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princesscolumbia · 8 months

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Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

Next Post in this series

#captain r'el #dal r'el #captain janeway #captain picard #captain sisko #captain kirk #captain pike #captain archer #captain georgiou #captain burnham #captain freeman #Star Trek Captains - Review and Category

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chrollohearttags · 9 months

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writing silly little prompts of my ships so you don’t have to: part two • reiner edition

content warning: mentions of rough sex, reiner being a complete simp :(, himbo rei, size kink, him asking for consent 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 foreplay, oral sex

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he was an absolute wreck…face flush, mouth agape and sweat trickling down his forehead. His fingers lying dormant inside of that gushing heat. Honey like juices coating those digits as they remained planted knuckle deep..tongue protruded out as it had been previously lapping at your sensitive clit..there honestly wasn’t a single place he’d rather be. Than right here between the immense comfort of your plush thighs. The side of his stubble ridden face resting between them. “R-reiii..hgnhhh!” The desperate cries further feeding his desires. To not only taste every delectable drop oozing from your sex, but to pleasure you in ways you’d never experienced. The intensity between two newfound lovers, exploring all of their partner’s needs, wants and desires. It’s all that Reiner could’ve ever asked for when he met you and now that he was getting the opportunity to prove his devout love, he pull out every stop possible to ensure that you feel nothing less.

“What is it, baby? Are you okay?..”

as if he were unaware of the three breathtaking orgasms that he had just casually drew from your body. One right after the next..courtesy of amazing oral sex. But he had aspirations of giving you more. More of those mind numbing orgasms, more of those intense movements and most of all, himself..he wanted to give himself to you wholeheartedly and please you whichever way you wanted. However, he needed to hear you say it..he needed to know what to do from here. Finally leaning up, Reiner tugged himself up by the headboard; towering above your trembling body. He was so much larger..even eclipsing the entire ceiling from your view. His handsome face was the only sight you needed to see. Pawing at his abs and chest, (y/n) emitted breathy moans; unable to even form a coherent sentence. You were practically breathless but he had to push you a little further..coax a little more out of you. At least enough to know what it is you wished for. Grasping himself by the shaft, the burly blonde smacked the tip of that thick cock against your slit before cupping a free hand around your chin. With your explicit permission, he’d do whatever you pleased..

“Tell me sugar..please. What do you want? Do you want me to fuck you? I can go as deep as you want me…put it in this cute little tummy if ya’ want or be gentle. Take my time and make love to you..”

enticing you on those words with a thumb between your lips. Before he slid in though, he just needed to hear your response; completely frozen without it.

“I’m only here to serve you, baby. Tell me what you want and I’ll make it happen.”

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tojisbbg · 9 months

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𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙞 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧?

❝i’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend. it’s not what he’s made for.❞

♡ gojo satoru ♡

a/n: the barbie movie man.

content: gojo satoru x fem!reader, fluff/angst, hurt/comfort, very short (compared to my other works lmfao), not edited.

---

it was almost midnight, the gloomy weather of the rainy october night made your heart further storm in nothing but despair and loneliness. you just finished showering and drying your hair, now making the bed in hopes of being met with your boyfriend soon.

you were one of the mentors at jujutsu high and though the job itself made you meet a bunch of amazing people whom are safe to consider as family, the work gets very draining. it’s no use hiding the fact that your heart was incredibly soft, which is rather ironic, considering the fact that your job is so gruesome.

nonetheless, on the battlefield you can contain your emotions pretty well, but what happens behind closed doors is history. the majority of whom you mentor are teenagers who are cursed with the responsibility of protecting humanity simply because they’re skilled enough to use jujutsu.

it wasn’t fair, no child should ever be stripped away from their youth. it made your heart shred to pieces knowing the fact that some of your students can’t even fit in the time to hang out, party or just be young and dumb with their friends like normal teenagers.

it was yuji’s birthday today and instead of being home and celebrating with his friends, he’s currently out on a mission with gojo right now. your eyes wandered over to your lamp table where the neatly wrapped present of some movies that he’s been dying to watch along with a hoodie.

your eyes began to sting with tears and you couldn’t help but cry into your palms. this feeling of guilt, despair and sadness haunted you frequently and you tried your best to cope with it by yourself. you didn’t want to burden anyone else with anymore, figuring out that everyone already had enough on their plate to take care of.

you didn’t realize when gojo arrived to the comforts of your shared home, slipping into the bedroom quietly, only to find you sobbing. he froze in his tracks, his smile falling down as confusion was painted all over his face.

were you hurt?

was someone bothering you?

did he do something wrong?

gojo knew that dating you meant being very patient, especially because your nature was very timid and reserved. this perfectly balanced out your relationship, as your boyfriend was a loud extrovert who was extremely clingy as well. gojo was very verbal with his thoughts and emotions, in contrast, you liked to keep things bottled up inside no matter how much he pushed you to spill it. but, of course, gojo respected your wishes to not tell him and always reminded you that he’s always here to listen if you needed someone.

however, your boyfriend has been concerned about your well-being recently. gojo satoru might seem like a himbo, but he’s a genius; and despite your shy personality, he can read through you like water. seeing your mental health slowly deteriorating without knowing the cause of it makes his heart bleed every time when he comes home and sees you sleeping with tear streaks or a puffy face.

“baby?” gojo finally called out, making you jolt in surprise as you quickly turned around as wiped away your tears. you mentally cursed at yourself for being so careless, trying your best to fix yourself up. with a small smile, you faced him.

“welcome home, satoru. how did the mission go?” you asked, trying to change the subject. your words made gojo pout, as your boyfriend closed the door behind him before walking closer to the bed.

“it went well as expected, no casualties, we saved those people and the curses were exorcised.” he responded, his hand going behind his head to untie the blindfold. gojo took the black cloth off, which shielded his gorgeous cerulean colored eyes. his snowy colored hair fell, wisps of it covering his forehead and eyes.

“that’s good to hear.” you let out a breath of relief, making him hum.

“how was your day?” gojo casually asked, taking off his uniform as he looked at you for an answer. you shrugged, not having much to say.

“it was okay, i was just home and did some work here and there.” you answer was kept short, making gojo sigh.

“anything on your mind lately, y/n?” he asked in a gentle voice, now sitting next to you as he took a hold of your hand. you looked at him in surprise, the sudden closeness caught you off guard.

“no, why’d you ask?” you offered him a small smile, making him frown.

“because you’ve been lying to me recently. i know you’re not okay, honey, and that’s perfectly fine. i’m here to listen and i’ll try my best to help you.” gojo squeezed your hand in a comforting manner, a lump forming in your throat.

“i’m fine, baby, i promise.” you once again tried to convince him with your white lies.

“i saw you sobbing just minutes ago, something is wrong and you’re not telling me. i have the right to know what’s making my girlfriend upset, okay? don’t take that away from me.” his tone dropped, words now getting more agitated and slightly harsh due to your stubborn behavior.

“fine! yes! something’s bothering me and i’m trying to deal with it as best as i can, alright? it’s none of your business nor do you have to make it yours either.” you glared at him before standing up, looking at his shocked face. you chewed on your inner cheek, feeling guilt slowly swallowing you for acting like this when you knew that he meant well.

“y/n, how could you say that to me? i’m your boyfriend, for fuck’s sake! do you not trust me or something? is that the case? why can’t you just open up to me!” gojo continued to push your buttons further, his persistence making your tears ducts work hard to resist the stinging in your eyes.

“i’m going to sleep.” you bluntly responded, attempting to shuffle towards your side of the bed. however, gojo was not about to let you go to bed without getting some answers. he grabbed your wrists and roughly pulled you towards him, making you yelp.

you were now in between his long and very muscular legs, trapped. you tried your best to break free, but it was no avail.

“satoru, i’m being serious, let go of me.” you sneered, but he only shook his head.

“please, y/n, tell me what’s wrong. i want to help you, honey, please let me.” gojo looked at you with begging eyes, his tone was laced with nothing but hurt and frustration. you could feel the walls that you built around your heart crumble as soon as you took a closer look and saw tears welling in those gorgeous eyes.

“it’s just not fair.” you started, already feeling the burning and squeezing feeling of your throat as your vision started to blur with tears.

“tell me all your thoughts and feelings, y/n.” he encouraged, rubbing your back as you looked down, thinning your lips as you tried to compose yourself.

“it’s so hard watching our kids lose bits of their childhood every day. it’s like i’m living in an endless nightmare. it was yuji’s birthday and that poor kid couldn’t even celebrate it ‘cause of the mission. i-i-” you began to choke on your tears, speaking fast and incoherently, yet gojo understood you perfectly.

“your feelings are completely valid, sweetheart. come here.” gojo pulled you to sit on his lap and you accepted his invitation without any hesitation. you wrapped your legs around his waist before wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face in the crook of his neck as you cried. he gave you a minute to pour all your tears out, rubbing your back in a soothing manner.

“they’re just kids! they don’t deserve to live like this. i’d do anything in the world to change things if i could.” you spoke, words slightly muffled but they rang clear in gojo’s ears.

“it’s a cruel world, y/n. talented kids who are cursed with the power of fighting these monsters are expected to protect ordinary humans. it’s tragic and wrong, but, both you and i are trying our best to protect their youth. you feeling this way and always going the extra mile to see them happy only proves to me how much of a soft-hearted and beautiful person you are. it makes me fall in love with you even more.” your boyfriend’s words warmed your heart, as you hiccuped from your excessive crying. you pulled back, looking at him with a small smile as your tears continued to stream down your cheeks.

“i tried so hard to deal with this horrible feeling on my own, but it’s just too much.” you confessed, making gojo’s eyes soften.

“i know it is, sweetheart. why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” he asked, watching you fidget in his embrace.

“because you already have enough on your plate. being born to be the strongest sorcerer is already draining as it is, it would be wrong of me to burden you with my feelings. it’s not what you were made for, satoru.” you began to caress his soft cheeks, feeling his hands come up to cup yours as he brought your knuckles to his lips to kiss them.

“that’s exactly what i was made for, my love. i was made to listen to your cries, your thoughts, your giggles, your emotions, everything. i was made to be your boyfriend, the one who’s gonna lend you a shoulder to cry on and arms to hug you tight when you feel scared. i was made to love you and only you. i was made to be yours, y/n.” gojo tenderly spoke, making your heart explode with sparks as his sweet words only made you cry harder.

you hugged him tightly, mumbling a bunch of ‘sorry’ and ‘i love you’ to him as gojo held you close. if you were to be quiet and focus, you could hear and feel both of your heartbeats synchronizing.

“feel better now?” gojo asked and you nodded your head. you felt like a huge boulder on your chest has been lifted, the feeling of suffocation was now gone as it felt like you could breathe again.

“much better.” you responded, combing your fingers through his soft snow colored hair as he sighed in bliss.

“thank you for opening up to me, honey. i’m sorry if i sounded a little pushy, i just want the best for you, that’s all.” he apologized, kissing your temple.

“don’t apologize, baby. thank you for listening to me and always caring about me. i couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend.” you gave him a shy smile, kissing the skin of his neck, making him giggle at the ticklish feeling.

you pulled back, cupping his face into yours before leaning in to place a soft and loving kiss on his lips. gojo melted into your touch, pulling you impossibly closer to him as his kissed you back. it was nothing suggestive nor intense, but the kiss left a sweet taste on your lips.

the taste of gojo satoru’s undying love for you.

“i love you so much, satoru.” you whispered against his lips before giving him a peck.

“i love you more, y/n.” he smiled against your lips before giving you a peck as well, making you giggle.

“i’ll let you go freshen up now, i’ll make us some tea and then we could go to sleep.” you suggested, making him nod his head.

“sounds good.” gojo smiled before giving you a kiss on the cheek. you got off of him and watched him go through his closet to find something comfortable to wear. meanwhile, you grabbed the present for yuji and walked over to your closet to place it there.

“what’s that?” gojo noticed and pointed at the wrapped gift.

“for yuji, i’ll give it to him tomorrow when it’s time for training.” you explained, making gojo hum.

“we’re planning a surprise party for yuji tomorrow night, so just give it to him then. i managed to convince the higher-ups by lying to give yuji a few days off along with the other kids.” he gave you a cheeky smile, making you chuckle as you playfully slapped his chest.

“you’re unbelievable sometimes, satoru.” you shook your head in disbelief.

“is that a good or bad thing, sweetheart?” he teased, leaning down to come at a closer height to you. you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards your face.

“it’s a great thing, baby.” you smiled and pressed a kiss on his lips, making him laugh.

they say that humans were initially created in pairs, your other half being your soulmate. though others believe that it’s simply a myth and that soulmates don’t exist, the existence of your boyfriend proves otherwise.

gojo satoru is your other half and you both were made for each other without a doubt.

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lizzaneia-elizalde · 6 months

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Lizzaneia's Grimoire of Yandere Men

Here's a masterlist of my yanderes! It will be updated regularly whenever a prompt or fic will be posted.

Edit (April 2): REQUESTS ARE CLOSED! But if you have simple asks, then ask away! Chatting is also open. I am quite overwhelmed with the number of requests and asks that warrants a fic, so I need a bit of break first hehe.

RULES FOR REQUESTING: Here

YANDERE MEN SECOND SET : HERE

(I separated the second set since the photo got capped already ^^)

ALL YANDERE MEN SET 1

RANKING REQ: The yanderes as fathers

SCENARIO REQ: The Yanderes with their yandere children

RANKING REQ: The yanderes and your period

SCENARIO REQ: The yanderes and their dream date

SCENARIO REQ: The yanderes and their Choice of Outfit for You

SCENARIO REQ: The Yanderes and their Darling's lonely birthday

ALL YANDERE OC ASKS AND WRITER ASKS

Top 3 yandere men (my OCs) when it comes to jealousy

ask: How would I define yandere?

Which OCs inherited their yandere-ness/Has yandere-ness in their genes?

My top 3 yanderes

YANDERE VERSION OF FANDOM CHARACTERS

Yandere! Neuvillette (Genshin)

Yandere! Solomon (Obey Me)

yandere! Artist Arlen

main fic

yandere! artist and his muse

Yandere! Dragon Vincent

main fic

Req: Yandere tidbits: flying

Yandere! Theater Actor Ignatius

main fic

ask: Soooo does this mean Ignatius got roleplay k!nk??

What if: reader is an otaku?

Yandere! Butler Zero

main fic

Yandere! Sugar Daddy Rowan

main fic

ask: Rowan can spoil me anytime :)

ask: Just read yandere sugar daddy AND GOD!! Plz do part 2. I want to see them dating🫣

REQ: Yandere! Jock Damon

main fic (also had voice headcannons for the previous yan men)

Req: WHAT IF: Reader is a black belter in martial arts?

Ask: what if the reader doesn't like Damon's himbo personality?

Ask: What if Damon drops his facade?

Req: ask of a What if: Black belter reader met somebody else in the promotional test?

Req: Yandere tidbit: achievements

What if: darling posts a thirst trap?

Req: Yandere tidbit: Reward system

REQ: Yandere! Assassin Azrael

main fic

req:yandere! Assassin and his conglomerate girlfriend

ask: oh. hm.. so. Azrael right? So he gonna tear us down eh?-- What would happen next 🤡?

ask: I'm actually scared for yan!assassin mc.......

Yandere! Ex-boyfriend Lee

main fic

Req: WHAT IF: Reader is now a husk?

Req: WHAT IF: Reader knows how to protect themselves?

Yandere! Cowboy Knoxx

main fic

Req: WHAT IF: Darling goes back to the city?

Req: WHAT IF: The reader goes back to the city, but this time with Knoxx?

Req: What if of a WHAT IF: Reader becomes a broken husk after the baby trapping?

Yandere! Emo Ashton

main fic

req: Yandere! Emo and his beloved popular bitch

REQ: Yandere! Werewolf Lyall

main fic

Req: Yandere tidbit: Knitting

Yandere! Ex-husband Iñigo

main fic

Req: WHAT IF: You refused to marry him?

REQ: Yandere! hospital chairperson Xavier

main fic

Req: WHAT IF: Darling got sick?

REQ: Yandere! Villain Eros

main fic

ask: Darling avoids Eros turned Part 2

REQ: Yandere! Politician Maximus

main fic

REQ: Yandere! Mafia boss Hades

main fic

Req: WHAT IF: Reader is a rebel type?

Req: WHAT IF: Reader is "cheating"?

#yandere boyfriend #yandere imagines #yandere male #yandere writing #male yandere x reader #tw yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere fic #yandere drabbles #lizzaneiaelizalde

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spacecoffeeandcartoons · 5 months

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discovery: welcome aboard the discovery, a custom-built science vessel that can conquer the pack ice in four days. our crew is young, dumb, and full of hope. we’ve got Captain Anxiety (Bachelor Edition), Slam Poetry Storemaster, Dr Polar-Bear-Dick-In-A-Jar, Frankie Wild-o, and Bilson <3. they know everything will be alright, because it will be! enjoy the cross-dressing theatricals, bi-weekly debates, and complimentary balloon rides!

terra nova: hop aboard our leaky blubber-stained whaler bitch. do our motor sledges work? no. are our ponies dropping like flies? yes. is providence gonna let us have just one good day? fuck no. officers include Captain Anxiety (Dad Edition), Scurvilicious Himbo, Antivaxxer Eeyore, Ooze, Near-sighted Impostor Syndrome Lordling, and Uncle Bilson <3. if you want to shatter your teeth while camping tentless in 70 below, spend your anniversary in an ice hovel grateful to eat 10 raisins, or lose your foot to frostbite because you ate a hot curry, you’ve come to the right place. also, hut point is for plotting mutiny, and the dogs aren’t coming to save you. great god. (based on https://t.co/VSAxmMgoFm)

#polar exploration #terra nova expedition #Robert falcon scott #discovery expedition

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babytarttdoodoo · 10 months

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kind of a rouge prompt idea but “i just told a story at work about my childhood that i thought was really funny but now everyone is super quiet and someone said i’m so sorry” but it’s jamie + the team edition. like he talks about a traumatising James Thing and has no idea how horrifying it is until they’re all like …… wtf

love your writing! <3

Thanks for the prompt (and the lovely compliment)!

I’ll preface this by saying I have next to no knowledge of dentistry and you should not assume any medical assertions made here are correct.

((I also feel like I should add that I finished this one off while more than a little tipsy.))

Enjoy the himbo chaos.

(Prompt Fill Masterpost)

—

“Ay, dios mio, it was terrifying.” Dani put an emphatic hand to his chest. “Earl. He still haunts me.”

“Thought you were over that, bruv.” Isaac frowned up at him from his usual spot on the locker bench.

“On the pitch, yes. But at night…” Dani shook his head mournfully. “I have dreams of being chased in the dark. I know it is him.”

“I used to have dreams like that.” Colin piped up, pausing in tying his laces and looking haunted. “‘Cept it was my nana chasing me, on her mobility scooter.”

A few people sniggered and Isaac clapped Colin’s shoulder. “That’s fucked up.”

“I never remember my dreams,” Sam mused. “But I have always been a very deep sleeper. My father says I was the envy of all other parents when I was a baby.”

“I have only ever had one nightmare.” Richard declared. “All of my beautiful little teeth fell out of my mouth and I was ugly. Who will kiss me if I have no teeth?”

“Who’s losing teeth?” Jamie asked, joining the conversation from the doorway with a furrowed brow.

“We are discussing nightmares,” Jan explained matter-of-factly, then turned back to Richard. “Dreams about losing teeth are commonly attributed to stress.”

Jamie shook his head, still looking confused.

“Nah, don’t get that one, mate. Your dentist can just stick ‘em right back in, can’t they?”

That sparked a round of horrified protests and Jamie flapped his hands like a conductor to quiet the rabble.

“Eh, eh, I’m right!”

“Actually…” Sam held up his phone, open on an NHS webpage. “Jamie is correct.”

The locker room erupted into disgust and outrage while Jamie grinned smugly and tipped his I,COG cap to Sam for the assist.

“Hold on, how did you know that?” Isaac demanded, staring at Jamie like he had two heads. That quietened the team a little as heads swivelled in Jamie’s direction.

“Knocked two of ‘em out when I were, like, 10.” He shrugged and tapped a fingernail against one of his front teeth in demonstration. “Mum’s friend were a dental nurse. Told her to put them in some milk and take me to hospital.”

“You were very lucky.” Sam commented, still scrolling through the information he had found. “A significant gap in your teeth can lead to premature ageing.”

“And what a tragedy that would have been, eh?” Jamie beamed, gesturing to his face. “To think I might have deprived the world of this top tier mug.”

Other players groaned and laughed, a few tossing socks or discarded shirts in Jamie’s direction while he ducked, sniggering.

“How do you know they gave you your real teeth back?” Bumbercatch questioned, with an air that suggested great suspicion of the dentistry profession as a whole.

Jamie considered that. “Fair point,” he conceded. “They feel like mine, though.”

“Wait, how do you even manage to lose two teeth at once?” Colin interjected, muffled by his fingers as he prodded his own mouth in confusion. “I’ve never lost any after my baby teeth.”

“Took a snooker cue to the face.” The team winced as a collective and Jamie nodded sagely. “Were pretty grim. Blood all over the pub floor and everything.”

“You were 10?” Thierry clarified, face scrunched up. “Do kids normally get into bar fights here?”

“Well, yeah, s’pose not.” Jamie shuffled in place, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable. “Weren’t a fight so much. Dad took me in to watch a match and it all kicked off a bit.”

An uneasy quiet overtook the general hubbub and more than one face went stony at that revelation.

“Mate.” Jeff looked like he’d rather not be the one probing further, but had bitten the bullet anyway. “Your, uh, your dad wasn’t the one with the pool cue, was he?”

“Eh…” Jamie glanced around the room before answering. “Well, yeah. He was. But I’m, like, 90% sure it were an accident.”

Chaos detonated like a bomb.

Isaac and Richard jumped to their feet, one cursing in French, the other demanding to know how long it would take to get to Manchester. Colin seemed to be googling train times.

Dani had taken to rifling through his bag, looking for god knows what, and Thierry was strapping on his mask like it was war paint (he didn’t even need it anymore, he just liked looking scary).

Jan was a terrifyingly silent pillar in the middle of the storm and Sam… Well, Sam looked like he had been gutted.

“OI!” Roy’s bellow commanded immediate silence, players freezing mid-shout. He was framed by the door to the coaches’ office, arms crossed and typical glare set in place. “What the fuck is going on out here?”

“Close ranks!” Jamie all but squeaked, invoking a hallowed, sacred vow from the team to collectively shut the fuck up.

All eyes turned to Issac who, as captain, had the final say.

On balance, he decided it was probably best that their new manager didn’t get arrested for murder before the season even got underway.

“Agreed.” he finally acquiesced and the whole room affirmed their compliance sullenly. It just wasn’t worth the forfeit to cave in under Roy’s (very effective) glare.

“... right then.” Roy finally allowed, still looking at them all suspiciously. “Then get out on the pitch and stop wasting our time.”

Everyone clamoured towards the tunnel, eager to escape the intense atmosphere. All except Jamie, who was still hurriedly pulling on his kit.

He tried not to seize up when Roy sidled over.

“You’ll tell me later.”

It wasn’t phrased as a question and Jamie knew better than to take it as one. He slumped in defeat.

“Yeah. Probably.”

#is it crack!fic or is it just afc richmond #who's to say #fic prompts #fic prompt #my fic #jamie tartt #isaac mcadoo #colin hughes #sam obisanya #moe bumbercatch #dani rojas #jan mass #jeff goodman #richard montlaur #roy kent #ted lasso #richmond himbos

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buttercream-princess · 1 year

Text

Modern Will Turner fluffy & spicy head canon x blackfem! Reader

Warnings: Light smut, pregnancy kink, swearing, fluff, edging, mentions of your family members, tattoo's, spanking

(Not edited or proof-read)

Note: I write most of my characters in modern settings, so this won’t be any different. I may write about him in POTC in the future but that’s something I need to chop up. Also first time writing a headcannon, this was fun making, I'm looking forward to doing some more for Will/Legolas/Orlando.

— Will is very attentive and never misses a single thing. Anything you have interest in, he’ll use his own bare hands to recreate it for you. You like candles? Here’s 1kg worth of candles in all your favorite scents. You like plushies and stuffed animals? Build a bear has nothing on Will’s craftsmanship, he made a lifesize teddy for you to cuddle when he’s not around. He’ll even order parts for his creations from overseas, no matter the price tag, to give you the perfect gift.

—- Adding onto how crafty he is, you never have to worry about breaking anything because Will is always happy to fix it for you and he always does so, effortlessly. He’s tactile and amazing with his hands.

—- He knocked down a wall in his house between his office and guest bedroom, renovated the room, painted the walls your favorite colors and furnished it with all your favourite things including a wall hung TV, neon lights, a pink desktop and plants. Just so you can have your own space when you’re at his house. He wants you to feel like his home is yours too.

—- He loves going to IKEA with you, it’s like a playground for him to find things to build for you and your room. When you get Hotdogs in the food court with him later and get mustard on your face, he’ll grab you by the chin and lick the sauce off. Anytime you get food on your face, he does this. Why wipe it off when he can just clean it off you?

—- Will’s intelligence is unlike anyone you’ve met before, but when he’s not using his head, he’s a bit of a himbo, giving off strong Kenergy. He might know how to solve enigmatic riddles quickly and build houses from scratch but he’s clueless when it comes to most general things. He’ll always regard you as the smarter one in the relationship. In his mind you’re everything and he’s just Will. He adores you that much.

—- He has a tattoo of your name and a blue butterfly next to it on his hip bone. This man is whipped. Gone and lost in your love. He’s considering getting your initials tattooed behind his ear.

—- Will’s independent by nature but gosh, he is one needy motherfucker, but in the most adorable way. He’s coming with you to run errands to the beauty store, late night Target trips or waiting in the corner of the salon while you get your nails done. And he’s always paying, he never lets your credit card touch the reader.

—- Will can listen to you talk for hours about your life and yourself. He finds everything about you whimsical, enchanting and seductive. Even if you’re babbling about delusions and made up scenarios, he’ll react with big emotions like it’s happening right in the moment just because he loves you that much.

—- Will collects records that you love listening to. He says, “The record is always better than streaming it.”

—- Will use to only listen to symphonies and classical music before you came into his life. Now, he listens to everything you listen to. He’s fallen in love with Neo-soul and R&B and refuses to listen to anything else.

—- His favorite song is “Stay Ready (What A Life) by Jhene Aiko and forever dedicates that tune to you. Whenever the song plays, he always sings to you, “They say the truth ain't pretty. But comin’ out that pretty mouth the truth is fitting. Cuz you ain't never talkin loud and you know plenty. Yea you know what I'm talkin bout, cuz you just get me, Yea you so pretty”, And he means every word of it. That song was written just for you, he believes.

—- Even though you and Will are just dating and don’t have kids, he always refers to you as “His wife” or “Mother of my children”

—- Will’s favorite part of being intimate with you is undressing you. There’s something about seeing you come undone only and all for him, that makes him want to be closer to you, underneath your skin even.

—- Will love’s quickies and to give you a quick orgasm in the middle of the day. But there’s nothing he loves more than giving you a sensual, candle lit, slow jam’s experience. After a long day at work, expect Will to be ready for you with a bottle of aromatherapy bottle oil, ready to iron out all your tight muscles and kinks. And of course, this massage always leads to him giving you and internal rub down too.

—- Will edges you any chance he gets. Sometimes you just wanna snatch your vibrator off him and hit him with it because he won’t let you cum. But he always lets you finally get off if you ask him kindly. He likes manner’s in the bedroom.

—- He has a pregnancy kink. He always moans about putting a baby in you while having sex. So you can imagine he always wants to do it raw. He always begs for you to wrap your legs and arms around him while he cums.

— He gives you warnings in the bedroom if you’re rushing the pleasure too quickly. Will believes pleasure should be savored and reveled in. Greedily chasing your release and out of warnings? That’s a hard pop to your behind, leaving your cheeks red and sore. But he quickly runs his hand over your skin, soothing you. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. See what happens when you don’t listen? Hmmm?” he murmurs in your ear before sliding two fingers back in you.

—- Only with you, Will reveals how intimidating he is in the bedroom. But in front of others, he’s the most kind respectful gentleman anyone has ever met. All your friends and everyone in your family loves him. He quickly picks up on social dynamics and easily blends himself into the environment as if he was always a part of it. You can find Will at family barbecues, bonding with your uncles over different cuts of meat and taking over the grill, which your father never allows but Will’s charmingly convincing.

—- Will always plays house and dress up with your younger family members. He takes it seriously too. You best believe he’s rocking a blue lid and red lippie with confidence after playing makeovers.

—- Will comes with you to all your social events, he just loves being around you and hyping you up in all settings. You can find him at clubs, bars and music festivals, right behind you, jamming out and spreading the good vibes. He’s even buying you and your girls rounds of bottomless cocktails at brunch.

—- Will’s a fencing prodigy, of course. He also practices MMA. His strength, determination and will is unmatched. You love sitting in the audience of his matches when he’s given trophies, standing the breathless, T-shirtless and sweaty, dressed in his little fitted shorts showing all his business, knowing that’s all yours.

—- After matches in the ring or on the mats, Will just wants to cozy himself up under your shirt, cuddling you and weakly lying against your skin.

#Will turner fanfiction #Will Turner headcannon #pirates of the carribean x reader #Pirates of the carribean fanfiction #orlando bloom fanfiction #will turner x reader #black reader fan fiction #black!reader #black reader smut #will turner smut #will turner fluff #orlando bloom smut #orlando bloom fluff #black female writer

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onmyyan · 1 year

Note

Hi I just wanted to make a request to ask if you could make a Drabble to ask if you could make a gabe x reader as you when you talked about caspians family you mentioned how gabe is compared to his brother caspian or possibly someone else I would like to know more about him in general and about what would he do with a clay maker s/o who secretly knows about the family business and is an insomniac and also likes to sleep a lot but tries to do the most that they can and won’t fall for the manipulation tactics he uses and just says “ you know if you wanted me to stay home you could’ve just said so?🤨

sorry if your burnt out also have as much fun as you can as a 22 year old !!! You don’t have an obligation to answer this but thank you.

A/N: Ello bby i am soooo happy you asked about Gabe omfg im kicking my feet rn!!! I tried to check all the boxes of the request i apologize if i missed any, Also I'm not burnt out thank you for your sweet words i wanna give u a forehead kith anyway!!!! Heres Gabe! NOT EDITED

T/W: YANDERE, MURDER, GABE IS FUCKIN CRAZY LMAO,CURSING

Gabrielllll Mi Amor omg where do I even begin?!

Standing at a proud 6'4 this mf is big. He's the strongest of his brothers physically, and has always used it to his advantage.

Early on in his life he was being compared to Caspian. They looked so alike it wasn't hard to see why people brought it up the way they did but it still bugged him.

Subconsciously he began to act anyway his brother wasn't. Be it avoiding the kitchen like the plague or gluing himself to the workshop downstairs.

Has a voice like warm butter and can sing stupidly well.

Sings/hums little tunes whenever he's working.

Love languages are acts of service and gift giving, he just wants to take care of you.

Terrified of spiders, he will call you crying to come get it.

Loves tinkering with things, surprisingly delicate hands for such a rough guy.

He laughs with his whole body, the kinda loud boisterous one that made other people start.

Snorts when he finds something especially funny.

He has a hard time reading social cues so he's constantly making dumb jokes, especially when he's not supposed to but he's so funny it's hard to stay mad at him.

Charm up the wazoo, the kinda guy where no matter where he goes, someone's coming up to say hello to him.

He's really good at pattern recognition and it makes him come off a bit psychic at times

Like how he'd clock someone's bad mood the second he seen them, notices details most people wouldn't.

Himbo.

The kinda guy where if you accidentally burn yourself he'll do it too just so you could be in equal amounts of pain, is it dumb as hell? Yeah. Is it also the sweetest thing ever? Absolutely.

Wants the kind of love Mortica and Gomez have, unfiltered raw passion.

Morbid sense of humor.

He's always warm no matter the temperature, comes in mad handy during the colder months and means he wears the smallest amount of clothing when it's hot out which is just a win for everyone.

Scorpio male I repeat Scorpio male. Do with that what you will.

Believes in love at first sight, he's such a big softie.

Had his tongue pierced in his friend's dingy kitchen when he was 18, a secret to this day his mom doesn't know about it.

His canines are a little longer than most and he absolutely had a vampire phase.

Likes to bite. A lot. It's a love language.

He confides in Caspian for everything, expect his envy of him. For that he talks to Ricky.

He can knock someone out with his right hook and has many times before.

He grew up working for his dad's approval and that meant getting his hands dirty.

At first his was a bit weary of using his strength to hurt people but that all changed when his Father put things in perspective for him.

"Everything we do- it's to keep food on our table, to keep us safe- your mother safe." And it all clicked.

Violence for the sake of violence wasn't okay. But violence for the sake of love? That shit was poetic.

He's essentially the family's guard dog. If anyone fucked with them? You told Gabe and suddenly the problem was gone.

He loves the color red, specifically the shade of red that came outta' the first guy his Father sent him after.

He was just supposed to rough him up a little but had too much fun caving in the dude's face.

Thinks killing in the name of love is the most caring thing you can do for someone.

Lil bit of a masochist streak. Likes when he gets to fight someone who can actually keep up with him cuz that little jolt he gets down his spine when he gets hit is addicting.

Animals love him, like you got a cat that hates everyone? Loves him.

Likes preening himself, takes about an hour in the shower everyday, since he dyes his hair so often he takes extra special care of it.

He has a beauty routine and he never skips it, definitely sets up self care spa days with the two of you once you're together.

Really good at videogames, like don't let him goad you into any sort of bet around gaming bec you will lose.

He's the second oldest but carries a lot of the weight of the older brother title since Cas wants nothing to do with the family business

Loves taking things apart to see how they work then putting them back together. He's done this to his PC a lot.

Really such a sweetheart but he has a dark side that feels a lot like a caged animal.

He's not afraid to show you this side because he's proud of it, it's kept him and his kin safe time and time again, why wouldn't he want you to know he'd do anything for you?

Does not like large public spaces, he needs to have a clear way in and out of any area.

Has mad anxiety, takes meds for it.

Works out every day, his favorite way to do so is jogging, he loves being able to just turn off his brain and go.

He meets you on one of those jogs!! Runs right past your art studio but stops when he sees you about to drop this heavy ass box you're attempting to move in a truck.

"Woah- I got you don't worry." He said in an attempt not to scare you as he was some random man running at you from across the street.

You'd peak your head out with the sweetest smile he's ever seen. The honest gratefulness in your eyes warmed him to his core.

"Oh thank you!- I appreciate it." Sure the words were simple but paired with that sheepish little laugh brought heat to his cheeks, he had the sudden to urge to fix his hair, make sure he looked presentable because holy shit were you gorgeous.

You're in a dust covered pair of overalls, your hair is windswept, and you still knocked the breath from his lungs.

"Whatcha' got in there?-god sorry if it's personal you don't need to, I'm sorry." He was very obviously flustered but he was so cute it only added to the charm.

"It's some clay my friend asked for- I had some extra from this project I'm working on- anyway thank you so much.." She trailed off waiting for his name. "Gabriel, you can call me Gabe." His voice was deep and warm like molasses on a hot cookie.

He asks for your number then and there and your fate is sealed.

He runs home faster than he's ever run before, like straight to his apartment, straight to the laptop, doesn't even close the front door kinda rushing.

You only gave him your first name but since he knew you most likely worked at the pottery studio he met you outside of he could find what he needed easily.

He wasn't the most technology savvy man out there but he managed to find a few of your socials and made a quick call to a friend, he has a lot of connections and it was nothing to get the info he needed.

He's a straight shooter and texts you asking for a coffee date that night.

You accept, and despite not usually entertaining men you'd only met that day, he had this captivating energy that had you accepting before you could talk yourself out of it.

The date would be dummy cute, he shows up with flowers and what was supposed to be a quick cup of coffee turns into an all day adventure where you just talked and talked about everything and nothing.

He has you laughing the entire date, blushing from the sheer intensity of his gaze. He was blunt in the way where he said whatever was on his mind.

"I'm sorry- Ima be real I didn't catch a word you just said- the sun hit your face and I had to take a second. Holy shit- you're stunning." His genuine disbelief along with the way he shyly inched his hand to interlock your fingers had your heart skipping a few beats.

He's so into love and the idea of being entirely wrapped up in it.

Before you know it it's getting dark and if he's not walking you to your door he's politely demanding you let him know when you're safe and sound.

The kinda person who makes sure your seatbelt is on or if you're walking on the sidewalk he'll always take the street side just in case.

Would jump out of his coat if you gave the slightest inclination you were cold.

He once balled up his hoodie and threw it at you from across the room like a basketball, like he jumped and dunked.

If you wear fake lashes first time you take em off he the type of dude to be terrified thinking you're just yanking out your real one's.

If he has stuff in his hands and you jump at him he will launch the items if it means catching you better.

Definitely the type to randomly come up to you and silently demand affection.

He wants you to go with him to the gym just to see him be hot. N like maybe give him a reward kiss every time he completes a set.

Surprisingly graceful for such a big dude.

He's an all or nothing type, makes that abundantly clear on the phone one night as he'd gotten in the habit of falling asleep to your voice.

"I want you. Entirely. And I've never been good at denying myself." He'd sound so sure, so certain in his words it made your brain go a bit fuzzy.

Possessive in a hot way not an icky controlling way.

Like if someone hits on you in front of him he has to physically distract himself so he doesn't commit a crime in broad daylight.

Instead whenever his jealously is triggered he becomes a koala, latches himself to your back like a demon, his massive form hovering behind you whenever you went.

"My girl can dress however she wants. I can fight."

Does not tolerate any disrespect towards you or your relationship.

Some girl tried to grind on him at the club and he threw his drink at her.

Petty as HELL when mad, he has a shit list and you do not want to be on it.

Protective as hell, if you indulge his little tendencies (putting sunblock on you if it's warm out, always bringing extra snacks incase you get hungry when you're working) he will start talking about marriage lmao

Speaking of he loves to linger around your studio whenever he can, be warned he will distract you by being adorable so working will be hard but it's totally worth it.

Nicknames for you are : Baby girl, Ma', WIFEY,(almost always followed by a kiss) Darlin', Mi Amor.

He's struggled with insomnia before so he knows a thing or two.

Once you start sleeping over more he notices your nocturnal habits and quickly adjusts.

If you ever get up because you just can't sleep and need to get some energy out he always wakes up.

He can't sleep without you so if you're gone longer than a minute sirens go off in his mind and he's wide awake.

If you wanna watch TV until you can finally rest you know he's right there with you, likes to have you resting in his lap so he can wrap himself around you entirely.

If you simply want to exist in silence he can do that to, so long as he's with you he knows peace.

It wouldn't take long for you to realize his family's secret.

Gabe can keep a secret from anyone.

Except you.

Sometimes his Father would call for him at odd hours of the night, and he'd have to shoot out of bed with little explanation.

You'd wake up to the lightest pressure on your forehead as he kissed you goodbye.

"Shit- go back to sleep Baby, somethin' going down at the shop, they need me." He'd say this cradling your still half asleep face, gently thumbing over your cheeks before stealing another kiss.

He'd come back hours later, the sky still dark and he always showered and put his clothes in the washer before he came to lay back down.

After a while these constant exits would have you a little worried, while yes he was the single most loyal man you'd met and the idea of him cheating seemed laughable, especially considering how seriously he took you, you knew he was hiding something.

Eventually our boy slips up and leaves some blood on his shirt, it was splattered on like paint and yeah at first you were a bit terrified at the concept of your boyfriend being violent then you really started to think about it.

The way he talked about people he didn't like, that look in his eye whenever you told him someone had upset you, how he seemed almost eager to fight at any time.

It made sense.

Then there's the way he talks about his family's shop.

"It's kinda' fun working down there- yeah it can get messy but that's my favorite part."

"I mean Jimmy knew what kinda' businessman pops is- no wonder he die- retired. No wonder he uh, retired. 👀"

It's embarrassing how slick he thinks he is.

It all comes to its boiling point when one day you two are out and bump into a smaller, who at the sight of your loving boyfriend, goes pale as a sheet, nearly dropping the bags in his arm.

"H-Hey Gabe! Boy it's been a minute huh? Listen tell your pops I ain't ducking him or nothing I swear!-" The man said practically vibrating in place, sweat pooling down his flustered face. He was petrified.

Gabe cut him off with a look, his eyes glancing between you and the vermin across him.

"It's Gabriel. Only my friends get to call me Gabe. Do you think we're friends Joey?" You'd never heard this tone from your boyfriend before, it was cold and dry, as if was an entirely different person speaking.

His hold on your waist would tighten when the trembling man looked to you.

"Aye don't look at her look at me, I'm the one talking to you right?." He sneered down, he didn't move and still had the stranger flinching. "Your mama never taught you manners or somethin'?"

"My apologies- really Gabriel, I didn't mean nothin' by it." And with that he'd practically run away, checking over his shoulder every few seconds as if he though Gabe would be following.

"Forgive me, Amor. Some people-" he sucked his teeth before shaking off his nasty look. His fingers began dancing against your side.

"He owe your dad some money?" You'd ask figuring the interaction far too intense to be about a late car job or something.

Gabe would respond honestly before thinking, "Yeah, little bastard has been dodging me all week now he wants to come up to us- nevermind that, let's go were gonna miss the movie!" His flustered response would break all tension, but you'd gotten all the confirmation you needed.

All in all this big bad bastard just needs someone to hold his leash and accept his particular brand of love.

#yandere #yananswers #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere oc gabe #yandere oc x reader #gabriel delmont #gabe delmont x reader #gabe x reader

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starsandhughes · 1 year

Text

Penalty Box— Quinn Hughes Edition (Part Sixteen)

SERIES MASTERLIST

previous: fifteen

next: seventeen

SUNDAY, APRIL 2ND

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, lhughes_06, and 8,552 others

yourusername welcome to my postgame penalty box update show: quinnjamin edition! he is at one game more than the total amount of goals scored tonight in the very sad 4-1 loss against the kings. tonight was what the canucks called “autism acceptance night” which really warms my heart. it’s much better than “autism awareness” because we are all clearly aware of autism.

what DID happen tonight was quinn getting hit up against the boards, something that rarely ever happens! i checked both broadcasts, and both were very perplexed as to how he was in that situation. rough him up, kings! just don’t kill him! i’m all for it!

special shoutout to petey (@_eliaspettersson)! he was given a double minor, protested it, and the penalty was wiped! good for him! he even drew a penalty tonight by getting high sticked by quinton byfield— so one quint(i/o)n was in fact in the box tonight. love ya, petey!

my second shoutout is to akita hirose (@/kithirosee) for making his nhl debut tonight! you were great tonight, kid! welcome to the team! i’m sure i’ll love you when i meet you!

and, as always, shoutout to quintin for not dying in his 29:38 minutes of ice time! and for putting up with me <3 i love you with my whole butt!💙

tagged _quinnhughes

view all 239 comments

_quinnhughes it’s all fun and games until i get hurt, missy

yourusername i’m sorry, you missed a step in this conversation

_quinnhughes i love you, too, y/n/n💙

yourusername tysm continue

_quinnhughes it’s all fun and games until i get hurt, missy

yourusername so don’t jinx yourself you dumb slut!

_quinnhughes right, of course. my bad.

user1 the commentators truly were gobsmacked at huggy getting hit lmao

lhughes_06 rip quinn but that was funny

yourusername it twas

jackhughes top notch comedy imo

_quinnhughes don’t i suffer enough? must we bully me?

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes you haven’t suffered enough

jackhughes @_quinnhughes not even close

yourusername @_quinnhughes just family things✨

user2 the canucks have a new player every game now let’s see how long this streak lasts

trevorzegras have a nice time hugging the glass, huggy bear? @_quinnhughes

_quinnhughes have a nice time getting rammed into the boards by petey last game?

trevorzegras …

yourusername “the woman was too stunned to speak”

user3 i thoroughly enjoy the extremely brief somewhat of a game recap y/n gives us now

user4 everyone lost tonight and i hated it thx

kithirosee thank you! can’t wait to meet you!

_quinnhughes she is in fact great don’t let these posts fool you

yourusername @_quinnhughes s a p

_quinnhughes i stand corrected

_alexturcotte maybe if they hit him hard enough he’ll go feral

yourusername i like your thinking turcs!

_quinnhughes i do not

yourusername aw boo hoo :(

user5 huggy said 😛 but less happy

jackhughes what if i fight him? do you support this?

yourusername interesting. i have not pondered this.

_quinnhughes i’ll win

jackhughes @_quinnhughes i’m bigger than you

yourusername @/jackhughes he might be small but he be scary (like me)

_quinnhughes @/yourusername thank you…?

_eliaspettersson i love you too!

yourusername you’re so sweet <3 unlike some people!

_quinnhughes @/yourusername I SAID IT BACK, WOMAN

yourusername @_quinnhughes AFTER I CALLED YOU OUT, HIMBO

_eliaspettersson added this to their story

#penalty box series: quinn hughes edition #penalty box series #quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes insta edit #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #jack hughes #luke hughes #elias pettersson #vancouver canucks #quinn hughes x reader #alex turcotte #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

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honey-flustered · 1 year

Text

Scoops Ahoy Ken! - Steve Edition Imagine/Headcannon

Inspired by my post which is blowing up because everyone loves babygirl Steve 😫❤️

Ken Doll come to Life!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Warnings: oral (f & m recieving)(implied), nsfw below cut, fluff

So I’m thinking in the scenario where you randomly decide you’d like to buy a doll because you didn’t have a childhood where you got to play with dolls or any toys but as an adult, now on your own, you get to live out your dreams.

So you purchased this limited edition ken doll called “Scoops Ahoy Steve” because you thought he looked so pretty.

One day, you have a dream that he comes to life. Then, some luck of god and the next morning he’s life-sized and alive, sitting in your living room and waiting for you. You’d teach him about life and he’d be such a cute little himbo.

🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦🍦 🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦

Fluffy Headcanons

I think he’s the type to be very possessive of you because he still has memories of himself as a doll and remembers how well you’ve taken care of him so he’s madly in love with you

He’d try cooking for you but he’s not very good at it—because how the frick do you work a stove without burning everything down?

He knows how to fix a mean ice cream sundae, though 🍨

Scoops Ahoy Steve’s lore is that he’s a part-time babysitter so he’s great with kids and he’d like to imagine that someday you and him could have kids, however that works 🤭

Scoops Ahoy Steve’s personality is very whimsical because he’s always wanting to know about the world. Think of him like Giselle from Enchanted. He’s always so friendly with everyone he meets and loves putting smiles on everyone’s faces.

Whenever you’d curse too much, he’d lovingly call you a “sailor mouth”

Scoops Ahoy Steve makes such a great boyfriend because he loves to be attentive to you like a true Ken doll. He’s very supportive of everything you do and always wants to make you feel special

He loves wearing his sailor suit from time to time even though he has plenty of options of clothes to choose from since you’ve taken him shopping. He especially loves the way you look at him when he’s in it.

He’s very stylish though with his Ken doll background and sometimes will coordinate outfits for the two of you

He never has a bad photo or bad hair day. Ever even if you’ve tried catching him off guard the guy’s a model. Meanwhile, he has tons of photos of you in his phone ranging from cute to down right embarrassing but he loves looking at them whenever you’re not around

He gets a job as a manager to an ice cream place and he’s so happy because it’s what he knows and that the real world’s not such a scary place after all

He eventually adjusts better to our world and figures out he’s good at other things like playing sports and making children laugh. So he dreams of some day going to college to work towards being a teacher or coach 👨‍🏫

Again this man loves you. Like he LOVES YOU and will go all out to prove his love and devotion to you. I’m talking extravagant parties, anniversaries, just any event where he can make it all about you.

🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦

NSFW Headcanons

Scoops Ahoy Steve would find your little ‘toy’ and he’d be so curious but jealous about it like, “Do you play with it as much as you did with me?” And it just be such an innocent question but he wouldn’t exactly understand the implications.

In the world he comes from, sex is nonexistent because everything is meant to be innocent. But he knows there’s more to just being boyfriend and girlfriend because he always gets the sudden urge to hold you down and kiss you, rubbing himself all over you

So when he finally does some research on exactly what that means, he’ll do everything he can to study the ways he can pleasure you

And pleasure you he does! The first time he performs oral for you was such an unsuspecting day because you didn’t see him as the type to be interested in sex. But that day he cooked you a meal he learned from a youtube tutorial, gave you some nice wine to sip on, and, of course, he wears thee suit. Then, once he feels like you’re relaxed enough he’ll start kissing all over your body.

You’d be so hot all over but feel like it’s wrong but he lips just feels so soft, wet against your skin after each kiss. You’d watch him kiss down your body, pulling off down your skirt and underwear and you’d know where this was going.

“You don’t have to do that, Steve. I’d love you even if we never—”

“But I need to,” He’d protest, eyes blown from a feeling of list he’s never experienced before. “I need to taste you.”

When the man eats, he’s a man starved. His studying paid off for sure because you think he’s mastered the art of cunnilingus. Every gasp and whine you make would egg him on and he’d do the most to get you to be as vocal as possible.

He wouldn’t mind when you’d curse all that much knowing how good you must feel. In fact, he’d even test some of those words on his lips as he moans into your core.

“Fuck, you taste so good, love. So creamy and sweet.” He’d groan against your core, thinking of all the various things he plans to do with you now that he’s had a taste. He’ll possibly involve some ice cream play in his next tryst with you.

Loves when you pull his hair and grind against his face because he knows he’s doing a good job

But he doesn’t understand the concept of overstimulation and tears of pleasure so when you weeping and forcing his head away 5 orgasms later, he thinks he did something wrong until you reassure that it’s so good that it becomes painful

He’s still confused asking you to show him so you ask if you could return the favor and you blow the hell out of him and his mind

Aftercare involves him just cuddling you and telling you how lucky he is to have you, hands all over your body to remind you that he loves your body as is even when you don’t always feel like beautiful.

We stan fictional men here! Scoops Ahoy Steve as white boy of the month pls 😘❤️😍

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thetarttfuldickhead · 4 months

Text

Top 5 Background AFC Richmond Players

+ some random and unfounded assumptions about them. Listed for no other reason than that I wanted to.

5. Tom O’Brien

Tom, your kink is not my kink, but you’re unembarrassed about being a freak and I respect that. Also, seems you took being replaced by Zoreaux/Van Damme/Zorro as goalkeeper in your stride. Nothing about you make sense to me, and I dig that.

4. Robbie Roberts.

All right, this is shallow as fuck (then again, they’re background characters, not like I have a whole lot of deep stuff to go on), but I just think he looks really hot at the City game in 3x11.

Look at his face! This man wants it. This man is ready. This man can pull off bright pink in a way Jamie would kill for (if he had the brains to understand that he doesn’t wear it as well as Robbie does). Good thing our favourite Tartt is substituted after scoring that goal, because my boy Robbie deserves to play more. (Yes, I could have edited the pic to leave Jamie out. I stand by my choices.)

Also, look at him tapping Jamie’s shoulder as he runs past to take his place! Never noticed before, LOVE it. (Jamie, it seems, does not love it, but he’s a cranky baby who hurt his ankle, so we must forgive him.)

3. Declan Cockburn

Questionable opinions regarding leaked nudes aside, this man is a gentle giant to me. He’s not very bright, perhaps (but this is Richmond AFC, a team of himbos, so who is), and doesn’t always catch the nuances but is happy enough to go along with most of whatever. A quietly caring friend. Good in a brawl. Hums while he cooks. Looks nifty sporting an earring. Probably has a wife and several small children.

(I resent the accusation that my favourite players are mostly players who are nice to Jamie. Even though that accusation is one hundred percent true.)

2. Jeff Goodman

Listen. Listen. Jeff is probably a bit of an asshole (man’s just got that look, you know; also see my next point), BUT just like me he is genuinely fond of Jamie even when Jamie is a prick, so yeah. We’re two peas in a pod, Jeff and I. The lack of Jeff in fic is criminal (and I count myself amongst the guilty ones: we need to step it the hell up, fam). What is this silly Jamie fanboy up to in his spare time? Does his girlfriend get tired of him talking about his fucking colleague all the time? Is he bitter about Jamie hanging out so much with Sam and Dani these days? Does he have a favourite colour? A dish he likes to cook? What’s going on in that head of yours, Jeff? Inquiring minds want to know.

1. Sasha Kukoč

My darling. My baby. My man of the glorious, glorious hair and interesting looks! Yeah, I don’t know. Just. He’s so dainty and seems really cool and level-headed in a way that goes way beyond his years and. I am inexplicably very, very fond of Sasha, all right? Whenever I see him chilling in the background my heart does a little dance. Best background Richmond AFC player because of reasons unknown. I have spoken.

Damn right, he’s prettier than you. He could teach you, but he’d have to charge.

#tom o'brien #robbie roberts #declan cockburn #jeff goodman #sacha kukoc #afc richmond #a team of himbos #i love them your honour #my stuff

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