#this is exactly how lwj got his way as a kid

[gentil-minou]

Lanuary Day 16 - Dadji (featuring new foster kid Mo Xuanyu)

(warning, this was meant to be a quick thought but spiraled so is rougher than normal sdjfhs)

Xuanyu keeps getting into fights in school, coming home all bruised up and angry, running straight to his room.

He's only been with them for a couple weeks, but it's not going well. He ran out of the last social worker's appointment, who only shook his head at Xuanyu's new foster parents.

"He always does that. Just barges out. This will be his fifth placement. Sorry, just…just try your best till we figure out what to do with him."

Lan Wangji resists the urge to bare his teeth at the social worker.

A social worker who treats their charge like a sack of flour meant passed from one person to the next. But of course it's wwx, who's has experienced something far too similar when he was a kid, who snaps at the social worker.

They resolve to keep Xuanyu as long as they can, and to ignore every one of the social worker's words.

But Xuanyu doesn't make it easy. He fights, he yells. When A-Yuan, they're adoptive 5-yo son, tries to play, Xuanyu rebuffs him. He's only 12 years old, but his words spit like fire and he seems to want to burn everything they touch.

At first, wwx steps up to the plate, determined. He'd gone through all this himself, of course he'd be most suitable for it. It was his idea to foster after all, so he's sure he can try.

But everything he does, every offer to go outside and kick rocks, every attempt to watch a movie, even just sitting outside the kid's door trying to show him he's there, nothing seems to work.

And wwx starts to wonder if the reason he passed from foster to foster was because of his own shitty behavior. If maybe he's not cut out for this. If broken things can only break, never fix.

It takes a toll on his health, and though he never gives up, lwj can see the bags beneath his eyes grow as his nightmares return.

lwj, admittedly, was the most apprehensive of this in the first place. he's not exactly the healthiest one of the bunch, so how could he possibly help.

And Xuanyu won't speak. He won't join them for meals or tell them anything about him. How can lwj help if he doesn't know what to do?

Then he comes home from work one day to find Xuanyu playing hooky alone at home, going through wwx's makeup.

He's got like a deer in headlights, terrified. His mouth open and shuts though all that escapes are shuddered breaths. A tattered photograph is clenched in his hands.

"I—I—…" Xuanyu stammers, but he bolts from the room before lwj can so much as blink.

lwj hears the front door slam and rattle its hinges.

Makeup lies strewn across the vanity. Bottles spilled and knocked over in Xuanyu's haste to escape. Liquid eyeliner trickles down the side, staining the carpet. Next to the stain is the crumpled photograph Xuanyu held in his hand.

lwj's intelligence has always rated above average, but it doesn't take a genius to recognize the resemblance between Xuanyu and the woman in the photo. His mother.

The social worker spoke of Xuanyu's mother with condescension, painting her as a woman perpetually under the influence raising a boy in the backseat of a used sedan as she made money in the worst way possible. That she'd died abandoning her son selfishly for the sake of one more high. His face sneered derisively as he'd spat those words out.

But the woman in the photograph lwj holds, though sickly and a little wane, is smiling with a baby in her arms. She's looking at the camera, dressed in rags while her chilld's clothes are brand new.

Her hands cradle the baby to her chest, and a light in her eyes reminds lwj of another mother, gone far too young, leaving behind a child even younger.

And he thinks, for a moment he thinks he might understand. Xuanyu a little more than he'd thought.

He waits for wwx to return with a-yuan from the daycare in case xuanyu comes back first before he heads out, not one, but two old photos tucked safely in his breastpocket.

It's an hour of slow driving through the neighborhood when he finds Xuanyu. Hidden in alleyway behind a convenience store nibbling a a honey bun, he rocks back and forth. He shivers in the cold, wearing one of the old shirts he'd brought with him from his previous placement instead of the new clothes they'd bought him. All of Xuanyu's clothes are old, older and barely fit.

lwj wonders what it's like to go from one home to the next, looked at with pity. Hearing someone slander a woman they never met, who you knew and loved and lost. How tainted gifts from them must be, spoiled by poisonous whispers.

He thinks, once again, maybe he might understand.

Xuanyu doesn't run away this time when lwj drapes a jacket over his shoulders and sits next to him, offering him a carton of milk freshly purchased. He does choke on a a bite of his honey bun and narrows his eyes at the milk like it's poison.

lwj opens the carton and waits.

xuanyu coughs again before he finally accepts. it's a while longer before he speaks. "I didn't steal it," he says, holding up his empty honey bun wrapper. "A lady gave me money when she walked by."

"Mn," lwj replies, mentally adding honey buns to the weekly shopping list.

Xuanyu draws his legs towards his chest and rests his forehead against his knees. He's not looking at anything when he says, "…Are you gonna kick me out?"

"No, we will not kick you out," lwj replies simply.

Xuanyu shrugs, but when he shoulders fall they seem a bit lighter.

"The last one did when they caught me. Said they wanted a boy not a pansy."

"They were out of line," lwj states, "wei ying enjoys wearing make up. he would be happy to teach. I am less proficient but a willing demonstrative subject."

A muffled laugh escapes from the huddled bundle next to him, followed by an intake of breath, like lwj wasn't supposed to hear that. xuanyu's shoulders stiffen again, the telltale sign of someone running away lwj knows well from all the times wwx would bolt if confronted by something he was not yet ready to face.

before xuanyu can move, lwj retrieved the photos from his pocket.

he makes sure to hand over the photo of his own mother carrying a small lwj.

xuanyu is silent as he looks at it. unlike xuanyu's resemblance to his mother, lwj hardly inherited any of his mother's features. he wonders if he can tell that the woman wearing a hospital gown in a yard surrounded by concrete walls that block the sky is lwj's mother.

"I was not permitted to see her very often," he says before xuanyu can ask. "I was told she was 'unfit for caregiving.' So I saw her once a month."

"Oh."

lwj hands him back the photo of xuanyu's mother. he'd tried to straighten it earlier, but some of the crinkles run deep. if permitted, he will make another copy on something stronger than printer paper.

"Yeah well. That guy told you what happened to my mom so…that's that."

"He told me, yes. But I would much rather prefer to hear what you have to say."

Xuanyu turns wide eyes at him. In the dim alley light coming from the street, they appear almost grey. They shake as they dart between lwj's, as if looking for a catch.

"You….really? You would?"

"Mn."

Xuanyu hands lwj back his photo, keeping his own in his. As he speaks, tears fall to rest on his mother's face. Refraction along the droplet makes her face shine.

"She liked doing make up with me, when her hands weren't shakey. She said I was prettier than her. That one day I'd grow up and be the prettiest person in the world." He takes in a deep, stuttering breath.

"But I always told her she was the prettiest. That in the future we'd walk down the street together and everyone would call us twins. But she never said anything, she just smiled.

"I think…I think she knew when it was going to happen. I think she tried. I dont, I don't believe what they said. I dont think she'd just leave me like that if she could. I don't—they keep telling me I'm supposed to hate her but I don't—I don't. I don't and I can't and I won't"

His heaves turn to sobs, and he drops his forehead back onto his knees. lwj wraps an arm around his shoulders, a warm and comforting hold.

"No one can tell you how to feel," lwj says, and he thinks for a second of a little boy kneeling at his door waiting to see a mother who would never again see him. "You simply do."

And xuanyu turns his head onto lwj's shoulder, and he cries and he cries until the sun sets and a pale white moon takes to the sky.

little by little, he begins to open up. wwx does his make up, and they go for a movie. a-yuan shows xuanyu his dolls and together they play. they find xuanyu a professional to talk to, and each day he smiles more and more. they pull him out of the school into another one, where bullying lgbtq is taken more seriously.

lwj buys him a brand new skirt for his first day and he shines.

one year later, with a small gathering of their little family, they sign the adoption papers and make it official

and in the hallway next to xuanyu's room, sits a brand new photo of him and his mother printed on glossy printer paper, right between the photos of lwj and wwx with their parents and a brand new photo of the four of them, beaming bright at the camera.

(threadfic here)

a/n - i do want to make a note because i work with social workers and foster kids with complex trauma history and their families, and i can say with experience that while the system is not perfect, many of the people involved are someone of the kindest most loving people in the world. while i'm sure social workers like the one portrayed here exist, but i can say that the ones i've had the pleasure to work with really are trying to give those who need it the best life they can. so yeah.

#lol i meant it to be quick but if you let me talk about wangxian foster family i will never shut up #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #lan sizhui #lanuary #lanuary 2024 #mdzs musings #mdzs fanfiction #bushy writing #lan wangji #lan zhan #mo xuanyu

[lansplaining]

ok let’s do it: Mo Dao Zu Shi, the Musical! 

some disclaimers: this is an attempt to fit a story that is patently not an anglo american musical theatre shaped story into that structure, so there is aggressive and deliberate compression of storylines to make it fit that shape. this is almost certainly, objectively, a worse version of the story. i was interested in experimenting not with how a totally open-ended, free range musical structure where everyone gets a song and leitmotif and an arc could be used to tell the story, but how the story could be transplanted into this very constrained narrative form. and this is what i’ve got (with links, where applicable, to the songs that inspired each idea) 

Opening Number: “The Fall of the Yiling Patriarch.” Good news! He’s dead! We learn about the wicked Wei Wuxian and his Yin Tiger Tally through the ensemble’s celebration of his death. We hear the first strains of our Jiang Cheng theme as he is described as the hero who killed the Patriatch-- maybe. There are a lot of versions of the story. Before dissent can turn into fighting, 3zun emerge as the voices of peace, painting a picture of the bright future now that WWX is gone. Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji enter to triumphant celebrations of their role in his downfall. But before it can get much farther-- Lan Wangji suddenly interrupts, insisting everyone has the story wrong. Lan Xichen pulls him aside and tries to talk him down, to no avail, and as Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue rouse the ensemble up into celebration again to cover, Lan Wangji tries to make his voice heard as the Lan force him away. 

Scene One. 13 Years Later. Wei Wuxian (in Mo Xuanyu’s body) wakes up in a forest to the whispering of Jin seniors, who are laughing at poor, stupid Mo Xuanyu, who clearly tried to cast some kind of array and failed. They mock and bully him, then lose interest and wander off to get to work on the night hunt they’re here to undertake. WWX is affronted: don’t they know who he is? This kicks off the number: “I Guess I’m Back,” a montage-like number that carries us all the way through the scene.  In this first phase, he works out the spell MXY was trying to cast, and reflects on the bad reputation that made MXY choose him. He reckons he’s meant to get revenge on those Jin seniors, and resolves to do it as quickly as possible in order to retreat from the cultivation world, explaining some of his tricks to the audience in the process. The song recurs as he realizes this night hunt is an absolute minefield of the exact people he needs to avoid: first encountering Jin Ling, then catching a glimpse of Jiang Cheng, then the arrival of the Lan juniors. He starts to leave the juniors to squabble, one of the Jin boasting about a mysterious new spiritual device he has, when said Jin in fact releases (what we will learn is) the cursed arm spirit. WWX doesn’t want to get involved, but can’t leave these kids to die, and summons Wen Ning. This brings a convergence of everyone WWX has been actively trying to avoid, notably Jiang Cheng and the first appearance of Lan Wangji. The song culminates in WWX accepting what he’s trying to avoid: he’s back, and that means he can’t escape his old enemies. Then he passes out. 

Scene Two. WWX wakes up and realizes he’s in Cloud Recesses. His initial response is panic, but he’s interrupted by ghosts of the past, younger versions of WWX, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli passing through. WWX muses about whether an additional ghost will appear-- but instead it’s the man himself: Lan Wangji. He asks WWX to take a look at the cursed arm, and WWX demurs, asking whether the illustrious Lan would really want the perspective of a random junior cultivator. LWJ makes it clear he knows exactly who WWX is, but refuses to explain how. WWX agrees to go, but lingers to see a last memory: his younger self teasing a young LWJ. 

LWJ summons the arm and it immediately nearly overpowers them. They realise it’s pointing somewhere, and put together that someone must have deliberately given it to the Jin cultivator. LWJ suggests they follow where it leads, but WWX can’t resist teasing Wangji: “Is That A Rule?” (this structure meets this energy). In counterpoint with their younger selves, WWX asks whether the prim and proper Hanguang-jun will really go tearing off across the countryside with a supposedly-dead criminal, while their younger selves argue over WWX’s constant rule-breaking. They set off. 

Scene Three. We find ourselves in a city street with Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng. The latter sends Jin Ling to stay in an inn while he tries to find Mo Xuanyu. Jin Ling sulks about how great things will be “When I’m The Hero” (every Disney princess song ever). His uncle and father, he sings, fought a war when they were his age, and he’s not allowed to do anything. His uncle is obsessed with finding Wei Wuxian, and even though Jin Ling doesn’t believe he’s alive, if he is, he’ll prove himself by getting revenge for his mother’s death. As the song concludes, he spots LWJ and WWX passing through. He hides and overhears their conversation: the arm has led them this way, and they’ve heard rumors of a man-eating tomb in the forest-- surely that’s where it wants them to go. Jin Ling sees a chance for excitement and adventure, and hurries off to beat them there. 

Scene Four. LWJ and WWX arrive at the supposed man-eating tomb, and find it’s definitely where the arm was leading them. Their arrival seems to awaken the corpses-- and Jin Ling, who is being pulled into their ranks, but is intermittently sufficiently aware of himself to try and fight back. As they fight, LWJ and WWX are able to spot the legs that match the arm, sewn onto a different body. They subdue the corpses and free Jin Ling, but LWJ spots a shadowy figure retreating into the trees. He follows, and as WWX waits for Jin Ling to wake up, Jiang Cheng appears. Cue “Promises,” a Confrontation-style number where Jiang Cheng-- with a full return of the theme music introduced for him in the opening number-- demands answers for what WWX has done. We see the images of their younger selves as Jiang Cheng asks why he betrayed the clan, why he killed their sister, why he never came home. WWX can’t answer. Jin Ling wakes, and just as he does, Jiang Cheng likewise hears a commotion in the trees. He orders JL to guard WWX and goes off to investigate. JL immediately tells WWX that he can go-- he wants to go see what all the ruckus is, too. WWX tells him he should show his uncle more respect, and JL complains that Jiang Cheng’s never been anything but over-protective and cautious. WWX tells him that his uncle was a war hero-- JL insists he knows already-- but WWX explains it was much more than that in another number: “The Miracle Brothers.” Bleeding between WWX’s narration and ensemble flashback, we learn the story of Jiang Cheng’s miraculous return after the fall of Lotus Pier, when rumor had it he’d been captured and had his core crushed by the Wen (kinda The Night That Goldman Spoke kind of vibes, in the combo of narration and emotional intensity). We also see the miraculous return of WWX from capture in the Burial Mounds, and the impossible power they both had when they came back (WWX is embarrassed by his younger self’s arrogance; the music takes a turn for the sinister, but not quite fully. We’re also introduced to a “kill the Wen!” musical motif). WWX sees LWJ coming as the song ends, and JL flees. LWJ admits he created a distraction to lure JC away, but couldn’t catch whoever was initially in the trees. 

Scene Five. LWJ and WWX take a breather for the night. LWJ conks out at 9pm, right on schedule, much to WWX’s delight. He then summons Wen Ning. He asks how he’s alive, what’s been going on, but Wen Ning doesn’t have any good answers. WWX tells him to stick close, but lie low. Once all this is finished, they’ll start new lives together where nobody knows who they are. WWX goes to bed, and doesn’t realize that LWJ heard it all. 

Scene Six. LWJ and WWX awake the next morning to news of an unexpected visitor: Lan Xichen. WWX elects to hide while LWJ talks to his brother, and WWC frets about his memories of “The Twin Jades of Lan” (and a return of Xichen’s theme from the first number): both perfect and both perfectly morally upright. The song bleeds into memories of his and LWJ’s conflicts over his new form of cultivation, and WWX finds himself wondering once again why LWJ suddenly doesn’t seem to hate him like he used to. LWJ and LXC both come to talk to WWX, who helps explain about the mysterious arm. LXC is sympathetic to their curiosity, but he feels it’s more important to contain the pieces they’ve found, rather than risk unearthing more danger. WWX is inclined to agree. But as they all prepare to return to Cloud Recesses, they see a distress signal set off by Lan juniors. LWJ and WWX agree to go investigate. 

Scene Seven. The Lan juniors, plus Jin Ling, are in a sticky situation, surrounded by corpses. They find a hiding place, and Lan Sizhui suggests that maybe they could try to turn the corpses to their side. Jin Ling loses his shit: that’s demonic cultivation, that’s what Wei Wuxian used to do, how dare he even suggest that? They start arguing in a partial reprise of Jin Ling’s song from before, and the corpses are encroaching when WWX and LWJ arrive to help fight them off– mostly LWJ. 

WWX asks how they got here, and the juniors say they were led by a series of mysterious incidents. Once the corpses are gone, they get a chance to look around where they are, and find what seems to be an abandoned workshop of some kind. There are pieces of bodies… including the torso and arm of the corpse they’ve been assembling. Jin Ling recognizes this at once: this is a demonic cultivator’s workshop. Somebody’s been experimenting trying to create a creature like the Ghost General, Wen Ning. [If one is feeling really self-indulgent, they find the corpses of A-Qing and Song Lan, who narrate the Yi City Arc in a “Small House of Uncle Thomas” style totally random interlude] 

As the boys squabble, Wei Wuxian sees something else, though: a memory of another brilliant experimenter, Wen Qing. He sees her begging him to “Save My Brother,” only for the tables to turn as they go farther back in the past, and Wei Wuxian begs the same thing of her. Wei Wuxian is overwhelmed, and LWJ insists everyone returns home. Jin Ling says there’s only one place to bring this mysterious corpse: to his other uncle, the Chief Cultivator. We transition to…

Scene Eight. … “Jinlintai,” (aka, JGY’s theme from the first number, kinda the vibes here once they get to the club, only JGY doesn’t come off as so evil, just that Jinlintai is kinda louche) where the boys discuss the incredible rise of Chief Cultivator Jin Guangyao from illegitimate orphan to NMJ’s clerk to spy to head of the Jin and Jin Ling boasts about the luxuries of his clan. JGY comes to greet them, and LXC is unexpectedly with him. JGY welcomes them all graciously, but WWX notices that the arm is acting strangely. He manages to convey to a reluctant LWJ that he’s going to investigate, and slips away. 

JGY leads the juniors off, and LXC and LWJ are left alone. LWJ expresses his surprise at finding LXC here; LXC expresses his concern about LWJ’s recent behavior, and hints that he knows who WWX is. A short reprise of “The Twin Jades” as they both promise to trust each other, as they always have.   

Act One Finale. Wei Wuxian is alone in the treasure chamber, and it doesn’t take him long to find what he’s looking for: the corpse’s head. Specifically, Nie Mingjue’s head.  He offers up an apology to Lan Zhan for the risk he’s about to take, and we begin the “Empathy Dream Ballet” (cf the Carousel Ballet, or the Oklahoma! dream ballet, but I think this would probably have some dialogue or lyrics). As the story of NMJ and JGY’s relationship progresses towards NMJ’s death, the actual Jin Guangyao approaches. As WWX snaps out of the vision, everything fades-- except the actual JGY, who is standing right there. Blackout! 

#i have Way Too Many Thoughts if you'd like to hear more of my thinking behind this sldfjsdf #this is uh only act one #act two will come....... later #sorry this entertained me a lot sjdlfsdf #i like thinking about adaptation and structure

[llycaons]

ep45 (1/2): the wen family reunion, at long last

and getting RIGHT into it here's jc offering jin ling zidian in one of the most straightforward handling of symbolism on the show. but jin ling says NO to the cycle of violence and runs into the fray, chasing after lan sizhui. his friend!

of course jc is distressed by this because he thinks this is a one-way ticket to being dead but good old jin ling doesn't listen

ohh wwx cutting himself (ouch!) on the sword and then staring at it knowing what he has to do and the lans all witnessing. lqr witnessing. I have to believe that means something

he looks SO cool. watching him and lwj seamlessly work together while fighting is so cool. oh yeah and he's wearing white underthings (scandalous!)

aw look, there's jc trying to keep them from leaving without wwx (and lwj)

omg this part

lwj: no thoughts head empty except for FUCK

lsz: ??????? how does he know my name????

I really like jc in this episode. he shows major signs of Cracking, and I've always liked his uncontrollable sobbing the best. right now he looks like he has indigestion but I think that's just from hearing so many people talk about wwx

I complain a lot about lsz being boring but you will never hear that complaint for this scene. lsz being polite and sweet and open and friendly to wen ning had me choking up. for one, nobody talks to wen ning so kindly. for another...THAT'S HIS FAMILY!

and wen ning looks so excited during this scene! I think yb did a really good job of keeping his reactions subdued and awkward, which is exactly how wen ning emotes

HE'S SO HAPPY 😭 THAT'S LITTLE A-YUAN HE'S OKAY!!!

meanwhile jl is edging ever closer to a breakdown himself on account of being a very stressed out little boy laboring under the influence of a heavily patriarchal and revenge-happy society who just learned his new favorite person apparently murdered both his parents using the guy standing right in front of him

oh my GOD he nails this. I'm crying. look at how touched, how moved, how emotional this is making him. this is a piece of himself that he's never understood!!! his family!!! his past!!

jl making his move, attempting revenge but also on the edge of a breakdown

lsz's friends are so good and supportive and kind 🥺 I love you oyzz I love you ljy

this scene was so funny in the book iirc wwx pretended to be passed out "as a joke" (so lwj would cradle him in his strong arms) and then when lwj did just that he got all embarassed

the panicked and desperate attacks of a child about to burst into tears, grasping at whatever defense or position he can

oh god oh fuck it's coming

I WAS SOBBING WATCHING THIS!!!! the very first time I watched, this was the scene that got me.

AND NOBODY DOES SHIT 😭 like I can understand wwx and wen ning feeling awkward, and lwj being like "I don't actually know this kid and I'm not good with comforting people" but lsz and the others? guys. guys. don't just stand there

the flashback was a little heavy-handed but whatEVER I was a MESS

I'm aware this is a pretty low bar but for jc it's almost sweet. calling him a-ling and then asking who bullied him with the implication that he;ll take care of them? aw, jc. you're being so protective and kind this episode

#changed my mind. that house episode looked bad I'm sick of him #cql re-rewatch

[seethefakemuses]

idk how but lwj is somehow the least traumatized character in the novel everyone else has a brother/family killed and too much responsibility placed on them after their loss meanwhile lwj is just gay like thats his entire character arc so how is he supposed to understand or have chemistry with wwx, extremely traumatized alcoholic necromancer who got revived into a random kid’s body 16yrs after his death and clearly has not coped with his past mistakes or the ghosts of his past

wwx: has wen mark branded on him to selflessly save a girl by scummy wc (who he later tortures tf out of which lwj does not approve of)

jwy: has discipline whip scars on him after getting captured and tortured with his core destroyed by the wens as a prisoner of war to save wwx after his family was massacred

lwj: has scars from getting whipped by his clan for breaking the rules trying to protect wwx and branded himself w the wen mark to feel connected to wwx(?)

wwx about lwj post revival: oh yeahhh that guy from gusu lan w all the rules

wwx about jwy post revival: no matter where we are in the world as long as we are alive we will meet </3 i must avoid him as my actions have hurt him so much </3 i must never let him know that i sacrificed my core for him i hope he is well 😔😔💔😢😢😫😫💔💔

lmfao yeah exactly. man’s got no real trauma and his scars are either self inflicted out of drunkenness or bc he’s stupid. he tried to protect wwx but he only did it halfway, and then he went back and was whipped 33 times (once per elder? how lenient can they get) and went into seclusion afterwards. he’s still got his brother and uncle who take care of him and protect him, his sect still holds him in high standing, and he’s just out here making the stupidest decisions and acting erratically.

i loved that scene lol. wwx’s just declaring his deep and abiding bond with jc to the world while lwj’s standing on the side, impotently jealous:🧍the amount of time wwx spends thinking about jc in the novel is truly something. the way he’s managed to delude himself at the end of the novel into thinking he’s done with that part of his life and that he and jc are now passing strangers is astonishing. he’s reached a new level of ‘how far can i run from my emotions?’.

#like yeah 33 times with a discipline whip is a lot but like. for what he did? lol he got off so easy. didn’t get expelled #didn’t lose reputation. nothing. sure there was seclusion but that was also so he could rest up and heal. he went out and grabbed lsz during #it and nobody said nothing. they were soooo lenient on him. #anyway lan wangji was the luckiest and most privileged mf in mdzs #also yeah so funny wwx was like yo who’s that widow-looking dude? oh it’s that boring prude from gusu lan #chengxian #mdzs #anon #asks

[crossdressingdeath]

"Boys will be boys" logic is interesting since WWX himself basically uses that exact excuse in the book when he tells LWJ not to take JC's homophobic rant/assault seriously in the ancestral hall bc that's just how JC is, as if WWX himself wasn't furious when JC targeted LWJ in that scene. A lot of WWX's famed unreliable narration is rationalizing the crazy shit JC does but sometimes people tend to take it at face value.

Yes, exactly! That is such a huge thing. WWX spends so much time telling himself (and through himself the audience) that oh, it can’t be helped when JC mistreats him, JC is just like that, it’s totally fine, he doesn’t mind, and we see how that viewpoint was encouraged and strengthened by the people around him, especially JYL (sorry Shijie but it’s true). Hell, you could argue that this particular aspect of his character was entirely her doing, given YZY just thinks he should be subordinate to JC in all things and JFM mostly ignores JC’s behaviour; it’s just JYL going for the “oh boys will be boys, you’re strong and always smiling, you can take it” angle.

...Actually, let’s go into that a bit more because it very much gets buried under the “best sister” shit; I am prepared to argue that JYL consistently taking JC’s side did serious damage to WWX. Like, she was the only Jiang who consistently showed him affection and support and he convinced himself that it was unconditional! But the “unconditional” aspect was an illusion entirely based on his ability to consistently and convincingly pretend that JC wasn’t hurting him. WWX isn’t stupid, I don’t doubt for a second that he knew JYL would take JC’s side if it came down to it. She always takes JC’s side from day one. Literally; she hears WWX say he’ll take the blame for JC chasing him out of Lotus Pier and getting WWX’s leg broken while all JC did was come out looking for WWX personally (instead of doing the smart and more helpful thing and getting adults to help) because he was scared he’d get in trouble and he got a little scrape because he was running through the woods like an idiot because, again, he was too scared of getting in trouble to GET ACTUAL HELP THAT WASN’T A CHILD and she’s like “Yeah, that sounds reasonable and fair and not like a really, really bad precedent to set with a kid whose safety relies on my family liking him”. ...There’s also an aspect of “Sure, it can’t hurt to let the kid my mother very clearly hates take responsibility for something that he could be punished for by someone with a motive to take everything possible as a wrongdoing on WWX’s part”, but to be fair at this point she doesn’t know YZY will whip WWX for literally anything she can even slightly suggest is any sort of wrongdoing on WWX’s part. And let’s not pretend WWX wasn’t punished for JC getting hurt; come on, it’s YZY, she punishes him for sunbathing.

This is a running thing going forward in their dynamic, too! JC does something horrible, JYL immediately starts in on the “Oh, boys will be boys, A-Cheng might get upset if you call him out on his shit” shtick if WWX shows the slightest trace of dissatisfaction with being treated like garbage, WWX smiles and forgives JC for whatever he did without question, there’s a period of calm, the cycle repeats. JYL very much teaches WWX that he cannot EVER show any unhappiness with JC’s threats and insults. If he ever shows so much as a shred of anger or sadness or generally being upset at the way JC mistreats him JYL takes JC’s side. At most she’ll tell JC that maybe he should back off a little while basically telling WWX to grin and bear it because JC might be slightly upset if anyone ever calls him out on being horrible to literally everyone. And don’t even get me started on the whole “Oh you’re always smiling” bullshit, talk about teaching a mistreated orphan that he has literally no right to look sad about anything ever. Like, let me put it this way: WWX doesn’t even feel he can go to JYL about JC TRYING TO KILL HIM. That’s a lot? It’s a lot? And it never really gets discussed in any way? WWX doesn’t feel like he can tell his supposed sister who supposedly loves him unconditionally that her brother tried to murder him like three times and when the third time comes up JYL takes JC’s side because JC’s arm got broken in the process of the staged fight where JC stabbed WWX in the gut and that’s fine and healthy apparently. Stan WQ, the actual best sister (god I love WQ).

Anyway, now that I’m done enraging the fandom with my tangent about how much JYL sucks as a sister to WWX... Yeah, WWX insists that JC’s attitude can’t be helped because JC’s just like that even when he very clearly doesn’t buy that? He’s obviously pissed when JC goes after LWJ to the point of genuinely going after JC for it... but when they get away from JC he goes into the “Oh, he can’t help it, don’t get mad at him”. And in this particular case part of it is him panicking because JC’s homophobic ranting (and LWJ’s clear anger at it) left him questioning his and LWJ’s feelings and the mutuality thereof, but it also... really does throw every other time he insists JC’s behaviour is fine into question. Like, we know he’s not buying his own line in this scene! He was furious at JC! He’s still furious and upset! But he feels the need to cover for JC. Even after he’s realized that JC’s behaviour wasn’t okay, he still feels like he has to protect him from anyone else getting angry at him. WWX knows JC’s behaviour isn’t okay and that it’s not fair that JC treats him the way he does and I’d argue (especially at this point in the story) that he deserves better than JC’s treatment... but he still insists that JC is just like that and it’s fine.

That throws every single time WWX smiles through JC’s mistreatment into question, I’d say; we know he’ll react this way even when he knows that JC’s behaviour isn’t okay, so who’s to say he ever isn’t aware that JC’s behaviour isn’t okay? In CQL XZ does an excellent job of showing that at least in that continuity he is extremely done with JC’s shit even from when they’re fifteen; the novel is as far as I remember a little less clear, but it’s still pretty obvious that he’s not enjoying the way JC treats him. He knows that the way JC treats him is hurtful and upsetting and sometimes even frightening (think of the times JC threatens him with dogs and he’s clearly scared, which is a whole other thing because either he’s so scared of dogs that even the threat terrifies him or he has zero doubt that JC for sure would set dogs on him, which is a big thing either way and also I’m still not over how CQL JYL laughs when JC threatens WWX with dogs even though WWX is clearly scared and she totally would’ve laughed if that happened in the novel too but showing it so blatantly and then never actually getting into how messed up it is is just unnecessary), but he feels like he has to smile through it and cover for JC, just like when they were nine.

Anyway yeah, for a fandom so obsessed with WWX being an unreliable narrator the MDZS/CQL fandom sure does miss a lot of times where WWX is actually being unreliable, huh.

#mdzs #grapehate #wei wuxian #lotus sister #...got a bit off-track there whoops #anyway the jiangs ALL suck and FUCK jyl for enabling jc's horrible behaviour #anon #asks

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: Au where lwj marries wwx after the bloodbath at nevernight, taking him back to gusu and hiding him in the jingshi, just like qhj did with madam lan. Also presumably like madam lan, wwx did not ask for it, nor does he appreciate it. The difference: wwx has the power to do something about it - after all, you can seal qi, but there’s no way to stop someone from performing demonic cultivation. (and, the lan sect forgot that a prison would probably have quite a bit of resentful energy in it)

“So, about half of that plan worked,” Wei Wuxian said, and Lan Wangji had the grace to look embarrassed. “Didn’t think the second half through, did you?”

Lan Wangji refrained from commenting, but then again, he was Lan Wangji.

“They don’t seriously think I’m going to just sit here in this tiny room for the rest of my life, do they?”

Lan Wangji looked – long-suffering.

It was a good thing, Wei Wuxian reflected, that Lan Wangji had confessed his feelings quite so desperately in those brief moments they’d been alone in the cave, or else he would be really upset with him right now.

Well, he was a little upset.

But it was difficult to be too upset when Lan Wangji had looked at him with that gaze, said those words, pressed his mouth to his –

“Oooh, wait, are you supposed to stay in seclusion here, too?” Wei Wuxian asked interestedly. “That’s the precedent, right? We get married and both go into seclusion, and then churn out a few kids – I could definitely give trying to make kids a solid effort, if you know what I mean –”

Lan Wangji’s ears turned red when he was embarrassed. “Wei Ying!”

“Oh no, it’s too late now,” Wei Wuxian said gleefully. “You rescued my Wen sect, you married me, you told me you like me; you’re stuck with me now! And in our very own fuck shack!”

“Wei Ying!”

Wei Wuxian didn’t know what he would do if he’d recovered from the paralysis Wen Qing had put him in to find them all dead – he would have reacted terribly – instead of the whole cultivation world ablaze with the news of Lan Wangji having stolen them right out of the Jin sect’s hands. If that hadn’t happened, he wouldn’t have stopped to wait for news, confused by the sudden twist; he wouldn’t have encountered Lan Wangji, rushing to find him, wouldn’t have read the message he’d passed along from Jiang Yanli, wouldn’t have heard him confess…

Wouldn’t have married him.

Lan Wangji was looking at him like he was the sun, moon and stars again, just at the mention of their marriage, and the only way handle the emotions churned up by that was clearly to start chanting, “Fuck shack! Fuck shack! Fuck shack!” on repeat until Lan Wangji covered his face with his sleeves in despair.

Yes, Wei Wuxian had heard the story about Lan Wangji’s mother, how this had been her place to live after her own crime – how she must have conceived her two sons here.

Yes, he was aware that calling it a fuck shack was in terrible taste.

No, he didn’t care as long as it got him out of having to confront feelings.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” he said after a little while, laughing. “But seriously. What’s your sect’s plan here? Do they think that locking away my spiritual energy –” 

Nonexistent spiritual energy, coincidentally. 

“ – will allow them to keep me here forever? That’s not how demonic cultivation works.”

After all, there was plenty of resentment here to work with.

Wei Wuxian carefully didn’t think about how much of that resentment must have been from Lan Wangji’s mother.

“Unnecessary,” Lan Wangji said.

“So there is a plan,” Wei Wuxian said with satisfaction. “Well, not your sect’s, but you, yourself, have a plan. What is it?”

“Once matters calm, my brother will propose a debate with the other sects on the subject of my actions and yours, with the goal of agreeing that our punishment be left wholly in the hands of the Lan sect, the Tiger Seal sealed away or destroyed and both the Wen sect and you to be carefully monitored,” Lan Wangji said. “During that time, my uncle will come let us out.”

“Teacher Lan? Really?”

Lan Wangji didn’t repeat things, so he didn’t say anything, but he looked pleased – a little surprised himself, but happy to have had his suspicions proven right.

With both Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen on their side, it would be very difficult for the Lan sect elders to carry through their original plan. Lan Xichen would very carefully not agree to exactly what type of “monitoring” would be appropriate, allowing them to make their own assumptions, and if after everything had been settled the Sect Leader agreed that Lan Wangji could be the one to “monitor” Wei Wuxian, well, that was too bad for them. 

An argument that would only be strengthened by the two of them being far away already, because to argue too much would be to lose face in front of the rest of the cultivation world - the only thing the Lan sect elders liked even less than his demonic cultivation.

“Huh,” Wei Wuxian said. “I didn’t think he liked me that much.”

“He does not,” Lan Wangji said. “If events were otherwise, he would have tried to keep me from you. But since things have come this far, he would prefer for me to be happy.”

“What happens after we leave?” Wei Wuxian asked.

Lan Wangji shrugged.

Wei Wuxian supposed that they could be rogue cultivators, staying at the outskirts of the other sects’ territories until the furor died down; with the Tiger Seal gone and Wei Wuxian technically under the supervision of a member of the Lan sect, they wouldn’t have much basis to argue. Travelling together – probably letting Wen Ning tag along – maybe with a donkey – 

“We could have a farm,” Wei Wuxian said, brightening. “Just the two of us!”

Lan Wangji smiled.

Wei Wuxian’s heart skipped a beat.

“Yeah,” he said, a little weakly. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

And maybe they wouldn’t need to fight the whole cultivation world off with his demonic cultivation to do it…although if that were necessary, he was willing and able.

No one was getting in the way of this marriage.

#mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wangxian #my fic #my fics #I couldn't resist going with the funny take on this #sssrha

[neverdoingmuch]

Wangxian prompt: They see each other constantly. Like, maybe they're neighbors, or is a "my kid's teacher" situation. Maybe they meet at the bus stop, or work in the same company but different offices. So they're aware of each other and they exchange glances, maybe little inside-joke smiles about things they both notice. They see each other being brave, competent, kind, so so handsome. And when they actually talk to each other months later the first thing they say is "Marry me" and "Yes"

ooh!! this sounds like a lot of fun, i love it so much. i think office workers would be the best bc then we can contrast the banality of the rest of their lives to the quirkiness of their relationship so to speak.

okay so it all started when lwj decided that he wanted to eat breakfast on his apartment balcony

he takes his bowl and goes to sit in the chair outside and he’s prepared to just enjoy the cool morning air but when he looks up he sees a man sitting on the balcony exactly opposite his

wwx, by some strange luck, has the apartment across the street, and always goes outside to try and wake up bc he is not a morning person at all and the 9-5 job is killer for someone who likes to go to sleep at like three in the morning

anyway, lwj looks up and sees this kinda cute guy just sitting on the floor miserably blinking at the rising sun and is like oh weird and tries not to stare too much

but after that first time lwj sees him, he starts seeing mystery balcony dude everywhere, like everywhere and no amount of not staring is gonna save him

he goes down to his favourite cafe to get a cup of tea after breakfast and while he’s enjoying his tea and reading the newspaper he hears someone laugh loudly and glances over to the muffin display to see balcony man chatting with one of the staff as he orders his own coffee 

balcony man must have noticed his attention because he looks over and for a moment he looks confused but then he’s smiling brightly at lwj and it’s this absolutely amazing smile and he’s even hotter when he’s not sitting in a ratty t-shirt across the street and lwj panics, chugs the rest of his tea, and immediately leaves

he ends up arriving at the train station fifteen minutes early and is stuck awkwardly waiting while avoiding the grandma who likes showing men pictures of her granddaughter who is very beautiful and very single apparently

the train arrives and lwj gets on, finds a seat and pulls out his phone to respond to emails. then, just as the doors are about to shut, who should rush in but balcony man

he’s kinda sweaty and red but the guy makes it look good and he ends up sitting down a few metres from lwj, not that lwj notices because he’s very busy responding to his emails about how one of the teams in sales is having difficulties with one of their projects, so busy that he spends the next thirty minutes staring at the email unable to get past the second line

lwj and wwx end up getting off at the same stop and to lwj’s absolute horror they end up going to the same building

lwj tries to do the thing where you speedwalk past the person so they don’t think you’re following them but then wwx did the same thing to him so they end up arriving at the same time

they get in the elevator together, lwj near the door off to the left and balcony man in the far corner, leaning against the wall and looking down at his shoes

it’s kind of awkward but thankfully wwx gets off at the fifteenth floor - software design and tech support or something while lwj gets off at the twentieth floor - sales maybe?

he doesn’t see the man again until the end of the work day when they get into the elevator at the same time and go back down. they’re the only two people in there bc they’re working late or the stars aligned or something

and that’s just the first day. after that, every day the same thing happens and they keep seeing each other as they’re going to and from work. 

but also lwj goes to do the grocery shopping and when he’s paying wwx is in the next line across and when he goes to buy new strings for his guqin wwx is already in the store buying a new mouthpiece for his dizi

this goes on for a few weeks and then one morning, while wwx is trying to shock his system into waking up and lwj is just enjoying breakfast, they hear familiar shouting: the couple downstairs is breaking up again

lwj rolls his eyes, aware that come next week they’ll be dating again, and just blocks it out when the boyfriend comes stumbling out of the building with his shirt half on and the girlfriend still yelling

he looks across the street to see what balcony man thinks of it all and sees that he’s mouthing along to the argument (it really is exactly the same speech every time but it’s incredible that he’s memorised it). lwj snorts. it’s unseemly and rude but balcony man is over there acting out the break up as well as mouthing along and it’s the funniest thing lwj’s seen all week.

wwx notices him laugh and decides to wave at him. lwj tentatively waves back and with that the magic of their relationship sets in

now when lwj goes to the cafe in the morning wwx will look around the store until he spots lwj and wave at him, and lwj will lift his mug up in greeting which always make wwx laugh

then when they get on the train, they always get seats opposite each other and while they never actually say anything, sometimes lwj will glance over to see wwx sneaking a look at him. they both blush and look away but moments later they’re doing it again

when they walk to work, lwj crosses the street so they can walk at the same pace and not have to actually be right next to each other and despite having to cross back over, wwx is always still waiting to catch the elevator with him. 

now when they go up, they still don’t talk to each other but wwx always hums and lwj taps along with whatever tune he’s picked. 

same thing when they go back down in the evening and catch the train back

over time it starts to become more than just staring and smiling, now when the couple downstairs breaks up, wwx will hold up like three fingers and lwj understands that balcony man thinks they’ll get back together within three days

(wwx’s always right btw)

when they go to the cafe lwj will send wwx a thumbs down if the sports mum with eight kids gets in queue first and wwx will always make hearts with his hands whenever the baristas start flirting. 

when they get in the train and hear the angry businessmen argue they’re sitting there making funny faces at each other,, well wwx does and lwj just tries to keep his face blank. he usually succeeds but sometimes he smiles and wwx will always do a little victory wiggle which is honestly so cute lwj is dying

the elevator? they don’t even have to say anything. whenever a coworker they don’t like hops in they just find subtle ways to explain why they don’t like them and how

the best time was when lwj saw su she get in and immediately pulled a face like he sucked a lemon and had to try and mime “he always takes really long lunches and is really bad at sales but we can’t get rid of him because he’d whine too much and no one wants to put up with that” but he’s lwj and doesn’t really do miming. in contrast, when wen chao gets in wwx just holds up his thumb and pointer finger like he’s measuring something, and holds them only a few centimetres apart. 

they both get really good at reading each other like that

when they catch the train back home it’s always really late so lwj ends up reading a book while wwx sketches and, just as lwj always holds up his books so wwx can see the cover, wwx will show lwj whatever he’s drawn

at one point in time lwj comes home and sees a stray kitten hiding in a box near the entrance to his building but he can’t take it in bc of his rabbit so instead he goes out onto his balcony and just points straight down and holds up a cardboard box he has in his own apartment

without even hesitating wwx goes downstairs and crosses the street, still dressed in his pyjamas, and takes the kitten home. 

lwj kinda expected wwx to take the kitten to a shelter or something but within a month their morning routine changes to allow a kitten to climb all over wwx as he tries to wake up and it’s ridiculously adorable but also lwj is sitting there in absolute awe of how good balcony man is to just take in a stray like that 

there’s probably a few other scenes, like wwx and lwj going out to a dinner with their teams and they get seated at nearby tables and end up sending each other commiserating smiles whenever the conversation gets particularly dull and the time when lwj gets caught by the well-meaning grandma who always tries to set people up with her granddaughter on the train and he taps out sos in morse code and wwx just replies rip and stares out the window for the rest of the trip 

anyway this is getting a bit long so im going to say jump forward a year (doesn’t have to be a year i guess). they’re still enjoying this whole thing they’ve got going on and they know each other so well that when lwj sees wwx some mornings he knows to go to the cafe early and order an extra strong coffee for wwx and wwx will sometimes sketch pictures of rabbits when lwj seems a bit annoyed after work

(wwx will fold them into paper aeroplanes and throw them across the train to lwj and lwj always takes them home and flattens them back out and then shows them to his rabbit before before putting them up on the fridge)

one day the trains break down and they’re stuck waiting at the station in the morning and for once lwj feels genuinely sad that he might not get to work on time. like work is whatever but he doesn’t want to miss out on the half an hour on the train with balcony man and the way they speedwalk to see who can get to the office first and the awkward waiting outside the elevators where wwx bounces up and down and lwj taps out a rhythm against his thigh until wwx notices and starts humming along

but then he notices wwx walking over to him. he seems kinda nervous, hesitating at first but he puts on a confident smile and saunters over and lwj is panicking because they haven’t done this before and he doesn’t know what to do

wwx opens his mouth - he’s going to make the first move and ask out his mystery man, but then lwj takes one look at wwx, who’s standing right next to him and it feels different to all the other times they’ve been together, and he panics

wwx barely manages to open his mouth to say good morning when lwj blurts out will you marry me?

wwx blinks, blushes bright red, and immediately goes yes! (it’s a bit too loud and people around them turn to stare but neither of them notice)

lwj immediately whips out his phone and sends in an email saying that he’s taking a sick day and after he sends it off, he slips his phone back into his pocket, takes wwx’s hand in his and asks him what’s your name?

it takes wwx like fifteen minutes to stop laughing by which time they’re back at their cafe and this time, they both sit down at a table after ordering their drinks and it’s the baristas making hearts with their hands at them

#Anonymous #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs #modao zushi #mo dao zu shi #asks #my aus #cql #the untamed #anon i hope this turned out alright!! #i loved your prompt so much and i wanted to do justice to it #i was thinking it was gonna be short but it ended up being really long too ): #or not a sad face if you like long answers? #who knows!! #but i had a lot of fun! #i didnt get much into the brave & competent thing bc i wanted to create a disconnect between their normal jobs and these moments they share #also?? they'd probably have to talk if they saw each other up close so rip the logistics

[gloriousmonsters]

...goddamn, I’m still thinking about this wen ning-su she swap AU, because the question occurred ‘if you can use demonic cultivation without a core, and awakened fierce corpses seem pretty similar to humans aside from the lack of spiritual energy... could an awakened fierce corpse use demonic cultivation?’

anyway in this ‘verse WWX decided to go on a little sabbatical to the Burial Mounds to meditate or something, and then wound up staying there because the pressure for him to Stop Being Him kept growing and him and Jiang Cheng’s relationship was becoming more strained; this was still meant to be temporary but it gets complicated when rumors spread that he’s starting a sect based on demonic cultivation, and wwx is like ‘lol no I’m not?’ only to poke his head out of the cave he’s been napping in and find out that sms has returned from wherever he went to brood last and has been recruiting people that show up as disciples

screaming arguments happen where sms is like I’M SORRY FOR ATTEMPTING TO GET US MANPOWER WHEN WE’RE ABOUT TO GET ATTACKED ANY DAY NOW and wwx is like STOP TELLING PEOPLE THINGS AND SAYING I SIGNED OFF ON THEM oh wait i’ve packbonded with some of these losers you brought in now. i guess i’m a bit more ok with it

(jgy is currently hiding the whole wen fam in his basement and repeatedly hurrying his assistant, a-ning (who definitely isn’t a wen who thinks he looks like  a wen? don’t be silly) away from jin zixun before things go bad on either side)

I’m seeing wwx’s death in this ‘verse either being a modified Qiongqi Path - there’s no Hundred Holes Curse in this scenario, but look, I REALLY don’t think you need to try hard to make jin zixun want to try and take out wwx; and it would be so easy to play a scenario where wwx and sms argue about him going, causing wwx to slip off to go alone and get caught without backup--or some kind of scenario where the Jin kidnap one of the Yiling Wei’s younger disciples and use them as bait for wwx to come over and get killed. either way, he still dies around the same time, but sms--and the rest of the sorta-sect--still have demonic cultivation on their side, and they successfully defend the Burial Mounds against siege. everyone thinks about their life choices for a bit, someone yells ‘we’ll get ‘em next time, boys!’ and we cut to 13-16 years of very very uneasy peace

(in this scenario you could TOTALLY still have at least jiang yanli, and maybe even jin zixuan, alive if you wanted! just realized that.)

(in the wwx-is-dead interim, wen ning assists jgy in killing nmj quick n’ sweet with some untraceable poison or something. rip nmj. wen ning is also REALLY useful in knocking people out for ‘assassinations’ to be conducted by ‘outside forces’, etc. he also gets along great with all the kids! great guy)

i could see sms as, before wwx’s death, basically trying to pretend he hadn’t died (don’t read into the amount I cover up or the fact I never use qi in public anymore! I still carry a sword AND my robes are wrapped the right way. shut up) but after, leaning ALL the way into the oldstyle Yiling Patriarch, nightmare of the battlefield aesthetic. the Yiling Wei have almost a Ghost Valley rep--are they human? are they demons? we just don’t know, etc; and sms gets ALL the atmospheric mileage he can out of being Actually Legit Dead. god. he’d probably get some kind of White Grim Reaper moniker and encourage the fuck out of it. wwx is going to die of secondhand embarrassment when he comes back to life and sees how edgy everyone’s aesthetic is

(look I don’t know HOW this happens exactly but in this AU i need jin rusong to live also. usually I don’t really care but I just reread what i wrote above and pictured Wen Ning--possibly not able to see his family all that often because jgy got them settled somewhere safe, but rather out of the way, and he has duties in Jinlintai--bonding with jgy’s kid, and my heart is FULL i need this)

also there’s so much delicious tension in the idea of WWX coming back to a world where the Yiling Wei/Burial Mounds are an entity, and are locked in a vicious semi-cold war with Lotus Pier (sms would Absolutely capture and torture jiang disciples as retaliation for losing his demonic cultivators) meanwhile LWJ is. still just trying to do his thing, waiting to see if wwx’s spirit ever shows up, wishing he didn’t really fucking hate everyone else who used to know wwx

#gay necromancy: the show #i will not write another fic i will not write another fic #su she #wen ning

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 08 second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Malarkey )

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Flower Town, Continued

The boys continue their ramble down main street. When they see an interesting crowd of people, Lan Wangji wants to hang back, actually verbalizing that it’s too crowded for him. He’s made a lot of communication progress since first meeting Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian reassures him, and hits him with a series of irresistibly fuckable coaxing expressions...

...and then grabs and drags him.

However, WWX only drags LWJ nearer to the crowd, not into it, letting go before he and Nie Huaisang step over to the group. Being taken out of his comfort zone is part of why Lan Wangji signed onto this Wei Wuxian ride, and as they grow closer WWX is learning LWJ’s particular parameters so he doesn’t cause a kernel panic total system crash.

Nie Huaisang recites some relevant poetry and Wei Wuxian praises him for being so cultured. I continue to love how sweet these two are with each other.

(more after the cut!)

Flower Boys

Lan Wangji gets rewarded for his bravery with a flower shower, and he blisses out, gazing at the pretty.

Nie Huaisang blisses out, gazing at Lan Wangji

Wei Wuxian valiantly tries to pretend he’s not totally heart eyes for Lan Wangji.

He fails.

Collecting the Yin Iron

Wen Chao is taking his own road trip, collecting Yin Iron and making trouble for our gang. This Yin Iron chunk is at the Flower Lady’s house.

Is...this a good way to store Yin Iron? It seems kinda precarious and, uh, stupid.

Next he goes to hassle the dancing rock lady, who, like OP, is a hystersister, but unlike OP, isn’t delighted about it.  Having her female essence Yin removed some years ago made her hot all the time and now she eats souls if she gets a chance. Mood. Rock Lady needs better vitamins. 

Anyway, Wen Chao is actually pretty effective at this Yin Iron getting thing, until he tries to catch Lan Wangji in a roadrunner trap anyway, and I don’t mind saying his dad should have more faith in him. 

In between Yin Iron stops, Wen Chao takes a moment to menace Wen Ching, blah blah Wen blah blah Yin, oh my god this storyline is the dullest. But we do get to see her beautiful scabbard up close.

Before Wen Chao frees the rock lady from her bonds, she has a magic circle on the ground, like the one Wei Wuxian broke in Episode 1 by stepping on it. Seems secure.  She is also bound in these chains. What are these chains (highlighted with white in the picture) supposed to accomplish, exactly?

Since they leave her front hand totally free, they are definitely not going to stop her from grabbing any of the dumbasses who consistently come and put offerings on the altar directly in front of her, is what I’m saying.

Wen Chao blasts the protection charm on the floor with some fire, and all of the chains fall off, so now Rock Lady is free to get her grouchy on. 

Let’s review the master plan for hiding the Yin Iron, shall we? Of 4 pieces of Yin Iron, Xue Yang hid one up his ass somewhere that’s never revealed. The other three were hidden in 1. a well-warded secret ice cave, 2. A public-access temple 3. A flower.  This is what happens when you don’t have a project manager.

Compatibility Score=Hard Nope

Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng sit down in a tavern for the world’s most antagonistic first date. 

As it turns out, Wen Qing is being helpful. Aggressively helpful. Also, we discover that even when he’s got googly eyes for a girl, future Clan Leader Jiang takes no shit when it comes to confrontations. This is a heartening development, considering his parents’ terrible dynamic. 

After Wen Qing delivers her message she tells her team to chill, and gets ready to sneak up the mountain to cause more trouble for her boss. 

Flower Lady House

The boys continue to be a few steps behind Wen Chao, getting to the flower lady’s house and finding nothing but a feather. 

Whenever we have an overhead shot of roofs I wonder where all the guards went. Possibly I have spent too much of my life playing Assassin’s Creed.

1. Nie Huaisang is very smart and observant 2. Nie Huaisang has super cool braids. There are even tiny side braids snaking up from his ears to his topknot.

Hey babe, how about some eye contact? Okay babe, but make it quick.

Dafan Mountain Town

Meet Granny, who is actually very nice and a good babysitter later in the story, but right now is baked out of her gourd.

Wei Wuxian tucks his sword in between his legs so he can make hand gestures while Nie Huaisang admires his hilt. 

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind Because your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance they’re no friends of mine

The gang wanders through the deserted town, which seemed pretty creepy back when I was young and idealistic and hadn’t seen goddamn Yi City yet.

Now it seems quaint and well-maintained. Also the town isn’t really deserted; the inhabitants are in the makeup tent getting their zombie cracks painted on.

Rock Lady Temple

Baked Granny and Vaguely Hostile Temple Tender Guy are like “sure, you kids can sleep in the haunted house, have a nice time with that” and our gang just fucking goes to sleep all at the same time like they’ve never seen a monster movie before. 

Which is hotter: this fire, or this man asleep in this outfit with red laces on his vambraces and his red robe splayed all over the place and his knee up in the air and...ok, really there’s no need to even ask this question.

[too soon, OP, too soon. #FatalJourney]

Nie Huaisang wakes up all scared and startled, and Wei Wuxian subtly indicates his lack of concern.

Rock Lady Fight

Actually, of course, Nie Huaisang’s perceptions are right on the money, and the statue very sloooowly comes to life and attaaaaaaacks them.  Spinning ensues.

Wei Wuxian deploys his bondage talisman, this time in yellowish-white. He probably picked blue before to remind him of Lan Wangji’s headband.

[note: for more spin-fighting be sure to check out my fanvid!]

The actors are really good at all this mime work. The CGI doesn’t always live up to their efforts, but they manage to sell it, most of the time.

Lan Wangji is a great fighter, let’s see what cool moves he will use to get out of this “hand lightly resting on my sword hilt” situation.

Lan Wangji, are you fucking kidding me?

Eventually the fight choreographer comes back from his lunch break and lets Lan Wangji put his arms down. They finish their scuffle with the rock lady, sticking her back on her pedestal. Lan Wangji uses a magic flint-and-steel maneuver...

...and Wei Wuxian deploys some extra-fabulous talismans.

This effectively keeps the rock lady confined for the next several years, so--go go battle buds!

Zombie Attack

Once Rock Lady is taken care of, the undead zombies living puppets attack. 

Battle couple are on the same page throughout all of this, and decide to let go of the windows and doors they are holding closed in favor of putting a talisman on the center door only. Which, in the way of all zombie deterrents, works awesomely for about 2 minutes of screen time and then totally fails. 

Duhn-duhn-duhn! We end on a cliffhanger. What will happen? Will our intrepid gang survive? Is Jiang Cheng going to help, since he’s lurking just off camera? Nope 

Next rewatch is coming soon!

Soundtrack: 1. Safety Dance, Men Without Hats 2. Stand, REM

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #wangxian #cql #the untamed gifs #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #the untamed spoilers

[gentil-minou]

Gosh I need to edit this more before I actually start posting but I'm just so excited so here's a preview of my wangxian OUAT au, featuring wwx as emma, lwj as regina, and ayuan as henry (though are veering far away from both canon in both cases so no need to be familiar with the show to enjoy)

----

The doorbell rings.

He blinks once, then twice. Wei Wuxian isn’t normally one to get visitors, especially at this time of night. He tries to remember if there’s a no-candle policy in his lease his landlord might nag him about when the doorbell rings again.

He scrambles to his feet and stumbles to the door, already preparing an apology for something he probably didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to do and another apology in case he did know. He opens the door and sees….nothing.

Until he hears a quiet cough and looks down to see a little boy.

At first, he thinks maybe he’s a trick-or-treater who got a bit lost, but Wei Wuxian’s building is secured with a key and callbox entry. Plus, although he’s been wandering streets alone since forever, he’s pretty sure a kid this young would have a chaperone with him. He looks behind the kid and doesn’t see anyone else there.

But instead of asking something sensible like where his chaperone may be or even if the kid’s lost, he blurts, “How did you get in?”

The boy tilts his head and replies, “The front door. It wasn’t locked, I just walked in.”

So much for secured entry. But that doesn’t really answer why there is a human child at his door at nearly midnight. There’s definitely a law somewhere that says that’s illegal, probably.

The kid, who can’t be more than ten years old and really should have learned about stranger danger by now, beams up at him, as if technical breaking and entering is something to be proud of. Which, okay, maybe Wei Wuxian is kind of impressed by that.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” the boy asks, his smile so sweet and unassuming that before Wei Wuxian even realizes it, he’s turned to the side and let the boy in.

The kid is wearing a blue puffy coat and carrying a white backpack that has homemade floppy ears made of felt that make it look like a bunny. They bounce up and down as the boy walks inside and slips his shoes off. Wei Wuxian very maturely resists the urge to tug on those floppy bunny ears, though only just.

Shoes off, his socks patterned with fluffy white clouds, the boy turns back around to look up at Wei Wuxian. His entire face beams up at him as if he were a sunflower facing the sun, which wow what an ego-boost. He’s got dimples, little baby dimples that are very cute and look very pinchable but that doesn’t matter because there is a baby in his house! And okay he’s at least ten years old but regardless why is there a whole entire child in his apartment? What is one supposed to do when some random kid shows up at their doorstep and invites themselves in?

“Oh shit uh, wait not shit,” Wei Wuxian stammers. “Shit, sorry. Um. A drink, you want a drink?”

Ask the random child if they want something to drink, apparently. Perfect.

The kid nods, still giving him that doe-eyed look. Wei Wuxian doesn’t have much by way of child-friendly beverage options, but he wasn’t exactly expecting something like this tonight. He settles on milk that looks like it hasn't gone too bad yet. Besides, expired milk builds immunity and character in children, that's how it works, right? He pours a glass for the kid, making sure to give him the cleanest one even though there’s a tiny crack on the surface.

He guides the kid over to the coffee table and hands him the milk. The kid takes the glass and sinks onto the deflated beanbag while Wei Wuxian perches on the edge of the couch. He grabs a can of beer from the six-pack still on the floor beside the table and takes a sip. Wait, is that allowed? Can he drink alcohol in front of children?

The kid doesn’t seem to care. He takes a tentative sip of his milk and makes a very polite face that fails to mask his disgust, before putting the glass down on the table next to the forgotten cupcake. Fair, it’s nice to see him asserting boundaries and all that.

"Okay," Wei Wuxian says, amused despite the situation. "Who are you and why are you in my house at—" he checks his phone for the time"—five minutes to midnight on a Friday night?"

The kid doesn't answer right away. His eyes are still focused on the cupcake, but in a way he probably thinks is sneaky. Wei Wuxian tilts his head to get a better look and sure enough, there’s a furrow between his eyebrows like the kid is trying really hard to ask a difficult question. After a minute, it becomes clear he hasn’t worked out a nice enough way to ask, but it’s a good thing Wei Wuxian knows enough about being a hungry child to recognize one.

He nudges the cupcake over to him and says, "Help yourself." Immediately, the kid grabs the cupcake with all the care in the world, like it’s a priceless artifact and promptly devours it. Wei Wuxian can’t help but smile as he eats. Suddenly the cheap cupcake feels like an excellent choice.

When the kid finishes licking the last bits of frosting and crumbs off his fingers, he sits politely with his hands in his lap and looks longingly toward the kitchen. He’s still too nice to ask forthright, but Wei Wuxian knows better and he isn't a monster.

Wei Wuxian gets up and opens one of the cabinets to look for something that’s probably child-appropriate, pulling out a bag of his least spicy chips. Chips are made of potatoes which are vegetables which means it’s probably not that bad for kids. Either way, the kid takes the bag gratefully and eats the chips with relish, even though they’re definitely way too spicy for someone his age.

“Alright, alright. You’ve been fed. Now tell me, who are you?” he asks again, though he can’t stop the tiniest bit of fondness from creeping into his tone. It’s just that everything this kid does is so cute! He can’t help himself!

The kid stops eating and tries to speak, but what comes out instead are the quietest little coughs Wei Wuxian’s ever heard. He’s been eating these spicy snacks and slowly turning as red as they are, but he’s so polite he hasn’t said a thing about them.

All at once, Wei Wuxian realizes he likes this kid, despite knowing practically nothing about him. It’s strange. He hates the kids the customers at his job will bring sometimes, especially when their parents just let them loose like it's a daycare and not a coffee shop. Wei Wuxian isn’t mean or anything, it’s just that wrangling kids is way above his pay grade. He didn’t even get along with other kids when he was a kid. All the other foster kids stood clear of him pretty much as soon as the social worker told his foster parents he was known for being “emotionally dysregulated” and labeling him a problem child.

But this kid is different from all the others, even though Wei Wuxian can’t quite put his finger on what’s so special about him. He seems like the kind of kid who would politely ask for steamed oat milk and say thank you, then ask his parents to let him give Wei Wuxian the tip. When he finishes, he’d probably throw his trash out without anyone asking and call goodbye to him one last time before he leaves. Even just imagining it makes Wei Wuxian feel wistful for something he’s never really wanted before.

It doesn’t help that this kid’s got what must be the fluffiest hair he's ever seen, and those dimples! It takes all of Wei Wuxian’s self-control to keep himself from pinching those chubby cheeks.

He doesn’t quite succeed and leans forward anyway to ruffle the kid's hair. "Ask for water, you silly,” he says, already standing and heading back to the kitchen.

When he hands him the glass, the kid just looks up at Wei Wuxian with his big, bright brown eyes filled with wonder. He’s looking at Wei Wuxian like he has the answer to everything. Wei Wuxian doesn't, but it's nice to feel like someone thinks he knows what he's doing.

The kid drinks half the glass before clearing his throat and finally answering Wei Wuxian’s question. “I’m Sizhui, but you can call me A-Yuan. Or even Little Radish, if you want! You called me that before.” He says it all in one breath, practically vibrating with energy by the end.

Wei Wuxian pauses in the middle of taking a sip of his beer. He’s not sure why he would ever call anyone a radish, and he’s pretty sure he’s never met this kid before. Does A-Yuan have mistaken him for someone else? Could this kid have some weird memory loss, except one where he gains fake memories instead of losing them? It’s definitely not the strangest thing about this whole situation.

Like all problems Wei Wuxian doesn’t know how to deal with, he decides to ignore that for now and asks, “Okay, A-Yuan then, why are you here?”

“Because,” A-Yuan starts, leaning forward and looking at Wei Wuxian with all the seriousness someone pre-puberty could possibly possess. “I need your help.”

“…Okay…” Wei Wuxian replies. The world must truly be fucked if someone is coming to him for help. He hasn’t had a vegetable in a week, unless pizza actually does count. “What do you need help with?”

He’s expecting the kid to say something normal like “my homework” or “getting to the train station”, you know, normal things a kid would ask a stranger to help him with.

He’s not expecting A-Yuan to respond gravely, “To save the world and everyone we love.”

Wei Wuxian blinks, speechless. A-Yuan doesn’t seem to notice, continuing to speak as he lifts his backpack onto his lap and rummages through its contents. “My family’s in trouble, our family. Everyone we know is, and you’re the only one who can fix it. Look here, see, I’ve got this book, it’s all written here. There’s a curse that’s affecting everyone and we need to break it.”

He plops the book down on the coffee table. It’s not at all what Wei Wuxian expects. It’s hand-bound, with a simple red fabric cover that’s blank except for the title that’s written in Chinese calligraphy. It’s written entirely in Chinese, in fact, completely by hand with the same impeccable calligraphy. Inside are what appear to be a bunch of stories or folktales. There are beautiful gongbi illustrations on every other page, inked in bright colors with an incredible level of detail.

Wei Wuxian can’t help but be impressed. The book is something he would expect to see at a museum or in a period drama, not on his coffee table with its chipped surface and water stains.  

A-Yuan flips to a picture of a man with long hair dressed in black and red robes. He’s playing a flute as shadows dance and twist around his frame. Then tendrils lift high into the sky and block out the sun. He’s standing on a pile of human bones, to really sell the whole villain energy this guy’s got.

A-Yuan points at the guy. “That’s you, you see?”

Wei Wuxian does not see, he’s pretty sure he would have noticed if his body was covered in shadows. Also, he would need way more conditioner for that length of hair.

The kid continues, interpreting Wei Wuxian’s stunned silence as something else entirely. “You’re the only one who can help them, who can save us all.” A-Yuan thrusts the scroll out to Wei Wuxian, who’s too floored to do much more than take it from him. “So, I’m here to bring you back.”

Wei Wuxian has to admit, the guy in the picture does look pretty badass. But it’s still just a drawing, and there’s little to suggest this looks anything like him at all.

He glances up. A-Yuan smile is so bright and excited that Wei Wuxian wishes he could feel his excitement too. The guy in the picture does look super cool, like someone he’d want to dress up as when he was A-Yuan’s age.

But all he feels is concern and confusion. Before, he was actually starting to enjoy spending time with this kid, but something is wrong, though it’s not what A-Yuan thinks. There’s a random kid in his apartment late at night, making up stories. And whether he likes it or not, Wei Wuxian is the adult here. He has to remember that.

“I’m sorry, kid,” he says, and the smile slowly drops from A-Yuan’s face and Wei Wuxian feels like the absolute worst person on the planet for doing that to him. “But I don’t know what this is, or who you are. I want to help, you’ve just gotta give me some actual answers. Where are your parents? Do they know where you are?”

A-Yuan looks down and mumbles, “I was so sure you’d remember if you saw this, if you held it.” He tightens the hands on his knees into fists and looks up at him with a startling conviction. “But that doesn’t matter. I know it, I know who you are. You’re Wei Wuxian. This is you. And you’re the only person who can save us.”

Wei Wuxian rubs his temples and contemplates chugging the remainder of his beer. He holds it in his hand, wishing he’d gotten another pack. “Look, I don’t know how you know my name, maybe you saw it on some mail outside or something, but—"

"You're my dad!” A-Yuan hastily interrupts. “That’s why, that’s how I know!"

Wei Wuxian drops the can. There's a splash of something spilling all over the carpet and he should probably make sure it’s not too bad. He's too busy trying to figure out how he could have a ten-year-old at twenty-five when he was definitely still a virgin at fifteen.

The initial shock slips away, leaving him only more confused. He raises an eyebrow at A-Yuan, willing him to explain.

"Not my real dad," A-Yuan says, rolling his eyes like somehow Wei Wuxian is the one claiming something impossible. "But you're my dad in every way that counts."

Wei Wuxian wishes he hadn't dropped his drink. He'd really like to take a sip of it now. And several more, maybe the rest of the cans, too.

This day needs to end. He should have stayed home and drank his way to oblivion, so he’d have been too far gone to answer the door in the first place.

TBC

#i need to remind myself it's okay if no one reads this #i have very little presence in this fandom #but im so excited for this au #mdzs #wangxian #mdzs fanfiction #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #wei wuxian #a-yuan #wen yuan #bushy writing #i need to throw this in the void and then not think about this post ever again sgfsdfjs #this first chapter is 10k words by the way which tells me its only going to get worse #apparently my idea of short preview is 2000 words oops #also i only did a cursery read through and brief error check so if there's something glaringly bad please tell me #im hoping to have the first chapter up sometime in the next week if you want to follow me on ao3! #okay now im gonna go melt away #how obvious is it that i haven't shared my writing with anyone else in over a year

[lady-of-the-lotus]

It’s not Wei Wuxian’s fault that A-Yuan thinks he’s a rabbit, or Jiang Cheng’s fault that toddler Jin Ling used to Zidian to short out the city’s power grid, or Xue Yang’s fault that little A-Qing was strapped to his chest during a motorcycle joyride down the highway, but they are stuck going to family counseling, along with a bored Lan Wangji, a giggly Xiao Xingchen, an out-to-lunch Lan Xichen, and an indignant Jin Guangyao. A lonely Nie Huaisang gets in on the action by joining all twenty group chats and sending way too many gifs.

And, all the while, a rebellion is brewing on Wangxian’s block, their neighbors driven mad by the incessant midnight duets.

Poor Dr. Wen Qing, child psychologist and therapist extraordinaire. What has she done to deserve this?

Read On AO3!

Or read below if the spirit so moves you:

There’s a letter nailed to the door when they arrive home.

Wei Wuxian rips the letter from the nail and reads it aloud.

“ ‘We, the undersigned, do hereby declare Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanji to be persona non grata on Cultivator Court for the following reasons: One: Wild animals leaving unspeakable ‘presents’ on our lawns—’ ”

Wei Wuxian looks up. “That would be Lil’ Apple. Do they sell donkey diapers?”

Lan Wangji unlocks the door. “What else?”

“ ‘Two: Gangs of feral rabbits rampaging through our flower beds!’ –They do have a point here. How they keep getting loose I’ll never know. ‘Number Three: Loud duets at midnight. We get it! You’re in love! Get a soundproof basement or shut the hell up!’ ” Wei Wuxian wrinkles his nose. “Who spit in their bean curd?”

“Where do these people meet, and can I join?” asks Jiang Cheng.

* *  * *

One month earlier:

It's all the daycare’s fault, really. And also the gang’s mutual pediatrician for getting involved and setting them up with a family therapist.

And they all know they should be grateful that the authorities are letting them off easy. But—

Weekly family therapy sessions that double as parenting classes? They all already know how to change diapers and hide the matches and make airplane noises.

And none of it’s not any of their faults. More of a…

“Series of misunderstandings,” explains Wei Wuxian to Dr. Wen Qing. “I’m sure when you hear the full story, you’ll laugh too. Right, Lan Zhan?”

“I don’t think she ever laughs,” whispers Xue Yang to Xiao Xingchen, who can’t see Dr. Wen’s impassive face but dissolves into a fit of giggles anyway.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at the two of them and turns to Dr. Wen. “How long is this going to take? My new fashion line launches next week! I don’t have time for this—ow!” He jerks around at A-Yuan, who's gazing up at him innocently. He glares at Wei Wuxian. “Your carrot-brained little son bit me!”

Wei Wuxian scoops his son up onto his lap. “Don’t worry, A- Yuan, Uncle Cheng didn’t mean it—”

“Thumper!” A-Yuan corrects him.

“I’m sorry. Don’t worry, Thumper , Uncle Cheng didn’t mean it.”

“That’s normal,” says Xue Yang. “ ‘Thumper’?”

Xiao Xingchen hushes him.

“I just meant I’d go for a better name,” Xue Yang goes on. “Like Iago or Mushu if we’re picking from annoying cartoon animals. Doesn’t Thumper get shot?”

“You’re thinking of Bambi,” says Meng Yao irritably. He doesn’t look up from his phone as his finger moves in a blur over the screen. He’s missing several important meetings to be here. “He's the one who gets shot.”

A- Yuan’s eyes are huge. “Bambi gets shot?”

“No, Bambi’s mother gets shot,” Xue Yang explains.

A- Yuan bursts into tears.

Lan Wangji shoots Xue Yang a look that’s pure poison.

Dr. Wen clears her throat. “This is perhaps a good example of the dysfunction that—"

“Don’t worry, Thumper’s parents are just fine!” Wei Wuxian tells A- Yuan, squeezing the boy tighter. “Jiang Cheng, show him their pictures on your phone!”

“Do you think I have cartoon rodents as my wallpaper?”

“Google it!”

“Kid’s got to learn about death sometime.” Xue Yang places a lollipop in A-Yuan’s plump little hand. A-Yuan grins at him through his tears. Xue Yang is the kids’ favorite, to the jealousy of everyone but Xiao Xingchen, who is just as beloved. “See? Now he’ll always remember it as something sweet.”

The entire group gives him a Look, save Xiao Xingchen, who’s smiling and nodding.

Sometimes I think he’s deaf as well as blind , Meng Yao texts the others. There are an endless number of group chats, with most created just to complain about the people not on that specific group chat.

WWX : That’s cruel, but...

Jiang Cheng makes an impatient sound. Jin Ling is perched on his knee, slobbering on his custom lotus-patterned purple leather cell phone case. He takes his phone out of the toddler’s mouth and sets him down on the floor. “Can we move this along? Some of us have better things to do.”

“Yes. Thank you, Mr. Jiang.” Dr. Wen glances around the circle of folding chairs. “Now, do we all know why we’re here? Mr. Xue? Would you like to go first?”

Xue Yang stops picking at his chipped black nail polish. “What?”

“Do you know why you’re here, Mr. Xue?”

“I told A-Qing to stop biting people unless they really deserve it, and besides, she’s fully vaccinated, so I don’t see the problem there—”

“Mr. Xiao? Any ideas?”

Xiao Xingchen clears his throat and shuffles his sandaled feet, nervously smoothing the fringe on his oversized tie-dye poncho. “I’m not exactly sure why we’ve been included in a Jiang family therapy session, to be quite honest.”

“Your husband and daughter have been…implicated in some of the group’s…let’s call them mishaps, and as your daughter has adopted A- Yuan’s rabbit fixa—wait a minute, where is your daughter?”

“Xingchen’s got her,” shrugs Xue Yang.

JC - JGY - WWX - Jin Ling’ Uncles

JGY : *That’s* reassuring...

JGY : They make baby leashes for a reason

WWX : Lan Zhan threatened to buy me one the last time we went to the mall. I was lost for a half hour

JC : Are you sure he wasn’t just trying to lose you in the crowd?

WWX : Actually, I think Lan Zhan *did* buy the leash in the end…

*Jiang Cheng has left the chat*

Dr. Wen inclines her head. “Your husband is beside you, Mr. Xue. Your daughter is not.”

Xue Yang cranes his neck around the room. “I’m sure she’s fine, wherever she is. Unrelated question, are all of the valuables around here locked up, or—?”

“Mr. Xue—”

“We’ll know soon enough anyway. Is there an alarm system? No, don’t tell me. I’d rather be surprised. Be right back.” He tucks his phone inside his ripped black jeans and leaves the room, whistling. The clomp of his heavy combat boots disappears down the hall.

“Don’t worry,” says Xiao Xingchen, who seems to have missed a good half of what his husband has said, as usual. “This happens all the time. A-Qing has an excellent sense of direction.”

WWX - JGY - XY - JC - LWJ - Cabbage Patch Kids

JC : What the hell does that mean? The kid’s like 5

WWX : 3, tops

JC : No way she’s 3. She stole my watch last time she played w Jin Ling

LWJ : Are you certain that wasn’t her father?

NHS : XXC would never hahaha 😭 😭 😭

WWX : Huaisang! Whassup!

NHS:

WWX: You change the chat name again? I like it.

JC: Can he take my place here? This whole thing is inane

WWX : "Inane"! So you *have* been using the Word of the Day calendar Lan Zhan bought you!

JC : Shut up

JGY : Like a 5-year-old stealing a watch makes any more sense than a 3-year-old?

WWX : Oh we’re back on that?

NHS : Who stole who’s what now?

LWJ : *whose

JGY : Jiang Cheng was robbed by a toddler.

JC : Don’t you have some corporate espionage to go do or someone’s job to steal or something?

NHS:

JC: Send one more gif and I reach through your phone and strangle you

NHS:

WWX: Did you watch Shrek again without us? That’s A- Yuan’s fav movie

NHS: ur always so busy w lwj n the baby n playing w ur corpses lately!

Dr. Wen sighs. “All right, then. Who would like to go next? Mr. Jiang? How about you? Phones away, everyone, please.”

Jiang Cheng makes a show of being annoyed at having to look up from his phone. “I shouldn’t even be here. This is idiotic.”

WWX - NHS

WWX: Or “inane”

NHS:

“That’s not what the power company report says, Mr. Jiang. Now, I don’t mean to accuse you of anything, but there are concerns—”

“I swear Zidian was depowered when I gave it to Jin Ling to play with,” Jiang Cheng says irritably. “He teethed on that thing for months as a baby. It’s fine.”

WWX -XY - LWJ - JGY - 🧟 🍬 🐇 🤠

JGY: Did Jiang Cheng just tell a mandated reporter that he let Jin Ling teethe on his magic lightning whip?

XY: dammit Im missing all the good stuff!

LWJ: *I’m

NHS:

JGY: You’re wasting my phone’s memory with these ridiculous gifs.

NHS: *inane gifs

XY: Jiggy why don’t you just have your 🍬 🍭 👦👨 buy you a fancy new phone with more memory?

NHS:

WWX: XY did you find A-Qing?

NHS: He lost A-Qing again?

LWJ: …Again?

XY: NHS do you like your tongue where it is or

NHS:

JGY: ?

XY: fingers. whatever.

WWX: I'm lost too

XY: nvm

JGY: That was edifying.

“Now, Mr. Jiang, I don’t mean to insinuate that you let your three-year-old nephew play unsupervised with a dangerous weapon that mistakenly activated and went on to fry the power grid and knock out all power within a five-mile radius for two weeks—”

JGY: Despicable inefficiency

“—or that you took him to a weapons expo, because, I quote ‘He’s going to have to learn to fight eventually anyway’—”

“It was an archery range.”

WWX - LWJ - NHS - Wen Chao Sucks!

WWX: Start ‘em young

NHS: i think it's inane

NHS: WWX? did LWJ smile at that one?

LWJ: No

WWX: He’s laughing on the inside

NHS: how….inane

“Mr. Jiang? Have you any response?”

Jiang Cheng crosses his arms over his chest. Jin Ling is hopping around on the floor with A- Yuan. Obviously not electrocuted, Jiang Cheng thinks, so what’s the problem? “So when my brother blows out the entire neighborhood’s power doing illegal experiments in his garage it’s okay, but I plug a space heater into the same outlet as a toaster and I’m suddenly the devil incarnate?”

NHS - WWX - JGY - Two Bros & A Guy

NHS : Why would you need a space heater in the kitchen? what I do is turn the oven on and that gets the room all hot

WWX : I think you need a new oven

NHS : Are ovens not supposed to do that??

WWX : Do fridges radiate cold?

NHS : I never thought about it that way 🤔

JGY : In the history of the world, nobody ever has.

WWX : Also, all of my illegal experiments are electricity-free.

JGY : …Jin Ling is never spending the night at your house again.

WWX : I said electricity-FREE!

JGY : Because a fridge full of corpses that you and that psychotic hooligan are trying to raise from the dead is so much better.

WWX : A) it’s a top-of-the-line industrial freezer, not a fridge, and B) those corpses were ethically-sourced—locally-sourced, anyway—

NHS : free-range & organic

WWX : zip it Huaisang

NHS : 🐓

Dr. Wen taps her clipboard with her pen. “Mr. Jiang, nobody's accusing you of anything. This is simply—”

“Whatever. What about him?” Jiang Cheng jerks a thumb at Meng Yao. “At least I didn’t set fire to anything.”

Meng Yao straightens up indignantly. “That was an accident!”

Dr. Wen looks like she wants to go home. “According to the fire marshal’s report, it—”

“I’m so terribly sorry I’m late!” A slightly disheveled Lan Xichen appears in the doorway, Xue Yang behind him. “I locked my keys in the car, and was going to call AAA, but then I remembered that we aren’t members—did you know you have to be a member?—plus my phone—”

Xue Yang slaps him on the back. His other hand, gloved as always, is holding A-Qing by the hand. Her oversized pockets clink suspiciously as she runs to go play with A-Yuan and Jin Ling. Today Xue Yang has dressed her in a pink poodle skirt, black boots with frilly socks, and a black T-shirt with the words “Daddy’s Little Delinquent” in pink script, pulling her hair into spiky little pigtails.

“—and the look the bus driver gave me when I tried paying with the $50 I luckily had in my pocket!”

“He’s telling the truth,” Xue Yang says. Over the years, an odd friendship has sprung up between him and Lan Xichen. “He has a stamped bus pass and everything. Look at the poor man. Had to squash in with the hoi poloi. He won’t be over this for weeks.”

Lan Xichen is blinking too much. “And someone on the bus stole my wallet, though I could have sworn I left the bus with it—”

Xue Yang winks at A-Qing, who grins at him and pats the bulging pocket on her frilly pink skirt.

JC - WWX

JC : Why is my lead fashion designer wearing CROCS??

WWX : His house keys must have been on the same keychain. Lan Zhan said he took today off from work

JC : Okay but why are they orange?

WWX : Not everything he owns has to be blue, you know

JC : His contract clearly states at least three out of every four articles of clothing have to be blue!

WWX : Relax, lil bro

JC : He’s the face of our Overly Elaborate Yet Elegantly Simple Eveningwear division!

NHS : Who is?

JC : GET BIRD BRAIN OFF THIS CHAT OR I SWEAR TO ZIDIAN—

NHS : 😿 who just showed up? Xichen?

WWX : Yup he just arrived after a harrowing bus experience

NHS : https://cutt.ly/Mks2dgu ?

JC : Does anyone actually like when people send them links??

NHS : https://cutt.ly/hks21H8

Meng Yao is wearing what Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang call his "customer service smile," a holdover from his dark days in retail. It's the closest he ever gets to showing irritation towards his fiancé. “Why didn’t you Uber over, Xichen?”

“I locked my phone in the car with the keys—”

“It’s fine, Mr. Lan," says Dr. Wen. "Please have a seat. You’re just in time. After all, you were mentioned by name in the fire marshal’s report, along with the somewhat contradictory descriptions of ‘dazed’ and ‘hysterically sobbing,’ which naturally piqued my interest—”

Lan Xichen seats himself beside Meng Yao. He's still looking somewhat frazzled Then again, his main two facial expressions are “gentle smile” and “mild anxious look.” “That was an accident. The fire, I mean. A little mishap.”

“Gentlemen, all of these incidents cannot be mere ‘accidents’—”

“I was meditating and A-Ling wandered in and knocked over the incense burner,” Lan Xichen explains hurriedly. Meng Yao, well-practiced as he is at hiding his emotions, winces slightly. “The window was open, and there was a breeze, and A-Yao just bought these new gauzy curtains that tend to flap about quite a bit—”

XY - JGY - LWJ - JC - NHS - Crossing Us Is A *Great* Idea

XY : And burn quickly

NHS : What am I missing???

XY : Insurance fraud

NHS:

XY : Yes. We’re all complicit now

JGY : Xue Yang, have you heard of a little something called libel?

XY : 🖕 We should go back to building with asbestos like they did in the good old days

JC : We’re all so glad you’re here, Xue Yang

NHS : I need to adopt a kid so I can join your group or something, this sucks, you get to go this secret club every week, jc I see wwx even less than you do

JC : stop talking

XY : What color baby you want, NHS?

JC : What the hell??

XY : That was a joke

NHS: ....

“…and I was so deep in meditation I didn’t notice the flames until the fire department arrived, but A-Ling was fine, just fine, and all the fire fighters were so very nice…”

WWX : Can confirm. Xichen was more traumatized than the kid. The firefighters had to wrap him in like fifty foil blankets

XY : XXC tells me Himbo stayed with you a full week, was that why? my boy didn't tell me

LWJ : “Himbo”? He got 1600 on his SAT.

XY: Term of endearment he knows he’s my boy plus the guy locked his keys and phone in the car for the second time this month

JC : At least he feels remorse over his child endangerment, unlike certain other people I could mention

LWJ : "Child endangerment"?

XY : Tell us again about how Jin Ling used to teethe on Zidian, JC?

NHS:

“Dr. Wen will be pleased to know that my apartment is now fully equipped with a top-of-the-line sprinkler system,” says Meng Yao smoothly. “No more incense, either. This unfortunate incident will never be repeated again.”

XY - WWX - JC - Odd Man Out

XY : At least not until the insurance money runs out

WWX : 😒

XY : Not that he needs it, after landing Himbo

NHS:

WWX: Those jokes really aren't funny

NHS: 😔

JC: Dammit NHS are you in every chat?? Did you change the chat names? Why aren't you showing up on half the participant lists?? Did you hack our phones or what??

NHS: Don’t be so *inane*

Wei Wuxian titters.

“Mr. Wei? Since you seem so eager to speak, perhaps we should move onto your issues, then.”

Wei Wuxian straightens up and points to his chest, the picture of innocence. “Me?”

Dr. Wen smiles thinly. “You, Mr. Wei. Perhaps you can tell us your side of what the school is referring to as ‘The Radish Incident.’ ”

“Well….” Wei Wuxian darts a glance over at Lan Wangji, who is as impassive as ever. “I was just burying him for fun, you know. We like to pretend he’s a radish—“

“A radish?”

“It’s a…you know. A game. I personally like potatoes better, but—”

“Mr. Wei, several parents complained to the school.”

“Because we were hogging the sandbox.”

“Because your son was running around screaming ‘I’m a chubby little radish boy!’ Which in itself would not be cause for concern. But coupled with his troubling behavior the following week—"

XY - JC - JGY - Two Men & A Half

XY : Where did she get these records? Who does she work for, the NSA?

NHS : She’s an astronaut?

JGY : How did you sneak into this chat? And did you rename it?

NHS : 😉

JGY: You're what, an inch taller than me?

XY: someone struck a nerve

JGY: It's just derivative of the other group chat, that's all.

NHS : u said no to "gettin' jiggy w it" i had no other choice. anyway what's happening over there?

JC : I’ll give Dr. W this, that kid is weird.

NHS : who a-yuan?

JC : I’ll give Dr. W this, that kid is weird.

JC : I mean, he’s my nephew, he’s a great kid, that’s not what I’m meant—

XY : *delete delete*

JC : How does your hippie husband put up with you??

JGY : We suspect brainwashing or blackmail.

“—when he decided he was a rabbit or," Dr. Wen continues, "or, as he put it, ‘Daddy’s Huggy Little Bunny Boy.”

“He is Daddy’s Huggy Little Bunn—"

“And only responds to the name ‘Thumper,’ refuses to eat anything other than carrots or food containing carrots, insists on wearing bunny ears—"

XY - NHS

XY : If it’s good enough for Louis Belcher, it’s good enough for Freaky Little Bunny Boy

NHS:

you watch the show too?? I call mingjue “bob” - u know - grumpy mustache guy

XY : I’m sure that’s gone over well

NHS: he’ll learn to love it

XY : A-Qing loves Louis

NHS:

“—hops around instead of walking, and has convinced others of the same…fantasy.”

Everyone glances over at the three children, who are hopping in a circle. A-Yuan has a fluffy little tail on the seat of his pants, carefully sewn on by Lan Wangji. Jin Ling has a handful of cotton balls that had been badly superglued on by an annoyed Jiang Cheng. And A-Qing has a wad of blue cotton candy taped to her frilly pink skirt with a strip of duct tape. As they watch, Jin Ling rips the cotton candy off and stuffs it in his mouth. A-Qing shoves him onto his cottony rear end.

“That’s my girl!” Xue Yang calls.

“Daddy’s proud of you!” Xiao Xingchen adds, though he’s not quite sure what’s going on.

Dr. Wen sighs. “I’m still unclear about how this started. Was it the rabbit incident? Mr. Lan—" She nods her head at Lan Wangji to differentiate between the brothers. Lan Xichen has fallen asleep in his chair, exhausted by his first-ever bus ride. “—I mean, I beg your pardon, Dr. Lan. Perhaps you can fill us in on that? He told his teacher he was attacked by a rabbit monster."

“So he was bitten by one rabbit!” Wei Wuxian says when Lan Wangji just eyes her coldly. “It wasn’t Lan Zhan’s fault. That rabbit was bad news. It had this gleam in its eye—lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes—"

Xiao Xingchen emits a muffled little squeak. Xue Yang looks annoyed. He hates when other people make Xiao Xingchen laugh.

NHS - JC

NHS:

JC: yes yes we all get the Jaws reference

NHS: the last movie we all watched together : /

JC: yes I just said that

NHS: like three months ago

JC: and?

NHS: just saying...

“He was scared of the rabbits after that, and so Lan Zhan told him that rabbits only bite their own, and, well…I mean, we have a hundred rabbits in our backyard. It was either rehoming them and making the news like those crazy cat people, or making A-Yuan feel better.”

A-Yuan hops past, wiggling his cotton tail.

Jiang Cheng rubs his temples.

“All right, Mr. Wei. Thank you. That’s…elucidating. We’ll delve into that in future sessions. Now, perhaps we can discuss the June 7th incident involving you and Mr. Xue?”

Xiao Xingchen starts to laugh again. Xue Yang grins to himself.

LWJ - JC

LWJ : What happened on the 7th?

JC : Am I my brother’s keeper??

“Now, the seventh? I was…hard to remember, all that time ago…” Wei Wuxian taps his chin. "The mists of time and all that."

“It was three weeks ago, Mr. Wei.”

“The seventh….the seventh…was that a Tuesday—?”

“Wen Chao had it coming,” said Xue Yang. Smirking, he twirls his ponytail around a finger. His ponytail is long and sleek and sprouts from the top of his head like an 80s schoolgirl's. “Amiright, ‘Mr. Wei’?”

Wei Wuxian coughs. “You mean the Wen Chao who lives on Qishan Road? That Wen Chao?”

“That spoiled rich kid?” Jiang Cheng asks. (“As if you’re one to talk,” says Xue Yang.) “With the oversized Humvee and tractor-sized tires with spinning rims? Zipping down the street at all hours and blasting his music? I went to college with him. He used to leave double-deckers in the bathroom at frat parties.”

Dr. Wen swallows a long-suffering sigh. “Thank you, Mr. Jiang. I’m sure that information will prove most helpful in evaluating your brother’s case. Mr. Wei, your arrest, combined with the Huggy Little Bunny Boy Incident, does not fill me with confidence.”

“Not arrested—"

“Taken for questioning,” Xue Yang agrees. “By the neighborhood watch. Golf dads and wine moms. Very different from 'arrested.' "

"And you should know," says Meng Yao.

JC - JGY

NHS : What’s going on? What am I missing????

JGY: Did you just make a new group chat? Your name isn't showing up. This is disconcerting.

NHS: don’t worry about it

JC : We’re talking about Wen Chao

NHS : overcompensating humvee ex-frat boy with the hair gel? vomit in the jacuzzi and streak across the field at the big game wen chao? ur babysitter's cousin?

JC : The very idiot

NHS : He has nice sunglasses

JC : For a Russian mobster

NHS : Says the guy who owns a purple zebra striped jacket

JC : Says the guy with more bird-themed shirts than Winston Bishop

JGY : Touche.

NHS : i didn’t know u watch New Girl 2! we must talk l8tr shorturl.at/vDI26

JGY : Your abbreviations are marginally shorter than the actual words.

NHS :

JC : Cleaning bird cages does take up most of one’s afternoon

NHS : see, u get it

JC : Dr. Wen isn’t buying whatever WWX is selling here.

JGY : Wen Chao is related to Dr. Wen. If WWX had any more sense than a chipmunk, he’d realize that. No matter how much you hate someone, family is family...

“Wen Chao was a public menace,” says Wei Wuxian self-righteously. “He deserved what he got. Speeding down the street all the time. Think of the children!”

LWJ - WWX

LWJ: Why is this my first time hearing about this?

WWX: You’ve heard me complain about WC a million times. I even named a group chat after him!

LWJ: Wei Ying.

WWX: You were off visiting your uncle with A-Yuan ! You left me unsupervised! I am not to be blamed!!!

LWJ: We’ll discuss this later

WWX: 😓

“Perhaps the better question is where you got all those fish,” says Dr. Wen.

Everyone turns to look at Xue Yang.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he grins.

Xiao Xingchen chuckles.

“Five hundred dollars in damages, Mr. Xue. Raw fish juice is difficult to get out of faux tiger fur upholstery, I understand.”

Xue Yang flaps his hand. “His father can afford it.”

“That is not the—" Dr. Wen stops, perhaps realizing that an argument with Xue Yang means forfeiting a chunk of her sanity. “Moving on, Mr. Xue, can you explain this picture you posted on social media?”

“That picture’s an old one. A-Qing’s just a baby.”

“Mr. Xue, given the recent threats you made towards A-Qing’s daycare teacher for putting her in a time-out for stealing her classmate’s graham crackers and apple juice, this is relevant.”

“Posting that to the public account was a mistake, if that’s your concern. My Insta for A-Qing is private, but I was in a candy store and got kind of distracted by the new sugar-frosted fruity explosion jaw-busting mega bombs—"

“You fail to understand the issue, Mr. Xue. What’s that in her mouth?”

“Fingers. Or is that a toe?”

Xiao Xingchen laughs.

“They weren't real,” says Xue Yang.

WWX - JC

WWX:

JC: Great more gifs

“I think I have one with the Halloween store tags still on—" Xue Yang scrolls through the hundreds of photos of A-Qing filling his phone. “Should be one in here somewhere—oh, look, Xingchen, these are from your birthday party; I tell you, Amazo the Magnificent had no sense of humor at all; you’d think nobody had ever replaced his rabbit with a porcupine before-"

Jin Ling hops by. “Rabbit!” he cheers.

Jiang Cheng groans.

“There is blood on the fingers, Mr. Xue.”

Xue Yang gives a breezy laugh. “Paint. The springy plastic is perfect for teething. You just put it in the freezer for a few hours—real fingers wouldn’t work; they’d freeze solid, which makes good ice packs for those hard-to-reach places, sure, but as far as teething goes—”

Dr. Wen holds up a hand. “Thank you, Mr. Xue. That’s enough. My next question is about this speeding ticket, which you received while your daughter was strapped to your chest.”

“She was wearing a helmet!”

“You were driving a motorcycle down the highway, Mr. Xue.”

Xue Yang glances hurriedly at Xiao Xingchen, who’s frowning. “These were two separate incidents—"

“Mr. Xue, I don’t think that that makes it much better—"

“Ouch!” Meng Yao shoots to his feet. “He bit me! Your son bit me!”

Wei Wuxian scoops up A- Yuan, who's looking very satisfied with himself. “You shouldn’t have worn a carrot-orange shirt, then.”

“It’s not orange, it’s beige—"

“Maybe he was aiming for Xichen’s crocs and missed,” Xue Yang suggests.

Meng Yao pats his pockets. “Where’s my phone?”

Xue Yang winks at A-Qing, whose already-stuffed pocket is bulging further. Xue Yang likes dressing her in disarmingly cute dresses and skirts with huge pockets, the better to hide her loot. She grins and twirls a pigtail like Xue Yang twirls his ponytail and skips off with Jin Ling and A- Yuan.

Meng Yao is wearing the fixed smile of a Starbucks barista whose customer just asked to speak to the manager. Never a good sign. “Could somebody be so kind as to call my phone?”

Wei Wuxian makes a show of dialing. No one else moves. Lan Xichen mumbles something to himself in his sleep, chin sunk deep in his chest.

“Sorry, Jiggy,” says Wei Wuxian. “Maybe you left your phone at home?”

“You all saw me using it not a minute ago, and kindly stop calling me Jiggy—"

“A-Yao?”

Meng Yao’s customer service smile slips. “Just stop talking for five seconds, that’s all I ask—"

Dr. Wen shakes her head. At this point she seems more bored than anything else. “Moving along, Mr. Xiao, this is perhaps inconsequential when held up beside your husband’s joyrides with A-Qing—"

“Not a joyride,” Xue Yang interrupts. “That motorcycle is registered in my name. Well, a name—"

“—but A-Qing’s teacher has told me that she witnessed you allowing A-Qing to take candy from strangers.”

“The lady seemed nice,” says Xiao Xingchen, folding his hands placidly in his lap. “She had peppermints.”

Xue Yang sighs fondly.

JC - WWX

NHS: thnx for calling me WWX. reception could be better but this is better than anything on tv. literally candy from strangers?

JC: Dear heaven HE’S back. Just text a chat you're actually on!

NHS: ‘Dear heaven’?

JC: This is inane!

WWX: …not bad

Xiao Xingchen smiles. “She smelled like snickerdoodles and lavender.”

Dr. Wen sighs. “Mr. Xiao—"

“I’ll talk to him later, doctor,” says Xue Yang, patting Xiao Xingchen’s arm reassuringly. “Anything else? What did Mr. Beige do?” He grins at Meng Yao, who’s still looking for his phone.

“Mr. Meng, aside for the fire, which we’ve established is not your fault—though, fiance or not, you should be a bit more judicious in your choice of babysitters—"

Lan Wangji shoots Dr. Wen a look that almost melts the metal clip on her clipboard.

She absorbs it without so much as an eyebrow twitch. “—there is the Treehouse Incident, though I don’t believe the collapse of your nephew’s treehouse was your fault.”

JC - WWX - LWJ - We’re All Cool Here We Promise

NHS : i hear he bought the biggest fanciest one he could then set it up himself and then it fell down at the first storm. if that’s not a metaphor for his life I don’t know what is

JC : That wasn’t funny, someone could have gotten hurt

WWX : it was kind of funny

NHS : it was very funny

LWJ : "Hurt" like a baby at a weapons expo?

NHS : LWJ IN DA HOUSE!

JC : It was an ARCHERY RANGE

LWJ:

NHS: LWJ USED A GIF IM DEAD LMAO—

LWJ: *I’m

“We are suing the playhouse company,” says Meng Yao. “Right, Xichen?”

“Hm?” Lan Xichen sits up with a jerk. “I beg your pardon?”

Meng Yao gives him a patient smile and turns back to Dr. Wen. “As you can see, we have the situation well in hand.”

Lan Xichen has no idea what he’s talking about but nods along anyway. “Of course we do. In fact—" He whips out a recorder and starts playing “Wonderwall.”

“That was…lovely,” says Dr. Wen once he finishes. “Don’t do it again. Now, moving on to the County Fair Incident—"

“Which was an accident!”

“One more interruption, Mr. Wei, and you will be asked to return for solo counseling."

JC - LWJ - XY - NHS - Lan Wangji Pls Stop Vetoing All My Best Chat Names Thnx

NHS : Make him stand in the corner! LWJ, does that ever work at home?

XY : I think he uses *stronger* methods 😏

*Lan Wangji has left the chat*

JC : Xue Yang shut up I will end you that’s my brother

XY : End me with your sparkly little whip? 👀

JC : Your husband’s sitting right next to you you little freak. Allo people are so fricking annoying!

NHS : hey!

JC: I call it as I see it

NHS: your one to talk 😒

*Lan Wangji has joined the chat*

LWJ : *You're

*Lan Wangji has left the chat*

XY : How old were you when you lost your sense of humor, Grape Boy?

JC : “Grape Boy” is that the best you can do?

XY : there are children present

NHS : 🤭 🤭 🤭

JC : Same way there are children present while barreling down the highway at 80 mph on a motorcycle?

NHS:

XY : The state troopers blew that way out of proportion

Dr. Wen taps her clipboard. “Stealing livestock violates Section 2 of the Farm and Livestock Act—”

“No harm no foul,” shrugs Xue Yang. “And Xiao Xingchen gave all the trampled people candy afterward, so we’re all square. Well, snacks, anyway."

“Good snacks,” Xiao Xingchen adds. “Carob-covered rice cakes and trail mix.”

NHS: 🤢

“You can’t just hand out nuts children who might have an allergy—"

“There were also boxes of raisins. Full-size.”

Dr. Wen struggles to keep from rolling her eyes. Jiang Cheng rolls his hard enough for the both of them.

JC - NHS

NHS:

JC: wtf is that get that off my screen

“According to the police report, all three of your children broke into the paddock, released the donkey, and rode him down the main promenade, scattering fairgoers in their wake. I have the video.” Dr. Wen holds up her phone. Loud screams and merry-go-round music blast from her phone. “Mr. Xue? Anything to say?”

“That guy was barely trampled,” says Xue Yang. “Also, I had nothing to do with opening the paddock, whose latch sticks (just by the way), or helping the kids up onto the donkey, so—"

“This was found at the scene.” She holds up black leather necklace with a single red bead. "Look familiar, Mr. Xue?”

Xue Yang touches his bare throat. “I’ve been framed.”

“And this.” She holds up a flute and glances over at Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian darts a quick glance over at Lan Wangji, who does not look amused. Then again, he never does. “Since when was I even a suspect—?"

“Since you left your flute there like an idiot,” says Jiang Cheng.

“Lil’ Apple’s paddock was too small! I had to do something."

“Gentlemen—"

The cuckoo clock on the wall goes off, waking up Lan Xichen, who’s drifted off again. He whips out his recorder again but Meng Yao lays a gently restraining hand on his wrist.

Dr. Wen rises. “We will continue this next week. In the meantime, I have some worksheets—"

JC - NHS

JC : Kill me now

NHS : i wouldnt tempt LWJ if i were u…

JC : not like I take up any of WWX’s precious time anyway anymore. LWJ goes out of town and WWX teams up with that nutcase ex-juvenile delinquent of all people to vandalize WC’s car?? In college we stole WC's team's stupid tortoise mascot together

NHS : …..i'll call u later

JC : Please don’t

NHS :

NHS: u can come over on ur own to watch a movie or smthing u know

NHS: ur new line launched already so ur not so busy now right?

NHS: u can bring jin ling along as a chaperone if u want

NHS: hello?

NHS: that was a joke…

JC: okay but no more romcoms

NHS: u brought mama mia over last time not me

JC: I grabbed the wrong dvd

NHS: …..🤐

JC: 🖕

NHS: 😏 see u soon

* * * *

One month later:

“Best session yet!” says Wei Wuxian as they pull up to his house in Jiang Cheng's sleek purple Jaguar. “I mean, Dr. Wen wasn’t thrilled about the whole ‘our kids visited Nie Huaisang’s bird sanctuary and now think they’re skvaders’ thing, but all in all—"

“Just get out of the car.” Jiang Cheng gives him a little shove. They’d all been busy this past month, and had only seen Nie Huaisang once, but that had been enough to convince the kids that they’re hybrid bunny-birds. “I’ll wait outside while you go and get Jin Ling—" He stops. A letter is nailed to the front door.

“Is someone starting another Protestant reformation?” Wei Wuxian jokes. He grins at Lan Wangji, who raises his eyebrow slightly. Excellent. So he found the joke as funny as he did, though going by the way he eyes the nail he’s not thrilled about what just happened to the door’s glossy blue paint.

Wei Wuxian rips the letter from the nail and starts to read aloud. “ ‘We, the undersigned, do hereby declare Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanji to be persona non grata on Cultivator Court for the following reasons: One: Wild animals leaving unspeakable “presents” on our lawns—’ ”

Wei Wuxian looks up. “That would be Lil’ Apple. Do they sell donkey diapers?”

LWJ unlocks the door. “What else?”

“ ‘Two: Gangs of feral rabbits rampaging through our flower beds!’ –They do have a point here. How they keep getting loose I’ll never know. ‘Number Three: Loud duets at midnight. We get it! You’re in love! Get a soundproof basement or shut the hell up!’ ” Wei Wuxian wrinkles his nose. “Who spit in their bean curd?”

“Where do these people meet, and can I join?” asks Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian slings an arm around his shoulders, the first time in weeks. Jiang Cheng hasn’t seen much of his brother outside of the counseling sessions. “Dr. Wen says that kind of negativity is toxic.”

Jiang Cheng grunts, but lets Wei Wuxian keep his arm on his shoulder. “I’ll show you toxic—”

The babysitter is sitting under the table with Jin Ling and A-Yuan when they enter the house, building a miniature cenotaph made out of blocks.

“The kids okay, Wen Ning?” Wei Wuxian asks him.

Wen Ning peers out from between two chairs. “We were under siege for a couple of hours. Pitchforks and torches, same old thing. But we turned out the lights and stayed away from the windows and made s’mores.”

“So that’s what happened to all the plastic lawn flamingos. Trampled by angry villagers."

Jiang Cheng pinches his temples. “I told you adopting an incontinent donkey was a bad idea. At least keep his paddock locked.”

“We don’t have to tell your sister about this, do we, Wen Ning? …Good. What did the mob look like? Did you catch any names?”

“They were led by a fat man with a goatee and a skinny old guy with beady eyes and a moustache like two long droopy rat tails." Wen Ning crawls out from under the table. “The skinny guy was wearing bright red and blue and purple clothes and the fat guy had a bullhorn. And my cousin Wen Chao was in back yelling something about the rising cost of dry cleaning in this day and age, I think?”

“Yao and Ouyang.” Wei Wuxian makes a face. “Power couple from hell, and I should know. I’ve been there.”

“Are they those nosy neighbors you’re always complaining about?” asks Jiang Cheng.

“They’ve been after us from day one!”

“Well, having that fierce corpse of yours key their car didn’t help.”

“That was an accident.”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“You know, Nie Huaisang has been texting me about this house for sale next door to him,” says Wei Wuxian thoughtfully. “Lan Zhan, maybe we should check it out?”

Jiang Cheng picks up Jin Ling and pats him gently on the back. “You’re just going to have the same problem with the angry villagers, just across town.”

“No, it’s a big corner lot. I’ve seen it. Looks like the Addams Family lives there. Comes with its own little graveyard and everything. Huaisang’s family owns it, and they’ve been trying to unload it for months, but everyone thinks it’s haunted just because of that time I brought those fierce corpses with me on a visit and they got loose—but that’s neither here nor there. It’s perfect!”

Lan Wangji nods.

“Whatever.” Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “Let’s get going, A-Ling.”

Once he’s strapped Jin Ling into his car seat, he takes out his phone.

JC - NHS

JC : Your plan worked

Nie Huaisang:

???

Jiang Cheng: yeah. Thanks for riling them up behind my brother’s back all month. Class move. Direct and straightforward

NHS:

NHS: not that they needed much inciting. wwx blowing up the garage was the last straw

JC : was still weirdly convoluted for no reason

JC : Not sure why you had to get me involved either

NHS: says the guy who lives 20 blocks away but still volunteered to file the noise complaint because, i quote, “the duets *R* annoying”

JC : well you can’t file a complaint about them stopping mid-conversation with you to gaze soulfully into each others’ eyes for ten minutes

NHS : *snort*

JC : If you miss WWX so much 🙄 why didn’t you just tell him straight out instead of pulling this shtick?

NHS:

NHS : there’s another house available down the street just fyi…

NHS: my big fat greek wedding sat night? u bring the dvd n i’ll get the pizza

Shaking his head, but smiling to himself, Jiang Cheng starts the car.

#wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #mdzsnet #nie huaisang #xue yang #lan xichen #wen qing #wen ning #xiao xingchen #xuexiao #xiyao #wangxian #a-qing #jin ling #lan sizhui #jin guangyao #meng yao #lan zhan #cql #mdzs #the untamed #the untamed fanfic #the untamed crack

[coffintownkids]

Alrighty! Ch. 32 is done and such brings an end to the 朝露 arc. I’m sure y’all remember the cute scene in The Untamed/CQL when WWX comes across a group of kids playing make-believe about the Sunshot Campaign. This is the chapter where that takes place. However, as previously mentioned, we’ve actually never met pretty much any of the characters involved first-hand. So this is again slowly filling the readers in about how the world perceives all these characters.

I couldn’t decide what part I liked best...So you get the entire scene! Very long post beneath the cut.

*EDITED* @weishenmewwx was nice enough to help me fix a couple of errors. Thank You!!!

The group of children stopped chasing it, then gathered together to start seriously wracking their brains over it, “What do we do since no one shot down the Sun? It fell by itself, so who’s the Leader now?”

One of them raised a hand, “It’s obviously me! I’m Jīn Guāngyáo and I killed the greatest villain from the House of Wēn!”

Wèi Wúxiàn sat on the inn’s front steps and watched on with great pleasure.

In games like this, there was boundless high regard for the Chief Cultivator Liǎnfang-Zūn. Of course, everyone would welcome playing that role the most. Although his background made people too embarrassed to speak of it, it was precisely because of it that him climbing to the highest position made people gasp even more in admiration of his achievements. During the Sunshot Campaign, he had acted as a spy for a number of years and had been a natural at it. He had run around in circles deceiving the entire Wēn Sect of Qíshān both inside and out, having them divulge countless secrets without even realizing it. After the Sunshot Campaign, he was fawned over in every possible way with terrific amounts of cleverness and an extreme variety of methods. Finally, he took the position of Chief Cultivator and became the person fully deserving of ranking first among the multitude of cultivation Houses. Such a life can be called legendary. If was playing, he would also want to try out for the part of Jīn Guāngyáo. Picking this little boy to be the Leader was just common sense!

So JGY is super well-liked by everyone, or so we’re led to believe at this point in the story. It’s mentioned in the novel very early on that he is JGS’s bastard, but it’s definitely pretty much glossed over and this certainly makes it sound like nobody cared about his “embarrassing” history. (We will come to learn this is, in fact, bullshit.) BUT, WWX does seem to think quite well of him.

Fun language bit about the “fawned over in every possible way with terrific amounts of cleverness and an extreme variety of methods.” The sentence uses 百般, 千般, 万般 to show the increase of how much praise got heaped upon him as 百=100, 千=1,000, and 万=10,000.

My other takeaway, which I think the show did a pretty bad job at conveying, was the passage of time and that JGY was actually with the Wēn Sect for years.

Moving on.

Another one of them protested, “I’m Niè Míngjué and I’ve won the most battles and have had the most captives surrender to me. I should be the Leader!”

‘Jīn Guāngyáo’ said, “But I’m the Chief Cultivator.”

‘Niè Míngjué’ raised his fist, “So what if you’re Chief Cultivator. You’re also my sān-dì, so you won’t see me running off with my tail between my legs.”

As expected, ‘Jīn Guāngyáo’ was rather well-suited at getting into character. He hunched his shoulders and ran away.

Sān-dì (三弟) just means third brother. AKA JGY was the youngest within 3zun.

Then another kid said, “You’re the one that died young.”

Since he had chosen to be a certain cultivation head, he naturally had been looking forward to being said cultivation head a little bit. ‘Niè Míngjué’ got mad, “Jīn Zixuān, you died earlier than I did. You had an even shorter life!”

‘Jīn Zixuān’ was unconvinced, “So what if I died younger? I was ranked Number Three!”

“Being ranked Number Three just means your looks were ranked Number Three!”

At that point, one of the little boys seemed tired of both running and standing, so he slowly walked over by the steps and sat down by Wèi Wúxiàn. He waved his hand like he was some sort of mediator and said, “Alright already, there’s no need to fight about it. I’m the Yílíng Lǎozǔ, so I’m the most awesome.”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “……”

He glanced down and, sure enough, the little kid was carrying a little branch at his waist that was probably meant to be Chénqíng.

There was actually a child pure enough to not bother arguing about good and evil. He was only debating the value of combat abilities and had willing taken up the honor of being the Yílíng Lǎozǔ.

Another kid said, “No way. I’m the Sāndú Shèngshǒu and I’m the most awesome.”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ rather understandingly said, “Jiāng Chéng! What can you do that’s better than me? When haven’t you lost to me? How is it a good idea for you to say you’re the most awesome? Aren’t you embarrassed?”

‘Jiāng Chéng’ said, “Hmph! How am I better than you? Do you remember how you died?”

Wèi Wúxiàn’s faint smile got wiped right off his face once his meaning sunk in.

It was like being jabbed with a highly poisonous needle without warning and it sent faint prickling pain throughout his entire body.

Oof. That is a lot.

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ next to him clapped, “Look at me! On my left is Chénqíng, on my right is the Tiger Seal. Plus I have the Ghost General. There are none beneath Heaven that are my equal! Hahahaha…” He had a stick in his left hand, a stone in his right, and was laughing hysterically, “Wēn Níng, come out!” A kid in the back of the crowd raised his hand and weakly said, “I’m here…that’s…I want to say…during the Sunshot Campaign, I didn’t die, either...”

Wèi Wúxiàn felt that he couldn’t not interrupt.

He said, “Fellow cultivators, can I ask you a question?”

The children had never had an adult take part when they played this game before, let alone one that didn’t scold them and was completely serious about asking them a question. The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ was giving him a strange and guarded look as he said, “What do you want to ask?”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Why don’t you have any people from the Lán Sect of Gūsū?”

“We do!”

“Where are they?”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ pointed at a kid that hadn’t opened his mouth to say a single word from the start, “That’s him.”

Wèi Wúxiàn looked at him and, sure enough, he was completely fine-featured and looked like a charming child. He had a clean, white string wrapped around his forehead to serve as his head ribbon. He asked, “Who is he?”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ disdainfully curled his lip and said, “Lán Wàngjī!”

…Great. This group of children grasped his essence. If you’re playing the part of Lán Wàngjī you really ought to shut up and not talk!

Then suddenly, the corners of Wèi Wúxiàn’s mouth began to curl again.

That little poisoned needle got pulled out and he didn’t know what cranny it got tossed into, but all the stinging pain had instantly been swept away. Wèi Wúxiàn said to himself, “It’s both wonderful and strange. He’s such a stuffy person. Why does he always make me feel so happy?”

*yelling* Why does he make you so happy, WWX? Any guesses?

I’ve seen this translated as “boring” instead of “stuffy” so I’ll explain a bit. The word used is 闷 (mèn) which can be read as boring, so that’s not wrong. But, it’s a little more nuanced than that. It can also mean something “sealed tight” or “suffocate” or “shut indoors.” Like how a hot room without circulation can be called “stuffy.” But in English, we can use stuffy to mean someone that’s kinda old-fashioned and very stuck on being prim and proper. Which certainly is someone people might consider “boring”! I just didn’t think “boring” alone really captured it though.

Of course, this is when LWJ finally emerges from his Fortress of Solitude (after needing time to get through his Gay Panic.)

When Lán Wàngjī came downstairs, he saw Wèi Wúxiàn sitting on the steps and sharing a steamed bun with a group of children. Wèi Wúxiàn was eating his bun while directing two children that were back-to-back in front of him. “……There are currently countless Wēn cultivators before. They’re all armed and they’ve got you completely surrounded. Keep your eyes sharp. Yes, just like that. OK. Lán Wàngjī, pay attention. This isn’t the current you during peacetime. You’re covered in blood! Your killing intent is so heavy! Your expression is so fierce! Wèi Wúxiàn, get a bit closer to him. Aren’t you going to twirl your flute? Let’s see you twirl it one-handed. Have pizzazz. Do you know what pizzazz is? Come let me teach you.” ‘Wèi Wúxiàn’ made an “oh” sound and handed over the thin stick he was carrying. Wèi Wúxiàn rather skillfully and swiftly twirled ‘Chénqíng’ around between two of his fingers, causing the group of kids to whoop with excitement.

Lán Wàngjī, “……”

He quietly walked over and Wèi Wúxiàn saw him coming, so he brushed off the dust from his backside and called out his goodbyes to the kids. It had been so easy to just stand up and walk along the road with a smile. It was oddly like being drugged.

Lán Wàngjī, “……”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “Hahahahahaha, I’m sorry, Hánguāng-Jūn. I ended up sharing the breakfast I bought for you with them. I’ll buy more for us in a moment.”

Lán Wàngjī, “Okay.”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “How about it? Weren’t those two kids just now cute? Who do you suspect the kid with the string around his head was imitating? Hahahaha…”

He was speechless for a moment, then Lán Wàngjī ultimately couldn’t help saying, “……What exactly did I do last night?”

It definitely couldn’t have been anything simple. Otherwise, why did it make Wèi Wúxiàn keep laughing???

Wèi Wúxiàn kept waving his hand, “No, no, no, no, no. You didn’t do anything. I was just being silly, hahahahahaha…Alright, ahem, Hánguāng-Jūn, I swear I’ll talk business.”

Lán Wàngjī said, “Go ahead.”

Apparently WWX missed his calling and should have gotten into theater!

And poor LWJ is still panicking.

So now they’re off to Shǔdōng and we’ll be starting the Yi City arc next.

#mdzs #ctk reads mdzs #mdzs translation #my translation

[llycaons]

ep20 (2/3): *lwj voice*: something is very wrong

"and others have to suffer because of your debt?" wwx's similarities with wzl are impossible to ignore. but wwx would never hurt innocent people, or allow them to be hurt, because of his gratitude. there are limits to loyalty, and his conscience demands he act even if it's against his obligation. he's still able to make his own decisions, he's still a free agent

I would call that 'horror' or 'alarm'. jc is still like 'hmmm' but lwj is like 'this is fucked this is fucked this is fucked wei ying what are you DOING'

kitty cat moments

HEY WHY DOES WZL JUST STAND THERE AND LET HIM PLAY. if he prevents wwx from making sounds, wwx can't summon spirits. he's less than a foot away and not defending himself at all. eh maybe it's his honor code

by the time he does attack, wlj and jc jump down and jc strangles wzl to death with zidian, no complaints there + good for him and givees wwx back his sword

his little bitter smile. oof.

this hug is one of the best moments in the show it makes me feel so much. and wwx doesn't even list his arms to hug back until it's too late and jc is already stepping away FUCK

good for you, jc! expressing your emotions! telling people who you love that you care about them!

read a really interesting meta ages ago about how wwx deliberately sets jc between himself and lwj, using jc as both a shield and a tool to deflect lwj's inevitable questions and painful condemnation. and it starts here, with moving to sit down. it's also almost a power play

stop hurting me wwx

wwx says don't let outsiders in and jc remembers that lwj is there and goes yeah you got it

another suble manipulation of wwx's, but only to protect himself

where did this boy go....he used to be able to say things like this 😭

and here's jc joining forces with wwx against lwj, who's standing in front of them like a petitioner, and who wwx has barely even looked at

this is exactly how jc is written in a lot of fics that piss me off. this tsundere-esque approach is actually canonical to jc's current relationship dynamics with wwx, it's just not how they interact with each other postres. it annoys me because it's treating jc like an affectionate, if sarcastic and repressed 18 year old who hugged his brother instead of the bitter, deeply wounded man who traumatized him without remorse and tried to kill him multiple times. it's inaccurate, and it's infantalizing, and it lets jc off the hook for the horrific things he does to wwx later in the story by treating him like an awkward kid who can't communicate well instead of an adult who's responsible for the terrible things he's done and the choices he's made

but I like this dynamic. I think it's fun, and sweet, and has personality. i wish we had it back too. I understand the nostalgia

everything about this interaction is so wrong. wwx barely interacting with lwj, being all formal, standing to bow, calling him hgj. the last time they saw each other wwx had asked lwj to sing for him and lwj had given him a song he wrote for them....I'd be freaked out and worried too. but lwj goes about expressing his concern in all the wrong ways

demanding answers. laying down judgement. telling him to return to gusu. of course wwx shies away

he's distancing himself to protect himself. he doesn't want to be the one who lwj leaves, he wants to be in control of how their relationship ends, as he assumes it must end. and he knows nothing good will come to him if he goes to gusu, and that must hurt too because he wants to cultivate the sword again but he never will

this is such a cruel thing to say to lwj...wwx who is the one acting cold suddenly!

and THIS shot. shew. lwj physically trying to get to wwx to demand what's going on, why is he acting like this, why is he not cultivating the sword, why is he using such terrible methods, and jc stepping in as wwx's shield to say this doesn't concern you. the contrast between this scene and postres scenes. wild

#cql re-rewatch #THATS RIGHT. THERE'S MORE

[meltingheartsandcores]

Yoooo your new fic is so cool!! How will lwj react to finding out about his daughter?

So, when I wrote the story, I had no idea, hence why I ended it there. But I was thinking on how to answer this last night, and ended up writing an entire second chapter at like one am. And then editted it through my Bio lecture (which was not my best idea but it’s just a kahoot quiz rn so not that bad of idea) but also means it’s lightly editted at best, sorry.

Oh and for Daiyu’s characters, I’ve lost the file that initially had them, but I’m like 80% sure they were 黛玉 which should be Dark Jade if I’m not wrong.

Anyways, hope you enjoy the story, I’ve put this under a read more because it’s long, lol.

Lan Wangji was not happy when Lan Xichen revealed that they did not know where Wei Wuxian was. Nie Mingjue was not happy with Lan Wangji pouting, so Lan Xichen had to stop several attempts of just telling Lan Wangji the school they had picked the kids up at yesterday and the park.

Just because they found out about Daiyu that way, does not mean Wangji has to. In Lan Xichen’s opinion at least. Truly it was up to Wei Wuxian.

So, while Nie Mingjue was cooking breakfast, Lan Xichen texts Wei Wuxian a very simple;

Wangji is here. Would you like to see him?

The question feels a little ridiculous to ask, after all they had just cleared up a major misunderstanding, the only reason Lan Xichen was aware of that they broke up, why wouldn’t Wei Wuxian want to see Lan Wangji? Then again, it has been five years. While Wei Wuxian asked after Lan Wangji’s relationship status, he gave nothing of his own. Aside from the fact that he was living with Wen Qing.

Who, to Lan Xichen’s knowledge, Wei Wuxian hadn’t been all that close to before they had broken up. And considering he was told the Wens moved away from the city barely a week after Wei Wuxian left the Jiangs, there wasn’t much time for him to get so attached to move across the country with them.

So, while waiting for Wei Wuxian to text back, Lan Xichen did his best to distract Lan Wangji. Except, Lan Wangji was not having it.

“Xiongzhang,” Oh that tone was not good. “If Wei Ying does not wish to see me, just tell me.” Lan Wangji asks, sounding serious but looking, to Lan Xichen at least, like if he did as asked he would be breaking Lan Wangji’s heart.

“I’m sure Wei Wuxian wishes to see you. The problem is, is that this is now rather fresh for him. And there are some things he’s told me that make me concerned to just, point you in his vague direction.” Lan Xichen explains since, yes, it was odd for him to be restraining Lan Wangji. In their teenage years Lan Xichen all but pushed Lan Wangji to hang out with Wei Wuxian. And sometimes he did, actually physically push Lan Wangji to hang out with Wei Wuxian.

“He disappeared five years ago without a word.” Lan Wangji states, reminding himself of that oddity before asking, “What happened?”

And the conversation Lan Xichen did not want to have. “After he left the Jiang family, he came to the house to spend the night as he hadn’t expected to be kicked out so soon. You were out with me,” Lan Wangji nods, remembering the night he very much did not want to spend out of the house, “so Uncle answered the door. He told Wei Wuxian you wanted nothing to do with him, and to never contact the Lan family again.” Lan Xichen admits, wincing when Lan Wangji’s eyes go coldly furious. “Of course, this is only what Wei Wuxian has told me, I have not had the chance to hear what Uncle has to say on this.” Lan Xichen reminds, but it didn’t matter. Lan Wangji cared about what Wei Wuxian heard, not what their Uncle meant all those years ago. It does, at this point, seem more important. Even if Uncle hadn’t said so in so many words, it did result in Wei Wuxian disappearing for five years with Lan Wangji’s daughter.

“You should speak to him.” Lan Wangji states coldly, clearing meaning for Lan Xichen to get an explanation that does not result in Lan Wangji dropping contact with all of them and moving in with Wei Wuxian.

Lan Xichen’s not entirely sure that’s not going to happen anyways, considering Daiyu.

Thankfully, Lan Xichen’s phone goes off with an alert, and he’s relieved to see Wei Wuxian texted him back, and the message also relieves, a little.

What the fuck. How the fuck did he get here. I’m not kidding, the trains don’t run overnight here, it’s literally impossible for him to be here. What the fuck. Oh, but, send him to the Starbucks. There’s literally only one in the town so. I’ll meet him there at 10

The idea of going to Starbucks makes Lan Xichen want to send Wangji to the park, but he ignores it and instead repeats the place and time, and Lan Wangji immediately gets on his phone to get a cab to the city. Lan Xichen could offer to drive Lan Wangji himself, or even their car, but he wants some time with Nie Mingjue. And he wants their car at their place tomorrow morning, which if all goes well, Lan Wangji will not be returning to the cabin.

So he lets Lan Wangji leave in a cab.

--

Lan Wangji will admit his actions the previous night were illogical. And rude. First he hung up on his brother, then he ran out on his Uncle without a word (although considering what Lan Xichen told him, he doesn’t feel bad about it anymore) and paid a lot of money to be taken to the rather remote town Wei Wuxian had decided to live in. But now that he knows where Wei Wuxian was, how close he was, he was more than eager. He had been looking for Wei Wuxian for the past five years, never with any success. He had never been sure what had caused Wei Wuxian to leave without a word before, always thought to the weeks previous for anything he’d done. Now that he knows the truth...

He wishes he never agreed to go out with Lan Xichen that night.

But he cannot change the past. All he can do is cherish and love Wei Wuxian now.

Even if that means going to Starbucks.

Lan Wangji pays the cab and walks up to the Starbucks. He can’t help the face he makes, the places are always too loud for him, and it’s a show of excess that makes him twitch. Wei Wuxian always liked them, so he always made an effort to at least tolerate the places, but he couldn’t help the cringe.

Of course, the cringe drops from his face as he hears a familiar bark of laughter, snapping his head to the side to see Wei Wuxian. Looking the same as ever. No. Not the same. Older. More lines, more age, but no less beautiful. With a bling bright smile, “What’s with Lans and Starbucks?” Wei Wuxian asks laughing.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji whispers, before processing the question and answering, “You know our principles, do you not think it’s the opposite of everything we value?”

Wei Wuxian shrugs, tilting his head to the side, “I guess. Counterpoint, their Frappuccino’s are delicious.”

“Excessive amounts of sugar.” Lan Wangji counters, feeling sixteen again and like lecturing Wei Wuxian on what those drinks will do to his health.

“Hey, some sugar is good. Besides, I don’t think I ever got you to try their Matcha Frapp.” Wei Wuxian says, grabbing Lan Wangji’s arm and dragging him into the Starbucks.

“Why.”

“Why not?” There was the smile again, bright and beautiful.

And Lan Wangji couldn’t argue. This Starbucks was quieter, than the ones Wei Wuxian would drag him to years ago, Wei Wuxian orders quickly for them both, and Lan Wangji did nothing but stare.

“Aiyah, Lan Zhan, what’s with the staring?” Wei Wuxian asks after noticing while waiting for their drinks, an amused smile gracing his lips.

Lan Wangji debates his answer, he could say many things, most would probably make Wei Wuxian blush, but in the end he decides on, “Worried Wei Ying will disappear again.”

Wei Wuxian huffs a laugh, “Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying shakes his head, and then his smile drops, which makes Lan Wangji furrow his brow, “So, how much did Lan Xichen tell you?”

“He told me you were here. And what Uncle said. Which was untrue.” Lan Wangji states, not sure what else there was to say. Perhaps how Wei Wuxian chose this place?

Wei Wuxian chuckles, “Yeah, Lan Xichen made that clear yesterday.” Wei Wuxian scratches his nose three times, clearly thinking about something, considering his next actions. Normally it would predate a prank, but Lan Wangji has the distinct feeling Wei Wuxian is not going to be pulling pranks right now. “So, he just said that?” Lan Wangji nods, becoming confused. “Let’s wait for our drinks.” Wei Wuxian decides, confusing Lan Wangji further, but all he does is nod. For now, he’s fine with Wei Wuxian setting the pace.

When they get their drinks and sit down, Lan Wangji eyes his green frapp with contention, only taking a sip when prompted by Wei Wuxian. It wasn’t, terrible. He still didn’t like it. But it was better than the other frapps Wei Wuxian has had him try over the years.

He still didn’t drink more beyond that sip.

Wei Wuxian sighs and sips at his drink a little, before setting it aside, “Well, I suppose I can’t do this the same way I did it with Lan Xichen and Dage.” Lan Wangji furrows his brow slightly, becoming confused once more. “Not unless you’re willing to wait five hours.” Lan Wangji shakes his head, he was not in the mood to be waiting today. Not for long. He’s finally seeing Wei Wuxian again. Wei Wuxian nods, “Didn’t think so. Uh, so. How to say this...”

“You say what you are thinking.” Lan Wangji states, almost on reflex, having said it to Wei Wuxian so many times when they were together, when Wei Wuxian was having trouble putting words to his thoughts.

“I’m thinking how to tell you I was pregnant without breaking your brain.” Wei Wuxian retorts, clearly on reflex, as he always would when Lan Wangji would make that remark. Normally it allowed for Lan Wangji to assist in phrasing, as while Wei Wuxian was better at conversational talking than Lan Wangji, he also typically just trailed off and made half sentences he expected the people around him to understand. While Lan Wangji would consider his words until he knew exactly what he was going to say. Making it easier sometimes, for Lan Wangji to assist.

This time however.

Lan Wangji blinks.

Once.

Pregnant.

Twice.

Pregnant

Thrice.

‘Wei Ying was pregnant when he left.’

Four times.

“And I broke you, shit.” Lan Wangji was not truly paying attention to Wei Wuxian, he should be. Now more than ever. But he can’t.

‘Wei Ying and I had a child.’

‘Wei Ying and I have a child’

No. Maybe not. Wei Wuxian could've- “Did you keep it?” Legally, Wei Wuxian wouldn't have been able to abort without Lan Wangji's permission. But then, legality has never been a concern to Wei Wuxian for all Lan Wangji has known him.

Wei Wuxian blinks, clearly caught off guard by the question. “Uh, yeah. Her name is Daiyu, she’s four. Turning five. In a couple of months actually.”

“Daiyu.” Lan Wangji repeats, nodding, it’s a nice name. She’s four. “May I meet her?” Did Wei Wuxian want him in her life? Did he want Lan Wangji in his? Maybe he met someone else? Maybe what Uncle said stuck with him hard enough that he doesn’t want anything to do with Lan Wangji anymore.

“Well. She’s at school. Well, not school. Qing-jie said she could start next year if she really wants to, but four is too young.” Wei Wuxian shrugs, “I didn’t start school til I was nine so, I don’t really have an opinion. Or, I don’t get one.” That felt wrong. But Lan Wangji has not being helping Wei Wuxian, so, he also does not get an opinion. He thinks. “But there are these activities that go on at the school. From eight to eleven, and then from twelve to three. Technically she’s too young for those too, but the organizer is scared of Qing-jie, so, she’s allowed.” Wei Wuxian nods, “Our daughter is terrifyingly smart Lan Zhan. She might take over the world.”

“She will deserve it.”

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian exclaims, “You cannot endorse your daughter taking over the world.”

“If she can do it, why shouldn’t she?”

Wei Wuxian’s mouth moves, clearly intent on saying something but nothing comes out but a bark of laughter, “Holy shit. Wen Qing is never going to believe me being the sane parent. What the fuck.”

Ah, too much? He does have four years to make up for. Besides, why shouldn’t he support their daughters business ventures? Or would this be politics? Ah, it would be politics. In that case, “Not until she is at least fourteen.”

“...You’re so going to be the soft parent.” Was Wei Wuxian’s only comment. Then he checks his phone and stands up, “We should start walking over to the school. You can meet Daiyu, and we’ll see if she took our conversation last night to heart.”

Lan Wangji furrows his brow slightly at that, standing as well. Did, Did Daiyu not have a high opinion of him? No, of course she wouldn’t. No matter what Wei Wuxian said, he has been absent. Wei Wuxian chucks both their drinks, which seems like a horrible waste but Lan Wangji was not about to suggest he actually finish that drink, so he follows Wei Wuxian out without comment.

“Does she not like me?” Lan Wangji asks as Wei Wuxian leads them to the school.

Wei Wuxian hums, “It’s not that. It’s just, ok, for the past five years, it’s been the general belief that you essentially had your Uncle break up with me for you in like, the shittiest way. So, in general the Wens aren’t the Lans biggest fans. After Lan Xichen explained what actually happened, the adults are all coming around. Daiyu seemed to be also, but it might still take a while. I mean, yesterday she thought you wanted nothing to do with her.”

“Incorrect.” Lan Wangji would never not want anything to do with his child. He only wishes he had known about her sooner.

Wei Wuxian snorts, “Yeah, explained it to her last night. We shall see if she remains unconvinced.”

He hopes not. He would like to meet her. He would like to help raise her. He should move out here. “If Daiyu is amicable, how do you feel about me moving out here?” He should ask. It might be overstepping. They did break up five years ago, technically.

Wei Wuxian blinks, clearly surprised, “Ah, to spend time with Daiyu? I don’t know how your uncle would feel if you moved out here, maybe you could use the Nie’s cabin every few weeks, for visitation? That way you could still work, and meet people.”

Why would Lan Wangji want to meet people? He hates people. Wait. Lan Wangji considers the words, coming to the conclusion that it was a euphemism. But for- Oh. Ew. “No people. Only Wei Ying.”

Now Wei Wuxian was surprised and confused, and he chuckles awkwardly, “Lan Zhan, it’s been five years.”

“It’s only ever been Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji affirms, then, softer, “If Wei Ying no longer wishes for a relationship...” it would hurt, but he would get over it.

(He would not. He would spend his decades with the bunnies Wei Wuxian got him writing sappy love songs. As he’s been doing for five years. Although, in those decades, he might actually relent to Nie Huaisang’s plans of recording and selling those songs.)

Thankfully Wei Ying shakes his head, “Ah no! That’s not-” Wei Ying nods, and steals Lan Wangji’s wording, “Only Lan Zhan.”

It makes Lan Zhan smile softly, entirely entranced by Wei Wuxian, entirely in love with the man in front of him.

When they arrive at the school, there are children running about the front area on the grass. “Oh, they must’ve let out early. We still have ten minutes.” Wei Wuxian comments idly. Lan Wangji was curious as to what he planned for them to do for ten minutes, but that was moot now. Instead, Wei Wuxian was scanning the yard, presumably for Wei Daiyu. Eventually he seems to find her since he makes several ‘come over’ motions.

Soon enough a small child barrels into Wei Wuxian’s legs. “Oof. Nice to see you again too.” Wei Wuxian jokes, smiling down at their daughter.

Daiyu doesn’t look at Wei Wuxian, instead, still clinging to Wei Wuxian’s leg, she turns her head slightly to look at Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji’s breath catches in his throat, she had Wei Wuxian’s nose and chin. He crouches down to be on her level. “I am Lan Wangji, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Wei Daiyu.”

Wei Wuxian snorts, “You don’t need to be formal with your own daughter Lan Zhan. A-Yu,” Wei Wuxian puts a hand on Daiyu’s back, making the young girl look up at him, “this is your A-Die.”

Daiyu returns her gaze to Lan Wangji, “Why are you here now?”

“I was told where you were.” Lan Wangji states truthfully.

“How come you didn’t look for us?” Daiyu demands.

“I did.” Lan Wangji admits, making Wei Wuxian stop, blinking in shock, “But your A-Niang is very good at disappearing.”

Daiyu seemed to consider before nodding, accepting that answer, “Are you staying?”

“If you’ll let me. If you want me here, I will be here for you, for the rest of my life.” Lan Wangji promises.

Lan Wangji worries, for a moment, that they were the wrong words as tears well up in Daiyu’s eyes, but then she was in his arms, burying her face in his shirt, soaking it with tears and snot- not that Lan Wangji minded- telling him he was never allowed to leave. Lan Wangji wraps his arms around his daughter, holding her close with a soft smile on his face.

So, they were the right words.

Lan Wangji smiles up at Wei Wuxian, who seemed utterly relieved and happy, just smiling softly at the pair, Lan Wangji knows he still irrevocably in love with Wei Wuxian, and seeing him like this makes him confident that Wei Wuxian still loves him. With that, Lan Wangji knows with absolution, that he's moving out here.

Whether he tells anyone is still up for debate.

#Lan Wangji #Wei Wuxian #LWJ #wwx #my writing #Lan Xichen #Five Year Misunderstanding #cql #the untamed #also i learnt that kids start school at six/seven in china #so Daiyu has activities at the school\ #and wwx wanted lwj to meet ayuan hence the wait until school was actually done #if Daiyus characters are wrong or something else is wrong pls tell me #I literally wrote this in an hour last night and have barely editted it #but also wanted to post it because I won't until next week if i don't now

[julieandthefandoms]

Housefull 2 MDZS/The Untamed AU

HELLO THERE MY LOVELIES! I’M MAKING A WILD TUMBLR REAPPEARANCE AND I BRING WITH ME SHINY NEW SHOWS I’VE WATCHED AND PERHAPS THE GREATEST AU I’VE EVER WRITTEN DOWN! 

Okay, so, I’m going to preface this by saying that I finally watched the Untamed over the past summer and now am slightly obsessed. I am also in the middle of reading the novel and watching the animation, so... that’s something.

Anyway, today, I decided that it would be a good idea to rewatch my favorite childhood film, a little Bollywood comedy titled Housefull 2. Upon rewatching this, I realized that the MDZS characters would fit really well into the convoluted mess of this plot and so I wrote a little bullet pointed AU idea thing. 

(I don’t think I’ll have the time to write this, so if anyone wants to use this concept, pleaseeee tag me/tell me about it. Also, if anything like this is already written, pleaseee tell me too, I need the crack content.) (I’m also desi, by the way, so I don’t know much about Chinese culture, so please tell me if anything is offensive or just plain inaccurate.)

So, without further ado, I’ll be presenting this Housefull 2 MDZS/The Untamed AU! 

-As per canon, JZX is emotionally constipated and couldn’t communicate until after his engagement with JYL got split up. Having made their sister cry, JC, WWX, and NHS (who gets roped into it) plan to crush JZX for hurting JYL. 

-They send WQ to crush JZX by breaking his heart but give her such vague instructions that she accidentally falls for Mianmain. 

NHS: “So... who’re we supposed to use to crush this Peacock. I mean, it can’t be any of us.” 

WWX: “I don’t know about y’all, but I’d be great at this mission.” *wiggles eyebrows*

JC *rolls eyebrows*: “I think you forgot that mom will have your head if you do something like this.”

JC: “Hey, you remember her from university?” 

WWX: “Who?” 

JC: “You know, *her*, the one with the needles who could murder anyone and get away with it” 

WWX: *laughing* “Holy hell, the Peacock doesn’t know what’s coming for him!” 

NHS: “And who might this mystery lady be?” He says, knowing exactly who this mystery lady is. 

JC and WWX: “Wen Qing.”

-All the while, JGS thinks that WQ and JZX are engaged because the Idiot Trio sent an envoy ahead that claimed WQ was a head disciple of Jiang and is a replacement for JYL. JGS has now set the engagement of WQ and JZX in August. 

-They find out about Mianmian/LQY and WQ too late, and now JC, WWX, and NHS send someone else, LWJ, to crush JZX’s heart. 

JC: “You can’t continue to do this, what happened to our deal?!” 

WQ: *death glares* “What our deal said was that I needed to woo someone vaguely in relation to the nickname “Peacock” and happened to be in Lanling as payback for JZX breaking your sister’s heart, I don’t think I’m the one who forgot our deal here.” 

JC: “And your first thought was that Mianmian/LQY was Peacock?!” 

WQ: “She’s pretty and a Jin, so…” 

Before there would be a throw down in this place, WWX interrupted: “Okay, WQ it’s alright that you feel for Mianmian/LQY, but who is supposed to help us teach JZX a lesson now?”

NHS: “I don’t know, but it could maybe be someone who’s already close to JZX.” 

JC: “That sounds like a horrible ide- Wait, that’s lowkey kinda genius. Do you remember him from university?” 

WWX: “Him?” 

JC: “Yeah, you know, him, the one who’s entire vocabulary was the syllable “Mn” and whom you pined after for years.” 

WWX *blushing like there’s no tomorrow*: “We can’t send him, he’ll probably send me off to do 50 handstands” 

JC: “Please, he’s do anything you ask him to” 

NHS: *flutters his fan while knowing to an extreme degree what’s going to happen*

-They send WWX as LWJ’s ‘driver’ for him to make sure the plan is on track, but it just ends in LZ/WY pining. JC is also sent there as a businessman since he needs to make sure JGS doesn’t suspect anything too suspicious. At the same time though, because JGS thinks WQ and JZX are engaged and since LWJ spends most of his free time talking to Mianmian/LQY about his hopeless pining, JGS starts to think that Mianmian/LQY and LWJ are to be engaged and plans another engagement. JGS is quick to inform LQR about this and now LQR thinks that his nephew is married to Mianmian/LQY and that they’re getting married in August. 

-At some point here, LXC is in Lanling to visit his bud Meng Yao and that’s when JC and LXC begin talking and stuff. (This can be platonic or romantic, I don’t have a personal preference). 

-Additionally, this is also when WWX and LWJ begin investigating the happenings of Lanling and discover the extent of an asshole JGS is. They'd probably be reported sporadically and NHS definitely sent this evidence to detectives XXC and Song Lan. 

-So far, no one has gotten to properly executing this plan, and JC & WWX are beginning to question things. Because things couldn’t possibly get worse, this is the moment when Madam Yu decides that it’d be a good idea to visit the Jins in order to remind them of their arranged marriage between JYL and JZX. So now, JC and WWX have to drag both LXC and JYL into this convoluted plot because otherwise everything would go horribly wrong. JC, WWX, NHS, JYL, LXC, WQ, LWJ, and Mianmian/LQY (WQ directly told the boys that if they don’t let Mianmian/LQY in on this, she’ll personally shove a needle where it hurts) are in this room together, attempting to processes the absolute mess that has occurred. (Poor JZX is still living obliviously, his father didn’t even tell him that he’s technically engaged to WQ now. JZX is just vibing in confusion and thinks he’s just being buds with LWJ because LWJ is horrible at flirting with anyone that’s not WWX so his job of breaking JZX is... not going well.) In the end, after being on the receiving end of many of JYL’s disappointed looks, JC and WWX convince her to help them with their plot just this once. (She wouldn’t tell anyone that she was secretly pleased, but hey, JYL kept her vengeance deep, deep down low and deserved to exercise it just this once.) 

-(it is important to note here that in this AU, Madame Yu doesn’t know what JZX looks like) 

-The plan would be that LXC would (reluctantly) pretend to be JZX in front of Madam Yu. Additionally, Madame Yu thinks the actual JZX is NHS (because JC panicked and that’s the first name he could come up with when Madam Yu asked who was that kid if LXC was JZX). This was to drive JGS off their tails as he still believed that WQ is engaged to JZX now. (He did email LQR about this as well who now thinks his nephews are now engaged to JYL and Mianmian/LQY, respectively, and are going to be married that August.) This is the part where WWX and LWJ finally start realizing that their feelings are mutual after a pep talk from Mianmian/LQY, LXC, and WQ (who’s pep talk sounded more like a shovel talk) for LWJ and from JC, NHS, and JYL for WWX. This is also when Mianmian/LQY and WQ grow closer and also decide that the rest of the group is useless and team up with NHS to knock some sense into JZX. Finally, JZX becomes less emotionally constipated and confesses to JYL, and because WWX, JYL, and JC think that an intervention from the scariest trio (WQ, Mianmian/LQY, NHS) is apt punishment, they call an end to their payback. (Also partially due to JZX having character growth as different characters grilled him throughout this AU). While this is great for our mains, it can only cause a bunch of shenanigans because of the way the parental figures interpret this situation. 

-JGS and Madame Jin think the pairings are: WQ/JZX, LQY/LWJ, LXC/JYL, WWX/NHS

-Madame Yu thinks the pairings are: JZX (except it’s LXC’s version of JZX)/JYL, LWJ/WWX, LQY/WQ, and (maybe?) JC/NHS (except it’s JZX who got confused for NHS)

-LQR thinks the pairings are: WQ/JZX, LQY/LWJ, and LXC/JYL

-Meanwhile, the pairings actually are: JZX/JYL, LWJ/WWX, LQY/WQ, and (maybe?) JC/LXC

-In conclusion, they’re all utterly fucked. Therefore, they have to bring everyone into this convoluted plot now, and finally JZX’s experiences over the past months make a little more sense to him. While discussing this mess they’ve created, WWX has an idea. 

WWX: “Okay, so, looking at the actual chart of who everyone thinks is who, the biggest disparity is between Madam Yu and JGS’s viewpoints, right? What if we just removed Madam Yu from the equation, make Madam Jin and Madam Yu have a falling out so that Madam Yu won’t be invited to the wedding so that we can focus on one of the false interpretations of all the relationships happening.” 

JC: “Madam Jin and Madam Yu have been the best of friends, how are we supposed to make them hate each other?” 

JYL: “I mean, we could stage something, a betrayal of some sort.” 

NHS: “I’m liking the way you think.”

-So through this plot and NHS’s concerning amount of connections, our group succeeds in breaking apart Madam Yu and Madam Jin’s friendship. JC and WWX also manage to worm their way into convincing the Jins to let JYL marry LXC to “spite Madam Yu’s wish of combining the Jiang and Jin families.” Because of JGS arranging and emailing parents throughout this fic, JYL, JZX, LXC, Mianmian/LQY, WQ, NHS, WWX, and LWJ are basically set to be married in August, except it’s to the wrong person! Soon enough, the wedding day arrives and the gang has a plan: they’ll dress the exact same and have the most elaborate and disruptive headpieces so that their faces are covered. 

(Note: Instead of NHS being part of the people getting married as it should be, JC is replaces him for the actual ceremony. Since the our marrige folks have their faces covered, nobody really notices that JC replaced NHS and is marrying LXC. This can be either because of a marriage of convenience to combine companies, or out of actual feelings. I’m cool with either interpretation in my head. Meanwhile, NHS is out in the crowd and People didn’t him because of his surprisingly useful camouflage fan.) 

-And so, the group sets NHS as their distraction while JC pretends to be NHS for the wedding ceremony. NHS basically knocks into the most expensive vase he can find so that most of the parental figures turn around, giving the group getting married the opportunity to switch places with one another until they’re in the right spot. So, a bunch of stuff happens, Madam Yu barges in to yell about how disgraceful it is for the Jins to go on with this marriage even though they broke the engagement in the first place and betrayed the trust of the Jiang corporation. Madam Yu also just, airs out JGS’s dirty laundry in a real badass way. 

-It’s all chaotic. Hell breaks loose. JGS goes batshit crazy and starts bringing our firearms. And so, basically, everyone ends up hiding behind pillars and stuff, though, eventually, after everyone has to run out of their hiding spot’s because Su She cannot shut the fuck up and keeps getting the other’s exposed, they all pile behind JGS in the world’s worst game combined game of Hide & Seek and Slither.io. It all finally ends when JGS gets arrested for a shit ton of crimes, and everything finally ends with a joint wedding between 8 people, except this time it’s with the right partners. 

So, yeah, that’s the AU that I wrote in a dazed craze in the past 2 hours. I hope it was at least partially understandable. I hope y’all have fun with it! Again, if you know of a fanfic that’s got a similar energy or want to write something similar, please tell me, I need more fanfiction. Also, that last scene is basically a direct copy of this scene from the movie Housefull 2. (I’m sorry though, I can’t find an english subbed version of the scene. :(

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs fanfiction #fanfiction prompt #mdzs au #the untamed fanfic #mo dao zu shi fanfic #housefull 2 #bollywood #c-drama #writing prompt #the untamed fanfiction prompt #long post #tw violence #tw long post #the untamed au #wei ying #lan zhan #lan xichen #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #nie huaisang #luo qingyang #wen qing #lan qiren #jin guangshan #yu ziyuan #wei wuixan #lan wangji

[angstymdzsthoughts]

wow im loving this new ask layout.

it was post canon and wwx has been living with his husband and son in cr for a couple years now. jc is still somewhat reluctant to talk to him but he understands. jl comes by to nighthunt with his friends regularly. one unlucky day wwx had a mishap with resentful energy during a nighthunt accident and lsz died in the process.

everyone was heartbroken but wangxian were absolutely destroyed. they stayed in seclusion for months. wwx couldnt stand the guilt and had no face to see his son's friends and the other lans. even when lwj finally had to come out for sect duties wwx chose to stay in seclusion. he abandoned his regular cultivation and swore off demonic cultivation forever. in an effort to cheer up his husband, lwj persuaded him to go on a trip to worship the gods to pray for sizhui's death anniversary.

they came across a small temple, old and rickety and overgrown, and out of kindness they cleaned up and left a small offering. wwx just wanted his family back. lwj wanted a chance to start all over again. it suddenly stormed heavily that evening, so they had to take shelter in the temple for the night, taking caution to ask for permission from the resident god.

when they woke up, they were at the cloud recesses. lwj woke up in his old bedroom in a body that felt too small. wwx woke up startled in a guest bedroom in cr with jyl sitting by his bed.

"a-ying? did you have a nightmare?" wwx choked back a sob and just hugged his shijie for comfort. only then did he notice that he felt too small, and too soft. he looked down at his hands, then at his body. he was somehow a girl.

then jyl's presence in his room would make more sense. girls and boys dorms are separated in the cr. wangxian woke up as an alternate version of themselves with their original memories as well as the memories of their new body. lwj was still lan er gongzi. but in this body, she was just wei ying, a senior disciple of yunmeng jiang.

wangxian met each other again in class and wy took caution to not vex lqr too bad this time, lest he disapprove of their inevitably impending union. jc eyed lwj furiously when he approached wy after class to talk privately. it seemed that the two of them were the only ones reborn.

the first thing lwj did after that was ask his uncle to send a formal betrothal request to ymj for wy's hand. which to lqr was weird, but lz wouldnt budge. he thought lxc could still marry a more proper wife, so its fine.

they spent the rest of the year courting, lwj was in such a rush to marry wy. wy wasnt /actually/ jyl's little sister so it was no issue if she married first. meanwhile, jyl's betrothal was broken. this time by her own brother who punched jzx so hard he broke his nose. wangxian got married a year after they finished studying in gusu.

everyone was overjoyed when wy got pregnant. even mdm yu was happy for her. when their son was born, lwj recognized his soul to be their a-yuan, and wy cried her lungs out in joy. their little son had his old nose, lwj's nose, but now the rest of him look like them too. his hair was midnight black like lz's but with wy's playful curls. he had wy's ears and little constellation of moles on his skin. he even had lz's light eyes.

lqr wouldnt let go of his grandnephew that lan huan had to bargain with his uncle to be able to hold his nephew. after a-yuan could walk, they went to visit lotus pier. the toddler /adored/ jiang cheng, laughing and squealing loudly in his arms. he loved getting head pats by jyl and kept demanding attention from mdm yu by pulling on her skirt or hugging her leg and crawling into her lap. he wasnt so fond of jfm, however, only looking away in disinterest or reaching out his hands to his parents. for once jfm felt left out in his family.

wangxian wracked their brain trying to stop the sunshot campaign from happening, but wrh's power ran deeper than they thought and they could only postpone it, not prevent it completely. the wens attacked lotus pier first, burning it to the ground and killing jc's parents. the jiang siblings ran to cr, but it only served to bring the wen dogs sniffing at cr's door.

wy is talented in cultivation, but having sworn off resentful energy and having to protect the sect's children as well as her own, she could only do so much while her husband was taken to the nightless city.

lwj eventually managed to escape and jc with the help from qinghe nie managed to gather the survivors of his sect. they all went to war and the sun was finally shot. lwj came home to wy just in time to tell him they were expecting a daughter.

this time there was no yin hufu for jgs to fight over, just the remnants of the wen sect. knowing llj would abuse the war prisoners, lwj spoke up and ppl listened when he proposed the wen remnants go to qinghe for trials. civilians are left to themselves while criminals are sent to labor. the resouces belonging to the wen sect was distributed to other sects both big and small depending on how much casualty they suffered under wrh.

jzx fell in love with jyl during the war and got married as soon as it was over. jin ling was born not too long after a-yuan's little sister lan yuyan. together jyl and jzx forced llj to give out resources for jc to rebuild his sect.

3zun still became sworn brothers and wangxian didnt exactly know when jgy got married, so he still married qin su. jgs had jgy kill nmj, and when jgy wont agree to spy on gusulan he had another one sent. lwj sent nmj a missive not to trust jgy with calming and avoided his death.

it took a couple years, but when jgs thought he was ready he even imprisoned jzx and his family in koi tower, depriving them of any communications and arrested disciples that are loyal to jzx.

llj was gearing up to war once again, this time against everyone else. jgs had, unbeknowst of everyone, gotten the note on core melting hand technique and had xue yang learn it.

wangxian reached out to nhs, trying to find a way to kill jgs. realizing that jgs was fully prepared to kill lxc, jgy turned his sights over to jzx, admitting his faults and teaming up to kill jgs. jgs had jzxun attack qinghe, but it was easily defended against. xue yang led the troop against cloud recesses.

xy aimed at the main lan family and injured a-yuan. in a desperate attempt to save his family, lwj jumped out and xy destroyed his golden core. meanwhile, he still sent spiritual energy towards saving his son. distracted by his victim, wy managed to cut xy's head off. back in llj, jgy along with jzxuan and jc attacked jgs's forces in koi tower. jc beheaded jgs and with that this new war was over.

thanks to lwj, lan yuan was fine and his injury was stabilized. however the destruction of lwj's golden core not only take away his cultivation but also mangled his meridians. wy could do nothing but weep with her daughter in her lap while lxc and lqr played healing for her husband.

lwj died in his sleep that night, finally exhaling his last painful breath while wy fell asleep from crying. his funeral along with those fallen during the attack was held a few days after. wy didnt look like herself in the mourning clothes she wore along with the children.

wy was inconsolable and kept apologizing the the children. especially a-yuan. fate had been so cruel on him that he couldnt grown up with two parents twice over. it seemed that in this life too he would be named sizhui. wy refused to move and kept sigil by lwj's coffin.

suddenly su minshan came out of nowhere and started yelling at her. calling her a jinx and an unlucky bitch that shouldve prevented her husband from dying. lqr yelled at him to leave. two and a half year old lan yuyan tried to shoo him away, punching at his knees. but the adult man just kicked the little girl away. jc couldnt stay silent anymore and wrapped zidian around sms's neck and pulled, making sure his neck broke when hitting the floor.

wy didnt say anything. she just took her crying daughter and left. after making sure lan yuyan is alright, wy locked herself in her room for 3 weeks. she didnt even open the door when her kids come knocking and begging.

it broke lxc's heart to see once again two children waiting on their mother's door. he asked jyl for help in persuading wy to come out. when they came in, wy looked like a ghost still in her white mourning robes with a whole head of white hair and her eyes so weary from weeping. she fainted soon after opening the door.

they checked on her only to find out she was 2 months pregnant. the tears start anew for wy and jyl asked lxc to take wy back to lotus pier so she can recuperate with her sworn siblings. lxc and lqr reluctantly agreed and wy came with jyl and jc back to lotus pier. jzxuan became the new sect leader and severely punished jgy along with his father's men while his wife and son stayed in yunmeng.

wy made a promise with lwj once to never let their children be orphans like they were. even if only for her kids, wy tried her best to get better. she stood out in her white mourning robes in lotus pier. wy was constantly surrounded by kids, all wanting her attention. she ate jyl food with the kids and watched jc teach her kids and jin ling how to swim. after a couple months, her dark hair came back and she got healthier. her second son lan shun was born in the middle of the hot yunmeng summer in lotus pier.

after lan shun turned 1, they came back to cloud recesses. wy had some time to accept her loss, but kept thinking abt lwj. after hearing from other lan disciples, lan yuan asked granduncle to teach him inquiry. the first time lwj responded to a-yuan's guqin strings, wy broke down on her knees. wy has been wearing lwj's headband on her forearm, so lwj attached parts of his soul in it. some of it went to bichen, which lan yuan inherited. some went to lan yuyan who inherited wangji guqin. lan shun never knew his father so he didnt want anything belonging to lwj.

for now, wy had to be content with inquires to lwj. for now they had to be content with waiting for each other on the other side.

.