#this is genuinely the funniest thing ever

[starlightswordfight]

rescue corps headcanons because I'm insane

(there are many)

– mirror pronouns pom

– that's all I got

– man!!

– Bernard started TALKING in this specific MANNER for the BIT years and years back and now he can't STOP he is STUCK someone HELP him

– he ALSO might be doing it to try to put EMPHASIS on the words he believes should have it and sometimes HE DOES not succeed

– he reads as ADHD coded to me but it might be because I also talk like that so take that with a grain of salt

– "HEY GIRL. I MEAN ANY PRONOUNS"

– Bernard had the most normal home life by far. No contest, won by default. I have a GREAT relationship with both of MY parents because they LOVE me

– he is incredibly observant. alarmingly so. will sometimes act out of the loop on purpose, if he thinks things would just be easier that way. accidentally learns everything about everyone, the guy's an information magnet and he doesn't know how to feel about that

– do you guys think Russ has made a spacesuit with the doc ock arms because I think he has and that he actively uses it on missions

– occasionally jumpscares people and giggles about it. he got the tendency to do this from his mother, who can smell fear

– while I doubt Russ would do things "for the bit" he would ABSOLUTELY act on impulse in the name of the scientific method. this has gotten him hurt before. it's fine

– does not make coffee he just eats the fucking grounds. "it's a Giyan thing, you wouldn't understand" this is not true at all he is LYING

– Russ and Yonny get into frequent arguments (light banter) about literally everything and I mean Everything. They could work together they'd be really powerful that way, but they don't

– Russ has so many genuinely funny science puns that he makes and no one ever gets them and it devastates him

– except for Yonny, who is too busy searching for ethics guideline loopholes to acknowledge that he understands the joke

– Yonny has the most HORRIFIC life stories and will drop them CASUALLY. thought they were funny, is only now beginning to realize that it does in fact make people concerned and uncomfortable when he does that

– prefers paper books to digital because he's prone to headaches!! cites "phone bad book good" as the official reason but that's not the reason

– nonbinary and evil. presentation tends to "default" as masc but switches up often! hey girl I mean any pronouns

– knows like a hundred million dead languages for absolutely no reason

– makes art in his spare time because murder is wrong

– Shepherd sleeps with a nightlight, or at the very least can't rest well in complete darkness!! she's just like me fr !!!!

– "she snores" thank you duncan for your contribution. honk shoe

– also I think she might be autistic I can't fully back that one up do not ask me to but look at her. she cares about dogs the way I care about fish

– prone to coming across the wrong way, tone wise. very very good at giving backhanded compliments that were meant to be fully sincere and just got horribly lost in translation. this keeps her up at night. she feels AWFUL

– big fan of karaoke!! not exactly GOOD at it but we love her initiative

– as afraid as she is of the pikmin, their voices and funny little words are very catchy and she does find herself repeating them often. she will not admit this. it is embarrassing

– Collin is also autistic. I could make an entire separate post on this I'm being so goddamn serious, I have so much reasoning, I am fully confident that he is, and that he masks REALLY hard, and it enormously fucked him up

– special interest in machinery (NO ONE saw THIS coming)

– transmasculine. his name is a pun on "call in." heard the phrase and realized he had the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

– we only hear about his grandfather, and not even from him; no other family is mentioned at all!! went no contact with like everybody else, above points might be why. people with normal childhoods don't stand like that

– adding onto the canon sleep talking with sleep movement! a LOT of it! has probably kicked someone before!!

– "he wakes up upside down" thank you duncan

– i think maybe Dingo might still have glow stick light up bones. will rediscover this one day during an expedition mishap and it will be an Experience

– not a hc but Dingo is the type of guy to get bit in a zombie apocalypse and not tell anyone until the literal last second

– "he would also say "fuck my stupid baka life"" thank you duncan

– would fight by rolling up his sleeves and jumping around cartoonishly. he would more likely talk like he's winning the fight when he is in fact actively losing. "had enough yet? (on the floor)"

– definitely games and he wins the competitive ones by button mashing. "I'll never tell you my strategy" he prays that's the strategy

– his sleep schedule is NOT normal. it's so beyond skewed. he either gets like 2 hours of sleep or he wakes up the following night not knowing what year it is

#pikmin #pikmin 4 #pikmin headcanons #bernard pikmin #russ pikmin #yonny pikmin #shepherd pikmin #collin pikmin #dingo pikmin

[heungmins]

#this is genuinely the funniest thing ever #it wasnt even that funny but the exclamation points like i almost pissed myself

[twilight-trackss]

my beloved divorcees

#brutalia #talia al ghul #bruce wayne #damian wayne #batman #robin #dc #dcu #dc comics #i read robin (2021) a while back and their whole bizarre custody battle is genuinely the funniest thing ever. what is wrong with them

[all-the-fun-of-the-cirkus]

steve and nick there making a fine entry to the taskmaster tradition of "team task where they just sort of potter about having a lovely time, barely acknowledging that there's a task at all"

#taskmaster #steve pemberton #nick mohammed #he's a real prick i know but baddiel and brand having a sandwich is genuinely one of the funniest things i've ever seen

[wiklm]

i’m watching demon slayer with my dad and i think tanjiro is the funniest guy ever. like yes he is kind and lovely but he’s also an absolutely insane and off-putting freak and somehow his power of friendship effect still works on EVERYONE? like he meets genya once and shows up the next day to give him his TOOTH??? THAT HE KEPT FOR SOME REASON???? and then it works. it works and genya is struck down by the awesome power of tanjiros relentless optimism as everyone is eventually fated to. and that’s actually so hilarious like i love this guy what the hell is his problem

#sorry i just thought the tooth was genuinely the funniest thing in the world #he’s literally so strange and everybody is just normal about it #like he is an off putting freak but he’s also like the nicest guy ever so nobody pays attention to the off putting freak part #i love him he deserves everything #demon slayer #kny #tanjiro kamado #genya shinazugawa #wiklm shitposting

[twyz]

she's cooked guys

[original under the cut]

#twyz #this has to be the funniest fucking thing i have ever done #im actively crying #there are genuine tears coming out of my eyes guys #rhps #the rocky horror show #rocky horror picture show #rocky horror #rocky horror fanart #rocky horror show #rocky horror meme #magenta rhps #shitpost #digital art #made in ibis paint

[balfiere]

live footage of kiryu's 'proposal':

#this is genuinely the funniest thing i've ever heard him say #like... 'i've been around' okayyyy whatever u say king sksksksk #melissa talks to herself #yakuza

[babygirlgiles]

I think my fic where Xander accidentally becomes a successful novelist (largely without realizing it) is the funniest idea I’ve ever had. This guy started writing little stories to remember their adventures in Sunnydale (his last line in Chosen about “how will anyone even know about this unless we tell them” burrowed itself into my little archivist brain and won’t let go) and posts them online. He unintentionally goes viral. He thinks someone named Simon N. Schuster is leaving him voicemails. He ends up on the New York Times bestseller list.

He doesn’t even realize that everyone else thinks the stories are fiction. Xander is out here writing autobiographical non-fiction but everyone else thinks he’s a weirdly dedicated author that’s really committed to maintaining a Lemony Snicket style pseudonym/persona for the narrator of his novel. There are “Who Is Xander Harris?” articles. No one can dig up much of anything on him because he lived his whole life in a town that got wiped off the map. He keeps rejecting requests for interviews because of his stage fright. At first this drives his publicist absolutely ballistic but it just adds the the air of mystery that’s drumming up book sales so she lets it go.

He only responds to questions over email and only ever responds “in character” as his “novel’s narrator” and this baffles everyone, only adding to the supposed mystery. It’s literally not even Xander actually writing the emails 95% of the time. It’s Dawn. She has appointed herself as “Xander’s representation” even though she doesn’t really know what being someone’s representation means. She printed business cards.

#meanwhile the rest of the scoobies are doing everything in their power to stop this book’s publication #it’s a total comedy of errors on every single front #tagging this so claire can filter it lmao (ily claire) #xander Harris #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #dawn summers #Dawn’s business cards are maybe the funniest part of this me and I truly think this whole thing is hysterical #xander is letting her take care of all the business stuff which is a huge part of why he has no clue what’s going on with the book ever #but also <3 he is a little bit dumb <3 #but also genuinely he just doesn’t care about the business side of things all that much #he really was just writing little stories bc he loves his friends and wanted to remember the times he’s shared with them #and as a way to remember/grieve everything he’s lost. friends. anya. Sunnydale as a whole. #he’s just a little guy who’s so loyal and full of love and thank god Dawn intervened lmao #and now he’s sort of just along for the ride on the publication process #Cristina if you see this is also love you thank you

[michaun]

#glee #gleeedit #tvedit #tvgifs #thing i made #been doing a rewatch and this show is genuinely one of the funniest ever made and I will stand by that

[battleslippers]

ABOUT 6 FEET TALL.

THERE'S JUST NO WAY 😭😭😭😭

#always imagined him as a short king #tbf two bit genuinely being a big dude is also acceptable #i think some guy managing to rob people like it's nothing with a big build is actually the funniest thing ever #still.. #6 ft? no way. #two bit mathews #the outsiders

[starflungwaddledee]

#sorry i could NOT get this out of my head when i read this ask. this is the funniest thing i have ever seen #just witnessed everybody saying that starstruck was sooo cute and soo precious in her big pink bow with her stupid little round cheeks #and ran begging into my inbox like PLEASE beat her the FUCK UP. okay!! absolutely!! as you wish it etc #i would never have actually done something this self indulgent without the prompt tbh but #joke's on you because the only characters i like throwing in the blender more than my faves are my sonas :) #you'll notice i only screenshotted it & this is not an answer to the actual ask. don't worry! it'll arrive some day #(this is jokeish in tone but i am genuinely delighted by this ask! never thought anyone would enjoy seeing stuff like that with my oc) #(always feel free to send me starstuck requests tbh!! even angst lmao. maybe i should throw her at galacta knight and see what happens) #(i think he'd just eat her whole in two bites like a strawberry cupcake ngl)

[yellowocaballero]

SHAZAM SHAZAM SHAZAM pls tell us about billy batson. ive only ever seen the movies o great comic knower

Very very very VERY far from comic expert (that's brawltogethernow) but I have read a lot of Shazam. His history is actually really, really fascinating and involves more than one lawsuit that really defined very early comics. I'll focus on one thing, though.

There are two Captain Marvels: One from the 1940s to around 2013, and one from 2013 til now. The Captain Marvel you're familiar with (who is named Shazam) is from 2013. He's a more realistic, grounded character. He was created to be pretty much the polar opposite of his original version. The best summary is to say that the Wizard chose Billy Batman 1940 because he had the purest heart, and the Wizard chose Billy Batson ~2013 because he was there. My personal 'best' Shazam story is the "Shazam: The Monster Society of Evil" graphic novel by the guy who made Bone. It's good because it's for elementary schoolers yet acknowledges this small child as homeless. Which, don't get me wrong, you shouldn't always do. My personal favorite is the 1970s ones.

As some background: Otto Binder was the creator/main writer of the very early Captain Marvel comics. He was by far and away the best writer of the early Superman Silver Age comics, because all of his comics were batshit insane. Shazam has a complicated and legal history with Superman, so the 1970 run was a super fun high camp tongue in cheek reinvention of the best Silver Age stories.

So the 1970 Captain Marvel comics are insane.

I can't even summarize them without sounding crazy. Basically the conceit is that Captain Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr, and Mary Marvel (Billy, Freddy, and Mary) are having 1940s Golden Age Adventures when they get somehow in suspended animation and are basically time travelled to the 1970s. This don't bother them too much. Why would it bother them. Nothing bothers these people. Nothing. I don't think anybody experiences a negative emotion in these comics. Not bc they were twee. Bc they were insane.

Many of the comics basically had three shorter comics inside it: one Billy story, one Mary story, one Freddy story. Interestingly, they all had different art styles, artists, types of story, genre, etc. Billy's stories had a cartoony art style with very over-the-top and silly plotlines that involved supervillain bad dudes. Freddy's art was slightly more realistic and was slighty more grounded, but still had some classic Marvel indescribable scifi that can best be summarized as that one meme panel people have seen where Sivana recites a science equation that lets him walk through walls. Mary's stories were much more realistically drawn and featured the most banal shit, like her starting a club with her friends. Somehow Mary Marvel gets involved in those.

Sometimes they worked together and did superhero things and fought bad guys. The average fight looked like this:

Billy was a twelve year old who lived by himself, in his own apartment, had his own radio show, a full-ass job, a whole thing as Captain Marvel. He paid fucking taxes. Everybody knew this and nobody cared. He's the most affable, good natured kid on the face of the planet. Nothing bothers him. Nothing. Nothing bothers any of these people. Sivana shows up and he's BIG MAD so he's creating another death ray and Captain Marvel shows up like "Oh you rascal! Time to punch this and go back to helping my friend eat his infinite Jello."

He has a friend named Talky Tawny, who is a talking tiger wearing a suit. He also has a friend named Sunny Smiles, a person of indeterminate gender who everybody falls in love with, for unexplained and unknown reasons. Not to be confused with Freddy's friend Gregory Gosharootie, the "World's Dullest Mortal", who is so boring that nobody notices him and he keeps accidentally comitting crime. There is also an old guy named Uncle Marvel who pretends he has superpowers, which they all find funny so they just roll with it. Freddy is a disabled orphan who has to sell papers on the street corner to make a living. Mary lives in a middle class suburban home with loving foster parents. It never once seems to occur to Mary's parents to adopt Billy, for Freddy to live with Billy. Everybody is happiest this way.

I do think this is partly why a good Shazam comic has to be aimed at the 6-12yo demographics. They have to be for small children, because Billy is living a complete and utter power fantasy that only a ten year old would think is a good idea. He's a kid, and he doesn't have drag parents or a lame family, but he can turn into Superman, and he can also do magic, and everybody loves him and thinks he's the nicest person, and his supervillains are Dr. Doofenschmirtz and a worm, and his supporting cast is like okay my sister if she HAS to be involved, but also my best friend who is a paperboy! but cool because he's disabled, and….

Look, you could engage with that seriously. You could go "holy shit this is a homeless child". That's fine. That's what they do these days, and that's what they did in the movies. Nothing wrong with that. Take the story more seriously.

But also they don't give a worm the electric chair in those stories, so.

To actually give some commentary on these comics: these comics really love people. I've never seen comics that were so entrenched in their community. The kids just know everybody they meet on the street. Freddy delivers paper up and down every block, so an average story for him is just talking to a butcher or baker or old man or grumpy housewife and helping them out with some batshit problem. Mary's a sweet girl who's always starting clubs with her friends and taking on neighborhood projects. Many Billy stories involve one of his many friends falling into some trouble and Captain Marvel helping them out - or just exploring some fun with Billy hanging out with Sunny Smiles, who is a person of indeterminate gender who for some reason has magic love brainwashing powers -

This isn't the biggest #Shazam take, but I think a good Shazam story stays grounded in that. These are poor street kids who love Fawcett City so damn much. They love fighting their supervillains, but they love helping out the random guy off the street with their problems even more. Way more so than Spider-Man or a lot of other guys, I think of the Marvel family as the friendly neighborhood superheroes. They're both larger than life and street level. They're Superman level powers but they just use the powers for wrapping up their hijinks. Isn't that nice? Aren't you tired of going apeshit? Don't you just want to be nice?

#captain marvel #shazam #mary marvel #freddy freeman #billy batson #captain marvel jr #mary batson #i pulled open the old comics to review to write this #and as a kid I was like. #“hah! silly old silver age comics! they don't know how dumb they are!” #but reading it now im like #“holy shit i think they're doing it on purpose. holy shit. i think this is the most sarcastic comic ive ever read.” #“I don't think this is the funniest thing ever on accident. I think these were jokes. This comedy is sublime.” #genuinely they hold up SO well. they're fucking delightful. #high camp. #my writing #my asks

[coldflasher]

just returned from the legends of tomorrow convention so for anyone who missed it, i can confirm that i did genuinely enter the cosplay competition dressed as gary's nipple

#might genuinely be up there among the list of funniest things i've ever done and im not afraid to say it #starfury legends #dc's legends of tomorrow #legends of tomorrow #helen meets the lot cast #conventures

[fearandhatred]

every time i remember the m in mobius m. mobius stands for mobius i lose my fucking mind

#fearandhatred #it's genuinely the funniest thing ever #marvel #mobius #mobius m mobius #loki

[iamonlyperson]

'markiplier mode' activates the whole submarine into mark's face

#markiplier #iron lung #this is genuinely funniest thing ever #im here for it #these from the dev

[acrosstobear]

shhhhhh they’re communicating 🤫

#formula 1 #f1 #mick schumacher #haas #esteban ocon #alpine #this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve EVER seen