
“you appeared to be distracted, that’s why i pulled us away,” ayato breaks the silence and your train of thoughts.
he’s still holding my hand—is what you’re repeating in your head. your eyes can barely focus on a single object within your field of vision. your bottom lip quivers at the revelation you’re carefully starting to uncover.
“i am not distracted,” you inhale sharply when you accidentally meet ayato’s gaze. “i…” your brows crease as you try to get words out of your mouth.
ayato brings your hand up to his lips, placing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand and you can physically feel the blood rush up to your fingertips. “would my lady like to return to the hotel?”
your voice leaves your throat in but a hoarse whisper, “what did you just call me?”
you hear a chuckle from ayato and it makes you snap your head around in embarrassment. this new term of endearment rolls off his tongue way too easily, the rascal must have been practicing!
“oh no, no, no, my lady, you must look at me,” a grin appears on ayato’s face at your attempts to hide your expression and when he finally gets you to look at him, you’re caged between his arms.
“why would you call me that?” you whine at his teasing.
“well i just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore,” ayato murmurs, a dust of pink decorating his cheeks. “will you allow me to call you that?”
kaveh
three hours. it’s been three hours since you and kaveh decided to learn a cute couples dance routine ‘for funsies’. whose idea was this again? weren’t you two supposed to be just friends? doesn’t kaveh have a client meeting tomorrow that he should be preparing for?
“so we do this—then this and then we’re supposed to oh—!”
the silence is deafening. the song playing in the background fades as you both stare at each other, even mirroring the same expression. eyes as wide as saucers. lips just inches from connection.
kaveh’s breath fans over your lips and you can hear the audible gulp he makes at the closeness. he’s also entirely aware that the red in his cheeks has reached his ears by now. while you, on the other hand, have started hearing the percussion of your heart in your own eardrums.
“o-oh…” your legs are frozen in place and hang on a second, why haven’t either of you let go?
his hand is respectfully sat on your waist, while the other is occupied holding your hand. you hear him inhale and it grabs your attention before you can get anymore lost in his gaze. his gaze observes your lovely face, eyes flickering from one feature to another as he whispers, “has anybody ever told you you’re pretty up close?”
you shake your head ever so slightly. “no.”
kaveh likes this answer, humming as he ponders for a moment.
your eyes sparkle when that handsome smile of his appears on his lips. he chuckles shortly at your expression, your palm feels so warm when connected with his.
“i’m glad i’m the first to tell you.”
neuvillette
“oh dear, neuvillette,” you chuckle softly, walking towards him as he takes another sip of his water. he stands in a more secluded corner of the hall, briefly greeting guests with a nod of the head. which is why he stands out like a sore thumb—arctic white hair, designer blue suit and a piercing gaze.
but that gaze doesn’t fool you. the dragon sovereign is probably pondering on retiring for the night and is only still present to keep up with appearances.
“yes, lady y/n?” it’s to nobody’s surprise that he heard you from metres away.
when he turns around, your eyes immediately land on the problem you’ve sensed since you returned from the dancefloor.
“your tie,” you reply, standing in front of his figure, nonchalantly raising your hands in preparation to adjust the garment. “will you allow me to fix it?”
the gears in neuvillette’s mind pause abruptly at your question. he certainly has no problem readjusting his own tie. his hands aren’t holding anything else other than his cup of water—which he can definitely put down on a nearby table!
but why can’t he bring himself to say no?
the ‘of course’ leaves his lips faster than he would have liked, but that’s no matter, your expression shows no sign of displeasure. instead, he watches your sweet smile brighten.
when your fingers reach the tie, neuvillette notices how you tiptoe to reach him. so he does what any normal person would do—he leans down.
it catches you off guard, the tips of your fingers just slightly grazing against his neck in the process. you profusely apologise in whispers to which neuvillette can only chuckle at.
“it is no trouble lady y/n, i appreciate the kind gesture.” the corner of neuvillette’s lips curve, his hands neatly tucked behind him as he allows you to redo his tie.
neuvillette’s lips only seem to further break into a smile as he watches you pat on the tie in completion.
“there, all finished.” you look up at the iudex, chuckling, “you ought to learn how to do this yourself.”
neuvillette hums, “perhaps you could teach me.” he takes your hand, gently brushing his lips against your knuckles before kissing it. “but for now a dance shall suffice, would you care to join me?”
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beansprean · 2 years
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@blakbonnet @saltpepperbeard Your post has come to fruition…this comic hurt my teeth with its sweetness!! I should apologize for how long it is but...I won't.
(ID in alt and under cut)
ID: 1. Full body of Stede and Ed standing in an 80s grocery store. Ed, wearing a black tee shirt tucked into lightwash jeans, black boots, a light blue handkerchief in his back left pocket, and his hair in a high ponytail, is standing with an empty grocery cart with both hands on the handle and one foot up on the bottom basket. He glances from the empty cart and then to Stede, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Stede, wearing a retro-patterned teal and purple short sleeved button up tucked into pleated khaki slacks, brown leather loafers, and a gold watch, his hair swept back in a big feathered quiff, holds his hands up defensively with a nervous smile. He says, “Oh- Darling, no. No, no, I’m too big!”
2a. Ed begins to stalk towards Stede with a mischievous grin, arms out in a grabbing motion. Stede backs up, smile growing even as his eyes narrow in warning and his hands try to bat him away. “Ed.” he says shortly. 2b. Ed darts forward and grabs Stede around the waist, scooping him up over his shoulder. Stede bursts into laughter, face going red, and yells “Ed! Put me down, you’ll hurt yourself!” 2c. Ed walks back toward their cart with Stede flopped over his shoulder and sings, “Nonsense, love!” In the background, there is a young brown woman wearing a patterned jumpsuit with long dark feathered hair facing the shelves as she browses cereal. There is a baby over her shoulder wearing teal overalls who catches Stede’s eye as they pass and reaches out a chubby little hand to wave at him in solidarity. Stede waves back automatically, clearly embarrassed but unable to stop smiling.
3a. Ed half-falls into the cart with a punched-out “Oof!” as he flops Stede down into it butt-first, his face buried in Stede’s chest and Stede’s legs flying up around him. 3b. Ed lifts himself up with his arms braced on either side of Stede, nose-to-nose with his husband who has sat up in the cart with a silly grin, one leg thrown over the side. Ed continues the previous conversation with a soft smile, “It’s like holding a couple of grapes.” 3c. Ed closes the last inch between them to smack a kiss on the tip of Stede’s nose. Stede reddens and snorts out a laugh.
4. Close up on the woman in their aisle as she chooses a cereal called “Matey Puffs” featuring a white cartoon Blackbeard with a hook hand. She glances over in confusion at Ed and Stede as they zoom away, Stede tucked in the cart and Ed driving, both giggling uncontrollably. The baby continues to wave after them.
5. Text reading “Later…”
6a. Stede and Ed waiting in line at the checkout. Stede is still in the cart, knees pulled to his chest, now surrounded by piles of groceries including a bottle of L&P soda, a bag of shredded cheese, a head of romaine lettuce, a bottle of wine, a few packs of meat, a bag of apples, a bag of Twisties, a loaf of bread, a bag of Roshuns, several packs of spaghetti, and a few miscellaneous cartons and jars. Ed, one hand on the cart handle, suddenly smacks the heel of his other hand against his forehead with a “duh!” expression. He exclaims, “Oh, shit! We forgot the oranges!” Stede turns his head around shoot him an annoyed look and replies, “What?? That’s the whole reason we came!” 6b. Ed runs off in a cloud of dust, shouting behind him, “BRB, Baby! Kiss kiss!” Stede cranes his neck after him in panic, unable to move from his grocery prison, calling, “Wai- Ed! Ed!!” 6c. Stede turns back around, red faced, sweating with nerves, and now a middle aged man alone in a full grocery cart. In front of him in queue is a bald man resembling Black Pete in a white suit with the sleeves rolled up, pushing his own cart. Behind him are an older dark-skinned woman with short gray hair wearing a puff sleeve shirt, long pink skirt, and pearls, holding a full basket with both hands and a large Māori man resembling Fang in a pink polo shirt and pleated khakis with a bag of dog food under one arm. They both step forward automatically to fill Ed’s vacated space.
7a. The older woman leans forward toward Stede with a small smile, saying, “You and your husband are very sweet.” Stede cranes his neck around to smile at her nervously, replying, “Oh! Thank you…” 7b. The woman loosens one hand from her basket to place it on Stede’s cart, continuing, “Let me push you forward, the queue is moving.” Stede drops his chin to his chest in relief, breathing out a much more genuine “Thank you.”
8a. Text at the top reads “9 minutes later”; Stede has reached the front of the line. The employee, who resembles Izzy, is wearing a blue striped button up and red bow tie under a yellow apron and stands, one hand hovering over the register as he stares down silently at Stede. Stede, looking small and scared, barely able to peek over the edge of the counter, stares back sweatily with wide eyes and says, “Ummm…” 8b. The employee startles as Stede cracks his head back and screams at the top of his lungs, “Ed!! Darling, where are you?? We have a problem!!”
9a. Ed suddenly zooms into view holding a bag of oranges, sliding smoothly between Stede and the register with a grin and a wink. He says, “Never fear, my love! I’m here!” Stede smiles hugely at him, full of relief and love. Behind them, the Izzy-like employee just glares at them, looking extremely tired, revealing he is wearing a large anachronistic button that says “service with a smile”. Stede cries, “You came back!” Ed replies, “Never left.” Both their speech bubbles are filled with pink hearts. 9b. Text in parentheses at the top says “he really didn’t.” We now see Ed from earlier, already holding the bag of oranges, peeking out from behind a shelf with a warm expression. He giggles, one hand to his cheek, as he observes Stede’s predicament from afar. Offscreen, Stede is saying, “Oh- Louise, we’re moving again.” Louise, presumably the older woman behind him in line, responds, “I’ve got you!” Stede continues, “Haha, getting awfully close to the front, aren’t we… I wonder what’s taking Ed so long…” /end ID
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imgoingtofreakoutnow · 7 months
Text
Sketch me down, see me through – pt. 2
Summary: A couple of days after the sketch, things got a bit more complicated than what you expected
Pairing: Astarion x Tav
Words: 4.4k
Warnings: mentions of blood/sex/abuse, bit of violence, Astarion is a bit of a bitch but what's new, physical touch as a love language, first kiss, fluff
A/N: Enjoy the second part of this Astarion fic, here you can find Part 1 <3 (i wanted to post this tomorrow but i don't know how to queue posts correctly so @tripleyeeet @yn-ymn-yln enjoy!)
\_/
The cold light of the moon woke you up. It had slithered into your tent, bathing your pillow —and thus your face— with its silvery shine. You turned around, trying to fall back into your warm slumber, but with no luck.
Your head started roaming, thinking too much about everything. About the last few days and the subtle changes in Astarion’s behavior, his lingering gazes and the tension that stiffened his body every time you happened to tug him playfully or accidentally bump into him.
It was confusing, to say the least; making you rethink everything and pondering twice on every word you said before even uttering it.
With an irritated sigh, you pulled yourself up, sitting on your blankets as you stretched your neck and sore muscles. With another groan, you put on your boots and then walked outside.
The fire had burnt out, leaving behind just a few glowing embers that were bound to soon become cold, lifeless ash. The air stung the bare skin of your arms, colder than what you expected. You soon got used to it, thankful to that chillness for waking you up. Apart from a couple of owls shrieking in the distance and the snoring coming from some of the tents surrounding you, the camp was calm, a small Eden…
A rustling of leaves broke the silence, followed by some muffled swearing. Before you could reach for the dagger in your boot, a figure stumbled out of the woods, barely keeping themselves up. After a couple of unbalanced steps, the silhouette managed to stop, taking a deep breath as he straightened up, passing his hands through his silver hair.
“Astarion?”
“Oh.”
The moment he noticed it was you in the shadows, Astarion quickly passed his hands on his shirt, brushing away the leaves and branches that had stuck on the fabric. Then his signature smile was back on his lips, his grin as smug as ever as he leaned against a nearby tree.
“Hello, darling.”
“What are you doing out here?”
“I was performing my duty and keeping watch.” He crossed his arms, tilting his head slightly as he scanned you, his eyes moving slowly up and down your body. “What about you, sweetheart?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” you shrugged, trying to ignore his piercing gaze. “Too many thoughts.”
“Ah, yes.” He nodded, his focus shifting to his fingers. “I am familiar with the notion.”
You watched closely as he picked his nails. What you first mistook for a nervous fidgeting revealed to be something different, a thorough cleaning that also had to do with the red streaks on his shirt —barely visible in the darkness— and those same scarlet hues that painted his fingers and the corners of his mouth.
You narrowed your eyes, putting both of your hands on your hips; in the same way your mother used to when she found out you had done something that was against her rules.
“Why were you lurking in the forest?”
He chuckled, showing the tip of his canines and his teeth, still blood stained. “Lurking… such an evil word. I’m almost flattered.”
Astarion looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to indulge him in his jokes the same way you often did since you had become… friends? Close acquaintances? Occasional lovers? The label on your relationship —if you could even call it that— seemed to change with every new dawn.
Whatever you two could be considered, you stared unimpressed at him with your hands glued to your hips.
“I was just having a midnight snack,” he explained with a shrug, his head tilting backwards against the tree but without ever leaving your eyes. “You can stop torturing that pretty brain of yours now.”
“I thought we had an agreement.” You took a step forward as you frowned in confusion. “I feed you so you can stay strong and defend us.”
Defend me.
“That was the deal,” you continued, ignoring those few words stuck in your throat.
“Indeed it was.”
Astarion was still looking at you, staring into your eyes as he always did —with a grin plastered to his face— but there was something different in them this time. A dark glimmer you had only seen when he was on the battlefield. The look he reserved only to his enemies.
Your entire body crumbled in confusion, your face losing its frown, your arms falling on your sides in defeat. “Then why didn’t you ask?”
You hated how your voice almost cracked at the end of that sentence. How small you felt, how desperate as you begged for an explanation, and all of this, because of that softness near the fire.
After that night and the sudden indifference that followed, you had wondered many times if you had misunderstood that look in his eyes. If that tenderness you felt in his touch had never been there in the first place but created by your delusional mind, always craving for something more. Something real.
Or worse, if he had faked it so well that you had fallen for it.
Astarion’s gaze softened ever so slightly as he moved from the tree and stepped in front of you. You cursed mentally when your breath caught in your throat.
“You were sleeping too peacefully for me to disturb you,” he murmured, taking your chin in his fingers. His nails grazed your skin but you bit down a yelp of discomfort.
“But I’m glad to see that you’re as eager to help as always.” With a flick of his wrist, Astarion hit the bottom of your chin. “That’s what I like about you.”
It didn’t hurt, you had endured much worse treatments in your lifetime, but you knew it was not meant to. Not physically at least. You felt the strike tear into your belittled pride, his condescending tone ripping through it like teeth in the flesh.
“You didn’t want to disturb my sleep,” you repeated, your voice almost trembling in anger.
He took a step back, his arms open as he shrugged with a smirk until his back met the bark of the tree once again. “That is what I said, darling.”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Like that’s stopped you before.”
As you waited for a sassy retort that didn’t come, Astarion remained silent as he crossed his arms. His eyes wandered away from yours to the deeper and darkest parts of the forest where the light of the moon couldn’t get past the thick canopy. You couldn’t tell if his elven ears had sensed something you were physically incapable to, or if he was just ignoring you like he did the past few days.
Before you could stop it, your tadpole squirmed behind your eye, reaching for Astarion. Searching for answers he wasn’t willing to give you with his own mouth. You managed to get only a glimpse of that darkness behind his eyes —an anger that he was barely able to contain— before your conscience smacked against a wall.
At the same time, Astarion’s head snapped towards you. “Did you really try to slither into my mind?”
An irritated surprise dripped from his voice, but you caught the flash of betrayal that crossed his face.
“I’m sorry.”
You pressed your palms to your eyeballs, trying to get rid of the prickly sensation of blooming tears. You took that moment in the black void to put your thoughts back into place; to calm your racing heart and give some sense to the storm raging in your head. “I just want to understand what’s going on, if I did something-”
“Why do you even care if I feed on you or not?”
Another wave of confusion washed over you as your hands fell to your sides. “What?”
“It sure must be draining for you,” —with a smooth movement, he pushed himself away from the tree— “letting me drink your blood every other day. Yet you always come through.” He smiled, his teeth poking through his grin almost menacingly. “So zealous and happy to please.”
He started circling you, like a murder of crows over a carcass. A sense of unease started creeping up on you, sending shivers down your spine as you followed closely his movements. You didn’t think he wanted to kill you, but if he put his mind to it, he probably could.
“But the question remains…” He took a step towards you, close enough for you to smell the blood stuck on his clothes. You moved backwards, immediately hitting a tree in your way. Astarion stood in front of you, his eyes almost piercing your soul. “Why do you do it?”
“You said it yourself,” you said calmly even though the blood in your veins had never pumped so quickly, “you’re stronger when you drink-”
He chuckled, clapping once his hands together. “I fear my point is not really coming across, so I’ll rephrase my question. What do you gain from that?”
“I… I don’t think I-”
Your words were cut when Astarion’s hand wrapped around your neck. He leaned closer, his breath tickling your skin and waking up a desire that was entirely uncalled for while you stared into the eyes of a predator.
“Sex, darling.” His whisper ran down your spine, shaking you to your core. “That’s what you gain from it.”
Memories flowed in your brain and you couldn’t tell if it was you who brought them up or Astarion. The digging of teeth in your throat and the metallic scent of your own blood stuffing the air around hit you harder than a sledgehammer. You were back on the ground, pinned down between him and the dirt. His hands held you down as he drank, roaming over your clothes, unclasping buckles and grasping handful of flesh.
There was the aching between your legs and the release that followed when his undivided attention moved from your neck to the rest of your body. And above all else, the pleasure of being wanted.
“That was not in the deal.” You shook your head as much as you could while your neck was still in his grip. “It’s something between us and you also gain from it.”
“I gain nothing from it.”
His grip tightened around around your throat as he hissed in your face, his nails digging a little too deep into your skin. Your tadpole squirmed, anticipating a wave of disgust and shame that shook every nerve and cell in your brain. You squeezed your eyes, almost overwhelmed by the revulsion pouring into you.
“You started it.”
You still remembered the first time it happened, a week or two into your agreement. Slightly light-headed from the blood loss, when Astarion moved away from your neck it took you a second to realize that he hadn’t left. He was still there, looking down on you with blood still dripping from his mouth.
“I could ease your pain, if you want. Just this one time.” His hand accompanied his words, slowly gliding down your chest and along your thighs. “But you have to ask first.”
Then it happened again. And again. And again. And then there was not one time when he fed on you that he didn’t eat twice.
You swallowed the memory, your throat barely moving in his grip. “If you didn’t want it then why-”
“Manipulation, sweetheart!” Astarion widened his arms, posing dramatically and thankfully freeing your neck. “I saw an opportunity to bring you to my side and I took it. It was instinctive, really,” he continued with a shrug as you massaged your sore neck, “almost too easy creating a connection between pain and pleasure so you’d feed me willingly.”
A crease appeared between his eyebrows while his face crumpled in a pained expression. “It didn’t matter what it took to achieve it as long as it served me and my safety.”
Despite the fear still screaming inside, despite every survival instinct left in you, you stretched out your hand to him. Your fingertips brushed his bare forearm for a mere moment before he pulled away, his face distorted by an angry smile.
“But you have outplayed me.” He clapped slowly, loud enough for an animal nearby to scatter away in fear. “Bravo to you.”
You shook your head, even more lost than before. “What are you talking about?”
“Do you truly think me so foolish?”
His scream left his mouth like a curse, raw and jagged at the edges as his hand clenched his shirt right above his heart. The smug facade had crumbled, leaving behind a boiling anger that contorted his face. You heard more scattering in the forest: a rustling of leaves, flutters of wings, terrified chirps and squeaks as all the creatures in the surrounding area ran away.
Not you though. Immobile as the tree you were pressed against, you stood where you were, looking Astarion straight into his eyes as he pointed his finger to your face.
“You hide behind words of selflessness but you’re playing with me just as all the others before you. Always wanting,” he hissed, despair slowly filling his eyes as he lowered his hand and raised his chin, “always pushing for more.”
You clenched your jaw as the lump in your throat grew with every new arrow that Astarion aimed at your heart. “You’re painting me as someone I’m not.”
He scoffed again, as if your words were the mere whining of a spoiled kid. Taking another step closer to you, you could almost feel his anger blurring the air around him, its heat tingling on your skin.
“Then what was that? That desire next to the fire?” He tilted his head as his index moved up along your neck. “For a moment there, when I looked at the portrait you made, I thought you actually cared,” —his lips trembled with ache— “that I wasn’t just the pleasure I pushed you to want… but then I touched you and I saw it.” Astarion grabbed your chin tightly, making you impossible to look away. “That craving in your eyes.”
He leaned even closer, until your faces were barely apart.
“What did you want so badly?”
Finally all the pieces of the puzzle that you’d been gathering in the last few days finally snapped together. The blur in your head cleared and everything —or at least, most of it— started making sense once again. Sighing shakily your relief, your fingers slowly reached for the steel hand clawing to your chin
“I just wanted that,” you whispered as your fingertips brushed the pale skin of his hand. “That soft, kind touch.”
His muscles tensed under your touch, but this time Astarion didn’t jolt away. Inhaling sharply, he let you encase his fingers in yours, gradually loosening his grip around your face.
“The interest that you showed in me, the pleasure you gave me,” you shook your head, your gaze lowered on your joined hands. “It was flattering and I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it, but I always knew it wasn’t entirely genuine. However, that closeness,” —your thumb moved almost instinctively as it caressed the back of his hand— “that softness you showed me…”
Your gaze snapped back up to him as you tried to breathe in as much air as you could. “I just wanted more of that intimacy.”
Astarion remained silent for a while, looking into your eyes as if —by not breaking eye contact with you— he would be able to catch a crack in your act.
When your tadpole squirmed, sensing Astarion’s doubt as he searched for more reassurance than just your words, you didn’t oppose any resistance. You pushed down the tiny ache of knowing that he still didn’t trust you completely and let your truest emotions come to the surface.
The moment the realization hit him, the anger on his face disappeared into thin air like smoke after a fire; all that was left behind was a broken relief. Astarion took a few steps back, letting go of your hand as he turned his back to you. He threw his head back and took a deep breath in, his hands planted on his slender waist.
As you followed him from a distance, you noticed a movement coming from one of the tents. Wyll was looking at you, his eyebrows creasing in worry as they keep darting from your face to Astarion, who was now pacing back and forth on the grass.
You wondered how long he had been standing there. How much he had seen. The mere thought made you feel extremely exposed, as though your clothes had suddenly became invisible to the naked eye. You silently reassured Wyll, your tadpole squirming even more behind your eyes while connecting to the warlock’s. You waved quickly at him, responding to his small smile, before he disappeared back into his tent.
You exhaled slowly, moving your gaze back to Astarion. He was still giving you his back, however he stood still under the moonlight, his hair almost reflecting the silvery rays. He looked like the moon itself: so beautiful, and yet so unreadable.
A sudden thought crossed your mind, the question that had been bugging you since the start of that entire ordeal, and to which you hadn’t got an answer yet. You took a deep as you got ready to utter those words, terrified of what the answer was going to be. Scared that the response would break your heart.
“Was it real, that kindness?”
Your voice trembled, barely able to contain the worry that threatened to spill from your eyes. “Or was it just another ruse of yours?”
Astarion turned around. His face was scarred by hurting despite the smile that was pulling his face.
“Of course it was real.” He held out his hands, almost trying to grasp the words he needed, before his arms fell back to his sides. “Otherwise, it would’ve made keeping you away much less painful to bear.”
You had never seen him look so helpless, so defenseless as he stared at you. Your heart broke at seeing him like, but there was still joy gushing through the cracks as you moved towards him. Taking those last few steps that kept you apart, you stopped only when your bodies were just a breath away.
“Why didn’t you talk to me?”
Moving carefully, you pushed your fingers forth until they gently brushed his hand. Once more, he tensed under your touch but didn’t move away.
“I’m not like you, darling.” His smug smile made a brief appearance before it split into an aching wince. “I don’t open up easily.”
“Really?” You couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle, which gained you a raised eyebrow from him. “It took me over a month to bring myself to sketch in front of anyone else. Honestly, I might be more mysterious than you are.”
Astarion scoffed playfully. “Darling, I am a riddle in vampire form: forever unknowable.” As you softly chuckled, his fingers moved and hooked onto yours. “However, I must admit that your secrecy is… very intriguing.”
“There’s nothing that interesting about my life,” you admitted softly, lowering your gaze. “It’s been a pretty boring existence before meeting you and the others.”
A second later, two fingers moved your chin up until your eyes were back into Astarion’s. Your breath stopped for a second when they moved along your jaw before gently cupping your cheek.
“There is —and never will be— nothing boring about you, sweetheart.” His thumb caressed your cheek as you stood still, too scared that he would take it back to move even the smallest muscle. “And even if there was, I’d be happy to hear all the tedious details. And perhaps contribute with some exciting tales if things do get too boring.”
You shook your head with a chuckle, gently tugging his hand. “I expected nothing less from you.”
He grinned, his hand moving down your neck and then brushing along your arm. “Am I already becoming so predictable?”
Before you could answer, Astarion wrapped his fingers around your wrist and brought your hand to his face. He placed your palm on his cheek and leaned into it. You immediately felt the tension in his clenched jaw, the sharp breath he took in and the way his fingers tightened around your hand.
“You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to,” you whispered softly.
“Trust me, I do.” He closed his eyes as he leaned more into your touch. “I want to feel your fingers trace my features and remind me of their existence. I’m just…” —he inhaled and exhaled shakily, before a small grin appeared on his face, “adjusting to it, you know?”
You nodded with a smile. You understood completely as your palm adapted to the edges of Astarion’s face, to his heat —slightly lower than yours— and to the way your cheeks were also flushing as you watched Astarion slowly relax into your touch.
Freeing your other hand from his grip, you cupped his face and gently pulled him with you as you sat on the grass beneath. The ground was moist, the due dotting the stems slightly dampening your pants, but that was the last thing that could bother you in that moment.
When Astarion sat in front of you, you leaned forward, kneeling as you pointed at his crossed legs with a nod. “Can I sit there?”
A mischievous glint shone in his eyes, something you should’ve expected, but you shook your head, your serious frown never leaving your face. “And feel free to tell me to go fuck myself if you don’t want to, because I will.”
His hands had moved to your hips before you were finished, pulling you in his lap as his smirk grew even wider. “Oh, I’m sure you gladly would, wouldn’t you?”
You rolled your eyes, shaking your head and biting your lower lip as your cheeks started burning up. “Shut up.”
Then your thumbs moved, circling on his cheekbones. Astarion closed his eyes for a moment, his eyelids shuddering at every brush of your fingertips. His fingers dug slightly into your hips when the warmth of your hands left his cheeks to the chill air of the night; when your fingers started wandering on the rest of his face. You traced his eyebrows and then moved your fingertips along his nose and back up, always under Astarion’s scarlet gaze. When you passed them on his forehead, the tension in his face disappeared under your touch. It was almost like a spell, some secret magic that your hands had always possessed but kept hidden from everyone, even from you.
While your fingers moved almost on their own along those features you knew like the back of your hand, you studied those smaller details that you couldn’t make out from a distance. The wrinkles and circles around his eyes, the small imperfections in his otherwise flawless skin.
“See anything you like?”
You smiled, mirroring his grin, as your indexes followed his smile lines until they brushed the corner of his lips. “What’s there not to like.”
“Good answer.” His smirk grew wider as his hand cupped your face. “Please, don’t hold any compliment back.”
Your thumb brushed over his lips, pulling down ever so slightly his bottom lip. “The same goes for you, fangs.”
Astarion cocked his eyebrow. “Fangs, really?”
“It’s cute, don’t you think?” You passed a hand through his hair, noticing the way his lips slightly fell open when you did. “Just like you.”
He snorted, shaking his head. “I would never use that word to describe me, darling. Not in a thousand years.”
His hands left your hips and moved to your face, caressing your cheeks before gliding to the back of your head. Your breath hung in your throat as he stroked your hair; as he pulled your face closer to his until your foreheads touched.
“But I have to admit, it sounds quite nice when you pronounce it.” His whisper hit your skin, warm and intoxicating, setting your face —your entire body— aflame. His fingers traced your mouth, a feather touch that you were not expecting.
“Perhaps,” he breathed again, even closer than before, “your lips could transform any monster in a docile and submissive creature.”
“Is that a request?”
“More a suggestion. For another time, perhaps. ” His fingers moved along your jaws, dreadfully slow. “But I wouldn’t mind a taste.”
His other hand, still wrapped on the back of your hand, pulled you in but your lips didn’t meet. Your fingers, that you had moved on his mouth, were keeping him away. When he moved back, eyes narrowed in confusion, Astarion was met with a mischievous grin.
“You should ask more nicely, fangs.”
His confusion was soon replaced by a pleased glimmer in his eyes. He snorted before cupping your cheek with his hand, his half-lidded gaze on you.
“May I taste your lips, darling?”
The low growl in his voice sent shivers down your spine, stirring your insides like a boiling stew, but you weren’t done. Not yet. You leaned in, stopping inches away from his face as your thumbs kept stroking his cheeks.
“I said nicely, fangs.”
Under your eyes, Astarion swallowed, his tongue darting in between his teeth and licking quickly his lips before he grinned.
“Please?”
“Very good.”
Your whisper brushed against his mouth a second before yours pressed softly on it, in a kiss so different from the rawness you were used to with him. So sweet and calm, even when he kissed you back, slowly opening and closing his lips on yours. He was in no rush as his hands stroked your hair, as they tentatively moved on your shoulders and along your bare arms —sending shivers alone your spine as he did so— until they covered yours. His fingers were almost trembling as they intertwined with yours.
You gently pulled back, gasping for air as you looked him in the eyes. They were still studying you, scarlet pools reading into the darkest depths of your soul and seeing things that they couldn’t understand yet. You weren’t used to that emotional closeness, to someone else being able to see you and wanting to know more.
It was terrifying, no denying that; but also kind of exhilarating.
Astarion smiled, almost as if he had just read your mind —and maybe, he really had. Nudging his nose against your cheek, he squeezed your hands in his.
“I believe you will truly ruin me, my dear.”
“For good or for worse?”
He kissed your lips again, a quick kiss but somehow deeper than before that left your head spinning even when he pulled back and shrugged. “That’s still to be determined.”
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helloalycia · 1 month
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𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑
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two / three / four / masterlist / wattpad
summary: the usual story of a girl falling for a girl who eventually becomes her brother's girlfriend. What could go wrong?
warning/s: none.
author's note: here’s another jackie one i wrote a while ago as i’m trying to post some stuff i’ve already written whilst working on a bunch of other stuff lol, this one was super fun to write so i hope you enjoy it!
also i googled what grades and ages are in america but it well confused me so sorry if it's wrong lol
y/b/n = your band’s name and y/bf/n = your best friend's name
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5 years old.
"You're gonna love it, Y/N, I just know it," my brother, Jeff, was encouraging me as he walked by my side, holding my hand.
I smiled nervously, looking up at him and immediately being put at ease. It was my first day of kindergarten and I'd been super nervous the last few weeks, wondering what it would be like. Jeff was a year older than me, so it was his first day of first grade but he never seemed scared about these things. I wanted to be just like that.
"Okay, my darlings, this is where I leave you," our mum said, stopping by the front gates. She kneeled down to hug us both, adding, "I love you so much. Have the best first day. Okay? And Y/N, if you're worried, your brother is here for you, alright?"
I nodded, squeezing her tightly, before letting go. Jeff gave me a smile before leading me through the gates.
"You're gonna go that way, over there," he told me, pointing to the line forming by the front of the school. "Just look out for me over here, okay?"
"Thanks, Jeff," I said, hugging his side briefly before making my way to the queue that was forming. Other kids like me, nervously awaiting their first day.
After the teacher greeted me and led me to the queue, I waited patiently for the rest of the class to settle down and glanced over to the other queue across the playground, where Jeff was. He was surrounded by his friends, all grinning as they reunited, and I recognised a few of them from play dates at home. My eyes scanned the line he was in, glancing between the other students. And that's when I saw her.
At the time, I didn't know her name. I soon discovered it was Jackie Taylor. But I didn't care at that moment because all I was focused on was how pretty she looked, laughing with some other girls. Her blonde hair was pulled back into two ponytails, her bright eyes shimmering with excitement, even all the way across the playground. I didn't know what liking somebody was that young, I just knew that the butterflies in my stomach and my inability to look anywhere but at her wasn't normal.
I suppose that was where my crush on Jackie Taylor began.
14 years old.
"Y/N, I need your advice."
I looked up from the book I was reading to see Jeff hanging by the doorway of my room. He was unusually sheepish, making me lower my book and raise an eyebrow.
"What's up?" I asked, making space for him on my bed.
He let himself in my room, jumping on top of the bed and crossing his legs. "So... you're a girl, right?"
I tried not to laugh. "Last time I checked."
He was nervous. "Sorry, I know, I just meant– you know how girls think. And I... I think I like a girl. At school. And I wanted your opinion."
Intrigued, I said, "Which girl? What's she like?"
"I think you might know her," he said. "Or at least have seen her around. Y'know Jackie Taylor in my grade? Blonde hair, about your height, really hot?"
At the mention of Jackie, a girl I'd been crushing on since I first set eyes on her, my smile faded slightly. I'd seen her around a lot at school, since she was only in the grade above, and though I'd never spoken to her, it was easy for me to get stuck in admiration from afar. Of course I knew I had zero chances with her, but now knowing Jeff liked her too was like the world's way of confirming that my fantasy of being with Jackie Taylor was just that, a fantasy.
"Oh, yeah, Jackie Taylor," I said after a moment, hiding my surprise. "She's pretty."
"She is," he agreed with a smile that was reminiscent of my own whenever I saw her. "I think she might be interested in me too. Randy said her friend Shauna was asking about me."
"Well, that's gotta be a good sign," I said with a slight smile, trying to ignore the pit of despair and focus on being happy for my brother. "What's the problem then?"
He sighed. "Well, I wasn't sure whether I should ask her out or play the long game a little. What d'you think?"
I scratched my head to buy some time as I thought. "Erm... well, from a girl's perspective, I wouldn't want someone to mess around for too long if they liked me. And Jackie seems like quite the catch. If you don't make your move, somebody else might."
He nodded, actually paying attention to me surprisingly. "You're right, you're right... I should ask her out before someone else does."
"Exactly," I agreed.
He thought about it for a moment before beginning to smile. "You're so right, Y/N. Thank you!"
Before I could react, he hugged me quickly, and that was when I knew that no matter what feelings I thought I had for Jackie Taylor, it didn't matter anymore. She was off limits.
Of course, when I wished it would just end there, it didn't. Turns out Jeff was terrible at making the first move, or at least finding the opportunity to. So much that when he begged me to try out for the soccer team a few days later, claiming he needed a reason to talk to her, I had no choice but to oblige. I loved my brother and I knew he'd do the same for me, so I pushed my own feelings aside and did what I could to help. No matter how humiliating it would be.
Soccer was not my forte. Music was my thing. I played the guitar and piano, putting my time into that as an extracurricular, not sports. So, when I showed up for soccer tryouts after school, Jeff by my side for 'support', I was a nervous wreck.
"Jeff Sadecki," Jackie said when we approached her, a flirty smile on her lips. And then her eyes fell to me. "And you must be Y/N, his sister. Nice to meet you."
I smiled awkwardly, realising just how badly I was crushing when I heard her speak. She knew who I was?
"Take it easy on my sister, yeah?" Jeff said playfully, wrapping an arm around me, to which I shoved him off instantly.
"Oh, I'm sure she can handle whatever I throw her way," she retorted, before glancing at me kindly. "Right, Y/N?"
"I wouldn't be too sure about that," I mumbled, already dreading tryouts.
She must have thought I was kidding as she laughed. "You head over there to stretch. I'll be right over."
I obeyed, relieved to be away from the flirty glances her and my brother were exchanging that were making me nauseous.
After stretching and hoping I wouldn't do something extremely embarrassing, I glanced over at Jackie and Jeff, seeing her twirling her hair as she spoke to him. He was ecstatic, and I wanted to die. Finally, he went to sit in the bleachers to watch, and Jackie joined us soon enough.
"Okay, ladies, soccer tryouts start now!" she exclaimed with a bright smile, clapping her hands together. "Hope you're all ready to show the Yellowjackets your worth!"
I groaned inwardly at her enthusiasm.
Tryouts was the worst thing I'd ever endured. Between drills, shooting and scrimmage, I was breathless after an hour. How the hell did people play soccer for fun? It was exhausting! The only thing that made this a little worth the hassle was having a front row view of Jackie, who was admittedly drool-worthy in her soccer uniform. Even when she was yelling orders, I still found myself distracted and unable to focus on an already boring sport.
It was especially embarrassing when I was attempting to practice taking goals and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to land a shot. Some of the other girls who were trying out were laughing at me, I could hear them, and even some of the Yellowjackets team were mumbling between each other, no doubt about how terrible I was. Everything we'd done until now, I'd failed. But this was just the cherry on top.
Whether it was because I was Jeff's little sister, or because she genuinely pitied me – possibly both – Jackie tried to help out.
"Kick with the side of your foot," she said, as I lined up another shot. "Don't overthink it. Just aim and kick!"
Wanting this to just be over already, I tried to do as she said and took the shot. Naturally, the ball went completely past the net, and the goalkeeper, Van, didn't have to move a muscle as she watched it roll away. Face flaming with embarrassment, I shook my head.
"It's okay, maybe shooting isn't your strength!" Jackie tried to reassure.
We both knew none of this was my strength, but I said nothing as I rejoined the line and let the next girl go.
If that wasn't awful enough, the last part of tryouts approached and I soon found myself playing in a scrimmage as a midfielder, trying my best to keep up with the game and not make a further fool of myself. Luck didn't seem to be with me, as when someone shouted my name and I prepared myself to catch the ball at my feet, I didn't step back quickly enough and it hit me right in the face, sending a burst of pain up my nose and me on my arse.
Horrified as people began to rush up to me to check if I was okay, I tried to assure them I was fine, but it was looking more and more unbelievable as blood ran from my nose. 
"Guys, give her some space!" Jackie said, before making her way through the crowd to check on me. Worriedly, she grabbed my face and inspected my nose. "Fuck... C'mon. I should get you to the nurse's office."
"Oh my god, Y/N...," Jeff appeared, slowing down when he saw the state of me. He clearly found it amusing as he stifled a smile. "Are you okay?"
I glared at him as Jackie helped me stand up.
Both her and Jeff led me to the nurse's office, though their attention was more on each other than it was on me. I tried not to sulk about it as I went to get seen to and watched them flirt outside the door, clearly getting what they wanted. I'd made a fool of myself in front of Jackie for sure, but it didn't matter because Jeff seemed happy enough, and I guess that was all that mattered.
After that awful day, it was safe to say I didn't make the team, not that that was the aim. But Jeff did finally ask Jackie out, and after a few more dates, they became official. Their relationship was sweet, and Jackie was exceptionally polite to me, but that was because she saw me as her boyfriend's little sister and nothing more.
I knew it was for the best and hoped it would help me get over my crush on her, but it really didn't.
Shortly after they started dating, it was clear that I had my responsibilities as the boyfriend's little sister. Jackie approached me one day at school, where I was chatting with some of my friends by my locker. Because of how smart and pretty and kind Jackie was, she was pretty well known in my grade also, and it was always seen as cool to know someone in the grade above. So, when she found me, my friends immediately fell silent, amazed at the fact I was talking to a tenth grader.
"Hey Jackie, what's up?" I asked, wondering what she needed.
She flashed a picture perfect smile to my friends, who were either drooling over her or stunned into silence, then looked back to me. "I wanted to ask if you were coming to the game later?"
"Game?" I asked with confusion.
"My soccer match," she clarified.
"Oh, er...," I started, but wasn't really sure what to say because I didn't know I needed to, or that she'd want me there. "I think Jeff is?"
"I know that, silly," she laughed, making my heart skip a beat annoyingly enough, "but I wanted you to come too! Thought it could be fun and I could use the support."
Feeling like I had no choice, I nodded. "Yeah, sure, I'll come."
She grinned. "Awesome!" Then she glanced at my friends saying, "You guys should come too. The more, the merrier."
They nodded awkwardly, and she smiled at me once more before leaving. And that was how I got roped into attending the Yellowjackets' soccer games, as someone who had zero interest in soccer.
Maybe it was because she was dating my brother that she felt she needed to spend time with me, I wasn't sure. But for whatever reason, Jackie tried her best to chat with me whenever she was around, or hang out with me a little.
The first time she tried was after school, when she was hanging out with Jeff at our house. I was in my room doing some homework when there was a knock at my door, and after letting whoever it was in, Jackie appeared.
"Oh," I said, surprised. "Hey, Jackie."
"Hey," she said with a smile, before letting herself in and looking around. "Cool room."
I glanced around, as if to see what she was seeing. It was nothing special, just some posters blu-tacked on the walls, mismatched bedsheets on my bed and a pile of dirty laundry in the corner. Still, I smiled a little, acknowledging her comment.
"So, what're you doing?" she asked, sitting at the edge of my bed, before her eyes fell to the keyboard and guitar on the side. "Oh, that's cool! You play?"
I watched as she got up to take a closer look, though clearly not familiar with the instruments as she was reluctant to touch anything. "Yeah, I took lessons as a kid and it kinda became my favourite thing."
"Leave it to Jeff to not tell me how cool his little sister is," she mumbled with amusement, and it stung just a little, the reminder of how she saw me. Glancing at me hopefully, she asked, "Can you play something for me?"
"I actually have homework to do," I said apologetically, but also glad for the out, because she didn't need to know that most of the stuff I'd composed was inspired by her.
"Oh, right, yeah, duh," she said with a laugh, before approaching my desk and hovering above me, making me forgot how to breathe. "What you working on? English?"
All I could do was nod.
"Need a hand?" she asked helpfully. "I already did this and I'm pretty good if I do say so myself."
"Oh, I think I've got it–" I tried to stop her, but she was already grabbing the seat to my keyboard and pulling it next to me.
"I don't mind, honest," she said sweetly, before grabbing my book and taking a look.
With no choice but to accept her help, I let her. And that was when I realised she was just trying to be nice to me, and I kind of had to accept.
She'd do that occasionally, or greet me in school when she didn't need to, and I thought that getting to know her like this might help eradicate my crush on her, since it was based on a fantasy of what I thought I knew about her. Unfortunately, it only made me like her more because I got to know her as more than the fantasy in my head, and it turned out that the real Jackie Taylor was still worth crushing on.
It was about a month into hers and Jeff's relationship when they broke up. I wasn't sure how or why, just that one day Jeff came back from a date looking annoyed and told me in a firm statement that he and Jackie were over. I wasn't sure what to think, nor how it really affected me other than I'd lost out on a somewhat decent relationship with Jackie. It was even more awkward when I realised Jackie had promised to tutor me for an upcoming English test and I wasn't sure if she'd even talk to me, or if I was supposed to talk to her.
The following Monday after their break up, I saw Jackie around at school but didn't know whether I could speak to her or not. But then she came to me at my locker, as if nothing was wrong.
"Hey, you still free after school for that tutoring?" she asked with her usual friendly smile.
"I... yes?" I answered, though it was more of a question because of how confused I was.
"Okay," she laughed, "why do you seem so puzzled?" When I didn't answer, she continued, "Oh, did you think I was gonna bail because Jeff and I broke up?"
I pursed my lips uncomfortably. "Yes?"
She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm not. What happened between Jeff and I is separate to us, Y/N. I mean, he's definitely a jerk, but that doesn't make you one."
I smiled awkwardly, unsure what exactly he'd done to be deemed a 'jerk' but also not caring enough to ask.
"Meet you in the library after school?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
Surprised but also appreciative that she was still willing to tutor me, I nodded in agreement. "Sounds good, Jackie. Thanks."
She flashed me a smile before leaving.
Tutoring happened as planned and I aced my test the day after. But then the day after that, Jackie and Jeff were suddenly back together like nothing had happened, and once she told me it was a mistake upon seeing my confusion, I soon realised they had one of those relationships. They'd break up over stupid stuff but ultimately get back together, and as exhausting as it was to witness, I knew it wasn't my business.
15 years old.
I sat and ate my dinner as my parents chatted Jackie's ear off about soccer and her studies. She was over for the evening as Jeff's date, courtesy of my parents, a somewhat regular occurrence lately. And I didn't mind, but it was getting a little tiring listening to the same thing all the time. Though, I regretted thinking that as soon as the conversation turned to me.
"...yes, she's started a band with her friends," my mum was telling Jackie. "They're playing the school dance next week."
Jackie immediately looked to me with amazement. "Wait, you're Y/B/N? You and your friends?"
I grew embarrassed as everyone looked at me. It was true that some of my friends and I had started a band, mainly because we were bored and needed an outlet from school, but also because it was something fun to do on the side. It wasn't a secret, but it was the last thing I wanted to discuss at dinner.
"Yeah, it's just something new," I said dismissively.
"Don't sell yourself short, Y/N, you guys are great," Jeff said encouragingly, and I smiled gratefully at him. As far as older brothers went, he was pretty good.
"I cannot wait to see you perform," Jackie said with an excited smile. "It's gonna be so cool."
"Let's hope so," I said lightheartedly.
"She's a little nervous, since it's their first live performance," my mum decided to embarrass me further, making me avoid everyone's eyes. "It'll be lovely to have support already in the crowd."
"Oh, of course!" Jackie continued brightly. "The team and I are gonna be there for you, Y/N. And if you want, I can help you get ready for the dance beforehand, I don't mind."
"Oh, no, you don't need to–"
"That's very generous of you, Jackie!" my mum exclaimed, cutting me off. "Thank you!"
Jackie grinned, eyes flickering to mine as I wished to be swallowed up by the ground there and then. Jackie Taylor helping me get ready for a school dance? No, thanks.
But due to my mum's insistence, that was how I found myself sat on my bed a week later, with Jackie doing my makeup.
"Your shirt is what colour again?" she asked as she scanned the eyeshadow palette in her hand.
"Black, but the skirt is blue," I said as nonchalantly as I could, hoping she couldn't hear my heart racing in my chest.
I wasn't handling the whole having my crush inches away from my face thing very well, and I was certainly having a hard time hiding it.
"Okay, great, I have the perfect idea," she said with a grin, before coating her brush in a colour and leaning forward again. "Close your eyes for me?"
Relieved I wouldn't have to look at her, I closed my eyes and let her apply my eye makeup, trying not to focus on the warmth emanating from her or the way the pad of her finger would gently rub at my skin or the caress of her breath as she exhaled. Nope, not focusing on any of it.
"So, any boys caught your eye that you're gonna dance with tonight?" she asked as she worked.
"Erm, not really, no," I mumbled.
She paused, and I almost opened my eyes to see why, but then she said, "Any girls? Because that's okay, too."
My cheeks were hot and I was relieved my eyes were closed otherwise she would've seen, truly, how flustered I was.
"No," I finally answered, clearing my throat. "I mean, it's okay, but no."
Did I just come out? Probably. But it wasn't a secret, and Jackie didn't seem to care.
"That's okay, just wait until they all see you perform," she said supportively. "Girls are suckers for musicians."
Yeah, but not the girl I wanted.
"Speaking of performing, is it gonna be originals or covers?"
"Covers for now," I answered, glad we were discussing something I was comfortable with. "The originals aren't ready for performing just yet."
"Ooh, so there are originals," she said in a playful tone. "Did you write any?"
"Some, yeah."
"Okay, eye makeup is done," she said quickly, and I opened my eyes to see her searching for a lipstick, but she continued talking, "And do I get to hear any of these originals?"
"Not yet," I quipped with a nervous smile, and I secretly hoped she'd never ask again because they were all about her.
She pouted playfully and I was forced to look away, a tornado twisting in my stomach because of how cute she looked.
After a moment, she lifted a dark red colour in the air with enthusiasm. "This is the one."
I assumed she'd give it me to put on, but she instantly uncapped the lipstick before leaning close again, grabbing my chin softly and painting my lips red. I was paralysed at the contact, my eyes flickering between hers. They looked greener than usual because of her green shirt, and then I started focusing on the space behind her head, realising I was staring.
"I think this is my best work yet," she said with pride, letting go and looking at me way more than I preferred. "You're really nervous, aren't you? Don't worry, you're gonna be great, Y/N."
Yeah, not nervous for what she thought... but I'd take it.
"Okay, get ready so I can see the final look," she feigned impatience, smacking me with her hands.
"Okay, okay, geez, Jackie." I got up as she laughed, and grabbed my clothes from the hangar.
I changed behind my wardrobe door, physically incapable of changing in front of her. When I stepped out, hair and makeup fully done, I glanced in the mirror and was pleased with what I saw, not really doubting Jackie's abilities. I turned to show Jackie, who stood up from the bed and looked me up and down, leaving me nervous all over again.
"You. Look. Beautiful," she said with a kind smile, approaching me and fixing my hair from the front.
"Thanks, Jackie," I said, both flustered and with appreciation.
Her eyes continued to take in my whole appearance, making me avoid meeting her gaze as I distracted myself with pulling on my shoes.
"So, are you not getting ready?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Yes, Jeff said he'd drop me back off to mine so I can get ready with Shauna," she said. "Just wanted to make sure you were good to go first."
"Well, thanks, I appreciate it."
Once my shoes were on, I grabbed my jacket and opened my bedroom door, holding it open for her. Walking her downstairs, we stopped by the front door and Jeff and her left for her place whilst my mum dropped me off to the school early so the band and I could get ready.
The school gym was already decorated for the dance, the stage set up with our instruments. I found my friends backstage and smiled at how coordinated we all looked with our outfits.
The band was made up of myself on the guitar and keyboard, Y/BF/N on the drums, Tommy on vocals and guitar and Aaron on bass. We'd all been friends since kindergarten and grew closer in Music class, and they were a tight knit group that I couldn't imagine being without.
We'd practiced a lot since officially forming about a month ago, so I wasn't doubting our ability to sound good, but the dance was our first proper live performance and it was still a little nerve wracking.
"Okay, guys, this is it," Tommy said as we all got ready for the curtains to open. "Not a big deal, but also could be the difference between high school suicide and surviving the next three years."
"No pressure, in other words," Y/BF/N said sarcastically, making Aaron and I laugh.
"We've got this," I assured them all. "Good luck, gang."
They all returned it before we got into our positions and waited for the principal to announce us. I clutched my guitar pick and took a deep breath once I heard our name, then the curtains opened revealing the sports hall full of students, including Jeff, Jackie and all of her teammates.
They all smiled supportively, and I admittedly let my gaze linger on Jackie for a second longer than I should have. I couldn't help it – she looked so pretty in her purple satin dress, enough that I almost missed my cue to play because of how distracted I was.
We performed a few covers smoothly, making no mistakes and eventually falling into our usual rhythm, and everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves. After a set, the DJ took over and we all left our instruments onstage before leaving to have a break.
"I can't believe we just did that," Y/BF/N said with amazement.
"Neither can I," Tommy agreed with a laugh before pulling us all into a group hug.
After having the ultimate debrief of our performance, still in disbelief and on a high from it all, we went our separate ways to catch up with others, and Jeff and Jackie found me immediately.
"Y/N, that was awesome!" Jeff exclaimed when he saw me, before pulling me in for a hug. "You were amazing up there!"'
I chuckled, blushing. "Thanks, Jeff. You think everyone liked it? Like actually?"
"Of course they did!" he said like I was stupid. "Y'know how cool you are now?"
"Hey, she was always cool," Jackie said, smacking him playfully before shooting me a smile that made me weak in the knees; she was even prettier up close. "Y/N, you were amazing up there. Real badass. The team thought so too."
"Thanks, Jackie," I said with a nod, heart racing just a little more than usual.
"You're not on a for a while now, right?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, and all it took was for me to shake my head before she grabbed my hand and led me to the dancefloor with Jeff. "Good, you can dance with us!"
"Oh, I don't know–"
"Let loose, Y/N," she insisted with a grin, before dragging me to where her teammates were.
And as soon as they saw me, they showered me in compliments and I was flustered the whole time, not used to the attention. It was kind of Jackie to have them cheer me on, but it was also just another reminder that they all saw me as Jeff's little sister. Still, I tried to focus on how great the night had been and let myself enjoy it.
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