#this is gonna open a whole can of worms

[corfisers]

i'm never getting over the fact that nanahara somehow got a better understanding of everything while running purely on his assumptions and people who actually know more either don't care enough or just aren't able to put two and two together

#by people i mean kageyama misumi and doumeki #kageyama's view of yashiro is a whole other can of worms i'm not gonna be opening right now #misumi is misumi. fuck misumi. #and then doumeki... i feel bad because he clearly struggles with understanding people in general and yashiro is not making it any easier #but he was told about the abuse directly. and he has aoi. he's seen enough. he should know better #second arc doumeki is especially frustrating because this conversation happened and he seemed to understand something #but there's so much damage done already and so much anger and pain that it barely matters #stuck misunderstanding and hurting each other over and over and over and over and over #but also this is what i mean when i say that nanahara has a pretty good understanding of yashiro #he's not focused on his own feelings and just... cares a lot and sees him as he is #saezuru tag

[youremyonlyhope]

In Defense of Tolya/Inej

(A long rambling essay exploring asexuality, "shipping wars," and the effect that constant cancellations has had on fandom. 4600 words. I'm not even sorry that it's long. There's a tldr at the end.)

Let's start this off by saying I am asexual. Or demisexual... greysexual... aceflux... the point is I am on the asexual spectrum. I don't know where precisely. I don't personally think it really matters for me to specifically define it. I am somewhere over there. I also consider myself to be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum (for that one I'm 90% sure I lean toward greyromantic).

All of this is to say: asexuality and aromanticism are both spectrums. They are umbrella terms. There are subgroups within them to help describe the range of the spectrum, but if people want to just use asexual or aromantic to describe themselves then they can. Where I fall is different from where someone else falls, and that's different from where another person falls, and that's probably different from the person reading this if you are ace and/or aro too. And it's different for Tolya. There isn't one aroace experience and there isn't one type of aroace representation.

A little more about me. I am also mixed race. More specifically Black and white like Jesper, but mixed people of all races know the shared experiences of feeling like we're between two worlds. It's not as obvious in the show (I can't remember if it's even mentioned but I can see that some fans don't seem to know), but in in the books Tamar and Tolya are half-Shu and half-Ravkan. Also, I am a twin. I am a girl with a boy twin. My twin brother is a foot taller than me. So, Tamar and Tolya's existence in the Grishaverse speak to MY SOUL. Tamar, Tolya, and Jesper make me feel like so many parts of myself are represented on these pages.

Moving on from my background. Just another reminder that ace is a spectrum. Aro is a spectrum. Life. Is. A. Spectrum.

Onto the actual topic: Tolya. In the books, Tolya doesn't have any love interests. He also notably says "I have my faith, my books. I've never wanted more," in Rule of Wolves. This leads many fans to headcanon him as ace, aro, or aroace. I headcanon him as aroace too. I loved that one almost throwaway line and it made me feel even more connected to Tolya. I recently reread the Shadow and Bone trilogy and it renewed my love for Tolya. The perfect casting of Lewis Tan also reignited my excitement for seeing this character that I adore appear onscreen.

It seems, from the scene of Tolya helping Inej onto the boat, that the show will explore the possibility of Tolya and Inej being together. THIS IS OK. This is ok specifically because THE STORY IS NOT OVER.

I find that when I am worried about something, going over worst case scenarios and best case scenarios can help me calm down. Let's list a few possibilities of where this will lead:

Tolya and Inej fall in love. Inej forgets Kaz exists. Tolya's possible aroace-ness is never acknowledged. They spend all their time kissing and having sex, never again hunting slavers or reciting poetry ever. If Inej and Kaz meet again, she'll break his heart because they'll never get together. Kaz dies alone. Tolya and Inej then have 20 kids.

Tolya develops (or has already developed) a crush on Inej. It's understandable, she helped save his life and they fought well together against Ohval. Tolya is a very outwardly affectionate person: he's open about his feelings (hence the constant poetry recitation), he loves to care for the people around him (sharing food with multiple characters, helping Jesper with Wylan), he values his blade (his hallucination nightmare is Tamar dying on his blade, he doesn't notice people ducking out of the way of his handle), and he is incredibly spiritual (praying in Shu-Han, but many more examples in the books, the show has barely touched the surface of his spirituality). He is nearly the polar opposite of Kaz, and Inej has said that Kaz cannot give her what she wants, so that probably draws Inej towards Tolya. They get closer after spending time at sea, and they start a relationship. They stay together through the end of the show. Kaz either stays alone or finds someone else. Tolya's aroace-ness is never acknowledged.

Everything from #2, except they don't stay together through the end of the show. Inej realizes that despite Tolya being able to give her what she thinks Kaz can't, she still wants Kaz. And Kaz, now having been away from Inej for a period of time and possibly working through some of his touch aversion and other anxieties, wants to try to meet Inej somewhere in the middle after knowing with it's like to almost lose her to someone else. She accepts Kaz, leaves Tolya, and Tolya is fine with it (because I can't imagine Tolya ever holding a grudge for that). Tolya's aroace-ness isn't never acknowledged, but is probably somewhat implied (something along the lines of telling Inej the "faith and books" line to reassure her).

Everything from #2, but this time Tolya is the one who realizes that this might not be what he wants. Maybe he realizes that he has romantic feelings for Inej but not sexual. Maybe he realizes that he has sexual feelings for Inej but not romantic. Maybe he realizes his feelings for Inej are purely platonic and the intensity comes from his gratitude for saving him. Or maybe the intensity comes from them connecting through their spirituality. This could either lead to Inej feeling sad and rejected and turning to Kaz for some comfort, OR she just agrees that the feelings aren't the same as what she had for Kaz. Kaz has now worked through some of his trauma. So they end the relationship, Toya is happy with his faith and books, and Inej reconnects with Kaz romantically.

The look that Tolya gave Inej wasn't from some sort of romantic interest, but instead intrigue at the chance of getting to know her better. They become best friends with their bond starting from their mutual love for blades and their spirituality. They become the blade fighting duo we never knew we needed. The show never mentions his sexuality, he just stays single.

Same as #5, but they also Tolya say the "faith and books" line and confirm he's aroace.

The show sees the negative response from some fans and does a complete 180, never addressing the possibility Tolya and Inej again. I do not want this to happen. Not because I like Tolnej, but because I hate that fan response and pandering has become a thing in the current age of social media and letting fans influence media. It completely ruined the Rise of Skywalker. I fully believe it's influenced RTD's Doctor Who (I can go more in depth on that another time). Looking at these examples, I would rather the Shadow and Bone writers continue with whatever storyline they already have planned rather than shift to appease some of the fans, even if that planned storyline isn't something I will like. People need to remember that the fans who care enough to speak on social media, both positively and negatively, only make up a small percentage compared to the entire viewership. So I definitely do not want them to take fan response into account when planning the show. Leigh is an executive producer, so I trust she wouldn't let them explore something with her characters and her world that she wouldn't mind seeing herself.

Kaz, in my headcanon, also falls somewhere on the asexual spectrum. Whether it's because of his touch aversion or if that's just a part of it, I do think he's somewhat asexual. While most of us are ace just because we're ace, there are some people who are ace due to past trauma and I've imagined Kaz falls in that category. To me, subtly in the books but definitely in the show, Inej desires a sexual relationship and she's well aware that Kaz doesn't want that. Her hallucination, which I see so many Kanej fans gif'ing and fangiring over, would never happen at this point in Kaz's life. Inej realizes it in the moment, and that's how she knows it isn't real. Tolya is literally using his Heartrender abilities to try to slow down the effects of the poison before succumbing to the horror of his hallucination, but it's Inej who snaps out of her hallucination first BECAUSE she knows what she's seeing is not possible. It's different from Jesper, who knows his hallucination isn't real since his mom is gone and yet still wants to stay in it, because Inej knows this could theoretically happen, but also knows that Kaz would never let it happen. She doesn't even let herself enjoy the hallucination the way Jesper did because it's something she doesn't think she can ever have with Kaz. There is a very real possibility that the show could ultimately decide (after some combination of the earlier scenarios in my list) that Tolnej doesn't work/doesn't happen AND then that Inej and Kaz will never have any sort of relationship either. They could all end up single or with other characters. Even at the end of Crooked Kingdom, the Kanej relationship is still somewhat ambiguous. They hold hands, she says she's not ready to give up on him, and he helped find her family, but they aren't explicitly in love. I wouldn't be surprised if the show goes the book route and leaves Kanej ambiguous yet hopeful at the end.

BONUS! Just because I think it'd be fun. Make Tolya canonically aromantic and just care deeply and platonically for Inej, but maybe he can still fulfill Inej's desire for a sexual relationship since he can be demi or greysexual or even asexual with a libido. Kaz may never fully stop being touch averse, which is perfectly fine, and he and Inej connect romantically with a fulfilling life of love. And then Kaz and Tolya get to bond deeply platonically over their mutual love for life's beauty (poetry and Inej). Make them some sort of triad that mixes and fulfills everyone's romantic, sexual, and platonic needs. It's a win-win-win for all three. It doesn't have to be a love triangle, Inej has two hands. Do I expect the show to go in this direction? No. Would I love to see it? Yes.

Obviously I'm exaggerating scenerio #1 on purpose. Because that exaggeration is what I imagine people to seem to think the show is leading to based on how intense their responses have been so far. I also tried to address some other things I've seen people freaking out about when making the scenarios, like how Kaz will react to Tolya or worrying if Tolya being aroace will ever be acknowledged in the show.

What do I think is most likely to happen? Honestly, scenario #3 or #4. Maybe #6. That's why I'm not freaking out. Yes I ship Kanej, yes I think Tolya is aroace, but I also like the idea of them exploring Tolnej and I think either #3 or #4 would be fun to see. While the show strays from the books in a lot of ways, I don't think they'll stray from the final relationships by the end of it.

At the end of Ruin and Rising, Mal and Alina get to leave, get married, and live an ordinary life full of ordinary things. I LOVE the ending (apparently that's another controversial opinion I have about the Grishaverse) but that didn't happen in the show. Yet. The show has separated Mal and Alina so that Mal can figure out who he is without his tracking and so they can find out if they love each other for each other, or if it was just destiny that pulls them together. This is not in the book at all. And yet I love it. It can lead to strengthening their relationship since I trust the show will still end eventually with them together, hopefully with their ordinary ending. I think the show is doing the same thing with Kanej. The "I'll have you without your armor or not at all" conversation actually came towards the end of the duology, but the show moved it much earlier. I like that they did because this gives them something to build up from. Another reason I like scenarios #3 and #4 is because they still give Kaz the opportunity take what Inej said to heart and try to live without his armor. At the end of Crooked Kingdom, he takes off his glove and holds Inej's hand, but he is not at that point in the show yet. He will be eventually. And knowing that Inej might move on with Tolya can give him more reason to work to get to that point. I don't think the show is telling us Kanej will never happen, I think the possibility of Tolnej is the same as them separating Malina. I believe they will all come back together.

And if any of my listed scenarios do happen: THAT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN TOLYA'S SEXUALITY IS ERASED.

Sexuality in the Grishaverse is never defined. The fans can make inferences based on the relationships that Leigh gives her characters, but they don't define the characters' sexualities with labels in the books. This is because in the Grishaverse, labels as we know them don't seem to exist. You can kind of think of it in the way that we should treat LGBT+ people in history: we can give them labels of what we would consider them to be in our current era, but we'll never truly know what they would have labeled themselves because either they were closeted or there were just no labels for their sexualities at the time. And when they did have labels, they often called themselves things that many LGBT+ people would never use today. I look at the Grishaverse characters' sexualities in a similar way; they don't label themselves, and we can make assumptions based on the labels we would use, but they will never be explicitly canon unless Leigh puts it in the books.

For example, Hanne in Rule of Wolves (MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THIS PARAGRAPH) Leigh uses "she/her" pronouns for them up until the last part of the book, and then Leigh is careful to NEVER use any pronouns for Hanne again. The fandom assumes Hanne identifies as a transman from that point on or maybe nonbinary, but we really don't know for sure yet because it happened so late in the book. The Grishaverse wiki uses "they/them" pronouns for Hanne precisely because we don't know what they prefer. All we know is that they always felt uncomfortable when they presented as a girl, and they enjoyed Tailoring themself to be more masculine. Maybe in future books we will get a definite answer as to whether they are a transman or nonbinary, but for now we technically don't know. But out of respect, the fandom has agreed to use they/them for Hanne. (RULE OF WOLVES SPOILERS ARE DONE)

So, if Tolya does have a relationship with Inej at some point in the show, whether or not it lasts, it doesn't erase the possibility of Tolya being on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrums. The show and books are never going to give him a definitive label. He could be demisexual/romantic and figure out after forming a bond with Inej that he has sexual or romantic feelings for her. Or he could be greysexual/romantic, which has a purposefully wide definition (rare specific circumstance that he desires having a relationship, weak attraction or difficulty telling it apart from platonic feelings, etc), and his experiences with Inej could fall into one of those categories. In these cases, we'd probably get a scene where he'd say something like "I've always thought I only needed my books and faith, but after getting to know you, Inej, I have never felt this way before and I don't think I'll ever feel this way again." This would still be representation for people who fall along the middle of the aroace spectrum, but not those at the furthest edge. If the relationship doesn't last and through it he realizes that he's sure that these are things he's not interested in, then that represents every aroace person who had to go through that before coming to terms with their sexuality. It's not erasure. Maybe it doesn't specifically represent YOU if you consider yourself aroace, but it definitely represents SOMEONE who does (I'd find it very relatable).

And all of this goes back to something I mentioned at the start: the show is not DONE. If it gets renewed, which it likely will, then there is more to see. To me, the people I see freaking out about the possibility of Tolnej, whether it's because they ship Kanej and don't want a triangle or because they don't want Tolya's sexuality to be "erased," are reacting the way you'd usually see people react if the show ended at this point. But it probably will not. And then when I see posts from the people who are thinking ahead, they seem to only be considering scenario #1 and not realizing there are a multitude of directions for the show to go in. It's not worth freaking out over. Plus, there's always the saying "don't like don't read," so if you find you really are disliking even the possibility that any scenario I listed could come true, you can just not watch the show and pretend it doesn't exist. The books are never changing. Even if the show changes everything, even if they have Alina end up with Jesper or Wylan end up with Nadia or Zoya marry a volcra or any other ridiculous outcome that utterly changes the show's canon, the book's canon will never change. You can always turn to the books if things don't ultimately turn out in a way you want them to.

Also, why am I seeing people complain that fans are writing fanfiction already about Tolnej? Why are you complaining about what other fans are doing that has zero affect on you? Fanfiction is not just for the canon ships. It's not even just for shipping in general, but it's definitely not reserved to the ships that are canon. You can write fanfiction for any ship you want to. Shipping wars have never truly made sense to me, but maybe that's because my first big online fandom was Glee and the ships were constantly changing and switching around so there was no point in putting too much effort into arguing because it may all change in the next episode anyway. Yes, we had lots of ship wars, but when people shipped the most random "crackships" possible then the appropriate response for most people was "wow, they really ship that, weird" and then to move on. Let people write fanfics. That's why AO3 exists. You can just write whatever you like. And yes of course a new crop of fans hate AO3, which is a whole other issue I cannot wrap my head around, but the point is to just let people write the fanfic they want to write and make the fanart they want to. Someone has already made a Tolnej fanvid on YouTube? Wow that's incredible since they did it so quickly! Malina on the moon AU? Cool throw in some sun and moon jokes! Do you think that Wylan and Hershaw would be best friends? Go for it, they'll probably blow everything up! The Darkling and Mal and Alina incest AU fic? Not my cup of tea but you do you and I just won't read it. People will write what they want to, and they aren't hurting anyone in the process, so if you don't want to see it then don't read it.

I see people complaining that shipping wars will begin to start after this fandom had been so peaceful for years. Honestly, the only reason there weren't shipping wars before this was because Six of Crows didn't have enough characters and possible ships to have a war over. Mixing with Shadow and Bone earlier in the timeline has opened up the possibilities. You know how to prevent shipping wars? Just don't fight with people who ship the things that you don't ship. Don't engage. If you see a Tolnej fanfiction, don't tell the author "Ew I hate Tolnej. You shouldn't have written this." just don't read it. Or if you do read it and still don't like it, then move on. If someone who ships Tolnej comes on a Kanej post and starts saying Tolnej is better, or vice versa, you can press the block button. Or you can just not respond to them. A shipping war doesn't start if you don't fight in it. There can just be people who ship Tolnej, people who ship Kanej, people who ship all 3 of them together, and everyone can just choose what they want to interact with and scroll past what they don't.

When it comes to Avatar: The Last Airbender, I am a gigantic Zutara shipper, and the Zutara vs Kataang ship war was infamously a bad one, but I just try not to engage in it. I know my ship isn't canon. Sure, I'll complain that it's not canon, maybe say "Oh in this scene they were so in love" and think about what could have been, but then I just go read Zutara fanfics. If you don't want to see shipping wars, don't participate. Ignore it. Move on.

But you know what? I think I know what the ultimate source of this is, or at least one of the sources. I've been seeing similar uproars in the Stranger Things and Umbrella Academy fandoms this year. Both are fandoms that also tend to skew younger than myself. I think fans, especially younger fans, are now reacting in these intense ways as a defense mechanism because so many shows get cancelled early. They're preparing in advance for this to be the last of whatever media they love, they're preparing for this to be canon forever, and they aren't happy.

Using Stranger Things as my example, I saw it happen when people were mad that Will didn't come out as gay at the end of Season 4 and that Mike didn't fall in love with him. I get that you guys ship them, and I love Will and want him to be happy, but just because it didn't happen in Season 4 doesn't mean it's not going to happen. First of all, Will is a 14 year old kid in the 1986 from a small town in Indiana that can barely handle Dungeons and Dragons and he's already been bullied at school for possibly being gay, coming out is not as easy as it is today. Reagan only just acknowledged AIDS one year earlier. Even Robyn hasn't come out to anyone but Steve. If they had thrown in Will coming out amongst the chaos of Elle fighting Vecna and trying to save Max, I know people would complain that it got shoehorned in as an afterthought. And because it didn't happen at all, people are complaining about that too. I know people will always complain about something, but I'm sure that fewer fans would complain if they didn't have the fear of cancellation instilled in them. Sure, Stranger Things would never get cancelled before finishing the planned story, but these fans are just used to feeling that the end of each season of every show could possibly be The End, and then complain about the loose ends accordingly.

That's what I think I'm seeing from the people who are upset about the possibility of Tolya and Inej being together. The show will probably be renewed, but it's not guaranteed. If it were to end right now, then yeah, fans who only watch the show would assume Inej and Kaz will never be together, that Tolya is interested Inej, and they'd have no idea that he's implied to be aroace in the books. But here's the thing: if you read the books, you know none of this is true. In the books, Tolya is aroace representation. In the books, Kaz and Inej are implied to have a romantic future. Why does it matter to you and your life if some people who watch the show don't know about the parts of the books that haven't happened yet? The fans who are mad about this change are all book fans because we're the ones who know it's a change. If we don't like the change, we can always choose to only acknowledge the books. The books can't be cancelled. The books are not going to change. Even if the show goes in directions you don't like, you can always take solace in the books.

Also, I see way too many people complaining about Tolya and Inej who have only read SoC/CK but not any of the books that Tolya actually appears in.

I'm nearly done. I wanted to address the aroace fans who are sad because they saw themselves in Tolya and now feel he doesn't represent them. I'm sorry that a character you connected to doesn't touch you the same way in the show as they did in the book. But you can't say Tolya isn't aroace representation in the show, at least not yet. At this point, he doesn't represent YOU and you definitely deserve representation, but he does represent SOMEONE. And hopefully he will continue to represent someone. So many aroace people had relationships with people they cared about and thought they felt romantic or sexual love for, before they eventually realized they were aroace. If this ends up as Tolya's story, then that rings true to SO MANY people. As I keep repeating, the show is not over, this could be leading to one of the scenarios where Tolya figures out that he is aroace through pursuing a relationship with Inej. He could already be demi or grey and it just hasn't come up in the show yet, but meeting Inej is one of the few times in his life that he does feel romantic and/or sexual attraction. Or, the look he gave her was just platonic and he's excited to have her aboard the Volkvolny.

We don't know for sure. It's better to just let the show's story unfold and remember that you will always have the books you love, rather than waste energy worrying about where the show is heading.

So yeah. I love Tolya. I love the idea of Tolnej. I love any plot point that can put more Tolya on my screen. I am greyromantic and demi/grey/flux/asexual/whatever and I personally like where they're taking his character and I want to see what it leads to. I hope it ultimately leads to him staying on the asexual and aromantic spectrums, but we don't know for sure right now. We just need to wait and see.

Also, don't tag any hate posts for the ship in the Tolya Yul-Bataar, Tolnej, Tolya x Inej, and Inej x Tolya tags. That's just fandom etiquette 101.

.......................

tl;dr:

1) The show isn't done yet and we don't know where it's heading. 2) The show can be heading in a bunch of different directions, including keeping Tolya as aroace and having Kanej be canon. 3) Asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums and umbrella terms, so Tolya could be with Inej and still be considered aroace. 4) This isn't erasing aroace representation because there will still be aroace people who will feel represented by him. 5) The books are not going away so if worst comes to worst, he'll still always be aroace representation in the books.

#tolya yul bataar #grishaverse #shadow and bone #inej ghafa #sab spoilers #shadow and bone spoilers #anyway if you're gonna try to argue with me then at least read the whole thing first #i try to anticipate things people will ask about or argue against when i write stuff like this. so at least read it if you wanna argue. #since i likely tried to touch on whatever point you wanted to make. if not then cool. #if you don't wanna read the whole thing and if even the tldr is too long for you then just don't try to argue #also my anon is off. it hasn't been turned on in years. so. yay. #my replies are also off unless i follow you or you've followed me for a week. but not because of this post. #it's because i had a racist call me the N-word over House of the Dragon. so. i got bigger things to worry about. #oh especially listen to that last point and don't tag any hate. notice i didn't tag this as kanej. #this isn't even kanej hate. this isn't remotely kanej hate. you can see from my SoC duology review post #i ship kanej. i like kanej. but i still didn't tag it. this will show up in searches because i said kanej throughout. #but it's not going to show up in the kanej tag. because i just don't want to open that can of worms. #anyway i spent like... 7 total hours writing this over the course of this afternoon and evening #when i get in the zone i get in the zone

[thelovelesslesbian]

getting girl advice from an elder lesbian is like: “give me her Instagram” “I’m not going to message her I just want to see!” “there’s nothing here to indicate her orientation” (I’m aware lol) “but she’s very nice looking you should go for it” 😅

#personal #I love her but I also know by asking for advice I’ve opened up a can of worms where I’m gonna have to talk about it more #and by saying something to one I might as well have said something to the whole lot

[ariesbilly]

Eddie is a “disco sucks” metalhead whereas billy secretly loves and appreciates disco because 1. His mom was into it and played it a lot around him and 2. He was around enough of the queer community back in Cali that he has fond memories attached to it plus he likes anything he can shake his ass and glitter his tits to hope this helps

#‘Eddie’s more of a real metalhead than billy’ #do you wanna open that can of worms do you want me to remind you how racist and homophobic metalheads were to create a whole backlash #against disco do you wanna go there #cuz we can go there #don’t think I forgot about his little rant about ~real music y’all are gonna get your feelings hurt

[strebcr]

How do you feel about the hazbin discourse?

All I'm gonna say on the matter is It feels like the legit criticism for hazbin and Vizi gets lost in so many bad faith petty mean girls nit-picks, and honestly that's the most annoying part of the hazbin discourse for me. There's a lot you can and SHOULD critique Vizi and hazbin for! However all the good critiques get drowned out by the loudest and most annoying voices in the room 😔 *cough cough* twitter

#That's all I'm gonna say on the matter beacuse it's a whole can of worms I don't wanna open 😔 #Hazbin mention #Anonymous #I'm just here to write my silly goth man in peace

[kallypsos]

top 5 football fanfics?

let me preface this answer by saying i dont read y/n fanfics so this is gonna be gay. amen lets go

You and Me by hpdm4ever: a leo messi/sergio ramos soulmate au that got me into football fanfics. i read this twice and i cant wait to forget about it a bit so i can read it again lmao

Wrong Door by bytheriverblue: this one isnt slash, its basically a long conversation between leo and kylian (about sexuality, motivation, football) and i love it

Heart on Fire by JamesJoints: neybappe, kylian isnt famous and they meet playing call of duty au. this fic made me feel joy and pure happiness like few others.

our horizons meet by crys_crys: neybappe coming together after the divorce era. if i remember correctly this takes place during one evening and it was like being there in the room for the whole time

Carnations by Chance by kyluill: neybappe time travel au. if i see carnations i cry and its bc of this fanfic so that should tell u everything

thank you for your question!! <33

(i have more but these are probably the top5)

#people are so talented. they really be out there writing like *that* for free. and i get to read it #ask games #(so yall can blacklist if u want to since im gonna go through a few of these) #ok the last 3 i think you'd need to at least like neybappe a bit to read i admit it #but the first two ill recommend to anyone #especially the second one since its literally just a “realistic” and SO well thought and written conversation and musings of a character #and theres no slash so if you dont feel like reading that youre good #but the whole slash rpf is a whole nother can of worms im not opening in the tags lmao

[christianborle]

there’s a local theater near me putting on something rotten! and I kind of want to go but I also feel like it’s gonna be so weird to see the show again????

#if you didn’t know i saw something rotten 27 times on Broadway #it was a big hyperfixation #so when you’ve seen only one or two casts perform it in a certain production so many times #and on broadway level scale #it feels so weird to see it in another context #if this was any other show I’d be like nice cool! #but this is a show I know like the back of my hand like I’m so specific about it #like what if it’s bad idk!!! #it’s also $30 #which I totally understand why they are charging that much it makes sense #but reader I’m poor I don’t spend over $10 these days #and if I decide I’m uncomfortable and want to leave then i wasted my money #it’s like. that musical transports me back to 2015 #and it’s a huge emotional toll to go back to that time for me #if I’m gonna rewatch SR and put myself back there it’s gotta be WORTH IT u know #listening to the score opens a whole can of worms it’s overwhelming #I can’t just Casually go see a production of SR because of what it means to me #is anyone reading these novel of a tags lol #does anyone understand my hesitation

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

What is it that you don't like about the fandom characterisation of demo? I sort of Very Much Curate the kind of content i consume so i don't get a lot of demoman in my daily feed amd i'd appreciate the insight !

I've actually made a Lot of posts about this u can go find them if u want more in-depth discussions of my thoughts (I might try to link them in a rb? but for the most part they should be under #demoman tf2 as an original post tag) but basically people very very often completely water him down to his addiction (and traits they associate with that addiction, most often laziness and aggression) (and bringing it up all the time), and also the amount of times I've seen people call him "feral" or "rabid", which, I will say with my chest, is racist

#i also notice people focusing a Lot on like. the Physical Strength and Physical Bigness of him which in and of itself isn't weird #but like it's weird that they don't do it for soldier! or medic! or whoever else in their little fics! #(speaking of fics *spy voice* pornography is actually a whole Fucking can of worms w him but i won't open that here lmaoooo) #ask #hattedhellspawn #tf2 #demo #i'm gonna go find my other posts they're good

[stinkbeck]

guy called someone i know a prostitute last night + he’s dating my friend + he has this whole soft boy persona and like… OW! that girl’s not all that fun 2 hang around with, but she’s clearly going through some shit?? and to call her SO CASUALLY a prostitute while we’re just bitching about how she uses people..? what the hell man. like FIRST he brought up how she’s probably got a shitton of stds and we didn’t acknowledge him and then he told the other guy in our group that she’s basically just a prostitute at this point… like fucking CHRIST! you can’t get away from this shit! miserable little boy. you’re not much to be speaking so highly.

#but hell they’re both rich. in the end if they don’t hurt each other it’s not gonna be an issue for either of them. #like she’s not a sex worker + to try to degrade her by comparing her to one is just so fucking annoying. she feels pressured to sleep with #these guys. like that’s not the same at all. #and sex work isn’t bad either. just so many cans of worms opened. #i was in favor of throwing this man out before they started dating but like whatever. #also wait i’m fucking dying. he talked about wanting to buy a slice of pizza from this booth to ‘fund israel’ and throw it in their faces b #he hates israel’s whole deal so much… like … WHAT WAS THAT?! i nearly started laughing. #how is he in grad school behaving like a high school boy?

[avocado-frog]

how am i supposed to live laugh love under these conditions

tldr for tags my mom found an old journal of mine and read through it so i accidentally outed myself to her lols

#might be a vent in the tags jsyk #but brooo i had this journal when i was 14-15 and my MOTHER read it today because she Could (tm) #the journal in question was in a box in the storage unit that clearly had my name on it so she chose to open it and read through the journa #right so the journal in question had the name isaac on it and i am not out to her #i guess i fuckin am NOW??? #but she hasnt said anything ab that. she def saw it tho. RIGHT on the cover #but no her focus was that i wrote that i. didnt particularly care for her when she lived with her boyfriend which is a WHOLE can of worms #but tdlr on him he kicked my brother and i out bc my brother used his phone past his bedtime. we were 13 and 11 #and he fought with my mom + 11 yr old brother every night for like four years. which sucked a lil tbh #i dont know what she EXPECTED it to say #gonna be real im a little mad #because like girlllllllll you chose to open that box and then open that book and like that's mineeeee you cant just do that shit :( #i dont have to deal with it for two more days. am at my dad's house #i am fixing it with the power of ✨white out✨ #WHICH I SHOULDNT HAVE TO DO. IT'S LITERALLY MINE #if i keep thinking about this im going to explode #vent #??? #i think #ok update like an hour later. i read a little bit of the journal that she read and uhh SHIT. #girlie i wrote all THAT and you're upset because i wrote that i dont like your boyfriend??? okay

[subterra-rose]

I think Hunter is a good character in showing how trauma can be reductive to a person’ view of self because as someone who grew up abused by a guardian, a lot of the anger and resentment directed at me as a child wasn’t my fault, but the result of someone taking her bitterness out on someone who reminded her of the person who hurt her. And it can take a lot of time to heal from having to hear your entire life you’re just like that person and then figure out who you are outside of that perception

#texting my patience #child abuse ment #not even gonna go into the generational trauma of the coven system vs real life indigenous people because that’s #a whole new can of worms to open up and I don’t want to talk about personal family stuff #ok to rb but do not clown #the owl house

[catgirlkirigiri]

I need virtual pet site suggestions. I really want a new one or two but I can’t find any that I haven’t already taken for a spin </3

#comments reblogs asks anything i need sites. i need them #currently im at least a bit active on wolvden chicken smoothie voidpet goatlings #mweor subeta and exabyss #not a huge fan of flight rising dragoncave magistream neopets or furry paws but i pop on those from time to time too #used to love ovipets but all my pets there died and i havent gone back since #im gonna sign up for pixelcatsend next week when theres an opening #and theres a few other sites i know i have accounts on (some i want to check in on) but i cannot for the life of me remember the names #so if you know any that are not in that list there please please tell me i will join immediately #oh wait also no lioden i got banned there for accidentally making like 6 accounts because i kept losing mine lmao #specifically asking for browser stuff here btw. ill try desktop apps i guess but its hard for me to really get into those #desktop virtual pet games i have would be petz4 fish tycoon wobbledogs and if you count httyd school of dragons i have that too #and a few on roblox but thats a whole other can of worms #virtual pet sites #virtual pet games #virtual pets #site reccomendations #game reccomendations #k thanks bye <3 #zoracontent

[strangerays]

i think that’s enough gaslight gatekeep girlbossing for today

#I have to wake up at five tomorrow #oh joy #you what tho I did kick ass at writing and reading goals today #I was really nostalgic and a bit sad tbh becauseeee I just did not feel connected to my old self at all #not gonna open that whole can of worms but it had a lot to do with feeling disconnected to my creativity/wrapping up my first year of colleg #and also writing my book has really made me miss who I was in high school #idk yanno? #I felt a bit sad today but it was still a good one(: #goodnight

[sweethearts-biggest-fan]

may i ask for a bigender bow sweetheart? ive got no qualms with the old flag (person who made it was shitty but i still like the flag itself and they dont gain from it or anything) but if you do it's fair enough if you use a different one.

I have no problem using an older flag! I'm currently not at home, but I'll do it tonight, thanks for reaching out :)

Besides that, I wanna share my own thoughts on flag controversy in general, so I'm putting it under read more because this is a Sweetheart centred blog and I'm not gonna subject people to my "hot takes" lol

Let me preface this with the fact that my opinion can change and I'm always willing to listen to other people and admit if I'm wrong. This is all based on my own experience as a transgender gay person.

Tldr; Flag controversy is ridiculous and often separates the community which is. stupid.

From my experience, every single identities flag has controversy. Whether the person who first made a flag for the label isn't the peak of moral goodness or simply flags becoming outdated.

Both of those things are fair, however a flag is something a person identifies with. If a person feels happier with an og flag, then that's all well and good as long as the flag itself doesn't exclude groups of people, such as the lipstick lesbian flag which excludes butch lesbians.

From my own experience as a trans guy who's gay, I've seen such stupid takes about the mlm flag, saying it's too similar to the wlw flag, which... I really think it doesn't matter. We're all in the same community. Taking inspiration from other flags is completely fine. I personally don't see a problem with it

We as a community should be finding solidarity, not bickering over flags when there's way more important things going on

#controversy #non-sweetheart related #i also looked into the controversy behind the og bigender flag and.... god thats just a can of worms i dont wanna open #i dont see a problem with the flag at all #like. read posts from both sides. The whole situation is... surely something #not gonna mention it though as its not my place

[nazumichi]

characters who rarely lose their composure or drop their ruses are like a siren song to me. and baby, i’m getting my sea legs.

#raii talks a lot #thinking about that post thinking about marie and how she shows emotions thinking about her guises etc #the inherent neurodivergent-ness of marie itami. this is real i promise. your honor she’s autistic #this post is getting off track but marie autism is so much i’m fifty hcs in a coat. anyway marie losing her composure #in rabid wolf and having a genuine fear moment is soooo interesting bc when we saw her experiencing feelings that i imagine she’d think #of as childish or unnecessary or hinderences to surviving the city (anger + glee + hurt) they’re all very neat #like she gets angry at michiru for calling her a weasel in greedy bears and then in the blink of an eye she’s normal again. she smiles in #response to shirou and michiru arguing on her boat and it’s. it’s a rare blink of something dare i say genuine? but again it’s neat #i’m not gonna open the can of worms that is her “oh that hurts!” act because that’s a whole other beast but.

[starrypawz]

Trying to psych myself up but also not psych myself out for this appointment

#this needs to be done but yeah bruh i just... #gonna be opening a whole crate of cans of worms and i just.... agh