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arabellaaldous · 3 years

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Teenage Dirtbag

scenario: "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus. Armin is one of those quiet rocker boys in love with the football (American Soccer) captain's girlfriend.

Armin x OC

I will be posting the Armin x Reader version as well when I get this established.

Minors, DNI!

Warnings: nsfw, mentions of toxic relationships, pining, IMMENSE FLUFF, substance use/abuse.

My head was fogged over. I couldn't help but stare at her soft, silky legs as she stood near the field, her tight cheer shorts ridding up her thighs to sit in the divets beneath her hips.

"Oi," Eren nudged my arm, damn near knocking me off of the bleachers. "The fuck you staring at?"

I attempted to hide my gaze, bringing my eyes to rest on my vans, but Eren had already followed my line of sight down to the football field.

"Oh shit," he chuckled excitedly, "She's joined the cheer team? its the end of the year!"

"She broke her ankle last summer, remember? Now shut up," I grumbled, going back to burying my face in my chemistry homework. I didn't want to talk about it.

Eren just sighed heavily, retying his bun atop his head.

"I don't know why you even like her, everyone else is too scared to. Levi would kick your ass." he offered, discarding our science project altogether. I continued working out formula's and showing my work, making sure to get the credit I deserved for the assignment.

"I don't" I lied, flipping the page of my book, not bothering to give another glance his way.

"Pfff, sure," He scoffed, rising from his seat next to me. "If you don't like her, go talk to her. You have nothing to fear if you're not trying to fuck her!"

A hearty groan accompanied sigh slipped from my throat, as i now shot Eren a daggered stare.

"I'm not trying to fuck her, Eren," I informed my best friend. "It's not like that..."

"HA, you're in love with her?!" He laughed far too loudly. "You've not even met her!"

"Shut UP!!!" I snapped, standing to face him angrily. "Even if I did want to, it's not like I'd get the chance!"

Finally giving in, Eren raised his arms in surrender. "Fine, but when you go to prom on your own because you're stuck on the captain's girlfriend, I'm not gonna pity you.

With a heavy eye roll, I began placing my weighted books back in their bag, readying myself for my next class.

"Come on," I lent my head toward the school, "We've got sports after this."

My friend left his protests at the stands, walking with me toward the school. As we left, I took a quick glance back to the field, seeing her run toward the goal.

She was swept up in Levi's arms, the goalie spinning her around and planting a heavy kiss to her temple. My head snapped front, and I continued my walk. I would never get the chance to call her mine.

Get out of my head, Celine, I thought to myself.

~*~

Sports started just as it always did. We would file into the gymnasium, running until our teacher decided we were winded enough not to be heathens.

Connie and Jean ran along side Eren and myself, keeping a good jogging pace.

"I asked Sasha," Connie beamed, this being the big achievement he wouldn't shut up about.

"WE KNOW!!!" Our group chastised in unison.

"If you don't quit, I'll wring your scrawny neck!" Jean hissed, a fist raised toward our bald friend, "Prom is like three months away!"

"Jeez," Eren calmed Jean, "He's just excited! He was the last one to get a girl!"

My brows knit together as the three of my friends looked at me.

"I-I mean, besides you, Armin," Eren corrected.

"Yeah, thanks," I shot back.

"We just know you're not the type to go to dances," Jean piped up from his side.

"Or like, be social in general," Connie added.

I rolled my eyes, jogging ahead of the group of lads, catching up with Annie and Mikasa.

"They teasing you again?" Annie asked, a sharp glare thrown over her shoulder at the boys.

"It's just because they're dicks," Mikasa offered before I could answer. "You don't need a girlfriend to be happy."

"I know," I said, my breath now coming in ragged bursts. "It'd just be nice not to be the seventh wheel of the group."

" I knew I shouldn't've said yes when Eren asked me out," Annie said with a tinge of sadness. "I was your friend before I was his."

Finally the whistle blew and we all jogged to a halt before the teacher,

"No Annie," I patted her shoulder as we came to a stop, my lungs burning. I needed to lay off the kush.

"You two are great together," I assured her with a small smile. "I'll get a girl one day, don't worry about me."

"Alright, kids," Mr. Pixis said over all of the chatting teenagers, silencing us.

"Today is Friday, and as most of you know, that means dodgeball," an uproar came from the class, Eren, Jean, and Connie all joining in from behind us. I watched as a small smirk crept it's way onto both Annie and Mikasa's faces.

Even though they had a rough start, these girls were now the best of friends; but every now and again, they'd choose to stay on separate teams, just to beat the hell out of each other for fun.

I would join a team that needed strategy over brawn. I was always good with the logistics as opposed to the battle itself. Sure, I could throw a ball and hit a target, but not with the force Eren or even Reiner could. Not to mention the class powerhouse cousins, Mikasa and Levi.

Pixis began a lecture about how last Friday, we had two kids sent to hospital with broken bones. How you got broken bones in dodgeball, I had no clue. Yet, apparently the senior sports class is now notorious for weekly injury percentage.

My gaze wandered across the room, knowing exactly what he'd say. 'Be careful,' 'I'm looking at you Leonheart, Ackerman Two.'

Finally, my eyes landed on the white locks of Celine. She stood to the left of Reiner Braun, another one of the football players Levi hung around. Levi positioned himself on her other side, an arm slung over her shoulder.

He was so fucking short. Though she herself was tiny, I don't understand how Celine could deal with it. Little man syndrome was something I'd always hated in society.

Her teal eyes shone with hunger at the mention of letting us choose our own teams this week, and I smiled. She was so beautiful.

Just as I thought to look away, her eyes suddenly snapped toward me, returning the smile that had just as swiftly melted from my face. A small wave of her hand to me caused Levi to follow her gaze, connecting with mine.

His stoic look morphed into one that threatened my very existence if I didn't back down now. I instantly shifted my gaze to land on my shoes.

"Shut it!" Pixis hollered. "Yeager, Braun, you're captains."

Over the ensuing chaos, of Reiner Braun and Eren calling out names, the crowd surrounding them, I saw Celine Walk to Reiner's side, Eren choosing Mikasa when it was his turn. I was usually Eren's third pick, so I expected to be next. It was always our strategy. We needed Jean, the distraction, Mikasa, the sniper, and my, the coordinator.

Eren was just Team Captain most times.

I heard my name called, but by the wrong voice.

"Arlert," Braun boomed, pointing a strong finger toward me, "You're with us."

My eyes went wide, shooting to my friends, who shared my bewilderment. I was never chosen to be on the elite team. If one of the football boys was captain, you knew their team would win. Why were they choosing me?

I hesitantly walked to the front of the group, standing next to Levi, who boxed Celine into Reiner.

The calling continued, much to my dismay. I shifted on my feet, leaning away from the black haired boy next to me. He not only stared me down, but turned to face me when he noticed Celine whispering to Reiner once again.

"You're lucky she chose you to be on our team," Ackerman snarled to me. "I would've knocked you into next century."

I gave a heavy gulp, and shied away once again.

He smirked, uncrossing his arms to drape one across his girlfriend's shoulders.

Finally, the teams had been assembled, and we were sent to opposite sides of the gym.

"Come here, Arlert," Annie chimed, welcoming me into the huddled circle our team had created.

"Alright," Celine's sweet voice rang quietly through the circle, my eyes catching on hers as she looked around us, "I knew Reiner is captain, but just like always, we're passing the title to Levi, he's the best commander he have. But I'm your chief strategist, so do as I say."

Annie nodded from my right, causing me to quickly follow suit.

"Yeager always has Brouse and Springer in the back, what do we do about that," Petra asked from my right.

"Berthold," Celine looked to the giant boy, "Think you can hit 'em from way up there?"

A silent nod came from hoover, and Celine looked to Annie, Levi, and Reiner, a firm expression crossing her lips.

"You three have worked together before, yeah? Lacrosse?" She questioned.

All three nodded their response.

"You guys remember offence position five? I helped Levi adapt it for the football field, but the original will do now, got it?"

"Yes Ma'am," came an agreement from Renier. Annie simply nodded. Levi pointedly kissed her temple, eyes never leaving mine. He was taunting me.

The first spark of jealousy lit within me, causing me to look back to our strategist, who in turn now focused on Gunther.

"You follow suit and watch their backs. You're on defence," She said finally. She then turned to me.

"I want your opinion," She voiced sweetly. "Yeager is impulsive, and can be taken out easily. But we need to get Mikasa away from him. Annie isn't enough. What do we do?"

I was put so on the spot that my mind went blank for a moment. 'NO!' I screamed internally, slapping a hand to my brow and thinking hard.

"Uh, I guess- I mean..."

"Great, Celine, you picked a dud," Levi snapped.

"No," she said pointedly. "I have Arlert in my statistics class, he can work out anything. Just give him a minute."

Her words caused a heat to flash over my nose and ears, causing my brain to short once again.

"You could let me distract him," I offered, if only to give her an answer. "I can talk to him from the line. She won't think I'm any danger to him."

"Then you slip in and take him out, " Reiner added, giving me a quick smile. "You're right, kid's got game."

I didn't really think it was the best idea, but the group all nodded along with Reiner.

"You don't mind being out in the open like that? I'd watch your back until you get him where we need him," Y/n asked and assured.

I shook my head. "I can manage."

"Alright, you have your assignments," She said with a smile. "Now let's kick this kid's ass. Break!"

Everyone walked away from the circle, lining up along the wall below the basketball hoop. The other team faced us. I slipped in next to Annie,Celine coming to my other side.

"Uh, thanks for choosing me, I guess," I offered to Celine. With a soft smile, she waved me off.

“I just didn’t want Levi to nail you,” She chuckled, causing me to blush a deep red. She had known he’d seen me.

“I didn’t mean to, really, I was just-”

“No, dude,” she once again waved my statement off with a small hand. “Levi is really possessive sometimes. I know he ‘s just looking out for me, but not everyone who looks at me deserves to get hit.”

The sharp ring of the teacher’s whistle cut through the air, and the battle began. When I say battle, I mean Eren’s team and the fastest of my own comrades booking it toward the line of rubber balls in the middle of the gym. I thought they’d kill each other with the force in which they chucked the balls.

Eren was watching on, commanding his troops from behind Sasha and Connie. MIkasa and Annie were already duking it out over the line, jumping, dodging, and rolling out of the way of each other’s strikes.

Reiner and Berthold stood from the back of the gym, snagging balls out of the air, getting some of the underclassmen out. The Teacher watched from the sidelines, nodding in approval at the smack fest before him.

I watched the scene unfolding, scared for each team as they pelted each other. Finally, Celine had once again come to my attention.

“Let’s go, Levi and the others are in position,” She waved to me, scooting along the floor behind Berthold as he blocked her from view.

I followed closely, trying as coolly as ever to walk through the flying rubber spheres. I was shocked into freezing when a ball careened toward my stomach. I was going to ruin the whole plan.

Just as I was sure I was done, Berhold’s giant hand reached in front of me, and grabbed the ball.

“You can do that one handed?” I questioned, watching him look over the red ball like it was only a ball of yarn someone had tossed him.

“My hands are big,” His voice softly offered.

“I can take him from here, Berty,” Celine smiled from his other side. “Go help Reiner!”

The giant accepted her command, walking back easily. I peered to Celine, only now being a good two metres from the midline.

“What do I do?” I asked nervously.

“You got this, just get his attention,” She offered, snagging a ball from the ground and hiding behind me.

I carefully threw one hand in the air, waving to Eren, his final body guard stalking the midline to my right, mirroring Annie.

I tried again, knowing he didn’t see me as he looked forward to see Jean take a hit to the groin, crumpling into a ball on the wooden floors.

I looked back, seeing Berthold and Petra get nailed by Eld, Oruo sacrificing himself as Petra fell backwards. There were only four of us left, and Eren had Mikasa and Sasha left. It was now or never. Now, as Annie, Reiner and Levi defended our position from Mikasa, I caught Eren’s attention.

“Come here!” I shouted over the loud bouncing of balls on walls. A loud smack came echoing around us, signaling Sasha was gone.

Eren looked to Mikasa, seeing her taking on all three remaining opponents. Well, the three he saw.

“What’s up,” He panted, jogging over and watching as Mikasa doged three balls at once.

“I’m on Levi’s shit list,” I offered quietly. “Celine had told Reiner to pick me so Levi couldn’t hit me in the game.”

“What?” He questioned, never taking his eyes off of his sister.

“I was…” I stopped myself when I noticed Celine peeking out from behind me, ready to bash Eren in the face with a rubber ball. “Never mind.”

A heavy thud sounded, and Eren fell to the ground. Mikasa’s neck snapped to face us.

Her eyes, full of rage, landed on me, then Celine, who by this time, was doing a dance of victory next to me. Levi looked over too.

As if time had slowed around me, I watched in slow motion as Mikasa turned on a dime, swinging her arm hard over her shoulder, releasing the ball in her hand. The rubber spun, whistling through the air as it headed toward Celine.

Shit, I thought.

Without thinking I took a step to the left just in time for the ball to connect hard with my jaw.

I fell backwards, my skull bouncing off the floor. My vision went blurry, and my hearing went in and out. The rubber pang that resounded with an echo through the gym was sickening. She hit me hard.

As I lay on the floor, a stark haired figure came to hover above me, shouting something at me. Another few heads joined the circle of vision that I could barely see. I felt myself slipping into sleep, eyes finally closing.

It hadn’t felt like anything but a second before I was hit with ice cold water, causing a gasp to ring from my throat. I had almost bit my lip ring when I sat straight up, my cranium throbbing in pain.

“Arlert?!” Celine grabbed my arm and cradled my head in her hand as she laid me back on the floor. “Why did you do that?!”

My nose scrunched as I felt a sharp pain course through my eye, bringing my finger to assess the swollen skin.

“Dude, you look like shit,” Eren chuckled.

“I’m so sorry!!!” Mikasa cried, sliding to sit next to me across from Celine. “I didn’t mean to hit you!”

I shook my head slowly. “It’s fine,” I looked to Celine, “Did you get hit?”

“No,all thanks to you,” She sweetly chuckled, offering me a hand. Eren took my other and they both heaved me up to my feet. “I’m gonna ask again, why did you do that?”

I shrugged, rubbing the back of my neck with a clammy palm. “I uh, You were gonna get hit so I-”

“Hey, Arlert!” Levi called, sauntering over from the bleachers, Reiner and Eld following closely on his tail.

With a grimace, he outstretched his hand forcefully, almost shoving it at me.

“Thanks for blocking the hit,” He said. “It was a cool thing to do.”

Eren nudged me forward, urging me to take his hand. I did.

Levi pulled me to him, slapping a hand across my back in a manly hug. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I hated Levi.

This dude had picked on me since I was in elementary school, and he was not one you’d call, ‘a chill dude’. He was uptight, and a perfectionist. Not to mention entitled and arrogant as hell.

He squeezed me tightly, leaning up to whisper in my ear.

“Lay off, or the whole team will kick your ass,” He threatened, pulling back with a cheery smile.

I rubbed out the knot he’d forced into my palm, watching him walk Celine out of the gym. She gave a pearly smile and small wave before crossing the threshold.

“Dude,” Connie stalked up to me, the rest of our group the only ones left in the gym, “She was all over you…”

My face filled with blood, Mikasa coming to smile.

“Maybe I should’ve hit you harder,” She chuckled.

“She was pawing at you, bro,” Eren wrapped an arm around my shoulders, spreading a hand across the air in front of us as we walked.

“Head on your chest, hands on your face! If you were awake, you would’ve died all over again!”

“I didn’t kill him,” Mikasa said, causing me to bury my face in my hands as we all walked back to the locker rooms.

“Just shoot me now anyway,” I groaned.

#attack on titan #aot imagines #aot x reader #aot headcanons #armin arlert #armin x reader smut #armin smut #armin x you #snk smut #attack on titan smut #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi imagines

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simsadventures · 5 years

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After All: Chapter 3: Say What?

Summary: You are getting ready for the party, all excited and encouraged by your friend Hannah. Bucky seems to be mesmerised by you. But then you overhear a conversation and everything changes.

Warnings: fluff, light swearing, fluffy Bruce, ANGST, vomiting

Word Count: 1786

A/N: It’s finally here, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the moment of TRUTH. Hope you’ll all enjoy it xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

To say you were excited about the party would be an understatement of the year. You were thrilled. Ecstatic, even. After Hannah came back from the mission, she assured you more and more about Bucky’s intention. She would always say that the two of you were meant to be. You tried to play it cool, you really did, but hearing such words over and over again just got to your brain.

You wanted to look pretty for the party. In order to do that, you needed a new dress. Once again, Hannah insisted on going with you to guide you to the right dress. You couldn’t thank her enough for being by your side. You went for a purple, tight dress, even though they wouldn’t be your first choice. You didn’t feel too confident, but Hannah assured you that you looked fabulous and Bucky wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off you.

You smiled at that image. So, of course, you listened to your friend. She was Miss Gorgeous, and she totally knew the trends and what suited you better than you did. You were just not that into fashion or anything. If it were up to you, you would have gone for a more simple dress, maybe black not to catch too much attention, and definitely one with a lot looser fit. But Hannah knew what she was talking about.

During the week, you got much closer to another person on the team. Bruce. You chatted now and then before, but since you needed his help on some biometrics stuff, you two started spending a lot more time together. And he was such a sweet, calm person you couldn’t really understand that somewhere deep down, a green monster was hiding. The day of the party, your tongue slipped, and you said something about Bucky and the dreaded party.

Bruce looked interested, and took you out of the compound for a coffee, so the two of you could really talk, no distractions around.

“Wow, that sounds like Bucky’s really going at it. I mean, he’s got some moves, I gotta give him that.” Bruce smirked at you, and you couldn’t help but blush. “You know, I keep telling myself that I’m not his type, that I’m-“

“That you’re what, sweetheart? Gorgeous, smart, funny, sassy young lady? ‘Cause sure, you’re all of those things.”

You playfully slapped Bruce’s shoulder. “C’mon, you’re really trying to make me blush, don’t you? I’m not worried about my brain or my humour, they are spot on, but let’s face it, Bruce, I’m not the beautiful model-like type. I’m good with that, I had to live with my face long enough to get used to it… It doesn’t matter. You know, for the first time, I really feel like someone’s truly interested in me, and it’s a nice feeling.”

Bruce wanted to fight about your beauty some more but dropped it. Instead, he just watched how a small blush crept to your cheeks, whenever you talked about Bucky, and he had to smile to himself. Bucky was one lucky bastard, that was for sure.

“OK, Miss-in-love, but save me one dance, will you? Even us less fortunate would like to spend some time in your presence.”

You both laughed, and in the same breath, you promised Bruce that you’d dance with him, even if it weren’t one of your favourite activities.

You excused yourself because you really needed to get your make-up and hair done, and mentally prepare yourself for what the night might bring. You weren’t a pro at doing any of those things, so you naturally asked Hannah if she could help, and she was all in. Thank God, you thought, it would be a total disaster otherwise.

“So, are you like, in love now, or what, Y/N?” Hannah smirked while applying eyeliner. You wanted to cringe, or furiously shake your head, but didn’t want to mess up the work she’s been doing for about an hour now. “No, of course not. I just like him, that’s all, it would be bizarre if I were in love with him when I don’t even know if he means the stuff this way, right?”

“It wouldn’t be crazy, and you’re not fooling me, girl. I see right through you. Say all you want, but I’m telling you, you more than just like Bucky. And that’s a good thing.”

You didn’t want to admit anything, not to her, not to yourself. So you just mumbled quiet yeah, whatever, and continued to be occupied with your own thoughts and let Hannah do the magic.

When she was finished, she brought you to a mirror. You didn’t quite recognise yourself, to be fair. It was a little too much, but you didn’t want to say anything. “You sure about this? I mean, I look like a doll, a little.”

“You’re a total doll, Y/N! And that’s what guys like, you know? They all say how they like us the way we are, but that’s bullshit. They want us all plastic and stuff. Trust me, Bucky won’t even see anyone else in the room.”

You just smiled at her and looked at your reflection. What you didn’t understand was why you had to be this eccentric while she was all naturally cute. Right, you thought, it’s because I’m not naturally lovely, that’s why I have to wear so much of everything.

You wanted to have a drink before you went to the party, but then a light knock sounded from the door, and your heart felt like it would explode any second. “He’s here, go and charm him, Y/N. I’ll be there, watching how it all goes.” He smiled warmly and kissed your cheek before she pushed you towards the door.

When you opened it, your breath hitched in your throat. Bucky, who was usually very close to a freaking Greek God, was now just perfect. His suit fit him perfectly, his hair styled so that it didn’t fall to his face, and his magnificent features were more visible now. He briefly looked at Hannah and then give all his attention to you. His eyes widened a bit, but then he shook his head and smiled. “You look amazing, doll. Shall we?”

You still couldn’t find the right words, so you followed him without a word, blushing like a crazy. When you shook the nervousness out of your body, you complimented Bucky on his look, only for him to say, “Anything for my girl,” and you were a puddle again.

When you came to the ballroom, you greeted a few people and looked around to see that most women were wearing black, or at least dark dresses. You were starting to feel insecure, well, even more, insecure than you did staring at your reflection. Bucky probably felt you moving a little too much and squeezed your waist.

“Stop it, you look awesome, doll. If anything, it will be easier for me to find you in the crowd of boring black.” You giggled and calmed down a little. After all, you wanted to look good for Bucky, not for anyone else.

As the night progressed, you drank a little, danced a lot and overall, had so much fun. Bucky was mostly beside you, whispering sweet nothings to your ear, which only resulted in you blushing like a teenage girl on a first date.

You were currently dancing with Bruce, finally getting to the promise you gave him. “I thought you didn’t like dancing that much. But you’re a great dancer, Y/N! You should totally dance these shoes off tonight!”

“You’re just being nice, Bruce. I stepped on your toes like a 100 times.” He laughed at this. “Yeah, but I mean, I’m lucky you let me be the one on whose toes you§re stepping.” You both laughed at this and continued to dance for like three more songs. One of which was Macarena and the image of Bruce Banner dancing to that song will be forever embedded in your brain. You almost peed yourself from laughing.

“I’m gonna go use the ladies room. If there’s like a chicken dance or something, don’t you dance before I get back. I need to see this.” Bruce just slurred yeah, yeah, whatever, and continued his kind of battle with Dr Cho. You smiled at the scene and hurried to the restrooms.

You were almost there when you heard familiar voices. You wanted to make the final step around the corner, but then you heard your name. You stopped in your tracks and listened. You thought as they were your closest friends, that Bucky was telling Hannah about how much he liked you. But boy, were you wrong.

“I mean, the dress? Hahahaha, it was just so hideous I had to put it on her.” It was Hannah’s voice echoing through the hallway. Your heart clenched.

“It is gold! I mean, did she really think she looked good? Good, and the way she would always lean on me, she’s so pathetic, right? I love this too much. I mean, she really thinks I’d be interested in a girl like her. Pfff. Look at me and look at her. It’s ridiculous.” Bucky laughed so loud you flinched. You wanted to turn around and just leave, but the masochistic side of you needed to stay and hear everything they had to say.

“She’s totally just a lab rat, no style, nothing. It makes me cringe that people actually see the two of us together, but I’m having too much fun to stop this. This was a perfect idea, babe.” You heard a smooching noise and felt the bile almost in your mouth.

“But, she’s not like in love with me, right?” Hannah just laughed and dismissed the idea. You wanted to die there and then. It was all too much. The two people you trusted most in the compound played a long, long trick on you, probably always having a good laugh whenever you gushed about Bucky.

The tears welled up in your eyes, but you wouldn’t be caught dead crying in a public place. You wanted to both go there and punched them both, and just run away. When you imagined their faces, your stomach made a salto, and you took that as a cue to run towards your room.

You could hear Bruce calling your name, but you just smiled through your gritted teeth, made a sign that you’re tired, and hurried towards your room.

Once there, you made your way towards the bathroom and emptied the content of your stomach. After that, you were just sitting on a cold floor, finally letting your own bitter tears crush around you.

/ Next Chapter >

Tags: @iheartsebastianstan @owlyannah @readermia @kolakube9 @ibookishqueen @thewintersoldierswifu @emogril @the-melancholyfeels @pinkleopardss @supervengerslock @the-soulofdevil @jessyballet @sebbbystaaan

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If you like the story, please reblog :) any comments are appreciated, even the critical one. Always a space to get better, so let me know what you guys think xx

#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #avengers #avengers fanfiction #bruce banner #after all #fluff #angst #asshole bucky

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my-whumpy-little-heart · 3 years

Text

More Like Cost-No!

Crackcember: Day 4

Epic driving times with the boys because they simply would not shut up this chapter!

Content warnings: light head injury, reckless driving and crash mention, pet whump mention/implication (just used as a joke though)

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Hilbert’s ankles banged against a couple of stairs as they stepped up to the front of the RV, settling into the passenger seat with one final shove.

Dennis fastened his own seatbelt and didn’t bother to help Hilbert. He focused instead on slipping the key into the ignition, finally starting the vehicle on the third twist, and pulling out of the driveway.

“Dennis, I don’t have my seatbelt yet, hold on-!” Hilbert protested and Dennis stepped on the gas, sending them flying down the street.

“We’re wasting daylight! No sense in waiting,” he shrugged, skidding around a left turn and flinging Hilbert into the door.

“Yes, but the speed limit sign says twenty-five miles per hour,” he grumbled, sitting back up with a wince, “and you’re- you’re going-” he cut himself off, jaw going slack. “Where the hell is your speedometer?!”

“What’s that?” Dennis asked innocently, throwing them into another too-tight left turn. The thunk of Hilbert’s head against the window and subsequent groan of pain was incredibly satisfying.

“You- agh!- you can’t seriously tell me you don’t know what that is.”

“I can tell you anything I like.”

“I don’t have to believe it,” Hilbert grumbled, eyes scanning back over the dashboard.

“I could always make you if you’re gonna be like that,” Dennis rolled his eyes.

“You literally can’t! I- there’s duct tape on the dash. You actually covered the speedometer with duct tape. What is it with you and duct tape?!”

“Handy dandy tool, solves all your problems!” The madman embodied an infomercial, rosy cheeked smile and all.

“Knowing how fast you’re driving is not a fucking problem!”

“Excuse you, taking your eyes off the road is a major health risk. Distractions cause accidents, and that pointer going up and down definitely qualifies as such, so I solved the problem! Didn’t you pay any attention in Driver’s Ed?”

“You’re the one who should be answering that question,” Hilbert scoffed, sinking back into his seat. Dennis obviously wasn’t in the mood to give a reasonable answer anyway, so he switched topics. “Where are we going anyway?”

“Shopping, obviously. Food, drink, entertainment… we’ve gotta stock up for our big trip!”

“And… after that?” He reminded himself he’d be out of there long before that would even matter, but his curiosity was too strong to resist asking anyway.

“Wherever the road takes us,” Dennis answered simply, making one final abrupt left turn up a steep incline into a shopping center. He whirled into a parking spot and slammed on the brakes. The sudden stop nearly sent Hilbert headfirst through the windshield, but his whiteknuckled grip on the seat saved him.

Dizzily, he glanced at all their surroundings and realized he’d been here many times before. It was quite the odd choice for a food shopping trip though, considering the only thing that could be considered a grocery store was… completely out of the question.

“Uhh, Dennis, where are we even going?” “I told you. Wherever the wind-”

“No, dipshit, here. Where are we gonna pick up those snacks you promised? Are you planning on grabbing something tasty from Petco?”

“Suddenly got a hankering for some kibble, Hilbert?” Dennis burst into laughter, “Or, ooh, you got a collar in mind? If that’s where you wanna take this I’m all for experimentation!”

“No,” Hilbert felt faint at the mere suggestion.

“That’s what I thought. Nah, we’re going to the superior -co store.”

“...Taco bell?”

“Costco!!” Dennis threw his hands in the air, and Hilbert flinched just hearing the name. He felt his breathing pick up and his hands start to tremble.

“You can’t- you can’t be serious,” he stammered, wide eyes looking for any sign that his captor was lying, playing this as a joke before they drove somewhere else.

“Oh come on, you can’t seriously tell me you’ve got something against Costco. Everybody loves Costco,” Dennis insisted.

“I- sure, but I don’t even have a Costco membership! I won’t be able to get in there!” Dennis wordlessly flashed his own membership card. “Okay, well, I’m… I just can’t go,” Hilbert sighed, curling in on himself.

“Awful try. Let’s get you out of there now.” Dennis flicked out a pocket knife and sawed through the duct tape around his ankles. He ripped it off, muffling the resulting shout with a quick hand over Hilbert’s mouth, then trailed the knife up his leg, careful not to nick the bare skin, and started on the tape around his wrists.

“What if I try to run away, huh?” Hilbert blurted out. “You won’t be able to stop me in a public store like that. So- so you shouldn’t take me in. Just leave me out here. Then I won’t- I can’t ruin your shopping experience.”

“Mmh, you seem awful desperate to avoid this. Surely you wouldn’t happen to be a member of some other bulk store…?”

Hilbert couldn’t cover his guilty reaction quickly enough. The moment he saw Dennis’s face light up, he knew he’d lost the battle.

“Fine. I’m... a Sam’s Club member.” He cringed, waiting for the reaction. The grating laughter wasn’t a surprise, but it still hurt.

“Pfff, that’s the silliest thing you’ve said yet! Your name isn’t even Sam!”

“That has literally no bearing on this. I am a loyal member of a store I trust so I-”

“Shut it with that hogwash. We’re going to have a lovely time shopping at Costco,” Dennis smiled, leaning over the seat and pressing his knife against Hilbert’s neck in an obvious threat, “and you don’t have a choice in the matter.”

#whump #crackwhump #crackcember #head injury #I don't have a Costco membership??!#reckless driving #car crash mention #dennis let hilbert wear a seatbelt someday challenge #nobody should ever have to be in a vehicle with dennis #Dennis Mennis #Hilbert Griffith #eggbert is still safe and sound in the bag #i think i tagged everything important #today is the first day i went past my 4pm deadline. hoorayyy lol #brain out here being fried #so is body. staying home from bowling because things are really still funky with my physical form #hmm okay do i have anything else left to say....#next chapter is actual costco hours #for the record: i'm a sam's club person #oh and i'll bring back the tag that i left on the crackcember list a month or two ago that eventually grew into this part of the story:#whumpee: oh shit. no wait. we can't go here. please! whumper! i'm a sam's club person!! please no!#ta-daaaa hilbert says no costco. not like dennis really cares #tomorrow: shenanigans #oh btw this is largely unedited because i hecking Tired so forgive any obvious mistakes

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ick25 · 5 years

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Rockman.EXE Episode 44 Review.

What am I looking at here? The predecessor of the Advance PET from Axess or my Gameboy Advanced?

Hmm....

“Betrayed!!!”

We start the episode in a castle at night with the comeback of our friend Poipu aka Princess Pride doing some work on her computer and putting on lip stick between shots.

She takes a little break to drink some tea and looks over at a picture of her with Netto she must’ve taken somehow at some point during episode 39, along with the bandana he gave her for that unnecessary wound she did to herself.

That picture looks way better than the art style used in that episode.

An alarm suddenly goes off and one of her bodyguards tells her that someone is trying to destroy the main system. After this, we cut to Netto falling off his bed due to an emergency call coming from his PET. Netto recognizes his friend Poipu and an evil looking Knigthman who is seen destroying something.

“Poipu? What’s with the costume?”

After the title card we see Netto on Yaito’s private commercial plane worried about his friend as he walks in a diamond, I would say his walking in circles, but that carpet makes it confusing.

Netto’s thinking face is cute. :3

BTW Rush is there with them doing something “funny”, but since I hate him I’m gonna skipped as many scenes I can with him. These are my reviews, I take all the screencaps I want!

They ask about Creamland, and Glyde tells them that it is an island nation far to the north that is covered in snow most of the year.

I want to talk a little about Creamland here. Glyde’s description makes Creamland sound like it was suppoused to be based on Greenland, but in the Stream saga, Creamland passes from an island to a country fighting over an unclaimed territory with Sharo.

Now, considering that Sharo is actually based on Russia this would make Creamland look like Finland. That is the power of plot convinience, the power to move islands to the continent!

So what is it then? Greenland or Finland? I have no idea, but we can all agree that Creamland is a Scandinavian country. It could even be Iceland for all I know.

Anyway, once they land on Sweden, I mean Creamland, the incompetent bodyguards from episode 39 enter the plane and basically kidnap Netto and his friends taking them to a horse carriage.

There also seems to be a design problem here with the blond bodyguard driving the carriage since in the fourth panel it looks like she is inside. Maybe they messed up the backgrounds? O-O

Netto and Meiru comment on how the town looks old yet people are seen with computers, which is basically how many countries in Europe look like. After one of the bodyguards gets a call from a standard Navi on their weird looking flip top PET they finally arrive at the castle where Netto sees the princess who happily runs over to hug him.

That is not how you should hug a kid. I swear, her boob is on his face in the fifth panel, how old is this girl? o_o

Meiru gets jealous, but just then an alarm goes off. They all run to a room where the main computer for Creamland’s data is (which someone somewhere describes before they enter the room) and we see that Knightman is the cause.

The princess has to explain to them what a firewall is for whatever reason... Wait, Knightman got who?

Oh, a character from Battle Network 2′s post game, I never got to fight him though. =C

Knightman breaks a hole in the firewall and Rockman and his friends appear to confront him. Rockman asks Knightman why he is doing this, but Knightman doesn’t answer and keeps attaking them.

Oh goody, the eyebrows are back. It’s been a while.

Speaking of whiles, Netto activates the Heat Guts style scaring everyone into thinking that he is gonna delete Knightman since, you know, the last time we saw him use the Heat Guts against a Navi was when he accidentally deleted Airman. But instead Rockman creates a distraction for Knightman so he can swoop in and knock him out.

And before this episode I never realized that he has like a V under his waist in the Heat Guts Style. It almost looks like he’s wearing a thong. o.o

After this we see Knightman getting scanned as Netto and the princess are having a conversation in a balcony. Netto asks why someone would attack the firewall and the princess tells him that it might be the work of “Darkland”. I am not kidding that is actually what it’s called.

In the dub, Creamland was changed to Brightland so that this would make sense. Get it? Brightland’s enemy is Darkland? It might sound silly, but I guess its less confusing than having a country that sounds like Ice Creamland that has nothing to do with desserts.

The princess then gets a call from Moltanicman AKA Napalmman telling her that he will patrol the area along with Rockman. Netto asks her about Napalmman and she explains with a flashback.

Yeah... I can’t be the only one who finds this story suspitious. Knightman “rescued” Napalmman who claims that he has no memory of what happend to him and suddenly swears loyalty to the princess and Knightman? Sounds fishy to me.

Anyway, Pride starts to worry about Knightman, and Netto assures her that everything will be okay since he is at her service! This is enough for her to hug Netto again, something a nosey Rush spies on before Meiru finds him and gets jealous again in a scene cutted from the dub.

I guess the dub considered little girls getting jealous over this is unsuitable for a kid show, also Rush feels like a pervert here.

We see Napalmman and Rockman patroling a corridor that looks like the inside of the castle in the dark before they decide to split up. We then see Yaito saying that she is lost and then plugs into a connection on the wall to ask Glyde to help her find her way back to her room. Glyde tells her that might take while before she suddenly decides to tell him that she needs a bathroom, what a surprise.

Glyde is walking in a corridor of what looks like a dungeon only to be ambushed by a Navi who is totally not Napalmman. Not Napalmman uses some weird light show from his eyes to hypnotize Glyde before commercials.

After commercials we see that Yaito managed to find a bathroom without Glyde before the power goes out in the castle. An alarm is sound and Rockman finds the culprit in the dark. Roll, Gutsman and Iceman are there too and they ambush the intruder who turns out to be Glyde.

Somehow, Glyde became strong enough to break free. Zombie Glyde tries to attack, but then this happens.

Iron ball? You mean the Canon Ball chip? Because I dont think that’s how that chip works.

This was a diversion so that not Napalmman could destroy the firewall using the hole Knightman did earlier.

They can see it from there? Since when? Also, what’s with the sudden coloring mistakes on that panel?

All of Creamland’s data is in the shape of a castle, that’s why Pride pictures the enemy Navis destroying a medieval kingdom.

Where is your viking pride, Creamland? XD (Pun intended)

Rockman runs over to where the firewall program is where Nalpalmman reveals himself as a Navi from Darkland.

Pfff. Sorry, why did they draw Pride’s face like that? She looks constipated. :s

Netto activates the Style change and Rockman changes into the Elec Team style, I honestly don’t know why because right now he has no Navi to fuse with.

Napalmman attacks him, but Rockman evades his shots and fires a Zap ring that Napalmman counters with another attack.

The what ring? Wasn’t that just a Zap ring?

Rockman attacks Napalmman with another attack I never heard of until now, but the darkland Navi proves to be tough by blocking his attack and then kicking him without even moving from where he is.

I think that kick was cutted from dub because I don’t remember that part.

Napalmman shoots him while he’s down, but Netto sends a satelite chip to protect him. Napalmman fires again multiple times, Rockman evades them, but ends up being surrounded by the undying flames he created.

With Rockman cornered Napalmman fires a Napalm bomb, but just then, Knightman appears to protect him.

You didn’t realized he escaped? Shouldn’t you put an alarm for that? Creamland security really sucks.

Knightman uses his wrecking ball to destroy the flames surrounding them, but is still very weak from last time. Napalmman plans to take out both of them by creating a chemical reaction by combining two diferent attacks.

This makes sense for Navi called NAPALMman. (Look it up if don’t get it)

Rockman and Knightman decide to join forces again, this time by using the magical extension chip Pride suddenly has and knows about, and Netto downloads Knightman into Rockman. Rockman shoots some giant ball of electricity he calls a Royal Wrecking Terra Volt that destroys the ball of chemicals and deletes Napalmman where he stands.

“Curse my laziness to move from this spot!”

Napalmman is deleted, but it’s not over yet, Rockman still has to restore the firewall somehow.

Wait, Knightman is conscious during this? Are all the Navis Rockman fuses with still conscious inside of him? O_O

Rockman uses the Royal Wrecking to close the Firewall program manually.

For the record, there was no imminent treath going on during this, the dub decided to add the alarm saying “ Enemy forces approaching, firewall restored, enemy forces retrieving”, just to add some excitement.

Rockman succesfully restores the firewall and Princess Pride makes Meiru jealous one more time by getting touchy with Netto again.

“What? She’s the one hugging me inappropriately!”

And before the final scene we get Netto’s biggest and most infuriating display of stupidy we’ve seen so far. He just now realized that Poipu was the princess of Creamland!

We all know Netto isn’t the brightest bulb in the game and anime, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH! Even Tohru and Dekao feel ashamed for him.

So everyone laughs at Netto, including Rockman still in the Elec Team Style, and we find out that Freezeman was watching them. Not only does he reveal that he wanted Creamland and Darkland to destroy eachother, but we finally get a glimpse of what the leader of Gospel looks like. And the episode ends with said leader laughing ominously with an aerial view of Internet city, hinting that something bad is going to happen there...Again.

If you were expecting me to call this guy Shuryou, sorry to dissapoint you, but turns out that is not a name, its just his title.

My thoughts?

This was an okay episode, it was an improvement from that terrible animation and story we had in episode 39, even thought there were a few mistakes in this one.

In some parts of America, episode 39 was aired out of order because the first time I saw Princess Pride was from this episode and I had no idea how Netto knew her. The dialogue change also made it confusing, in “Pretty Pretty Princess” Pride tells Lan(Netto) that her name is... Whip? But in this episode he already calls her Princess Pride. How did he know she was the princess of Creamland if she never told him in that episode? The dub might’ve tried to hint that they kept in touch after their day together, and at the same avoid making Lan the dumbest kid in the world! I mean, how dense do you need to be to not figure out that she was the princess?! You don’t get to chill at some random balcony in a castle with the head of Creamland’s security or whatever you though her job was (But he probably didn’t even wondered why she was protecting Creamland’s data) At the end, Lan gets a medal and a title from the princess and asks what that title means.

This episode introduces Napalmman, a Navi you can fight in the post game in BN2, something I never got to do. I fought against and as Napalmman in BN5 Team Protoman, so I don’t know if his attacks were different back then. Napalmman could be found deep in the WWW area in the second game, but in the fifth game he has an operator and becomes an ally, and since the post game doesn’t seem to be canon with the story, neither Netto or Rockman recognized Napalmman.

Knightman, Princess Pride and Napalmman are not seen again until the Stream Saga.

#Rockman.exe #MegaMan NT Warrior #megaman battle network #anime #dub vs sub #my reviews #gameboy advance

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nerd-breached-containment · 5 years

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The Battle of the Centuries - LPS100 vs. Grim Matchstick

Or Log #8 if ya may.

I remember in 24th of December, at 4 in the morning, I said to my sunshine “Meanwhil m jst “whos worse: wally warbles or grim matchsticks?”.

And we both got this lil gem:

At first, I just laughed. “Grim? The next binch? Pfff, nah, it’s gonna be Wally. Djimmi proved that I suck at flight levels”.

From Wednesday, 26th, to Friday, 28th, my birthday, it begin what was seemingly a literal neverending battle.

Between me... and Grim Matchstick, of all characters.

I cannot beginning to explain how fucking horrific it was to battle this asshole, I started with happiness, with confidence that I was going to defeat him in under 40 deaths. I was dead fucking wrong.

It took me a course of THREE FUCKING DAYS just to beat him. Three. Days. And I thought Djimmi was the biggest challenge, was the bitch that nearly broke me, but n o, Grim broke me, Grim made angry, Grim nearly made me cry whenever I died and was inches from ending it, Grim made me panic so many times whenver I reached final phase. I beg you to believe me, when I finally figured out how to go through the first few phases without damage, about 8-12 deaths was me inches from ending. That fucking close to end the nightmare.

I knew what to do.

I knew what I was doing was correct.

It was the pressure. The nerves of if I get hit, just once, my groove would break up and I would be lost, taking more hits and then, one.single.mistake... and back to the beginning.

But, a neverending battle has to start with a peaceful beginning...

After beating Wally and Funhouse Frazzle, which did made me cry due to a costly mistake, I decided to go up and face Grim Matchstick in the next day. I followed an advice that was “Charge is excellent for Grim” so my weapons were Roundabout and Charge.

After 2 deaths, I changed to Peashooter ... and only after 44 deaths, we both remembered that Charge got nerfed and is useless now, so Roundabout it is.

Now, what caused most of the 44 deaths? The god.fucking.damn jumping fireballs, that’s why. They are very mischievous and tricky as fuck, they will homing on you but from where you were, so if you were on the second “floor”, to the right side, they will jump to there.

The thing is sometimes, the altitude of the jump would change, even though my position was second “floor”, they would jump high enough to hit the third “floor”, resulting in either me jumping but landing onto them, me jumping but still get hit, or me successfully avoiding it but landing on the tongue or a cloud that’s on their level. So, you can consider this as the Puphead of Grim, it kept eating my health away or annihilating me in seconds.

For example:

9th death took me off guard because I wasn’t expecting it to jump up to this high;

14th death also did the same thing;

And, in some occasions, they would start jumping in fucking herds, in one of the tries, about 5-6 fires jumped one right after the other, which I’m still surprised how none of them hit me.

If it wasn’t that phase that annihilated me, it was the first phase. The tail will start wiggling and then rise up, and just like the fireballs, it will start wiggling from where you last were, so sometimes it would either catch me off guard... or corner me with the meteors, which I would either dash but still hit them or dash sucessfully but land on nothing.

The eye beans would also corner me and because parrying wasn’t my best,t he last one would do the job. After so.many.deaths, often times, the first few eye beans were so predictable that I would nail the parry on the first one and make the second eye bean aim upwards.

Around the 30th death mark, I should be close to the final phase like in Djimmi, I would have that feeling of “I know what to do, I’ve reached the final phase, I know what to do!”. That doesn’t apply here.

I would either get annihilated on the 1st phase or 2nd phase, whenever I did get to the final phase, I had no idea what to do. The reason why I won Djimmi’s battle with 49 ass kicks was because I successfully got to the final phase with full health and used the extra hits to my advantage and won.

Here? I barely got to the final phase. Hell, even when I reached the 40th death mark, I still had no idea what to do. Even after getting rid of the Charge weapon, I still had no idea or a clue or even a strategy on what to fucking do.

Only, and I shit you not, only at death 60 fucking 3, I was finally at the final phase for a longer time and nearly ended the fight... by an inch.

That would be the absolute closest call. After 63 deaths, I got that close to end him. I thought “Ok, I’m close to finish him”.

But the ride never ended.

My hands were starting to freeze due to the cold weather, I had to wear gloves but it was fingerless gloves because I couldn’t feel anything with full-hand gloves.

After 88 ass kicks, I called it a day and took a break, hoping that in the next day, I would defeat him.

But the ride never ended.

Now I can start saying the major problems with the final phase, first off:

The transition would lag my fucking game, and it did killed me because of it. Due to all the shit it had to load at once (the animation transition, the rain, the thunder, ect), I was forced to make sure I did the least amount of movement to avoid lagging the game. Only after a good couple of deaths, the lag gradually decreased;

The flamethrower would also fuck me up greatly, specially when there was no upper cloud to keep myself safe so I had to use the lower clouds... which would lead me to death.

But, the biggest problem were...

The fireballs. Fuck the fireballs so much, this is essentially why the Charge is recommended against Grim because you hold to charge and then release when it’s fully charged up. But I’m not good with precision and all the times that I used Charge, I never went far. So if I wanted to go far, I had to take the risk of using the Peashooter.

So, how does the fireballs work? Similair to the balloons in Funfair Fever, it’s a fireball inside a bubble, the moment you shoot it, it breaks into four, all going in a vertical and horizontal manner so, whenever they started shooting at me, I had to extra careful because:

The fireballs would homing on me from where I was;

It takes just one bullet to break them;

The speed of how many they would shoot would differ so, they could shoot one and then after a few 6 seconds shoot another, or shoot one right after the other;

They have three heads so I had to take awareness of where would they come from because if I was at the top of the screen and the fireball would be shot from below, then the fireball would be shot in a diagonal manner;

Let me fucking tell you. About 90% of my deaths during that phase was from those fireballs. I either would jump at the wrong time, accidentally drop downwards into a fireball, the little.fucking.tip of the fireball would touch me, OR my spacebar or S key wouldn’t respond to the input, resulting me in either dying from a fireball to the face or me just falling down to the abyss.

And sure, one could say “why not use the Chaser? It auto-homes on them!” well... that also applies to the fires.

In the next day, I went to buy the Chaser which while it worked beautifully with the second phase, because it allowed me to escape the fireballs easily while hitting him...

...It was an absolute disaster with the final phase. It also homes-in on the fireballs, creating more chaos and killing me.

So, if the Peashooter was going well with me, and the Chaser is excellent against the second phase... after an horrible attempt with the Peashooter+Roundabout, and an attempt with the Chaser+Roundabout which, once again, I was close to beat it:

I finally came up with a strategy: Peashooter+Chaser. I used the Peashooter during the first phase, then switched to Chaser during the second phase, then, during the final phase, I would carefully shoot him with the Peashooter and when the flamethrower would start, I would switch to the Chaser to keep hitting him while keeping myself safe, then switch back to Peashooter to avoid homing in on the fireballs.

I always kept reseting whenever I either took a hit in the first phase or took took hits in the second phase because I had to go to the finall phase with either full health or two hits left.

Ladies and Gentlemen and Graces, in a course on 3 deaths, I was close to beat him three fucking times in a row.

And after two more deaths... another beatdown that was also inches from ending...

... And another...

After a few deaths, aaaaaaaaaand another:

I had to take a break because my spacebar kept not responding to my input and when you start getting angry at your keyboard, that’s a sign to take a break.

I just utterly lost my hope, my happiness, my confidence, everything, because the rider kept never ending. I was that close multiple times but I just kept failing.

After a long, needing break, I finally returned to him. But, this time, I had a new idea...

I have the second Super Art - Invincibility. Ahenever I go through the first phase, I always had the Super bar full and using the first Super Art when the second phase is transitioning or during the first phase would either result in death or not hitting at all.

But, with invincibility, I could get some extra hits on him during final phase without worrying about the fireballs. And so, I changed it and see if it worked. I noticed that invincibility lasted all the cards, meaning that through the course of the cards going down, I could directly hit him. It seems this strategy might work.

Once again, I’ve been inches from defeating him 3 times in a row, and this is where the pressure would build up even more:

Because invincibility allows me to hit him directly, it means that I had to trigger it when I thought it was possible or even whenever I took a hit. So, If I was say... at 1 HP, I would trigger it and get some extra hits. After some deaths, I noticed that I could ex shoot him three times during the first phase, making the second phase even shorter and still build up the meter.

After some retries, and one death... I finally fucking did it. The moment “Knockout!” appeared, I put my hands in air and screamed “OH MY GOD, I DID IT!”.

I got a B but I didn’t cared. I was tearing up of happiness, after constantly thinking that the ride would never end, in a course of three days...

Grim Matchstick takes the fucking lead, the fucking throne and the fucking crown from Djimmi the Great with an unbelievable A HUNDRED AND TWENTY FUCKING NINE ASS KICKS.

Yes, you heard it right, a 129 Ass Kicks. With the death counter increasing from...

Inkwell Isle 1′s total Ass Kicks and overall total of Ass Kicks: 131

Inkwell Isle 2 - Ass Kicks:

Baroness Von Bon Bon: 15

Beppi the Clown: 18

Wally Warbles: 23

Djimmi the Great: 49

Grim Matchstick: 129

Inkwell Isle 2′s Ass Kicks: 278

Total of Ass Kicks: 409

Now, I’m off to fight Captain Brineybeard because I don’t think I have the mental capacity to fight Rumor Honeybottoms who’s just Grim Matchstick but vertically.

See ya’ll soon with another Log.

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 6 years

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The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 43

This is the fricking 22nd longest fic in the fandom at this point, why am I like this, KIM’S A MINOR CHARACTER IN THE SHOW WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF SERIOUSLY

Also on AO3 as always

Marinette’s parents were lovely, they really were. But every time Adrien woke up, all he could think about was Marinette herself. Her eyes, her lips, her precious laugh, the cute way she’d still occasionally stutter over her sentences, her confidence when it came to royal matters, the little freckles on her nose…

He missed her. He missed her so much. It had only been a few weeks, yet it already felt like it had been years. The problem was that he didn’t really know anyone here. It was starting to feel like house arrest again, and that was the last thing he wanted. The reason he was even here in Cheng in the first place was to escape house arrest!

Things might have been better if Marinette’s parents knew who he really was. Every time he heard them call him “Felix” or refer to him as a duke, his heart sank a little further. Lying to them was the worst feeling in the world. But what else was he supposed to do? His father had spies here, no doubt. He couldn’t jeopardize everything that everyone had sacrificed for him by revealing his true identity. Not yet, anyway. Maybe someday.

Over in the Bourgeois Empire, on another continent entirely, several timezones away, Marinette herself was feeling much the same way. It was simply so hard for her to focus without Adrien here. Was this true love? Or was it merely obsession, infatuation? It wasn’t like she could tell the difference. Maybe it didn’t matter. It hurt either way.

At least she wasn’t alone. Alya and Nino missed him too. They were there for her when she needed it, and she tried her best to be there for them too. She wasn’t the only one who cared about Adrien, after all.

Chloé cared about Adrien too…

Alright, maybe Chloé wasn’t so bad all the time. Being at this school seemed to have eroded away some of her haughtiness. She was still hard to speak to, but at least they were on the same side. Keeping Adrien safe was what mattered now. They had to put aside their differences and focus on that.

When Kim went back to the first duelling club session of the year, he had expected it to feel much lonelier without Adrien there. To his surprise, there were actually two new people who had joined up, and two of the last people he had been expecting.

“Welcoming to the duelling club our newest members, Their Royal Highnesses Princesses Sabrina and Mylène,” the instructor drawled. Most of the nobles hurriedly pushed themselves into bows and curtseys. Kim, however, just laughed and pointed his sword at them.

“You guys?” he said. “Seriously?”

Sabrina unsheathed a sword – not a fencing one, but a proper military one. “My kingdom has long revered the art of jousting, which is a much more challenging sport than simple fencing, so I fully expect to be good at this. And it might help me protect myself against all the rebellions currently happening back home.”

She sounded far colder than Kim had ever heard her – though to be fair, he had only ever really heard her sucking up to Chloé and that was it. He vaguely remembered people at the peace conference mentioning uprisings in Raincomprix, though he hadn’t much paid attention at the time since that all sounded so far away. Jeez, what was even happening in Sabrina’s country that was causing the commoners to revolt against their own rulers?

“And what about you?” he asked Mylène, though a little more gently. He knew she probably didn’t like him much, considering how he used to act towards Ivan. Hopefully she would warm up to him soon.

“I want to be able to protect myself,” she said quietly. “My kingdom isn’t… doing so well right now.”

Wait, what was Mylène’s kingdom called again? It was on the tip of his tongue but he just couldn’t remember! From his tutorial sessions with Max he remembered that it was a little mountainous country wedged directly between the vast empires of Bourgeois and Agreste, and neither paid much attention to it… Would it be rude to ask, considering he’d been in her class for over a year now and still didn’t know? Maybe he’d just have to go ask Max later.

Yes… that would be a good excuse to go hang out with Max again. Studying, of course. Geography lessons. Totally nothing to do with wanting to stare at Max’s precious face again, or listen to his smooth, silky voice, talking to him for hours on end, in close proximity…

He shook himself out of it. Now was not the time to be daydreaming about Max! He’d end up losing these duels for sure, otherwise, and it would be so humiliating to be defeated by a couple of newbies.

“I can show you guys the ropes,” he bragged. “Now that Adrien’s gone, I’m the best fencer here.”

The nobles started giggling. Kim turned to them, expecting them to be in awe of his amazing skills, only to see that their giggles seemed rather more… insulting. What?! Did they not believe him or something?! Okay, so he didn’t always win, but he was still pretty good, right?

“Not for long,” Sabrina said, flipping her hair out of her face. “I’ve already had plenty of practice with my father. Are you ready for a battle, Kim?”

Pffff, did she really think she was better than him? Some medieval princess whose country didn’t even have, like, trains?

“Heck yeah, I’m ready,” he said. “Are you sure you wanna be duelling in that long dress thing? Won’t that get in the way?”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“Alright, I’m just saying…”

The nobles, still giggling as always, stepped out of the way to let Sabrina and Kim have the space in the centre of the room. Mylène gave Sabrina a high five, then stepped back to watch. The instructor had what looked like the tiniest of smiles on his usually sour face.

“Um, are you gonna fight with that sword?” Kim asked. “Like… usually we don’t use actual swords here, just fencing ones…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you,” Sabrina replied coolly. Huh, was she really this confident when Chloé wasn’t around? Or was this a side-effect of the fact that Chloé had been turning into someone a lot nicer lately?

“Fine then. Let’s do this.”

The match that followed was a surprisingly tough one. Kim hadn’t expected Sabrina to be anywhere near that good at duelling. For starters, how did she even move in such a stiff-looking dress? And she was so nimble, too. Kim was used to facing opponents who were much more direct in their actions. Well, to be precise, he was more used to facing Adrien. He never really duelled anyone else here. The nobles mostly stuck to each other, not wanting to have to fight any of the royals.

When he finally lost the match, sitting on the ground with Sabrina’s sword at his throat, for several seconds he just sat there in surprise. As if from a distance, he watched as Sabrina high fived Mylène again, cheered on by the nobles as she did so. Then she held out her hand to help Kim up.

“That was a very good match. You’re a great opponent! I’m glad I’ve finally found someone it’ll actually be a challenge to duel against.”

A challenge, huh? That seemed to snap Kim’s brain back into action. He shook her hand, but then let go before standing up by himself without any help.

“That was fun,” he said. “But I am so gonna beat you someday.”

She looked taken aback. “I didn’t think you’d take your loss so well. But I suppose Chloé isn’t the only one who’s changed recently.”

“Pfff, I changed ages ago,” Kim said, running a hand through his hair, hoping those nobles were listening. He missed the days when they’d admire him as opposed to secretly laugh at him. “Did you know that I apologized to Ivan for being a jerk? See, I’m a cool person now. I swear I am.”

“It’s true,” Mylène said. “Ivan did tell me Kim apologized to him.”

“Exactly!”

Sabrina smiled, a sudden, unexpected one that looked somewhat out of place on her. “I’m sure Prince Max must be very pleased about your change of heart…”

What – Max??? Well of course, but why had she brought him up? How much did she know?!

“He thinks I’m awesome, obviously,” Kim said quickly, hoping he wasn’t blushing. Thinking about Max always seemed to do that to him these days.

“Sabrina, can you teach me how to duel?” Mylène asked.

“Sure I can! We’ll get you a practice sword first – come on…”

Kim watched as the two of them went off to begin their practice. Did Sabrina… know? Kim was sure that the only person who knew about his crush on Max was Alix, and that was because he had told her! How could she have figured it out? Was he that obvious? To be fair, maybe he really was. And Sabrina was one of the quiet ones, wasn’t she? If anyone would have noticed, it was her. But did she have to bring it up in front of all those nobles?!

Well, whatever. If things went well at the Cupid Festival, then everyone would soon know. Not too long left now…

School itself was mostly boring over the next few weeks. The only interesting thing that happened was when the new wing was revealed, construction having just about finished. It turned out to be new dormitories for some of the nobles, and most excitingly of all, a new gym. It had all the newest tech imported from abroad – weights, spinning cycles, treadmills, everything! Kim spent the days leading up to the grand opening standing at the window and staring, wishing he could be allowed in already. A place like that would be heaven for him!

A grand party was being held for the opening. It was optional, and the worst part was that Max had decided not to go. Kim tried not to feel too disappointed at the prospect of not being able to dance with him – whatever. It was fine. He could just go on his own.

The party had been announced as a formal occasion, so most people were wearing their best clothes, but the atmosphere certainly felt a lot more like the winter party than anything else. The only thing missing was the mistletoe. Nino had even snuck in and mixed in some of his own records at the music table and bribed the band to play those instead of their own songs, so everything sounded far more modern than usual. It might even have been fun, if Max had been there.

“I miss Adrien.”

Kim turned aside to see his old friend Marinette standing beside him, looking disheartened. He hadn’t even seen her smile at all over the past few weeks.

“He’d want you to have a good time,” Kim suggested, not wanting to say more about Adrien in case any of the guards were listening in. No one had been dropping any hints about Adrien’s whereabouts at all recently, especially with all the wanted posters for him everywhere. It was almost like he was an outlaw or something.

Marinette finally smiled, though just a little. “I’m glad Nino changed the music.”

“Me too. This electric guitar stuff is way better than anything else.”

“Oh, is that what this instrument is? I thought it sounded like some kind of strange violin!”

“Electric guitars are so cool, you have to see them! When I was on holiday in Alix’s kingdom she let me have a go at one of them once, it was awesome.”

“So, an electric guitar… is that just a normal guitar, except with an electric socket attached to make it sound cooler?”

“Pretty much. And they’re so cool. Rock music has ruined me forever, I can’t listen to anything else anymore.”

Marinette chuckled a little. “I have a feeling I’m going to end up the same way.” She looked around. “Is Max not here?”

Kim felt his heart sinking again. “Nah, he didn’t want to come. Neither did Alix. It’s just me.”

“Oh, you poor thing.” Her smile grew a little wider. “I was wondering if you were going to ask Max for a dance.”

“W-what?!”

Kim looked away, feeling his face heating up.

“I’m sure he would have said yes if he was here. I was expecting you to ask him, actually.”

“What? Why?” He let out a nervous laugh. “That’s so – um – random, like, why would I just ask Max, I mean…”

Oh god, he was making this worse. Marinette’s smile had transformed into a full-on grin.

“I’ve known you for a long time, Kim.”

“S-so?”

“So I know you very well indeed.”

She knew – she knew! How did she know?! How was Kim so obvious that everyone could tell, these days? Did that mean that Max knew too? Oh drat – please say Max didn’t know, that would be so embarrassing!

“Marinette, would you like to dance?” he asked hastily.

“You’re changing the subject.”

“Yeah but would you like to dance? Come on! It’ll be fun!” He held out his hand, remembering all the times the two of them had danced together as little kids. Part of him wanted those days back – nothing to worry about, just having a fun time with a good friend, with no pressure or responsibilities to get in the way.

Marinette shook her head. “Sorry, Kim. That’s very nice of you. But I just don’t feel like dancing right now. Maybe you should ask someone else?”

“Max isn’t here.”

“It doesn’t have to be Max! Seriously, you can’t get your mind off that boy, can you?”

Kim looked away again, wanting to kick himself. It was no wonder Marinette had noticed. He really was incredibly obvious, wasn’t he? What a disaster. He hadn’t been nearly this awful back when he still liked Chloé.

Hmm… Chloé…

She was standing at the corner of the dancefloor, talking to Lila. Those two were a couple, right? Then why weren’t they dancing?

“Chloé!” Kim called, running over to her. “Wanna dance?”

For a few seconds she looked at him with that familiar haughty expression that he was used to, though she quickly softened up. “Why?”

“You’re my friend now, right? It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t know how to dance to music like this, though.”

“Neither do I. We’ll just wing it.”

Lila giggled a little and nudged Chloé in the arm. “Go for it, babe. I promise I won’t laugh.”

Chloé rolled her eyes and smiled a little too. “Fine then. But for the record, I am much better at dancing to classical music than rock n roll, and the jive is a rather difficult dance to perform in an outfit like this, and–”

“Whatever!”

Kim grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dancefloor, laughing. The music was so fast and loud, with a strong beat and electric instruments – so different from everything they usually played at the school events. Nino had really done a good job with his music selection. No one else around here had any idea how to dance to this either, so did it really matter?

Anyway, this was the most fun Kim had ever had at a dance in his life. Even back as a little kid with Marinette, any dances they attempted would be stately ones. But now? He swung Chloé around wildly, her unrestrained laughter egging him on, spinning her round in circles over and over and dipping her almost right to the ground. Thank goodness she wasn’t wearing a wig tonight!

By the time the song ended Kim was out of breath and dizzy, hardly able to breath from laughing so much. Chloé seemed to be the same way.

“That was actually really fun!” she said, before turning to Lila and yelling, “Come here darling, it’s your turn now!”

Kim watched as Chloé dragged her sweetheart onto the dancefloor and began jiving with her even more enthusiastically, with Lila blushing and giggling and whooping. He chuckled to himself, then turned around to see–

Max?

He was standing there, staring at Kim with wide eyes, a small smile on his face.

“Hi Kim,” he said.

“Max! I, uh, didn’t realize you were gonna be here!” Kim quickly smoothed down the front of his shirt and ran a hand through his hair, hoping it didn’t look too messy and stupid. It probably did. Ack, did he look alright? Would Max even care about that?

“I changed my mind.”

“Cool! So… um…”

“Kim, would you like to dance?”

For a few seconds Kim just stood there, gawking like an idiot. He was so not prepared for this.

But he wanted this. Oh yes, he wanted it. While he had been dancing with Chloé, at least half of his thoughts had been that he wanted to do this with Max. Spin him around, hold him in his arms, hands clasped tightly together…

“It’s okay if you’re too tired,” Max continued. “Your dancing just now was very energetic.”

“Um… you were watching that?”

Max nodded. “It looked fun.”

Fun. It had been fun. And Max wanted to dance with him.

“I’m not that tired,” Kim said, trying very hard to sound casual. He leaned a hand against the wall next to him. “I’m an athlete, I don’t tire out easily.”

“Exactly what I thought.”

“So like… if you wanna dance with me, then sure, we like… can totally dance together… that’s cool…”

He ran another hand through his hair, knowing it was a mess. He hadn’t put enough hair gel in it. But he hadn’t realized Max was even going to be here! But then again, Max had known him for so long, he probably didn’t care about Kim’s hair at all. Max had nursed him through the flu, he’d seen Kim at his worst. Why should his hair even matter? Wh–

Max suddenly grabbed Kim’s hand and pulled him over to the dancefloor.

“I assume you’re much better at this kind of dance than I am, considering you and Chloé just now, so take the lead!”

Oh boy. Was this really happening?

Kim took Max’s other hand in his own. He glanced at the music table to see Nino giving him a thumbs up. Dang, did Nino know too? Who didn’t know at this point?

Oh well. He had wanted to dance with Max, and now was his chance. He had better make the most of it.

Somewhere on the opposite side of the hall, Alix surreptitiously tugged at Alya’s sleeve. “Alyaaaaa. I have to talk to you about something.”

Alya turned to look at her, frowning. “Alix? What are you doing here? You usually avoid these social event things like the plague.”

“I know. But I just had an idea and I can’t be bothered to wait, so I’m here. That’s why I’m in my pyjamas.”

Alya looked down at her and chuckled. “You’re way dorkier than I realized.”

“Shush. Anyway, um, you know how the Cupid Festival is coming up? And it’s overrated and awful and stupid and terrible and annoying?”

“I know it, yes.”

“Well I sorta need your help with something. I know two people who are totally in love with each other but the stupid idiots just won’t fricking get together already, so on the Cupid Festival I need to find a way to force them to get together or it’ll drive me mad, but I don’t know the first thing about stupid sappy lovey-dovey nonsense, so–”

“It’s Kim and Max, isn’t it?”

“WHAT? Haha, nooooo, of course it’s not them, it… okay, yeah, it’s them.”

Alya winked. “Spymaster Alya is never wrong! So, you want me to help you set up something romantic for them on the Cupid Festival?”

“Yeah. Because I genuinely have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Of course you don’t. But you’re not just getting something for nothing, you know. If you want my help, you’re going to have to… hmm… tell me a secret.”

Alix rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’m scared of needles. Is that good enough for you?”

“Nope.”

“I steal food all the time.”

“I could have told you that myself.”

“I once cried because I saw a baby rabbit and it was really adorable.”

“That’s hilarious, but still not good enough.”

“How is that not good enough?” Alix snapped. “What else am I meant to tell you? I once poured a load of chilli sauce into the Queen of Anglia’s sandwich and she still has no idea who did it! I didn’t know what The Talk was until like a month ago and I threw up when I found out! I’m aromantic! Anything else?”

Alya smiled rather ominously. “I want to know what happened when you and Kim got stuck in that lift.”

What? No. That was going too far.

“What happened in the lift stays in the lift,” she replied.

“Well then, I’m sorry but I’m not helping you.”

“Oh come on! It was nothing bad, I swear. But me and Kim made a pact not to tell anyone. It’s not like anyone would believe us anyway.”

“Did you have a fist fight? Or another, uh, kissing contest?”

“I’m not telling you. And for the record, you’ll never guess. Trust me.”

Alya folded her arms. “Well then, trust me when I say I am not going to help you out.”

“Fine. I don’t need your help anyway. I’ll just get everyone else in our class to help me instead, since they’ll be nice enough to do that.”

“Psssh, good luck.”

Ouch. Did Alya really have that little faith in her? Alix could be friendly, of course she could! Surely the others would agree to help her. Right?

She thought about going to the others, asking them all for help, individually. They’d probably just back away from her slowly, fearful for their lives. Drat. They wouldn’t want to help her either. But she’d already told Alya she would get their help, and she was not going to back down from that!

Well, in that case, between now and the Cupid Festival she was going to have to start being nice. Very nice indeed.

She cracked her knuckles. Time for Operation: Pharaoh Alix Is The Nicest Person In The Class. And Operation: Kimax. That too.

#i'm so glad i finally managed to drop the actual word 'kimax' into this fic now lol #anyway i'm trying to make these bits as funny/fluffy as possible because #there is UPCOMING ANGST #like serious serious angst #miraculous ladybug #royalty au #le chien kim #max kante #kimax #uh who else... let's see #alix kubdel #sabrina raincomprix #alya cesaire #marinette dupain cheng #random stuff #the misadventures of prince kim #aish writes

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itsclydebitches · 7 years

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Summary: A set of interconnected one-shots that surround Ruby and her favorite teachers.

Chapter One: Dr. Oobleck is very impressed by a certain team's unique study habits.

Chapter Two: After Weiss is injured in battle, Ruby seeks out extra training from Ms. Goodwitch.

Chapter Three: Unable to sleep, Ruby ends up having a late night conversation with the Headmaster.

This Chapter: After their talk by the lake, Ruby starts spending a lot more time in Ozpin's office.

Fandom: RWBY

Words: 13,875

Warnings: None

Pairings: None - gen

Where to Read it: Below the cut or on AO3 (AO3 recommended for formatting)

Headmaster Ozpin (2)

“Back again, Ms. Rose?”

Ruby looked up from her spot on the floor, books piled in her lap and a string of licorice dangling halfway out of her mouth. It was, as always, an adorable image, even moreso when the young girl’s eyes popped comically wide, her homework flying every which way as she scrambled to her feet.

Ozpin gazed down fondly—though he’d schooled his features by the time Ruby looked back up.

“Mm wowwry,” she mumbled, licorice bobbing.

“I’m afraid I don’t speak Full Mouth.”

Ruby blushed. She bit the candy, swallowing hard, and hid the rest of it behind her back. With an embarrassed grin she tried again. “I’m sorry. I was just... uh...” She looked down at the odd nest she’d made.

It certainly was something. Ruby had shucked her cloak and used it as a pillow-blanket combo, spreading out all her work (as well as some snacks) in a half circle. There were crumbs on the floor and a scuff from her boots, none of which would have been very notable if they hadn’t been directly outside the Headmaster’s office.

Ozpin pulled his elevator keys from his pocket, dangling them briefly. “Why don’t we go inside, hmm?”

Ruby nodded and by the time he’d opened the door the blast of wind and rose petals had gathered up all Ruby’s things.

In all honesty Ozpin wasn’t nearly as surprised to see Ruby as he appeared—and it had nothing to do with sensing her all the way down from the courtyard. No, Ruby seemed to be developing a surprisingly close-knit relationship with most of her instructors. Bart was a given—you didn’t fight side by side in the battles they had without developing some sort of camaraderie, no matter the age difference—and he knew all about her extra training with Glynda. Ozpin had been quite pleased to speak with her that night by the lake, though he hadn’t expected anything to come of it. Ruby’s arrival two days later, complete with shy glances and a rambled request to just ‘hang out’... that had been the surprise.

She’d kept returning too. He honestly wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Walking out into his office Ozpin set his mug and cane on his desk, watching as Ruby threw herself into the guest chair and a couple of candies tumbled out of her pocket. He’d have guessed she was only here for the free food if she didn’t bring so much of it herself.

“Gumdrop?” she asked and Ozpin smiled, shaking his head. Ruby popped the sweet into her mouth and went back to looking at the floor.

Hmm.

“Perhaps something more substantial?”

It was almost lunch after all. Just a few minutes after Ozpin had sent a request through his scroll Sandy came in with Beacon’s generic selection for guests: a variety of sandwiches, chips, fresh fruit, and tea. He smiled his thanks and when she was gone Ozpin supplemented the meal with his own addition, a plate of cookies from his personal kitchenette, baked just that morning.

“Sweets last,” he reminded Ruby and she guiltily snatched her hand back, turning instead to pick up a sandwich.

The effect was immediate though. Just having something to do with her hands seemed to relax Ruby and Ozpin felt better seeing the tension ease out of her shoulders. He’d realized over the course of her first year here that food was quite important to Ruby. Or rather, what food tended to represent: community, family, conversation, something warm and soothing to ease one’s soul after a long day of battle. Whether Ruby realized this or not, Ozpin was quite in agreement with her.

He selected the chicken salad for himself.

“Did something happen?” Ozpin asked softly, watching Ruby nibble at a strawberry. She shook her head.

“Was there something in particular you wanted to discuss with me?”

Another shake.

With a small sigh Ozpin set down his mug. “Then you must forgive my confusion. You are young, Ruby. Popular. It’s a gorgeous Friday afternoon and the weekend is waiting...” Ozpin gestured to the large windows behind him. Sun did indeed shine through, small rainbows hitting the desk and the sound of the student body rising up, slightly muted. They could both hear laughter though. “Surely you have better things to do than spend time with your boring headmaster.”

“You’re not boring!” Ruby cried and Ozpin very nearly laughed. Ah, what a world they were living in if he needed his personality defended by a child. Still, he inclined his head briefly in thanks.

“I simply mean,” he said, “that there are others out there who would enjoy your company.”

Ruby blew out a breath.

Her first visit after that night had just been for a brief ‘thank you’ between classes, shoving a new bag of caramels into Ozpin’s hands to make up for the ones she’d eaten. Then Ruby had stopped by for more leadership advice—though he’d gotten the distinct impression that her questions were just a screen for something else. When Ruby had stepped out of the elevator earlier this week, arms overflowing with budget files of all things, brightly exclaiming that she’d told Ms. Goodwitch that she’d bring them over for her and asking if she could stay for just a little bit... well, Ozpin admitted to a bit of worry.

And he hadn’t been lying a moment before. Despite past and power, Ozpin considered himself to be a singularly boring man. He ran his school. He read. He spouted morals that he’d been told grated adults’ nerves and put the students straight to sleep. The idea that vibrant Ms. Rose would actively seek him out for companionship—especially given other options—was quite the impossibility.

Which left only one explanation. She had a problem in need of solving.

The sooner Ozpin unraveled what that problem was, the sooner Ruby could go back to living her life.

He let her think over his comment and Ozpin was surprised to see Ruby giving it considerable thought, head bent as she continued alternating between sandwich and fruit. She’d devoured a considerable amount before finally looking up, teeth now gnawing her lower lip instead.

“It’s gonna sound weird,” she said quietly.

Ozpin leaned forward. “I quite like ‘weird.’”

That got a small smile out of her—as he’d hoped it would—and Ruby set her plate aside, drawing her legs up onto the chair and crossing them. She still had her cloak off and draped in her lap. She wrung it between her hands.

“Okay.” Ruby drew in a deep breath. “Have you been to Patch? Oh wait, I bet you’ve been everywhere huh? Well, um, then you probably know that it’s quiet there. Like super quite. Especially out in the woods. And yeah I got used to lots of people at Signal and then Yang told me to make more friends which I did but sometimes everything and everyone is so loud. Which sounds stupid, right? I’m loud. But I don’t always like being loud. And I think Weiss is kinda the same so I tried working in the library with her, but she just kept pointing out all of formulas I was getting wrong on Professor Peach’s homework.”

Ruby paused here, scowling adorably, but Ozpin kept his mouth shut. She was energetic alright and sometimes the best course action was no action at all. Let her talk it all out.

After another beat of silence she continued,

“So then I tried reading with Blake, but her phone kept going off the whole time and Yang just wants to hang with her other friends, and Ren and Pyrrha are great, they’re so great, but they’re also always with Jaune and Nora... So. Um. That’s not quiet, exactly. But then,” Ruby started bouncing slightly in her seat. “Then Professor Port gave me detention for sleeping in class—I swear I didn’t mean to!—but I organized papers with him and that was good.” Ruby stopped again, seemingly puzzled. “And I really liked the missions with Dr. Oobleck. Like the downtime we have. And Ms. Goodwitch sometimes let’s me sleep after our sparring sessions. And then with you out by the lake...” Ruby finally looked up. “It’s just... a better kind of quiet. I don’t know how to explain it. You guys just... get it.” She blinked, seemingly unable to articulate further.

Ozpin understood though. It didn’t surprise him in the least that Ruby was looking for a quiet place every once in a while. Every hunter and huntress needed those moments—no matter how normally hyperactive they were. He was, however, slightly taken aback by her choice. Impressed too. After all, it normally took many more years to discover that certain groups of fighters ‘got it’ more than others. Those who’d tested their skills in the wild. Who’d fought monsters with human faces. Those few and far between who understood that there was something larger at play. Ruby ‘got it.’ She always had. Now, it seemed, she sought others who understood it too.

Ozpin nodded slowly. “Would you like to know something, Ruby?”

“Mmm?”

“That’s called ‘maturity.’”

The expression Ruby pulled was both extreme and comical. “Pfff. What? No. Nobody’s ever called me mature before!”

Ozpin smiled. “No? Then they should pay closer attention...and perhaps think about why I let you jump ahead two years.”

Ruby titled her head. That was enough philosophy for one day though. Ozpin gently pushed the plate of cookies her way. “Come as often as you’d like. My door is always open.”

And just like that Ruby was her bubbly self again, snatching up a handful of treats and spraying crumbs as she thanked him again and again.

Ruby did calm though—picking up her homework, settling in—and when she did Ozpin caught the change: the newly relaxed posture, a more thoughtful expression, silver eyes glinting in the sunlight. He watched Ruby inconspicuously over his book and in that moment Ozpin realized something too.

His company was the solution.

Oh dear.

***

The next thing Ozpin realized was that his door was not, literally, open. Figuratively perhaps, but as Ruby had already discovered there were only two ways into the elevator that led up to his office: using the set of old-fashioned keys he kept on his belt, or through the electronic scroll code that only a few like Glynda and James possessed. Were she to ever have need of that space, Ruby would once again be forced to camp outside the doors, quite unbecomingly.

Walking leisurely across his campus, Ozpin considered the possibility that he shouldn't allow a child unlimited access to his workspace. Then again, he trusted Ruby... which was more than he could say for many adults.

"You’re out early," Glynda murmured, walking beside him. Ozpin acknowledged that with a nod and continued on towards the CCT Tower, half hoping that she would just leave him to his errand. No such luck. Glynda picked up her pace to match his, casting Ozpin a rather suspicious glance. He carefully kept his gaze on the path in front of him.

"A beautiful Saturday, isn't it?" he said.

Glynda scoffed. "Don't even try it. I saw the note in your calendar. Who's the access code for then? Surely not Qrow. Please don't tell me you've gone that soft on him."

Interesting. Ozpin believed he was rather hard on Qrow, all things considered; demanding more of him than any one man should ever have to give. Glynda was of the opinion that he kept Qrow out of his office to protect both his secrets and his liquor cabinet. Quite the opposite. Qrow worked harder than any of them and were he to visit—unless he was explicitly in Ozpin's company with a job to complete—there was no reason why he should be doing more. Let the man enjoy visiting his former institution in peace.

Better yet, let him enjoy spending time with his niece. Ozpin was coming to realize that there were many benefits to enrolling Ruby early. Far more than he'd counted on.

"No," he answered simply. "It's not for Qrow."

They continued off campus together, students and civilians alike casting them curious glances. Ozpin was used to it and he smiled or waved indulgently at anyone who returned the favor, stopping briefly once or twice to exchange pleasantries. The CCT Tower remained a monumental example of humanity's accomplishments—their strive for peace too—and Ozpin laid a hand on the wall fondly as they passed inside. Together he and Glynda entered the Information Technology department and were greeted by a smiling Atlas technician. Bright-eyed with her dog's tail wagging, she was very eager to help.

"I'm glad," Ozpin said, answering her declaration, "but I fear I've nothing particularly challenging for you today. I merely need to upload an access code to another CCT scroll."

"Of course, Headmaster." The woman took his own scroll, slotting it into her computer. A highly redacted version of Ozpin's user information popped up on the mainframe. "I just need to know the location and the ID number of the individual you want to add."

"It's the elevator leading to my private office--the information should all be there—though I'm afraid I've never had a good head for numbers."

Ozpin kept a benign smile fixed in place, even as he could feel Glynda's stare and a single, traitorous bead of sweat rolling down his back.

"Her name is Ruby Rose—" he got out and then Glynda's disbelieving shriek distracted them all.

***

'Completely irresponsible.'

'Inane decision making.'

'Utterly blatant favoritism that’s likely to get you fired some day...'

These were just a few of the accusations leveled at Ozpin as he and Glynda made their way back to campus. He bought himself a bit of a reprieve by shooting an email off to Ruby (a simplified explanation that she could now access his office whenever she chose), but eventually Ozpin had to look back up, and when he did Glynda's glare was fearsome.

Silver eyes were meant to denote true warrior spirits. He wondered idly what the old tales said about green eyes.

"I'd like an explanation for this," she insisted, finally grabbing hold of Ozpin's arm to halt him. Glynda sighed then, taking off her glasses to rub briefly at her eyes. She now looked more resigned than anything else. "I'm not stupid, Oz."

"Far from it," he murmured and Glynda shot him another glare.

"I know you've taken an... extensive interest in Ms. Rose, and I'll be the first to admit that you were right to allow her in here." At his look Glynda scowled. "Yes. She's flourishing, I won't deny it, and despite my frustration with your... lenient nature, I do trust you. You know I do. I just want to be sure you've really thought this one out." Glynda spread her arms. "Why risk it?"

In truth Ozpin hadn't thought things out, not really—which was quickly becoming a nasty habit of his where Ruby was concerned—but he ignored that little detail entirely, instead tilting his head as he regarded Glynda. Ozpin took a long sip of his drink before asking, "Risk what? Do you think Ms. Rose would betray me in some manner?" Ozpin smiled. "If she should even find anything of true importance in there." His office wasn't 'bare' by any means, though it certainly appeared that way to the untrained eye.

Glynda crossed her arms. "You know that's not what I mean, but mistakes happen. Anything might. She's only a kid, Oz, and you're giving her an awful lot of free reign. And for what? A little bit of comfort? So she feels special?"

"She is special." Ozpin took another sip. "They all are."

"That's not an answer."

"Perhaps not, but I think we're in agreement about one thing: there's nothing truly little about this situation." He laid a hand on Glynda's shoulder, ignoring her puzzled look. "It will be fine. Of all the things for you to worry about, this shouldn't be one of them."

Glynda sighed. "Perhaps not... but if something does go wrong you will not come running to me to fix it."

Ozpin chuckled. "When have I ever?"

"Constantly."

"Hmm," and he set off for the library, quick enough that he wouldn't have to consider that truth too closely.

***

In the end, it shocked him how quickly he and Ruby fell into a routine.

She didn't visit constantly as she had at the start and Ozpin could only assume that those initial, jittery invasions only felt like such because of Ruby's nerves, a sinking uncertainty about where they stood—or, as she'd so aptly put it, whether he'd think her 'weird' for requesting such a thing from her headmaster. It was admittedly a little odd at first, though when had he ever catered to expectations? Ozpin certainly had no desire to start now.

So at their core things were rather simple. Once or twice a week Ruby would escape the hectic life of a would-be huntress and creep up to his office to do work, read, or sometimes just to sit and look outside. Despite her hyperactive nature, Ruby was unfailing polite about her use of his space and more than once Ozpin looked up from reports and plans to find her still curled in the guest chair, having quite forgotten that she was there. It was after one of those moments—watching growing limbs hanging awkwardly over armrests—that Ozpin had a couch moved into his office, ignoring Glynda's looks the entire while. It was green and rather comfortable. A perfectly logical purchase.

Ruby thanked him for the new seat by gifting him with a throw. It was, of course, red and clashed somewhat atrociously with the couch's coloring... but where was the fun in safe aesthetics? Ozpin kept in draped on the back for her and was known to use it himself on occasion, long after hours when the nights were cool.

Ruby still brought endless sweets in her pockets and Ozpin still supplied lunch or dinner whenever the timing was right. Sometimes Ruby would pop her head in between classes, only to find him engaged with someone else and she'd scurry out, disrupting nothing and leaving only a few petals in her wake. On a few occasions Ozpin returned to find the smell of Ms. Schnee's perfume hanging in the air, or a few long blonde strands of hair on the couch, or a rather racy book left accidentally between the cushions (that had caused quite the embarrassment for Ms. Belladonna). Never once did he find the place unkempt after such occurrences and, truth be told, he was thrilled that Ruby felt comfortable enough to bring her team here.

Wonderful, to treasure such small things. What Ozpin valued most though were their conversations.

"He's fiiiiine," Ruby insisted, referring to one Mr. Arc and his seemingly endless difficulties with Mr. Winchester. She nibbled on the edge of her pen before adding, "I mean yeah, that jello thing at lunch was kinda mean, but he and Cardin aren't really fighting anymore. I think Cardin just does it for, like..."

"For appearances sake?"

"Yeah. That."

Interesting. Of course, very little went on in his school that Ozpin didn't know about, but it was still reassuring to hear that Mr. Winchester's antagonism was waning. There were more deserving targets for that boy's creative cruelty.

"Plus," Ruby said, "if he does get really mean again Nora will break his legs. Jaune might even break his legs someday. He and Pyrrha have been training. I think they think it's some big secret... but it's not."

Ozpin chuckled. "I see. And how goes your training with Ms. Goodwitch?"

In response Ruby gasped, scrambling to her feet, papers and books flying, and Ozpin was quite taken aback when she shoved her long sleeves up to show him a series of familiar, energy-blast patterned bruises.

"She's so strong," Ruby gushed. "And fast! I mean I'm fast, but Ms. Goodwitch..." Ruby shook her head. "I couldn't dodge this one and it went right through my Aura. I still haven't been able to heal it. I'm just so tired." She said 'tired' like another kid would say 'excited.' Ruby flopped back onto the couch with an ecstatic grin, kicking her legs up and letting out a laugh.

Ozpin regarded her carefully over his glasses. He actually knew that Glynda felt bad about that particular injury—she hadn't exaggerated the severity—but Ruby seemed to be taking it well. Still—

"You're free to visit the infirmary," he said. Ozpin's hand was already resting on a small pad of paper. "I'm happy to write you a note for your next class."

Ruby kicked up her legs again. "Nah. I kinda like it. Yang says it's badass."

"...I see."

There. That right there was the joy. Ozpin hadn't realized how removed his office was from everything else he'd strived to make his school into. It was sterile, drab, and the only things that occurred there were work or meetings, a pervasive sense of dread hanging in the air from worried students and equally anxious colleagues. Ozpin loved to stand at the window and watch the students go by, though he hadn't realized just separate he'd become, literally removed from them and (arrogantly) standing above. Ruby changed all that with simple worries and calm conversation. She brought a spot of color to the room.

And yes. Ozpin enjoyed the company. Was it really awful to appreciate someone who didn't need him only for his teachings or plans?

A soft ding sounded, alerting him that someone was on their way up. Ruby turned until she was laying across the couch. She got her head situated on the armrest right as Bart walked in.

"Hi, Dr. Oobleck!" she called, waving at him upside down. Within seconds Bart was by her side, fixing his glasses to get a better look.

"Hello, Ms. Rose. Capital day, isn't it? Why, you should be outside! Unless that's my essay I see you writing? Ah, good, good, I'd never deter you in that case. Although... you don't honestly think the surrounding walls are Atlas' greatest defense, do you?"

"Um..." Ruby slowly sat up, slid the notebook into her lap, and tore the sheet out, crumpling it into her pocket. "No?"

"Hmm. Indeed."

Ozpin covered his mouth briefly with his hand.

"Did you need something, Bart?" he asked pointedly and with a surprising amount of tack Ruby began packing up her things, giving them both a quick wave before zooming for the door. Bart nodded, waiting, though Ozpin called Ruby back just before she entered the elevator.

"Ms. Rose? Airships."

"Really," Bart huffed as the doors closed. "I'd kindly ask you not to help my students cheat on their homework."

"So telling her not to pursue an essay on walls isn't cheating?" Ozpin poured them both tea. "How enlightening."

"I merely steered her towards a more useful path."

"As have I. Is that not why we're here? To guide them?"

"I do sometimes wonder."

Bart, as always, was incapable of standing still. He took the tea gratefully and flit from one end of the room to the other, talking animatedly about the upcoming festival and how pleased he was to be chosen as an announcer. It was after they'd gone through two cups each that Bart suddenly stopped, head titled curiously at the elevator. He turned back to Ozpin.

"She's become much more studious," he commented, as if Ruby had left two minutes ago and not twenty.

Ozpin smiled over the rim of his cup. "I expect she has things worth studying for now. Perhaps even excellent history professors she wishes to impress."

"Hah," Bart sent a blinding grin Ozpin's way. "Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend."

***

Small, simple moments.

They were the kind Ozpin had learned to cherish over the years—pinpricks of hope to look back on. Experiences that, he hoped, defined him more than his mistake did.

Sadly, they never lasted.

The days grew shorter, then colder, and before Ozpin knew it winter was nearly upon them. Funny, that he who was tethered to time in such a manner would so often loose track of it. It was shocking to look up one morning and find the trees dead beneath his window, the landscape an icy color and all the students huddled for warmth. There was a chill in the air... though sadly it had little to do with the changing weather. Pieces were moving, pawns and queens beginning to step out of the shadows, and Ozpin could only hope that he was prepared for their next move. He'd grown tired lately, the kind of heavy, deep-seated tiredness that wasn't alleviated by sleep. Not that he was sleeping much as it was. There was too much to do and when his body did finally revolt, Ozpin found his sleep riddled with familiar nightmares. They were like old acquaintances, and he could do nothing but play the gracious host, offering them a seat whenever they designed to visit.

Tonight was one of those nights. He could feel it.

Ozpin rubbed at his forehead, barely suppressing a sigh.

"You okay?"

Ah, but there was some warmth. Ruby was in her usual spot on the couch, her throw and cloak piled up in her lap, a book and hot cocoa in easy reach. She had kept away the last few weeks, burdened by missions and exams, and it seemed to be a random choice that brought her to his door tonight. They hadn't done anything extraordinary, just their respective reading, but Ozpin had felt some of the tension seeping out of him as the night wore on, just through having someone sitting near. He knew that the rest of team RWBY was absent for the winter holidays: Ms. Schnee visiting her sister, Ms. Xiao Long off with a group of friends in the upper-class, and Ms. Belladonna figuratively absent, holed away in her own spot in the library. Perhaps Ruby was looking for companionship tonight too.

Or perhaps he was just an old fool.

"I'm fine," Ozpin said, though Ruby didn't look convinced. "Truly. My sleep has just been... restless lately."

Ruby nodded slowly. She gnawed at her bottom lip. "I used to have trouble sleeping," she admitted then. Quick, like ripping off a bandaid.

"Used to?" Ozpin teased, trying to lighten the mood, and Ruby obligingly stuck out her tongue.

"Okay yeah, sometimes I still get them—snakes are creepy, and Ren is mean, and he keeps retelling the story of the King Tajitus he fought during initiation--but not as much anymore. Not since coming here."

Ozpin moved back to the front of his desk, closing the distance between them. This happened occasionally. Little pockets of time where the world was still and truths were shared. They were rare. Ozpin handled this one like he would a piece of spun glass.

"What changed?" he asked softly.

"People," Ruby said. "I used to sneak into Dad's room when I was really little. Then Yang's. Then I came here and I didn't need to." She smiled, a soft little thing. "Weiss isn't the only one who wanted bunk beds as a kid. Nightmares are easy when you have people sleeping next to you. Do you have someone, Professor?"

It was asked with the upmost innocence and Ozpin didn't miss her little deduction about what kept him up at night. What could he do but answer her honestly?

"No," he said.

"Then sleep here."

There was a familiar bounce in her step as Ruby leapt off the couch, quickly sweeping her things onto the side table. She pulled the throw up like you would a duvet and shook it enticingly.

Ozpin cast her an amused look. "You cannot be serious."

"Yeah, I'm never serious." Ruby grinned.

"I don't make a habit of taking naps in front of my students."

"But you'll let us nap here. And bring us cookies. And give us your jacket if we're cold. Uh huh, Velvet told me about that. You take care of us all the time. I really don't see how it's any different, Sir."

Ah. Perhaps not.

The wisdom of a simple soul.

It was slightly surreal, walking forward with silver eyes watching his every move. Ruby was a perceptive girl though and she turned to give him some semblance of privacy, skipping over to his desk and muttering just loud enough about how she could sit in the big chair now. Ozpin chuckled, feeling just a touch of that awkwardness seep out of him. He toed off his shoes and laid down, suit and all. He could only imagine what he looked like: too tall and stiff as a board.

Ruby didn't say anything though. Ozpin kept his eyes fixed firmly on the ceiling, using logic to find some kind of peace. There was hardly anyone on campus right now. There was no one he was expecting. It was late, and even Salem's pawns had to take a night off. There was, in short, nothing to disturb him—and no one to judge.

No one but Ruby. And she—like her uncle, like her mother, her father, and her sister--was someone Ozpin trusted.

He was normally a man who understood time, controlled it, and catalogued its passing. Like the changing of seasons though, sometimes time passed even Ozpin by.

The next morning, he wouldn't recall when exactly his eyes slipped shut.

"Night, professor."

#RWBY #Ozpin #Ruby Rose #Glynda Goodwitch #Oobleck #RWBYfic

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7goodangel · 7 years

Photo

UT Fankids Week (kinda maybe? I mean the thing is that it had Sanscest in the tags...error ink is kinda sanscest so.... eh? I might be pulling a few strings here but even if these are not valid I hope to still do them!)

Day 1: First Words

Welp wanted to do something for this fun week! Even have a small story that goes along with it under the read more! ( well more of a ramble of a draft of how it could work but still! )

But man, this was fun to figure out what beginning PJ looked like. Heh man he looks like a MESS. Though no scarf or bag so yeah... he did just form o-o

I have no clue if PJ fits into the Fankids week thing but I like the prompts and hope to give more incite to how he’s like while growing up. (note the Ink and Error represented here are not canon however I tried to have them have more canon personalities and actions so *shrugs*. Just a warning cause yeah... technically there is no PJ but this is just how they are canon to his story o-o)

After walking on their own in the white, vast space - trying to keep themselves up with their barely formed body - they finally stumbled across what seemed to be a battle with one lying on the ground, parts of him scattered.

They couldn’t help but yell - what else can one do when they see a sight like that. Before the one on the ground could reassure he was fine, the glitched out being stomped over to them. Once seeing the oddly familiar blue strings coming from out of the ink, he stepped once more to them, having them fall onto his back.

“Y-you... you are a-a MISTAKE.”

“M...mistake?” They uttered back in fear. Is a mistake bad? Is that what they are called? Either way, lighter bits of ink couldn’t stop flowing from their eyes as they observed the glitched being storm off, cussing and mumbling under their breath before yelling to the torn up skeleton across the way, “D-DOn’t think this i-is over!!!”

“Well of course not - we kinda do this a lot. See ya later then!” He smiled, having a disjointed hand wave back to the glitched skeleton, who groaned before disappearing.

... Guess it was time to reassemble myself and figure out what’s spooking out the other being here, the skeleton thought to himself as he started to fill in the gaps of his bones with his own paint. He stood up, gathered his broom-brush, and almost jumped in front of the new character..

“Hey... how are you...?” He started to say before the ink blob screeched, “OK! OK yeah I understand. You thought I was dead... heck I wouldn’t blame you! Most would probably think that but hey! Got no soul so can’t get rid of me that easily, right?” He chuckled as he tapped his chest above the area a soul would be under. However that didn’t really stop the other from screaming.

“Hmmm...how to prove.. OH!” He thought of a way to prove it; he held out his hand and added, “Here! Touch this!”

The blob slowly stopped screaming and slowly moved their own hand to the others, lightly tapping it before backing away.

“Huh... left some ink behind there kiddo! Heh heh! Anyway, the name is Ink! The doofus that was over here earlier is Error. Really you don’t need to be afraid of him - he’s kinda a dork! Anyway, looks like you are new here, huh? OH! Does that mean you came from a new AU?!?”

“.....Au?”

“Ah... seems like you don’t know that... hmmm... well wherever you came from doesn’t matter - since whichever the creators up there doodled you knew what they were doing!” ... I hope... well, this one does seem incomplete... He thought after after saying that. “Um... where did you come from?”

The ink blob pointed to behind him, almost reaching their index finger into white vastness.

“Ah.. I see... well! Then it’s settled! Guess you are gonna room with me!” He grabbed the other’s arm and pulled them up, wrapping his arm around their shoulders, “Plus, I know my way around these parts! We can head back to the Doodle Sphere and I can show you some AUs!” He pulled away from the other and noticed all of the ink on him, “PFFhahahaha! Gosh better make sure I use a towel around you or I’ll be soaked to the bone!”

That only gave a confused look from the other.

“...tough crowd. Well, got a name?”

“...Mistake?”

“Nah nah...That’s like a way to describe something...I’m asking what are you called!”

“...M...Mistake...?”

“Pfff hahahahaha, gosh! Guess you are kinda clueless on stuff, aren’t cha?! Well if you don’t know I’ll just figure out a name to call you on the way back! Come on! Who knows what new is back at the Doodle Sphere!” He grabbed the other’s hands and started to pull them back to the area he came from. Well...whoever they are, they are certainly interesting...

#utfankidsweek2017 #if this doesn't work then I can just eliminate that tag...#7myart #paperjam #paper jam combo #error sans #I guess add that cause he's in the pic...kinda #and I guess...#ink sans #due to him appearing in the ramble I did #7triestowriteandfails #yep that's a good one too

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dmbakura · 7 years

Note

that meme is full of adorables, and i really wanna hear your theifshipping for it

thiefshipping is standard ofc

How did they they meet?: either in a back alley with bakura nearly getting run over by malik’s motorcycle, or near the aquarium and pier. either way, you kno its gonna be a good pairing

Who developed romantic feelings first?: they both did at around the same time but fuck if they’re gonna admit it to each other. they both have mad crushes in battle city, but then it develops more afterwards (following my hc they also meet after battle city). they both think its a fling. it’s very much not.

Who is their biggest “shipper?”: ryou, mostly because it means bakura is out of his hair

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?: getting really drunk pre-millennium world and just kinda messing around with their partnership. shit happens. it happens so fast theyre hardly even aware of it.

Who confessed their feelings first?: ha ha ha..... that would require them both not to be severely emotionally repressed. any sort of confessions come way later in their relationship, so likely post-canon.

What was their first official date?: does teaming up to try and destroy the pharaoh count? well probably sometime post-canon when they go for a ride on malik’s bike through the countryside to get away from civilization. they wouldnt call it a date but it totally is a date

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?: they don’t really like anyone else but i dont think they’d outright refuse either? though im not sure why anyone would want to go on a double date with these two. they’re horribly obnoxious and they’d definitely take the opportunity to mess with their tag along date

What do they do in their down time?: lounge around, enjoy each other’s company. they’re clingy assholes

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?: OK SO i know theyre parents are both dead and all so this would never happen but i have some rps to maybe give an idea. i have an rp where malik’s father returned via 4kids induced plothole (’everyone who got sent to the shadow realm by my other half will return’?). needless to say, it did not go well. malik’s father was already mad at malik, and knowing he was with bakura (bakura was cursing him the fuck out believe me) did not help at all. AND when malik’s father found out bakura was the THIEF KING on top of that he nearly fainted because his son, leader of the tombkeepers, was dating practically their sworn enemy. that rp did end on a good note though but im getting off topic.we also had an rp where malik and bakura used the quantum cube to jump into the afterlife and visit their mothers. this one was much more pleasant and also i cried. so honestly i think if they had the chance to meet their parents as a couple, it would go relatively well.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?: well ok they’ve had a lot of arguments and its hard to really pin down where there first one as a ‘couple’ was because that line blurs very easily with them. anyways, im just gonna say their first biggest argument was actually right before bakura went off to do the final rpg. malik had just found out bakura intended to unleash zorc and destroy the world and WTF MAN malik might not like atem but he doesnt want THAT. anyways it gets physical, with malik trying to convince him not to and bakura feeling a probably unjust sense of betrayal. its not a good time for anyone. (i have a scene like it in my fic here. shameless self promotion.) they only get past it post-canon, because bakura failed and he has no where else to go. i think malik would have always known that bakura would lose, given atem’s track record.

Which one is more easily made jealous?: they can both get pretty possessive of each other, mostly when others flirt with either of them (happens relatively often because theyre both very attractive). bakura might be more insecure about it because malik is truly the only person he has

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?: see wiki

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?: theyre both the cuddly ones. fuc k dude they love to spoon. bakura’s small and he fits so well under malik’s chin. also they like being in each other’s laps

Are they hand holders?: tsundere hand holders but yes

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?: pfff they’re sleeping together before theyre officially dating. i think the full thing happens sometime post canon with some messing around pre-millennium world

Who tops?: malik usually

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?: oooooohhhh so they’ve had some bad ones but the worst would have to do with malik’s patricide. malik’s very sensitive about the whole thing with his father and bakura is not always the smartest about backing off and doesnt really grasp the full depth of the abuse malik suffered. he can’t understand why malik doesnt hate his father, and he cant understand why he continuously shifts the blame off of his father.so one time he says something to the effect of “your other half did everyone a favour by killing that bastard” and needless to say, it doesnt go well. malik actually throws him out of the house for a while and bakura is glad to leave. it takes them over a week to cool down from that.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?: malik usually shops with bakura accompanying him sometimes. they usually cook for themselves since malik can’t eat meat and bakura loves meat, or they just order takeout.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?: malik

Who proposes?: assuming they’d even have a wedding to begin with, which they likely wouldnt but for the sake of this question im gonna say bakura. yes he stole the ring.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?: joined, though i guess it wouldnt be much of a party. neither of them really have any friends pffff

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?: rishid is the best man for malik and isis watches from the sidelines questioning everything in her life.

Big Ceremony or Small?: oh i think it would be expensive for sure. as for who actually shows up? rishid, isis, several tombkeeper officials have to show up (because their leader getting married is a big thing, though this is definitely not what they envisioned...). yugi and friends actually show up more out of complete bewilderment than anything. ryou shows up with a giant bottle of vodka. malik and bakura crash their own wedding and also pickpocket from nearly everyone there. it’s a really wild time, but they have a lot of fun

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?: they goin to france baby

Do they have children? How many?: no children. i love thiefdads but in my ‘main’ verse i dont really see them adopting kids at all. malik has too many insecurities associated with the matter. he’s afraid of being like his father and harming the kid. bakura is more impartial to the idea of children but at the same time he doesnt mind not having kids either.

#this got really long im sorry. you can tell where all my headcanons are #thiefshipping #long post /#aspidosecalis

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blaperile · 4 years

Text

Homestuck^2 - Reactions Chapter 8 “Distress Call From The Closet” (Pages 192 - 191)

CHAPTER 8. A Daughter Astray Oh man, sounds like this chapter might focus on Candy Rose and Candy Kanaya! I'm highly curious to see what they look like as adults. I wonder if we're going to see them in those battle outfits that were described during the Epilogue?

I absolutely wouldn't be surprised if Vrissy's prediction is spot on about their reaction to this news about Gamzee. Mix of being proud and so angry at her. xD

Page 192: NOPE, that's not Rose and Kanaya! Maybe we'll switch to their perspective a bit later, like how we switched a few perspectives in the last chapter? Pfff, Brain Ghost Dirk's still at it with his seductive poses. Page 193: Yikes, that's Roxy's home! So they've ALREADY figured out that Vriska and the others are hiding over there? That's fast. 0_0 Brain Ghost Dirk is having a field day with saying wildly distracting stuff again. Eesh, so Jane wants to take Vrissy hostage. If she succeeds in doing that, that's REALLY going to stir some moods with her former friends. Also with Harry Anderson, Tavros and Vriska. I wonder how Jane will plan on doing that. There's no way Vriska would just let that happen. Page 194: Oh man, look at this page!!! It reminds me instantly of those pages where the B2 Kids were on their Quest Crypts and talking, when we had two side-by-side panels and sometimes conversations right next to each other. Anyway, hahaha, leave it to Vriska to come up with new nicknames. Harry it is, from now on! That DOES make it easier to type, rather than saying Harry Anderson all the time. :P I love how Harry displays some traits of both John and Dave here. Geeking out and talking about something he likes to Vriska who knows and cares (or pretends to at least) absolutely jack shit, and otherwise trying to protect his "coolness" while totally freaking the fuck out, haha. The way he feels about Vriska being "real", it's pretty fascinating to see how similar it is to John's feelings (until recently at least) about everyone in this timeline, and how different he felt about Terezi. Harry's ringtone though, pffffff. I assume that's something from a musical? I had no idea what John's plan would involve, but I didn't expect he'd be calling Harry! I'm very curious what he's going to say... is he maybe going to ask Harry to hand the phone to Vriska? And then the other side of the conversation! Yikes, I didn't think Vrissy would be freaking out THIS much about Vriska. Hopefully she won't try to become more like her (in the bad way), just to make sure she measures up? I love how she just spontaneously started calling him Harry as well in this conversation. Page 195: THIS PAGE!!!!! OH MY GOD. VRISKA AND VRISSY BEING LITERAL TROLLS. JOHN SECURING THE DAD REFERENCE AND BEING JUST SO PROUD OF HARRY. I love the hell out of this page. John even caught the Weekend at Bernie's reference! It wasn't just abundantChewtoys who realized it here, hahaha. Er, John, I'm pretty sure you had at most just two Vriskas to keep track of. :P What John's saying about "your uncle jake and i"... does this mean he's talked to Jake recently after he started his espionage mission? Or is he PLANNING on talking to Jake right after this? Looks like John's going to try again to take Tavros away from Jane, just like he did all those years ago! Oh Harry, couldn't resist the prank at the end there. :P Page 196: For a second I was wondering if that was Karkat hiding behind the tree, but I guess it's probably Jane's secret police John was talking about. :O Oh man, we keep coming back to that bell tower! It's definitely a pretty crucial place, both in the Meat timeline and in the Candy timeline. The place where Meat Dirk shot Jade to take Calliope out, where Candy Dirk hung himself, where Aradia and Calliope gathered near the end... I'm VERY interested to see just how it looks visually! Also uh, goddammit, Dirk Strider memorial effigy. I should have seen that coming, hahaha. I love John's fatherly advice. He's doing a remarkably spectacular job, hahaha. I wonder what kind of distraction they're even going to make. Are they going to throw some ridiculous stuff out of the window or something? As a callback to John with his sylladex mishaps throwing a bunch of stuff out his window. :P By the way, I like that we're suddenly getting real commands up in here for the Candy timeline. Page 197: Oooh, Rose and Kanaya! :D That's an EPIC design for them... I love those jackets, and how it has their old symbols on them. And that narration... n'aww, I hadn't thought about it yet just how symbolic their love must be for the rebellion. That's really sweet. Ah yes... the next page is going to be a total mood whiplash isn't it? They're bending over, probably looking at a smartphone and seeing the news of their daughter. They're gonna flip the fuck out and I'm going to totally love it. xD I wonder if Karkat or John is going to call them? Page 198: Ahahaha, yes, that disappointed not a little bit. They're totally flipping the fuck out. xD I like how Kanaya has pink lipstick, and Rose looks totally like a business woman! It's such a different look for her, but it suits her well. Wait, they're not managing to contact Harry, even though John could. Maybe this is taking place a little bit later and Harry's already working on the plan to escape? Alfonz! A new character. I love how Homestuck^2 is casually throwing in some new characters for some minor roles, just to show how they're now part of a much bigger world with far more people in it than during the original Homestuck. Page 199: Wait, scouting party ? She? Oh no... is it Jade? Has she found Dave's dead body? God, what are they even going to think of THAT. Are they going to think that Jane had Dave killed? Holy shit, now THAT would escalate matters seriously. Page 200: Oh FUCK. IT REALLY IS JADE. Oh man, she's going to be angry as SHIT. Is it time to engage grimbark mode again? And uh... is she carrying Dave's body, or is her hair just different now? Page 201: Oh boy, here she comes.... Page 202: Wait... what? She's... not addressing Dave? Then I guess she hasn't... found him yet and believes he's... safe somewhere else? Did she get this mission to retrieve Vrissy while she was off at that other statue of liberty, and thought Dave was safe and would be continuing their mission at that statue? I swear to god, I really thought this was leading to Jade announcing Dave's death. Especially with the "we don't have any time" part, haha. Also, yikes, no, does that mean the escape from Roxy's home backfired? D: Or... is this part of the distraction? Is it a fake Vrissy (a doll??)? The panel reminds me of Horrorstuck by the way, with all those dramatic poses. Page 203: ... WHAT???? WHO THE FUCK IS YIFFY xD Is... is that Jade's nickname for Vrissy? Did Dave and Jade have a pet named Yiffy? Or... like abundantChewtoys is suggesting, did Dave and Jade adopt a child after all and named it Yiffy??? Holy fucking shit We're rolling from one mood whiplash into another, ahahahaha. Page 204: Ahahahahahahaha, Rose and Kanaya have NO idea either who the fuck is Yiffy. xD So whoever (whatever?) it is, looks like it's something relatively recent. I love the callback to that scene in the Dreambubbles where Kanaya was standing between Dave and Rose when Dream Dirk was there, and she was just looking at the both of them. Page 205: Pfff, looks like we'll be left hanging on just who the fuck Yiffy is for a little bit longer. Talk about a cliffhanger. xD But uh, "ROSE: Explain everything"? Does that mean Rose does know who Yiffy is, and it's just Kanaya who doesn't know? Anyway, yeah, looks like the Kids are still fine after all (for now), hahaha. Page 206: Yeah, that was to be expected. They're totally flipping the fuck out! Of course, what would you expect, they're totally not used to this kind of stuff! It's definitely going to be up to Vriska to come up with a solid plan. She's good at that, just look at how she came up with the plan for everyone to defeat the impossible enemies in the B2 session. Plus, if nothing else, she's got a lot of experience unlike the rest of them. And uh, eesh, things are kind of escalating between them all here. Hopefully by all working together on their escape here, they can grow towards each other a bit more again? Page 207: Oh man!!! Usually I'm totally shaking my head when Vriska's into one of her condescending rants, but this time I'm actually cheering, haha. Vriska is definitely exactly the person they need right now to get them all into shape, pronto, and get them out of here alive. I like how she's sort of defending John here. And she's referring to herself as a grown-up... despite being just as old as the rest of them, hahaha. Oh boy, Harry's gonna choose a weapon! :O Oh man, what is he gonna pick? I don't immediately remember something in his room that would fit as a weapon, so I'm curious to see what he'll come back with. I love how this is kind of like how John picked hammerkind on a whim and then stuck with it for the rest of time, probably going to be something similar with Harry now? ...Is he going for brushkind? I think there was a paint brush at that mirror? xD Page 208: HOLY SHIT. SUDDEN RETURN OF PESTERLOGS???? What the shit, I definitely didn't see that coming, after all the general texting they'd been doing so far! Oh man, I love it though. Their chumhandles!!! Harry's is TG like his mother, and OF COURSE Vrissy's AG, hahaha! Oh boy... is Harry gonna do what I think he's gonna do??? Is he going for needlekind, just like Rose??? :O Page 209: PSYCHE! It's gonna be scissorkind instead? :O ...Oh man, in before John makes an Edward Scissorhands joke at some point. xD Page 210: Finally addressing Harry with "you"! :D Page 211: Oh man, the return of that old Strife Specibus selection thingy! Wow, I'd totally forgotten about that. Now we're REALLY throwing back to Act 1, holy shit! Page 212: Yeah, it DOES feel like some really important shit is going to happen that this is all building up to. And oh my fucking god, so close to a "you have a feeling it's going to be a long day". SO close. xD Page 213: What the fuck Vriska? xD ... Wait, does that mean Vriska will be their distraction? That she heads out first, distracts everyone so they follow her, and then the rest of them exit? But maybe it won't be as succesful as she'd hope, and some Crocker Cops will remain behind that Vrissy, Harry and Tavros will have to fight? Strife incoming??? After all, if we're going for the full callback to early days of Homestuck, it's not complete without a strife! Or, like abundantChewtoys is saying, maybe they'll have to fight some drones! That would also be fitting, like how Roxy and Dirk had to fight drones. Page 215: HOLY FUCKING SHIT VRISKA Yeah... that's not particularly helping the rebellion. Jane could seriously use Vriska's statement against the Trolls, to argue that they're dangerous and need to be kept in check. It would be hilarious if we now see the reactions of everyone watching this news report. I think there'd be some SERIOUS mixed emotions out there, hahahaha. Page 217: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK THOSE CROSSHAIRS Is... is Jane going to have Vriska killed on the spot here???? Oh shit, I didn't see this coming. I mean, I'm not sure if this would qualify as either Heroic or Just...? But this is NOT GOOD. Page 218: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK VRISKA HOLY SHIT SHE'S GONNA DIE IT'S STRAIGHT THROUGH HER FUCKING NECK I'm... really conflicted here. Is it gonna stick??? The more I think about it, the less sure I'm of it. It could be described as somewhat Heroic, because she's standing up to Jane's regime and because she's basically creating a distraction for the Kids to escape... It could also be described as Just because of how she's basically bringing the entire Troll rebellion into danger with what she's saying? And on the other hand it could be neither because... it's fucking Vriska! Oh god oh man oh god....... Page 219: ....HOLY MOTHER OF A SHIT IT WENT THROUGH HER SHOULDER IT WASN'T THROUGH HER NECK OH FUCKING SNAP I didn't see that coming, I was convinced it went through her neck! Page 220: Wait, actual snap? xD Page 221: HOLY SHIT IT'S HER GOD TIER CLOTHES Now she DEFINITELY means business, holy shit! Page 222: HOLY SHIT DAAAAAAAAAAAAANG THAT WAS A WILD RIDE Vriska turned out to be exactly the kind of distraction they needed to get away. I didn't think Vriska herself would make it there with them, but she did! I mean, she went kinda overkill and it doesn't really improve the image of the Trolls, but she got them away anyway... That part about Jane though... a shadowy figure in her room, growling and chained? Is that Yiffy??? It does sound like it's SOME kind of dog. Page 223: There's the bell tower! With John inside! Heh... it looks surprisingly... bland? My mental image was that it would be a mix of gold and purple to reflect the Carapacian kingdoms, hehe. So, looks like John's alone for now. What's going to happen, will Karkat be headed over there with a ship? Page 224: Ha, John's wearing his God Tier outfit! Shows that he's REALLY meaning business now! Page 225: ...N'aww! Vriska's glad to see John again after everything that just happened. Page 226: That panel, ahahaha. I love how it's almost exactly the same sprite for John except for his fucking clothes being too small, hahahaha. Pffff, oh Vriska, always pulling the spotlight right to you. I love how John indulged her for a second, and then told her to go away so he could talk to Harry. Oh man, I'd LOVE to see Harry make a redesign for John's outfit! Maybe we'll see that next time we see them again! :O And John's being a perfect embarassing dad, oh my GOD Looks like everyone's about to gather here! With Rose, Kanaya and Jade on the way, and it's probably going to be only a matter of time before they meet up with Karkat and Meenah too? But then what? What are they planning next? Page 227: Here they come!!!! ...Okay, I thought they'd come by ship, not by actually flying over here, ahahaha Oh man, what are Rose and Kanaya's reactions going to be? Page 229: Pfff, yeah, in the Epilogue it almost seemed like that was the very last time John and Rose would see each other again, and now here they are, hahahaha. But still, it's kind of like Rose and Jade are hiding something... I'm suddenly reminded of how Jade discussed at some point about impregnating Rose with a child for her and Dave? Did... that actually happen? I'd think Kanaya would have known about that if that were the case... It's so heartwarming to see John, Rose and Jade together here... I'd just wish Dave could have been here too. :( Page 230: Ahahaha, oh Kanaya. Still rambling like her old self. And she's being surprisingly calm while tending to Vrissy, hahaha. Rose and Jade have GOT to explain what the fuck is going on now, with Yiffy. Page 231: WRONG CONCLUSION JOHN. WRONG CONCLUSION. xD In before Jade says "no, but rose was" I like the reference to that scene from [S] Descend with John and Jade's dream selves. Page 234: ... Wow. Holy. Shit. I... wow. I definitely didn't see that coming. So Jade and Rose DID have a child, and NOBODY knew about it, holy shit. I'm surprised that not even DAVE knew about it apparently, despite having been together with Jade for so many years... I'm incredibly relieved to see that Kanaya is not letting this get in between her relationship with Rose. After I started reading that, I was getting incredibly afraid. Fucking Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley. Oh. My. God. I... don't know what else to say about this. My mind is still trying to process it. I'll just say that I absolutely love Vriska and Vrissy's reactions to this. And holy fuck the Homestuck human family tree is getting REALLY complex up in here. xD Page 235:Ahahahahahaha, YES. I was wondering when John would finally ask that question. But uh, we're not going to hear the answer to that yet, 'cause this is the end of the chapter. I guess Jade probably thinks Dave's still safe and out there somewhere???Man, this was one HELL of a chapter. That was a shitload of stuff that just happened, and I'll need to take a while to have it all sink in.A Daughter Astray... turns out it wasn't just about Vrissy, but also about Yiffy.Holy. Shit.Now we've even got 4 Kids. Harry, Vrissy, Tavros and Yiffy.In before a new SBURB session in this timeline as well??? xD

#Homestuck #Homestuck^2 #reaction #Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde #Harry Egbert #Tavros Crocker #Vriska Serket #John Egbert #Jade Harley #Rose Lalonde #Yiffy Lalonde Harley

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 7 years

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Splataclysm! - chapter 3

Hey hey hey! Remember that ridiculously weird Splatoon AU that I was writing for some reason? Well I am far from finished with it, so here, have another chapter about the tomato turning his life into a trainwreck, with some bonus Julerose just cause :D

(AO3)

After several more lost battles, Nath finally persuaded Tikki to sell him a Charger weapon – in other words, a sniper rifle-style weapon. She gave him the Splat Charger, with Splat Bombs and Bomb Rush as its Sub and Special, and told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to practise with it if he wanted to be any good.

“Charger weapons are difficult to get the hang of,” she said. “Don’t think that just because you’ve got long range, it’ll be easy to pick off your opponents. It can be very frustrating to use a weapon like this. Especially in Turf Wars.”

“Yeah, but at least this way people won’t keep splatting me from a distance,” Nath pointed out.

“Only if you’re good enough. Keep your wits about you, and don’t forget to leave an escape trail of ink, and–”

“Fine, whatever, thanks.”

Nath quickly rushed off with his new weapon, not in the mood for hearing Tikki’s long-winded, grandmotherly advice. Even hanging out with Rose was better than this – though Rose seemed to tire out after just one match and wouldn’t participate anywhere near as much as Nath would have liked.

He went into the lobby in Inkopolis Tower alone and joined a team full of strangers. They were transported to Moray Towers, a battle stage full of narrow zigzags that was high above the ground, overlooking the city. It was absolutely perfect for Charger weapons.

“This is gonna be good,” Nath said to himself, grinning. He looked aside and noticed that one of his teammates, a huge, intimidating guy with a cut through one eyebrow, was glaring down at him.

“If the other team has an E-Litre, we’re done for,” the guy grumbled, his voice low and gruff. Nath checked the inbuilt computer system to see that this guy was called Ivan, and he was lugging around a giant weapon called a Heavy Splatling.

“It’s okay, I’m a sniper too,” Nath said, holding up his Splat Charger.

“Not good enough. If your Charger doesn’t have a scope on it, you won’t have enough range to do much good. Unless you have an E-Litre 3K, which you don’t. There’s a reason this place is nicknamed E-Litre Towers, you know.”

Nath frowned. Surely having a scope on a Charger didn’t make that much difference, did it? And what if someone attacked you while you were looking through the scope? Sure it would be easier to aim, but you wouldn’t even be able to see what was going on around you. It would just be distracting. Nah, a Splat Charger was probably way better than a Splatterscope.

He looked back at the computer system to see the opposing team assembling at their base…

Uh oh.

The Slaughter Squad.

“What did I tell you?” Ivan muttered. “Max ‘Unsplattable’ Kanté and his E-Litre 3K Scope are gonna make sure we lose.”

“Well… I have long range too…”

“So do I, but we’re no match for him.”

Pfff, how pessimistic! This Ivan guy sounded like a bore.

The signal played for the match to begin. Nath pressed the trigger on his weapon to see that only a drop of ink fell out. Oh wait – he was supposed to charge it up first, wasn’t he? That was how Charger weapons worked. He held his finger down on the trigger for a few seconds, waiting for the beeping sound telling him that it was fully charged, then he let go and watched as a beautiful green line of ink shot away into the distance.

Nice!

His teammates had already started inking along the narrow zigzag paths leading down to the central area of the battle stage, so Nath transformed into squid form and jumped ahead. He remembered there being a spot that overlooked the central area which would be perfect for sniping from.

Aha, there it was! He settled himself there and then had a look around. Someone from the other team – Alix, probably – had already used a big purple Inkstrike in the centre of the stage. Nath charged up a shot and started covering it back up in thin lines of his own team’s ink.

Thwack!

He was suddenly splatted by none other than Max, who had been aiming at him from the sniper perch on the other side.

Well, two could play at that game! Nath hurried straight back to his sniper perch after respawning, and aimed a shot at where he knew Max was hiding. Unfortunately he missed. It was kind of hard to see from such a distance. Maybe a scope wouldn’t have been such a bad idea after all?

Looking down at the trail of ink his shot had left, it looked like he hadn’t even been able to reach the other sniper perch from here. Ugh, what was the point of using a Splat Charger if its range wasn’t even that good? Nath was about to go back into squid form and swim into the central area so he could reach better, when he was splatted again by Max.

No! Now he really had to get that guy back. He swam back to his sniper perch, then jumped off that platform into the central area. Okay, so it was a bit exposed here, but the thing about Charger weapons was that you could see exactly where they were aiming. They always had a little laser beam of light pointing out of them while charging up. So if Max was aiming at him again, then he would just be able to move out of the way. Right?

He saw Max’s charger line pointing at the ground several metres in front of him. Okay then, he must have been aiming somewhere else. Good. No need to move.

Nath aimed back up at Max’s sniper perch, knowing that Splat Chargers charge up shots far quicker than E-Litres, so surely he would be able to get Max before Max could get him–

At the last second, Max suddenly swung his weapon up and pointed it straight at Nath, splatting him.

No way. No way!

Max had tricked him? By pretending to be aiming somewhere else? That was just cruel!

Absolutely seething, Nath respawned and jumped down the zigzag ramps as quick as he could. He just had to splat Max back. He didn’t care if Max was considered “Unsplattable”, he had to do it. That guy was too annoying. And if he was going to resort to dirty tricks, then so was Nath.

He jumped into the central area and pretended to be aiming a shot at the wall. Once it was charged, he turned his weapon and quickly aimed for the sniper perch instead.

And missed. Quite badly.

How had Max made it seem so easy? Sniping was hard! And how were you supposed to aim that fast, anyway?

Well, whatever. Time to try again. Of course, now Max would know his location from his bungled shot, so he dipped into squid form and swam off to the side a little.

Only to be splatted by a Seeker from Kim, who had reached this area and was rapidly inking everything in sight.

Oh yes, of course – this was a Turf War. Nath was supposed to be inking turf, not killing people. Time to focus on that for now. Max could wait.

Respawning back at the base, Nath this time ran down the zigzags the long way, looking for turf to ink. It seemed that the reason the central area had been oddly empty was because the opposing team had used one of the side towers to access this half of the map without needing to go through the centre, and a savage battle had been going on here without Nath even having noticed. There was plenty of turf here that needed re-inking.

Nath started shooting long columns of ink down the ramp. Huh, who said that Chargers weren’t good at inking turf? When it came to Moray Towers, these weapons totally excelled!

And there, at the opposite end of the ramp, was an enemy. Judging by the pink hair and being half the height of everyone else, it was Alix. And if she was on this narrow ramp too, then surely it would be easy to splat her!

Nath charged up a shot and took aim. She simply laughed and dodged the attack, inking more turf and running up the ramp. He aimed another shot.

“Missed again!” she said, a wickedly malicious grin on her face.

Nath tried to charge up another shot, but noticed alarmingly that she was already getting close enough to be able to shoot at him with her own weapon. He remembered his Sub and threw a Splat Bomb, but it fell off the narrow sides of the ramp and into the abyss below.

Yikes. Time to escape.

He went into squid form and turned around to swim away, only to see that he had forgotten to leave an escape trail of ink, like Tikki had told him to. Dang it, did that bug always have to be right about everything?

The worst thing was that even when he was inevitable splatted, it was not by Alix. It was by Max. Somehow that guy had jumped into the central area and got close enough to reach. Was he aiming for Nath on purpose?

By the time Nath respawned, Kim was within sight, running around and inking everything. Ivan was standing far back and throwing out a barrage of shots with his Heavy Splatling, but Kim cheekily sending Seeker after Seeker forced him to keep moving and not have enough time to shoot consistently.

Wait. Nath could reach Kim from here, right? He began charging up a shot. Kim spotted the laser line and went into squid form, hiding away somewhere. He emerged rather far off and began shooting again, and Nath had to recharge his shot from scratch.

But if Kim had been swimming around in squid form, why hadn’t Nath been able to see him? Usually it was possible to at least see ripples in the ink when someone was swimming. Unless… it was an ability…

Rose had explained that to him once, though not very well. Something about certain clothing, or “gear” as it was called here, could give you particular powers, called “abilities”. Some made it that you could refill your ink tank faster, some gave you better defence stats, some gave you better attack…

And some made it impossible for people to see you while you were swimming in ink.

Kim had that, surely. He must have had that. And how useful would that be? Nath decided then and there that he needed new gear. He didn’t look fresh enough yet anyway.

The rest of the match was just as unpleasant. Nath resorted to standing on the home base and trying to ink turf from there, though Charger weapons were really not good at that. It just took so long to charge up, and only released such a thin line of ink! How the heck was anyone supposed to play decently with these?

The match results were not a surprise.

“The purple team wins, as if anyone was surprised by that,” the judging cat – some guy called “Plagg”, apparently – said at the end of the match, waving a flag at the opponents. “Anyway, don’t stay here too long. Next match begins in five minutes.” He vanished again.

Nath was half tempted to throw his Splat Charger on the ground and kick it. How was he not good at this weapon either? Nothing had felt right so far! Surely there must be something out there for him?

“…and I didn’t get splatted at all this match, so take that!”

“Yeah, but how many people did you splat? And how many people did I splat? I’m just better and you know it.”

“Well I inked more turf!”

“If you had used an Aerospray MG too then you’d have inked less than me!”

“Are we really doing this again? I already told you, I’m better at inking turf, and you’re better at splatting, so just stop rubbing it in all the time…”

It was Alix and Kim, arguing again. Their voices faded as they wandered off into the distance, although Nath could see Kim pushing Alix so hard she almost fell off the side of the ramp.

Nath was just about to leave when he saw that Max was watching him. Well, maybe. He couldn’t quite tell. Max always wore big black sunglasses that made it impossible to see where he was really looking. But he seemed to be looking right at Nath, almost like he was… calculating something.

It gave him a sudden funny fluttering feeling in his chest. He looked away quickly, pretending to be fiddling with his Splat Charger. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Max finally go somewhere else and Super Jump away.

Phew… Nath wasn’t sure why Max made him feel so weird. Was this a rivalry thing? Did they have a rivalry now? Maybe that was a good thing. A lot of fresh inklings seemed to have rivals – like Alya and Chloé.

Fresh! Of course! He was meant to go buy some new gear!

He Super Jumped back to Inkopolis Plaza, landing right in a crowd of inklings. There was one just in front of him, turned the other way, wearing what had to be the coolest beret he had ever seen. It was so fresh! He just knew something like that would suit him very well. He needed to buy it.

Cooler Heads – that was the shop where everyone bought head gear, right? He pushed aside a bunch of squids and rushed in.

Nath had never met the little anemone girl who ran the shop, but he had seen her through the windows. She had bright, colourful hair that spiralled out in every direction. He doubted that any of the hats she sold would even fit over that.

“Hello, welcome to Cooler Heads,” she said to him. “I’m Mylène. What would you like to buy?”

“I’m looking for a beret,” he said.

“We’re sold out of berets, sorry about that. There was only limited stock.”

“When will they be back in stock?”

“Um, I’m not sure. Sorry.”

What? No! There was no way he was giving up that beret for anything!

The door of the shop opened and in walked Ivan, grumpy as ever. As soon as he saw Mylène his face lit up into such a bright smile he looked almost unrecognizable.

“Mylène!”

“Ivan!”

Mylène ran over and jumped up to hug him. She was so small that her feet were left dangling off the ground.

“Ivan, what are you doing here? I thought you said you were doing Turf Wars all afternoon!”

“I was, until it turned out the Slaughter Squad had the same idea.”

“Aww, Ivan!” Mylène gave him a kiss on the cheek. “That’s perfectly understandable. If I were an inkling and if I did battles, I would hate being against them too!”

“Can I just stay with you this afternoon instead, dear?”

“Of course, sweetie!”

Dear? Sweetie? Nath did a double take. Surely this cute little anemone girl was not dating some weird, grumpy giant like Ivan??? But the way those two were snuggling up together, being more sickeningly sweet than Rose’s entire personality…

It was unfair. How was it that a guy like Ivan could get a girlfriend? He wasn’t fresh in the slightest!

Unless… simply having a girlfriend was enough to make him fresher?

Yes, that was it. Nath got it. If he wanted to be fresher, he needed a girlfriend. And more importantly, he needed that beret.

“Bye,” he said flatly, leaving the shop without those two lovebirds even noticing.

Now, where was that beret squid? Maybe if he asked them, they would sell it to him? No, no, he couldn’t talk to a squid as fresh as that, and no one would ever part with a beret that magnificent… Maybe he could ask someone if they knew where else to buy it from? Perhaps…

Getting completely lost, he stumbled into what seemed to be some dodgy back alley. He got the distinct feeling that he was not supposed to be here. But what if the beret squid was around here? He’d better keep looking.

“Psst.”

Huh? Where did that voice come from?

“Hey. Over here.”

He turned around to see a sea urchin slumped against the wall. She had a mass of black and purple spiky hair, sticking out all over the place, even covering all of one eye like Nath’s hair did. She was beckoning him over with a long, pointy finger.

Should he go? This seemed like the ideal place to get murdered. But then again, he had been losing so many battles lately, it wasn’t like he had anything to lose. He made his way over to the sea urchin and hoped she wasn’t about to stab him.

“Hey. You look like you could use some help.”

“Oh, um, it’s no big deal,” he muttered.

“Alright then, newbie.”

Wait, she could tell that he was a newbie? No, that was bad! Surely with that beret he wouldn’t look like a newbie! “Okay, I just saw an inkling with a really cool beret and I want it but the shop doesn’t have it,” he said.

“Then you’ve come to the right place,” the sea urchin said. “My name’s Juleka. If you ever need any gear that the shop doesn’t have, I can always get it for you. Through definitely legal means, of course. For a price.”

A price? What kind of price? He wasn’t going to sell his kidneys for a beret. And definitely legal means? That sounded like a lie.

But he wanted that beret. He wanted it so much. And what would this Juleka think of him if he had the beret? Not a newbie anymore, but an actual fresh squid!

“Alright, what’s the price?”

“A Super Sea Snail.”

“A what?”

“Super Sea Snail. You can win them by competing in Splatfests.”

Splatfests? He had heard of those. Everyone picked one of two teams based on choices between random things, eg food vs water, and then would have battles to prove which team was better. The Squid Sisters ran the festivals. But there wasn’t one scheduled for like, a whole week or something! He couldn’t wait that long!

“Can’t I pay something else?”

“Hmm. 30000 coins.”

“I don’t have that much money!”

“Well then sorry, but you’re not getting your beret.”

Nath kicked the wall. “No no no no no no! Ugh, if only I had won more battles, I might have had enough money! Why won’t Rose just help me? Maybe she would lend me money? I don’t know…”

“Wait. You know Rose? Rose Lavillant?”

“Yeah, why?”

The part of Juleka’s face not obscured by her hair had gone red. “Do you… um… think you could get her number for me? I’ll give you the beret for free if you do that.”

“Why do you want her number?”

Juleka looked at the ground, fiddling with her bangles. “She’s… um… awesome. And I don’t have the guts to tell her in person.”

“You want to ask her out by phone?”

“By text.” Juleka mumbled some more stuff about Rose, too quiet to hear.

“Fine,” Nath said. “I’ll get you her number, and you get me that beret.”

She smiled up at him, and he noticed with alarm that the one eye he could see was bright red. Holy moly… what chance did someone like that have with an angel-type like Rose? Well whatever, that was none of his business. He walked off back towards the less dodgy parts of town.

#all of this is the weirdest thing i have written (which is saying something considering heely beloved exists...)#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #nathaniel kurtzberg #uh who else is in this again?#ivan bruel #mylene haprele #tikki #max kante #le chien kim #alix kubdel #juleka couffaine #splatoon #random stuff #splataclysm #the rarepairs get much rarer later it's gonna be awesome #aish writes

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blaperile · 4 years

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Homestuck^2 - Reactions Chapter 7 “Distress Call From The Closet” (Pages 170 - 191)

Chapter 7: "Distress Call From The Closet"

abundantChewtoys is probably right that this is referring to the closet Vriska, Vrissy and Tavros are currently hiding in!

The question is, who will they be calling?

At first I'd think Harry Anderson, but if Jane's sending her troops over there they might need more back-up then that. Will Vrissy call upon her mothers and/or the rest of the resistance to get them out of there?

Oh man, I really hope they're all gonna join the resistance.

Page 170:

Yup, that's indeed the scene we're headed back to!

Page 171:

Pffahaha, yup, Harry Anderson definitely didn't see this coming.

I love how they also have Instagram on Earth C... At least they didn't name it Vriskagram here. Though that would have been hilarious. :P

Let's see what Harry Anderson can think of... is he going to call John??

Page 172:

Pffff, yeah I can imagine Rose and Kanaya would be very angry about what they did on one hand, and on the other hand probably be happy that Gamzee is out of the picture.

Oh wow, we're going to Roxy's home! Looks like we'll be seeing some of Roxy and John's stuff then! :O

It's interesting how we're explicitly avoiding seeing any of the adults here on Candy Earth, with the exception of Jane and Jake. I wonder if it's going to remain this way, that we won't see any of the others?

Page 173:

Wait what? They had Gamzee's body with him?

I thought they'd dropped him in the hallway when the sprinklers went off?

So uh... are they just going to leave him here then? I wonder what will happen to his body in that case. Is Jane going to retrieve and revive him?

Page 174:

Pfffff, oh Vriska.

Don't tell me we're gonna see the door close now, and then get a sign he's still alive after all?

After all, if there's one thing we've learned, don't turn your back on the body!

Page 175:

OH MAN, MEENAH AND KARKAT! :O

I love how my theory I just wrote a couple of pages ago, about explicitly avoiding seeing any of the adults around (except for Jane and Jake) was immediately shot.

So, just goes to show that it IS possible we'll still be seeing both Meat AND Candy versions of particular characters (other than Dave)! Seeing as we've first had Meat Karkat, and now Candy Karkat.

Pfff, yeah, that description does sound like a pamphlet would phrase it. Especially considering Karkat didn't like being called Commander, like he told Swifer. :P

For a second I thought Meenah had a golf club, until I realized it's her hair. xD

Oh yeah, I wonder what they're gonna look like!!! All those descriptions of Karkat have been pretty badass, with his eyepatch and all. And I just wonder what an older and alive Meenah would look like. Does she look somewhat like The Condesce now?

Page 176:

Yeah, I can understand they wouldn't let Karkat participate in the most dangerous operations. It happens all of the time despite his wishes, haha. Just think of when Kanaya made him sleep on LOFAF so he wouldn't risk his life in battle.

Pfff, so Swifer is also still around! And near them, not just tending to the Mother Grub in their hideout then.

It was to be expected that Karkat wouldn't mind Gamzee being dead. Karkat suffered enough from that douchebag.

I love how anticlimatic Meenah is reacting to the news of Vriska being here.

The question is, are they now going to head over to retrieve these people and secure them within the rebellion?

Page 177:

Oh wow!!! The response to Gamzee's death is way different than I would have thought. I'd thought it would make people more angry at Karkat, but no, they're getting angry at Jane! That's a positive side-effect I had not expected.

But yeah, like Karkat is saying, better be careful that Jane doesn't use it to her own advantage either.

I like how all those people are using that ICP clown symbol.

Page 178:

OH SHIT! :O

KARKAT IS GOING TO CONTACT JOHN??? Is John finally going to appear in Homestuck^2??? I'd really started fearing he'd NEVER show up!

...And watch this be a psyche and Karkat contacts Harry Anderson instead, seeing as it's also an Egbert. xD

Ooooh, look at that eyepatch. I love it, and we haven't even seen the rest of Karkat yet. I like how they're teasding their appearances but not showing them just yet.

Page 179:

!!!!

Look at that house! I really love the design. The slick white design reminds me a bit of Rose and Roxy's old homes.

And it's even located near the coast! Maybe Roxy wanted that, because she grew up in the middle of the ocean?

OH BOY JOHN'S CAR. JOHN IS HOME. ARE WE GONNA SEE JOHN NOW???? :O

I wonder if he's still got that moustache that the Epilogues referred to.

The question is, will John already have received the call from Karkat by now?

And what kind of car did Harry Anderson provide his friends? A clown car? :P

Page 180:

OH SHIT!!! So that part of the Candy Epilogue was taking place NOW! :O

That perfectly explains why John hadn't showed up yet until now. Oh hell yes! :D

Just look at them... John and Roxy definitely look like themselves, except older of course.

Welp, too bad John already shaved that moustache apparently. Oh well, at least we got to see Jake's moustache. :P

So yeah, what we saw at the end of that Epilogue conversation was that John and Harry Anderson would be going for a ride. Is John going to receive that call from Karkat during that ride?

I like that they didn't forget to draw those glasses of water that Roxy explicitly retrieved from the kitchen at some point during that conversation.

Page 181:

Oh wow, I didn't think they'd be arriving so soon! Too bad we didn't get to see the car they came with, haha.

Oh Harry Anderson. You sure got your priorities straight. He really is John's son. The TRUE pranking master. xD

Page 182:

Oooh, look at Roxy. Her outfit reminds me of Rose's Mom!

I like that she does look happy, after all that just happened between her and John.

It's probably not going to happen, but it would be so hilarious if she notices that they're hiding behind the bushes.

Page 183:

Pfff, oh Tavros. Feeling a bit jealous here.

I wonder what Harry Anderson's room will look like! Will it resemble John and Roxy's old rooms a bit, or will it be something else entirely?

Page 184:

Hey look, a command! The first time here in the Candy chapters. Of course it's a totally nonsensical one. :P

That... wow, that's DEFINITELY something else entirely than John and Roxy's old rooms.

Is... is that a Pokémon poster??? :O

Don't mind me, just fanboying here as a big Pokémon fan, but now I'm very curious to hear about Harry Anderson's interest in Pokémon. xD

Ahahaha, I love how the narration is like a classic Homestuck introduction! Despite missing its kid. :P

So, he likes musicals and sewing clothing! That's definitely something else than his parents! That's pretty fascinating, I kinda hope we'll hear more of those interests later.

And goddammit, if for some reason we ever have a musical flash, HARRY ANDERSON MUST SING IN IT.

Does... does this mean Pokémon is a musical here? :O

Page 185:

Sprite Mode! :D

Vrissy's Sprite Mode reminds me a bit of Aranea.

Page 186:

Pffffff, that's NOT the reaction I expected Vrissy to have to this. I thought she would be weirded out, but nope, she's loving it. xD

Also, I love how Vriska's casually trying out Harry Anderson's stuff. Is she gonna settle on one of them and take it with her?

Page 187:

Oh man, Vriska's going to settle on this one, right? It's Terezi's colour after all. That would be pretty sweet.

And Vrissy's sure having some doubts. I mean, Vriska didn't want Vrissy to become more like her, but it seems Vrissy doesn't know what SHE wants.

It'll be interesting to see what path she takes.

Page 188:

There he is! I assume John just dropped Harry Anderson off and left then? And Roxy's presumably still at the store.

But yeah, what ARE they going to do now? Is Harry Anderson going to run away from home with them all, and will they all join the rebellion?

Or are we going to see John as he receives Karkat's call?

Page 189:

Wow... look at John. I love the way he's animated here.

But uh, abundantChewtoys has got a fair point. How is he receiving a call on his phone... when Vriska swiped his phone earlier?

Let's say that indeed he had two phones on him, like a sensible person. :P

Let's say that when Terezi left to go back to the Furthest Ring, John kept using that phone to keep in touch with Terezi and eventually switched to another phone for the rest of his business and that it's just that first phone he's now lost.

Ahahahaha, this interaction with Karkat. John's completely clueless. I wonder what his reaction is going to be!

I mean, he won't mind Gamzee being dead, but what will he think about the rest of it?

Page 190:

OH MY GOD. JOHN. XD

He's finding this WAY too funny. Ahahaha, I guess he's probably also compensating a bit for all those negative emotions he'd been feeling up to this point.

John and his facial expressions. NEVER GETS OLD.

Page 191:

MOOD WHIPLASH AHOY.

Oh god... John's got a plan??? Oh man, what's he gonna do?

Uptil now, he refused to involve himself in the rebellion because he felt he didn't care enough about what was happening, but maybe now after his talk with Roxy he's finally got everything he needs to side with the rebellion?

I can't WAIT to see what John's got in store.

I'm so PUMPED for this. I'm so relieved that he's actually still going to be relevant in this story, I'd actually become afraid he wouldn't appear or only barely.

Things are definitely kicking into gear in this timeline!

#Homestuck #Homestuck^2 #reaction #Harry Anderson Egbert #Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde #Tavros Crocker #Karkat Vantas #Meenah Peixes #John Egbert #Roxy Lalonde

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