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#this is like the third time too which is FINE bc luckily i am not busy on mondsy april 26th at 8 am but
thrilling-oneway · 3 months
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You are so right with m/f stuff! I’m not familiar with a lot of VBS shipping discourse, but it’s annoying to see how people can’t write an analysis on how important Tsukasa is to Rui without others dog piling them and saying they’re delusional and ignoring canon for their yaoi “with no content”. (At least on twitter, tumblr is much better with this) And as someone whose also bisexual, it’s so annoying seeing people use bisexuality as a gotcha to ship m/f and act as if its progressive and that it gives them the okay to hate on f/f and m/m pairings.
YES YES EXACTLY. God I hate when people keep saying that ruikasa has no content and their dynamic is underdeveloped whenever anyone talks about them. Like as biased as I am because I like the ship, they do have a very developed dynamic regardless of if you like the ship or not. Literally there's three events about it (potato and pandemonium + it was a pretty big background element in curtain call), one of which is the third event in the game. like if you don't like ritk that's perfectly fine, but when people are dogpilling ritk shippers for talking about their dynamic/pandemonium chapter 8/wtv and saying they're reaching, especially if the person doing this is an account dedicated to another rui ship/are a rui fan, it's a bad look because you're literally ignoring a very significant part of his arc. Ignoring massively important aspects of a character you claim to like just because of a ship is low. This fandom is way too set on everything being about shipping like bruh no one is telling you that you had to view pandemonium as romantic you can view it as platonic perfectly fine and not need to erase parts of rui's character to justify your rui/female character ship.
it's an especially weird situation with VBS as well. as much as I hold the earlier EN fandom to a higher standard there was a lot of discourse around VBS and the fact that they're implied gay. like it used to be a situation where if you admitted you shipped m/f vbs you would get jumped. as a comeback people would accuse biphobia but i never saw huge amounts of people being actually biphobic. saying "an and kohane are quite heavily implied to be lesbians (and it makes some people uncomfortable to see them shipped with men)" is a true statement but people didn't need to attack others over it. not liking a bi headcanon isn't biphobic unless you're actually being biphobic about it yknow? luckily it calmed down after a while but now you get jumped for not shipping m/f which leads us straight back to the statement about an and kohane. gbr the situation with vbs shipping nowadays is much worse than the situation when i first joined, obviously partially bc of the massive increase in fandom size but mainly because people are spewing actual homophobic rhetoric over akty ankh (someone literally tried to claim heterophobia was real bc of people not liking m/f vbs a couple months ago. actually this has happened multiple times).
AND YES GOD THIS FANDOM'S APPROACH TO BI HEADCANONS IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. Like people only use it as a way to make m/f ships more queer and try to 1 up people with it because oh yes male/female couple are not the norm at all and they're so cool and different and if you add a bi/pan hc on top of that it makes you more progressive (/s). HCing a character as bi does not give you cool points and the fact that so many people only do it for m/f ships pisses me off to no end because people treat it like Straight 2 when bi people can be in m/m and f/f relationships. People can hc whatever they want ofc but it's so obvious sometimes that people are only using bi hcs as a way to quickly round off their hcs for every character so they can multiship or justify their m/f ships as queer and at that point I'd rather they just hc'd them as straight because I don't like seeing my identity used solely for the purpose of making a ship more queer because someone doesn't want their m/f to be a hetship.
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bvannn · 2 months
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Weekly Update February 9, 2024
The sick has returned. I took my medicine for it this morning but so far it doesn’t seem like it’s gone away, but admittedly my symptoms today could be the result of me having a bad day and it being cold outside, and not necessarily the sick. That’s also why I’m posting this update earlier than usual. If it persists tomorrow I’ll know it’s more surgery side effects, and maybe I’ll message my doctor if it stays throughout the week again. Last week went pretty well so I want to assume this week being messed up was just a fluke. I still got some stuff done, though.
I got a bunch of drawings done, most of them epithet erased and fanart rather than OCs but that’s fine. Fwiw I did get a few more comic pages done, though not one a day like I was hoping. I’ll try another tonight, maybe more if I’m in a good mood. I’m also starting to listen to more music, which should hopefully get inspiration flowing a bit better so I can do more OC art as well.
I still got an animation shaped void I need to fill but haven’t figured out what to do yet. I’d like to try something to music but I gotta get a song done first. So I’ve been trying to work on music but I’ve been so scatterbrained that it’s a bit hard. I’m hoping this weekend I’ll have time, but good chance I’ll try to spend it keeping my mood high instead. I guess I could do some OC animation tests, figure out how clip studio animation works too. Maybe.
Music: been toying with some slow ambient instrumental stuff, and that bigger edm one with the piano I posted a sample of a while ago. Turns out EDM is super easy, so if I can find reasons to keep doing it I will, although admittedly I’m not as big on it as I am on other genres. I’m close to done on that EDM one, partially because it’s supposed to be kinda short. I haven’t touched lyric stuff, I might have to soon though since my congenial medical bs is flaring up again too, and lyrics are luckily something I can do while bedridden. Idk I like how the instrumental is going.
I redid that melody I posted the other day for the ambient track, admittedly didn’t change much but I swapped the third measure out, dropped a few notes, and actually tried it on a lower bpm and with some reverb because I forgot to do that for the samples I posted (whoops), and it sounds fine. I need some other parts for that one still, maybe I’ll use placeholders and just figure out the rest of the instrumentation bc I got that half finished.
Haven’t touched vocaloid again yet. Maybe I’ll make some quick demos so I can understand how tuning works. I’ll probably pick a memey or old song and if I make anything presentable I’ll post it.
Been looking for more VSTs too, I compare it to looking for new brushes whenever you’re dissatisfied with your art. Vital has been good for EDM, basically fixed all my problems for me, again. Also started messing with decentsampler again and it’s probably going to fix my problems when I’m working on that ambient track.
I think this weekend and next week I’ll aim to get some time with the big fancy keyboard and just unload a bunch of recording at once. Force myself to finish shit. Tonight I’d like to as well, but that depends on how bad my homework ends up. And if I get flare ups again. I’m still working on dealing with that condition but I need two or three more surgeries before it’s really going to be gone. And I have to wait for those. I’m not worried about money for now since I’m pretty sure I can get a decent job after I graduate (and at a minimum I can go back to the job I had last summer which I liked and paid pretty well). Right now I don’t have a source of income but I think I’ll be fine, I just need to not spend money, which I’m pretty good at. Next week I’ll focus on music stuff first, throw in some drawings if I can, and keep at those comic thumbnails. Once those are done I’ll start on pages.
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hahaonlyjoking · 10 months
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musings on growth
i should really be more consistent when it comes to documenting my thoughts on myself because there are both a number of things that have changed and those that have not at all. since i wrote my last post i started a full time job at an animal shelter, and felt i was getting better! great! there were a few things that came before that such as breaking down sobbing to my therapist after accidentally accepting the job before i meant to and then being perpetually anxious for the first 6 months bc my co-worker definitely did not like me. but! i settled in, found a rhythm, made it work, became happy! decided to go back to school bc i felt i was in that such a good place now that i could do it! quit my job, went back to school. forgot to mention, global pandemic that started about 6 months before my first lecture, got really into baking. made macarons!
first semester i took world politics and photoshop. loved one hated the other. guess which? i loved photoshop so much i decided that my major should be graphic design, and signed up for three classes the next semester! wow! doing so well! second semester and i stopped doing assignments for art history bc it was 1000 words a week and i simply could not make myself do it. the urgency was not compelling enough. but now i was self-aware about my executive dysfunction instead of me literally almost self-harming screaming whyyyyyy. so growth? hmmmm. finished the other 2 classes! woooo! should be a-ok to sign up for 2 for third semester! half-way into third semester the executive dysfunction picks up and i’m not completing work for either class and send a half-assed sorry! gotta drop the classes! to the professor and then ghost. lol. around the same time i stopped going to therapy. they were video calls at this point (still in a global pandemic) and i ghosted there too. my lack of accountability is really going to catch up with me at some point.
anyway, here i am, over two years later and no more credits done since then. lying to pretty much everyone around me that i’m still in school, still working on a degree, still taking meds, still in therapy, still seeing a psychiatrist. i feel as though my understanding of myself has increased leaps and bounds but that’s not something i can really use to help me change my behavior, just analyze it. and saying feel there is particularly noticeable. meaning that is not necessarily true ahahaaaaaaaa. regardless, first step is getting back on meds. i’m exercising now (growth! working w my trauma!), and my hypothesis is that plus the wellbutrin i think i can get back to arf mood. healthcare is currently taken care of *wipes brow* luckily, bc that was part of the reason i stopped getting meds/going to the psychiatrist. i couldn’t make myself deal with health insurance and i couldn’t explain that to my therapist. i do feel like she could’ve reached out more than twice after she stopped hearing from me though. it’s fine, whatever.
so if i was going to make a goal for this summer it would be getting back on meds and signing up for classes again.
but that should wait actually because for over a year my eyes have been deteriorating and part of the reason i haven’t gotten them checked out is health insurance related. so i webmd diagnosed myself with macular degeneration as a symptom of diabetes, went on a keto/low carb diet and lost a significant amount of weight (we’ll get back to that). since insurance’s figured out, probably, and i got an A1C blood test back saying everything was normal it was hard to keep up with the diabetes idea, but i am bc my eyes are still fucked. so that first. i gotta take care of myself bc i’m not a ghost anymore. i am not in a liminal state of being. i am a person who affects the lives of others. i will die, but before that i need to live.
back to the weight thing though, i don’t think i realized how bad my image of myself was until i lost this weight. i think i really hated myself but decided instead of doing that actively i’d just not care about it. a coping mechanism, but it’s created a problem for me now that i’ve lost this weight i don’t want to gain it back. i’ve noticed this thought and have been working to combat it. i think i was affected in a different but similar way to kenna. i was not fat in high school but i became so in about 1-2 years afterwards. it went hand-in-hand with my depression so i think i’ve conflated the two. it also doesn’t help that i continue to get outside positive reinforcement about it. people will say “looking good” and i want to shoot them and then myself. because it’s nice to get compliments but DON’T COMMENT ON PEOPLE’S BODIES!!!!!! an aside, it’s 2023, i shouldn’t have to say that to people my age. so, i’ve been struggling with self-image quite a bit more than i can remember ever doing before.
growth? we shall see.
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misora-msby · 3 years
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embarrassing moments with inarizaki
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inarizaki always looks so cool but you know they’re actually dorks and i am here to provide you the content to show theyre clowns. enjoy the headcanons :)
Kita Shinsuke
firstly. kita shinsuke being embarrased? making a mistake? unheard of.
he’s a perfect man and we all know it.
anyways
you two were having a nice dinner out together. 
it was a pretty fancy place so you decided to dress in a different style today
but you were beginning to wonder if kita liked it or not because he seemed to keep looking past your shoulder instead of at you
he was an observant guy so you were wondering if something had happened behind you
but you couldn’t hear anything weird so you assumed not
you decided to just stay quiet about it at first but now it was beginning to become annoying! 
why wasn’t he looking you in the eye to speak?
midway through your dinner, kita finally spoke up tho
“y/n, your shirt is slipping... yer bra’s showing.”
oh.
right. you were wearing your off-shoulder top.
“o-oh. shin, it’s that kind of shirt, you know?” you had to explain your outfit to ur bf with a pink face.
“oh... that so... well it’s cold these days so if yer feelin’ cold lemme know. i’ll give ya my jacket.”
GOD HES SO PERFECT KITA SHINSUKE I HOPE U MARRY HIM???????
Ojiro Aran
another man with next to no flaws.
but nature says everyone has to make some mistake.
so it was a regular school day, our aran has just come to class from morning practice and there’s still some time left until class starts.
all the girls in class are gathered around a table
he’s not sure why, it’s probably watching an idol video
but ur man wants to be a little romantic!!
plus he just showered so he smells Great uwu
he goes over and hugs you from behind, placing his chin on ur head.
“hey, bb whatcha ya doin”
all the girls gasp.
he doesn’t get whats wrong, it’s not like it’s a secret y’all are dating
pda to this level aint bad either
especially compared to his teammate miya atsumu
“ojiro aran.”
why is your voice behind him
he looks down and nearly faints when he sees he hugged the wrong girl.
to be fair she looked a lot like you from behind, just maybe 1cm shorter.
“i’m so sorry!” he keeps apologising to literally everyone and all the class is giggling bc they never seen their school’s ace so red before.
“didn’t think i’d come back from the toilet and see my bf cheatin”
“IT WAS A MISTAKE! I’M SERIOUS! Y/N U KNOW I LOVE YA!” 
hes so funny i swear
the volleyball team hears of it and it gets even better 
Miya Atsumu
it’s not a secret that miya atsumu, setter of the inarizaki volleyball team and invited to national youth training camp, had a gf
he was very much in love with u 
the whole class knew it because he’d show it off whenever he could too
so here comes valentines day
last year he received like... 50 different gifts from girls and guys aiming to win his love.
you didnt even give him one lmAOOOOO 
but this year, he had been not so subtly trying to hint that “i better not receive any chocolates this year when i’ve got a gf!”
he reaches school and plops into his seat.
there’s an anonymous box of chocolates with “please accept my love, miya-kun! <3″ on it
“the hell’s this?!”
“oh? chocolates?” - osamu who just popped his head into the class to shove into his twin’s face how much chocolate he got.
especially since the blond was off limits, the grey-haired twin had a bigger following now.
“do they not know i have a girlfriend...”
“well, ya might as well eat it. ya dont know who to return it to.”
“that’s like receivin’ their love!”
“no it ain’t. it’s just food.”
atsumu couldn’t argue with that and popped a piece in.
it was very delicious. the chocolate practically melted on his tongue and was the perfect sweetness and was filled with a delicious ganache too.
it was perfect
but he couldn’t accept this!
“it ain’t even good. too sweet and the filling’s sticky.”
“ah. really? is that what you think, tsumu?” you ask from the door where you had been watching the exchange take place.
“y/n! look at this! some weirdo gave me some choco and like... samu said to test it but i’ll toss it out, promise.”
“tsumu, i made that... i wrote it anonymously because i thought you’d know it was me and i wanted to tease you a little.”
“huh.”
osamu: “yeah actually i went over to her place to teach her how to make it.”
atsumu: “you said you went to suna’s place?!”
osamu: “i went there later but i first went to help her.”
you: “anyways if it’s not good i don’t mind if you toss it out...”
tsumu: “NO NO BABE I PROMISE IT’S GOOD”
you: “you just said-”
“BABE I SWEAR IT’S GOOD I JUST DIDN’T WANT TO ACCEPT A STRANGER’S STUFF”
“you’re always so honest though... are you sure?” you were having your fun teasing him now.
“BB PLSSSSSS”
he still cringes at the memory 4 years into ur marriage
Miya Osamu
osamu would DEFINITELY make home made dinner dates a regular thing.
this alone shows he’s the better twin - miya atsumu stan
he loves cooking and eating with you so sometimes when he’s got a day off you guys’ll set aside the afternoon to make a real nice dinner
imagine candlelit dinner with miya dorito body osamu in a suit
of course some fun stuff happens after too ;)))
and today’s your third anniversary!!
so osamu adds lots of ‘natural aphrodisiacs’ to the meal
i’m talkin
garlic bread and soup for an appetiser, a nice juicy steak with garlic and red wine sauce for the main, and chocolate coated strawberries for dessert
mm yummy
you two cleaned your plates completely (it was very delicious) and as you were washing the dishes, osamu comes up behind and wraps his arms around your waist
“yes, ‘samu?” 
“i’ve already prepared us a nice bath with yer favourite scents.” he’s got his head resting on ur chin
“really? thank you~ i’ll be there in a bit”
but he doesn’t let go of you while you’re still scrubbing at the baking sheets.
“osamu, you can let go for now.”
“don’t feel like it.”
“i gotta wash the dishes since you did most of the cooking.”
“mmm, i’ll do it if ya gimme a kiss.”
you roll ur eyes bc what a cutie 
u turn ur head to give him a kiss but suddenly he 
he burps
that garlicy wine smell is just kinda there
“ew! ‘samu!!”
his face is real red but he’s also trying not to laugh because he’s still a dude and this is absolutely hilarious to him
“want another?” he starts teasing
“i’m not getting in the bath with you.”
“wait wait wait i’m sorry, i’ll go brush my teeth and give you a proper kiss”
Suna Rintarou
you two were taking the train home today
it was quite late due to practice going a little longer than usual, so he insisted he walked you back home today.
sunarin can be a good boyf sometimes ok
it was getting a little crowded on the train tho, since people were heading home or going out for dinner
luckily you had already grabbed seats so you were quite comfortable sitting side by side. 
you and suna have the type of relationship were you dont have to talk all the time
silence is v comfy.
he’s just scrolling through twitter on his phone while you’re looking around the car, lost in ur thoughts
suddenly you notice an old lady standing a little bit away from you and you stand up
“baa-san, please take my seat.” you whisper in the crowded carriage
“oh how kind of you. thank you, dearie.” she smiles and takes your seat while you stand in front of her and suna instead.
suna doesn’t realise this exchange has happened tho
(he’s on his phone as usual)
probably starting some fights on twitter
he decides to try to be a little romantic and pretends to stretch his arm around (who he thought was) you.
“rin.” 
why is your voice right in front of him?
“young man, i appreciate it but i’m married.”
suna jumps as he sees someone he did not recognise next to him.
he looks up and notices you had moved.
you’re giggling
the granny’s giggling
atsumu and osamu sitting opposite on the carriage look like they’re going to cry because they’re trying not to laugh
“i was just stretching. really.” he mumbles and crosses his arms, face red as a tomato
he’s so embarrassed.
Ginjima Hitoshi
sometimes the inarizaki vbc would go for an after practice snack at the nearby family mart
they were really hungry after an intense preparation for nationals which was in two weeks so kita insisted they all get something to fill them up on the way home
but lucky lucky ginjima hhehe
you (his classmate who he had a crush on) were working at the cash register today.
“welcome!” you greet everyone as they enter
he cant help but stiffen up a bit 
why are u so cute and cheery today
the 2nd years already know what to do.
“heyy, i think last week i bought ya that ramen right? ya owe me my konbini snacks today!” - atsumu
“yeah. you lost a bet to me last week so u gotta pay up. a pack of jelly fruit sticks please.” - suna
“forgot my money today, mind payin’ for my snacks too?” - osamu
“like hell i’m paying for all of you. especially you, osamu. you eat too much all the time.” 
aran’s noticed what’s going on,
“hey, if it’s just for today you can do it right? if ‘samu don’t pay ya back tomorrow i’ll nag him ‘til he does.” 
“fine...” his basket is full when he goes to the counter.
he’s trying his best not to have a red face while watching u scan the items, ur hair swaying slightly as u look back and forth between the objects and the screen.
“alright. 4,890 yen please!” GOD he hated how expensive it was, that’s almost all his weekly allowance but bc it’s u and ur voice saying it it’s kinda ok
“mm, ok.” he still has his eyes on you while he takes out his wallet and puts it on the counter.
yes
his wallet, not the money
“...” “...”
“excuse me, sir. this is...”
he almost slaps his face wtf he’s so embarrassed.
“s-sorry. just a little absent minded after practice.” he starts pulling out his cash.
“it’s fine! i know how hard you guys practice!” you smile while performing the rest of the transaction and pass him his big bag of goods. “good luck for nationals, ginjima-kun!”
he almost runs out of the store and is about to fight the rest of the 2nd years for watching and (suna) recording
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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Eunoia - Harry Styles
a/n: i’ve been meaning to write a piece filled with just fluffy, domestic moments through a relationship, and that’s when i created Flora in my mind. wrote it with an OC bc i had very specific traits and stuff in my mind about her and it didn’t feel right to write it with y/n but feel free to read however you’d like it! but i think Flora is a delightful girl, she is a teacher and a free spirit, i think you’ll like her!
pairing: Harry x OC (Floortje ‘Flora’ Hoven)
word count: 9.5k
masterlist
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Eunoia (n.) Beautiful thinking: a well mind.
Harry is always looking forward to times when his days aren’t filled from morning to midnight, traveling all around the world, meeting dozens of new people at various new meetings. Don’t get him wrong, he loves the buzz his life comes with, but one can drive this lifestyle only for a while before getting tired. He now appreciates his calm periods, when he is not living out of his suitcase, he has the time to drop by a café and enjoy his morning coffee sitting down instead of grabbing it in a go-to cup and chugging it down in his car. When he can just take a walk when the weather is nice enough and his favorite is when he has the time to just look at things without a rush and appreciate them.
He has built up a habit of going to the same coffee place since he got off tour and jumped right into his well-deserved months off filled with meditation, resting and focusing on himself after giving so much for the world. It’s just two corners down his place, falling perfectly into his way to the gym and now he even has a favorite table in the corner, because it gives him a great view of the place but the vines hanging from the ceiling masks his presence enough that people don’t often notice him there, providing some privacy for his morning coffee.
It was his third day here when he first noticed her. She was sitting at the table by the window, near the door, deep in a book, another pile waiting for her on the free seat next to her as she intensely made notes of her reading. She had her wild, curly hair in a puffy bun on the top of her head, clearly just thrown into it haphazardly when she started working. Her ivory frame glasses kept sliding down the bridge of her nose and thy seemed a bit too big for her face, but they overall fit perfectly with her knitted sweater and dungarees. And Harry couldn’t look over the fact that she had little sunflowers painted on her nails. That instantly made him smile as he adorned her from afar.
As the days passed and Harry spent almost all his morning at the same spot, he started seeing or more like noticing her more often. She always sat at the same table and Harry figured it was because of the natural lighting coming through the windows that came in handy, because she was always either reading and making notes, or doing something crafty, mostly origami, he noticed. She often had her laptop open with tutorials on different origami works that she was trying to make herself, not always succeeding, but she got it right most of the time, a triumphant smile plastering across her face every time she finished a piece, her dimples digging deep into her round cheeks. Harry couldn’t stop herself from smiling whenever she held up the finished work and adorned what she just created. He often wondered what happened to the little creations afterwards, but she just usually shoved them into her backpack before leaving.
By the fifth or sixth time he has seen her, he already knew her order. Vanilla latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. Large sized, of course, so she has something to sip on while she typed away on her laptop or finished reading another book.
Harry caught himself looking for her on mornings when he didn’t see her, which were usually Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, but one Wednesday, when he had an early meeting for a change with his team, he arrived before 8 am into the place and for his biggest surprise, there she was, sitting at her usual table, drinking the same drink as always. Later, Harry found himself coming earlier on those days just to find her there yet again and he figured her work schedule must start earlier on those days.
As the days went by Harry started to play with the thought of walking up to her. He wondered if she has noticed him as well, but it seemed like even if she did, his presence didn’t impress or bother her at all which just irked his curiosity about her even more. But every time he thought about finally talking to her, he decided against it, feeling like he would just be an intruder in her morning sessions. Until one day, the chance was handed to him on a silver plate.
She is doing origami once again on this particular day, making little cranes, one after the other, using different colored papers to make them form out a mess rainbow on her table. It’s a quiet morning, only a few more people sitting around at place. It’s been quite windy the past couple of days and today seems to be the worst, the trees are being tossed around by the howling winds outside, but it just makes it even cozier to sit inside in the warmth, enjoying a nice hot drink.
Harry finds himself watching her intently as her delicate fingers work on the paper, one crane following the other, she is starting to have a whole army of them.
An older man walks into the café and as he opens the door wide, the wind is quick to run into the place, knocking over everything that’s not heavy enough to stay still and the paper cranes are the first ones to start flying off the table.
“No! Darn it!” she gasps, her hands grabbing after them, saving just a few, but most end up on the floor, somersaulting away from her table. Harry is quick to jump to his feet and come to her rescue, lending her a pair of helping hands as she gathers her creations. “Oh, thank you!” she breathes out softly, her eyes meeting his and for his biggest surprise… she doesn’t seem to be stunned or even surprised by him, as if she doesn’t know who he is.
Maybe she doesn’t, it’s a possibility, he tells himself, smiling at her as he collects the cranes from the floor.
“Guess they wanted to be free,” he jokes, setting them on the table with the rest.
“It wasn’t my brightest idea to do it on such a windy day near the door,” she chuckles, looking over the bunch she’s been working on for the past thirty minutes.
“May I ask why you need so many paper cranes?” Harry inquires, leaving out the part that he’s been watching her do her origami for weeks now.
“Oh, I want to make decorations out of them, hang them up in my classroom. I’m a teacher,” she adds smiling.
That’s the most fitting job he could ever imagine for her, she is definitely the cool and adored teacher every kid is obsessed with.
“Wow, and how many do you need?” he asks, the stack of paper at the edge of the table looks quite a lot and he wonders if she wants to use them all for the cranes.
“Well, as many as I can make before my fingers fall off,” she jokes. Harry notices her freckles from up close that have been hidden behind her glasses until now. Her hair is in two space buns today and she is wearing a striped shirt with light-washed jeans and colorful sneakers. The sunflowers are gone from her nails, replaced by tiny daisies, but Harry likes them just as much as the previous flowers. They fit her well.
“Do you… I would love to help, if you want,” he finds himself offering, not even thinking about the question before it slips his mouth.
“You sure?” she asks, seemingly surprised but she definitely doesn’t find it weird that he just offered to help her.
“Yeah. Looks really calming and I haven’t made one in so long. Want to see if I still remember the steps,” he smiles.
“Take a seat then,” she nods, returning his smile. Harry goes back to his table to grab his stuff and join her.
“I’m Harry, by the way,” he introduces himself as he takes the empty chair at her table, holding out his hand for her that she gladly takes.
“Floortje, but everyone just calls me Flora,” she smiles.
“Never heard that name, what’s the origin of it?”
“It’s Dutch. My dad is Dutch, he came up with the name as well and my mother liked it. It means little flower, nothing grandiose,” she chuckles, reaching for another paper to start her next crane.
“Do you have a Dutch last name as well?” he asks, but then realizes she might not feel comfortable sharing her full name just yet. “You don’t have to tell me your last name though, if you don’t want to.”
“It’s alright,” she chuckles. “It’s Hoven, which is Dutch, but you pronounce it pretty much the same as you’d if it was a simple English word, just with a softer V in the middle,” she explains, her fingers working easily and fast on the thin paper, the crane is already starting to form. Harry reaches for a paper himself and tries to recollect his memory of the steps.
“Were you born in the Netherlands too?”
“Yes, I was born in Eindhoven, but we moved here when I was five. But my Dutch is still just fine, luckily. My dad refused to talk to me in English when we moved, he said he won’t have his daughter forget her mother tongue just because he is getting paid more here,” she explains with a soft chuckle as she finishes up the crane, putting it to the pile.
“I always envied bilingual people. Must be great to speak two languages that easily,” Harry wonders, eyes fixed on the paper as he is trying his best with the crane. It’s slowly coming together, though it’s not as pretty as Flora’s.
“It’s not that fun when I suddenly forget a word in one of the languages and then spend twenty minutes trying to remember when I know for a fact I know the words, it’s just stuck on my tongue.”
Harry laughs, finishing up his creation, holding it up and Flora looks at it as well. It’s a little crooked and one of its wings is longer than the other, but overall, it’s a decent first one.
“You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to,” he chuckles, putting it to the others.
“What are you talking about? It looks great!” she smiles, taking it into her hand, looking at it from all angles, smiling widely as she places it back to its peers. “It’s a nice one, and after all, it’s not your job to make cranes, so you’re fine,” she jokes.
Harry reaches for another paper as he thinks about if she knows him. Does she know what his job really is? Not that he expects everyone to know him, but she seems his age and it’s been quite impossible for him to meet someone close in age to him and not know a thing about him.
“Yeah, origami is definitely not my job,” he hums and then adds: “You… know what my job is?”
Flora glances up at him, a small smile tugging on her lips.
“Is this your way of trying to find out if I know you or not?” she smirks, tilting her head to the side, and it’s already a giveaway that she is very much aware of who she is sitting at a table with.
“I know, it was lame,” he huffs awkwardly.
“No, it was alright. And to answer your question, I do know what your job is, Harry Styles,” she replies.
“Sorry for asking around about it, you just seemed so casual and unbothered when you saw me, I thought you have no idea who I am.”
“I’m a teacher, my job is to treat everyone the same, I take equality very seriously. I don’t want my kids to think I put any of them above the rest, but I do the same outside of school too. Or do you want me to gasp and stutter now that you are sitting here?” she teases him making him laugh.
“That’s not needed at all.”
They work on their cranes in a comfortable silence and just as Harry thought, it’s quite relaxing, his thoughts slowly clear out, only focusing on the little birds he is creating. Then he glances up at Flora and suddenly his thoughts are filled with her once again. Now is his chance with her, he doesn’t want to leave this café without at least asking for her number even when he knows that he will surely see her around, just like always.
“Can I ask you something?” he speaks up as they both keep folding the colorful papers.
“Of course.”
“I hope I won’t sound creepy or something, but I’ve seen you around a lot and noticed how much you read. Is that just your hobby or…?”
“First of all it’s not creepy that you have noticed me, it’s flattering, because I have noticed you as well,” she smiles, paying him a quick glance.
“Really? I had a feeling you haven’t even seen me.”
“I did, but I thought you come here for the same reason as I do; to have some peace for yourself.”
“Ah, I see,” Harry nods.
“But to answer your question, I’m working on my second degree.”
“Oh, what’s that about?”
“Special education, speech therapy to be exact,” she tells him and Harry is even more stunned by her. Education is already a field not many can handle and then there is Flora, who didn’t just take up on it, she jumped right into it, pursuing a second degree in special education, a hard and challenging part of this job.
“Any particular reason why you chose it?”
“I have a younger brother, he is ten years younger than me, so he was already born here, but he was taught Dutch too. However, it wasn’t as easy for him as it was for me to speak two languages at the same time and he has developed some speech errors. Nothing major, but it was enough for him to be bullied in school. I saw his face every day when he came home and lied to our parents that everything is fine but then he cried to me in my room when they weren’t around. I don’t want any other kids to go through that, I’d love to be the one to not just help them come over their speech errors but also make sure they are treated the same way as everyone else.”
Harry hasn’t even noticed that he stopped working on his crane, he is now staring at her in awe, completely stunned by her. The more he learns about her the more he thinks she is a literal angel sent from above and that he can’t let her slip from his hands.
Flora looks up at him and finds him staring, a blush appearing on her full cheeks.
“Sorry for staring, but I just… this is so beautiful. Your passion about education is just one of a kind, truly. And the way how you made it your whole career and everything, I’m just… blown away,” he admits.
“Well, you made a career out of your passion too, didn’t you?” she chuckles softly.
“I did, but your story is just a little more touching,” he smirks. “Flora, I’m gonna be honest with you. I’ve been meaning to come up to you for a while and now that we officially met, I just—I would love to take you out on a date and get to know you better.”
She blushes again and Harry notes how well the pinky shade fits her even if she probably wishes she could control it more.
“That would be lovely,” she smiles shyly and grabbing a crane from her pile she grabs a pen from her bag and writes her number to the wing of it before handing it over to Harry.
He loves that she could have easily just typed it into his phone, yet she chose to do it this way. He smiles down at the crane and puts it into his bag, securing it as if it was his biggest treasure.
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When Flora opens her door for Harry she is still wearing her apron that’s filled with tulips, a pair of simple jeans underneath it with a bright yellow shirt. Harry smiles as he leans down and greets her with a soft kiss. Ever since their first kiss he has been obsessed with stealing one whenever he has the chance. Their first one was nothing grandiose, such a simple and mundane moment but for him, it was perfect. They were visiting a gallery, he chose the exhibition hoping she’ll be a fan of it since the theme was botany, all paintings connected to flowers, gardens and plants and he was right. Flora was stunned, fascinated by each painting as they stopped at one after the other, taking their time to adore the works. They were looking at a painted garden filled with colorful wildflowers around a small cottage in the distance. Flora’s eyes wandered over all the tiny details as Harry stood close to her. She then leaned closer to point out her favorite flower and once they realized just how close their faces were, he just easily closed the gap and kissed her softly, surrounded with art, but he was convinced she was his favorite masterpiece he has ever seen.
“Hi, sorry, I’m a little late, dinner is not ready yet,” she huffs letting him inside. “Had to stay at the school a little longer than expected.”
“Don’t worry. Can I help with anything?” he asks following her into the kitchen, putting the bottle of wine he brought into the fridge to keep it cool until dinner.
“No, it’s fine. I just need about fifteen minutes to finish up the veggies,” she smiles at him and tiptoeing she steals a quick kiss. Harry hasn’t been the only one obsessed with kisses. “Make yourself home.”
Harry leaves to use the bathroom quickly and on his way back he finds himself wandering into her bedroom. He has been in her home just a few times before, only spending short minutes here when he was picking her up but now he has time to actually look around, hoping she won’t mind him snooping around.
Her whole place is just as colorful as she is always, each piece of furniture a different style and color, yet fitting so well when you see it as a whole. The quilted patchwork blanket over her bed is definitely homemade, each patch has a different flower on it while the left lower corner has Floortje embroidered into it. Harry wonders if it was made by a friend or family member, either way, it’s surely a special piece.
Her dresser is cluttered with rings, perfumes and endless amount of hair ties. She has complained before that her hair stretches her elastics out so fast, she keeps buying new ones every month. The little armchair in the corner is covered with a few of her used clothes, ones she’ll wear once more before putting them into the laundry basket.
As he walks over to her nightstand that’s filled with books, at least seven piled on each other, his eyes stop over something that makes his heart flutter.
A crooked little paper crane is sitting on the edge of the nightstand, the one he made the first time they talked, to be exact. Harry takes the bird and looks at it in awe, surprised that she kept it to herself. However he doesn’t find it odd, not even a little bit, since he has also kept the one she wrote her phone number onto, it’s sitting on his desk in his study.
“Found something interesting?” Flora walks in and Harry’s head whips towards her, feeling like he was just caught. But the warm smile on her lips is a telltale sign that she doesn’t mind him looking around.
“You kept it,” he states matter-of-factly, holding up the paper bird.
“Of course I did,” she nods, walking closer. “It’s a special one.”
“Thought you treat everyone and everything the same,” he teases smiling as he puts the crane back, his hands finding her waist.
“I guess there are a few exceptions,” she smirks slyly, her hands running up on his arms until they reach the base of his neck.
“Am I an exception?” The corners of his mouth curl up as he places the bird back on her nightstand and circle his arms around her waist.
“Did I say that?” she teases him. “I think I called your work a special one.”
Harry narrows his eyes at her, pretending to be hurt at her words, but he can’t push the growing smile back from his lips. They’ve been seeing each other for only over a month, but it was enough time to make him completely hooked on her. He is amazed by her in every possible way, feeling like he could never get enough of the ray of sunshine that Flora is. His favorite thing is that she makes him feel so normal, just an average guy dating a girl he met at a café. Not once did she treat him any different because of what he is and it’s just the feeling Harry has been looking for for such a long time.
“Come on, dinner is ready,” she smiles, pecking his lips before peeling his arms off of her frame, taking his hand as she pulls him out of the bedroom, however they surely end up in there again sometime after dinner, but with way less clothes on.
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Harry watches as Flora plays with the bubbles in front of her, picking some foam up into her hair, watching it move around on her wet palm before blowing on it gently, her delicate fingers poking at the small bubbles that escaped from it. His hands are caressing her sides under the warm water that was once hot when they first got into it about an hour ago.
It’s been a lazy Sunday, Flora arrived early in the morning and went plant shopping. Her home has always been filled with plants and Harry has grown a liking to all the greenery, wanted some more in his house as well and Flora was more than happy to help him pick out the ones that are the easiest to take care of. Then they cooked lunch together, watched a movie and cleaned up the mess they made in the kitchen before running the bath. Harry has been loving these domestic days, lounging around his or her home, wearing comfy clothes and not caring about much of the outside words, just enjoying each other’s company.
“Remind me to buy peanut butter the next time I’m going grocery shopping,” she speaks up, leaning further back against his chest while Harry rests his chin on her shoulder, his arms tightening around her waist under the layer of bubbles.
“What do you need it for?” he hums, nudging her hair with his nose, her curls ticking his face, but he doesn’t mint it.
“I want to make cupcakes for the kids next week.”
“What for? Is there gonna be a special occasion?”
“No, they’ve just been super nice lately, we set up some new rules in the classroom and they’ve been really good following them.” Harry hums, loving how she is so eager to treat her students, he is convinced she is easily the best teacher he has ever came across.
“So peanut butter, huh? I think I need some too. Been dying to eat a good burger with some peanut butter.”
“I cannot believe you put peanut butter into your burgers,” she chuckles, peeking at him over her shoulder.
“Don’t bash it when you haven’t even tried!” he defends himself, kissing her cheek softly.
“The Aztecs would be so disappointed,” she sighs turning back forward, so she doesn’t see the puzzled look on Harry’s face.
“The Aztecs?”
“Yeah, they technically invented peanut butter,” she nods, as if it was common knowledge.
“Do I want to know why you know this about the history of peanut butter?” he chuckles softly.
“Well I had this kid last year who was obsessed with it and I started looking up fun facts for him for mornings when he looked a little moody. Then the others started enjoying it too so it became our morning thing that I told them a fun fact about anything.”
“Oh really? Tell me one then!” he asks smirking, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.
“Okay, um…” she thinks to herself. “Do you know what the Olympic rings stand for?”
“I do not,” he shakes his head.
“The five rings stand for the five inhabited continents of the world, united by Olympism.”
“Sounds logical,” Harry nods. “Tell me another one,” he asks.
“Are you going to make me tell you all my fun facts?” she chuckles, turning a little so she can look into his beautiful green eyes.
“Maybe. I like it when you talk like this,” he smirks playfully.
“Like what?”
“Like… smart. I love how you know all these little things about the world and teach it to not just the kids but to me as well.”
“You don’t think I’m a smartass?”
“Why would I?” he questions, eyebrows furrowed.
“I used to be picked on in middle school because I liked to learn, more than what was required.”
“That doesn’t make you a smartass, baby. You don’t go around, correcting every tiny mistake around you. You use your knowledge to educate, like you should.”
Flora smiles softly at him, his words bringing the sense of reassurance she’s been seeking for so long. She pecks his lips shortly before turning back forward.
“Do you know how many days a billion seconds make up?” she asks, smiling to herself.
“I don’t.”
“11 574 days. That’s a little over 31 years.”
“So I haven’t lived a billion seconds in my life just yet,” Harry states, doing the quick math.
“No, you haven’t,” she smiles, mostly at the fact that he didn’t just listen to her little fun fact, but also thought about it a bit deeper.
They stay in the bath until the water gets cold and Harry keeps asking for fun facts and Flora gladly tells him whatever comes to her mind.
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Harry finishes up the fresh salad, filled with Flora’s favorites: cherry tomatoes, feta cheese and corn with some kale, baby spinach and garlic dressing. He even sprinkled some sesame seeds on top, now he is pretty proud of his work, it looks like something influencers would snap in an aesthetic photo to their Instagram feed.
His bare feet tap against the hardwood floor as he makes his way to Flora’s bedroom where she is still curled up on her chair in front of her computer, her hair in a mess on top of her head, glasses perched up on the bridge of her nose. She hasn’t moved much from the spot in hours, intensely working on her thesis that should be finalized within the next two weeks. She has been gradually working on it over the last few months, in no mean she is behind, but she’s been extra nervous about making it as good as she wanted it when she started and Harry has been nothing but supporting about it, knowing how much it means to her. So he’s been her moral support, making sure she eats, gets some rest and doesn’t get herself too worked up about her research. She appreciates his efforts and though she often feels bad for neglecting him lately, he made sure to assure her, he’ll be right here when she is finally done with it.
Harry walks around the mountain of books on the floor she has piled up from the library these past two weeks as he walks up behind her while her fingers type away on her computer so fast he can barely believe she even understands what she’s typing.
“Hey,” he softly calls out, leaning down he kisses her cheek, holding the bowl of salad in front of her, drabbing her attention, making her gaze move from the screen to the food in front of her.
“Oh, hey! Is this for me?” she asks with a soft smile, lifting her head so she can look at him. Even with the circles under her eyes, the messy hair and worn out t-shirt that she’s wearing, he thinks she is the most wonderful creature he has ever seen.
“Yeah. Come take a break, yea?”
She doesn’t protest, just saves the file before moving away from the desk to the bed along with Harry. She props herself up against the headboard, a tired moan escaping her lips as her spine rests against the pillows under her back. Harry hands her the salad and she digs right into it, only just now realizing that she’s been feeling hungry for the past two hours, but ignored it entirely.
“How much do you have left?” Harry asks nodding towards the computer.
“I’m finishing up the last part, then I just have to write the abstract and then…” she explains, popping a tomato in her mouth. “It’s just gonna be the formatting. I think I’ll be done by Wednesday.”
“That’s great,” he smiles proudly. He has always admired how hardworking she’s been when it came to school and her profession. He could never imagine himself do the same, especially because he didn’t even finish high school. He used to feel a little self-conscious about it when they first started dating, afraid that she might think less of him because he didn’t finish his education properly, even though it was never something that bothered him. But Flora assured him that it makes absolutely no difference in her opinion about him.
“It’s not about the papers or how many schools you’ve finished. It’s about how you see the world and if you are willing to learn when it changes around you. And I think you are perfect in that department, your curiosity and openness makes you an excellent learner,” she told him without even thinking about it.
Harry lies on his side next to her, one hand propping his head up while the other one wanders to her thigh, massaging it gently. She hums to herself, enjoying the food he made and he can’t help the smile that creeps on his face. He loves taking care of her, especially because most of the times it’s her that takes care of him. Cooking for him after a long day at the studio, putting his laundry away while he is in an online meeting or writing him a list for when he goes grocery shopping, Flora has been watching out for him through these little things, but now it’s finally his turn to give it all back.
He’s been thinking about asking her to move in with him for a few weeks now, he just hasn’t been brave enough to bring it up, thinking that she might find it too early for such a big step, seeing that the two of them have been dating for a little over nine months. He’s been playing with the thought of coming home to her every single day, waking up next to her in the mornings, watch her form his home more to her liking, creating a space for the both of them, making it a home not just for him but her as well.
As she finishes up her salad, completely oblivious to what Harry is thinking about, he decides to bring it up once she is done with her thesis, not wanting to bother her in any possible way until she is finished.
“Mm, this was lifesaving, thank you,” she sighs, leaning over she kisses him softly as her appreciation for the sweet gesture. “I’ll finish up this one paragraph I’m in the middle of and then we could watch a movie. But strictly without subs, because I’m done with words for today,” she jokes, making him laugh as he takes the empty bowl from her hands.
“Sounds good,” he nods. “I’ll clean up in the kitchen and find something to watch while you finish.”
“Thank you.” As they both get up from the bed, she pulls him down for another kiss, Harry’s free hand finding the small of her back right away. “I love you,” she whispers against his lips, his heart fluttering in his chest at the words he has heard before, but it never fails to stun him.
“I love you too. Now go, finish it so we can cuddle,” he smiles, smacking her bum gently before they let go of each other.
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“Ja, pappa. Dat klinkt fantastisch. Ik zal het hem vragen. Ja.” Yes, dad. That sounds fantastic. I’ll ask him. Yes.
Harry listens to Flora talk to her father on the phone as she applies her lip balm, the one she uses every night before going to bed. He loves it when she talks in Dutch, many tend to criticize the language, but not Harry. Or maybe it’s just because he only hears Flora talk it and he loves everything she does.
“Ja, dat is goed. Dank je. Tot ziens, pappa, ik hou van je!” Yes, that’s great. Thank you. See you soon, dad, love you!
She ends the call and switches the light off in the bathroom that’s been not just Harry’s but hers since she officially moved in with him just last week. Harry finally built up the courage to ask her opinion about the possibility of living together in the near future once she was free from the worries of her research and thesis. For his biggest surprise, she was on the exact same page as him, definitely a fan of the idea. So three weeks later they started slowly moving all her stuff over to his until her apartment completely emptied out. Now all her belongings are splattered across Harry’s home, they haven’t found the perfect place for everything just yet, but it’s slowly starting to feel like home for the both of them.
“Dad called, asked if we would go over for dinner this weekend,” she tells him, moving around the bedroom as she takes her little hoop earrings off, placing them in the shell she uses as a jewelry holder on top of the dresser. She is wearing a pair of yellow sweatpants with one of Harry’s shirts, nothing underneath them, just how Harry loves it.
“It’s cute how you always tell me it was your dad, but he is the only one you speak Dutch with,” he chuckles lowly as she climbs to bed, pulling the covers over the both of them.
“It comes so naturally, I don’t even realize I’m switching languages,” she admits smiling.
“Dinner sounds lovely,” he nods, getting back to what she was talking about before.
“Arnold is bringing his girlfriend too,” she smirks, her eyes sparkling from excitement.
“Your brother has a girlfriend now?” he hums, eyebrows rising at the new information.
“It’s the girl I saw him with at his basketball game last month. They made it official like two weeks ago.”
“And he is already bringing her home? He is not beating around the bush,” he chuckles. “Is it going to be the first time the girl meets your parents?”
“Yeah, so it’s gonna be exciting,” she nods, cuddling to his side.
Flora is playing with the little cross pendant on Harry’s chest and he is watching her delicate fingers flipping it over, her fingertips tickling his chest a little in the process.
“When we have kids, will you also teach them Dutch?” he suddenly questions, the words just blurting out of his mouth. Flora lifts her head, resting her chin on his chest as she looks into his curious eyes. She stays silent, but a small smile is tugging on her lips for sure.
“What?” he asks, feeling a little nervous. It’s the first time he is bringing having kids up, but he definitely has been thinking about it, especially since she has moved in. They haven’t been dating for that long, but Harry is one hundred percent sure he is in the long run with her.
“I just… love how you said when and not if.”
“Well, it’s a question of when for me. What about you?”
“Same goes for me,” she smiles warmly. “And yes, I do want my children to speak Dutch. It’s important to my family and me as well. How does that sit with you?”
“Totally fine. In fact, I always envied kids growing up who were taught another language so early in their childhood. Would love that for my kids as well.”
“Dan is het geregeld,” she smiles widely at him.
“What’s that mean?” He furrows his eyebrows.
“I said that, then it’s settled. We’ll have some cute, bilingual babies,” she chuckles, half jokingly, half seriously.
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Today has just been one of those days that were doomed from the moment Harry opened his eyes. He has been overwhelmed with stress lately, working on new music, but his studio sessions haven’t been as successful as he wanted them. He is also flying out to LA for two weeks in just a couple of days and he has to miss Flora’s mom’s birthday this weekend, which has been torturing him with guilt ever since he found out he can’t push his trip back.
This morning it felt like the universe just plotted against him. He slipped in the shower, broke a glass in the kitchen and successfully ripped one of his favorite jeans when he was getting dressed. He had a one way ticket cranky city, turning Harry into a moody little child. It didn’t take him long until he started a fight with Flora over the smallest, most ridiculous thing. It started with how Flora misplaced a bowl in the cabinet and took him two moments longer to find it than usual, then they ended up disputing about every little thing about each other they’ve been finding annoying, but neither of them voiced their feelings about them.
Flora, on the other hand, was not in the mood to argue with Harry so early on a Tuesday morning and she chose to just walk away and let him stew in his own anger. Harry knew the moment he heard the front door shut that she was mad at him: she didn’t kiss him goodbye like she does every day before she leaves.
He took a cold shower to cool him down and clear his head, get his thoughts straight so he can apologize like she deserves. Getting into his car he drives to the florist he usually goes to when he needs flowers for whatever occasions. The old lady greets him with a warm smile and upon describing what he envisioned, she immediately knows what to create for him this time. The result is a giant, colorful bouquet that reminds him of Flora in every possible means.
Driving down to her school he is met with an extreme amount of nostalgia even though it’s not even the school he went to as a kid, but it still brings back some memories.
The security guard immediately stops him when he walks into the building, but once he has explained him the situation, the old guy gladly tells him which classroom is hers so he can go and surprise her. His footsteps echo in the empty hallways as it is the middle of the second period, all students are locked up in their classrooms, lucky for Harry, because he surely can’t deal with teenage girls recognizing him right now. Holding the flowers in one hand he stops when he finds room 414 and he can hear Flora’s voice coming from inside, enthusiastically explaining something about penguins and it makes Harry smile.
Even with such a horrible morning behind her, she is still giving one hundred for her students. He brings up his hand and softly knocks on the door, interrupting her speech.
“Come in!” she calls out and Harry opens the door, popping his head inside first, then holding up the bouquet of flowers, making the kids start chattering in excitement at his arrival while Flora is staring at him shocked.
“Miss Hoven, do you have a moment for me, please?” he asks with a shy but charming smile. She quickly gains back control over her features before turning to her class.
“Please start working on task two and five, I’ll be right back,” she orders, but the chatter doesn’t die down so she raises her voice at them. “This is not how we act when we have guests, guys!”
The kids are quick to quiet themselves, eyes curiously switching between their teacher and the intruder at the door.
“Miss Hoven, is this your husband?” one of the kids, a little blond boy asks.
“No, Michael, he is not. Harry is my boyfriend,” she answers calmly, heading towards the door.
“Wait, I know him!” a girl exclaims gasping. “He sings the watermelon song!”
“Lilian, no discussion now. Do the tasks!” Flora tells her before walking out, but keeping the door open so she can hear what’s happening inside. Her cheeks are flushed and eyes wide when she finally looks at Harry again. “What’s—What’s this?”
“These are for you,” he clears his throat, handing her the bouquet. “And I came here to apologize for being such an arsehole this morning. It wasn’t your fault, I’ve just been crankier lately and I took it all out on you. I’m very sorry.”
Flora’s eyes soften on him as she takes one of his hands with her free one, giving it a squeeze.
“I said some nasty stuff too, so I guess I’m sorry too,” she sighs, her anger and frustration from earlier now long gone.
“I brought that out of you, so I’ll take the blame,” Harry chuckles softly. “But the point is that I’m sorry.”
“Well, you are forgiven. You were even before you came here,” she assures him smiling warmly. “Why don’t we order something tonight and just get lazy on the couch?”
“You said you have some tests to go through.”
“That can wait. You’re leaving in two days so I want to spend time with you.”
“So we won’t get our tests back tomorrow?” they both hear a muffled voice coming from inside and Flora chuckles shaking her head as she opens the door wider and steps inside. A small group of kids run back to their seats, but not fast enough to not get caught.
“Lilian, would you mind telling me why you left your seat without permission?” Flora questions the girl who just rolls her lips into her mouth, pretending like she hasn’t even moved all along. Flora sighs stepping outside once again. “I gotta go now, but thank you for this. They look beautiful,” she tells Harry.
“I love you,” he murmurs and leaning down he kisses her quickly, feeling like he is breaking rules even though he is not a student or a teacher here.
“I love you too,” she smiles back before walking back inside and shutting the door. Harry stays for a minute, just out of curiosity to hear if the kids ask her some more questions about him.
“Miss Hoven?” a girl calls out and Harry bets it’s the same nosy girl who recognized him.
“Yes, Lilian?”
“You have a nice boyfriend,” she exclaims, earning a soft chuckle from Flora.
“Well thank you, Lilian, but let’s get back to our new unit. Let’s see the tasks you had to solve!”
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The splashing sound of vomit arriving to the toilet hits Harry’s ears once again as he is rushing up the stairs with a glass of water and the Emetrol his hands that he dug the kitchen cabinets through for. Arriving to the master bathroom he finds Flora just where he left a few minutes ago, kneeling in front of the toilet, arms on the rim as she is taking a deep breath, hoping to calm her stomach and stop throwing up finally.
“Oh baby, here. Found you some Emetrol, this should help,” he coos gently, sitting down to the marble floor next to her he places the water beside him as he pours some of the liquid medicine into the cap for her. She lifts her head, skin pale as the wall, the dark circles under her eyes make his stomach churn, he hates to see her in this condition and wishes he could just help her.
“Thank you,” she mumbles, her shaking hand takes the cup and she downs the medicine before taking a few sips from the water. “Harry, I’m so sorry for ruining our date,” she sighs in defeat.
“Oh shush. Don’t you dare apologize for being sick,” he shakes his head, putting the Emetrol aside before he towers above her to redo her hair so it doesn’t fall to her face. Today marks their one year anniversary and though they only planned to go out for a nice dinner, nothing extra, Flora still feels bad they had to cancel on their reservation when she started throwing up this afternoon. She’s been feeling nauseous ever since she ate that leftover casserole for lunch. She had a feeling she should have just gotten rid of it, but she hated wasting food so ate it. Big mistake.
Harry’s fingers delicately work on her curls, piling them on the top of her heat before he secures the bun with professional movements using the elastic he tends to wear on his wrists, just because Flora always loses hers. He likes to keep one on him as well. His long haired days trained him well, her hair is neatly kept out of her face as she frowns, feeling her stomach churning again.
“Can I do anything else for you, baby?” he gently asks, pressing the back of his hand to her forehead to make sure she doesn’t have a fever, but she feels alright. She probably just has to get rid of the bad food.
“Can you please get me a wet washcloth?” she asks faintly. Sitting to her butt she leans against the wall beside her with her eyes closed.
Harry nods and he is on his feet in a blink of an eye, grabbing a washcloth from the cabinet and wetting it in some cool water. He kneels in front of her and starts gently tapping it against her cheeks, forehead and neck, wiping off the thin layer of sweat.
“This is not how I planned to spend our anniversary,” she groans with a frown, making him chuckle.
“We agreed, the anniversary is postponed. Don’t even think about it.”
“But I wanted to look nice for you, even bought a new dress.” She pouts her lips at him, eyes opening narrowly, glistening from the tears that watered them while she was throwing up.
“You always look nice, baby,” he softly tells her, letting her take the washcloth before she places it over her forehead.
“Even now? After you saw me throw up four times? We have very different versions for the word nice, H,” she jokes with a soft chuckle and Harry is thankful to see her smile, even if it’s still very faint and tired.
“Even now, baby,” he nods smirking and he is not lying. Though the situation is saddening, Harry still enjoys taking care of her, being the one she can rely on even on her worst days.
They sit on the bathroom floor as the medicine slowly works and she finally gets rid of the urge to throw up. Then Harry scoops her up and undressing the both of them, he helps her take a nice shower before dressing her in clean clothes, tossing their dirty ones into the laundry basket, noting to do them sometime in the morning.
When Flora is settled under the cover, head comfortably sinking into the pillow, she immediately feels her eyes closing, the strenuous afternoon has successfully sucked all her energy right out of her body. Harry brings her another big glass of water for the night and just to be sure, puts a trashcan next to her side, if things go south again. When he gets under the covers she is already half asleep, but she hums when his fingertips dance down the side of her face.
He allows himself to shamelessly admire her as she finally falls completely asleep, her lips parted as she slightly snores, but she looks so peaceful, the painful frown he saw on her face all afternoon is now gone from her beautiful face. He hasn’t fully wrapped his mind around how an entire year has passed with such a wonderful creature by his side. As their anniversary was coming up, he caught himself thinking about what the future is holding for them more often. There were so many things they needed to experience together, so much to see and do as partners and Harry couldn’t wait for it all to come.
As he lies in the bed next to her, a smile tugs on his pink lips at the thought of the possibility of spending the rest of his life with Flora. His future has never seemed brighter than in that moment.
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“This is harder than I thought,” Flora admits, focusing on the instrument on her lap, trying to figure out if she is holding down the accords the right way, but a moment later Harry’s hand covers hers on the neck of the guitar and he fixes her fingers on the strings until they are in the right position.
“Like this. Try it now,” he murmurs, his chin resting on her shoulders as she is standing between his legs, back leant against his chest. Flora has been begging him to teach him a few accords on the guitar and today finally brought the moment Harry would turn into her master.
The two of them are sitting on the bed, Harry only in his underwear while Flora is in one of his hoodies with only her panties covering the lower parts of her body. Harry came back from a week-long trip to New York and they haven’t left the bed too much since he set his feet inside the house, only emerging from the bedroom to fulfill their other physical needs.
Flora’s fingers strum against the strings and the instrument comes to life, giving her a clear accord finally, bringing a triumphant smile to her lips.
“You are a natural talent, baby,” he smirks, giving her hips a gentle squeeze before kissing into her neck.
“Don’t tease me, I’m trying!” she warns her playfully, playing the chord again, loving how she can create such a beautiful sound with the instrument.
“Mm, you’re coming for my career?”
“Oh, surely. I think I would make an excellent rockstar,” she nods confidently, making him laugh.
“You are so not the rockstar type. More like the chill indie singer who dances barefoot on stage.”
“Yeah, but I could spice it up a little and make it rockstar-y,” she explains and glances back at him over her shoulder. “Don’t you think I would look hot in one of your stage costumes? Sparkly suit and all?”
“Oh I know you’d look amazing,” he nods eagerly. He has spent quite some time imagining her girl in one of his suits and he quite liked the thought. Flora chuckles as he puts the guitar aside before she turns around and straddles him, her knees on each of his sides.
“Yeah? I would need a better name, mine is not too fitting for a star,” she explains. “Easy for you, your name is basically the most perfect name for a rockstar.”
“You think so?” he cocks an eyebrow at her, his palms coming to cup her bum as he tilts his head backwards since this position makes her the taller one for a change.
“Harry Styles? Oh please, it’s like Anne knew she would give birth to a legend,” she scoffs making him laugh.
“I’ve been told it’s a nice one,” he shrugs smugly. “I think it’s the surname.”
“It’s pretty cool, yeah.”
“What if you had the same? Flora Styles? Sounds pretty badass,” he suggests and at first, she doesn’t even realize the hidden meaning behind his words, tasting the name so obliviously.
“Flora Styles? You might be right, the surname sounds very cool,” she agrees and it amazes him how easily it went over her head.
“You like it?”
“Mhm,” she nods, her hand reaching for the guitar once again, but Harry stops her, taking it between his as he blindly finds her ring finger that is now ringless.
“Do you like it enough to actually take it?” he questions, hoping she would get the hint now where this is heading. She blinks at him a little puzzled but it’s until she realizes that his fingers are fidgeting with her ring finger, more specifically where a ring would sit on it, his fingertips gently caressing the skin around it.
“Harry?” she gasps with wide eyes as she just watches his grin grow wider. “This is not… Are you--?”
“What?” he chuckles, feeling entertained how she lost all her smug confidence all of a sudden. “What’s it that you’re trying to say?”
“No, what is it that you are trying to say?!” she snaps back, still in shock about what he just implied. “Was this your sneaky way of… proposing?” she asks, whispering the last word as if it was a curse word.
“Why do you act like we have a forbidden love and marriage cannot be even mentioned?” he chuckles at her.
“Because I was shocked! Not that bad now though, you haven’t pulled out a ring so I guess it was just a cruel joke.” She narrows her eyes at him, kissing his smug grin shortly, but Harry is definitely not done with her just yet.
“I wouldn’t be that sure about it, baby,” he warns her before gently pushing her off her lap to get off the bed. Flora’s eyes widen as she follows him walk to his suitcase that’s still lying on the floor next to his dresser, waiting to be unpacked. He digs under his clothes before pulling out a small velvety box, making her gasp immediately. Harry gets back on bed as he holds out the box in front of her on his palm, not opening it just yet.
“Did you buy that in New York just this week?” she asks with her mouth hung open.
“I didn’t. I’ve had it for about a month, I just took it with myself because I was afraid you’d find it,” he chuckles as he plays around with it between his fingers. “Have been planning on it for a while, but I couldn’t come up with anything so then I just decided to wait for the right moment and go with the flow,” he explains.
“And this is the right moment?” she questions, her heart beating in her throat as her gaze is switching between Harry’s green eyes and the box in his hand.
“Felt like it, yeah,” he nods, the corners of his mouth curling up.
Silence settles between them as they both just wrap their heads around the weight of the moment. Harry’s heart flutters in his chest, a little afraid it’s too early. They’ve been dating a little over two years now, marriages have been tied way earlier in a relationship before, but Harry feared Flora would feel it too rushed just yet, however the question is out there now. Or is it?
“Well, are you gonna ask it?” she questions and as Harry’s eyes flicker up to meet her gaze, he is met with that playful challenge in them that he adores so much.
“I just asked,” he mutters.
“No, you asked if I would take your name. That’s not a proposal,” she reminds him and he realizes she is right. He never actually asked the big question.
So he finally pops the lid open revealing the vintage diamond ring he bought a month ago when he was just out and about. The moment his eyes laid on the jewelry, he knew it’s the one he’d like to see on your finger and bought it right away.
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“Floortje Hoven, will you marry me?” he simply asks, his dimples digging deep into his cheeks as he smiles widely at his lover.
“I will,” she nods, her heart hammering in her chest as she watches him take the ring out of the box and carefully put it on her once empty ring finger. Still holding her hand, he brings it up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the ring before leaning in he connects his lips with hers.
-
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luvteez · 4 years
Text
bassists do it deeper
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pairing: yunho x genderneutral!reader genre + tags: smut, band au | kink discovery, exhibitionism, a brief segment of semi-public sex, hand kink, size kink, yunho monster cock bc this deserves a tag, power play, switch dynamics (i think??), dom!yunho pulls through in the end, unprotected sex wc: 6.3k
note: big thanks to my fav babie @lustjoong​ for motivating me to combine the two ideas i had for the prompt into one and motivating me to finish this!! here’s my take on the unspoken obligatory yunho size kink fic every ateez smut writer should have written once but make him a bassist. also, the band au to this pwp is literally just there as an excuse to make yeosang the lead singer of the band bc if kq won’t give yeosang lines, i will 
A lot can happen throughout a single weekend, as your English professor suddenly quitting her job, your brother Yeosang almost burning down the kitchen from deep frying an egg, an influx of voicemails in your inbox all sent from Wooyoung, as well as Yeosang’s punk rock band losing a member. It’s a lot to process when all you’ve done is stay the night at Yuqi’s, even harder so when Wooyoung keeps repeating every five seconds that Seonghwa quit the band. (”Why did it have to be Seonghwa who left Stereowave? He was the hottest one!”)
That being said, you expected to come home to a beyond grumpy Yeosang who was trying to find a replacement asap. A band without a bassist sounds empty, and while Stereowave has garnered a big enough fanbase over the years that wouldn’t mind the band continuing as a trio, it just feels wrong. Besides, branding a group consisting of Yeosang the frontman, San the guitarist, Mingi the drummer, and nobody covering the bassist position a band doesn’t sit right.
You were prepared for the worst; a messy kitchen, Yeosang walking around in clothes he wore for five days straight, possibly the outbreak of World War III depending on how shitty he’s feeling. But instead, you find the kitchen exceptionally clean and Yeosang acting as if nothing ever happened.
“Can you help set up the camera? The guys and I wanna film a new song.”
“Uh, sure,” you answer irritatedly. “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about finding a replacement for Seonghwa though?”
“Oh, we already have a new bassist,” he waves off casually, “What are you gaping at? Shut that jaw of yours before flies fly into your nasty mouth.”
“First of all, rude.” Yeosang rolls his eyes at that comment. For a split second, you’re contemplating letting him figure out on his own how to use the camera because he’s the walking embodiment of a technology illiterate, but your curiosity about the new band member is bigger. “But how did you manage to find a new replacement so fast? It’s been like, what, a day since Seonghwa left?”
Yeosang sighs. “He’s been thinking of quitting for weeks now, so I had enough time to look for a new bassist. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.”
And this is exactly why you should never get dicked down by your bandmate several times in a month, you think to yourself. Seonghwa and Yeosang thought they were slick, but everyone figured they were more than friends. Needless to say, it was only a matter of time until the strain of their relationship wreaked havoc within the band.
“So,” you say as you two walk to the makeshift studio in the basement, “Is the new guy good? What’s his name?”
The change of topic makes Yeosang relax visibly. There’s a sheepish smile on his face and he replies, “You’ll see.”
You arch a brow. For some reason, that doesn’t settle comfortably in your gut. Then there’s the fact that Yeosang is slightly skipping, and that makes you more concerned than relieved. Because Yeosang barely skips, only when he’s being petty and is planning on pranking somebody. (Most of the time, it’s San.)
The faint vibrations of drums and guitars ring in your ears before you step a foot into the basement. Mingi is the first to acknowledge your presence, immediately dampening the cymbals before waving at you. That causes the other two guys to stop playing their instruments and turn their heads around. You greet San like you normally do, and when your eyes flit to the new addition, all brightness drops from your face.
“What. The. Fuck.”
Yunho cocks his head to the side almost tauntingly, eyes challenging. The corners of his mouth quirk upwards, though more with the intention of saying hah you thought you’d never see me again. “Hello to you too, honey. Looks like fate brought us together once more, eh?”
You blink multiple times to make sure your eyes aren’t deceiving you. To your dismay, they sure aren’t. It really is Yunho standing right next to an utterly confused San, and the bass in his hands just confirms it furthermore.
“Since when do you play an instrument?” you gawk. There’s no fucking way he could’ve had time to pick up music, not when his schedule was already jammed with basketball training and student council activities. Then again, that was his schedule in middle school.
“Since I was fifteen,” he drawls, unaffected by your outburst. “Any other questions, honey? Preferably something along the lines of how have you been? I expected a warmer welcome from you, not gonna lie.”
“What does Yeosang even see in you?” you splutter instead, disgust prevalent in your voice.
“Talent. Believe it or not.”
“Guys, no fighting,” Yeosang warns, but you’re too busy sending Yunho daggers and every pg rated curse under the sun your brain can wrack up.
Meanwhile, San shifts his weight on one leg awkwardly and asks in the background as your verbal dispute continues, “Are they exes or something?”
“Nah, just childhood enemies,” Mingi mumbles, clearly used to your interactions to the point where he’s becoming bored of it. He’s heard all the profanities too many times coming out from the same mouth, hence why he isn’t as disturbed as San is.
“Listen up, you piec—“ 
“(y/n), the camera. Help your older brother out, will ya?” Yeosang cuts you off urgently, the warning tone in his words hard to miss.
“Yeah, help your brother out, shorty,” Yunho snickers. Appalled by his blatant shamelessness, you scowl.
“I’m not that short—!”
“Still shorter than I am, shorty. Or do you prefer honey?”
World War III would’ve broken out right then and there if it weren’t for Yeosang’s death glare — you know, the look he has etched on his face whenever he means business and is willing to go so far and expose all of the nasty mishaps you’ve done in middle school, which is definitely something that should never see the light of day.
“I prefer neither,” you mutter after weighing the gravity of Yeosang’s wrath, avoiding any eyes before you set up the camera. Luckily, nobody further comments on that and eventually, everybody resumes practicing their parts of the songs.
Just in time as Mingi takes another short break to chug his water down, you stumble across a problem. “Uh, Yeosang? You should buy a new camera. This is still usable, but you might have to reset every ten minutes or so.”
A groan leaves him, followed by a shrill guitar riff, and you can see that he’d prefer death over spending money for a new one. “Can’t you just stay here during practice and reset it? You also get to hear some new tracks of the upcoming EP!” That fucker, he’s just too lazy to run forward and press a button every few minutes.
“I have to be on standby for the Block B ticket sale,” you lie. Technically, it’s not really a lie because you do plan on going to the Block B concert with Wooyoung, but 1) the ticket sale isn’t even today and 2) it’s always Wooyoung who buys the tickets. Yeosang doesn’t need to know that though. Any excuse is better than having to sit through practice and see if Yunho is as good as he claims.
Seems like Yeosang desperately doesn’t want to keep running back and forth to reset the camera as he suddenly says, “You can do it here too.” You would argue that the garage has its separate WiFi and only the band members have access to it, but then: “You can use my laptop instead.”
And letting you use his laptop is something he never does. You failed to submit an assignment in time because your own laptop broke down and he didn’t let you borrow his computer for even that.
“Fine,” you sigh in defeat. Yeosang thanks you with a smile so obnoxiously sweet it makes you gag. When all he gets in return from you is the middle finger, his demeanor drops and he mutters something inaudible under his breath, pointing to the small table at the side where all their phones and laptops are lying before he goes back to the others.
Once all four of them are in position and ready to play, you press the record button before flipping yourself onto the old patchwork couch Yeosang bought at a garage sale for only thirty quid a few years back. To your surprise, Yeosang’s MacBook is already unlocked, the default wallpaper of mountains and northern lights quite jarring to your eyes.
When given the rare chance to have unlimited access to your sibling’s devices, it’s self-explanatory what to do. You either a) go through all of their accounts and find as much dirt as possible about them that serves as good material for future blackmail purposes or b) sign them up to as many online subscriptions as possible that will make them go crazy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work on Yeosang because 1) he doesn’t mind online subscriptions, and 2) he never checks his email account, hence why his inbox is filled with over 2000 mails, a third of them most likely unopened. On top of that, his MacBook is strictly meant for work, so if you really wanted to find out his most embarrassing secrets, your only shot is his phone.
That being said, you’re left with option c) which is checking out Block B’s concert merch since that’s the only sensible thing you can do right now. Forget productivity; that isn’t doable when Yeosang’s deep timbre is blaring in your ears along with the instruments. To be honest, you really enjoy Stereowave’s music and that’s on their music, not because your brother is the lead singer. You’ve enjoyed each of their performances and perhaps you’ve been indulging in the privilege of hearing their new songs first.
But now that Yunho’s involved, suddenly the prospect of having a new favorite band sounds tempting. What was Yuqi’s favorite band again? Day6? You should take a closer look at their discography.
As much as you want to mute the sound, from San’s riffs to Mingi’s drum solo, you fail to do so. One moment you’re opening the search browser, and in the next, your eyes are set on the group. They’re practicing like they usually do; fun etched on their faces as they lose themselves in the music. Yeosang is singing as if he was performing in front of a million viewers while San improvises a solo on a whim. Mingi messes up the beat for a split second after failing to catch his stick and somehow, your eyes have zoomed in on Yunho. It doesn’t take you five seconds to realize:
Yunho is good.
While he might not seem as fired up as the other three, he’s visibly relaxed. Just like Seonghwa, he plays smoothly and isn’t overpowered by the others, but he seems to have an easier time gliding his fingers across the fingerboard. The bassline is easy to filter out, not the generic pattern you can find in every second pop song, yet still compliments the other instruments.
He can play, fair game. However, that’s the least of your worries. You’re more attentive to the ratio of his hands to the bass. His hands are larger than Seonghwa’s by far, no doubt. That makes sense given his height, maybe an inch taller than Mingi. But Mingi doesn’t have that big hands. Doesn’t that mean that Yunho’s body is disproportional?
Before you know it, you drag your gaze from his shoes up to his legs and stop at his hands briefly, only to proceed upwards until you see the cocky smirk and amused eyes directed at you. All clogs in your brain come to a stillstand and despite that, that’s when you realize you’ve been 1) enjoying his music, 2) checking him out, and 3) checking him out and caught red-handed.
It feels as if you were living on the sun instead of on Earth as you burn up in embarrassment. Knowing there’s no way you can deflect what you just did, you quickly turn back to the laptop, the Google search bar staring back at you.
You’re about to type in something when the search history pops up, catching your eyes. A gasp leaves you but it goes under the music, everyone too immersed in their own thing to notice the prevalent horror settling on your face.
exhibitionism
getting off in public
best crowded places to have sex and get away with it
You blink, thinking that your sleep deprivation got the worst out of you and that you’ve finally reached the stage where you start hallucinating. Except, you know you’re not hallucinating. After going through the words again and again, you know that you’re really not fucking hallucinating and that your nonexistent sleep cycle isn’t as bad as Yuqi makes it out to be.
When you said you wanted to dig up dirt on your brother, you didn’t mean it in the form of his kinks. Money can’t buy everything, but how you wish it could so you could unsee that shocking discovery.
Since this is Yeosang’s work computer and he’s signed into his Google account, he must make use of the drive to save a copy of his ideas. It probably won’t amount to anything since he’s the walking embodiment of staying unbothered, but writing him a note on his docs about how he’s made your life worse by not clearing his search history is better than staying silent.
You click on the little icon on the top right corner, expecting to see Yeosang’s name right above the email address. But then you see Yunho’s name instead, and suddenly everything makes much more sense.
This was never Yeosang’s laptop to begin with.
To say you’re at a loss of words is an understatement. There’s no way someone could have as little self-awareness and leave their laptop unlocked, let alone Yunho out of all people. Then again, the last thing you expected from him was to play the bass and blend well with the rest of the band as if he’s always been the bassist of Stereowave and not the newly found replacement.
This is absolutely bonkers. But:
You could have fun with it. Maybe it’s for the better that money can’t buy everything.
Besides dozens of articles about semi-public sex and even a blogpost titled Shagging in Broad Daylight for Dummies, his search history of the last 24 hours consists of many forum links discussing the morality of exhibitionism, conspiracy theories, and hand care guides. You wheeze when you see the private playlist he saved on his YouTube account; a collection of videos about filing your nails properly and the best hand cream brands for dry skin.
Yeosang calls in for a break, and everyone’s grateful for it. San lets out a relieved noise as he places his guitar on the stand before catching the water bottle Mingi chucks at him.
“My arms are beat,” Mingi complains.
San sends him an incredulous look and snorts, “All you do is bang! crash! ppang! while my throat is fucked! And so are my legs!”
“Not my fault if you keep doing your high pitched oows! while jumping around like a— like a cricket!”
“A cricket? Are you serious?”
“I’m tired, okay!”
“Then that means we should call it a day and go home and rest, right?”
“Choi San, I think you’re onto something.”
“Absolutely not,” Yeosang deadpans, causing the bickering duo to pout in sync. “We have lots to do especially since Yunho’s now part of the band.” When all he’s met with is an attempt of cute puppy eyes that rather looks like a bad rendition of any horror movie featuring creepy dolls, Yeosang sighs, “I ordered chicken for dinner and yes, it’s on me.”
In an instant, Mingi and San’s faces brighten up and they’re celebrating as if they won a free cruise to the Bahamas. They don’t hesitate to envelop Yeosang in a bear hug, crushing the life out of him. A chuckle escapes you at the sight of your brother wringing for his sanity. Sometimes you wonder how on Earth those three guys are the same three guys who perform in abandoned warehouses, jamming out their punk rock songs while looking all edgy (in a cool way that has at least half of their fans thirsting after them).
Meanwhile, Yunho drops himself on the other end of the couch. Propping his right leg on the coffee table in front, he digs around in his pockets before pulling something out.
“Since when do you file your nails?” You pointedly raise a brow at him. Although your extensive research on his browser history already answered that question, you ask him just for the sake of it.
“Hand care is important, shorty,” Yunho replies, keeping his eyes trained on his fingers as he works the file around a nail. “If Kageyama Tobio files his nails, I can too. But enough with the small talk, what do you want?”
“I didn’t peg you as an exhibitionist.”
His hand stops moving. Yunho looks up at you, irritation written all over his features. “Because I file my nails...? A bold assumption, honey.”
There’s a reason why Yunho has always gotten away with pretty much everything. He’s a good actor who’s able to feign innocence at any time. His posture is relaxed, voice genuinely sounding flabbergasted that not even your shit-eating grin can throw him off guard.
You can’t, but your proof will do the job.
“I never said it’s because of your hand fixation.” You turn the laptop screen his way and once his eyes flicker on it and decipher the words, his face falls. Gone is the faux-confusion; as all color drains from him, his eyes look like they’re about to fall out of their sockets. “Is it really a bold assumption now, honey?”
Yunho inhales sharply when you scoot closer to him and put a firm hand on his left leg, his laptop now closed and long forgotten. Your fingers are placed too high for it to be friendly, skimming lightly on the inside of his thigh. Yeosang and the others are busy minding their own business but the chance of getting caught in the act is still there. The simple realization has adrenaline running a hundred miles an hour in your veins, and with the way Yunho clenches his jaw — a desperate attempt to fight the groan that’s threatening in the back of his throat — you’re not the only one who’s aroused by the setup.
Slowly, your hand inches closer to his growing bulge. Before you can dare yet another experimental squeeze, Yunho’s hand surges forward and holds your wrist in a vice grip.
“Don’t,” he snarls through gritted teeth, but it sounds sadder than it is intimidating when he’s sporting a boner right in front of your eyes.
You cock your head to the side, almost in a mocking demeanor. “You sure? Think about it, it’s a win-win situation. You get to live out your exhibitionist right here in front of your new bandmates, and I get the confirmation that you’re into it. But if you really don’t want to…” you try to retreat your hand but Yunho doesn’t let you budge, hand still enclosed around yours. That won’t do as an answer.
“Which one is it? Say it, Yunho,” you assert, narrowing your eyes. Yunho looks distraught, feverishly biting his lip while he’s internally fighting with himself, but he eventually chokes out a response.
“As long as nobody notices—”
“You either say you want me to touch you or not. I don’t want any roundabout stories.”
“Touch me,” he whispers defeatedly and the grip on your hand disappears completely. “But I swear to God if anyone realizes what you’re doing— hhnh—!” he cuts himself off with a low moan when you cup him over the material of his jeans.
“Yes yes, I get it. I don’t need Yeosang to know about this,” you dismiss. “And oh wow, you’re getting hard fast when I’m just touching you over your pants.”
“Just get to it.”
The snappish attitude causes you to stop dead in your tracks. “You think you’re in the position to tell me what to do? I can be mean too, y’know,” you start nonchalantly, a stark contrast to the way your heart is shaking in your ribcage. The power you suddenly hold is exhilarating. “I could just leave you like this, and then you’d have to try to cover your situation down there while practice goes on. How would the others react if they only knew your dick is hard? Probably won’t take them too long to find out since standing for a long time can be tiring, hm?”
Yunho’s head lolls back in response as he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. His breathing is uneven and the resulting moan that follows suit makes you smirk. You lightly smack the inside of his thigh, causing another wave of arousal to rupture in him. He chokes out a hushed ‘f-fuck’ and at this point, the constriction around his cock must be bordering painful.
“Who would’ve thought that the big bad Jeong Yunho is actually a submissive bitch who’s hungry for attention?” you ask gleefully, delivering another slap before stroking the area. “Who would’ve fucking thought you were a sub?”
“I-I’m not— shit, s-stop that, hngh— a fucking sub.”
“Yeah yeah, say that to yourself.” You rip your gaze away from Yunho’s flushed face to check if the coast is clear before targeting his fisted hands. He stiffens when you pry his hand open and bring three digits to your lips, sticking your tongue out to give kitten licks to his fingertips before pushing them into your mouth. You hum, suck, swirl your tongue around his fingers, giggling when all he does is stare at you wordlessly, unable to form any coherent thoughts. “See? Not even once have you put up a fight.”
That seems to snap him out of his daze. In an instant, his eyes darken and his jaw clenches.
“Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.”
You snicker, seeing through his bluff. “Wow, I’m so scared. What do you wanna do? Leave practice right now? Drag me to my room and pound me into the mattress?”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“You could never, sub.”
Whatever strands of self-control were still residing in Yunho have turned to dust by now. One moment he’s towering over you in full height, looking down on your sitting form in bitter distaste, and in the next, he’s dragging you out of the basement, unaffected by the sudden silence and Yeosang, Mingi and San’s confused expressions.
Once you’re in the living room, Yunho wastes no time crowding you against the wall and crashing his lips against yours. The kiss is a messy clash of teeth and tongues, but it leaves you hot and lightheaded and aching for more. Yunho knows no limits and snakes one arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, the other hand fisting your hair. He tugs harshly and the sharp sting sends all your nerves into a frenzy.
“Bedroom. Now.” The sudden huskiness in his tone catches you off guard and you wonder when his voice has ever sounded so rough. You moan into the kiss, fisting his shirt as you stumble your way to your bedroom.
Yunho pins you against the door once you’re in your bedroom. His lips are addictive, just like the groans he slips in kisses and his hands roaming your body. He gets rid of your clothes until you’re left in your underwear, then forces a knee between your legs to keep them from closing. Your eyes roll back at the friction, growing needier and hotter when he presses his thigh against you harder. 
When you finally pull away, his eyes are hooded and his lips are red and swollen. There’s no trace of inhibitions left in him as he watches you like a predator. With horror, you realize that the tables have turned, and when he easily locks both of your wrists above your head with one hand only, that’s when you know you’re undisputedly powerless against him.
“Who’s the sub now?” he pants, eyes sparkling with glee.
“Still y-you.” The response sounds pathetic to your own ears, but you have too big of an ego to admit it out loud. Yunho doesn’t buy it either if his quirked brow wasn’t telling enough.
“Still in denial, honey? I see. Guess I’ll have to do more then.” His free hand reaches down to tug on the waistband of your underwear, only to let it snap against your skin. The slight sting is enough to render your knees into mush and set fog into your vision. He does it again, and then he actually tugs the fabric down and you finally grab his motives.
“You’re bluffing— y-you wouldn’t put y-your fingers,” you ramble, hyperaware about how dangerously close his fingers are. Just when you think he’s about to shove a digit in, he pulls away completely.
“You know, you keep talking about my hands. It’s always my hands this, my hands that,” Yunho says casually, giving his nails a quick glance before meeting your eyes. “Rather than me having a hand fixation, it’s you who has a thing for hands. My hands specifically.”
You don’t like how every word is true. You don’t want to acknowledge that he’s correct. Verbally, because your body is moving on its own and has betrayed you long ago.
Yunho taps on your bottom lip and you comply reluctantly, letting him shove the same three fingers you sucked before. Mumbling unintelligible words under his breath, he watches intently as you hum around him, eyes fluttering shut when he slowly moves them in and out of your mouth. A whine escapes you when he pulls them out for good, soaked wet with your spit.
“Tell me.” Yunho grins, “Tell me what you like about them. Or else I’ll leave you hanging.” He’s not lying and you know it. The look he sends you is enough proof that he wouldn’t hesitate to leave you high and dry.
You don’t like how he’s stringing you on like a rag doll. You don’t like how he’s stripping you off your dignity step by step. Strangely enough, you feel yourself leaking and wanting nothing but his pretty long fingers inside of you.
“I like how they, agh I— I l-like how—” you stutter, losing all levels of rationality when he suddenly circles around your entrance. Yunho urges you to continue and it takes up all of your brainpower to pick up where you left off, “—they’re so long and big and pretty—”
“So you have a size kink.”
You stare at him in disbelief. Now that, that’s something he shouldn’t have deduced. “W-wha— I don’t!”
“Seems to me that you have one though. You kept stressing how big and bad and tall I was after all.” You stiffen. Did you? Did you really? You don’t recall saying it that many times but it's hard to think straight when Yunho still has your wrists above your head and is looking down at you in a downright patronizing way. It leaves you trembling pitifully, feeling called out and feeling so, so small.
He really wants you to hit your lowest peak because he doesn’t stop there. “Who’s the real sub here? Is it really me? Or is it you who likes feeling so short, small, tiny.” His smirk widens when your breath hitches ever so slightly. “I fucking knew it.”
“You don’t know shit,” you bark back, but to no avail. Your credibility has diminished the moment he caught up to your kinks.
“Say whatever you want but that won’t change the fact that you’re tiny baby,” he pauses, takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he’s giving you a thorough once-over and then enunciates the next syllables with such clarity that forces time to stop, “My tiny, helpless baby.”
The pet name breaks you. It’s the final trigger that takes all your inhibitions away and the pathetic size of an ego that was left in your stubborn head.
“Please,” your voice cracks but that’s the least of your worries. You can’t move, can’t talk back, and won’t get anything in return. Yunho is right in front of you, finding satisfaction in your internal destruction and yet, after all of the things he’s slaughtered you to, he won’t give you anything in return.
“Just a little bit more, baby. I’ll give you what you want if you repeat after me; I’m your—”
“I’m your tiny, helpless baby who desperately wants you to fuck me.” Yunho is mildly taken aback that you were still able to think and get it right before he even finished his sentence. “Now get on to it, Yunho. Please.”
You’re sniffling at this point, begging for any kind of stimulation that shoots you to the stars. You’re fucking sniffling, and that’s all it takes for Yunho to manhandle you on the bed. A gasp escapes you, not expecting this turn of events at all. It all happens in a flash and the next thing you know, you’re on all fours, face buried in the pillow.
“Yunho, I t-thought y-you’d fuck me,” you complain, glancing behind to see what’s taking him so long. Your mouth waters at the sight.
“Patience, baby,” he says as he’s unbuckling his belt, taking his sweet time. You rub your legs together to ease the tension, but you can’t really say you’re not enjoying the show. Yunho’s lean, slightly defined, and once he’s only left in his underwear, you swallow heavily. There’s a large, dark patch on the fabric and the bulge seems more prominent than before.
If your mouth was only watering, you’re drooling by now. Yunho takes off his boxers, revealing his painfully hard cock, tip red and oozing precum. Just like the rest of him, he’s abnormally huge.
You have two thoughts. One: Fuck, you want him. Now. Two:
“That’s never going to fit inside of me.”
“Oh it will,” he says with such confidence it gives you shivers. “I’ll pound you into the mattress and you’ll take it all.”
He grabs you by your thighs to pull you closer to him before positioning himself right behind you. “W-wait!” you cry, heart suddenly feeling heavy in your chest, “D-don’t just put it in without prep— o-oh, hnngh—” your body feels like jelly when Yunho presses two spit-coated fingers past your entrance, stretching you out with finesse.
“I’m not that heartless,” he chuckles amusedly, right at the same time he curls his digits right against your sweet spot, sending you headfirst into bliss. “You’re so small you wouldn’t be able to take an inch without prep.”
You only whine into the pillow, arching your back as he continues his ministrations. Once Yunho deems you stretched out enough, he retreats his fingers and replaces them immediately with his cock.
The difference is like night and day. It’s like his fingers didn’t amount to anything compared to this. The high-pitched cry that escapes you is loud as you grasp onto the pillow for dear life.
“How can you be so big?” you pant. There’s no way he’s past four inches deep inside of you. You’re far from being filled, but your walls are already clenching hard around him.
“Bassists do it deeper for a reason.” The innuendo is tacky but in your current headspace, it sounds like the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. Yunho stills his hips, letting you get used to him. “How are you feeling?”
“Guh—” he chuckles at your inability to form coherent words, let alone thoughts. “So big.”
“You’ll get used to it, honey.” He leans forward to pet your hair. “Tell me when I can move,” he adds gently, and you swear you could melt right then.
It takes you a moment to get your breathing steady, and then he pushes more of his length inside. Whimpering, you writhe beneath him, feeling as if you’re being torn apart. Meanwhile, he’s breathing hard through his nose, trying his damn hardest to go as slow as possible. At a certain point, Yunho stops pressing for more and pulls out ever so slightly before rocking his hips back forward. It starts out slowly, but he gradually picks up the pace and you lose yourself into him.
“Faster,” you moan, bending your back for an even deeper angle. “Hnngh, so full. Want m-more.”
“You were right, you can’t take me to the hilt.” Yunho readjusts his grip on his hips and you know that bruises are going to last until the end of the week. “God, you’re so fucking small that you can’t take me to the fucking hilt.”
Your vision turns foggy once the meaning gets through you. Now that he’s saying it, how much of his cock is inside of you? Half of it? A third? He’s stretching you out so well, filling you up so impossibly deep and that wasn’t even his everything?
“That’s not— want more of you, all of you,” you stammer, not realizing what you’re even saying. “Baby wants all of you.” God, you’re so drunk and desperate for his cock that you can’t refer yourself in the first person anymore.
Yunho reacts just as perplexed, eyes widening. His hips still once more, and though you’d want to shout at him to keep on moving, you don’t find the energy to move your head, or even lift a finger.
“So fucking greedy,” he growls, pulling out of you completely. Not even a second later, he flips you around on your back so that you’re facing him dead in the eye, and then he pushes back in. The new position has you gurgling on broken words as your arms flail around for dear life.
Yunho throws a leg over his shoulder, creating a deeper angle. You don’t know if he’s actually giving you more if he’s managed to force more of him into you. All you register is the messy squelch of liquids and your moans bouncing off the walls. You can’t even see properly, everything a blur and a mix of different colors.
“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper, sensing your demise nearing closer and closer.
“Then cum,” Yunho orders in between groans, then adds in a louder voice, “You hear that baby? Cum and make a mess out of yourself.”
Your orgasm crashes onto you in a big singular wave as you tremble under his frame, walls clenching around him tightly. His name leaves your mouth like a mantra as you continue to convulse. Yunho pulls out moments later, just to spurt white on your abdomen. His face is flushed and beads of sweat are forming on his forehead while he jerks himself dry.
It’s a miracle that Yunho hasn’t toppled on you once he slowly comes down from his high. The fog in your vision clears up gradually, but your limbs are as good as worthless. You won’t be able to move freely for a good day or two.
As you continue to blink at the ceiling, only finding the energy to breathe, Yunho grabs the box of tissues from your nightstand and wipes himself off before doing the same to you. His touch is gentle unlike before, and you’d thank him if your vocal cords were still functioning.
You’re about to drift to sleep until he suddenly leans down and pecks your lips. In an instant, you narrow your eyes at him and ask, “What was that for?”
“You had some cum on your lip. I wanted to taste too.” Yunho smiles cheekily and runs his tongue against his bottom lip, then grimaces. “It tastes... yikes.”
He cleans you up in silence before plopping onto the bed right next to you. No words are exchanged up until you say, “Yeosang is going to kill you.”
“He can’t afford to kill me. He needs me for the band,” he muses.
“He’ll still kill you.”
“I appreciate the concern, honey.”
“Just scram back to practice.”
“Don’t you want to go to the bathroom first?”
“I can do it myself.”
“Oh really?”
“... Yunho, help me on my legs and then scram back to practice.”
Meanwhile, back in the basement, the guys are waiting for their bandmate to come back so they can finally finish practice and then eat chicken.
“You sure (y/n) and Yunho are only childhood enemies? They’ve been going at it like rabbits if he isn’t back here yet!” San exclaims, throwing his arms up for dramatic effect.
Mingi can’t counter that because San has a point, so he whips his head to Yeosang. “Dude, you sure they’re not in a relationship? They have to be at least fuckbuddies! Or fuckrivals? Fuckenemies? Or…”
“I do not know and I do not care,” Yeosang says blankly, looking like he’s about to bang his head against the wall because he sure won’t walk into your room and curse his eyes for the rest of his life. Damnit, all he wants is to practice and get the band together; their next gig is only a few weeks away. “In fact, I want to unsee what I just saw and unhear what you just said.”
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unambiguouslybi · 3 years
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Hello! I hope you're doing pleasant today, or tonight- or afternoon- or noon? And Happy Pride!! 🎉🎉🎉
So I'm kinda nervous about talking about this mostly because I feel like I'm disappointing my family again hHHh (I came out to being Bisexual last month and they've just been in denial and it's like it didn't happen-)
But it's just that I was born female and that's okay, but on some days I feel very masculine and want to be addressed and represented as such
My friend suggested that I might be Bigender but I just want to be sure about it, it just feels like I'm switching between masculinity and feminity very often
Hi!
I can relate to you when you say you came out and it's like your family's in denial. When I first came out as bisexual and for a couple years after, a lot of my family and friends acted like it never happened and that I was straight. Then when it came to being bigender, I was even more nervous to come out bc my family went through this big ordeal when my brother came out as trans and I was afraid they'd think I was 'influenced' by him and I felt bad for not being the 'normal one' like they thought I was. But luckily, the more my family gets educated, the more they understand and accept who I am. I do think it's important to have resources you can point to in case someone is ignorant on the subject bc a lot of the times, they just don't understand things properly and if they learn about it, they can be more accepting of it (of course, some people will be anti-LGBT+ no matter what unfortunately).
I can't say for sure whether or not you're bigender as figuring out gender is more personal, but I would say it's definitely plausible! I do feel very similarly to you and identify as a man and a woman.
-Mod Kitt
Below is an answer on another ask from one of our mods about multigenders:
Hello yes anon are you me XD But for serious I recognize some of those gender feelings. Since it sounds like you’re right at the start of your gender journey, I’ll simply provide some definitions in the context of possibly being some flavor of multigender~
Nonbinary: An umbrella term for a gender identity that is not 100% man or 100% woman. Some people just identify as nonbinary as well. Many people see this as a neutral third gender or a lack of gender entirely, but the reality is that there is a wide spectrum of nonbinary identities, including bigender.
Bigender: Identifying as [at least] 2 genders. While man/woman pairing is common (like yours truly) you can also identify as a binary gender + nonbinary gender, or as two nonbinary genders! Sometimes the ratio of gender 1 to gender 2 can shift, or sometimes it’s more like preferring to wear blue one day and green the next.
Genderfluid: Similar to bigender, but distinguished from it by being more, well, fluid! People who choose to identify as genderfluid rather than bigender are more likely to experience a changing, shifting gender as a defining feature rather than something that happens occasionally.
Genderqueer: Like I’ve said before, I see this label used most often by people who know that they’re non-cis in some fashion, but don’t particularly care to put a hard and fast definitive label on it. Or, their gender expression is such that they are “queering” their otherwise cis gender. I’ve seen a few crossdressers and drag performers use genderqueer in this way.
Regarding coming out to your family (or even just getting the chance to process this with them rather than more or less on your own), I’ve seen the suggestion to test the waters and see how they react to the concept of other nonbinary or trans folks (celebrities, friends of yours, people that your family may know, etc) and if that’s favorable then to try coming out to them. If another mod or a follower want to chime in with more specific advice please do! My “coming out” is less in the sense of leaving the closet and more in the sense of just opening the closet door, so I don’t have much experience there!
- Eli
hello hello i wanted to add my 2 cents too
as far as coming out is really theres no right way to do it. coming out as queer was easy because i have family members that are open members of the lgb community but coming out as trans/enby was alot more.... difficult. for me i had to ease them into it slowly over the course of months. i probably could have (and honestly, should have) done it all at once but i had never given myself the chance to fully explore who i was when i first did it so they learned about me as i learned about me.
if you want your family along for the journey i suggest that, telling them that your questioning your gender identity and that your thoughts and feelings are subject to change as you learn (of course in a more natural sounding way x3). if you want to kind of leave them in the dark as you explore alone thats also fine! just be sure to have a friend for support as you explore because otherwise it tends to feel very alienating and very lonely. this friend doesnt have to be in the community (but its very nice if they are!) so long as they love and support you and encourage you in your journey.
and most of all remember you dont have to tell your family anything you dont want too. if it makes you too uncomfortable or you feel too unsafe then you can keep it from them. its your life and you get to pick and choose who gets to see and know which parts of you.
-ky
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dreamiehrs · 4 years
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deskmates ➛ n.jm
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genre: fluff, high school au, deskmate!jaemin, kinda strangers to friends to lovers, reserved!y/n
pairing: jaemin x you
requested: yes
note: this was requested by this lovely anon! I felt a string pull in my heart when you said that the reader isn’t a touchy person bc... I’m the same! so I was really excited to write this hehe o(≧∇≦o)!! hope you enjoy it! (gif credit: @minhaes​)
tomorrow is your first day of junior year and to say that you were nervous was... an understatement
even though this was your third year in high school and you should be used to it by now you just!! couldn’t contain the butterflies in your stomach when you thought about it
schedules for your classes had come out a few days ago and you had immediately checked to see if you had any friends in your classes
unfortunately... you didn’t TT
at least you had lunch with all of them though ( ᵕ̤ ‧̫̮ ᵕ̤ )
you spend the rest of the day buying school supplies because you’re... that person
but all of the supplies you buy are really adorable so that’ll motivate you to get your homework done!! and to study!! get on your game y/n
anyways, tomorrow finally comes and you’re super close to pretending you’re sick so you don’t have to go but... you have to get that education ya know?
sophomore bestie jisung picks you up and can see that you’re about five minutes from bawling
he just pats your back and says: “get it together, y/n. it won’t be that bad. I can’t believe I’m a year younger than you and telling you this right now.”
“okay okay, thanks jisungie.” you focus on your breathing during the ride and eventually, you calm down thanks to your friend’s words
“no prob,” he mumbles under his breath and hands you the aux cord “wanna play something to cheer yourself up?”
you excitedly nod and plug the cord into your phone, jamming out on your way there
you guys arrive and when you walk in you meet up with your besties!! aka the dream team as you guys called yourselves
your friend group consisted of ballet dancer and artist huang renjun, soccer player lee donghyuck, ice skater park jisung, boxer lee jeno, and pianist zhong chenle
your conversation is filled with laughter as you guys walk each other to your classes and luckily, you, renjun, and donghyuck are all on the same hall for homeroom
they speedily walk you in your homeroom and you go to wave bye to them but they’re already gone
...such good friends (;¬_¬)
you scan the room for empty seats and see two right next to each other on the far left, middle row and you make your way towards them
you sit down in the desk closest to the window and rest your head on your palm, waiting for the bell to ring
you almost doze off until you hear an angelic voice from beside you “excuse me?”
you flinch to the max and turn your head to the right to see a smiley boy standing to the desk beside you
“y-yes?” you stutter out and you mentally slap yourself in the face
his grin grows wider at your bewildered state and you feel your eyes go wide in embarrassment
“is this seat taken?”
you shake your head side to side, not willing to talk anymore after reacting like a fool
he takes no time to put his bookbag beside his now desk and situating himself in his seat before resting his head on his palm like you were once before; staring at your face like he’ll never get tired of it
“what’s your name?” he softly questions you
he can see the blush on your cheeks and how you’re quietly jumping your leg up and down, but he doesn’t pay too much attention to it as you catch his attention once again by moving your hair out of your face
“my name’s y/f/l/n. what’s yours?”
“I’m na jaemin. it’s nice to meet you.” he emphasizes ‘you’ in his second sentence and outstretches his hand towards you
“likewise.” you glance at his hand nervously before taking it in yours, giving it a firm shake
you two retract hands and you visibly cringe about how clammy yours was
while jaemin’s were... soft, warm, safe
his chuckle rings in your ear and you peer up at him “what?”
“your hands are very clammy.”
this was your face right now: (๑・▱・๑)
you dearly wished for one of your friends to save you from this class TT
jaemin didn’t sense your dilemma and kept on driving you mad instead: “are you nervous?”
“yeah... even though I’m a junior the first day never fails to give me jitters.”
his ears seemed to perk up when he heard the word junior “oh? you’re a junior as well?”
“yes I am... wait a second...” you take a good look at his face before continuing “were you in my sociology class last year?”
“I was!! I sat all the way in the back. you?”
you wrack your brain and you can see him in your mind... sitting in the back, occasionally talking to the person beside him... always asking the teacher questions
wow, this was unexpected
“I sat in the very front. woah, that’s crazy.”
the bell had finally rung for the class to start, and he gestured for you to come closer and whispered: “I thought you looked familiar when I walked in. all the more to get to know you, right?”
you had a hard time paying attention to the teacher after that interaction
after homeroom, you may have bolted out of that classroom as fast as you could, not hearing jaemin suggesting to walk you to your next class
you clashed into renjun and he could just see your expression and wondered... what happened??
you started rambling incoherent things and he just looked at you like you lost your mind... he decides that this isn’t the best place to discuss things and wraps his arm around your shoulder before pulling you along somewhere else
meanwhile, jaemin just watches all this by his locker, unknown to you and renjun
you only have enough time to mention to renjun that a boy sat beside you in your class before you have to head to your next class but he looks... kind of angry? more like peeved
he looks like he’s ready to fight jaemin tbh
renjun was pretty protective of you and the rest of the dream team... so if anyone was causing you trouble he’d be right beside you, ready to deck them out
time skip to lunch!! finally, you get to see all your friends (^-^*)/
except, you have an additional person seated at your regular table and that person is... you guessed it! na jaemin
you quietly grumbled as you plopped down between jisung and renjun
they give you a concerned glance and jisung opts to ruffle your hair to try to make you feel better
it’s not like you disliked jaemin or anything it’s just... this morning he made your heart kind of... explode... it’s not like you have a crush on him or anything... you barely even know the guy
“y/n! my new friend! how’s your classes?” jaemin removes you from your moping, you glance up at him with a fry sticking out of your mouth
you hear jisung chuckle and you gently slap his shoulder
“they’re good. except, I don’t have any of my besties in them.” you pout as you look at your friends at the table
jaemin mimics you, and you hear renjun cough from your right side
“are you okay? I’ll grab you some more napkins.” jaemin leaves the table and renjun looks at you pointedly
“...is that the guy that sat beside you in your homeroom?”
“yeah.” you answer back before picking up another fry and tossing it in your mouth
“oh, I invited him to our table because he’s in my history class.” jeno speaks up from beside jisung “is that okay?”
“n-”
“yeah! it’s fine!” you squeak out, interrupting renjun who just grumbled beside you. you rested your hand on his head before ruffling his hair like crazy, him swatting at your arm in an attempt to make you stop
the rest of the day went by in a blur, and as the week went by, you learned more and more about your deskmate, jaemin
the two of you would text every day, sharing things you found hilarious, talking about your days, and gossiping
renjun was protective as always, but after a while, he got used to jaemin and his front slowly faded
he quickly became part of your friend group and to be honest, it felt like he was always meant to be there, you know?
if you had met him sooner, you would’ve totally introduced him to the guys earlier
the two of you would sometimes abandon the rest of the dream team to go on your own adventures, which consisted of going shopping, watching the stars, stuffing your faces, and/or hanging out each other’s houses
...and yes, sometimes you would give in to letting jaemin cuddle you because he begged you so much, although you weren’t a really touchy person to begin with
your hangouts with him were all careless fun until renjun pointed out to you one day ―
“I think jaemin has a crush on you.”
your brain immediately went on lockdown when those words slipped out of his mouth
“injunnie, that’s not possible. we’re just good friends.”
“friends who hang out 24/7 and can’t seem to get enough of each other?”
you roll your eyes at him. “as if. he probably sees me as his little sister or something.”
he lightly slaps the back of your head. “do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? don’t act like you don’t see the stars in his eyes when he gazes at you.”
“injunnie, don’t rope me into your romantic fantasies.”
“just see for yourself, then.”
after that convo with injun, you couldn’t stop thinking about what he said... no, no. jaemin looked at you like any other friend, not in a gushy, special way
jaemin was already a touchy person as he is, but when he was around you, he seemed to get even clingier
obviously it was something you would have to get used to, but whenever he touched you, you could feel a warmness spread throughout your stomach
....y/n, no. you don’t like jaemin. you would say to yourself
but as the weeks passed by, you found it hard to believe that you don’t like him romantically
“y/n! y/n! how about this movie?” jaemin snapped you out of your thoughts as he hung out at your house one day after school
you took a quick glance at his phone before mumbling “sure.”
you could hear him huff beside you and you glanced at him to see a pout playing on his lips
“what’s wrong?”
“I just feel like you haven’t been interested in anything I’ve been saying today...”
you feel your heartache as he peers at you, trying to search your eyes for a hint on how you feel. “that isn’t true, jaem, I―”
“no, it is true, y/n. something’s been bothering you recently, something big.”
you just stayed silent, proving jaemin right. you look down at the bed underneath you, not wanting to look into said boy’s eyes beside you because if you did, your heart would be gone for good
the two of you stay like this for a while, him gently playing with your hair when you finally decide to speak up. “jaem, I―” you glance at him and he nods before you continue “I think I have a crush on someone..”
he just hums at your confession and you turn to look at him, but his smile is sweet as ever as he looks off into the distance, pondering
you take his silence to explain more in-depth. “I’ve only been best friends with him for a month or two, however, he’s extremely important to me. he’s shown me many new experiences, and at this rate, I would say that my feelings for him undermine the word crush. it’s love, jaem, and I don’t know what to do with these feelings anymore.”
“are you comfortable enough with them to confess your feelings?”
“...I don’t know... I feel like I just did.”
to your surprise, jaemin’s face turns bright red. “a-are you saying that I’m the person you love?”
“yes, jaemin. I’m in love with you.”
you hide your face with your hands and you can hear him moving beside you, which tempts you to peak out from your fingers
he has a heartwarming smile on his face as he opens his arms
you inch closer to him and he gives you a bear hug, holding so tight onto you that you can hear his pounding heartbeat against his chest
“I’m in love with you too, y/n. I’ve been since the first day of junior year.”
you feel your cheeks grow hot as you nuzzle your head into his shoulder
so after this, it’s safe to say that jaemin never fails to give you a heart attack every time he touches you or whispers something sweet into your ear
the next day at school, he drives you to school and you guys walk in, your fingers interlaced as the rest of the dream team look at you two like you’ve grown another head
“what did I say, y/n?” renjun asks with a big smirk on his face and you roll your eyes before a smile reaches your face
“wait, what did he say?” jaemin whispers beside you
“ahem, more importantly, if you ever hurt y/n, you’re going to get messed up real bad by the rest of us, got it?” renjun announces and the others nod their heads in agreement
“also, if you ever make her uncomfortable with your touchiness, just know that we’ll be banging on your door.” jeno states and the others hum along with him
“I understand. and besides, I’m pretty sure y/n is used to my clinginess by now, right, y/n?”
he squeezes your hand and you feel your veins fill with excitement at his touch
you giggle before squeezing his hand back. “right.”
384 notes · View notes
satonthelotuspier · 4 years
Note
I'm seeing prompts on your site and does that mean you are accepting them right now? I've never requested a prompt before and I don't know what to do? But if I'm doing it right I'd really like to see 13 for XueXiao from the bodyguard au prompt list? Fluffy or angsty, as you please. Am I doing this right?
OK so Im being obvious, but this contains XueXiao.
Modern Bodyguard AU so none of the complications of canon apply.
Now the disclaimers are out of the way, I have to apologise to the very patient @amaskinamirror bc this took so much longer to write than I expected. The reason being most of my prompt fics end up around the 1k-1.4k word mark and this kept going and kept going because there was a story there. It came in around the 4.5k work mark. Think of it as added value, unless you hate it in which case it’s not ;)
Pompts from this post here
Part 2 now available here
Xue Yang is the enfant terrible of the music world and his manager has pretty much had enough of his shitty behaviour. Features a thorny Xue Yang shaped by the worlds opinions of him, and a hardass yet caring Xiao Xingchen who maybe might just start to see beyond the lies.
Possible triggers/warnings: Also features swearing, man-handling, use of a date rape drug, minor injury and blood. Luckily XXC is there to save the day in all situations.
Xue Yang was woken up from a deep, no doubt alcohol-induced, sleep to the feeling of cold water being splashed in his face.
He shot upright coughing and spluttering and wiping water out of his eyes, trying to process what the hell had happened. The unconscious bodies around him all started to stir and groan back to lucidity.
Xue Yang followed the long line of the leg in front of him up to eventually meet a pair of dark eyes staring down at him without expression.
“What the fuck?” he demanded and tried to get up but someone he didn’t even remember the name of was laid across his legs.
It had been another party. One where they’d drunk hard and passed out before dawn some time; he didn’t know half the people here. That had never stopped him. Being the enfant terrible of the music industry took both time, effort and commitment.
The tall man bent down to extricate him, then yanked him to his feet.
“You have rehearsals in ninety minutes. Get showered, you smell like a brewery” a garment bag was pushed into his hands then he was waved in the direction of the hotel suite’s bathroom.
“Excuse me, but just who the fuck are you?” honestly his head felt a little woolly still from the after-effect of the alcohol he’d been drinking, but he was sure he didn’t know who this man was or what he was doing in his hotel suite.
“Your Fairy Godmother, Cinderella, now go get a shower, you’re wasting time”
Xue Yang grabbed hold of the collar of his jacket, “Don’t bullshit me”
The hand that clamped around his wrist was steel-like, “Your new security. Your manager sends his regards. I won’t tell you to go and shower again”
“Firstly, if you are security you are not my boss, so you can stop with the ordering me around like I’m your little bitch, secondly, you are my security? I’m sure if a duckling gets too close you’ll do a great job, otherwise…” he was going to push the other away, sure because of his willowy frame it would be easy. Quite how he ended up in an armlock and being dragged to the bathroom he didn’t know. He bit his tongue to stifle the cry of pain; no way would he utter the noise aloud. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he snarled as the other kept going into the bathroom.
“I’ve already explained. I’m not going to repeat myself” the man opened the shower door, pushed Xue Yang into the cubicle and pushed the on button.
Of course Xue Yang never learned his lesson; he launched himself at the other only to bounce off the cubicle door as the other shut it behind him, holding it closed.
“New world order, xiao-Xue, get used to being my little bitch” the other grinned as Xue Yang punched the glass then yelled at the pain in his hand, “Clean up, I don’t want to be forced to come in there and clean you up myself”
***
Xue Yang curled himself up as small as possible on the back seat of the car; he was in high sulk. After calling his manager to demand an explanation of what was going on Jin Guangyao had told him in no uncertain terms he’d better get used to the idea of Xiao Xingchen being around. His new security was not only there to provide for his personal safety after a spate of disturbing mail (more disturbing than the usual run of the mill threats at least), but to whip him into some kind of shape as Jin Guangyao was convinced his terrible behaviour, bad reputation and general personality was about to lose them some very large contracts.
Everyone loved a bad boy in theory, but when it began to affect his ability to make his management company money then they were definitely going to act to protect their asset.
And that had come in the form of Xiao Xingchen, who looked as gentle and fragile as an orchid but who had already handed Xue Yang his ass once today already.
“A-Qing, I need breakfast” Xue Yang whined at his assistant as his stomach rumbled for the fourth time.
“You shouldn’t have upset the new bodyguard then” she mocked him quietly, and he retreated even more, pulling the hood of his jacket up and wrapping his arms around his knees as A-Qing took pity on him and leaned forward to ask the driver to stop at a nearby coffee shop.
They did, and A-Qing and the driver returned with coffees for all and a bag full of muffins.
Lao-Xia, the driver, and A-Qing had been with Xue Yang long enough to not meet his gaze as they started on their own food; Xiao Xingchen had no such warning; he was too busy goggling at Xue Yang who had made his own muffin disappear like a magician with a rabbit.
“Are you going to eat that?” Xue Yang asked, pointing at the baked bun in Xiao Xingchen’s hand.
He simply offered it over; perhaps surprised at the demonstration of the speed at which a muffin could be demolished without trace.
The second one followed the first in quick order and Xue Yang froze as the other reached  over to brush the crumbs that had stuck to the corner of his mouth away with a thumb.
“You don’t want the Paparazzi to catch that” he said simply before turning in his seat to look out of the windscreen and sip at his coffee.
Xue Yang curled back in on himself and held his ridiculously sweet iced coffee to his chest.
“You eat too much sugar” Xiao Xingchen told him as Lao-Xia started the car and set off driving to the studio, “You need something to give you energy for the first meal of the day”
“Good luck with that, he functions on pure sugar and supplements” A-Qing mocked and Xue Yang shot her an annoyed look.
***
Xue Yang didn’t know why he was surprised the next morning when he was awoken by a solid shake to the shoulder.
He hadn’t been able to avoid the other to sneak off to party last night so he wasn’t hung over but that didn’t mean he was any more amenable to the idea of waking up.
“Come on Sleeping Beauty, you have to be at your first interview in an hour”
Interviews. His mortal enemy. The thing he hated most in the world. And he was still no better at dealing with them than he had been as a fresh face on the music scene, where the press had crucified him, thrown every painful fact of his past in his face and then painted him as a troubled bad boy with a temper; a role he’d eventually just given up fighting against and embraced.
He threw the blankets over his head; maybe if he just went back to sleep the interview would disappear.
The blankets were thrown back.
“Dude, what the fuck?” he demanded, was he allowed no privacy at all anymore?
“Get up” Xiao Xingchen jerked his head towards the bathroom.
“Fuck off. I’m not going” he reached out to push the other away.
It went about as well as yesterday had for him; he ended up face down on the bed with his arm locked up between his shoulder blades.
“Are you going to learn any time soon? I mean, kudos for persistence but lose points for stupidity. Now, last chance to get up on your own, otherwise I’ll throw you over my shoulder and you can go dressed like that”
Xue Yang wasn’t sure he believed the other was strong enough to actually carry him out of the hotel room, but he daren’t take the chance he might be dragged out kicking and screaming and dressed in his ratty old t-shirt and shorts.
“Fine, yes, I’m getting up. Let me go, please” as a street child he’d learned to beg prettily and it wasn’t a skill he was averse to using if he needed to, to survive. It didn’t need to be sincere, it just needed to sound it, to be calculated to pull on the other’s heart strings.
It didn’t seem to affect Xiao Xingchen, but he was released nonetheless.
***
Xue Yang of course arrived on time for his first interview, (there were three in total scheduled for today), as far as they went it wasn’t particularly gruelling for him, but he was fully aware he was a mess by the end of it; he’d probably come across like he was on drugs, but it wasn’t like that would be the first, second or third time the rumour would circulate in relation to him.
He knew Xiao Xingchen eyed him in consideration, but he ignored it; he didn’t have the presence of mind to survive the next two interviews and worry about what his new security agent was judging him for today.
He was much worse by the end of the second; he had been left alone a sitting room of the hotel the interview’s had been arranged at and he lowered his head into his hands, trying to even out his breathing and calm himself. His professionalism would be questioned even further if he failed to complete the last interview, or screwed up during it.
He felt the couch dip next to him, “Here” he looked up, poison on his tongue ready to be spit at Xiao Xingchen when he realised the other held out one of those large chocolate chip cookies in a napkin. There was also iced coffee sat on the table in front of him.
“Just relax, empty your head, and focus on the cookie” Xiao Xingchen informed him; raising an eyebrow as Xue Yang didn’t immediately accept the confectionery from him.
He took it with tentative thanks; and it vanished almost immediately once he’d decided to accept the gesture. Once he’d gotten the sugary coffee inside him too he felt much better.
***
Despite his trash reputation he wasn’t late for a single appointment over the next weeks; Jin Guangyao assured him it was perfectly alright to project the rebel for the masses but when you played the brat with the people in the business you’d soon be blacklisted; a risk he wasn’t willing to take with Xue Yang.
Xue Yang hadn’t managed to get near alcohol or a party in that time due to Xiao Xingchen’s hawk eyes and iron control.
Since the second morning though instead of being woken up with a bucket of water to the face or bickering the other had started showing up with a sweet pastry and a staggeringly sugary iced coffee which he traded off for Xue Yang eating better at other mealtimes.
Overall it didn’t seem Xue Yang had a moment of time where the other wasn’t somewhere close, controlling everything, keeping a watchful eye out.
And it bothered Xue Yang; he didn’t get used to the feeling of Xiao Xingchen being there like he’d been assured he would. He was still hyper aware of him, and he didn’t necessarily think it was because he was intimidated, despite the fact they’d had a few more altercations, none of which ended well for Xue Yang.
***
He tried to ditch his new security for his monthly visit to the orphanage his charity had built and ran; the less people who knew about it the better. Of course he couldn’t shake the other off so he had to attend followed by Xiao Xingchen, and explain to the children who the tall ge was. He was a great hit with them, and although Xue Yang pretended to be annoyed at Xiao Xingchen getting all the attention that the youngsters usually showered on him secretly he was entertained as he watched the other romp with the rough kids, or play softly with the quieter ones.
“This is the first time you’ve brought a bodyguard” he turned slightly at the sound of Tian Ying, the matron of the orphanage and the woman who’d helped bring him up in a similar institution when he had been a boy had come up beside him. “Are you in danger, xiao-Xue?”
“Of course not” he didn’t consider the crazy mail Jin Guangyao was filtering from him any more of a threat than any of the other mail he’d received in the last few years, and he definitely didn’t want her to worry about him, “They just decided I needed someone to carry my bags for me”
He didn’t have time to say much more as he was dragged into an impromptu game of football in the yard, where he and Xiao Xingchen were on opposite teams.
They played around half-heartedly until a Xiao Xingchen who was grace incarnate except apparently on a football pitch, stuck his foot out and took Xue Yang’s feet from under him and he tumbled. The fall itself wasn’t bad but he was a little grazed as they played on the yard and not grass.
Xiao Xingchen was unusually all apologies and personally saw to tending the grazes Xue Yang’s tumble had caused, despite his assurances he was absolutely fine. The touch of the other still made his pulse flutter in some odd emotion and the way Xiao Xingchen kept glancing up at him, like he’d discovered a rare and new species, was disconcerting. And pissed him off, because he could guess what it was about.
“Just don’t” he said through his teeth so no one around them could hear.
“Don’t what? Congratulate you on what you’ve built here? On what you’re doing for these kids?”
“Yes, don’t. I don’t want to hear it” he sucked a breath in at the sting of the antiseptic where Xiao Xingchen applied it to his grazes.
“Alright, whatever you want” Xiao Xingchen let it drop but he still looked at Xue Yang with something approaching admiration in his eyes.
And it was addictive, to have someone look at him like that, and not like he was trash. But then it had never bothered him before. Was it purely because it was Xiao Xingchen and he wanted to be more than trash in that man’s eyes?
“I guess you read too many gossip rags” Xue Yang sniped, “I’m not on drugs, in any weird cults, or a complete slut either”
Instead of bullshitting him and denying he’d thought anything of the kind Xiao Xingchen agreed instead, “I’m beginning to see that. Of course that doesn’t mean you don’t have a vile temper, that you don’t ever learn your lessons, or that you don’t sulk like a baby when I tell you no”
He was about to make one of his usual responses when the game of football moved closer and he clamped his lips closed on the curse.
There was a knowing, teasing look in the other’s eyes and as Xue Yang looked down into that finely-boned face he realised why the other’s good opinion had meant so much to him; why he was on tenterhooks whenever Xiao Xingchen was near, which was all the time at the moment, and why his pulse fluttered like his veins were full of butterflies whenever the other touched him. He was in love with Xiao Xingchen.
Well fuck.
***
Xue Yang paced around his hotel bedroom, feeling like a caged tiger. He wanted to destroy something. No, he really wanted a stiff drink.
Was he a masochist? What had made him fall in love with a man who knocked him around for fun? No of course that was unfair, Xiao Xingchen only ever restrained him and only when Xue Yang attacked first. Still, it must definitely be masochism.
Or Stockholm Syndrome; he had been at the mercy of the other, a virtual prisoner, for weeks now.
“I need a drink” he exclaimed aloud; and so he formulated a plan.
He took a quick shower and changed into something black and sexy and flashy, then he he called reception and asked for a taxi cab, and that they ring up to let him know when it had arrived.
He waited by his bedroom door, peeping through the tiniest opening for the phone to ring back; and as Xiao Xingchen got up from the couch to answer it he dashed out and past as silently as possible to give himself as much of a head-start as he could manage.
The doors of the elevator were closing just as he saw Xiao Xingchen enter the hallway and yell at him in rage.
He was in the taxi and away; his freedom all the sweeter for being carefully wrought.
***
Xue Yang was beginning to feel pleasantly buzzed and he was chatting quite happily with the guy who stood next to him at the bar of the VIP lounge. He’d been greeted by the usual crowd who hadn’t seen him around for the weeks he’d been kept prisoner, (OK maybe that was a little dramatic), but he’d never seen this guy before and new people were interesting.
Although he was beginning to get uncomfortable at how the other stared at him intently after he’d finished his drink.
He excused himself to “visit the bathroom” when life finally caught up with him. Life of course being Xiao Xingchen.
He pushed Xue Yang up against the wall of the corridor to the bathrooms, which was surprisingly currently empty.
“Hey” Xue Yang protested, although with alcohol relaxing his muscles it hadn’t really hurt as he hadn’t tensed for impact. Actually being pinned against the wall by the man you’d fallen in love with was quite nice. He had zero experience, bar some awkward kisses with a girl who’d known as little as him when he was younger, but apparently being manhandled was beginning to be something he enjoyed. Maybe because it was Xiao Xingchen though.
“I’d advise you to keep really quiet, I’m this close to spanking the living hell out of you” and really he’d never seen Xiao Xingchen’s deceptively delicate face so twisted in anger.
But of course alcohol impaired one’s judgement; to dangerous levels sometimes.
“Is that what you like?” he asked.
“What?” Xiao Xingchen was confused, his hand tightened on Xue Yang’s collar as if he suspected the other was planning something.
“Spanking, do you get off on it?”
“You really have no fucking self-preservation instincts do you?” Xiao Xingchen demanded and if Xue Yang hadn’t been so muddled due to the reaction of his body to the other, and the alcohol humming through his bloodstream he might have realised how much trouble he was in; he had never heard the other curse before in all their weeks together.
Instead he gave in to the urge pounding at the base of his brain, unable to control it anymore. He threw his arms around Xiao Xingchen’s neck and kissed him.
Well, it was clumsy and unskilled, but it probably still counted as a kiss.
He was pushed back against the wall unceremoniously, “What do you think you’re doing? You are my client. You are drunk. You are so out of line right now”
Of course he hadn’t really expected a different response. He somehow managed to pull himself free and stumbled back out into the VIP lounge.
Actually he seemed to be more drunk than he’d realised. He was suddenly barely able to control his body and he felt like his head was full of cotton wool. A hand touched his back, “Oh, you look terrible. Do you need to lie down? Should we get you out of here?” he was vaguely aware the voice wasn’t Xiao Xingchen’s, it belonged to the guy he’d been talking to at the bar, as he was guided towards the door but he really did need to lie down right now. He was about to nod his agreement when the supporting hand was violently removed.
“What the fuck did you give him?” that was Xiao Xingchen, although he couldn’t work out what the question meant. He felt the iron-grip of his security’s hand and he was pulled close to the other; he recognised the familiar scent of his aftershave and it set his mind at rest.
***
It had been days since the nightclub incident; and he’d managed to act completely clueless about the entire evening. In honesty there were huge swathes of Xue Yang’s memory that were completely blank, but he was cursed with vague recollection of him kissing Xiao Xingchen.
He wanted to die from embarrassment. He wanted to mope around at the rejection. He had to pretend like he was completely clueless about everything that happened though and let the other just write it off as a side effect of the Flunitrazepam the random guy at the nightclub had put in his drink.
He had been in touch with Jin Guangyao and begged the other to find him new security. He couldn’t carry on being around Xiao Xingchen all the time, feeling like he did, and scared to death he’d do something stupid to reveal his feelings in a way that couldn’t be pretended away like that stupid kiss.
He had faithfully promised he’d keep up the good behaviour Xiao Xingchen had bullied into him so long as Jin Guangyao replaced him with someone who wouldn’t cause Xue Yang such pain to have close.
His manager had promised to at least look into it.
Xue Yang didn’t realise he’d been wool-gathering in his head and managed to separate slightly from Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing until he saw a face in the crowd that made him uncomfortable.
He didn’t recognise the man but the fear that skittered down his spine was very real; he turned to try and get closer to Xiao Xingchen who called his name and dashed over; the flash he caught from the corner of his eye had him raising his arm in self-protection. He was dragged out of the way and thrown to the floor, catching nothing but a glancing blow as Xiao Xingchen took out the threat.
It was all very chaotic after that as the crowd helped keep the attacker captive until the police could arrive, and ambulance was also called as both he and Xiao Xingchen had taken knife wounds.
His was a cut to the arm that didn’t particularly bother him, it was the wound on Xiao Xingchen’s side that scared the life out of him. He used his folded jacket to keep pressure on the injury.
A-Qing fluttered around trying to get him to let someone else take over so they could do the same for his arm but he just waved her off; it was nothing.
“You really have no fucking self-preservation instincts” Xiao Xingchen told him in annoyance; luckily he seemed fully conscious at the moment.
“I know. I‘m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll be better from now on” he felt close to tears but fought them back brutally.
Xiao Xingchen nodded at what he said and looked into his eyes, “At least you’ll get your new bodyguard now, silver linings right?” he reached out with his left hand to thumb away one of the tears that Xue Yang hadn’t realised had escaped.
Fucking Jin Guangyao and his stupid big mouth.
“It’s for the best, xiao-Xue, in light of everything”
Which meant Xiao Xingchen was aware of his feelings and agreed the best way to deal with it was to move on. Well there went his dignity.
“You’re too precious for this cruel world in the limelight, anyway” Xue Yang tried to mock, his voice a little strangled.
“Which of us do you mean?” Xiao Xingchen asked and it was both an arrow to his heart and salve to his ego to hear such an opinion from the other.
He was glad when the paramedics had arrived and he was shuffled away to have his own wound dealt with so he could save some face. If the paramedic thought the tears were a reaction to the pain or shock of being attacked then good.
They were taken to a nearby hospital to be treated. Xue Yang’s cut needed a few stitches so he was ready to be sent away reasonably quickly, but he stayed in the waiting room until A-Qing came back to report Xiao Xingchen was fine, he’d be kept in for a few days as his would was deeper and nastier but he was stable and in no danger.
“Aren’t you going to visit before we go?” she asked, but he shook his head. And honestly she was smart enough that she probably knew what was going on and why he didn’t want to impose on the other. “Alright, lets get you back to the hotel. I think Jin Guangyao will be waiting, unfortunately, I can’t do anything to put him off this time”
Xue Yang sighed and accepted his fate.
One Month Later
The stage lights faded for the last time and he was finally able to slip offstage. He was lathered with sweat and completely exhausted. Xue Yang’s knife wound hadn’t been particularly deep or damaging but it was surprising how much it had knocked him down. He still tired out so much more easily than he was used to, but he hadn’t wanted to put this concert off, preferring to get it out of the way so he could take a holiday for a couple of weeks and use it to think about the next steps in his career, and indeed life, with nothing hanging over his head.
The man who had attacked them had been the same who had drugged his drink in the nightclub, although due to the effects Xue Yang couldn’t identify him; it had been lucky his subconscious had reacted to the man though, or it could have been so much worse.
He accepted the towel A-Qing held out for him as he met his entourage in the back stage passages and dried off, pulling on the coat she had also brought him.
There was an oddly smug look on her face and he questioned her.
“Nothing, just something funny is all” she refused to be drawn on what caused her to smile so.
They made it back to the dressing rooms and he was bundled inside.
He wondered, uncharitably, if she was on drugs.
“No rush, your car won’t be here for quite some time yet” A-Qing told him as she shut the door behind him and he turned to find his street clothes. Except he wasn’t alone.
Oh.
Suddenly he daren’t move from the doorway, not sure whether to tear it open and flee or move into the room and act like he wasn’t bothered in the slightest.
In the end he compromised, did nothing and stayed exactly where he was.
“Why are you here?” he tried to keep his voice steady, and luckily it didn’t shake too much.
“Why do you think?” Xiao Xingchen asked him.
30 notes · View notes
throughtaylor · 4 years
Text
haylor one shot bc i love haylor more than anything in my life
(back in 2012)
I could not stop laughing as we prepared for the presentation that we had in less than 10 minutes, it was our best way to clear ourselves, despite the fact that I was always nervous to go on stage, the band did everything better for all of us. I had the typical slight panic, perhaps because I thought that my voice could go away in the middle of the show or that I would fall from tripping over my own feet, that my right foot bent with the small heel of my shoes. Many things could happen, but all the tension disappeared as soon I sang the second song, in this case: Red.
Taylor! Two minutes." They screamed in the corner of the room, noticing how Caitlin put the gadgets on her ears.
"Very clever." I mused excitedly, making a group hug with my band.
I started up the stairs to get out, breathing a few times and practicing rough movements with the microphone, sighing and getting into my starting position until the platform went up and I could get out once and for all.
"And with her new album, RED, which I'm sure everyone knows is a success, ladies and gentlemen, Taylor Swift!" I heard how the presenter's voice screamed throughout the stadium.
The platform went up slowly and I noticed how the lights were off, the screams shook my heart, making me smile slightly as I adjusted my hat. I laid my body straight, listening to the State of Grace melody spreading across all the walls and seats, making the people who absolutely flooded the entire arena scream more. I smiled without being seen, raising the microphone to start singing. Nerves? Unknown word in my dictionary.
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"I'm never going to stop love singing Love Story." I giggled, dropping onto the couch as I drank from my water bottle.
"I like the rhythm of We are never ever getting back together... well, maybe because I like to see how fans dance and raise their hands with each We-e-e." My mother dared to tell me, giving a little laugh as soon as I nodded, completely agreeing with her.
Tonight's show at the music festival had been sensational. Nerves disappeared even with the first song and the audience could not be left behind, everything had turned inside me and I was again the same Taylor who loves to be on stage.
I momentarily distracted myself with my phone, reading the comments about the show, smiling and giving some likes on instagram along with a photograph of my red loafers, without any special caption. I checked my social media a little more, going to change to put on one of my black dresses hanging on the rack, sighing as soon as my hair settled into a ponytail, combing my bangs a few times and applying the red lipstick that was on my handbag. I was tired, but excited.
The beige leather wallet landed on my forearm, walking out of my dressing room, saying goodbye to my family and friends, thanking them again for the great show we took care of tonight.
I made my way to one of the white doors in the pale hallway, daring to pull out my phone to send a message. However, a large hand prevented that from happening, immediately catching my attention.
I smiled at once as soon as I could see the sparkle in his green eyes and his cute curls, throwing myself immediately into his arms.
"Harry." I greeted his neck, feeling his tighten more tightly on into his body.
"Great show, babe" He congratulated, pulling me away a little and keeping his hand on my waist.
"Thanks, I thought you would show up today too." I commented doubtful and a little nervous about his presence. My heart turned when I heard him laugh, seeing the innocent smile stay in line with his smile.
"I think it will be our turn next week, I am not so sure." He almost joked, making me laugh. It was then that I noticed that he was also nervous.
"And... so?" I almost laughed, thanking the heels of my loafers for a better look.
"Let's go." A warm kiss fell on my cheek, heading us towards the back of the stadium to get out.
There were only a couple of security guards and the cleaning ladies, the night in New York was cold, with no winter yet. Luckily, there was no paparazzi or at least that's what I wanted to believe. Harry kindly opened the door of his truck for me and I gladly entered it, closing the door in step.
Harry and I had been dating for a couple of months. We became friends in Los Angeles and from there we decided to have a more pleasant contact with friends, but the things began to appear differently. Until now, we had not shown ourselves together as a couple, we both knew how difficult it would be for him and me, in some way, the comments were sometimes too cruel and the relationship we had, until now, was very calm... a lot, to want to expose ourselves. Harry is a sweet, attentive and very gentlemanly man, he is always looking after me in a good way, asking me every day how I am and wishing me good luck in the shows I have had to present. It has been a sensational support and I silently told him how lucky I was to have him by my side.
"And how are you, babe?" He asked while he started driving into the streets of New York, taking my hand with a cute smile.
“I’m great. I’m very excited for the upcoming shows we have. We have already started with the Red Tour rehearsals. ” I announced happy. He looked at me happily, smiling broadly at me.
"That sounds great, I look forward to free tickets to every concert!" He joked.
"Of course." I chuckled, looking at his profile. "And how are you, love?"
"Very well, we have also had some rehearsals outside of New York, I think we will have to travel to London soon to see the stadium of the tour." He commented.
"Niall was talking to me about that." I replied thoughtfully, remembering my messages exchanged with the blonde who made me laugh more than five times for just one message.
“Talking to Niall, huh? He even tells you the good news before me.” He pretended to take offense, glaring at me under his eyelashes.
"Never!" I reproached, laughing in my seat.
I couldn't explain it but there was such a great chemistry and connection between us that… I even managed to feel it. I really like him. I don’t care about the way of life that we both led, despite a little fear that it would be a problem later, but I know that it was not going to be a pebble on our way; It was what stopped me the most to think.
"Taylor?" I heard his voice next to me. I turned right away, tilting my head to continue talking. He smiled. "We're here, I think I told you twice."
I blushed, brushing the bangs away from my eyes a little while muttering an apology, taking the black bag in my hands to hang it on my shoulder.
"You look absolutely gorgeous when you blush." I heard him say.
I got out of the car with a smile, watching the porch of his house cautiously, waiting for him to get out as well and we could continue on our way. I felt the explosion of feelings run through me as his hand reached for mine quickly, intertwining our fingers. I still wasn't used to it, I didn't deny it either, but I loved that kind of gesture. I mentally measured his hand with mine, as it was quite wide and the palm of his hand took almost all my long fingers. I laughed in my head, letting out a smile at the thought.
I waited for him to open the door, greeting me with a gesture in the space of his home, looking around with great caution. Harry was a very simple person, not conceited or money-loving, even though he knew he was someone who received a lot, since he was also in the position of young people rather than millionaires in magazines. But his house did not say that. The walls were simple and the decorations too, but it was quite spacious, reminding me of a house in Rhode Island.
"Do you want something to drink, babe, hm?" He brushed his index finger across my left arm, circling my waist from behind, hugging me. I smiled at the gesture, squeezing my hands in his, letting myself be inundated by his usual scent and the unmistakable tickle of his curls on my cheek.
"Right now I'm fine..." I whispered, concentrating on the way he danced with me without some kind of music, humming slowly in my ear, as if he were thinking of other things, concerning me.
"You know, today is our third month together, darling.” He said, lighting up a click in my head.
I blushed, not knowing it, because I had let the small detail pass, being more than sure that it was tomorrow. Without thinking twice, I turned to him, watching the playful smile on his mouth. He knew that I didn’t remember.
"You confused me!" I exclaimed in reproach, hitting him lightly on the chest in the form of a game, accepting the laughing hug he offered me.
"You had to see your face." He commented, laughing.
Smiling and happy, my lips approached into his lips, enveloping us in a colorful and loving kiss. I felt my heart race as soon as I felt the small smile in the middle of the kiss, ending up giving me small, splashed kisses on the top of my lips, hugging me around the waist as I approached him. My blue eyes were lost in his green orbs, brushing our noses as our lips shared breath and space. It made me jump inside. I loved him intensely.
"You should have this." He broke into silence. Curious, I waited for him to continue.
It was then that the paper airplane necklace that he never took off slipped, suddenly hanging it around my neck, and it stayed down, contrasting with the color of my dress. I admired him for a few seconds, raising my head to meet his big eyes and shy smile, waiting for me to say something.
"We can become two paper airplanes." I whispered to him, feeling his hands once again rest on my waist. "Thank you my love. I love it. And I love it more that it's yours, that you want to leave it for me. ” I thanked him in sincere words, kissing him one last time.
"Two paper airplanes that fly, together." Harry completed my sentence.
"I love you." I confessed.
"I love you so much, babe" He says.
My favorite moment became the instant he pushed all the furniture aside, giving us space to take off our shoes, taking our bodies and dancing, with light songs playing from the kitchen. Our lips joined in loving kisses, our noses brushed and I closed my eyes, entering his soul and wanting to know what he felt, although just being like this, here, with me, he told me more than a thousand words.
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peachymhaechan · 5 years
Text
“Trust me, it isn’t just for the camera.”
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Genre: fluff, babey !! nothin like a good ol idol au, am I rite, laid ease??
Warnings: bad words (like everything else I've written ever lol)
Pairing: Taeyong X female idol reader
A/N: junior year is almost over, thank god. I am so tired. writing this was such a good break from studying for my ap exams and cramming for finals. thank u, Taeyong. also, im working on something for the superhuman comeback, stay tuned, yall :)
you had been a model for sm for a few years now
well within your first year you had gained so much popularity that you became the company’s most hired model and had received a nickname from your employers and fans
you were their Golden Girl (hhhhhffk listen,,, we been knew I ain’t creative), and everyone was dying to work with their Golden Girl
most notable for your bubbly personality and striking looks, every employer was fascinated by your ability to pull off any look 
very similar is lee Taeyong, another artist signed to your company
with his stark beauty, it was no understatement to say that you would not have minded working with someone as pretty as him
so, when your manager told you about an upcoming project where you’d be working with Taeyong and a few of the other nct boys you were #sh00k to say the least
“wait..... WHAT?!” was all you could say in response to your manager telling you the good news
“Yeah, I know. I know how long you’ve wanted to work with him. Well, get ready. For this photoshoot they need you to have bubblegum pink hair, and.....” 
for the next few days, you tried to mentally prepare yourself for what was about to happen
yeah, you guys were signed to the same company but that doesn't mean you saw him all the time
you had only seen him once, and that was when you had just become a trainee and were walking through the halls to try and find the recording studio on the third floor
you accidentally went into the dance studio and found yourself interrupting a dance practice for nct u
“Sorry, I have to find someone in the recording studio, where-” 
“You’re fine, don't worry about it! If you go out this hallway, make the next left turn and it should be the second door on the right,” Taeyong said, giving you a small smile 
that was the ONLY interaction you had with him, but boy even when covered in sweat was he gorgeous
and you got to WORK WITH THAT 
the day finally came where you got to work with him yayayay
you woke up at 4 am after having only 1 hour of sleep, thriving
you got up and took a quick shower, did your skincare routine, and changed into comfy clothes for the day
on your way to meeting your manager you grabbed a few coffees for the staff as a thank you for the opportunity
you met your manager at the company building and it started to hit that 
//ohmygod this is really about to happen//
your manager tried her best to calm your nerves but damn, you were not having any of that
scrolling through Instagram, you anxiously awaited the company van that would take you to the photoshoot set
when it pulled up after about twenty minutes of waiting, you and your crew piled in and then you heard your manager tell the driver to hold the van for a few more minutes, seeing as Taeyong and his people were running a little behind
that only made your heart beat even faster
hgjaonfnwnw anxious from waiting, you just wanted to get it over with and rip it off like a bandaid
five minutes later, you saw three people walking over to the van
one of which was wearing sweats, sneakers, a hoodie, and a mask
you automatically recognized who that was despite the baggy clothing and half hidden face
oh fuck oh shit
one of the other two men talked to your manager, who had gotten out to speak to taeyong’s manager and the other person there
Taeyong climbed into the van and made eye contact with you in the back row, spotting the empty seat beside you
“Is this seat taken?” he asked, nodding to the spot right next to you
you felt a blush creep into your cheeks and your throat started getting closed up from nerves
so all you could do was shake your head no
he sat down and gave you a small smile, then started yawning and stretching out his arms
you had one extra coffee left from earlier and you figured it’d be a great ice breaker maybe 
“I have an extra coffee from a coffee run I went on earlier, do you want it? It’s not super hot or anything, but its still a little warm, and its caffeine,” you said and his eyes immediately lit up
“Oh, yes please!!” 
you grabbed the last cup from the drink carrier and gave it to him, and he thanked you right away
“How did you have enough time to go on a coffee run this morning?” Taeyong asked in shock
“I got up at four and am running on one hour of sleep,” you explained, not even trying to seem like you have it together
that's what its like being a hot mess, babey !!1
“That’s not good, you need to get more sleep. Were you out late last night with your schedule or something?” 
concerned mom? yes
“I was out until about eleven pm, yeah, but in all honesty... I couldn’t sleep because I was very nervous to meet you.” 
bro you need to get some sleep and get your filter back in place
bc when you get no sleep?? a bitch has NO filter whatsoever
Taeyong was genuinely surprised that you were nervous to meet him
“Really?? You were nervous to meet me?? Why, am I really that scary or something??” 
“Its not that you’re scary, exactly, but... I have wanted to work with you for a very long time, and it still hasn’t fully set in that this is my reality.” 
he nodded after you spoke, and it seemed to both impress and confuse him
no matter how popular him and his group got, he never got used to having people look up to him
and to hear it from someone as successful as you, someone he has constantly seen in the media for so long?? mind boggling
it kind of made him nervous tbh
before he could reply, the managers and everyone piled in and the van started moving to the photoshoot set
as soon as you guys left the company building, your head leaned onto the window and you passed tf out
when you woke up, Taeyong was tapping you on the shoulder and telling you that yall got to the set finally
taeyong’s face greeting you when you woke up? shocking, but not an unwelcome sight
“Alright, we need to get you guys into hair and makeup, then we will send you both over to wardrobe and they'll make any last minute touchups and then you can get to work. Sound good?” your manager told you two, and when you both nodded, she immediately directed you to the makeup studio
your artists were very excited to work with you, which made everything much more pleasant
“The feel we are going for with this shoot will perfectly fit your aesthetic and your features, I’m so excited!!” and “You’re naturally this pretty? And after only one hour of sleep? Oh my god, my under eye bags are permanent and it looks like you don’t have any at all!” or the occasional “I wish I could be as stunning as you without even trying...” 
it sounded like Taeyong was going through the same thing, as you could hear some of the other makeup artists gushing about his sharp features
“Wow, your eyes are so beautiful!” and “Your smile is stunning!” and “I wish I was half as pretty as you are!” 
you could tell it made him a bit uncomfortable because he sat there with a :} face 
(unrelated but: that face looks like the grinch lowkey, ok sorry for interrupting lol, back to the fic)
you two made eye contact in the mirror and you could practically read his mind
I want this to stop, they’re making me uncomfortable, oh my god. 
to which your eyes said, Same here, and I am used to dealing with this on a daily basis.  
luckily, they finished putting shadows and liner on your eyelids, and then they sent you to the hair department
for hair, they teased and curled your hair, giving you a tired and just woken up look
well, a styled just woken up kind of look
Taeyong came in halfway through your hair and all they had to do for him was throw some gel in his and make it a little messy and he was good to go
by the time you made it to wardrobe Taeyong was already on set and getting individual pictures for the concept
they threw you in clothes, and by clothes you mean a men’s oversized white button up, short shorts, and a bright red bra
and before you could even leave to head to the set, they made sure that the first few buttons were undone on the shirt
to say you felt a lil bit exposed and cold was an understatement
the second he saw you, Taeyong had a glint in his eye and he couldn't stop staring at you
naturally, that made you blush and get really self conscious
?? wot
“Hello, I am your photographer for the day. This shoot is supposed to be sort of a couple, romantic fashion shoot, so I hope you two know each other very well and are comfortable with being close to one another. Do you two have any issues with that?”  
you both looked at each other, 
and then lee Taeyong, 
while staring dead in your eyes, 
said
“No, sounds perfect!” 
bitch
what the fuck was that supposed to mean ?! 
“sounds perfect” uhhhhhhhhhhh lemme get a mcfuckin explanation 
he gave you a small smile before you managed to get out, “No issues here.” 
that only made him smile more
njsdncvcaehcfabcafcb bitch!! you were whipped for him already
“Great! Let’s get started, then. Y/N, I will have you stand over here, and...” 
let’s just say that the photographer had you two start with basic stuff, like you two standing next to one another with Taeyong putting his hand on your shoulder and things like that
it quickly escalated though, and he had you doing things like laying your legs across his lap and running your hands through his hair
“Sorry if this is a little too intimate for you,” you whispered into his ear during another shot, where you were draped over his sitting form and your hand caressed his cheek
“Don’t apologize, it’s not. If anything, I’m a little flustered to have someone as pretty as you staring at me the way you are, Y/N, even if it is just for the camera,” he told you, shifting so that you were turned with your back to the camera and chest flush to his, your hands delicately placed on his upper arms, his hand resting on your lower back and you staring up at him
faintly you could hear the photographer say,  “THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE ONE!”
“Trust me, it isn’t just for the camera,” you mumbled, not able to filter yourself due to sleep deprivation
you thought he didn’t hear you, but then a smirk formed on his face and you knew you #fucked up
the end of the shoot was arriving, and there were a few more pictures the photographer had in mind, but he wanted to let you guys do your own thing and see where it ended up
“You guys can do what you want for these next few pictures, just do what feels naturally and I’ll angle it well.” very encouraging, right
making use of the pieces of furniture on the set, you decided to lay on the bright red couch and Taeyong looked down at you from behind it
“I couldn’t hear what you said earlier, can you say it again please?” he asked, trying to fish a confession out of you
Oh, Mr. Lee Taeyong, it won’t be that easy. 
“Hmmm, what do you mean?” you asked, purposefully trying to be as close to him as you could, so you sat on your hips to the side more and pulled him down so your hand rested on his cheek and your face was //right there, you could feel his breath on your lips//
(the photographer would have fainted there if he could get away with technical time theft while on the job)
taeyong’s breath hitched and a blush crept onto his cheeks and you knew you got him
ladies and gentlemen.... we got ‘im
even still, he tried to get it out of you
“Well, I thought I heard you say something under your breath before the photographer spoke to us,” he coyly explained, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap
at that point it became a game of who could get the other to blush more
and lemme just say, mama didn’t raise no lil bitch, so you were NOT about to lose
grabbing both sides of his face in your small hands, you leaned in and whispered, “I hope it’s okay that I’m going to kiss you now.” 
his eyes went wide, and then he said, “MORE than okay.” 
and the next thing you know, your lips were planted on his and the photographer was sobbing genuine tears
“THIS IS PEAK PROFESSIONALISM, OH MY GOD, IT’S BEEN YEARS SINCE I’VE WORKED WITH MODELS AS GOOD AS YOU TWO, OH MY, THIS IS THE SHOT THAT WILL MAKE IT BIG, I’M-” 
of course his enthusiasm made you start giggling, and you could feel Taeyong smiling into the kiss
when you two broke apart you leaned your forehead on his and stared into his eyes
“I think we both know what I said earlier,” you told him, throwing your arms around his neck
“Good, because I hope we are both on the same page,” he said, smirking slightly
“And that is?” 
and all he did in response was kiss you again, but this time not smiling from the photographer’ s goofy remarks
the photographer gave the okay after he got that shot and told you two that he wish he’d gotten to work with you sooner
the ironic thing here is that you and Taeyong wished the same thing
you headed back to the dressing rooms, hand in hand, getting stares from the staff but not caring much
or at all, really
#bad bitch club: RISE
“I hope you know that as soon as those pictures get released, people will assume we are dating, right?” you said, wiping the makeup off and combing through your hair
you quickly ducked into changing room, throwing on the clothes you were wearing when you arrived
you heard him chuckle from the other little makeshift room
you exited your changing room and found him waiting for you
“Why let them assume when we could tell them the truth ourselves?” 
and somehow, despite the crazy hectic schedules you both had, 
and all the crazy ups and downs of being in the public spotlight,
a few months later, when the magazine finally hit the shelves and the cover image was you two kissing each other and looking like the happiest couple in the world,
when you got invited to an interview to discuss the inspiration for the images and the experience of working with each other, 
you two walked in hand in hand, smiling brightly and looking like your average couple that was in love
and when asked if you two were dating, 
you replied, “Yes, and it has been the best few months of my life so far.” 
:) uwu
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sunriseskog · 5 years
Text
comethru- Auston Matthews
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Request: n/a this was entirely self induglent bc im sad and ive had comethru by Jermey Zucker stuck in my head for weeks
Word Count: 2,267
Warnings: cursing, angst, dudes being assholes, mentions of tr*ding auston
A/N: ive been on hiatus for a long ass time so any feedback is more than welcome!!!! also i am fully aware that i used this gift for my last post but its hot and i dont care
It had been a little over a month since Auston left. No… that’s not quite right. It had been a little over a month since Auston left Toronto. It had been just barely under a month since you had left Auston.
You weren’t entirely sure who the trade surprised more, but you did know for a fact that it had had a far greater effect on you than it had on Auston.
He had remained optimistic in the beginning. After all, Buffalo is barely a 2-hour drive on a bad day. On a good day, he could probably make it in an hour and a half. But the two of you had quickly reached the conclusion that either of you driving 4+ hours a day wasn’t practical, and it wasn’t fair to whoever drew the short end of the stick, pun intended. You knew he would never ask you to move for him, hell even moving in together had been a stretch for you, but you also knew that there was an unspoken expectation that eventually the both of you would relocate closer to the arena.
Before he had even reached the border, you had managed to convince yourself that this short distance relationship would cripple your relationship before you could even begin filling out the US immigration forms to move with him, let alone actually convince yourself to do it. So you backed off. You knew that trying to exhaust what was left of the relationship would only end up destroying you the both of you more than was necessary, so you let go. You knew it wouldn’t take him long to pick up on the fact that you were becoming distant, taking longer to respond to texts, barely calling him back and conveniently timing your responses with the specific intention of him not being able to pick up. You may have been stupid, but you sure as hell weren’t subtle. You knew that as long you were the bad guy in the scenario, it wouldn’t take him nearly as long to get over you, and as long as you remained in control of the situation, you knew that you’d come out of the tail end of things perfectly fine.
And you were. You were absolutely, positively fine. But that was all you were. You weren’t good or great or doing well, you were just… fine. You were off-kilter, sure, but you were surviving, and that was honestly all you had come to ask of yourself. You were sure that the other shoe would drop soon enough, you had ridden the high and now you were at the plateau, but the comedown seemed to always be lurking around the corner.
One too many sleepless nights in a row had come to significantly impact your sleeping schedule. It had gotten to the point where your boss had come to expect your work day to end at 5 am instead of 5 pm. It was nice, though. To see the city when it felt like no one else could. To have your whole day to yourself, even though it was technically night. Everything was much quieter, and there were moments where it felt like you might be the only person in the entire city to be awake, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You rarely interacted with anyone, you didn’t even wake up until hours after the last of your coworkers had left the building, and every errand you had to run could be completed via the self-checkout of the 24 hr supermarket a few blocks away from your apartment building. You weren’t lonely by any means, you just so happened to be alone.
Except on game nights. You were never alone on game nights. Luckily, there weren’t very many Toronto residents that enjoyed watching one of their franchise players play in a different teams jersey, but you still couldn’t help but punish yourself by watching his games whenever they were on at the sports bar you frequented. You told yourself that as long as someone else put the game on, and as long as you left with someone new before the game was over, then it wasn’t nearly as pathetic as it seemed.
An issue arose the first time Toronto played the Sabres. You hadn’t checked the schedule, you just knew that there was a game. You also knew that if you were ever alone when a game was on you would curl up with far too much ice cream and a borderline dangerous amount of rum, neither of which were ideal. Immediately upon entering the bar, you knew that it was far too crowded for there to not be a Leafs game on, it was nowhere near baseball season, and the sea of blue jerseys couldn’t be for any other team. An involuntary wince consumed your face as Auston’s name reached your ears, it seemed like every congregation of fans in the entire establishment were talking about him, and a cursory glance at the nearest screen confirmed your fears.
The bad news was that if you stayed, you would have to watch Auston play, which was bound to be painful for any Leafs fan, but this one would hurt you just a little more than all the others— the knowledge that he was just across the city weighed heavily on your shoulders as you pushed through the crowd to find an empty stool somewhere. The worse news was that there was no way in hell a single guy in here would be willing to leave before the game was over, so you’d either have to watch all of it and then fuck the feelings away, or go home and watch all of it and probably end up crying for a majority of the third period. The former seemed like a more viable option at the time.
Now, though? You wished you had just gone home. Because it turns out you were wrong, there was a dude at the bar who was willing to leave before the end, as it would turn out, he was ready to leave before the second period was halfway through. That should have been your first red flag.
In your defense, you had a lot of other shit going on, and your brain was far too preoccupied coping with the stress that the game was bringing to consider the fact that the nice guy who had been paying for your drinks might not turn out to be that nice after all.
On the cab ride back to your apartment, you found out that his name was Sam and he was a lifelong Leafs fan. The two of you bonded over having grown up around hockey without actually playing it, and you even shared a cigarette at the entrance of your building’s lobby. It wasn’t until the two of you stepped into your living room that things took a turn for the worse.
The framed and signed Matthews jersey on the mantle had been more of a joke than anything else, all of your friends thought it was funny while the two of you were together, and you hadn’t had anyone over since the breakup, so you hadn’t found a reason to convince yourself to take it down. The look of disgust on Sam’s face as soon as he laid eyes on it would have been a fairly convincing reason if you actually gave a shit what he thought about you.
“That’s borderline sacrilege,” he commented, gesturing towards the display. You shot him an incredulous look, waiting for him to give any indication that he was making a joke.
“What?” You questioned, not really confused, just wanting to clarify if he was saying. What you thought he was saying.
“You can’t seriously call yourself a leafs fan and still support that guy! He’s a traitor,” He asserted. His over passionate gesturing indicated that he was genuinely this invested in the topic, which should have been your second red flag.
“I mean c’mon, (Y/N),” He continued. “You’re not stupid, are you?”
You couldn’t help but scoff at how pretentious and condescending he was being, without seeming to realize that he was acting like an absolute prick.
“I can assure you, Samuel,” You drawled sarcastically. “I am anything but stupid, but you have got to be absolutely moronic if you genuinely believe that I’m going to let you fuck me after speaking to me like I'm a goddamn child. Your kinks are your business but that's not really my style,” you sneered as you moved towards the doorway in order to invite him to throw himself out so you didn’t have to bother touching him any more than you already had.
“Now why don’t you get the fuck out of my house, dick head,” You spoke as your lip curled and your brow quirked, gesturing through the doorway to drive the point through his thick skull.
“Gladly,” He scoffed, slamming his shoulder into yours as he stepped past you. “Not like I’d want to fuck a whore like you anyways!” He shouted over his should as he started towards the stairs.
“Open your mouth that wide again and I’m gonna have to ask you to chortle my cock, Samuel” You responded, giving a middle finger to his back for your own satisfaction. You had never been one to censor your insults, and over the years they had become more and more lewd. This, of course, had never really presented itself as a problem until you caught the eye of your neighbor as you turned to storm back inside of your apartment. You couldn’t help but wince apologetically at the old woman, giving her a repentant head nod as you shuffled back inside.
You let your back hit the inside of the door, sliding roughly down until your tailbone hit the hardwood floor beneath your feet. Of course, the first substantial interaction you had in over a month would turn out to be a spectacular disaster. And of course, it was because of Auston. Realistically, you knew it wasn’t his fault, you just really really needed someone else to blame right now. You carded your fingers through your scalp roughly, and let out an elongated groan in the hopes that it would satisfy the overwhelming urge that you had had to scream at the top of your lungs for the past month or so.
As you stared at your own intertwined fingers in an attempt to calm yourself down, you couldn’t help but notice that your fingers were shaking. This wasn’t a recent development by any means, but this was the first time that you had noticed it being this aggressive. It usually only happened when you had coffee, which was why you had abstained from it for a majority of your life. As you looked back on what your routine had become, you realized that through all the late nights and later mornings, you had been popping caffeine pills and ordering espressos far more than the ‘one-time thing’ you told yourself it was. The realization that your life had done a complete 180 in the span of 5 weeks began to weigh on you, and it seemed like your mind was consumed entirely by flurries of memories of bad habits you had fallen back into and the lifeless moments you had spent floundering, convincing yourself that you were fine on your own, despite the fact that that was anything but the truth.
It didn’t take very long to find his contact picture in your recent messages. You hadn’t had much of a reason to talk to that many people lately. It took longer to open up the message thread, trying to prepare yourself to view the unbearably awkward finality of your most recent messages to each other. The preview underneath his name only served as a painful reminder that the last time he had texted you was to say that he loved you. And you hadn’t said it back.
You weren’t sure if he was going to respond, hell you went sure he was even going to read it. For all you knew it was entirely within the realm of possibility that he had blocked you a while ago. You knew exactly what to say, surprisingly, that wasn’t the hard part. Of the few letters that you typed, the closer you got to reaching out to him again seemed to calm you down more and more. By the time you tacked on the question mark at the end, your fingers had stopped trembling for there first time in what you could assume had been at least a couple of weeks. You let your phone drop to the floor as soon as you hit send, either he would be here within the hour or his response wouldn’t be worth reading. Those were the only options on the table. Either he was going to come and the two of you were going to get to be okay for a little while, or it truly was the end. If that was the case then you really didn’t want to see what he had to say. You heard your phone vibrate from where it laid just a couple feet away, and as much as the desire consumed you, you couldn’t bring yourself to move to see what it said. So you sat there, and waited to see if you would be able to hear those oh so familiar footsteps ascending your staircase again, responding to your oh so familiar request.
‘come thru?’
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catboythanatos · 5 years
Text
hello i am HERE for cecilos week... ive had a helluva day so everyone say thank you last week me for writing most of this bc i could not have written anything today omg. im SO excited to do this prompt week and to see all of the great content everyone’s gonna make!!!!
Day 1: Fashion/Science!
Cecil Palmer was … an interesting character. Carlos had only been in Night Vale for about a week now, and he was avoiding the radio host like the plague. The embarrassment and surprise of hearing his name on the radio so much had scared him away, and while he was a little intrigued, he would just rather avoid that problem entirely until Cecil inevitably forgot about him and moved on.
He had only formally met Cecil once, and he had been in the middle of some ... very important science at the time. Carlos would probably describe Cecil as a man who was not tall nor short, not thin nor fat, but that's about as far as he could go, since he did not make eye contact once during their entire encounter, out of the nervousness of never knowing which eye to look at, which was heightened by the fact that Cecil seemed to have three.
The day of that encounter, he was teased by all of his coworkers when they heard about it on the radio, and he had not gone back to the radio station since.
But of course, you can only successfully avoid someone for so long…
Out at the Ralph's buying groceries, something caught Carlos’ eye. It wasn't polite or proper to stare, so Carlos refrained, but he glanced down the aisle a few times to catch glimpses.
The person was facing away from Carlos and into the aisle. The outfit they were wearing was eye-catching in almost every way imaginable. Their shirt, a red crop-top, had long, semi-transparent bell sleeves that stretched down almost to the floor, and their pants were a shiny metallic silver. From these two things alone, Carlos was given the impression of some sort of avant garde fashionista, but then there was more. To top the whole outfit off, they were wearing lime green crocs. Now, Carlos didn't know enough about fashion to really make any assumptions, but it certainly caught his eye, to say the least.
The person turned, and he quickly turned back at the macaroni and cheese on the shelf in front of him so he wouldn't be caught looking. He didn't realize that the person was walking towards him until he heard:
“Carlos! Hey!”
Carlos looked up, and was surprised as he met Cecil's eyes.
“O-oh,” he said. “Hi.”
“You shop here? Wow, that's so crazy, right?”
Carlos ignored the fact that this was the only grocery store in Night Vale, and the fact that Cecil was being awkward. He found himself staring at Cecil's exposed midriff.
“Carlos?”
“Uhm. Yeah.”
“How are you settling in?” Cecil shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and his wispy sleeves swayed across the floor.
“Fine,” said Carlos. “Um… It’s good. Everything is… good. You know, science… and whatnot.”
“I'm glad to hear it. Anyway, I, um, should finish on with my grocery shop here, and leave you to yours.”
Carlos nodded, turning to the mac n’ cheese again, wishing he was wearing a lighter jacket. It was hot in the Ralph's today.
“I do need some macaroni, though.”
Cecil reached for a box at the same time as Carlos did, and their fingers brushed up against each other. They each pulled away, laughing awkwardly.
“I’m sorry--”
“I--”
“No, you go ahead.”
Carlos didn't move. He looked from Cecil's hand, up to his face. His breath caught in his throat.
“Sure,” he choked finally, grabbing the box off the shelf without looking and dropping it into his cart. “Thanks.”
---
After that second encounter, Carlos was only more determined to avoid Cecil. Well, truthfully, he wanted to spend more time with him, but he was getting feelings he didn't know how to react to and thought it would be easier to pretend that he didn't exist. Of course, listening to Cecil detail their interaction over the radio certainly didn't help.
He was lucky to have been in the car, by himself at the time of hearing the broadcast, because his fellow scientists would definitely have teased him, both for the way he acted and the way Cecil talked about him.
The next time Carlos saw Cecil, he was wearing a polka-dotted button-up tucked into a high-waisted skirt, and the fuzziest looking jacket Carlos had ever seen. He wore round, purple sunglasses, which had a third lense that covered his forehead. Previously, Carlos had been sure that the eye on Cecil's head was just a tattoo or something, but this was mildly disturbing evidence to the contrary. Or he was just very committed to the aesthetic, which did not seem unlikely, given the rest of his outfit choices.
“Hi, Carlos!”
“Cecil, hi!”
Despite not wanting eye contact before, Carlos felt mildly intimidated suddenly that he wasn't able to see Cecil's eyes. It made him feel vulnerable, for some reason. It was Cecil's outfit in general that probably intimidated him, though.
Carlos looked down to the sand-strewn pavement beneath their feet. Cecil wore knee-high black boots with a heel too high for Carlos to even imagine walking in. It definitely made him appear tall, which normally, he was not.
“How's … science? Have you found anything particularly scientific recently?”
Carlos took a small breath and allowed himself to detach from the situation. Science was something he could always talk about, no matter the circumstance or situation.
“Lots of things,” said Carlos. “...Almost everything, actually. Your town is… incredible.”
Cecil laughed, and Carlos looked up to see him blushing, and also sweating. A lot.
Carlos was sweating too. He wasn't sure if it was for the same reason.
“Everything here is… strange,” Carlos continued. “And beautiful.”
Cecil’s breath audibly caught in his throat. Carlos realized what he had done a little bit too late to stop it.
“What kinds of things?”
Carlos was glad that he couldn't see Cecil's eyes at that moment, because he would definitely not have been able to handle the eye contact.
“E-everything.” He faltered. “Science things, I mean. Like, um, the materials. And the sunsets being out of time. And loud? The sunsets are also loud.”
“They can be quite loud,” Cecil agreed. “The materials, though. You mean the materials you found in my studio?”
Carlos blanched. There hadn't really been any materials. He had been there to meet Cecil that day, and he had gotten flustered and grasped at straws for an excuse. “Um… Yes…?”
“Did you learn anything new about them?”
Carlos shook his head. “N...no.”
Cecil scratched an itch on his leg, and his hand left an imprint on his velvet skirt. Carlos stared at it. “No…” he repeated absentmindedly. “I'll, um, I'll tell you if I find anything new,” he said, promptly fleeing.
Carlos wasn't sure if it was him, or Cecil, or what, but something about Cecil was overwhelming in an unprecedented way. He would never judge someone on what they wore, or their appearance, but something about Cecil and his outfits were just… distracting. He considered himself too busy with work to unpack the reasons and feelings behind that for a long time. An entire year, actually. Apart from chance encounters here and there, he would not see Cecil without strictly and explicitly stating scientific reasons. Not that he didn't appreciate Cecil's affections… he just didn't know how to deal with them. Luckily, that only lasted a year, and it only took one near death experience to open up his eyes.
On their first date, Carlos selected one of his most stylish lab coats, in an attempt to impress Cecil with his fashion sense. Cecil had looked so dashing in his tunic and furry pants.
Carlos later learned that avant garde high fashion was not exactly Cecil's grand inspiration. He was a lot lazier with how he dressed than Carlos had imagined. Sometimes he would even sleep in one of his over-the-top outfits and wear it again the next day. He did consider himself ‘spared from the sphere’ (a notion which terrified Carlos greatly) but he wore mostly whatever he found comfortable and suiting for the day. He didn't even own a mirror, which initially struck Carlos as peculiar. This wasn't to say that he put no effort in, of course not -- he definitely went over the top for aesthetic purposes frequently. But he didn't own a mirror. He just sort of looked down at his outfit and decided, ‘sure, this works.’ Or maybe he didn't even look at all. It fascinated Carlos -- who typically spent a lot of time fussing with his hair and clothing in the mirror every morning. Many things about Cecil fascinated Carlos. But his fashion sense… Carlos had different feelings towards it than just fascination.
Night Vale was incredibly scientifically fascinating, but Carlos’ interest in their fashion wasn't really scientific. It was one part awe and two parts envy. Carlos envied Cecil. He tended to dress in ‘scientific casual’, as he called it, but he had more of an affinity for fashion than he let on…. But he had never been able to express himself that way in the outside world. He already got made fun of enough for having pierced ears… he wouldn’t dare venture into clothing items considered ‘feminine’ by the world. In Night Vale, though… no one judged. Everyone was accepting. It still took him quite a while to build up the courage, to stop hiding behind the comfort of his jeans and flannel shirts and lab coats, but he eventually brought it up to Cecil, a few weeks into their relationship. Cecil was understanding, and more than happy to help.
The first time he went clothes shopping with Cecil, Carlos almost started crying right in the middle of the store. Crop tops, skirts, sequins, glitter, tights, stilettos -- anything you could dream of -- and it was all unisex. There were dresses made for men and dresses made for women. He could wear whatever the hell he wanted and nobody would question him. No one would shout expletives at him in the streets, no one would misgender him, he had no family here to judge him... Cecil, despite his total sense of normalcy with all of this, seemed to understand perfectly. He threaded his fingers through Carlos' at his side, and softly asked: “Anything you wanna try on?”
Carlos’ eyes gleamed. “So many things.”
---
When he walked into the lab for the first time in a dress, he was greeted with the first catcall he had heard in quite a while.
Carlos felt a little embarrassed, but he didnt feel threatened by wolf whistles coming from his coworkers.
“Damn, boss!”
He laughed. “Got it, Nils, I’m hot. But I'm here to do my job -- be professional. I'm also,” he said pointedly, snatching his lab coat and goggles off the desk, “taken.”
Nilanjana whooped. Another scientist rolled his eyes. “Trust me, we all listen to the radio. We know.”
Carlos didn't know what to say, so he just winked at them, giving a little twirl of his dress. Nilanjana shot him a smile. “On a serious note, though,” she whispered, “I'm glad to see you embracing Night Vale fashion. It suits you.”
Carlos looked down at the dress, grinning. He thought so too.
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slutforemunson · 5 years
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Lotto - Chapter 14 (EXO-Mafia!AU)
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A/N: It has been a while since I published a chapter bc of school and lack of inspiration so I decided to make it a bit longer than normal. I hope you'll enjoy it :)
Your P.O.V.
I woke up in a brightly lightened room. Then it hit me. I'm part of EXO now... Someone knocked on the door and I sat up in bed. 'Yeah?' I said, sleep still present in my voice since I just woke up. The door opened, and Yixing stood in the door opening, 'Breakfast in 10 minutes, don't be late.' he said with a small smile. 'Okay, I'll be down in a few minutes.' I smiled back, and he left me alone to get changed. I put on some comfy clothes and went downstairs.
When I entered the big dining room, I noticed that everyone was already there. 'Goodmorning, Y/N~' Baekhyun said gleefully. The other guys nodded my way and continued eating and talking.
'Ah, Y/N, can you come with me please?' Suho asked, and Chanyeols head turned his way. 'Sure.' I followed Suho but not without locking eyes with Chanyeol. He quickly looked down at his breakfast as if nothing had happened.
'I know we hit it off on a rough patch, but now that you're part of EXO you're family, and I'll treat you with respect.' I nodded 'Ah you must want to know how your days will go from now on!' he asked. 'Yeah, I do actually.' a dry chuckle left my mouth.
'Well at first you'll go through a period of training. D.O. and Tao will help you with your required defense training, and Xiumin and Kris will learn you how to fight correctly with weapons such as knives and katanas. Lastly, Chanyeol will teach you how to shoot. Aiming, hitting the bullseye, overcoming your fear of killing people etcetera. Killing people. 'What?! I have to go and kill people?' I said shocked. 'What did you think? Did you think that we were going to have a nice conversation with our enemies?' he said in disbelief. 'You witnessed it yourself. We kill them before they kill us. Get used to this, Y/N, before you end up dead.' he said sternly. 'Now eat your breakfast so you can begin your training.'
I ate my breakfast and brought it back to the kitchen which Xiumin showed me when he found me wandering the halls. I quickly cleaned my plate from its food remainings and went to search for one of the guys. I heard laughter and shouting coming from a room, so I decided to follow the noise.
I entered the source of the noise only to find Baekhyun and Sehun gaming fanatically, acting like some teenagers. 'Guys do you know where I can find Tao or D.O.?' They were pushing each other and pushing buttons on each other's controllers, so focused on the game that they ignored me. 'Guys?' I slightly raised my voice so they could hear me over their game. Baekhyun looked at me and paused the game, 'What?' 'Do you guys know where I can find Tao or D.O.? I have to start my training.' I said. 'Tao is most likely already on his way to Ji Won or The Black Pearl, but D.O. is probably just in his room, which is upstairs the fourth door on the right.' I nodded, 'Thanks.' and before I even left the room, they were back to their childish antics.
Just like Baekhyun said I found D.O. in his room, reading a book in a comfy looking chair. When I entered his room, he looked up from his book and took off his glasses, 'Can I help you?' he seemed a bit confused, 'Oh right the defense lessons right?' I nodded, and he stood up, 'You can talk to me you know, it's not like I'm going to kill you.' he chuckled lightly. Even though he was trying to crack a joke to lighten the mood, he brought me right back to the ringing sound in my ear and the dead person on the ground.
I snapped out of my thoughts for D.O. grabbed me by my arms. A soft gasp left my mouth, 'Are you alright? Sorry, I shouldn't have made that joke, you're shaking. Do you need to sit down?' For someone who has killed people in cold blood, he seemed very caring. 'I'm sorry I was just thinking about...' I trailed off. 'The execution you witnessed.' he said softly. He placed me in the chair, where he was reading earlier, 'Wait here, I'll get you a glass of water.' he said. 'Oh, D.O., you don't have to do that, I'm alright, really.' I said trying to reassure him. 'No, it's fine, I'll be right back.' he left to get me some water, and my gaze wandered his room. It was very neat and organized. Someone knocked on the door, and it surely wasn't D.O. since it is his room. 'Can I come in?' someone asked. I got out of the chair, and my hands were still trembling from earlier.
I turned the doorknob and opened the door. Chanyeol stood in front of me, fiddling with his fingers, unaware that I opened the door. 'What?' I tried to sound cold which he deserved but just by the sight of like some lost puppy made me regret that. 'D.O. said that you had a small panic attack, that he triggered some memories of the execution. I just wanted to know how you were doing.' he avoided my eyes until he had finished his sentence. My heart skipped a beat, but I had to suppress my feelings toward him and stay professional. Even though it's as clear as daylight what my feelings toward him are. 'I'm fine, Chanyeol, thanks.' I wanted to close the door, but he prevented me from doing so by putting his hand against the door. 'Wait, I want to talk to you about yesterday, I-'
D.O. came around the corner and saw Chanyeol, 'Chanyeol, what are you doing? Don't you think you've done enough? Let her breath and get used to this place for fuck sakes.' D.O. snapped, and Chanyeol lowered his head gloomy. 'Just make sure to come by my room after your training. My room is around the corner and then the third door. Please give me a chance to apologize for my behavior. Don't shut me out please.' he pleaded softly and left.
'What'd he say?' D.O. asked me and me sit back before handing me my glass. 'He just wanted to know how I was for he had heard about what happened earlier.' he nodded, 'Well I'll explain some things you should know before we'll begin training.' he started, 'First of all, never lose sight of your enemy and try to predict their next move if you can. Second of all, check for habits or small ticks which show if they're nervous, badly injured, fatigued etcetera. Third and maybe one of the most important things to know, never hesitate to attack if you're in danger. That's it, I can explain the actual fighting part, but it's better if we start training.' he explained and headed to the combat room, 'Follow me.' and so I did. We went downstairs, and at the end of the hallway, there was one big room. It kind of looked like a parking lot for the floor was made of concrete and there were multiple pillars. One part was filled with combat stuff, and a wall filled with weapons, the other part was filled with multiple booths and dummies where we could practice our shooting.
We stood on the mats, 'Show me what you got.' he said and made sure he stood firmly on the ground. 'Like right now?' 'Yeah,' he clapped and signaled me to come at him, 'Come on.' I took a swing at him but before I knew it he swung me over his shoulder and I was on my back with him hovering over me. He stood up and offered me a hand to help me get back on my feet, 'You hesitated.' I frowned, 'No, I didn't' He crossed his arms in front of his chest, 'Yes, you did, you gave it too much thought. If I was your opponent, you would be badly injured or dead. You should never hesitate. Catch them off guard since you do not exactly look like a killer.' he joked. 'Gee thanks.' I said and chuckled.
'Try again.' he said. We trained for a few hours, and he said that I was making progress, but we should continue training tomorrow. 'Eat something before you move on to the next part of your training.' he said and took a big sip from his water bottle which he passed on to me.
After I ate something, I went to look for Kris & Xiumin. Luckily I came across Kris in the hallway. 'Ah, Kris, just the guy I was looking for.' I said and jogged toward him. 'I was told that Xiumin and you will train me in fighting with weapons.' I said. 'Right, wait in the training room, I'll go and get Xiumin.' he said and patted my shoulder before heading to Xiumin.
Once again I entered the huge room where I had trained with D.O.. While I was waiting for them to come and train with me I looked at the variation of weapons. I never thought that I would join a gang and here I am, standing in front of all kind of deathly weapons.
'Ah, Y/N, are you ready for your training?' Kris said as they entered the room. 'As ready as I'll ever be.' Not ready- 'Okay, first of all, I have to explain some stuff. Have you ever needed to defend yourself?' he asked. 'Maybe when you guys kidnapped me' I thought to myself, but I didn't want to piss them off. 'Once when my ex was trying to harass me, but I didn't have weapons.' I said instead of verbally attacking them. 'You literally got abducted.' Xiumin said in disbelief. 'Yeah well I had a defense class once but they never really teach you how to act when it actually happens.' I said irritated. 'That's not really something that can be thought, you should learn how to turn the switch and not be afraid.' Xiumin stated. 'Easier said than be done.' I said. Kris walked toward the wall, 'We'll begin with smaller knives. You'll need to have one on you, all the time in a holster so you can defend yourself when we're under attack.' Kris explained as he grabbed three knives. 'Wait, you guys have been under attack before?' I asked, 'Yeah, of course, you really think that we don't gain enemies in this field of work.' 'No, but I thought that this place would be safe.' 'It is but you have to be prepared for anything.' I nodded. 'Show me what D.O. has thought you. I'll hold a knife against your throat and you'll try to get out of my grip.' He did as he told me and held the knife against my throat. I elbowed him in the face, and when that took him by surprise, I pulled myself out of his grip. 'Not bad but remember out there no one will go easy on you.' Xiumin smiled, 'You just lost from a girl.' he teased Kris. 'No I did not-' 'Yes you did.' 'Did not, I went easy on her. Let's try again and now I'll tighten my hold.'
Kris held the knife at my throat once again, but now he tightened his arm around my waist. It made me a little uncomfortable, but it was for my own good. I needed to learn how to defend myself.
'Come on, show me what you got, princess.' he said and ghosted his lips over my neck. Xiumin cleared his throat, 'We're training, Kris. Keep it in your pants.' My cheeks got a bit red. Kris chuckled and looked at the door, 'I thought that I heard someone come in, hi Chanyeol.' I tensed and looked at him as well. Kris released me, 'Something wrong?' he asked. 'Nothing.' Chanyeol huffed and looked irritated. My mind went straight to his exact words.
'You're mine.'
I stepped away from Kris unconsciously, 'Uuuhm, I think I'm done for today.' I muttered without looking at them, 'Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, alright. You did well today.' Kris smiled, and Xiumin nodded. 'Yeah, we'll see you tomorrow.' I walked to the exit and stopped when I was next to Chanyeol, 'Nothing ha-, nevermind.'
I rushed to my room and closed the door behind me. I let myself fall down on my bed, face first and groaned. Why did I feel like I had to explain myself? My door opened, 'Haven't you heard of knocking' I snapped at the intruder, but my face softened once I saw that it was Chanyeol. He knocked on my door just to tease me, 'Can I come in?' he chuckled even though I just snapped at him. Great, now I feel bad. I shouldn't feel bad, because of him I'm uncertain of my life. 'You still have to train with me so let's go downstairs.
Wait, I have to train with him? Ah right, Suho did mention it. 'Okay, I'll be right behind you.' I said and got off my bed.
I entered the training room for the third time that day, but now we went to the shooting range. 'Did you ever use a gun before?' he asked and loaded a gun. 'No, never thought that I would need to learn it.' he nodded and unloaded the gun. 'Okay, then I'll lead you through it step by step.'
He got in one of the range booths and made sure that there was ammo inside of the magazine. Chanyeol loaded the gun once again, 'As you can see, we use dummies to practice shooting, and so we can try out new weapons. Occasionally though, we train on people...' I didn't hear whatever he said after that. They train on actual people?! I began to feel sick to the stomach, and my chest tightened.
'Are you okay? You're getting a bit pale.' Chanyeol asked a bit concerned. 'You train on actual people?' I almost shouted. 'Only if we have prisoners, but most of the time we don't kill them. It depends on the person really, but we just injure them badly.
'Now let me show you what I'll teach you. You'll start with a .44 magnum, it's easy to load or unload it and the only thing you have to do is aim and pull the trigger.' Chanyeol said and showed it to me. He hit the bullseye immediately. He turned back to me and chuckled, 'You look impressed.' 'I- you're just very good.' I said. 'That was nothing. It just takes some practice, and then you'll be able to do the same.' he said and gave me the unloaded gun, 'Try it.'
I stood in between the two small walls and loaded the gun, 'Like this right?' I said with questioning eyes. 'Yeah, that's alright. Now try to hit the dummy, and we'll see what we'll do from there.'
The first few times I didn't even hit the dummy until the last try when I finally hit the dummy's stomach. I squealed out of excitement, 'Careful now! You don't want to swing around with a loaded gun.' he said with widened eyes. 'Oh yeah sorry.' I laughed awkwardly. 'You're not bad for a beginner, now I'll show you how to stand your ground when you're shooting and I'll guide your aiming. He stood right behind me and put his hands over my hands like nothing ever happened between us. He probably noticed that I got a bit tense, 'Relax, I'm just showing you how you can hit your target at the first try.' he chuckled. Chanyeol guided my hands, 'Try to stand more confident, you don't want to be swept from your feet during a fight.' I straightened my back and shoulders and took a deep breath. 'Okay, now pull the trigger.'
I could hardly concentrate with him pressed against my back, 'Huh, what now?' I asked dazedly. 'I said, pull the trigger.' he said calmly. I pulled the trigger and bounced a bit back against him because of the shock. The bullet actually hit the dummy closer to the center. 'Good job.' he said, and I could hear in his voice that he was smiling. 'Now, I know that you've been training all day so this is enough for today, you did great by the way.' he smiled at me. 'Thanks.' I smiled. 'Oh don't forget to come by later, I really need to talk to you but for now, just get cleaned up. We'll talk later this evening. I nodded, 'Okay, I'll see you tonight then.'
I went to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. My clothes hit the floor, and I turned on the shower. The warm water relieved me from some tension. Today wasn't a bad day, and I actually began to enjoy myself at some point. Or did I enjoy Chanyeols presence? He wasn't that snappy today, apart from when he saw Kris clung to me. I actually enjoyed training with him.
I entered my room with the towel wrapped around my wet body and picked out some clothes which I lend from the girls. The girls... I haven't been thinking about them this whole time. My mind has been so occupied with everything.
I was drying my hair when someone knocked on my door, 'Come in.' I said and draped the towel over my bed. The door opened, and Suho entered. 'How did it go today? I've heard from the guys that it went well.' he said and sat down on my desk. 'Yeah, I didn't expect it to go so well, and I actually enjoyed training, but I'm a bit sore right now.' I chuckled. 'That's normal for someone who has never trained before, but I'm glad to hear that it went well. We'll be having dinner in a few minutes, so I'll see you downstairs.' I nodded, and he went downstairs.
When I entered the dining room, a few of the guys were already seated. 'Y/N, come sit next to me! Baekhyun said excitedly. I went to sit next to him, and the other guys joined us. The food smelled absolutely delicious, 'It smells great, who cooked?' I asked curiously. 'D.O. did.' Xiumin said. 'Than I'm sure it'll taste delicious.'
We ate our dinner, and I helped with the dishes. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was getting later. Maybe I should go to Chanyeol, he must be waiting for me.
I knocked on Chanyeols door, and he opened the door. He looked so adorable. He was wearing a hoodie, and the hood covered his fluffy hair. Total boyfriend material if you ask me- Dammit Y/N! He has a girlfriend... 'Come in.' he said, and I entered his room. Weird, I had expected a much darker room but instead it was filled with instruments and action figures. 'Didn't expect this?' he chuckled and scratched his head. 'This is better than what I had expected honestly.' I smiled. 'So you wanted to talk.' I said. 'Yeah,' he sat down on his bed with his back against the headboard. He patted the spot next to him, and I slowly sat down next to him. 'I wanted to apologize for my bipolar behavior, I just don't meet a lot of girls that I really like and I know that it's wrong since I have a girlfriend so I won't act upon it. I would hate it though if we can't at least be friends since you're a part of EXO now.' Chanyeol said with a sad smile. 'Of course, Chanyeol, I'm glad that you wanted to talk because lately, I've been conflicted with my feelings as well but I appreciate it that you've explained yourself and I get it. Being friends with you won't be a problem since we have a lot in common.' I said and referred to the instruments and figures. 'You play these instruments?' he gasped excitedly. I nodded, 'I only play the piano but I would love to learn how to play the guitar though.' I said. 'I could teach you.' he smiled. 'My girlfriend hates these action figures, she says that it's something which should belong to a child and don't even get me started on the movies.' he sighed. 'Tsk, she just doesn't have a good taste then.' I said and we laughed. 'But you play the piano right?' he asked excitedly and jumped off his bed, 'Do you want to play with me?' he asked and sat down behind his keyboard. I had no idea that there was a playful side to the cold EXO member. 'Yeah, of course, but I have to warn you I haven't played in a while.' I said and sat beside him. We played the piano for about an hour until someone entered Chanyeols room, 'Chanyeol, it's 1:00 AM, why are you playing right now.' D.O. huffed and rubbed in his eyes. 'Oh hey, Y/N didn't know you were here as well. I giggled at him, his hair was an absolute mess, it looked kinda cute.
'Sorry, Kyungsoo.' Chanyeol chuckled. Wait, Kyungsoo? I looked at Chanyeol in confusion. 'We'll try to keep it down.' Chanyeol said and D.O. left. 'You said Kyungsoo, I thought that his name was D.O.' I stated. 'Oh right, I'll explain that later, but first it might be a good idea to get some sleep since you'll be training tomorrow.' he said and he began to yawn. 'True, I do feel a bit exhausted.' It was nice to hang out with you.' I smiled. 'Yeah it was, so we're good now?' Chanyeol asked. 'Yeah, we are.' I smiled.
I really hope things won't get too complicated between us.
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youleftme-clarke · 6 years
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Who are your favorite bellarke authors?
I am so glad you asked, nonny, because I have been meaning to do a fic rec! The authors listed below are in no particular order; I just went with whoever came up first on my history on AO3, and included some of my favorite fics by each author!
the_most_beautiful_broom ( @the-most-beautiful-broom​ )
Drops of Gold Like Sparks | Rated G | 7,682 words
Coffee Shop AU. Whenever their apartment is too quiet, Clarke and Madi settle into a local coffee shop to catch up on work and homework. Clarke steps outside to answer a call, and Madi asks the most erudite-looking person within shouting distance for help with her history homework.
Room 337 | Rated T | 22,609 words | 5/5 chapters
Hospital AU. Clarke broke Bellamy’s heart; she knows that. She also knows that even though she had her reasons, he never heard them. It takes Octavia being in a motorcycle crash and being rushed into Clarke’s O.R. for the two of them to finally reconcile their differences.
verbaepulchellae ( @verbam​ )
Sugar, Let Me Be Your Passenger | Rated E | 58,829 words | 7/? chapters
“Don’t you think there should be some cosmic rule,” Clarke says, leaning back against the counter as well and contemplating her glass. “That when you suffer through a bad date, the world owes you a blow job?”
Bellamy chokes on his wine, and Clarke helpfully pats him on the back as he splutters. “Jesus, Clarke. Warn a guy.”
“What? I’m trying to commiserate with you,” Clarke laughs. “Wouldn’t that be the ultimate?”
“Well, sure,” Bellamy says, a little flustered. “Cosmically owed orgasms sound like a pretty good deal to me. There’s just the small catch that most bad dates don’t lead to sex.”
Encased In Case I Need It | Rated M | 37,063 words | 5/? chapters
Her friends have finally come back to Earth. It’s been six years. Somethings have changed more than others.
theoneinquisitor ( @octannibal-blake​ )
when there’s nothing left to burn | Rated M | 2,677 words | 1/? chapters
The first time she meets Bellamy Blake, he’s spitting blood into a dirty bathroom sink somewhere on the outskirts of Polis. Or: the angsty bellarke boxing fic literally no one asked for.
now i’m running, and i can’t stop anywhere i go | Rated T | 7,034 words
He’s just the boy who conquers his fears and could conquer the world. She’s the girl who can’t get on the ride. A Modern Bellarke AU.
HawthorneWhisperer ( @hawthornewhisperer​ )
there’s an art to life’s distractions | Rated E | 14,585 words | 4/4 chapters
Bellamy needs a place to live for a few months and Clarke has a spare bedroom.
What could go wrong?
it’s been said many times, many ways | Rated M | 18,311 words | 5/5 chapters
A Hallmark Christmas Movie-esque AU, featuring: Clarke as the big city business woman trapped in a small town for incredibly contrived reasons! Bellamy as the surly-but-good-hearted bookstore owner who takes her in! A bookstore with a name that’s also a Latin pun! Madi being adorable! A gift swap and mistletoe! Bedsharing for even more contrived reasons! And more.
not_a_total_basket_case ( @raven-reyes-of-sunshine )
I Want To Fall In Love (With The Stars In Your Eyes) | Rated T | 42,543
This is going to be a whole bunch of relatively short one-shots/drabbles. Probably, but not definitely, going to be all Bellarke. Also they’ll probably all be modern day.
Friends First | Rated T | 3,936 words
“Fine.” Bellamy all but snaps, turning to face Miller and trying to keep his exasperation at bay. “I’ll tell her.”
“You better.” Miller says, wiping the counter down, while Bellamy counts the tills. They’re closing up the bar and Miller has spent the last three hours trying to convince Bellamy to just tell Clarke how he feels. That he’s basically been in love with her since they met six months ago. Even if all they did was fight initially, he was doing it for an excuse to talk to her. He’s never really been great with his feelings.
“I will.” Bellamy says, holding up his phone so Miller can see the screen. “I just texted her to tell her I need to talk to her.”
selflessbellamy ( @selflessbellamy )
Just Another Graceless Night | Rated E | 8,785 words
Clarke Griffin is the newest member of the Alternative Rock band, The Delinquents , but in the band they have one (1) rule:
“Everyone hates Bellamy Blake.”
Of course, Clarke didn’t know this when she slept with him… That complicates things a bit.
You took a polaroid of us | Rated T | 3,767 words
Roadtrip AU: Two weeks after Clarke loses father to cancer, her boyfriend Bellamy decides that it’s time for her to get out of her room
asroarke ( @asroarke )
Only Once | Mated M | 9,963 words
If Clarke could date, he was exactly who she would be going for. He’s smart, funny, a little too cute for his own good… He always managed to say the sarcastic thing that Clarke was already thinking. And he understood her curse, possibly even more than Wells did since he actually had one. He was sweet to her when he needed to be. He teased the hell out of her and loved to pick fights with her, but he knew when to be supportive. And when he praised her for something, she genuinely believed he meant every word.
Bellamy Blake was exactly who she would want in a world where she wasn’t cursed… which was why she needed to steer clear of him.
A Modern AU where Clarke Griffin has a curse. Anyone that she says the words “I love you” to will die. The only logical thing to do is to just swear off dating… or at least, that was the plan until Bellamy Blake walked into her life.
Diamond Heart | Rated M | 11,801 words
The Country Music fic where Bellamy can totally handle Clarke’s fake relationship with Finn Collins. He is not jealous at all. The songs he writes just coincidentally happen to make it sound like he’s jealous.
marauders_groupie ( @marauders-groupie )
Kept Going, Kept Rolling with Nowhere to Go | Rated M | 7,365 words
Clarke Griffin meets Bellamy Blake on her third night in Spain and she blames sangria and travelling for what happens after.
A Cup of Coffee, a Sandwich and You | Rated T | 1,820 words
Bellarke + “You give me a different fake name every time you come into the coffee shop and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “Batman” onto your stupid cappuccino”
islabbe ( @blueshirtbell )
We’re On Thin Ice (We Might As Well Dance) | Rated G | 16,417 words
Finn is disqualified from competing and Clarke needs a new ice dance partner fast! Luckily, Marcus knows just the man for the job.
That’s a Wrap | Rated T | 4,097 words
Clarke owns a gift wrapping shop. Bellamy is terrible at wrapping and of course he leaves it until the last minute on Christmas Eve to bring it to Clarke’s shop.
Willaphyx ( @rebelprincebell )
Things We Shouldn’t Do | Rated T | 92,654 words | 8/8 chapters
Clarke is at the bottom of a downward spiral and Bellamy is riding an all-time career high when they’re cast as the leads of Marcus Kane’s newest drama. The entertainment world expects a blowup of immense proportions between the two feuding actors but get a hard to explain romance instead. Or: a fake dating celebrities AU.
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Text
sweet tooth
view on ao3
fandom: zankyou no terror
pairing: mishima lisa/nine/twelve (i guess)
summary: Lisa lands a job, but doesn't trust in her own abilities. Luckily, she has Nine and Twelve on her side.
a/n: this has been a headcanon of mine for a long time, so enjoy! :) haven't written in a while bc of finishing up my senior yr and graduation. but ahhhhhh, i'm starting college in just a few weeks guys! D:
“I can’t wait to eat all these yummy cookies, Mommy!” the little girl said just as Lisa rang up the purchases.
As the young mother handed money over to Lisa, she smiled down at her child. “Then let’s go, dear. Wave goodbye to the nice young lady.”
With a wave to Lisa, the girl said, “Bye! Thanks for the cookies!”
Lisa smiled, waving in return. “Thank you for shopping at Sweet Tooth, enjoy the rest of your day!” Once the two had turned their backs on her and walked away, she took a step back from the counter and exhaled.
Even with a child present, interacting with customers was taxing. How pathetic could she be?
She hoped none of the customers—sitting at the tables, enjoying their food and time with family—would be watching her exterior crumble for just a second. She needed that second to compose herself.
Surprisingly, it was her third day working at the bakery. In the days before her job orientation and officially starting at Sweet Tooth (heck, even when she had received the news that she had been hired), she had been convinced that she would be fired within a day. Though it seemed that they were two days overdue, she figured the place would keep her for the rest of the week and then, let her go.
After all, she considered that even if she had been such a terrible employee that they had to kick her out, it’d be too cruel of them to do it right away. They were probably just being mindful of her feelings, letting her play just a little more at being a Sweet Tooth employee.
No, no, no.
She mentally slapped herself for bringing herself down.
Lisa knew she had to work on her self-confidence, but, of course given her natural timidity and that this was her first job, it was difficult. She wanted to become a better worker, but her shortcomings constantly loomed over her as a reminder.
In an attempt to cheer up, she pointed out to herself that this time, even though her voice had been a bit shaky when she was speaking to the woman and her child, she didn’t stumble over her words and fall off a bottomless cliff. Practicing with Nine and Twelve did seem to be paying off at least.
The pocket of her work uniform buzzed, pulling her out of her thoughts. She put a hand over her pocket and remembered her phone. Though she wasn’t supposed to be on it during her shifts, she snuck a peek at it anyway.
The screen lit up again with messages from the group chat.
twelve: hey SWEETie!
twelve: (ಡ艸ಡ)
twelve: get it?
twelve: bc u work at a bakery (ಡ艸ಡ)
twelve: anywayyyy
twelve: don’t be nervous! (≧∇≦)/
Before she knew it, a smile had managed to uplift the corners of her mouth. Twelve didn’t even have to be there to know she needed some comfort, almost like he was a psychic or something.
twelve: that’s good! Keep smiling like that (≧∇≦)/
nine: That was creepy… (=_=)
twelve: (≧∇≦)/
Impossible, how did he know that she was smiling? The thought of him as a psychic was supposed to be a joke.
At the sound of the bell jingling from the entrance, Lisa’s jaw dropped as she looked up to see Nine and Twelve waltzing into the bakery. She hadn’t expected their appearance at all, but as quickly as she was shocked, she found it a pleasant surprise. She instantly felt like she actually belonged with them around.
“Hi Lisa!” Twelve practically shouted, making the other customers turn around to stare and glare. “Woooow, it smells so good in here!”
“Obviously. Do you even know where we are?” Nine retorted.
“What are you two doing here?” Lisa asked.  
Twelve answered, “Why… we came to see you of course! We’ve supported you from home. Then we decided it was time to pay this place a visit and support you here. Are we not allowed to?”
“O-of course you guys are allowed to.”
“Good.” Twelve crossed his arms and grinned. “Hold on…” He held up a finger. “I hear my name being called...” He then wandered off toward the display cases like a little kid attracted to the sight of action figures. Lisa and Nine watched as he pressed his face up to the glass, visibly drooling at the sight of the fluffy, glorious cakes.
“How are you doing?” Nine asked Lisa when Twelve had moved on to ogle and drool over the brownies, cookies, pies, and other heavenly creations.
“I’m fine,” Lisa said quietly, content in her tone. “With you guys here, I’m fine.”
“Well,” Nine cleared his throat, “even if we’re not here physically… just know that we’re always with you. Remember that.”
In response, Lisa beamed, appreciating his effort to remind her of their endless support.
Twelve came running back to them, nearly jumping right over the counter as he seemed to draw elaborate art in the air. “Lisa! I want that, that, that, that, that, that... and that. Oh, and that. Aaaaand that. Ok, I’m done.” He squinted at the menu behind her. “Ooh, wait, that sounds delicious! A large Javalanche, please.”
“Twelve…” Twelve held up a hand to shush Nine before he could finish.
Lisa chuckled and got their orders before ringing them up.
“Put an extra straw,” Twelve said as Lisa handed over the drink.
“Who’s the third straw for?” she inquired.
“You, silly. Nine, find a table.” To Lisa, he said, “Eat with us.”
“I can’t… I wish I could, but I’m the only one working right now.”
“Lisa?” Lisa turned to find her coworker, Mr. Shibazaki, a long-time employee who had always been nice to her since she started out. He had somehow arrived for his shift and made it behind the counter without her noticing. “Who is this? A friend?”
“Yeah.”
“Hello, I’m Twelve.” He reached out to shake the older man’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Twelve? What an interesting name. I’m Mr. Shibazaki, Lisa’s coworker.”
A quick glance at the clock told Lisa something was strange here. “You’re early for your shift, aren’t you?” she pointed out.
“I am? My watch says it’s three-thirty...” The adult inspected said watch, making sure that he was reading the time correctly.
Laughter exploded out of Twelve. “Sorry,” he wiped at his eyes, “but your watch is wrong. It’s two-thirty.”
Lisa had to hold back a giggle. It was cruel to laugh at the elder’s mistake, however it was a bit funny.
“Crap. Damn watch has been messing up lately.” Mr. Shibazaki sighed in defeat. “Well… why don’t I take your shift? Go eat with your friends. You deserve it for working so diligently these past few days.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary Mr.—”
“No, I’m serious. Go.”
“Wh-what? But—”
“Go.”
She stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds. “Really? Are… are you sure?’
He nodded his head.
“Thank you, Mr. Shibazaki! I owe you one.” Lisa left the counter and joined Twelve. They started to walk toward the table Nine was sitting at.
“Hey, try this Javalanche.” Lisa let Twelve put a straw to her lips, and she took a sip, experiencing an avalanche of chocolatey goodness. “Oops, Nine looks mad. I think he wanted to try it first. Too bad I already had a few sips when you and Mr. Shibazaki were talking.” Twelve snorted. “It’s so good though!”
“Yeah, it is good,” she said. “Everything’s good here.”
A giddiness in the pit of her stomach made her feel as if she could conquer anything in the world, even the inevitable demise of her time at Sweet Tooth (which definitely wasn’t going to happen).
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