#this is like that time i got excited over a fucking math problem

[salmonskinrolltf]

hey there these video tapes sound pretty far out. The thing is, I’m this awkward, average looking gay dude who is slowly approaching a mid life crisis. I work as a math teacher at a local community college. And my days are filled with teaching students and my nights are spent wondering what I did with my life. Anyways, I really wanted to watch the Neighbors movie with Zac Efron. I’ve had the biggest crush on his obnoxious frat boy character! I mean that body is insane!

You eagerly tear open your Be Kind Rewind package and pull out the Neighbors VHS, barely noticing the die that falls into your hand. Nor do you notice your subconscious decision to toss it onto the floor, rolling a 3 in the process. As you place the tape in the VCR (has that always been there?), you hit rewind so it can play from the beginning.

You can’t wait to vicariously live the frat boy life you missed out on, even if it’s filtered through the perspectives of Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne as annoyed adults in their mid-30s, which hits much closer to home than you want it to. Excitement swells in your chest to the point that you feel almost giddy. You need to calm down a bit, so you take a swig of the beer you don’t remember putting on the table in front of you. Not on a coaster, even. That’s so unlike you…

As soon as the frothy beverage passes your lips, you feel a sense of calm dullness washing over you. You run a hand through your hair, which seems straighter and less tangled than usual.

As you take another sip, your phone pings with an email from a student asking about a particularly tough problem you presented during your lecture that day. You look up and see that the movie is still rewinding, so you suppose you have time to answer. But as soon as you open the email to explain the answer, the numbers start swimming in front of your eyes. The 3 should go… where again? And why the hell are there so many letters in there? This is math. Math is numbers, right?

Fuck, this is too frustrating. You toss your phone to the other end of the couch and chug the rest of your beer. You suddenly need to piss like a racehorse, so you head to the bathroom. Once you’re done, the dull buzzing in your head prevents you from even considering washing your hands, but you do stop by the sink when you see your reflection in the mirror.

Holy shit. Your face is, like, morphing or something. Your eyebrows thicken, your nose elongates, your jaw cracks and broadens. You feel a squirming feeling under your shirt and you tear it off, watching as muscle blossoms from beneath your skin. Any excess weight sloughing off, just like every last bit of body hair, leaving you with a taut and smooth torso. A brief flash of pain accompanies a tattoo that appears on your newly built pec.

You try to summon a feeling of shock, but you just… can’t. That dull buzzing is even stronger now. And you look too good, dude! You admire yourself in the mirror, not noticing as the bathroom furnishings change behind you.

You step out of the bathroom into the foyer of a house you no longer recognize. Well, you almost recognize it, but it’s definitely not YOUR house. You might have been able to put your finger on where you are, but something distracts you. A shirtless Zac Efron is standing in front of you with his shirt unbuttoned and a finger to his lips.

Is this… Are your fantasies coming to life? But in your fantasies, he’d be kissing you by now. He wouldn’t be giving you the shooing motion he’s currently doing. Za- Wait, what was his name? Zaccy? Zaddy? Teddy. Yeah, Teddy. Teddy whispers to you. “Get out of the way man, I’m pranking the new pledge.” You comply, your thoughts still hazy.

Your thoughts remain that way for the rest of the night. And for the rest of the week. And the rest of the month. But despite the constant dull roar, you put a few things together. You’re Pete Regazolli, proud vice-president of Delta Psi Beta. If you weren’t always this way, you don’t care to think about it. You’re still got a massive crush on Teddy, of course. You’re gay after all, and the whole frat knows it. But even if he isn’t into guys that way, at least you still get to spend all your time with him, staring at him when he’s not looking, touching him whenever you get the chance… A chance like the one you have right now, when you’re about to pull off a huge prank on this new pledge who has no idea what’s coming… Bro, it’s gonna be so lit!

#frat #Be Kind Rewind #Roll the Die #Dumber #reality change

[nancydrewwouldnever]

The Infamous Jenny Vulture Interview

So, I keep losing access to the infamous Jenny Vulture interview from March 2017 because of caps on access they have on their website. So, in case anyone else hits the same problem, I'm cut and pasting it here, to have an easier to access copy of it.

The Year of Living Publicly

Jenny Slate’s got two new films and a new home and, oh, by the way, she’s fresh off a breakup with Captain America. 

By Jasa Yuan

Published March 2017

Most pillows are just pillows, but for Jenny Slate, the floral-print puffs arrayed on her pristine white linen couch in her freshly rented apartment in L.A.’s Silver Lake are metaphors. For a bright future. For a new life. For freedom. The Obvious Child star and her bichon frise, Reggie, just moved into this sunny one-bedroom in February, and every time she looks at those pillows, she gets so excited because she remembers how she’d bought them while still married to editor-director Dean Fleischer-Camp, her husband for three years, but had to stow them away because she realized it felt like they were living in a box of tampons. Now she and Reggie don’t have to run their decorating decisions by anyone. “I’ve never lived on my own, because I really did go from one relationship to another my whole life, so I’ve never had a chance to go really girlie,” she says. “And I had my ex-husband over last night and he was like, ‘These flower pillows look great. But they’re just for you.’ I’m like, ‘Yeah! That’s right!’ I love them so much. I just love them for what they represent, which is that all my choices are for me.” She turns around. “I’m gonna pee really quick.”

The bathroom door doesn’t quite close — she’d warned me of this. “You can snoop around if you want,” she shouts. “It’s just a little mouse house. It’s fucking perfect for me.”

I have been in her presence for about two minutes. The first thing she did was offer to loan me a T-shirt because I mentioned I was hot. Slate used to do a stand-up routine about how her mom refused to sew her name into her shirt in elementary school, “because she was like, ‘You’re too friendly, and some stranger would just be like, Jenny! Come into the van!’ ”

There’s an obvious person missing so far from this tale of pillows versus patriarchy, but she’s not hiding anything; we just haven’t gotten to it yet. “When I moved in here, I’d been through my divorce and a breakup,” she says, returning from the bathroom and referring to the ten or so months she spent dating Chris Evans, best known as Captain America, and her much more famous co-star in Gifted an upcoming film about a family struggling with a young girl’s genius affinity for math. The internet went wild over their apples-and-oranges compatibility: a brash Jewish comedienne beloved for oversharing about her bodily functions on talk shows and voicing Marcel the Shell With Shoes On, a tiny stop-motion conch with a single eye and feet who talks about being so small he can hang-glide on a Dorito, in a series of YouTube shorts she made with Fleischer-Camp — and a world-famous Marvel superhero, who also happens to be a Massachusetts momma’s boy with one of the most insanely ripped bodies on the planet. “We used to talk about what kinds of animals we were,” says Slate. “Chris said it’s like I’m a chick riding on a St. Bernard’s head. We’re an odd match.”

Paparazzi tried to snap them, bloggers scrutinized their Instagrams, tabloids obsessively covered their one appearance together on a red carpet. Slate didn’t read the coverage, but it was extremely kind, with most articles praising Slate for taking a chance on Evans, or noting that his coolness factor had jumped several notches because of his proximity to her. Maybe this crazy thing could work out! There was something beautiful, in a year marked by division, to think of these two opposites finding common ground. He was 35; she was 34. They’d grown up half an hour from each other. They were both outspoken liberals. They’d said really adorable things about each other on Anna Faris’s podcast.

And then, a few weeks before I met Slate, news broke that it was over. In her life, though, she’d already spent several months dealing with that loss and having to find a place to live, crashing with friends in Venice Beach in January. “I watched You’ve Got Mail so many times, it was unbelievable,” she says. Was she weeping most of the time? “Yeah, I did it right.” Eventually, she found this new apartment and purged everything she owned except for a few clothes she loves, books, precious objects, and a velvet chair once belonging to her great-grandmother. “I was like, ‘You need all new things. You are a working woman. Maybe this is an indulgence, but just start over,’ ” she says. “It’s like, Fuck.”

The other night, she tells me, she was sitting at a bar by herself, reading a book about the Holocaust, and finally sent an SOS text to her friend Mae Whitman. “I was just like, ‘Can you please help me? I’m so lonely.’ And she came and we got shitbombed, and I woke up the next morning and saw my headphones on my neighbor’s yard. I have no idea how they ended up there.”

As Slate gives me the tour of her place, Reggie trails her every move. “He’s like a little soul mirror of me. We’re a lot the same,” she says. How so? “Needing closeness. Despair when left alone. But also he’s very excited to misbehave when left alone. So he doesn’t know what he wants.”

Ever since she was a pip-squeak at Camp Tapawingo in Sweden, Maine, Slate has known what she wanted to be: an actress, like Amy Irving or Gilda Radner or Madeline Kahn. That or “Jewish Felicity,” taking over Manhattan, like in the TV show. In the aughts, she came up in the alternative-stand-up-comedy scene in New York, where she garnered attention for a one-woman show as different characters eulogizing an eccentric millionaire, got cast on Saturday Night Live, and wasfired one season in after accidentally cursing on-air in her first sketch. That ego blow hurt a little less when she made the awards-circuit rounds for Obvious Child, a low-budget romantic comedy about two people navigating an abortion after a one-night stand, and she’s built a devoted fan base through her outrageous characters on the Kroll Show and Parks and Recreation, not to mention her great voice work with Marcel, Bob’s Burgers, The Secret Life of Pets (as an anxious Pomeranian), and Zootopia (as a villainous sheep). In 2012, she relocated from Brooklyn to L.A. Her relationship with Evans is easily the most Hollywood thing she’s ever done. She shows me a photo of her aura on her fridge, taken in New York’s Chinatown. There’s a thick concentration of “productive energy,” which is good, since she has a lot of work coming up, and a giant cloud of worry and overthinking, which seems to be dissipating. By the sink are potholders she made as a kid on a little loom and a drawing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg that Fleischer-Camp brought her as a housewarming gift. “We’re good friends. That’s why we got divorced,” says Slate. “If we didn’t get divorced, we wouldn’t be able to be friends and we wouldn’t be able to do our work. We had just grown apart, and we love each other. It wasn’t easy, but not bad.” She pauses. “No, it was bad. But not essentially bad.”

Her mother, a ceramicist, and father, a lauded poet, are still married; she wrote a book about her childhood home in Massachusetts with her dad this year. Her younger sister, Stacey, a mental-health counselor in Brooklyn, had come over on the previous weekend and helped her put up pictures. (Her elder sister, Abby, is a nurse-practitioner in Massachusetts, and Slate is convinced her middle-child need for attention is what nudged her toward showbiz.) Covering the top of her dresser are snapshots she hasn’t figured out what to do with, such as the one of her in a revealing tank top at Columbia University, where she went from high-school valedictorian to pothead almost instantly. “This is me when I was a slutty virgin,” she explains. “A virgin but trying to act like I knew what was going on.”

Somewhere beneath a pile of half-read books is her bedside table. She hates computers so much she doesn’t keep one in the house, and she often turns to books when scrolling through Twitter on her phone stresses her out, which it always does. Current favorites include The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis, Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, and Emma, a children’s book with Barbara Cooney illustrations that she bought on Etsy and loves so much she put it on display so she could see it when she wakes up. “It’s about an old woman who doesn’t love how she’s alone, and then learns to make herself not alone through art, and draws people into her life through art. It’s the fucking best thing.”

The instinct other young actresses have to keep every interesting thing about themselves under wraps — or the toughness that female comics often give off — wouldn’t be very useful in Slate’s case. Her brand, if you can call it that, is built on vulnerability, whether she’s revealing her innermost insecurities through an animated shell or telling Seth Meyers on TV that she was so stoned in college she accidentally signed up for an astronomy class thinking she’d learn about astrology. Not to mention that she and Evans met while playing love interests in a movie that is now coming out and that she needs to promote. That’s hard to get around.

“I don’t mind talking about him at all. He’s a lovely person,” she says. “I don’t know. It feels like such a huge thing. Last year was a giant, big year for my heart. I’ve never, ever thought to keep anything private because that’s not really what I’m like, and now I’m learning those things, and they’re weird, kind of demented lessons to learn.”

She didn’t set out to have a tabloid-­fodder romance. She’d fought hard for her part in Gifted, as a teacher who falls for Evans’s character, a working-class guy trying to give his prodigy niece (Mckenna Grace) a normal childhood. Slate’s part is not huge, but it’s a big studio picture. It got her in the room with director Marc Webb and Fox Searchlight. She liked the script, but more than that, “I was just like, ‘I want viability as an American film actress. I want to find my own seat at the main dinner table, because I want to do this forever, and I want to show that it doesn’t always have to be a bikini model opposite Captain America.’ ”

Evans and Slate met at her chemistry read — the audition in which it’s determined whether two romantic leads play well together — and they instantly got along. “I remember him saying to me, ‘You’re going to be one of my closest friends.’ I was just like, ‘Man, I fucking hope this isn’t a lie, because I’m going to be devastated if this guy isn’t my friend.’ ” The first time they went out to dinner, as co-workers getting to know each other, she remembers insisting they split the bill over Evans’s strenuous objections. “If you take away my preferences, you take away my freedom,” she says she told him. “Then I was like, Oh, man, is this dude going to be like, ‘Ugh, this bra-burner.’ Instead, he was like, ‘Tell me more.’ ” They drew from that friendship for their flirting on film, but the time when they jump into bed together in the movie felt as awkward as you hear all love scenes do. “It’s one of those scenes where you bust through a door making out. I’ve never done that in my life,” says Slate. “I remember apologizing to him after. I’m pretty sure I kneed him in the balls.”

Slate was in a weird space at the time. Her marriage was dissolving, and she was working only two or three days a week, and spending her days off wandering around Savannah’s many parks and doing yoga and writing that book, About the House, with her dad. (Which, incidentally, the publisher gave away free with any donation to any charity.) Every weekend, Evans would organize a game night for the cast and crew — usually something called “running charades,” which sounds like high-speed pantomime — that she begrudgingly went to, even though all she wanted to do was hang out on the porch and drink beer and smoke cigarettes. “At first I was like, ‘What a fucking nightmare,’ ” she says. “Chris is a different speed than me — I think he really did just jump out of a plane for an interview. And so when he was like, ‘Game nights,’ I was like, ‘This is annoying. This guy’s like a sports guy. He’s the kid that likes P.E.’ ” But finally his enthusiasm won her over. “I first really liked Chris as a person because he is so unpretentious,” she says. “He is a straight-up 35-year-old man who wants to play games. That’s it. I was like, ‘I’d better not discount this, because this is purity.’ ” It also helped that she’s so competitive she constantly won.

As they got to know each other, she learned he’s still close with people from his childhood, and his best friend is a woman. “What’s the same about us is not just that we’re from Massachusetts, which was such a delight, but Chris is truly one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, to the point where sometimes I would look at him and it would kind of break my heart,” she says. “He’s really vulnerable, and he’s really straightforward. He’s like primary colors. He has beautiful, big, strong emotions, and he’s really sure of them. It’s just wonderful to be around. His heart is probably golden-colored, if you could paint it.”

They didn’t fall for each other on set. “To be quite honest, I didn’t think I was his type,” she says. (Evans has dated Jessica Biel and Minka Kelly). “Eventually, when it was like, Oh, you have these feelings for me?, I was looking around like, Is this a prank? I mean, I understand why I think I’m beautiful, but if you’ve had a certain lifestyle and I’m a very, very different type of person — I don’t want to be an experiment.” Evans never made her feel that way, but it was hard to get past how so many people seemed to feel some ownership of him and view her as an interloper. “If you are a woman who really cares about her freedom, her rights, her sense of being an individual, it is confusing to go out with one of the most objectified people in the entire world,” she says. Especially when she’s aware that in Hollywood, she says, “I’m considered some sort of alternative option, even though I know I’m a majorly vibrant sexual being.” And especially when random ladies would come up to her at CVS, “being like, ‘Oh my God, is that Chris Evans? He’s so hot!’ You’re like, ‘How dare you? That’s my boyfriend. But yes, he’s so hot.’ ”

Every time Slate mentions Evans, it keeps coming back to the same thing: As much as they loved being with one another, she says, “we’re really, really different,” with different social circles and different lifestyles. Slate comes from a DIY comedy scene, and most of her friends are fellow comics and gay guys. “Chris is a very, very famous person,” she says. “For him to go to a restaurant is totally different than for me to go. I sit in my window and I say ‘Hi’ to people on the street. I have more freedom because I’m not Captain America. I’m mostly a cartoon.” She kept waiting for everything to feel normal, but it never did. “This is what I needed to do to feel normal. To be alone.”

That meant day-to-day they mostly stayed home, “which was really nice,” she says. But it was also one of the most anxious years of her life. She fretted over the “psychos” on the internet who turned her relationship with Evans into a pissing contest with Fleischer-Camp. And she struggled seeing the person she was in love with deal with the side-effects of fame. “The stress that I saw him be put under, I’ve never seen that before, and he handled that really gracefully,” she says. What she wasn’t taking into account was that he’s used to it. “He’s not stressed,” she says. “I was the person that was stressed.”

She’s also aware in hindsight that she hadn’t processed her separation before she got together with Evans. It wasn’t as scandalous as tabloid reports made it sound — as with any long-term relationship that splinters, they’d been on the rocks long before it was official. But, she says, “When Chris and I started dating, my husband and I had only been separated for a couple of months.” The divorce actually went through while she was at the Sundance Film Festival, after she and Evans broke up. “Even though we had an amicable divorce, I think that’s still something that you need to mourn. When you get separated from somebody that you actually care about, it is the destruction of a belief system. That is really, really sad.” Throughout all of it, the divorce, the new love, she says, “I just didn’t have the tools. And I didn’t think very hard about that, to be honest. I wanted to step into the light. Chris is a sunny, loving, really fun person, and I didn’t really understand why I should be prudent.”

Are she and Evans on good terms? “We’re not on bad terms, but we haven’t really seen each other, spoken a lot,” she says. “I think it’s probably best. I’d love to be his friend one day, but we threw down pretty hard. No regrets, though. Ever.”

Slate introduces me to the mascots of her new home, two cute mice figurines in jaunty outfits who look like they’re off to travel the world. “The way I feel now is I’ve stepped out of the woods and I’m a forest animal and I’m standing on the lawn,” she says. “And if anybody tried to approach me right now, they’re seeing a creature that’s just trying to figure out what the lawn is like. All I’m thinking about is the lawn. I’m not thinking about whether or not they are going to be a fun person to be on the lawn with, because I am just trying to be on the lawn.” And what or where is this lawn? “It’s just where I am,” she says. “I like the lawn. It’s filled with air, freedom, sunlight, and I’m alone.”

Slate wants to step out in the sunlight now, with a walk around the Silver Lake Reservoir. She bids good-bye to Reggie and turns on the TV to keep him company. “I watch Twin Peaks, but Reggie watches Frasier,” she says. That morning, while Slate was walking him, a woman got out of her car and stopped in her tracks. “She was like, ‘Oh, are you Jenny Slate?’ And I said, ‘I am.’ And she said something nice to me and I said, ‘Thank you so much. I need a lot of encouragement,’ which is usually what I say because it’s true.”

Dating Evans actually, weirdly, spurred her to double down on her career, because, she says, “I don’t want people to ask me more about my love life because of him than they ask me about my work,” and in order to ensure that, she’d have to produce a lot of work. She does stand-up in small clubs whenever possible and had two films at Sundance this January, just as the paperwork for her divorce came through: The Polka King, the true story of a polka-world Ponzi scheme, opposite Jack Black; and Landline, a story of two Jewish-Italian sisters and their parents having life and love crises in ’90s New York City, with Obvious Child creators Gillian Robespierre and Elisabeth Holm (out July 21). Soon she’ll be heading to Vancouver for a road-trip movie with Evan Rachel Wood, Alison Pill, and Cynthia Erivo, which is also Wood’s directorial debut. She and Fleischer-Camp are also at work on a feature-length Marcel the Shell movie, which she says will be “a character portrait much like Billy the Kid or Grey Gardens.”

Today, she’s leaning in to International Women’s Day by wearing a sundress covered in red roses and made by a company, Day Space Night, that’s run by women. She even canceled her one meeting with a man, an appearance on Snoop Dogg’s podcast, so she could have an entirely penis-free day. And she’s planning on ending the day by going with her girlfriends to a 90-minute seminar on fertility and reproductive rights.

A vocal supporter of Planned Parenthood, Slate credits Obvious Child not just for allowing her to prove she’s a legitimate actress, but also for turning her into a women’s rights activist. Back when she signed on, she says, “I still felt embarrassed of the word feminist.” Then one day discussing a costume fitting with co-star Gaby Hoffmann, Slate jokingly apologized for showing up with “crazy bush,” she says. “And Gaby did not take it as a joke. She was really serious and she looked at me and she was like, ‘I didn’t know we were supposed to apologize for that.’ I was like, Oh, I’m being a fool. I need to learn this shit right now.”

And now that she’s got a financial cushion from Zootopia and Secret Life of Pets, she can act on what she’s learned and say “no” more often. Specifically, she’s drawing the line at any movie that, she says, “makes it okay to laugh about things like women’s bodies after birth, like when women who’ve just had babies are referring to their vaginas as all ruined. I think it’s really rude for someone to disparage a vagina in the female body after it’s just fucking created and exploded a baby into our world. It makes me furious and I will not change my opinion on that.”

Also a no-go are any roles she’s offered that “seem like a weird stereotype version of me. Like Quirky Best Friend: ‘She doesn’t have a filter! She talks about poop!’ ” She thinks it’s worth it to hold out for roles with nuance, that will allow her to lean into humor and tragedy equally, and get to the heart of the human condition. In the meantime, she has plenty of personal-growth goals. She wants to learn Norwegian this summer. She wants to spend time with her family on Martha’s Vineyard. And she wants to find a farm she can help on so she can be around animals.

Eventually, she’ll try dating again, too. “I am inclined toward partnership,” she says. “I’m like a mallard, definitely looking for my other duck. But I’ve been in love in very strong ways enough times now that there are just some compromises maybe I won’t make.” He has to know who Gloria Steinem is, for one thing. She’s thinking maybe a scientist with a sense of humor. But definitely someone who’s sure enough in who he is to accept that she’s had a past without him. “Whoever is the next person is going to have to respect that I had a husband who I loved and this boyfriend who I loved so much, and I don’t want to have to act like they weren’t important.”

We’re back at the apartment and Slate is overjoyed that Reggie hasn’t peed on anything. Speaking of pasts, she’ll also soon be hitting the press tour for Gifted with Evans. “I feel pretty relaxed about it right now,” she says, sounding not entirely convincing. “That’s because I know Chris and he’s a very nice man. And we’ve gone into our separate lives. But that doesn’t also mean that I’m going to sleep well the night before, you know?”

First, she’s taking her parents to Cabo San Lucas to celebrate her 35th birthday. I suddenly have a horror flashback to a similar trip to Cabo I took years ago and warn her not to drink the water or brush her teeth with it, or to have ice or eat anything raw, or maybe to eat anything at all.

“Oh God,” she says, laughing, “having raging diarrhea is just a real on-brand nightmare for me.”

She thinks for a second. “But, you know, it would be such an icebreaker. If I showed up with, like, a spray tan and a blowout, he’d be like, ‘What happened to Jenny?’ But if I was able to say, ‘Aw, man, I have diarrhea,’ he’d be like, ‘It’s you. I remember you.’ ”

*This article appears in the March 20, 2017, issue of New York Magazine.

#interview #JS #JS round one #2017 #JS Vulture interview

[lady-wallace]

Whumptober Day 24 - "Runaway Train" (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

Narancia angst and Dadbacchio for today's @whumptober !

~~~~~~~

Prompts Used: Goodbye Note, Neglect, "I thought they were with you' Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Character: Narancia

~~~~~~~

Read on Ao3

Read on FF.net

~~~~~~~

Narancia paced around his room, holding the half-crumpled note in his hand undecidedly, reading over and over his messy scrawl, half of it scratched out. It wasn't like he wanted to do this but…maybe he had jumped the gun a little with his excitement about his new team and frankly, Narancia wasn't interested in being someplace he wasn't wanted anymore.

Part of him wanted to wait for Bucciarati to return so he could apologize to him, explain in person—the man had done so much for him it only seemed right, but he recalled Bucciarati's fury back in the hospital when he had told Narancia not to join Passione, and the thought of facing him now felt like a defeat, like Bucciarati had been right the whole time.

And Abbacchio…well. Narancia couldn't even face Abbacchio again after the screw-up earlier that had led to all this.

He'd started out so confident too, excited for his first real mission, not just running messages and collecting protection money. That day he and Abbacchio had been sent out on a real job, to retrieve an important hard drive with—probably—top secret information on it.

He had been grateful for the distraction, if he were being honest. Everything sucked lately. He couldn't do the math problems Fugo had taught him a million times, leaving the other teen to blow up at him. He'd accidently skipped a whole street of collections he and Abbacchio had gone out to do the day before, leaving Bucciarati to have to go back and take care of them himself. And…well…he already felt like shit because it was that time of year again, and it always hurt, no matter where he was or what he was doing.

So being trusted to accompany Abbacchio on a mission was a boost to his confidence and a welcome distraction.

Until everything had gone to shit and he had messed up big time.

"Okay, listen up," Abbacchio was saying. "We're going to go in and grab the hard drive and that's it."

"Got it."

"You follow my lead."

Narancia followed his lead until they were surprised by a guy who jumped out and split with the hard drive before they could grab it.

Abbacchio swore as he started to give chase but Narancia stepped forward, summoning his Stand.

"Hold on, I got this!" he shouted excitedly, and executed a strafing run with Aerosmith. The runaway cried out, stumbling as he took several bullet wounds, but he was running toward a waiting car, holding out the hard drive to the driver.

"Aerosmith!"

"Hey, wait! The drive is—"

But Narancia was only thinking about making sure the bad guys didn't run off with the hard drive and unloaded Aerosmith's guns into the guy's hand, riddling the hard drive with bullets until it burst into flames. The guy cried out, throwing it aside and leapt into the car before it sped off with a screech of tires.

Narancia grinned and whooped. "All right! Mission accomplished."

"What the hell were you thinking?" 

Narancia was spun around by Abbacchio grabbing his shoulder, fury on the goth's face as he loomed over Narancia. 

"We needed that hard drive, you idiot! It had vital information on it!"

Narancia shrank back. "But I…"

"And now because of you, the drive is destroyed and the only guy who might know what's on it got away. Nice one, idiot!"

Narancia tried to bite back the sudden lump in his throat, heart pounding as his elation deflated. "I…I'm so—"

"Save it," Abbacchio snarled. "Now I'm gonna have to tell Bucciarati so he can explain this to Polpo. We're gonna look like a fucking joke—next time…you know what, why do I even bother? It's all in one ear out the other with you, isn't it?"

Narancia followed him silently toward the car. He climbed in and had to fight back tears the whole ride back, feeling awful inside. Abbacchio refused to look at him or say anything, simply driving back to the apartment with a tired look on his face.

Narancia tried again to speak when they got in the door. 

"A-Abbacchio, I'm really am sorry I screwed up—"

The man simply shouldered past him and went directly to his room, slamming the door.

Narancia stood there for a long moment before he too went to his room, crawling under his blankets.

He could hear when Bucciarati came home, Abbacchio greeting him stiffly before he explained what had happened.

"You gotta figure out what to do with that kid," Abbacchio snapped. 

"I know," Bucciarati sighed, and Narancia felt his heart sink further at his tone. "I was afraid he wasn't cut out for it, and maybe I was right."

Another arrow to the heart. Narancia curled further into the bed.

"Do you need me to—"

"No, I'll handle the clean-up on this one. I need to go report to Polpo now."

The day's events would not stop playing over and over in Narancia's head as he stood in his room, indecision tearing him apart. He really thought he'd found a place here, but he'd thought the same thing when he'd been with his old crew too. He'd been so inspired by Bucciarati and Fugo, that he had wanted nothing more than to follow them, but maybe he didn't fit in here either. After all, who wanted a screw up around?

He finally released his pent-up breath and laid the letter down on the messily made bed.

It was better to leave.

He grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder before listening at the door. When he could hear no one up and about, he slipped out and left the apartment, walking out into the night.

XXX

Abbacchio got up early, making coffee. He winced in sympathy as Bucciarati came into the kitchen yawning, his hair still a mess. He'd been out late fixing the mission Abbacchio and Narancia had screwed up and the ex-cop was still pissed about it.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"Not quite over yet, but it won't take too much longer," Bruno murmured, gratefully accepting a mug of coffee as he checked the time. "Can you go out and finish the collection today? I won't have time for it."

"Of course," Abbacchio said. "Give me the list of places I still need to hit."

Bruno nodded and fetched the list. "Oh, and…take Narancia with you. I'm sure he's feeling bad about yesterday and an easy job will help boost his confidence."

Abbacchio sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Yeah, all right."

"Go easy on him," Bruno said. "It's…I believe his mother died around this time of year. He's been trying to hide it but I can tell he's down."

Abbacchio felt a pang of sympathy for the kid in his chest. It wasn't that he disliked Narancia at all—the kid was hyper and loud and definitely a little shit, but he was kind of growing on Leone. He honestly felt a little bad for not checking in on Narancia the day before. He knew how bad it could feel to screw up and he had been pretty unforgiving toward Narancia. But he'd spent the afternoon calming down and it looked like he might get an opportunity to talk to the kid today instead.

Bruno left after a quick breakfast and Abbacchio went to get dressed before knocking on Narancia's door.

"Hey, kid? You feel like going out today?"

No answer. Abbacchio knocked again, harder. "Narancia!"

Still no answer.

Abbacchio huffed a sigh but decided to forget it. The kid was probably sulking. He didn't have time to wait around for a sad teenager anyway. Maybe he'd coax Narancia out with pizza for lunch and have a chat with him instead.

He headed out and finished up the protection collection quickly before heading back. He stopped by their usual pizza place and picked up a couple for lunch.

Fugo was back from his own errands by then as well, drawn out with the promise of pizza.

Abbacchio headed to Narancia's room and knocked on the door. "Hey kid, there's pizza."

He waited, but there was still no answer. Frowning, Abbacchio finally opened the door, peeking inside but saw that Narancia was actually nowhere to be found. His bed was even made.

Abbacchio headed back out to the kitchen where Fugo was grabbing a slice.

"Hey, where's Narancia?" Abbacchio asked him.

Fugo gave him an odd look. "I thought he was with you. Bucciarati said you two were doing collection today."

A weird feeling started in Abbacchio's gut, leaving him no longer hungry for the pizza. "He didn't go with me, I knocked on his door this morning and he didn't answer. Did you see him at all?"

Fugo shook his head, his own brow furrowed in worry. "No."

The front door opened and shut and the two looked up hopefully, but deflated slightly when they saw it was Bucciarati.

"Ah, is that pizza I smell? I'm starving."

"Bucciarati, do you have any idea where Narancia might be?" Fugo asked.

Bruno paused with a slice halfway to his mouth looking between Fugo and Abbacchio. "What do you mean? Didn't he go with you today, Abbacchio?"

Abbacchio turned to head back to Narancia's room, stepping inside this time as he looked around, wondering, what? If the kid was hiding like a stray cat?

It was then he saw the crumpled piece of paper on the bed and bent to pick it up, unfolding it.

There were a lot of blacked out bits as if Narancia had re-written it several times, but at the bottom was a couple scrawled sentences:

"Not sure this team is the best fit for me so I decided it was best that I leave. Thanks for giving me a new start—Narancia"

Abbacchio ran back out to the kitchen. "Bucciarati!"

Bucciarati and Fugo looked over the note. Fugo swore.

"That damned idiot!"

Bruno looked worried. "I should have talked to him last night."

"It's not on you," Abbacchio muttered, tucking the note into his pocket. "I'm the one who got pissed and yelled at him."

"You're not the only one," Fugo sighed. "Where do you think he might have gone, Bucciarati?"

"I don't know, but I think we need to go look for him now before he does something he regrets. The last thing I want is for him to beg Polpo to put him with another crew. I don't want him getting into the shit some of the other teams deal with."

Abbacchio and Fugo nodded in agreement and they wordlessly headed out of the apartment, splitting up to look for their missing member.

Abbacchio found him relatively quickly to his relief, sitting on a bench outside of Libecchio with a stuffed backpack sitting between his feet.

Abbacchio crossed the street, taking a deep breath as he thought about what he could say.

When he finally stopped by the bench, he said, "What are you doing out here, kid?"

Narancia startled and looked up at him in surprise before glancing back down. "Was gonna go inside to eat but…don't have any money."

Abbacchio stepped around him to sit down on the other end of the bench. "You know all you have to do is tell them you're part of Bucciarati's team and they'll give you a meal on the house."

Narancia glanced over at him. "Yeah, but I'm not anymore, am I?" he said bitterly.

Abbacchio raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I saw your note, but the thing is, Bucciarati actually has to okay you leaving the team and moving to another one or whatever you were planning on doing."

Narancia looked down, hands gripping the straps of his backpack. "So I screwed up again." He sighed. "Let's go back then so I can be officially fired."

"Narancia," Abbacchio caught his shoulder before he could get up. "You're not fired. Look, I'm sorry for blowing up at you yesterday, I was just pissed you didn't take a second to listen to a plan. But we've all made mistakes. You just…learn to do better the next time. You know how many screw-ups Bucciarati's had to smooth over for Fugo and me? You're not the only one. But listen." He turned to Narancia and the boy looked up at him cautiously. "This job isn't a game. It's dangerous, and next time, failing to listen to orders might get you or someone else killed. You're the one who made the decision to join Passione despite Bucciarati telling you not too—don't do something stupid and put your death on his hands."

Narancia looked down and Abbacchio cleared his throat, softening his voice slightly. "That being said, as much as I hate to admit it, I think you'll be a good addition to the team."

Narancia perked up slightly, with a small smile. "I'm sorry. I know I don't make great decisions all the time. It's just…this week hadn't been great and I'm kinda extra messed up right now, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it," Abbacchio replied before he stood, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Come on. If you're hungry, we have pizza at home."

Narancia stood, blinking in surprise as he pulled his backpack over his shoulders. "So…that's it? I just get to go back to the apartment and eat pizza?"

"I'm not saying Bucciarati isn't going to have a talk with you, but you're not getting kicked out or anything."

Narancia's shoulders slumped in relief, before he hesitated. "Um…Abbacchio? Would it be okay to make a quick stop first?"

XXX

Narancia stopped beside his mother's grave, taking a breath before bending to place the small bunch of flowers he had picked on the way. Abbacchio stood off to one side respectfully. It was nice, actually. It had been a long time since Narancia had visited his mother's grave with anyone else. Obviously, his father couldn't be bothered to give a shit about anything, not even his dead wife—or his living son.

"I guess she probably wouldn't be proud of me, huh?" Narancia muttered. "I mean…I'm not exactly doing the best work."

"I don't know about that," Abbacchio spoke up. "I like to think it's all in how you go about it. The world is an unjust place and it's left up to you to find justice for yourself, no matter what you have to do to get there."

Narancia looked up at him, surprised. "Yeah, I like the sound of that."

He set his hand on the gravestone before pulling away.

"Ready to head back?" Abbacchio asked.

Narancia nodded and as Abbacchio started to turn away, he impulsive ran to the older man and threw his arms around him.

Abbacchio froze in surprise, but Narancia squeezed him once before pulling back.

"Thanks, Abbacchio," he said, smiling up at his new teammate.

Abbacchio huffed a breath and actually smiled back, reaching out to ruffle a hand through his hair. "Come on, kid. Let's go home."

~~~~~~~

Check out my Whumptober Masterpost HERE for more stories!

If you want to follow me on other social media or ask about fic or art commissions, find my info on My Carrd

#whumptober2023 #no.24 #goodbye note #neglect #i thought they were with you #jojo's bizarre adventure #fanfic #misunderstandings #death of a parent tw #angst #emotional hurt/comfort #parental leone abbacchio #narancia ghirga #pre series #jjba part 5

[soleil-in-retrograde]

Been on a writing spree all day. Decided to edit this snippet that likely won’t get used and share. Have some Dionysus and Lesterpollo!

The landline was ringing.

That was odd, Dionysus thought as he took a sip of his Diet Coke and lounged back on the couch. There were three people who ever called the landline and one of those called every Saturday like an annoying clockwork wasp. It was Tuesday and middle of the day. The regular caller was no doubt at school and the other two had no reason for it. He shut his eyes and reached out to check on everyone in camp despite the ever-present headache his forced sobriety brought him. The kids were running around doing their kid things. Chiron was instructing some of the year rounders on their math and history. Some of Apollo’s kids had dumped their crafts into the box Hermes would pick up later to take to his brother’s place. There was actually a kind of cute strawberry made of felt he might swipe and have sent up to Ariadne instead.

The answering machine picked up the call and Dionysus glanced at it when he heard all too familiar sniffling.

Shit.

“H-Hey Mr. D. Or Mr. Brunner. Or whoever. I… I should probably be calling Mom, but--”

Shitshitshit.

He was at the phone in a second.

“What’s up, Mr. A?”

He could practically feel the flinch on the other end of the phone and Dionysus silently cursed at himself. His brother’s biggest problem right now was the constant confusion and pull to things he couldn’t understand. The play at mortality kept his brother calm and happy and, most importantly, away from their asshole of a father. Something major must have happened to have him calling in the middle of the day.

“I, uh…. I… I got lost,” his brother admitted lamely.

“Lost? Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” he asked, “How’d you get lost in a school building?”

“Yeah, but…. I don’t know. I got upset and I… I ran. Again. This time I left the school entirely.”

“You ran away from school?” he repeated, pinching the bridge of his nose, “What the hell got you so upset? Why aren’t you calling your mother or your sister?”

“Because Artemis is probably busy and Mom won’t let me out of her sight for a month even when I am at school. I…. You’ve been to Tampa, right?”

“Why can’t you just use the GPS on your phone?” Even diminished like this and the Mist fucking with his head so hard, Apollo was a smart guy.

“I… I just…. I guess I didn’t think of that?“

It hurt to hear his normally so boastful brother lacking such confidence. A mortal kid around the same age Apollo had settled at when things unraveled wouldn’t think twice about using his GPS or be scared of his mother watching him or any number of things. Even if they were meek in nature they would at least have tried to use the tools at their disposal.

But being unable to trust your own mind could break someone in all the ways that mattered. It created a helplessness that was hard to let go of. Dionysus would know. Some of that sort of loss of self fell into his own domains.

He wished he could drink, but Ariadne was caring for a bottle he intended to share with her as his first real drink the second he could get back to her.

“What made you upset?”

“Huh?”

This was his brother. The one who’d been so excited when he’d ascended and terrorized him in turn. The one who annoyed him and was annoyed by him in turn. The one who’d been ecstatic when Ariadne had ascended, romantic sucker that he was.

He glanced towards Cabin Seven and wondered when the last Demigod child of his would arrive and when the fully mortal ones would start.

If the mortal ones would even be able to come to Camp at all.

“Before you ran off. What made you upset?”

“It was history class. We were going over Rome. We got to this paragraph about Emperor Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus --” Yeah, that would do it.

Dionysus didn’t know all the details: Just that Commodus had been an ex and that Apollo had to kill him during those damned Trials. It hadn’t been pretty. It’d been something no one should have ever had to do.

Those Trials had been a wake up call to all of them, in a way.

“--and I… I just felt… upset. Sad. Like… it’s like I got stabbed in the guts, you know? It’s a paragraph in a textbook with less info than wikipedia. Why am I upset about some guy who’s been dead for over a thousand years? But it feels like one of Artemis’s dogs died or something.”

Dionysus could damn near see him sitting on the curb somewhere, phone tucked between his shoulder and chin, hands worrying at the hem of some stupid moon-themed shirt or raking through his curls. Maybe one of those ugly tissue paper flowers were on his person somewhere like always these days. Dionysus wondered if his brother finally got the acne under control with how many products he’d been going through like his life depended on it.

“Shit happens sometimes. Probably resonated with you in some way. But why’d you run away?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t breathe, but I could? I think I started crying and everyone was staring and I just… I needed to get away. I didn’t know why I was upset. Everyone at school probably thinks I’m a weirdo anyway so what’s running away over some stupid dead emperor going to do?”

“Eh, fuck them.”

“What?”

“You’re graduating in a couple years. Then you’re leaving the school and never seeing them again. Who gives a shit what they think? It’s not important. What’s important is this -- do you see any stores around you?”

There was a confused sound on the other end.

“Uh, yeah? Just a coffee shop, why?”

“You got any money on your card?”

“Always, why?”

“Hermes is stopping by soon. You get yourself a latte and a snack. I’ll talk to you until he picks you up. We can tell your mom he took you to play hooky or something.”

Leto wouldn’t believe a word of it, but she’d be happier Apollo hadn’t gotten attacked by anything he couldn’t perceive as a threat. As much as he didn’t like how coddled his brother was, he didn’t blame her protectiveness one bit after the last few years they’ve all had.

And, hey, their father couldn’t say anything about meddling because Apollo was entirely under Leto’s domain.

“Will he seriously stick around?” he asked, voice hopeful.

“Yeah, he’s gotta drop off some stuff from your cousins and kids.” Looked like Dionysus wouldn’t be snagging that strawberry for his wife. “Treat the man to a latte when he gets there.” Dionysus was already spinning off another version of himself to call Hermes and tell him the plan.

“So, Mr. A, besides asshole dead emperors’ making you upset, did anything interesting come up at school?”

“Have you ever heard of binary poetry?”

Fuck, this was going to be haikus and limericks all over again, wasn’t it?

#flowers for apollo #snippets #lester papadopoulos #i have been typing angst all day #MERRY CHRISTMAS #fanfic #pjo dionysus

[aceofwaffles]

My mom got the new Xbox for Christmas bc she wanted to play Starfield, and I was excited when I realized I could play Sims 4 again. We have been unable to ever since they transferred to the EA app, as the app caused extreme lag, overheating, and other problems for our computer (uninstalling it fixed these problems). Again, I was excited, and got the base game and romantic garden stuff as they were both free, but more recently I’ve been feeling very disappointed that I don’t have access to the packs I had on pc. (I looked it up, and there is no way to transfer.)

We had a lot of packs: Get to Work, Seasons, Pets, Get Together, Get Famous, Island Living, University, Cottage Living, Vampires, Dine Out, Parenting, and a few Stuff Packs too. You can do the math, but in total I’m sure it cost us over $100, plus the cost of the base game which we bought before it was free.

In short, we spent a lot of money on this product which we were suddenly unable to play due to a now necessary app fucking up our computer. And now that I have a way to play the game without fucking up my computer, I still can’t use the dlcs I spent so much money on for, from what I can tell, no reason. My instinct is to download some of the ones I really feel I need (Cottage Living), and potentially some of the new ones I’m interested in (For Rent), but I really don’t want to give them money for screwing me over.

Btw, this is actually what ‘Capitalism breeds innovation’ means. This is the innovation. It’s an innovative way to get me to pay for the product twice. All you have to do is NOT make it so I can keep it. It’s pretty effective, too. Again, it’s almost working even though I know I’m getting screwed, bc I like the Sims 4, and I like my packs. But no, fuck this. I almost feel like I could sue them for this if I really tried, and if I felt like it was worth the money and time it took to do that.

They literally made my product unusable, and now it’s impossible to get it back, even though I feel like it really shouldn’t be, since it has my data! It has my sims! But not the stuff I actually paid for!!

Yeah, fuck EA and their money-grubbing tactics. This whole thing is a scam.

#sims 4 #the sims 4 #the sims #electronic arts #capitalism #games industry #fuck ea

[sparkedblaze]

(modern au) morris and oscar having briefly attended manhattan’s high school during all their moving around before they both left mainstream school, so the manhattan boys would sometimes find evidence of them around the school.

race noses through behaviour ledgers while in trouble himself and finds a file on oscar, the biggest and most detailed he’s ever seen and including several police reports on the brothers’ many guardians and carers. crutchie sees morris in the back of a class photograph, scrawny and skinny and covered in bruises, hunched into himself like he’s trying not to exist. one of the boys is in a SEN (special educational needs) class and sees morris’ name on a drawer of work, wonders… what was wrong with him. if he’s over it now. trying to connect these glimpses of these boys with the ruthless monsters jack talks about.

Ooooooooo

@emmedoesntdomath

*

Toni chewed on the pencil in his hand, watching the teacher move around with the other kids. Stupid common core math making them all have to learn one specific way. Toni looked down at his paper, over the thirty or so problems he had to solve by the end of class.

He was surprised she was making them do it the 'correct' way. Eight or ten kids with mild learning disabilities trying to conform to society's thinking? It'd be a feat if they even finished the page.

He read through the first one, a paragraph of words he had to sift through. He scribbled down the numbers in the problem, labeling what each of them was, huffing as he wrote down what he was solving for.

That was as far as he got before he started doodling in the margins of the paper. The drawings were crude and messy, of simple things like sports balls or flowers. He looked up at the clock, thinking it had to have been at least ten minutes.

No more than three had passed.

For fucks sake.

He chewed at the end of his pencil again, knee bouncing in an attempt to focus.

Put your energy somewhere else. Find somewhere to channel it.

He shifted the binder he was wearing, the fabric rough and uncomfortable against his skin.

His leg bounced faster as he scrawled the formula across the page. He could do this. He could do this. He could do this.

If he couldn't, ma would be disappointed. If ma got disappointed, he'd have to sit through another one of her lectures, and he wasn't sure he could handle that.

He glanced toward the window, and his hand shot up, looking up at the teacher. "Ma'am? Can we finish class outside?"

Miss Tawri looked outside as well, then at the few other kids in with them, who were all looking up at her, beaming with excitement.

She sighed, nodding. "Fine, fine, alright. Everyone get your things! We're going to sit under the oak."

The announcement earned cheers from the group, and they all scrambled to get their stuff.

They followed her outside, Toni walking arm in arm with Jonathan, bags slung over their shoulders.

"Y'know, Johnny," Toni started with a smirk. "You'd probably do better at reading if you had a pair o' glasses. I could get you Julian's, if you want. Their folks can get 'em another pair."

Jonathan laughed, shaking their head. "Absolutely not. You think I'm gonna be able to see through those coke bottles?"

Toni laughed with them, rolling his eyes. "Whatever you say, Johnny Boy."

They laid their blankets out on the ground, sitting on them, in a circle around the teacher. Toni patted his pockets, checked behind his ears, and checked his mouth.

His hand shot up again. "Miss Tawri, I don't have my pencil!"

"I don't have one either, Antonio. Go and get yours from inside."

He sighed dramatically, dropping his books onto the blanket next to Jonathan. “I’ll be back, I guess.”

He headed inside, taking his sweet ass time, wanting to get away from the worksheet for as long as possible.

He pushed open the door, flipping the lights, going to get his pencil off the desk, immediately bringing it to his lips again, chewing absentmindedly.

He turned slowly, looking at the filing cabinets behind the desk. His eyes went alright as he found the drawer labeled ‘Projects’.

That was where she kept all their old stuff. Toni had seen her thumbing through it when she thought they were all busy or distracted.

He went over, pulling the drawer open, thumbing through them. He grinned as he found his own file, reaching for it, but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw one labeled with only a last name, unlike the others which had a first and last.

Delancey

They had been in this class?!

He sank to the floor, getting comfortable as he thumbed through the file. He saw worksheets that had been doodled on instead of filled out. There were coloring sheets that looked like they'd been colored by a toddler-outside the lines and colors all over the place. There were a few worksheets that were half-finished, written in Oscar's tiny, illegible handwriting.

He found some IEPs, eyes widening.

He shouldn't look at this. he shouldn't read through the teachers' notes on the brothers. His eyes shouldn't wander the red writing warning of violence and threats and tantrums and breakdowns and demanding something change. He shouldn't be skimming the worries about what was happening at home, the notes to CPS and principals about how the teachers worry about them showing with bruises and cuts and broken bones.

He shouldn't do that. He shouldn't do any of those things.

He set the IEPs aside, looking through drawings. They were clearly by Morris, of simple things like home and a family.

He found a drawing of someone who looked suspiciously like Medda, holding hands with someone who was almost definitely Morris, who was also holding hands with a grumpy boy who was absolutely his older brother.

He sucked in a breath, staring at the paper in his hand. He turned it over, Morris's name written across the back, Oscar's neat handwriting dating it beneath.

He did some quick math.

It was before she'd even fostered Jack.

It was the first time they'd stayed with her.

He looked through a few more, finding different drawings of different things Morris thought was important. They were all happy drawings.

How could the boy who drew all of these be the monster Jack wrote him out to be?

The kind to attack someone over something as simple as a blanket.

What happened to them?

He jumped as the door opened, ducking behind the teacher's desk, scrabbling for the papers, shoving most of them back in the folder, and putting it back where it belonged, silently pushing the drawer closed.

He held his breath, waiting, listening for footsteps.

"Toni?" he heard Jonathan's voice, and let out a sigh of relief.

He folded the paper and tucked it into his shirt pocket. He popped up with a smirk.

"Miss me already?"

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "No, Miss Tawri was wondering where you went."

They looked over him, raising a brow suspiciously. "What are you doing, Toni?"

He grinned. "Looking through my file."

They scoffed. "So, nothing interesting, then?"

Toni's eyes went wide. "Johnny! How could you?"

"Pretty easily, actually."

Toni stood, rolling his eyes, going to his bag, slipping the drawing into it, digging through it. "Johnny, do you know where I set my pencil?"

Jonathan laughed at him, moving over, yanking it from his mouth, making Toni whine. "What? You asked."

"Let's go, before she gets mad."

#nox #thank you nox #nox asks #newsies #livesies #92sies #newsies modern au #racetrack higgins #skittery newsies #the delancey brothers

[runninguplenorahills]

Lenora you’re back!!!!!💕💞💕💞

How have you been?

Heyyyy✨🌞

I’ve been doing pretty great honestly. I got through my finals and I actually did quite well :)). I didn’t take the biology exam though because holy fuck I can’t even do simple math and we were supposed to do crazy equations, no calculators allowed💀. So yeah, didn’t study at all and woke up in a cold sweat like three days before the exam and quickly set myself on inactive because I would’ve definitely fucking flunked it. But English went great, got one of the best grades out of the entire course for my presentation I was sweating buckets over beforehand, linguistics went well as well and the rest was just pass or fail and fortunately I passed but I’m still waiting on a feedback for my pedagogy portfolio. Speaking of waiting, I spent weeks in February working on my art portfolio and applied for art school and I’m waiting for a response to that, too.

I also finally read “The song of Achilles” but it sadly didn’t earn its place next to my favorites, like, it was actually only three stars for me if I’m really honest. Currently I’m reading “Persuasion” (I’m about half way through) and that books actually pretty great but the first like 80 pages are just like, set up lmao. But after that it quickly gets better!!! I haven’t continued reading in a couple of days though which I should absolutely do soon because the new semester starts in two weeks and then idk how much time I’ll have to read. I’m actually taking British and American literature classes in the new semester which I’m pretty excited about!!!!

Oh boy, I also finally watched s5 of Miraculous and the alternate universe Paris special and the movie and bro, s5 was an absolute dumpster fire…. Actually fucking insane. But the Paris special was kinda entertaining lol, and I can’t lie…. the movie was pretty good. Like… it was honestly great hahahah. I also watched Cars btw! I have watched the first part before but never the rest and then my sister wanted to watch Cars so we did and yeah, Cars is amazing ofc. I also finally watched But I’m a Cheerleader which was all over the okays but it was funny and I loved the ending. I’m trying to remember what else I watched but I don’t remember anything else… hmmm… Oh!! Omg, I watched Christopher Robin and I didn’t not except that movie to be as good as it was. I was in genuine tears over fucking everything and yeah, very enjoyable. I also watched The Sixth Sense which was good, did not see the plot twist coming though, Like, spoiler! I literally remember thinking “oh.. so he survived I guess” when it says “next fall” like a fucking idiot 😭. I don’t think I watched any other movies though.

Wait, I also read the entirety of Jackson’s diary on webtoon and it was a fucking roller coaster.

Other than that I’ve been hanging a lot with my friends, especially those who moved to another city for university. There’s this café we always and in the past two weeks we’ve gone three times and you can borough games to play and we usually play scrabble which is always sm fun!

Oh and holy shit, I turned fucking 20!?!?! Absolutely batshit insane, I cannot believe it.

Also, I just kinda left tumblr very like, impulsively because I had finals coming up and thought it’d be distracting, but also, tumblr tends to suck the life out of me sometimes so I thought taking a break would be worth it either way. After finals where over I then had to work on my art portfolio and I have a huge procrastination problem so I stayed off tumblr because I knew it would make it worse and so I just left and didn’t reply to anyone, which, I’m sorry, I missed you and the other mutuals so much but I also don’t think that many people even noticed that I took a break in the first place. Anyway,I’ll probably dip when Uni starts again as well but I thought it’d be nice to catch up with y’all before that happens.

How have you been doing :))💓💗💓💗💓

#mail to lenora hills #very long very ramble had to guve you all the updates #it’s almost 4 in the morning like… that’s why i took a break from tumblr 💀

[probablyhuntersmom]

One of the funniest people I know, a talented pianist and family friend, passed away from a long battle with cancer today. I liked it when he and his wife visited and stayed over at our place because their sunny personalities would temporarily put the ongoing crap at home on hold. They were one of the couples that made me go "Ghhh if only they were my parents".

And I can't fucking attend the funeral because he lives abroad. I can't leave flowers for him where he'll be buried and I'm so pissed off.

He never opened the email where I told him I had my own cancer battle. It turns out he was too incapacitated to do so by then. Because he got tired of failed drug trials and decided to reject the morphine he was regularly taking. I had been curious to discuss cancer-related things with him and bond further with him over that.

He used our house to host an overdue reunion party with his long-time friends back in December. He played some beautiful music on the piano. Many of us were prepared to think, this might be the last gathering in which we see him. We were right. And during that time, my doctor and I still thought that my own developing cancer pains (still not removed via surgery, and the X-rays, MRI and biopsy had not been done yet) were just a stupid muscle problem.

Am having complicated emotions about all this. I know he would've wanted to keep going because he had exciting things waiting for him IRL. Whereas for me...

I'm in remission from my own cancer but if I'm honest? 1) I would've loved to trade places with him. Outside of fandom and my fulfilling work, I'm still seeing the IRL outside world as too bleak. I kinda wanted and even hoped to a degree that my cancer would've just taken me swiftly, back in February. But 2) I have the strength to not act on my suicidal ideation because I genuinely believe now that doing that would permanently damage the loved ones I have (siblings, friends, and my clients). It's just that I haven't arrived at the place where I keep going for me and me only. That's going to take time, and honestly a bunch of miracles for my IRL circumstances that would be nice.

So it's those two voices coexisting. They're having a conversation like an angel and devil on my shoulder. I have to let them talk it out with one another and have that noise buzzing around in my head until it passes.

I'm not sure it's survivor's guilt I'm feeling. It's a "It'd make sense that I'd be the one to die rather than him" kind of thing. It's "why the fuck am I the one who's still here, when he was the one who wanted to stay..more than I wanted to?"

He didn't have C-PTSD like I do. He would've seen more of the bright side of life, so he would've wanted to stay more than I want to. He had a jolly personality while I honestly don't: I'm more the reserved-but-assertive type IRL. Like. I know my intrinsic worth, I make good art, write well, I can say that every single therapy session I have conducted in my training and career so far has resulted in the client feeling heard and seen. Hell, I can handle public speaking and love some shows, movies and my fave music. But this fact remains: sometimes I come back to this existential tiredness that sleep doesn't fix and I have that alluring temptation to visualize the peace of death. It's not about me worrying that I can't contribute to anything. It's just that I'm tired.

My brain is trying to rationalize with some form of math, saying that if he passed his fatal cancer to me, and I passed my state of remission to him, it would've satisfied his desires and mine too. He stays, I leave.

I guess this is why I love being in airports too. Being in the departure lounge. The thought of "departing", finding peace somewhere even if only a while. No more pain forever.

Being in the cancer club is weird when you're under 40 or some similar number. Like finding an underground city where you can't really climb back above ground ever again, therefore you become acquainted with the natives of this city and learn their language. He was in that 'city' for a long time while I have just discovered it in recent weeks, but he was gone before I could meet him in that 'city'. He's now some ghost. But I'm still here and not feeling that great about that.

#loz says stuff #cancer tw #is this coherent? idek. is it at least off my chest? yes #death mention

[seekingdecay]

Caitlin Speaks: Jealousy

Tws for: kinda child abandonment(?), discussions intrusive thoughts and thoughts of murder

This is reaaaaaly headcanony and has like zero canon uphold byt fuck you battle frontier content

Story under readmore

I was 15 years old when I genuinely thought about killing someone. About killing my best friend.

Before I was tossed carelessly into the hands of Sinnoh's battle frontier, I had been abandoned by my mother. Two different mothers, two different occasions. The first time, when my birth mother decided I was too dangerous to even be around her, that I was too much of an embarrassment to even be called her daughter, my father had naively contacted a trusted psychic in Kanto. Sabrina. One night, when I was 6, he handed me my stuffed ninetales and wrapped me tight in a blanket my Baba had knit for me and said I would be going to a woman who would show me warmth, someone like me with my powers.

I, just as naive as my dear father, was so excited. I got the experience of traveling on a boat at night, seeing all the stars in a sky not polluted by Castelia City's constant neon signs and billboards. I got to go to a big manor surrounded by woodlands, being carried by a psychic woman who would teach me how to make the beast inside my brain obedient. How to control the overgrown fields of orchids in my head. 

When I was 9, I was handed into the arms of my uncle, a man who works at the Sinnoh Battle Frontier. Owns the damn place. So that lasted a noticeably short amount of time. I choose to shove those memories deep into the recesses of my mind, especially the cries of those who bored Sabrina and made the crime of losing in her gym, whip in her hand.

Palmer's first course of action was to hand me off to our Castle Valet, a new hire in need of someone to do math for him. I was young, 9 years of age, so of course I was excited to do it. I just wanted any scrap of praise at this point, for someone to feel an emotion for me that wasn't bitter.

The main problem is unlike with Sabrina, I was not to be around any pokemon without supervision. If I was alone, I was taught to run away and find one of the other brains. Luckily for me, when I was 14, at my most angry and grudge filled, Palmer had announced a young boy my age coming to join as the new Factory Head (what he failed to announce was why the previous one left, I had harassed that witch of a woman so much she quit mid battle). 

Apparently, he failed to note this to that boy, too. As he had seemingly wandered into my corridor without Darach while touring the Castle (I chalked it up to typical teenage boy behavior at the time). He had tapped me on the shoulder, which startled me, and I smacked him clean over the head with a plastic crossbow. Knocking him out. 

Later, after that kerfuffle, Darach had approached me about that boy. His name is Thorton, he told me. He does not have any friends, but he's a wonderfully sweet young boy. He'd be a good influence on you. Go be friends with him.

Because of that, for the first few weeks I simply despised him. I detested him. But after some time… We grew closer, Dahlia would tease me about our friendship. Saying we were joint at the hip. Never without eachother off hours, if either of us could help it.

I knew why Darach had made me befriend him, though. It still made me bitter.

As much as I loved him, Thorton made me bitter.

One day, Palmer had sent the two of us out on a walk on the mainland. In Eterna forest, just the two of us. But I felt as though the reason was to get him to walk me like a dog. Take the bad kid for a walk! Go, Thorton, go!

Thorton was typical, researching for his Factory. As I followed and listened to his ramblings, eventually tuning out and losing focus, I couldn't help but feel a violent bile rise in my throat. We had parked near a stream and as I stared down at our reflections, the water flowing over a large and loose stone, I couldn't help but get bitter.

Thorton was, truly, everything I wanted.

I didn't want you, I wanted to be you.

You were perfect in my eyes. You had the respect of our fellow frontier brains, you had a mother who would occasionally try and check in, you could exist without the worry of getting too frustrated and needing to be locked away like a bomb threat. You had pokemon, you could battle, you could think without clouded judgement, you could hear your own thoughts and be creative without the pain of someone else's emotions coursing through your veins like a drug.

I wanted to be you.

But most importantly, just then, I wanted to pick up that rock from the mud and smash you over the head. Maybe two, or three times. You were bigger than me, stronger than me at the time. I would need to hit you hard with that heavy stone so I wouldn't get pinned and taken away by the other brains and abandoned again. I wanted to kill you and then run away deep into the forest, never to be found. Likely only to die myself. Karma. Sabrina taught me about that well.

I guess…

Some people are just born with malice in their head. 

#factory head thorton #elite four caitlin #other mentioned characters #fanfic #pkmn talk #rotoms writings

[pierrelapsac]

Lestappen boarding School #13 (18+)

Read the whole thing on my AO3...

21st September 2019

Charles and Max were late for dinner in the end. When Isa and Charlotte left, Max had assumed Charles would follow but he stayed and the two of them had finished their personal statements together. Though Max for the most part had been confirming Charles’ translations sounded smooth. Charles was actually very serious about the Ferrari business, though not without his own touch of nepotism that Max teased him for in turn. They went to dinner separately of course but the whole afternoon had been …civil. 

Max was starting to feel a little proud of himself. Even Alex, after hearing from Isa that Max and Charles had been working together yesterday and had said something like “finally the rest of us normal people can get a break from trying to study with either of you.” They still mostly avoided each other during the day. Max had brushed off Alex's hopes they were going to be friends again and it seemed Charles agreed that things would be easier if they kept things as normal as possible. 

25th September 2019

Leclerc 

Did you finish the last question in Maths?

I want to go over it, I don’t like these stats problems.

13:02

Me

Yeah I’m okay on stats.

Come to my room after dinner?

13:05

Leclerc

Fuck before or after?

I’ve got something I want to try.

13:06

Max deleted the second message. He’d been sort of expecting something like this. It wasn’t a secret that Charles had slept with other people before. He’d had a girlfriend at school a few years ago and when he’d come out to him and Daniel back when they’d briefly been friends he’d told them that he’d messed around with a guy in Monaco before. Max didn’t have the same, he wasn’t even sure if Charles knew he’d been his first proper kiss. So far all he’d done to Charles was a hand job which can’t even have been much of an excitement to Charles. It would have been easier if he didn’t have the desire to keep him interested.

Daniel used to tell him all he needed was to look confident when trying to pep talk Max in 5th year. Which Max had thought was easy to say coming from Daniel who seemed to be happy to do anything very genuinely as opposed to Max who had only recently mastered not throwing a strop when the other team scored during games. Max finished his dinner quickly anyway, the fear not quite overcoming the freshly embraced teenage horniness. Charles caught his eyes as he was leaving the dining room and he figured he wouldn’t be waiting long to find out anyway. 

Max left his door open and a few minutes later Charles slipped inside and sat without invitation on the end of Max’s bed. 

“You never answered my text?” Charles said.

“Fuck first.”

“Such a gentleman.” Charles teased but pulled Charles in to kiss him anyway. It was so casual it took Max a little by surprise. Charles was a good kisser, he always took control, leading the pace they went at, guiding Max’s hands where he wanted them on his body and making these little moaning noises to let Max know whenever Max did something that he liked. Charles' hands felt good on him too. Max liked it the best when Charles' hands grabbed him rougher and especially when Charles kissed his neck. This time Max tried doing the same, kissing up and down Charles' neck and got his little moans in return.

“You’ve got such pretty lips.” Charles whimpered. Stroking his hands through Max’s hair. 

Charles tugged his hair pulling Max up to face him and kissed his lips again. 

“Max?” Charles said, breaking the kiss. “Do you want to blow me?” 

‘Yes’ Max thought but he didn’t say anything. He liked making Charles feel good and he knew how good Charles' mouth felt on him. Max so badly wanted to return the feeling, taking Charles in his mouth winning all the pretty sounds Charles made. What if he was awful, scraped his teeth all over Charles pretty cock. Charles would compare it to his pretty ex-girlfriend or the older boy from france. 

“I know you’d make me feel so good,” Charles said leaning forward to whisper the words into Max’s neck, dropping little kisses in between.

“I’ve not…” Max started.

Charles kept kissing. “I know, I’ll talk you through it, I just keep thinking about you on your knees for me. I know you’d like it, you're such a pleaser and I can pull your hair the way you like too.” 

Max was glad Charles’ face was buried in his neck because he didn’t like the Idea that Charles could see how much he was blushing now. 

“I’ll talk you through it, I promise.” 

“Okay” Max agreed. 

Charles pulled back from him smiling and then kissed Max one more time quickly on the lips. He took one of Max’s pillows from the bed and put it on the floor in front of him. For his knees. Max got off the bed and lowered himself onto it. He felt unreasonably stupid, as if Charles would just laugh at Max for thinking he’d want to put his dick anywhere near him. Max looked up at Charles who wasn’t laughing at all though instead staring very directly at him with his hands shoved down his trousers like Max was exactly where he wanted his dick to go. 

“You look so good.” Charles said one hand touching Max’s jaw so he was looking right up at Charles as he rushed to get his trousers off with the other hand. Max, despite not really believing him, blushed more at the praise. Charles sat back to the bed just in front of him, his cock now out and fully hard. Max sort of moved forward to kiss it but Charles held his head still. Instead Charles dragged his fingers over Max’s lips for a moment before gently pushing his mouth open.

“Get them wet.”

Max relaxed his jaw, letting Charles; fingers sit in his mouth as he pushed his tongue up against them gently. Charles’ other hand found his hair again but he didn’t pull yet just stroked. Max hated how much it felt like teasing. He got confident with his tongue licking around and in between Charles’ fingers trying to keep his teeth away from them.

“Like that, good.” 

Max just started to lean forward to take more in when Charles pulled his hand back. He wrapped his wet fingers around his cock jerking it a little as he shuffled forwards getting so much closer to Max’s mouth.

“Open your mouth for me.” 

Max let his mouth fall open and Charles guided his head down so the head of his cock pushed past his lips. Sometimes Charles could seem almost like a girl but now with the taste of his precum leaking into Max’s mouth - Max couldn’t have predicted how much he would like this. He tried licking his tongue just under the head and Charles shivered a little. Rocking forward into Max’s mouth. He was holding back, just thrusting shallowly letting Max get used to it but Max wanted to do more. He wanted to take almost the whole thing like Charles had done, get Charles’ control to crack a little. 

Max took control of the pace again, working slowly down the length until he could feel Charles pushing at the back of his mouth. There was still almost half left. Max swallowed and tried to adjust himself and managed a little more but not without effort. Charles started to wove again, he was so much deeper now, there was no room for Max’s tongue to move anymore. 

“Fuck Max, that’s it.” Charles moaned, “So good.” 

Max keened at the praise, at the way he was so obviously making Charles feel good. He tried to push deeper again, but instead all he did was make himself splutter and gag and now Charles pulled out all the way so just the head of his cock rested on Max’s lips.

“Don’t need to go that deep.” Charles chided but Max wanted to try again. Charles could do it and Max was bigger anyway. He went slower this time, adjusting his breathing, the angle of his neck, focusing on relaxing his throat when Charles reached the back of his mouth. He got further this time as well, felt Charles push past the back of his throat. It made Charles gasp so beautifully and Max managed to hold him there for a few seconds too before he gagged again and Charles pulled him back off by his hair.

“You’re insane, it’s fucking hot.” Charles croaked above him, “Here, use your hand too.” 

Charles brought Max’s hand up to wrap around the bottom of his cock. Then slowly with his hand pulling at Max’s hair he started to push him up and down Max trying to keep his hand moving in time. This way he had less cock in his mouth but he could move his tongue again, try and find other ways to make Charles shiver. Charles sped up as he felt Max get move comfortable, he got rougher with Max’s hair too which almost made Max moan as much as Charles was.

“Your mouth feels so good.”

“So pretty, so good.”

Charles kept praising and praising. Max felt like he was melting, like he could have stayed like this for the rest of time, even with his jaw starting to ache. But more than that he wanted to make Charles cum, taste it. Everything was so debauched, it was like he was in a painting, his mind couldn’t touch any of the reasons he knew he had not to be here, right now everything only felt right. Max moaned more and more picking up on the way that was making Charles hips buck and his hand move them faster. Charles was panting now, he must be getting close. Max needed to tell him that he wanted him to come in his mouth. It felt so important he pulled back of Charles but kept his hand moving.

“Come in my mouth, please.” Max asked. 

Charles nodded frantically but they didn’t make it as soon as Max asked Charles came all over his lips and down his neck. Charles collapsed back onto the bed panting.

“Sorry.” Charles croaked and propped himself up on his elbows agan looking at Max, still kneeling on the pillow, Charles cum dripping down his chin. Max licked his lips a little just to try, it was bitter and salty but he didn’t mind it at all next time he would swallow it. He took the tissues Charles offered him and wiped himself up a little bit. Everything in his mind was being so quiet. 

“Max.” Charles said. “You okay there?”

“Yeah, was that okay?”

“You’re joking.” 

Max shrugged, feeling a little more confident now. Charles did look thoroughly worn out and that gave him a lot of pride. Max stood up and sat down on the bed next to Charles who seemed to be watching him very intently.

“What do you want to do?” Charles asked, still looking.

“The Maths.” Max replied, kicking his school bag a little. 

“I meant like a hand job but whatever gets you off, you little deviant.” Charles laughed and Max shifted his leg to kick Charles instead.

#smut #lestappen #Charles leclerc #max verstappen #f1 fanfic

[synonymroll648]

I'm just gonna rant here for a sec sorry about that:

I'm like weirdly excited today for no reason at all :D

And idk if I told you (my memory sucks) but I'm doing a Halloween event thingy and I'm kinda nervous but excited for it?? I think it might help me get back into writing and hopefully will give me some inspiration with my Fitz fic (that's fun to say lmao)

Anyways I hope you have a lovely day or night <3

i'm glad you're excited!! and good luck with your halloween event thingy!!! inspiration is lovely, we love inspiration <3

this is. very sweet of your to say. but for the most part your hopes were dashed because my day was kind of shitty. putting my ranting under the cut because i just need to get it out, but i care about strangers on the internet to not forcefully clog up their dashes with it. you're welcome. (but also if you scroll past my ranting you can see pictures of my science teacher's axolotl. just saying.)

i went into fake it until you make it mode about not being sick and convincing my mom i was fine was a little bit stressful but not too bad. school itself was kind of a fucking nightmare. i walked in and almost immediately found out that i'd missed out on even more work than online backup courses had told me i'd missed, from finding out math had gone faster than i'd thoght it had and finding out there'd been an english quiz no one had told me about. almost had a breakdown in math because i'd missed five lessons in the four days i was gone. and math is my hardest class. art i was being a perfectionist over a simple drawing assignment and making it harder than necessary and stewing about family issues because my brain is fun. the only part of my lunch i got to eat during the lunch period was my sandwich, which i scarfed down while waiting to get my coffee before going to my math class to work on shit i'd missed with my teacher. ate only some of my pretzels during my social studies class because that teacher's nice about snacks. found out i wasn't as behind as i thought i was in that class, which was good. science my teacher wasn't there and there was a sub instead so i couldn't ask the questions i needed to ask to catch up on a lab assignment the class had done while i was out sick, and ultimately didn't end up finishing the assignment that the rest of the class started and finished that day (it'll be easy to finish, but still). english was ultimately one of the easiest classes that day because i found out that the two assignments i need to finish in that class have lax deadlines, but it still sucked a lot because i got teamed with a guy that was super disruptive and making it SUPER FUCKING DIFFICULT to maintain my sanity and get work done. i'm a pretty chill person most of the time, but i was literally this close to picking up my metal water bottle and smacking this guy who thinks we're good friends even though i kind of despise him as hard as i fucking could with it because of how much he irritated me, suspension be damned. and my best friend that was there for all the days i'd been sick wasn't there the day i finally got back, and i'd been looking forward to seeing them again, so that sucked. and another good friend was there but i couldn't talk to it very much, which sucked because by the end of the day i just really wanted to ask for a way-too-long hug because i was in that mood of 'do i want to disappear from existence where my problems can't find me or do i want to burn the world to ashes?'. and now i'm back from school and just got done with HOURS of going through math homework that has bludgeoned my brain into a zombie state (which would've beat me up worse if my mom hadn't helped me so much, so shoutout to my mom for being an angel.)

BUT. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE THAT I AM CLINGING TO LIKE A FUCKING LIFELINE. I FINALLY GOT TO SEE MY SCIENCE TEACHER'S AXOLOTL. HIS NAME IS GANDALF AND HE'S SEVEN YEARS OLD AND HE'S FUCKING ADORABLE.

#i'm sorry i would image descriptions but i am. way way way too tired. could literally fall asleep rn #ask #cherryys-stuff

[qualityempathshoebear]

Fuck and Fucked

Well then, a lot has happened, some good things some bad. Ill update you.

Lets start with the good first, i have my last exam tomorrow (geo and physics) and then I never have to see these fuckers again. Very exciting, right? I have to say that I am thankful that my last couple of week of school havent been hell -I mean, they werent enjoyable but definetly not hell. Severly awkward and uncomfortable, yes, but hellish? No. Im so grateful to the girl group that took me in and made verything more bearable. I wouldnt have gotten through it without them, thats for sure. I have actually laughed-cried a couple of times with them aswell. Theyre great people that deserve great things.

Onto the bad. Yesterday my mom called me before i got home to tell me to meet her in the downstairs bedroom/livingroom/study area. She told me my sister had complained about our dad to CPS and accused him of abuse. She is so dumb. He gets andry sometimes, but he is not abusive. Im honestly so stressed by all of this and I feel this panic and anxiety heaving at my chest. She is so stupid. Does she not understand that dad could be charged, and all of us could be removed from our family. She is so fucking selfish. I talked to her and told her to fix it and she said she would but the worst part is that she isnt even bothered or regretfull at all. She is risking our livelihood and reputation for absoluly nothing. Its dusgusting. My parents have completely given up on her and my dad isnt even angry at her, in fact he is so sick of her he hasnt spoken to her at all. If this goes forward, dad could lose his job and this abuse charge could go on his permenant record and then he cant get a job abroad and move. He (we) would be stuck here, as a criminal.

Im being nice to her now, to keep her in check, and insure that she fixes this. But after this is over, I highly doubt me or anyone else in the family will speak to her again, especially dad.

Despite my problems with my family, they are all i have left. If I lose this too, I will be truly alone, and I dont think I can handle that.

Ps. I know this is silly to say considering the circumstances, but the boy with the same name as that of a south American country (except spelled with a different first letter) stopped talking to me and unfollowed me from instgram a while ago.

Also another unrelated update, my dad started applying to jobs again so hopefully we can move, if this CPS thing gets resolved.

Edit: I just found out that she told her math teacher, who just so happens to be my form tutor, and I have to see him tomorrow morning and all I can do is pretend like I dont know that he knows. I honestly feel so defeated. I just want to die. Luckily, its just 1 more day. Just tomorrow, and then im done for good.

Much love!

[penny4yathoughts]

Is your ring finger longer than your index finger?

So I am doing research for my developmental bio class right? And I come across a paper discussing how exposure to low or high levels of prenatal testosterone can cause gender dysphoria (haven’t read it all the way yet but seems to suggest a correlation between low levels of prenatal T in trans women, and high levels in trans men). It talked a lot about a thing called 2D:4D ratios which I had never seen before. 

APPARENTLY!! 

It’s suggested that high levels of prenatal T causes your ring finger (D4) to be longer than your index finger (D2).

“Research suggests that having a longer ring finger compared to index finger reflects greater exposure to male hormones during an individual’s time in their mother’s womb. There are differences between and within sexes in finger lengths associated with relatively more masculine versus feminine development.” (pic is from article linked in quotations)

Translation: if you have a longer ring finger it would suggest higher levels of exposure to male hormones in the womb. If you have a shorter ring finger it would suggest lower levels of exposure to male hormones in the womb. This is not based on what chromosomes you have or your agab.

Science is wild. So much shit happens in the womb that isn’t even determined by your genetics. And so much can happen with your genetics. Again, I still need to do more research. But I just thought I’d share cuz I thought it was cool!

Let me know if your ring finger is longer or shorter than your index finger!

Edit: having one finger be short or longer doesn't mean you're trans or not. It just suggests what levels of male hormones you were exposed to in the womb. It's correlation.

#gender dysphoria #tran #not discourse #trans gender #and yes my ring finger is longer than my index finger #so that would suggest I got exposed to higher levels of prenatal T #fun fact #science #science facts #research #transgender #lgbt #cool #interesting #i am genuinely excited by this information lol #i love science #this is like that time i got excited over a fucking math problem #and how i realized if that if you times a number by itself that is equal to one plus that number times one minus that number minus one #(x*x)-1=(x+1)(x-1) #like 7*7 is 49 #6*8=48 #which is one under 49 #and that works for any number #.... #lol #I am a nerd for weird info #biology #developmental biology #womb #shit that happens in the women

[sparklingchim]

Hopping onto the lwh-baby-discourse, what was oc’s reaction to the first times jk called her baby

maybe like this? :

You scrunch your nose, puffing annoyed.

"What's the matter?" Jungkook asks, immediately picking up on your frustration.

"What do you have for number four?"

Jungkook scans his sheet, which is completely inscribed with numbers and his handwriting. He flips back a few pages when he doesn't find what he's looking for.

"You're that far already?" you say, eyes wide.

"Yeah, well, I'm not highlighting and underlining every single thing with some pastel marker," he answers.

"But see how manageable my homework looks now? Definitely better than your illegible scribbles." You steal a sheet from him and scribble a little heart with your rose coloured marker on the corner. He's so to this by now. Every time Jungkook and you do your homework together, there are little doodles of you on almost every one of his sheets. "Looks cute, right?"

He hums mindlessly, sparing your little drawing only a brief look. "Here," Jungkook says, holding a paper in front of you. "For number four I've got eight."

You take his paper to examine how he solved the problem and Jungkook continues doing the math homework.

Your brows furrow when you're done comparing his way of solving the problem to yours. You don't understand what he has calculated to get that result.

You huff, eyes aimlessly wandering over the few people that are sitting in the library, doing either homework or studying for a test.

Somehow your gaze stops at Jungkook and you watch him from the side, his brows drawn together in deep concentration as he moves his wrist swiftly to fill the blank space with letters and numbers.

He looks so pretty, you think, when he has his attention completely focused on one thing. Even if it's as boring as math homework, Jungkook is able to become fully invested in it.

"What's wrong?" he asks without looking at you.

"I don't understand how you solved this," you talk in a a pout, voice quiet.

Once Jungkook puts his pen down and looks up from his homework, his knitted eyebrows ease and a tender expression fills his face.

"Baby," he says ever so gently. A little smile forms on his lips as he takes in your sulkiness.

Your soft features that were twisted into frustration changes into perplexity. Your eyes widen the slightest bit and Jungkook thinks you've never looked this adorable before.

"W-what?" you ask hesitantly, unsure of how to react to the new pet name. Though you can't deny the rush of excitement running through you.

"You look like a baby. Helpless and vulnerable." He chuckles lightly when he sees stubbornness settling on your face, you're pout only growing bigger.

"I don't look like a baby," you sulk. "Just, help me...please?" You push your sheet to him, sliding it over the paper he was just doing his homework on.

"Sure." He picks up the pen again and pulls your chair closer to his.

Before he starts explaining, he turns to you and squishes your mouth with his fingers digging into your cheeks.

You utter a sound of complaint, pushing his arm away.

"You're so cute," Jungkook smiles, scrunching his nose at you.

"And you're fucking annoying."

He quirks an eyebrow. "Want to try to solve this problem without my help?" He places his fingers on the paper, pretending to push it back in front of you.

You grab his wrist. "No, please." With pleading eyes you're looking up at him. "Explain it to me please?"

He grins smugly at your obedience. "I guess I have to since you're such a dummy for not being able to solve this easy problem."

The yelp that bubbles from Jungkook's lips after you smack him on the back of the head earns you both a stern look from the librarian.

#this has been in my drafts for SO long #im so sorry omg #darly asks #anon #fic: long way home #totally forgot that i wrote this until i went through my drafts #long way home drabble

[itsstrawberrymochi]

If you fail the subject they teach hcs

Prompt: If you failed the subject they teach in Kimetsu Academy ( the reader is not in the kny character’s class they just take the subject they teach in college)

Note: Ok so for legal reasons the reader is above 18 and is attending college

Characters: Rengoku, Sanemi, Kanae, Uzui and Obanai

Warnings: One single no no word in Sanemi’s part

Rengoku

📕 History 📕

- When you saw you failed your history test you weren’t scared to tell Rengoku in fact he was the first person you wanted to tell because you were really seeking his comfort

- When you told him he give you a big hug and told you how proud he was of you for trying 🥺

- He promised he would tutor you and help you study so you can get a way better grade next time

- Kyōjurō has a very fun and unique way of teaching

- He makes you do projects, watch history movies/ plays makes you play games, uses flash cards etc

- It may seem childish but it actually helps the information stick

- Gives you random pop quizzes emphasize on random

- Like you can literally just step out of the shower and he’s asking you what year was the First World War

- He’ll always always give you a prize if you get answers right it’ll be either candy or a sweet kiss ( ˘ ³˘)♥

- The day before the test is intense, you got workout music playing the in background, Senjuro in front of a white board keeping track of your score and Kyōjurō with flash cards in his hand asking you questions at lighting speed seeing how fast you can answer them

- The day of the exam he drops you off and wishes you the best of luck

- When he sees how amazing you did on the test he gets so happy and commends for doing so well he may even be more excited about the score than you

Sanemi

🧮 Mathematics 🧮

- As soon as you saw that failing grade your first thought wasn’t “ Aw man I’m so disappointed in myself” it was “ Oh my gosh Sanemi is gonna kill me”

- Because mf probably was

- He teaches one of the most important subjects in school and he reminds everyone especially you of it so you’re in a boat load of trouble with him

- When you got home he was actually excited to see how you did because you claimed you were going to pass with flying colors

- But when you refused to show him the score he knew you did bad

- He practically had to chase around your shared apartment the get the test

- Once he saw the score he was so mad he went silent eyes still gazing at the test

- You were in ✨fear✨

- You tried to make those excuses like everyone failed, or the professor put new topics

- But he was not buying it

- Sanemi was going to fix this problem immediately and when he said immediately he meant it

- Even though it was seven on a Friday night he made you go over the topics again and went over the test and every mistake you made

- And there was a lot

- During his torturing tutoring there was a lot of yelling

“If I have x + 29 amount of dishsoap and I take away 6 how much do I have left?”

“Why do you have so much dish soap?”

“That’s not the fucking point y/n!”

- There was also a lot of tears from you not because of Sanemi but because you didn’t want to study math anymore

- Despite his harsh teaching he’s actually good at what he does and you got a lot better at math you can even say you’re now the top student in math

- So the next time you get a math exam and get a score lower than 80 he’s definitely gonna kill you this time

Kanae

🧪 Biology 🧪

- If you’re really sad about it she’ll immediately comfort you

- She’ll get you your favorite food and give you lots of cuddling anything to make you feel better

- But if you’re chill about it just a little mad she’ll tease you a bit

- “Really y/n you’re going to fail the subject your own girlfriend teaches?”

- Like Rengoku she offers to tutor you

- Also like Rengoku she has a unique and good way of teaching

- She makes you watch lots of informative videos, makes you colorful flash cards etc

- Kanae hates the basic textbook learning she finds it boring she’s more of the hands on type

- She make you do lots of real life models of things because she thinks you’ll remember better that way

- You two have little field trips/ dates

- For example if you guys are learning about different types of organisms she’ll take you to a bunch of gardens in Japan where you can collect bugs and go home and compare them

- She’s the type to make songs or acronyms to help you remember long information

- When you get a good grade on your next test she’s taking you out to eat as a prize

Uzui

🖼 Art 🖼

- He would be livid

- Not at you but at the teacher who give you the failing grade

- Uzui strongly believes every art you make is flamboyant the teacher is just blind

- He might just pull a Karen and pull up to your school to tell that teacher a thing or two

- Baby boy would regrade it for you and give you a much higher grade and even though the grade can’t be your official one it still makes you feel better

- If you ask he’ll be more than happy to help better your art skills

- He has a really weird way of teaching though

- Like before every lesson he’s making you do laps around the house or watching a movie while you’re upside down

- He claims that’s how you get the creative juices flowing~

- He’s even weirder during the lesson and messy.. there’s no way you’re leaving that art room without a rainbow of paint on you and glitter stuck in your hair

- The next time you have an art project he’s gonna help you 😌

- But don’t make him take over the whole thing cause he’ll just put dynamite all over it

- Uzui believes art is an explosion! ( if you got this reference I’ll love you forever)

Obanai

⚛️ Chemistry ⚛️

- He wouldn’t exactly be mad that you failed the subject he teaches he’d just be confused because he always helps you with your homework

- But then again Obanai usually just does the work for you because he says you work too slow

- The most you do on your own chemistry homework is put your name and the date

- If you’re lucky he’ll let write the chemicals symbols when balancing a chemical equation

- Obanai already hates teaching chemistry at school now he has to bring in to his own home?

- The things he does for love

- He would go over the test again scoff and roll his eyes at the stupid mistake you make

- “really y/n you don’t know the atomic number of carbon??”

- He’s very hard on you when teaching only because that’s the only way he knows how to teach and plus you’ll get better that way

- He’s not the videos, fun projects type of teacher he’s more the textbook notebook pen and that’s it

- And the pen has to be black or blue no vibrant colors 😔

- If you’re making great progress he will allow you to try experimenting

- But the moment you cause a giant explosion you’re done 😭

- He won’t show it but he’ll be really proud of you progress he’ll have a little smile on behind his badaeges when you get an answer correct

- Sometimes he’ll give you a head pat if you do well

- Usually when his students make mistakes they end up crying because of his nasty words but he can’t do that to you because you’re his love and he doesn’t work to hurt you feelings

- So when you do make a mistake he’ll just repeat the question in a slightly more aggressive tone like that’ll help 😒

- When you get another test and show him you’re amazing score he’ll jus go “ You better” but once you walk away he has a smile on his face because he is very very proud of you

How I imagine it’d be if Sanemi tutors you 👆

#anime #demon slayer #kny headcanons #kny x reader #kny rengoku #sanemi x reader #rengoku x reader #obanai x reader #uzui headcanons #uzui x reader #demon slayer kanae #kanae x reader

[jameui]

SPECIAL PRESENT 1

Requested

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Jung Yunoh x College Student!M!Reader (featuring: Bestfriend!Lee Jeno)

GENRE: Fluff, Smut

WARNINGS: Unprotected intercourse, huge age gap, a lot of IMPORTANT flashbacks (i think), daddy kink, sex toys, overstimulation

SUMMARY: You were a striving student in Resonance High and had perfect records. Besides your devotion to your education, you were also gifted with a talent. All these stuffs making your sugar daddy, Jaehyun, proud of you, so he decided to give you a night you won't forget.

(P.S. so i was fucking dumb to actually think that when you said performance, you meant by performing on a stage, when you actually meant, how male reader actually did good in school. I was too late to notice. sorry. if this didn't reach your expectations.

The school's foundation day is fast approaching and each student at Resonance High are all excited preparing for that certain day. During the school's foundation day, events such as competition in sports and performances like singing and dancing or spoken poetry. All sorts of event takes place in that particular, not only a day, but a week, that every students can take part in.

The school's foundation day does not only happen after a day. It's a week of celebration for the foundation and, of course, free from homeworks and projects that students have to worry about. All their focus must be on having fun on those days and be active in participation. Some students never liked the thought about celebrating a foundation day, but you on the other hand, thought otherwise as it's your first time celebrating it with a friend, since you never really get to do it with any due to you practically being locked up in your house for almost all years of your life.

Now, you were away from your family and you got to finally do anything you wanted. For example, having a sugar daddy who gave you all the help you needed. Sure, at first, you were just doing it out of mere fun, but you never quite expected to actually grow feelings for the older male. You didn't know when it started, but the first time you ever felt the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach was when he became worried and concerned when you got sick after a very excessive practice, the day prior. You wanted to tell him so, so bad, but you didn't know how to.

You were scared that maybe you were crossing the line or coming off too strong or maybe he'd walk away if you broke the agreement. It first started with just you only being up for it because of the agreement. Though, you never really went as far as you giving him a good blow or having a steamy bath with him. Either way, he was still someone you could trust and the only person you could rant about all your problems. The thought of losing all these scared you the most.

Unlike some other people, Jaehyun was smart and was a successful businessman, owning one of the richest companies in the industry. Jaehyun, when he's not busy, he'd help you out with your math homeworks or would just do it for you, since he found it fun and easy. Sometimes, you think he's Einstein, reincarnated.

Jaehyun, besides his brains, is also fun to be with. He knows about your passion and talent for singing and dancing and your once dream to be an artist, so he would sometimes play loud music in the living room through the speakers and you two would be singing along, him making up lyrics when he have no idea what the song artist's saying in their song. He'd sometimes call them drunk, because they sounded like they were slurring their words, which you would always laugh to. Also, he'd let you teach him a few dance steps you saw on tiktok and you'd record it together, only for the fun of both of you.

You were seated by your section's booth and couldn't help, but crack a smile from the thought. That was until one of your classmates decided to cut the moment. "What's with the smile?" Jeno, one of your friends, questioned with a smirk whilst carrying a case of bottled apple juice, placing it beside the stand of the booth.

"Here to tease me, again?" You scoffed at him, as he shrugged his shoulders. You rolled your eyes at him and stood up from your seat before heading to the school's gate where the rest of the important necessitated items are waiting. You skipped along the way and stopped by the pick up truck that was parked at the parking lot. "Anything I can help with?" You asked with a smile.

"Here's the last of 'em." He gave you two cases of the bottled drinks, one stacked above the other making you grunt.

"This is heavy." You muttered under your breathe, your thin hands barely holding onto the handles. "Th-thanks." You told them your feet wobbling from the heavy weight of the trays.

Jeno who came walking back outside saw you struggling, making him chuckle deciding to help you. "Need help with that?"

"Yes, please." You said before passing the trays to Jeno carefully, so it doesn't topple over. "Thanks." You smiled at him, cracking your knuckles and shaking it to reduce the pain you felt on your hands.

"Welcome." He said, then walking back to the booth, with you beside him. "Ah, M/n. By the way, are you attending the practice this afternoon?"

"Yeah. Of course. Why do you ask?" You chuckled, kicking on a pebble that came your way.

"Oh, I just thought you'd be busy sucking your daddy's—"

"JENO!" You yelled at him with an evident blush on your face cutting him off to avoid anyone hearing what Jeno had to say. It's always been like this. Since the day you told him about having a sugar daddy, he'd always tease you no matter where you are or what you're doing. He'd always use your excuses against you and now, you're regretting ever telling him.

"Okay, okay. Damn." He laughed at your reaction, you staring daggers at him.

Just as you were about to spat back at him, you heard a group of girls' voices calling out to you. "M/n! M/n! M/n!" They were successful in gaining your attention, while they smiled running up towards you. "M/n! You didn't tell us you have a handsome brother..." One of them said, while batting their lashes.

You knitted your brows in confusion. "I have?" You asked the girls, who looked like they knew better and nodded their heads. First of all, you don't have a brother, but you have three sister, two are older and one is younger. Second, you don't even know who these girls were and yet, they mysteriously knew your name and who you were. "Wait, who are you talking—"

"M/n-ah." You heard that sweet raspy voice of the man you loved, your head snapping towards him who stood by the side of your booth. You guessed he was on his break, since he was still in his suit and it was already past twelve in the afternoon.

"Jaehyun!" You giggled as you ran to him, all the while opening his arms for you to throw yourself in. You gladly complied and wrapped your arms around him, the lot older male doing the same as he hung his long arms on your waist. You snuggled into his chest before you looked up at him to see him already looking down at you with a smile that displayed his deeply carved dimples. "What are you doing here? Aren't you busy?" He made you giggle when he patted your head and planted a kiss on your forehead.

"I wanted to see my baby." Jaehyun replied, then pouting. "I've been so tired lately."

You furrowed your brows in concern and hugged him tighter. "Can't you take a three days off?"

"I want to, but I got to keep the company running if I don't want it to fail." He answered you, making you nod your head.

Once the girls saw these, they quickly felt embarrassed and walked off without making a sound, Jeno laughing at them.

"Then, why don't I treat you to something sweet? How's that?" You wanted to do something for the older and this was the only thing you could ever think of.

The pout was still glued to his face when he looked back down at you. "Angel, we agreed that I would do the treating."

"Well, you're the one who needs my help, right now, so I want to do something for you, other than..." You cleared your throat and mumbled, "...the other things I do for you."

Jaehyun chuckled, as he finally gave in to your offer while he ruffled your hair. "Alright."

You pulled away from him once he had loosened his grip from around your waist. You took him by the wrist and told Jeno that you'd be somewhere else, leaving Jeno with the rest of the responsibilities, promising him to make up to it.

You were leading Jaehyun to the canteen, before he gently pulled on your hand. You turned your head towards him, your eyes moving down to where he held you. You chuckled and smiled. "What's wrong?"

"Can... I hold your hand, M/n?" The question took you aback, only since he never really asks those type of questions. Ones he only asks are some that goes by the line 'can you suck my dick?' or of some sort.

"Sure." You managed to smile from the obvious shock that got Jaehyun a little red. "You didn't even have to ask." You added to which he nodded to shyly. It would be times like this when you would forget that he is a good thirty years old because of his cute personality.

You two finally made it to the canteen, the taller male receiving a lot of stares from all those present inside. Jaehyun was yet to spot the attention he was gaining, but you were already feeling iffy even though you knew that those heart eyes were for Jaehyun. But, you couldn't help the feeling that those eyes didn't like you being around Jaehyun. "J-Jaehyun..." You squeaked out silently, tugging on the sleeve of his suit, taking his attention whilst smiling down at you. His smile faltered upon noticing how you looked subtly shaken and cowered in fear. "I.. I think we should leave."

"Baby, what's wrong? You look so tense." Jaehyun asked you out of pure concern, cupping your cheeks as he gently tilted your head upwards, so you could face him, but you removed his hands from your cheeks that got him almost shocked since you'd never really let yourself move away from his grasp, instead you would usually just lean into his touch and let yourself succumb to the warmth he was radiating, but this. This was different and he knew exactly that something was bothering you.

"Can we go, please?" You sounded like you were begging for you two to quickly move outside, leaving Jaehyun with no choice, but to nod his head and let you drag him out of the place. Alas, you were outside, but he never received even a word from you nor a hum, a sigh, nothing. Just complete silence.

He grew more worried thinking that he might have done something that he shouldn't have or said something that made you feel so uncomfortable. He was getting anxious as you continued to keep your mouth closed and never said a word. "Baby, you know you can trust me, right?" Jaehyun caressed your thumb in a comforting manner, his eyes showing how much he truly cared for you and how genuinely worried he was. He was scared that he might have done something wrong to you.

He himself never knew how it got to this. At first, just like you, he had only intended to find some fun in the relationship you both had and not actually grow some feelings towards you, but the first time he ever met you, all he ever had thought in his head was to protect you at all cost and give you everything you wanted, spoil you with all his money and riches, give you forehead kisses and pleasure that can make you see stars. Since the start, he only thought of this as something platonic and that it was a part of the agreement you both had consent on, but as you two got to spend more time together, he always felt something blossom inside of him. He always looked forward to every day, mainly because he had you to wake up to. His usual stoic expression, completely turned into those that said 'sunshine' all spread out on his face. That's when he completely knew, it was not only the benefits he was up for, anymore. It was you and his love for you.

He was just your usual workaholic man, who had nothing in his head rather than work, work, and work. Not until the day he bumped into you on that one faithful day, when you were so drained from all the studying you had to do and decided to buy coffee. You were so intimidated by his face that he got you cowering in fear when you turned to look up at him. The only courage you could muster was so small that you were only able to give him a polite bow before you entered the coffee shop to buy your favorite cappuccino coffee.

He was so intrigued by you that the next day, during that same time, he waited for you in that same exact location, but you never showed up. Until later. You were so shocked from the sight of him. You feared he'd beat you into a pulp, so you hid your face with your hand, hoping he didn't see you, but luck wasn't on your side that day and decided to let Jaehyun notice your presence.

"Hey, I—"

"Sorry, sir. I'm quite busy, right now." You immediately cut him off and got inside the shop, Jaehyun following suit. Your eyes made its way back towards the older who was following behind you closely. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to look at him, retracting his body from looking through your shoulders, throughout the whole time smiling down at you with his dimples showing. "Excuse me, sir, but do I owe you with something?"

Jaehyun pursed his lips, thinking before smirking and leaning closer to your face, with you, all the while, pulling your head back. "Yes." He answered you with his hands shoved confidently inside his pants.

Your gaze averted from his mesmerizing eyes to the table that supported you and kept you from falling. You gulped and felt your lips go dry. "D-do you need money? I don't have much, but will 7,000 won be enough?" You fondled through your pockets and took out your wallet.

"What? No, no." He chuckled, one hand taken out from his pockets and scratching his eyebrows while he sighed. "I have an offer."

Your brows were pulled together looking up at him, curious. "What is it?"

"Give me your number and I'll tell you over the phone."

And that's how it all started. Of course, he told you about lying that you owed him something, either way you were thanking the God above that he created you as gullible as ever.

As of the moment, Jaehyun could only feel his nervousness rise as he continued to stare at your back. "M/n, please say something. You're making me feel so worried."

"Jaehyun..." You finally stopped walking and spoke, before throwing yourself into him, the impact suddenly taking all the air inside Jaehyun's lungs away. "Don't leave me... please." You pleaded, your arms around him going tighter.

Jaehyun softened and felt himself get blanketed over with relief. He raised his hand to put it on top of your head and caressed them softly and soothingly. "I won't, M/n. I promise you."

In the end, Jaehyun was the one who treated you with something to eat. You were sat at a bench near your class' booth, Jaehyun next to you, while you swayed your feet back and forth. "Hyunnie." You called out to him with a new nickname you came up with, Jaehyun choking on his burger letting out a few coughs while you patted his back, laughing. "How the hell do you eat a burger that it got you choking on it?"

His coughing finally stopped and looked at you with a surprised face. "The nickname. You never called me that before."

You pouted in reply and blushed in embarrassment. "Do you.. not like it?"

"No, of course not." He was quick to shake his head, then cleared his throat, looking away. "It's cute."

You were able to see the pink tint painting his cheeks that you always found cute, since it's a very rare sight to see. Teasingly, you peeked over and was able to confirm that he was, in fact, blushing from just the nickname you created. "Oh my gosh, you're blushing." You cooed and immediately, Jaehyun scoffed, facing you to land a small kiss on your lips that got you widening your eyes and wiping away the mocking smile you had on your face. Your fingers made its way up towards your lips, unable to speak.

"Now, tell me who's blushing." Jaehyun smirked.

You glared at him, but instead of feeling intimidated, he found it cute. "I'm just surprised, since you never really like to, er, kiss me on the lips." You whispered the last part, loud enough for only you and him to hear.

You two were so happy in each other's company, that you both forgot that Jaehyun had somewhere else to be. That being his work. He wouldn't have noticed the time passing, if it wasn't for the alarm he had set, knowing he'd lose track of time when he's around you.

You walked him to his car and saw him off, waving your hand at him, not leaving until he was finally out of sight. You put your hands back down and sighed happily, walking back towards where you should be: at the booth where you should be finishing the preparation.

"So, how was the quick date?" Jeno asked you with a smirk, the sleeves of his shirt pushed back inside the hole that connected it to the shirt, showing his perfectly built muscles.

"It was great! Save for the part where I received death glares at the canteen. That felt terrible." You shuddered at the thought, but smiled again. "That aside, it was great."

"Your schedule didn't change? Are there still room for practice later?" Jeno asked you for the nth time that day. He's been asking you since you entered the classroom.

"It didn't, Jeno. Why are you so eager with me being present in the practice?" You chuckled at him, deciding to help him pack the treat bags you will give out to your customers.

"I just can't be left alone there with people I don't know. I'm an awkward person." Jeno told you.

"Jeno. You're literally known by all the students here and you're scared because they're strangers to you? I bet they all even want to be friends with you." You said, but Jeno just shook his head, his hair moving along with him.

"No, M/n. You must and need to attend the practice, either way." Jeno demanded of you.

You rolled your eyes at him and sighed deeply through your nose in defeat. "Fine, fine." Jeno's eye smile appeared and let out a small 'yes' making you chuckle.

"Hey, M/n." A voice started from outside the booth and saw a girl with her arms crossed, looking down at you whilst you seated at the ground. You looked up at her, but she didn't look friendly. She looked angry than friendly.

Your eyes flickered toward Jeno, then back to the girl and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Don't give me that smile, you whore." She spat at you, all of a sudden.

Your eyes closed shut, your mouth wide open and your forefinger raised up while you pushed it towards her way and scoffing. Your eyelids tore open and you smirked at the girl. "Excuse me? Whore? Who you calling a whore?"

"Listen, midget—"

"No, you listen here, Barbie." You said, a mocking tone with the last word. "You full on plastic, bitch. Get away from my sight. You look like a parasite."

The girl gasped in shock and opted to pull on your hair, but Jeno held her by her wrist and angrily stared at her. "You heard him. Get away. I'm not afraid to punch a person, even a girl, if they're purpose was to mistreat and shame on an innocent person." Jeno threw her hand away like it was trash, sending the girl from moving two steps back before stomping her foot and turning on her heels to walk away.

You could still see Jeno glaring at the girl while you looked at him in shock. "Wow, wow. Look at you."

"Sh. I'm not done yet." Jeno hushed you, before he continued his work. "You were saying?"

"Nothing. Was just shocked you told that girl off. I could have handled myself just fine, but thanks to you, I'm saved from causing a ruckus." You said, Jeno huffing through the nose.

"Seriously, you." He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose and knitted his brows. "Stop making the problem bigger."

"No way. I need to put up a fight. If I don't, they'd see me as someone weak." You defended yourself.

"And you can't even handle death glares that's being sent towards you?"

You were about to speak and fight back, but he was right. "That's... that's a different matter."

"Sure, it isn't, M/n." He said rolling his eyes.

Later that afternoon, past 5 p.m., you and Jeno excused yourselves from the class, since you have a dance practice for your performance on the opening of the foundation day. Out of habit, you skipped beside Jeno who was happy that you got to attend the practice today. Again.

You never really liked the person who choreographed the whole song. It was under a genre you thought you could never pull off or fit in, so your confidence was at a very low level. During practices, though, you try your best not to make it obvious that you were uncomfortable for that certain concept, but you still had to be seen making a lot of mistakes, some of the other students who joined clearly agitated. You could only bow and bow and bow at the mistake you knew you clearly had done, feeling guilty for the reason why always had to start again from the top. The reason why you never really got along well with these students.

You have arrived at the practice room, taking quiet steps as you both entered the venue trying your best not to make a sound. The intense gazes you received from the other students didn't come unnoticed by you, the reason why you pulled your knees closer to your chest as you buried your face in it. Clearly, they were enjoying those two few days you were absent, since they got to finish practice early and with no interruption nor mistakes. But, now that you're around, they knew exactly what awaited them.

Jeno saw you curled up into a ball and eyes making its way up to the students who looked so angry with you making him frown. "M/n. Don't mind them. You're actually doing even greater than them." He tried to cheer you up, so you acknowledged it with a smile.

"Thanks, Jeno. But, I don't think that will change the fact that my uneasiness with the dance is the reason why we have to start over and over again." You sighed and placed your head back down on your knees, Jeno drawing circles on your back.

A moment later, the mentor came walking in, displeased to see you present. "Oh, welcome back... M/n." He stated before you could hear those loud snickers coming from the students. You and Jeno were the first ones to stand in position, the others following suit. The mentor's face lit up with an idea on his mind. "Can everyone please take a seat for a couple of minutes?" He smiled, then looking at you. "Except for you, L/n."

Jeno's eyes fell upon you, a worried look on his face, mouthing 'I'll be fine' to reassure him as he sat back down along with the other students until it was only you and the mentor left standing. "You think telling your 'boyfriend' about me would scare me?" He mocked you with your head still hung low. "You have to try better than that." He smirked, pulling a chair to seat on it. His legs were on either side of the chair, so his chest was pressed upon the back rest of the chair to face you. "Start."

You were startled by the sudden order and went into position, but you only started fidgeting out of fear. "Where... I.. sir.. Do I stand—"

"L/n!" He yelled at you, making you jump from the sudden raise of his voice. You knew telling Jaehyun was a bad idea. "Fix yourself, will you? The performance is due tomorrow and you're such a mess." The misery you were caged in were the happiness of the students as they started to giggle, your fist clenching hard until your knuckles turned white.

The music started, but you were still nowhere from moving your body. You just stood there, head hanging low while gnashing your teeth. You weren't angry at the mentor. You were angry at yourself. You were angry that you couldn't do any better. You practiced the dance so hard, yet it were still so far from perfecting it. You just wished some kind of spirit would possess you and lead your body.

The whole place started to laugh at you as they watched you shamelessly froze on your position. You felt a small jab on your ribs that made you open your clenched fists and saw Jeno standing right beside you with a grin on his face, your expression softening as he started to lead the dance. Slowly, you felt your own body move to the beat and rhythm of the song, being at the same flow with Jeno. The students only watched while the song ended.

A slow clap from your mentor was heard, a smile plastered on his face. "Way to impress me you two, huh?" He stood from the chair and waisted his arms. "L/n." His eyes moved to you, expecting yet another scolding. "I'm proud of you. Keep up that confidence and I just know you'll do great." You felt a smile creeping its way up to your face, before the mentor closed in on you and ruffled your hair. "Alright, everyone. From the top."

-----

The practice ended at exactly eight o' clock in the evening and you were already feeling drained, your sweat soaked shirt sticking to your body. Your forehead glistened with sweat, that ran down to the side of your cheeks. You panted heavily and flopped your body down on the polished floor.

Why that late you ask? Well, you and Jeno decided to stay for a few hours to polish the dance, him pointing out your mistakes and going back to the steps to correct you. You were grateful Jeno was a very patient guy, so whenever you made a mistake or wasn't executing the dance properly, he'd just chuckle and help you with your 'cute mistakes', at least that's what he called it.

"Finally..." You panted, Jeno settling himself beside you, his limbs sprawled all over the floor. "Done."

"You did so great, M/n! I knew you could pull this off." Jeno gave you a compliment that made you giggle, a hand on your chest to catch your breathe.

"And it was all thanks to you." You told him.

Jeno shook his head. "Ey. The only thing I did was help your body to loosen up."

"Exactly." The cute noises coming out of your mouth once more. "Do you think we should practice more?" You asked the older who moved his head to look at you.

"Still up for one more?" He smiled knowingly at you, while you nodded at him. You both stood up from where you both lied and you went to your position with Jeno moving to the speakers to play the song for the last time.

The minute you both finished, you were so exhausted that your knees couldn't hold themselves up anymore and you fell to the ground, groaning. You were panting heavily, starting to even your breathing at the same time laughing proudly at yourself for how well you've done. "When I get home, I'm gonna take a shower and then, throw myself on the bed and sleep."

Jeno could only laugh and you two were left with half an hour talking about all the things in life. You listened to him rant about how the mentor was being more harsh on you than the other students, but you only shook the topic off telling him that it no longer mattered and that he should already move on. You had also thanked him for helping you, during that time when you had to do the dance routine all by yourself. You really didn't know what else to do than to just stand there and sulk.

A few minutes later, both of you were now starting to pack, Jeno having to make a quick visit to the restroom, leaving you all alone inside the studio. You were changing into a dry shirt, when the voice of the janitress from behind the window made your body go tense as you jumped and turned towards her. "Oh, fuck." You sighed out in relief, holding your hand close to your chest. "You scared me, ma'am."

Her eyes turned into those that looked like crescents and smiled. "My bad. Probably shouldn't have passed by unannounced." She nodded and proceeded to mop the hallway floor.

You were about to ask her about a certain matter that was troubling you, but when you lifted your head to face the woman, she was not there anymore. "Uh.. probably left for something." You shrugged it off and went back to scrolling through your feeds, the certain feeling of being watched sending chills down your spine. The silence was so deafening that you started to whistle to a song you were currently into, just to help calm the unnerving feeling. You started to feel all the hair on your body stand on its end when a very harsh opening of the door sent you off flying, then to the ground your heart beating so fast. "Shit!"

Jeno was obviously confused why you got so scared by him just pushing the door open, but he was also laughing at your state which made you glare at him. He helped you stand back up to your feet, as you dusted your pants from any invisible dirt. "What the hell happened to you?"

"You scared the shits out of me. That's what happened." You scoffed at him, hitching your back higher onto your shoulders. "Let's go." You two vacated the room, making sure to lock it, but you told Jeno not to since the janitress was still yet to finish cleaning, but Jeno was greatly puzzled at what you had said.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Jeno laughed lightly before proceeding to lock the door and hung an arm around your shoulder.

"I saw her through the window." You added.

Jeno shook his head in disbelief and didn't fall for your trick to scare him off. "First, the school does not hire a janitress or a janitor, since they have working students. Second, so the dance major students don't get distracted, the window inside the room is tinted, so you basically don't see anything outside."

You felt your heart sink at the revelation as you felt all your blood get drained. "Are you... s-sure?"

"Yeah." Jeno answered your question. You slowly turned your head back towards the room, the windows and saw a black figure waving their hands at you that made you sprinting off to the entrance, leaving a dumbfounded Jeno as he followed behind you. "What the hell, M/n?"

"Shut... up! You were not the one left inside the dance room, so you wouldn't know how much I'm fucking scared, right—"

"M/n!"

"FUCK!" You screamed on the top of your lungs, stomping your foot and punching the air for no apparent reason. "Jaehyun, you... nevermind. Just take me home, please. I think I'm already fucking wasted." Jaehyun, who was on his casual attire, approached you and placed a kiss on top of your head.

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