#this is joke don’t answer

[dreadark]

shoutout to this random guy who had to just mind his own business while ivan was right next to him licking the blood from till's cheek

#alien stage #why did he do that. #actually an answer: #i somehow didn't notice till was crying in this scene before #so this was actually ivan trying to cheer him up in his own weird way... #or rather... distract him? unsettle him enough to snap out of it? something like that #and hey he manages. eventually #can't even make joke posts here damn you ivantill #tho he is also just. like that. don’t get me wrong. #alnst

[firestar5318]

What makes something meat or not meat?

#I’m arguing with my gf about protein powder being largely crickets #and therefore being condensed meat #making adding it smoothies and stuff a meat smoothie #and she hates that #but can’t answer my question abt what they are if not meat #this is a joke #vegans pls don’t murder me #meat #philosophy #philosophical #philosophical questions #to meat or not to meat; that is the question #sorry Shakespeare

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hey y’all just a word of advice, when you are answering questions about yourself in a medical capacity to a healthcare employee, assume you are talking to the most literal minded, humorless robot who has no understanding of sarcasm or jokes. Because otherwise if we ask you, say, if you have any objections to receiving blood products, and you say “I’m not a vampire, of course not,” then the person doing your intake is gonna be like “okay sure” and make you down as refusing blood products and it’s gonna hang out in your chart way fuckin longer than it should because you did technically say no. No joke answers please, especially ones that involve making such a ridiculous statement treat surely no one would believe it. Someone is going to believe you.

#people giving jokes as answers to basic orientation questions also!! #sir we need to know if you know where you are because if you don’t it’s bad

[teecupangel]

Ezio as an assassin did provide many funds to different things. His writing most likely is with Leonardo, but also the other projects as well.

People in the future finding this hand writing that Leonardo knew that was funding these things: Leonardo da Vinci was a sugar baby and they need to find his sugar daddy.

Also the things he funded just keep coming out of the woodworks.

This would work so well with the #Da Vinci's secret lover Not-Salai idea.

The sheer chaos @iamnotmyancestor is giving everyone with his ‘almost first hand’ knowledge of specific periods in time will go on overdrive once they learned of letters that Leonardo had saved.

Only for the drama to unfold even further when they have letters written by Salai about how he stole those letters and kept them because Leonardo always burned them to protect ‘your dear favorite patron’ and that Salai believes Leonardo would thank him later on when they’re older and he gives the letters back to him.

It’s a treasure troves of letters written to Leonardo, signed as Ezio Auditore da Firenze, which includes the usual ‘hey, how are you’ which shouldn’t really mean anything but they’re both cagey about it, talking in codes.

It’s gotten to a point where they mistake the code “the Brotherhood is thriving even without our support, our duty is to guide them like a parent would guide a child, not to hinder them or to mold them to our image” and decoded it as “our child has thrived. We did all we could to guide him without hindering him or trying to make him an image of us.”

This makes them think that Ezio is not just his patron or his sugar daddy but that they had secretly raised a child as their own.

This gets even muddled by Ezio talking about Sofia and their children and there’s debates if this means that Ezio Auditore had been forced to marry a woman because he was a noble (or really really rich) or if Sofia is actually part of this love affair or if Sofia is a good friend who is also the birth mother of their children.

And that’s when shit hits the fan and they find the motherload.

Because Salai didn’t just hide the letters.

He hid anything Leonardo did of Ezio. As much as he could.

There’s debates on why he did it.

Because he knew Leonardo would miss them later on?

Blackmail?

Future funds?

Whatever the reasons may be… they finally have a face to Ezio Auditore.

And an unfinished painting of his family before tragedy stuck, including a tear stained letter from Claudia Auditore apologizing to Leonardo about requesting the painting’s commission be canceled and that he can keep the money. That it would be too painful for her mother to see such a painting after the unjust execution of her father and brothers.

How it would simply hurt Ezio to be reminded of how he failed to save them…

The tragedy of Ezio Auditore’s life would capture many…

As well as Leonardo’s sketches of him.

Looking exactly like the man the world had nicknamed’s Leonardo’s Vampire Lover.

And that’s when people start tagging @iamnotmyancestor, asking him both directly and indirectly.

If he was Ezio Auditore.

And Desmond…

… has no fucking idea how to answer this.

#yup #imma end it there XD #let’s be honest #whatever desmond answers #there will be people who don’t believe him #if he says he isn’t ezio #or jokes that he is #or even out himself as ezio’s descendant #Da Vinci's secret lover Not-Salai #assassin's creed #desmond miles #ezio auditore #leonardo da vinci #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #ask and answer

[solargeist]

Thinking abt 3rd life, thinking abt whether or not Scar can remember it in Hermitcraft

EvoAU Grian running away to Hermitcraft, unexpectedly meeting Scar there, remembering everything, but Scar doesn’t know him

#watchers final little joke I guess ! #they didn’t interact much in s6 im making this make sense in my au #evoAU #don’t make me think abt how the other life games tie into this I still have no answers they’re just not real yet #it’s quite sad to me if scar doesn’t remember . that relationship was so important to grian ! rly shaped him. his first everything

[bearotonin-international]

I’m sure you’ve received this joke before but:

Why do koalas only count as Occasional Bears?

Because they don’t have the koala-fications!

Koalas don’t count as any bear because, you’re right, they have no koalafications. It’s panda’s that are the occasional ones

#Please friends please #Don’t make us regret answering this ask #Please just don’t comment your many opinions on our classification of occasional bears #Please #For once it would be lovely to post an occasional bear and not end up regretting it #Thanks for the joke friend #Ask

[dj-wayback]

NS aint that smart, he doesnt even know what sugon is

bumps in the road

#i said no way back was gonna tell a sugon joke and you didnt believeeee meeee. does a gay little dance #Seriously answer 6 month old joke asks i must #ok i’ve been thinking about this comic for way too many days i need it GONE #I’VE REWRITTEN THE DIALOGUE 3 TIMES !!!! it was supposed to be way worse and angstier. but i decided to remove those parts #it’s ok i will just use them in other conversations ^_^ don’t worry about it #(falls over and explodes in a pile of smoke and when it dissipates i am but a little shrimp) #no way back is here #needless separation is here

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

the price of arizona is 1.35 at my local gas station. i propose a coup d'etat.

well it appears that that’s already happened, because apparently the state of arizona is being sold at some random gas station??

and a coup d’etat seems to be the only way that’d occur soooo

#(this is a joke I know what arizona iced tea is) #I had to take the the opportunity though lmaoo #you don’t have to like my jokes…but I do so they’ll continue lmao #just had to add this bc i’m dumb but not that dumb lmao #ask #anonymous #the hellsite answers #arizona #hellsite hall of fame curator’s bullshit

[mint-termsandconditions]

HAPY A-ROPE-MANTIC AWARENESS WEEK!!!

That’s why for this entire week I’ll be posting Rope MF

They’re my only canonically aroace character in my Kirby oc batch (everyone else is up in the air)

after that I’ll be back to Kirby-post that isn’t of related!

Now I’m gonna post 3 fun facts:

Rope MF does not know lgbt terms:

In fact they think Aromantic means that they’re attracted to arrows, which they are not.

2. Rope MF is canonically an adult!

younger than King Dedede and Meta Knight but older than Kirby and Bandana Waddle Dee:

3. As silly as Rope MF is as a concept he’s actually really annoying if he did exist.

Imagine those annoying missionaries trying to spread the word of the lord but instead of god it’s about ropes:

#kirby #kirby oc #waddle dee oc #rope MF #aromantic #I insert a little piece of myself into each of my characters and I decided to give them my orientation #They’re to busy loving ropes to love people #If you’re reading this put Rope MF in the chat #As a joke I was gonna ask people to put asks for Rope MF but tbh there’s nothing to interesting about Rope MF I mean you can if you want bu #It’s probably gonna be a rope related answer #I’m catholic btw so the diss at missionaries is fine enough like it is annoying tho #Don’t bother other people day to day lives if they want to be religious let them choose to be don’t push them #Bandana Dee #meta knight

[cubikzoa]

No but Hannibal and Will are both so dramatic and petty, and in truth, clever and intellectual. I highly doubt their arguments would resort to, uh, culinary combat unless they had exhausted all other insulting options. Like Will is mad bc Hannibal will not let him adopt the 23rd dog in a row and Hannibal is mad that there is MUD on the CARPET and dog fur on his $552239737900 suit. Will puts McDonald’s coupons in Hannibal’s wallet. Hannibal switches the time on every single clock in the house. Will puts ketchup and mustard on his fancy gourmet dinner. Hannibal frames a poster for a local dog catching service.

Will is like “Well we already agreed that tonight we are going to have regular pork” and Hannibal is like “Well I apologize, there’s only one dish on the table that is people-free. So sorry, Will.” Will’s like “Wow Hannibal, thanks for making me a jello dessert for dinner. So nice of you” and then Hannibal says “Gelatin, the main ingredient, traditionally comes from boiling cartilaginous cuts of meat, usually pork. The people-free dish is in fact the water with a mediterranean lime and a hint of mint leaf in it” and Will grabs the frying pan and a potato skewer and leaps over the table

#text #hannibal crack #hannibal lecter #will graham #nbc hannibal #murder husbands #Oh wait sorry hurder husbands don’t want the FBI to get me #hannigram #jokes #fandom jokes #…..does this qualify as a short story bc idk #Fannibals #hannigram memes #nbc hannibal memes #Yeah I did in fact search up if u can make people jello. The answer is yes but it will be a bit softer than regular jello #Bc humans have more collagen in them or smth #hannibal jokes #Hannibal says eat the rude but he never eats Will #……or does he #Where are all the Man Eater by Nelly Furtado fans at rn

[kraeki]

omg thank u for answering. I am interested in any Liverpool ships & fics that are well written 😆 lol whatever fics you like!

Ok!! I mostly wanted to clarify that you were into football slash and not x reader 😅 Both are fine but I only have recs for one 😊

I kept this to recently active writers to make it manageable. Also I tried to complete this without too much thought because otherwise I would spiral but I’m so afraid I forgot someone obvious so apologies in advance 🙏

My favourite (mostly) Liverpool writers are, in alphabetical order:

@blowthemoonout / halfacre

@brinywxter

@erlingshaalands / preachingdoll

@footnotesandendings / inlovewithnight

@immortaltale / perfectpride

januarysveryown

@kloppinthekop

@konstantinostsimikas / anon on ao3 but fic is “static”

@mebiselfandi / peachpulp

suoh

@tl-trashtalk

@trentxaa / baozibb

@ollieflopkins / selkathyouth

@walkon-throughtherain / stardust_66

#also i did not include one of my absolute favourite fics on there because it’s a guilty pleasure only a select few understand 😔 #please author of that one fic please come back and write more please #‘otherwise i would spiral’ lol jokes on me because i am already spiraling #this was an impossible task for me afraid #i have thought about making a rec list so often and always dismissed it because i’m so bad at this business of picking favourites #some pairings i don’t like and don’t read i’m sorry #also some themes i stay away from #pressing post before i tear all my hair out from stress #fic rec #kraeki answers #anon ask

[irlplasticlamb]

Did you go to art uni? What were the most important things you learned?

i did yes :) i think the most important thing i learned is to experiment and to put at least a little bit of meaning behind every element of your art piece — that’s why i got so into animal motifs and flower language, i think they’re such a lovely way to present stuff! but honestly my course was very lenient, it was mostly about you doing you and tutors giving you advice where necessary!

#vic.txt #vic answers #i LOVED uni because i got to spend time amongst other creatives #it was so amazing to sit in the studio drink your monster ultra and work on your art #i genuinely miss it #i ofc don’t miss the stress but the experience itself was incredible #i wish i found a studio like this — just a bunch of people doing art supporting each other and making silly jokes #but alas. i’m very very socially anxious so it’s hard for me to go places on my own and meet people hahah #but yeah i loved uni i had great coursemates and my tutors were some of the most talented encouraging people ever #there was this one tutor i used to argue with a lot but it was always in a good faith and it build some confidence in me when it came to #explaining my work #it encouraged me to accept criticism but also stand by my own

[pixlokita]

You put Fate in the box (ask box), and Fate will touch all your things. That is the consequence you have to live with. I may also touch all of your things while I'm here.

🙂

#cloud #pix answers #You don’t have to send the passive aggressive emoji 😭😭😭 #fr just don’t break any asks tumblr eats most of them already #what things?! I’m broke? I don’t even have a punchline for a joke that’s how broke I am #💖😔 aight

[teecupangel]

Okay. Damn it all, I want AC fluff. Tell me, how do you Haytham would have turned out, if he were an Assassin and married Ziio if he knew she was pregnant with Ratonhnhaké:ton/Conner? Oh! And how would Jennifer act with Ratonhnhaké:ton and Ziio to boot? And fuck it, lets yet Tessa and Edward into this as well, let our boi meet his grandparents! XD

I sorta touched that in A Pirate’s Son so if you’re okay with Desmond bulldozing canon without even knowing the tragedy of the Kenway family, give it a read (or a reread)? XD

That self-promotion out of the way, let’s talk about how we can make this happen without involving Desmond.

For this one, you didn’t ask for Jenny to be trained as an Assassin so we’re going for the route of Jenny not being trained as an Assassin by Edward (although if you want a “Jenny becomes an Assassin” idea, here’s an idea we have before)

This ends with Jenny leaving the Kenway family and becoming an Assassin on her own, against Edward’s wishes. By the time he finally accepts her as an Assassin, their relationship is on the rocks so there will be a lot of repairs that needs to happen first.

But Jenny never hated Haytham and acts as a secondary mentor to Haytham.

In this scenario, Haytham grows up with both Edward and Jenny as his instructors. Birch’s plans are foiled because Jenny found out and took him out as an Assassin and Tessa gets slowly introduced to the Brotherhood to not spook her.

Haytham going to the colonies is because they learned that the Templars are making their move. So Haytham’s canon actions are now on the side of the Brotherhood.

He’s much nicer though but he’s also more reckless, having been influenced by his free sister even though Edward tried to teach him restraint.

His skills would be more on the side of his canon self but he would also use darts and he would use multiple holsters for his pistols. He also has a habit of stealing from others even though he has enough money since the Kenways are pretty rich. He usually steals documents or anything that seems valuable and may provide a clue. If they don’t, he’d just drop them and make it appear like the owner dropped it or left it somewhere.

He fell for Kaniehtí:io hard and asked her to marry him after they slept together, given the excuse of ‘I will take responsibility”. They both know it’s an excuse and Kaniehtí:io rejects his first proposal. He keeps proposing and they actually married a few weeks after Ratonhnhaké:ton is born and Kaniehtí:io saw just how happy Haytham is holding their baby.

That’s when she knew that Haytham doesn’t just fancy her and truly wishes for a future with her.

Edward traveled to the colonies for his ‘retirement’ with Tessa and they build a house in the homestead, acting more as an advisor than a co-mentor to Achilles. Haytham is actually being whispered to be Achilles’ successor. Edward and Tessa spoils their grandchild and Tessa is the worst offender, making the cutest clothes for him and carrying him everywhere even when they all knew he could walk already. Edward tells the best stories according to his grandson.

Jenny only visits when she’s sure her path won’t cross Edward. They’re working on their relationship but she’s not ready to see him in person yet.

She’s not a very affectionate person but her nephew loves him nonetheless because she always tells him the truth and even teaches him a trick or two.

Of course, Ratonhnhaké:ton ends up not being an only child in this one. XD

#not involving desmond is one of the hardest things for me to do #nah i’m joking #i don’t mind XD #i do enjoy adding desmond to everything #assassin's creed #ask and answer #fic idea: assassin's creed #teecup writes/has a plot #ratonhnhaké:ton #connor kenway #haytham kenway

[cataclysmcrows]

Turn boobs on coward

CACKLING. boops are now on. i guess my boobs are too which is a shame. on tdov no less

#alex answers #anonymous #i don’t even want top surgery but i couldn’t pass that joke up

[svsss-fanon-exposed]

Honestly it may not be your intention or of other people in the conversation but some comments around the sqq light eyes post have really rubbed me off the wrong way. I'm saying this with all the respect in the world and acknowledging your post about how you don't condemn harassment, but even before with the curly haired binghe and overall in danmei fandom it feels overly judgey towards westerners. Like these physical characteristics being a result of "whitewashing" when there's examples of official art or asian artists (the ZeldaCW art you linked) being some of the earliest examples. Most of us don't know Chinese, many don't even speak english and have to rely on MTL. I really appreciate this work you're doing and going to the original source, but I'm not into the gatekeeping tone some people are taking. Like, AHA! I knew this and actually all the people who don't are stupid for regurgitating fanon like it's canon. I'll be honest, there's plenty of fanon I don't like nor agree with, and I also make dumb mistakes myself (it's me, I'm one of the people who'd forgotten the hand scar came from jin lan woops). Sorry if this is too long or overly rambly, also feel free to ignore it. I mostly wanted to share this as a PSA that tone matters, be kind to others, and that preserving canon is not justification to regard people who go with fanon with a high brow. Regards, a non white non asian ESL 3rd world country svsss fan that's been in the fandom for a couple years (I point that out because I've seen way too many times any criticism be attributed to butt hurt white americans).

Thank you for your message!

When I make my posts here, I try my best for a neutral, informative tone, but between neurodivergence and linguistic issues, I’m not always certain exactly how it comes across. Perhaps a bit too blunt, perhaps the academic or formal tone I often use may seem stuck-up… really, I don’t have the best sense of it, though I do try quite hard.

I want to provide information here. This is to provide information for a few types of people: those who wish to maintain canon accuracy, and those who wish to know where an idea might have originated whether or not they care about canon accuracy in their own works.

Some people will hold canon as the most important. Others don’t particularly care. Some prefer fanon. How one interacts with fandom is entirely their own decision. My blog here isn’t trying to tell people they’re wrong. Or tell people that I’m better than they are, or that those who didn’t know something was fanon, or who enjoy fanon, are stupid or otherwise less than those who follow canon.

Fandom is supposed to be fun. I do this because I like analyzing things. Because it might be nice to have a record of details to see where trends came from. Even some things, I haven’t been sure about myself until doing the research, and some I’ve been mistaken on too!

Things can get muddled up. Especially when the wiki is updated with fanon information. It’s not hard for something to be thought of as canon when it isn’t, especially if trying to quickly reference something without reading the book again. No one is better than anyone else for what they do and don’t know about a fictional book.

And when it comes to design choices, there’s no need to jump right to whitewashing. A knee-jerk reaction is common in fandom spaces to anything that may be “problematic,” but sometimes a design is just a design. I only went into more detail on the post regarding LBH’s hair texture because that’s something i have experience with, and it’s not something widely known about that there are differences.

At any rate, there’s no reason to be unkind to others. People should be having fun in fandom. Those who wish to stick to canon should respect those who don’t care to, even if it’s not for you.

My posts are not meant to create a moral judgement against anyone.

If you’re using it for anything but information, then you’re using it the wrong way.

I don’t have the best eye for tone, but I will continue to do my best to maintain neutrality, and informativeness. Everyone who makes conversation on my posts, just because you knew something and others didn’t doesn’t make you better than them. It just means you knew something. Just because you didn’t know something, that doesn’t make you worse— it just means you didn’t know.

Let’s not moralize this sort of thing.

Enjoy the novel, enjoy the adaptations and interpretations that you like.

#psa #answered #this also got rambling #really I try not to come off as high and mighty #aside from my intro post which was a joke and playing into peerless cucumber persona #but I don’t actually know if I do a good job at it #I also cannot fully tell if anon refers to my own posts or just to comments on the posts themselves #again I will continue to try my best #sometimes I am not the greatest about getting my intention across #be nice to each other #at the end of a day it’s a silly little novel #just have fun and don’t nitpick other people too much since their enjoyment doesn’t really have to do with yours