#this is all my gremlin brain could produce

[sunshinesdaydream]

Focal Point

Pairing: Hunter x GN!reader Rating: SFW Summary: You and Hunter each help the other through the fall out from sensory overwhelm. 🚨🚨🚨🚨NOTE: This is based on my own experience with Sensory Processing Disorder. Particularly the "Powering through" a day of overwhelm to crash later at home. Also guest staring negative self talk gremlins. ⚠️Warnings: Negative self talk, sensory overload fall out. Word Count :811 Dividers By: @ve-ti-ver Fluff & Reblog Banners/Dividers by:@sunshinesdaydream (me)

Thud, thud, thud, the regular rhythm and pressure of hitting the wall of the closet with your back and shoulders is somewhat soothing.  Sitting under the hanging clothes, knees pulled to your chest.  Wearing Hunter’s sweatshirt with the hood pulled up in the dark closed closet.  

The chiming of the front door sounding made you jump almost violently.  Tears made their appearance, streaking down your face. The thought of his comfort is suddenly embarrassing.  Thud, thud, thud, you immediately went back to your rocking. 

He waited until he was at the door to the bedroom before he called quietly, in his low tone, “Cyare,” you know it’s just to not startle you more. You know he knew the second he walked through the front door.  The tears flowed faster, punctuated by a soft sob. No light entered the closet when he slowly stepped in. He had turned off the bedroom light. 

He knelt on the floor next to you.  “Cyare, what do you need?” He asked gently. 

You begin to cry harder, your mind racing.  You with normal senses but the broken way your brain dealt with them. Broken, overwhelming. At least he had immensely enhanced senses to account for his overwhelm.  You couldn’t conceive of what it would be like to have those kinds of senses, other than a hellscape.  

“Do you need me to go?” He kept his tone level, trying not to inflect his desire one way or another. 

Your heart clenched. While your cursed mind wondered why he dealt with you because of this, you reached out for his hand. Solid and warm, a stable point in what felt like a constantly vibrating world. 

Hunter eased closer, his voice low and in your ear, “Mesh’la, I’m here,” calm, sure. “Come back to me, ner riddur, push all of the ugly voices away,” 

As soon as you leaned towards his voice his other hand came up to be a firm but gentle presence on your cheek. You shivered from its grounding presence.  

Slowly shifting he cradled your face in both hands with a firm, reassuring pressure. Then pressed his forehead to yours. 

“Cyare, just like you helped me the other day. Don’t let your mind make you doubt. I’m here for you,” he said quietly.  “I will help you with this battle as you do with mine,” 

Your breath became steadier, your heart rate slowed, the tears stopped flowing. You focused on him. You cling to the memory of helping him to ward off the negative thoughts. 

“Mmmkay,” you finally mumble. And he presses a firm kiss to your forehead. Another shaky inhale that feels like fresh air in your lungs. 

“Are you with me now?” He asks after several long and even breaths. 

“Yes,”. You answer. He kisses your forehead again and then moves to sit next to you and you lean against him with his arm wrapped tight around you. 

After many long minutes like that you feel more together, less like you are going to shake apart. You move enough to kiss his cheek. 

“Thank you,” you say. 

“Anything for you, cyare.  Feeling better?” He asks, you can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Mostly,” you snuggle into his side.  It would be a long night yet, but with his support it would be somewhat easier.  

The week before-

You walk in the front door with a basket of produce and notice immediately all power to the house was out. Setting the basket down you walk as quietly as possible to the bedroom. 

“Hunter,” you whisper at the door to the room before making your way to the closet. Tech and Wrecker had soundproofed the closet to the best of their abilities, it really could only do so much for Hunter.  

You ease into the closet and find him sitting, curled in on himself. You settle on the floor next to him.  After a moment you extend your hand palm up next to him and say softly, “I’m here, if you need me love,”

Quicker than you could process he had pulled you towards himself. You found yourself straddling his lap, hugged close to his body, and his face buried in your neck. 

“Don’t leave,” his voice is muffled against you. “I need you”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you answer, wrapping both arms around him and squeezing in as tight of a hug you can manage. “Don’t listen to that stuff you are telling yourself.  I am here because I want to be. I love you. I need you too,” You shift to stroking his hair with gentle but firm movements, knowing how light touches could make the overwhelm worse.  

Eventually the two of you would make your way out to the rest of the house and have a quiet night. But for now you are content to be held by him and comfort him.  

❤️Love&Wrecker Hugs❤️

#sunshine writes #star wars #the clone wars #the bad batch #clone wars #bad batch fan fic #sergeant hunter #clone trooper hunter #hunter the bad batch #tbb hunter #tbb #bad batch

[pinkalmondcake]

Almond you’ve given me GOT + LU brain rot and now I feel COMPELLED TO DISCUSS WHAT I THINK THEIR HOUSES WOULD BE

Time + Twilight: House Stark

I know they’re all about that loyalty - but specially these two. Time gives me heavy Ned Stark Vibes (the tree, the duty to kingdom and family pull) while Twilights hitting me hard with the Rob Stark vibes BUT I could also see him as a Jon Snow type too. The vibes are there.

Warriors: House Tyrell

He belongs there, I can’t be convinced otherwise unless someone had a strong argument. He’s going to wear the pretty armor and put that fancy footwork to work, ya know? Giving Loras vibes in my mind (rip baby boy you are missed).

Sky: House Arryn

Now this one I could be persuaded on. Really I’m not a fan of anyone in this house, BUT there is a port hole for him to kick people down from the sky to their doom and I just think that sky would have a fun time jumping through that with his sailcloth.

Wind: House Greyjoy

Sailors, need I say more? I can’t see him being as ruthless of Euron, BUT I CAN SEE HIM SAILING JUST AS MUCH!

Wild: House Targaryen

Dragons, need I say more? Because I will! He’s giving me Daemon, maybe Rhaegar vibes. Haven’t quite decided on that one, but regardless, Targaryen lol.

Four: House Baratheon

My mind immediately went Baratheon because of Gendry being a blacksmiths apprentice, but the vibes of Baratheon just feel like they would fit him. Maybe it’s the dark gloominess of stone that surrounds Stannis, but I think it would be a good fit.

Legend: House Lannister

I chose Lannister because I can just feel it in my bones that he could dance his way around people with his words and his sword. He’s the mix of Jamie and Tyrion in that regard.

Hyrule: House Martell

With the way this house uses poisons - I can see Hyrule doing the same (but maybe with potions/spells?)

Anyway, that’s where my brain rot took me lol. Would love to hear more about your thoughts on where they should be placed and the au idea because it’s latched onto me 🤣

THIS IS EXACTLY THE IDEA I WAS GOING FOR!!! IT'S ACCURATE!!

Time and Twilight?? House Stark definitely, Time is definitely like Ned and I see Twilight more as Jon Snow than Robb, seeing Jon Snow had a forbidden romance too! 👀👀

Please. Wars is going to rock that pretty armour so much and 'Growing Strong'? Definitely sounds like Wars and the fact that it's believed to be France in a way, the city of love?? Makes perfect sense too😫😫 AND YES, LORAS FR.

Nothing more needs to be said about House Arryn, it's just...perfect sense for Sky??? Despite the sigil it's just...explains it all?? Like, he can even dive down there and Crimson would catch him if he was in GoT??? 😤😤

YES YES GREYJOY and no, we don't like Euron. No, WIND IS BETTER THAN ALL OF EM, please. He's going to be the top sailer out of all of them and a rebellious son too who just wants to live on the sea and explore! Like he'd also low-key be like Yara?

I THOUGHT THE SAME THING FOR WILD/SAGE. TARGARYEN. LIKE- it just makes sense?? Wild is crazy, fire?? Yes. Explosions? Yes. His dragon would be unique like Caraxes too! While Sage...would be like Aemond in my opinion but with a mixture of Daemon?? Idk why I see Sage a mixture of Baratheon in him too though 😓😓

FOUR AND GENDRY PLEASE YES YES AKSIAJW Four definitely gives Baratheon vibes but he moved to produce steel for the Night's Watch maybe??? But I agree!! The gloominess and the dark aesthetic for four and the blacksmith fire, so Four. 👀😤✨

I would've never thought Legend would be a Lannister, yet the way you described him suits him to the BONE LIKE I SEE IT TOO. JAMIE X TYRION = LEGEND. NO MORE WORDS NEEDED. AND ALL THOSE JEWELS AND GOLDEN ARMOUR. He's definitely going to be wearing rings👀👀

HYRULE BBY!! No one would think that Hyrule would be skilled in poisons because that man is so sweet but secretly?? He's a gremlin and his potions are powerful asf, he's like the most powerful secret in the Martell House. It literally makes sense KWNZZJWJ 😫😫💞

Like @lost4pandora mentioned that Hyrule and Legend may be from Essos and came to Westeros, Legend going to King's Landing and I thought to think that he'd have magical rings and use them in secret because he's doing a whole undercover scheme while Hyrule can do magic and isn't as powerful as a Red Priestess though but his magic is a secret!

There's literally a whole new world to discover with the Lu boys and got and to expand their skills as well! 😫😫

This was so fun to answer because I had the exact same vision but you describe it in more detail and it's perfect. I'm in love.

#got x lu #GAME OF THRONES AND LINKED UNIVERSE AS ONE #almondanswers #Lu boys in got houses #im addicted-

[froggyfriendart]

If you want could you possibly. Tell me about your ocs

:O Hey hey I just saw this!! Thank you for taking an interest in them :)

So, my Sky:Children of The Light OCs

These three are Mercymorn, Arcadias, and Ariadne. They're all three of them rogue actors in whatever world they find themselves in, you can't usually figure out what the hell they're doing or why they're actually there. Do not separate them.

Mercy is a fighter, and one filled with pride at that - they can and they will pick fights to prove a point and they get very petty when they don't win. They're 75% sick moves and 25% gremlin bastard. They'd be the type you see standing in the center of a coliseum or acting all heroic with their cape fluttering in the wind, but they're rather silly actually.

Arcadias is a musician, and a traveler. They play the lute. They're extremely curious at heart and though none of them can actually talk, they love asking questions through mimickry and wide gestures. Behaves like a bird. Actually really sweet, prone to playing pranks, sometimes acts rather childish. The cape they have shapeshifts into wings whenever, they think it looks cool. So do I.

Ariadne is a circus performer. They're the one taking the stage, they're the one spinning the stories and making shadow-puppets against the walls. They will strangle you if you talk slander about their performance. They're also really into fortune telling, but will lie (well, lie through gestures and implication) for shits and giggles.

Now, this is Eurwen, she's really cool, she's not with those three but she knows them and tolerates them. This artwork is actually a bit older than most of them but it's one of my favorites. Deadpan, ruthless, I literally made her so I could be gay over her muscles and overly serious butch charm. She's everything to me. Other than Arcadias she's the only character I've ever drawn more than once, because I was working on her character sheet which is as of yet incomplete (like. a lot of my art)

now THIS GUY. he's my specialest little guy, this guy. His name is Lucien Lyfrassir VI. He's in my brain at all times. Fucking shit up and spray painting the walls neon. He wears a cool jacket absolutely covered in neon graffiti-like designs, he wears a cool LED mask/helmet that hides his face, not pictured here. Does Testosterone injections (like. 60% of my characters are transgender. I do make the rules.), his supply is literally a replicator machine that's been replicating the same stuff from centuries ago because it's a pain to hope every new civilization produces it. He jumped into a black hole for fun. Explosions! Mad cackling! Cinematically standing on lamp posts, leaning against walls with dark and dramatic lighting. Fights with gauntlets he built himself. He is also immortal. Absolute vibing. He's just My Guy. AND he's hot. Him and Eurwen are, anachronistically, best friends. God. I fucking love him. His partner is unfortunately not pictured because I haven't drawn him yet. God i care about him.

This is Dreamer. Their flute is named Lullabye (sic), they were first designed to be a bard in DnD and then they sort of morphed into a different kind of character. They're the man in the moon.

There's a lot more but I haven't got any art for them yet and anyway, you're welcome to ask me about them at any time :) I really appreciate you taking the time to let me talk about these guys. I love talking about these guys. I can do it forever.

#my OCs #asks #Eurwen - oc #Ariadne - oc #Arcadias - oc #Mercymorn - oc #mercy is actually named after a character in the locked tomb lmao #Dreamer - oc #lucien - oc #sky: children of the light #literally I love getting asks like this bro you can stand next to me for a minute and you'll figure out every thing I've ever thought #about these characters. they live in my head absolutely fucking rent free. in fact I'm paying them rent so I can hang out with them #In my brain. #absolutely insane about them all. #oc lore

[melsdreamweaving]

Oh, the glorious quest to get published! It's like deciding you want to climb Everest but realizing halfway you're just in your backyard with a really tall ladder. Since the tender age of "I can write my name," I was convinced this path was my calling. Networking? I thought it meant making friends with spiders. Persistence? My middle name (not really, but it sounds cool). Consistency? Well, let's just say my breakfast choice is as consistent as my writing schedule.

Writing? A breeze. Editing? A slightly gustier breeze, but manageable because, let's face it, perfection is a journey, not a destination. It's like telling a caterpillar to hurry up and be a butterfly already. And don't get me started on the arts and crafts analogy. Ever stared at a painting and thought, "This needs more cowbell"? That's me, questioning my artistic choices.

Ah, the dreaded imposter syndrome, the invisible gremlin whispering sweet nothings like, "You sure you're good enough?" during my most creative moments. It's like having a backseat driver in your brain during a solo road trip.

College, ah, the land of opportunity and all-you-can-eat dining halls. I decided to transform my so-called 'negative trait' into a glittering career by joining the university publishing house. Emailed the prof, and bam! Editor-in-chief. My friend compared it to vaulting from bank customer to president in a heartbeat. Imagine my pride, trying to be the humble shepherd amongst my flock of fellow club members.

But, oh, the drama. I had not anticipated the Shakespearean levels of tragedy and comedy, inspired by toxic reality TV and "Mean Girls" reruns. My generation turned the publishing club into a gladiator arena, but with more backstabbing and less physical exertion. It was less about nurturing literary talent and more about who could orchestrate the most dramatic exit. Ah, to be young and convinced everyone's out to get you, instead of just out to get your manuscript published.

The first fortnight with the publishing club was like a literary honeymoon. We were all hearts and flowers, discussing potential masterpieces and brainstorming themes that would make Shakespeare wish he had a pen pal like us. But then, as if Monday of the third week was cursed by a bored reality TV producer, she made her entrance. Let's call her Scarlet, not just for her artificially crimson hair but for the drama she was about to unleash.

Scarlet was miffed, to put it mildly. She seemed to think the editor-in-chief throne was hers by divine right, a sentiment somewhat dampened by her late arrival on the scene due to an apparently crucial vacationing spree. When we first met, and our hands awkwardly collided in what history might record as the least enthusiastic handshake, I naively thought, "Hey, maybe she's got a point." So, in a moment of misguided generosity, I offered her the crown. Big mistake.

Unbeknownst to me, Scarlet was not alone. She had a posse, a veritable velociraptor squad, if you will. It was baffling. Why crave the editor's chair so badly if you're already rolling deep with connections and subtly hinting at the professor's impending doom? And then there was her mentor, a Miami-based author with an ego so inflated he probably thought Hemingway was his pen name. Scarlet was rumored to be the poster child for nepotism, a Nepo Baby™ in the flesh, and I was about to learn what happens when a clueless "commoner" like me accidentally steps on the toes of the nepotistically privileged.

It was like being in a wildlife documentary, except the predators were armed with laptops and the ability to make you feel utterly incompetent with a mere glance. I had unwittingly entered the arena, and the games were about to begin. Welcome to the jungle, folks, where the beasts type fast and the alliances are as stable as a house of cards in a wind tunnel.

This brought about the delightful saga of dealing with a photography enthusiast whose strategy for winning affection was about as effective as using a sledgehammer for brain surgery. This charming individual seemed to believe that bombarding me with hate mail was the secret pathway to romance. It was a strategy so misguided, it made me wonder if his camera was also stuck in negative mode.

There I was, gnawing my nails down to microscopic stubs, embodying the very picture of stress-induced dysfunctionality. Picture this: juggling caretaking duties, moonlighting in a job that had me questioning my nocturnal preferences, only to waltz into academia's version of a gladiatorial arena.

The grand finale of my editorial misadventure was being relieved of my duties, courtesy of Scarlet's relentless theatrics, which apparently were too avant-garde for even our esteemed professor. "At least you didn't give up, and hey, one of your pieces got in," was the consolation offered, a band-aid on a bullet wound—until, in a plot twist worthy of a daytime soap opera, my piece was axed from the publication faster than you can say "editorial discretion."

Fast forward through a few years later to a night of poetic justice at an open mic event at my university. Lo and behold, Scarlet was there, perhaps scouting for her next victim or simply lost on her way to a more melodramatic venue. In the ladies' room, she offered a compliment on my poem, a gesture so dripping with nepotistic magnanimity, it could have watered a small garden. I acknowledged her with a nod that was as heavy with irony as it was light with forgiveness and exited stage left, grateful for the diverging paths that spared me further encounters with the queen of mean.

As Scarlet ventured into the wilderness of the music industry, presumably to charm or terrorize new audiences, I pondered the possibility of her discovering kindness. As for me, I gleaned a priceless lesson from the school of hard knocks: when faced with bullies, standing silent is not an option. Next time, I'll be ready to turn the microphone into a megaphone for justice, because sometimes, the pen (or the spoken word) truly is mightier than the sword—or the camera, in this case.

#poetry #poem #creative writing #writers and poets #dead poets society #fiction #original poem #poets on tumblr #poetsandwriters #drawing #spilled poetry #spilled words #spilled thoughts #because my damn brain never shuts up! there's no way my soulmate would just be getting one random thought appear on them 😭 #funny shit #funny #coming of age #drama #reality #college #lgbtq community

[incorrextfandomquotes]

jason: [looking around at criminals] some of you may die

jason: but that’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make

#too morbid? #it is currently 4:50am #this is all my gremlin brain could produce #enjoy it <3 #incorrect dc quotes #dc #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc #dc quotes #dc incorrect quotes #jason todd #red hood #jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #batboys #incorrect batboys quotes #incorrect batboys #incorrect jason todd #incorrect red hood #jason todd fluff #red hood fluff #incorrect jason todd quotes #incorrect red hood quotes #batfam #batfamily #jason todd angst #red hood angst

[ao3commentoftheday]

Hello, I hope you are doing well! Thank you for the time and energy you put into this blog!

My “ask” is personal and specific, so I don’t know if you will have much in the way of feedback, but if you don’t maybe folks who follow will 🤞🏾

Early last year (squints at calendar) I discovered I have Inattentive ADHD. Retrospectively this makes a lot of sense, but I’m also an in my mid 30s so it’s kind of a lot to process a whole new understanding of yourself.

As this relates to fic it makes sense. As a teen I would hyperfocus in writing mode all evening after school. As an adult with responsibilities exchanges have worked well for me as far as deadlines producing results… but they aren’t as good for the ol’ Plot Bunny farm. I got ideas that could be enrolled in high school, okay? I want to get them out!

I understand that common writing advice is to have a routine and write regularly etc. But scheduling, planning, organizing… these are skills I have such a nonexistent grasp on right now? I’m starting to learn skills for ADHD management, but meds aren’t an option yet. So I’m trying to be patient and compassionate with myself… but I would also really like to be writing? 😅

I’m not sure what I’m looking for now that I’ve typed this out. Advice? Affirmations? Commiseration? It certainly doesn’t help to be in a lonely ship/fandom. I guess I’m hoping I’m not alone in this experience too?

You're definitely not alone! I could have written this ask myself. I fully understand what you're going through and I suffer with the same issues.

Scheduling, planning, and organizing are things that I'm able to do in a work context because I've built up a lot structure in that space. In my free time, though? No way. I've used all of that part of my mental energy at work and I don't have any left to pour into my hobbies.

What I do have is chaotic creativity.

For me, rules around writing every day or finishing one story before I start the next just don't work. If I have an idea for a thing, I need to write that thing immediately. Betas? I can't use them. I'm too impatient to be done, so I forgive myself the typos and correct them when I notice them later.

Another thing that helps is remembering that not every story needs to be a multichap. You've got a small idea, but that plot bunny just won't go away? Write a oneshot. Put the context in the summary. Drop the handful of scenes you have in your head. Move onto the next story before you forget what you're even thinking about.

I'm such a chaos gremlin that I actually write all of my fics and chapters directly into the work posting form on AO3. I do this despite knowing that if a glitch happens or the site goes down while I'm writing or I accidentally navigate away from it that all of my writing is lost. I would much rather lose 3K but have it out of my head than wait the extra time it takes to write it out in google docs first and then copy/paste it over.

Let yourself be messy. Let yourself be disorganized or distracted or chaotic. Write five different WIPs at the same time and update whichever one is making your brain sing in that particular moment. Fic is your free time activity, so let yourself be free with it, and whatever ends up working as a way to get the words out just do that.

Don't force yourself to follow rules that aren't working for you. ❤

#asks and answers

[brrahbrrahcharacterimagines]

Groceries (Might Guy x Reader)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Might Guy x Reader

Word Count: 2723

Warnings: very minor angst, food mentions (TW for EDs)

A/N: Hope you enjoy! I've been so thirsty for Naruto characters recently it's not even funny

Also, this was originally two parts but I've combined them into one so let me know if the transition doesn't work!

Growing up in Konoha you always felt safe. You knew there were experienced shinobi there to protect you. As a little girl, you would see them walk down the streets and watch in awe as they passed by you.

Despite everything you had seen in terms of violence, you still felt safe in the Leaf Village. There had been some tense battles, but the leaf shinobi always prevailed.

It was a day more peaceful than most as you made your way down to the store. You only needed a few things, but with the nice weather you decided to take advantage of the day instead of waiting for the grocery list to get longer.

Smiling, you walked into the store to the tune of children laughing and birds chirping. It was like you were in a movie.

You made your way down the aisles, picking up the items you needed as you went. Milk, eggs, noodles, and more went into the small cart in your hands as you browsed. Lost in your own world, you didn't see the other cart as it came around the corner at the same time as your own.

The carts crashed into each other, you and the other person with them. It almost winded you, both from surprise and the force of falling into the cart.

"I am so sorry!" You explained, looking up to the man you found in front of you. Luckily, neither of your groceries seemed to have sustained much damage. You found yourself surprised to be met with the most gorgeous dark eyes you had ever seen.

"It's no problem!" Said the man, flashing you a confident smile with a thumbs up. "No damage done."

You felt a hot flush rise to your face, but thankfully the man didn't seem to notice.

"Thank you," you said in a fluster. You weren't sure what you were even thanking him for, not yelling at you? It was then that you took notice of his outfit, especially the band around his waist. "Are you a shinobi?"

The smile stayed ever-present on his face.

"Yes I am! A jonin of the Hidden Leaf Village!"

If you had just half the enthusiasm of this man, you think you would be running on empty in less than five minutes. Hearing he was a jonin, you were impressed.

"Well, thank you for all that you do," you offered, moving to continue your shopping.

Although your interaction was brief, you couldn't stop thinking about it as days passed. Something about his eyes, and his confidence, drew you into him. You tried to brush it off, seeing as it was such a simple interaction, but it was impossible. Even trying to tell yourself that he didn't remember you wouldn't work; there was still a part of your brain that would never quiet down.

You had never minded being a civilian in Konoha. Sure, when you were younger you had thought about being a konoichi, but those were just the thoughts of a child. You never pursued it. You were happy with your career, teaching young children in subjects other than jutsu.

Despite your happiness, you began to wish that you had gone to the academy. Then you would have been able to find the man who was plaguing your thoughts. Even after that, you might have been a real option for him. You knew shinobi tended to mostly be interested in other shinobi.

You didn't know why it upset you so much. You didn't even know the man's name, and yet you were sad that you might not be his type. Feeling a bit pathetic, you found yourself in need of another grocery run. Trying to ignore the thought that you might see him again, you made your way to the store.

Sadly, at least for that persistent, gremlin part of your brain, the trip was rather uneventful. At least, until you found yourself in front of the produce.

You were trying to eat healthier, but it was hard. It wasn't that you didn't like your body, you just wanted to feel better in your own skin. As you stood there pondering, a male voice scared you from your thoughts.

"Excuse me."

You turned, disappointed to see a man with silver spikes instead of the dark bowl cut you had hoped for. You mumbled a sorry, stepping out of his way.

"Careful Kakashi," boomed another voice, "I'd keep your distance from that woman's cart if I were you."

Now that is the voice you had been hoping for.

As you turned, the tall man immediately caught your eye. You blushed at his words, remembering your initial encounter. The other man, Kakashi, looked at you with confusion. He grabbed what he needed before walking away, leaving you and the other man alone.

"So what brings you back here?" He asked. Normally you would have thought of this as awkward conversation, but your heart leapt at the opportunity to talk to him again.

You sighed, "I'm trying to decide what I want. I wanted something healthy but I didn't want to just start grabbing vegetables."

"Then you're in luck," he grinned, "I'm somewhat of an expert. Try some blueberries, they're a superfood." He grabbed a package, placing them in his own cart. "They're on me today."

You tried to protest, but he wasn't having any of it. You made your way through checkout, paying the rest of your items before meeting back up with the man.

"Thank you," you told him, looking back up at his deep eyes. Pausing for a moment, you realized something. "I don't even know your name! How could I thank you for buying these before me without even learning your name?"

The man chuckled, extending his hand out to you.

"The name's Guy," he said loudly, shaking your hand. "Would it be crazy to ask for your name in return?"

You blushed as you grabbed his hand, his grip firm yet his hands soft.

"Y/n," you told him. He smiled.

"That's a beautiful name." His words did nothing to help calm the blush on your face. You were sure he knew exactly what he was doing to you based on the color of your cheeks alone. Suddenly Guy grew rather sheepish. "I know how this is going to sound, but would you want to come by my place sometime?"

Your eyes widened. After all this time wondering what this man was really like, he was just the type to invite you into bed with him immediately? Admittedly part of you was curious, but you weren't stupid.

"Excuse me?"

Now it was his turn to blush.

"Well I know how that sounds," Guy said quickly, trying to get his words out faster than he could think. "But I just meant to make you dinner. I could show you how to cook some vegetables so that they aren't all that bad."

Immediately you felt bad for assuming the worst, offering him a small smile.

"I would like that."

He smiled back at you. Guy gave you his address as the two of you decided on a time before parting ways. You couldn't help the giddy grin that covered your face as you walked home. Your date couldn't come fast enough.

---

In the days leading up to your date with Guy, it was all you could think about. You told yourself that was fine, since you were obsessing over him already. At least now you had a reason to.

The day was finally here, and as the hours ticked away you found yourself growing more nervous. Deciding what to wear was a challenge in itself. Did you want to try to dress up nicer, or would that be too much? Yet at the same time you worried dressing too casual would give him the idea that you weren't as interested as you were.

You tried on just about everything you owned, settling for a dress that made you feel pretty. It was fancy enough to make you feel like you were trying, but still casual enough that you would be comfortable.

You looked at the clock, seeing that you still had ample time before you needed to leave. Sitting down, your mind wandered. What would tonight be like?

in your mind you ran through a myriad of scenarios. If you didn't like the food he cooked, you would have to just stomach it and hope for the best. Based on what he told you at the store though, it seemed like he would know what he was doing. Still, you worried that something would go wrong.

Above all, there was a bigger question ringing out in your mind. Would he try to kiss you? And, would you want him to?

The seconds turned to minutes as you pondered, the minutes turning into hours until it was time to go. You collected your things, making sure to grab any and all essentials before you left. You had already told your friends who you would be with, going as far as to give them the address should anything go wrong. Guy seemed like such a nice guy, but you could never be too careful.

Locking the door to your apartment behind you, you set off. It was early in the evening, and the sun was just beginning to set in the sky. You were thankful you wouldn't have to walk in the dark. You knew there were plenty of shinobi around, hell, you were even meeting one right now. But even then you felt uncomfortable walking home alone at night, surrounded by darkness.

It was a shorter walk than you anticipated, and before you knew it you were at his place. Taking a deep breath, you reached up to knock on his door. It seemed like a nice enough part of town, and his place itself was well-kept especially considering how much time you were sure he spent on training.

You heard Guy's loud steps make their way to the doorway, pausing on the other side before the door swung open. His usual confident smile was on his face, but instead of moving his mouth into words he just looked at you. You felt yourself growing red under his gaze.

"Hello Guy," you said softly, looking up at him.

-

Guy had been making the same amount of preparations as you, if not even more. He planned the meal out carefully, even practicing it the night before to make sure it went well. He had spent more time than usual perfecting his hair, making sure not a single strand would be out of place. He had even thought of exactly what he wanted to say when he opened the door.

Hello Y/n, he would say as he smiled at you. You look more beautiful every time I see you.

Sure, it was more forward than he had been with you before. This was a date after all, and he wanted to make how he felt about you clear from the start.

That plan went right out the window when he saw you, your sundress captivating him. It looked so cute on you, and at the same time there was something about it that sent a wave of tingles between his legs. To put it simply, he was speechless.

He knew he should say something but he couldn't, enraptured by the way you looked in his doorway.

"Hello Guy," you said to him. That sweet voice of yours would drive him crazy someday, and he knew that. He loved hearing his name fall from your lips, hoping it would be far from the last time. Everything about you made him fall for you more.

Despite his thoughts about your voice, your words were enough to stir him to action himself.

"Hey," he said.

Really Guy? He thought to himself. You're the Blue Beast, a strong shinobi. And yet all you can say to a woman is 'hey'?

You giggled at him, and he felt a smile creep onto his face.

"It's good to see you again," he continued. He decided to dial back the forwardness, realizing he had already kept you waiting outside for too long in his daze. "Come on in."

-

You followed Guy into his home, taking in the delicious aroma filling the rooms.

"I don't know what you're making," you stated, "but it smells amazing."

Guy beamed with pride, ushering you over to the kitchen.

"It's my favorite." He told you. "A spicy, vegetable curry."

Thankfully, you didn't mind spicy. In fact, you enjoyed it. Your mouth watered, taking in the sight and smell of the food in front of you.

"Actually, it should be just about done." Said Guy, stirring it all for a final time before putting it onto beautiful dishes to serve.

He had already set the table, candles and all. He pulled the chair out for you, pushing you back in as if you weighed nothing. He sat across from you, and the way he smiled at you made you weak in the knees. It's a good thing you had already sat down.

You wasted no time, digging in. And it was delicious.

"Oh my god Guy," you said in near disbelief at how good it was. You could see his expression perk up. "This is amazing!"

"I'm glad you like it," he chuckles, eating his own.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch. You talked about your job and his, bonding over your love for your respective students.

"Maybe sometime I can come watch one of your training sessions," you mentioned. "I would love to see you teach them."

Guy smiled, "I would love that." The sincerity in his tone took you by surprise. While you knew he was never joking with you, there was always some sort of bravado to his speech that now was missing.

You helped him clean up despite his protests. You told him that if he cooked, you would at least clean up. It was only fair, after all. You scrubbed the dishes, oblivious to the way Guy was looking at you.

He never would have admitted it to anyone but himself, but he was falling in love with you. He had no problem picturing a life with you. Coming up to you at the end of the day, sharing a meal together. He wanted everything that life would bring him.

"Well," you said, finishing up, "I should probably get going."

"Let me walk you," insisted Guy. "A lady such as yourself should never walk alone at night."

He offered his arm to you, and you accepted it with a shy smile. You could feel his prominent muscles under the fabric of his outfit, and you could feel your face growing warmer. You were thankful for the darkness for obscuring your face from him, hoping he couldn't tell.

He could tell.

As the two of you made your way back towards your own apartment he would flex his muscles every so often, loving the way your face would flush. A couple of times he timed it right so that you were speaking, making you stutter.

The walk ended much earlier than either of you would have liked it to. Suddenly your heart started racing. You could answer your questions from earlier clearly.

Would he try to kiss you?

You sure hoped so.

Would you want him to?

Definitely.

You paused in your doorway, letting go of Guy's arm. You looked up at him, flashing him a genuine smile.

"I had fun tonight."

He reciprocated your own expression with a smile of his own, "me too."

You both paused for what seemed like the longest second in the world. It was as if he was building up the courage to actually go through with what he wanted to. He cleared his throat.

"Y/n, may I kiss you?"

You nodded your head and he lowered his lips to yours slowly. As you pressed your own lips to his you couldn't help the gasp that escaped them.

That's a sound I'll keep replaying... thought Guy.

He pulled away sooner than you would have liked, but he was a gentleman.

"I'll see you soon." Guy ended his sentence with a wink, sauntering off as you went to go inside.

"I can't wait."

#guy x reader #guy sensei x reader #might guy x reader #might gai x reader #gai x reader #maito guy x reader #maito gai x reader #naruto x reader #naruto #naruto shippuden

[incomingalbatross]

GF Fic: (Insert Time-Related Pun Here)

Having a birthday on the last day of summer was great when you were a kid.

When you were in college and vacation ended somewhere in the last third of August? Not so much.

“Grunkle Ford, I...I don’t think Mabel and I can make it to Gravity Falls,” Dipper confessed, the day before his twenty-second birthday.

“Is it the travel time?” Ford asked from the other end of the phone. “If your usual transportation is too slow, we can call in a favor or two for you kids—I know plenty of entities that would be happy to give you a lift as a birthday present—”

“No, I know, I know,” Dipper said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “And I really appreciate that, Grunkle Ford, I just...it’s not the travel, it’s being there. The other years we’ve been in college, our birthday was always on a weekend—last year was a Monday, but we spent that year with you guys instead of in school—”

“Thank goodness that seer tipped us off about her vision of 2020!” Ford agreed. “Taking a gap year to sail the Arctic with us was definitely the right decision for you two.”

“Right? Half a semester of online classes was more than enough. But—I mean, maybe it’s being back in school after being gone for a year, maybe it’s just early-semester problems, but...” Dipper sighed. “It’s just, I’m taking five classes, and I’ve got a TA job this year, and I’m getting back into the DD&MD group again and maybe planning to DM a oneshot as a Halloween event, and...” He sighed again. “It all looked much more manageable on my schedule. It was color-coded and everything!”

Grunkle Ford hummed noncommittally.

“Yeah, I know,” Dipper admitted. “Not the first time I’ve overbooked myself.”

“Not quite, perhaps. But it’s very good that you’re learning to recognize it and take steps to take care of yourself—when I was in college, I burned out routinely.”

“Mabel would sic the ‘Self-Care Fairy’ on me again if I didn’t learn.” The “Self-Care Fairy” was a truly terrifying onslaught of Mabelness, complete with costume and character voice, and would not go away until its subject had reached an acceptable level of well-being and had examined their mistakes. “Which is why...I have to cancel. If I came to Gravity Falls, even with instant travel, I’d only be able to get there around like 5:00 PM and I’d be stressed and anxious the whole time. And then I’d get back here exhausted and with no homework done and with class tomorrow, and...I just don’t think I can afford that.” Dipper paused, a knot twisting in his stomach. “I’m really sorry, I wish we could come...”

“Of course, Dipper, we know you do!” Grunkle Ford hastened to assure him. “Don’t feel sorry for us—of course we’d love to see you, but we just had the summer together. I’m just sorry you’re so short on time.” There was a moment’s silence.

“But how is Mabel doing? Is she facing the same challenges?”

“I mean, sort of.” Dipper smiled ruefully. “She kept trying to figure out some solution so that we could have our usual birthday and everything would work out, but...neither of us could come up with anything that would actually work. And she’s really busy too. She jumped back into school full steam ahead, and she’s got her Etsy store, and all her social groups to keep up with—you know she’s better at managing her energy than I am, but it’s still a lot.”

“I understand that,” Ford said. “You both do what you need to to keep up with your responsibilities, okay? We’re very proud of you both, you know.”

Dipper swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I know, Grunkle Ford.”

“Well, then, I’ll let you go—I imagine you have plenty to do right now! We’ll get in touch with you tomorrow, even if only by text.”

“Thank you, Grunkle Ford! Mabel and I are going to video-call at some point, we think, so there’s that. Say hi to Stan and Soos and Melody and the kids and everyone for me?”

“Of course, my boy. Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

The call disconnected, and Dipper sighed, throwing himself down on his bed. After a minute, he picked up his phone again and texted Mabel.

Just called Ford and canceled plans. He said to take care of ourselves and that he and Stan are proud of us.

Then he pushed himself into the homework for tomorrow until his phone buzzed.

Aww, of course he did. <3 Thanks for calling, brobro. I wish we could go, but you were right--I’ve got WAY too much booked. Why didn’t we check what weekday our birthday was FIRST???

Dipper snorted. Maybe we’re dumb :/

IMPOSSIBLE, Mabel sent back. Clearly an evil College Schedule Gremlin messed with our brains

Is that the same guy who makes it so you can never take the prereqs you need when you need them?

Yep!! And the one who fogs your brain so you THINK you’ve filled all your requirements until it’s too late to patch up the holes in your plan. His phone buzzed a second time after that text. ...Ugh, maybe there ARE gremlins in all the college systems

It would explain Blackboard, Dipper agreed with a frown. Huh, maybe they should look into that...

Anyway, though, u good for Zoom tomorrow?

Dipper huffed, reminded of the fact that they had no time for a paranormal investigation right now. Yeah, he typed, I can do an hour or so anytime after 5:30.

Cool, I will figure out a time and let you know!! Can’t wait to see your 22-year-old face!! :) Even if it sucks that we can’t party :(

Same, same. TTYL :)

Dipper tossed his phone aside again, shutting his eyes for a minute. It wasn’t just the party that had him down—though he would miss the bash that Gravity Falls usually threw on their birthday. It was...everything.

It was having a birthday without Mabel.

Oh, sure, they would talk, but they wouldn’t be in the same place. That was why, really, he’d hung onto their plans until the very last minute. He’d made it work on paper—taking an evening to travel to Gravity Falls, have a party, and be back in time for the next class—and it just felt wrong to admit defeat, to compromise on something this important. Their birthday meant the two of them celebrating together, having a good time, acknowledging that it was important.

This year wasn’t going to feel like a birthday at all, Dipper thought glumly.

But no, that was quitter talk. They were going to do their best anyway, because they were the Mystery Twins! Even if the situation was lame. Even if he was going to spend his time on the call with Mabel tomorrow doing homework and/or bursting with stress.

He opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. “Why do I always overfill my schedule?” he asked plaintively.

The ceiling didn’t answer.

---

Dipper dropped his backpack with a thud on his dorm room floor, hastily unzipping it and digging out his laptop. He was late—he’d left his thermos in his last classroom, and been halfway across campus before he realized and turned around to go get it. He blamed his sleep deprivation (a week in, and his body still hadn’t readjusted to the rhythm of morning classes).

Now, though, he could finally pull up Zoom. He plugged in his headphones as he waited for it to connect (stupid dorm wifi), and was rewarded with an ear-splitting squeal.

“Happy birthday, Dipper!”

He grinned at her beaming face. “Happy birthday, Mabel!”

“Did you get a birthday cupcake?” she demanded. “Or at least a birthday cookie?”

He grimaced. “I got ice cream at the cafeteria, but I had to eat it there,” he confessed. “Here, I’ve got...a birthday candy bar?”

“Hmph.” Mabel looked crestfallen, but plastered a smile on anyway. “It’ll have to do! We can sing Happy Birthday, anyway. One, two, thr—”

Before they could launch into an inevitably out-of-sync rendition of “Happy Birthday,” Dipper heard a loud knock. Judging by Mabel’s startled turn towards her door, she heard it too—

Wait, what?

The knocking repeated. On both their doors.

“..Huh,” Mabel said thoughtfully. With a wordless glance between them, they both unplugged their headphones and went to their respective doors.

“Happy birthday, slugger!” Stan said, grinning, the instant he saw Dipper. Over the internet, Ford’s voice was greeting Mabel at the same time.

Dipper’s jaw dropped.

“Ha!” Grunkle Stan shoved past him into the room. Waving to the camera, he added, “Happy birthday, sweetie!”

Ford peered past Mabel into the screen. “Happy birthday, Dipper, my boy!”

“But—what—”

“Grunkles!” Mabel cried. “...But wait, why not just video call us? Not that we’re not happy to see your wrinkly faces, but you came such a long way!”

“Yeah, exactly,” Dipper said, waving his arm in confusion. “You guys—you know we can’t really visit, right? Even with you with us? We don’t have time. I dont want you guys to waste a trip—”

“But we didn’t,” Ford said smugly. “We came to bring your birthday presents.”

With a flourish, Stan produced something and handed it to Dipper. It looked like...a piggy bank, but with a clock face set into the side?

Mabel gasped. “It’s so CUTE!”

“But what is it, Grunkle Ford?” Dipper asked.

“Simply put, my boy...it’s time.”

“It’s a Time-Savings Bank,” Stan said proudly. “Got our hands on these babies a few months ago, on a little side trip. See, when you’ve got some extra time—like, at night, or when you’re waiting for a pot to boil, or whatever—you can use these gizmos to store it up instead! Then when you need more time, you use the clock to take it back out. Whammo! You squeeze in a few extra hours between the normal ones.”

“Like Daylight Saving Time without the false advertising,” Ford added. “We know you two are short on time right now, but...if you’d like, there’s enough in here to give you and everyone currently at the Mystery Shack a good few hours of spare time. What do you say, kids? Still up for a party?”

“Are we!” Mabel crowed.

Dipper stared at this miraculous device. “But...that’s a lot of hours,” he said. “Where did you get the time?”

Stan barked out a laugh. “You kiddin’, Dipper? We figured from the start that at least one of you would burn out when you went back to school. We’ve been putting time aside in these things for months.”

“...Really?” Dipper said. Somehow, he found himself blinking rapidly, and swallowing down some obstruction in his throat.

Stan coughed uncomfortably, looking away. “I mean, it’s not like we gave you any time we had a use for. Just some odds and ends here and there...every day... Anyway! You kids wanna get this show on the road?”

“YES!” Mabel shouted.

Dipper beamed. “Definitely,” he said. “Absolutely.”

And a few minutes later, when they all found themselves in the Shack (courtesy of one of those “favors” Ford had mentioned yesterday), and Dipper had piled into the inevitable group hug with his twin and his grunkles—and with hours of birthday celebration in front of them all—he had to add, “Best present ever.”

#did i neglect my college homework to write this? yes. yes i did #anyway #happy birthday dipper and mabel! #belated in my timezone but NOT ON THE WEST COAST so it WORKS #gravity falls #mystery twins #dipper pines #mabel pines #pines family #my fic #i did not proofread this At All so...there may be glaring errors #i'll find out later

[thebibliosphere]

I love watching shows about home organization. They’re like heroin for my ADHD gremlin brain that can never find the forest for the trees but craves the idea that one day I’ll stumble upon the perfect system that streamlines my life and turns me into the person everyone kept telling me I could be if I just tried hard enough.

It’s false hope, usually, and so far the best system I’ve found is still Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky (Amazon). But I still daydream about being able to afford the clean, minimalist aesthetics on the organization shows that promise a simplified life and look like pops of colored candy against a white void of blessed calm my brain is incapable of producing. And I know why I like them, the shows are stimulating. They show productivity and progress and change, all the things I know make my brain zing and zip along, and might make others brains churn up like mud underfoot in a spring thaw. But I still watch them, hoping there’s some secret I’m missing, some simple easy thing I’m missing despite the years of therapy and knowing brains like mine don’t work like that. That closed doors mean object permanence is an illusion and suddenly you’ve got five potato peelers because you can never find them when you need it. Like schrodinger's spatula, you only remember it exists when it sticks in the drawer and you can’t get it open again. And sure, the solution is to leave everything out where you can see it, and that works, it works until once again you can’t see the forest for the trees because everything is everywhere and visual exhaustion is also its own sort of personal hell and the lure of white voids and clean lines devoid of life pulls you back in promising relief, even just for a moment.

And label makers. Label makers look cool. I should get one of those.

#adult adhd #I am Overstimulated at the moment #I am out my box with stimulation #it would be nice to switch things off #just for a bit #and I know the white clean aesthetic in these shows would drive me bonkers after a day #but god it just looks so relieving right now

[panicinart]

🔞 Nsfw alphabet 🔞

☎️ OG Billy Lenz ☎️

It's time for some Chaotic Rat Gremlin

Also side note I'm at the moment reader the novel and ngl I changed a few things since it didn't fit his character very well. I'm not that far with it but I hope I did a good job with interpreting his character :)

A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

☎️You know that feeling were you're really tired but got some extra suppressed energy, so you just kinda stand there in hell? That's him.

☎️Billy doesn't know if he should run around naked and do his usual rat gremlin stuff or fall asleep so hard like someone drugged him with something.

☎️Either way it's going to be a ride, because you're gonna need to catch a naked rat man running around before the sorority sisters come, or your whole bed is drenched in drool.

B = Body part (how is their body build? any favorite body part of them and their partner?)

☎️A fucking twunk, he probably was more of a twink before he met you because bitch only got small amounts of food and not that many opportunitys to build up muscles.

☎️Billy has a bit of a biceps, back muscle, and leg muscle but that's really it. He also doesn't have a lot of hair mostly a bit on his chest, crotch area and a small hair trail that bairly connects those points. If he goes all out he is also able to grow a bit arm and leg hair.

☎️Honestly I feel like this gremlin is proud of the little chest hair he has, so he really likes that area. He sometimes squeezes his man milkers and you cannot change my mind on that.

☎️Billy LOVES his s/o's thighs and chest! Big, small, doesn't matter their great (especially the thighs, their a gate way to something great).

☎️With the chest it is more of a thing that he thinks is funny, his grabby hands sometimes poke, squeeze and lightly slap them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

☎️Doesn't produce a lot of cum, but it is STICKY. The cum is very white, and kinda like chewing gum. It comes in spurts and god help him this man can shoot a load meters away, he shoot his load more then he can count into his eye, and also yours.

☎️He also produces A LOT of precum

☎️It doesn't have a lot of taste, maeby a bit on the sour / bitter side???

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, do they have a dirty secret?)

☎️Billy has some kinks (???) that aren't really good for him, for example he would beg to be humiliated but after the act he will be a sobbing mess, be angry or thinks all the things his partner told him are true. Basically self destructive tendencies that he let's out with sex in an unhealthy way.

E = Experience (do they know what they're doing?)

☎️Surprisingly he kinda knows what he does, were did he got that info?? Who knows, Billy certainly can't remember, (probably watched some people geting it on or stole a porn magazine).

F = Favorite position (which position(s) do the like the most?)

☎️All positions are great positions as one confused and wise attic gremlin sayd.

☎️But in all honesty it depends on his mood so here are his top 5 in no particular order:

Kepper

Stick figure

Grasshopper

Counterblow

Valedictorian

G = Goofy (are they more serious or do the like to clown around?)

☎️This man has a hard time staying serious, there are rare moments were he stays focused while being on the mission to go to pound town. Most of the time you hear him giggle, snorting and sometimes saying random one liners that he pulls out of his ass that don't make sense to you, but he still laughs like he heard the funniest shit in the world.

H = Hair (any hair down there? How do they groom it?)

☎️The hair is quite thin and a bit curly, it's a good amount of hair but not a forest, because Billy doesn't take care of it the hair it is all over the place and can look a bit overwhelming.

☎️Billy doesn't really groom it and since it's the 70s, he also doesn't shave it

I = Intimacy (how are they during sex in a romantic aspect?)

☎️He is generally not the romantic type so don't hope for rose pedals and lit candles.

☎️When he is in a more lucid state he will give your face small and sweet kisses while he giggles happily with a manic undertone.

J = Jack off / Jill off (how do they masturbate and how often?)

☎️Before he met you? Probably almost daily. The pumps are fast and eager without a rythm and really messy.

K = Kink (any kinks?)

☎️There is almost nothing he wouldn't try at least once, Billy is an adventurous and curious guy, so I keep it down to a hand full.

☎️Dirty talk, it's either messy game with words that he repeats like a broken record or really fucking good, not in a poetic way but the filth that comes from his mouth is GOOD. But he often does it when he is more unstable, be a bit more careful around him especially if the words become messier and messier.

☎️Breeding, not in a way of wanting children, god no don't let this man near kids, he is scared of them and they are scared of him, but more in a way of wanting to see you stuffed with his cum. He may not produce a lot but he got the Stamina for that, the only question that lays in the room is, if you can keep up with him.

☎️ We all know that he is really into voyeurism, it doesn't even need to be sexual he just likes watching you. If you give him a small show he will vibrated with anticipation and pounce on you immediately.

☎️Phone sex, do I need to say anything more?? It's thrilling for him and sometimes it gets paired up with a bit of roleplay (unintentionally most of the time) , the whole act is also a great way to tease him. Just don't do it too much, he can take a bit but it's a fine line of a horny Billy and an angry Billy.

☎️There is still so much more but god dammit I will be here forever.

Edging, overstimulation, Pegging, Thigh jobs, geting his hair pulled, praise and many more!

L = Location (were do they like to have sex?)

☎️The thought of fucking you everywhere is really alluring but he mostly does it in the bed and attic. He doesn't want to risk getting caught and honestly the thought alone that people could be near gives him anxiety.

M = Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)

☎️Everything, you could just walk around and he could pop a boner. The guy is just really unpredictable and his moods can swing erratically which influences his horniness a lot.

☎️But if we assume he is in a more stable mindset where is squirrel brain isn't high on sugar here are a few things that always work;

Soft and sensual touches on arms and thighs

Teasing/slight tickling with fingers on the back of his neck to the end of his spine

Showing a bit more skin the usually and having direct eye contact that lingers a bit longer then the norm

Any close contact to his crotch area, the man will jump on you like a dog

N= No (what's a turn off/they don't want to do?)

☎️Getting too violent, it's more of a safety thing for your own health. He can quickly slip in a dangerous mindset, ESPECIALLY at the beginning of the relationship and I doubt you like to be the moaner's next murderer victim.

☎️Billy can't stand brats in bed it irritates him, or just any kind of attitude.

☎️He also doesn't like it if his s/o dirty talks back, when he does it it often doesn't register in his mind, so if his lovely partner does it, it kind of disgust and displeases him greatly.

O = Oral (do they like to give or receive? How is their skill? How do they react during receiving?)

☎️He LOVES to give oral, Billy could die between your legs and honestly, that's the way he wants to go. He also wouldn't say no to a blowjob and would get ecstatic with the offer (if he didn't ask demanded first).

☎️But sadly Billy isn't that skillful, he makes a lot of sloppy noises and purposely makes a mess, spit, your juices and possibly his cum will be splattered across your whole crotch area and thighs.

☎️He does well alright tho, it isn't anything special but the way he has his grabby boney fingers grab at your body restlessly and his tongue tasting every corner makes it up for any lack of knowledge he has. His tounge is also really long.

☎️You think he stays still when you go down on him?? Oooooh no, god you might have to tie his hands up. They would grab anything they can get, cushion, objects your hair ect, and the guy will pull and squeeze it like his live depends on it.

☎️He also will buck his hips into you and straight up face fucks you, ya need a lot of strength in your arms and hands if you want Billy to stay still. Also the noise he makes? For some it can be really hot but for other a huge turn of, he chokes on his own spit and the moans can sound really animalistic and loud. Either gag him or let everyone know you get hot and heavy with him. That is if anyone is in the house.

P = Pace (how is their thrusting? Hard, fast, deep ect)

☎️He goes FAST, like a bunny in heat, so you better be prepared to have some bruising from his violent thrusting.

☎️The thrust are also relatively hard but 0 rythm.

☎️ His dick also sometimes just slips out, it happened a few times that he also completely missed the targed and rams his dick full speed to your ass (and continues like a champ).

☎️And if your afab he probably "accidentally" buries his junk in the wrong whole.

Q = Quickie (do they like Quickies, if yes how often?)

☎️Yes god he loves them, he often uses them to get rid of extra energy or pent up emotions and there is A LOT , (just be a bit careful with the emotions, maeby talk it out (if you manage to have a reasonable conversation with this rat of a man) what he feels and why he wants to do it, safe words is also a good idea).

R = Risk (any risk their willing to do?)

☎️Fucking you in a room while the sorority sisters are right next to it, he would be so drowned in the bliss that he forgetshis anxiety, but if you are able to comfort him afterwards do it. He often slips into a bad and sometimesaggressivemanic state untreated. (Again,it's a mess if you don't want to get caught, gag the man).

S = Stamina (how long can they go? How long do they last?)

☎️Bitch can go all night, no joke he recovers fast and his hunger for you has no end. He may take small breaks in between the rough fucking, but I'm gonna tell ya his grip on you is like steel he won't let go of you.

T = Toys (any toys they like? If yes, what toys do they like on themselves and on their partner?)

☎️He think's their funny and definitely will mess around with them. Use as many as your kinky heart desires he will follow lead.

☎️On him? Great he waits eagerly on the bed almost jumping from the spot because he is so excited. He loves vibrators and nipple clamps, but collars are good too!

☎️On you? Lord have mercy on your poor soul because you didn't know what's coming for you. Honey you got a big storm coming. But please teach him how to use them and what feels good and what not or else he will stab your insides with a dildo.

U = Unfair (are they a tease? How do they react if teased?)

☎️Billy goes always straight to the point, but sometimes he teases which often happens without his intentions.

☎️The whole thing gets even worse when he goes down on you. This man has bairly any cohesive thoughts what makes you think that he can concentrate for a solid minute. While he is doing it his mind is already somewhere else, which makes him stop for a few seconds or slow down, or not giving the right spots the attention they need. So your agonizingly lay between the almost orgasmic feeling and under stimulation.

V = Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

☎️Not necessarily LOUD but people will know what's going on (if you go down on him it's a whole other thing).

☎️The noises he normally makes is strangled / chocked up moans, groaning, giggling or straight up laughing and some mumbling that you for the most part don't fully hear.

W = Wild card (random nsfw headcanon(s))

☎️Billy has a thing for submissive and innocent people, it is more fun to see them react to his vulgar and partly extreme behavior. The way the Yelp when he gives them a rough handling or spurts out the most filthiest thing makes his blood boil. It just something of corrupting someone innocent, sweet and well mannered to something that can only be described as a human mess is making him more feral then he already is. Bonus points if they are covered in his cum and drool.

☎️If somehow you both manage to a a healthy relationship this man will go down your pants faster then the speed of light. And Billy gets quite upset if you say no to him.

☎️Likes to suprise his s/o with him wanking it in front of you in the worst time you can imagine. Ho? Your bringing in the groceries and are in a hurry because the ice cream will melt? Suprises Billy blocks the doorway and rubs his dick violently while having direct eye contact. If you manage to walk past him he will follow you around trying to put your hands on his dick, or even try's to get a blowjob out of you. If not well then his hand and your thighs or ass will do the job too!

☎️Loves to bite and suck on your neck it's also something that gets him going like nothing else, nobody know why but it does.

X = X-ray (what's going on under those clothes?)

☎️Not exactly fat, but he got something packing, around 6.5 inches in length and 5.3 inches in girth. The man is cut and got some thin veins here and there.

Y = Yearning (how high is their libido?)

☎️High, just say your into the mood from another room while having a mouth full of stuff and the man will go crashing down the attic before you finish your sentence even tho it was bairly understandable on what you sayd.

Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep?)

☎️It's always different one time he is knockout in a few seconds the other night he was awake for another 4 hours, it just depends on how much gymnastics you both needed to make and how bad his manic episode is.

#slashers #slasher #slasher fandom #slasher community #my writing #headcanons #slasher headcanons #ns//fw headcanon #ns//fw #billy lenz #black christmas #black christmas 1974 #phew that was a lot #or at least it feels that way #gender neutral s/o #mention of afab #gender neutral reader #billy lenz x reader #billy lenz x s/o

[transformersmr-hq]

Ever since Cyberverse season 4 dropped this "Soundblaster" entity into the world, my brain has been insisting that every single Soundwaves should have their own Soundblaster. 

So, here we have a TFMR-verse Soundblaster. Yes, this one has a face, because why not?

More info under the cut

Info

Designation: Soundblaster

Affiliation: Neutral

Occupation: Head of a Mercenary band

Does not have any outlier powers unlike Soundwave

Not blind like Soundwave, but has astigmatism, and YB colorblindness

Personality

A gremlin. Keep away from Fortnite and Minecraft at all times.

Would have identified as a 'she' if she ever made contact with Earth culture, but only because Soundwave goes by a 'he'

As insane and unpredictable as she is smart, which is unfortunate because she is pretty damn smart.

Considers herself to be a "1337 H4X0R", and this is not that far from truth; since she doesn't have Soundwave's super op mind power, she had to compensate it with mad computer skills instead

Recharges with night light on.

Background

Shockwave gets an idea one day; what if he can build organs and body parts in a lab and mass-produce it? That way, heavily injured Decepticon soldiers would have bigger chance of survival

Shockwave prepares for experiment, looking for suitable DNA sample to work with (yes I wrote DNA instead of CNA. There's a worldbuilding post regarding this but Tumblr search function is a total shit so cant find it atm)

Soundwave donates his DNA, because he gets to have free replacement organs if it succeeds, and what could possibly go wrong even if it doesn't?

Experiment starts

Turns out, it is impossible to create a functioning organ without creating an entire body

So Shockwave does exactly that

The body is supposed to be a sparkless shell, as it was artificially created in a test tube with DNA sample and lump of raw sentio metallico

Turns out, sparkless shells attract stray Sparks

Boom, Soundblaster

Soundwave absolutely does NOT approve of her existence, but takes her in regardless since Decepticons are short-staffed in communications department

Turns out, Soundblaster is like a child's spark stuck in adult's body

Obviously Soundblaster's performance and mental stability is not very impressive

But then, one day, she finally learns why she was created and what she was created for

Flips her shit, says 'nope' to the Decepticon and flies off to Primus knows where

Shockwave swears never to fiddle with DNA or cloning technology after this 'Soundblaster incident"  

To this day, Shockwave still apologizes Soundwave about it

#transformers: mobius run #drawing #soundblaster #soundwave #maccadam

[miniwolfsbane]

Sweet Tooth S1 thoughts (BIG SPOILERS)

First off, I am disappointed we were shown a PURRING PUPPY BABY in the trailer and had 0 follow up with it? Did he/she escape to Istanbul with it’s parents? Get captured? Live a nomadic life? Live in the forest? I WANT ANSWERS!! :( Also, puppies don’t purr, so I want answers to that too. Unless they were trying to go for a whimper or an animal noise and just went with that instead.

BIG SPOILERS under the cut

Anyway, the only two things, aside from the bits of gore and violence (Reviews are all like “IT’S A FAMILY SHOW!” And I counter back with “I would not let any child under 13 watch this and I have never seen a family show with three seconds of guts being removed and two scenes of implied, live vivisecting on sentient beings without anesthetic.”), the only things I didn’t like about this were using 2 overused cliche’s. One being the hero hanging off a bridge for what seems like 12 years above peril, and the other I can’t remember. It was Jeppard nearly missing the train. The only thing that saved it was the flashback.

The other thing was that, while dark, there’s a bit of predictably and not much depth to the story. I realized last night that the comic source material my have the depth I’m craving out of the story. Just because it has child actors doesn’t mean the story can’t be dug into deeper and have more meaning. I applaud them for what they did and how they handled it, mixing in human-ish vivisecting with neighbors burning down their friends houses and being murderous hypocrites into a story about children, but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more.  Edit: Not more violence, obviously, just more to the story. dig into the universe, hard. Like gardening, just shove both metaphorical hands into that story soil and root around in it. Find all the gems that are the interesting parts of this universe and answer our questions. 

Sadly, I see someone on tumblr called it...something. Like, were we even watching the same show?? A multi-racial cast that gives all it’s characters dignity isn’t...that.

Bobby isn’t creepy to most and not shown that much. If you really think Bobby is that creepy, you need to go see original Bobby and get back to me. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=mv4YBZHa&id=071BD6BDAA183CA5965247E7F8F68E873375399B&thid=OIP.mv4YBZHau8dTzxGoK0L0ggHaHD&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fvignette.wikia.nocookie.net%2Fmarvel_dc%2Fimages%2Ff%2Ffc%2FBobby_Sweet_Tooth_001.jpg%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20150813115735&cdnurl=https%3A%2F%2Fth.bing.com%2Fth%2Fid%2FR9afe180591dabbc753cf11a82b42f482%3Frik%3Dmzl1M4eO9vjnRw&pid=ImgRaw&exph=616&expw=647&q=sweet+tooth+comics+bobby&simid=608026455638091252&ck=7A4DBACCF6BFE43E3B1E799F7F88C55A&selectedindex=0&adlt=demote&shtp=GetUrl&shid=3fb5000d-4d63-494a-986d-006fedeb28d5&shtk=Qm9iYnkgKFN3ZWV0IFRvb3RoKSB8IERDIERhdGFiYXNlIHwgRmFuZG9t&shdk=Rm91bmQgb24gQmluZyBmcm9tIGRjLmZhbmRvbS5jb20%3D&shhk=NjRWN4Jv1KDrxu8T30I3UN0IQ71oVtCAEnsLIeSmFl4%3D&form=EX0023&shth=OSH.nyb0RMh%252Bnm%252B%252B%252FIH1cnkhHw

Okay, kid does sorta look like a gremlin mixed with a Furby in the show, like one post said, but I’ve seen worse. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=F9mlBjUo&id=49C0257935E4A941563E579C7E9DCF48B72BEC01&thid=OIF.eyTVbAuEqt0R%2bKFmrIK4gA&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fepipoca.com.br%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2021%2f06%2fE3NUK2kVoAE5Ct_.jpg&cdnurl=https%3a%2f%2fth.bing.com%2fth%2fid%2fR17d9a5063528805f1ade0ea77464df86%3frik%3d%26pid%3dImgRaw&exph=675&expw=1482&q=sweet+tooth++Bobby&simid=297111136187&ck=7B24D56C0B84AADD11F8A166AC82B880&selectedIndex=49&FORM=IRPRST&ajaxhist=0&ajaxserp=0

Sometimes stuff goes over my head. I had no idea that the babies were being born and not made in a lab. When they showed them in the maternity ward, I genuinely thought they had been experimented on and didn’t come out of the womb like that. Apparently I missed that it was a maternity ward in a hospital. That’s my other problem with this show I forgot to mention: It defies logic and you really have to turn off your brain to accept the hybrid concept. I’m guessing the virus or other means (possibly according to the comics, I tried to avoid big spoilers), mutated them in utero. That still doesn’t satisfy me. Thankfully, Gus was somehow lab created, so that helps. (More information and context would be appreciated. Was it, like, they were experimenting with in-vitro or what?) Edit: This article https://screenrant.com/sweet-tooth-theory-purple-flowers-cure-sick-virus/ explains that putting the virus in a chicken egg produced Gus. Which makes even less sense. Edit: This MAY or MAY NOT be right. Someone on YT pointed out they never said this in the show.

 IRL, Virus + chicken embryo=would never randomly produce a human/deer hybrid baby. It’s so freaking random it sounds like nonsense or the delusions of a madman, not a rational comic book author with a presumably sane mind. Just...I’ve said it before...things have to make sense, even in fiction. 5 step process of anything cannot equal random result. It goes against all science, right? And made up worlds have to have rules, even silly worlds. Like I said, you have to turn your brain off, but this stretches even my disbelief. Hybrids, I get, fine, but that? I’m sorry, what? *headdesk* I don’t know, maybe the comics had something I’m missing since I never read them.

I’m eager to learn the connection to the kids and the virus as we go. And if we don’t get a season 2, I’ll be getting the comics to satisfy my thirst for this show.

Gus is my baby and I don’t understand how a kid could be that cute. Jeppard is the GOAT (lol) Bear could use better line delivery at times, but her acting will improve I’m sure. Nice to see Diana Ramierez acting again, her character is likeable. Wendy is cute, but kinda just there for me. Needs more traits or character development to get on my favorite characters list. Bear also needs more than just backstory and a tough girl persona. She’s not bland, she just needs more spark to her as a character. More personality, if that makes sense. 

Lastly, I wanted a tiny bit more from the make-up department. Wendy and rabbit kids (yes, I took note of this detail and I love bunnies) make-up is on point, but the rest look like kids dressed up in dollar store feathers and fur for a school play. Get more creative if you’re gonna show these hybrids, even if it’s just for a few seconds. You have the budget!! (But I think most of that went to Bobby’s puppetry/CGI and Jeppard’s baby, to be honest.)

I wanted a cat girl or boy, because the lulz for the anime community (Also, because I have 2 cats and stuff), but at least we got bird kids, even if they weren’t cockatiels like mine. I’m ready for Season 2, hurry Netflix!!

I can see why people wouldn’t like this show or wouldn’t recommend watching it, but I see many have embraced it. It’s either you’re thing or it’s not, but you should give it a chance and see. Just don’t shoot it down if you hate it, there’s enough wet blankets out there and we all have different tastes.

Edit: One last thing. I do have a problem with hybrids being half-human. Like, you would think that being half-human, they’d still have all the problems humans have with causing wars and all. I know it’s a dark story with a good outcome, but there’s something too saccharine about hybrids having “The best parts of us.” What exactly are those best parts? Last I checked, humans are selfish and vain at their core. Even the most altruistic, giving person can be greedy about something or want more. It’s like Genie said in the new Aladdin, “You can have all the money and power in the world and it still won’t be enough”.  Wouldn’t bird people and pig people and deer people all want to side with each other instead of living in some grand utopia? Fighting over land and resources? Portraying hybrids as taking over the earth after people are gone from extinction and everything going peachy doesn’t quite work for me. Not that I’d want it to still be dark, but, eh, they’d have to have SOME problems, wouldn’t they?

#Sweet Tooth Netflix #Gus #Jeppard #hybrids #Sweet Tooth spoilers

[comicaurora]

Hiya Red! I love your art; it's so bouncy and simple and fun to look at while still having the details and structure to look really cool. I've been drawing more lately and I was curious if you've ever had any style envy. I'm pleased with what my style looks like and it's still trying to settle, but sometimes I look through other people's art and think "man, I wish I could do that." I try to approach it as things to learn from by seeing what aspects I like, but I struggle to work through it alot.

I’ve definitely experienced that! Moreso when I was younger and a lot worse at art - I’d see people’s style and try to emulate it, failing because I didn’t have the base level of technical skill to produce the effect I wanted. That frustration drove a lot of my artistic development. It’s lessened as I became more comfortable with my own style - to an extent. The last time I experienced style envy, I was watching Howl’s Moving Castle and it was a bad scene. The characters were fine, well within my comfort zone, but the backgrounds physically hurt me. I’ve specialized in lineart and crisp cell-shading - proper painting has evaded me, and painted backgrounds with that degree of complexity were on a whole other level. I look at the cell-shading tricks I’ve developed to make halfway decent foliage in my comic backgrounds, I look at what Studio Ghibli does for every single shot, and I weep internally that I’ll never have the attention span to do what they do.

Fucking hell. Unnecessary, that’s what that is. That shot is less than ten seconds long.

I think ultimately style envy comes from the feeling of “I couldn’t do that”, and that feeling lessens the more art you do. Regardless of your personal style of choice, there’s a base technical skillset in all visual art that boils down to “how effectively can you put what you’re envisioning down on the page”. Even if someone’s art style is very different from your own, you can still look at it and see how they did it. Seeing art from this analytical perspective sidesteps the envy and goes straight into practicality - what are they doing, what can I learn from this, how could I make this work for how I work? Why couldn’t I do that? What do I need to learn to become capable of doing that?

Right now most of my personal style envy flareups come from visual complexity. Ghibli movies make incredibly complex, vibrant background shots that are then never reused, and I look at that and think “I couldn’t do that” - not because I couldn’t physically paint it (although I couldn’t, I can’t paint for beans) but because I literally couldn’t force my brain to make such a detailed image with so little payoff. The ADHD brain gremlins would complain nonstop. I can draw complex character poses all the livelong day, but static environments are like kryptonite. When I see something that does them really well, I get that envy pang because no matter how technically skilled I become, I won’t be able to do anything like that. (Or will I? As I get faster, complex art seems to bore me less, so maybe I’ll become more comfortable with ludicrously complex environments - or maybe I’ll figure out more shortcuts to produce the illusion of complexity with minimal work)

Style envy is a legitimately useful impulse if you can identify what, specifically, is provoking it. Is it the crispness of the lineart? You might need to build up some muscle memory so your own lines become smoother and more confident. Is it the vibrant colors? You might wanna play around with highlights and shading to get a feel for that kind of visual flair. Intricate shading? Might need to familiarize yourself with how light interacts with 3D objects. The thing that pings the envy is usually the thing your brain wants to get better at - it’s just a matter of figuring out what that is.

#aurora #asks #art stuff

[renthony]

Hey, youre an awesome writer/author. I was wondering if I could ask for a little advice. writing used to be an integral hobby of mine, but now when I try I find myself struggling with severe anxiety. I cant even work on pieces i dont plan on sharing with anyone. do you have any suggestions for breaking back into it and getting some words down?

I get variations on this question often enough that there are several sitting in my inbox I still haven't managed to get to. I never quite know how to respond.

The hard truth, Anon, is that I'm struggling with that exact thing. I'm disabled and depressed and dealing with all the chaos of the world, and it makes it hard to do much of anything, much less write. I average maybe one productive day of writing every couple weeks, no matter how much I try to force myself to work.

I used to fill notebooks. I used to write every spare minute I had. I never didn't have a notebook on me. But as I got older, and everything started going haywire, I lost that, because I had to channel all of that energy into just...surviving. I don't have an inspirational "here's how I beat it and became the world's most productive writer!" story, because I struggle with it every single day.

But I do have some things that make it just a little easier:

Talk about your writing. Make picrews of your characters, tell your friends about the scene you're working on, post snippets of your stuff on your blog, whatever sounds fun to you. I want SO BADLY to share my excitement about my characters with people, but writing is so goddamn hard. So talk about your writing. Even if you don't finish the story or it changes or it never really goes anywhere at all, talk about it, share it, and enjoy it. I struggle with it a lot, because I'm a horrid little perfectionist gremlin who is convinced everything I write is garbage, but goddammit, the only way to get over that is just to...do it.

So I do. I cringe and I get anxious and I talk to my friends about how shitty I feel about myself, but I do it, and I try very hard to listen to them when they remind me that depression is a liar.

Indulge yourself. Make playlists, make Pinterest inspiration boards, make art, put together moodboards. Play. Do goofy fandom stuff for your own OCs, even if nobody else gets it. Jazz yourself up and fall in love with the world you've created.

Don't make "writer" part of your core identity. That was my fuckup. I internalized the idea that I'm a writer, and writers have to write, so days when I can't write? I feel like I'm failing as a person. I'm struggling every single day to unpack that and undo that damage, and it's hard as hell. All humans have the innate drive to tell stories and share our experiences. It's a part of who we are.

Every human is a storyteller--when you tell your friends about your day, when you share a funny anecdote with a coworker, when you post on tumblr about your cat, you're telling stories and weaving words.

You're a storyteller by sheer nature of being human, which means it's impossible to "fail" as one. That's what I hold in my heart to get me through the rough times.

And, more than anything, don't cut yourself off from other media. I have a nasty little habit of getting stuck in a spiral where I feel guilty for consuming media when I haven't produced "enough" of my own. What "enough" is, my anxiety refuses to tell me. So not only do I not create, I don't consume, either--which means I'm not filling the creative tanks.

I gave in and let my best friend convince me to watch The Dragon Prince on Netflix recently, and the only way I can describe it is like...you know when you're dehydrated and take a big gulp of nice cold water, and you can kinda feel your brain re-inflate? It felt like that. I felt inspired to make notes and doodle and invest more energy into writing again. I had a solid few days after finishing TDP where I wrote quite a bit. So you gotta remember to fill those creative tanks.

Don't just consume your favorites over and over--find new stuff. Enjoy it. Talk about it. Revel in it. Let it inspire you and give you fun new ideas of your own.

And when all else fails, I like to go watch a marathon of Overly Sarcastic Productions' Trope Talk videos. It gets me thinking about stories that I like, why I like them, and what kind of twists I'd like to see in them. Which almost always gets me writing again.

So yeah. I don't have all the answers, but...that's what I do to help. I hope you find it useful, Anon. Be well. <3

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot - “Carolina in My Mind” (Rated PG)

Summary: Things get a little spicy when Sebastian decides that Kurt and Blaine are going to start doing TikTok challenges... in part to exact revenge on his boyfriend for covering him in glitter and posting photos on Instagram. (1845 words)

Notes: It's not as lurid as the summary makes it sound XD Makes a reference to an earlier quarantine one-shot 'All The Glitters'.

Part 67 of Outside Edge

Read on AO3.

"We're doing TikTok challenges now!?" Kurt groans, sliding to a halt in front of his boyfriend, arms crossed over his chest before he comes to a stop.

Sebastian beams, flashing Kurt his iPhone screen with the app already open. "Ah. I see you got my message." 

"Aren't we already living through hell? Do we have to add humiliation to the mix?"

"You're one to talk! If you get to cover us in makeup and glitter and post photos on Instagram, I get to do this!"

"But that performance makeup contest was hosted by the ISI," Blaine points out. "What merit does a TikTok challenge have?"

Sebastian watches Blaine glide to a stop beside his boyfriend and pulls a face. "Well, Doubty McDoubterson, tons of people join TikTok every day, including figure skaters. You two were worried about staying in the public eye during the pandemic. This will be great visibility for us within the skating community."

"A-ha." Kurt shares a skeptical side glance with Blaine. "Now, why don't you tell us why we're really doing this."

Sebastian gasps, stumbling back as if punched in the face. "Kurt! I'm wounded! Deeply wounded! I'm being completely honest here! I'm only thinking of you guys, working hard to keep your names in the mouths of... "

"Before you say another word," Kurt interrupts with a finger raised, "may I remind you that you have a five o'clock sesh riding on this answer."

Sebastian's mouth hangs open, caught around the next word. But a beat later, he snaps it shut. "Fine. We're doing this because we've been on lockdown for about ten years and I'm bored to tears!"

"Nice," Kurt says, "seeing as you've spent all of quarantine with us."

"Will you be partaking?" Blaine rushes in before Sebastian can shove his foot any further down his throat. He's not being entirely selfless, but he'd rather not admit out loud that Sebastian's plan is a decent one, ulterior motives aside. Blaine has a TikTok account and has wasted plenty of precious training time scrolling through clips. Sebastian is right - a lot of figure skaters post on there, even some big names in their sport. It's a better platform for it than Instagram. If they pull this off, they could become TikTok famous, and that wouldn't exactly hurt when they make their comebacks.

"I am." Sebastian wiggles his camera in front of their faces. "I'm the cameraman."

"Of course," Kurt mutters under his breath. "So what's the challenge?" he asks, eager to get this over with, hoping he doesn't regret it too much later. "It is a skating challenge, right?"

"Of course it's a skating challenge! In fact, you guys get to perform your routines... " Kurt stares at his grinning boyfriend, waiting for the shoe to drop. And it does when Sebastian picks up a small paper bag off the boards and holds it out to them "... after you've eaten this pepper. There's one in there for each of you."

"I guess it's too much to hope it's a bell pepper," Kurt remarks as Blaine takes the bag and opens the top. He reaches a hand in and pulls out a bright reddish-orange vegetable the size of his thumb. Kurt recognizes it right away, his eyes going wide at the Carolina Reaper pinched between Blaine's fingertips.

"A little bit, yeah," Blaine says.

"What th---? Aren't those things illegal?" Kurt asks, on the brink of turning and running, leaving his friend behind to suffer the consequences.

"Nope. They're perfectly legal," Sebastian says. "And they won't cause any permanent damage. I checked."

"That's so nice of you."

"Come on! This'll be fun!"

"For you! You're running the camera!"

"I've got you guys. Look! I brought you some milk for after," he says, producing the smallest, middle-school carton of two percent in existence. How he expects the both of them to share that, Kurt doesn't know. It's probably part of the schtick, Kurt thinks, to cap off the hilarity - the two of them fighting over seven ounces of milk with their mouths on fire. "Also... " Sebastian deliberates when he feels himself losing ground, running through options in his head he hopes Kurt might jump at so he can get his TikTok "... I'll let you pick the next challenge. Then you can be the cameraman."

A malicious grin spreads across Kurt's face, but Sebastian squashes it with the stipulation: "But remember - whatever you make me do, Blaine has to do, too."

"Don't I get any say in this?" Blaine asks.

"No," Sebastian answers without looking at him.

"Well, do I get a turn at choosing?"

"Maybe... provided Kurt agrees to my conditions."

Kurt glares at his manipulative ass of a boyfriend, putting him on the spot in the name of social media currency. But what the heck? This could be fun. Plus, turnabout is fair play. He'll get Sebastian back. 

Oh yes. He'll get him back.

Besides, Kurt isn't a stranger to spicy foods. His dad has put plenty of red and green gremlins, each residing on different ends of the Scoville scale, in that disastrous chili he makes every fourth of July. How much worse could eating this one raw be?

"Fine." Kurt snatches the pepper out of Blaine's hand but doesn't bring it anywhere near his mouth.

Blaine, on the other hand, goes all in, grabbing his pepper out of the bag, popping it into his mouth, chewing like crazy, and then swallowing, probably in the hopes that it would hurt less if he did it fast, like pulling off a Bandaid. Then he skates off.

His plan doesn't work too well though. Thirty seconds into his backward crossovers, his face scrunches. He puts a hand to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut, cheeks flushing beet red before Kurt's eyes. "Jesus Christ! I can't see!"

Kurt fixes steely eyes on his boyfriend, filming and giggling like a fiend as Blaine attempts a triple Axel and singles it, arms flailing when he tries to fan his mouth at the same time. 

"I'm picturing a Speedo," Kurt says as he prepares to drop the Reaper into his mouth. "An embarrassingly tight Speedo, seven gallons of honey, an angry beehive... " He carefully places the pepper on his tongue. His salivary glands kick into overdrive when its waxy exterior makes contact, but he can't persuade his teeth to bite.

"Ooo," Sebastian coos, provoking him. "Blaine covered in bees? That's going to be hilarious! And I can't wait to see his face when he finds out it was your idea. But what are you going to make me do?"

That does it. 

Kurt's teeth clench inadvertently, catching the pepper as it rolls off his tongue and pummeling it to bits between his pearly whites. The burn washes through his mouth, spreading in an instant with the obliterated pepper sitting for too long on his tongue.

"Shit!" he yelps, swallowing what remains whole. He coughs violently, almost puking up his lunch. "Shit shit shit!" 

"Don't die," Sebastian teases. "Not for TikTok."

"Nice to see you have priorities," Kurt growls, overcome by a sudden urge to get as far away from his insufferable boyfriend as his skates can take him. 

Now he has to pull this off so he can rub it in Sebastian's face.

Remembering that Blaine has a head start on him, he forces his feet to move. A swiftly blossoming headache completely erases his new routine from his brain so he begins improvising, starting with the opening of his last Regionals piece. He opens with a pancake spin.

Big mistake.

Crouching low over his bent leg as he spins forces his mouth closed, everything from his gums to his cheeks aflame. 

"Nope!" he sputters. "Nope nope nope!" He ends his spin prematurely, hacking as he settles into backward crossovers. 

These are worse. 

Since he's pushing into the air with his back, none of it hits his face, depriving him of relief. He catches sight of Blaine skating as fast as he can with his mouth wide open, preparing to enter another jump. He performs a double toe loop, then another, then another. Kurt doesn't understand. Blaine doesn't perform doubles in his routine. He's beyond that. 

Then it hits him.

Blaine can do a row of doubles faster than he can perform consecutive triples. He's using rotational inertia to cool his face.

It's genius.

Kurt launches into the air, stringing together three of the most lopsided double Salchows he's ever landed. And he barely lands them at that, overestimating his edge and nicking his toepick. He gives up on his choreography altogether, performing whatever move he has to to shove ice-cold air into his mouth. Element by element, Kurt's routine devolves until his goal becomes keeping his mouth from bursting into flames. 

He can't remember the last time he flubbed up this badly. He and Blaine probably look like drooling dogs doing the most, but his throat burns so badly, he couldn't care less. Kurt's nose runs like a faucet, but nowhere near as much as his eyes, which he has the hardest time prying open. 

He decides to skate blind, praying he doesn't collide with Blaine, whose blades he can no longer identify on the ice. By the time Kurt strikes his final pose, he's puffy-eyed, sweating like no one's business, with his lower jaw hanging to his chest, wheezing as he sucks in mouthfuls of cold air. He can't hear much for the ringing in his ears, but he suspects Sebastian may be laughing his ass off. 

Why did he agree to this again? 

"How did I do?" he asks, skating back to his boyfriend, trying not to touch his tongue to his lips, or his lips to each other.

"Meh. You've done better," Sebastian replies, replaying the video over and over, snickering at choice scenes.

"Thanks, coach," Kurt seethes, wondering how well Sebastian would skate if Kurt shoved one of those peppers up his nose.

"At least you fared better than Blaine."

"Why?" Kurt pants, scanning the rink through the narrow slits of his swollen eyelids. "What happened to him?"

Sebastian jerks a thumb over his shoulder. "Took himself out of the running before his second Axel attempt, the poor schlub."

Kurt peeks over Sebastian's shoulder and spots Blaine, lying on his stomach, tongue pressed flat to the ice.

Kurt makes a face. He doesn't blame the guy, but still. 

Yuck. 

"Blaine? Honey? That's not a good idea."

"Yeah, weirdo. We have milk."

"I 'as saving da 'ilk for 'urt," Blaine explains, not moving his tongue while he does.

"Oh!" Kurt sighs, pressing a hand over his heart, overdoing the swoon because he knows how much it will irk Sebastian. The jerk deserves it. "That's so sweet!"

Blaine smiles. At least it looks like he does.

Sebastian grimaces. Great. Upstaged by a boy who looks like he just Frenched a patch of poison ivy. "Yeah, yeah. Cavity inducing. Get your ass up, Anderson. You're just making it worse. Besides, you're burning a hole through my ice."

#Kurtbastian #sebkurt #sekurt #sebastian smythe #kurt hummel

[grayattitude-blog]

Tits

I'm sitting here, at my desk, pumping my tits for the millionth time today. I'm also drinking a very, very heavy and equally as classy cocktail of Black Velvet whiskey and Dr. Pepper. Shut up. I'm not going to use this breastmilk. I saved my few little ounces of liquid gold I was able to produce today and tonight, pre-cocktail, and tucked it away nicely, in a sterile bottle, in the door of the tiny fridge in our kitchen like I always do. I'm so careful not to let anything get into babe's milk and just about have it down to a science how much I can consume, when and to what capacity before one of those little alcohol test strips stares back at me, brown in color, giving me the "Nope, not this batch," positive result I know is sometimes coming. This batch will be dumped. I know it's teeming with too much booze for baby.

This breastfeeding shit takes time. And energy. And did I mention time? But it's what I want to do and have always wanted to do. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'll feel like a failure if I can't breastfeed. But I'm learning it's tougher than expected. My little jugs are having a hard time producing, despite all my efforts, but I'm not stopping any time soon. This, I'm in for the long haul.

Not going to get into anything deep or specific at this point, writing-wise. I'm tired and my contacts desperately need to be peeled from my eyeballs. Eye doc appointment in the morning. Of course I'll be bringing baby, because husband will be at work. He's always at work lately. And once he's home, he's falling asleep after only a couple hours max. He works hard, and is tired, I know, but it still annoys me. Mommy never gets a break. I don't even know the last time I ate a meal with both hands. I'm the one who gets up at night. I'm the one who bathes him, feeds him, keeps him from fussing at every moment, attempts to shower six times before it actually happens and even then is a race to the finishline. Time to shave my legs? You're funny. Exfoliate my feet? Hilarious. I had to explain last week how it'd be nice if he'd watch the baby for fifteen tiny minutes, or put his leaving to make a simple store run just for fucking cigarettes off for a few more minutes, so that I could maybe take a shower in peace without having to rush. And even then, I had to put on baby gloves so as to not offend him by asking too much. I swear. Sometimes he seems to care about literally fucking nothing, other times, I'm asking for the world with simple requests like showers.

This reminds me, when the fuck does he ask me to watch the baby so he can take a shower? Holy shit. I just realized that that's literally never happened. Never. I'm always here, at any moment, to watch and care for the baby. He doesn't even have to think twice. I've lightly mentioned this to him before, but I still don't think it actually registers in his brain. Whatever.

When was the last time he went to lunch with friends and got to relax? Ope, yesterday. And today. And all week. And every day. Because his employees are his buddies and he spends $30/day on lunch out. Then here I am at home scrambling to brush my teeth and wash my face in the morning before the gremlin awakens, doing the damn thing all day with zero break, not to mention lunch, then continuing once husband's home because he's tired. It's funny though, how he always has the energy for friends, hanging out after work, skating, or drinking at Stella's on an "extended lunch" because he wanted to get day drunk. It's ok to spontaneously do that, no problem, but when is my turn? When will you adjust your schedule for ME?

Anyway, I said I wasn't getting into shit.

Husband's in our room passed out by 9, baby too, and I'm left to my own devices, which, tonight, is drinking enough whiskey to catch the buzz I miss so dearly. This is the other hard part of breastfeeding - wanting to drink all the time but not being able to, for baby's sake. I'm sitting here, now 1:20 AM, still working for our kid, pumping away, while you're sound asleep. Our agreement was you working and making the money while I stay home, not working, and caring for our son, yes, but this still isn't legitimately fair. Let's be honest here. Plus I'm going mad being at home like this already and he's only four months old (and today actually, November 10th, which I can't believe).

I've had to fight my drinking because I didn't have a choice.

He still hasn't stopped smoking, like he swore he would by the time babe was born. His day-to-day life has been relatively unchanged, whereas mine, my routine, my choices, my habits, my entire fucking BODY has.

Cool. This is fair.

Buzz achieved.

#relationships #marriage #newbaby #newmom #me #drinking #alcoholism #alcoholic