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turtleblogatlast · 6 days

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Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.

Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.

Long-winded interpretation under the cut!

Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.

You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)

The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.

Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.

And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.

For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.

“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)

So, where does this leave us?

It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!

Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.

To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.

And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.

Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rise don suave #rottmnt don suave #I lied I’m back to ramble because I’m just #so bad at keeping my mouth shut #or uh #not typing word vomit #anyway- yeah this is my personal interpretation #I believe Leo was legitimately mesmerized by Don Suave’s powers…in the beginning #but even the series’ creator says it was ‘at least PART of what was going on with Leo’ so #idk it’s something that’s been on my mind and I was wondering if anyone else felt the same??#may delete this later who knowssss #pleaaaase feel free to disagree I just like to talk lol #but yeah sometimes I look around at how much media has LGBTQ+ rep in it now and it honestly makes me emotional??#(we always always ALWAYS could use more but)#we did not have even a crumb of this as kids #but also like most of that rep is new properties #and I just was thinking about what that could mean #idk man idk #once again please don’t take this as facts it is VERY MUCH NOT #man I was looking around for good images to use and found jack all #anyway tho did you know Donnie often has bi colors around him and Leo is often dressed in the colors of the trans flag-#okay anyway back to the caves I go this comic won’t draw itself #I gotta spray myself with water any time I go to type long winded essays because they’re not great for the mental health fr

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ox1-lovesick · 2 months

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#life update nobody asked for lol #I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies #I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow #still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow)#is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr #I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa #downgrading to a flip phone actually #I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER)#I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most #delulu is infact not the solulu #daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey #it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me #if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit #Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand #As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you #The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends #Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that #Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again #But I just wanted to share what's been going on #And I miss you guys a lot #I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart #I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme #Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person #But I hope you all are doing GREAT #Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy #You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything #xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥

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beesinspades · 4 months

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a+++ would recommend having a creechur plush to hug really tight when feeling sad, touch-starved, and horribly lonely

#trigun truly the backbone of my mental health this year #i hug him to sleep every night but i Needed A Hug so i grabbed him from the bedroom #almost started crying wowzie im doing great!#anyway he's so squishy he's great to hug #i know im gonna damage him over time if i keep hugging him at night too but buh :'(#emotional support creechur #bee talks

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outpost51 · 10 months

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The 51 Post

This week sucked a whole lot actually (I started this draft on Tuesday, and I haven't touched it until 5pm Sunday) but I read a lot of pretty good shit so I think it balances.

Contents:

Things You Might Have Missed

This Week's Jams

WIP Breakdowns

From the Skwad

Around the 'Blr

Things You Might Have Missed

get on my taglists for WIP updates, 51 post, tag games, and ask events!

BRHP: Chapter 15 posted; Talus is having a Bad Time.

I stabbed Adrien real good

BRHP: Chapter 16 posted; baby's first fight pit, and a family secret is revealed.

Not new, but I dug up Adrift and The Sky, The Stars, and Me so enjoy the spooky space shorts.

See more entries for SSSC 006 below, mine is here: i'll take everything.

Growing Pains: the 6th entry into the Lighthouse in the Fog shorts; our new Keeper is definitely adjusting so well to her new life.

I'm starting to release chapters of Unlikely Adventures on tumblr now!

This Week's Jams

stargazing || power-haus, solarays [spotify/youtube]

up down || boy epic [spotify/youtube]

gasoline || chymes [spotify/youtube]

dangerous || new medicine [spotify/youtube]

she went that way || missy [spotify/youtube]

illuminated || hurts [spotify/youtube]

WIP Breakdowns

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

HI YOU GET TO MEET KADMOS IN CHAPTER 17 AND [SPOILERS] IN CHAPTER 18 I'M REALLY EXCITED

Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go F*ck Yourself

zadimus needs to stop it. that is all

Blinding Neon, Shades of Grey

you know what's fun to write? drug/dream sequences. you know what's even more fun? writing one for a detective in a flashy nightclub with murder on her mind

Stellar Parallax

saren is about to go do a Very Kill and jaen is So Excited About It. also wrex. but mostly violence

Lighthouse in the Fog

7th short will be coming out some time tonight, @thetrashbagswasteland picked some yummy prompt words

In the Works

y'all 🥺💕 thank you i needed a bunch of open-ended prompts to get the brain noodles out so i can hopefully not burn out on the main wips. i've still got the same backlog otherwise lmao

From the Skwad

IMPORTANT @fenrir-kin fell prey to the hellsite shenaniganuke, and is currently @vikingfenharel until it (hopefully) gets sorted.

Surprise Challenge 006 wrapped up with (mine's above): Just Take My Hand by @sparatus, Expanding the Vocabulary by @teamdilf, and The Storm Between Us by @thetrashbagswasteland

@equusgirl is going bananas with Sapphic Summer: i know with me, you'll get a little bit addicted, One Night, and will my hands ever be clean?

@sparatus also dropped chapter 1 & chapter 2 of Make Less the Depth of Grief and were it not for the laws of this land, i would have strangled him (affectionate) but also this tasty oneshot of Nautilea being so hot

@teamdilf HOW. New chapter of Alice's Adventures in Andromeda, another chapter of The In-Laws and the Grandparents, and another chapter in A Man of Many Talents. I'm calling witchcraft

@asher-orion-writes gave us this lovely oneshot set in Cardinal Sins and I'm??? yes

@princess-prawn dropped a new chapter of Next of Kin YESSS

@regalbois is writing his mlm war stories again and i'm vibrating please go read The Earth Abides

@commander-krios wrote more Dash/Leo (thank u for my life) and New Beginnings (thank u for TWO life wow)

Around the 'Blr

Art Claims are still going on for WIP Big Bang!!

@writernopal dropped character profiles for Magdalene and Sartor so this is your hint to get on the taglist for AASOAF 3

@tabswrites posted chapter 3 of Silver Sentinels and gave me life thank you, more please

@vacantgodling wrote this short for Lukewarm Rejection and we have no choice but to stan Trisha

@liv-is blessed writeblr with this snippet from Demigods i am eating it up

@void-botanist gave us this short for Another Ocean's Moon with LORE hidden in the tags hello

have you SEEN The Poster by @artdecosupernova-writing omg

@elshells dropped chapter 12 of Agent Ace YES congrats on the timeline choreography, bud!

wake up babes new Nameless Song short just dropped from @blind-the-winds

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Outpost Updates Taglist: @tabswrites @writernopal @freedominique @asher-orion-writes @liv-is @starknstarwars @captain-kraken

Ask to +/- in the tags, replies, DMs, or HERE!

#my fic #outpost updates #if i missed you throw something in my inbox or tag me!!#no but seriously i am so blessed to be surrounded by such great people who are passionate about their works #it has been a very busy very fucked up week for my mental health and emotional wellbeing

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westywallowing · 4 months

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back on my Bullshit and ranting in the tags rq

#in true Relationship Issues fashion #it sucks so much ass when its mental health changing and evolving that slowly starts crumbling your relationship #like im feeling it #im too anxiously independent and hes to anxiously attached and its brewing for not great situations that i am aware of #but dont know how to deal with because!! ive never dated someone like this before !!#people tell you what the flags are and what to look for but not what you should do #and that sometimes the right thing will hurt someone regardless of how you deliver it or how much you try to explain it #i dont know im feeling pretty lost in this rn and its driving me crazyyyy #but ill get through it its okay #i know i need to put myself forward and take care of my emotional and mental needs #and i am making strides to do so 👍🏻#just needed a place to rant LOL #tw relationships #westy's shit #ranting

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bones-n-bookles · 5 months

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My coworker texted me "how's the skull" and my first thought was "what skull?? I'm not cleaning any skulls right now???"

Then I remembered my Concussion in My Own Damn Skull

Doin great.

#he joined ranks (unknowingly) with my mom and roommates in telling me to stay tf home tomorrow #but also im gonna lose my damn mind if im stuck just. existing with myself. for another day #i cant draw i cant run i cant hike i cant doomscroll i cant read for long periods im useless and miserable #my mental health has been FUCKED the past like. four days now?? i think sat it tanked but im not fact checking my memory rn #and now ive lost most of my coping mechanisms so thats fun #weve moved to energy drinks on the kitchen floor with angry music to regulate my emotions #doin great doin great #itll be fine i texted my friend and he doesnt mind me calling if i need some extra support #anyways #wish me luck with my morning routine tomorrow lol i dont wanna stay home again #idle rambling #vent

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wouyoungarchive · 1 year

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hey! so recently i've been feeling a little down in the dumps and had a bit of a difficult time, so i came back to tumblr after a break and realised that what keeps me going through all of the bad days is you guys! after my break, i came back to find that i had missed you all so much. missed seeing your creations, missed reading your tags, missed talking to you and giving you compliments and loving on you all in general! it's one of my favourite passtimes didn't you know? hehehe so i decided to make a little appreciation post to all of my moots who make atinyblr such a special place to be, but also who make even my worst days not seem so dark any more.

under the cut you'll find a list of all the people here that i adore and love with all of my heart, and a special message to a few people who i really admire and cherish!

@applejongho — starting strong with tumblrs resident jongho enthusiast, annie! you're so special to me, oh my gosh. you're so fun and your creations always leave me bawling, especially your auteez series, i'm seriously in love with it. angel!yunho and vampire!yeosang are two of my favourites that you made! i love your gifs, i love your tags, i love you! thank you for making tumblr such an amazing experience and for converting me into a jongho bias even though i swore i wasn't ♡

@chwejongho — kaz!!! you're a new moot but that doesn't mean you're not beloved and cherished already hehehe i think you're just so neat and i'm in love with your colouring and gifs, you're so talented! your tags are always so sweet n fun and i love you! thank you for providing us with the best jongho gifs always, i really admire your talent and just you in general. beloved! ♡

@hwanswerland — fio! beloved! resident hwa enthusiast! how would tumblr be without you? i don't even want to think about it kfdhjs you're so important to atinyblr and everybody love love loves your gifs, including me! i think you're absolutely hilarious and i love reading your tags and giggling at what you say and just love you in general. i think you're so cool and a great creator and a great person in general. you're sooo good and i love you! ♡

@jjongho — sofieeee i think you're super neato and i'll always adore your gifs & edits. i really really look up to you in terms of content creation bc you're one of the best on atinyblr and it's so fun to see what you make. your gifs are always so sharp and you absolutely nail it every time like i don't know how else to say it, you're perfect! also you're such a friendly person and so funny and cool i love you sm thank you for being on atinyblr and making it such a great place to be for me ♡

@ortali — ortal! you're one of the first atiny creators i followed on tumblr and i really am grateful that i clicked the follow button because you're one of my favourites ever! your content is immaculate and you always find the best things to gif and i really admire you as a person and as a creator! you're one of the best people on atinyblr and i appreciate having you around so much! you're so sweet and lovely to talk to as well, you really are the whole package! ♡

@sanchelinz — luna! oh my goodness where to start with you? you're the backbone of atinyblr, you keep us going with all of the content you create and you're so quick with it too honestly hOW do you manage to make gifs so crisp and pretty SO quickly after content gets released?! magic truly! i love love love your gifs and i admire you so much for your talent and the way you always produce to loveliest content. i hope you stay on atinyblr forever because you're such an important part of it! ♡

@sanhwaiting — megan, beloved! you're one of the best people on atinyblr and i really appreciate having you around. you're one of the creators i look up to the most around here and i think your gifs are the most beautiful truly truly you're so good. when i found out you wanted to join atzsource i was really so excited to have you on board because i admire you so much and i think you're just so neat and cool and i honestly adore you! ♡

@sector1 — natalia my beloved!!! my most beloved in this whole world! words cannot express how much i adore you and how much you mean to me. talking to you was the best decision i ever made and i’m so shy i can’t believe i did it but where would i be without you? you’re a source of comfort and love and strength to me and i love you so so much! talking with you is my favourite pass time and i wish i got to do it more honestly, i could talk with you forever and a day and never get bored! you’re my favourite person, my comfort person, my most beloved, and i love you with my whole heart! ♡

@song-mingi — iri my love, nothing but respect for MY best content creator on tumblr dot com! kdjfhkd no but for real you're my fave and i think you're so neat and such an incredible content creator and atinyblr would be empty without you! your big gifs are my absolute favourite and an inspiration to me as a new content creator! i really admire your talent and just you in general. my favourite mingi simp. i love you! ♡

@woosansang — hellooo jazzy, my most beloved co admin and friend who i absolutely adore and love with my whole heart! you're the coolest and i so appreciate having you on atinyblr and on atzsource, you're such a great person to have around and so so so talented and funny and i love that you're absolutely insane for your bias line, and you always create the best content for them and nobody gifs quite like you, your gifs are so distinctive and incredible! i love love love you, thank you so much for being around on atinyblr, you make it such a great place to be always! ♡

and here are the rest of the people i love and adore and cherish on atinyblr:

@seonghwaminho @loserline @97chwe @ultmingki @daisyjiyong @retroyunho @miinsang @mangomingki @hwanwooyoung @bvlnoriyas @blackcatsan @ateezbiased @pjmsdior @minzbins @cruellajoong @bangzchan @blondejongho @toaction @cyberhwas @halahala @jeongyunho99 @jeong-yunhoes @kyungsoosus @sanshine @blueberrysan @ceojongho @kangyeosaang @charmerz @hongjooong @dejawoos @xuseokgyu @seonghhwa @ddominho @hwarizon @atzeez @kosunghos @strhwaberries ♡

#rin's love zone ♡#listen not to be emotional on tumblr dot com but i love you guys so much :( i think you're the best things since sliced bread #and i LOVE sliced bread ksdjfhks no but seriously you're all so important to me i love u guys a ton!!! a whole bunch!!!#being sick recently and having some health scares has really made me realise you need to cherish the people you love #and give them your affection because one day you might not be able to and AAAA anyway i love u guys thanks for making atinyblr great #and keeping my mood good while i've been struggling a lot <3

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a-walking-fandom-reference · 3 months

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wiki how to uninstall depression

#depression kicking my ass rn idk if need new meds or it’s other health shit or body just dumb #i was holding on by a thread just for slime and then slime fell through so now no joy this week and also therapist canceled #if i could have any emotion besides empty dissection that would be great #rey actually speaks

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commanderfreddy · 10 months

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i never remember to explain shit anymore i just vaguepost and expect people to catch up but i finally have good news, we've made a lot of progress with my parents' estate (they both ran their own businesses and you know those images of nightmare cable management? well imagine that with bank accounts) and i actually have money now - im taking a trip to Aotearoa NZ with my mate Jules next week (dark sky reserve! lotr filming locations! snow! FOOD!) and then in august i will be moving to nyc to pursue a 2 year masters degree in library science with a focus on rare materials archival studies!! shits happening in my life!! im not just sitting in my house doing nothing all day!! and like i said i have money!! if you're taking commissions lmk bc while im focused on my getaway for the next few weeks i wanna support my friends and their art and when i get back i wanna throw u cash to draw my ocs!!

#fred says a thing #personal #i havent slept (its 8am) but not for sad reasons! i was reading a good book and then i just had a lot of thoughts!#invariably i will be sad again - probably soon! i will definitely see stuff on my trip that i will want to show my parents and have to #experience the strange nature of grief-for-what-never-was several times over during otherwise great moments #- but i will also be happy in the future too!#my therapist says i definitely have ptsd! im learning more about emotional flashbacks and how to manage them!#im a human being and i will continue to be one for the rest of my life!#i hope thats a long time!#but even if that isnt something my genetics allows i was happy now! and people were happy to have me in the world!#im realising that sounds rather alarming but i just have a lot of fears about my genetics considering. you know. the cancer orphaning.#im trying to manage both my health fears and my health itself in a reasonable way! i made a chicken tomato pasta sauce last night #just from ingredients i had lying around and it was pretty good!#i have a ripe tomato i picked from the garden yesterday that today i will fry up with bacon and put on some toast i think #there are so many books i want to read #there are so many books i want to write #in a few days i will be experiencing snow (a rarity for me) and i will probably be handling the cold very poorly and i will feel excited #and uncomfortable at the same time #and for much of my life i will experience a lot of contradictory things at the same tiem #and i will experience times of great boredom and inaction! we all have to stand in queues and wait for buses and go to the dentist #and wonder what might have been #but i will experience them. i will.

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stillcominback · 1 year

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💕

#you ever just not feel great ???#ugh seriously i feel like i haven't had a break in months #( mostly work just fully draining my life-force )#but this week especially i feel so much more anxious and unlike myself like more than usual???#it's in that: i annoy everyone i talk to stage #which i KNOW isn't true i know it's my brain telling lies but MAN #not feeling my best!!!#BUT #it just makes me wanna tell you all how much i love and appreciate you tbh #really like most of you have been my friends (and mutuals) for SUCH a long time #and whether we talk all the time or once in a blue moon like i hope you know every bit of that really makes me so happy #you're all so great and talented and i'm just glad to have you all here!#i do have a vacation planned (finally) going to toronto for the first time at the end of the month!!#here's hoping that'll help my mental health with a fun REAL break #but really just in my emotions and wanted to throw love at folks / you all #just know that if you're going through it?? you're not alone and we're gonna get through this! 💖💖💖#idk skdjfasdf i just needed to get this off my brain and written down somewhere #00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )

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rexscanonwife · 5 months

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Ok I just saw a post about holding f/os love handles and ouggghhh that made me think about Rex after Order 66 when we hide away and start making a new life for ourselves and him gaining a bit of weight and filling out bcs of it 🥺👉👈💖💖💖🥺

#jane journals #self insert talk #💙 oh captain my captain 💙#ive definitely talked about this before but idc youll hear it again!!#the clones are on such a barebones fucking diet you KNOW they are #and constantly training and fighting and pushing their bodies to the limit #to actually let his body rest and retain the nutrients he gets from REAL food #weight gain shown as improvement #as emotional health #I LIVE FOR THAT SHIT #and him getting a little soft in the belly would drive brea insane!!#maybe shes not a GREAT cook when she leaves the order but shell get better with time ajfkgg

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clockworkflicker · 2 years

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[tap or open image in new tab for higher quality]

In Sickness and In Spite

3.5k words, F cold. Familiarity with the source material is not required.

Fi/re Emb/lem Thr/ee Ho/pes — platonic Hubert & Monica. Snzfic + character study. These idiot rivals begrudgingly care about each other, your honor! Cue mlm-wlw bickering. Inspired by this post about ice magic. We love a sniffly traumatized mage.

Content warnings for wartime medieval fantasy setting, referenced past imprisonment, and mess.

“Return to the eastern encampment at once, and see to it that our reserves are told to prepare for the capture of Arianrhod.”

The faintest of smiles threatens to tug at Hubert’s lips as he hands a letter off to the courier standing at attention in his quarters. His expression, which the courier might later describe as “reeking of malicious contentedness” is one that Hubert’s fellow commanders are slowly growing used to as this war drags on, but it still sends a chill down the spines of those less familiar with the man’s more dubious qualities.

“Count Bergliez is to bring his troops to Arianrhod to hold the city in our absence, do I make myself clear?”

The man’s voice is smooth as dark chocolate, and equally rich, the courier finds himself thinking as he accepts the letter from Hubert. Of course, now is no time to indulge in chocolate, nor thoughts of admiration of a man’s voice. How foolish.

“I’ll see it done.”

Hubert folds his arms and gives a subtle nod. “Good. Well then, safe travels.”

The courier leaves, and Hubert finds himself once again alone in his quarters. He considers stepping out to check in with Lady Edelgard and discuss upcoming battle plans, but he thinks better of it once he pulls the drape from the entrance to his tent and sees that the sun has already set. They’ll be marching again early in the morning, and Her Majesty is likely to be asleep (or attempting to sleep, at least) by this hour.

He lights the lantern at his desk and sets a kettle to boil for coffee. His body feels heavy after the day’s skirmish at Magdred Way, but his mind isn’t quite ready to sleep. His troops encountered those damn Agarthan mages looming between the trees at Magdred. Evidence of their continued presence in this war, pulling the strings from behind the curtains, is enough to keep him up at night — not that he’d ever admit to such a thing. Given that he’s not sleeping just yet, there’s no sense in squandering an opportunity to get some work done, so he settles down with a stack of paperwork and quill.

Outside, a chorus of crickets come alive for the night, cautiously chirping along with the smoky early-autumn breeze and the occasional chatter from other commanders and soldiers passing by. After some time, the sound of a harsh sneeze pierces the white noise. Hubert casts a slow glance to his tent’s entrance. It sounded close by, but no one’s immediately outside the tent. He sets the distraction aside and returns to the list of provisions he was perusing.

But he can’t help but notice that the crickets’ song is punctuated by the occasional sniffle. Is that new, or has he only just noticed it now, he wonders. After a few minutes, there’s another sneeze, this one more high pitched than the last, followed by a slow, laden groan. It’s a familiar groan, he realizes. He knows exactly who it belongs to.

Unlike Monica von Ochs, Hubert does not possess a perfect memory. But given the frequency with which the woman expresses irritation around him, he would be remiss not to recognize the sound of her grumbling.

Her tent isn’t far from his. “I’m Her Majesty’s vassal just as much as you are,” Monica had insisted when they’d been setting up their base camp last week. “If she has need of me, I wish to be prepared and nearby.”

While Hubert finds her near-constant presence and general lack of composure to be somewhat grating, he certainly cannot complain about the woman’s dedication. Monica is, above all else, a valuable asset to the army and confidant to Her Majesty.

The kettle boils. He sets his quill aside and finds the coffee grounds he’d packed in his satchel. His eyes fall on the Almyran pine tea blend he keeps handy next to his stash of coffee grounds — a provision should he find a spare moment to enjoy a warm beverage with Ferdinand.

Hubert briefly regards the pine needles. Certainly not the ideal tea for a cold, and he can’t imagine his neighbor would particularly want his company. And yet...

~~~

There’s ice in her veins and haze clouding her head, and that’s really all there is to say on the matter. She sits at her desk, bundled up in her cloak with a quill and stack of paperwork. The flickering light from her lantern blurs her vision, eyes half-lidded and threatening to grow too rheumy to make out the words.

Not that it matters much. The chill gnawing at her bones from the inside out is enough of a distraction on its own that Monica finds herself wholly unable to make a dent in the status report she’s meant to have on Her Majesty’s desk by tomorrow morning.

She sniffles in irritation. She’d managed to doze off immediately after returning from Magdred this afternoon, but sleep held little respite. After a few hours of tossing and turning, she’d gasped awake, shivering with ire and cold sweat, unpleasant memories distorted by the whims of her feverish subconscious still vivid in her mind. With some effort, Monica had forced herself upright, shakily grasping the glass of water beside her bed and taking a drink.

She’s never forgotten what it’s like to be locked up in a cell — how could she? They say time heals all wounds, but such a thing can’t be true; not for her. While the sands of time are kind enough to erode others’ painful memories, weathering away sharp edges into manageable curves, Monica needs only close her eyes to find herself back on that cold stone floor, every detail in place, nothing forgotten. Exactly 296 stone blocks comprised the wall she had been chained to. That horrible woman’s raucous laugh, which always hit G#, no higher, no lower. The gleam of her athame, teasingly pressed below Monica’s jaw with just enough force to draw a thin line of fresh blood. The warm ferrous odor intermingling with the cool musk of the dungeon and that woman’s near-intoxicating scent of patchouli, sage, and mahogany.

And knowing Her Majesty was put through something so much worse; held in a cell and poked, prodded, sliced open, then reassembled as a tool of war? It makes her blood boil.

Her head had swam from sitting up so fast; a reminder that this Goddess-forsaken fever is going to literally boil her blood if she’s not careful.

Against her better judgement, she’d lit her lantern and dragged herself to her desk to take care of some paperwork. As much as she’d love to drift back off to sleep, the thought of going back there — even if only in a dream — is more than enough to keep her wide awake for a few more hours. Normally, she’d go out for a run or a swim to clear her head and simmer down, but she frankly can’t imagine her body will comply today.

Pinching her nose with a handkerchief that has long outlived its usefulness, Monica distantly wonders what would’ve become of her in that cold dark cell, had Her Majesty not come to her aid. She’d be dead, probably. It’s a useless thought, but one that plagues her nonetheless. Her nose is no less damp when she pulls the cloth away, so she sniffles again and resigns to just cleaning herself up with the inner collar of her cloak, soft fabric feeling like sandpaper against her nostrils.

“Monica?” A low voice from outside her tent startles her back to reality. “It’s Hubert. I have a matter I’d like to discuss, if you wouldn’t mind my company at this hour.”

She hesitates. Company is the last thing she wants right now. Well, perhaps she wouldn’t mind if it was Lady Edelgard or Dorothea...

“I’ll leave you be if you’d prefer it,” Hubert continues when she doesn’t reply. “But I thought it prudent to offer some tea.”

Still no response. Hubert briefly wonders if she’s managed to fall asleep. But then a small sniffle breaks the silence, followed by the sound of shuffling blankets. Monica draws aside the thick cloth draped over her tent’s entrance, eyes tilted up to meet his. Her brow is knit in confusion, but her gaze is glassy and distant. By the look of things, it was indeed the prospect of tea that coaxed her out.

She finds Hubert stood before her, holding two cups, warm steam gently rising from both. Monica doesn’t need her sense of smell to know their contents. One black coffee — a preposterous choice of beverage at this hour — and one Almyran pine tea. It’s almost a comedic image, the way the man's usual looming presence is kneecapped by something as mundane as a warm drink.

“You keep Almyran pine needles on your person specifically for Ferdinand,” she says plainly, her voice hoarse around the edges. “Why offer them to me?”

A slight frown draws Hubert’s lips. This woman is irritatingly perceptive and straightforward, especially when it comes to relationships he would prefer she kept quiet about.

But even in the low light, he can see the exhaustion plainly written across Monica’s face; dark thumbprints pressed beneath her eyes, a glimmer of moisture sits below her pinkish nose, her pallor framed by a mess of untamed burgundy locks. Judging by the paperwork strewn about on her desk, he figures she’s been just as busy as he’s been this evening. It’s not all that cold out, but her slight frame is swallowed up in a heavy winter cloak. Despite this, she looks to be shivering a little, and Hubert makes a mental note to check later if any of her reports from this excursion will need to be rewritten due to shaky handwriting.

While Monica is objectively the shortest commander in the Adrestian army, her shrewd demeanor and prowess on the battlefield are more than enough to compensate for what she lacks in height. But for the first time in years, Hubert finds himself thinking that she just looks small.

“You’re ill,” he says, matching her matter-of-fact tone.

“Yes, and?” Her eyes narrow, unfocused, and she inhales an uneven breath, then another. She ducks to the side with a horribly gruff sneeze, snatching the collar of her cloak up to meet her face as she shudders forward with the force of it. “ihh- hheh-! hHT’CHHUHshh!”

“And tea serves the dual purpose of perhaps offering some relief while also coaxing you away from your paperwork.” Hubert gives a small sigh, still looking stoic. “I should admonish you for working late in such a state.”

She scoffs, the watery phlegm crackling in her airways making her sound far more pitiful than disdainful, much to her chagrin. Wincing, she snuffles and rubs at her nose through the fabric. When she clears her throat, it does absolutely nothing for her wrecked voice. “As if you’re not guilty of the same.”

“Unlike you, I possess the sense not to work myself sick.”

“If you say so.” Knowing the man’s work-life balance (or lack thereof), Monica finds that statement highly unlikely. If she weren't so sick, she’d call him out for it, but she can’t quite muster the energy to get worked up over it at the moment. Another chill shakes through her, and it occurs to her that she’d much rather be sitting than standing, and a warm drink really does sound nice. She swallows thickly and glances away. “Anyway, I, um, I won’t say no to tea. If you’re offering.”

“That is why I’m here, yes,” Hubert says with a hint of levity, handing her a cup.

She gratefully accepts it, the deliciously warm ceramic prickling her cold fingertips. The rising steam causes her nose to run a bit more than it already was, but she revels in its gentle heat. “You said there was something you wanted to —” she pauses to sniffle, and exhales a tired, drippy guhh. “— to discuss?”

~~~

The two sit beside a small fire, tucked away at the edge of the base camp. On any other day, Monica would have simply invited Hubert to join her in her quarters, but she can’t imagine she’d be able to keep this damn cold to herself in such a small enclosed space, so this will have to do.

“Were you unwell when we marched on Magdred this morning?” He asks, settling down on a fallen log once he’s convinced he’s fed the fire enough wood to sustain itself. The flames dance, bathing them both in a warm glow amidst the dusky woods.

She shakes her head. “What, would you expect me to delay our troops because of a sore throat? I simply did what was necessary.” Monica takes a careful sip of her tea. Swallowing hurts, but it warms her from the inside out. Although her senses are too dulled to get a good handle on the flavor, she finds the tea has a distinct, earthy quality. It reminds her of simpler days spent hunting in the mountainous woodlands scattered about inland Ochs territory.

“And last night?” Hubert raises an eyebrow.

“I thought it was just exhaustion and nerves, at that point. We’d been marching all day, after all.” Smoke from the fire makes her sinuses burn, prompting her to retreat further into her cloak with a watery sniff, almost like a turtle into its shell.

“For someone so perceptive, you certainly posses an impressive lack of self-awareness.” He tilts his head with a slight smirk. “Perhaps if you didn’t so frequently find yourself flush with rage or affection, you wouldn’t struggle to tell apart fatigue from fever.”

She glowers. “Perhaps if you grew flush with rage every now and again, you wouldn’t have the complexion of a coffin-dweller.” Smoke catches in her throat as she speaks, completely stripping the insult of any teeth it may have had otherwise. She muffles a few weary coughs against her collar, causing a bit of mess to spill from her nose and create another dark patch on the fabric.

Hubert exhales a dry laugh. In spite of everything, it’s good to see that she’s at least well enough to quip back. “Well, there’s nothing to be done for it now. But do try to be more conscientious of your limits.”

Monica narrows her eyes with a sniff. “I know very well how hard I can push myself, thank you.” As if to deny her claim, the irritation in her airways causes her breath to hitch. Her eyes squint shut and her face contorts into an expression somewhere between a grimace and a snarl. She snaps forward with a desperate and distressingly sick-sounding sneeze, frantically aimed at the fabric resting atop her shoulders. She’d meant to stifle, but there’s only so much one can do when attempting to restrain such a forceful sneeze hands-free. She fumbles her cup of tea, spilling a bit in the process.

“And yet I can’t help but find your form as of late to be rather... rash.” Hubert turns his eyes back to the fire, not wishing for his gaze to be a source of further embarrassment for his stricken companion.

The gesture does not go unnoticed, and she’s grateful for it. The space between her nose and lips is slick, and a string of glistening mess dangles precariously from her septum to her cloak before falling against her chest. She instinctively snuffles, and immediately regrets doing so, as it produces a horribly soupy sound and reignites the burning itch. She hastily sets her tea aside and clutches at her collar with steepled hands, trembling with a flurry of quick, audibly damp breaths, until —

“ihheH- hH’KSSCH’ue! …hh? …hht’KSSCH’uhh!”

The second sneeze rends her throat, leaving her airways and collar absolutely drenched. With a small, exhausted groan, she allows herself just a brief moment of feeling sorry for herself before tending to her nose. She’s soaked through the fabric in her hands, and finds herself wondering if she needs to worry about running out of cloak. After finding a suitably dry spot, Monica draws a handful of cloak to her face and begins cleaning herself up. The stinging sensation of dry fabric against slick, inflamed skin makes her wince. “How so?”

“Lady Edelgard tells me you’ve had quite the talent for fire magic since you were young, and I must agree. The army would be remiss without a skilled mage such as yourself to set enemy strongholds ablaze.”

If she were alone, Monica would have blown her nose by now, but the thought of doing so in front of someone else makes her stomach twist in a knot. Clearly, if his unprompted arrival at her tent with tea is anything to go by, she's assaulted Hubert (and the rest of the camp, for that matter) with far too great a volume of sick noises as is. Goddess, she hopes Her Majesty hasn't overheard any of this. Monica settles for gently pinching her nose between the slick fabric, which does, blessedly, remove a decent amount of moisture. She gives a tired sigh, cautiously reaching down to retrieve her tea, almost afraid another sneeze will cause her drop it without warning. “What’re you getting at?”

Hubert gestures to the jet black tome strapped to her hip. “You’ve been teaching yourself ice spells recently. Why?”

“What kind of question is that?” She crinkles her nose. “Sometimes it’s more beneficial to freeze an enemy in place than set them on fire. Anyone can benefit from being more versatile.”

“Is versatility truly your reason, though? The elemental whiplash you must be giving yourself can’t be healthy.” Hubert gives her a knowing look as he raises his coffee to his lips.

Monica stares at him, then looks down at her tea. Assailing an enemy with flames, followed up by an ice spell, is going to inflict more pain than fire alone. That’s her reason. It’s that simple.

“We’ve recently been fighting more of the people who imprisoned Her Majesty and me. The dark mages at Magdred, for example. I...” she pauses with a sharp sniffle, frustrated with this cold, frustrated with Hubert for prompting her to confront one of her more wicked impulses at a time like this, frustrated with herself for being such a deeply bitter person. “I want it to hurt.”

Hubert remains silent and his expression unreadable, much to Monica’s annoyance. She presumes that his lack of reaction means she’s just confirmed something he was already aware of. Goddess, she hates how he seems to know her vices better than she knows them herself.

Finally, he speaks. “I understand.” His voice is low and surprisingly sincere. “Not a day goes by that I don’t lament my failure to protect Her Majesty when it mattered most.”

‘I understand’ is a bit of an unspoken compromise between two people who will never truly see eye to eye. Their ire for Edelgard’s captors is not equivalent, and they both know it. Hubert is cold and calculating, more than able to channel his emotions into neat, underhanded tactics that will serve Her Majesty well. But for Monica, it’s a spiteful, burning hatred that hungers for vengeance. It’s selfish and cruel and everything she wishes she wasn’t.

Hubert continues. “But, for Lady Edelgard’s sake, if not your own, I ask that you don’t do this to yourself. Even the most skilled mages aren’t equipped to deal with recoil from opposing elements. I suspect you’re intimately aware of this fact.”

He’s not wrong, Monica must admit. Ice magic has a way of chilling its caster to the bone, and alternating between fire and ice always leaves her a sniffly mess. It’s caused easily-ignored colds to turn debilitating more times than she’d care to let on. She doesn’t know what to say. She hadn’t expected anyone, let alone Hubert, of all people, to care.

Before she can fully sort out her thoughts, a familiar burning sensation bristles at her sinuses. Her mouth hangs slightly open in uncertainty, brow furrowed, and a small, wavering breath sifts through her teeth. Monica teeters on the precipice for just a moment. Watery mucus drips down one flared nostril, then the other, pooling above her lip. She dares not sniffle, or else —

“ihhh-? hehh- hED’SSHuuh!”

She ducks to the side and clings desperately to her teacup as a half-stifled shivery sneeze seizes her, sending another unfortunate deluge of soupy mess down her face. Goddess, she’s tired. “snndffl. ghuhh. You could say that.”

Once again, she sets aside her tea and takes to tending to her nose. “Look, Hubert, I appreciate the concernd, but I...” she trails off with a congested groan and shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

“Far be it from me to lecture you,” Hubert says, standing from his seat on the log and turning to leave, “but destroying yourself won’t change the past.”

“Where are you going?” Monica looks up at him, confused.

“To fetch my kettle. You’re still shaking, and have just about spilled the last of the tea.”

Pulling her cloak a little tighter around herself, she watches him walk back to his tent. She thinks that perhaps, just this once, he might have a point.

#y'alllllll it's finally FINALLY done!!!!!!#i've been working on this since late july and it went through like three rewrites so I Am Thrilled To Be Done. happy sicktember!#monnie is one of the worst written characters ive ever seen in a video game #she had so much potential to be interesting and the breadcrumbs are certainly there but GOD #the writers hecked the fuck up #thankfully i know how to write her Correctly #the devs just straight up handed us a canon lesbian and said #'she's horribly traumatized and has a ton of ugly emotions simmering below the surface but we're not going to address any of that'#anyway i had a great time writing about these two. monica is just So Much and hubert is hubert [affectionate]#also this has almost nothing to do with this particular fic but you can't tell me that monica doesnt fuck a sneeze okay #the sky is blue. capitalism sucks. mon/ica von o/chs is a sneezefucker. these are immutable truths #the fact that she canonically has a running tally of how many times edel/gard has expressed concern for her health is proof enough #(i looked it up. the tally is at 208 at the time of the cutscene she mentions it)#this woman is unhinged we love to see it #i'd also point to her love for tea (and making tea for edel/gard) if it weren't for the fact that 90% of the cast loves tea #'oh lady edelgard! it's chilly out! would you like some tea? a coat?' girl. honey. i know what you are.#th/ree hou/ses and th/ree ho/pes are such funny games. these bitches really do just swing swords and drink tea all day long #my art #my writing #btw this isn't beta'd so if you see a typo or something that makes no sense please PLEASE tell me

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