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halfagone · 1 year

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HEHEHEHE DPxDC AU [Insert character of choice] joins as a contestant of The Bachelor/Bachelorette as a joke. Instead they fall in love with one of the cameramen, Danny Fenton (or! one of the counselors, Jazz Fenton). They want to drop out, since they don't have feelings for the lead, but producers force them to leave the show in the most dramatic way possible first to drive up viewership. And oh, do they plan to deliver. >:3

#dpxdc #dpxdc au #dpxdc prompt #this is crack treated seriously #if you couldn't tell

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byler-barista-anon · 2 years

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bonjour hon hon c'est le french byler anon

can mike speak french in your opinion? or is he just terrible at learning all languages? and would will ever considering getting a pet turtle?

merci!!

is this the same person that sent me that fake “chicken anon” ask on my main 🤨 i’m suspicious of you french anon, if that’s even your real name 🤨

i’m still going to treat this ask seriously regardless bc it’s unhinged and funny 😁

mike wouldn’t know the first thing abt the french language, let alone any other language. bro can barely speak english correctly because his brain is too full of rocks and he’s always busy staring at wills lips to speak or like pay attention to anything ever, he’s got heart eyes, and heart eyes only

will, however, would know french! or he’d at least be learning it and eventually become fluent in it

now as for if will would have a pet turtle, he would !! and he’d name it franklin reginald, ik because he told me himself

#byler barista anon #byler #ask bba #no one try and figure out what my main is from this #ssshhhh #you saw nothing #you remember nothing #if you do i’ll send the byler wizard to erase your memory #headcanons #this is crack treated seriously #anongate

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mysteriouslypinkconnoisseur · 1 year

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I have binged parts 4 & 5 of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures this past two weeks and just. Wow.

CORRECTION: I had assumed Netflix labeled them properly. I actually meant Parts 5 & 6

#why didn’t I start from the beginning? simple. jolyne cujoh #everything is so ridiculous yet it works bc it doesn’t suspend my disbelief for the story #this IS crack treated seriously #everyone is buff and slutty in a distinctly queer way #also I love the thought put into each and every stand #it makes every fight a challenge and I adore it #currently watching part 2 then I will go to part 3 #but jolyne cujoh my beloved #jojos bizarre adventure

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bgthree · 6 days

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Shadowheart, unblinking, staring at Tav across the campfire because everyone knows they snuck off with Astarion after the tiefling party last night: does fucking a vampire count as necrophilia?

Everyone: *freezes*

Gale: *drops his big spoon into the breakfast pot, spattering some on Lae’zel*

Wyll: *startled coughing fit*

Halsin: *genuinely considering the question*

Karlach: *whispering to Wyll* what is necrophilia? does that mean, like, a thing about necks, or, what…?

Tav: I…I think I need to go lie down.

Astarion, returning from his morning hunt a few moments later, emerging from the woods and taking in the strained camp-mosphere: why is everyone being weird? who died?

Lae’zel, still angrily cleaning herself off: you

Gale: *drops his spoon again, seconds after successfully fishing it out the first time*

#this is the worst thing I’ve ever written #bg3 crack treated seriously #astarion x tav #bg3 #baldurs gate three #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 shitpost #tav #Astarion #Shadowheart #Gale #Lae’zel #Wyll #Halsin #Karlach #tiefling party

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ominouspuff · 4 months

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Repurposing GAR armor towards the end of pulverizing wrinkly Sith

— A guide by CC-1010, ecstatically-ex-marshal commander of Coruscant

A what-if au featuring the Corries pulling all-nighters fueled on caf alone to study republic law, Fox providing his own dubious legal representation resulting in the wildest civil court case in Republic history, and, they can only pray, formidable and clandestine cooperation within GAR high command’s clone contingents via a small-scale GAR-approved candy brand

#fan art #star wars fanart #artists on tumblr #star wars: the clone wars #commander fox #fix it au #ish #It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better AU #rebel!Fox #Implied (because the artist says so and has hc’s): Rebel!GAR #crack treated seriously #Repurposing GAR Armor AU

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ghost-bxrd · 6 months

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Prompt:

Jason, upon coming back to Gotham and seeing how neglected Tim is, breaks into Drake manor and drags Tim by the collar over to Wayne manor and kicks down the door, yelling for Bruce.

“IT’S THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST, BITCH! AND IT WANTS WORDS WITH YOU!”

#prompts #actually that would be fun to write for actual Christmas #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #red hood #Tim drake #enemy to caretaker #batbros #crack treated seriously

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s0fter-sin · 14 days

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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing

and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him

he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)

meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh

just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap

soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”

imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”

#he a little confused but he got the spirit #its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right #or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it #i love just completely oblivious ghost #in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room #he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone #but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost #ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like #bc hes never seen a pussy before #it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to #hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say #then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis #but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes #and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

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spacebubblehomebase · 1 month

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Shit post!

Don't take this too seriously, but LMAO XD. -Bubbly💙

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thatdeadaquarius · 2 months

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PowerPoint night with the genshin cast ✨

NO BC I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX AND I WAS FROTHING AT THE MOUTH WITH TOO MANY IDEASSS, the energy is just this:

You introduce the wonderful concept of powerpoints, then a powerpoint night and you should expect absolute chaos

Mondstadt over here like,

"Why I Deserve Wine:

I am a god

I am YOUR god, give me offerings duh

(insert conclusion here)"

by Venti, he didn't even both filling out some slides, and they're all just plain text with maybe a nice selfie of himself on the first slide lmao

STOP, DILUC'S POWERPOINT BEING A 40 SLIDE PRESENTATION RESPONSE TO VENTI'S AHALKSJ

or better yet, Creator!You version:

"An Explanation of Why the One Above Us All Would Enjoy Living in Liyue During Their Stay Here" by Zhongli, which takes approx. 4+ hours to get thru, and its his case for why u should stay in Liyue Harbor - half the ppl there are actually paying attention and the other half are fast asleep (u included)

Meanwhile Yae Miko trying to stir the pot like, "Which Vision-User, God, or Nation is Our Ruler's Favorite" 💀

Also another presentation that would make several ppl give response presentations and it just becomes: HER SISTER WAS A WITCH BRO = THE CREATOR LIKES SUMERU MORE BRO

CRYING- people like Zhongli, Albedo, Alhaitham, Xingqiu, Neuvillette, Xiao, Sucrose, Jean, Ei/Raiden Shogun, Faruzan all misunderstanding and thinking u actually want a real presentation from them 😭😭

ngl all the Sumeru/Akademiya/Fontaine characters have probably gotten somewhat close to doing some kind of equivalent to this, mostly bc ppl will debate abt the stupidest stuff over there so they get it, wonder if they made drinking games out of it lol

(first question from Sumeru characters is "what is powerpoint night, and why has Alhaitham probably already won it")

pls im so braindead rn there are ENDLESS possibilities for this, if anyone has more I am LISTENING!!!

Safe Travel 0rah,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko

@kiyomi-uchiha777

#genshin sagau #sagau #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #my asks #aqua asks #aqua rambles #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #crack post tbh #crack treated seriously #u know i think i shouldve been using that tag for a long time now and i haven't 💀#tysm orah u keep me going ur IDEASS

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ragsforless · 1 month

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Dune crack!au (1)

Paul: May thy knife chip and shatter-

Feyd: *starts singing* 🎶In another life, I would be your girl🎶

Paul: What?

Feyd: 🎶We keep all our promises, be us against the world🎶

Paul: I’m so confused right now.

Irulan: And I’m recording this.

Feyd: 🎶In another life, I would make you stay🎶

Chani: NGL, he has a great voice.

Stilgar: True.

Irulan: *is still recording* You’re doing great, Feyd!

Paul: Shouldn’t we be fighting-

Chani: Shush, Paul! Let him finish.

Paul: But-

Feyd: 🎶So I don't have to say you were the one that got away, The one that got away🎶

Paul:. . .

Jessica:. . .

Feyd: So how’s my singing?😀

Chani: I approve! You’re going to be our concubine number 2!

Feyd: Nice.

Irulan: Oh, great. A new roommate.

Stilgar: As written.

Paul: What?!

Jessica: I did not see that coming.

Mohiam: I did.

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mothcpu · 5 months

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Do you think Hal (Homestuck) and Mirage would get along or would she call his taste in anime shit and he'd cry.

they'd get along eventually

#ask #ULTRAKILL #homestuck #my blog is a 100% “crack treated seriously" zone sorry if you were looking for a shitpost response #id in alt #mirage

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chiquitafresa · 2 months

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STATICAPPLE NATION YOU ALIVE?!?

Forget to add this to my last post so here you go! might make more of them if I don’t see an increase for them, not ending my other ship art just adding to them.

favorite crack ship frfr ❤️❤️❤️

#vox fanart #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #fanart #vox hazbin hotel #Lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #staticapple #lucifer fanart #lucifer hazbin hotel fanart #crack ship #crack post #crack treated seriously

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halfagone · 6 months

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Here's a Pure Crack idea:

For one reason or another, Jack and Maddie get divorced. They end their marriage on mostly amicable terms, but it's no secret things are a little awkward now. To make the process easier, Jack agrees to live somewhere else temporarily until Maddie can figure out where she wants to go. Jack gets to keep Fenton Works in the divorce agreement. He ends up staying with Vlad for a time, because Vlad thinks he can use this to break down Jack's confidence and humiliate him. This does not happen. Instead, the next thing they know, they're in a relationship and later on, elope.

Meanwhile, Maddie got full custody of Danny (Jazz was already an adult by this point) and decided to move them out to Gotham City. Where she meets the illustrious billionaire Bruce Wayne. The two fall in love and then eventually get engaged.

A party is held in Gotham and Vlad Masters is invited, so of course he has to bring his new husband along. Bruce obviously has to attend too. He is called Prince of Gotham after all.

Jack and Maddie are now meeting each other again, possibly for the first time since Maddie moved out.

Somewhere in the distance, Danny is sobbing.

#dpxdc #dpxdc prompt #migrating this over from discord #i am on my crack treated seriously era

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chaoticace2005 · 2 months

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Random short of Alastor’s shadow being done with his shit and becoming friends with our favorite losers. ( @xxqueenofdragonsxx @downthegenderriver )

Shadowstor was tired.

So tired.

Contrary to popular belief shadows COULD get tired. And Shadowstor was aware of that early on.

Okay… to be fair most shadows probably can’t get tired. Because most shadows can’t feel.

But Shadowstor was an exception. Because the very reason for it’s exhaustion is the same reason it can think to begin with.

Alastor.

Not the Radio Demon. Because Alastor himself isn’t the Radio Demon, no. Shadowstor helped with that. Helped more than it gets credit for (which is virtually none because of how Alastor likes to posture himself.)

And that’s fine, really. Shadowstor is a shadow for fucks sake. It isn’t made for being directly in the spotlight. Alastor is and Shadowstor fades into the background, being obscured with the focus on it’s counterpart.

The thing that does get Shadowstor exhausted though is the fact that Alastor has the tendency of being an impulsive idiot.

Now, don’t get Shadowstor wrong, Alastor is definitely a large part of why the Radio Demon has a reputation as an unhinged, powerful, scary individual. Shadowstor helped with the powers though, but really it thinks its greatest contribution was the fact that this means the Radio Demon now has some semblance of impulse control.

Alastor may not listen to anyone. But it’s usually kind of hard not to hear out a literal manifestation and source of your powers.

Usually. Because Alastor will still start a fight with pretty much anyone. He’ll go on the air and mock Vox for his crush. He’ll say ducks are an overrated animal right in front of Lucifer. He’ll 1v1 the literally first man. He’ll call Susan’s blouse tacky.

And all Shadowstor can usually do is sit back and watch. Because it’s bound to help Alastor. Bound to be part of the Radio Demon. But that doesn’t stop it from being exhausted every single time Al does start something.

One thing though about being tied to Alastor is you get to know others who are tied to Alastor. Others who are equally exhausted by Alastor.

Husk.

The Bar Cat was one being Shadowstor could relate to on a deep level. Because Shadowstor has to put up with the ineptness of Alastor. But Husk has to put up with the ineptness of Alastor and everyone else.

It’s because of this when Alastor is sleeping (which, despite Angel Dust’s verbal doubts on the matter does happen, Alastor isn’t an all powerful being, despite how much he pretends to be,) Shadowstor sometimes will go out, going downstairs to the bar that is usually only occupied by the Cat-Demon waiting from his not-boyfriend to come home.

(Sexual and romantic feelings are so weird. Relationships are so weird and Shadowstor is glad it doesn’t have to deal with that.)

After a particularly tiring day of Alastor trying to break into the Vees tower and destroy Vox’s body pillow of him, Shadowstor was exhausted. It had pretty much given up on trying where Vox was involved, because Alastor seemed to get particular joy out of taunting the TV, but it still felt like it had to try. At this point it was a matter of principle. It had fought with Alastor on this for years and it was not stopping to just let him win.

“Oh, my dear, you worry too much.” He said to Shadowstor before merging with it into the shadows and traveling across the city.

Fifteen minutes later Shadowstor had to rush them out if there because Vox had installed a shark filled moat around his office. Which Shadowstor had seen but Alastor walked right into. Because apparently “radio demon” powers extend to wresting sharks in the water (it does NOT.)

So now Alastor was asleep after pretending he had totally-not-been chewed up by some demon-sharks. And Shadowstor went downstairs to the bar.

“You too, huh?” Husk said to it, seeming to notice right when the shadow crossed with threshold. Working with the Radio Demon for years would get a person skilled at picking up changes in shadows quickly.

Shadowstor just nodded and slumped against the wall, putting its hands to its head.

The winged cat nodded in agreement, “I’ll drink to that.” He said as he took a half-full whiskey bottle and chugged it.

Shadowstor wished it could drink.

“What was it this time? Lucifer’s ducks again?”

The shadow shook its head and flat, vertically-aligned hand on top of it, making the sign for “shark.”

“Oh. Vox. Do I even want to know?”

Shadowstor shook its head again because no, Husk really didn’t. It doesn’t even want to start to think about the Alastor-Body-Pillow. Or the Alastor shrine. Or the Alastor fanfiction it found (which Vox should be lucky that Alastor didn’t find that because otherwise there’d be another broken TV screen in this hotel.)

Right then a beaten up pink spider burst through the hotel doors, going right to a stool in the bar and crashing onto it.

“Tough night?” Husk asked, already handing his not-boyfriend a drink that had been prepared even before Shadowstor arrived.

“You know it. Fuckin’ Val.”

Husk made a sound to show he was listening.

“Apparently Vox was pissed today. So that meant Val was pissed today.”

Oh… oops?

Okay, to be fair, if Vox is pissed at Alastor that isn’t really Shadowstor’s fault. It tried to stop him.

The shadow made a face palm again at its counterpart’s need to harass every single person he came into contact with.

“Wha- Smiles?”

Alastor’s here?! Wait… no he isn’t. Cause Shadowstor is here. And Shadowstor would know if Al woke up.

Oh… the spider demon is staring right at it.

Shadowstor shook its head, a bit annoyed at the idea of being confused with that impulsive buffoon.

“Huh? Husk, what—“

“That’s Alastor’s shadow.”

Shadowstor waved.

“Alastor’s what?”

“Shadow? You know? The thing that goes around with him. Helps with his powers. I’m sure he’s manifested it in front of you before.”

“Oh… yeah. So it’s just… here? Where’s Al?”

Shadowstor made the sign for sleeping.

“Sleeping.” Husk translated.

“What? How?!”

“His shadow can leave when Alastor isn’t conscious or controlling it.”

“No. I mean how did you get that from that?!” Angel says as he motions back over to Shadowstor which… rude.

“I know sign language.”

“You know WHAT?!”

“Sign language.”

“Jesus Whiskers, how many languages do you know?”

“Well there’s Russian, Spanish—“

“Wait. No. Back to the point. Alastor’s shadow just comes down here sometimes and talk to you?”

“…yeah?”

“About what?”

Shadowstor just makes one sign with as much as exhaustion as it can.

“Alastor.”

“Al— wait,” Angel laughs, “even Smiles’ shadow has a problem with him?!”

Shadowstor starts signing to explain the exact issue it faces with Alastor, Husk working to translate while Angel just nods in response.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe a fucking shadow has some oftha same shitty boss troubles as me.”

Shadowstor gives a shake and growl at that. Because Alastor isn’t it’s boss. It can see Husk about to translate before Angel cuts in.

“Oh… not your boss.”

Shadowstor nods.

“…so you’re like… you’re own person?”

Shadowstor shrugs because who knows. It wasn’t sentient before Alastor but it sure as hell is now.

“… you got a name?”

And Shadowstor pauses because no. It’s just Alastor’s shadow. For as long as it’s been around it’s never had a name. Alastor never deemed that necessary.

“Husk? Does it?” Angel asks when Shadowstor won’t answer which- hey it’s still right here. It can talk for itself. Or respond anyways.

“I don’t… think so?”

Angel turns back to Shadowstor.

“Do ya want one? Like… if you’re separate from Alastor shouldn’t you have a name that isn’t just ‘his shadow.’”

The shadow thinks for a second before slowly nodding, intrigued by this novel idea.

“What about… Tom?”

Tom?

“Tom?” Husk asks.

“Fuck. Fine, what about… Dusk? Cause y’a know shadows and darkness and stuff…”

Dusk… Dusk… it likes that.

Dusk nods and it can see the spider demon smile.

“Sweet. Nice ta meetya Duskie- oh wait. Duskie… Husky! Aw ya rhyme!”

Dusk can see Husk roll his eyes, and that just makes it even more comfortable in its decision.

—Later—

“So, you’re only able to really move around at night? When Al is asleep?”

Dusk nods.

“…Husk, what do you think Lucifer and Vox would say about moving our ‘Fuck Alastor’ meetings to nighttime?”

Oh. Oh Dusk likes this one.

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super-who-locked-me-in-here · 4 months

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Imagining Hannigram being bored so Will suggests they play fuck marry kill

~~~

Hannibal, extremely seriously: I would kill everyone.

Will: I haven't even told you who your choices are.

Hannibal: It doesn't matter. They aren't you. I don't want to marry or make love to anyone else. So I will kill them.

Will: Okay but what if I was one of the options?

Hannibal: Smash

Will, confused: What do you even mean, "smash"?

Hannibal, proud of himself: It means I would take you to bed with me. The other option is pass.

Will: No I know that. I'm asking how you know that.

Hannibal, suddenly avoiding eye contact: I might remind you that I spent a great amount of time as the only person Abigail could interact with.

Will, triggered: Oh okay but did she teach you about Smash or Pass: Pillow Version? Yeah it's a fun time where I smash this ostentatious throw pillow into your face and continue to do so until you pass out and die.

Hannibal, desperately trying to change the subject: My darling beloved dearest would you not choose to... fuck me... Or marry me instead? Be my husband?

Will: I'm going to give you a five second head start

Hannibal, who has come to learn the difference between Will's "I'm going to give you scars because I'm the only one who can" righteous fury and his "I am going to carve out your heart and put it down the fucking garbage disposal" threatening anger, understanding its the latter and already halfway out the front door: I'll be back to make you dinner my love

~~~

I imagine Will does let him back into the house without killing him after that but he makes Hannibal sleep on the $30,000 antique sofa that he bought for aesthetics and not comfort that night, and in the morning when Hannibal wakes up incredibly sore and somewhat regretful, Will offers to massage his back.

Of course Hannibal is like "omg affection from Will" and takes him up on it and so he lays out on the bed and feels Will straddle his thighs to do the massage and he's expecting warm gentle hands and then he feels the chill of one of his scalpels against the side of his neck and Will whispers to him "don't ever. bring up any of my children again."

And then Will does the massage and it turns into an event because Hannibal was just a little bit scared by Will's threats but also extremely turned on by them.

#crack treated seriously #?#hannibal #hannibal crack #hannigram #murder husbands #fuck marry kill #smash or pass

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unorthodoxx-page · 2 months

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I need to stop treating crack seriously. enjoy this short Hazbin Hotel/ROTTMT crossover. I won't blame you for jumping ship 😂

Redemption

Summary:

In Leo’s defense, he’s operating on this being one huge, cosmic, colossal mistake. A joke even, who’s to say that the Almighty doesn’t have a sense of humor? At the very least it’s an overreaction. _ Or, Heaven is really really hard to get into.

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #fanfiction #crossover #fanfic #hazbin hotel #ao3fic #ao3 writer #crack fic #crack treated seriously #tmnt donatello #donatello #rise donatello #donnie #leo #leonardo #rottmnt leonardo #tmnt leonardo

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