#this is also cuz i suck at plotting

[m3llowm1sh]

cw for flashing lights tw for (slight?) ab*se mentions in the lyrics!

ok so ever since i saw this post (specifically the last pic) i could not stop thinking about how the first glass beach album is kind of cocole coded which led to me thinking about it for like almost a week which led me to start progress on this custom level of glass beach by. glass beach which. is far. VERY far from finished (7 FUCKING MINUTES ARE YOU KIDDING ME) but i wanted to share what i have of it it anyways bcuz. i need ppl to see my vision.

this post got longer than i thought it would so. More ramblings under the cut

ik the song is supposed to be about a girl’s parents being shitty and the guy wanting his lover to run away from them and stuff, but i have a plot in mind about how instead of parents its nicoles smoking addiction which keeps on hurting her and how cole is tired of it. i think its nice to explore their journey of cutting away from their addiction (even though its mostly talked about in the game… idk i still think its interesting) and how everyone else in the hospital helps them idk. also including some pining because that's always wonderful

theres also this little mini comic i drew w the first couple of lyrics of classic j dies and goes to hell part 1, theres not really a story its just random moments but i still think its decently alright? i am. not a storyteller. IDK

but anyways i just want people to get that they are so. glass beach coded and i could NOT get them off of my mind for the life of me. i hope i can muster up the motivation to finish the level because i really really want to and i think itd be cool idk RAMBLE OVER

#rhythm doctor #cocole #the first part of the level kinda sucks ngl i am terrible at making dialouge not awkward #IF ITS OOC IM INCREDIBLY SORRY #also when ians voice is there the players supposed to hit om every beat after the first one #im still not sure how to properly cue that since its not a blast beat since its not on 1s and 3s #???? #also on the topic of the other first glass beach album songs #orchids is also very very them. probably more so than glass beach/blood rivers but i wanted to use that in the custom level cuz its more #plot heavy and dramatic? but orchids sends shivers down my spine too and it just fits them better actually #also cold weather. COLD WEATHER #nicoles off somewhere and long distance shenanigans ensue. it's also very them too minus the gay partLOL #just an idea #but idk im rambling in tags again AUGHG anways byee

[bobzora]

yeah femc has some really solid romance routes but i just cannot be assed to care too much because there are some crazy level yuri goings on in this game

#bobtalk #yeah i’ll max shinji and ryoji of course. ryoji especially he’s my bestfriend. akihiko…sorry lmao. #maxed saori and put my head in my hands. PEAK. i wonder what she’ll say in march. letter like temperance? #i feel like she’d really benefit from watching r/gu. by the way. she started talking about princes and princesses #p3pposting #anyway every girl you spoke more than 2 sentences to in male route was inexplicably madly in love with you. but femc has Charisma. #(still very funny how people line up outside your classroom to speak to you btw. lmao) #i want to do more junpei link cuz it’s been Very good but he’s occupied by the plot rn. sad! started shinji though (september) #anyway. every time i play portable i’m reminded how much girls rule. i love you girls. i finally got megido on my mothman. #i’m also reminded how sad i am about reload. WE DONT GET VOICED OR MODELLED SAORI……..THEY HATE WOMEN!!! #by the way yukari peak as fuck. shes so good. i’m trying 2 like mitsuru more because the student council type personality #never really appeals to me that much. <- im also trying to hack my brain to like makoto more. for feminism. i’m sorry women i’m working oni #she’s really pretty in arena btw. <3<3<3 #i also don’t especially care for akihiko i KNOW i’m SORRY. he’s fine. i like his dynamic with shinji and ken. sorry. lol #but yeah. i need aigis SL NOW!!!! #(theodore sucks btw. maybe that’s just because i don’t like men but i miss liz so bad. sigh.) #when my laptop works again maybe i’ll post some screenshots. <- playing on vita btw #good game. #(oh yeah i’ve maxed all social stats except i’m two from max on knowledge. whoops! at least it’s enough for Dying Young Man.)

[keeps-ache]

my sibling just tripped and i said 'god bless you ?????' like they sneezed or something ??

#just me hi #??? hfvbshf #i thought i was saying 'are you good?' but nope hfvbhsf #though i dunno why but i Do sometimes say god bless you to loud noises loll #//anyway oh my lllooroddssss why is sleep so awful bhvfsh #i sleep for six hours and i'm still kinda tired but that's it that's the Peak #if i sleep for any longer i think i start to decompose or something fffffhhdvc #like this SUCKS man whyyy hvfbs #also it's Extra Dumb because i'll start dreaming and just never wake up bc i HAVE to stay. for the Plot #cool tho bc i Did get to the end of my dream last night which is quite rare so !! :D #i do not remember it tho. but i am still satisfied about it lol :> #/but really sleeping is just Awful fvsh #and i have Tried to fix my sleeping schedule but ouaaghhfff it's a fight out here lmaoo #cuz i end up Storing energy until late at night and then i'm up until 4 a.m. again and oops there it goes again ! #i dunno hfh #i'm having hardware problems that are exacerbated by the software that's all i know lol :) #//anywayyy so i've been tryna work on that little lore book (slow work cuz the sleep got worse recently HrghB) and i got stopped short @ #chapter 2 bc i don't think i have a lot on the gods ?? #okay wait yeah i think i do #i just started going for a sec in the tags i think i do actually #i just gotta. uhhh reformat some stuff lmao :3 #so be back perhaps !!! oooo [<- ghost noise]

[lecliss]

I finished the special story in Connections and it got me to bawl my eyes out so bad. That story was so much more meaningful and emotional and impactful than the entirety of Naruto itself. What the fuck do you mean it was written by Kishimoto????? He did NOT write something for a side story in one of the ultimate ninja storm games and make it better than anything he's ever done before. There's just no fucking way.

#i fucking hate when filler and non canon side stuff is like. better than canon lmao #and not cuz like. filler doesnt deserve it ooo fuck filler whatever NO!!!!! BECAUSE IF ITS GOOD PEOPLE STILL DONT WATCH AND THEN CALL YOU #A LOSER EVEN BOTHERING WITH FILLER!!!!! FUCK OFF!!!! FUCK NARUTO AND FUCK SASUKE AND YOU KNOW WHAT. EVEN FUCK OBITO #NO THIS IS ABOUT BORUTO AND NANASHI AND HOW THAT WAS THE BEST NARUTO AND YES EVEN BORUTO CONTENT EVER CREATED #AND NO ONES GOING TO CARE BECAUSE WAAAA FILLER IS STUPID AND IT SUCKS WAAAAA SUCK MY COCK #the best most emotional arc in bleach is fucking filler. the connections side story is barely even filler when its for a fucking VIDEO GAME #ITS NOT FUCKING FAIRRRRRRRR!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #that was the best naruto content ever. better than even blood prison by a loooooong shot #it just fucked me up man. it really really fucked me up and REALLY got to me #i started getting pissed off how far down the rabbit hole it is of content people actovely DONT want #its an original side story in a game people play for the pvp. its boruto related. ITS FILLER as in no relation to the #plot written by ikemoto #its boruto and its filler and what could people possibly hate more? boruto filler. #but nanashi was an amazing character and bort proved once again that hes the bestest boy in the whole wide world #and not to mentiom merz was really really hot when he took the bandages off his face. im SORRY BUT ITS TRUEEEEE LOOK AT HIM!!!!! FUCK DUDE #and message was so so beautiful and so was the animation and the effects. and just. GOD. they could have made that a movie #MAAAAN i wish it was!!!! that woulda made an INCREDIBLE movie!!!!! #im not gonna get over this. i will always be obsessed with this. holy shit #also im sorry mitsuki but i ship BoruNana/BoruHika now. #at least with nanashi i dont have to worry about her whole character getting thrown to the wayside since her story's already over #now this is reminding me of the anime throwing ryogi away even tho his relationship with shikadai made me feral #just cuz that wasnt an arc in the manga!!! WHICH WAS STILL TOTALLY IN AN ERA OF THEM HAVING ALMOST NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER #thats what fuckin shoulda happened. the anime and manga should have stayed wildly different stories #i hate how all the original plots that the anime started with got shafted to follow the manga's story #ryogi didnt matter. KAGURA DIDNT FUCKING MATTER CUZ THEY KILLED HIM OFF LATER CUZ I GUESS I NON-MANGA CHARACTER DOESNT MATTER #FUCK OFF!!!!!!! #i hate it here. i fucking hate naruto. leave me alone i need to wallow. im going to wallow brb. i need a wallow sesh #personal

[poppyseed799]

Confession that will get me cancelled: I will sometimes reference super mario logan videos cuz I used to watch some. and they were honestly really funny if you ignored the problematic bits.

#I AM SO SORRY EVERYONE. but some of those jokes have stuck with me for years. #UNIRONICALLY THE EPISODES HAD A REALLY GOOD FORMULA. LIKE WTF. #I’m not getting over the episode where they were gonna fail the test but Cody let them copy his test #and then the teacher said ‘you did really great Cody!’ he said ‘I got an A?’ the teacher said ‘yeah on all 3 of them!’ #‘YOU IDIOTS COPIED MY N A M E TOO?????’ bro that was hilarious 😭😭😭 #also the episode where Junior believed the Sun was a planet. bro. the plot twist that they sent him to the sun not because they believed him #but because they thought a kid stupid enough to believe you could land on the sun deserved to be sent to it 😭😭😭 WTFF #there are some episodes I remembered really liking but I don’t remember why #and as much as I’d like to rewatch them I… don’t think I can…….. #I think if I went to rewatch old SML videos I’d be shot #also the journey to find the specific episodes would probably be a disaster #anyways that is my confession. I do not support SML or the problematic things in the episodes I liked. #it was just genuinely really funny and clever sometimes. unfortunately. I only watched it cuz my siblings did. side note all the special ed #kids in highschool loved it and I was confused cuz I was also a special ed kid who had seen it like. how did this ableist bs gain such an #autistic following. I’m telling you it’s because the episode formulas were actually really good. this sucks. I wish it wasn’t so problematic

[nulltune]

…I could put on airs like that, but with you it’s no good. You’re a typical, generic savior-type protagonist. Loved by the readers, loved by the characters, loved even by the plot. Boring. Short cuts aren’t my style. I can’t talk about you, and you don’t have enough value. 

this evaluation of hakuno's character (thanks hans christian andersen) and titles and roles............ really reminds me of the other side of the coin for hakuno's dilemma with being a nameless nobody– losing sight of yourself from taking on too many roles and names 🫠 it's pretty interesting though cuz i can see shades of it with hakuno too ! albeit in a very different way..

real quick tho YES I KNOW A LOT OF THIS IS JUST BECAUSE OF SELF INSERT PROTAG REASONS (DEROGATORY) 🥹 but hakuno deserves better than that!!! so i prefer 2 look at it in a different way 4 my hakuno 🫶

"hakuno" doesn't know herself, hakuno is useless, but she can do her best to fulfill whatever's expected from a role like the "leader" or "hero" that a situation might call for. hakuno can't find value in herself, so she tries to get it from others and fulfilling what they want and what they need. she's good at following guidelines for what's expected from others but lacks that for herself as an individual, if that makes sense.

it's a very integral part of hakuno's character! even when she doesn't understand how she feels, she's always thinking of others and acting with them in mind. but i gotta make it clear that she's no actor!! she's just stepping up to the job in her own way. i like 2 think of it as something like water filling the shape of the glass it's put into.

doing that and taking up whatever role she has to comes from necessity rather than hakuno wanting to be something bigger than herself. hakuno sees a problem that only she can fix, and is willing to do a lot in order to fix it. (<- what we see in canon too from fate/extra when she acts in the way of a "martyr" and in ccc when she takes on the role of being "president") whether she likes it or not isn't something she thinks about, but on a deep down, it's really just something she takes on to make up for her self-perceived flaws.

trying to fit into these roles could be an attempt to find herself too in a way..... hakuno's always been concerned about the meaning and purpose of her life, so she could try to find her own self worth in this way. she'll always think of it as titles that don't suit her though :,) cough impostor syndrome cough. i can imagine her trying become someone "worthy" of it, but she'll still feel undeserving in the end for one reason or another. it never feels enough, it never feels right, there's always going to be a sense of disconnect for her.

I can’t speak of something that isn’t there. Hakuno Kishinami. You still have nothing at all.

it's because she still doesn't know who she is </3 the lack of a personal identity that is so essential to being a person is something that just can't be fixed in this way. taking up roles and living up to others' expectations could maybe provide a temporary happiness or gratification for hakuno (via gaining affection and praise through being useful because that's something she's never had), but at the end of the day hakuno won't be satisfied with that. it's a shallow reasoning and even if she obtained the love she may have desired, it'd feel misplaced because it's a love that she got for being something that she feels like she isn't.

remember– all hakuno ever wanted was to live. she's a really simple gal! i'd say that at the moment, she's just grateful to have her basic survival needs met and still wants to find herself and become her own person, but she doesn't have any grand goals or ambitions. though she might not realize it herself, what she really wants is just a normal life tbh :,) live a normal life, die a normal death and afterwards, she'd want to be remembered as "hakuno kishinami" rather than a "hero" or "savior" or "protagonist" or any other grandiose title or role

#me being s*lty over h.akuno continuously being referred to literally everything other than Her Own Damn Name ? 😳 #more likely than u think ! #like COME ONNN that does her entire character arc so dirty 😭😭 r u srsly gonna avoid saying the name of the character who #wants to be more than a nameless nobody ???? whose entire character journey was abt finding her self?????? #also egad i really wanna know the thought process the writers had for this evaluation tho cuz like #'loved by the plot' YOU MEAN THE PLOT WHERE ALL SHE WANTS IS TO LIVE BUT SHE FINDS OUT SHE'S GOING TO DIE NO MATTER WHAT ? #'loved by the characters' YOU MEAN IN T.SUKIMIHARA WHERE LITERALLY EVERYONE HAS INSULTED/BELITTLED HER IN SOME WAY AT LEAST ONCE ? #i'm dumbo so maybe that is the point and they wanna set it up so that it's kinda ironic in that sense #but if so; then boy did it Not age well when they reduce h.akuno's character to what they wanted her to be a subversion of 😭 #GRR I HAVE SM TO SAY BUT YA I'LL STOP HERE #miss ma'am k.ishinami is just so interesting 2 me okie ............. sucks so bad to see her character get done dirty like this 💔 #&&. hcs

[hajidumps]

My reading comprehension has decreased throughout the years. I've been spoiled by ao3 and it's filtering system. I am weak and can only handle straight to the point fics with minimum plot.

#Our teacher gave us work in weekends #and it's a story #a very very boring story that i refuse to understand cuz im a spiteful shit that wont do homework #It has these questions n i cant answer shit #No plot only fluff #also my computer sucks ass cuz its lagging so much i couldn't even type a sentence

[buuuggaboo]

im currently re-watching mcd and writing down all of the lore in each episode and im starting to loose my mind a bit lmfao. Im only 17 episodes in and there’s already just so much,,, jesus. 

#°.✩┈{text post}┈✩.° #mcd #minecraft diaries #i dont even know why i'm doing this- cuz it's not like im gonna rewrite mcd #i dont have the patience to rewrite it lmfao but i do love this series #also side note but im shocked on how easy it was for me to get sucked back into the story? #ive only watched mcd once and that was allll the way back in elementary school #So I thought i wasn't gonna be able to get back into it fr but lokeyyy #say what you want to about jess and her writing skills but one things for sure she knows how to get u hooked into a plot #even if that plot is basic asf you'll still be invested #at least early days jess i cant speak to much on the more recent stories

[bsaka7]

i was actually reasonably productive at work today everyone clap

#It's cuz we were doing peer editing and I enjoy doing a bit of editing.... #also cuz like it's work so I don't rlly feel bad like. Totally changing stuff to make it not suck... #Okay an hour left of work. I could keep being productive or I could not do that and instead continue my lunch project #Which was. Um. Perhaps some. Plotting. On paper.... #Also the job I want got in contact yesterday and said they were still deciding #Which ig means it's Bw me and another person or they offered it and are waiting on a no #And I'm the second choice which has happened like 2x before and annoys me. #My coworker got a job today tho so that's rlly exciting!!!

[ssaalexblake]

Honestly i know i haven’t actually Watched anything past ep 5 of cm but uhhh Garcia being Like That is not ooc in my opinion... She is the Worst when it comes to personal And professional impropriety and is terrible at relationships, she doesn’t listen to rules and regulations, does shady controlling shit that has me going ‘okay jj’s whole reclusive and inflexible thing isn’t That bad really’ and can be just. Kind of mean? 

Relationships always bring out the worst in her, imo, so i’m like??? She’s not being portrayed well, no, but I can’t claim to think it’s a u-turn to her previous characterisation either if i’m being honest. 

#cm shit #this is both and also not a slam post #bc what she did with kevin and the hacking was fucked up beyond belief! #but other than That specific incident i kind of like that she sucks absolutely as a person in this area #so many quirky tech character are just. one dimensional. Especially if they're the sunshine one. that she is objectively kind of mean is #a nice take on it actually #and lbr while i do love her and luke i am hiding behind that shield #of the writers being honest and upfront about the no canon ships between team members rule #bc i Love luke and in reality i don't think he deserves this #cuz like... really... how she treated him wasn't actually acceptable at all lol like if he'd not been chill about it #she'd have been in deep shit for bullying at work #and like in fairness i've not actually Watched by people often miss how much of a jerk she is #*but not by #and i don't Not buy it #i mean i don't want to watch it bc it's tired as a plot device But #i don't not buy it as a creative choice

[greenvillainredemption]

I went to see a horror movie today, and one of the jumpscares hit so different that I think I pulled a muscle in my shoulder or chest or back?? It’s hard to describe exactly where the pain is. In the moment it felt like my heart was being squeezed, the way it does when I have panic attacks but like 100% worse and it only lasted a second. But throughout the rest of the day I haven’t been able to turn my head fully to either side or move my left arm much without my shoulder area convulsing and my heart feeling like it’s being squeezed again.

It’s probably nothing but I’m ✨paranoid✨ and don’t want y’all to have no closure about my fics if I die or something lol.

#my words #I’m like v scared of going to bed and not waking up #which sucks cuz of all times to die it’s a rare occasion where I’m not actively suicidal and actually have shit to look forward to #the movie was Smile btw it was v good except the ending was a let down #also it made me cry (like from emotions not scares) cuz the whole plot is this curse transfers through trauma #specifically the trauma or watching someone commit die #and like I’m pretty sure I mentioned here once that I tried to do that like 6ish years ago #wait maybe it was more than 6 years it was more like 8 wtf I have no sense of time #ANYWAY #what I didn’t mention was that it was in front of my whole family except my dad who wasn’t home #and like we don’t really talk about it and it kinda doesn’t feel real #it was probably traumatizing for them which obvs I wasn’t considering at the time because I was like a teenager and not in my right mind #it was kinda funny in the theatre cuz these other women behind me were like holding onto each other in fear while I’m just #in the front silently weeping in the face of my own trauma #so uh #how’s y’alls day been

[cinnabeat]

thinking about the rs arc in pokespe

#i really liked thr vibes going on in that arc #idk why #i want to say its when the stakes really went up a couple notches in the whole manga #it just felt more hmm. like the danger was well and truly real #i guess cuz rgby and gsc were more personal towards the drxholders #and in rs it was literally a world catastrophe lmao #and the split povs between ruby and sapphire was super interesting #i feel like the plot really kicked up a notch then you know? like characterization and alcharacter arcs and the complex plot #emerald is a good arc too but i like it more for emeralds characterization and development rather than the plot itself #cuz it piggy backed off of frlg which was ALSO good just cuz of the symbolism and metaphors and whatever the fuck #like the THEMES MAN omg so good #but yeah rs is by no means my fave arc nor the best one (thats bw for both) (not bw2 tho that sucked ass) #but rs is still like. i was gonna say second fave but thats actually dppt lmao so third fave #i havent really read xy but i heard it was good but i think the quality from blxy onwards sucked #or bw2 onwards sucked #i think bc theres literally a pokemon game every what 1 1/2 years? super unsustainable when ur trying to make a story out of the games #although sm was pretty interesting before i stopped reading #idk i guess it just started sucking more bc like. the coveted dexholder title is just no longer a thing #like they still get titles but having a pokedex just isnt special anymore which makes sense chronologically but at the same time its like #idk i just miss seeing old characters #like u know how percy jackson shows up in literally all the books whether hes plot relevant or not #i always joke about wanting him to rest but it IS nice to see him regardless and helping younger demigods #like i miss that about pokespe #like the original decholders stopped making appearances in main title arcs in dppt but their influence was still THERE you know? #idk how to articulate this properly #tldr i think writing quality has dropped and i feel awful for thinking that #michi tag

[eucalyptuspop]

#i miss drawing him so bad #i've been only posting old art cuz work is sucking me dry of all my energy -_- #also the pic is from a cn flash game btw #it has a little plot based on the movie #but after the bears fuck up with the citys energy nom nom shows up to help them raise money to fix the mess #its cute but also fucking unbelivable how a little flash game managed to make a better story than a full lenght movie i hate you daniel #you better lock your fucking doors!!!

[luvevee]

Ok I'm gonna bitch: I'm so tired of seeing "this sucks just bring back megas" spammed on everything when it comes to the new gen like holy shit let it go

#'um this new gimmick sucks because it's not megas' wow such a chad attitude #literally can anyone enjoy anything without like a bunch of guys spamming the same thing over and over again #also megas weren't that great js #'oh no i can't sweep this rando online with my mega lucario now they need to bring back megas' #honestly i feel like most of it's being said because now everyone can have an equal chance at battling online #like with tera everyone had a chance at getting a power boost and a cool look even if the last part isn't needed but it's cool #it's not just kept to a few ou's and some random pokemon here and there #and like what's the point of having mega in a game when you have to basically beat it just to mega certain ones because the stone's in post #literally the game it debuted in didn't even make it relevant to the plot like come on #megas aren't fun when it's only to a few select pokemon and when it takes forever to get to that point #'just use one that can mega' yeah hold on lemme just shake up my entire team for a gimmick i'll use maybe once cuz i don't want that mon #like dude i'm here to enjoy the game i'm not waiting forever to get the stone for the mega i want #also it makes sense lore-wise because now every pokemon can use it in its home region and not just a select few for aesthetic #'mega is a phenomenon' charizard got two megas that's all i need to say #also none of the kalos native pokemon got a mega yknow the region it was discovered in sooooo #thing is literally EVERYTHING is compared to megas and that's instantly what just annoys the hell out of me #'they look dumb but listen MEGA EVOLUTION-' yeah let's ignore alakazam on that one #like if it's not mega then so many guys get mad and just start spamming how it sucks #like i'm not saying people can't complain i mean that's what i'm doing rn #but when literally that whole complaint is based on one thing from 2013 and it's just 'this sucks cuz no mega' gets so old so fast #like it's fine to not be all for it but holy shit not everything is mega evolution #'my newborn didn't get a huge boost and some new hair extensions this sucks' vibes #and people saying 'it's cuz i love the game' REMEMBER MEWTWO'S SPEECH AND KAREN'S SPEECH YALL NEVER USE MEGA AUDINO #make using a weak mega the new thing and then maybe it'll get some leg to stand on #without ou's #dun dun duuuun #but yeah omg i'm just so tired of it #also don't take me seriously here i'm just bitching lol #personally i'm psyched for gen 9 and the tera feature #touches fuecoco: you will become a little crystal owo

[lesbiansanemi]

Okay so I finally watched the second half of wonder egg priority and finished it last night and like.... I am honestly super disappointed with it? Like the first half was genuinely so good! It had so much potential and I was loving it! But the second half was literally just plot twist after plot twist, none of which were properly built up or explained or actually aided the narrative imo. They just created more questions that weren’t properly answered, along with several other questions from the beginning of the series that weren’t properly answered either. Not to mention it didn’t really feel like anyone got a proper character arc (except maybe Ai, though hers still felt really rushed in the last couple episodes). Plus the ending was just.... unsatisfying? I’m not even upset that the girls they brought back to life didn’t remember them, that was fine and I actually liked that, but the main girls just stopped being friends and never went back to the dream world to get any answers to their questions? (Until Ai in like the last minute of the last episode anyways). Like.... idk, I just think it had a lot of potential, but instead of capitalizing on that potential, the writers decided to try making it even more complicated and kinda ruined what the series originally set up..... kinda sucks

#and I’m upset cuz like damn..... I really wanted to like it #I thought the horror element was really cool #and even the drama element kept me engaged and usually that kinda stuff doesn’t #I also liked the way all the super intense subject matter was handled (ie the suicides obviously but even rika’s cutting #and the girls who were abused or SAed was done well for the most part idk....) #the writers just dropped the ball so hard when it came to the overarching plot and character development #which sucks because that was a series that DESPERATELY needed top tier character development to really hit home #it wasn’t one that could rely solely on plot it was fundamentally a character driven story #but it’s like they forgot that halfway through..... #idk anyways wanted to like it and am rather disappointed with it #wonder egg priority #kaz rambles

[anotheruntitledsong]

i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty

#the golem and the jinni #i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP' #but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is #his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved #which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to #when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change! #and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni #but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him #and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich #what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about) #emotional connection to the jinni in a human way #which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend #(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf) #anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead #BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need #but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart) #which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife #it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me #arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it #if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation #BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him #alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that #although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia #so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE) #BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me #The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are #could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE #im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle #the hidden palace