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#this is about the mechanisms but its happened to me so many times
bonnie-bug · 2 years
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made the mistake of watching one of those fake emergency broadcast videos on youtube (specifically one based in quebec where a good chunk of the world was rapidly covered in 14+ meters of snow in the middle of summer) and even tho it wasn’t supernatural spooky scary it hasnt left my fuckin head and now i cant stop thinking “what if something like that happens. what if there’s a demon attack. what if there’s some kind of creature in ur hallway right now. what if a fuckin scp was real and your only warning was an emergency broadcast just like that”
I dont even believe this kind of shit is real WHY is my brain so fuckin paranoid about supernatural shit. lowkey it happens every night but it’s always worse when I watch something even slightly supernatural horror adjacent. why. I only even watched the stupid video BECAUSE it wasnt a creature/scp/supernatural horror based one and I thought I’d be fine :(
#I’ve always had anxiety around alert noises tho :/ my mom was paranoid abt storms and so had a weather alert radio when I was a kid#and since she was always afraid of bad storms that made ME scared and I dreaded every time I heard that radio go off#and it’s the automatic alert sound for so many emergency broadcasts it still gives me an anxiety spike to this day#so maybe that has something to do with it. but why also spooky horror creatures.#it’s never normal shit like ‘’what if a guy broke into our house’’ or anything no it’s always a fuckin demon or something#I should be clear here and say these paranoia. things never actually tip me into an anxiety or panic attack or anything dont worry#but. it IS annoying. and I’m so tired of it. and I’ve come up with coping mechanisms but idk how to make them Stop#bc just saying ‘’bro it’s not real’’ does nothing bc i KNOW its not. but they still keep happening#would these count as some kind of intrusive thought. bc it definitely causes me distress but it’s not like. the harmful idea kind#and idk what the nuance is and what actually counts as an intrusive thought and not just Brains Thinking Shit#And Sometimes That Shit Is Distressing#idk. I’m procrastinating getting my water from the living room bc a lot of my Bad Thoughts are centered around that hallway/living room area#maybe I’ll just turn on the light or something. I dont want to make my dad get my water for me#bc ‘’I watched a slightly spooky video this afternoon and now my brain is convinced demons will kill me’’ is a hard thing to explain#I mean he’d be nice about it and get my water I’m sure but I also dont want him to worry abt me kdbdbdkd#ok. I’ll turn on lights and go. and hopefully I can actually sleep tonight kdbdbdk#I’m not sticking this in my post tag bc I dont want to find it again and trigger another paranoia night lmao
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The fun thing about having my own car for as long as I've had a full license is that when my dad does not have a car (which is often) he has to ask to borrow mine
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jadeneppy · 1 year
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Hmmmm
#i really miss playin sky but im so behind and beleeeeh#I MISS DAU AND LERA SMMMM#idk what the new season is and i dont wanna spend money for the cosmetics even tho i REAAAALYY want em#grinding for 20 candles took 3 hours for me last time and i just dont have that free time anymore :(#xzzt#i miss playin with all my sky friends i also dont even wanna THINK about goin through eden with the new mechanic#LIKE YOU CANT EVEN HONK TO REVIVE OTHERS???#but anyway its in vent tag so might as well vent a bit#still kinda lonely and i wanna cuddle some 1 :(((#all i can think about is cuddling and kissing and i wanna be with someone who can make me feel warm n fuzzy again#i miss being in love so much#maybe it was infatuation but i really thought i did love them for 7 years it was the happiest time for me#all i would do was gush about how much i loved em and how i wantrd to grow old and live together and how we'd decorate the house#how many pets ect#but then shit eith w*ndy happened and my world crashed for the first time and bleh ough#i dont think we ever recovered from that like i honestly wanted to end myself after that and i finally went on anti dependents#tho they burned my throat so much and made me feel numb i took em everyday and acted like they helped but they really didn't#hm hm this should really go on my vent blog if it gets any deeper so#hm ig i just wanna be loved and held and cherished like when i was over there#us crying the day before i had to leave will always be in my memories#i was so fuckin sad when i had to leave but i didnt wanna wake em up cuz i knew theyd cry again and id cry too so i just kissed their cheek#but yeah i think that was the last time i saw em irl#:neppyflop: god those were good times tho#bleh i think i should sleep before i trigger myself
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melobin · 3 months
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જ⁀➴ nuts and bolts 𐙚 sungchan
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part of the riize as porn plots series.
summary - your car has been acting up all week so you finally decide to take it to the garage after work, lucky for you there’s only one person there and you’re his last customer of the day.
wc - 4.3k
warnings - mechanic!sungchan x customer!femalereader, dom sungchan, strength kink, size kink, choking, unprotected sex, rough sex, praise, hair pulling, biting, finger sucking, manhandling, face fucking, oral sex f and m receiving, cum eating, heavy use of good girl
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
the garage was colder than you expected, even with the shutter door down there was still a chill in the air. you guessed that’s what you got for taking your car to be fixed so late into the evening. there wasn’t many garages that stayed open past five pm, you were lucky to have found the one you did. extra mile, it was a privately owned business, the only one of its kind, so its hours were a little more flexible than the big branded ones. it’s slogan was something along the lines of, we will always go the extra mile for you, so you hoped you weren’t about to be scammed.
when you called up a man answered, he sounded young, he told you that they stayed open till late and that he had no one else booked in for the evening so you could come in whenever. when you got there, you assumed the same man that answered the phone had also let you in, he closed the shutter door behind you once you parked your car inside of the garage. 
“thank you for seeing me so late” you spoke as you got out of your car, seven pm wasn’t the ideal time for anyone to be working so you were thankful. 
“of course, what kind of gentleman would i be if i didn’t help a lady in need?” you finally looked up at him once he spoke, you weren’t sure what kind of man you were expecting to see but it wasn’t that “i’m sungchan” you smiled at him, introducing yourself back before taking a proper look at him. sungchan was gorgeous, from head to toe. his eyes sparkled as he looked at you, a soft smile gracing his pretty face. soft brown hair styled messily, he’s probably been running his fingers through it all day, he also happened to be insanely tall.
you did wish you didn’t look further down his body though, he must’ve had a long day. his overalls were tied around his hips leaving his upper half only clad by a thin, dirty, white tank top. it stuck to his body, you weren’t sure if it was just that tight or if it was from the sweat that had accumulated against his skin, but either way it fit him perfectly. a little too perfectly, you could see the ridges of his abs through the material and it was hard to miss the way it creased between his pecs. letting your eyes flick to his arms was your downfall, sweat caused them to glisten under the dull lights of the room. they were thick, muscly, they bulged due to the way he had his arms crossed in front of his chest.
sungchan was delicious, in every way. although sitting in a cold garage waiting for your car to be fixed wasn’t your ideal way of spending your evening after a long day at work, you were not about to complain about being left alone with sungchan for a few hours. you noticed the way the corner of his lip twitched from a smile into a subtle smirk once you let your eyes wander back to his face, you knew he’d caught you checking him out but it didn’t phase you; with how he looked, he must’ve had women falling to their feet for him all day long. 
“so what seems to be the problem, sweetheart?” sungchan’s head gently tilted to one side, the same sweet smile from before returning to his lips. you tried to ignore the way the pet name made you feel, even though you were sure it was normal to feel nervous over an attractive man calling you sweetheart.
“well” you thought for a moment, realising you didn’t actually know how to explain the problem “there’s been this clicking sound coming from the engine when i’m driving, my friend said it would be good to come and get it checked out”
“has it been going on for long?”
“about a week now, i just haven’t had time to get it checked because all the garages tend to be shut by the time i finish work” sungchan nodded.
“i see, may i have you keys so i can take a look please?” you handed him your keys, trying to ignore the way his veins popped out in the back of his hand when he wrapped his fingers around your keys “you can take a seat in the desk chair over there, no one else is here so you’re okay to stay whilst i work on your car” 
“thank you again sungchan” you sat down on the chair that was in front of the small desk just a little away from him, it looked like their reception, or well, what could be seen as a a reception in the small space that wasn’t taken by the car, their own interpretation of one perhaps. there was a laptop on the metal desk, the initial on the screen said s.e, you cursed yourself for being so nosy but you couldn’t help it. “i know it’s not ideal to be working so late” you looked back over at the man who had now popped open the hood of your car.
“it’s no problem” sungchan’s arms flexed as he lifted the bonnet up. you felt both your stomach churn and your mouth water at the site, there was no way you were going to be able to keep sane “my friend eunseok owns the place, it’s just me and him who work here. you sounded desperate when you called so i thought i’d stay behind to help you whilst he went home” eunseok must be s.e, you thought.
“small business?” sungchan laughed, hands working on something near the engine of your car as he looked over at you, quickly noticing the way your eyes were glued to his arm.
“you could say that, we’re just some dodgy, side of the road garage that people think is a scam” you did think it was a scam “but we’re genuine people, we’d never hurt anybody” he looked back down at your car as he continued working on it. “what do you do? you said you work all day”
“family owned restaurant not that far from here, a few people have been away these past few weeks so i’ve had to fill in for them. been working everyday so i never got the chance to properly get my car checked”
“do you enjoy it?”
“i don’t dislike it, it’s just not what i want to do forever”
“what do you want to do forever?” you leaned back in the chair, it moved slightly due to the wheels.
“i don’t know, something exciting” sungchan laughed at your response before letting you continue “anything from an air hostess to a porn star at this point”
“you think being a porn star would be exciting?” sungchan stood up straight, reaching over to get a tool from his box, there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. you struggled to tear your own away from his arms though, not being able to stop thinking about how strong he looked.
“not a full blown famous porn star who does coke and fucks guys with medically enlarged dicks” sungchan laughed again, you were begining it really enjoy that sound “an amateur one who works for herself and only has one partner”
“well, if you ever need a partner i wouldn’t mind getting a part time job” you giggled, giggled, at his response, you almost wanted to slap yourself for having such a response.
“i’ll keep it in mind” you thought for a moment “if you ever need a receptionist, just let me know”
“are you trying to recreate a receptionist and mechanic porn?”
“no, i think maybe a porn where the customer thanks her mechanic by giving him an extra special tip would be more appropriate” sungchan poked his tongue against his inner cheek, chuckling at what you were suggesting.
“well sweetheart” he stood up and closed the hood of your car, walking over to where you sat and dropping your keys onto the desk before leaning over you to use the laptop. he was so close to you, the top of his tank top fell down as he leaned over, revealing his toned stomach to your eyes. your thighs pressed together on their own, fuck he was hot. sungchan pressed a few buttons on his mouse before looking down at you, he was towering over you from where he was positioned, hair falling into his eyes “that’s a video i’d rather we kept between ourselves, no one would want to share a pretty little thing like you”
“are there cameras in here?” your voice was quieter than before, sungchan shook his head.
“not one” your eyes fell from his face to his crotch, this was the first time you’d noticed that he was hard, you could see the outline of his cock through his overalls. he was big. your eyes flicked back up to his face before he leaned down and kissed you. it was somewhat of an awkward kiss, you’d imagined the position was making his strain his back due to how tall he was, but it still felt incredible. it was wet, messy, intense, it told you that he wanted you  just as bad as you wanted him. he pulled away not long after, hand reaching down to cup your cheek.
“you know what i think, sweetheart” it sounded as if there was real honey oozing from his voice, you were hooked. 
“hmm?” your hands went up to his shoulders, fingers wandering down the skin of his arms, stopping at his bicep. you had to bite back a moan when you felt them flex under your grip “what do you think?” your eyes stayed on his, mouth going dry at the sight of his features growing sharper.
“i think” his hand fell from your cheek to your jaw, he held it softly in his hand before tightening his grip and pulling you forward harshly, your hands went to his chest, his lip were close to yours “i think a girl as sweet and put together as you, secretly likes to be fucked rough” you whimpered at his words, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you up off of the chair, pressing you back against the desk when he did. the metal dug into your back but you didn’t care, you were too distracted by sungchan. 
“and what if i do?” he leaned forward, tongue poking out and touching the base of your neck, he licked a slow, wet stripe up the skin until he reached just below your ear.
“you should let me do it” your fingers curled around the thin fabric of his tank top.
“please” sungchan laughed against your neck, lips parting so he could press them against it.
“who knew you’d be so easy” he spoke in between wet kisses against your skin.
“i don’t sleep around, sungchan” he lifted his head, hand still holding your jaw. he brought his thumb up to press against your lips, you parted your lips to welcome it into your mouth.
“oh? so i’m a special circumstance”
“i just” you whined, his hand fell from your waist to grip your ass, thumb pulling out of your mouth to press against your bottom lip, wetting it “need you so bad”
“so you’re easy for me?”
“just for you” it came out as a whimper as he squeezed your ass again.
“good girl” his fingers left your jaw and joined his other hand on your ass, he lifted you to sit  on the desk, pushing your legs apart so he could stand between them. he pulled you forward until you were sat on the edge of it, chest flat against his as he kissed you again. your hands went to his hair, fingers tangling in the messy strands. you couldn’t help but gasp against his lips when he pressed himself against you, the feeling of his cock against you made your legs feel weak, you were lucky that you were sat down otherwise you were sure you would’ve fell.  
sungchan’s lips were rough against yours, his tongue felt hot in your mouth, pressing against yours. he had dominated you with such simple actions, it left you in anticipation for more. from what you’d seen already, you knew he wasn’t going to disappoint, especially not with how small he had already made you feel.
his fingers hooked into the hem of your trousers, trailing under the thin strap of your underwear in the process. he pulled them off of your skin, easily liting you up to pull them off of your legs before sitting you back on the desk. you winced at the feeling of the cold metal against your heated skin, sungchan laughed, letting his lips break from yours as he spread your legs apart a little wider, finger dropping down to press into your slit. 
“soaked” he tutted, a smile playing on his lips “want me that bad don’t you, sweetheart” it wasn’t a question, he was telling you that he knew how bad you wanted him and he wasn’t wrong. he slowly slid his finger up to your clit, circling the swollen nub, pressing down on it, you squirmed. sungchan was watching you carefully, how you breathed heavily when he put pressure on your clit, how your fingers trailed down and dug into his arms when he pressed two fingers against it and began rubbing it in steadier, quicker circles. you whimpered when he placed his lips onto yours again, nails digging into his flesh when his fingers moved down your cunt and pressed against your hole.
he pushed his tongue into your mouth at the same time that he pushed his middle finger inside of you. sungchan groaned against your lips when he felt you wrap around his finger, so warm and wet, so inviting. he couldn’t wait to feel the way your walls would squeeze around his cock, you were already such a good girl, he knew you’d take all of him so well. his finger pressed deeper inside of you, your fingers curling into his hair at the intrusion.
“feel so little” he moaned against your lips, finger thrusting into you a few times “gonna feel like heaven when you’re struggling to take my cock” his words, along with the feeling of his second finger pushing into you, made you whimper, you found yourself spreading your thighs further apart, pressing yourself closer to him just to feel his fingers deeper inside of you. sungchan broke the kiss and buried his head in your neck, fingers curling up as he attached his lips to your neck, teeth sinking into the sensitive flesh. you moaned, walls clenching around his fingers due to the slight pain of his teeth. 
he pulled his fingers out of you relatively quickly, not letting you savour the moment of them for much longer. you could only whine when he did, already hating not having some part of him inside of you. sungchan laughed into the kiss before he broke it, letting his lips slowly part from yours, a string of salvia still connecting the two of you. he looked at you for a few moments, eyes focused on the way your wet, swollen lips were parted. deep, heavy breaths falling from them. he wanted his cock between them.
his need got the better of him and he pulled you off of the desk, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he did. sungchan knew how easy it would’ve been for him to simply slide his cock into you whilst you were sat at the desk, but he was too enthralled with the idea of sliding his cock between your pretty lips. he would’ve done anything in that moment to see you looking up at him with your sweet eyes, full of tears as you take his thick cock down your throat. my good girl, he hummed to himself at the thought of it, the thought of what he could train you into becoming if you let him. but that was for another day, not of the day you just met.
“get on your knees for me, won’t you sweetheart?” you didn’t respond verbally, you just found yourself instinctively following his words, letting your knees fall to the cold, hard concrete of the floor below you. it was going to leave you aching and probably bruised, but the sheer amount of need you felt inside of you for sungchan clouded your better judgement. your mouth watered at the thought of having his cock on your tongue and that was enough for you to ignore any pain “so compliant and sweet” his hand found its way to your jaw, thumb pressing against your bottom lip “such a good girl”.
sungchan was still fully clothed when you sank to your knees, you waited for him to let go of your jaw before you changed that. fingers finger the sleeves of his overalls that he had tied around his waist in order to keep them on his body, they fell to the floor with ease, revealing the bare lower half of his body to your surprised eyes. you hadn’t expected him to have nothing else on under them, it shocked you that you were greeted with his hard, bare cock but you couldn’t complain, seeing him only made you want to taste him more.
“you’re so big” it came out as a whimper as you wrapped your hand around his cock, sungchan had to hold himself back from moaning when he saw how small your hand looked around it. he couldn’t find it in himself to take his eyes off of you, especially not when you took his cock into your mouth, lips wrapping around the thick head. sungchan groaned as your warm mouth consumed him, hands finding your hair immediately, needing something to grip onto as you sucked his cock.
you wanted take all of him into your mouth as soon as possible, feeling an undeniable craving for his cock that needed to be helped, one that could only be fixed by swallowing around his cock and getting to taste every drop of precum that seeps out. you got what you wanted too, once his fingers found your hair they stayed there and it wasn’t long until his hips were bucking forward against you, cock inching deeper into your mouth with each thrust. he still kept his eyes on you, mesmerised by how eagerly you were taking him.
“sweet fucking mouth was made for my cock fuck” he groaned as he spoke, fucking your mouth a little quicker, squeezing your hair a little tighter as he did, he didn’t want to cum though, he couldn’t, he needed to wait until he had your cunt wrapped around his cock first. “if im cumming today then i’m cumming inside of your sweet little cunt, not your mouth, sweetheart” his grip on your hair tightened a little, he pulled you to your feet by it, the action made you wince but it only made you wetter. the roughness, the manhandling, it’s something you had never experienced quite to this intensity before but you loved every second of it, even more so because it was from sungchan. 
you were unsure on what he was doing when he moved you, but you quickly realised when he pressed your front down against the hood of your car, hand only leaving your hair once the side of your face was pressed against the cold metal. his hand found it’s place on your back, other hand wrapping around his cock so he could guide himself into you.
“hope every time you get into this thing you think about the way i fucked you over it” he pressed the tip of his cock against your cunt, head slowly inching its way inside of you. the stretch made you moan, you desperately searched for something to grab on to but you found nothing, instead your hands balled together in fists near your head “sweet little thing like you needs to be thinking about how she got fucked brainless over her own car” sungchan pushed his cock deeper inside of you.
you could feel every inch of his cock, every vein that bulged out was pressing into your walls due to how tightly you were clenching around him. sungchan thought the way you were reacting to his cock was cute, god he needed to wreck you. he had to press his cock all the way inside of you, he was too curious to find out just how perfectly you’d wrap around him and how sweet you’d sound when you take him. well, you took him perfectly. to him, your pussy felt as if it was made especially for him, as if god took his time creating you so you’d be able to take him perfectly. 
he noticed the way your hands were balled in fists, how you still manically searched for something, anything to hold on to as he slowly moved dragged his cock between your walls. he leaned over you, cock shifting deeper when he did, his hands wrapped around your wrists, one in each hand, before he stood up properly. he had your arms stretched out behind your back, letting your hands wrap around his as he thrusted into you a little harder, testing the waters. he groaned as you clenched around his, wetness seeping out of you as he thrusted into you again. 
the side of your face was still pressed against the hood of your car as he began fucking you properly, enjoying the way your desperate moans echoed throughout the garage, they mixed so beautifully with the sound of your cunt getting fucked stupid. wet, raw, squelching sounds came from where his cock was entering you repeatedly, the sounds bounced off of the walls and back to sungchan’s ears. any sound that came from you was beautiful, it took everything in him to not press his cock deeper inside of you and spill his cum into you then and there.
though, sungchan knew he wasn’t going to last long, there was no way he could with the way you were squeezing around him. the feeling of your cunt as well as the feeling of your lips from earlier on had him edging close with each thrust. but he wanted to fuck you for just a little bit longer, wanted to have his skin slapping against yours and feel your nails dig into his flesh a little more. you were lost in the way he was fucking you, everything felt so good, so intense. he stretched you out perfectly, pounded the tip of his cock against every part of you that had your thighs shaking and your cunt begging for a release. 
you were more focused on him cumming though, wanting to feel him spill every last drop of his cum inside of you, wanting him to fill you up until it was dripping out of you. it would be a memory you’d never forget, so you wanted it out of him as soon as possible.
“sungchannie” you whined, head spinning at the sound of your skin slapping together “need your cum” sungchan let out what sounded like a moan, it was delicate and pretty yet so sinful “need you to fill me up” your voice was completely broken as you spoke to him, it just drove him to the edge. sungchan moaned when he let himself go, cock still fucking into you relentless as he let his cum shoot inside of you, fingers holding onto your wrists in what felt like a death grip. he’d tried his hardest to look down at where the two of you connected but he found himself throwing his head back, finally letting his orgasm take control of all of him.
he was silent as he stilled inside of you, the only thing you heard from him was heavy breathing. you weren’t sure what he was thinking but you were glad he’d given you what you wanted. but what he wanted, was to make you cum. there was no way he could let you leave without cumming, what kind of gentleman would he be if he sent such a pretty little thing on her way without having at least one orgasm.
it happened all too fast for you to process. you felt empty when sungchan pulled his cock out of you, it felt cold, but that changed when you felt his fingers press against your cum soaked cunt. he’d dropped to his knees, both hands moving to grab the sides of your ass so he could press his face against your pussy, tongue slipping out of his mouth so he could taste you. he moaned against you, lips being covered in your slick and his cum as he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking on the swollen nub and letting his tongue flick over it. with how well he fucked you, you knew you wouldn’t last long.
“sungchan, fuck” you felt the knot in your stomach grow tighter, his tongue never stopped flicking against you, lips never leaving your clit as he let you cum into his mouth sungchan savoured every drop of your cum mixed together, groaning at the taste the two of you had created. it took him a few seconds to stand up, hands coming down to pull you off of your car and settle you in front of him. he looked down at you, a playful smile dancing across his lips. 
“might have to call you up about that receptionist job, i know my friend would love you”.
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
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Who Builds Theseus' Ship?
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This ties in to a greater discussion about Larian's changes to the game post-Full Release, and whether you consider those changes to be a good thing or a bad thing. Personally speaking, the quality-of-life and gameplay mechanics improvements were appreciated, while the direct changes to characters and especially characterization were not so much.
In such discussions, I often see people downplaying the actual changes to characterization that have been made thus far as "minor" things, but I often see one of the most glaring examples of a characterization change left out, because so many people aren't even aware of it ever happening:
Halsin.
For those who don't know, if you were romancing Halsin at the time of the original full release, and for almost four months afterward, if you took him with you to Act 3's orgy scene in Sharess's Caress, he would open up about a situation in his distant past. He would tell you about how he had briefly been "something between guest, prisoner, and consort" in a drow House, and been kept there for three years before escaping.
He stated that this was something that happened "a long time ago", when he was "a foolhardy young druid", which would mean it would likely have been between ages 100 and 245 — or at minimum 105 years ago, and at (likely) maximum 250 years ago. He closed the discussion with a line that really struck me, and that gave me such an appreciation for his character, and for the writers who had created it:
The passage of time has a strange way of polishing even the most arduous of memories into precious keepsakes.
As someone in their late-20s, with a number of traumatic events in my past, this resonated so much both with my experience of those events – once harrowing and haunting, now just simple happenings that do not affect me the way they once did – and as an inspirational message, that hurt would not necessarily linger forever.
Not only that, I really valued the insight it gave into Halsin's personality, further showing him to be someone who was deeply complex and meditative, always looking for meaning and something to take away or learn from any experience. It also served to showcase the likely reality of the relationship elves and druids both would have to the concepts of time and memory. (Another example of this is the experience of Shadowheart's father compared to her mother at the hands of the Sharrans.)
I started playing the game almost immediately upon its release in August, and was intrigued by Halsin from the start. He was someone who was kind and heartfelt, but also very settled in himself and with a simultaneously rigid and very flexible moral code. It was that complexity that drew me to him, and I appreciated the inclusion of a character distinct from the Origin companions, all at close to the lowest point of their lives.
It was to my surprise to find that this appreciation for his character and perspective on his Act 3 revelation was not unanimous. As it turned out, there was a vocal group of people claiming that this writing was problematic, and that Halsin clearly didn't even realize he was actually traumatized, and that Larian needed to fix it. Not everyone joining in with this crusade had even played the game.
And, ultimately, in a pattern they have continued to follow, Larian responded. They fixed it. At the end of November, as part of Patch 5, they uploaded an edited version of the scene with new dialogue, where the player could express this "reality" to Halsin, in one of the most gallingly patronizing statements I've ever seen.
Sounds traumatic. You may need to reflect on that.
(If someone said this to me after I had opened up to them about my trauma and my experience of it to them, we would not be maintaining a cordial relationship afterward.)
Halsin's new response to these dialogue options is a cringing, self-deprecating cascade of how the player is of course right, and he should have known better, and time could "prove to be a trickster on one's recollections" and that perhaps he had "lost perspective".
Quite frankly, it is a completely different character answering, and an almost directly opposing overall message about the role of time in healing, and the path forward when it comes to trauma. No more "one day these events will not hurt to recall the way they do now". In its stead: "only healing that looks a specific way and follows a specific path is acceptable - anything else and you are simply a poor fool lying to yourself."
The following quote is from a comment left on a video of Halsin's original dialogue in that scene, before the changes, and is just one example of how much that representation meant to more than just me to see:
That said, Halsin is trauma recovery goals for me absolutely. Being able to remember without actually being triggered? Being able to fully and freely engage HOW ID LIKE TO instead of being fettered by trauma responses? Goals. I don’t know if I’ll ever get there 100%, we don’t get elven lifetimes irl, but his level of healing brings me hope.
Ultimately, this post is not meant to argue that you should agree with me that one is better than the other. More so, I want to highlight that this existed — for many people, this was their experience of events and characters, and that is not so easily redacted. And I also want to just state, for the record, that Larian's way of approaching narrative and characterization changes to their full-release game has been incredibly frustrating. I did not agree, in August, to play an Early Access game with the inherent understanding that any potential narrative aspect might change at any time. I purchased a full-release game, and immersed myself in the story and the characters, to get to know them as the writers had originally presented.
And when Larian makes these changes based on fan feedback, they are explicitly making decisions about which fans matter, and specifically, which fans matter most. Rather than allowing everyone to experience the story they decided to tell, and draw from it what they take away, and let that spark discussion and engagement, they made the decision to defer to some fans over others, and prioritize their experience of the narrative — something that, no matter how well-intended, is always going to leave a bitter taste in my mouth.
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esoteric-goblin · 3 months
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on worldbuilding, and what people think is going on
there is one facet of fantasy worldbuilding that is, to me, the most interesting and essential but i don't see it come up in worldbuilding guides or writing prompts or anything, and that is the question of:
what do the inhabitants of your world believe about how the world works, and how are they wrong? a lot of fantasy media will set up their cosmology, gods, magic systems, planar systems, concepts of the afterlife, &c., and proceed as though the inhabitants of the world know and understand them.
from someone whose entire academic career is focused on studying human culture in various regions and time periods, with a focus on belief systems (religion, occultism, mythology, folklore): that sort of worldbuilding is unrealistic and missing out on so much fun.
people are always seeking new understanding about how the world works, and they are mostly wrong. how many models of the solar system were proposed before we reached our current one? look at the long, turbulent history of medicine and our various bizarre models for understanding the human body and how to fix it. so many religions and occult/magical traditions arise from people disagreeing with or adapting various models of the world based on new ideas, methods, technologies. many of them are wrong, but all of them are interesting and reflect a lot about the culture, beliefs, values, and fears of the people creating/practising them.
there is so much more to the story of what people believe about the world than just what is true.
to be clear: i think it's fine and important for the author to have a coherent explanation for where magic comes from or who the gods are, so they can maintain consistency in their story. but they should also be asking what people in the world (especially different people, in different regions/nations and different times) think is happening when they do magic, or say a prayer, or practise medicine, or grieve their dead. it is a rich vein for conflict between individuals and nations alike when two models of the world disagree. it is fascinating how different magic systems might develop according to different underlying beliefs.
personally, i think it is the most fun to spawn many diverse models of the world, but give none of them the 'right' answer.
(bonus points if you also have a thriving academic system in the world with its own theory, research, and discourse between factions! as an academic, it is very fun to imagine fictional academic debate over the topics i'm worldbuilding. sometimes i will be working out details for some underlying mechanic of the world and start imagining the papers being written by scholars researching it)
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vanwritesfan-fiction · 3 months
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Body Like a Back Road
Request: Joe Burrow and reader go on spontaneous road trip during off season.
Warnings: smut (fingering, intercourse), language, mentions of a funeral
A/N: my second stand alone Joe fic! Enjoy!
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"In 500 feet, turn right". The voice of the GPS startled you out of your nap, your head knocking against the window as the car went over a pothole. "Ow!" You pressed a hand to the side of your face, grimacing at the sharp pain. Joe snickered as he glanced over at you, his hands flexing open and closed as he balanced them on the top of the steering wheel. "Good, you're awake."
"Where are we?", you grumbled out as you stood up, stretching your arm over your chest in hopes of getting the knot out of your shoulder from sleeping against the door. There were no signs to indicate your current location, and for the past eight hours, everything out of your window looked the same, nothing but trees along each side and the open road.
"We're just outside of St. Louis. At least according to the GPS, but I think I made a couple wrong turns about an hour ago, so I know fuck all where we are." Joe bit at his thumb nail, something he always did when he was stressed. "Great." You whispered, leaning your head against the window. The vibration of the car was lulling you back to sleep, your eyelids growing heavy.
The season was finally over, and after a less than stellar year, Joe was going stir crazy sitting around with nothing to do. He could only hit the gym so many times a day and watch game tape over and over before it started to get boring. When you mentioned to him that you had to travel to Denver to attend the funeral of one of your distant cousins as a favor to your mom, he offered to tag along with you, and against your better judgement you said yes.
Going to a family funeral was something that a boyfriend did for their girlfriend, not for their fuck buddy. You didn't want to give Joe, and honestly, you're own heart, the wrong idea about where you stood, but the thought of making a 17 hour drive alone sounded like torture.
Your relationship with Joe was...complicated, to say the least. You had been friends through college, and for the longest, it was nothing more than that, but when you both ended up in Cincy, Joe was drafted to the Bengals and you had just settled in the city with your first big-girl job, it became something more. You were both lonely, living in a new place, and you leaned on each other for support.
The first time you slept with Joe, you considered it a fluke, a slip up that could easily happen between friends. After months of consistently ending up in bed together, you realized that the two of you were in too deep. Now, a couple years later, it had become more habit than anything else, and you weren't even sure if you could call yourself friends as much as you had become a source of comfort for one another. You knew it was best to end it before anyone got hurt, but for some reason, you just couldn't.
Joe slapped your thigh, making you jump. "Hey, I need you to stay up. This GPS is useless."
"In 200 feet, turn left onto Franklin Street."
"Franklin Street?!" Joe gestured wildly to the left of him. "There is no fuckin' Franklin Street! Does she want me to drive into the woods?" Joe scoffed as he leaned back in his seat. You leaned forward to see there in fact was no Franklin Street, chuckling to yourself. "Don't let her get to you, J. You know she's not real, right?"
"Ya know what...its not even the GPS, its your damn car. Piece of junk." He slapped the console, the volume dial falling out of place. You grabbed it, shoving it back onto its slot. "Hey, Darla has been there for me since I was 16. She is a classic." Truthfully, Darla was hanging on by a thread, and the last time you brought her to a mechanic they offered you $200 for her to use for scraps, but you didn't have the money for a new or gently used car right now, and as long as you didn't go over 50 mph, she drove fine.
"A classic piece of shit", he mumbled under his breath, earning a slap on the arm from you. "Shit!", he rubbed at his chest, "do you wanna drive? 'Cause I can pull over right now."
"Funny, because she wasn't a piece of shit all of the times we were doin' it in the backseat." You propped your feet on the dashboard.
"Yeah, good times." Joe's ran his fingers through his hair nervously, his face starting to heat up. He was glad you went back to sleep so you couldn't see him start to sweat.
"Wake me up when we get to Kansas." You grabbed Joe's hat from the dashboard, pulling it over your eyes to block out the evening sun.
****
The next few hours went by like a dream as you went in and out of consciousness, listening to Joe's terrible singing along to the Hamilton soundtrack as he managed to eat through all of the snacks you packed for a two day drive.
You took in a deep breath as you woke up to darkness, the overhead light blinding you as you rubbed your eyes to try to focus your vision. As soon as you noticed you were alone, the driver's door was wide open, and Joe was gone, you began to panic.
"Joe! Joe, where are you? This isn't funny!" All horror movie protocol went out of the window as you unbuckled and climbed out of the car.
"Joe!" Silence. You grabbed your phone out of your back pocket and turned on the flashlight as you rounded the back of the car, illuminating the eerie thicket of trees you were parked next to. "Joe, I swear to God, if you're hiding somewhere I'm gonna kill you." You took a step forward, jumping as you heard a twig snap beneath your feet. You held your breath, feeling your pounding heartbeat in your ears as you listened for any sound of life. Again, silence.
"You know what? I'm just gonna assume you're already dead and keep it pushing." You called out to the open. You had seen Friday the 13th enough times to know there was no way you were going to outrun anyone. You turned back to the car, noticing a figure flash by out of the corner of your eye.
"BOOO!!" Joe jumped out from behind the car, his arms swinging above his head to appear terrifying. You collided with him, bouncing off of his strong frame, and landed on your ass.
"Ha! You should have seen your face!" Joe bellowed over with laughter as you stood and dusted the dirt off of your pants, a scowl on your face. "Fuck, that was so worth it." He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.
You shoved him, hard, making his back hit the car. "What the hell were you even doing? Why did we stop?" You opened the trunk and grabbed a sweatshirt out of your bag, feeling the chill on your skin as the temperature dropped after dark. "Had to take a piss."
"I feel like we've been driving forever. How far to the motel?" You were beginning to get cranky, your empty stomach contributing to your sour mood. "Still got another two hours until we get to Kansas City and stop for the night." You both got back into the car, but as Joe tried to turn the engine, it only sputtered a couple of times before dying out.
"C'mon", Joe groaned, cranking the key again to no avail. 'Fuck!" He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, hitting the horn. "Your piece of shit car died, Y/N."
"Its not Darla's fault, you probably made her mad stopping in the middle of nowhere."
He pressed his forehead to the wheel. "Please tell me you have roadside assistance."
"Um...define "roadside assistance"?" You had AAA at one point, but let your membership expire when you couldn't afford the monthly payment anymore. "Y/N! What if I wasn't here?! You would have been stranded in the middle of Kansas by yourself with no way to get help!" Joe didn't mean to yell at you, but just the thought of you being out here alone was stressing him out.
"Good thing you're here, then." You harmlessly placed a hand on his thigh to reassure him as you scrolled the internet for tow trucks. Neither of you realized that Joe had grabbed your hand in his, interlacing your fingers. As you rose your head, feeling him massaging your fingers mindlessly as he stared ahead, you felt your stomach flip. "Joe", you uttered out, waiting for him to look at you.
"Oh, sorry." He snatched his hand back, running his fingers through his blonde locks. He didn't even realize he had done it. You were his safe place, and touching you brought him comfort in a way that he really didn't understand himself. You were no stranger to his touch, but it was always in the name of getting off.
"I think I found a place a couple miles away. ETA is...2 hours." You let out a frustrated sigh. Waiting two hours for a two truck meant you weren't going to see a shower or bed anytime soon. You desperately wanted to wash this road trip off with the hottest water a hotel shower could produce.
Joe leaned his seat back, the worn leather creaking underneath him as he sunk down, crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. "What are you doing?", you asked, shifting in your seat to face him.
"What does it look like?"
"You can't fall asleep. What if some monster comes and snatches me out of my window?" You were partly kidding, partly terrified that would actually happen. "That's not gonna happen", he huffed, "I'm not that lucky." You scoffed, throwing your feet over his lap. "You need to stay up and keep me company. Those are the rules of the roadtrip."
"Please. I just drove eight hours, five of which you were asleep."
"Joe, please. Just until the tow truck gets here."
"Fine. Tell me about your cousin. Were you close?", Joe hummed, scratching his nose. "Technically she's my mom's cousin, and no, I've never met her. My mom was close with her at one time, but they lost touch years ago. I'm just going to represent the family."
Joe opened an eye to peek at you. "You're going all the way to Denver for someone you've never met?"
"Why do you sound so shocked? I can do things out of the kindness of my heart." You clutched your chest dramatically, but Joe just chuckled, dropping his shoulders in a sigh. "It's just... ya know what? Nevermind."
"What? Tell me."
"Its just...are you sure that's all that it is? In all the time I've known you, you do things out of comfort. I'm not saying its a bad thing, but this isn't like you." He was looking at you know, his blue eyes illuminated by the orange hued overhead lighting. He was staring into your soul, like he was trying to pull something out of you, and you squirmed underneath the scrutiny.
Your head snapped when you saw a pair of headlights coming down the road, but it was just a passing car. "We have had sex in this car so many times, because you don't even want to come to my place most of the time." You turned back to Joe, whose eyes were closed again.
You bit at your bottom lip. You never realized anyone was paying attention to you that closely, especially not Joe. "I've been thinking a lot about the things I've settled for in my life, and this felt like a breath of fresh air, something different. I'm going a funeral, but I'm also getting out of Ohio for a minute."
Your words hit Joe like a ton of bricks. He quickly sat up. "Are you thinking about leaving Ohio?"
"Eventually", you shrugged. "You didn't think I'd be there forever did you?" you giggled, playing with the hem of your sweatshirt. "I mean, I guess, I- didn't give it much thought." Joe let in a sharp breath to stop his fumbling. He did think you'd be there forever, or at least, he always thought you'd be there as long as he was.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find a new fuck buddy", you said in jest, crossing your legs one over the other. Joe felt his throat go dry, his skin crawling in the silence. He was desperate to change the subject and get his mind off all of the terrible possibilities. "How much longer?"
You checked your phone. "Still got another hour. I'm starving. Did you really eat all of the snacks?" You sat up and crawled into the back of the car to search the bags you packed. "Really, Joe, even my Cheetos? Aren't you on some sort of athlete diet?" You threw the empty bag at him, the plastic hitting him in the face. "I was hungry." He tried to go to the sleep to the sound of you rummaging behind him.
"Hey, look what I found." Joe opened his eyes to see a gold-wrapped condom dangling in front of his face. "I have an idea of how we can pass the time", you whispered in his ear, making him shiver. "If you're not too tired."
"Fuck it." With a grunt, he ripped the condom out of your hands, and took it between his teeth as he unbuttoned his jeans. You frantically climbed to the front, stripping off your sweatshirt before climbing over him to straddle his legs. You turn off the overhead light, moonlight pouring over both of you through the window.
Goosebumps rose on your skin as you pulled him in for a messy kiss, your skin on fire even though seconds ago you were freezing. As you made out, his hands trailed around your waist, inching closer and closer to your spine before his large hands slid down the small of your back and grabbed rough handfuls of your ass, his fingers digging into your delicate skin as your back arched.
He began to move your hips slowly back and forth, making you grind against his pelvis, but he was going too slow for your taste, so you grabbed at his hands, circling your hips against him with an eagerness that had his hips bucking from sensitivity. You could feel him grow hard quickly against your inner thigh, letting out little moans into your mouth as your lips lingered together.
'Y/N, honey-", Joe could barely get the words out, his chest heaving with each breath. "What?", you huffed out without losing your pacing. "What's the rush?", His brow knitted together in pain as his cock rubbed against his zipper. "The tow truck is gonna be here any minute." Joe nodded, holding you in place. You backed away from him, pushing the hair that was stuck to his face with sweat out of his eyes. "We're having sex. I'd like to have use of my dick afterwards, okay?"
You giggled, pulling him by the collar of his shirt for another kiss, alternating between sucking on his top and bottom lips. You moved your hips again, this time with more control, focusing on the friction against your clit with each movement. "Better?", you questioned, only earning a moan from Joe. You could feel yourself growing wet, your panties soaked as you built your orgasm off of friction alone. Joe fumbled with the button of your shorts, sliding his hand down your front, feeling the wetness pooled against the cotton fabric.
"Shit, I didn't realize you were so ready." He toyed with the band of your panties, snapping the elastic against your skin. "Take these off." You lifted yourself off of Joe's lap, settling in the passenger seat, and shuffled your shorts and panties down your legs, kicking them into the back seat. Joe pulled you back onto his lap, eliciting a squeal from you, and in a single breath, he has you writhing on top of him again, his thumb pressing against your clit as he draws agonizingly circles around the sensitive bud.
"Fuck, fuck, don't stop." You hiss, guiding his fingers to drag through your drenched folds, humping against his hand. He slides one of his large digits inside of your pussy, feeling you clench around him, your muscles pulsing as he begins to thrust in and out of you. He slips another finger inside, and you feel the stretch, taking deep breaths as he hooks his fingers and strokes against your cushiony ceiling.
Watching your face contort with pleasure, your chest bouncing in front of him with your head thrown back has him at a loss for words, desperate to get his hands on every inch of you. He helps you get your shirt off over your head, reaching behind your back to easily unclasp the hooks of your bra with his free hand, exposing your budding nipples to the cold air.
Joe leans forward, flicking his tongue against your nipple, and ghosting wet kisses between your breasts. You move back instinctively when he nips at your skin, but he pulls you aggressively back, hungry to feel you in his mouth again. "Feels so good, baby." Expletives are rolling off your tongue as he sucks harder on your nipples. Your hands find the back of his head, your fingernails raking against his scalps as he moves down to your stomach, pressing a kiss right above your belly button as you lean against the steering wheel.
He pulls out of you, your wetness glistening on his fingers. Without hesitation, you take both of his fingers into your mouth, pressing them against your tongue. "You look so fuckin' beautiful like this", he grunts out, his mouth slightly agape as he watches you. Instead of your usual bashfulness at his dirty talk, you hold eye contact with him, your eyelids heavy with lust as you lick him clean, popping his index finger against your lips as you pull them out.
"Fuck, lift your hips." He instructs, racing against his internal clock, like he'll cum in his pants if he doesn't have you now. You do as he says, cupping your chest as he fumbles for the discarded condom, finding it in the cupholder. He unbuckles his belt and pushes his jeans and boxers down to his knees, his pink cock springing free and resting against his lower stomach. You salivate at the engorged vein that travels from the base of his cock to the tip, which is leaking pre-cum.
"Hurry up!" You playfully push him, turning to look over your shoulder for any tow trucks or stray cars, but its obvious the two of you are alone out here. He rips the foil wrapper with his teeth, and removes the condom, rolling it down his length. He wraps his hands around the base of his cock as you slowly sink down on him, taking him inch by inch until you bottom out with a loud moan. "Oh, fuck."
He pulls at the manual recline handle and goes flying back, landing against the backseat with a thud, hitting the back of his head against the headrest. "I fuckin' hate this car", he mumbles, quickly forgetting about the ancient vehicle and his injury as you begin to bounce on his dick, the sound of your ass slapping against his thighs audible, quickly drowned out by the squelching of your wetness as he slips in and out of you.
Joe can't focus on anything but how good you feel and how good you look on top of him, your silhouette illuminated in the moonlight, his hands grazing against the curve of your waist and hips. You feel your legs start to fatigue so you lean forward, resting your hands on his chest, feeling the contours of his muscles underneath your palms.
He takes the opportunity to worship your body as you ride him, placing kisses on your arms and chest while you're too blissed out to even notice. "So fuckin good, baby. You're doin' so fuckin' good", he praises you over and over, which has you hurdling toward your orgasm, feeling the coil tighten in your core.
"Joe", you whimper out, your pace slowing as you tire. "I've got you", he remarks, sliding his hands underneath your thighs to hold you up while he snaps his hips into you, making you take him to the hilt each time. He strokes your g-spot in perfect succession each time and you're sure you won't last much longer. "I'm-I'm gonna cum." You bite out, your words vibrating through your bouncing chest, your nails digging into his pecs, leaving red marks. He increases his pace, hitting against your cervix, the car squeaking and shaking side to side as you come undone, your release washing over you with waves of pleasure.
Joe's right behind you, his face scrunched tight as he feels every muscle in his body contract, "Fuck, I'm gonna cum", he warns just in time, and you pepper kisses against his jawline as his hips stutter. You try to kiss him, but he can only draw in sharp breaths as he releases into you, residual muscle pulses from your orgasm milking him for every drop.
Completely spent, he draped an arm around your back, pulling your weight down on his body. Your chests heave in succession as you come down from your high and try to catch your breath. You lazily kiss his cheek with a smile. "Fuck, that was-"
"I love you." You both were silent, the declaration hanging in the air. Joe was shocked at the words as if they didn't come out of his own mouth. You lifted your head to look at him, your hands still clamped around his face. "What did you say?"
"What?" Joe responded, in immediate denial. He tried to look away, but you turned his head back to you. You heard your phone vibrating in the passenger seat but you ignored it, unable to take your eyes off of him. His face was soft, genuine, his eyes very telling. He meant what he said.
Your phone vibrated for a second time. "Its probably the tow truck. You should get that." Joe was desperate for a reprieve. "Yeah." You shook your head and climbed off his lap, grabbing your phone to answer it. "Hello? Yes, we're around mile marker 152. Okay." You hurriedly put your clothes back on, Joe watching you through the rear view mirror the entire time. He could physically see you trying to process what had just happened, and he honestly wished he'd never said anything. He wasn't sure if he loved you, he was too lost in the moment, thinking with his dick instead of his head.
"They'll be here in five." Your words jogged Joe out of his trance. He nodded and got out of the car, desperate for air. You needed to talk about what happened, but right now, you just wanted to focus on getting your car towed and getting to the nearest hotel so you could get some sleep.
The ride in the tow truck was uncomfortably quiet. You rested your head against the window, your arms crossed over your chest to create as much distance between the two of you as possible, desperate to close your eyes even for a few minutes. Joe glanced over at you multiple times in the short five mile ride to the hotel. He raked a hand through his messy hair, moving to stroke his jawline, the guilt of catching you off guard and professing his love for you in the heat of the moment, gnawing at him.
The hotel was very basic, no amenities and didn't even a continental breakfast, and wasn't really up to Joe's standards, but it was the only one in town, so he'd settle for it just for the night. He stood in the lobby and watched you as you checked in, making light conversation with the desk attendant.
Maybe if he just denied it, or avoided talking about it, you two could move past this, and it could all be a bad memory.
He felt a lump build in his throat as you walked toward him. Seeing the distress on your face, he knew there was no way you were getting over this anytime soon. "Look, Y/N-"
Your face was stoic as you threw your bag over your shoulder. You shoved a key card in his direction without a word. "Goodnight, Joe." He watched you walk away, flipping the key card in his hand.
What the hell had he just done?
Tag-List:
@wonderlandiswhereitsatyo
@bernelflo
@wickedfun9
@brrbrina
@zobellagio
@tallrock35
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lw6-woso · 4 months
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coping mechanism (Leah Williamson x reader)
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OCD, it was something. when you first joined the Arsenal squad in 2018 the girls took notice quickly that you were some one of a clean an organising freak. the first time they really noticed was when they walked into your apartment for a team bonding night. everything was highly organised, you books you food and everything was perfectly clean like it was really impressive.
so when you and Leah moved in together, Leah got first hand of the struggles of our OCD and not just been organised and neat. the anxiety, the mood swings all the bad things Leah has witnessed.
it was a normal day and you both had just gotten back from training, you both showered and Leah went to do some work in the office whilst you were doing some organisation in the kitchen since it was getting on your last nerve. you were currently taking out everything from the cupboards and cleaning the cupboards, the things in the cupboards and then organising everything.
Leah had walked in half way through you being in your moment, and signed knowing that you were getting bad, that's what the girls like to call it it was stages, you would clean simple for example hoover and polish, you would clean excessively like lamps and do a real spring clean and then you would slowly get worse with organising closets, clothes and then going through the house and organising every part of the house over and over again. during these stages your wellbeing would get worse with your mood changes, sleep it would all get worse. worse was a key word in this situation.
Leah always struggled with this sort of things, never knowing the triggers as you didn't even know, it just happened.
"hey baby what you doing" she asked leaning on the door frame.
"this kitchen has been bothering me for a while" i said finishing off another cupboard.
"okay so what do you want for tea tonight" she said not knowing if the kitchen will be in cooking conditions tonight.
"takeout" you said almost instantly.
"okay what food you thinking" She said.
"i don't know I'm not that hungry you can choose love" you said to her and she nodded leaving you to it. Leah walked back into the office and ordered food and and asked Kim for some advise.
you were really getting along with the Kitchen finishing all the cupboards and sweeping and mopping before leaving the kitchen. you were walking towards the office still feeling awful you couldn't even describe the deep feeling you had within you. walking into the office you sat next to Leah fidgeting about.
"come on" Leah said getting up and grabbing your hand.
"what" you asked.
"we are going for a drive" she said as you walked out of the house. you didn't question what she was doing. you just let Leah drive off.
"what about food" you asked.
"we will pick it up" She said, and you did just that you picked up the food and continued to drive and drive hoping it'll clear your head. Leah parked up in front of the sunset, you sat there in silence not knowing what to say.
"what caused it" she said and you knew exactly what she was going on about and you knew the answer.
"my therapist suggested to change my prescription" you said.
"oh love, why didn't say anything" she said.
"i don't know i just thought id be fine" you said.
"so how do you feel about it all" she asked.
"in my gut i think its good idea like i haven't had to many slips and I'm progressing with everything but in my mind i think that if it change everything its just going to get worse and ill end up like i did after covid and i cant do that again" you said.
during and after covid was awful for you the germs and the news go to you and to summaries it all you refused to play football and when you did start to come back to training you went through a breakdown and you didn't come to training or play for almost a month.
"you won't because you have a strong support system and i think personally i think that you should try to change your dose so then if it doesn't work then you really know where you are and if you are improving and if it does work then your getting there its a long process as you know" she said.
"yeah" you said.
"one step at a time" she said and you looked at her and kissed her.
"i love you" you said to her.
"i love you more" she said back.
"not possible" you said to her kissing her again.
"right lets get home I'm shattered" Leah said and you agreed it had been a long day.
you both went home and straight to bed. over the next couple of weeks you agreed to change your dose and it had been the best decision you had made during the journey, you felt more free. you obviously had your moments with cleaning, that will never change as you were always a clean person before your diagnosis, but Leah was right with having a strong supportive system all the girls were rocks, and Leah especially having her to come home to made life so much easier.
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avalypuff · 7 months
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Answers to the common questions of “Why didn’t Zelda retain dragon features?” and “Why did Link’s arm revert to normal?”
I’ve been dying to do some analysis posts since TotK came out, and after seeing a lot of people complain about the above, I decided my first should be related to the endgame.
So, I’ve seen a lot of posts where people seem to misunderstand what was going on when Zelda changed back into a Hylian, and why Link’s arm returned to normal. Many write this off as simply plot convenience, and while it’s true that Nintendo wouldn’t want to leave the main characters of one of their most popular titles with permanent changes, I’m here to try my best to explain the actual reason these things happened the way they did, because whether you noticed it or not, there is plot relevance to this reversion.
Draconification is permanent.
This is an indisputable fact.
And while I have seen people criticizing the way Zelda changed back, the fact is she swallowed the stone knowing that she never would.
“I’ll be forever changed…”
Her cry for Link to find her was not for her sake. She wasn’t depending on him to find the key to changing her back. Nay, the only reason she desperately prayed for him to find her was so that he could get the Master Sword, which—ignoring game mechanics that would allow you to beat Ganondorf with literally any weapon with the right damage/durability ratio—canonically is the only thing that can hurt him.
When Zelda changed back, it was almost entirely thanks to Sonia. That’s right!
…Let’s take a second to recall this scene in which Rauru decimated the horde of Molduga.
We see Sonia extend her hand and then gesture for Zelda to do the same.
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Here they’re extending their own power to amplify Rauru’s counterattack, even beyond the already-massive boost the Secret Stone provides.
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In the final scene when Link finds himself hovering over the sleeping Light Dragon amongst a dream-like atmosphere, it’s really quite telling that Sonia is the first to rest her hand over Link’s, then followed by Rauru.
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This time Rauru is fulfilling the role of amplifying Sonia’s power over time. Not just that, but adding it on top of the time manipulation that Zelda gave to Link at the beginning of the game.
That’s what’s happening here. This is immensely powerful, triple amplified time magic!
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The change from dragon to Hylian wasn’t a transformation in the same sense that it was when Zelda changed from Hylian to dragon. I know that’s a confusing sentence, but consider the basis of Sonia’s time magic is recalling things as they once were.
Zelda didn’t retain dragon features because, through the power of time reversal, she was never a dragon to begin with.
This is the also the reason the Secret Stone reappeared on her necklace.
This is ALSO the reason Link’s arm reverted to its natural state before he was affected by the gloom.
And before y’all come at me with “well, why didn’t Rauru do that in the first place instead of giving his arm to Link?” Simple; Sonia wasn’t there. Even spirits aren’t omnipotent… in Hyrule. (Probably.)
The point is, this was essentially a lucky break for Zelda and Link, because if Sonia (and therefore Zelda, by inheritance) didn’t have time magic, there would have been no way to undo the Draconification. It would have been every bit as permanent as Hyrule legends and history says it is, and Zelda would be gone forever.
In fact, it’s likely it was a shot in the dark even on Sonia and Rauru’s part, considering there was no prior knowledge of reversing time on a dragon, let alone a person. It was a glorious blend of the convenience of Sonia’s time magic, and luck that it worked out the way they (“they” being all characters involved) wanted.
Anyways, to wrap this up, Draconification is indeed permanent, unless you have the number one badass-master-of-time-manipulation Queen Sonia on your side. Then you can probably undo anything. :)
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saiiidahyunee · 3 months
Text
closer than we've ever been
minatozaki sana x reader ; fluffy, suggestive-ish? 
synopsis: the newsroom is always a good time with your best friend and coworker sana, but maybe there’s something more happening when the cameras aren’t rolling. 
wc: 5.9k
warnings: cursing ; mentions of food and alcohol
♫⋆。♪ ₊˚♬ : closer by rm
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a/n: had a bit of a writing slump the past couple days, but this is one of the two long fics i have planned out and i hope you guys enjoy reading this one!!
sana in a suit sana in a suit sana in a suit sana in a suit sana in a suit sana in a suit omgomgomg its sana in a suit imgonna
“what do you know about journalism?” 
you look up from your laptop, glasses hanging from the slim bridge of your nose as sana sits across the table wearing a proud smile, awaiting for your critical opinion. 
“well it’s competitive, scrappy, and most of the media outlets are at each other’s throats most of the time.” you answer, pulling your specs off of your face as sana straightens herself on the seat outside of a local cafe on your college campus. 
sana leans with her head on hand, staring as you go back to continuing work on your laptop. she was aware that you were editing a short video project that you did all yourself with only a phone and a drone. sana sees the perching eyelashes at the bottom of your eyes, the few strands of hair that hovered over your forehead almost mimicking bangs, flashing your eyes at her again, raising your eyebrows as she squints at you—a defense mechanism of her sort. 
“you should consider taking the internship with the local production team in your editing class.” 
“sana, we’ve been over this, i’m only doing this video recording thing as a hobby.” 
“but imagine the good camera work you’ve shown me!” sana starts off, “you can actually get a good decent paying job with the skills that you have now!” 
you lean back from your laptop again, pondering at the proposition that sana had laid out in front of you. rubbing your chin as you consider the many benefits that might come with the offer. the pay would be fine temporarily, but it was the amount of connections that you can branch out from to get more opportunities to showcase your recording and editorial work—sana was good, she backed you into a corner as you smirked at the thought. 
“you really want to do this news job sana?” you ask sana as her eyes widen at the question, nodding profusely as you let out a soft laugh at her eagerness. 
“trust me y/n, just imagine us working at the same job together. it’ll be great!” 
“alright, i hear ya. where do we sign up?” 
minatozaki sana was a person who was always looking for an adventure. 
the first time you met her was back in your second year of high school as you were a new transfer student that just moved into town. it had already been about two or three weeks into the academic year, but the transition wasn’t that overwhelming for you since you were already accustomed to being moved around different towns in short spans of time. 
“everyone! we have a new student joining us today.” your english teacher announced to the class. mr. taecyeon was very fond and super nice, so just by meeting him in the first few seconds you didn’t have any worry as you stood at the front of the classroom, clutching the right strap of your backpack as you scanned the five rows of faces that gave you faint smiles. 
“nice to meet you all, my name is y/n.” 
sana was sitting in the back of the classroom as she raised her head up, noticing your calm silver voice with her ears, flashing a look as she took note of your outfit as you wore a simple grey hoodie with tan cargo pants. sana also notices that you were a little bit taller than you looked–given that she was sitting down as she leaned over to the right side of her desk to get a better look at you. you notice a person sticking out as you accidentally meet eyes with sana, looking in a different direction right away while mr. taecyeon stood next to you. 
“alright y/n we already have assigned seats, but you can go ahead and have the empty seat next to sana in the back row.” mr. taecyeon instructed, putting his arm out showing you the desk in the fourth row, sana sitting on the right at the back corner. 
you briskly walk over to the back of the classroom, sneakers squeaking lightly as you set your bag down before seating promptly on the chair. you look over to sana as she does the same, both of you smiling as you bow as a way of acknowledging each other's presence before diverting your attention back to the front of the class.
“now, y/n i know that you’re new so don’t worry we’ll get you up to speed in due time.” mr. taceyeon says, holding an open book flatly on his large palm. “for now you can look over to sana’s book that way you can see what we're going over with in the class currently.” 
you and sana both nod at the teacher’s request, scooting your chair over closer to sana as you observe the different items she had on her desk. a hello kitty pencil pouch, a minimal pen with a cat raising its paw up with the tail as the main button to activate the pen, and a small molang rabbit plush sitting upright against the other student’s chair sitting in front of you.
“i like the stationery you have, it’s cute.” you whisper to sana as sana looks at you with a dorky expression.
“why thank you y/n. i appreciate the compliment.” 
you could immediately tell that sana was very bright and charming given the way her voice sounded. she also looked beautiful, easy on the eye, someone that is inviting—you had nothing to worry about as you and her continued to read on the textbook sitting on the desk. 
your eyes trail off to her binder set on the floor, noticing that she had different cutouts of newspaper headlines and quotes. it was peculiar to look at as you tapped her arm to get her attention. 
“what’s with the ripped newspapers on your binder?” 
“i have a thing with old newspaper articles, i want to be a reporter and journalist in the future.” 
you were intrigued with her profession as you nod at the answer question you just received, placing your eyes back on the words of the textbook, reading along as you follow the lecture that mr. taecyeon was giving the class. 
after forty minutes, the bell rang. the hallway now flooding with students scrambling their way to the next class as you and sana walk out of mr. taecyeon’s class, you leading the way as sana sees the small pink kirby keychain hanging from your bottom zipper. 
“i like your keychain choice, i have a friend named mina who plays video games a lot and also likes kirby.” sana says, you turn around to face square with her as a small lump forms in your throat. 
“oh, thank you.” you reply, “i’ve had this since kindergarten so it’s been stuck with me for forever really.” gazing in the sea of heads as you return your face to sana’s. she was wearing an all black outfit with a fitted sweater, her light brown hair contrasting the scheme as beams an appealing smile at you again. 
“where’s your next class y/n?” 
you had to pause for a second before remembering your new class schedule, “i have biology with mrs. jackson upstairs.” you answer, pointing your finger up to the ceiling as sana parts her lips open at your action. 
“ah i see. my locker is actually next to her class, so i’ll walk with you if that’s okay.” 
“i don’t mind at all sana, i actually don’t know my way around the school at all so i need all the help i can get.” you say, breaking into a light laugh. 
you hear her laugh again, matching hers as you two begin to make your way to the set of stairs down the hallway. it was a quick trip, but you definitely enjoyed the company as you reached the bio class on the second floor, sana stopping at her locker right before the classroom.
“i guess i’ll see you later?” you ask sana, backing up into the open door as sana nods at your question.
“do you wanna have lunch together?” sana abruptly asks you, stopping in your tracks at her offer. 
“sure!” you answer without hesitating, “i’ll see you at the cafeteria then?” 
“you bet, y/n. see you at lunch.” 
so that’s how it started really. kind of poetic that sana would be the one to convince you to take the open camerawoman job in the same news outlet that she was working for as a reporter and part-time journalist. 
the years of friendship don’t say enough of how much you and sana have grown close with each other. you and her realize that the bond that was built was one of those rare friendships that isn’t really seen much around these days—almost as if in another universe you and her would always be together somehow. 
sana learned early on that you always had a thing for cameras—recording or taking pictures of anything and everything to capture the moment. you learn that sana was engaged with a lot of the high school extracurricular activities, even being asb leader during senior year of high school. it wasn’t a surprise that she earned the title of “most likely to be a news anchor or reporter” in the yearbook and you egged her on for that. 
separate ways was not an option between you two, so you and sana were extremely happy when you and her got accepted at the same college. you majoring in filmmaking and camera work while sana was dead focused on being a journalist. 
in between those years of hanging out together or with friends, there’s hidden glances of a potential interest—mostly from sana as you were totally oblivious to her looks because it was so natural of her to be bubbly. 
maybe there could be something more, but for now it’s just admiration.
“sana! i want you to meet our newest swinger for the camera crew.” the manager dino says to her as he brings you in front of sana. “y/n here told me that she already knows you-”
“of course dino, we’ve known each other for many years now.” sana says with a small laugh as you look away with one eye closed, smirking with the left side of your face.
“good to know! i’ll leave you with her and you can catch her up to speed, she’ll be accompanying you when you head out with your assigned tasks.” dino says brightly as he bows slightly before scouting the room for another potential person/victim to work with.
while he exits himself, you walk forward, twining your fingers with sana’s as you both freak out quietly in small celebration.
“see?! i told you that your portfolio was a good thing to convince them with.” 
“sana, it was a last minute job opening. i’m even surprised that they hired me on the spot.” you say you hear your name being called over to one of the neighboring cameras.
“y/n, we’re gonna start rolling soon!” you hear one of the workers say to you as you flash a loving smile at sana, hands still entangled with hers. 
“you’re subbing for the anchor?” 
“yeah, but i’ve done it already before once so it happens.” sana replies as she lets go of your hands. 
“see you in the break room?” 
“save a cup of coffee for me.” 
you learn very quickly that the dream news job that sana always talked to you about when hanging out, it was a hidden world that you didn’t think that you’d get hooked into. 
every day in the studio had something new for you to get your hands messy with. one day you had to record behind the main camera for the news desk since the person that was supposed to be on it was out sick. you had no idea how to work the damn thing, but as long as you had the lens pointed at the anchors and there was a big red recording button for you to press, it would be an easy task to do. 
then there was the whole editing room incident, that bumped up your area of expertise that you didn’t even mention when you first applied for the camerawoman job.
“this damn panel is bugging out on me again!” sana hears in the room behind as she walks past it, with a cup of warm coffee in her hand after shooting today’s report for the afternoon. she pops her head in to see a set of legs on the floor, knees pointing upward as she was now curious to see what was the problem. 
“something wrong chan?” sana asks the person laying on the floor, half of their body under the desk as he pops back up to see their well acquainted coworker for roughly about two months. 
“the secondary main computer and this panel here have been tripping out all morning.” bangchan answers, slapping the computer flatly with his hand as he fiddles with the knobs on the mixer set next to the malfunctioning computer. “we’re very lucky that this didn’t trip out during recording just now.” 
“are you sure that it’s the computer and not the main mixer panel?” sana asks bangchan, leaning back on the desk behind her as bangchan goes under again with a flashlight to see if anything was out of place in terms of wires beneath.
“i don’t know, but i called a couple people over already to come look at this so they’ll be here in a bit to see if they’ll fix it.” bangchan answers as sana blows a stream of air through her lips as she was worried that bangchan himself couldn’t fix it. 
you got called to come to the studio on your day off, but given what your friend mark said on the phone with the whole rundown of the situation, you weren’t sure how good of a help you might be. 
walking into the main recording control room, you’re met with a small group of people surrounding the computer as the people make a path for you to walk through. bangchan was sitting with legs crossed like a kindergartener as you look up to see the anchors in the desk behind overseeing the situation, nodding at jihyo and eunbi as they flashed a small wave at you. 
“what’s the situation here?” you ask out loud as you look over to sana, who greeted you with an eye smile before you turned your attention back to bangchan who sighed out in exhaustion.
“the secondary computer has been bugging all this morning.” bangchan answers, “we were able to get today’s afternoon recording in but it could’ve gone bad on the air.” 
“alright, let’s see what we’re working with here.” you say to yourself as you put your vintage dad hat on, cracking your fingers as you began to click and type away on the keyboard, opening up the main program of the computer and skimming through the lines of text before opening different applications to see if everything was working properly. 
sana leans in closely to see you work through the stubborn computer as you look over to the mixer panel, turing it on as the many dials and lights started calibrating and recalibrating, you fiddle with the knobs like bangchan did before you look in one of the other areas of the mixer before shifting over back to the computer and run a subroutine in the main settings window.
“shit y/n, when the hell were you so good with computers?” a worker standing behind you asks as you continue to scan the screen swiftly as you scratch your head for a quick second. 
“i dabbled a bit with some computer work back in high school.” you answer swiping the bottom of your lip with your finger before briskly typing away on the keyboard. “sana can actually vouch for me on that.” you add as all of the workers including the anchors and bangchan look at sana as she simply smiled and nodded. everyone was left in disbelief as the whole group looked back at you staring at the screen still as you did some last minute taps on the keyboard.
“i think i found the problem.” you say as you slide over to the neighboring computer on your left which was the primary computer, doing a few clicks as something popped up on the main screen—it was an editing software that had a previous recording of the news broadcast that was edited, but it appeared that someone was running the program while shooting today that was causing problems. 
“turns out you had the other recording in the backburner of the main recording from today.” you exclaim pointing to the screen, “whoever was on this computer must’ve forgot to close the program before leaving the other day.” 
everyone in the room exclaims in glee as small applauses are heard as you relish in the moment while sitting down. sana watches from a distance while her looks shift a little more differently at you. it didn’t feel weird at all and sana felt the warmth of your smile reach to her cheeks.
remember that unbridled admiration sana had for you? well all of that went out the window and was replaced with a change for something more. and this would kill sana if you found out the realization about this moment from her.
even in the dimly lit room, your smile under the cap had become even more beautiful for sana to stare at as you spin around the group of people in your chair like a kid being surprised at their birthday party. the eyes through your glasses were wider than ufo saucers and even with the hat on it made you infinitely cuter. sana has been friends with you for years but this was the first real instance of her noticing your attractive appearance. 
the way you humbled yourself with the subtle recognition really reflected how you were as a person who didn’t want all of the attention, but when you did, you took that opportunity to really enjoy the moment as you stood up with some of the newsroom workers patting you on the back. jihyo and eunbi tap sana’s shoulder, perking their head as they were going back to the breakroom for more coffee as they started to walk out. sana stands by the door as the blue big screen in the editing room that captured your silhouette, her heart skipping a beat as she looks over at your figure that captured your side profile nicely even with the hat on still. 
sana is a really touchy person. you easily say that she can be touch deprived at times if someone doesn’t reciprocate the same actions that she’s doing. 
you didn’t mind however, since you and sana would walk together when it came to classes, bumping shoulder to shoulder, tapping on your arm if something funny happens, and even just giving or receiving hugs with each other showed the immense closeness you two shared together. 
there’s that one person that you spend a significant amount of time with to know everything about them. from the way that they talk to the way that they act about certain things. maybe you and her meeting that day in english class was a gateway to a deeper connection—more than friends maybe.
maybe. 
you lean back in your ergonomic chair as you stare at the editing software that was on your desktop computer, when you hear the door to your workspace open behind you as you see sana walk in with the oversized comfy hoodie that you bought at costco to use around the house. you wanted to say something about sana stealing it, but in the shared apartment with her, whatever was yours was also hers (to an extent)
“can’t sleep?” you ask sana as she continues to trudge over to you.
sana murmurs as you face her still sitting down on the chair. “you have the ac too cold here y/n.” 
you scoff as you look up at sana who strips off the comfy blanket hoodie, seeing that she was wearing a simple white shirt with pink shorts that were a little too short, but this wasn’t the time to ogle at her figure as press the glasses back up to the top of your nose bridge again. 
“you should go back to bed sana, i have to finish this recording edit for dino’s wife that he asked me to do.” you say raising your hand up to motion sana away from you as she completely ignores your request.
it was so sudden, but it was so normal of her to do.
she parts your arm aside as she straddles you on the chair, her legs going to the other side as she nestles her head onto your shoulder. naturally without a second thought, you rub sana’s back as she quietly whines at you before sighing out in full sleepiness. 
“let me stay with you, you’re warm.” 
you look at the side of her head peripherally, but you kept your mouth shut as you pat the small of her back again, your hand sliding down her waist as she didn’t want to be moved at all as you roll the chair back up with the desk before typing away on the keyboard for the next couple of minutes. 
exhaling out a tired groan, you close the editing program as you wrap your arms around sana’s waist again, letting the warmth embrace settle as you shake her to wake up slightly.
“sana, i finished. you can get off me now.” 
“sana?” 
no answer as you feel her breath on your shoulder sound asleep.
“you were always the light sleeper.” you say as you hold sana from her butt, carrying her in the same position sitting down as you walked to the bedroom next door. 
laying her down gently as she adjusted herself in the mattress and you covered her with the comforter, turning on the lamp to get a good look of her sleeping state. you stare for what seemed like forever as you see her chest rise and fall in calming breaths as you let out a quiet yawn. you stand up before you turn off the lamp on the nightstand, thinking about how sana clinged onto you back on the office chair earlier as you softly smiled at her face.
“cute.” 
you then turn off the lamp and head out to knock out on the couch after.
“do you like y/n?” 
the question left sana completely off guard as she swung her head around to jihyo who gave a subtle smirk at her before sana tsked at her before laughing.
“jihyo, it’s not like that i swear.” 
“oh really? i’ve seen you stare at her multiple times in the last couple weeks. don’t think that i didn’t notice too.” 
“we’re just friends, nothing more.” 
nothing more she says, but both jihyo and sana knew that was the white lie in all of this. 
jihyo leans back on the counter in the break room as she was still not convinced about sana’s answer. 
“are you sure? i’m not saying anything bad but you two look good together.” jihyo says as she reaches over for a cup of water as sana pats her thighs with her hands, letting the wave of nervousness consume her for a quick second. 
“i’m sure ji. besides, i don’t even know what i would do if what you’re saying is true.” 
“it’s something to think about, that's for sure.” jihyo replies as sana definitely feels the flush on her face more, “you never know sana, it’s always the ones you least expe-”
“sana!” your voice breaks the conversation as she turns around to see you at the doorway, thumb pointing to the right side of you as she parts her lips, tongue tangled in her mouth as you were simply smiling. 
“we have all the stuff ready in the van, we’re just waiting on you.” you say quickly before darting away from the door and down the hallway. 
sana raises her hand out to you but lowers it in a small loss as she sighs out, head looking down as she punches her forehead lightly, letting the thought get away from her as jihyo notices this letting an ‘ooh’ come out as sana looks back in annoyance.
“we’re not done with this by the way.” jihyo says with a mischievous grin on her face, “we’ll be talking more about this at dinner later.” 
sana sticks her tongue out at jihyo as she walks out of the breakroom as you and her were assigned to cover a simple story before packing it up for the team dinner just after shooting for dino’s small birthday celebration.
the small shoot went swiftly as expected. sana only had to do the cover story in one take outside city hall and in a quick flash with a change of cars, you two were going to be a little late to the korean bbq dinner that was at dino’s favorite restaurant.
sana is no stranger to your sleek, sporty accord as you zoomed down the highway at a speed that made it seemed you were just gliding on the road. it was really a simple task you were doing, nothing different than the other things you do back home and at work. but this is you that sana was looking at, and you were hitting differently with your one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift. 
a song was softly blasting through the speakers as sana hears the snare of the simple lofi beat, but it was the lyrics that made the ambience in the car a lot more intimate as she hears the lyrics of a woman singing, 
i get a feelin sometimes
that i can’t get close enough to you
i feel most in the nighttime 
even though that’s when i’m closest to you 
if could be under your skin 
closer than we’ve ever been 
we’d be closer than we’ve ever been, oh~
sana reads this in a little too closely as her mind begins to wander at the possibility of how you might really feel about her, but she diminishes that thought away as she looks back at you slightly bopping your head to the song under the passing street lights. 
the car ride went quickly knowing the great driver that you were (sana considers a career in racing for you as a joke) as you parked perfectly at the parking lot of the restaurant and entering inside to see two round tables of grills being occupied by the newsroom workers, dino waving his hand to get you and sana’s attention as you walk towards the lively group. 
the night inside the restaurant was anything short of happy vibes and unrestrained laughs. jihyo and eunbi being the mama birds they were despite being intoxicated as well, keeping a close eye on the heavyweight drinkers as you switched back and forth between conversations. sana was sitting right next to you sharing a laugh with bangchan and another fellow camera crew person with yuki. 
everyone was again left in shock with the amount of shots of soju you had in your system and you were completely fine. you assured everyone that you had a pretty strong alcohol tolerance as you grabbed another bite of the pork belly that was sizzling on the grill. 
sana however, was a lightweight. and it showed.
she looked completely out of it as she was uncontrollably laughing at the stupidest things, grabbing you by the shoulders as she pointed at the tv that was showing a football game that showed a player getting tackled. it didn’t make sense but as long as you were watching sana enjoy herself and being super happy, that was all that mattered. 
you helped sana take off her tailored grey blazer that left her in that nicely fitted light blue dress shirt, rolling up her sleeves as she hummed giddily at the touch of your fingers on her arm. you look at her again as she had her eyes closed, rosy cheeks piercing through her fair skin as helped her drink a cup of cold water to calm her down. 
the what that was emulating on sana’s face was now spreading to yours as you place a hand on your cheek, confused at this funny feeling that you were having. 
sana’s mind was fuzzy at this point, but she was still conscious of the actions she still had little control over as she taps your shoulders twice to get your attention.
“yes sana?” you ask your longtime friend as you fix her hair that was in front of her face. 
“you know that you’re cute y/n.” sana says to you, her speech clearly slurred from the two bottles of soju she downed. 
“of course i know if it’s coming from you.” 
jihyo sits at the other side of the table as she notices that you were taking care of sana, taking advantage of her state as she remembers the conversation she had with sana earlier. 
“hey sana, isn’t there something that you want to tell y/n?” jihyo asks her as she looks at her with squinted eyes, darting your eyes at jihyo as you try to grasp what was going on between those two. 
“oh yeah that i like her?” sana says sloppily as her head dips down. you acting fast as she almost fell over in front of you. the words didn’t register in your head as you pat sana on the thigh to wake her up again. 
“sana, can you tell me that again?” you ask the tired brunette sitting across from you, “what did you talk to jihyo about?” 
sana then grabs your head with both of her hands, molding your face into a duck as she hums cutely again, moving your head left and right as you just let it happen. it wouldn’t be everyday for sana to get drunk with you but it’s what happens next that sends all of the alarms in your body haywire. 
she plants her lips with yours out of completely nowhere, eyes left open as sana pecks your lips for a few seconds, tasting the peach flavored alcohol on her taste buds, scooting her chair closer to you before giving another kiss to your jaw before pulling away. 
“i like you y/n, i’ve been crushing on you for a while now.”
sana says cherrily as you were left in complete shock. you just stared at sana as she just sat there happily, eyes closed as she hummed to the song that was playing above in the restaurant. 
it was already past midnight as you carried sana on your back exiting the restaurant as you still were conversing with dino and jihyo as sana is drowsy on top of you, buzzing her lips and humming as you stand in front of your car facing jihyo and dino. 
“happy birthday again boss, hopefully your wife likes the final video i edited.” you say, lifting sana up to rest her on your back more comfortably.
“thank you y/n and i appreciate the favor with the whole video situation.” dino replies as he puts on his coat and jangles with his car keys. you eye jihyo as she looks at you and sana, nodding her head at you to reconfirm with the supposed confession sana let out to you by surprise. 
“i’ll see you guys at work tomorrow?” 
“you bet, drive safe y/n.” dino says as sana taps your shoulder to get off, straightening herself up as you hold her arm just so that she doesn’t fall. 
“sucks that you gotta play mom mode y/n.” jihyo says to you, giving a light smirk as you roll your eyes at sana’s sleepy state again, brushing a strand of hair away from her face and behind her ear as she still had her eyes closed but still conscious as some of the alcohol she drank started to wear off. 
you help sana into the car, opening the door for her and putting your hand at the roof so that she doesn’t hit her head, sitting down promptly and leaning the seat back as she takes off her shoes to get more comfortable. you then put your blazer and her’s over her as a makeshift blanket as you close the door for a few more moments. 
“jihyo, was what she said back inside true?” you ask her, heart thumping at the thought as it finally settled in your mind—your best friend had a crush on you, but you were finding out about this now but maybe you also had something in regards to her and you just didn’t realize it. 
“yeah.” jihyo replies, “she’ll probably freak out about this tomorrow morning when she’s hungover, but i think you know what to expect y/n.” 
you parted your lips as you softly exhaled, almost relieved because you took sana’s love with so much care as a friend, you didn’t want to worry what comes next because of the notion that your heart was already hers in the first place. 
sana shifts in the passenger seat as you drive on the highway, the car humming lowly on the road. sana then opens her eyes slowly at the image of you driving as you smoothly make turns heading back to your apartment. the speakers were playing the same song you had earlier but sana didn’t realize that the lyrics she heard was just the intro to the song as she hears you faintly sing along with the lofi beat. 
mm, i feel most in the nighttime, yeah 
me never on your timeline, yeah 
see you always in the limelight 
keep me rollin’ in the deep, yeah 
not a tease, no joke, i do mean it 
don’t cease, baby don’t, why you floatin’?
wanna lock you up my sight 
but you run away like fish, yeah~
sana was fond of your nice voice when it came to singing whenever you guys hung out together doing homework or chilling out, but she was surprised that you could rap out the lyrics so seamlessly as she kept her eyes on you in the dark covered by the blazers as you continued to sing. 
the next part of the song was something that you could relate to—as it was the growing crush of your best friend that you were working at the same job at with the same profession. 
you look at sana and not at the road (dangerously) as she meets yours under the blazers, 
i keep you right next to me 
only just in my dream 
i see you in red, blue, green 
don’t wake me up from sleep 
i think i’m losin’ my grip 
everything off the beam 
why you showed up in my life 
like this so sudden, oh god, no~
this rap was more than a message to sana, it was a confession of the years with built up feelings to sana as she smiled under the jackets, trying to contain herself as you serenaded her swoonly. 
sure you were singing at her sleeping body, kinda stupid but it was all so cute and adorable as sana’s eyes fluttered closed off to sleep again. knowing that from this point on you would be the one to carry her to bed after nights like these.
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jessikahathaway · 7 months
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Tainted Love - JJK (M)
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Hello hello everybody!
Here is Demon!Jk as promised~
Thank you to everyone who expressed excitement from the teaser! And a special thank you to my bb Ella (@oddinary4bts) for betaing this fic for me and listening to me scream about Demon Jk on discord for the past month. Love you babes!
Alright, fasten your seatbelts, I went a lil AWOL with this but I hope you all enjoy regardless! Please let me know what you think~
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X F!Reader
Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI)
Genre: Fantasy!AU, Demon!Jk, Witch!Reader, unrequited love, romance, smut, angst, lil fluffy bits in there too.
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, main character death (not permenant), Demon!Jk can be toxic, reader is in love and knows she shouldn't be, darker themes - Jungkook is an old demon and isn't a very happy one, they use each other a bit but they work that out. SMUT WARNINGS: Multiple smut scenes (you heard me), unprotected sex (don't be silly), oral (f and m receiving), creampies, rough sex, emotional sex, standing/wall fucking, Jungkook is pussy whipped confirmed, dirty talk (jungkook and reader freak nasty), switch!Jk and switch!reader, hair pulling, vaginal sex.
Words: 16.4k
Summary: Jungkook sometimes forgets the time. Except the time he's spent with you, he's certain those times he'll remember until the day he turns to dust. As a demon with a time limit on his life, will he let you in? The witch who has shown him tenderness instead of a blade at his throat. Does he trust you with his life? Or will you be too late?
Jungkook sometimes forgets the time. 
And not in the sense of he can’t remember the time of day, or the day of the week itself. No, it’s gotten much worse over his millenia of life. He legitimately doesn’t remember if it’s the 1700s or 2020s some days. Time is a much more relative construct than most people believe. Life isn’t always linear. Things can happen backwards, things can happen too fast or not at all when someone has believed it to be otherwise. 
Jungkook had forgotten the time again today. The smoke of his cigarette rose up above his head and swirled and flowed along with the fan spinning slowly above his head.
He laid on his bed in this dingy apartment that he pays for with money he conjures. Being a demon has its perks. But, to remain under the guise of a regular human, he works at a local mechanics shop. 
He lives life as a typical low level human being. He has a backstory and everything. His parents passed away when he was little and his great aunt cared for him until he was old enough to move out on his own. While away she passed and he’s been alone ever since. This small village had accepted him, unfortunately for them. 
Now, Jungkook was a demon, but that didn’t mean he was wasteful. Nor was he ruthless and bloodthirsty. No, he was nothing of the sort. He was far too old for childish nonsense like that. His temper had almost fizzled out with the will to change his fate for the better. At this point? He’d rather disappear and be done with it all. Constantly looking for new souls to take, it had been exhausting in the beginning, and now? Now he didn’t care really one way or the other. 
He had one year before it all went away. 
One year before he dies.
The reason? Jungkook had betrayed his brethren. His fellow demons sentenced him to a life on Earth until he could fulfill a quota of ten thousand souls. Specifically, ten thousand souls of those who are the victims of the painful fate of unrequited love. As that was his crime.
He loved a human woman, and so? He was forced to kill the poor saps that had fallen into his own trap. 
A painful irony, but Jungkook had quit feeling pain a long while ago. Five thousand years to complete his task, to take ten thousand souls that were suffering the same pain as himself all those years ago. And finally, after far too many years, his task would be ending. And him along with it all. 
He couldn’t find it in himself to care much about himself. He was far too tired.
There was, however, one Earthly pleasure that he’d found himself enjoying. 
You. 
A witch in your own right, a member of the coven in the area. You’d moved in a few years back and noticed Jungkook immediately. He was handsome, he was dark and mysterious. How were you supposed to resist?
Jungkook initially hadn’t taken that much of a liking to you. But you were persistent and perhaps even a little desperate for a friend that knew at least some of your true identity. Jungkook had finally relented on his reluctance and had let you in. Not much, there were things you were certain he would never tell you. Perhaps some things you wouldn’t want to know in the first place. But, it didn’t take long for you two to start fucking after that. 
He was weak for very few things. However, cheap spicy ramen from the convenience store down the street, cigarettes and sex had proven to be nicely distracting.
You were pretty and nice enough, although Jungkook didn’t particularly care for you at first, once you two fucked a few times he could see himself forgiving your little nuisances. They didn’t really matter on the large scale anyways. 
Nothing did, actually.
A knock at the door brought him from his stupor. He didn’t have to work today, he’d be pissed if Hoseok came to ask him to cover again. He’d already done it five times in the past month. He put out his cigarette and moved towards the entrance. With a scowl on his face he answered the door to see your frame standing in the doorway. 
Jungkook raised a brow at you before looking down to see you dressed in your work uniform. You also had a regular job, but you worked as a bartender at the local joint in town. You took notice of his scowl and gave him a playful pout. 
“Aw baby, you look so much cuter when you smile,” you said with a pat to his cheek. Jungkook rolled his eyes but let you in as he saw you carrying his favorite booze in your hand. You set the bottle on the table and went to take your shoes off when Jungkook saw a flash of your panties up your skirt. 
It was Saturday. You and Jungkook usually fucked during the week as it worked best with both of your schedules. It was rare to see you on the weekends, as this was when the most tips came from the bar's patrons. 
“It’s Saturday,” he said, eyes trailing back to your face. 
You’d noticed his staring, but you didn’t care-this is usually what happened when he hadn’t seen you in a while. 
“Does that mean we can’t fuck on a Saturday?” you asked, head tilting to the side. 
Jungkook lit another cigarette. “Why aren’t you working?” he asked, taking a deep drag off the tobacco stick. You smiled at him and Jungkook sighed deeply.
You only smiled like that when you were up to no good. 
“I’m trying to set Sana and Alex up,” you said with that same damned smile. 
“Why the fuck do you want to do that?” he asked, tapping some of the ash off his vice into a glass. 
“Because they love each other, they just need a push to figure it out for themselves. So I asked to take an earlier shift today because we had a date,” you said, walking closer. Jungkook watched the sway in your hips and felt the stirring in his lower stomach. He wouldn’t mind fucking you tonight. It was better than forgetting what time it was. Again. “Plus a few of my sisters from the coven are coming over tonight.”
Jungkook sighed, decidedly ignoring the mention of your coven. “A date, huh?” 
You pouted and he smirked at your disappointment. “What? Can’t I say that’s what it is? Got something against dating me?” 
He inhaled deeply. “Not particularly, but demons and witches don’t mesh well.” 
A sharp jab to your heart, but Jungkook was great at those. Without realizing it, he broke your heart day after day. It was ridiculous honestly, you shouldn’t have fallen for him in the first place. Really, you shouldn’t have. You knew it was wrong. Jungkook wasn’t incorrect when he said witches and demons don’t get along well. Some witches had a strong moral code and demons could go against all of them without even a second glance. 
Jungkook technically could get you kicked out of your coven. 
But he was too enthralled with the fact you put out on the regular and you were too enthralled with him in general.
Overall, it wasn’t the best situation, but Jungkook had done you some favors in the past. Acquiring materials for your coven’s spells, summoning a few extra hundred dollars when you’re short on rent, and giving you an equally satisfying sex life. 
Hopefully, tonight was going to prove no different. 
“You seem to mesh just fine with me,” you said, voice teasing and obviously hinting. 
His eyes flashed a deep crimson at the thought of being able to fuck you. He’d been wound up and needing something besides cigarettes recently. Your body would be a welcomed distraction.
 “I do, don’t I?” he said, voice turning smoother.
Jungkook was an attentive lover, always making sure you came multiple times. As a demon he had good refraction period and was able to fuck you after cumming-sometimes multiple times a day. Especially if you hadn’t been able to come over often enough.
You hadn’t seen him in probably two weeks, you had to travel for a coven meeting. But it seems those two weeks left him needing you. 
He crowded your space, hands winding around your body and squeezing your ass. He rested his head against your collarbone, hiding his face in your neck. Jungkook did this sometimes, almost as if he could shrink his world and thoughts down to just this moment. This space. This breath happening between the two of you. 
You were about to ask if he was alright when he captured your lips in a hungry kiss. You responded, letting him back you up towards the wall. Your thighs clenched at the attention. Jungkook had to be the best sexual partner you’d ever had in your almost one hundred years of life. Being a witch had its perks as well.
He was desperate against your mouth, panting and eagerly licking in between your lips, parting them so he could tangle his tongue with yours. His hands wound up your lower back. 
“Jungkook, baby,” you whined softly, as he swallowed your lips once more. “I gotta be quick today,” you frowned.
“That’s fine, I won’t last long anyways,” he said, already painfully hard in his jeans.
He turned you around, having your palms flat against the wall. “Think you can stand while I fuck you?” He asked, licking his lips at the sight of your ass presented nicely to him in your short skirt.
“Yes-I can,” you bit your lip, mind reeling with the fact you were about to have him again. You and Jungkook fucked fairly often, probably three times a month, sometimes more if he could swing it. And this had been your arrangement for almost a year now.
People at work knew Jungkook, he was a regular at the bar and people often referred to him as your boyfriend. In their minds you two were just young adults figuring out life and it would all work in the end. You two cared for each other-right?
“Hey,” Jungkook said, voice softer. “You there?”
Ah, you slipped into your thoughts again. 
“I’m here, it’s fine-please,” you whimpered, looking over your shoulder at him, the burning in between your thighs causing you pain. Jungkook nodded before flipping your skirt up and tugging your panties down your legs. You were soaked, wetness pulling away with your panties that had Jungkook hissing between his teeth.
“Fuck, do I have time to eat you out? Just a bit? Fuck please,” he begged, kneeling behind you and kissing your ass hungrily. “Let me, I need it baby, please?”
You really did have to be quick, members of your coven were coming over tonight and you’d have to scrub yourself stupid in the shower to not smell like demon. But fuck-when he begged like that?
“Whatever you want,” you said, voice breathless at his eagerness. 
He was so good at getting what he wanted. It always worked with you, and it always would unfortunately.
“Fuck yes,” he groaned, placing his mouth on you in needy kisses. Jungkook’s tongue threaded between your lips and found your clit almost immediately. You cried out and gripped the wall as he ate your pussy like a starved man. 
He liked it.
He liked eating your pussy so much. Honestly, he wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was the flavor, the amount of slick you produced for him, the way you rutted your hips back against him whenever he did it. You made the sweetest noises when he had his mouth on your cunt and now was proving no different. Jungkook almost felt high at the feeling of your wetness collecting on his face.
Maybe it was that part he was addicted to. Or maybe it was worse than that. In times like this, he really could forget. He could forget he was a demon, not many people willingly share this much of themselves with a demon and know the consequences. But as a witch, you knew what would happen if your coven found out. You knew and yet? You still let him in. You let him touch you and fuck you. All of it.
“Kook~” you cried out, head pressing against the wall. “Please, gonna cum,” you whimpered out. 
Damn, he was hoping to get a little more than that. The next time you came over he was going to want to eat your pussy for hours.
“Then cum for me, baby, get yourself nice and wet for my cock,” he said.
You didn’t need much today, you were just as needy as he was. Probably more so. A few more heady sucks of his lips and you were cumming.
“Jungkook-fuck,” you gasped. He smirked and stood up, licking his lips as he undid his jeans. You panted harshly against the wall, mind whirling in pleasure.
“That’s it, pretty thing,” he cooed, approaching with his now crimson eyes. You knew he must be needing this if he’s so worked up already. 
“Please baby, give me your cock?” you asked, reaching behind you to grab the front of his undone jeans. Jungkook followed easily when you tugged, your hand dipping underneath the fabric to grasp his cock. He sighed in pleasure, pushing his pants down further and head tilting back just a touch. He pushed his boxers down as well, freeing his cock entirely before you smiled back at him and taking him in your hand once more. 
“Fuck, yes,” he said, voice turning raspy and dark. 
You winked and pumped him a few times before lining him up with your dripping core. He hadn’t stretched you but you wanted the burn today. “Fuck me then,” you said, inviting him inside you once more. 
Jungkook held your hip as he started to lead his cock between your lips. “You wet enough?” he asked, raising a brow at you.
Such a smug bastard. But his cock was big enough he needed to ask-because he didn’t want to hurt you. His demonic nature was there, but honestly hurting someone that had continuously done him favors didn’t seem that important.
“Y-Yeah,” you whimpered, rubbing against him. “Please put it in, want your thick cock in me so bad Jungkook!”
He nodded, finally pushing in just a touch. You whined, head falling back as you felt the full sensation begin. Jungkook growled out at your tightness gripping his cock just right, giving him the rush of tingles down his spine. He gave gentle thrusts into your heat to ease you open, although you were really squeezing him today and his eyes rolled back in his head at the sensation of your sweet cunt letting him in inch by inch. 
“Fuck I love your pussy,” he groaned, rolling his hips into yours fully. 
“Love your cock,” you cried, walls clenching down on him harshly. Jungkook couldn’t stop his reaction of bucking into you roughly. You let out a sharp cry at his cock hitting deeper than usual.
“Sorry baby, m’sorry,” he murmured against your skin, kissing your neck and shoulder. Moments like that were the ones you remembered with pain in your chest. The way he easily apologized for the slightest harm to you. All except the harm to your heart.
You shook your head. “It’s okay, don’t worry-just, oh! G-give me more!” 
He didn’t need to be told twice, holding your hips he started thrusting inside of you with firm pushes. He huffed in his own pleasure, watching your puffy pussy swallowing his cock with each rut forward. “Look so good like this, take my cock so well,” he sighed, the sweet sensations of your warm, wet walls sucking him in had shivers rocketing down his spine and pooling heat in his stomach. 
“Cock so good, made to take it baby, love having you inside me like this,” you mewled. Jungkook smirked at your pleasure cries reaching his ears. 
“Made to take me huh?” he asked, giving harsher thrusts inside of you and watching as your face morphed into shocked pleasure. 
“J-Jungkook!” you sobbed out.
He was panting against your skin, thrusting inside you with eager pushes of his hips against your ass. The sound of skin slapping echoed through his apartment.
Jungkook could barely think at this point in sex. He was driven by your high pitched cries and the boiling need in his stomach. “Cum baby, cum all over my cock. Gonna let me cum inside today baby?” He teased, huffing sex driven laughter across your throat while he bit down.
“Mmm~ah! Y-Yeah, it’s fine, I have the potion for it,” you cried, grabbing his hand that was gripping one of your hips. He wound the other around your front to start playing with your clit to get you there faster.
“Then I’m gonna fill you up baby, feel it dripping inside of you huh? Wanna cum baby, fuck I really want it, say I can have it,” he groaned.
He loved hearing you beg for his cum. It did something to him, made his high that much sweeter because you pleaded for it. You wanted him that badly. There was something hot about having your watery eyes beg with his to finally let you cum. 
“You can, you always can baby,” you promised, holding his wrist while he pounded inside you brutally. 
Jungkook smiled against your skin before husking permission to cum against your jaw. With a deep gasp you came, Jungkook following not too shortly after. Your pussy milking him with each pulse of your afterglow. 
“Thank you-fuck, oh baby,” you shivered against him, leaning into the kisses he trailed along your shoulder. 
“Fuck give me a second, I came so hard,” he said, slumping against you while he pressed you against the wall with him still inside of you. But soon enough you felt him soften and with a deep sigh he pulled from you.
You shivered as his cum trickled down your thigh. 
“Ah shit, sorry baby,” he said, running to grab a few tissues. You panted softly against the wall, keeping yourself steady so as not to make a mess. He came back and helped you clean up a bit and offered you his shower. 
“Can’t, got sisters coming over tonight, if I shower here they’ll smell demon on me from a mile away,” you stated. “But thanks,” you said with a smile. 
He nodded, sitting at his tiny coffee table smoking a cigarette. 
Jokingly, you teased him. “Those’ll kill you one day,” you said, pulling on your shoes. 
Jungkook’s face didn’t smile like you were hoping. Although it rarely did, you felt the difference. He was… upset?
“No, I’ll be dead by next year regardless,” he whispered. 
The room went eerily quiet. Your heart was hammering in your chest. What did he mean he would be dead by next year?
“What the fuck does that mean?” You said, walking towards him in concern. “The fuck do you mean you’ll be dead by next year?”
Jungkook wasn’t phased by your anger. You hardly knew his story and he preferred to keep it that way. Because he knew this would be your reaction. And he hated fighting with you. It never made any difference. 
“Didn’t you find a demon, on its own-no contracts or groups or general mayhem happening-a little odd?” He asked, putting out his cigarette.
You swallowed thickly. It was odd. But you weren’t going to argue with a good thing and, perhaps you’d hoped that there was maybe just a happy coincidence, for once.
Of course you were wrong.
Naïveté hadn’t served you well in the past and it seemed to stomp your heart once again in this long life of yours…
“I never found you odd, Jungkook,” you said. 
“You should’ve.”
Your heart was racing making your next words slightly frantic. “What’s wrong with you, huh? What’s going on? Are you finally gonna tell me?”
He sighed deeply. He hated the sound of your voice right now. You sounded like you were going to cry, and he didn’t want to make you upset. Watching you cry was painful. 
“I have a quota of souls to collect. If I don’t collect all of them by the time set-I disappear,” he said. “The souls of those who know unrequited love.”
Your throat felt dry at his statement. What could you say to that? Was there anything to be said? It’s not like you two were dating, it’s also not like you ever could with you being in the coven.
“How many souls do you have left?” You asked, voice sad. 
“Ten,” he breathed.
Ten. Ten souls before next year didn’t seem crazily difficult. But the specificity did complicate things.
You nodded. “Okay, I’ll help you,” you said. 
Jungkook’s head snapped to you, and he stood quickly. “Don’t fucking say that,” he said, voice shaking with anger. 
“But why not? Why can’t I help you? I have the ability to find souls like that, we can travel and you can collect.” You explained. 
“We?” He asked, raising a brow. “You really think I trust you enough to let you do that? How do I know you wouldn’t take me right to that coven of yours?”
You felt your heart break. “Is that what you think I would do?” You said, voice sad and in disbelief. Jungkook knew it was a low blow, but he had to get you to leave if this is where this conversation was going.
He didn’t like hurting you, or your feelings. It usually wasn’t necessary but sometimes you dug too deep, and he had to back you off somehow.
“The fuck is your problem you asshole,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes. “All I did was ask to help you, is it so wrong that I actually want you around? That I actually like hanging out with your crabby ass… call me when you’re not being a massive dickhead” you said, grabbing your bag but intentionally leaving the booze. All it would do was make you think of him anyway. Jungkook was about to call out your name but you slammed the door right in the middle of his sentence.
“Fuck…”
He knew that wasn’t fair, he knew that he shouldn’t have snapped at you like that but… sometimes you did get too close. Jungkook knew what his end would be, and there wasn’t anything you or he could do about it.
At least, nothing he wanted to do about it…
You hadn’t spoken to Jungkook in a week or two now. He hadn’t reached out and you weren’t particularly interested in fighting with him again, not right now. He really did hurt your feelings… He could trust you, you wondered briefly what it would take for him to listen. To hear that you wanted him to collect those souls. 
You were just as damned as he was, you knew that. Even more so if your coven discovered what you were up to in your bedroom. And heart…
Just as you were about to suck it up and call him, your phone rang. It was a number you didn’t immediately recognize, but the area code was local.
“Hello?” You answered. 
“Hey, Y/N?” Hoseok’s voice echoed through the phone. Hoseok was a fellow mechanic at the shop Jungkook worked at. 
But what would he be calling for?
“Yeah? What’s up Hoseok?” You asked.
“Um… Jungkook, he collapsed at work, he might need to go to the doctor but we’re slammed. You’re his emergency contact so I’m calling you to let you know what’s going on?” His voice sounded worried and confused. Jungkook never got sick, he was a demon, but they didn’t know that. They just knew he was a healthy young guy. 
But this was odd. 
“I’ll be right there,” you said, hanging up and grabbing your keys.
The drive through town was relatively quiet, but when you got to the shop you could see that there were several people waiting for their usual tune ups and repair work.
You walked in and Ashley, the receptionist, smiled at you. “Hey Y/N, thanks for coming. Jungkook’s in the office with Namjoon,” she said softly.
With a nod you headed back towards the office. You heard Namjoon speaking to Jungkook, but it seemed like he was either not responsive or just choosing to ignore him. The latter seemed more probable. Namjoon was the head mechanic at the shop and ran it for his friend Chen who owned a couple different car places throughout the area. 
You opened the door and Jungkook’s head turned towards you. “Baby,” he called. You tried to keep the smirk off your face but you crossed your arms and leaned back against the door.
“Oh, so now I’m your baby?” You said, running your tongue along your teeth with an unimpressed look on your face. Jungkook sighed heavily, knowing that you were going to be pissed with him, he was lucky you came at all. Especially after how he treated you the last time you two saw each other. 
Namjoon sighed, used to the bickering and sour looks shared between the two of you here and there. “I don’t know what caused it Y/N, but he seems pretty sick. He might need to go to the doctor.”
Jungkook was about to protest when you nodded. “I’ll take him,” you said. His eyes flashed red in annoyance but it was brief. 
“Chen’s already given him the rest of today and tomorrow off,” Namjoon said. “So hopefully that’ll give him some time to recoup, but if he needs more just have him give us a call.”
You nodded, reaching for Jungkook’s hand. He took it, sitting up slowly. You read his energy and found yourself immediately concerned. He seemed to notice your worry and sighed deeply before standing and leaning against you. Without much more ceremony you ledhim to your car.
Neither of you said much as you got him in and started off towards his place. You would have to do an energy transfer for him tonight, luckily it would just take a few potions or a spell to replenish his energy, sex worked as well but ultimately the cause had you concerned. 
His human body was starting to deteriorate.
When you arrived you grabbed him and helped get him inside his house.
He was panting softly and laid back on his bed in a huff.
“You need energy,” you whispered, leaning forward to give him some of yours to ease some of his pain. Jungkook turned his head to keep your lips from connecting in the way he needed. “You’re being a shit, either let me help you or delete my number.”
Jungkook frowned, swallowing hard before turning his head so your lips could connect. He breathed deeply in relief as your energy flowed through him softly. Your energy had always been soothing to him, but right now it seemed to help immensely.
He’d missed you.
When you moved to pull away he grabbed you by the back of your neck and connected your lips again. You kissed him with a gentleness that he wasn’t used to, your lips gliding over his softly and with a warmth that was addictive. 
He loved your bites and eager kisses but this… This had things stirring in his stomach that frightened him.
Jungkook was afraid of very few things. But your genuine care for him scared him most of all. Because he knew he didn’t deserve it. Jungkook wasold and angry and yet, more exhausted than anything.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and settled in his lap. Kissing him a bit more to relax him. The energy would settle soon enough and he would at least be able to tell you what happened. 
“Baby,” he called, voice raspy and tired.
“Yes, Kook, what’s wrong?” You cooed, running your hands through his hair to ease him into accepting your energy. The more he fought it the less it would work. “Relax baby, I can’t help if you don’t let me.”
He nodded, head dropping into your neck as he simply tried to feel you. It had been a long time since he’d needed a transfer from you but each time he always forgot how easy you made it. 
“Good job, sweet boy,” you praised, kissing his cheek and temple.
Jungkook sighed heavily against your skin, placing tender kisses there as well. “Can I have more energy baby… please?”
You smirked. “Do you want the potions? I know they taste bad but they work, or we can do a direct transfer through sex-”
“Yes,” he said quickly. 
You chuckled softly before nodding. “That’s fine then, lay back baby,” you said, undoing his belt and getting his pants unbuttoned. 
“Fuck,” he sighed, head tipping back in bliss as you touched him. He felt encompassed by you and your soothing energy.
Your hand slipped in his pants and squeezed his cock gently to encourage him to harden. Your kisses on his jaw and neck stayed sweet but they were firmer, something told you he needed to be babied today. And even though it was rare, you adored it every time. You pushed his pants down further so they wouldn’t be in your way, sending him a look as you spat on his cock. You wrapped your hand around the shaft and pumped slowly, watching the pleasure write across his features. 
“F-Fuck, yeah-ah,” he whimpered, eyes shut and brow furrowed in ecstasy.
“Getting so hard so fast, gonna feel so good in my pussy baby,” you cooed, taking his hand and leading it under your skirt. 
Jungkook’s eyes practically sparkled at the fact you were so wet. “Soaked-you’re soaked angel,” he moaned, touching your core carefully.
You hiccuped a soft sigh of pleasure before leaning down and taking his cock in your mouth. Jungkook’s breathing stammered at your hot and wet throat swallowing his cock.
You’d always done it so well, and Jungkook could say he would die happily if you were sucking his dick. “F-Fuck, angel, please-mmm,” he groaned, his other hand gently caressing the back of your head. “Sweet tongue, feels so fucking good.
You swirled your tongue around the head of his cock before eagerly swallowing it again. Jungkook’s submissive whines had you clenching your thighs together as his fingers snuck inside your panties.
“O-Open your legs-please, wanna touch your pussy, need to feel you,” he whimpered.
Without much ceremony you did as he asked, opening your legs to let him touch you. Jungkook moaned at the feeling of your slick heat against his fingers, he plunged two inside of you causing your throat to tighten around his cock, giving him a rush of heady pleasure down his spine. He could feel you everywhere. Your energy coursing through him, your hot mouth on his dick and your juicy pussy dripping down his fingers. He was quickly getting overwhelmed in the best way. He wanted more of you, more and more until there was nothing left to give. He wanted to give you more too.
He desperately wished he could sometimes.
“Koo~” you moaned on his cock, rutting your hips gently to remind him you were currently soaking his hand and needed some stimulation or you were going to lose your mind. 
“Yeah angel baby, soaking pussy feels so good...”
You whimpered on his cock, using the vibrations to pleasure him that much more. But his fingers were working so much slick from your core you knew you needed to have him inside or you were going to go insane. He cried out when you pulled away, eyes wide with need. You kissed him then, giving him a touch more energy to help ease his frantic breathing. He shivered when you climbed on top of him, your warmth and wetness seemingly everywhere. 
“Ready baby? Want me to put you in?” you asked, tugging your panties off and slipping your skirt down and off of your legs. 
Jungkook nodded quickly. “Please, please baby let me feel you,” he said, reaching for you as you crawled back into his bed. You smiled and rubbed yourself against his cock teasingly for a moment before Jungkook looked about ready to cry. 
“Alright sweetie, I’ll stop teasing now, take what you need,” you said, easing yourself down on him. Jungkook’s hands settled at your hips, huffing out desperate breaths of pleasure as your tight heat swallowed his sensitive cock. 
“Yes! Yes fuck, feels so fucking good angel, oh baby,” he cried, sounding wrecked already. 
You had a feeling you would be doing most of the work today, so you started gingerly bouncing on his cock. Jungkook’s eyes were sparkling, turning a soft purple color as your magic intertwined with him. You had been training for years to have this level of mana and Jungkook knew he’d only scratched the surface of your abilities on days like this.
Sometimes he wondered how strong you really were. You handled him like you weren’t afraid of him or his powers. Albeit his strength was significantly less than it was back in hell.
Even then though, he was curious.
“Fuck~ Jungkook!” you whined, grinding your clit on his lower stomach. “Please, please baby, wanna make you cum,” you pleaded. “Cum inside me baby, please? Give me your cum and I’ll take it like such a good girl. Your good girl Kook,” you said, reaching down to play with yourself.
Jungkook groaned in pleasure. “So close baby, so close-ah fuck!” he gritted out through his teeth.
“Gonna fill me up? Please give it to me, Jungkook. Wanna have your cum so deep inside.”
He couldn’t hold it back anymore, Jungkook sat up and pulled you close as he rutted deeply in your pussy for a few quick thrusts before he shivered in release. You felt your core pulsing at his whimpers and whines from the pleasure your body gave him. His head was flush against your chest as he panted.
You smiled, running your fingers through his hair to soothe him. Your energy was mellowing nicely with his giving him more color in his face that eased your own heart. “Kook,” you said softly. “D’you feel okay?” you asked, hips and thighs burning from the effort to fuck him, but the pleased look on his face made everything worth it in your mind. 
“You didn’t cum,” he said, reaching down to touch your sensitive clit. He was still decently hard inside of you, but you knew he didn’t have long. “Wanna make you cum angel,” he said, rolling his hips up into your gingerly.
“Mmm, baby,” you called in a pitched tone. “Won’t take much, I’m so close,” you hiccuped, resting your head on his shoulder. 
Jungkook grunted, his cock was sensitive but your sweet moans kept him up long enough to feel that tight squeeze from your pussy and the rush of slick that soaked his cock in response. “Fuck, yes, yes give it to me,” he begged. 
You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly. You scanned his energy quickly and felt relieved to know it was almost back to normal. “Thank you baby,” you said, patting his cheek with a dizzying smile. 
“It’s not as good if you don’t cum, love feeling you squeeze me,” he sighed in bliss, your warmth still holding his cock nicely. 
Sometimes he liked this. He liked just feeling your body against his, his cock inside you for a few moments after you both came. You got wetter and slicker and your walls felt so nice on his cock he thought it would make him cum again some days. 
You smoothed your hands down his back, holding him close as your energy finally settled and his eyes changed back to their regular brown color. 
With wobbly knees you got up and headed towards his bathroom. 
Jungkook laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. He wanted a cigarette but he’d run out the night before.
You came back and stood before him. Jungkook could see up your skirt and he was trying not to focus on that as you stood there with a waiting expression.
He inhaled deeply. “I know you read my energy. You know what’s happening to me,” he said.
“I want to hear you say it to me,” you stated.
Jungkook nodded, agreeing with your demands of honesty. Finally.
“Not all demons are without humanity. Some have more than others, yet I always seemed to stray towards more rather than less… there was a woman, I slowly found things I liked about her. Then things I enjoyed… then things I found myself smiling about on my own. I was endeared to this woman… I loved her in a sense,” he said, staring at the ceiling.
“And yet, it wasn’t enough,” he breathed. “My fellow knights laughed at me, then berated me for genuinely showing care towards a human. As one of the high knights of hell I was expected to have higher standards than disgusting humans. So they bound me in a human body, locking most of my powers away, so I would no longer be able to communicate with the human I once cared for. And then I was given the quota I told you about… and five thousand years to make it happen. If I didn’t collect a thousand souls then I cease to exist, it’s starting. My timer is running out.”
You swallowed thickly. “How do I help you stop it? How do I help you?”
Jungkook gave you a tired smile. “Baby, I don’t want to ask that of you. I’m so old now, this life doesn’t matter to me anymore.”
You felt a few tears well up in your eyes despite yourself. “It fucking matters to me…” you whimpered. “You matter to me.”
Jungkook was stunned. “Y/N,” he said, reaching for you.
You sat on the bed next to him. “I don’t want you to disappear. What will happen if you collect all one thousand souls?”
“I will be reinstated in Hell,” he murmured. “I won’t disappear and I will be back to full strength once more.”
You swallowed hard, nodding your head. Either way you’d lose him, but at least one way he’d still be alive… “Then let me help you, I don’t want to see you die like this.”
Jungkook sighed deeply. He’d never had many friends. He had people he kept around for convenience, but overall he’d kept to himself throughout the years. You were the only one in recent history that he’d told anything to. Perhaps he could truly do this. He could be reborn in hell once more.
And when he got back to hell… he could rip those knights apart for what they put him through…
He nodded. “I’ll need your help,” he said.
“You have it,” the words fell easily from your lips. “I won’t let you die like this.”
“Then I won’t.”
Jungkook hadn’t expected you to take this so seriously. And yet, here you were in his apartment. You had your glasses on and were gazing at your spellbook as a potion boiled on the stove. Jungkook alway thought you used a cauldron.
‘You think my tiny ass apartment could fit a cauldron?!’ You’d cried in annoyance at his teasing.
So here it bubbled and boiled and no doubt would cause trouble for Jungkook when he would ultimately have to clean it later.
“Baby,” he called, moving closer to you with your cup of coffee.
You’d stayed the night last night-Jungkook may have fucked you stupid enough he was worried about you driving. There weren’t any sisters of the coven stopping by soon so you could spend the night wrapped in his sheets. And you did exactly that.
You had ten months and twelve days to complete the task Jungkook had been given.
Ten more souls in ten months.
You’d already gotten a list together of possible cities you could look into. Once you had your potion perfected, Jungkook could go out and find his prey with minimal difficulty.
You took the cup from him, setting your spellbook aside as he sat across from you on the couch. You sighed and removed your glasses, rubbing your sleepy features before taking a sip of the hot coffee.
Jungkook watched you and gave your knee a squeeze. “Don’t use up too much energy baby. I’ve got ten months,” he said.
“Ten months isn’t a long time for a witch, nor is it for a demon, we need to work quickly before your condition progresses,” you said, drinking more of your coffee.
Jungkook crawled forward, taking your coffee from you which caused a pout to befall your features. He set your coffee down and crawled on top of you, laying his head right under your chest. He’d crawled between your thighs and was lying entirely over you.
“Need more energy?” You asked, running your fingers through his hair. 
“No, I’m fine,” he said, resting against you.
You chuckled before resting back, hand still playing with the hair on his head. Recently, Jungkook had been craving these more than his cigarettes. Simple touches, soft kisses and conversations. Jungkook had never felt so at ease before. Even in his life as a knight of hell.
Jungkook rested heavily against your stomach, laying in between your legs. You knew this could be a side effect of your energy transfer-but it had been a while since he’d needed one. Usually the clinging from your energy would dissipate in a day or two.
It had been at least a week at this point. So what made Jungkook so snuggly? You didn’t want to complain about a sweet thing however.
Jungkook leaned into you more, curling around you as you kept rubbing his scalp. He seemed happy to just stay like this for a while. And you wondered what was causing such a change in him. Was this what he was like with those he trusted?
Sweet and softer?
Or was this purely for you-
No.
You couldn’t think that way, not about Jungkook. Either way this ended with him leaving you… you had to keep focused, you were doing this for your friend.
Your truest friend.
Jungkook snoozed on your belly, content to laze about while you did the hard work. But your heart broke a little more that day.
As you slowly started to fall for a man without a soul.
--
You’d been stressed today. 
Jungkook could tell that you were just by the cute frown on your face, it seemed to have a permanent place on your pretty features today. It always appeared when you were frustrated or angry. He’d seen it directed at him several times, but right now it was at the potion you were working on. 
There was a new ingredient you were sampling in it or something to that effect, Jungkook didn’t really understand much of what you were doing to be honest. But it was clear you were stumped for now. It was almost two o’clock in the morning.
“Y/N...” he trailed off, approaching as you sighed deeply.
Jungkook rarely said your name, so to hear it come out you knew whatever he said next he either was serious. 
“Time to take a break,” he whispered, standing behind you in his kitchen. There were bags of ingredients all over the kitchen and it would no doubt be left there until later when you two woke up. You’d been staying at his place more and more lately and he couldn’t find it in himself to complain. He had access to your sweet lips and body daily, but it seemed rare that he wanted sex recently. Not that he wasn’t attracted or he was disinterested, it was merely there were other things about you that he was finding more and more interesting. Sex would always be one of his favorite activities with you, but right now he felt that he was learning new things about you everyday. It had him excited in ways he hadn’t been in centuries. 
It also had him concerned. 
Jungkook was a demon, he shouldn’t be having feelings like this. It almost shouldn’t be possible. It was not in his design to care much about people or have interest in them other than striking deals and killing them to collect their souls. 
But Jungkook pushed all of those worries and thoughts to the back of his head. 
Because your frown had appeared again, and that sweet pout he wanted to kiss. 
“I’ve almost got it,” you said, voice soft and sleepy. 
“I’m sure you do baby, but you’re tired and you won’t work well when you’re falling asleep,” he said, kissing your shoulder. “Come to bed...”
You leaned back heavily against him, looking up at his face while you sighed. With a tired smile you patted his cheek. 
“I don’t want to give up for the night yet, you go to bed, I’ll join you in a bit...”
Jungkook wasn’t going to take that for his answer. So he turned the burner on his stove off and lifted you into his arms deftly. You didn’t have it in you to fight him, you expected this result anyways. 
He laid you in bed and crawled in next to you. He pulled you into his embrace and sighed heavily as you snuggled in. He wrapped you up in his arms and you looked at his expression and gave him a smile. A real one. In reward he returned it, kissing your lips before laying back on the pillow. 
“Sleep baby, we can try again in the morning.”
His words soothed something inside of you, the desperate thirst to have this potion done so you didn’t waste any more precious time. 
You could waste a little time though, right?
Here in his arms you thought you could waste a lot more time than you had...
A weekend trip to the city was easy to conceal from your coworkers and sisters. You claimed you wanted a weekend away from coven activities-which was a bold-faced lie as you would be using magic in public which was almost exclusively forbidden. And doing it to help a demon. 
Needless to say you hoped no one in your coven ever found out about this.
Jungkook grabbed his bag and tossed it into the back of his car as he got your stuff in too. “Got my keys baby?”
You tossed them across his car and he caught them, moving into the drivers side and opening your door for you. You climbed in and buckled up and shortly thereafter you were on the road.
You and Jungkook turned on a playlist and drove out of the town's limits and made it to the highway. Jungkook changed the playlist and you two settled in for a while.
After a bit, Jungkook reached over and grabbed your thigh, driving with one hand on the wheel. You looked down at his hand before gazing back at him.
“What?” You asked softly.
Ten months and three days. That’s how long you had left.
“Just wanted to.” 
Your mouth curved into a shy smile before you placed your hand on his, afterwards your fingers intertwined in your lap.
Soon, you rolled into the city. Jungkook had gotten a decent hotel room for a few days for you two to have a home base. You’d find sections of the city where the next soul was and Jungkook could go out at night and collect.
His powers made it discrete however. Usually the attack was made to look like a natural cause. Rarely did it arouse suspicion. All by design.
When you two made it to your hotel room, Jungkook was quick to attach himself to you. He’d been less interested in solely gaining sex from you recently. However it had been a while since your last romp.
His lips found your neck as you tried to get your stuff out of your bag.
“Kook, what do you want?” You huffed as his hard length brushed against your ass. An aroused shiver rushed through you, sex being a little less frequent between the two of you had you more sensitive to his touch than usual.
“Wanna fuck baby, please?” He asked, rutting against your core softly.
You rolled back against him, unable to help yourself in this instant. His body felt so good and you were more than willing to have him between your legs.
“Yes, fuck me, Kook,” you breathed.
Jungkook didn’t waste much time, he hooked his fingers in your pants and pulled them down quickly. Your panties were damp and Jungkook purred at the sight. “You’re so wet baby,” he smiled, his hand dipping in your panties while he kissed your jaw.
You couldn’t help the soft juts of your hips into the cup of his pelvis, causing your ass to grind against his cock. “Fuck… Jungkook,” you whined, head rolling back on his chest. A soft chuckle escaped him at your needy tone.
“Yeah, m’gonna fuck you so hard baby,” he said. His fingers found your wet folds, sinking two inside your entrance shallowly, causing you to clench desperately.
You held his wrist, whimpering in need. “Please, please,” you panted. “Need something inside. Need you inside me, Kook.”
Jungkook kissed your jaw, a smile on his face. “Want my cock baby? Want it in that sweet little pussy?”
“Yeah~” you pleaded. 
With a deep sigh Jungkook took his hand from inside your panties, tasting your slick and moaning. 
“I need to eat your pussy first,” he said, turning you around and laying you on the bed. You laid back on the bed, peeling your legs open so that he could lay between them. Jungkook grabbed your panties and tossed them away. He breathed out in an eager pant. His eyes were locked on your core and then he looked at you. 
“Wanna eat it baby?” you asked, smiling at his hungry eyes. 
“Yeah,” he whined. “Let me have it, please baby let me eat your pretty pussy. Make you cum so nice,” he said, licking his lips.
Jungkook looked at your core, furrowed brows as he seemed as if he was almost in pain. “Please…”
You nodded. “Okay baby,” you said with a grin. “Take it then.”
He captured your lower lips in a hot kiss, moaning deeply as he licked between your folds to gather more of your sweetness that had him addicted. “Fuck… yes,” he groaned, moving to hold your thighs apart so he had better access to your dripping core.
“Kook!” You whined, head falling back on your shoulders as your fingers wound into his hair. “Fuck, fuck your mouth!” You cried.
Jungkook was eager to eat, it seemed that no matter how much time he spent between your legs it wouldn’t be enough. He’d always wish for one more minute, your sweet cunt on his mouth and your wetness gathering on his tongue had his cock pulsing in need. But he didn’t care about that, getting you soaking wet for his cock was all that was on his mind.
He took your clit between his pretty lips and started sucking harshly. He swirled his tongue around your sensitive bud before going back to suck again. You mewled in pleasure, thighs trembling at his heady touches. His middle and pointer fingers rubbed over your core before catching at your entrance. With a soft smirk he pushed his two fingers inside your hot walls. 
“Jungkook!” you cried, grabbing his hair harshly. He just moaned in acknowledgment, happily slurping the wetness you leaked as he thrust his fingers in and out of your pussy slowly. His eyes shimmered at the sight of your slick coating his digits as it always did. 
“I love your pussy so much, fuck,” he growled, lips and chin covered in you. 
“So close, Jungkook,” you begged, the throbbing in your walls a clear sign of your oncoming orgasm. 
He smirked again, before pulling away. You were about to cry for him to keep going when you heard him unbuckling his pants. With eager hands you moved forward to grab at him, pulling him closer as he chuckled at your neediness. 
“Don’t laugh at me,” you scowled.
“Sorry baby,” he cooed, kissing your jaw. “Gonna make you squirt on my cock to make up for it huh?”
You felt the rush of his words tingle down your spine. He rarely didn’t mean what he said. And you were his good girl. If he wanted you to squirt on his cock then so be it.
You two quickly got worked up as Jungkook kissed you breathless and you tugged his pants down his thick thighs. He pulled his shirt off of his body and your eyes always widened. His tattoos were on full display and his toned body moving on top of you had stars forming in your eyes. 
“You’re such a slut for a hot body,” he smirked, eyes dark and swirling with red undertones. 
“I’m a slut for your hot body, yes,” you corrected. His eyes widened at your statement, but you were pumping his dick in your hand and he quickly felt his need for you taking over. 
“Then let me put it in,” he sighed, naked now.
You were pulling your bra off when Jungkook leaned close. You looked at him in bewilderment for a moment before you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. 
There was this... sensation in Jungkook’s chest. Your bright eyes, teasing smile and sweet kiss encasing him and making him feel...
Lighter.
You laid back once you were naked as well and Jungkook moved eagerly to get in position. You giggled as he dragged you closer, adjusting you so his cock was now level with your pussy.
“Gonna put it in now baby,” he said, pushing just the tip of his cock inside before pulling out. You cried in impatience and Jungkook nodded, listening to both of your desires and pushing in further. Your fingers gripped the sheets of the bed and Jungkook rubbed your clit with his thumb to ease any tension from you so you could take him easily. He pulsed inside your cunt, a shiver of bliss running down his spine. It felt like electricity flowing through him. Your pussy was warm and snug around his cock and he could feel your wetness leaking down onto his balls already and he smiled. 
“Jungkook! Please, please move,” you whined, eyes watery and pretty. 
“Yes angel baby,” he agreed, thrusting inside of you with a steady pace. 
The two of you moaned in appreciation of the other. Jungkook’s thick cock filled you in every way you wanted and needed, hitting all the right fucking spots. You’d never had another partner make you feel this way in the over one hundred years of your life. You clenched tightly and Jungkook swore he almost lost his fucking mind. He grabbed your thigh as he ground his pelvis against yours after every other thrust, holding himself up with the other hand. He was rewarded with your decadent cries.
“Fuck! Jungkook, fuck me baby, please, more-I need more,” you begged, grabbing his upper back and shoulders desperately. 
Your wish was his command. He moved your thighs so your knees touched your ribs and started fucking you harder. The sound of your wet pussy swallowing him filled the room and he could hardly think. The only thing driving him was your cries and the pulsing in his lower stomach. 
“Fucking wet pussy, yes-yes!” He sighed, his head tipping back for a moment as the pleasure of the moment overcame him.
“So big-so full!” you whimpered. 
Jungkook smiled at your mewling cries, they coursed through his veins and made his chest tighten. Bringing you to this point was always so exhilarating. He loved pushing you to your limits and watching you shudder and gasp as he forced you to take it over and over again while the sparkle in your eye never faded. You wanted to take it, take him. You loved challenging him and bringing him to his knees just as often as he did to you.
“Yeah, take my big cock, snug little pussy takes my cock so well,” he growled, leaning down to kiss you with dark passion. He sucked on your lower lip before capturing your tongue in between his lips instead. 
“Ahhh~” you whined, his hips pushing harder and harder against yours. He finally released your tongue and pulled you into another deep kiss before giving two more firm thrusts before looking at you, his eyes swirling with their beautiful red hue.
“Wanna fuck you from behind baby,” he purred, pulling from you and encouraging you to roll onto your belly. He spanked your ass, gripping the flesh between his fingers and watching you writhe in need for him.
“Please Kook,” you begged. “Put it back in...” you said, wiggling your hips to entice him. Jungkook spanked you again, causing you to gasp in pleasure. 
“Wait for my cock you needy girl,” he said. “I’ll make it worth it,” he promised, leaning down to kiss your shoulder. You leaned your head to the side and reached up to cradle his neck. Jungkook trailed his hand down to your soaked pussy, throbbing with the need to cum. He slipped his fingers inside of you, reaching his other hand around your throat to tilt your head up. You watched him tower over you while his fingers plunged in and out of your sopping pussy. 
Jungkook bit his lip while watching your eyes glaze over with the desire to cum. He loved bringing you to this point. Needy, eager and pleading for the pleasure he can deliver to you. “Sweet pussy baby, wanna cum? Wanna cum on my fingers?” 
You couldn’t even form words with how good he felt. Your mouth was open as you panted your pleasure out in desperation. 
“Or do you want my thick cock making you cream and squirt?” He teased, curling his fingers to hit that spot inside you that had stars swirling in your vision. “What does my angel want?”
“Kook, p-put your cock in, need it!” You rasped, feeling far too fucked out to handle anymore teasing.
Jungkook honestly couldn’t wait much longer either. His stomach felt tight with desire and he really needed to cum. 
“Okay baby,” he cooed. Honestly, Jungkook was at his limit too. He couldn’t wait to feel the walls of your pussy wrapped around him while he plowed you into the bed and finished inside. Fuck, he wanted it so badly. 
Finally he lined up with your entrance and pushed inside slowly. A soft cry came from your lips that Jungkook shushed, a lazy smile on his face. “Don’t cry at me baby, I’ll fuck you even harder for it.”
Little did Jungkook know, you wanted the rough treatment right now. You wanted more of it. He sighed in bliss when he bottomed out in your tight cunt, a deep seated pleasure boiling in his stomach. He couldn’t wait to feel you cream around his cock. You were flat on your belly, legs together but ass perched slightly up so Jungkook slid all the more easily. 
“Yeah... just like that, good girl angel, that’s my good girl,” he said, starting to pick up pace rather quickly. You didn’t need him to be careful, you needed him to make you cum. 
“Kook-Jungkook!” you cried, gripping the sheets between your fingers as he started pounding you just as he promised. 
He couldn’t help the grin that fell over his features when he saw that ring of your cream forming at the base of his cock. “Fuck, fuck baby you look so good like this. Letting me fucking cream this pussy, ah~” he whined at your clenching walls sucking him in-begging in their own right for his cum. 
“Please kook, so close, let me cum baby, please-I need it, need you Kook!” you cried. Jungkook’s hands found yours as he leveraged his hips so he could go even harder inside you. 
“Gonna make me cum baby, make me cum fuck,” he huffed out, breaths coming in short pants. His brow was sweaty and the muscles in his thighs were trembling from the position he was fucking you in. But he didn’t care. Because your pussy was working him over and his balls were tensing as he waited for you to rut those cute little hips back. 
Like clockwork you did as he expected, one of your tells you would be cumming soon. “Fuck, Jungkook! So close-so close!” you squealed, gripping his hands desperately as he was slamming into you. The wet squelching noises of your pussy were driving him up the wall and the view of your ass while he wreaked havoc on your body.
“M’gonna cum, angel, tell me where you want it,” he said, panting against your ear as he leaned over you. 
“Inside baby, want all your cum inside me,” you whined. 
He growled deeply, kissing your neck and biting down while he rutted inside harshly. “Take it then, cream my cock while I fill you up,” he said, another passionate snarl leaving his lips.
You answered with your own sweet mewls of pleasure, egging him on, whispering more naughty things to make him fuck you that much harder. 
It didn’t take much longer before you both found yourselves thrown into orgasm. You first, walls squeezing him tightly, pulling him over the edge of bliss alongside you. He breathed hard against your shoulder, kissing along your skin to ease both of you through the intense sensations. 
His cum started seeping past his softening cock and Jungkook finally found the ability to move once more. He wandered to the bathroom and got a few washcloths to clean the pair of you up with. Soft kisses were placed along the crown of your head, your cheeks and lips. “Such a good girl, angel baby,” he praised, more words of affection lain across your skin with his mouth. 
Jungkook crawled into bed with you, pulling your frame close. “You alright?” 
A soft chuckle escaped you, curling into him with practiced ease. “Yeah, m’good,” you said, eyes drooping slowly.
He smiled at you then, and you felt an odd pulse go through you. 
The sooner you helped him, the faster he would slip from your grasp. These moments with him were fleeting, each time closer and closer to the last time you’d be entangled like this. Each kiss counting down in big red numbers. Your heart squeezed, and before you knew it, tears started to fall from your eyes. 
Jungkook startled at the sudden change in emotion from you. “Hey, what’s wrong baby? Y/N?” 
For a moment you really thought. 
You really thought that you two could love each other...
--
Jungkook left your room late that evening. He kissed your head as you slept, curled up in the sheets naked. Jungkook almost didn’t want to leave you, he wanted to sleep as well-he wanted to hold your warm frame against him as he did.
These thoughts were starting to concern him. These were the very kinds of thoughts that had damned him to spend five thousand years on Earth. He wasn’t keen on suffering for another five thousand.
As a demon, Jungkook wasn’t sure if he should be able to feel these things. He was starting to care for you. He wanted to spend time with you, he wanted to be around you. But he knew that your time together was limited. Either he died or was sent back to hell, and either way you two would lose each other in the end. 
It made him angry that this was your fate.
He didn’t want his time with you to be on a countdown. But the world is cruel by design and there was nothing Jungkook could do. You would ultimately be ripped from each other. 
As he walked down the streets, Jungkook took your potion you’d made to help him navigate all the different souls at once. Jungkook wasn’t used to hunting like this anymore, it felt like decades since his last hunt. Perhaps it was, he wasn’t sure at this point. One thousand souls is a lot of people to collect from, and five thousand years is a long time to be on Earth. He was always forgetting the time before he met you.
Now, his time had never felt more limited. 
Jungkook weaved through the people of the night, watching with keen eyes that were enhanced with your potion. Your potion also enhanced his other abilities, his strength and allure were heightened as well. 
Everything would increase Jungkook’s likelihood of taking a few souls tonight. 
He slid into a seat at a random dive bar, he charmed the bartender to give him a free drink as he walked through the people. There was a woman here, she was in her early thirties. Jungkook followed her, projecting a different face to lure her in. 
Jungkook approached her cooly, speaking in soft tones and shy smiles to coax her into divulging her name. He handed her the drink and she blushed softly. The poor woman was in love with her boss, who was married. There was no way they’d ever get to be together. He always felt moderately bad for these people, but before he met you he thought they almost deserved it in a sense. That’s what they got for getting their hopes up. But now.... 
He led her outside into an alleyway where he seduced her just a bit more. Jungkook breathed her name out, capturing her lips in a kiss, and soon her soul was traveling from her to him, absorbing into Jungkook as he caught her, laying her down on the ground. It looked like she merely had a heart attack and fell over in the alleyway. 
A sad ending for her. 
Kerri Jesen...
Jungkook walked away from the scene, his old persona melting off and his regular human form, although the feeling of a soul coursing through him had his heart pounding in his chest. It was a rush, almost like getting high. His head was spinning and his mind was reeling, but he knew this was simply due to the fact he hadn’t been collecting souls as frequently. 
Usually demons didn’t get this kind of rush.
Jungkook was wandering the streets towards the hotel when the distinct feeling of being watched fell over him. 
He didn’t stop moving, but he knew it was a witch tracking him. His mind was still a little hazy from the collection but he knew that it wasn’t supposed to last much longer. He didn’t head back to the hotel yet. He didn’t want to lead an angry witch right to you if he had a choice.
Just as he was about to turn another corner, a blade was presented to his throat. Jungkook stopped moving, the witch brandishing her blade scowling at him. 
“Demon,” she spat at him.
“Witch,” he spat back.
“You murdered my sister,” she growled, slicing at him with her knife. He dodged it easily, but he really didn’t want to fight. She wasn’t going to count towards his quota so there was no point in killing her, except to get her off his back. 
“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” he answered honestly. 
“I saw you!” she yelled. “You were at the bar! Then you shifted,” she said, taking another deep jab at him. 
He dodged again, but he could tell she was going to cause a scene with the way she was going. He had to get out and fast. When she lunged again, Jungkook took her by the wrist and threw her onto the ground and took off running. He ran towards the hotel, his only instinct was telling him to head for you.
He bolted into the elevator and then took off towards your shared room. It was almost two am, he didn’t want to wake you but he was afraid he wasn’t going to be given an option. 
“Baby,” he called, walking into the room. 
You were asleep on the bed, curled up right where he left you. He moved closer and kissed your shoulder. “Baby, Y/N, we gotta go,” he said, urging you to wake. 
You did so slowly, exhaustion filling your limbs and making them heavier than lead. “What? What’s wrong Kook?” you murmured, reaching for him slowly. 
“Need you to get up, we’ve got trouble,” he said. 
Your eyes cleared and you moved to get dressed quickly. Jungkook was starting to grab your stuff when the window to your room shattered. 
“Fuck!” You screamed, falling back on the floor as the witch jumped through the now broken window. 
“Y/N!”
The witch stood and glared at you. You felt the hostility and rage pouring off her in waves. Whatever Jungkook did, he really really pissed her off. Without much more ceremony you stood and blocked her from Jungkook.
“What are you doing?” you asked, voice firm. “What the fuck is going on?”
“That fucking demon killed my sister-and you... you’re a fucking witch! What the hell are you doing with a demon anyways? Did you summon it?”
“Him,” you corrected. “I didn’t summon him, I’m helping return him to hell,” you stated calmly.
“And helping it return to hell involves fucking it?”
You bristled at her tone.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you warned, feeling your magic swirl in your fingertips. 
“Baby-”
“Don’t Jungkook, you stay behind me right now,” you stated. 
The witch looked at you with curious eyes. “You love this demon?” 
Jungkook’s head snapped to you as you stared straight ahead. This witch was bad news. She wasn’t from your coven, but she was from one in this region you were certain. This was exactly what you didn’t want to happen. Because now she was picking a fight with a different coven. And she knew. She knew you were falling in love with Jungkook and it was her greatest weapon against you in this moment. 
You hardly had time to blink before she made her first attack, a flash of lightning directed for Jungkook. You didn’t even move in order to cast your magic,  you made a ward that protected him entirely without even the lift of a finger. 
“You’re strong, how old are you?” she asked, like the question was an average thing to hear from another person.
“Old enough to know when to pick my battles. I don’t want to fight with you, and Jungkook doesn’t either-”
“That demon killed my sister! I won’t let it live,” she growled. 
“I won’t let him die,” you said with a deep tone. Your eyes flashed purple and you sent magical flames towards her feet. They wouldn’t burn anything but the intended target. She shrieked and jumped onto the bed, rolling and throwing a knife towards you. With a quick flash you stopped the blade in the air and turned it towards her, propelling it forward with your magic. 
Jungkook was stunned to say the least. He’d never seen you use your magic like this before. He didn’t even know you were capable of this much mana manipulation and things of the like. He knew you were strong before because of how much energy you’d always been able to give him, but this was on an entirely different level.
“You’re betraying your sisters for this?!” the witch cried. 
“I am,” you said, a shot of ice towards her. Elemental magic was much more complex than most witches understood, so to have you wielding it so effortlessly had Jungkook impressed all over again. 
She dodged it. 
“What’s your name huh? What coven do you belong to?” you asked, warding against another attack. 
“My name is Maya Tudor, I’m from the Coven of Nyx Rienhardt, and we will not tolerate the murder of one of our own,” she hollered. 
“You’re not supposed to act on your own,” you said, blocking more of her attacks. “You’re meant to report this to Nyx herself. She would then dispose of me how she sees fit,” you said, pushing back against her. “Acting on your own without the thought of your sisters is just as damning. Isn’t that what I’m doing? You’re acting no better than me, little witchling.”
Maya shoved back against your wards, causing you and Jungkook to stumble onto the floor. Jungkook caught you, holding you close as Maya attempted another strike when you snapped back with a whip of ice. 
She cried as the magic burned her skin, causing a blister to form along her arm. “Fucking bitch!” she snarled, standing back as Jungkook pulled you to your feet.
“Come on,” he said, pulling you towards the door. 
The pair of you booked it down the hallway, the sound of Maya hot on your heels made you concerned. People weren’t supposed to know witches and demons or anything in regards to the supernatural. Maya was breaking more rules than you were at this point. 
Jungkook and you made it to the parking garage.
He was just trying to get you to the car so you could gather a bit of your strength to help the pair of you get away. At least for now. 
“Jungkook, slow down!” you cried, stumbling over your feet. 
“Can’t, we gotta get out of here Y/N,” he said, pulling harder. 
“Jungkook she’s gonna hear you-fuck!” 
With a pained whimper, you fell to your knees. The car was just a hundred yards away. “Y/N?!”
You held your side, as a small dagger peaked between your fingers. Jungkook kneeled with you, looking at the damage. You’d survive, he just had to get you in the fucking car. 
Unfortunately, it seemed you had different plans. 
You lifted yourself up onto your feet, wavering slightly as you stared at the brat of a witchling who you knew wouldn’t know any better. But honestly, this was too much. You weren’t going to lose Jungkook to her.
Yourself on the other hand...
“Enough,” you said, pulling the dagger from your side and dropping it to the floor. Maya looked at you with disdain evident in her eyes.
“I will get revenge for my fallen sister,” she growled.
“I won’t let you hurt him,” you declared firmly.
Jungkook swallowed hard. This witch was different then he’d originally anticipated. He was starting to sense a difference in her magic. You were taking most of the hits and he wondered why, up until now. 
She could slay a demon with the blade she’d hit you with. 
Banishing magic. 
No wonder you were being so fiercely protective. One hit with those blades and Jungkook would be killed. Or at the very least, sent back to hell.
But you were already hurt, he didn’t want to see you get injured even more. 
“Baby,” he called softly. 
“Don’t, don’t distract me or she’s going to-”
She sent rapid fire bolts towards you that you had to work hard to dodge, messing with your orientation enough that you stumbled. Jungkook tried to support you but you waved him off. “Go, go baby, get out of here.” 
Jungkook scoffed in shock. You were going to sacrifice yourself... for him?
That’s when he understood what Maya said in the hotel room. 
You loved him...
Jungkook’s throat got tight as he thought about you. However, his heart didn’t race. It couldn’t, he couldn’t love you the way he is now. Even if he was more human than most demons, he was still-ultimately-a creature of chaos. A creature that didn’t have a typical set of emotions. 
Although he knew... He knew deep within himself had he been human, he would love you. He’d love you with everything he was if... if only he could. 
Perhaps he should do this for you. He should make the call and give you the last thing he can.
His life. 
It would always be yours.
You and Maya were going back and forth. You were doing harder work, protecting yourself and Jungkook as Maya made ground with her attacks. The wound on your side was aching, and there was nothing you could do about it. Not without losing more of your energy that could be spent protecting and hopefully getting this bitch to leave you and Jungkook alone.
You were sweating, the magic energy finally starting to drain. However, the witchling didn’t look much better. If you could just hold out a little longer. 
Unfortunately, there was a hidden trump card. 
Maya shouted an incantation before you were surrounded with bright light. The pain hit you first as you thudded to the ground gasping, Maya had slammed you with lightning. You weren’t even able to get a ward up to protect yourself from the exhaustion coursing through your veins. Jungkook moved in front of you.
Maya stalked towards Jungkook with purpose. You whimpered from the ground, looking at him with a pained expression. He just gave you his smile before turning to face the witchling once more. 
“If I let you kill me, will you leave her alone?” Jungkook asked.
“Jungkook, no!” you cried desperately.
Maya considered it for a moment. “Yes, her coven will take care of her.”
You tried to get up, sending a bolt of ice towards her once more. It threw her on her ass for a moment before she was aiming another lightning bolt in your direction. 
“Y/N enough!” Jungkook said, looking back at you. “I’ll do this for you, okay?”
“No, no please don’t do that,” you begged. 
Maya approached Jungkook, taking the invitation and slamming a blade into his back. With a grunt Jungkook fell to his knees. 
It hurt like a bitch.
But the look on your face was infinitely worse. You looked so sad. 
“Justice for my sister has been served, I will leave you to your coven.”
With that, the witchling limped off, her powers effectively drained just as much as yours. If not more so. The only reason she won is because you were doing the work of two people. 
It didn’t matter now. 
“Jungkook,” you cried, crawling forwards to grab him. 
He was bleeding black blood, it was pouring out of the deep gash from the knife in his back. The banishing magic made it so he couldn’t heal himself. Not even your energy would save him now, not like you had enough of it to spare. 
“It’s okay,” he said softly, looking up at you. “This should be enough,” he huffed. 
“No, I don’t want you to die please,” you said, voice watery and eyes tearing up. 
Jungkook smiled at you. “Don’t cry baby, please don’t cry-I hate it,” he said, reaching to wipe your tears with his thumb. “I’m not worth crying over.”
“You are to me!” you sobbed. “Jungkook... I lov-”
“Shhh,” he shushed you. “I don’t deserve to hear those words,” he said, laying back. “I couldn’t even use my powers to protect you because of how far I’ve let myself fall... You had to make me a fuckin potion so I could hunt, baby,” he coughed. “Don’t say those words to me, I want to say them back but I can’t...”
You were crying hard enough for your shoulders to shake. “Please Jungkook, I don’t care if you can’t say them. I don’t care,” you promised.
“I do,” he whispered. “I want to say them to you someday. But not yet, save it for then...”
You nodded, barely able to speak anymore. “Don’t go...”
Jungkook breathed out slowly. “I’ll see you... again... Promise...”
With those words, Jungkook’s human frame disintegrated into ash, his clothes left behind in your lap and the blackened blood from his wound staining your hands. You gripped his shirt and cried desperately. You cried until your head ached.
You’d lost... everything.
--
Jungkook woke up in a forest. He wasn’t familiar with this place. 
Was he wrong? Did he not get sent back to Hell? 
“Nope, you didn’t,” a calm tone called from behind him. Jungkook whipped around to see a shorter man with blonde hair looking at him with peaceful features. 
“Who are you?” he asked, stumbling backwards. Where was he? And what was going on?
“I’m Jimin - and to answer those questions stumbling around in that head of yours - we are currently in purgatory,” he said. 
“How-”
“Can I know what you’re thinking?” he asked, finishing Jungkook’s statement. He rolled his eyes.
“Stop that,” he demanded. “I thought I would end up in Hell, why am I in purgatory?”
Jimin sighed deeply. “It’s complicated. But, I’ll explain it the best I can... You are a demon that is being punished by the Knights of Hell for acting in the interest of a human - is that correct? You’re Jungkook?”
“Yes, I am,” Jungkook confirmed. 
“Very well, then I am here to offer you a wish.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened. “A-A wish?”
Jimin smiled, eyes disappearing as he chuckled. “Yes, a wish. Just one. You were a demon that sacrificed your life for the life of another. We Angels have deemed that you are entitled to a wish for your acts,” he explained. “Choose wisely,” his voice turned serious. 
Jungkook could hardly believe what he was hearing. A wish? For saving you? The woman he wanted to love. He still had this feeling in his chest that he didn't deserve it. He didn’t deserve you. But, maybe he could. If he tried. If he made his wish and found you again, would you take him back? Would you let him love you properly this time?
There was only one way to find out. 
“It seems you’ve thought of a wish?” Jimin said with kind eyes. 
“A life - with her,” Jungkook breathed. “I wish for a life with her.”
“It will be a human life, you won’t have any magical abilities or powers. I can give you enough money to sustain you for a time but nothing longer than a year. From there you are on your own. If you die or are injured before finding her there is nothing I can do about that,” Jimin said. 
Jungkook nodded. “I want a life with her, that is my wish. As long as I can be with her that is all I want.”
“Then that is how it shall be.”
--
How had three years gone by already? 
You asked yourself this as you wiped down a counter at your job in a local cafe. Your coven had exiled you. You were extremely lucky they didn’t kill you. But they’d taken your magic-giving you enough to leave town and never return.
With that you hadn’t looked back. You only looked ahead, the only person you wanted could be out there right now. Right this very second. You only had enough magic left for a few tracking spells, and they’d led you to the countryside. A smaller town, but big enough to hide in if necessary.
You were hoping he was here. Your magic had never steered you wrong before, you just wanted to see him again. 
Was he alright? Did they hurt him in Hell? Was he still a demon or was he able to become human... 
All these thoughts swirled in your head. You cleaned the counter tops and the other tables and helped your boss, Seokjin, lock up for the evening.
“Alrighty,” he said, wiping his hands off and smiling. “You’re free to head home! Felix comes in tomorrow morning so you can take the day off if you want?” he said, a twinkle in his eye.
You tilted your head but nodded regardless. “Alright...”
What an odd one this guy was, but you decided to let it go-just appreciative of the day off tomorrow as you’d been working doubles the last week. 
Seokjin came closer with a smile. His irises flashed a bright neon green for just a moment. You could’ve sworn it happened but somehow you almost doubted your own eyes.
“Go home safely, Y/N, don’t worry about tomorrow here Felix will cover for you,” he said. “Have a good evening.”
With that, he placed his baseball cap on his head and trotted away.
Your mind clicked for a moment but all you could feel was appreciation.
No wonder Seokjin accepted you so quickly.
One exiled witch helps the other...
A small smile was on your face as you made your way back home to your apartment. It was tiny, but it was home and you honestly rather preferred the small space. You’d worked hard to make it cozy and welcoming and-
What the fuck?
The door wasn’t latched. You’d locked and latched that door when you came home. The only other person who had a key is Seokjin which you gave to him for emergencies only and this-
“Baby?”
Your head snapped up at the voice you thought you heard. But when you finally laid eyes on him, it was hard to believe he was actually here.
You looked at him, unable to process that he was actually there. Right there in front of you and you could just reach out and touch him but... the tears started faster.
“What...?” your voice was weak and breathless.
Jungkook stood before you, looking almost as if he’d never left. His hair was still long and curly. He was dressed in decent enough clothes, nothing fancy but he looked strong and well fed. Your heart was trembling in your chest at the mere thought of him coming back to you.
He was a demon, he didn’t have to do anything like this for a simple witch turned human. But here he was, standing inside your apartment.
“Hi...” he trailed off, looking sheepish.
“How did you...?” you asked, slowly moving closer into the apartment and out of the chill of the night. “How did you find me?”
Jungkook shut the door behind you and you turned to fling your arms around his neck. He caught you easily with a shy smile on his face. 
“I’ll always find you,” he said, like in some cheesy romance movie. But it made your heart throb in longing all over again.
“Are you a demon? You don’t feel like a demon-”
Jungkook snorted at your questions, knowing that you still couldn’t quite believe he was here. He held you close by your waist, kissing your temple as you breathed him in. “Baby... I’m not a demon, I’m human, just like you,” he said. 
It couldn’t be possible. You didn’t just hear those words from him. “H-Human?”
He pulled back from your embrace just enough to look into your eyes. “Look, I don’t have any demonic energy,” he said, his eyes deep brown and there was nothing underneath them but warmth. 
Human.
“How?” you asked, reaching forward to touch his face with a shaky hand. He held your hand against his face and leaned into your touch.
“Because I didn’t want to live without you,” he said. “I wound up in purgatory, and Angel granted me a wish due to me sacrificing my life for yours-I wished for... for a life with you, because my time with you-well... I only got a taste of it and I want more, I want more of those days like the ones at my place. I just want to be with you.”
Tears thatched along your lashes as you pulled him closer again.
“Can I say it now?” you whispered against his chest.
Jungkook laughed softly and kissed your head. “I hope to hear it often,” he said, leaning down and pulling you into a sweet kiss. “But wait just a bit longer,” he said, kissing you again.
You were wrapped up into his embrace as he pulled you back towards the couch. You eagerly followed, letting the moment of your reunion fuel this passion boiling in your stomach. 
Jungkook kept kissing you, almost as if he were trying to remember every inch of your lips. His hands trailed down your body, squeezing and moaning softly at the alluring softness. “Fuck... Fuck baby,” he grit out.
A teasing smile made its way onto your face. “Yeah? What do you want, Kook?” you nudged your nose against his. You sat down on the couch and pulled him closer by his pants. 
He sucked his lower lip between his teeth, watching with hazy eyes as you fished his hardening cock out of his pants. “Please baby, suck my cock for me, missed your pretty mouth so much,” he said, running his thumb from your jaw to your throat and pressing gingerly.
Your lips ran over his cock tantalizingly and Jungkook had to swallow to make sure he didn’t cum on your face. He hadn’t been touched since the last time you two were together and having human stamina now made it a little harder to refrain from his eagerness.
But, Jungkook knew what patience meant, so he calmed himself but his cock was heavy and throbbing in your hands.
“Fuck... must hurt to be this hard,” you said, and before he could growl at you to get started you swallowed his cock with practiced ease. You ran your hands up under his shirt and dragged your nails down his lower stomach while you sucked his cock deeper into your throat. 
Jungkook’s hand made it into your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head to pleasure him. He sighed out harshly through his nose and you knew he was enjoying it. If you could smile you would’ve, his little tells were still the same. He smirked down at you, watching as your pretty eyes locked with his.
“Suck it so well baby, always so good for me my angel,” he groaned, voice turning whiny at the end. “Fuck!”
You took his balls in your hand and palmed them gently. Jungkook’s eyes rolled back in his head, breaths coming out short and stilted at your pleasuring him. You pulled off him for a moment to catch your breath. “Love sucking your cock baby, love it so much,” you smiled.
Jungkook laughed a breath out and ran his thumb over your bottom lip. You bit on it gently causing him to smile. “You wet for me?” he asked, his eyes sparkling. 
You dropped his cock and quickly pulled your pants off as you sat on the couch. Jungkook mirrored your actions, taking his clothes off as you laid yourself on the couch with your knees up, hiding the place he wanted the most right now.
Now, Jungkook wasn’t above begging. In fact, he rather enjoyed it from time to time. He crawled to you, naked and smiling. His hands wound around your calves and squeezed them gently before placing kisses along your shins and ankles. 
“Please baby,” he said, lips trailing along your skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Please open your legs?” he asked, voice sweet and pleading. “Gonna let me eat this pussy? Want my tongue on you?”
You smiled and pulled him in for a kiss while opening your legs so he could touch. He kissed you passionately before leaving tender smooches along the soft swells of your skin. Your breasts first, capturing a nipple between his sinfully sweet lips as his hand trailed to your dripping pussy. He let out a desperate breath against your chest when he pushed a finger inside your heat. “Fuck, fuck baby your pussy-fuck,” he said, moving from your chest to your core with deft movements.
Jungkook looked at your core swallowing his fingers and you couldn’t help the mewls falling from your lips. “B-Baby!” you whined softly, running your hand through his hair. 
“Yeah,” he breathed against your core. His eyes flicked up to yours and they swirled with hunger. “What is it baby?”
You swallowed hard, biting your lip. “Eat me baby? Please, so needy for you,” you begged. 
One of your favorite things about sex with Jungkook was he could be in charge one moment, then the next second you could take it from him. It made the intimacy between the two of you spontaneous and alluring. Jungkook knew you just as well as you knew him and that was exciting. It made you cry for him, begging for the pleasure and bliss you knew only he could give you.
“Alright angel, lean back and let me make you cum,” he said, pulling you closer by your thighs so he could eat your pussy the way he wanted. He placed several warm kisses along your inner thighs before running his tongue through your folds with a fat lick to your clit. You cried softly for him to continue, which he did.
Jungkook made each lick on your center hotter than the last, running his tongue over your clit differently each time. Your feet twitched when he sucked on your core with his plush lips. “Fuck, fuck-Jungkook!” you whimpered, pulling his hair back and away from his face so you could see his flushed face between your thighs. 
“Taste so good baby,” he moaned, smiling before licking into your cunt once more. 
“K-Koo,” you said. “Please baby, wanna cum,” you moaned sweetly.
His chest throbbed at the sound of your pleased noises. He really wasn’t sure if what he felt with you before was love, but now? Now he knew it wasn’t, because the feeling in his chest... the one taking home in his heart right now was absolutely love. 
“I’ll get you there baby,” he promised, sucking your clit into his mouth. He pushed two fingers inside you this time, making your stomach clench in bliss. 
“Yeah~ Right there Kook, right there baby please!”
He worked you up further and further, pushing his fingers along with his tongue to create a tension in your belly that had you fit to burst. But just as you would feel yourself cresting to that perfect orgasm waiting for you, he’d slow down or remove his mouth from you entirely.
After the third time you cried at him for it.
“Koo! Baby, please-lemme cum, wan’ it,” you begged, your hairline was sweaty and Jungkook smiled at your desperate sounding voice.
“Tell me one thing baby, then I’ll let you cum,” he said, working you up for the fourth time.
“Anything baby, anything you want.” Your weak tone made him smirk.
“Tell me you love me baby, say you love me and I’ll make you cum,” he said, moving over you to kiss your lips while his fingers still played between your legs.
Your heart stammered in your chest at his request. But it was an easy smile that made it to your face as you answered him after your kiss. “I love you,” you murmured, kissing him with those beautiful words fresh from your lips.
He wanted to kiss those words, he wanted to kiss you and tell you the same... “Baby, Y/N,” he breathed, capturing your lips in a reverent kiss. “I love you,” he said. 
Jungkook was stunned at how simple it was to say, and yet it made his heart quake. “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated.
“Jungkook,” you gasped when he pulled his fingers from you to put them in your mouth. You cleaned them as he seemed to want and he moaned with the need to be inside you. Although you were just as eager. Your hand reached down to pump his woefully neglected cock. Jungkook moaned against your temple, hips rutting slightly at the stimulation.
“Want me to put it in now?” he asked, voice breathless.
“Yes,” you whined. 
Jungkook didn’t make you wait, taking his cock and lining it up with your soaking pussy. He gave you a look and you just nodded, giving him your consent and with that he pushed inside slowly. You both moaned in pleasure. “Fuck... fuck you’re so wet,” he panted. 
“Jungkook!” you cried out. He kissed you desperately then, his mouth searching and hot against your own. 
“M’right here baby, always gonna be right here,” he said, voice tender against your skin.
You mewled at his gentle thrusts to open you up. It was so much and yet not enough. “More,” you pleaded with him, hands finding his back.
A sharper thrust made your eyes roll back. “Right there?” he asked, eyes wild and chest heaving. He’d been holding off really well but now that he was inside of your pussy it was game over. He loved being inside of you like this far too much. “Baby your pussy feels so good. Fuck, fuck please,” he gasped.
You smiled at his frantic features. He didn’t want to cum without you. It was sweet, but he really didn’t need to worry. You had almost cum just from him putting it in. 
“Jungkook, c-close,” you said, eyes watery and pretty in the evening light.
He nodded. “I’m right there too,” he whispered, thrusting harder and harder into you. It had you seeing stars. He kissed you, sucking on your lips and tangling your tongues together. “Yes, yes, fuck...”
The tightening in your stomach was finally on the verge of snapping once more. Jungkook was whispering sweet words into your ears as he pounded you against your couch. “Fuck-fuck!” you sobbed, arms wrapped around his neck as he covered your body. 
You felt a heat in your belly as your orgasm rushed through your body in deep pulses. Jungkook was stunned as you creamed his cock, pulling him along shortly into his own climax as he painted your walls white with his release.
He groaned your name against your neck, shivering and gently coaxing the pair of you through your two highs. You turned your head to kiss him, smiling softly. 
“Holy shit,” he laughed, looking at you with a dizzying smile. “Give me a second baby, your pussy almost killed me.”
You snorted at him, kissing him once more regardless. “I missed you,” you said tenderly, pulling him closer. Even as his cock softened inside of you.
Jungkook kissed you back, cradling your head as he pulled out. His eyes met yours and he gave a sweet smile. “I missed you too, but I’ll be here from now on... I’m yours, if you want me.”
“I’ve always wanted you, Jungkook,” you said, kissing his jaw and relishing in the afterglow that was settling into your warm body.
“Keep me then,” he said with a smile.
“I’ll keep you-forever...”
999 notes · View notes
cno-inbminor · 11 months
Text
repertum (pt. 2 - final)
summary: no matter how much you want alhaitham, you don’t think you can ever have him. he may or may not try to prove otherwise. // cameos from lumine and nahida // wc: ~15.1k
a/n: well, here it is! many, many thanks to @allsaiint for being my beta once again, especially for this monster. i love her to the ends of this universe. fair warning though, the smut at the end is un-beta’d so you’ll probably come across many grammatical/syntax errors. sorry, in advance. 
cw: afab!reader, fem!reader, more angst (but with comfort), 3.4 spoilers, probably some incorrect game lore and timing/mechanics, smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)
smut tags: derogatory/degrading terms (slut, cocksleeve, cumslut, cockslut), referring to alhaitham as ‘sir’, size kink, twinges of dacryphilia, one (1) pussy slap, some overstimulation, light bondage (reader’s wrists get tied together), blowjob, cunnilingus, hints of reader entering subspace (dom!alhaitham, sub!reader), will add more if i remember later but i think those are the highlights lol
please read part 1 for context! | AO3 Link for better viewing if the app is being a bitch
-    
As agreed upon you meet Lumine and Paimon on the walkway leading up to the Sanctuary. The traveling duo go inside first, as you’re sure they have much more private and serious matters to discuss. While you wait outside, you gaze over the ledge at the breathtaking view of Sumeru in the direction of the Lokapala Jungle, and its waterfalls still bright even in the darkness of dawn. Taking in everything around you— the breeze and the stars— you feel some peace in your heart knowing you have a place to call home and return to.
The doors swing open with Lumine looking a little less happy than earlier. Paimon mutters – or  at least attempts to – under her breath, while a man with a wide-brimmed hat trails out after them. The traveler provides no explanation,and instead informs you that Lord Kusanali wishes to speak with you for a minute. Perhaps the time together will let you know more about this mysterious man – child? – and why he seems to have put Paimon in such a bad mood.
“Y/N,” the Dendro Archon greets you warmly. Her voice is gentle as ever and full of compassion. “Thank you for coming here. I simply wanted to see if you had everything you needed for your travels and research.”
You show her your bag with thinly-veiled enthusiasm. “Thank you for the opportunity and your consideration of my proposal. The fact that you took the time to read through it and ask me about it really means a lot to me. It was luck that the traveler happened to be heading in that direction as well.”
“She will be a good companion. Please watch over her whenever you can.”
“Of course, though I imagine she’s going to watch over me more than her,” you jest and Lord Kusanali shares your amusement. “Is there anything else you needed?”
“No. May you have safe travels, and please visit whenever you return. I look forward to your findings.”
You bow with as much reverence as possible before waving goodbye to the Archon and heading out the doors. The man from earlier is nowhere to be seen, and Lumine appears more relaxed.
“Everything all good?”
“Yes! Should we head out then?”
“Very well.”
Those with Visions have always fascinated you with the way they could make their weapons appear and disappear, and materialize things in midair. Lumine does so with what appears to be a map of Teyvat, humming to herself as she pinpoints a location. She waves it away with dainty fingers and holds out her hand.
Though confused, you trust she means no ill will and Lumine grips your hand tight when you take hers.
“Teleportation is always a little rough for first timers. Just hold on and you’ll be okay.”
“Teleporta–”
You disappear in a flash of blue light. For a split, disorienting second, you see nothing, and in the next you’re greeted with a view of what appears to be part of the Mawtiyima Forest, if the luminescent treetops are any indication. Slight nausea overcomes you and your stomach does a small turn – shit, she wasn’t lying.
“Are you alright?” Lumine asks with concern, searching through her pack for a remedy..
“Do you want a cold towel?” Paimon adds on and flutters around you to search for any signs of injury.
“I think I just need to breathe for a second,” you say, collapsing against the cliffside. “And sit for a minute.”
“Take your time. We’re quite close to the border. I would’ve taken us straight into Fontaine, but since I’ve never been before, none of those teleport waypoints have been activated.”
You point towards one in front of you. “You mean these?”
“Convenient, right?”
“...very.”
-
Distraught, perhaps, is one way to describe Alhaitham’s current state of mind.
By all means, it makes no sense. Did he get to know you well in an alarmingly short amount of time? Sure. Did he really look forward to those initial 36 hours passing, to the point where he felt time was crawling by at a turtle’s pace? Perhaps. Was he trying to satiate a curiosity that he had never really felt before and attempting to answer a personal unknown? In some way.
The attempting-to-resign Acting Grand Sage has read his fair share of historical texts – especially conflicts driven by love and lust. A force so powerful that it could twist the minds of even the brightest and most logical – what was that like? From a young age, he was only ever introspective in an academic sense, and the scholars touted him to be a genius. But feelings, emotions, felt abstract and out of reach as he grew up. He only ever understood his lust as a byproduct of his development as explained in the textbooks. A branch of psychology mixed with biology described everything from why humans feel attraction and the need to copulate to what is deemed healthy and alluring in a potential partner, all in the name of posterity and evolution.
Alhaitham first concluded his initial draw towards you could be explained away by all of these findings.It didn’t quite fit all the checkboxes, but enough for him to deem it understandable and valid. Those checkboxes had been visited once before when he lost his virginity, but that was all there was to it. He wouldn’t be blind enough to deny that it was a pleasurable experience, but there were other, more pressing matters at hand. Yet, even after drawing his conclusion, nothing academic could help explain why his desire to be near you was so strong. The more carnal desires took a backseat to his need to pick your brain, to make you laugh, or to have you challenge him. He learned as many of your little mannerisms as possible, all the while pretending he was completely unfazed by your presence. Your different smiles, your nervous movements, your stressed looks, your interests and dislikes – he wanted to know all of them, and not so he could store it in his brain for cautionary purposes. It was all for the sake of getting to know you.
And then he became greedy.
Another sin Alhaitham didn’t quite understand before meeting you was the growing, bubbling pit of a constant want want want for you to be by his side. To have the fantasies of coveting your soul, retching on the inside at the mere thought of others seeing you the way he did you – he was starting to see why individuals were so often thrown into a fit of rage over their loved ones and why the law has separate stipulations regarding “crimes of passion.”
And even as he sits at his usual table in his usual seat (especially on days when he really doesn’t want to be in his office during work hours), sending glares to anyone who dared to approach him or even come near your seat (which was very much not your seat by any legal means), he finds himself buried in books of philosophy. Not that they are so far out of his usual reading, for they typically align with his understanding that there are universal questions that will never be answered yet should be stated, but he has never felt the need to dive deeper than the tip of the iceberg on different schools of thought. One line in particular catches his attention, however.
“Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions.”**
Moral philosophy, the area where this statement hails from, was intriguing, yet Alhaitham knew the respected experts could talk in circles for days and do their best to argue their reasoning. This particular philosopher suggests that passion is the cause for reason, for understanding why humans do the things they do. And as the word connotation suggests, there is no room to discuss whether or not this line of thought is rational. Just as passion drives reason, reason can also serve as the breeding ground for the passions.
Abstruse to several, esoteric to many, ambiguous to the masses – Alhaitham wonders if he’s found some sort of solution to his internal dilemmas. To have it all summed up in a single sentence resonates deeply with him. Simple and succinct, yet speaking volumes to the implications; finally with a deep breath.
The next day in his office, he leans and falls back into his seat, gaze focused on the domed ceiling above. He’s always hated this chair; far too grand and impractically large. One thing he doesn’t mind is the proportionate size of the desk, as he’s learned over the years that if you give him the space, he will inadvertently cover every inch of it with his materials. Even with their dwindling number of research applications, he manages to fill the voids with his own research, books laid open and aged parchment collecting dust. For being so far above the ground level of the House of Daena, it makes sense that silence is usually his sole companion, as he tends to ignore the other researchers and matra milling around. But there must have been some memo sent out because no one is there today, and no one has come up in hours.
Surprisingly, he finds the quietude and quiescence unnerving rather than welcoming, so much so he removes his treasured earpieces and places them in his lap. The white noise he’s often found bothersome is… comforting?
A distraction, perhaps, from the absence of you.
A long, heavy sigh leaves his chest as he pulls himself up and ambles over to a locked filing cabinet with all the approved research project applications. Before he became Acting Grand Sage, the remaining applications had been split between him, Lord Kusanali, and a few other individuals. First sorted by subject area and then by last name, he rifles through with an absent mind until he catches your name on a tabbed folder. Alhaitham wastes no time plucking it from the confines of the drawer and opening it, taking care to make sure the stacks of reports and research diagrams don’t spill out onto the floor. Kaveh would have a field day if he knew just how enraptured he was by the mere sight of your handwriting. He may even take him to Lord Kusanali herself for psychological treatment or interrogation because there was no way this Alhaitham was his same sarcastic, scathing, infuriating roommate – and despite the slight amusement the thought gives him, he cannot ignore the painful pull in his chest.
It’s been five weeks since you were last seen in Sumeru, and five weeks since he had knocked on your apartment door only to be greeted by your next-door neighbor, who announced you’d left early in the morning with no definitive time of return and no mention of your destination. You would be back eventually, but would it be in six days or six months? Nobody seemed to be the wiser.
He had had half a mind to reach out to Cyno and call in a special favor to track you down for his own internal peace, but he knew the request would be irrational and unnecessary. So once a week, he stops by your apartment to see if you’ve returned, and with each unsuccessful visit and your doormat collecting more and more dust, his heart sinks just a little bit lower. If he wasn’t in his current position, he’d be halfway across the desert by now (and ultimately in the complete opposite direction) under the guise of searching for ancient ruins. Merely searching for facts and truth; nothing more, nothing less.
All to say, Alhaitham wishes he had looked through this filing drawer earlier because the file on his desk contained all the answers to his questions of your whereabouts.
The relief of knowing you were safe in a nearby nation surges through every vein in his body, tension in his muscles disappearing with the rays of sunlight beating down from the stained-glass window above. He would’ve been much more concerned if you’d gone to Inazuma – even if this Captain Beidou that Lumine spoke highly of was more than adept at crossing the treacherous seas from Liyue, the mere possibility of you falling overboard or being forced to stay in the nation was still unsettling, to say the least.
Leaning his weight onto the desk, Alhaitham drinks in everything your research has to offer. There are a few mistakes and edits that could be rectified here and there, but nevertheless, it is well done. He remembers now seeing some of these papers before, as notes you had been scribbling down on some early afternoons in the cafe. Pleased isn’t enough to describe the hum in his chest when he notices some of his suggestions incorporated into your application, fondly recalling the moments when you had picked each other’s brain regarding the topic at hand. Never once did you mention that any of this had been in preparation for your big research journey, but he would be remiss not to believe recent events had served as the catalyst for your sudden departure.
“Do come back to me,” he murmurs to no one. As he lifts his head, the cosmical, automated orb— reminiscent of an Auspicious Branch— just above the elevator platform seems to mock him. It’s An inaccurate teller of time as it spins and spins in its orbit, and Alhaitham yearns for the day you return home.--
The day you return to him.
-
Traveling with Lumine is fascinating, to say the least.
Ignoring the fact that feeding Paimon is like feeding three grown adults, watching the Traveler gather and store every fruit and herb and loot in sight makes you wonder what kind of life she had led before all of this. The way she takes down some wayward Treasure Hoarders is a sight to see, like a well-rehearsed dance. It lends to your understanding of why the term is “martial arts” because the way Lumine maneuvers around the enemies and her sword is, very much so, an art.
But more time together means more time into probing the real reason you’ve decided to come to Fontaine with her, and for whatever reason, she is really good at getting you to spill the beans. Lumine’s heard most of your life story at this point.
“Who are you running from?” she asks one night. After checking in with the Adventurer’s Guild in Fontaine’s capital, you’ve joined Lumine in her journey around the nation to activate the rest of the teleport waypoints. You send her your sheepest look, begging with your eyes for her to not ask anymore. But you’ve skirted around this topic the last few weeks and you figure it’s time for her to know.
With a heavy breath, you set down your bowl of biryani on the grass. “Promise you won’t judge?”
“Promise.”
“...it’s Alhaitham.” The crackling of the little campfire Lumine had put together is deafening, even louder than the ripples and waves of the river crashing onto the sand in front of them.
Naturally, Paimon speaks up first, though speaking is an understatement.  “Alhaitham?! You mean that– that super mean Acting Grand Sage? The know-it-all? Can’t really care less about others? Condescending?”
“That’s a pretty big word there, Paimon–” Lumine cuts in.
“Hey!”  
“See?” you respond, the smile on your face small, awkward, and bittersweet. “Things happened and well… I thought it’d be better if we stopped seeing each other.”
“You were seeing each other?!!”
“Paimon, stop!” Lumine interjects and shoots the floating fairy a disapproving glare.
You really wish you had some alcohol with you right now.
“Well…”
For the next several minutes, you provide a detailed summary of how you came to meet and learn more about Alhaitham, the nature of the budding relationship, how all your insecurities came to a head on that night, and how you ended up here. Lumine remains silent when you finish explaining everything, clearly thinking through all the information and trying to find the right words to say.
“You know,” she begins, “Alhaitham may be one of the most infuriatingly logical men that I’ve ever met. And a really good actor, too. Remind me to tell you the details of what he did when we rescued Nahida.”
“...I don’t think that makes me feel any better.”
“I’m just saying, but I also think you know by now that Alhaitham isn’t someone who does anything that isn’t for his own benefit, in some way.”
“Again, not helping.”
“What I’m trying to say is if he just wanted to get his dick wet, I’m sure there are plenty of other people who would agree to help out in much less time.”
To which, Lumine has a point. A very good point. But still you say, “He’s super picky though, I don’t think he’d just sleep with anyone regardless.”
“Which brings me to my original point: he picked you for a reason.”
“Because I’m easy?”
Lumine flicks your forehead before you can even blink, and with a decent amount of force as well. Your resulting indignant yelp pierces the atmosphere as you rub the sore spot. “What was that for?!”
“For being unreasonable. I’m trying to say that you must be special to him, that’s all.”
“... but what if he didn’t want to see me again after sleeping together? Sure, let’s say that I am ‘special’, heavy emphasis on my air quotes right now, but I want more, an actual relationship. How do I know that’s also what his end goal is?”  
“You don’t,” Lumine affirms. “But there’s no use in wading through the what-ifs. You know what you want, and I think you’re allowed to communicate that to him, regardless of what he says.”
It’s hard to come to terms with the underlying implication that you’re being something of a coward, with not a whole lot of reason to be. You’re grateful for the open water before you, its lullaby comforting with the breeze it brings. Years of academic research have made you painfully familiar with the concept of trial and error, but to apply it to human relationships? It leaves much to be undesired. Five weeks, in the grand scheme of things, are certainly nothing more than a miniscule blip of time. But in your limited life with the overhanging unknowns of the world, it was a sizable enough amount of time filled with passive rumination and downward spirals.
“You’ll figure it out when you get there. But I’m warning you, we’ve still got a lot of ground to cover.”
You can’t help but laugh in relief. “That is completely okay, I promise you.”
Running away might as well be your newly developed skill at this point.
-
A few weeks later
“I mean, I could stay with you there in Fontaine, right? You know, extra set of hands and all?”
“You’re not getting out of this.”
“Lumiiinneee,” you whine, petulant pout making itself known.
“Just talk to him – whatever happens, happens. If it’s not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be. But you owe it to yourself to say your piece, as well as to him for an explanation that he needs to hear. Now go.”
She all but (gently) shoves you into the Akademiya, watching over you with an encouraging wave of her hand. When you’re less than five steps away from the door into the House of Daena, you look over your shoulder once more for any signs of escape. As expected, the Lumine-shaped obstacle stands firm in her spot.
You clutch your final report to your chest, mind racing with a thousand thoughts per second, and don’t even realize you’ve already made it to the elevator platform. And once it gives a mechanical shudder and starts to go up, you want to scream and simultaneously steal a glider to jump off and land safely back on the ground level.
Is it good or bad luck that no one seems to be around? Maybe he won’t be at his desk and you can just leave the report there and fucking bolt. Maybe it’s not even Alhaitham in the Grand Sage’s chair. Maybe the man is gone altogether and is somewhere in the desert looking at ancient runes.
Maybe he just doesn’t care anymore and has forgotten about you. Maybe he told himself to let bygones be bygones, and that you were simply another scholar in the Akademiya. No one special.
Your initial hopes of his coincidental absence are dashed as you walk up the stairs. His silver hair stands out among the sea of azure and viridian, and he doesn’t even bother to look up from the stack of papers in his hand. Not that you were a bull in a china shop by any means, but the man would even notice with his eyes closed if there was a fly on the complete opposite side of the office. Your heart is ready to burst from your chest with each shaky step, and too soon, you stand in front of his sprawling desk.
“My office hours will be ending in a few minutes,” he states in a matter-of-fact tone without looking at you. You risk a sharp inhale at the sound of his voice, an all too familiar mix of gentility and sternness. “If it’s something that requires more than that length of time, come back tomorrow.”
Fuck fuck fuck fuck – “I’m just, um, turning in a research report?”
At the sound of your voice, Alhaitham doesn’t even bother to amuse himself. He’d much rather not look and not be disappointed, than to do so and become reacquainted with dashed hopes. “...And the necessary cover sheet is on top? Does it have your name, project number, and corresponding title?”
“Y-Yes.”
Still perusing through the paperwork in his hands, he frees one hand to point it at a basket on his far-right corner. “Leave it there. Your advisors and I will be reviewing it within the next two weeks.”
“Oh, o-okay.”
You do as instructed, but with each second that passes without any eye contact or direct acknowledgement of your presence, you begin to wonder if he’s purposely ignoring you. Or maybe he forgot about you entirely and wrote you off as a failed pursuit. Perhaps that would be the best-case scenario and you could hole up in your apartment for the rest of… eternity. Maybe. Lumine can come and scold you later and you can take it like a champ.
But your heart, ever so fickle and occasionally diabolical, plays one last card and causes you to stop at the top of the stairs. “Have a good night,” you muster out. “Thank you, Alhaitham.”
The rustling of his papers ceases as you turn and hurry down the steps, taking extra care to not trip over your feet. Just before you can activate the elevator, a frazzled “Y/N?” is called from above. With sweaty hands, a sullen heart, and a leadened brain, you nervously orient towards the scholar inhabiting your dreams, who stands on the edge of the platform above and peers down to confirm his suspicion. His stance looks as if he had leapt over his desk and sprinted at top speed towards you.
You’re not sure how to take it all in, how to take him in – the “feeble scholar”, for once, appears as such. If possible, his cheeks seem a little more sunken in, further accentuating the sharp edges of his jawline. His hair looks mussed, as if he’d run his hands through it several times too many. The cloak around his shoulders rests askew from his sudden movements.
But his eyes—
Those seafoam irises and amber pupils pierce through your soul, but not in an inquisitive and calculating manner. In fact, it’s quite the opposite – he looks unsure, disbelieving, and hesitant. To elicit such a reaction from this man should be recorded in the most prominent historical annals, but you do have to admit it’s a bad look on him.
When you open your mouth to say something, anything, the elevator begins its descent. Any words you had are wiped from your mind, and you do everything you can to maintain this staredown. Weeks ago, you couldn’t even begin to guess what this man would be feeling based on his eyes, but now? His heart is on his sleeve, and you can’t help the green envy in your veins at the possibility that others have seen him in such a vulnerable state.The constant battle between an illusional desire to be his everything and knowing that you never could and never should be, rages on.
You’re the first to look away. Sorry, Lumine, you think, as Alhaitham’s figure disappears from view. All you’re left with is the rotating orb above, spinning and spinning until it makes you sick to your stomach. You just want to get back to your apartment and start sweeping the dirt away, to return to some sense of normalcy before all of… this appeared. You never should’ve indulged in your whimsical desires.
-
Alhaitham hovers in a state of shock as he watches the elevator take you back down – after weeks of catching a glimpse of who he thinks is you at the cafe, hearing your voice in his head as he scribbles away on paperwork, or dreaming of escaping his duties to find you in Fontaine, he’s not sure if he really believes you were here or if it was some effective lucid dreaming. But the sudden pull, the impulsive need to just check the cover sheet when his name left your lips, was far too strong and he had dived right in without a second thought.
And there in your handwriting, in all its glory, was your name printed neatly at the bottom. One second, he was at his desk and the next, he was at the edge of the outer office ring for confirmation.
The last few minutes of his workday have never gone slower as he paces back and forth in front of his desk. He’s doing his best to stay calm and formulate a plan, but even that has become difficult for him. There are too many extraneous factors at play, several he can’t be sure of – did you meet someone new in Fontaine? Were you going to leave again?
Did you even want to see him?
You could’ve left without another word once your research paper landed in that return basket. He would’ve been none the wiser until he physically picked up the report, which probably wouldn’t have happened for another few days, what with all the cleaning up he’s trying to do before his resignation is official. All that lost time in between would have left him even more distraught.
But the fact that you had stopped and made a point to thank him, to call him out by name, means something. Like him, it seems you are just as unsure of where the two of you stand.
And that’s all he needs to move forward.
-
Granted, moving forward didn’t initially involve climbing up the fire escape ladder behind your apartment building.
With a takeout bag of your favorite foods from Lambad’s Tavern, he was originally going to knock on your front door like any other individual. But before his knuckles could rap against the Adhigama wood, he thought, why not check to see if you’re even home? That would eliminate the possibility of you seeing him through the peephole and then pretending you’re not home – or worse, you opening it and then slamming it back in his face.
His unparalleled logic led him to skip the ladder and jump onto the first floor. It’s not that he wouldn’t be able to climb it with one free hand – the food would’ve gotten messy with all the jostling around. He ignores the sound of laughing children as he ambles past, but allows the semblance of a grin to dawn his face when he hears, “Whoa, look at that mister!” Alhaitham looks above him as he climbs the next set of stairs, noticing a light peeking through the living room window. That’s one good sign, at least, because it means you’re home, right? He peers past the half-open curtains when he arrives at your floor. He’s just checking. Nothing suspicious or untoward. Yet all of that is scrapped— another deviation from his initial plan— when he sees you sitting on your couch, sorting through a pile of mail on your coffee table. With a mind of their own, his knuckles knock lightly against the glass and he can’t help but let a humorous snort slip out when your body jerked with a visceral startle, head whipping towards the source of your adrenaline spike.
You don’t need to verbally question his sudden appearance when it’s written all over your face.  Your eyebrows are knitted and arched, mouth turned down in a slight frown, hands clenched in fists with visible tension and unease. “Alhaitham, what– I mean–”
He holds up the food behind the windowpane for you to see. “I wanted to bring you dinner since you probably don’t have anything prepared on your first night back.”
Without another word, you slide open the window, letting him clamber through as you take the bag from him. He retrieves it as you lock the window and yank the curtains together, setting it on the table away from a mound of what he presumes to be junk mail. You scramble for words and coherency as you search for clean plates and utensils, but the effort is fruitless. There’s a trapped shriek in your chest and you don’t know how to snuff it out.
Dinner is a quiet affair, save for some awkward small talk here and there. He makes it a point to give you extras, whether it be a little more mint cilantro or tamarind chutney for the samosas (despite it being his favorite) or more of the lamb from the biryani. Each little morsel pushes your heart further up your throat, further sending you into a downward spiral. Why is he so kind and caring when you had essentially kicked him out last time? Why is he going out of his way to make up for a wrong he never committed?
Alhaitham basks in your company, taking in every detail of your outward appearance. You seem skinnier than before, hair just a little bit longer. A few fresh, healing cuts on your hand stand out to him and he hopes they were all accidental and not intentionally created by another human being. There’s so much he wants to say and question, but for once he cannot find the right words. Rarely has he ever felt as though he was skating on paper-thin ice with someone – years of not caring or sparing thoughts for how others might perceive him lends nothing to resolve his state of incertitude. So the only way he can currently try to communicate is through actions, hence the extra foods and your favorite parts of them, making sure you have a usable napkin at all times, refilling your cup of water when it starts to look low, and more.
With a full belly, you sigh with satisfaction, a breath that appeases Alhaitham just the slightest bit. “That was good. Thank you for bringing it.”
“You’re welcome. Was the food in Fontaine not to your taste?”
You hum in thought. “A bit bland, honestly. Not as many spices are used in their foods like they are here.”
“Ah.”
The two of you sit silently for a few moments. You’re looking anywhere and at anything but him, your knee bouncing and hands wringing together. Is he trying to let you down easy? Soften the blow? What is his end goal?
His fingers tap the table in a silent rhythm, noticing that despite the small talk, the tension in the air is still viscous. He ignores the gnawing desire to hold your hand and squeeze it tight, to graze his thumb over those scabs and kiss them. He’s not ready to leave yet, which is why he juts his chin towards the only unopened bag on the table and says, “I also brought dessert. Would you care to have some now?”
No. Yes. I don’t know. I can think of something else I want for dessert but that’s not the point right now, is what runs through your head.
“Sure. What is it? I might have something to go with it.”
“It’s baklava.”
For him to remember that baklava from Pupusa Cafe is your preferred dessert when eating your favorite dishes is even more mind-boggling in this whole situation.
You stand on shaky legs and walk towards the pantry. “Does wine sound okay?”
Alhaitham ponders your last mutual experience with alcohol, which had ended in a disaster, even if he knew full well that it wasn’t a cause by any means; an unintended catalyst. As long as neither overindulged, it would be harmless. Right?
So he nods. “That sounds good.”
You return with a corkscrew opener, two stemless wine glasses, and one of your better bottles of aged wine. Alhaitham remains silent as he takes the opener from you and drives it into the cork, hand twisting the top knob with ease. You feel shameless in the way you stare at his arms, watching his muscles flex. The veins in his hand become more visible and you can see the tension in his forearm through his arm guards, all the more when he pushes the levers closed and wiggles the cork out of its confines. He takes good care to tactfully remove the cork and place it on the table, and pours a glass for you first.
“Thank you,” you murmur as you take it from him with both hands, ignoring the way his fingers seem to linger after making contact with yours. You portion out the baklava as he pours a glass for himself and he voices his gratitude in turn.    
As you nibble on the delicacy, the silence weighs heavily on your chest, both a burden and a source of comfort. “Did you find everything you needed in Fontaine for your research?” he asks, once again attempting to make some neutral conversation. Alhaitham has never been one for sweets, but he’s willing to eat it for and with you. The cafe’s baklava is one of few desserts he can handle, as it’s not as sickeningly sweet as some other places’ when they’ve added too much syrup.
You chew slowly as you think of your answer. “I think so. I feel pretty good about my report.”
“I’ll be sure to read it soon,” he responds. After all, he is a pretty quick reader, and with the dwindling number of research project applications, he can efficiently get through the other reports to make sure he reviews yours before he goes back to being the Scribe.
“You know, there’s no need to rush on my account,” you say. Honestly, that’s the last thing you need because it would confirm your worst fears and assumptions. Everything discussed with Lumine would’ve been tossed violently out the window, and you so badly don’t want it to manifest.
“...I won’t,” he assures you. Alhaitham understands your research paper needs to be treated like every other one passing through the Akademiya, especially if he is going to be one of the formal reviewers.
You feel your lungs losing air, your heart rate soaring through the roof. With a stroke of luck, your glasses of wine are finished off and the plates hold nothing but crumbs, which provides a perfect excuse for you to get up and get away.
“I’m gonna wash the dishes,” you announce, voice doing little to hide how nervous and shaky you’re feeling. It’s another miracle that you don’t drop anything on the trek from the dining table to the sink as you wonder if you’ve killed any chance of being with Alhaitham. Where was the confidence you possessed when you first met the man?
Even being mere meters away from him becomes painful. His presence alone provides a sense of security, strong and silent. The lack of warmth, the string between you two pulled taut, ignites an obdurate yearning – the very same yearning experienced when you spent days avoiding the man prior to your departure for Fontaine. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, as they all say, and there certainly was some merit to it.
The silence remains suffocating, in some ways, but also comforts you with its deep pressure, distracting you enough that you fail to notice Alhaitham moving around. He removes his cloak and earpieces, draping them neatly over the couch armrest before he comes to stand next to you at the sink. He grabs a towel and is ready to dry when you’re done washing the dishes. Your muscles begin to relax, that earlier frost of loneliness gradually dissipating with his presence nearby. He dries everything with the utmost care and lines them up neatly as you hand them over, and you ignore the little brushes of his fingers against yours with each relinquished plate. You can’t help but wonder if he can feel the heat emanating from your cheeks because honestly, you feel like your face is on fire.
Alhaitham finishes drying off the last item – the second stemless wine glass – and turns to lean his back against the counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He waits as you rinse down the sink and passes you the towel to dry off your hands. Your timid smile leaves him hopeful that you’re not visibly shying away from him— not visibly, at least. Seconds pass, and now there is nothing left for you to do or keep yourself busy. He waits for you to gather your bearings and settle to show that you’re ready to talk about… whatever this is.
Those haunting irises suddenly meet his with an alarming amount of determination, holding steadfast and searching his for something, anything. He can’t bear to lose and look away, not that he wants to. Yet you remain quiet, and Alhaitham leans into his impulses.
With firm, sure hands, he pulls you toward his original spot and lifts you up just enough so that you’re sitting on the counter. Alhaitham plants them by your waist and bends down to be level with your gaze, which now holds hints of fear and surprise. They’re open wide, your pupils slowly dilating, and he catches a glimpse of your fingers curling around the edges of the counter. He so badly wants to cradle your face in his hands, to feel your physical presence and prove to himself that you’re really here before him. But that is intimacy he hasn’t quite been granted yet and he can’t mess this up. He must’ve done something wrong the last time he was here, and he most certainly doesn’t want to risk the same outcome again.
“I like you,” he proclaims with a resolute tone. Alhaitham has always hated beating around the bush when unnecessary, and at this point he needs it said out loud for you to know. “I have been attracted to you since the moment we met, and I used to believe that it was purely a biological response. But then I wanted to know more about you. I wanted to learn more about who you are and how your mind works. To be quite honest, I can’t stand the thought of anyone else being in my position right now. I will not hide the fact that I am selfish and want you all for myself, if you would have me.”
You are struggling so hard to keep the smile off your face, your mouth pursing while your teeth dig into the inside of your bottom lip. Three months ago, you would never have seen this coming, and you would have laughed in anyone’s face if they had suggested it.
“If you need time, I can wait. I am not always the most patient person, but for you, I am willing to do so. And–”
“I was worried that you wouldn’t want to see me again after having sex,” you interject and confess. The embarrassment of your thoughts and actions quickly becomes a heavy weight in your chest. Your nerves strain to get the better of you and shut you down before saying more, but you force yourself to push past them. Alhaitham provided you with honesty and transparency, and he deserves the same from you. “We had so much tension between us and I was worried that once it was all resolved, you wouldn’t feel the need to see me again.”
Alhaitham takes a moment to process your words, but he can still see the tension in your shoulders. You won’t meet his gaze as you look past him or at other parts of his body. “There’s something else, is there not?”
You look down at your hands in your lap, your fingers intertwined and fingertips applying pressure where they land. With how forthcoming he has been, you owe it to him to extend the same courtesy, despite how silly it feels now.
“I couldn’t understand why you would even like me,” you say, voice soft and barely audible in the silence. You’re unable to mask the melancholy in your tone when you remember how it felt to internally question his affections and assume the worst. A quiet chuckle slips past your lips, but it’s derisive and bittersweet. “I’m just another scholar and you— you were the Scribe and later Acting Grand Sage. I thought maybe people would accuse me of… providing sexual favors, to put it lightly, if you showed me any leniency or favoritism in my academic career.”
The back of your knuckles brush against his cheek as you lift your head up to take him in. “You could have anyone in the world and you deserve nothing but the best. So why me?”
“I would need a few all-nighters and several pieces of paper to pen down every reason why.”
His quick reasoning with all indicators of certainty – his tone, the lack of any dishonesty in his eyes, the way he holds your eye contact – takes you for a loop. You’re only able to let out a soft “oh” as you let the implications of his words swim in your brain, leaving you helpless to find a suitable response. How do you follow up on an answer like that?
When he feels your fingers slipping down his jawline, he stops it with his own to press his cheek into your palm. “If it provides you any comfort, I will no longer be the Acting Grand Sage by next week. You know how long I’ve waited for them to process and approve of my resignation. And as the Scribe… it still does not matter. People who would assume something so salacious are simply capitalizing on their own insecurities, and they do not deserve a second of your time or an ounce of room in your thoughts. I do my best to exercise fairness and reason in all matters for the Akademiya, and even as my partner you would not be safe from that.
“I’ve never shied away from telling you how things are and you know this. I can ensure you would not earn any favoritism or leniency within the boundaries of the Akademiya, should my presence be involved in your research.”
The smirk that creeps up at the corner of his lips ignites a small flame in your belly – thrill and heat and trepidation all melding together. “Now, outside of those boundaries, it’s a different matter. If I may pry once more, what is your answer?”
Liquid fire pumps from your heart and into your veins, further fueling the heat in your core. Just as it dips dangerously lower, so does your hand, and the other joins in lightly scraping your nails down his abdomen. You feel him jump beneath your touch and relish in the sound of his swallow, and how his breath hitches when your fingertips dip into the band of his pants. They tug him forward until he’s standing between your thighs, just centimeters of nothingness between you two. Even as close as he is, Alhaitham can’t help but think there’s still too much space unoccupied.
Your eyes scream, beseeching him to understand your actions and for him to respond in kind. It can only mean one thing, but he wants to hear those words. He wants it engraved in his memories for the rest of time, despite the desperation to give in and give you both what you desire and need. Alhaitham grasps your chin between his thumb and curled index finger, leaning forward closer and closer until his lips barely touch yours.
“Use your words.”
Arousal seeps through your underwear as the subdued tenor of his voice sends shivers down your spine. Wholly unfair, this man is. Devilish, demanding, teasing, controlling – but most of all, he is yours.
“Please let me have you, if you will have me,” you whisper against his lips, eyelashes fluttering closed at the faint touch.
No sooner when you are greeted by darkness does he fully slot his mouth against yours, hands gripping tightly on your hips to pull you against him. A groan slips past and into you because gods, he’s missed this so much. After nights of waking up with the ghost of your kisses, he never wants this to end and longs for a reality where time can stop and he can take his sweet, sweet time to worship every millimeter of your body with his lips, and then some. Excitement electrifies his whole body when you reciprocate his desire ounce for ounce, and even more so when you let out a pretty little whine, just for him.
When he pulls back for a chance to breathe, he doesn’t move far. “Good girl,” he praises so sweetly, the words washing over you in something akin to pride for eliciting his approval and pleasing him. Alhaitham slides the tip of his nose against yours, moving to kiss your forehead, then your cheeks, your jawline, and the pulse point on your neck. Even the slightest pressure has you tilting your head to the side, granting him permission and room to do as he pleases. Alhaitham bides his time to press whispers of kisses onto your skin until he nips a sensitive spot. A sharp inhale pierces through the kitchen when he sucks on the patch of skin caught between his teeth, taking the utmost care to break the little capillaries underneath. He wants you to experience his phantom touches on these spots in the hours when he’s away from you, a constant reminder that you are his and his alone.
Your fingers dig into Alhaitham’s silver locks, torn between pressing him further into your neck and pulling him away. “Haitham,” you plead and tug on his strands, which only prompts an even harsher abrasion from him. “Wanna kiss you.” Your voice is breathy, and you feel as if you’re on the verge of tears. Who is he to deny such a reasonable request?
Though instead, he pulls you off the counter and rushes to your bedroom with you in tow, granting your wish as soon as you enter. The back of his knees hit the foot of your bed and Alhaitham drags you with him when he sits on top of your blankets. Despite your eagerness to clamber over and straddle him, he disapproves when you attempt to exercise a modicum of control over the situation by leveraging some height over him, utilizing gravity to lean into his embrace and kisses. His palms slide up your thighs with reverence until they dig into the crevice of your hips and yank them down. To have you pressed fully against him is most certainly a blessing, and there’s no way you don’t feel his growing arousal against yours.
When he feels his bottom lip stuck between your teeth, Alhaitham smiles. It still seems you’re not fully understanding the position you’re in. Perhaps, he might need to remind you of just who exactly is succumbing to who.
You keen when his hands dip underneath your shirt to draw meaningless patterns into your waist, but also to make his mark as he holds tight enough that you think you would feel some internal bruising tomorrow. They dance higher and higher, until they meet the bottom seam of your bra, and you nearly choke with the arousal suffocating your lungs.
“Can I?” Alhaitham almost begs, but watches for any sign of hesitation.
“Yes,” you breathe back. You lift your arms up, waiting with thinning patience, and he wastes no time in following through, tossing the shirt to the side with one hand as the other busies to unhook the metal clasp of your bra. Soon enough, your upper body is bare for him to see, to touch, to love – and his breath is taken away because you are so, so beautiful; perfect breasts with hardened nipples, an empty canvas all for him. He made a mistake last time for not seeing them properly, having been too focused on the way they felt against his chest instead.
“Fuck me,” he murmurs. His subsequent scoff feels derisive, sardonic, self-destructive, and his thumbs ghost over your areolas. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous – this is unfair.”
“You’re the one who’s unfair,” you retaliate with a shaky breath as you nearly tear off his shirt. One look at his muscular and toned frame, and it takes everything to stop the drool from spilling past your lips. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”
“Be careful,” he warns, his fingers digging into the flesh just underneath your breasts. Alhaitham holds onto you as he scoots further back onto the bed, and once he deems there’s enough room, he rolls over until he’s hovering above you, panting and hair splayed and lips swollen. “I’m just a feeble scholar.”
When you roll your eyes with an excessive amount of sass, he dips down to capture your right nipple in his mouth and gives a harsh suck as punishment, satisfied when all defiance on your face morphs into pleasure. Pretty, responsive, little angel, all for him, so sweet, so delicate, so adorable when your spine arches into his mouth and continues to suspend itself as he pays his respects to your other breast. You feel your conscience become fuzzier and fuzzier, dissolving into mush as the tendrils of overstimulation begin to grow, and once again, you find yourself torn between wanting to let him continue and wanting him to stop.
He decides to grant you some mercy when you can’t help but twitch and shy away. Alhaitham’s primal desires begin to crest and wash away any rationale, desperate to keep the taste and feel of your skin between his lips and on his tongue. He doesn’t quite understand this newfound desire to nip and bite, but all he knows is that when he does, his arousal pulses and nearly threatens to break past the seam of his pants. Alhaitham moves lower, lower, ghosting past your stomach, nudging past the band of your bottoms and underwear to tug them down all the way. Those are thrown out of view and he finally, finally, gets to continue from where he last left off, taking no time to push your legs away towards your chest and give a lascivious lick up the length of your cunt. The tip of his tongue meets your clit at the end of its journey, and he firmly holds you down when your hips buck into his mouth as it circles the nub.
It’s game over when he takes it fully in his mouth.
Your hands twist themselves once more into his silver hair, expletives slipping off your tongue as you chase your high. You feel your pussy clench around nothing the higher you climb, the coil in your core winding tighter and tighter. He eats you out like a man starved, enthusiasm unveiled and clear. His passion unbridled and sending you further into the clouds, you feel tears in your eyes begin to well up from sheer bliss, so sensitive and so unbelievably unprepared for everything this man was going to give you tonight. “Haitham,” you cry over and over, his name a mantra and prayer.
When he leans back, you catch a glimpse of the sheen on his chin and the way his eyes remain focused on your arousal, pupils blown. “You taste so good,” he compliments, his voice somehow having dropped an octave lower. “Could eat you out for hours. So good for me, fuck.” It’s dangerous how much you love to hear him curse, knowing that you are the reason why. The rational, feeble, well-spoken scholar, his prose extending to situations such as now, is almost reduced to such crude and filthy vocabulary.
Alhaitham would need to be blind to miss your sticky precum practically spilling from your core after what he said. It’d be a shame to let any of it go to waste, he muses, as he drags his tongue up the length of your cunt and pays attention to your clit again. He watches for every reaction, what makes you tug him closer, what makes your body twitch and convulse, what causes the shakiest exhales from your lungs, what contributes to your squeals and cries – he wants you to get a taste of just how unhinged he becomes in your presence.
Each moment of friction, so wet and slick, against your core seems to send you further and further into oblivion. Tears overflow when your heart bursts and Alhaitham doesn’t miss them – the sheen sliding down the sides of your face shines in the moonlight and he knows there is no reason to fear you’re in pain. He drinks in your moans and feels your fingers tangle further in his silver strands, nails scraping lightly against his scalp, your hips with a mind of their own as you grind against his tongue and nose to chase your release. Alhaitham pays no mind to the way his cock twitches once more in his pants or the unmistakable wet spot that’s formed from his own precum.
The coil in your abdomen wounds tighter and tighter. There is nothing on your mind but the man between your legs and your impending orgasm, one with an intensity you haven’t experienced in ages. “ ‘m close,” you gasp and meet his burning gaze. “Please, wanna cum – yes – please, sir–”
How he doesn’t cum in his pants at the title is beyond his comprehension, but the stroke to his ego is welcoming, to say the least. Alhaitham never felt any type of way when others addressed him as so, sometimes annoyed even, but from you? It is everything. A verbal indication of relinquishing your power to him, your existence at its highest vulnerability, the underlying respect, the implicit trust hidden between three letters – only has him pushing down harder against your thighs, leaving no room for you to fight. The resolve and determination to have you cum on his tongue only increases and his thoughts plunder further into hell. Cum for me, cum on my tongue, let me taste your release that I give you, so fucking addictive – his silent commands painted on your tight bundle of nerves.
With Alhaitham exercising a dizzyingly sinful strength against you, leaving you helpless and defenseless, you let yourself succumb as your heart rate increases. Your breathy warnings and pleas, the oh fuck!s, the whimpering sir!s, confessions of love on the tip of your tongue – you have one minute, moment of clarity when your body freezes, and the coil snaps.
You don’t think you’ve ever cum so hard before, reality-shattering, nerves on overdrive, your body trembling beneath his palms as you ride out the pleasure for as long as you can. The quiet scream from your lungs is inevitable as it dissolves into sobs and Alhaithm follows you when your hips buck. There’s not enough oxygen for you and you can feel the visceral clenching of your abdomen as you fight for air and some semblance of control again – but that flies out the window when, for the first time tonight, Alhaitham slides his tongue inside your quivering cunt.
Said Scribe cannot help but groan, and he wishes he’d done this earlier. To feel your creamy walls squeeze as his taste buds slide amongst them, your keening ringing in his ears, the shaking of your thighs a prisoner between his fingers, the intoxicating taste of your cum – all of it is more than he could have ever dreamed of. Right where he wants you, and all his, his, his.
The incessant tugging of his hair tells him to stop for now, as much as he doesn’t want to. If it were up to him, he’d have you cumming on his tongue for hours, his hard cock be damned. But your convulsions of overstimulation manage to generate the slightest bit of sympathy and he laments when pulling away. His eyes hone in on the way your pussy contracts around nothing, almost begging for something to fill you again. “Good girl,” he praises, tenor delicate and charming, as he rubs gentle circles on your abdomen in an attempt to ground you. There are stars in your eyes, and he waits for you to come back to him.
You barely register Alhaitham’s hand on your body as you stare up at the ceiling, brain and soul somewhat disconnected due to the high of your orgasm. So good to me, your thoughts coo. Haitham, sir, how can I show my gratitude to him?
“Y/N,” and at last, you make eye contact with him. He preens at the blissed out look on your face and moves forward until he’s lying next to you, his weight supported on one arm while the other brushes away your baby hairs. A dreamy smile graces your lips, and he can’t help but lean forward for a soft kiss. Languid, sensual, pliant – several minutes fly by as you bask in each other’s presence until the need for more begins to bloom again. Alhaitham lets out a chuckle when he feels your hand wandering down his frame until it rests on his crotch. Making out with you has kept him semi-hard, and he’s happy you’re taking the initiative. Not that you’re in control, by any means, but it’s cute that you might think so.
Your mind reels from just how big he feels beneath your palm. You can’t deny the times when you’ve sneaked glances at his crotch, his tight pants outlining a slight bulge from day to day – but you never thought your fingers would be splayed so far apart, and you just know they would struggle to meet when gripping his length. Your whines reach his ears as you fumble with the clasp above the zipper, and Alhaitham is so kind, kind enough to take over and do it for you. Seconds later, his pants and underwear join the pile of forgotten clothes, and you immediately look down at what you’ve been waiting for.
The instant pooling of saliva in your mouth is embarrassing, shame and lust spilling into your chest and through your veins. Alhaitham’s cock is so beautiful, just like the rest of him, and you’ve never wanted something in your mouth so bad. It twitches under your reverent gaze, and the tip glistens with his precum. Even the noticeable veins drawn along his length are beautiful, and his balls seem to be engorged, heavy with cum. You prove your earlier hypothesis when you hold it in your hand, and your fingers truly do not meet around the circumference. A gush of slick leaks and paints your inner thighs, your hand seemingly tiny in comparison as you slowly stroke him.
Alhaitham hisses at your touch, so cold against the heat of his cock. There’s a passing thought of wanting to keep that fawning look on your face at all times, the metaphorical hearts in your eyes with his dick in your hand. In a moment of weakness, the thought begins to spiral into darker fantasies, how to keep you hooked and dependent on him, his cock, his mouth, his touch. A flash of a daydream crosses by of him sitting in his office chair, you on your knees between his legs, his shaft bullied deep in your throat as you keep it warm for him, drool and spit spilling from the corner of your lips, so submissive and desperate for him to fuck your face–
Your thumb glosses over his frenulum and he is ripped from his reverie. At risk of cumming too quickly, he thinks of how to keep your soft hands away for now. What can he use? How can he restrict you?
Ah.
Confused whimpers follow after him when he abruptly stands up from your bed and walks over to the pile of discarded clothes. You miss the warmth of his body next to you, goosebumps from the sudden chill rising on your skin. But before you can begin to chase after him, he returns to sit on the bed and beckons for you to sit up for him.
He loves how willing you are to obey him, your eyes wide and a little awestruck as you follow his gesture – almost as if he were your puppeteer. Alhaitham holds out his hands in front of him, palms facing the ceiling, and you match the posture with intrigue painted across your face. As you wait, clarification comes to you when he reveals the patterned, teal sash that usually encompasses his hips. Slow, deliberate movements as he wraps the cloth around your wrists (in case you don’t want it because he would never force you to do anything you were uncomfortable with), indicate this uncharted territory. And when the tie is made and the knot is pulled tight, you look up at him.
“Is this okay?” He asks. When you give a mute nod, he clicks his tongue in disapproval. “Words, Y/N.”
“I-I’m sorry,” you stammer. “Yes, sir, it’s okay.”
Alhaitham watches as you lay back until your head meets the pillow, and your bound wrists lay prettily above your head. Your constrained and exposed body greets him. He sees your eyes strain to catch another glance at his cock, and the smirk on his lips is nothing but smug as he gives it a few quick pumps as a gift to you.
“Can you come here?” You plead because you know there’s no room to make any demands, and it’s his turn to be curious. Nevertheless, he resumes his original position by your side, but you shake your head. You can tell he doesn’t know what’s happening, but you are feeling shameless and powerless, at the mercy of this man, and you want him to really, really, drive that point deeper.
“Can you…straddle me? Like above my chest though?”
If this is going where Alhaitham thinks it’s going, he might just abandon the Akademiya altogether, whisk you away to his house, kick out Kaveh and have him live in your apartment instead, and keep his own doors locked for eternity. He does as you ask as he thrums in excitement, his cock weighty and leaking when you’re satisfied with where he is.
Time slows to a crawl as he watches you lift your head up with your pretty mouth open and take the tip of his cock between your glossy lips.
The tight heat is maddening, a strangled “fuck” falling off his tongue, and you push forward to take more of his length in your mouth. So dutiful and loyal, you have proven yourself, as you suck his cock with your eyes closed and moans vibrating around him. Given certain physical limitations, there’s only so much you can take in, which is where he believes it’s his time to act his part. He places a hand on the back of your skull to provide you some relief, but also to sink deeper down your throat. Naturally, you fall back until it’s just the head between your lips again, but he is right there to drag you back towards him and fill your depraved mouth.
“Look at you,” he hisses, controlling your pace. Such a good little fucktoy, no?  “Who knew you would want my cock so badly? For me to sit on top and watch as you struggle to even take half of it in your mouth? I don’t think you have any idea of what you’ve started. Your lips are stretched so wide, but just wide enough for me to fit perfectly in between them, like it was made for me. Maybe that’s what it is.” His perverse thoughts run wild without any composure or filter, and he is unable to hold it in. “You were made for me and my cock, and– oh fuck – it seems like you love the idea of being my personal cocksleeve.”
Your eagerness to please him increases as you strain to take more in, his tip slipping into and catching the back of your throat. The sound of you choking on his cock rings in your ears, sending you further and further into oblivion. Every word from Alhaitham sounds true, and he’s right – right that maybe you were specifically made for him, his own blessing from the Archons, and right that you deeply, painfully, love the idea of letting him use you as he wishes. A garbled cry, followed by more sticky release dripping from your cunt, doesn’t go unnoticed when his voice sounds ragged on the word “cocksleeve.” It’s a lascivious tone of accord and approval, and your tears flow when he pulls you as far down his length as your quenched throat allows, your chained wrists resting atop your skull, and he keeps you there.
“This is what you want, isn’t it?” He asks with a teasing lilt in his voice. “I have no objections to fully commit to being yours, your sir. But you must understand I expect the same commitment in return. This cock is yours,” Alhaitham promises, relishing in your muffled whimper of agreement. “And you are mine. My,” – a pause – “personal, depraved, slut.”
At first, he worries he might have gone too far with such a derogatory term, but they are all dashed aside when he watches your eyelids flutter closed and eyes roll into the back of your head. A long whine sends him into overdrive, and even more so when you try to fit more of his cock down your throat. Expletives slip from his tongue as he pulls you away completely, a tendril of saliva connecting your lips to his tip, your mouth still wide open while gasping for air. He sees your own tongue peek out and rest on your bottom lip, pliant and waiting for him to return.
Alhaitham lets go of your skull and watches you fall back to your pillow. He moves your tied hands above and over your head until they settle right above your belly button. The position allows him to trap your arms beneath him and move just a little further up the bed for the bottom half of his length to weigh heavily on your eager mouth. It remains open as he drags his shaft along your tongue, teasing you by slipping the head of his cock in your mouth. Your lips immediately close around it, but they are no match for when he pulls away, and you’re left empty once again.
“Truly a cockslut,” he chides as his hand takes a hold of his length and smacks it against your tongue. “You’ll take everything I give you, won’t you?” And he smirks when you nod, still beckoning, still waiting. “You’ve done well for me so far. Perhaps I should give you a gift.”
There’s little time to regain your senses when he shoves his length in until it hits the back of your throat once more and grabs onto your headboard. Just that angle gives him enough leverage to fuck your face as he pleases.
“If your mouth is this tight, I can only imagine what your cunt will feel like on my cock,” he grits out. Your brain goes numb as you take it all in, content and satisfied to please Alhaitham. You focus on making sure your teeth don’t drag against his skin, tongue swiping patterns and circles around his cock when possible. “I’ll need to take my time stretching out your tiny pussy, won’t I? Fuck, need to make it fit inside you. Isn’t that right?”
Alhaitham pretends to be dissatisfied with your moan, all garbled and thick with drool. “How many times do I need to tell you to use your words?” He teases, knowing full well there’s no way for you to form any right now. But a wicked, joyous laugh rings in your ears when he can tell you’re attempting to do it anyways. It goes straight down his dick and into his balls, and as they tighten further, he knows he’s close.
You don’t know how it’s possible for him to grow any thicker, but somehow it happens when his pace increases, and he tells you, “I’m going to cum, okay? Going to give you all my cum, make you my cumslut. You want to be my cumslut, you’re doing so well, so perfect, letting me fuck your mouth. Shit, cumming, cumming –!”
At the very last second, he pulls out and furiously pumps his cock, shifting back just in time for his cum to paint your breasts. “Fuck!” He growls and rides out the high until there’s nothing left to give you, blinding light beneath his eyelids before he snaps them open so he can watch you become covered by his release. Viscous, white ropes paint over you, some even landing on your cheek and neck. His chest heaves and his eyes remain unfocused from the fog in his brain.
That is, until he watches you swipe his cum from your neck with your fingers before it drips onto the bed, and place them in your mouth. Your sigh screams content as you lick them clean, and as far as he can tell, you’re enjoying the taste of him – as if he was the one to sate your thirst rather than the other way around. In a trance, he joins you in your meal by feeding you more with his own appendages, and his dick returns to half-mast once all the cum is visibly gone and slid down your throat.
“Thank you for your cum,” you say, your voice dreamy and euphoric. Alhaitham pulls you by your bound wrists again until you’re sitting up close enough, and buries his head into your shoulder, embedding his own kisses of gratitude into your skin. It doesn’t matter that there’s dried spit on your chin and your hair is a mess – you’re still so incredibly stunning to him.
To look into your eyes, to cradle your face in his palm, to ghost his thumb over your cheekbone, how lucky he is to be in a position to even ask you, “Was that okay?”
“Very,” you smile, unabashed and clearly happy with everything that had just happened. A small giggle slips out as well.
“Good,” he murmurs after kissing your forehead. “Would you be open to one more round? It seems I haven’t gotten enough of you.”
You see the evidence of his claims, how his cock gradually grows and rises under your watchful stare. His earlier words of needing to stretch you out before he can fuck you play in your head, and they remind you of just how wet you are. Still tied up, you scoot back away from him until you can stretch your legs out, parted to reveal what you so desperately wanted to touch as his dick was lodged in your mouth. Alhaitham’s pupils dilate and zero in on the mess between your thighs, and he chases after you to spread your legs farther.
“You became this wet from me fucking your mouth?” His fingers slide against the folds of your puffy cunt, your clit peeking out and swollen. “Tsk, all this pre gone to waste,” and you whimper when his nails barely graze that bundle of nerves, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. There’s no resistance when he works his middle finger inside you and your breath hitches. He turns his wrist as he fingers you, creating more and more arousal coursing through your veins. Alhaitham is proud that one finger of his affects you so. You whine and reach for him with grabby hands, managing to latch onto his wrist so he can keep his appendages buried inside you. “My my,” he teases, and his fingers curl, searching and searching until his fingertip taps against the exact spot that makes your back arch.
“You’re so eager to be filled,” Alhaitham taunts as he lubes up his ring finger with your slick. You feel even tighter when it slips in with his middle finger, and he finds that spot again in no time, already having memorized where it is. “You don’t have my permission to cum yet,” he warns, a decision just made when your walls are really beginning to clench around him.
“B-but–”
A third finger joins in, cutting you off from any protesting. “You either cum on my cock or not at all,” he offers and you think it’s beyond cruel. Why can’t you cum on his fingers and his cock?
With every last thread of your existence, you stamp down the growing desire to cum again. It feels like hours have passed, your sanity barely intact, when Alhaitham hums, just loud enough to be heard amongst your moans and whines. “I’m beginning to question whether I truly am too big for you,” he contemplates out loud. “What do you think, Y/N?”
It’s so hard to answer his question when you’re using everything else inside you to not break around his fingers. The depraved squelching of your slick only adds fuel to the fire in your core, and you’re trying to think, you really are–
The friction ceases, and before you can even address it, there’s a light, punishing slap across your clit. “Fuck,” you whimper, throat dry.
“Answer my question. Do you think I might not fit inside you?”
You know what answer he’s looking for. You know he wants you to surrender to his hidden intentions, that, “It doesn’t matter,” and you swallow. “I will…make it fit.”
In turn, he removes his fingers with care, but leaves you horribly empty with the void expanding into your chest. “Do you have a condom?” Alhaitham asks while looking around your bedroom.
“The bottom drawer on the right in the bathroom.”
Your sir leans forward to place a gentle kiss on your stomach. “I will return soon.”
For the seconds that you try to catch your breath, to calm your beating heart, to ignore the vacuity between your legs, you realize just where you are and who you’re with. You haven’t had much of a clear mind since the second he knocked on your window, caught up in the whirlwind of your nerves and paranoia – and then to have it turned on its head where you now lay in your bed, free of any prior anxiety, and drown in your lust.
Alhaitham wanders back into your room, focused on the package in his hand. Shameless and perverse, your eyes drink in his length, bobbing with each step. Even you’re beginning to doubt your ability to take him all in, but the anticipation, the threads of excitement that you may be filled again clouds over everything else.
“Hold your legs for me,” he commands gently, and you obey once he unties the sash around your wrists. Your arms hook beneath your knees so that everything is displayed and exposed to him. He sets the condom to the side when he shuffles closer so his hips meet the bottom of your thighs. Your breath hitches when he presses his cock onto your abdomen, and it pleases both of you so much to see that his tip just about reaches your belly button. “Look at how deep it’ll be inside you,” he coos, your whine following. “But it’s okay if you can’t take it all, you can’t help it that your little cunt is so tight.”
There’s a twinge of faux disappointment in his words. As if on instinct, you shake your head in vehement disagreement. “I’ll make it fit, sir, I promise,” you gasp and pull your legs closer to you. “We have to make it fit.”
“Mmm, my eager cocksleeve,” he responds with mirth, his regales washing away the panic from your system. You wait with bated breath as he grinds the underside of his entire length against your glistening folds, purposely catching onto your clit when possible. You’re not sure how much longer you can stand the torture, becoming wetter and wetter with each glide. “The color system is okay to check in with you?”
“Yes.”
He nods and leans back so the tip of his cock is just outside your entrance. His fingers roll and stretch the condom down his length. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to tear his gaze away from your core so he can obtain your consent to start, and the determined nod he receives sets his heart aflame.
A sinful perversion enters his mind as he watches your messy cunt split open and stretch over the head of his cock. He thinks about the future and wonders when the day will be for you to be in his lap and sink down his cock with no hesitation. His thumbs spread your folds further apart so he can get a better look, his lustful illusions from many lonely nights finally coming into play. Your breathy gasp when the head pops in is alluring, and he craves more of it. That perversion echoes its lack of satisfaction, that this is not enough, and he needs it all. Pride fills his chest as you take the first few inches with no problem, trying to take deep breaths as he continues to bully his way into your pussy.
Though internally, your mind is on the verge of breaking from how thick Alhaitham is. The emptiness from earlier has long been fulfilled, and you take a look to see that he’s barely fit half oh him inside you, and you already feel so full.
You were made for me.
I was made for him, you remind yourself, rationality thrown out the window because serving Alhaitham is all that matters in this moment. He’s giving you his cock, taking his time for you, providing a subtle reminder of just who you will belong to from here on out. Alhaitham has been so kind to you, you think. The least you could do is to be his good little slut, so eager and always yearning for him.
“You’re doing so well,” Alhaitham praises, though his voice chokes. You’re terribly tight around him, so much so that he wonders if he would even be able to pull out once he’s buried all of himself inside you. It wouldn’t be much of a problem, he thinks, to have you stuck on his cock for eternity, fucked dumb with nothing on your mind but him and pleasure. His hand puts the slightest pressure on your abdomen, but it’s enough for you to break with an “oh!”
“Fuck, I can almost feel myself inside you,” he marvels. “Color?”
It takes you a few seconds to process his question. “Green,” falls off your tongue with a whimper. But the bit of hesitation is enough for Alhaitham to stop in his tracks.
“Y/N, look at me.”
A dreamy hum on your lips, your blown out eyes meet his, and he realizes how far gone you are. “We can stop, it’s okay if we do.” But that may have been the wrong thing to say because your face falls, tears prickling your eyes. “I can do it,” you sniffle. “Please, sir.”
There is no way for him to remain unaffected by the way you address him, but he ensures to take extra care for the last few inches.
“You’re doing so well, taking all of me in. You’re keeping your promise, I’m so proud of you,” Alhaitham coos. The bottom of his shaft is just a little bit thicker, and you let out a happy squeal when your cunt stretches as much as it can to accommodate him. His tip barely grazes your cervix, and through your floaty thoughts, you almost wish it was deeper. The groan from Alhaitham as he bottoms out provides you comfort. It can only mean that you’re making him feel good, and that you did manage to have him fit inside you. So pleased with yourself, your pussy clenches around him and coaxes for more, for his cum.
If Alhaitham didn’t have better control of himself, he would’ve cum right then and there. Buried deep inside you, warm velvety walls sucking him in – it’s hard to believe that this is really happening. The person he loves is in his arms, joined with him in the most intimate way known to mankind. He never wants to leave you, leave this, yet his cock begs for friction. Your adorable whine of protest as he slides out a couple inches beckons him to return, and return he does as you let out a sound of pure satisfaction.
“Loveyou,” your words slurred together and fuzzy. “Love, love your cock, please, wan’ more, please?”
Archons, how are you so perfect for him? Alhaitham sets a steady, moderate pace and focuses on you, ensuring that you’re okay and pleased. It seems there’s a permanent grin on your face, even when you gasp or scream, and he’s determined to keep it there. When you seem completely accustomed to his pace, his strokes become longer and more indulgent. “Fuck,” you cry each time he fills you up with more and more of his cock with each stroke. His thumbs rub circles into your clit and drive you closer to your peak – you don’t know if you’re ready to cum yet, or if you want this to end. You don’t, but you’re so close–!
“Such a good girl for me – your little cunny was really made for my cock. There’s no one else for me, just you, pretty girl,” he breathes, seeing the hesitation on your face as your walls clench tighter than before. “I know you’re gonna cum soon, I want to see you cum on my cock. Can you do that for me?”
Anything he asks for, you would go to great lengths to give him what he wants. So if he wants you to cum, then you have to. You nod with a pout on your face, but Alhaitham leans forward, pushing your legs back further as he reaches to kiss the pout away. “That’s my good girl, so perfect.”
He pulls out completely, but why?
Alhaithm grabs and maintains eye contact with you for two agonizing seconds, and then commands you to, “Cum for me.”
And you do just that when he slams his entire length inside you as soon as those words leave his lips.
Alhaitham basks in your scream and sobs, your body convulsing and trembling beneath him, your walls an impossible vice around his cock. He grinds against you to go as deep as he can, “fuckfuckfuck”, and a growl buried in your neck as he cums. In your high, you think you can feel the heat and its spasms of it all, passively wondering what it would feel like to have him cum inside you without a condom. Perhaps one day you’ll be granted a nice little breeding session, but that is neither here nor there.
Alhaitham plants pecks and kisses all over your face, neck, and shoulders, smiling when your little giggles reach his heart. If anything, he’s just happy that everything turned out okay and didn’t end up in a disaster like last time. As he observes the serenity gracing your complexion, he cannot contain his affection any longer.
“Thank you…for having me.” I love you.
Another giggle. “I love you, too, Haitham. A lot.”
You’re kindly gifted a most adoring eskimo kiss. “I need to get you cleaned up, so I need to pull out, okay?”
The pout returns despite your agreement, and Alhaitham spends much needed time to pull out without you breaking. The devil on his shoulder protests otherwise, as it attempts to coax him into keeping you speared on his cock for the night, or more. Your whine of loss tugs at his heartstrings and feeds into his greed, and he embraces you once more to keep you grounded. Slowly, but surely, you return to your senses. Alhaitham is heavy and sweaty against you, but it’s more than you could ask for. A few taps on his shoulder are enough to tell him that you’re back on the same plane of reality with him, and he dives in to kiss you again, painting compliments and praises of how amazing you were along your lips.  
Alhaitham then sweeps you off the bed, into his arms, and takes hurried steps towards the bathroom. You’re like a delicate flower with the way he places you on the toilet, and he reminds you of the importance of peeing after sex. Your privacy is granted when he leaves to remove and tie off the condom to discard it in the kitchen trash can, and later returns with a warm, wet towel. He waits until you’re back in bed and comfortable before he tenderly wipes away any excess fluids and leaves it on your nightstand before cuddling next to you. You turn towards him and burrow into his chest, content as his arms embrace you with an air of security and protection.
He mumbles something into your hair, but you’re out before you can even think to ask what he said.
-
When you finally come to, you can’t remember the last time you slept so well. No tiresome dreams, no sporadically waking up in the night – weeks out in the nature with Lumine had turned you into a light sleeper, and you missed this feeling of being so well-rested.
But the soreness in your thighs screams otherwise, and you wince when they refuse to cooperate. A muscular arm rests around you as if it has always belonged there. At first you question why it’s there, but then your brain decides to wake up and remind you just exactly of what transpired last night. Despite the mixture of shock and embarrassment (mainly at just how wanton you acted), you look up from where you are buried into Alhaitham’s chest. Somehow, you’re surprised to see him already awake. Well, surprised may not be the right word. But the clear adoration in his eyes is unmistakable, seizing and pulling on your heartstrings.
Alhaitham quite enjoys watching you think and process, imagining the fine-tuned gears and cogs in your brain working in overdrive. He remains silent as he smooths out some of the tangles in your hair, and he patiently waits to hear from you. You two had already experienced many hours of quietude before, so this was nothing new for him. There are very few moments in his life when he’s felt this serene and content, half-naked and you pressed against him, both drinking in each other and the light of day coming from your window. He could get used to this. He wants to get used to this.
“You’re making me breakfast in bed,” you decide with your first words of the day, grumbling with a pout on your face. “I don’t think I can walk properly.”
The former scribe arches a perfect silver brow, but the shit-eating smirk stretching along his face is anything but confusion. He knows exactly what you’re implying, and he’s quite satisfied with himself for causing such a situation. Perhaps he should do it more often.
“That I can do,” he agrees, his morning voice deep, yet full of mirth. After a quick kiss on your forehead, he rolls out of bed to do just as you command.
The growl from your stomach prevents you from calling him back because you’re cold now. A shiver runs down your spine as you tighten the blanket and sheet around you, tucking some beneath your chin in an attempt to trap whatever warmth you have left. But when you catch a hint of Alhaitham’s lingering scent, you feel yourself immediately calm down and breathe evenly. The gentle cluttering from your kitchen provides another layer of security as well.
Lost in your basking, you’re quite startled when you feel Alhaitham’s lips on your cheek, a tray in his hands with a light, yet nutritious breakfast arranged. But as you continue to lay there, he can’t help but laugh.
“Do you need help sitting up?”
“No.”
“Don’t be stubborn.”
You do, in fact, need his strength to sit up comfortably against some pillows. The embarrassment hasn’t quite worn off by the time he slides back underneath the sheets to sit next to you, an arm slung over your shoulders as you eat. But in seconds, it dissipates, and is replaced with something akin to love. For you both to finally be here, together as if you two have been dating for years, is exactly the outcome you have been wishing for.
“You know,” he starts before being interrupted by a forkful of food shoved into his mouth, courtesy of you. “You’re a perfect reason why I can finally kick Kaveh out of my home.”
You swat his shoulder with your free hand. “That’s so mean!”
“He can just move in here. I’m not that heartless to leave him homeless. Is that what you think of me?”
You answer without hesitation, “Yes.”
With the hand hanging off your shoulder, his nails scrape lightly in retaliation against the skin beneath your collar bone.
“If I recall, I was pretty fair with you last night,” he murmurs into your hair. “Perhaps I need to remind you just how fair when you’re done with breakfast.”
And you’ve never finished a meal so quickly.
fin.
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devsgames · 8 months
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As a dev who didn't really follow Baldur's Gate 3's development I was incredibly surprised at the number of people who have been making really sweeping and baseless claims about its success: stuff like "the game is made well by people who are passionate", or claim that other devs "just have to make good games", or that it's successful "because it doesn't have microtransactions". It's not that surprising I guess since Gamers tend to say these things about any product they happen to like and agree with, but I guess it was surprising to me how much people were saying it about this game specifically.
I'm sure the devs were passionate and I've sort of been enjoying my time with it, but frankly the success of BG3 absolutely does not feel like a design or development thing to me, but it's an obvious marketing and business one.
Having a good game obviously very much helps, but the fact of the matter is that rhetoric like this intentionally overlooks or downplays the real industry success factors: that BG3 is the third game in an already-popular and established legacy CRPG series that is built on an engine and mechanics by a studio which already made two other (unrelated) financially successful games on of the same genre, with all of it built on a back of a TTRPG franchise that has for the past few years been undergoing a huge resurgence in popularity and in no doubt funded through that partnership and licensing deals. Franchises like safe bets to make a profit, and this feels like the safest of bets. It really isn't successful because the game isn't adopting user-hostile monetization or because it's approach is radically different from any other game's development, it's successful because all these business factors.
To that end, whenever someone implies that other devs should just make games the same way...it's really funny! Like, the stars have aligned to make this product a hit and this doesn't implicitly make it a bastion or model for equitable game development just because it sold well and doesn't adopt hostile monetization schemes.
The fact of the matter is there's lots of games that are well-made by passionate devs and don't feature microtransactions or hostile monetization schemes, and they don't implicitly do well because of these design decisions alone; usually it's because they failed at marketing or didn't have the AAA budget to promote themselves like BG3. I'm also willing to bet that like every AAA studio, the devs at Larian likely weren't equitably compensated for this success, since most productions on a game of such a massive scale like this only really turn a profit because they undercut those working on it - huge profit and equitable compensation aren't often compatible concepts in game development. It's not like that would be any different here, so the "other devs should look to this game on how it should be made ethically" is a strange pull to me as well.
Basically this is all to say I think it's incredibly reductive to hold a product up on a pedestal by virtue of sales figures and choosing not to enact hostile monetization schemes. After all, I'm severely doubtful a product like BG3 would have done poorly assuming it had microtransactions in the first place. There's just way too many other factors that guided it alonge.
Do we need big budget games to move away from predatory business models that attempt to exploit the most vulnerable players? Absolutely yes I think we do, but I think people would also value from staying aware of real factors at play that define success in these sorts of situations, and not reduce development to "why don't developers simply make GOOD video games!" which I think is fairly baseless and confirmation-bias-y in its own way.
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bamdelune · 5 months
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tears of the condemned .𖥔 ݁ ˖ neuvillette x reader
summary ➜ The Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale rarely ever made errors in its judgement, suitable persecution befalling those on the other side of the law. The Iudex of Fontaine was well-aware and familiar with that fact but the Oratrice's final verdict cause his judgement to go sideways, because it involved you.
warnings/tags/notes ➜ the summary is a warning in itself, angst [i never payed much attention to neuvillette but seeing a few fics about him got me to write this heheuehe + info and events might be canon-divergent because i haven't unlocked fontaine yet but hey, i tried my best 🤓☝️]
Neuvillette truly did not understand why so many people sought out Fontanian hearings, as if watching the accused and the persecution go back and forth was an amusing routine incorporated in their daily lives. To the citizens, it seemed like hearings were an elaborate play that they could watch for entertainment instead of a catalyst to serve righteousness. The Chief Justice certainly did not have a taste for it, especially when the audience was filled with hushed chatter about the case today: your case; surprise, you do not play the part of the persecution but you are the accused.
Murder, both you and Neuvillette found it impossible to believe you could committ such an act but as the Iudex, he must learn not to let this cloud his judgement; Neuvillette must not his doubts pass the verdict instead of rationality.
"The evidence presented by the plaintiff shows us that there is no concrete reason to convict the defendant," His eyes catch your form relax, even by just a bit from his statement. "However, as practice, the final verdict will be determined by the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale." Silence fills the Opera Epiclese as the mechanism moves between the scales.
Neuvillette's skin goes cold when the Oratrice has decided your fate.
Guilty.
Gasps erupt inside the opera and your expression is filled with dumbfoundedness. This was not the first time this happened but he's learned to trust the Oratrice's judgement over his own.
But can he truly put aside his bias if it meant getting you out of this predicament? Can he truly cross the law, the one aspect that founded everything that he has done so far.
Your voice rips out from the silence, riddled with desperation as you plead out to him.
"That's—that's not true at all! Monsieur Neuvillette, there must be some kind of mistake!"
Neuvillette clenches his fists, head straining from the thoughts that ran through his mind. He knew there was a mistake, he knew that the Oratrice can go against his own verdict but he's conflicted. Should he let you off scot-free or send you to the depths of Fortress of Merop—
"The judgement of the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale is the final verdict of the court. We have no choice but to follow through with it. Please take the suspect into custody," his mouth opens before he could even think about anything else. Neuvillette swallows thickly, seeing the defeated look on your face—as if the stale silence of the courthouse gave way to the sounds of your heart shattering into tiny pieces; the heart that he had promised to take care of so sincerely every day and the heart he swore to never toss away.
The Fortress is a place meant for solitude, for the convicted to reflect on their actions but all you could think of was how dark and scary it was in your cell. It was clean for the most part, that you were thankful for but other than that, all sense of time seemed to blur. It was lonely, but being falsely arrested like this by your beloved helped you feel lonelier. You felt empty, almost numb like a hollow glass that threatened to break with a push that was enough to break and Neuvillette crossing your trust like that was the trigger.
Footsteps resound through the corridor outside your place, your head lifts to see him.
"Why are you here?" Neuvillette seems to almost wince at how your voice sounded so... colorless, deprived of the life he's grown to love. You never intended it to come out that way but being in here rarely gave you the privilege of human interactions, "Are you going to set me free, monsieur?"
The Chief Justice opens and closes his mouth, clearly conflicted on what he was going to say next, because what could you say to your (assumingly former) lover whom you just convicted of a murder in front of the public?
"No," he replies, like he's still in court. You dryly chuckle at his response. "Have you come to reprimand me then? That must be it right? The lover of the Iudex of Fontaine, condemned to a life behind bars at the hands of her own beloved, thst must sound terrible to you, yes? Does a number to your honorable image to the people," Your tone gradually turned more bitter at each word knowing the fact that he could've saved you, or at the very least kept you anywhere but here until the evidence and verdict lined up in agreement.
"I care less about my own image, mon chéri—"
Another gasp of a laugh falls from your lips, "Don't. Don't you dare call me that if you will spit such lies in the same breath."
"Would you rather me threaten the sanctity of my title as Iudex?" Neuvillete responds right after, his tone stern and almost to a level of a scream. You would've flinched if you weren't so agitated.
"I wish you would," you mutter under your breath. You were so desperate for authentic justice to be served. Knowing the citizens of Fontaine, this incident would leave a stain on your image. No matter where you'll go, you aren't free from the scrutinizing eyes of the people. Your life will never be the same.
Neuvillette scoffs, "Do you hear yourself? Do you know what you are asking of me?" He was angry now. See, when he gets irritated, Neuvillette is never the type to aggressively express such a feeling but rather, he emits a silent aura that just unsettles you to an extent. But you have to stand your ground.
"Such a selfish request for your circumstances."
Now it's your turn to huff an exhale, hurt gnawing at your chest at every word he spoke.
"Selfish? I'm selfish for asking for justice for a horrendous act of violence both you and I know I never committed?"
Your voice almost gave out under the weight of the sting of your chest, nearly cracking as you raise your voice at him, "You know the Oratrice can make mistakes, Neuvillette—"
"The Oratrice's judgement is absolute, it does not make errors," the man interjects. A beat of silence stays.
"You never believed my words, even for a moment, didn't you?"
Neuvillette swallows, eyes somehow on your face but never on your eyes. He's hyper-aware of the fact that he's hurt you more than enough times he promised not to, never. He always promised that he wouldn't be the one to shatter your heart into tiny pieces and crush them under the soles of his feet. He was the one that vowed to stay by your side amidst the intimidating whispers that talk, talk, and talk about how you would murder an innocent citizen in cold blood. And now he knew.
He had gone back on his word.
It doesn't take him a reply before you started again. "You lied to me," you muttered.
"You're correct, I never believed you for one second," Neuvillette responds, voice low. His mouth opens before he could even think about it.
No. He always would. Over anyone and anything else.
He cringes slightly at this. The Iudex of Fontaine behind closed doors was a complex man. He is built of layers upon layers of emotional concealing, it was never a good thing for him to blatantly open up to someone—but of course, that changed because of you.
"You're foolish to think you could've slipped past the Oratrice's verdict,"
You didn't. He knew that, you did nothing wrong.
"The time has come for you to pay your dues." Neuvillette fronts.
Let me get you out of here. Neuvillette pleads
You fall silent by the tail of his words, barely getting enough courage to look him in the eye. Too much, it was all too much.
"Just—just leave, I don't want to see you," you mumble, defeated. Your eyes catch the way salty tears softly drip onto your clenched fists, wiping your face with the back of your hand. If you were alone in a lonely cell, so be it.
You hear his footsteps hesitate for a moment before they clack away, getting softer and farther with each step.
Heavy rain littered the streets of Fontaine that day.
Hydro dragon, hydro dragon, wipe the tears from your face. Hydro dragon, hydro dragon, don't cry.
© bamdelune 2023. do not repost, translate, plagiarize any of my works without permission, thank you so much! reblogs, notes, and comments are always appreciated!
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lakesbian · 1 month
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i have had like 10 friends rec worm to me but nobody’s given me a good like, gist of its vibe and what its abt because ‘its best blind’, could u please give a like brief summary and vibe check of it 😭 it’s so long i dont wanna try and invest that much time without knowing much abt it
so, worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial written in 2010. 1.7 million words seems like a lot, but it was also written over a relatively short period of time, which means the writing style is very easy to parse--the ideas aren't without complexity, but the language itself isn't intimidatingly dense. you can get through it at a very decent pace. i agree with your friends that there are vast portions of worm that hit best when you're unspoiled, but the thing is that worm is long enough that giving you the basic plot pitch is in no way spoilers for any of the things that i wouldn't want to see spoiled for someone. i'm actually kind of baffled they're not telling you Any Thing, because it is in my estimation one of the best books i've ever read, but it also Needs a briefing before you get into it for like five different reasons. which i will now provide. i swear to god this is brief by my standards it's just that i am very thorough
worm is a story about superheroes and supervillains, set in a world where superpowers are traumagenic--rather than appearing randomly or innately, some people gain powers after a traumatizing event happens to them. the protagonist is taylor hebert, a 15yo girl who has the power to control insects and desperately wants to be a superhero. and then accidentally finds herself scouted by a team of teenage villains instead. who's to say how she's going to react to all that!
one of the most compelling things about worm is that the superpowers in it serve as visceral, hyper-literal metaphors for the trauma and traumatized coping mechanisms of the characters with those powers. each power is incredibly specific and thematically relevant to the person who has it, and it's incredibly interesting and evocative. it feels so natural and well-done that it comes off like how superpowers are just meant to be written.
the fact that superpowers stem from trauma also means that worm is fundamentally a narrative about trauma. specifically, about traumatized teenagers and the relationships they form as they cling together while struggling through growing up traumatized & mutually coping with an increasingly intriguing, intense, and far-reaching escalating plot. worm's depictions of trauma + mental illness--including unpalatable trauma responses, including traumatized characters who are allowed to be complicated and nuanced and messy while still receiving narrative respect--are deeply real-feeling and impactful, and they're placed in the context of a well-spun + engaging story.
i really do have to stress how excellent the character writing is. worm is fully deserving of being as long as it is. over the course of 1.7 million words of character development, the average reader's reaction to the main characters goes from "sorta interesting" to "okay, i want to see where this goes" to "augh...really likable" to "i am now on hands and knees crying and these characters are going to stick around in my brain forever." wildbow has incredible talent for efficiently conveying complicated, real-feeling, and viscerally evocative characterization. many of the interlude chapters (chapters written from the perspective of different characters other than taylor) are so interesting, fleshed-out, and emotionally affecting that they make you wish you could read an entire novel about just the side character being featured. with that level of characterization for just the side cast, it's not surprising that taylor (& co) are genuinely just downright iconic. and i do not say that lightly--taylor is truly one of the best-written protagonists i've seen in anything. ever.
the other main pitch-point for worm is that it's a fascinating deconstruction/reconstruction/examination of the conceits of the superhero genre. it answers the question of--what would the world have to be like, for people with superpowers to act the way they do in classic cape media? and it does this well enough that it's interesting even if you have only a passing familiarity with cape media. i am not a big superhero media fan, but worm addresses virtually every aspect of cape media that was under the sun around 2010 in a way that's so interesting i still find it incredibly engaging. the approach it takes makes the narrative very accessible even to people who aren't usually cape media fans.
and speaking of the narrative: the end of the story is coherent and satisfying and deeply thematically resonant*. the way worm follows through on all of its main mysteries & plot threads is excellent. you don't have to worry about getting thru 1.7 million words and being dissatisfied by the author shitting the bed at the end, or anything like that. he does an amazing job of weaving together plot events in a way that makes each successive one feel rationally, thematically, and emotionally connected to what came before. there's really only one part where i feel the story stumbles a bit, but i think it was the best option he had for the narrative, and it's by no means a dealbreaker. it's in fact really impressive how cohesive and satisfying worm is for such a long webserial released over such a brief period of time.
*this is subjective ive seen some people who didnt love it but ive never seen anyone who downright Hated it who didnt also demonstrate egregious misunderstanding of literally everything worm is about. so thats a good sign
as for the downsides of worm/things that might put you off:
there is a very long list of trigger warnings for it. if you have any trigger warnings you want you should ask your friends to let you know about the relevant parts, because the fact that it's About Trauma (& about typical cape media circumstances presented very seriously) means that traumatic and violent things & their realistic aftermath are constantly happening and/or being discussed. i would not classify worm as needlessly dark or spiteful to the audience by any means, but it is intense and covers a lot of heavy topics. i do assume if your friends are all recommending it to you, they think none of the material would be too much for you, though!
worm was written in 2010 by a white cishet guy from canada. it's typical levels of 2010-era bigoted, it has a deeply lesbophobic stereotype character, it has some atrociously racist stereotype characters, the author really hates addicts, It's Got Blind Spots. i think worm is generally fully worth reading despite these, but very fair warning that it can get bad. i think what exacerbates this is that worm is generally extremely nuanced & sympathetic regarding ideas such as "crime is a result of systematic circumstance vs people just being inherently evil" and "mentally ill people who are traumatized in unpalatable ways are still deserving of fundamental respect as human beings" and so on and so forth, so it's extra noticeable and insufferable when you get to a topic the author has unexamined biases on and all that nuance drops out. the worst part is that a lot of this is most concentrated in the early arcs, so you have to get through them without being super attached to any of the characters yet. it is worth it though.
worm like. Does have a central straight relationship in it. and it's a very well written straight relationship for the most part and i like it quite a lot. but worm also passes the bechdel test with such flying colors that it enters 'unintentionally homoerotic' territory. which means a lot of people were shipping the main character ms taylor hebert with her female friends while the story was being released. which caused the author to get so mad he 1. posted a word of god to a forum loudly insisting that all of the girls are straight and 2. inserted a few deeply awkward and obvious and out of character scenes where he finds an excuse for the girls to more or less turn to the camera and go "i'm not gay, btw. this is platonic." This is fucking insufferable, and will piss you off immensely, but then you will get to any of the number of deeply emotionally affecting scenes between them, and at that point you will be too busy sniffling piteously and perhaps crytyping an analysis post on tumblr to be mad about all that other shit. also they're only a couple tiny portions out of an entire overall fantastic novel
overall: if those points don't sound like dealbreakers (i hope they aren't they're really massively outstripped by the amount of devastatingly good moments in worm, worm still has a thriving fandom over a decade later for a reason), you should absolutely give it a shot and see what you think. my final note is that you have to read up until the end of arc 8 to really see where what makes worm Worm kicks in, so aim for at least there to see how you feel about it if you're just thinking about dipping your toes in vs fully committing. i hope that was helpful and not too long :)
oh and don't go in the comments section on wordpress if you don't want spoilers. or anywhere else in the fandom at all. you will be spoiled. quite possibly for things you could not even have imagined were topics to be spoiled on.
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motswolo · 6 months
Text
cadence update
tw: ocd & mental health
hello, i’m popping in bc i seem to have gotten a sudden surge of new ppl/asks looking for updates re: cadence part 2. That’s fine - i love new friends! i also love that cadence is riding its renaissance era and for the most part ppl have been lovely and kind. i count myself lucky rn, especially when i see how many fellow marauders fans are still getting shit on for things we all know have very little consequence outside the walls of ao3 and twitter.
regarding me/cadence: i do not have any plans to write or relase Part 2 any time soon. i simply cannot do it - right now.
without getting too specific, i had a horrible ocd flare up a few weeks ago that left me absolutely crippled outside of the classroom. like, could hardly leave my bed on days off sort of crippled. i’ve never talked about my ocd here mostly bc the way my ocd manifests makes me into a person i really don’t like. i’m an adult and i have coping mechanisms and one of them used to include interacting with fandom/writing (that’s what helped me get through covid) but life is different now and i’m still figuring out how to navigate this new phase.
so no, i’m not writing cadence rn. i’m not hiding anything to keep you guys on the edge of your seats. i still want to write it, it’s one of the great loves of my life, but it’s not going to happen right this moment bc the world is not about to head into another lockdown.
i know you guys will understand, and some of you may think it’s not that serious, but at the risk of sounding ridiculous, “when are you gonna write part 2” has basically become an intrusive thought and until i can get that under control and find the energy to be a person again it just won’t be happening.
thanks for all the love you guys continue to show me and the fic, it means the world 💗
- mot
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