#this is honestly barely a parallel but i can't get it out of my head
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Hellraiser: the Toll is dumb AF
You freaks liked my review of The Scarlet Gospels, so I'm here to deliver this short review of another garbage Hellraiser novel while I'm procrastinating with studying for the finals. Spoilers for the entire thing (and some funny fanart) below:
Hellraiser: the Toll is a novella written by Mark E. Miller that serves as a passage between The Hellbound Hearts/Hellraiser movie and The Scarlet Gospels. It sucks harder than a black hole.
Short summary (5 sentences)
Kirsty Cotton is a depressed fucked up person that is running from place to place because she's scared of "The Cold Man" which is a nickname she gave to Pinhead. She gets a letter from some random theology professor and decides to go visit The Devil's Island in French Guiana where she's told the Cenobite would wait for her. She goes to a hotel kept by an old lady and a butler named Walter, the old lady is skinned alive and the butler tries to kill Kirsty, but she smacks his face with a hammer and kills him. Then she enters the jungle prison on the Devil's Island and meets Pinhead, they chat, then argue, then start a fight which ends by Kirsty smashing his face with a hammer and taking out one of his nails. She returns home and keeps the nail in a jar on her night stand.
Endlessly confused plot
I honestly can't tell what universe does this book describe. It's a mashup of "The Hellbound Heart" and Hellraiser movie, but the second movie is not cannon, which is very weird. The author basically picked and chose whatever random thing he liked and made a senseless mashup. One of the worst things about it is the same fucking issue with the Boom! comics and that is that Kirsty hates Pinhead because he "killed her father and ruined her family". Which is pure bullshit from every angle. In "The Hellbound Heart", Cenobites only killed Frank and Julia and let her go. In Hellraiser, they also killed Frank and Julia and she barely escaped. Her father was killed by FUCKING FRANK. Pinhead didn't ruin Kirsty's family, Frank did. I don't think that Kirsty would hold any ill intent towards the Cenobites, in fact, in Hellraiser 2 she objectively doesn't. She wanted to save them for fuck's sake. And they all gave their lives for her. I really have no idea why would she have any reasons to hate Pinhead, but oh well.
Pinhead acts like a whiny little child
Seriously, what the fuck is with these books and assassination of Pinhead's character? Why the FUCK is he depicted as narcissistic, misogynistic motherfucker, when he couldn't be further from it? Also, why does he use his fists to fight Kirsty when he can summon chains with hooks by will and also has like 12 butchering knives hanging from his belt? The worst part is probably the dialogue, especially when he says "Jesus wept", like, come on, that's the dumbest thing I've ever read. Does the motherfucker who wrote this think that Frank and Pinhead have any parallels? Because if he does, he needs a hit on his head with a hammer, just to reset his brain.
Hell is shit - literally
The description of Hell in this book is even dumber than in Scarlet Gospels. It says that the floor in Hell is made of shit. And there's a hole and people in Hell worship the hole and throw babies in it. Like, what the fuck. Also, I fucking hate the fact that he described Cenobites as foul smelling. Do your research, motherfucker, they smell like vanilla! There is some stench of rot beneath, but nobody in the entire franchise never had the urge to vomit when they were close to the Cenobites, so it can't be strong. I don't know how did the author of this garbage come to the idea that Cenobites smell like shit and that Hell is made of shit, but it's literally like how a 13 year old would describe it. I don't know what is the reason, but maybe, just maybe, straight men have much different interpretation of what Cenobites are compared to queer women like myself.
Stuff I liked
There was one scene where a demon was running in the rain screaming FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK! until he was struck by lightning. I laughed my ass off with that.
The fact that Kirsty kept the nail she knocked out of Pinhead's face by her bedside was so cute. Like, this book has some shipping, but it fucking sucks. Mostly because both Pinhead and Kirsty are very much out of character. But keeping the nail was definitely in character for her lol.
Overall, this entire book could be summed up by this illustration:
The Toll sucks. It doesn't suck as much as Scarlet Gospels, and, thank Goddess, it's only 40 pages long. But it still sucks. It ruins both Pinhead and Kirsty and their relationship and it's definitely not worth your time. If you want good stories about the Hell Priest and his human crush, go to AO3, there are many of superior quality.
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top5 puentalay kisses/hugs?
im pretty late with this but i would never pass up a chance to be annoying about vice versa so here we go!!!!!!! (also im not sure if i was supposed to pick only one of the two but again I SIMPLY CANNOT PASS UP A CHANCE TO BE ANNOYING ABOUT VICE VERSA IM SORRY)
TOP 5 PUENTALAY KISSES
1. greyllery kiss in episode 8. this is their first mutual kiss after two one-sided kisses, three almost kisses, three cheek kisses, and one forehead kiss. not to mention the hugs, the cuddles, the promises, the sleeping in the same bed, the taking a bath together, and i could go on but imma stop here before i get involuntary committed. we waited so long for this kiss and when it finally happened it was everything we could have ever asked for and MORE: the confession, the music, the parallels with the glasshouse kiss, the fact that it happens when the lights are out because they love each other for who they really are and not for the body they inhabit, puen's single tear......IT'S PERFECT.
2. glasshouse kiss in episode 4. i know having a one-sided kiss for second place doesn't seem fair but in my defense this kiss makes me go through such a plethora of human emotions that i feel like i need to go lay in the dirt for several hours to climb down from the sheer manic unhinged rabid energies that got me going on. y’all must be tired of hearing me say the same things over and over again about this kiss but. the build up!!!!!! the emotions!!!!!! the music!!!!!! IM NOT EVEN KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU THIS KISS IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE.
3. beach kiss in our skyy episode 2. our skyy may have given us only one kiss but WHAT A KISS IT WAS. it feels like a sum of all their previous ones, the cycle closing with a recollection of the past and a promise for the future, as the kiss itself lets us know that no matter what's gonna happen from that moment on, they will always love each other like the very first day. and if the reminder of the drunk kiss in episode 2 wasn’t enough to drive this point across, the song they used during this scene is the same as the one they played during the greyllery kiss, which you know. [FEMALE HYSTERIA]
4. foggy glasses kiss in episode 12. honestly can't think of any other scene in television history that was able to so perfectly portray a fictional character being left breathless, lightheaded, and weak at the knees by a kiss. the way puen is holding talay's head with BOTH OF HIS HANDS to keep talay in place which barely gives talay any time to take a breath...... the way they're so close and entangled in each other that you can barely tell where one starts and the other ends...........this kiss literally be turning both me and talay into the 🥴 emoji every single time.
5. reunion kiss in episode 11. it was a tough choice between this one and the bathtub kiss in episode 10, but in the end i had to go with their first kiss in their real bodies, not just because of this, but because there's so much love and comfort and reassurance packed in it. this kiss is the meeting of two souls who have missed and found each other again. it's the promise of being together for the rest of their life AND I FEEL SO NORMAL ABOUT IT IT’S HONESTLY INSANE HOW NORMAL AND HINGED AND SANE AND FINE I FEEL ABOUT IT.
TOP 5 PUENTALAY HUGS
1. reunion hug in episode 11. LITERALLY THEE SINGLE MOST SCENE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION IT CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF MY LIFE THE FOUNDATION OF MY PERSONHOOD AND THE CHEMICAL MAKE UP OF MY BRAIN. puen says "you must be very tired. from now on, things will be okay," and that's exactly the feeling this hug conveys: everything will be fine, you're home now.
2. comfort hug in episode 6. my grasp on the english language is too limited to even attempt to put into words what this hug did to me the first time i've watched it. it made me mentally deranged in ways so profound they will only become apparent years down the line. to this day there are people out there wondering why talay even likes puen and the urge to shove this scene under their nose is immeasurable. FIND YOURSELF A PARTNER WHO WILL LISTEN TO YOUR FEARS, GIVE YOU COMFORT, AND HUG YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT TO MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE!!!!!!! (@GOD ME WHEN)
3. reconciliation hug in episode 7. I NEEDED THIS HUG JUST AS MUCH AS PUEN DID TBH. talay initiating any kind of physical affection always feels incredibly special and precious, and it is so much more here because this is him finally realizing that puen's feelings are sincere. this hug is the turning point of their relationship as talay implicitly accepts puen's love and confesses his own. it’s just so emotionally satisfying [SOBS]
4. back hug in episode 12 and in our skyy episode 1. LOOK I KNOW IM CHEATING BUT. THE DOMESTICITY THE COMFORT THE TENDERNESS THE AFFECTION THE ADORATION THE SOFTNESS THE WARMTH THE PARALLELISM THE ROMANTICISM THE SOULMATISM THE TRUE LOVISM OF IT ALL. YEARS LATER THEY'RE STILL THE SAME.
5. hourglass hug in episode 12. the hourglass with the sand that doesn’t fall!!!!!!! i don't want time to go by without you!!!!!!! from this moment on it's you and me!!!!!!! ‘city’ playing in the background!!!!!!! the moon watching over them!!!!!!! WAILING WEEPING HOWLING SCREECHING CRYING SOBBING SCREAMING--
#sorry again for the late reply and thank you so much for asking!!!!!!#hope you're having a wonderful day!!!!!! 💜💜💜#vice versa#puentalay#my top 5#m: ask
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Windwalker but it's a de-aging plot where Mace gets turned into his 18yo self and he and 18yo Anakin are forced to hang out while The Real Adults focus on reversing this.
Mace has no idea why this random padawan hates him, what did future him do? Anakin's dislike and frustration is petty and born at least somewhat of jealousy right now. They spar a lot and Anakin's used to being the best in his age group and now he's Losing.
They spar more in private.
They end up making out on the salle floor.
They share I'm The Angry Kid That People Worry About thoughts and Mace bullies (flirts) Anakin into meditating with him, properly.
Obi-Wan and Depa need All The Drinks to forget what they've seen.
I CAN FOIL THEM, YOUR HONOR
@bytebun and I were losing our minds about PARALLELS yesterday so that was fun.
Anakin 🤝 mace parallels
Like honestly isn’t mace the or one of the youngest ppl to join the council. Anakin is MAD jealous
In the sense of… obi-wan is too far away in terms of like, age and experience and such to be jealous of. But an 18 yr old mace….
They are so similar and so different
And anakin can see exactly where he’s lacking - exactly why this boy went on to be what he is
But also mace is very down to make friends, so like. Agshsjsk
I also hold to the idea of 15yo Anakin having a Rage Crush on middle-aged council member Mace Windu that he only barely managed to keep secret.
Mace: We should be friends r--
Anakin: FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON
Masters just casually not saying anything abt padawan crushes because glass houses, thrown stones etc
POOR MACE
: ( gotta find out qui-gon is dead, too….
HE HAS NO IDEA WHY THIS GUY DOESN'T LIKE HIM
At least Plo is there, even if he's old and keeps treating Mace like a youngling. (He's not that old, he's just very keen on teasing the baby of the friend group)
Obi-Wan is having all the "Anakin why are you LIKE THIS" moments.
Like Is this better than the decade-long crush on Amidala? Obi-Wan GENUINELY CAN'T TELL.
Obi-wan is just. Its mace! I mean it’s MACE! That’s like! That’s!
Depa, wailing: that’s my DAD
They collectively decide to never speak of this again.
Except it keeps happening agshskslsl
It happens SO MUCH.
Obi-Wan already had to deal with the Ferus phase (so many sullied broom closets), now THIS?
Yoda thinks this fling is good for both of the hot-headed young ones.
#Windwalker#de aging#mace windu#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#depa billaba#star wars#phoenix posts
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Sorry if I'm late but ⭐
if you're late, I'm later! But let's do a director's cut on the final little scene of part 20 of tfs. Obviously a climactic and pivotal scene, but I'm not actually that satisfied with it. So maybe talking through the choices I made will help me feel a bit better about it.
Maedhros silhouetted in the opening of the cave, his height unmistakeable.
The last time they met like this, Maedhros did not know him. He had his hand curled around his knife-hilt even as they spoke.
that whole stabbing thing was so traumatic for both of them.
"He's gone," Maglor gasps out. "I'm sorry."
"You're here," Maedhros says, his tone reverent. He drops to his knees beside Maglor, gathering him into his arms.
"reverent" was a loaded and deliberate word choice here. Maedhros adores Maglor ok. Much more than is healthy.
I... kind of forgot to work the parallel in more explicitly, but also: Maedhros has held a dying brother in his arms very very recently. And he is absolutely trying not to think of Celegorm now.
"Nelyo," says Maglor, "I'm so cold." He lays his head on Maedhros' shoulder and goes very still.
Maglor's worsenings in condition have been marked by his feeling very cold the whole time. Hopefully this is vaguely medically accurate, but more importantly it turned out to be a Motif, so every time Maglor complains of the cold the reader was hopefully getting concerned.
If Maedhros holds him too tight, will his brother break into a hundred pieces in his arms? But has not Maedhros killed him already?
Maedhros has internalised this slightly weird notion that he has literally killed Maglor - despite Fingon's best efforts to remind him that Maglor is still alive - and repeats the phrase "I killed him" so many times that it was intended to almost be slightly annoying. Something about despair and always seeing the worst-case scenario and how harmful it can be: if Maedhros can't get it through his head that there's still hope for Maglor, Maglor will die.
"I know, Káno," Maedhros says, voice shaking. "I am sorry."
Maglor's eyes are open, but his gaze is distant, his breathing very slow.
This is Maedhros' doing. Maedhros has killed him.
What right has he to ask anything of Maglor now?
and there it is. If he doesn't ask, Maglor will die. But he doesn't think he has the right to ask. Honestly this is the bit I'm really not that satisfied with. I think I could have made the conversation longer, and explored what they're both thinking more explicitly; although it was a conscious decision not to, on the basis that Maglor really doesn't have the energy for a long emotional conversation at this stage.
"You said," he says tremulously, "you said if I asked you to stay, you'd stay."
look nobody noticed my favourite line from part 19 when I wrote it BUT I wrote it deliberately setting up for this moment and it is IMPORTANT. the central trauma!! in their relationship!! is about leaving each other!! "ask me to stay and I'll stay" sums it all up!!
also "tremulously" is a small callback to the parting scene in part 19 when it's used to describe Maglor's speech instead.
"But you sent me away," Maglor whispers, barely audible – Maglor, who was named for his strength of voice.
Maedhros can almost see his spirit flickering.
"I am sorry," he says again. "But I am asking now. Will you stay, dearest? For me?"
look he did it! he asked! well done, Maedhros. also "dearest" which as we know I am a bit feral about.
Maglor can never deny Maedhros anything.
"Yes," he breathes, "yes."
the thing is that Maglor keeps his promises. He said "ask me to stay and I'll stay" and he followed. through.
In a way this moment is much more about Maglor than it is about Maedhros - because as I've rambled earlier, Maedhros ends part 20 with his life pretty much in shambles and most of his plotlines unresolved. But what he does do in this entire final sequence is realise the ways in which he... hasn't necessarily been as good a brother to Maglor as he could have been, and takes steps to fix that. He tells Maglor I need you during the telepathic-searching thing - exactly what Maglor needed to hear - and now he follows through, asking Maglor to stay, and calling him dearest, very explicitly reaffirming how much he loves Maglor. This is a resolution of sorts for Maglor, much more than for Maedhros.
Also, "Maglor can never deny Maedhros anything" has been repeated a couple of times throughout the fic - so here it is again at the climactic moment.
A flicker, and another, and a steadying.
Maedhros stays there on his knees for a while, until his brother has slipped back into sleep.
The lines of pain on his face are easing.
Maedhros can hear the sound of water from a distant stream, and a bird cawing outside in the sunshine where Fingon is waiting for him, with all his shining strength and boundless faith.
"the sound of water from a distant stream" is exactly what Maglor noticed when he woke up alone in the cave - but now things are a bit better! there are birds! happy times!! also Maedhros' constant awareness of Fingon who is SO IMPORTANT.
No fortress. No followers. Still only one Silmaril, clasped now between their hands.
Celegorm dead, and Curufin lost.
But there is this: there is Maglor in his arms, breathing.
Maedhros presses his face into his brother's hair and breathes, too.
Actually felt like... quite a bold way to end in a way? It isn't a cliffhanger, which is already pretty unusual for tfs, and also it ends on this very quiet little moment instead of anything plotty or suspenseful. But I like the deliberate softness of the image a lot - it's very vivid in my mind - and I am actually quite satisified with that final line.
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I'm a terrible human being but at least we're making our way through the island.
You know, I wasn't sure about Windmill Shuriken but it's growing on me.
It's a killer traversal tool as well as a potent weapon in its own right.
Getting a definite Boss Room Ahead vibe from this setup. Tiki Shopkeeper, you have anything to say about what I'm about to face?
Nothing?
Huh. Maybe I misread the--
Okay, fuck you too, I guess! I can't believe this! I rely on her to give me useful information about bosses! What a fucking prick.
Maybe she just. Like. Doesn't do that in this timeline or something. Or she's mad. Can't imagine what I could have said to piss off Tiki Shopkeeper that badly, though.
Whatever. I slew the Dweller of Strife singlehandedly; At least, that's how I'm choosing to remember it. I can manage this!
These barely even count as attacks. Honestly, it's like you want to face the wrath of my ultimate technique:
Your harmless little tiki heads are NO MATCH for an endless barrage of twirly-doos! I am the twirly-doo champion, and I'm going to do pirouettes on your face until you're nothing but a pile of kindling! What do you say about THAT, huh!?
....
....
....
(;° ロ°)
OH FUCK ME
Okay. So. In my haste for triumph and glory, I. Uh. May. Have. Misconstrued your ritualistic totem levitations as... something that they was not.
I am a big enough man to admit when a misunderstanding has taken place and a tragic mistake has been committed. You're right. It's pretty clear where the fault for this lies.
Tiki Shopkeeper. It's Tiki Shopkeeper's fault. She... She, uh.... She said....
...nothing. She said absolutely nothing about an upcoming Boss Fight. Because no Boss Fight was upcoming.
...I... assaulted and batteried you, and destroyed your personal property... for absolutely no reason at all.
...
Hold up, what was that about a volcano erupting?
Barrel Thyme, that's what that smell was! Thanks, pal. So the plan is to fuck him up again, save the Phobekins, and then enjoy a pleasant vacation on whatever mysterious island this place is.
Glad there's no hard feelings, pal. I'd hate for a small misunderstanding like this to get in the way of us becoming the best of pals!
I'm so glad they're taking it well. I like to think that I'm a pretty great guy once you get to know me. Like an acquired taste! And I wouldn't want them to miss out on the opportunity.
Anyways... apparently this island has a volcano. We should take a look at the map and make sure we have a good idea of where we're going.
Alright. Voodkin Island's not as big as I thought it'd be. So if Bartleby's plan is to jump me at the ritual then he should be right around the rim of the....
...of the....
Hold up.
Is this Kiln Mountain!? This super looks like the volcano where the great continental bread loaf was baked.
That's not what he called it. The hint is in its utility: That it's a kiln. But I'm still convinced that this is the same mountain.
...so does your shop exist in a parallel reality Tower of Time, or is there only one Tower of Time and we're just in a different room next door to Arcane Shopkeeper's room?
Because I could believe either.
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Let's talk about Indigo
I absolutely loved Indigo by Kim Namjoon a.k.a RM-- the poet who speaks of dreams and personalities and philosophies that I never hear of until it comes from him.
Bear in mind, this will absolutely be long and full of unbridled love for Namjoon.
Track no 1-- Yun
This feels like Namjoon's thoughts on being an artist that comes at the crossroads of being purely artist with no obligations to humanity, and an artist that is flawed-- yet does not let go of humanity. A sleek, slow rap song with the gorgeous vocals of Erykah Badu's chorus that breathes spirituality into the lyrics. A song of beige visuals-- a color that is meek in presentation, but bare in its beliefs.
Track no 2-- Still Life.
First of all, the MV is a refreshing feat. The use of Liminal spaces without too many tacky or glittery decorations, gives more breathing space to the groove of this song. It's a song where Namjoon screams to the screen that one thing he'll never be is a passive person. A canvas can't contain, his own reflection cannot contain his actions-- he hops along and dances and vibes. The song has the potential to be a party song, or a hang-out song-- it's a song that makes you and your friends feel invincible. Anderson Paak's vocals give a lighter contrast to Namjoon's deep voice, and helps adding onto what Namjoon is trying to say. Oh Namjoon, you sure know how to pick 'em.
Track no 3-- All day
Namjoon and Tablo speak on two parallel enemies here-- but largely it's the bad faith media. According to doolsetbangtan, "They show cool people dancing in cool clothes, when in real life there are more people with two left feet" is a translation of one of the lines in Namjoon's verse. To Namjoon, misrepresentation annoys him. To Tablo, the subjugation to what is popularised annoys him. Both are valid reasons why they are annoyed with the media.From Namjoon's words and work being misrepresented on the media, to Tablo facing the massive hate train due to online haters because they felt he was lying about his education. The electric song however, stays strong above from getting too angry. Namjoon and Tablo realises that they see things through, and as a result, they must keep their heads above the water from muddling their music. And just like that, we get a bop ya'll.
Track no 4- Forg_tful
This might be a bit of a TMI (I'm honestly so embarrassed even saying this out loud just in case no one actually reads this)-- but sometimes my anxiety and my depressive thoughts do make me forget a lot of things. This song feels a representation of that. It's a song that asks for forgiveness because the speaker is trying-- they are trying so hard but demons still persist. Memory is a frighteningly becoming a privilege. First thing Namjoon does is re-affirm his age-- he's still young, and yet he feels so guilty. The simple acoustic of the song can make it sound light and not as memorable as its previous tracks, but it's a moment for Namjoon to acknowledge certain aspects of his life. And by god, I cannot tell enough how validated I feel by this track.
Track no 5-- Closer
Visual representation of this track-- fingers clawing at sheets with yearning. The smooth track sounds sensuous but it's also the speaker getting frustrated. They are at wit's end on how to get closer to their lover. How in hell can they show how much love overflows in them? Mahalia and Paul Blanco work as great collaborators on this as they help Namjoon weave an atmosphere to this story. It's a slight cheeky song at times, but underneath it all, is the simmering coals on the speaker's desire to feel the overflow of love from their lover too.
Track no 6-- Change pt 2
A sardonic hyper-pop track. Namjoon hates being boxed. He's not the same person he was a while ago, and he hates that nobody lets him change. Towards the end of the song, there's a slight indication of him condemning another person-- basically challenging them that they would have to live a life knowing that they never would love someone like how Namjoon does. Again TMI, but this sort of reminds me of my friendship with someone during my teenager years The friendship wasn't on basis of mutual respect, and became toxic. Once I left, and I changed for the better, my ex-best friend, even though she got the friends she always wanted, loved to remind me how different I was when I was with her. It was a sarcastic and bitter jab. I of course, can't assume the nature of the relationship between Namjoon and the person he is addressing, but I love how I understood this song from a personal angle.
Track no 7-- Lonely
This song was written in Vegas this year, when Namjoon felt lonely in his hotel. I love the neon-lights this song emanates. It's full of clicks and whistles-- the sound of someone just making sounds for the sake of making sounds cuz they can't stand the silence. I can almost hear Namjoon fidgeting just for the sake of passing the time. The line-- "and now I hate the cities I don't belong"-- makes me feel the speaker used to enjoy visiting cities purely as a tourist, but now, he feels the lack of belonging even more and abhors it.
Track no 8- Hectic
This sort of feels like a shout out to his previous song from mono-- Seoul. Namjoon claims his busy life isn't romantic, but the city pop rhythm of the song confuses the listeners into thinking he's singing something magical-- a trap he leaves to show much of a victim we could be to the idea that life of a busybody is more fun than a life of someone who's quiet. This song reminds of late night drives through the busiest parts of the city, where you are stuck in traffic and can't help but observe the people around you who are impatient to get where time dictates them to go.
Track no 9- Wildflower
this song is an allegory to a certain kind of life that Namjoon wants to live as for years. He's explosive in his exhales here, and those exhales get pumped up more thanks to the power vocals of Youjeen who belts into the mic the need to scatter into the sky. The song having the same intro and outdo signifies a full circle that rests as a crown on Namjoon's vision and plans for himself. The song makes me feel emotional (almost every single track from this album does tbh), but this one is the cathartic track. It's Namjoon finally leaving behind the guilt and pursuing for a better health of his mind, his career, and his self.
Track no 10- No 2
Funny thing, but this song sounds like a lullaby being sung by two parents sshvhsdvh. It's a slow acoustic again, but unlike forg_tful, it has a lot more strobe. After wildflower, it's the calmer end, a wistful end. "My felony" rhyming with "melody". This is a song where Namjoon tells to himself that yeah you are regretful of your interviews, of the boxes you have been caged in, of all the commitments you may have forgotten, but you have survived. You maybe cringing or embarrassed by your younger self, but that was because the young you was just trying to survive. It's best to no look back, and just acknowledge that those were the steps that you needed to take to get where you are today.
In all, Indigo feels like a very fully realised album made with care and discretion. I love the sound of it, the colors it exudes, the exciting new artists it introduced me to-- everything. Namjoon bared his soul for this, and yet, does not look back. I don't think anyone will read this extra long ramble piece, I am after all still new to Tumblr, but hey! No looking back, remember?
#Namjoon#Kim Namjoon#Indigo#Indigo by Namjoon#RM#BTS#Bangtan Boys#Rapper#namjin#namgi#taejoon#namseok#namkook#lyrics#lyricism#mental health#anderson paak#erykah badu#youjeen#Paul blanco#minimoni#mahalia#music#songwriting#Kim sawol#park jiyoon#jungkook#yoongi#hoseok#seokjin
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I FINISHED SEASON 2 OF VOLTRON
OKAY SO SO SO that was a WILD season and the showdown in the last 2 episodes? it was so dramatic and deserved. Really interesting to see the mages(?) get more screentime (though barely) because they are so funky. what are they doing why are they there. but anyways like last time I'lll put the rest below xD
BACK ABOUT THE MAGES. I don't remember their names but the head mage gives off "puppeteering-everything-from-the-background" vibes. I wouldn't be surprised if they turned out to be the real mastermind behind it all. Like if the magic was used to corrupt some minds and help build the empire. Although I don't know what that would do to the world building?
Shiro. WHERE DID SHIRO GO. Like they went HARD on Shiro this season. He's trying his best but life keeps attacking him. The mind battles he has are super cool and WOW this man can fight. but also Shiro do you ever sleep. does he sleep. does he believe in self care. I don't think he's ever heard of sleep before.
Pidge gives off some of the vibes of Haruhi from OHHC. They both have similar genders. Love how she gets time to shine at the tech planet!
Hunk being a master chef is cool, especially considering he's probably never seen any of those ingredients before. Still kinda disappointing that they made 3/4 of his personality food. I also think he'd be good at hugs lol
Keith my man are you okay?? I'm getting vibes of orphan club which like same xD. But also now that Shiro is gone Keith is probably going to have to take over? The red lion has shown to act independently so if Keith takes over the black lion then they could still form voltron? (the black lion has show to not care as mucha bout who's in it, at least compared to the red lion.
ALSO the red lion acting independently feels kind of like a parallel to hyper-vigilance. Keith doesn't feel safe often so his lion is always on guard and ready to protect, unlike a lot of people who generally don't have such a hyperactive "I must protect myself at all costs" mentality. It's the constantly engaged survival instincts you honour
Love how lance is just some guy. I am not invested in him and I feel like he would not be invested in me if we ever met xD. Love how he's just some guy while Shiro has gone through insurmountable psychological and physical trauma. he's just there.
THE MERMAID ADVENTURE WAS SUPER NEAT. LOVE HOW THE QUEEN DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BE BAD (maybe? it felt a little rushed when it got to that point). The suspense of figuring out what was causing the mind control was pretty neat. Also the giant worm beast was living it's life. technically wasn't decimating the mermaid population so.. (joking joking I just really liked its design)
Black lion trust battles are super cool. But I gotta say the black lion has like, reverse trust issues. please just stop trying to pick the genocidal dictator that keeps killing millions of people. please. Though it does make me wonder if part of the reason the black lion accepted Shiro so fast was because Shiro reminded the black lion of the previous paladin? With the arm and vibes and everything?
Coran is growing on me. he's just built like that and honestly good for him. He's like a space dad. Also emo Coran is great, might be a heavy stereotype but you know what we can ignore that and let him own it. Give him back that haircut. Also how he speaks sometimes makes me think that he's not from the same planet Allura is? Like maybe he's from a sister planet of a species that evolved extremely similar but not identical. Because he can't do everything Allura can. UNLESS Allura can do it because she's a princess whichhhh eh. It's cool for her but also tiring to see the whole "royal families are good and deserve their positions because they are inherently more special and valuable" sort of message.
ALLURA. QUEEN. SHE IS FLEXING HER POWER AND I SUPPORT HER ON THAT ENDEAVOUR. She was being mean to Keith but all things considering I can understand her hesitance considering everything. Stills sucks that Keith had to go through her projections. but also DAMN when she blends in to sneak onto the ship I loved seeing her fight. like her fighting style there was literally "what if I just slam everything together". I love that for her
also Keith being only half(?) human is really cool but WOW the team was not very understanding. Just let the guy be. He's trying his best but he also needs time to process and adapt. And I don't think he adapted too well if his first(ish) reaction to being part galra was to throw himself into enemy ships and nearly die AGAIN
red lion going feral is cool. Love how it has a stronger personality compared to the others, but it makes the other lions seem less powerful? not powerful perse but more so they get almost kidnapped a lot more and don't really do anything about it while the red lion will fight for its own freedom.
ANYWHO I should probably go watch the third season because I MUST know where Shiro went. is he okay <- judging by his character he is one of the MOST least okay characters.
#voltron#voltron legendary defender#again I need to say the show is animated SO WELL. It looks so cool#It's pretty good so far. visuals are stunning but the story writing is a little weak at some points?#BUT they do not skip out on the world(s?) building#I am so thrilled that they showed a non-humanoid species of aliens be highly intelligence because I am tired of#humanoid/human-like centric alien designs.#humans aren't that special. aliens shouldn't have to be like humans because humans are not some sort of special monolith of epicness#<- cue me being a very autistic child trying to ask my teacher why people sometimes talk about animals as if humans#aren't technically animals also#and getting in trouble for it multiple times -_-#I still am confused ngl. humans are animals right? so why should huimans be treated more special than other creatures?#BUT that could be a ramble all of its own SO TLDR Love the range in alien designs#love the mech fights and visuals and everything#it's a super cool show thanks for the recommendation Loz!
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rewatching PotD properly let's gooo
"is there anyone out there" "yes." This was hot
"what am I doing, I've got a date to get to" is Dan talking ABT Diane ???
The idea of doing an EP about just the cyber TLs would be so interesting imo ajdkkfdjks... Like they're not converted humans but that's their whole deal usually so like....
"don't get shot" *Dan gets shot* prime comedy
"don't lose my sonic" patronising 13 i hate u
Did anyone else expect Dan to turn evil here the way he hesitated over the controls? XD
The alien shows them what they want right ???? Why does the doctor see a random kid?
"I'm the doctor I'm going to protect you" "the doctor lies" lmao
Ive seen people say like. The train CGI the painting CGI is rlly bad but honestly I can never notice but I don't rlly have eyes for that sort of thing
Ace and Tegan Skype friends <3 the ending should have been like this w all the companions where they're all just swapping adventure stories rather than the support group thing
"should we pick u up again in 24hrs" so Dan is on and off the TARDIS at this point ??? Having dates ??? Assuming w Diane but the only person we see him w in the rest of te EP is Graham so I mean....
"Yaz u and I can see where the cyber masters took that child" so... Yaz saw it as a kid too? Did I mishear the line ABT it looking how u want
"it's not my life" hmm I buy that BC we saw his life before of pretending to b the museum guide and helping out at the food bank and stuff he's a community guyTM sure hate that this is so weirdly rushed less i guess "I can attack it now because I've been with you" I buy less lmao... He's had no growth at all??? Also the way it's framed like he's talking to the doc is so odd when he spent more time w Yaz (unless they've been travelling for more than 3 years ???)
The doctor saying "homes important" just makes me HOWL tho ngl
"I'll b kipping on mum and dads sofa tonight" .... Where have u been sleeping all the other 24 hr breaks youve appaz been dropped off for ???
"not one for goodbyes" idk I buy that w 13 we saw the whole "one happy one sad" the hug goodbye for Ryan and graham
...so why can't 13 tell yaz about this traitor dalek??
also the concept of a dalek realising theyve strayed from their og mission does actually kind of slap but we did just see daleks v daleks in revolution so i'm glad this wasnt the main plot again
sacha dhawans acting<3<3
the scene where he looks in the tsarina (?)'s eyes and he's like "are my eyes not full of certainty" and u see him reflected in her eyes.... SICK. have they mentioned the master is kind of hypnotic yet in this era before this?
where are the dhawan telling the tsar to take a holiday vs donna telling caecilius and family to take a holiday in pompeii parallels.
are they saying dhawan master replaced rasputin nd made an alt universe with this cyberplanet in the sky? or is there some historical note about there being something in the sky at that time (?)
i love that the doctor and yaz both barely react to the hahahahahhaha tardis there's no like. wtf. moment they just head straight in.
i think it would have been sweet for 13 to stroke one of its panels and be like "oh shes not mine." nodding to that theyre telepathic!! but we seem to have forgotten that this era 😔.... i feel this generally in this era the relationship between the doctor and the tardis has been lacking actually like apart from ghost monument and spyfall we barely see them interact... i know its not always a Thing but man i loved 11 & the tardis' relationship so much i'd love to see a writer feature it more again 🥺
ive seen some people claiming yaz reads gallifreyan off the screen in the tardis. that would be cool but 100% you can recognise readings u can tell what data/readings are without labels necessarily like i can go into a car and look at a speedo and i dont need numbers on it to know what the readings mean yk?? either way it does speak a lot to teh familiarity she's got with the tardis and i <3<3 ... yaz and the tardis' growth is fun to think about. do you think she was grumpy that yaz was hanging out with the other tardis on earth in revolution ? XD
DOCTOR: Ah, there's a rudimentary cloaking shield in operation. Soon fix that. The Cybermen have tethered that child into this planet. It was registering as an energy source.
YASMIN: How is that child an energy source?
DOCTOR: Wait, there's more layers to the shield. Oh, not just cloaking. It's a consciousness shield! A creature trying to evade capture, hiding behind a visual projection shield, and this one shows us what we instinctively want to protect, as a defence.
Help me out here. Are they saying that the Qurunx also set up the cloaking ??? or that the cybermen cloaked it and it also put up the consciousness shield? ? or was it all the cybermen?? why would it need both?
also the idea of it showing what you want to protect -- do yaz and the doctor and dan ALL just happen to see a child in this situation then ??
"is this planet your doing?" doctor you literally saw the cybermen kidnap the qurunx to bring here 😭😭😭... YOU FOLLOWED THEM HERE
just once i'd like the "your master awaits" to be subverted/mirrored with "your doctor awaits" ...... the "this country needs a doctor" line is hot but its not the SAME.
"have you got any idea whats going on in outspace in 1916 rn" "strangely enuf. no" this line always gets me aklsjflk i love kate
"I'm Yaz. The only one here who doesn't really know what's going on" sorry babe that's your whole character
MANDIP INVENTING ACTING
i am once again asking ok these paintings got "defaced" so its not an alt timeline??????????? they never fixed this in the end right ??????? sweats. so rasputin was teh master alll along historically (?)... and he jst put himself in paintings in modern day ?? but then the dr says "some people think you're rasputin" ?????
"this is the day youre erased from existence forever" .... how does turning into her erase her from existence 😭
dhawan inventing acting
i still dont understand why this "give her a gun" moment is in there.
wait what happens to vinder in the end??? his ships broken
"you'll feel safer with me in the building" LMAO
"she really doens't want us back in there" and then yaz just drops her home w no goodbye to the doctor coolcoolcoolcoool
ok but why did the master clone ashad specifically what difference does he make over like. any cyberman/cyberleader??
love the russian doll cyberman lmaoooo... reminds me of that arc thing from doomsday/aog... TIME LORD TECH
if i had a penny for every time the doctor is forced into one of their enemies only for it to be purely for transport i'd have 2 pennies which isn't a lot but its a bit funny it happens twice
i love the rasputin moment but i dont rlly get the lead in ngl 😭 hes just like k time for my dance number mid speech. which i suppose like. in character XD
sacha dhawan in thirteens outfit.... i'm bisexual<3 i need to get my ears pierced
"Don't… don't… don't worry. You'll get used to me. Everyone will. I still need a companion to ask and… bask in my brilliance. Come on, Yaz. Let's go on an adventure! Don't make me ask twice. I'd hate to have to bring you down to size." /
"Come on, Yaz! Let's save a civilisation! Let's correct history! Rescue a sick animal! These yours? Oh, bless. Ow! What was that? Some sort of dirty protest? Unless you want to be consigned down a black hole for eternity, you'd better behave! I am the Doctor, and you will obey me." snapping in yaz's face "I AM THE DOCTOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
-> this would have hit soo different if this actually was the doctor i would HAVE LOVEDDDD it. first time watching i honetsly thought this was still the doctor and the tardis was reacting like that bc the regeneration was so unnatural (like the way she reacted to jack in utopia) but no 😔
mandip inventing acting<3
"very 80s" "thanks!" LMAO
"gold star and a sticker" u r sick
the random news drone on top of a random 2 planets is so.... ??? i feel like a lot of this was cut somehow aslkfjklgds..
also where's the awkward cut scene of yaz standing around while the master's in the wardrobe picking his outfit aksfjgdlkf
[plays the recorder on a burning mushroom planet] king shit
"quite the strength of character this incarnation" "DOCTOR 6: Our predicament! This is supposed to be handed over. You can't ruin it for the next one. / DOCTOR 5: And you were doing so well." i hateee these bits so much its SO patronising
"i dont do robes" lmao
why is whittaker in the reversed robe/the robe they used for time here hm
the hologram i do like as an idea tbf especially as we've seen the basic version w 9 and 11 and whatnot so her developing it to be more ai is rlly fun ... especially after she saw how handy having three of her in diff places was in flux lmaoooo
"it should only activate under the gravest circumstances. Like if I'm no longer around. Now, that would be disastrous. But I will have very subtly inserted a sonically triggered nano-implant under your skin and passed it off as static electricity. f I remember to do that. I must remember to do that." -- so either 13 has only just finished the hologram ai before this ep OR she KNOWS shes about to walk into some Real ShitTM and takes precautions akjfgldf.....
"HOLO-DOCTOR: Whoa! The emotional receptors on the AI are a bit oversensitive. Apparently, you're annoyed with me? Apparently, I should apologise for something?" this is so fucking funny because it comes across literally just like thirteen was she is always this fucking mean and patronising and borderline manipulative lmao its so askjdfglkdf......... blame it on the emotional receptors being oversensitive sure 🙄
i reiterate my point that most of the things/wins we get are done by the hologram dr, yaz is STILL asking the doc for validation even when shes a hologram 😔
"can't hurt the feelings of a hologram" SHE JUST TOLD U SHE WAS AI. watching this after measure of a man is like. HELLO.
"yeah well i didnt" [tosses bag] I LOVE TEGAN
they cld have mentioned nyssa in this rant tho fr
"i'll distract the cybermen" "how are you gonna do that" [cuts to screaming] hELP ASKFJDGLF... THE COMEDY IN THIS EP IS SO
the shot of ace falling into the console room is so fun actually <3
dhawan hood up<3<3
vinder no idea who the doctor is or their history w the doctor or yaz in this ep is. q funny to me.
"YASMIN: I'm sorry. / MASTER: Are you? Truly?/ YASMIN: Came back, didn't I? / MASTER: We could have fun, you know? I am fun. Different type of fun, but fun. We could travel. You'll see. "
i am once again saying i wish we got dhawan!doctor fr with this vibe
the touch of the ai mirroring the companions emotions is cute but i do still kinda wish we'd got whittaker to do these scenes fully
god i want ace and bill to meet actually
"the joy is to watch them fly" 😭😭😭
"former bus driver" is such a funny thing for graham to think when introducing himself
"wanna see how i dealt with them in 1963?" i'm kissing you on the lips
kate sacrificing herself is so<3<3 redgraves acting here is sooooo
jasfkdj tegan slipping on the ladder... is this a ryan reference or is that purely for plot convenienceTM
if the daleks plan is to destroy the planet through volcanoes then who do the cybermen have left to convert .....😭
wait the tardis in this shot LOOKS SO BAD i never notice cgi and whatnot idc but like LITERALLY THATS OBVIOUSLY A BOX WITH THE BACKGROUND PAINTED IN 😭
jo martin my beloved<3 god i wish she got more to do
vinder shooting the master is sooo<3 king
yazs speech about friendship and love got me actually.
i reiterate its the hologram telling yaz what to do this isnt her win wholly and that frustrates me so much 😭...
also how do the daleks and cybermen and master and vinder SEE ruths hologram when the doctor didnt plant the ai in them ?????? the whole static thing was the flag hello ??
"dont let me go back to being me" pleaseeee
"where there's hope..." YOU DIDNT FINISH THAT. THERES WHAT.
#watching w subs always makes me feel better butb i cldnt first time bc my parents HATE it 🙄🙄#p#part 1 bc apparently theres a limit#dw spoilers#dw; power of the doctor
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☕️ + the persona series in general (or just p4, if you prefer)
[HOLDS MY HEAD] UGH. spoilers for persona 4/golden obviously. i know it's an old game but it got released. no one play this though. it sucks ass
persona 4 has a special place in my heart and mind BUT it honestly can only truthfully (HAH) be experienced by mentally ill teenagers.
persona 4 is unironically really well written for what it is. a lot of people like to mention how it (at least initially) is more light hearted than 3 or 5, but that serves to the game's benefit in my opinion. inaba is supposed to be a boring quaint little town. the setting contrasts the horrors of what's in the tv and the murders that take place. the setting also leads to a lot of character motivation/reasoning which really make some of the characters and their social links have weight to them.
i think it really hit me how good this game is is in rise's dungeon. rise herself is a really well written character but her dungeon and shadow......oh my GOD is it good. her shadow and her relationship with identity as an idol, especially for her who just barely a teenager and feels initially that she can't be herself because everyone just wants her to be risette and not rise. overtime (in her social link) she realizes that risette is her and she accepts that there is no "real me". very good arc and i feel the same about all the other shadows as well and how they kinda develop the characters through their SLs. narrative wise the shadows and the midnight channel are the best parts of 4 and really highlight the whole truth aspect the game is going for.
kinda of a sidebar but: yes, my favorite social link is yosuke's. i think his shadow and social link kind of show a neat parallel to adachi. yosuke is bored of inaba (for a multitude of reasons) and his initial motivation for entering the TV is that he finally gets to do something exciting. we know yosuke isn't well liked because of his ties to junes, so getting to do something where he might actually get to be liked (his shadow even mentions he could play hero) was alluring enough to convince yu (YES I CALL HIM YU I PLAYED ARENA BEFORE I PLAYED THE GAMES) to enter the tv. he does eventually want to solve the murder case for his own reasons, but throughout his social link yuou see a little bit of his selfishness as well as jealously he has for yu. both of them are from the city but yu was accepted and liked immediately and was the "hero" he wanted to be. yosuke wants someone to like him, someone to be close to, someone he can be equals with and that's why he bonds with yu immediately because he sees yu as someone who he can be close with and relates to his struggle somewhat. he's also bisexual but. atlus are homophobes so kys.
the midnight channel and the fog itself are also it's own neat mystery on top of the whole. well murders. the initial theories the team has guide the player along of finding out the truth. the fog being representative of human's desire to "live in the fog" (escape the truth) and the midnight channel being representative of human's thoughts is a really good way to show how humanity has this desire to see only surface level of others (which is also shown throughout the game as most of the team is influenced by how the world around them views them).
this is really shown when you have the chance to kill nametame. the team's (justifiable) anger at nametame for killing nanako (who is dead at this point), manifesting a version of nametame on the tv who is supposed to represent nametame "true" feelings. if you do kill nametame, the "bad ending" plays and nanako stays dead, and the fog remains in the town and it cuts to you leaving. it's a very abrupt ending and it shows how the team who has been searching for truth through the whole game is maniuplated by this desire to see what they want to see. this is also shown on the last day in the game where you can find the "real culprit" in izanami.
it does suck sometimes though. the homophobia that yosuke has sucks (note: when kanji is in yu and yosuke's tent just skip until you see chie and yukiko enter. thats my message), and the way the game treats naoto (especially if you decided to do the romance route) is weird. some of the social links aren't good either? yukiko and rise while their social links are well written, the endings kinda suck doodoo.
i also feel like golden has the least amount of content for a remake. (barring all the QoL changes). while fes has aigis' development in the answer and royal has that third semester, golden adds very little imo. sure there's the ultimate personas you get and a couple new scenes (ski trip and beach scenes) but other than that? it's kinda barren with new story elements. adachi's social link is nice, i'll give them that. but. marie...oh my fucking god marie
listen. i know marie's purpose right. she's supposed to add more lore for izanami and the whole aspect of fog and truth but I HATE HER. she feels really shoehorned in and she's really mean to the team and yu for no reason at all. at least with like some of the "mean" characters, they're at least nice to you at some point, but marie is just a bitch! she's supposed to be a tsundere but like. i hate her so fuck her. her dungeon and boss design are really cool and im pissed it's wasted on a dumb character like her. her backstory is somewhat neat i suppose? but it just feels kinda tacked on as a last minute thing to tie into the original plot of the game. it seems like atlus also wants to push marie as yu's love interest but. man he has better chemistry with the homophobe than he does with her LMAO
despite that, the game really shines when the fog begins to descend on inaba and nanako is in heaven (dungeon). it floored me the first time i played. the music is no longer happy and upbeat and is now somber and eerie will long dull tones. before every cutscene the game reminds you of the fog in the area, which is a unsettling reminder of the end fate of inaba. npcs begin to breakdown and wear gas masks, and soon there's not many people roaming the streets anymore. even the shopping channel doesn't sell you items anymore. it just feels creepy and it feels somewhat hopeless endeavor as you spend your last couple months in inaba pursuing the truth however fruitless it may seem.
conclusion: i literally could go on but i've been writing about this for 2 hours so i'll wrap it up. persona 4 is an incredible game that i feel deserves all the praise it gets. i am also secretly glad that people have been too busy discoursing about the p3p port so we don't have to hear braindead morons online tell me how i'm wrong for saying a a character might be gay. its been 15 years let it go atlus sucks!!!! the game is somewhat dated but i feel there's a lot to appreciate as you play the game despite those flaws. i've played it like 5 times. god help me. also arena is very good. that is all. DON'T PLAY THIS GAME THOUGH. YOU WILL BE BECOME MENTALLY ILL BEYOND REPAIR!!!!!
second conclusion: sam and max is a better detective game. they would've killed adachi in 5 seconds of meeting him.
third conclusion: shoutout to atlus usa and the localizers for making yosuke the most closeted bisexual ever. brendon small took these notes for nickles. homophobic teenager couple (souyo) and homophobic old man couple (nickles) and homophobic furry couple (sam and max). i see no difference love is love.
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So watching the Barbie movie and listening to the El Diablo remix of Fly Away by Teddyloid sparked an epiphany for Ann—
She could have been Panty. Now hear me out,
just as Panty had a mini-arc of not being as much of a hedonistic bitch (for better or worse), Ann could have had that. She's spiteful and pretty, and knows that she's pretty—she just hates when other people use that to justify mistreating her.
She doesn't give a shit about the other victims aside from her and Shiho. This might just be fanon but she definitely gives me the vibes of someone who knew Ryuji, knew him well, and still couldn't do anything for him during the initial Kamoshida incident (him breaking Ryuji's knee and team). She decided against killing Kamoshida not because it'd be right or wrong necessarily but because the only way he can atone, in her eyes, is to suffer.
She has a whip, for crying out loud. That soft, frightened Ann and the sadist who only cares about who she's loyal—who her friends are—they need to co-exist. And in Canon P5, they don't. Ann likes sugar and Shiho and after that, she barely likes modeling or has a want. And that sucks.
Her costume—the perfect embodiment of what makes you feel powerful and sleek—is immediately undercut by having the boys gawk at her while she desperately tries to cover herself. And that's gross. The problem isn't the costume. It's her interaction with the costume.
I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it or really any problem with it, if we leaned into it (also if she weren't pretty much a teenage girl being dropped in the deep end of sexuality) like Juliet from Lollipop Chainsaw or Bayonetta. Those two are peak powerful-sexy and camp as all hell. And I wish that scene felt like it was more about her retaking her narrative. She's not a sexy victim—she's a pissed off girl who happens to be really attractive and sick of it.
And honestly, same. The decision to make her half-Colombian and half-Japanese is because well, I find the "desirable white hafu" boring af and because I'm honestly a lot more familiar with the fetishized attractive person. Ann looks like a curvy gyaru girl (and while I appreciate gyaru girls for what they are and do, it's still kinda weird for racial undertones and whatnot) but isn't one. She's a darker Latina-Japanese woman with curves, family and wants. That is directly at odds with how Kamoshida (patriarchy) would like to have her—a pretty, exotic and rare trophy. Her having cellulite and actually having to get up early and have a routine to look good doesn't fit that. Her at healthiest actually being fat/plus-sized. Her being a human person and actually allowing herself to be seen as human again is part of her arc in my retelling. Her having to live without being Shiho's protector and best friend, without Kamoshida, without as tight a grip on routine sounds like a fun take.
Because as much as I like Ryuji as the heart of the team, Rin and Ann are the leader and second in command here—they're the ones who butt heads the most. They're the perfectionists who have two painfully parallel ideas about justice in the beginning: it's not for me and fuck everyone (except for these very specific people who are mine). Which for Ann broadens into justice is about taking action revenge for those who can't until Futaba's Palace. They butt heads over the type of perfectionism—Ann's about optics and not giving room for anyone to say somethings wrong with their plans, the style of the Thieves while Rin's about tactics, a way in and out, knowing the patrols like the back of their hand, preparing for any mistake. They're both rigid and it's really difficult to call either of them soft in the way that someone who didn't know Haru that well could call her soft and their dynamic is one that needs to be built in a way that truly does require Kindness because both of them are traumatized and have no one they really trust to talk about it with. They're outcasts who watch the warmth of the village through the windows and staunchly refuse to burn it down because hope against hope, maybe one day, someone will let them in.
But back to the Ann and Panty comparison, Panty is a hedonistic apathetic young woman who breaks hearts and kicks ass. Ann could have been a pretty, vain, apathetic, hedonistic, heart breaking ass kicker with a whip who holds grudges and some pretty black and white thinking. Every time someone mentions Kamoshida, she's there to spit on his name. Every Palace owner is evil. Every Palace owner is irredeemable. Everyone who isn't a Phantom Thief is the problem.
Let her get excited about trendy desserts and shoes. Let her love the camera and how she looks in it. If we're going to have Catwoma-sorry, Kittywoman as a comparison make it worth it. Let there be rumors about her being a slut. Let those linger after Kamoshida. Let it be hushed. Let her classmates be envious of the untouchable, inhuman Ann Takamaki and the one mortal she allows to be graced with her presence.
And that scene where she has the breakdown after the phone call with Kamoshida early on?
Not yet. We'll go slow.
I'd have those chips in her armor show after she's voluntarily taken off her mask. Day after day, he visits her and Shiho. Day after day, he calls. Day after day, they either make progress or they don't and no one seems to give a shit about this. No one.
So. She snaps. And this is where her Arcana shines—the Lovers: communication, intimate relationships, trust and the development of personal belief systems—because the Thieves, Ryuji and Rin, catch her. Morgana is Morgana which I'll espouse upon later. They become a team in vulnerability, in trust. Because to me, at the end of the day, mutual vulnerability builds the first bridge. Small victories, small tears, larger payback.
She doesn't kill him because she needs him to confess. She needs to watch the guilt eat at him, watch him ruin his life like he tried to do to hers. (sometimes she wonders if he'd succeeded) (it's a thought that as time goes on, she's able to push more and more out of her head and out of Shiho's too) She doesn't know what that says about her. She doesn't know if she likes it.
But she doesn't hate it.
And I don't know man, isn't that what being in your 20s is sometimes—figuring out what parts of yourself you don't 100% hate and figuring out how to be a person.
TLDR: Ann Takamaki and Barbie gave me more feelings than I expected when I first looked at them when I was younger. I thought I hated them but really with Ann, I felt betrayed by the narrative and this is how I'd fix it. And just like with Barbie, it was all patriarchy and an unfair narrative.
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disloyal order of water buffaloes (2008) / hold me tight or don’t (2018)
#fall out boy#fob#folie a deux#disloyal order of water buffaloes#mania#m a n i a#hold me tight or don't#lyrics#fob lyrics#photo#mine#this is honestly barely a parallel but i can't get it out of my head
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so a post that i read years ago and never found again talked how basically all tumblr fights are people treating the platform as a public forum vs people treating the platform as their own personal diary of a sort
and it's been living in my head rent free this whole time bc this is it you've boiled tumblr down to its bare essentials. and i think most of us think of what we post/write in tags as our own private space, and simultaneously of what crosses our dash as the public sphere
and then offense happens bc we see someone speaking up about smg losely related to an original post as derailing it or lacking reading comprehension when actually what's happening is more like taking some random public discussion as an opportunity to vent 'privately' in their own personal space and then being dragged for it in the public forum bc everything on tumblr is always both your personal content and in a public space at the same time, but we tend to view it as either one or the other
so my point, bc yes i do have one!! is, all this is uhh messy. so in your utopic fandom platform, what are your thoughts re the separation between the public and private sphere? bc i sure don't have a good answer about it
i like all of us shouting in the void together, it feels all safe and anonymous, and i like that we can all chime in as directly with reblogs or indirectly with new posts or comments in tags as we want, i could never do fandom in like. discord groupchats, fucking yikes
but clearly there's definitely flawsTM to the tumblr model of no separation or even definition whatsoever of what it even means to be private or public so. and apart for a brief and very much regretted dipping of my toes in the horrid waters of twitter tumblr is the only fandom space i've ever known so i can't have any perspective, can we talk about Options out there or how they could be improved maybe
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Tumblr: where boundaries go to die.
Honestly, there is no one answer. I liked LJ back in the day and barely used communities. I liked mailing lists, which were entirely community-oriented. Hell, I'm still on some mailing lists in 2021. I'm more active on discord than anywhere else, but not places most of you will ever find me. I regularly read r/FanFiction and started r/FandomHistory on Reddit. Et cetera.
Different platforms appeal to different fans.
No shit, right? But people seriously forget this or at least don't consider the implications: "Fandom", if we mean Tumblr, consists only of people willing to put up with Tumblr. But if "Fandom" means more than that, then it will inevitably include some people who can't or won't put up with Tumblr. There are a lot of platform options that "work" at least well enough to get some community or other going there.
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
For me personally, it's pretty obvious I imprinted on the Dreamwidth/Livejournal way of doing things in individual meta-heavy blogs (as opposed to communities). Or... well... not obvious because most people here have no experience of that, but it is how I use my own tumblr:
I post longform text constantly
quite a bit of my tumblr is my own opinions, not just curated content
I have threaded conversations without worrying if other people approve
I treat all commentary on my posts as something I am allowed to respond to
I make new top-level posts sometimes to point to good bits of discussion that could be overlooked
I come back to discussions later
I sometimes make posts linking to and synthesizing various parallel discussions on related topics
I treat basically everything as being in public, i.e. not under friendslock, but I also treat my tumblr as my space
I think it's useful for sites to have something like a LJ com or an AO3 collection that can be themed without occupying an entire site-wide tag. It's also useful to have personal spaces that belong to one person alone.
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Okay @princekirijo you want an essay? Well here it is now, or as I like to call it Felix's "Asumari is great and this fandom has no fucking taste" rambling and infodump. Congrats fellas, thanks to Prince you ALL get an asumari essay. But before that I'll try to give you a rundown of Mari and Asuka.
(I'm also so sorry for putting this long ass post on everyone's dashboard)
(Spoiler warning for Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time!!)
Alright on one hand we have Mari Illustrious Makinami. Her whole deal? She's a walking ray of sunshine, literally lol. Unlike any other character in the Evangelion franchise she doesn't suffer from her trauma, she's quite literally the only healthy and functioning human being, she's just slightly leaning towards "batshit crazy" with the stunts she pulls 🤷♂️. Other than that she just loves living, she loves being with people, she keeps moving forward, stays positive and decides to live life to it's fullest even after she experiences loss and multiple apocalyptic events (Second Impact, Third Impact, etc.) and she really just embodies the joy of living. That's all there is to her, or at least all we know.
On the other hand, we have Asuka Langley Shikinami who is... well it's hard to explain what she is to be honest. She's part-German and part-Japanese and part of a line of clones specifically made with the purpose to pilot an Evangelion and later on be used as a sacrifice to trigger another Impact (ITS COMPLICATED I KNOW-) Asuka is, unlike Mari, very much suffering from her trauma. She doesn't have her parents and has a very deep seated belief that she's completely alone, which she says doesn't matter as long as she can pilot the Eva. She also very much wants to fight and kill angels all by herself, and it's seriously messing with her when she can't achieve that.
Now we get to the more interesting parts (hopefully this so far wasn't too confusing, then again it's Eva and even I can't fully wrap my head around it all LMAO)
In the second Rebuild movie (Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance) we get introduced to both of them, Mari's introduction scene (in the original English dub) has her pilot an Eva and singing about how she'll take the world on by herself, while in the third movie's (Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo) opening scene she's piloting the Eva again but this time it's together with Asuka (in her own Unit 02 though) and during that Mari sings about how wonderful it is not to be alone. It's nothing big yet, but it's a really cute detail me thinks,,, you know what else I love about them? They bicker and they banter and it's genuinely so fun to listen to shskdhsuwj
(For a quick catch up: During the end of 2.0 Shinji (the protagonist) triggers another apocalyptic event, the Near Third Impact, and was only stopped due to Kaworu (the guy in my pfp) stepping in. Also between 1.0/2.0 and 3.0/3.0+1.0 are about 14 years (without Shinji bc he's like comatose) where A LOT happens AND we learn in 3.0 that Eva pilots don't age physically bc of "The curse of the Eva"... honestly Eva is wild lmao)
Okay okay I'll get back to it!
So one thing that happens is that Asuka during 2.0 develops a crush on Shinji (girl why-), unfortunately things take a turn for the worse. Asuka had volunteered to be the testpilot for a new Eva (Unit 03), she seemed happy at the time and it was a really sweet build up with the "I can smile, I didn't know I could still do that."-line. And then? Then it turns out the Ninth Angel had infected Unit 03 (Angels are basically the Kaijus they fight using Evas btw). The thing goes on a loose and Shinji is forced to fight it (With Asuka inside mind you), he refuses and his father uses an autopilot to destroy Unit 03. And boy did it destroy the angel, well it and it crushed Asuka between its jaws (you can actually hear her scream btw haha pain :)).
Asuka survived though, but the whole incident cost her her humanity and she ended up becoming an angel herself/she took the place of the Ninth. But despite that, there's one person who keeps believing in Asuka's humanity, who fiercely believes Asuka is still a human and tells her as much.
Yep, that one person is Mari and she keeps holding onto that belief until the very end when Asuka uses her last resort, which is using the power of an angel (Doing so was a guaranteed death sentence btw). Mari's own words (in the German dub) were, "Princess, you're giving up being human…" AND IT MAKES ME SO EMO GOD FUCK
While I'm at it, Mari and Asuka are a fucking killer combo as a team. They rely on each other for support in combat, listen to the other's orders and advice. Especially in Asuka's case it's kind of a big deal that she so openly relies and counts on Mari's support. Like these two trust each other with their damn lifes!!! Holy shit!!
Guess what though, they also have nicknames for eachother. Mari always calls Asuka "Princess" or "(Your) Highness" while Asuka calles Mari "Four-eyes" / "Four-eyed chrony (idk how you spell that tbh RIP" Even better though, in the German dub Asuka calls Mari "Brillerella" as in a combination of "Brille" (German for glasses) and "Cinderella",,,,Cinderella and her Prince,,,Brillerella and her Princess,,, man, that was a gay fucking move of the translation team. Spoiler: I owe them my life.
Funfact: There's exactly two times throughout the Rebuild movies where Mari uses Asuka's actual name. These two times being when she watches Asuka "die" and be used as a sacrifice for Gendo's selfish plan and when later on she begs Shinji, "So please the Princess… Asuka needs your help!" And the best part? That wasn't even the first time she did that. The mentioned line came from 3.0+1.0, but she did that too in 3.0 with the, "At least save the Princess!" line (although her tone was much more...pissed, like she was really angry lol)
Remember the crush Asuka had on Shinji? Well due to the Unit 03 incident a whole lot of other shit got mixed into that and her feelings for him in general became really bitter (understandably so). Now Mari being who she is sometimes teases Asuka about said old crush but she really does want Asuka to get closure and sort that mess out.
As an example for the teasing, in 3.0 there's a scene that goes like this (please imagine Mari with a literal :3 face while saying that):
"Unit! Are you back in the game?"
"I'm on it, your Highness. But first things first, how was our little puppy (Shinji)? Did he sit like a good little boy?"
"He's exactly the same! Same stupid face talking mayhem!"
"That goofy face of his, that's what you wanted to see? Riiiiight?"
"Shut up! I went there to bat him one!... And I feel better!"
There's also a very short bonus manga that was released in Japan for Thrice Upon a Time's release that has Mari trying to convince Asuka to come with her on the mission to get Shinji, given everything that follows, it's just another thing to prove my point. And the final bit relating to that is this:
"Feeling better now?"
"Yeah, I do feel better."
That's the exchange Asuka and Mari have after they talked to Shinji, it's nothing special but I think it's really sweet and this time Asuka actually sounded like she was feeling better instead of when she was screaming after she nearly broke pretty thick glass with her fist (If she had hit someone with that much force she definitely would've broken something omggg #violentimpulsesgang)
To get back on track though: I already mentioned it but during the second half of 3.0+1.0 Asuka "dies" (and honestly that entire scene is worth its own in-depth post because its just one huge parallel to The End of Evangelion), the point is: You can tell that the loss of Asuka honestly hits Mari hard. Not only because of how Mari screams Asuka's name but also because of her expressions. They're pained, like really fucking pained and Mari even apologizes to her that she has to fall back due to the fact that she's injured AND because eveything is going wrong.
After the events of Evangelion 3.0 these two got seperated from eachother, Mari was with WILLE (the organization both of them are with) and on board of Wunder (the ship WILLE basically operates from) while Asuka was in a Village full of (Near) Third Impact Survivors. When they do meet again it went like this:
Asuka, barely back, comes to the door and calls, "I'm back." And within seconds of Asuka stepping into their room after the door opens Mari already runs towards her, arms wide open and she says, "Welcome back, your Highness! Good job. I missed you so much!" And she says that while she literally nuzzles into Asuka,,,like,,,what the fuck gay people real!!!
Best part? Asuka clearly has enough strength to push Mari completely away if she were uncomfortable, but she doesn't. Asuka merely wanted enough space to look at the room (because Mari managed to horde even more books lol) and play her game. During their entire renunion Mari keeps hugging her, and part of me thinks that perhaps deep down Asuka actually enjoys the feeling of physical affection.
Before we get to the last point though, let me say that Asuka and Mari have scenes in 3.0+1.0 that parallel Shinji and Kaworu's from 3.0. (Fyi Kaworu loves Shinji (yeah, like that, and 3.0 was basically them being gay as fuck for an hour) so like...do I even need to explain?
And then of course there's also this, the "Take care of yourself, Princess…" line. That is the last time Mari talks to Asuka and as much as that line alone already is so much, it's Mari's expression in particular that kills me. Because this? This soft, almost bittersweet expression she has, as she basically says goodbye? Because she knows Asuka will finally be happy and safe? It just makes me feel so much actually. Man.
In the end it's a fact that Mari loved Asuka, wether that is interpreted as platonic or romantic by someone is up to them. But it is a fact that Asuka was loved enough that someone wanted to hug her, was happy to see her, to praise her, was hurt by her loss, wanted her to be safe, that someone told her "Take care of yourself…" Asuka was really and honestly so loved that someone would tell her, "I missed you."
But Asuka? Asuka was too hurt, too wrapped up in her own head to actually see how loved she was by Mari (and other people) that she genuinely believed she's completely alone and always will be alone.
It makes the "Take care of yourself" line hit even harder to me, because it's not only Mari's goodbye, but it's a goodbye during the one time Asuka allowed herself to be vulnerable and admit what she really wanted.
And honestly? All of this? Its makes me feel so many things and I just love them so much man.
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You ever notice how similar Xie Wang and Han Ying’s stories and character arcs are?
A warning here that this contains spoilers for all of Word of Honor/Shan He Ling. Stop reading now, I reference a ton of shit.
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I was actually discussing a couple fic ideas with a friend a few weeks ago, and I got to wondering after thinking about those parallels I could see -
Does Han Ying x Xie Wang exist as a ship?? Is that a thing?? That exists?? Can it please exist??
It has so much potential. There's so many narrative parallels with these two characters.
They're two people who deserved better than their respective endings, who never got what they wanted, because of the manipulation of men who wanted power and would stop at nothing to get it (Jin Wang and Zhao Jing). The manipulation of those who saw them as less then what they were.
They also have similarities in their relationships with their "mentor figures" - Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, and Xie Wang and Zhao Jing. They have quite a lot of differences too, enough that their lives parallel each other instead of mirror, and I just think that their personal experiences could make for a very compelling storyline if these two were to interact. It would be an interesting road to a development of a potential relationship, and moreover an opportunity for both of them to learn from the other and heal.
And real talk? I just want the both of them to be happy tbh (and of course that obviously doesn't need to involve a romantic relationship - I just have no self control. I'd be just as ecstatic about a really good friendship though).
I also know they never interact in the drama - but then again these two are also literally dead in the drama. Reality is what you make it 🤣🤣. And considering how close the Scorpion was working with Tian Chuang - honestly I'm pretty sure you can't really say they haven't met either.
So anyways, I guess reasons why I think this would be a good ship dynamic:
First of all, their relations with their mentors and how it's similar to each other and also not. The resulting potential for mutual support:
Han Ying's dearest wish is to be a disciple of Zhou Zishu's, as he says plainly in that one episode.
The thing is, there could be quite a lot of subtext taken from that - I've read interpretations that he's in love with Zhou Zishu, or at least has romantic feelings for him - a strong crush possibly - which I can plausibly see (I can also see it just being platonic, which I will talk about later). But yeah, a romantic interpretation just because of how strong his devotion towards Zhou Zishu is. The wistful looks?????
In that kind of situation, IF the romantic feelings are two-sided instead of one-sided - which I would like to go on the record and say that with Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, I don't believe it is - and as a result actually becomes something, that type of relationship would not be the most healthy, because there's a very strong imbalance of power. Even if the mentor figure genuinely cares and actively minds the mentee's feelings - the mentee still undeniably has that level of hero worship - it won't ever be equal. We can see that already in Han Ying's case, Zhou Zishu repeatedly tells him to stop treating him with so much formality because he's not the leader anymore and yet Han Ying still remains deferential.
In that interpretation, if that were the case of it being two sided - Han Ying would have quite a lot of similarity of experience to Xie Wang's relation to Zhao Jing -
And here I can talk about how Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship is uh. Kinda sus tbh. Like. That doesn't look like a healthy or platonic father-son relationship and it gives me the creeps. In Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship, I'm more inclined to believe there's some semi-incestous yifu fucking going on than anything platonic, there's just so many sus moments - and if I'm not mistaken they dubbed over a line in the show where it was basically stated plainly that it's not a platonic relationship. Or at least - Xie Wang doesn't view Zhao Jing platonically (and I don't believe Zhao Jing discourages it at all, if anything he actively encourages and guides it to make Xie Wang dependent on him). So we got another setup where it's potentially one sided romantic feelings/hero worship. Or maybe two sided for them, who knows.
But the thing is, while I talked about unhealthy romantic relationships in my section about Han Ying, a fundamental difference between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships with their mentors is that Zhou Zishu's relationship with Han Ying would be a lot healthier. A LOT healthier. So much fucking healthier, I cannot emphasis that enough. And that's mostly because their relationship is not two-sided, and because he sees Han Ying as a person.
He cares about Han Ying a lot but not as anything beyond platonic - he views him as a student and a subordinate and protects him as such. Han Ying on the other hand could have romantic feelings for Zhou Zishu. Not in love per se, it feels to me like it could be a mix of a really strong crush with really strong hero worship. I don't think Han Ying truly knows Zhou Zishu's other aspects of personality (yet?? I guess because if we're gonna hypothetically bring both Han Ying and Xie Wang back to life he probably will eventually get to know Zhou Zishu properly), because I doubt he ever showed anything beyond his stern assassin leader type of persona to his subordinates. He was likely caring yes, but in a way that keeps people at a distance. So, a mentor-mentee type of relationship where Han Ying could be crushing quite hard on Zhou Zishu. But still a healthy one, as Zhou Zishu, one - doesn't intend to pursue a romantic relationship with Han Ying - and moreover, although might know about his feelings, or his devotion at least(tbh you'd have to be blind not to), he treats them, and him, with respect. He doesn't try and manipulate Han Ying, or use his emotions for his own purposes. He sees Han Ying as his own person. His affection and regards towards Han Ying remains unconditional, even if Han Ying messes up or doesn't follow instructions. Instructions that, btw, repeatedly try to keep Han Ying out of the line of fire, and makes it clear that Han Ying is to put himself first.
Everything Zhao Jing does however is solely to cripple Xie Wang and make him wholly dependent on him. He's been grooming Xie Wang from such a young age, and his positive regard and care is ALWAYS conditional. As soon as Xie Wang messes up, he takes it away as punishment, and because of how Zhao Jing's made himself the center of Xie Wang's world, that action is devastating to him. He subtly encourages and toys with Xie Wang's regard for him for his own purposes, he tries to make Xie Wang jealous so he works twice as hard to earn back Zhao Jing's attention. And as we see with his intention to eventually discard Xie Wang as soon as he is no longer useful - he doesn't view Xie Wang as a person. He's merely another tool in his arsenal.
The reason why I wrote such a long ass analysis about the similarities and differences between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships is because as I mentioned before, one reason I think this would be a pretty interesting ship and dynamic is how these two could help each other. At first, it might be more Han Ying helping Xie Wang.
Xie Wang hasn't ever experienced what a proper and healthy guardian type relationship is like, or even what it means for someone to choose him first. He's a victim of abuse, and should he manage to survive the avalanche at the end of the show, there is potential for him to start to undo all the damage that Zhao Jing has inflicted on him all those years, especially if the man is truly no longer around. And I think Han Ying would be in a very good position to offer him support in that journey. Moreover, if Han Ying has had an experience similar to that, it could be the reason he would want to offer support to Xie Wang. He's experienced a lot of what Xie Wang has experienced, but he's also seen what it is for someone to genuinely care about him, and as a result likely has a more healthy view on that type of relationship. They're similar enough for Xie Wang to potentially not want to push Han Ying away if he ever offers his help, but also dissimilar enough that Han Ying could offer new avenues of thought.
At the same time, if you just read Han Ying and Zhou Zishu's relationship as a really strong type of hero worship, this dynamic could make sense too. Han Ying clearly looks up to Zhou Zishu quite a lot, and on top of that, Zhou Zishu in a way represents everything Han Ying has wanted and couldn't have - aka a family and a mentor figure and a home to call his own. Regardless of if it's purely platonic or not, it's still an infinitely healthier relationship, a parallel to Xie Wang's experience, so the potential of the offer of support remains the same.
Second of all, similarity in origin and life experiences, which is a small thing tbh but still an important thing:
Han Ying is someone I don't know a lot of background on tbh - I presume he doesn't have a family anymore, and somehow ended up in the Window of Heaven. I've read fics where Zhou Zishu was the one to save him at some point and offer him a position in the assassin group, and I'm inclined to take that as a plausible head canon (unless it's actually canon, idk I haven't read tyk yet).
So, in bare bones, he's an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking member of an assassin group.
Xie Wang is also someone who no longer has a family - we don't know that much about his background either, but I presume he was happened upon by Zhao Jing in some way - I'm not sure at what age tbh, is it assumed that he was raised by him?? Or maybe in teenage years??
Whatever it happens to be, Xie Wang was taken in, maybe even "saved" by (although if you ask me, he'd be better off without) Zhao Jing.
So in essence it is the same thing as Han Ying's experiences, an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking (or the leader of) an assassin group.
And not only that, as I mentioned from the beginning, these two both realize and know, eventually, that they’re being used by men who are desperate for power (Jin Wang, Zhao Jing).
I mention this actually as just an extension of my first point, because while I mentioned that Han Ying very obviously can support Xie Wang in that particular “past grooming and abuse” aspect, there are probably still many hidden traumas and scars for these two from the lives they’ve both lead. Their similar experiences lead to similar choices which helped shape who they are, and as a result, I think these two could truly understand each other and where they’re coming from.
Their personalities would fit pretty well with each other. I think:
I don’t know if my interpretation on how these two are is accurate tbh, so feel free to let me know if you think it’s out of character.
To me, Han Ying seems like someone who would be pretty calm around the people he cares about; responsible, smart, eager to learn, with a steady sort of presence. He seems like someone who would wear their heart on their sleeve around people he trusts too, but not in any overtly obvious way. I think the reason why I get that impression is that, upon rewatch, I could plainly see his worry about Zhou Zishu in episode one, but when I first started the show, I somehow missed it entirely. Han Ying also didn’t show any qualms about admitting to Chengling that he wants to be Zhou Zishu’s disciple - which can be a very personal piece of info. The way he was around Zhou Zishu, and Wen Kexing also gave off an air of innocent eagerness to do well in his accomplishments and for approval. I’m not saying he’s always like this, because I’m rather certain he has a darker side too - as we see with all the characters, no one is without their traumas and no one is without artifice or without complexity. They’re all grey moral in a very human way, and Han Ying is no different. We’ve seen before too that once he’s got his game face on, the man is pretty competent and also ruthless (his conversation with Gao Chong for example) - I don’t think he could be any less if he’s that high up in the Tianchuang hierarchy. But at the same time I can also see him being a bit of a very subtle disaster (almost?? Slightly dorky??) in certain situations, and we can see that kind of peek through when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing hijacked his kidnapping attempt and he was kind of like uhh. Okay so, I’m in a choke hold, I think that might be my former commander, so like. Let them go. It’s actually really funny cause while Wen Kexing was telling Gao Chong and Chengling to hurry up and leave, I swear you could see Han Ying contemplating his entire life.
The face of a man confuzzled.
Xie Wang on the other hand, is someone that’s more impulsive, liable to push or be mischievous, less of a steady personality and more like - for lack of better word - an absolute gremlin. A pretty murderous one. It’s a bit hard to tell all aspects of how Xie Wang is tbh, since he has many different mannerisms while talking to different people. With Zhao Jing he has a very subservient, almost dutiful, childlike and innocent air about him, and a sort of. Sa jiao (撒娇) type of demeanor. He craves approval from Zhao Jing, and is just generally very baby around him, and I’m really not sure how much of that is how he actually is and how much of that is him learning that this is the best way to get Zhao Jing’s attention. And tbh I don’t think all of that is grooming, I think Xie Wang probably does have the potential to be as soft or as innocently childlike and happy with others he cares about (just hopefully in a lot healthier way). I think we see his soft side a little with Qianqiao when he gives her the cure. Despite that though, we can still see other aspects of him surface. He makes suggestions and pushes when he thinks Zhao Jing’s refusals are unreasonable, he just goes and does his own thing sometimes (um usually murderous things. Like when he killed Song Huai Ren and told Zhao Jing he’s a traitor). He’s mischievous about some of his actions (after literally stabbing a man, ‘what? he said I should kill him if I have the ability’). He’s a lot more obviously gritty and aggressive and morally grey than Han Ying appears, which I think adds dimension to his character when added in with everything else. He’s also very smart, competent, ruthless - obviously since he runs the Scorpion, but he’s surprisingly fair and almost? Honourable? In certain aspects? And like Han Ying, he does somewhat wear his heart on his sleeve, retains that eagerness to do well and is somehow not as jaded as he could be, as he still finds the capacity to eventually care for a stranger (Liu Qianqiao).
I may be oversimplifying how these two could be, but with their personality types I think they have a lot of potential both in a romantic relationship or as close friends. And in a way that at first glance would probably be puzzling - how in the hell did these two become friends/get together (lmao you’ll see Han Ying in his rather sensible disciple robes and then Xie Wang is just there in his braids, dramatic black outfits, winged eyeliner, etc. 🤣🤣😅😅) but on closer thought, makes sense. Han Ying could be a more steadying presence for Xie Wang, and Xie Wang in turn could help him loosen up a bit more. (That’s kind of oversimplifying it but it’s 5 am where I am rn and I’m too tired to elaborate) I also believe Xie Wang might push Han Ying to be more ambitious, be able to do things for himself more - because Xie Wang went through a process of, everything I do is for someone else, until I realized they were using me, and now I’m going to do it for myself. In that way they could potentially push each other to higher heights in what they do, and they are pretty similar in ideology and morals and previous actions. They both have blood on their hands, and they’re not afraid to be ruthless or do what’s necessary to get the job done. They have their traumas, their complexities and an understanding of what it’s like to put on masks for different people.
The potential for found family. All the found family. Gimme:
This one I feel like is more obvious and changes some things about canon, but the timeline I imagine for if Xie Wang x Han Ying would be a plausible ship is one where Han Ying survives the stealing of the fake glazed armour incident and becomes one of the disciples of Siji (second disciple of the sixth generation????). Everything else would likely proceed in a very similar way (although in this au in my mind Gu Xiang and Cao Weining are alive). And then during the avalanche incident, with WenZhou trapped in the armoury, Xie Wang ends up surviving and they end up finding him somehow.
Whether or not it’d be out of character for WenZhou to save him I think could be explored, but the bottom line is that eventually they would probably take him back to Siji. There, whether him meeting Han Ying goes smoothly or not is up to interpretation - I very much doubt it would be an amiable meeting tbh - in fact I fully imagine it to be antagonistic af at first, considering what opposing groups they used to be a part of and the knowledge of how deadly the other can be - trust would be hard to come by, which makes a slow development all the more interesting. And moreover them becoming friends or dating would likely help Xie Wang into the dynamic at Siji because now there’s a more tangible connection between him and the place, and I can see while he’s getting to know all the people of Siji, eventually thinking of them as family as well. And Han Ying in turn gets another person who cares about him, and for him to care about.
I’ll be honest here and say that I don’t particularly care at this point how realistic or in character it all would be - I need found family in my life I have no self control. Xie Wang and Han Ying my beloveds needs all the good things.
Another possible meeting is just Han Ying being sent to negotiate with the Scorpions instead of Duan Pengju (is that how it went? I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on plot points here) and meeting each other that way. There could be moments of understanding while working together, an inevitable kinda separation, and eventually seeing each other again at Siji, after all the shitshow is over. The development could continue from there.
The closer age gap:
I’d like to preface this part with a disclaimer that I’m not trying to bash any other ships that are out there, this is actually just entirely my personal preference.
I don’t really like big age gaps in my ships unless their both established adults - for example in their 30's 40's, even 50's. Even if one of them remains young in body, it’s just not a dynamic I generally like. The most popular ship that comes to mind here is Ye Baiyi x Xie Wang - and all the more power to you if you do ship it tbh, I can see it being really adorable and healing for the both of them, especially since Ye Baiyi never really gets a happy ending either (and he absolutely deserves one 😤😤😤) - but that as a ship dynamic is personally not for me, especially after Xie Wang’s kinda hinted relationship with another man that’s also older than him. Ye Baiyi obviously is ten million times the man Zhao Jing could ever be, and it would be an infinitely healthier relationship anyway, but yeah the age gap thing is just my personal bias.
So I don’t know, I appreciate that Han Ying and Xie Wang are both closer in age to each other. I know there aren’t confirmed ages (I think?) but if I had to take a guess, I’d say I think both of them are probably in their early to mid twenties.
Anyways, it’s literally 5:43 am now where I am, so I think I’m gonna end this way too long post and pass out. Honestly, I’m not even sure if this thing is coherent anymore, I’m half delirious with exhaustion while writing this. I might possibly write a fic or do something about this Xie Wang x Han Ying ship, I might not, but I just wanted to get it out there. It’s a cute idea.
Oh god my eyeballs are burning. Cheers, goodnight.
#word of honor#xie wang x han ying#han ying x xie wang#Han Ying#Xie Wang#Shan he ling#I mentioned WenZhou#so I suppose I should put them in?#CaoXiang#Four Seasons Manor#Zhou Zishu#Wen Kexing#Jin Wang#Zhao Jing#liu qianqiao#word of honor spoilers#spoilers
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(Previously, on Season 4 (re)watch...)
Long time no see, huh? I'm back from my own personal hiatus! Let's get smurfed y'all!
Dean's fluffy robe is literally the first character that appeared on screen I'm so happy!
Is junkfood for breakfast and waking up your brood pretending that you're Hannibal Lecter this show's idea of good parenting??? Does anybody have kids on this show???
I seriously can't wrap my head over the fact that they couldn't bother to give Rio fake scars but they consistently went on with the blackeye. It's just...
The way Beth and Rio are exasperating and exasperated with each other is objectively hilarious and stinks of offscreen fucking tbh.
Oh wait, Kenny's alive and doing games but he's just... no longer living in Detroit anymore????
Wait wait wait, hold on. The Paper Porcupine is within range???? While after biking three blocks it wasn't??? Do they live in the PP??? That would actually explain so much. Also, we as a fandom deserve more Rio x Dean scenes
You know what I think I liked it better when Annie was pining after Dr. Cohen. Chris/Kevin is the most forgettable character in this entire show. Also why does everyone on that show have a weird relationship with whipped cream?
Honestly, Beth has been so terrible at every job we've seen her doing for four seasons, I'm just extremely satisfied that she eventually gets fired by Dorothy, like, finally someone on this show has a faint idea of how real life works lol
OMG they're watching Love is Blind!!! Finally some trash TV that I actually know... I was very invested in the Amber x Barnett x Jessica storyline btw. Also in terms of advertising, it's quite interesting that they switched from NBC reality shows to a Netflix one this season.
Beth realizing that she owes Stan an apology but being so entitled she actually manages to make a non-apology for it is actually one of the most in-character things she's ever done. And it also reminds me Ruby's "I'm sorry" speech to sizzling-plate-prick in season 2, and not in a good way.
THE. SKINCARE/MRA/KEY JANGLERS. CULT
Honestly the best part of this episode is these random men who kneel in front of each other and grab/stroke their thighs in a very pre-blowjob fashion...
Dean pulled solid numbers this week? WHO did he sell this crap to? Like, the Bolands barely have any friends, he doesn't benefit Beth's PTA network, and who would buy skincare products from a stranger with an ankle monitor? I have SO MANY questions
The way the skincare cult leader is totally hitting on Dean just fills me with joy. Dean x being gay when???
Bleugh, Kevin blackmailing Annie into staying just made him the worst love interest this show's ever given her, and there's competition
While I saw it coming right from the start that the moving guys were saying the press couldn't fit the doorframe, I can't help thinking that it's actually miraculous that Beth is still alive and free since it apparently takes her 30 seconds to start explaining her criming to everyone. Like... wtf?
I find it very intriguing that season 1 insisted on Beth's gained independance by learning how to make the DVR work without Dean's help and generally being like "I don't need a man to do my handywork" (no pun intended) while we're witnessing the exact opposite here. Our girl couldn't pick a screwdriver herself to dismount the press, no, it has to involve freaking Dean...
This whole "let's crime happily" with the girls + Dean instead of Rio feels extremely odd tbh. Especially Dean staring at Beth making pulp, it feels like a disgusting parallel with 3.04
But also I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Dean's realization that Beth gets off on crime and him calling her out about this and no longer holding Rio accountable for Beth's nature.
"All this time I thought he was the problem. He's just the excuse"
Pardon me while I pass out, I don't know which ship Dean's the captain of now, but I love that bit
Annie's sarcastic "Really sucks to be you this week" is absolutely hilarious
No but seriously, everybody in this family confesses crime without even being asked to...
Every instant of this thighs ritual/keys ceremony was just priceless
Oooooh, I really like how Beth's "I can't promise you I won't miss crime but at least I'll try" is kinda foreshadowing of her eventual decision to stay in Detroit and keep criming
"Just business" she said, making sure her tits were in full display
Bonus 1: Smurf!Dean getting his MRA initiation
Bonus 2: this episode's bingo card. WE WERE SO CLOSE
#nbc good girls#gg (re)watch#gg season 4#honestly I don't have much to say about that episode#except that I would watch a Dean x skincare cult spinoff tbh#and that Chris/Kevin is the worst
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Describe what would happen if Lily (from "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus") suddenly found herself in cannon Harry Potter world in the middle of his fifth year? Oh, and she can't bullshit herself out of this one for some reason, instead she stays there for a month or two while Rabbit, Lenin, and Trotsky somehow join forces and try to find a way to bring her back. Bonus points if Lily crashes a DA meeting and kicks some peoples butts anticlimactically.
Oh boy, that I’m sure would go so well for all involved.
In the middle, you say? Alright, let’s do this thing. For my sanity I’m going to pretend this taking place in an up to date version of “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” as of chapter 7-whatever we’re on right now.
So, there’s a couple of different ways that Lily can arrive. There’s a few obvious ones that stick out to me.
First, it just somehow happens. Reality’s falling apart in Lily’s own dimension and two seconds away from collapse. Rabbit’s floating around as these things called dementors, eating Umbridge, speaking English all the time, shit’s going down. It’s not all that out of the realm of possibility that Lily accidentally falls into a wormhole which deposits her in canon land.
Second, someone summons Lily. Now, this could either be team good (hooray) or team bad (boo hiss). Lily, being a being of unspeakable power but fairly neutral alignment, could easily be summoned by both. That said, I’m not really sure who to blame the summoning on.
The obvious choice is Harry, because Harry is stupid enough to summon a god to the mortal realm to slay Voldemort and Hermione’s smart enough to figure out how to do that for him. Go omnipotent creature, kill that evil snake man! However, we’re inserting Lily into canon directly, which means no short cuts of Harry having the dumbest idea he’s never had. Otherwise it’s not so much that the Order’s smart enough to know this is a bad idea but that such an idea would never actually occur to them. It says a lot that Dumbledore only ever gives tasks of any importance to Snape, the Order is kind of just... Harry’s glorified babysitters and taxi service.
So Harry and or the Order isn’t summoning Lily to solve all their problems for them. Good on them, smart choice.
Now, what about the Death Eaters and Voldemort?
With the Death Eaters we have a similar problem as the Order. Such an idea would never occur to them or if it would then they’re smart enough to say “NOOOOOOOOOO”. That said, if it ever did, oh Bellatrix would be so down. But only if the being worshipped at the altar of Voldemort’s wonderful... Voldemortness. Whatever it is she sees in him.
Voldemort it depends where you lean on his characterization. We don’t actually see that much of him in canon, barely even hear from him, and we mostly hear about him from a variety of dubious sources (either people who have no idea what they’re even talking about or else Dumbledore who tells Harry this information while actively grooming Harry to kill himself). I’ve seen people characterize canon Voldemort as having once been brilliant but currently mad, as being mad and yet also brilliant despite his many failures, as not mad at all and his schemes are just so intelligent, so brilliant, that none of us can follow them and they all seem to end in failure, and there’s always what I think which we won’t discuss because I look bonkers enough on the internet.
Insane Voldemort might think it’s a great idea to summon some unknown god to stomp all over his enemies. I’m not exactly partial to cookoo bannanas Voldemort but honestly, it’s either him, Lily stumbling through a wormhole, or random kids chanting Bloody Mary in a mirror three times and out comes Lily.
Right, I wasted a lot of paragraphs on that.
Anyways, in the greatest scheme known to man, while Lucius is trying and failing to get that prophecy, Voldemort unearths some ancient text to summon an unknown god. A power that is unknown to mankind. So, I imagine Lily is summoned into canon much like that scene in Ghostbusters where the Sumerian god descends from the heavens. Glowing gate out of nothingness, fog machines, maybe a little less glitter and spandex, and instead Lily having no idea what the hell is even happening.
Lily, realizes she’s in deep shit as she notices Bellatrix prostrated on the ground in worship (of Voldemort of course, not Lily, Lily is just a deity and is nothing compared to the magnificence of the dark lord) as well as the various other Death Eaters all either looking terrified or in mindless awe of their lord’s amazing power. Lily feels like she’s entered Twin Peaks as she eventually is able to put together that the lisping snake man is supposed to be Wizard Lenin/Tom Riddle.
Lily and Voldemort probably have tea or something, but as he’s crazy bananas in this version per my own convenience and he looks like something that eats children, it doesn’t go well and Lily gets increasingly weirded out and convinced she’s in some sort of parallel hell reality that comes about when Rabbit eats the entire goddamn universe.
So much like someone in a surreal horror movie, Lily flees into the night and goes to Hogwarts to see what madness is there. At first, she’s confused, as Hogwarts looks... mostly Hogwartsy. There are some differences. Umbridge is still alive and apparently torturing all the children as opposed to just Lily. The dementors are gone and apparently Black has now been on the run for years. Default doesn’t exist, instead Hermione Granger is still happily in Gryffindor with Luna Lovegood sorted into Ravenclaw. The biggest marker that everything has changed is that Ellie Potter appears to have been replaced by Harry Potter: A boy who looks oddly like Uncle Death.
Now, Lily knows that Death is an alternate reality’s version of her, but this guy doesn’t act anything like him or sound anything like him. Not even a much younger, amnesiac, version. Death... plays quidditch. What is this?
Lily tries to return home but is blocked, realizing this means that the Rabbit explanation is more likely, and in Hogwarts decides to see if she can resurrect something of the world she knows out of this monstrosity or at least see where Wizard Lenin ended up. Rabbit, missing in action, should certainly be hunted down.
Lily decides that her best bet is to tail this Harry Potter, who might be the result of whatever happens when Ellie Potter (the persona) is digested. So, Lily cons her way into being a student, joins Gryffindor, and tries and fails to get into Harry’s friend group. First, though she’s older than the thirteen-year-old she’s pretending to be in her original story thanks to time travel, she doesn’t look fifteen yet either. Second, no one just injects themselves into the Golden Trio.
Still, Lily tries and while Ron thinks she’s damn weird and Hermione finds her suspicious, Lily earns herself a billion bonus points by figuring out that all she has to say is, “Oh gee, Harry, I believe you that this bloke named Cedric Diggory was murdered and Voldemort is back from the dead. It’s so awful the Prophet is calling you a liar now have you happened to see a fellow with white hair, black eyes, might be a rabbit? No? Well, do let me know when you do, because he’s late for a very important date.”
Unfortunately, even being close to Harry, there’s no sign of Rabbit but Lily starts getting pulled into Harry’s woes. She hears about his detention with Umbridge (laughs awkwardly as she remembers what happened to Umbridge in her world), hears about quidditch being cancelled (Lily could care less but pretends to be sympathetic, yes Rabbit-eaten Ellie, it is awful that quidditch is cancelled), hears about Dumbledore ghosting Harry (Lily unimpressed as this is what Dumbledore does), and hears about Voldemort’s mysterious actions of mystery involving glowing orbs.
Lily drops that she doesn’t exactly think Lord Voldemort’s a man with a plan here but that’s not what the gang wants to hear so reluctantly, and unprompted, Lily promises to look into it.
In the meantime Lily attends one DA session, turns it into horrifying dodgeball where the children are traumatized forever (because the patronus, Harry, really? That the grand self defense method against dark wizards we’re going to teach these people. No, no, we have to teach ‘duck or die’. You duck, or you die!) and is politely kicked out by Hermione who reminds Harry that he’s the one who should be teaching self defense and not terrifying transfer students who appear out of nowhere.
So Lily goes to fetch the prophecy instead. Having bullshit abilities and being secretly Harry Potter, in a way, herself she’s able to collect it and hears the thing. She remembers hearing this from her own dimension but decides to give it some more thought, then some more thought, then even more thought. She probably spends half a day trying to decide if this means Lily is secretly a zombie or Harry is the manifestation of her being secretly a zombie because ‘neither can live while the other survives’. Like all of us, Lily eventually decides prophecies are stupid, heads back home, and delivers the thing to Harry who is even less able to understand it than she is. Lily tells him that it probably means he’s a zombie, congratulations buddy, glad that’s been working out for you.
Meanwhile, as Lucius no doubt flips shit that the prophecy is simply gone, Voldemort starts taking action. He sends “I know where you live” letters to Lily at Hogwarts which promise doom and destruction and even more doom. Lily finds the idea of doom squared alarming. So, Lily decides to do what she does best, she sics one Tom Riddle on another Tom Riddle. What could go wrong?
Lily asks Harry if he’s ever seen a diary with the name “Tom M. Riddle” on the inside cover. Harry flips shit and Lily has to talk fast to get him out of believing she’s the devil. When he tells her that Trotsky was murdered in perhaps the most hilarious manner possible in this world (a very true Rabbity end for him) she nearly gives up when impossibly she catches another hint of Tom Riddle in the air. She follows it to the source, the old Default Common room, and finds a very pretty tiara that Tom Riddle stuffed himself into.
Lily wakes him up in a very jarring manner, tells him that the other Tom Riddle is out there being Voldemort while he’s stuck here in a sad little crown, and tells him that it’s clearly his right to go beat the shit out of Voldemort to take what’s his and never bother Lily again. Tom is very, very, very confused. Instead of doing that he decides he’s going to stick around Hogwarts. That was not in Lily’s plan.
Forced, to hide his identity, Lily introduces him with the good old Albanian refugee trick. Only, without the excuse of A.L.F or Quirrell getting mauled by vampires that just sounds weirder than usual. Lily then backtracks and announces that Voldemort burned down his rural Welsh village (That’s right Umbridge, Voldemort is alive and burning down villages! I will take that detention, thank you!) Mot Elddir here is a true hero for surviving such an awful event and should be placed in Gryffindor now.
Harry is dumb enough though that meeting Tom Riddle face to face, even with blonde hair, Harry can’t quite recognize him though there’s something familiar with this chap.
Dumbledore is not that stupid and starts gagging in horror at the staff table and has his suspicions of this Lily girl being a Death Eater/Voldemort himself confirmed. Dumbledore confronts Lily, Lily plays hilariously dumb, “What Death Eaters, people who eat death? Never heard of it, sounds contagious.” Dumbledore confronts Mot Elddir who just finds this all hilarious and has decided that Lily is his new favorite thing that he’s kidnapping as soon as he discovers what he wants to do with his life. He tells Dumbledore this is the best thing since Christmas, and yes he has many many evil schemes involving all the children (he has none).
Voldemort instructs Snape to poison Lily, and while Snape feels a pang of conscience at murdering children, Dumbledore gives the go ahead in that they’ll send Lily to the hospital wing where perhaps they can then give her veritiserum and get some answers about what the hell Voldemort is up to. Well, Lily gets poisoned and realizes that she has so many enemies now that she honestly can’t tell if it’s Dumbledore (who is her enemy for her having blatantly released Tom Riddle) or Voldemort (who is her enemy because... she’s not actually sure why for that just that she maybe didn’t burn down London). Being Lily, she doesn’t die or is sent to the hospital wing, and just kills herself to wash the poison out. Snape is horrified and astounded that the girl appears perfectly fine. He’s even more horrified as he hears news of what he missed out on while at Hogwarts, Voldemort summoned some great power into this world and rumor has it that it’s loose at Hogwarts.
Lily talks to her newest Tom friend and tells him that if he’s going to stick around he should help her find out who just murdered her and all that. She doesn’t like being murdered, while dying’s alright, somehow being murdered makes it all that much more unpleasant. New Tom is not very sympathetic and notes that he’s here for his entertainment, not preventing her from being murdered. He just spent the past several decades as a crown, give him a break.
Dumbledore decides that time’s up, time to put Harry to the test. Unfortunately, Harry takes this as a moment to go “Welly well well, look who finally has time for Harry Potter? Finally has time to tell him a prophecy HE COULD HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT YEARS AGO!” So, Harry destroys his office. After Harry has his Tommy Wiseau temper tantrum (I can’t imagine it any other way), Dumbledore tries to tell Harry that his new friend (who was so kind to fetch him that prophecy, impossibly, from the department of mysteries) is likely some eldritch abomination summoned by Voldemort from another world. Harry alone can defeat her.
Harry at first is angry and disbelieving. Dumbledore notes that Harry must have noticed that dear Mot is really just Tom Riddle going blonde. Harry is speechless, but it’s all true, and he desperately points out that Tom could have done something to Lily. Dumbledore notes that Lily was weird before Tom showed up, hasn’t Harry wondered why Lily doesn’t ever seem to need a wand? Ever?
Harry is horrified and leaves in a daze. On returning to Gryffindor he confronts Lily and asks her some of what Dumbledore asks him. Lily badly tries to pretend she had no idea Mot was evil incarnate, “Tom Riddle? What? No. No! There’s no way that Dear Mot could possibly be Tom” but has no excuses for why she’s so unbelievably talented. Lily decides to just go for it and explains to Harry that this world isn’t even real, it’s a cheap reflection of what reality used to be, that an extradimensional creature other than her has devoured them all and this thing is the result. Lily’s not sure she can fix it, but she can at least try to find the thing that did this to them.
This is enough confirmation for Harry and, fueled by betrayal, he demands a duel with her. Lily notes she doesn’t want to duel but Harry insists. Rather than do it, she runs away, grabs Tom and notes they’re leaving Hogwarts now. Only, outside of Hogwarts protection, she and Tom are easily tracked down and picked up by Death Eaters.
Tom is vaguely embarrassed by the whole get up, as Lily points out how and why it’s ridiculous, while Voldemort probably circles the pair of them and gives some very menacing lisping speech of evil. Lily points out that this is not her fault, Voldemort’s just weird and Lily kind of likes London, she feels no need to stomp on it.
Before Lily’s forced to kill Voldemort, Rabbit finally shows up, notes that Lily’s the one who’s late, and pulls her into a wormhole.
The other Tom Riddle is left behind in dumb horror, realizing as the seconds tick by, that apparently Lily is not coming back for him.
The end.
#ask#anon#lily and the art of being sisyphus#the order of the phoenix#harry potter#albus dumbledore#rabbit#voldemort#tom riddle#not the most well thought out outline ever but this is a tumblr post guys#i do like how it just became lily hanging out with the horcrux of the week anyway
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