Thinking about the time I lost a game of Overwatch and I was so mad about it that I genuinely considered getting into shit with the other team in chat and then realized that it was a colossal waste of my living breathing Human Time and uninstalled Overwatch instead because it was only making me angry.
And then thought about the OTHER time when I was on TikTok and realized I was Not Enjoying Myself and was, in fact, seeing so many sad videos and fake influencer ads that I felt Truly Despondent and then just…Deleted it.
Imo I want my social media /general media experience to be a pleasant break from real world and I get to decide what I get to cull to make that a reality for myself. I highly reccomended it! Life has improved considerably!
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i hate that i have no volume control. i try so, so hard to reel it in but when im happy, excited, relaxed, comfortable, etc. i talk and laugh loud. it’s as involuntary as laughter. i don’t realize until i get shushed, then i feel like my heart got stomped on. it’s so frustrating because i KNOW it is annoying but can’t seem to help it. getting called on it always takes me from happy to feeling awful in a millisecond
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Stop misappropriating the abuse and trauma cults use through purity culture for your stupid fucking shipping discourse? Holy fuck no wonder everyone hates this whole discourse.
Since when is "priests getting shuffled around after raping kids and kids being told they're sinful because they had bodily reactions to being SAd" comparable to "Bobo the clown said my ship was cringe"
I'm not gonna answer this with The Aristocrats, as a I threatened, because I want to make a very serious point to this anon:
Purity culture isn't just religious abuse. It is most widely connected to religious abuse. Including actions in the Catholic Church and all fundamentalist Christianity. It's entire existence is about terrifying and indoctrinating people into being fearful of their own actions and bodies so that they feel certain that moving out from the "umbrella of safety" (to use a fundamentalist term) will result in them being harmed in ways they can't imagine. This is generally happening at the same time as they are being harmed by those who are supposed to be keeping them safe from all those terrible, worldly evils. Like speaking up when you're being abused. Believing you are not responsible for the actions of a rapist, and many, many other things that any person with an ounce of self-worth and good sense (two things not allowed in fundamentalist circles) knows are true in abuse situations.
But the point of the purity culture as identity in the above-mentioned circles is to teach people from birth that they aren't to have their own feelings, ideas, or instincts. They are only to follow the feelings, ideas, and instincts on the approved list in order to stay within the structures they know and feel safe in even as they feel very unsafe.
That being said:
Purity culture can also exist WITHOUT a religious structure while still being about controlling the thoughts, feelings, and actions of everyone within it. In terms of fandom, purity culture is groups of people stating that if you write something uncomfortable or gross or immoral, then YOU must be uncomfortable or gross or immoral and therefore, not worthy of the safety and moral superiority of the group.
Purity culture without religion teaches black and white thinking, encourages thought policing, and shames anyone who steps outside of a very narrow definition of good and bad by turning an entire group of people against them for being "bad".
Just like in religious circles.
Just like in the cult of fundamentalism.
Purity culture is a term taken by fundamentalists and turned into a whole way of life because the goal of fundamentalism is to make people too scared to leave. Purity culture in fandom does the same thing. It uses fear and threats of abandonment/harassment to control the way people act because a group of people decided they didn't like something, so they must try and wipe it out rather than simply ignore it.
I am not mis-using the term because "Bobo the clown said my ship was cringe." My use of the term is intentional and precise because what is happening in fandom spaces now is non-religious purity culture cult thinking. My use of the term does not invalidate or water down the use of it in conversations about religious abuse and trauma. With or without religion, purity culture is a dangerous cult of "us vs them" that is built to demoralize and eradicate those deemed unworthy.
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I dint know how to say this but women who wear men's clothes make me feel like I'm a fan of them like I feel like a young girl with a crush on a celebrity like fangirling but for masc women
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my favourite headcanon when dealing with whatever the hell mcyt’s names are is that everyone just has a fucking universe assigned string of characters (the username) which everyone knows and is what the universe calls you by, but serves no actual functional purpose by itself
in society, the username is used as the legal name because its convenient - at any given point a username is unique to one person and you can easily identify someone by username
but obviously, the username is random and as a casual name it may not work - “Grian” is a fine name but “BdoubleO100” is a nightmare to say, so people develop nicknames based off these. some people go as far to have nicknames completely divorced from their username - e.g. “Jimmy” for “SolidarityGaming”
usernames probably bring up a lot of questions. they seem random, not affected by environmental or genetic factors in any discernible way. they’re more likely to contain words - or things that are kind of like words - than a truly random string of letters. I imagine there being a lot of meaning ascribed to them - like certain numbers symbolising certain things or certain words detailing something for your future. example: people with “7” in their name are more serious (supposedly. it’s kind of equivalent to our zodiac signs. belief varies)
I like to think about all the implications of this naming system. xB off-handedly said that Joel’s username is “SmallishBeans” so he’ll only be calling him “Beans” and not “Joel”, does this imply that some people believe your nickname must be derived by your username and consider nicknames that aren’t illegitimate? what about people that want to change their username? there’d be less name changes than our world (since names aren’t family or gender related) but it’s certainly possible (as you change the username of your minecraft account), but is there a stigma against it? rejecting the very name the universe gave you? are “rare” names (such as with small character count or palindrome etc) considered lucky or unusual?
(using the term “nickname” for ease of understanding because that’s our closest equivalent but in-universe this isn’t really what they are. better term “casual name”? “nickname” implies it isn’t your real name or is a cute shortening, whilst this would definitely be considered your name, just one of two types)
i just have… thoughts.
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Also something really important I want to point out about Aziraphale's religious trauma.
It's often framed as him being directly abused by Heaven, generally emotionally. And while I don't doubt he's been belittled at points - probably not by Gabriel, the iconic exemplar of the Toxic Positivity boss, but we know how Michael and Uriel etc. can be - it also seems like he's received quite a lot of praise and has generally managed to pull off the appearance of being A Good Angel, or at least a satisfactory one. I don't think, and this is controversial, but I don't think Heaven was usually overtly hard on him.
Because that's not how this kind of cult mentality usually operates. Instead, it teaches you to abuse yourself. Your overseers don't have to directly hurt or insult you if you're so ingrained with fear of failure by the culture you were brought up in that you constantly question yourself as not good enough.
It's not as... satisfying, I guess? As an external abuser being the main issue. But it's a lot more real. At least to me, because I suffered so much anxiety over being 'good' when I was a kid, and it wasn't from direct abuse. It was absorbed from the culture I was surrounded by. I picked it up by osmosis from society at large, and it tormented me. I worried, I doubted, there was a time I literally feared going to Hell. And I wasn't raised strongly religious. My mother certainly treated me as a Good Kid, and never gave even the suggestion that I wasn't. But I felt that way anyway. And it tore me apart. Because internalizing that shit makes it so much harder to fight.
And to be clear at this point, I am not saying Heaven isn't abusive. I just think the nature of its abuse is more subtle and insidious than it's often given credit for. And - this is even harder to accept, but it's true, and it's important - it's not just abusive to Az. All the angels are victims of it. Yes, even Gabriel. The moment he, one of the most powerful forces in Heaven, steps out of line, we see that no one is exempt. Never even mind Muriel, who is literally on the lowest rung of the Heavenly ladder and has probably never been told they're worth anything beyond being, you know, an angel, so at least you're better than humans and demons.
It's a contrast with Crowley, who has long since accepted most (not all, there are definitely some deep issues remaining, but they're nothing like Aziraphale's) of his internal doubts and struggles. His fears are almost entirely external. He doesn't beat himself up if he fucks up. He doesn't have to. There are people happy to beat him up for him. So when things go really bad for him, his instinct is to run. To get out of the way of harm as much as possible.
The fact that Aziraphale is harder on himself than anyone else could be is a vital part of his character. He self-punishes. He self-criticizes. He feels awful every time he breaks the rules in the slightest, even though he isn't usually caught at it. Crowley can find some safety in solitude if he keeps his wits sharp and his head down. Aziraphale can't, because he carries Heaven's conditioning with him at all times. He doesn't need oversight, it doesn't take external threats to keep him in line. You don't need direct threats when literally everyone in your celestial workplace has seen firsthand the consequences of rebellion.
I don't know if I'm making sense here. Again, this is informed by personal experience and I can't claim to be unbiased. But I see so much internalization with Aziraphale. He literally can't even accept praise without being nervous as hell, and I don't think it's fear of punishment or ridicule that's his primary motivation. He simply cannot ever be good enough for himself.
That's how they get you.
Anyway, I think it's why his reaction to disaster is the opposite to Crowley's, why he feels he has to turn and face it and somehow avert the horror (or, alternatively, find some way to reconcile it in his head and accept it - because let's be real, that's often what happens) rather than get himself away. He's less afraid of failing his superiors than he is of failing himself. And God, who is, objectively, the biggest abuser in the entire story.
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What would it be like if people in your community looked out for you?
What would it look like if people outside your most-texted friends and closest family knew you and were invested in your wellbeing and were willing to make deliberate effort to contribute to it?
What would a healthy supportive community, full of a wide variety of people who aren't all necessarily friends, look like?
What would make your community more like that?
What structures or opportunities already exist that might enable that? Are they sufficient? Why or why not? If you don't know what kinds of organizations etc exist in your community, how could you find out? If they aren't sufficient, what could you do to contribute or create new opportunities for relating with each other?
What barriers interrupt opportunities for healthy connection and support in your community? What would effectively addressing those barriers look like?
What would be the easiest possible first step that one busy person could take to start to make your community more connected? Can you think of anything that you personally could do?
What kinds of skills or ideas would be necessary that you can't provide? How could you find people with those kinds of skills or ideas who are also interested in community care and who might be willing to work together?
You're probably marginalized by at least one form of oppression. Most people are. You're probably busy and tired. Most people are. What would make it possible for you to contribute anyway? What would make it possible for other busy tired people to contribute?
If you want your community to care for you—if you need that, as I'm convinced all people do—you might have to figure out how to care for your community first. If you wanted that, how would you start?
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