god i wish they hadn't retconned maul's death. i get wanting to explore more of his character because he was, objectively, one of the coolest star wars characters to ever hit the big screen and didn't get much screentime prior to his death, but also his role was fulfilled perfectly within those constraints so i wasn't too upset by it.
but by retconning it and making it so he never died it's like. okay. what now? the whole point (well, to me, ymmv of course) of the theed generator fight was that it was the first ever fight between the jedi and the sith in thousands of years, and that in the end even though the jedi (obi-wan) won the fight, a jedi (qui-gon) and a sith (maul) still died. a master and an apprentice dying together to herald the start of a new age/the return of the sith. perfectly paralleling the way in rotj a master (palps) and an apprentice (anakin/vader) died together to herald the return of the jedi. in both instances, a father figure (qui-gon/vader) dies in the arms of their son (obi-wan/luke) as a sith (palps/maul) is cast down into the abyss to their deaths. (palps being alive in the ST and retconning his death in rotj is also annoying for this reason)
i mean i like maul. don't get me wrong. he's an incredibly compelling character and i enjoy seeing more of him... but there's always the thought hovering in my mind like "he should be dead though. he should 100% be dead. this wouldn't be happening if he was dead, but i honestly would rather it not if it meant that maul was dead."
like the tpm fight just doesn't hit the same knowing that canonically he's just. going to become a robot octopus at some point. (shoutout to palps becoming sith glados in the ST) it cheapens the moment for me. it was supposed to be a moment of triumph marred by the deep and soul-crushing loss of a loved one and it's just... not, anymore. or at least not to the same extent. AUGH i'm just. frustrated. wish star wars as a whole wasn't constantly reframing/retconning what's been established. just puts a bad taste in my mouth.
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You Never Cared (Enough)
This.
This is the moment, I think, where Porsche finally admits to himself he wants Kinn.
Because Porsche isn’t really arguing against Kinn’s point here.
Kinn does care about his people - we’ll see very clear examples of that later in the series (when he’s grieving for Big and Erica, when he saves Pol and Pete during the shootout, etc.), and Porsche has concrete proof that Kinn cares just as much about him -
But Porsche doesn’t want Kinn to see him as an employee - a responsibility. He doesn’t even want to be seen as a friend.
He wants Kinn to admit that being with Porsche meant something… different. That he didn’t just use Porsche, to get it out of his system, when he was an easy target.
Because it was different for Porsche.
As far as we know, the end of episode 4 was the first time Porsche had sex with a man, the first time he’d had sex after being drugged, and… the first time he’d had sex with someone he really liked. Someone he’d been starting to get to know, who irritated and intrigued him all at once, instead of just a one-time fling.
And he barely got any time to process all of that - his sexuality, his autonomy, his feelings - before Kinn shut down, put more distance between them than ever before, and became cruel -
So it’s only now, after getting time away to get back to who he was - in his own house, spending time with his brother and friends - that Porsche has finally worked out just why he’s so hurt by Kinn.
That, despite everything, he doesn't want to be just one of Kinn's people.
He wants Kinn to care more about him.
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hi yeah so to this day i’m still thinking about the direct aftermath of the betrayal. about how we still don’t know exactly what happened - maybe the movie will give us some backstory! obviously we know the long-term effects of it, but what happened directly after the button was pushed? like did ambrosius realize what he’d done at first? was there instant horror and regret the moment it happened? or did it take a moment to register that he’d blown off ballister’s arm?
and how long did it take ambrosius to realize that the worst mistake of his life had been by design, planned all along? how long before he realized it was never really his fault, but rather the director’s? was it right after he’d stood up in the arena only to find that ballister was still on the ground, or was it a slow reconciliation with the truth that stretched across years?
and about the feud/breakup itself, too - how much of it was pushed by the director and the news, and how much was it ballister himself, rightly angry that he’d been betrayed? how many times did ambrosius try to tell ballister it was an accident before it became clear ballister didn’t believe him, and how many times after that was he just repeating himself over and over? did he ever mention that he’d tried to help, that he’d seen the spreading pool of blood and tried to rush over, only to be held back? did anybody ever find out that beneath the triumphant, untouchable king’s champion was a scared and bitter young knight, forever regretting something that was out of his control from the very beginning? that the price of his victory was so, so much higher than a broken lance and an arm?
what would it feel like, i wonder, to be a golden boy on a pedestal, exalted as a hero but despised by the person who mattered most to you? to be rewarded with fame and glory and a statue in the town square for something you never even meant to do, something that ruined everything? to be celebrated for the worst thing you ever did, crowned king’s champion and gilded in the eyes of the whole kingdom but knowing their approval means nothing compared to the love of the person you’d hurt, someone you’ll probably never get back again because why would you after what you’d done? to get everything you’d ever thought you wanted, at the expense of the one person who mattered most?
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Becca, please I need more ex husband! Bucky I can't get him out of my head!!!
Aw no bc I'm drawing inspiration from one line in something I re-read this morning that was an original piece written by a cutie bc it would fit this so nicely 🥵
Like maybe you and Bucky both move on and get remarried but there are still those desperate, needy hookups because no matter how hard you try, you can't stay away from each other.
They'd be awfully intimate though, his plump, wet lips trailing up your neck, latching onto your earlobe, allowing his teeth to sink into the soft flesh just a little. You can hear every little pant and groan from him like this, enjoying every sound you coax out of him.
"Fuck, nothing feels as good as you do, sweetheart." He groans, giving you slow leisurely thrusts, enjoying the way your body envelops him so entirely.
He's blissed out and you've only started but there's an addictive familiarity that you offer him. He can't have sex like this with her. Purely because she's just not you.
"You missed this as much as I did?" You tease, curling your fingers in the short, dark hair at the back of his head, tugging his mouth down more insistently against your skin. He knows exactly what you need, grunting in pleasure while he licks a gentle strip up your neck. He only faintly recognises that you're still wearing the same perfume you used to wear. The one that's so distinctly you. The one that used to make his heart soar because smelling it meant that the love of his life was nearby.
"I missed it more, I can promise you that." You know he's not exaggerating. Just by the way he's touching you, you can tell he's needed this more than he should admit. "She's not you."
It's an awfully simple admission but the weight behind it is staggering.
"I know what you mean. He's not you." You know you mean that with your entire heart and it's so damn wrong to compare your new husband to your ex-husband but it's hard not to.
"I'll always be yours, you know that? Fuckin' ruined me for anyone else." He tries to ease the tension with a half laugh but it doesn't help. It's a lot of weight to add to a casual affair but it feels so right with him.
"And I'm gonna keep ruining you, Buck." You're desperately trying to shift the mood, making sure you both avoid saying something you'll regret. Before he knows it, you've manoeuvred him so he's flat on his back, his cock back inside you and his hands on your hips to help you grind yourself on him.
"I'll let you ruin me any time, bunny. Just say the word." He has that lazy, half smirk on his face, watching how you fuck yourself on him. You're right where you belong, on top of him, stuffed full of his dick, taking what you need.
Your hand trails over your own body, teasing yourself, putting on a show for him and slipping into the moment and he can't help but notice your ring finger is bare. You've taken your new wedding ring off and for the time being, it almost feels like you're his again.
"That's it, use me. You feel like a dream. We shouldn't need this the way we do. God, this is wrong." He can't tear his eyes away from where your bodies are joined, knowing how much you love being on top. "You have any idea how much I love seeing you fill that slutty, desperate little married pussy with my dick? 'M right where I should be. Buried so deep inside my little slut. Guess some things never change."
The change of pace is so welcome, straying away from feelings and into safer, filthier territory.
"That's it, that little cunt only ever flutters like that for me. I still own it, don't I?" He knows he shouldn't be into this but he is. And so are you.
You reply with a breathy "yes", feeling your body tighten around him and deep down you know you've never belonged to anyone else.
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