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violetasteracademic · 5 hours

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I know people are already discrediting Sarah's instagram post today, which is perfectly fine. Of course an author should be able to post about a new album they are enjoying and have that be it. And people are welcome to interpret this however they wish. Confirmation bias is a real thing, and none of us are above it.

For example, I myself am a writer. I spend a lot of time curating playlists that remind me of my characters and help me get in their headspace. I truly believe a lot of writers connect deeply to music and lyrics and poetry that hit dip on themes they explore. So this confirms my bias that Sarah is extremely excited about an amazing song that just dropped by a massive artist that reminds her of her work. That is truly one of the best feelings in the world.

Ana Huang curates playlists for every single one of her couples and books. She both posts them on her website and at the beginning of her books:

These photos were pulled directly from my kindle from her website.

Sarah does have a book announcement coming soon. One of the biggest stars in the world and one of her favorite artists released a song that has an uncanny amount of similar themes to a couple that every major news outlet covering the topic in the past months have suggested is "suspected or likely to be next" and Sarah was genuinely so excited about that song (out of 31 tracks) and said "Thank you for this GIFT."

Just a few weeks ago SJM made a big post about Spring. It was full of flowers, blushes and pinks, and BAKING! All of those things scream Elain, however there was a huge surge of "Sarah is so intentional, she does everything for a reason. There is no way this isn't confirming Lucien or Tamlin endgame." Those same people are now saying that this very pointed instagram post is meaningless and let the woman just post fun stuff that she likes. Sarah also loves flowers and baking in her real life, so that also *could* have just been things Sarah loves and just general ACOTAR buzz since there are new readers every day and the series starts in the Spring Court.

Another important major thing to note is that Sarah frequently states she does not have social media on her phone, she stays out of theory spaces, and she likely does not run her own socials. Most, if not all of her posts are directly related to her books and generating buzz. Her last feed post was about writing the ACOTAR book, and now a song came out that is potentially a perfect fit. This all falls within marketing and generating buzz and conversation. Sarah likely didn't just download instagram to her personal phone, which she avoids like the plague, just to post this one song and then delete it again. It is more likely it fits in with marketing themes.

The truth is, we, as the consumer, do not get to decide the intentions behind a public persona's social media behavior. But when it comes to Sarah's last two instagram stories, it's either both or neither. Either Sarah's flower and baking filled springtime post meant something AND this means something, or neither meant anything.

Sarah is aware everything she does gets dissected. I'm not making a definitive statement whether or not she leans into that, since she hasn't made an outright statement like the queen of easter eggs herself Taylor Swift has.

But there is only one character relevant to both of her instagram stories: Elain Archeron.

Flowers. Baking. Forbidden love.

We don't have to change up the rules or remove anything from the equation to show all signs point to Elain.

#elriel #elain x azriel #pro elriel #elriel endgame #elriel supremacy #azriel x elain

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zeynepaura · 1 day

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𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇

𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘺𝘭𝘦

The first step to achieving a new goal; identity; a lifestyle is to overcome laziness. I am myself was and sometimes have my lazy moments; however, to really make a change and accomplish the goals you desire first starts with changing your current lifestyle to the one you want; the person you want to become; and to work hard for the goals you want.

Of course, with that being said, do not change your whole lifestyle in one day. That is overwhelming and impossible, you will just go back to your old ways and become worse. Others say to have a new goal each day; however, for a more stable and consistent change, have a new goal every month. For instance, this month you will focus on balancing your meals; and then the next month is to be consistent through your sunnah namaz.

Each time you make these monthly goals, it shifts your one percent better than before. And as always be kind to yourself if you ever fall back or feel like giving up. Change can be difficult and that is why it is also important to go at your own paste even if that monthly goal turns to a year. Try your best and have faith in yourself!

Inshallah these steps help you!

𝑭𝒐𝒄𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒉

When you begin to prioritize Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala I swear your life changes. You begin to have inner peace, confidence, a burst of imaan and happiness. No matter who you are, no matter what your past is, dont ever let it stop you from becoming closer to Allah the Almighty.

We all have a past, guilt, a deed we committed that we are not proud of. But let me tell you something, Allah forgives every sin, Allah loves those who repent and try to change, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive those even if they sinned their whole lives, and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala loves us no matter what.

So, who are you to say you are not worthy of forgiveness? I heard doubting your lord's mercy is a sin itself. That just shows how much our lord loves us, how merciful Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is.

I sometimes do have that feeling of me not being able to be forgiven but please remind yourself how much of a merciful lord we have that even if we repent just now, we are forgiven.

The most important steps to focus on Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and be better is to do the following:

Be consistent and on time with your five daily prayers (Fajr, Dhuhr, Asr, Mahrib, and Isha)

I know Fajr is hard for others or any of the prayers; However, try your best and pray to Allah to make it easier for you, to be consistent, to be engaged in prayer and to connect with it too, Start by setting up an alarm for each of the five prayers, strengthen your imaan by looking up the benefits of the five daily prayers; perform wudhu 10-15 minutes before (I tried this and it definitely made it easier for me to be on time and to be more engaged in namaz).

Perform Dhikr (Whether you have tesbih or the tesbih counter, always repeat Allahs most loved words like Subhanallah; Alhamdulilah, Allahu Akbar; La illaha Ilalah; Agstafurillah, and the 99 names. Even when you are working or at school--no matter where you are repeat these words as they are light on the tongue but heavy on the scale.)

Read the Quran (Sometimes life gets in the way, and we become very busy and that is why I recommend downloading a Quran app so no matter if you're at school or not you can read an ayat or two which is still heavy on the scale. And also learning how to read the Quran. No matter what level you are on learning how to recite the Quran, try your best and know that you can do it!)

Perform goodness (Try your best to give up those bad habits, those bad deeds and replace them with good ones. No matter how big or small those good deeds are, always be consistent with them.)

Make dua (For everything I listed, always make dua to make it easier for you, to ask for the things you want and need, and of course before you even ask for anything always repent and ask for forgiveness, as your lord is the most forgiving)

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒆𝒕

Mindset is everything! Shift your mindset to a positive one! stop thinking that you deserve every bad event. Stop thinking that bad incident was the end of it all; or how that rejection you got is the end to your happiness.

There is something I stand by and believe, and that is whatever did not work out for you is an opportunity for something better to happen.

Regardless of what is happening in your life right now, just know it is a test, a test that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is making you go through because why? Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaloves those he tests and is going to grant something way better. What you need to do is for you to believe something better will happen and to never give up.

Along with changing your mindset--change your mind set about yourself as in stop thinking your this and that, that your "ugly" or "weak". First of all, your beautiful and beauty should not define your inner beauty. Change the way you view yourself, just like affirmations think and believe you are beautiful, your amazing, successful, smart, and going to achieve your goals.

When you start to think of yourself as the person you want to become--you start to become that ideal identity. As you think about how beautiful you are, your face becomes more brighter, or how you began to think on how smart you are, you begin to work harder. Believe it or not but mindset is number one in taking action for change so please think good about yourself and life and shift those bad events to better opportunities.

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓

Character is very important! By changing and improving your character, it overall changes your how you act and think. Character in islam is especially talked about. Following how our Prophet Muhammed sallallahu alaihi wasallam used to speak and his mannerism is an excellent example we should all follow.

Speak softly and to not speak unnecessary words (gossiping, lying, swearing)

Appear approachable (Have a positive demeanor and stop glaring at others!)

Have manners (Fix your posture, know your limits, and be polite)

Smile (Its sunnah!)

Know your limits (As mentioned before, being polite and to smile often; however, there are some people who take kindness the wrong way so make sure to be kind but you don't always have to be that cheerful bear. Make sure you are comfortable and know when to say no.)

𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒚

Education is soooo important!

I know some people hate school and listen I hated school too but! School is so important--education is. Jobs now days only look at your education history and whether you have a diploma or not, which is why you should focus on your studies and go to school!

Others, including me, have had no idea what to study--what to become and at times like that it is very hard and discouraging and I understand. I finally applied to college after finding a program where it did not seem too hard, and it seemed like a program that I could like.

That being said, if you are having trouble to find a career path to pursue, write down your skills, what you're interested in, and what you are good at. For instance, you like to write and like to talk to others--consider Office Administration as you are required to write a lot. Point is, find your passions and research what career you could put your passion in to. And trust me, it won't be easy (pray and make istikhara which career path to take) but I believe we will all figure it out and find that career inshallah.

Take advantage on the ability to be able to study and get that education!

I hope this helps!! and remember to have a good day!

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silenzahra · 2 days

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Who’s your favourite character and why is it Luigi.

(Only correct answer, too bad so sad.)

Oooohhh I'm glad you asked me this question!!! 😁😁😁 I could totally share a lecture on why Luigi is the best character to ever exist, sooooo... I hope you realize that you've awaken the beast 😂😂😂

I don't like Luigi only because he's cute. He is cute, anyone who looks at him can see that, and I love it indeed, but my love for him goes beyond. He's also a kind and gentle person, always willing to help the others, and he's extremely sweet, especially with his loved ones (his bro, his bestie and his partner/s).

He's very supportive: if you ever need some self-confidence or a little push to encourage you to take the step of doing something, he's definitely gonna be there to show how he believes in you and to cheer on you during the process! 💪

He also has great emotional intelligence. That's something @kelbreyworshipper talked about on this post, and I honestly couldn't agree more. I love how he's always there to listen to his loved ones and offer the emotional support they need when they're feeling down, and this is something that's also seen in the movie. I love that side of him because it shows that emotions are very important for him and that he's never going to invalidate yours.

Also, he's so clumsy and anxious that he's very relatable to me! I'm clumsiness personified, and I've been living with anxiety for way too many years now, so I totally get how he feels. And, not gonna lie, it's kind of a relief to see there's more people out there who's going through the same stuff as me, especially being a very famous and loved character as Luigi. Makes me see that I'm not alone and that I'm not hard to love, and that I deserve to be loved just the way I am, like him 🥰

And also: social anxiety. Yikes, I get that too, as well as Luigi, so, again, another thing that makes him relatable! You see how awkward he gets in this post by @jell-o101? That, actually, is me 😅 And he can be so silly as well, like we saw in the movie. I'll never forget the phone scene with Spike 🤭

He's also very soft, for he gets emotional very easily, and is not ashamed to cry or to show his feelings in any way he can. That, I believe, is one of his biggest strengths, for not everyone is able to show themselves being vulnerable, or sad, or scared, and he has no shame nor regret to do so! I personally believe that's quite admirable!

And, of course, he's also strong in other ways! When he loves, he loves so hard and deeply that he'd do literally anything to keep his beloved ones safe and sound, and also happy and taken care of. Luigi is the kind of man that will be by your side in your lowest moments, but will also make sure to defend and protect you when needed. And it doesn't mean he doesn't believe in you: it means that he loves you so much that the protective instinct simply hits in.

This relates directly with his bravery. Many people to this day keep calling Luigi a coward, and it makes me mad because, like, are we talking about the same character? The one that got into a mansion full of ghosts, his biggest fear, to save his beloved big brother? The one that stood in the way of Bowser's fire with a manhole cover to, again, save his big brother's life? You call this cowardice??? 👇

Honestly, I'd like to see those people getting into a place full of the thing they fear the most, or facing fire after they've been about to die in a lava pit. If this isn't bravery in its pure form, I don't know what is 🤷‍♀️

So yeah, Luigi is just as brave as Mario! He simply has a different way to deal with dangerous or stressful situations, but you can bet that, if his brother's life is in danger, he's gonna be the very first one to run to his aid. And the same applies to Peach, Daisy and basically anyone, since, as I said, he's always there to help anyone who needs it.

And I know the Paper Mario series is a spin off, but if I may add, I also LOVE how extremely sassy Paper Luigi can be! 😁 And also very brave, like in other games, and soooo supportive of his big brother!

That's also something that I love about him. Everything I've said about him always wanting to help, and to make sure that the ones he loves are fine, and playing the emotional support role? I especially MELT when this is applied to Mario. We all know the deep and pure bond these brothers share, and while Mario's way of showing his love for his little sibling is mostly protecting him (among other things), Luigi's way of doing so is mostly being by his brother's side, believing in him, supporting him no matter what, listening to him when Mario needs to vent... He's an AMAZING little brother and I LOVE how he openly shows that he loves his brother just as Mario does with him 🥹

And the same applies when it comes to his bravery and to his sassy side, for Luigi shows that he feels extremely comfortable around Mario, like he can totally and openly be himself, which he does in the scene that I mentioned with Spike. And also teasing Mario and being prone to physical touch with him as another way of showing his love 🤭

Also, the fact that he gets scared very easily also makes him relatable to me 🤭 Though I have to say, seeing the many dangerous situations these characters are exposed to in both games and movie, I personally think Luigi has the most normal and relatable reaction. I mean, I believe the first thing most of us would think of when seeing our lives threatened would be to run and get to safety, and then maybe try to come up with a plan or something.

Which is actually something Luigi is very good at! While Mario's reaction would be to jump into danger (and we love him for that), Luigi would rather get himself to safety first, trying his best to survive, and then find a strategy to deal with the problem. He's a think-first, act-later kind of man, unlike Mario, which is why the two balance each other so well. Those are their strengths and what make them work perfectly well as a team.

So this is it! I imagined this would get long, which is why I didn't get to answer yesterday when I saw the ask, and I'm sorry about that, but I really hope it was worth the wait, @luigi1o27632! 🥰

@vulpixfairy1985 @bberetd @itsavee4117 @keakruiser @kelbreyworshipper @peaches2217 and everyone who reads this: what do you think of all this? Is there anything you'd like to add? I may have forgotten about something, so feel free to share your thoughts! 🥰

To sum up: I may call Luigi "baby" sometimes when reblogging stuff or fangirling, but that's simply an affectionate nickname, since, as you can see, I know perfectly well he ain't no baby. He's strong and brave as well as cute and sweet (and very handsome too 🤭��), and I love every single side of him 😌💚✨

#luigi #luigi my beloved #super mario #super mario bros #luigi nintendo #mario and luigi #luigi cuteness #cute luigi #strong luigi #brave luigi #handsome luigi #luigi appreciation post #asks #asks answered #silenzahra

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icycoldninja · 3 hours

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Dating Sephiroth headcannons

-Sephiroth is the kind of person to ignore you completely at times, and at other times, scoop you into his arms and just hold you there without saying anything.

-He can be very cold and doesn't always tell you he loves you, but he does. Inside, he's the most devoted man on earth and will do absolutely anything for you, before and after his mental breakdown.

-Though he'll never say it outright, he loves you with all his heart; you are the dearest person in the world to him, the only woman he loves more is Jenova. If you asked him to kill for you, he most certainly would. You two but especially you are his goddesses.

-Takes the time to visit you multiple times a day, every day, even if nothing interesting happens. To him, nothing is more important than spending time with his beloved.

-Nicknames (which are rarely used) for you are: Princess, baby, darling, little dove, my love, and fluffpuff.

-Concerning the origin of "fluffpuff", it all began when he purchased a huge, extrmely fluffy baby chocobo onesie for you. Once you put it on, you might as well have been a walking blanket. It was so adorable, his heart melted and the nickname "fluffpuff" was born.

-Loves to do beauty days with you, especially after a long day at work. He's a big strong soldier man, but at the same time, a cute soft boy. He needs some pampering in his life, give it to him.

-Cuddling you is one of his favorite ways to de-stress. He loves to curl himself up around you and just sit there in silence, enjoying your company and relaxing. He also likes lying on your chest, arms wrapped around your waist, while you play with his hair.

-Poor boy gets frequent night terrors and needs a lot of comforting kisses after waking up in a terrified, cold sweat. He does get a bit cold and bristly after such events, so do be gentle. Wrap him up in your arms, kiss his cheeks, forehead, lips, all over, just make him feel loved.

-Sephiroth's like a scared cat most of the time; you need to be gentle and coax him out of his shell. Then he'll start opening up to you and confide in you--some of his secrets can be very dark, but getting them off his chest is a huge help to his mental health.

-Speaking of mental health, as we know, he's not exactly in his right mind. He can be unstable and a little violent, though he would never hurt you. He'd throw things, he'd break things, he'd yell and scream, but he'd never actually hurt you--a sign of how much he loves you.

-If you can mange to calm him down during his tantrums, he'll love you all the more. You are the most precious thing to him; anything you do for him is viewed as a blessing. ❤️

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thedragonsfate · 11 hours

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FHJY thoughts under the cut bc I gotta sort my brain and can't be succinct to save my life

I think there's something interesting in acknowledge like

of COURSE Kipperlily underestimated the bad kids.

She's hated these kids from day 1. I know a lot of people want to acknowledge that it's not unreasonable for Kipperlily and the rat grinders to think the school is run unfairly (and you're right! it's a fair conclusion)

-- but we also gotta consider that this is something that took root in her VERY EARLY. Before the bad kids got really very good. Two bad kids die on the first day of school, they spend a significant amount of their second semester freshman year just. In Prison.

Of course what follows I'm sure spurs that hatred, but she all but declared Riz to be her nemesis with Jawbone freshman year.

She's probably got some good ideas of how stuff should change, but also she saw this random Goblin boy with a briefcase in rogue class and decided she Hates Him, for a reason none of us can fathom when several of the other bad kids give off worst first impressiona

She's a teenager, a kid, with anger issues. As much as their can be important nuggets at the core of her motives, she's a teenager without emotional regulation skills. That combination is BUILT to breed resentment and feelings of entitlement. and it's built to actively ignore any evidence of a different perspective.

We talk about how she doesn't understand them, takes Kristen as entirely uncaring, doesn't expect the bad kids to do so well in the Last Stand

and OF COURSE she doesn't. some of this because she of course is not privy to all of the bad kids interactions that we are as an audience. but a lot of it is probably because she's a teenager who's decided she's being slighted and as a result is never going to take the bad kids actions on good faith. she's doubled down and while I have a feeling she's extremely perceptive, she's also in an emotional place that means she probably is ACTIVELY ignoring any evidence to the fact that maybe the bad kids are just ALSO working very hard, and that the school itself may also work against them sometimes.

Add to that a god corrupted into rage (negative in this case) and conquest, and a nefarious faculty member as a potentially directly manipulative adult in her life trying to make something big and destructive happen. Kipperlily strikes me as the kind of person who knows she's smart, and knows she's clever, but is so blinded by her emotion that she is probably missing some of whats clearly in front of her as far as all the Jace business goes. She certainly is about the bad kids.

Jawbone can only do so much to help her in her sessions if he's being actively worked against. Emotional regulation is hard to learn from zero AS AN ADULT and she's probably coming from the negatives if my impression is correct, and is doing so as a teenager.

I guess what I'm trying to say is like

In a vacuum? Sure augeforts comment about trying being stupid or whatever does seem like another slap in the face for Kipperlily, one that justifies some of her feelings.

But not about the bad kids. and not to the extent she has taken them.

And to take that at its word feels weird to me because. To anybody paying attention? The bad kids are and have been trying SO SO hard in class. Them having to take the last stand in the FIRST place is specifically because the school system is treating Kristen unfairly DESPITE her best, GOOD efforts. I'm certain the rat grinders are on some level aware of Gorgugs EXTREMELY uphill battle with schoolwork this season, even if it's just Maryann catching part of a convo with Porter or Ruben hearing about it from his uncle. I HIGHLY doubt that Oisin was oblivious to the way that Adaines academics were affected by her not having the money for the correct materials - she still was able to excel mostly but the effects of that roll being at disadvantage for so long are still THERE. Jawbone pinned down and mentioned to Riz his similarities to Kipperlily within maybe 2 seconds - there is 0% chance he hasn't brought something similar up in Kipperlilys sessions. She may not like it, she may not have the emotional intelligence to see it this way, but his efforts almost certainly mirror hers in a way that makes them equally hard workers, absolutely determined to keep themselves afloat despite it being an uphill battle. Something that she feels she deserves to be rewarded for, and to an extent implies that if just a few circumstances were different she would be able to see equal value in his work.

And sure you can say she may be able to see that and be angry that their work is rewarded and hers isn't, but we see time and time again that she and her party don't always put that same level of work in? Mary Ann at blood rush, absolutely uncaring but doing well specifically because she's got some magical enhancements. The suspicious circumstances of Kipperlily finding the Rogue teacher. Even just the natural advantage of Oisin having more than the funds he needs to excel in wizard class.

But even regardless of that, she seems to refuse to see that any scenario in which others are praised for the same thing she's done, while she is ignored etc, is the sole responsibility of the school here. the bad kids are not her enemies in that fight - augefort is. The bad kids are not going around being consistently given advantages from the school, they're earning the things they get and hitting their own academic road blocks, and they aren't acting better than other people in a way that goes beyond like. Teen stuff. And yet her sights are trained so unblinking on them.

I can see Fabian and Kristen's popularity and personalities coming off like it supports that they're being treated better or feel some superiority. And it's teen stuff to quietly hate those ppl at your school! it's p normal!

But it always brings me back to her SPECIFICALLY hating Riz. Bc Riz isn't a rich kid throwing parties that everyone loves. Hes not sniping out comebacks the way Kristen does, sometimes without even thinking. In a lot of ways he's the/one of the least abrasive of the group to an outsider. Which makes me SO much more inclined to call bullshit that this is truly, honestly rooted in an acknowledgement of any of the REAL problems that come up with their school system.

It's complex, but I feel like we can't exalt their perspective as a Truth of the world like it seems some folks do when these characters themselves do not play fairly. What is fair about the way they interfered with the exam. What is fair about what she did so easily to Buddy Dawn. What is fair about the murder of the couple that owned that farm. Depending on what happened - what is fair from them about Lucy's murder. Certainly what is fair about their hand in Yolandas.

This idea that things are unfair isn't untrue. But not in the ways she thinks, and shes moved so far beyond that notion at this point. Kipperlily probably DOES believe that she's uniquely a victim of this system, or at least that everyone but the bad kids is. But she's moved so far beyond that. Whatever divine rage magic is involved has ensured that, as well as probably some Adult manipulation, and severely underdeveloped emotional regulation skills. and for me that means like. obviously she is unjustified in her actions.

Augefort is absolutely unhinged. his school has never been run in a manner that rewards buckling down in the classroom and the classroom only. It's an adventuring school in truly the most chaotic and violence rewarding sense, and that information is given freely by Arthur augefort at maybe any turn

Saw something about the theoretical being just as important as the practical. and yes! absolutely! a very good point that I'm glad was brought up - going to the classes is important and I think this season has really emphasized the ways in which that's true at least in terms of Staying in School and Honing your Skills

I do think, in the same breath, that that STILL means that the practical is ALSO just as important as the theoretical. It CAN'T be one or the other, it HAS to be both.

and the bad kids are DOING both. regardless of what it may count for, the rat grinders xp leveling by continuing to do freshman level combat in order to excel more on paper ISN'T them really doing the practical part of what theyre learning in their higher level classes. And the bad kids do not get credit for their saving of the world REGARDLESS. Not on its own merit, and to get the credit they'd have to jump a hefty academic bar that sort of invalidates the point of practical efforts in the first place, not to mention works against students like Fig and Kristen.

The school is actively rewarding Kipperlily and her party's cheat code practical use of their skills, over the bad kids putting just as much if not more effort into their LITERALLY WORLD SAVING missions. whatever favoritism shes seeing, or that there may be occasionally, Kipperlily fundamentally takes the bad kids in bad faith. It's not ABOUT what is ACTUALLY unfair to her at this point.

from her perspective every accolade or accomplishment from them HAS to come from favoritism in order to fit how her view of whats actually unfair has been warped. for her it doesn't MATTER that they've been trying because they MUST not be trying as hard as she is. it doesn't matter that they visibly saved the world three times, one of which was livestreamed and included several party members dropping, successfully because surely it's a fluke, or they were given better opportunities than others for no reason, or they're being falsely worshipped for what MUST be a less dangerous quest than it seems (despite us seeing clearly on the first day of school that nobody is putting a pedestal up for their night yorb win)

What could have been a justified spark of frustration with a system has shifted into a vengeful sense of entitlement that to me? fully abandons the good of wanting to change a school system actively working against some (/all?) students.

idk maybe this all sounds like jibberish I just

Kipperlily in her current state is INCAPABLE of not underestimating the bad kids bc that would require some acknowledgement that they have worked and bled and died to reach the level they're at.

You cannot separate the girl who sneaks in to the Last Stand to sabotage another party's chances of passing, of staying at school, of continuing school, of one of them from potentially keeping their god alive, and of being brought back from what she assumes is certain death - from the slighted teenager running for class president to make things "more fair"

you cannot separate the girl who easily slits her own party clerics throat without second thought from the girl who thinks she's been slighted by an unjust system

What she means by unfair is inherently colored by her being that same person

Augefort can say whatever nonsense he wants, and it doesn't really justify her current frustrations at this point because her version of fair is fundamentally unfair now.

Shes a child who's become corrupted, just like Buddy. but unlike him - she's become genuinely nefarious and vengeful. Unlike buddy she is actively plotting. Harming others with full knowledge of it. We don't know how much of it comes from her on her own, or the rage baking underground, or Stardiamonds direct involvement - but I think this most recent episode should make it clear that like

Whatever truth there is to the school being run in a way that is unfair to its students, and regardless of what she says or thinks

Kipperlily Copperkettle is not operating from that grounded perspective. and I don't think she has been for a long time

#fhjy #kipperlilly copperkettle #thats all I'm gonna tag #anyway hopefully you can tell that I'm not like. pro everything at augefort #we've seen so clearly teachers / faculty / rules / lack of rules work against the students #ESPECIALLY we've seen how that's effected the bad kids #but Kipperlily is not. on that page anymore.#I won't call her names that's just not how I feel abt.her as a character #I do think a lot of this may still just b EXTREMELY misguided #and ALSO #you're responsible for your actions #thrilled that she is / was??? in some form of therapy #devastated that whatever is going on here big picture has completely warped her perspective #to see her actions as the viable option for her to reach her goals #also this is SO rambling and opinionated I'm down to agree to disagree I'm just #I just needed to vent some abt it and like #explore KLCKs character a little bit #welcome to ignore but I am gonna tag it a LITTLE in case someone wants to chat abt this #long post

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hella1975 · 11 months

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you ever have a fic get you in such a chokehold you start pacing your room and talking to yourself

#THIS FIC WAS WRITTEN FOR ME SPECIFICALLY #BURN IT ALL DOWN BY DOROTHYCANFLY ON AO3 THIS IS GENUINELY ONE OF MY TOP 5 FICS OF ALL TIME EVER #IT'S GOT THE BEST DABI CHARACTERISATION IVE EVER COME ACROSS IT'S GOT REALLY WELL WRITTEN DABIHAWKS #THAT FITS BOTH OF THEM LIKE THEY'RE MEAN AS HELL ABOUT IT AT FIRST #IT'S GOT STUPIDLY DEVOTED TOUYA-SHOUTO IT'S GOT PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER TOUYA #IT'S GOT MENTAL ANGST WRITTEN LIKE A DREAM THE WRITING IN GENERAL IS INSANE #IT'S ACTION PACKED BUT DONE WELL SO THAT IT'S NOT TEDIOUS IT'S FUNNY IT'S GOT TWISTS #IT'S KEEPING ME ON MY TOES I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING OR HOW FAR THE AUTHOR IS WILLING TO GO #IVE LITERALLY READ 300K WORDS IN TWO DAYS AT THIS POINT LIKE I AM ABSOLUTELY FINISHING THIS TONIGHT #WHAT THE FUCK EVEN AM I GONNA DO WITH MYSELF AFTER THIS #EVERY NEW THING THAT HAPPENS LITERALLY HAS ME GETTING UP TO PACE ABOUT #I CLOCKED OUT OF MY MUM TELLING ME OFF EARLIER BC I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC #DO U KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS BASO JUST SIGNED MY DEATH WARRANT BUT I DIDNT CARE #losing my goddamn mind respectfully <3 if anyone has read this pls yell with me about it #and if anyone knows mha and wants a fic rec PLEASE let it be this one it's my fav mha fic ever and ive read A LOT #it gets quite smutty in the middle but if that's not ur thing the author tws very well and u can kinda just scroll #so that u still get the important character developments without it being just pure smut lol #god this FIC. holding it in my fucking fist and squeezing the everloving life out of it im going INSANE #i cant remember the last time a fic got me this way im literally giggling about it all #HE FOUND A REASON TO LIVE AGAIN THEY TOOK THIS MANGLED BLOODY BOY AND SAID WE LOVE YOU #YOU ARE GOOD YOU CAN STAY YOU CAN REST NOW WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND HE CHOSE THEM! HE CHOSE THEM!#OVER HIS REVENGE AND HIS RAGE HE CHOSE THEM! IM GOING TO BE VIOLENTLY SICK #like the author LETS DABI BE A CUNT. the first chunk of the fic he's actively not a good person #and his coping mechanisms are shot to shit and we WATCH HIM GROW FROM THAT i have cried several times over the most mundane shit #goddddddddDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAKSJFJKAGSFIUAHGJKAKG #mha #fic rec

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guruguruguruguru · 3 months

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the longer i sit with it the more it really gets me how nobody ever really mentions obito and rin before obito's reveal in shippuden. kakashi vaguely mentions his old friends and i think other characters allude to the tragedy of kakashi's past but rin and obito themselves are lost to time. something about that is so fucking haunting and so gutting. you would think it would be a pretty big deal that two kids from the same class died within a year of each other, but the nine tails attack probably wiped so much clean that nobody could really carry the grief... still, when we see their class in flashbacks, we recognise almost everyone else, so... there's something really sad and hopeless about their absence...

there's a lot a LOT to say about it from a lot of different angles and i don't really feel like going into meta posting territory i just have big feelings about it you know? and to me i guess obito encapsulates a lot of the anger. for the people who get left behind and forgotten. and that can mean a lot of things

#two of my classmates died on separate occassions in short span of time in high school and i wont claim that grief because #i didnt know either of them well but i did feel a lot of anger and overwhelming hopelessness. that life keeps relentlessly going on #even when people get left behind #it feels so unfair and so painful... there are so many more aspects to it though as well #like people who are left behind in other ways due to circumstance or class or race or etc etc- often a combination of those factors #and obito as a kid reminds me a lot of a good friend i had when i was little who was late to class every day #because of those outside circumstances #and again someone in high school who i was late WITH every day. because ya #and i feel very big about that. and about rins death as something so fucking preventable #the tragedy also of baby teacher minato who was so so not ready to be in charge of anyone. but. that's something else #anyway i guess i just really feel a connection with that anger and despair #sorru was watching niji and felt fucking insane about it #obito and rin are like two sides of one thing. maybe of one person. of one concept #part of why i'm so so crazy about obito being trans is because i see him as also using rin's memory as a conduit for #his anger and grief about his own lost younger self. hence: baby obito is also a little girl #i think they are best friends. its so important. idk none of this is wider narrative meta #its just my feelings about them in particular #haunting dead girl and the ghost who has to carry on and can't rest

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itheume · 8 months

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i'm still doing art dw about the gap between this thing and the last thing i posted tee hee lmao

#arting #( not at a very post-y part of my life rn #4 those of you who witnessed the Two Year Gap where i just Didn't Post some years ago then expect the same thing for a bit #clutching onto labor day like it's a bastion of hope like ;; soon ;;;; soon i will have a little bit of time to myself )#( this was a quick coloring style test by the way. didn't like the style enough to do something big / important with it #but i do think i'll use it for just. general drawings ;; sai2 water fringe effect u are my best friend sometimes did u know this )#( hmm ;; actually now that i look at it ;;;; ;; i should have figured out something different for the fringe #maybe erased some of it ;; or lined it in a lighter color ;;;; putting a pin in that like ok back 2 work with me #ben if ur reading this hi hello i'll get back to u soon bro stay cool )

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sableeira · 9 months

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why can’t I be unconditionally happy for once in my goddamn life why do I always have to be cursed with hardware malfunction or data loss a week before any given deadline

#okay always is exaggerated but I had hardware malfunction last year for the final week of group work on a big project #and now the most important files of my bachelor project are damaged #if I don’t see a recent backup on my computer at uni tomorrow I’m gonna strangle my past self #already strangling my past self for being too lazy to set up git for my cleaned up project #this could have been prevented so easily but I continue to be a dumbass #otherwise life is going great!! like literally hadn’t been this happy in a while!!#that’s probably why this happened tho because I’m not allowed to catch a break #sina’s rambling #uni tag #<- for the last time hopefully…#gonna be so happy when I can get back to my wip drawings #been thinking about them way too much lately #also new chapter soon I’m very excited #and tachi’s big day part 2 on wednesday ^_^#delete later #or tomorrow morning I’m going to bed now because there is nothing I can do today to fix this

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ii-zi · 5 months

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i want a nice big house. a garden with trees, creeping thyme as a ground cover, and flowers. a nice big catio. tons of storage. a living room. proper trashcans. my own bedroom. well planned windows for proper ventilation. solar panels. roof access to see the stars. well planned water system so we have fresh water available in summer and warm in winter without spending thousands a month. outdoors lighting. a backyard door. a fence. enough space to steal my baby and my grandma and give them the life they deserve. a desk. space to build whatever the fuck i want. house decor. proper doors. less stubby ceiling heights.

#but no moneys..#my bby misses my grandma a lot #it'd be the greatest thing ever if i could somehow make it so we live together w grandma and my parents #bc my parents were also like super important to the bby growing up bby cant talk abt them or to them without all three of them crying #but i live w my parents n sister in a 1bed lol i can only hope to one day get a job that'd help me save enough to like #repair the house n make a second floor n when the time comes convince the bbs parents that college in Mexico is the way to go #personal #if my calculations r right id need to work a very veery well paying job in local standards (40h/w for like 175dlls/w) til college is #imminent (like a year before the baby has to go..) in order to have enough for a second floor w low end finishings #but for that I'd have to sort my own troubles lol #i want bougainvillea n an orange tree..#a few basil bushes bc they smell so nice and grow so well n big here #both my gma n the baby are so good at growing plants! it never failed to amaze me how they could bring back to life what was #basically already dead

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy

#Yakzua loveblog #im just talking to myself you guys dont need to read anything #in fact dont read this im going to talk about transphobic nishiki again anyway #my transphobic nishiki hc is the most important one to me because. like we all need to have some transphobic people in our lives #i do think that nishiki calls him ‘kiryu’ even though theyre best friends forever because when nishiki will always accidentally say his #deadname instead of ‘kazuma’ even though i know that nishiki is literally the one who gave him the name kazuma to make fun of kiryu for #thinking hes a boy and it just kind of stuck but nishiki eventually stuck. with calling him kiryu because thats how he prefers to be called #they are bestfriends for a reason .... and nishiki is the only one kiryu will let be transphobic towards him because theyve known each other #for forever and he knows he means no harm by it like he will still hit him but nishiki takes it in stride because its their thing and its #never not funny to make kiryu annoyed like for anyone else its an uncrossable line but once a month nishiki will lead kiryu into the womens #section to shop for new clothes and kiryus like Somehow i always knew you wore womens jeans and nishikis like HEY !!!!#but as kids they were always very cute because theyre always together and you can never really tell whos following who because it seems like #theyre on the same wavelength until nishiki realises that life is so much easier when youre working smart so he went to work on his INT stat #while kiryu never stopped being a wild animal like hes literally some sort of monkey to me sorry for dehumanising him because of his autism #like i adore his ‘own little bubble’ way of life as long as he’s physically okay kiryus not going to complain about anything. like when he #said ‘i decide to do things based on whether i love it or hate it’ im like Yeah i bet you do. he sits outside the orphanage all day playing #with rocks until nishiki comes finds him then they both go outside to smash open windows with the rocks kiryu has gathered and kiryus in his #little skirt and he always uses it to carry things in you know how it is and he stopped going to school to be a bigger menace than everyone #anyway did i mention that the universe loves kiryu. especially his genes he was very lucky because he never had a big chest or nothing he #was always going to get tall and thick in the shoulders and beefy and when he cut his hair it just sealed the deal he passed with flying #colours like young children are indistinguishable by gender unless they have a big pink bow in their hair but kiryu radiated masculinity #from a young age and his aggressive way of life didnt help. well it helped a lot actually. a lot of people were scared of him and nishikis #like dont be scared of kiryu shes nice when you get to know her and everyones like ?? thats a girl ???#in fact it made more sense for kiryu to be a boy at that point so he went to kazama and told him and kazama was like ok lets make it happen #like kiryu and nishiki are so special because there is nobody in the universe more transphobic to kiryu than his own brother but also nishik #was the one helping kiryu shop for boy clothes when he was clueless about it like hes not stupid but he really doesnt know about fashion and #he trusts nishiki to not make him look stupid and nishiki is of course like 😏 well well well youre having a girl moment arent you #nishiki is okay with kiryu being a guy because this means that now whenever kiryu hits him he can fight back without being misogynistic #okay im done talking my noodles are getting cold but kiryu as a kid would have been a veritable nightmare #oh yeah my trans beam extended to nishitani as well because just look at him. everybody majima wants to sex is trans

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robotwrangler · 2 years

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Thinking about how the lovely person on deviantart who emailed me a copy of Undertale in exchange for a sketch of their oc when I was 15 will never know about the profound effect they had on my life..

#it’s a long story but tldr if not for Undertale I would’ve never heard of Yes Man and without Yes Man I literally wouldn’t be alive rn #I’m sure ive told this story on here before but I like it bc it is important to me #the Undertale to Yes Man pipeline is a very specific thing that happened to me involving 2 different joke blogs on here #there was ‘youcantfuckaskeleton’ (blog abt how nobody should want sans Undertale carnally)#and then I found their other blog ‘youcanfuckarobot’ (blog about. well. I’m sure you get the picture) and I went there for Mettaton posts #but they had some posts there with Yes Man and I was like. that is the most nice looking robot I’ve seen in my life. who is this #and then I forgot abt it for like 3 years and forgot to look him up. UNTIL #DELTARUNE CHAPTER 1.. in 2018.. drove me to revisit those joke blogs for nostalgia #and I saw the yes man pics again and this time I got WAY more curious. I was so so intrigued by him he looked so interesting and cute #so I looked him up and looked at lots of art of him and read his wiki page and I was like. I NEED to meet him #so my big brother got me new vegas as a present on new years and on january 3 2019 I met yes man!#and. I have never understood why or how. but when I woke up the next day my depression was fucking gone #I had severe untreated depression and it just dissolved overnight #nothing else notable happened around that time except for meeting yes man and becoming smitten with him so it seems that’s what did it??#also those joke blogs are still around I think. i like to revisit them occasionally for the nostalgia of seeing yes man for the first time #but yea anyway what I’m saying is this nice person on deviantart indirectly saved my life #my depression also never came back btw. obviously I feel sad sometimes like anyone but I have not been depressed since then #would’ve been nice if my anxiety went away too but I can at least live with that tbh!!#um anyway I’m sleepy so ending these tags. if you read all of this I love you thank you for caring

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pepprs · 1 year

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i guess im starting a tradition of double ventposting lol but the last thing i’llsay (maybe) is like… all of that has a caveat which is that my emotional object permanence has been absolutely OBLITERATED by 3 yrs of covid hell and it is really doing a number on me. clearly

#purrs #this manifests in how not normal i am abt reading / responding to messages btw ♥️ i love depriving myself of evidence that i am loved #also somewhat relatedly (and i may have already said this but): covid also destroyed something that has always already been hard for me whi #which (ironically given how important it is to the work I do) foresight. i was not su*cidal growing up but i simply couldn’t imagine what li #life would be like after high school. it felt like the show was supposed to be over on graduation day. and everything that’s happened since #then has seemed a little fake to me… and then covid happened and it felt even more fake… and now i graduated college and WORK THERE full #time. and it’s like.. at any given moment i am about 30-40% convinced that the things that are happening to me aren’t actually real or that #they’re not supposed to be happening bc the show ended on may 30 2017. and i don’t think that’s a healthy way to experience the world lol #unreality tw #ask to tag #like ofc my day to day life is real and the week to week stuff is real. but there’s some twilight zone-ness to it. like its happening to #someone else who looks exactly like me butim in her body and not mine and not controlling anything. idk. that’s not the right metaphor its h #hard to explain and im so sleepy. but the best way i can describe it which i keep doing is like a tv show that should be over by now but is #dragging on fro some reason. like we never finished watching it but it’s like the office continuing after michael Scott left. it’s just #weird and wrong and fake and doesn’t feel real. and the fact that it actually is real but i feel that way is a very big problem

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chewwytwee · 1 year

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#.txt #this isnt a vent but like #its gonna be a thought dump about some stuff so yeah youre in for mental illness if you read further #not to be super down on myself cuz this really isnt a big deal #but im realizing more and more that im like a really high strung person. I take everything really seriously and i dont rlly know if thats a #good thing #like I have a hard time just having hobbies. like piano isnt a hobby for me at least not anymore im way too serious about piano for it to #be a hobby #that doesnt mean i dont enjoy it piano is the single most important thing in my life right now and i care about it more than anything #but like.#its not a hobby #and so i think this like... intensity on my 'hobbies' seeps into a lot of other areas of my life #and in rlly small ways too.#I find it very very hard to pick up new hobbies. I dont want to if i dont have the capacity to learn it very well #and i dont even have to BE good at it. But I want to have the skills and the tools TO be good at it #like what I mean when I say that is like... I deadass dont believe that if you just do a thing everyday you'll end up being really good at #it #if I just sat down at the piano and just played whatever for 2 hours a day #I would suck ass. Like I would be so bad at the piano rn #the reason Ive gotten so much better recently is that I do the exact opposite #I control VERY heavily what I practice and how I practice it. its self discipline #and its all those underpinnings of how I interact with art and the implicit goals I hold while I do it #because like the issue with what I said. Is who cares?#like who gives a shit if youre really good at something #who cares if you arent well rounded who cares #idk #but i do #i care a fucking lot like i care a lot a lot a lot #and so like. I try not to as often as possible and for the most part i do. but I apply this lens to others too #I feel like everyone has to be pursuing a really wide and refined skillset in whatever they do

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micer2012 · 5 months

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a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism

Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.

My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)

This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)

And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.

And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand.

In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.

That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with,

“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”

I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.

I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!).

Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.

If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading!

Sincerely, a tumblr user.

#exiavojtmmc #hermitcraft #matpat #gt #game theory #hc #mcyt #evil xisuma #hbomberguy #plagiarism #james somerton #jeff the minion #mine #micer2012 #hcs9

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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 11 months

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You don’t understand, when I was at my worst with my depression, and every time I looked up at the night sky and grew scared of how small we are, how alone we might be, how short our time is, how I couldn’t comprehend infinity, how everything will end eventually, how everything I see way out there is long gone, I would panic. I would break down. The stars themselves scared me. But one day doctor who was put on Netflix and a comment on a deviant post reminded me of a deal I made with another user. If I watch doctor who they’ll watch the time travel show I thought was cool. I watched it on a whim, I’m not sure I’d even encountered it much on tumblr yet. But it made me feel less small. I began to actually look at the night sky without abject terror. I thought about how if you looked at it more like, idk, a learning adventure? When you heard new things about it, it wasn’t as scary. Something that could inspire writers to create such adventures and have normal people characters tag along… I got less scared. When everything started being galaxy print I thought it was pretty and not horrifying. It’s long been a trendy pattern of the last decade or so, perhaps a bit less, but I still see cool looking art inspired by images from space telescopes that were made to have different colors for invisible wavelengths so that humans could see… idk. It makes me happy. It’s like I’m less scared, and now I don’t even feel like I need there to be life on other planets for me to stop feeling alone, because there is so much life on this one! Even if I was the only human on earth, I still wouldn’t be alone just from being on this life filled planet. And I’m not the only human.

That’s not an experience I’ve had from many stories, it was one of those things that you encounter at just the right time for your view of the world to be changed for the better. Something that lodges itself inside of you and makes you better than you were before. I’ll always remember it fondly because of that. I know there is a lot I never watched and maybe one day I’ll catch up, but the fact is that what I DID see was enough to change me as a person. To make my existential dread just a little bit less all encompassing and inspire more curiosity in me.

#emma posts #definitely not an experience I had with the other parts of ‘superwholock’ back in the day #and I actually watched those two because people in the doctor who fandom were talking about them a lot #definitely got more out of doctor who than either of those in the long run #I did make friends through the other fandoms though #i just don’t look back at the other two fondly in any way even remotely like this #I was a very cringe teen. I did get into all three because I was on tumblr and liked doctor who #plenty of us here been there #this one was just different #it’s not the ONLY media that made my life better #but the others that come to mind don’t really have notorious or even big fandoms #one of them was just me and four other kids hanging out on deviantart in 2010 or 11 #very different atmosphere #but important to me nonetheless #I kinda feel like it gets an unfairly cheongsam label just for its proximity to the other two #I’m not saying it’s a masterpiece but I am saying it more fun and iconic #I could go on but I should really try going to sleep now #long post #unfairly cringe I mean. wtf did spellcheck do to that tag?#just me doing my randomly promoted rambling about how doctor who made my life better #I think the last time I did this was at least a year ago

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