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#this is just so messed up tho like god. i rlly hoped he wasnt in the scene when it happened but :
penguin--person · 8 months
Note
I’m mad happy your fic is still up I thought it got taken down or smth 😭 I literally requested to have an acc on AO3 just so I could read your fic. It is very good, feeds the brain worms
omg thank you so much!!!!:3!!!!! teehee!!!! i appreciate it so so so much!!! im writing another pafl fic rn (temnova centered) so tomorrows chapter is . not gonna come out tomorrow so sorry . but !! but . the temnova fic is p swaggin if i do say so myself.. n its already like halfway done ! wont take much longer n right after ill go n continue swap:3 ill also draw smth for it maybe... bc your nice words rlly made me happy . m. im gonna ramble about these two under the cut, and how i hope to portray them (mostly through yuras perspesctive tho, not gonna be having much of dimas for some time) n such !! teehee
so !! cleave by tart is a good song n it made me. delve into yura x dima a bit. while im not a big fan of the ship, i Am a fan of the song! i wouldnt have made yura crush on him if i wrote it now lol BUT i still think its cool . so . this also might be a bit spoilerish?? but god this fic is long i wanna talk about it!!!
dima, does not recipocrate. he does not feel the same as yura. does not like him all that much, if hes being honest. yes, he fed him and gave him a place to stay for the night, but, come on have you seen yura !! most suspicious guy around. thinks he's up to something, that he knows he's a mutant, that he wants to report him etc. yura doesn't know this though. yura himself doesn't even rlly knows how he feels towards dima. its. dima is a mutant - yura can't like him, yea sure lapses in reason can be pretty fun, but, he can't like a mutant, especially not one so lame, yea? especially one that sucks so bad at hiding that he's a mutant. but. even though he can't like him ... he can't help but blush ... he can't help but feel silly around dima ... little does he know what he feels isn't rlly love.
so. yuras messed up. depression n all that. speaking from experience, it's easy to feel like you're beyond saving when depressed and such, that you've fucked up too much, that this is it, nothing will ever get better, all that shit. he sees dima, this mutant on the run that throws up every five minutes. and it's obvious he's worse off than yura. so. in a lapse of reason. he thinks, "Oh! If i can help him, if i can take even the slightest care of him, if i can get him better, then. that means i'm not beyond saving, either. if i help him it'll mean i'm ok. that i still have a chance." . and just . smth like a bit of a hero complex moment. but dima is a BOY and yura is a boy TOO so he CANT LIKE HIM!!! because that will be GAY and yura is a young slavic teen lol of course hes got some homophobia shit going on. internalized, repressed, whatever it is its NOT good !!!
yura doesnt rlly love dima as much as he loves the idea of proving that he can prove something to himself, in short ❤️or Something like that. only knew him for a week anyway and for half of it dima wasnt all that concious. dont know if this makes sense. 👍
dont know if any of this makes sense but !! thank you again!!! :3 i appreciate it lots!!!
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ryoceann · 3 years
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According to this call sheet, Jensen and two other actors were being rehearsed for a scene when the accident took place. (x)
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sakuatsutingz · 3 years
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Sorry for being specific but Can I request Atsumu and Kageyama with a fem!crush who is the top female highschool volleyball player and is the only female invited to the National youth training camp and basically they were paired together for training or something? Thank youuuuuu 💞
hand in marriage anon ?? also the trainings mentioned below were from my own experience in vb training camp !! enjoy bbies <3 aLSO ATSUMUS PART GOT SELF INDULGENT SORRY YALL - jamie
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atsumu & kageyama with a crush who was invited to the youth training camp
masterlist here request or talk to us here
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atsumu
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before we start can we appreciate the photo of tsumu like bc THATS MY MAN -jamie
you were a second year volleyball player in itachiyamas girl vbc
and it just so happened you were the top highschool female ace and server in all of japan !!
but atsumu’s never heard of u because he was too focused on his own competitors
and so when you walked through the doors of the gym, he was confused
everyone was confused
why is a female here ?? in a training outfit ?? 
answer was the female’s youth training camp was canceled due to the lack of eligible female players
and it just so happened you were the only one eligible for a youth training camp so you were redirected to the male’s youth camp
and thus u were the only female invited to the camp
searches how to be a y/n ...
let’s just say you were friends with sakusa and komori and they were the only ones in the camp informed of you being a part of it
and when you entered komori jogged up to you with a wave and greets u !! <3
“hello everyone !! im l/n y/n, i look forward to training with you all !!” “wAHH A GIRL IS WITH US ??” “WE GOTTA IMPRESS HER GUYS HOLD UP”
when atsumu saw u something inside him just felt good ??
like why does he suddenly feel like the world got just a bit brighter whenever he sees you
inwardly panics in jealousy when he sees u with sakusa and komori during lunch
he assumes you must be rlly good in vball because how else would one girl out of all be invited to a national camp meant for boys ??
the first time you guys talked was basically in a practice match
you were the temporary captain of your team and he was the temporary captain of the other team
before the match started you both shook hands like the good captains u both are lowkey wheezing abt how that was a fat lie
“let’s have a good match now, miya !” “u-uh, yeah- same for yer’ team.”
he wasnt his usually flirty self around you BYEHAHHABDBF
he was trying his hardest to actually look smooth and talk to you 
but he fails 99% of the time and his crush for you just grows even more
but on the last day of training, the serving practices basically required a partner on the opposite side of the net
your mental list of desired partners slowly narrowed as they all got their own parters, leaving atsumu for you to ask
when you went up to him with a smile he short circuited
pls help him he’s malfunctioning
“oi, miya, do you wanna be my partner ?” “yeah, yeah.”
DONT BE FOOLED BY HIS OUTER SELF HES LITERALLY DYING INSIDE
as the practices started he didn’t know what this boy has gotten himself into
atsumu is the top male highschool server
and he just so didn’t know his own partner was also the top female highschool server so it turned into a competition REAL QUICK
god damn this boy needs to read the volleyball magazines more ..
“hA YOU WERENT ABLE TO RECEIVE THAT BEAT THAT LOSER” “iTS JUST A FLUKE ILL BEAT’CHA JUST YA WAIT”
you guys turned into best friends real quick bye
sorry not sorry komori
after a long day, you were already in the bus station abt to go home
it was basically atsumu’s last chance to actually talk to you before he has only luck to see you again
so he went up to you in the bus stop like the smooth boy he is
spoiler, he wasnt. he looked real awkward tryna sit next to you
you were just scrolling on your phone until he asked u out which made u choke on AIR
like dude r u fr ??
“so um, y/n.” “yeah ?” “go out with me.”
he’s literally a blushing mess good bye
you smile bc u were literally hoping he would ask u out before u went home
you kiss him on the cheek and say yes <33
HOW TO GET AN ATSUMU MIYA IN YOUR LIFE ??????? THIS IS FUCKINMG UNFAIR
a bonus “why do you have l/n as your phone wallpaper, ‘tsumu ??” “SHUT UP ‘SAMU”
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kageyama
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okay so youre a first year and still the top ace and server in highschool ykyk
but this time you were on shiratorizawa’s girl vbc !!
you got invited to the camp cause they needed another person for an even number but couldn't find a male
so you got invited
kageyama would probably know who you are already
he’s been to one of your games in the nationals and that’s where his crush started <33
like he seemed to pay much more attention when it was your turn to serve !!
he wasn’t exactly oblivious about his own crush on you but he is definitely confused on why does he look at you like you’re the only player on court
it was kinda obvious so when hinata pointed it out to him it just clicked
oh shit ,, he does have a crush on y/n l/n
literally panics on what to do with it but honestly he doesn’t see you much unless you guys are on the same court
which is exactly what happened in the national youth training camp because you guys are ON THE SAME COURT
he got really flustered about it, thinking that he was to spend the next few days with you
when you get partnered together he got very quiet at first
ya'll got partnered because kageyama didn't want to ask anyone so the coaches put you together
"why did it have to be her?" "she's going to find out ,,"
very shy around you at first
but eventually once you two get comfy he becomes more like his usual self
he's a lot more caring and observant when it comes to you
i mean a lot
he would offer you to join his table during lunch
your both very good servers, so you help each other practice serves
you would need to be the one to ask him out
probably would be second to last day of camp or the last day
"hey kags? would you wanna meet up after the camp ends? like a date or something."
boy would malfunction right then and there
it would take him a moment, but would eventually accept <33
doesnt talk about it when he gets back to karasuno
but the others on the team can just s e e somethings different
he seemed happier and more motivated then usual
we all know hinatas gonna spill about his crush on u tho just saying
cause u both made a promise to see each other at nationals finals !!
and he wanted to keep that promise <33
a bonus “kageyama-kun, was that l/n from shiratorizawa you were talking to ?” “wAIT WHAT I DONT KNOW HER UM” “but you even hugged her ..”
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iicytodoroki · 4 years
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pregame; atsumu miya (nsfw)
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‧₊˚ ↱ ᵕ̈ summary: ❝ ya ready to go to suna’s for pregame, right? ❞
‧₊˚ ↱ ᵕ̈ warnings: explicit scenes (use protection!), explicit language, mentions of drinking, f! reader, some degradation, some possession, use of pill vibrator, fingering
‧₊˚ ↱ ᵕ̈ wc: 2990
‧₊˚ ↱ ᵕ̈ a/n: sorry it look me ages to get this done, i rlly wasnt inspired to write smut during that time, so everything i wrote just didnt flow right; so hope you enjoy tho!
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You could only just cross your legs as you leaned against the wall, looking across the room. Leering eyes sharpen when Atsumu catches your gaze. A smug look as he looks down and back directly at your (e/c), darkening with a knowing thought. Holding his gaze, challenging him to just try you. But this is your boyfriend we are talking about. He loves a good challenge. Slowly he reaches into his pocket, eyes darkening. You can imagine hearing the slow click, click of the dial turn. The aching buzz against your soft, velvety wall now growing with each click of the remote. Your thighs clutching tighter to help the unsatisfied ache and to prevent the drench seeping through your bottoms. 
The vibrating pill was too much for your sensitive walls. Atsumu had to push it in deep to make sure it’s between your rings of muscle so each time you clench harder, the sleek pick just keeps going in deeper, sending intense pulses all around.
It was less than an hour when Atsumu coaxed you with his fingers on the drive here. The pisshead loved rubbing his thumb on the inner, sensitive flesh of your thigh as he drove. But since you were so busy texting the group chat about everyone’s wins, he just has to slip his thick, calloused fingers past your panties. 
First, rubbing your sweet button with his thumb, obviously tearing your attention away from your phone. Frowning at what he’s trying to get at, your face could only flush. Next, shoving two fingers in after he feels the slick collecting on his palm. Atsumu’s warm hands contrasting to his cold, metal rings added to your lewd gasps and uneven breathing. Sensing how much you want more of his nationally acclaimed fingers, he drastically sped up his pace. He was shoving two fingers in you then three while being attentive to your nub. 
Your body temperature and heart rate was so rapid now. The shoving force of his hand trying to make sure all his knuckles are in and pushing against your velvety walls was too much for a short amount of time. Atsumu was smugly driving with one hand of the wheel, smiling to himself knowing he made you a quivering mess within minutes. Every glance he took to the side, his pants just got tighter and tighter. You looked so good trying to ground yourself by grasping the grab handle above you for dear life. Your whimpers and moans for more ignited his need to to take you. Now. 
But sadly, the car came to a halt. You two arrived at Suna’s flat.
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Walking in all cheeky knowing you never got your release, he just gave you his shit-eating grin as you both walked in towards your old high school friends. Atsumu gave you a peck on the cheek as he sauntered off to go play around Aran, Suna, and Osamu in the living room. You gave an extra heated glare at the back of Atsumu’s head, conveying how mad you were for interrupting you. But as you got up to go to the kitchen, you failed to notice his fingers in his pocket turning on the remote. 
In the midst of bending down to get water from the fridge, tingles from the base to the top of your spine shot up shivers. Then that’s when you froze wide-eyed of the familiar buzzing inside your still sensitive wet, warmth. You remember Atsumu was cleaning up slick juices since you were mad at him causing such a mess, plus he insisted. Still in a daze, your cunny still remembers his presence and was dripping enough that your scheming boyfriend slipped his favorite traveler’s toy in you. 
That fucking idiot
You could only curse him out in your head and send glares his way. Only for him to give an oh-so-loving smile from a boyfriend, turning back to laugh with his friends. Which now led you to stand around, idly chatting with other members, all hiding the fact you keep crossing your thighs in order to relieve the subtle need to clench around the very prolonged vibrations. 
Maintaining your intense, anger-filled gaze at Atsumu, his own golden hues just darkened in response. To him, his appetite has now become insatiable. How could you be so tempting? Just by staring at him. Those lust-filled eyes and scarlet overcasting your radiant skin. 
Oh, you’re so ready
Atsumu got up from his seat, his friends not noticing his sudden parting. He occasionally gave nods of acknowledgement, but most of the time he just stared at you, yearning for your adorable reactions. Now he has you in the palm of his hand. Primed for his much needed savory appetite.
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“‘Tsumu, what the actual fuck --,” you hissed. But he quickly took your arm into the master bathroom. 
The slam of the door and click of the lock reverberated against the pristine walls. Only the view of his broad, toned back was visible. For a second you thought you made him mad, but then the soft humming and fluttering of your wet walls, which are also starting to leak out onto your thinly laced panties, grounded your mind again. Before you know it, Atsumu firmly grasps your hips with both his hands, digging in to make sure to keep you in place. Oh they are for sure going to bruise in the morning, yet your lower abdomen just got tingly at the prospects. 
“Ya know,” his hot breath dancing across the die of your neck, “I’ve been waiting til we got home after the party…”
Atsumu hands’ ghostly touch roamed up until his thumbs reached your underboobs. With each word he gave you hot neck butterfly kisses, while his thumbs roughly circulated your sensitive buds through the fabric.
“But you looked so desperate for my cock,” with a sudden bite and suckle at the junction of your neck, tongue smoothing with his slick over the blooming mark. Shivers down your spine from the cold and meek whimpers made by you
He continues, “like the needy slut you are.”
While your mind was focused on his attentive lips, you failed to notice the tossed skirt in the clawfoot tub. Next thing you know, Atsumu carelessly ripped off your blouse, his mouth was watering just the sight of you, pussy gleaming as the pill continued, and chest heaving from the soft, but sensitive touches. His cock ached so much being constricted. He glanced back to your face where he can read in your darkened eyes, you needed him now.
“‘Tsumu, please hur--,” not needing to finish your sentence Atsumu attached himself to one of your breasts, while the other was mercilessly pinched and rubbed to relieve the pain, over-and-over. Saliva from the rapid lapping of his tongue absorbed the cold draft, perking them. Perfect for the graze and pull of his teeth, eliciting a series of high-pitched mewls. All directed to his throbbing cock. 
Urgency finally took over your still foggy mind, nimble hands were able to tug at Atsumu’s dress shirt, reveling at his godly-sculpted body. His being just surrounds you, eyes focusing on the glistening sweat that’s perspiring all over his torso. Smirking at your glossy eyes that seem to scale all over his body he comments, “Like what you see?”
Before he could get an answer, your (e/c) caught the bulging tent of his pants. Just seeing how large the bulge is got you panting more whilst rubbing your thighs. 
Just imagine him and the pill inside...at once
While your eyes were trained on his cock, Atsumu unzipped and discarded his bottoms to the side. Standing in all his glory was his raging, red head of his cock, glistening in dripping pre-cum. A thickness you’ve never gotten used to, always need to be prepped for what feels like hours, with a protruding vein just underneath. Just remembering the rough drags that vein has against your spongy walls could make you cum right now. 
“Now, now, as much as I love you admiring my cock, I’d love it even more inside this tight pussy of yours.”
As he said this Atsumu turned you around to face the large bathroom mirror, while he atrociously shoved his thumb, index, and middle fingers up your cunt. Rapidly raking inside in the search for the pill.
“Ah! nghh--’Tsumu..!!”
“Wait a sec babe,” he kissed your temple as he smirk knowing your knees buckled, “I need to take it out first.”
In reality, he did find it, but he wanted to keep messing with you. You were making such pretty noises and your face, god he could see the mix of frustration and pleasure written on there. He kept aggressively shoving his hand while scissoring his fingers inside, insisting he couldn’t find it yet. Atsumu’s brute force and the deep intense vibrations built you up to a warm coiling in your lower abdomen. (s/c) hands clutched onto the edge of the counter in anticipation.
After what felt like brutal hours of aggressive to slow fingering, he finally took it out. So sudden, yet so close, he didn’t—would not—let you release.
All you could hear was your heaving breath and the squelching noises of your arousal, a string still connecting to the vibrating pill. Atsumu seeing how all your juices messly attached around his hand made him salivate like a man out in the desert. Your aroma wafted around both of you, igniting this primal need to delve into you and the sinful noise of your pussy, looking for something to fill it. A need to relieve its emptiness.
“Miya Atsumu, you’re an actual douchebag,” you said in frustration.
“Oh really? Then I guess I better treat you,” he brought one hand to the front and another crawling up to your blooming bruised neck.
Enticed at his movements, you watched in the mirror as he opened your lips. Pink, fleshy muscles clenching at nothing. That is until you see Atsumu’s cock slicking himself with his precum and your nectar. He let out a deep groan upwards just at the feeling of the heat your pussy gave away. 
“F-fuck y/n, you’re so wet, mmghh,” he moaned.
Biting your lip and stifle a broken moan, Atsumu entered inside, quickly becoming overwhelmed by the tight fit of his cock. No matter how many times you guys fucked, his girth always stretched you out, his plump head had to be thrusted through each muscled ring. All the while your walls kept fluttering around him. 
Atsumu’s forehead was now in your shoulder as he bit and licked the area as he thrusted into you, your hips ringing against the marble sink. Wet skin from arousal and sweat tingly as he pulled back to shove in deeper. 
Feeling all of his ridges grazing inside you.
Your fleshy walls pulsate around his cock as he eases himself into you inch by rough inch.
 “Nghh, ‘Tsumu,” you gasped at another harsh thrust, “I need you, I—I ah…!!!”
You were desperately calling for him to be inside you and shove himself all in so you can finally feel him. Just then, he sheathed himself in you. Your jaws opened in a silent cry of a moan, eyes starting to roll back at how--big and thick-- he is against your walls. Every ridge, every vein was easily recognized. You were so stretched from his sudden intrusion, it slightly burned, but pleasure soon seeped its way in. 
“Y-ya—nghh—tight!!” he panted leaving a trail of reds and violets down your neck.
Then feeling him vigorously drill into you, you look down to see his thick cock pushing in and out of your cunt. One hand holding your hips to help him thrusting into you faster. 
Overwhelmed and wanting to make this more pleasurable, your head slumped down to let you hurriedly thrust your hips back. You could feel his thick head kiss your cervix, your walls won’t let him go; even the muscley rings he had to go through contracted, so each pull-back his head just tugged on it. Every plunge of his sinful hips probed against your sensitive spot, intensifying the flames of your pleasure.
The way you feel him all around you and inside you, his heavy cock twitching with each whimper, he growled against your neck to pinch your nipples harder. Causing you to writhe in oversensitivity. 
You let out a pornographic moan, bouncing off the walls.
 “Nghhh!!! ‘Tsumu—!!! Harder!!!” you were raptured in ecstasy. But you need more.
“Look at you, desperate for my cock like the slut you are,” he murmured.
 Two fingers push past your swollen lips from constant biting and force their way to the back of your throat. Atsumu hummed in satisfaction as you began to hollow your cheeks and suck as if it was his cock in your wet cavern. Throaty moans would come out from the intense thrusting into your cervix and down your throat.
Huffing and groaning at how close you were, Atsumu used both his hands to lift your hips a little higher, now on your toes, to slam into you harder.
 “Shit, y/n, look at yourself,” he huffed, “f-fucking milking my cock…”
 He groaned, “all of t-this,” he pumped upwards, hitting that one spongy, delicate spot, “is mine, shit! nghh—this cunt is mine only.” 
His cock was impaling you with such a force. He was mindlessly jackhammering into your soft, overworked hole. Your juices have long been trickling down your legs. Allowing his cock to easily slide inside faster and harshly.
Two digits made their way to your swollen button. With his thumb he hastily rubbed down with endless figure-eight’s. Atsumu let out a muffled moan at how your pussy clasped around him.
Your cute little hole is so tight and hot. I could just drill in deeper, wanna fuck you harder.
Atsumu loved that look on your face through the mirror. God, he was so thankful he faced you that way, cause now he can see every fucked-out look you had. Each moan, each mewls from stimulation. Your heaving chest against your bouncing breasts from his thrusted looked amazing to him. Because only he can make you like this. Into this mess only thinking about his cock.
“Look at your greedy fucking cunt, look at yourself in the mirror, taking everything I give you,” he growled in your ear as his callous fingers fervently rubbed your clit.
Looking up, set your stomach feverish lust. You could not even keep yourself up, it was your luscious boyfriend pounding you against the sink that kept you from falling. 
It was then Atsumu had this surge of carnal desire, his atrocious thrusting became even more feral. Skin slapping with skin seemed to be louder than your moans and groans. Your mind could only see him, only Atsumu’s body surrounding you, and nothing else. You were so ready to snap, so close to breaking apart, the coil below was agonizingly tight to burst. But you wanted something else too. Needed it.
Using whatever strength you had left, you reached back to tug his sandy-blonde hair to pay attention to your voice, than licking all the violet blossoms on your abused neck.
 “‘T-tsumuuu, please--nghhh…! I n-need your cum baby!!” you moaned without a care how loud. 
 You could feel him smirk against your nape. 
 “Such a dirty slut, do you love my cum inside you that much?” he teased as he slowed down.
“F-fuck!!! Yess ‘Tsumu I fucking lovee your cum…!!” you shouted frustratingly. 
 Hearing those words set aflame in Atsumu, he used both his hands to bruisingly grip you higher and sheathed you down his cock. He reached deeper inside you, his head now continuously rubbing at your cervix. Your walls became even tighter. So his thick shaft and veins were scraping along your wet, fluttering walls each stroke. 
You were a moan mess, eyes shut and mind set on one thing. Your hand was still tugging at the nape of his baby hairs and the other was clawed at his forearm which was used to press down on your swollen, pink clit. 
Shit, I’m there..!! Fuck--I..!
 “‘Tsumuuu!!” you screamed; you were ready and so was he. 
He brought his mouth to your ear, golden eyes now with a sinful glint, his hot breath casting around your ear and neck, “I need you--ngh-- to cum. Now.”
You throw your head to the side of his shoulder, toes curling, and your pussy clenching everything on his cock. Your cunt was milking him for all he got. Your gushing cum didn’t relent. Atsumu couldn’t take it anymore. Everything around him was so tight he barely could move his cock an inch, so hot he needed release.Until he gave in, too. He thrusts himself as deeply as he can, pressing hard against your cervix as you feel thick ropes of hot cum shooting inside of you. He pumped his cum into you, cock twitching as you felt hot gushes of mixed white juices flood your trembling cunt. You were limp but your pussy continued to milk Atsumu who still kept cumming in hot, white ropes inside. 
 His momentum began to slow as his cock was now softening. Both of his strong, sculpted arms support you as you tried to recover. Your head is still in a delirium of what just happened. Atsumu slowly pulled out, a shit-eating grin at his work. Dried cum of yours and his trailed down your legs. And more nectar drips out with your cunt contracting at the emptiness. Before he could shovel them back inside your overly-sensitive pussy, bangs on the bathroom door resonated in the place. 
“Fucking shit Atsumu,” the voice huffed. “We’re ALL fucking leaving without you guys!!”
 Oh my--
...Suna
 Before Suna could leave, he yelled out again, “And you guys better be outta MY bathroom and flat!!”
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thornsofdeath · 4 years
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phf rants
as i’ve made clear im rlly impacted by this book. dont mind my lowkey venting
damn this is long
mista's coldness towards fugo / the stadium scene as a whole
it really really hurt me to see mista treating fugo, his old partner, his old friend like a dangerous enemy. i know he had his valid reasoning, but that very specific kind of angst shatters me. mista had his gun pointed at fugo for the entire stadium scene, not wavering for even a second. the worst part? it seemed like mista was trying to purposefully incite fugo to snap by right out insulting him and his stand, saying he was glad when fugo didn’t get on the boat. it seemed like he was egging fugo on just so he had an excuse to kill him, to get one more thing off his list of concerns. fugo as a person meant nothing at all to mista. when mista said “kill these traitors, or we’ll kill you” i wanted to cry. mista goes on about hoe fugo is a massive threat because purple haze is unhinged and can wipe out the enitre population if he wanted. fugo politely corrects him, as PH only has 6 capsules and can only attack 6 times in a day. did i see myself in that scene and feel fugo’s pain of just wanting to be left alone and not have to think about the past or the future, silent and melancholic during intervention and just feeling like the only way out is to kms right then and there? thats a secret ill never tell.  phf makes me smad.
there were some little details in purple haze feedback that got me thinking as well. in the 6 months between fugo’s leave and his cold reuniting with mista, fugo was playing piano at a bar. Most of the people who bring this up refer to it as just some cool trick he could get because he’s a rich kid. he is not. in flashbacks, it’s shown that bruno only knows how to cope with distress by isolating himself and bottling everything up. god, did i feel that. sheila e’s life goal was to kill illuso (to avenge her sister) and swore her life to giorno after finding out he killed him, it’s ironic though because in reality fugo had killed him, and in the first part of the book, they weren’t exactly friends. 
another part that really just made me wanna sob and bash my head into a wall was seeing fugo’s pure self hatred. since he was a child, he had it drilled into his head that if he couldnt produce results, he was worthless. after being disowned and thrown into jail with no future, he was completely hopeless. even after bruno came and took him in, he was never free of his liabilities. no matter what he did, he couldnt help seeing himself as some monster, failure, and burden. (kinnie moment) it worsened when he had to abandon bruno’s gang, his only saving grace was bruno, his light, hope, and acceptance. now he was stripped of that, gripped in fear knowing too well that betraying passione would end horribly. deep in his heart he wanted so badly to join them, to join his found family, but the logic he had drilled into his own head of knowing that betrayal was foolish and futile wouldnt let him have his way. hes back on the streets, just like how he was (or wouldve been after getting out of jail) after being disowned. he got a piano gig at a bar, and let himself wallow in grief and depression for 6 months. throughout the events pf PHF, we still see him clinging to memories and trauma. they say “what you let consume you will define you”, and i couldnt begin to describe it any better. putting all of the guilt and blame on his own shoulders, feeling he deserved it all and more. 
either i wasnt paying enough attention (this bitch got some rereading to do) or the purple haze distortion scene was kinda underwhelming. his character arc felt kinda rushed, like most of the book was establishing his bad state and constant flashbacks, and then all of a sudden he has confidence in his abilities and believes in himself. of course, im overjoyed he did get growth, and had a happy ending (depends on how you interpret it). stan fugio
vittorio’s fascination with pain really got me feelin. hgghhhhhhhh hh hnnhhhhh. he describes it well, wanting to feel his life force/energy in the form of pain so that he didnt ‘go extinct’, and the writing of it just saying straight up ‘cutting himself’ ‘hurting himself’ ‘self harming’ made my skin crawl. as someone who suffers with shit like that its both painful and relieving to know a character who has similar habits, whether it’s for the purpose of activating his stand or just to cope. 
2 times in phf, fugo does some kind of suicide attack. of course, he survives both. it’s never made clear whether or not he intended to die/didnt mind dying as it was a way of accomplishing his mission, but either way it got me heavy breathing. the last one especially, when he bites a virus capsule to kill volpe. did he know he’d grown and purple haze would miraculously save him with his own genius plan, or was he going out with a bang? luckily for me it wasnt really gone over like ‘hey you couldve died from that are you doing ok mentally’ or else i mightve felt nauseous reading it. im all for angst, but idk how much more i can take when its day 87 of quarantine and im numb as fuck just waiting to break down. 
angelica’s stand night bird flying (is probably not that complicated im just fuckin dumb) made fugo and everyone else hallucinate/dream. in fugo’s dream, it was pretty much an ideal au.  he was permitted to see his grandma when she was near death (preventing the professor scene), met bruno (fisher boy with fisher dad) on a boat and they became friends, nara went back to school and was doing good overall, abba remained a cop but didnt do any bad things, the whole group was all just good friends having a fun time. god i would licherally sell my body and soul for them all to be happy like that and all live. 
the concept of abandonment also messed me up, just the feeling that everyone say fugo as someone who abandoned the group in their hour of need out of selfishness made me wanna cry angry sad depression tears. hes a good man! let him be ok and happy i will fight all fugo haters no cap
every time i think back to the fugio restaurant scene i just. idk man it hurts me. the pessimistic bitch in me says that it would be unrequited and fugo would only be more sad because even through his efforts, he’s just another pawn working for giorno. on the other hand, it makes me soft n giddy because?? omyfucking god giorno asks fugo to call him giogio when NOBODY ELSE IN THE BOOK had referred to him as that. the fuckin “if grief anchors your feet, let me share it” part makes me wanna jusyt. complete my kin transformation into fugo and be a sobbin g  shaking mess in his arms as he tells me its all gonna be ok. was that a vent? absolutely. anyways, its pretty damn special for the don of the mafia to invite you to breakfast at a fancy restaurant before the place opens and its just the two of you. giorno fixes fugo’s injuries and tells him that he’s proud of his growth, and that he knew fugo could do it. dude?????? if i didnt already know i was a lonely affection/affirmation/attention starved bitch that wouldve done it for me.
holy fuck that was longer than i expected it to be. i do feel better tho
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@the aizawa getting kidnapped/quirk stolen/being disappointed in himself stuff,,,,,, he comes back and feels like he isn't enough and that he shouldn't teach 1a so takes time off/leaves the school and 1a are so worried and outraged they basically strike until he comes back. so he comes in to yell at them to listen to their new teacher and then they all bombard him with - (1/2)
- how cool he is and what a good teacher he is and how he doesn't need his quirk to be an amazing hero and they all love and respect him so much (mic and all might get in on this too ofc) and by the end everyone is a blubbering mess and aizawa is there trying not to cry like. okay, i'll come back. and then the teachers go to the staffroom and he breaks down crying becAUSE HE JUST LOVES HIS KIDS SO MUCH ??????????? AND HE'S SO PROUD OF THEM AND THEY'RE ALL SO GOOD and now i am crying too (2/2)
------------
BRO THIS IS SO GOOD IM FYCKIGNNGJKGJNK FUCK
when aizawa gets back after Everything his depression has Kickstarted bc the one thing he held on to (being a hero and protecting the kids from what he and shirakumo went through as ua students) was forcibly taken away from him and now he has no other coping mechanisms
plus having ur quirk like forcibly taken from you must suck so much ass,,like quirks r described in canon to be a physical extension of one’s self so to be violated like that,,aizawa is just not feeling great is all im saying
once he’s back from the hospital (and he actually stays the whole time he was recommended to bc he just. doesnt see the point in leaving early anymore bc how can he protect his kids when hes broken like this) the first thing he does is go to ua to tell nezu he’s stepping down
and like nezu tries to convince him otherwise and it ends w aizawa there the wholeass day bc we all know how long nezu can talk, but aizawa just cant. he and his inadequacy cant be the reason why his kids get hurt any more than they have already
nezu compromises that there’ll be a sub until aizawa is ready to take the mantle back and aizawa is like “im not going to do that but okay”
as he’s heading out he runs into mic and all might and they ask him how he’s doing but aizawa’s Spent bc arguing w ur weird rat dad thing for hours on end is exhausting so aizawa just pushes them off
he’s not even harsh abt it tho he’s just completely tired and all might and mic are Worried
anyway they find out the next day that aizawa is “steppnig down for the time being” and theyre both like oh no. ohh no.
meanwhile in class 1-a the new sub is explaining what’s going on and the kids fucking riot. bakugou straight walks out. midoriya is arguing w the sub abt whats going on and the sub is just like “kid i didnt ask for this i dont know why aizawa’s doubting his abilities right now”
uraraka tsu and iida are like aight we’re gonna head out after like fifty minutes of this and the rest follow. the sub is just like “wtf am i even doing here”
anyway class 1-a strikes like this for a week and so nezu calls up aizawa (who’s been having a Very bad depressive episode at his apartment including ignoring all might and mic’s and even ms joke’s calls) to tell him that his kids r throwing a fit abt having to move on (nezu knows how this’ll end up if he can just get aizawa to go to his kids so he miiight be making it a bigger deal than it is but oh well)
so aizawa storms into heights alliance and hes tired and a lil touched but also hurt bc he cant protect his dumb kids anymore that’s the whole point of this why cant they just accept it
and he has a script in his head of wht he wants to say but when he enters the common room mic and all might r there and midoriya sees him first nd just. stands v suddenly and storms over to aizawa and aizawa is like “oh shit are they mad at me?? i guess they have a right to be but..” and then mido just hugs him
aizawa is like v confused for a couple moments bc what the fuck. the other more affectionate kiddos of class 1-a join mido (uraraka, tsu, ashido, kirishima, etc) before mic nd all might tell the kiddos to give him some space
before aizawa can say anything the kiddos have launched into talking abt how much they missed him and that they hope he’s okay and that he better be coming back to teach soon Or Else and also that they love him so much and they know he went thro a lot but “the sub said they would be there indefinitely but u should have a time limit on ur healing right?? youll be coming back soon?? youre such a good teacher sensei we might be able to do it w/o you there but we dont want to do this without you”. basically what u were saying hhh
and aizawa is just rlly overwhelmed bc he wasnt like expecting this at all. all of his kids have said at least something even bakugou and kouda and he’s just like. bruh.
then mic and all might ask if he’s okay bc they can tell he’s getting a lil overwhelmed nd aizawa tries to respond but he just breaks into silent tears. class 1-a FREAKS the fuck out like “OH MY GOD SENSEI WE’RE SO SORRY ARE YOU OKAY??? FUCK”
and aizawa needs a Second but he’s like “no you dumb brats didn’t do anything i’m just- fuck give me a second” and im,,,
all might and mic hug him then and im emotional. i am emotional!!!! we are crying in this chilis tonight.
anywya the kiddos keep going on abt hwo much they care for aizawa all night nd aizawa crashes on the couch surrounded by all his dumb kids and all might nd mic
when he gets up the next morning he goes to ask nezu abt maaaybe teaching again nd nezu smiles into his teacup knowingly
anyway im so fucking emo dude. dude
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lovedeluxe92 · 5 years
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okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with
i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with
traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that. 
see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist,  but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she  didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit. 
i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is  fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy. 
mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have? 
then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao
then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit 
but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever 
like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao 
ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao 
i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.
so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die
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mybabbbbee · 5 years
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The firsts
First meetup: 7th July 2019. I was pissed off already abt alot of things and didnt at all wanna marry a doctor. Our conversation was very casual. I was the one who talked for the most part.
First time we sat together on one couch: 21st July 19 when it was our baat pakki ki rasm. I tried my best not to touch him.
First time i met him in niqab/on duty: 31st Aug 19 i was in my gynae OT and telling a friend abt how he is in anesthesia nowadays and yikes! There i saw him. He was soo focused on work. So i had to approach him and have a confused conversation. Later worry for 2 days doubting if he liked me or nah.
First gift: 11th Aug 19, we went to their place a day before Eid ul Azha. He had brought gucci perfume for me from Dubai. Mom also gifted him some clothes and a perfume.
First time i heard him play guitar: 11th Aug 19 everyone insisted him to do so. He played alot of songs out of which i knew some. GOT theme song, ab tou aadat si he, bachana were my fav.
First time he held my hand: 24th Aug 19 on our engagement when he held my hand to put the ring on. Lasted for barely 10 seconds and my hands were cold af.
First time he served me food: that too on our engagement. Served me rice.
First time he texted me on my number: 26th Aug 19 i asked aunty for more pictures and he texted me the link. And also asked me to thank ma pa for the watch. Also he made a laughing emoji at the end and i wanted to ask him does he laugh too 😯
First time i added him on snapchat: 28th Aug 19 cuz i was worried he isnt texting me. So he viewed all my stories hehe. And also posted his two days later. He has a score of 65 and i have 44k 🙄
First time i fantasized about him: 4th Sept 19 i was depresses bcs of messed up clg routine so i worked out and took a shower at midnight and afterwards just laid down naked in bed. And then i started thinking abt him and well that was my first orgasm right there.
First time we had a proper conversation: 5th Sept he was sick so i texted to wish him speedy recovery. Dont know if he was in a good mood or if he is always like this. We were talking abt our engagement and he said "tbh there was a lot to compliment" and afterwards he sent me a picture of us and said he liked it. He also asked me to meet him at clg. Not bad right? Couldnt stop smiling the whole time tho.
First time we added each other on facebook: 6th Sept. I set a condition that he'd put an engaged status. I thought he wouldnt but he did. He asked me to do the same too.
First time he made a heart in our conversation: 6th Sept when he called me Ms. SuperSweet. I havent made one yet.
First time he told me he gets horny thinking about me: 8th Sept the day we met and later that night he told me how crazy i make him go. And that he dreamt that we had a little pillow fight and ended up kissing. Gosh its getting hot in here. Also he started making kiss emoji. I havent yet 🤷‍♀️
First call: 15th Sept he was very worried if he'll be able to talk properly or not. It went well. Loved how he laughed.
First sexting: 15th Sept after the call he was soo in the mood so couldnt say no. Felt hot aff. Also had an orgasm.
First time he said 'i love you' on call: 21st Sept when i called him to say goodmorning and he was so caught off guard. And happy. It was a two minute call and i didnt realize he said it untill we dropped it. He said it again later that night.
First time he tagged me in a meme: 21st Sept. It was about money heist.
First time he called from work: 25th Sept. He had to call the night before but he was too tired he fell asleep..i was a lil pissed off so subah he called me from OT, there was some strike going on so he was free..and we talked for like 10 mins. I loved his voice.
First time i heard him having hiccups: 28 Sept we were on call he had a sore throat and then he started having them i made him drink water and distracted him and it worked. We talked for almost three hours.
First time we exchanged some naughty snaps: 1st Oct we were sexting on sc for the first time and i knew i couldnt control myself so i sent him some snaps of me with low neck where he could see my curves. He sent one out of shower too.
First time he snapped me his boner: 5th Oct we got rlly wild, he had two orgasms at night and then i woke him up with a nice bj and he cummed twice again.
First date: 9th oct it was a formal date awkward in the start but turned out to be great. He got me flowers and held the door for me and pulled the chair out, not in the start though but lol it was cute. We talked abt silly things and some serious ones. About making vows to each other. We laughed like mad and took some pictures. He got me gajras in the end and helped me wear them and then he held my hand and we kept it like that till the end. He teased me a lil and gosh it gave me butterflies for a moment. He makes me feel like im perfect, flawless.
First time we held hands: 9th Oct he got me gajras on out way back..then he helped me wear them and held my hand all the way back home..he tease my hand a little and made me crazy. So crazy.
First time we tried call sex: 12th Oct..not entirely though. We just stayed on call and heard each other moan..i felt more closer to him and God it was hot.
First time i wore black with him: 16th Oct it was our second date. He loved the attire, complimented me the whole time.
First song we listened to together: 16th Oct when he was driving me back he played laiyan laiyan and we both were totally in the feels. He said he might play it on our wedding.
First time we made a streak: 16th Oct we decided it on our date
First kiss: 24th Oct we were in car and just madeout for like 10 mins..it was good. Got me wet. Wanted to make his bday special.
First love note: 24th Oct gave him a funny bday card and a note along with it. I hope he likes it.
First birthday celebration: 26th Oct one day after his bday we had a fam dinner after which we cut the cake and i gave him shirts and a perfume.
First time i sat on his lap: 29th Oct he picked me up from a friends place and we were in the backseat making out..i humped against him the whole time.
First time somebody walked in on us: 29th Oct while making out a guard approached us but kher we ran away just in time. He was so concerned id be worried.
First movie we watched together: 30th Oct joker.
First time he felt my boobs from inside my shirt: 30th Oct on our last date before he went to rwp. I felt his cock up too.
First time he gave me a letter: 30th Oct. It was the best day.
First video call: Nov 11. During his 48hr long urology call.
First tcs: 7 Dec. He got his first pay so sent gifts for me.
First time we went shopping: 26 Dec. Got a gift for Abdullah's engagement. And for mama's bday. We both are so easy. Non picky.
First time i made him cum with hj: 26 Dec. He got sooo hot afterwards. He fingered me too.
First event we attended as a couple: 28th Dec. Abdullah's engagement. Although he wasnt there for the most part but i loved how everyone related me to him.
First time he fed me food: 24th Jan 2020 on our nikkah when i wasnt eating and saying i wont unless he makes me..so he did infront of everyone.
First time he gave me a shoulder massage: 24th Jan on our night date hehe
First long drive: 27th Jan had to go to my to be ghar met ammi had a sitting with my mua had lunch then and went back
First halal kissing: felt soooo goood with no guilt. Damnnn i love to kiss him so much. So much sawab loool
First hickey: 27th Jan he got a little hard on me when he was close to his orgasm..and i totally loved it
First time he sucked my nipples: 27th jan 🙈
First grocery shopping: 27th Jan he bought me stuff for my new washroom 😁
First rain date: 27th jan it rained the whole day ❤
First night together: 1st feb after my rukhsati. It was the most magical night and his touch felt soo goood. Sleeping naked with each other and teasing was such a turn on.
First time he served me food: 24th jan on our nikkah hen we were on stage and i couldnt eat bcs of my nails and then he made me.
First time i felt protected with him: 1st feb while our valima shoot was going on and the sun was getting on my face so he stood between me and the sun to put me in shade.
First night at my parents: 2nd feb after our valima. We opened our gifts played ludo and had aloot of fun in bed. Also went to fun city in my desi newly wed clothes.
First meal post-sex: 1st feb he made me a whole plate of biryani at 4am.
First time we ordered food in bed: 4th feb. The burgers were yummm
First time he did my hair: 5th feb while i was getting ready to go downstairs. He just loves side parting.
First time i cried infront of him: 6th feb i just missed my homies so much so i turned away and pretended to sleep and he found out i was crying and became mama bear. It was so good to be in his arms i wont choose another place to be at ever. Then i read their letters while he caressed me all this while.
First time we had real sex: 7th feb just a day before umrah. He was kind of worried he wasnt getting hard enough to go inside so he got some pills and then we did. It was painful for me but i just wanted to get over with this and it was a happy feeling to know we’re finally not virgins.
First oral: 1st feb on our wedding night. Probably the last too
First orgasm: 2nd feb and the following week was full of it
First umra together: 8th feb it was the best time together. How we did tawwaf and saee and made each other recite duas, prayed together, taught him how to bargain,ate alot of yumm food.
First time he made me watch ertugrul: 12th feb
First time he got me jellies: 13th feb while we were going for madinah ziyarat.
First stay away from home: 1st march i went to rwp where he was doing his hj. Got an army mess arranged for me. Stay was great.
First monal date: 3rd march weather was awesome altho he was a little pissed off at me asking to take pictures again and again.
First fight: 3rd march later that night he wanted to have sex but i wasnt wet enough and he started blaming me and saying ive turned him off. It made me cry and confront him abt his behaviour earlier too. He kinda took it seriously and kept saying sorry the whole time and also said “this is the first and the last time i made u cry”. We stayed up till late sharing our thoughts talking abt our future.
First friends hangout: 4th feb his room mate invited us for dinner. Pizza was good everything was until they started talking abt the ex idk why i felt bad. Didnt talk the whole way back.
First bday together: 20th march he gave me a surprise by coming straight from his call for a day.
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Conversation
who are these pretty people alex
GingAle - Today at 12:14 AM
dude's Josiah, gal is Olivia, aka Olive!
its a long road until they get together but
when/if they do, there will be sappy junk like
"my little olive" n shit bc anything cheesy you can imagine happening in an old timey / worn down sea-side town?
theyd do it
and will do it
but the idea came from History of Violence by Jason Webely (gr8 song, comes from "100 years ago tomorrow" abt a real historical event its p dark but rlly neat imo)
https://jasonwebley.bandcamp.com/track/a-history-of-violence
that song
n so far, josiah is a tired boy working odd jobs on and off various ships, never leaving the port on them but just doin stuff like matience / cleaning / loading and/or unloading the ship's cargo / etc
other odd jobs are usually tranporting stuff throughout the town for various markets n such, like hauling bags of flour from a ship to the local baker for example, stuff like that
kappital - Today at 12:19 AM
ooOOOOO
that's really cool!! and they're both really cute 80
GingAle - Today at 12:20 AM
n its a really worn down sea-side town almost built in a boardwalk sort of way where you could literally go to the edge of town and hop down the side of the small cliff-like area (which is barely 6 feet high at most prolly) and land in the long stretch of the beach area n watch the waves n shit, which he does in his (rare) free time
thaN K :Dc
only uh
thing
being
hes lowkey traumatized
ok more highkey
kappital - Today at 12:21 AM
FUCK
GingAle - Today at 12:21 AM
highkey traumatized bc, at least as far as im thinkin rn, if shit goes down with battles n what not, its kind of a "all hands on deck" (no pun intended) situation for the town
where any man 12 and over will basically be pulled into it one way or another while the wives n children try to care for eachother and the wounded
which, in itself is already kinda fucked right
WELL
at 17, he was one of these guys pulled into battle for whatever was happening
but you're never told much
just
get out and fight, protect your own and the town, yadda yadda
so he was basically handed a gun and told go
so go he did and he
never really handled a gun before that
and didnt want to be part of it
but somehow found himself towards the front of it all aaaand
kinda
shot a dude on a ship of the ones supposedly invading the town to start shit or w/e
and watched him fall foward and off the ship into the water n hes always haunted by that day
n if it wasnt enough
kappital - Today at 12:24 AM
:c
GingAle - Today at 12:24 AM
it was speculated afterwards that it mayve not even been an attack
it mayve been a misunderstood trade ship or w/e
kappital - Today at 12:25 AM
god dammit
GingAle - Today at 12:25 AM
so he may have just been shoved into a battle of innocent people and he himself took at least one of those lives
so thats haunting his ass atm
and on top of THAT
he lives with his grandfather whos a p cold / quiet person, but will often praise him for what he did that day
which only fucks with him more bc its like "why would u praise me for killing a possibly-innocent person when i never wanted to be in that mess in the first place" n the grandfather shrugs it off bc hes one of those people thats a die hard believer in "War Is The Only Language Left To Speak" and "Protect Your Own At All Costs" n shit so thats fun
buT rn hes just
cargo boy, odd jobs here n there
and oblivious to olivia's crush on him
which is where she comes in
watching this dude carry like 4 bags of flour at once across his shoulders n its like that moment where they look intense and u see the sweat dripping off their face and everythings in slow motion as she sees him n its like
shes seeing Glowing Halo Of God Shining Upon This Boy Whos Probably An Angel Himself
while the most hes seeing a nap in the near future
is a *
sO YEAH she sees him around often being it a small "everyone is everyones neighbor" kinda town and flustered every time
flusters*
kappital - Today at 12:30 AM
shes head over heels for traumatized buss boy
GingAle - Today at 12:30 AM
YEAH HONESTLY
shes the kind of flustered where if theres a flower cart at the local market or somethin and she sees him
she just
not-so-causally-yet-tries-to-not-look-so-suspicious-ly hauls ass to hide behind the large display of flowers
like u wouldnt notice
bc she just
daintily walks over there a lil faster than her normal pace
but if u saw her face directly u would see her Suffering(tm)
like that red faced "oh fuck oh no oh no oh shit fuck fUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK --"
kinda look as shes internally panicking in hoping he doesnt see her staring
bc even behind the flowers
shell glance over
and be staring
kappital - Today at 12:33 AM
shes relatable
GingAle - Today at 12:33 AM
;Dc
kappital - Today at 12:33 AM
I like her
GingAle - Today at 12:33 AM
gOOD
shes overall just a gal trying to survive
both in the sense of day to day life
and also trying to not have a stroke every time she sees him
kappital - Today at 12:35 AM
olivia please
GingAle - Today at 12:36 AM
like legit there have been times where the weather gets hot and hes been working hard so you'll see like, most of his shirt buttons undone to where it shows like most of his torso as hes got this angry-but-in-a-hot-way kinda expression going as hes basically showing off his strength by carrying whatever it is that day on his shoulders like usual
n she just
becomes suddenly!!!! super fucking interested in her bible!!!!
but oh no!!! she forgot her glasses that she doesnt have bc she doesnt actually need them so shes gotta!!! bring that thing up realllly close to read it!!!
totally not hiding her entire face or anything!!!!!
kappital - Today at 12:37 AM
BIBLE
IM CRYING OH NO
oLIVIA
GingAle - Today at 12:38 AM
she carries one around w/ her bc even tho shes not super religious she grew up in a religious family so shes like
casually-religious
buT OH MAN ON THOSE DAYS
SHE JUST
RLLY GETS THE URGE TO RE-READ THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING COVER TO COVER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MARKET PLACE
PRAISE JESUS AMEN HALLELUJAH
TOTALLY NOT PRAISIN JESUS FOR THAT TONED FRAME OF HIS NOOO NEVERRRRR
honestly shed be the kind of person ud see whos like
she sees him doing something especially attrative to her
and she just
reflexivly does the cross motion across her chest bc god help her
literall y
kappital - Today at 12:41 AM
DUDE FUCKIGN
aw I wanna write for them that's really cute
GingAle - Today at 12:41 AM
8Dc !!!
im glaD U LIKE EM AAA
kappital - Today at 12:42 AM
that sucks dude what if she's like
buying seeds for a garden or something and she's about to step out the shop and dude comes in with bags of dirt over his shoulders
but because she's at the door he steps back and holds it with his foot cause shes a lady
like dude she wouldnt be able to breathe dude she would die alex
GingAle - Today at 12:44 AM
YE AH
like shed
no joke
if she had a lot to carry or w/e and she ran into him n he was like "hey do you need help with that seed miss" shed literally just be like
"oh hun u could plant ur seed in my garden at any time"
"what was th--"
"HAHAIGOTTAGOBYE"
kappital - Today at 12:45 AM
shes gonna burn in hell this is BAD
GingAle - Today at 12:46 AM
PRETTY MUC H
if her fam knew like
they arent super strict or anything
but theyre more religious than her
and so if they knew
itd be like
"honey i love you but keep this up and we'll run out of holy water for the next 2 months in under a week from nearly drowning u in it"
like they wouldnt do anything sevear but itD BE
RLLY AWKWARD
n sometHIN WOULD HAPPEN
kappital - Today at 12:47 AM
IM CRYING
GingAle - Today at 12:47 AM
like idk "ur grounded from going to the market for 2 weeks young lady" type stuff
kappital - Today at 12:48 AM
that's not gonna stop the love demon, cupid,
GingAle - Today at 12:48 AM
YEA H
if he ever spoke to her for longer than like, "i just bumped in to you hi whats up" kinda talk, she would probably die
hes not like
josh / emitt oblivious
shes just rlly good at hiding it most of the time
so eventually he prolly catches on like "?? does she??? like me??? wh--" but doesnt act on it
but if they talk n she says "i like you. a lot. like, like-like you."
hed just be like
"i noticed, yeah"
and you would never see a more priceless "O H F U C K" look on her in your entire fucking life
kappital - Today at 12:56 AM
I noticed yeah
you
you fuck don't say that
GingAle - Today at 12:57 AM
wELL
hes rarely interacted with girls s o
hes got not much else under his belt besides blunt honesty and manners
kappital - Today at 12:59 AM
time to get experience fuckhead
GingAle - Today at 1:00 AM
YEA H
kappital - Today at 1:02 AM
what does he do though does he mercy kill her or
GingAle - Today at 1:02 AM
which part :)c ?
kappital - Today at 1:04 AM
after the
confess
GingAle - Today at 1:04 AM
she runs
shes gone
shes "HAHA SO I JUST FORGOT MY MOM WANTED ME HOME BY--WHAT TIME IS IT?? OH JEEZ IM ALREADY LATE HAHA BYE "
she runs
no grave
grace
no dainty "if i act chill he wont notice"
she fucking bolts
kappital - Today at 1:05 AM
ME
I LOVE HER
GingAle - Today at 1:06 AM
high tails it back to her house, hides in her room, doesnt even take off her bonet or anything as she curls up in bed with a pillow to her face, basically screaming
GO OD
i figurred she might be a tad relateable ;D
but yA shes just
yelling, muffled by her pillow
kappital - Today at 1:07 AM
this poor baby
GingAle - Today at 1:07 AM
n josiahs just like
"?? what just??"
"????????????????????????"
kappital - Today at 1:08 AM
jos you fuck
GingAle - Today at 1:09 AM
IKR
he knows shes embaressed but it hasnt like
sunk in yet
like he knows she gets flustered around him n shit
but it really hasnt like
fully hit him on how in love she is with him
until later when they meet up again prolly but like
at that moment he just doesNT KNOW HOW TO REACT
they dont exactly give u "What To Do If A Girl Confesses Her Liking Of You And Then Immideatly Hauls Ass In The Opposite Direction" pamplets at the drug store or anything
kappital - Today at 1:11 AM
that is true
you gotta wing it
GingAle - Today at 1:14 AM
yAH
n he kinda
sucks at that
but they figure it out eventually :)
prolly meet up after he chases down her bonnet or somethin from it flyin off as she was tryina re-tie it or somethin just as cheesy n when he comes back with it they share a few moments where it clicks like
"aw fuck he really does care for me"
"oh my god im actually in love with her o h n o"
etc
n they actually chat for a bit n suRPRISE she doesnt run away this time bc they met up a few times before already
but shes flustered still n her hands are fumbling so he offers to help tie it for her n he does
granted, kinda looks like shit bc he doesnt know how to do the Exact(tm) method for tying it to look nice
but its still a bow
so after a bit from there, they eventually part ways
and when she walks in to her house her moms prolly like "?? honey why is ur bow so sloppy what did you do" n olive's just like "I Love It"
he eventually figures out how to fucking do it right once they actually start dating, but it def takes a few tries :,)
n thats abt all i got rn i thin K
so ya thats them :,y
kappital - Today at 1:26 AM
that's so fucking cute
theyre so
DORKS
dorks
GingAle - Today at 1:26 AM
;D
kappital - Today at 1:26 AM
theyre losers I love them
GingAle - Today at 1:27 AM
im glaD ;*
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Text
Episode 4 Confessionals
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RTP is a monster. Anyway, we fucking crushed that immunity. I wanted Jordan pines voted out. I've only ever played one org with him and he was my nemesis and I just don't have the mental capacity to deal with a nemesis in this one. Why couldn't Willa have done better
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we won the music video.. and my ass edited a full video plus a roast after never using adobe premiere before so im pretty shook!! our tribe definitiely seems more... "kumbaya" than the other tribe which... eh. i want the drama! but other than that our tribes good. i def feel like ive been getting complacent with talking to people so im gonna start trying to ramp back up my social game to how it was in the first round hopefully?? i need to start talking more and making bonds. (not much i can really do though, willow katie and chris are on the bottom) i just have to ensure theyre still on the bottom and hopefully keep katie safe for me to work with?? willow and chris can go i guess. also charlotte can go too tbh. like id prefer me/bryce/zach/katie over me/bryce/zach/charlotte but a returnees alliance is easier to put together, so ill work with charlotte!! idk why i dont wanna work with her i just dont get a good vibe from her?? sounds dumb but im trying to trust my gut. and ... yeah not much has happened and i dont wanna make major waves just yet.
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Free rice is so fun and not having to do grammar? Amazing! Hope I can do well in this challenge to show I'm useful. I feel like their isn't a lot of socializing happening on our tribe but I'm gonna try to change that. katieare propane torches dangerous? I want to go get one at home depot today. katiehere is my second confessional: charlotte seems chill I wonder if she will work with me in this game?
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WILLA IS FINALLY GONE. God I can't believe he didn't compete in a single challenge and managed to not get first boot. We did Emma so dirty, I can't believe it, bring her back. Anyway, going in this reward challenge I'm not too fussed about whether we win or not, it would be nice to see what the Wishing Well is all about but eh, I'm not too fussed. Immunity is what I really want because now that we got rid of the dead weight I think the fingers may start to pointed at the winners AKA me and Jay. We have enough votes to tie it since Jordan is with us. We could potentially swing Adam but he's very much linked with Ryan who is linked with Lexi so it's...a mess. No tribal pls @ immunity gods!
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Wow we won another challenge. Is the other tribe even trying? I didn't want to submit too much in case I seemed like a threat so I'm happy that I didn't do the most and we still won. I never find anything in the wishing well tho. Wish I knew who was picking the right number. But focusing on the positive, we won again!! ryan matthewi literally don't know what to do if we go to tribal. i won't want the full jordan pines experience to be blindsided by him. obviously lexi and i are a duo so im hoping we have options if that happens....
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So I was looking over my Malaysia confessionals for some reason. What started as me trying to find my FTC speech turned into me reliving horrible and painful memories of Mitchell Kalabang calling me an idiot in many creative ways. Anyways, the reason I mention this is because I noticed that I made a lot of good, detailed confessionals in that game and I want to make sure I can do the same here for Athena. Well as of now, I think I'm in an okay position. I make a bit of chit chat with everyone now and again. I'll need to step that up today though just in case we go to tribal. I admit I've been slacking in my relationships with anyone who's name doesn't rhyme with Pordan Jines. I did congratulate Ryan on winning Kvaløya and told Adam that I'm not gonna vote him out, so that's something. Lexi also came to me and was like "I promise I'll do better on the challenge next time." Like I'm some authority on effort. Ryan probably told her that I was a little annoyed that no one tried in the video challenge. To sum it up, Jordan Pines will always be targeted before me so I am perfectly content letting him take the reins for the time being. I have decent relationships with Ryan and Adam. Lexi is with Ryan for sure. And Luke sketches me out just like every other game I've played with him. I hope we win immunity. 
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So we need to win this immunity or we fucked. Like it just doesn't make sense to me. On this tribe we have me jay luke ryan and adam. In theory we should never lose a challenge, but theory is dumb and we lose everything. Like we've managed to keep a cohesive group that i honestly think genuinly likes each other but like, if we lose its all over. If we win this immunity we can hopefully swap and go into it 6-6 and maybe bring katie over to our side. If we lose however everything is done. We go into what may be a divided tribal and lose any hope of keeping a tight 6. We can't lose. Dear god let us win immunity BryceCurrently I'm worried about Zach/Charlotte but I still trust them just something to look out for. Hoping we can win this immunity but if not I think I'd want chris or willow out probably but I'd fall back on my alliance with Zach/Charlotte/Carson
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So of course our next immunity is a typing challenge. With this other tribe as insanely fast at typing as they are, I'm really not liking our chances at winning this immunity. I've been pretty busy the past couple of days so I feel like I may be in trouble if we lose.
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wait i did that wrong; Katie Shoots Target # sorry i wasnt here on time
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I love nothing more than a true underdog story. Zach and Bryce came in the fucking CLUTCH and pulled out that win for us. I can't believe it. In all my days of winning immunity challenges with a tribe, this is probably my favorite one. I'm so happy. I genuinely like everyone on my tribe and I'm so happy we aren't splitting up. Cue RTP laughing at this confessional because we're probably gonna have a swap next.
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LOOK AT US WINNING IMMUNITY. SAFETY IS A GOOD COLOR ON ULTA!!!!!
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Like ik im probs jinxing something but this game is boring nobody wants to talk game. also everyone just ends conversations after they respond to how are you, and i try and make  small talk... like?? whatevs. im focusing on this game and i rlly wanna make merge. (also zach + bryce killed it woo i love them) nothing is rlly happening in this game which sucks. i predict that therell be a swap next round which is.. eh?? idk how i feel about that but im hoping i wont be swapfucked. (also i think im acc becoming good friends with zach and im happy hes gr8!!)
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Wow me and Zach scoring all the points is good. I don't want to be seen as a challenge threat tho in case we swap and I'm somehow not in numbers. It's odd how like everyone hounds Jordan Pines and I can't tell if its jokingly or if hes enemy number 1 FJSDFHSJDF. I'm glad to not go to tribal and to have a 7-5 advantage. Whenever I talk to Willow we talk about nothing for like 2 minutes and thats it. Hasn't eaten meatloaf wish I were her, but hasn't had enchiladas? suspicious... Maybe shes vegan but even still how can I trust someone who doesn't know the goodness of an enchilada. Really wish I had some idea what was happening with the other tribe. Not being in a one world situation is different and I wish I could talk to them more to get a better picture seeing as how I'm going in blind if we swap/merge. Anyways that's all for now
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I am well and truly fucked. I slept through all of my alarms last night and ended up missing the immunity challenge which we LOST. Guess what the agenda for the last two people who were voted off was? They didn't compete in challenges. Guess what I just didn't do? COMPETE IN A FUCKING CHALLENGE. God I'm so screwed. My only hope right now is that Jordan and Jay don't hate me enough to vote with me and try and break up the duo of Ryan and Lexi. I'm going to have to pray that Adam will want to work with me too otherwise the vote will tie and I do NOT trust Jay enough to go to rocks for me. Jordan might do that but I don't trust Jay at all to risk his life like that for me. I have a lot of work to put into today so...pray for me. 
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WE WON IMMUNITYT! I'm so happy, i need to make two confessionals so this is one: im so happy i pulled through. I tried so hard to focus and make sure we didn't go to tribal because genuinely I like everyone on our tribe andd i'd feel bad voting anyone tbh. im not best socially right now and i think i need to use this time critically. I PROMISE ILL MAKE BETTER ONES NEXT ROUND HEHE
tribe assessment: bryce-  iconic king. he's good at challenges, and i think him and i are semi close. i'm down for working w him and i think he's a good asset carson - my favourite i guess? im closest to him, him and i talk a LOT, and he's super fun and social. i'm a lil worried down the road ideally because of his social game, but for now he's an ally charlotte - her and i are in two games together, so it's risky. i trust her and like her, but our social game w/ one another isn't like phenomenal or anything. She is super sweet Chris - Like... him and I talk a fair amount, not a lot, but he's super cool. I love his puppy (or whoevers puppy that is) and i think he's super sweeet katie - similar as Chris. her and I dont talk a LOT but shes really cool and i think she's a good asset challenge-wise. willow- i love her she's so sweet but she never replies (or often, at least) so RIP! I do think ill end up working w her down the road though, she's a queen -- overall i do like everyone so going to tribal would be awful because i have to vote one out. BUT, theres been speculation on an upcoming swap too... so that's intense. but, nonetheless, im here for twists!
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Nope. Thats all i got to say. Like we should have won that. and we didnt and now im mad. And we had a good group of 6 like it was the perfect group of people. But no. We now have to go down to 5 and fuck this up. So thanks RTP. Thanks a lot. Adam might go, he might now? i dont know. I dont care. Just give us a win please.
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I'm trying to get the vote on Adam and I feel like even tho jay and Jordan agreed, just the way their talking to me making sure everything's alright with the plan and the fact Adam hasn't tried to PM me I feel like they're just lying
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Ok so this is my immunity challenge confessional. We never win reward so i knew we were probably doomed and will never see the wishing well. but i didnt really care about reward. NOW FOR IMMUNITY. im alittle nervous because i feel like since we got rid of the non actives i'm the next in line. So i did my best for the immunity challenge. I mean i got 2 out of the 4 points we scored so i did half the work which in my opinion shows i care a bit. we were in the lead and then the other tribes whole fucking tribe comes out of nowhere and kicks our ass and im just like .....bye
Ok this is my before tribal council confessional. So after we lost ryan created an alliance with me,himself,jay, and jordan. which ok i dont trust jordan that much but i gotta take what i can get. They all want adam out even tho luke didnt do shit for the challenge. Which i like adam but not enough to try to switch the vote. So i prevoted adam but ryan and i feel like some shady shit may happen and one of us will go since people know were best friends. I'll raise hell if ryan goes and hopefully he'd do the same if i go. But i guess we'll see
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Man this idol is gonna be so hard to find asdjkfadjsk wish their were hints to it AdamIt sucks that we lost the challenge. I didn't help much more than trying a few times in the beginning. I think I'll like it better when I can do individual challenges, cuz then I only have me to do the challenge so if I don't do it its just skin off my back. I have to make it there first, and that requires good relations with my tribemates, so I can't slack off anymore if I want to maintain that. I hope a swap comes soon, but not with the numbers stacked against Copa tribe members :/
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I don't know what I'm going to do about tribal. I voted Luke but it really blows that we lost because I really liked all my teammates. I guess that's on me, maybe I shoulda done better and then we wouldn't be down a tribemate. Consequences and junk. I hope I'm not getting blindsided. I wouldn't put it past Jordan but it seems early in the game for that when we could be really good allies. Just depends if he trusts me I guess. I'm a loyal as fuck though, so I'm gonna make Jordan my main bitch this time. Only depends on if I'm his main bitch. Let's see if we go far together
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Hahahahahahahahahahaha I found the idol. But its like one world style or w/e b/c I found the copa idol. And I had to give it to someone without knowing them and without them knowing i sent it. Thats unfortunate b/c I could bond with them but I guess if me and Luke are ever on the same tribe I can let him know and work with him. I was thinking Zach and Charlotte were really close but Charlotte didn't know about the idol map so maybe they aren't. But yaa I just asked my alliance to tell me who to give it to because I have no idea about any of those people having never played with them. Carson initially wanted me to give it to Jay O but then I decided to ask my whole alliance for input to try to make it seem like I'm close with them and want to stay together, which I did. And that's when they said lets give it to Luke. Also Anyone But Jordan Pines 2k17 which made me laugh
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OKAY! I FORGOT TO DO ONE BUT ITS RIGHT AFTER TRIBAL SO HERE I AM! Adam is gone. Good. Me, Pines, Ryan, and Lexi are aligned. Meh, at best. If we lose, the original group of me Pines and Luke will split up their duo. Go us!
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Did I do a confessional already? I have no idea. I'm in three games. Sue me. We won immunity this week so TBH I stopped paying attention after that happened. BUT HEY, APPARENTLY YOU CAN SEARCH FOR IDOLS AND I DIDN'T KNOW OOPS. Fuck, I'm the worst. How am I still here?
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