#this is literally how i feel at any given moment

[callipraxia]

Further Interview Analysis: the "Ford Plan," and Bill's Blind Spot

I didn’t sleep again the night after the “musical Weirdmageddon” post, and wrote a lot of loopy stuff the next day, and posted none of it. But then I slept, so yay, time for an attempt at some actual analysis! Original interview is, as before, here, with credit and thanks to @fordtato and @hkthatgffan.

"I think that Bill was trying to find Ford, but I think- I always think of Bill as like, this guy who has, like - you know, he’s stirring the pot of soup that is the Ford plan, and he’s got like 900 pots of soup across the universe of different things he’s working on, and at any given moment, he’s so cocksure that it’s all gonna work his way eventually."

Bill’s a trillion years old, so it’s like, Ford disappearing for thirty years is like- [snaps fingers] is like somebody saying they’re ghosting you and then texting you the next weekend, you know what I mean? He’s like- he’s like [handwave] “Ford’s gonna- Ford’s gonna be back. Ohh, [air quotes] we had such a big fight, Ford’s sooo mad at me,” oh, you know, “our will-they-won’t-they-take-over-the-universe relationship, like, he’s gonna- he’s gonna march off in a huff, and he’ll be back, ‘cause we’re- is Ford gonna find anyone else in the multiverse that strokes his ego as well as me?” Is there anybody else in the universe that’s gonna make Ford feel as important as Bill? No, of course not, Ford needs validation, and so Bill knows Ford’s gonna be back eventually. 

...so, Bill still had a "Ford plan," did he? Like, some active plan that involved using Ford in some way to escape the Nightmare Dimension? Interesting.

I always interpreted his cliche-villain-gloating routine when Ford confronts him about being a liar as the point where Bill was ready to discard Ford altogether. If he had wanted to - if he could have been bothered - after all, he probably would have had a very high chance of somehow manipulating Ford out of the realization that he'd been played: Ford had been literally worshiping Bill a few days earlier. He was basically a cultist, and he was not only someone who'd spent way too long talking to Bill, he was also someone who could only confront Bill on Bill's turf, so to speak. But Bill didn't even try to turn it all around, because (ran my reasoning) he'd gotten what he really needed: the Portal existed, and you can't close Pandora's box. The technology was there. It would not, from Bill's trillions-of-years perspective, have taken very long to find some way to manipulate someone else into rebuilding the Portal once it existed even given Ford's attempts to hide the plans. Bill was scribbling on the Journal in invisible ink after Ford's last entry, before he buried it but after he wrote all about his plans in some detail, even drawing a map to J2. The Journal separation plan would have been laughably easy for Bill to work around. So at that point, I assumed that the only reason Bill didn't arrange for Ford to - if I may be blunt - kill himself the first time he blacked out was because Bill was basically getting off on the psychological torture and wanted to see how long he could keep it going/enjoy himself until Ford literally died of exhaustion. Ford certainly seems to think he'd have been killed if he had lost the game of 'hide and seek' in the asteroid field. I thought the idea that "Bill used Ford until he used him up, and now he was done with him" was basically canon, and that Bill paid no more attention to him from that point onward than you would pay to a broken Solo cup in the trash until Ford did something unexpected - ie, survived the Multiverse, came back with a death ray, apparently took out a few Henchmaniacs, almost shot Bill himself, and then survived the experience.

But here we have what I suppose amounts of authorial commentary which seems to directly contradict the idea that Bill didn't even regard Ford was worth finding and/or killing. Bill was looking for Ford, all those years - not all that intently, apparently, or really very long from Bill's point of view, of course, but still - and Bill still had a plan for Ford. Bill also, if I'm reading that right, seems to have really just expected Ford to come back, of his own free will, to join him eventually, not to kill him.

Of course, it's possible I'm reading that wrong, and Bill just knew that killing him would also give Ford a massive ego boost and that Ford would have to eventually reenter his orbit in order to attempt to do so. It's also true that Bill just not being able to accept rejection in no way, by itself, implies he wasn't planning to go "hahahaha, no" and kill Ford fifteen seconds after he finished begging Bill for forgiveness. But the 'Ford plan' bit seems to undermine that. Let's assume the hesitations and half-sentences are Hirsch improvising, not Bill actually cutting off a thought he might not like the end of. So was Bill genuinely never planning to kill Ford after he bumbled into the Nightmare Realm back in '82? And if not - what in the world was he planning to do to him once one of the Henchmaniacs caught him, then? And why do I have the feeling that whatever it was would have made murder seem both a) kind and b) not at all disturbing by comparison?

Also gives us, in a way, some insight into Bill. Kinda. We've always known that there's this...level, this very deep, seldom-relevant but very important level, on which Bill doesn't quite understand how people work. We see it primarily in the mistakes that Bill makes with Stan and Mabel. Maybe there was nothing he could have said or done in the situation with Stan to save himself, Stan had reached the point of literally suicidal determination and there's really not much you can do to budge someone at that point and especially not once their consciousness has already caught fire, but with Mabel - in Sock Opera, all Bill needed to do to win was keep his mouth shut for three more seconds. He was clever enough to see how Dipper and Mabel's relationship could be exploited to get Dipper to do what he wanted, but he did the exact opposite of what he should have done to get Mabel to do what he wanted, because for one thing he underestimates Mabel and for another...it comes back to that elusive Thing that Bill can't or won't understand about the deeper levels of humans. Or maybe it's Things, plural, and a distinct one for each person, but there's something there at the bottom of the personality that Bill apparently can't jive with.

With Ford, for instance, he clearly underestimates the power of genuine self-hatred and remorse. Bill may feel bad in some way about what he did to his homeworld, but look at the actual words of the Axolotl's prophecy: he feels that way not because he has realized at some point that what he did was fundamentally wrong, but because he wants to go home and can't. Essentially, his regret is for his own inconvenience. And in a lot of ways, I can see how that could have translated into him feeling he did, in fact, know all he needed to know to push Ford's buttons, because while it's never spelled out for us, it seems, based on his habit of carrying around family photographs on his person apparently since college despite not getting on well at all with his family, that there was maybe some tiny part of Ford that also wanted to "go home," and not just to flip off the town. Ford was also someone who deeply feared the consequences of his actions, if you read between the lines in the Journal - his worries about a 'Close Encounter' with the government, his scrawling that he must not lose his nerve on some early Portal notes, his talking more and more about Fiddleford losing his nerve in a way that starts seeming kind of projection-y - and Bill could certainly understand that fear perfectly well: we see Bill panic outright in the finale when he realizes he's out of options he's going to remotely like. In the unlikely event Stan would or even could save him, Stan obviously wouldn’t have done so so on Bill's own terms: Bill would have been stuck making an honest deal for once, or else left with the options of "die" and "take a one-in-a-million shot and do his invocation of the 'Ancient Power,' possibly putting himself squarely into the hands of an enemy whose full aims he probably does not know." But then, that's Bill's flaw - the things that drove him to become what he did were revenge and the fear of Death, of the ultimate loss of control. His arrogance makes him think he can take most any situation, no matter how disadvantageous it might seem, and twist it around sooner or later, but Death - well, that's it, ain't it? Or, as Horace might say in a really old translation:

When life is o'er, and Minos has rehearsed The grand last doom, Not birth, nor eloquence, nor worth, shall burst Torquatus' tomb.

(Horace, Ode 4.7. The Odes and Carmen Saeculare of Horace. John Conington. trans. London. George Bell and Sons. 1882.)

Bit different from most translations I've read, but close enough and in the public domain I believe, so we'll go with that. It's possible that Bill's...unique...state of existence may actually make dying an even more terrifying prospect for him than it for the rest of us. He became what he was to escape limitations, including mortality - but after all that killing and burning and transformation, he found out that he might not ever die, but that he could still be destroyed. And even when he found his own 'territory', it started decaying around him, which proved that dimensions, too, can die even if nobody is apparently actively trying to destroy them. What happens to him then? That's what he's afraid of, and he cannot quite grasp that others might be able to overcome that fear in service of either another principle or another fear. That's where he keeps running into trouble in the series timeline, too. It never occurred to him that Gideon might have enough humanity to want Mabel to actually care about him, instead of just about possessing her - much less that Gideon could want that enough to risk death for it. It was inconceivable to him that Dipper and Mabel could voluntarily turn their backs on even a blatantly false paradise to willingly walk into a living hell, just because it was the right thing to do. And as for Ford and Stan....

Well, on one level, he's right about Ford. When he met Ford, they did have certain things in common: frustration, ambition, deep and secret regrets, loneliness, and fear of facing the consequences. Ford's desire for respectability and honor from those who had rejected him his whole life may have extended this even further for him than it went for Bill in some ways: he couldn't even admit to himself that what he was doing was totally self-interested, whereas Bill, like Stan, has long since come to terms with his own selfishness. And like Bill, Ford probably didn't even have the ability to see that no matter what he did, it would never be enough, and would never really satisfy him. But death? Ford doesn't fear death. Never really has, as far as I can tell, but he certainly doesn't now. The way he lives his life, the man might as well be courting death - sending it roses every week and buying all its drinks at the bar, so to speak. He and Bill both fear the consequences of their actions, but 'consequences' are a category, and it's just as possible to be afraid to live as it is to be afraid to die. And Stan...Stan is harder to be sure of. Certainly Stan's priority is always for self-preservation. He's probably depressed to some degree, and he will risk life and limb without hesitation when he perceives a threat to that which he loves, but that's something that usually happens in a crisis. He doesn't hesitate because he doesn't think about what he's doing, which is what makes the Final Deal such an incredible gesture for me - he not only had plenty of time to think about what was going to happen, but he had to actively take steps himself to enable it to happen. To me, at least, that seems the hardest thing...but then, the whole situation in the Fearamid is one that brings to mind some of my worst fears, to the point that I find the scene difficult to watch and I almost scrapped an entire 22,000-word story once just because it required me to write about a small part of it. I'm sure Bill risked death, in some fashion, to become what he is, and I'm sure he was afraid of failure every time - but he was less afraid of a bad outcome that might come from leaping at the chance for some semblance of life, any semblance of life, no matter what that might look like or how long the odds might be, than he was of doing what he knew would lead to...wherever even destructible gods go, when they go. This is why the Stans were the thing he couldn't account for, really. He couldn't conceive of having a priority higher than self-preservation, of overcoming his worst fear - and that was what destroyed him. Maybe, anyway.

It's sort of funny, actually - I started writing a completely different post yesterday about how to develop a new character based on some of Hirsch's remarks, and in the course of it, I made the remark that I found it hard to fathom how you could write any of Gravity Falls, at all, without knowing ahead of time that it is the story of (if I can make so bold as to quote my own story's dialogue) "the Faustus of New Jersey and His Knucklehead Brother and the Hazard Sign From Hell," and without at least a fairly good understanding of who those three people are and how they got there. If one looks at the story that way, I suppose you could say the events after their starting situation are also the story of these three being thrown up against the places where their real deepest fears lie, and seeing who has something he really, really will not compromise on...or at least, it did at the start of this paragraph. But did any of them, really? Bill blatantly fails that test, of course - Bill runs, just like he's been, in a way, running for his entire miserable existence. Ford comes close to what might have been a couple of breaking experiences for him - either surrendering to Bill or, had the memory wipe worked the way he thought it would, with living with whatever the fallout of essentially killing his brother would have been - but the universe was kind and stacked the deck just enough to let him cheat his way out of that one, at least for the most part. But what about Stan? He didn't want to die, but we already knew that he'd risk it for the kids, because we've seen him do that before. The way he went about it this time arguably took more courage than the others, when he just went in swinging at an immediate and obvious threat, but it was still an escalation on an established thing. Stan's real worst fear isn’t death - it’s of being alone again, of losing his family. That's the principle that overrides self-preservation for him. What would have happened if he'd been in Ford's shoes - required to take up the role not of the sacrifice, but of the one who performed it, giving up one member of the family to save the others? Could he have done that?

...though that is wandering from the topic I was originally talking about, isn't it. Which was that yeah, Bill is, in his way, as fallible as anyone else despite his immense resources - which is gonna be a fun topic to get into when I get around to the post in this series about writing higher intelligences, but that's also not the point, which was that Ford was never going to go back to Bill the way Bill thought he was, because Bill's inability to understand other people's ability to do things that he can't is a serious blind spot for him. It's the thoughts he can't have that doom him (probably...hopefully, anyway...), fortunately for the rest of us.

#gravity falls #gravity falls characters #ford pines #stan pines #bill cipher #gravity falls analysis #inspired by the Hirsch interview #rambling happened #my ramblings

[el-tur-el]

Could I request nsfw headcanons for Haarlep, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor with female Tav who has a praise kink?

Nonnie, I was genuinely elated to receive this request - thank you for feeding my brain worms.

NSFW CONTENT BELOW CUT. MINORS DNI.

Tiefling Bachelors (+ Haarlep) with F!Tav who Has a Praise Kink

Haarlep

They are a relentless tease. The moment they manage to discover that Tav enjoys praise, they're weaponizing their findings.

Perhaps it's whispered in her ear while she's going about her business in the House of Hope - breathy and quiet, compliments on her appearance, on how well she's completing her tasks. Haarlep thrills in the shiver it sends through her, the way she tenses and her cheeks flush. When she confronts them, they play innocent - they were simply complimenting her, darling, really, what's all the fuss about?

It's worse in the bedroom. Bits of adoration, groaned out in the heat of the moment - that she's a good girl, that she's taking them so well, that she's ever-so-pretty spread out on the bed for them.

More than happy to indulge her, just don't expect them to be fair about it.

Rolan

I am a firm believer in switch!Rolan supremacy, and so I think the way he would go about this would depend largely on what role he's taking on on any given day.

If he's submissive, it's all needy whines of how good she's making him feel, how grateful he is for her, of how only she can make him feel like this.

His back arched off of the bed, clawed fingers digging into her back as she has her way with him, practically panting in her ear as he whimpers out a thin 'thank you'.

If he's dominant - as rare an occasion as that may be - he's tactful, I think. He knows how to be a smug little shit, that's quite literally cannon, and I think he revels in his ability to make them squirm with little more than his words.

He's careful and deliberate with dishing it out. A hand tangled in her hair as she's on her knees for him, a soft murmur of 'good girl'.

Undressing her and kissing every inch of skin as it comes into view, whispering compliments against her skin.

Probably gives instruction and praises her for complying. "Lie back for me, just like that. Good. Look at you, such a vision."

Dammon

This man is a service top. Oh yeah, he can work with this.

He's fast and loose with it - perhaps overeager to indulge her in this. Constantly murmuring compliments against her skin, voice husky in her ear as he pushes into her - such a good girl, taking him so well, so perfect for him.

Is nothing but genuine, too. He really does think the world of her - why wouldn't he sing her praises?

Firmly believes in 'rewards' if she 'does well' during a session, for being so good for him. Will lie with his mouth between her thighs for hours if she lets him, babbling about how good she tastes, how much he loves her.

Literally just so so warm about the whole thing. He loves her, he loves doing things for her, of course he'll praise her if that's what she wants.

Zevlor

I HAVE THOUGHTS.

He knows the value of positive reinforcement - he used to be a soldier, after all.

He probably discovers it by accident one day, honestly. Perhaps he's helping her with combat technique, and when she finally gets a particularly difficult maneuver correct, he beams and offers her a low, "Very good."

It was meant to be innocuous, but he doesn't miss the way her cheeks flush, the way her breath catches in her throat.

He's too polite to say something then and there, but he quietly pockets away the information for later.

For context here, I HC that Zevlor is very much a dom, though he occasionally lets his partner assume the role - he does like to be pampered, from time to time.

He tentatively tries it out the next time they're intimate - nothing brazen, just a soft sort of reverence as he undresses them; ample compliments, warm and gravelly and low.

And when they have the same reaction as before, only amplified, he knows that he's on to something.

He gets a little bolder about it - a low groan of 'good girl' when she rides him, a gentle, 'I know, love, but you're doing so well for me' when his teasing proves a little too much for her.

I propose to you the following: Zevlor is 100% the type of guy to talk her through it.

'Just like that', 'So beautiful', 'Come for me, sweetheart. Good girl'.

In summary: I am normal about this man.

#bg3 #rolan bg3 #rolan x tav #bg3 rolan #bg3 x reader #bg3 x tav #dammon bg3 #dammon x tav #zevlor x tav #zevlor bg3 #haarlep x tav #haarlep bg3

[lovemyromance]

Idk what's so hard to understand.

Nobody would have an issue with Elucien being endgame if ELAIN WAS INTO IT!!

If she had shown any sign of attraction to Lucien, nobody would be out here questioning if the cauldron was wrong. Nobody would even think about Elriel if SJM had given us SOME sign that Elain feels strongly for Lucien.

But she didn't. She went out of her way to write Elucien moments as uncomfortable and how they avoid each other. She wrote more scenes with Elriel than with Elucien (even counting their mainly negative reactions to each other).

If that bonus chapter had been written with Elain breathing "Yes," to Lucien wanting to kiss her - Again - nobody would have a problem!!

You can comb through canon to find any scrap of heavily extrapolated evidence to try to prove Elain does want Lucien, but right now - it has been made VERY clear she is into Azriel.

And the fact that there are people denying that is crazy.

If you are shipping Elucien because you think they could be cute together or end up together someday or if you like their aesthetic - that is fine! No problem!

What there is an issue with is people outright claiming Elriel has nothing in canon and Azriel is an incel because he likes Elain and Elain doesn't really want Azriel she's just acting out (what is she? A toddler throwing a tantrum smh ?) because she's afraid of the mating bond with Lucien.

Why do I always see so many Elriels acknowledging Elucien as a ship, but Eluciens always doing the most to claim Elriel is more of a siblings relationship or they are just horny and stupid?

When Elriel is literally the only ship right now ready to gnaw at the bars of their enclosures to get to each other??

Make it make sense.

#elriel #azriel #elain archeron #elain x azriel #acotar #pro elain #elain

[figs-oliomedley]

Zane has been getting shafted since Season 4 yeah I said it

All these posts about Zane have got my brain a-stirrin', and while it's a bit hard for me to tell how flanderized he is, I realized that Zane has definitely been getting the short end of the stick story-wise.

He was great in Seasons 1-3, peak even, but after that I feel like they ran out of ideas for him and now he's mostly just "funny robot go brrr". For example, every other ninja has had some (as I'm calling it) "cool moment" in the later seasons:

Kai became leader of the Geckles, became Flamebringer, and destroyed an entire Ice Dragon (in a region where it was literally too cold to start fires)

Jay had his whole action scene and talk with Unigami and moment with Nya at the end of Season 14

Nya and Cole had their respective seasons they honestly ate fr

and Lloyd had the Oni Trilogy, and after S10, had his subplot with Akita (if that qualifies enough for a cool moment)

the closest things Zane has had to a "cool moment" is when he defeats Aspheera (which didn't last long enough to count imo), when he was the Ice Emperor (oh cool is he gonna self reflect on this or have some internal dilemma NO), or that Crystalized scene, which is honestly mostly a Pixal moment if anything.

He's kinda just there tbh, and hasn't really been given any story arcs or major focus for a long time (not counting the Grief episode, tho I barely remember that so I won't comment on it).

I could go on an even longer ramble, but tldr, after Zane blew up in Season 3, I think they ran out of big things for him to do (both action and emotional-wise)

#bro he professed his love to robo girl and proved he was more than a machine what do you do #Cole Ninjago moment #on account of they didn't give Cole a season for a long time #I think the Zane thing is because he doesnt have a “thing” they can focus on #like each character has some kind of “extraness” to them except Cole and Zane #and Cole has his Family + caring thing #what's left for Zane :V #idk maybe I'm talking hoopla #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago spoilers #ninjago #dragons rising spoilers #ninjago zane #zane julien

[melanatedeuph0ria]

the boy is mine ⋆˙⟡♡

rick grimes x black!fem! reader

since he’d arrived in alexandria, you and rick have gone from complete strangers to close friends. you’d proven to be extremely useful to his team-after all, you were a great shot and had skin tougher than steel. but now, you’ve started seeing rick in a different, more romantic light. will your newly-developed crush on the police officer be reciprocated as you’d dreamed?

summary: you and rick go on a run for supplies. some hidden feelings get uncovered along the way.

NOTE: this fic takes place in alexandria era BEFORE negan (i’m guessing like s6 bc i forgot)

a/n: MY FIRST FIC EVER AAAAA i’m hoping its ok bc i’m literally just going w the flow lmao

also sorry ts took so fucking long i still have school n stuff guys 🙏🏽😞

genre: fluff, angst, hurt, comfort idk

warnings: blood, zombies, cursing, use of n word, near-death experience

“y/n! you ready to head out?”, rick yelled as he leaned against a silver sedan parked in front of Alexandria’s gates.

after finding yourself caught in a conversation with maggie and glenn, you quickly swooped your head around to acknowledge the gruff man, your eyes widening at the sound of his southern drawl lingering on your name.

“yeah, I’m comin’!” you croaked, creasing your lips into a nervous smile. after a moment, you made your way over to his car, backpack slung over your back.

you and rick were headed to a small, nearby grocery store that an old-time alexandrian claimed was hidden away from the frequent commotion of the town. there was a 50/50 chance that it might’ve or might’ve not been looted, but you both weren’t willing to skimp out on this rare opportunity. after all, the community was running short on food and supplies-it started getting obvious that it was once people were given smaller portion sizes than normal.

and it was you who, stupidly enough, agreed to check out the area with none other than your best friend you’ve been harboring a crush on, rick grimes.

you were intrigued with the man from the moment he stepped foot into alexandria-he lowkey terrified you, him AND his group, but that only sparked your urge to get to know them a bit more. you didn’t actively seek interaction with them- it was by really by circumstance when you had the chance to kinda intermingle with them all. you forgot how you and rick even met each other, to be honest. he knew you were a good shot and had skin tough as nails, that’s for sure. you had grown into something of a maternal figure for Carl, his teenage son, although it took a while for him to finally warm up to you. you couldn’t blame him, to be honest. you knew he’d been through some rough shit-he told you about his mom and what he was forced to do to her after she’d been bitten and just delivered judith, his month-old half-sister. nonetheless, you and rick were both each other’s rocks; he cared for you unlike anyone else in alexandria, and you adored certain things about him-his deep, southern voice when he gently called your name. the traces of vanilla and bourbon cologne left on his clothes despite sweating all day-most of the time he didn’t even bother trying to put it on, but the days he did, you subconsciously noticed. him surprising you with 90’s rnb album CDs that he’d snatched on his runs- once he’d surprised you with a whole erykah badu album, and since then, you’ve kept it under lock and key inside your nightstand. his damp, ruffled hair as he stops by your house for a towel to dry it off because he never seemed to have any of his own; you let him in without much question, of course, but for the past few weeks he’s been on your porch steps, your heart’s been pumping at speeds you’ve never experienced before-at least, not in a while-a zombie apocalypse ruins one’s concept of love when the one you’re in love with can slip from your fingers in a heartbeat.

but could it be? could you really be in love with your best friend in a zombie apocalypse? you were sure of it, but horrified to know if he felt the same, which is why you didn’t even realize your leg was was anxiously bouncing up and down on the floor of the car until…

“y/n. you alright?”

“huh? oh y-yeah, i’m good. what’s wrong?”

“nothin’, you’re just..extra quiet.”

“do i need to start talkin’?” you didn’t mean for that to come off as rude as it did. you were just nervous, nervous about what he’d tell you if you told him how you truly felt.

“no, no, it’s fine. you don’t gotta say nothin’ if you don’t feel like it.”

aww shit, now i feel bad, you thought. you tried your hardest not to sink into the car seat in shame so he wouldn’t notice yet another thing off about you today. you tilted your head to the window.

“we made it.” in what seemed like a flash, you and Rick were parked outside the convenience store. did you zone out that hard? not that it mattered anymore. you climbed out of the car and you both took a closer look at the store. it was abandoned all right-at least, it could’ve just looked that way-but it still looked intact. untouched by the world. you hoped that would also apply to whatever awaited inside.

bigger than what i thought it’d be, you thought as you peered at the building.

“bigger than i thought it would be.” rick said aloud.

is this nigga reading my mind..? you thought. “let’s just hope there’s no walkers on the inside.” you said in an attempt to reassure yourself that there were no undead lurking around.

You looked back at Rick for a response or some sort of agreement, but when you did, out of the corner of your eye you saw him damn near snap his neck just to stare back at the store. he cleared his throat loudly. the gesture alone radiated an anxious energy, something you had almost never sensed in the man since knowing him. it was kinda like he was afraid of getting caught…wait…

..was rick staring at you? and how long had you gone without even noticing?

if he was staring, it certainly wasn’t for no reason. you are undoubtedly stunning, so much in fact that some people were envious of your beauty before and during the apocalypse. your rich, brown skin, glistening in the hot, june sun, and your thick, coily hair, pulled into a low puff, were just a few of your most admirable features, both inside and out.

shaking the thought off your mind, you both finally approached the building, carefully peeling open its glass doors and sliding inside. you knew the drill already, but rick felt the need to tell you again, which wasn’t to your surprise at this point. “i’ll take the left side, you take the right. we’ll use our walkies to communicate-if you’re in trouble, i’ll be right there, alright?” you nodded in compliance-you both knew you could handle yourself-but you couldn’t help but bite down a smile when he said that. his low, whispery voice was strangely reassuring, like he cared for you as a lover instead of a friend. you felt your cheeks begin to burn-it’s not really like he could tell anyway, for obvious reasons, but also because it was dark as hell in the store- you assumed the owners didn’t survive long enough to pay the electricity bill.

you were shocked to see that the aisles were just barely looted-you we’re expecting them to show signs of being scavenged at least a bit, but there they were, filled to the brim with food that would just about save Alexandria from starvation.

you clicked on your walkie and held it up to your mouth. “holy shit.” is all that could manage to come out of your mouth right now.

“looks like we hit the jackpot.” rick replied on the on the other line. he already knew what your “holy shit” meant.

with caution, you strolled down the “canned goods” aisle, looking up and down each section in awe. you came to an abrupt stop in front of one of the rows, gazing at everything in stock until your eyes settled on a can of peaches. you knew they were probably expired, you expected everything else in there to be, but you were curious to see what the expiration date read on its back, to see how long it’d been since the world went to hell. you held the can in your left hand, examining the date on its back: 10/18/09; it’d been expired a year before the apocalypse even began…

didn’t think it’d be that expired.., you murmured to yourself as you creased your lips into a disgusted frown. just as you began to set the specimen back on the shelf, a loud thud from underneath the rack sent it bouncing upwards, startling you so badly that the can slipped from your fingers and splattered onto the floor into a mushy mess. somehow, there was a walker under there, reaching its pale, maggot-infested limbs out to grasp at your leg. your eyes immediately traveled to the undead as you quickly thought of how you could quickly end its 2nd life. you frantically tugged your imprisoned foot backwards in an attempt to break free, reaching into your leather sheath and pulling out your dagger halfway, but, soon enough, you were met with an even more terrifying scenario. your back clashed violently with the rack behind you, and a walker on the other side, suddenly aroused by the sound and the smell of your human flesh, reached its spindly hand through a wide, open hole in the decaying rack. its hand curled around your throat with enough pressure to keep you pinned to the shelf while you also tried to free your leg from the walker below you.

“RICK, I NEED HELP!” you yelled out into the aisle. it was a risky move and could probably attract even more walkers than what was already threatening you, but you couldn’t get a good grip on your dagger and that was the only weapon you had. calling for backup was the only option you had left.

the oncoming presence of death pricked at prodded at your skin like thorns. the thought that-in that moment, you could be bitten, and all of your hopes and ambitions for the future could immediately be crushed-left you speechless, stricken with terror.

just as the walker grabbing at your neck prepared to take a bite out of it, rick appeared and stabbed it right in its head. just after you finally freed yourself from its grasp, the man noticed the walker on the ground and stomped on its skull, leaving a bloody, mushy mess on the floor, but you were too panicked to even notice.

an exasperated sigh escaped your mouth. “oh my God, rick, you’re a lifesaver-“

your rushed, panicky words were interrupted when he suddenly crashed his lips onto yours. your eyes immediately widened at the sensation of his coarse lips pressing onto yours, soft and plump, then slowly fluttered shut. your breathing, at first rapid and filled with anxiety, had simmered down into slow and steady breaths as his lips passionately devoured yours. almost subconsciously, he trailed his right hand, roughened with scars and calluses, on the nape of your neck, holding you closer than ever before as he rested his left hand on your hip. his ocean blue eyes drifted shut as he explored you, desperate for your touch, before he slowly pulled away from the kiss to give you some time to breathe. you fluttered your eyes back open and waited for him to look up at you.

“i’m-i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have done that, just so randomly. fuck…” rick babbled rapid apologies before a frustrated, shaky sigh escaped from his mouth. without thinking, you cupped his cheek, burning with the embarrassment of his decision, and leaned into him, rewarding him with a kiss of your own; it only seemed fair after he saved your life and your heart in only a matter of seconds. his eyes fluttered shut at your touch as your other hand tangled into his neatly combed hair. you let the feeling of your lips gently pressed together linger for a few seconds before you slowly pulled away. you felt your heart buzzing with excitement but also with relief, now that you knew that he’d been storing feelings for you this entire time. a confident grin appeared on your face as you looked up at him.

“i like you too, grimes.”

-the end. ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

#black reader #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x black reader #twd rick #the walking dead #andrew lincoln #new fanfic

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Sebastian: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE! Sebastian: DAZAI-SAN IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW! Sebastian: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp dazai #i had a moment of divine intervention #and now i can't unsee it #i cant get over the fact that sebastian really said his life dream was to be a feral housewife in a mansion full of historical figures #I WANT THOSE PILLOWS LOOKING LIKE MICROWAVABLE POPCORN BAGS THREE MINUTES DEEP #literally i can take no comedic credit for this gayle is just iconic and sebastian is channeling their energy at any given moment #i dont care if we have to throw e v e r y t h i n g out. i want this place looking like a new mediterranean fusion restaurant by noon. AAAA #ISAAC PUT SEA SHELLS ON THE DOOR KNOBS #THIS IS A DISH TOWEL. WE NEED A HAND TOWEL. WHAT ARE WE BARBARIANS!!?!?! #WE LIVE OUTSIDE. WE EAT MUD AND STICKS. #i love how the poor puppy in the background is just watching them like ?????? King in the living room like 'bruh' while sebas has a meltdow #*looking at vlad's flowers that were sent as a gift* MC CAN WE GET THE LESBIAN PLANT OUT OF HERE #i dont care how many years pass its always funny #i feel like the comparison is really made by gayle's intermittent screeching throughout too #honorable mention: this is also theo when anything happens to vincent #I DON'T CARE IF ARTHUR'S BLEEDING OUT VINCENT'S PAPER CUT COULD GET INFECTED #SOUNDS LIKE A HIM PROBLEM NOW GET THE FIRST AID KIT HONDJE #WHAT? GAUZE? WHAT IS THIS 1632? YOU COULDN'T FIND A BAND-AID? STOP CRYING IM NOT DONE-- #source: “company is coming” / Chris Fleming

[hearties-circus]

Guy that I am. So normal about

#al art #al ocs #imagine me in a locked echo chamber just wailing about denys #thats my head right now #im so fucked up sbout them. because. i had a little thiught #before my reasoning for ehy denys wouldnt kill axel was a mix of professionalism and contradictory feelings #now having given it more thought ive realised its specifically because axel is OK with it #denys WANTS axel to be scared for zir life denys NEEDS axel to be terrified #because thats how vos parents felt. they were scared. they didnt want to die. they didnt want to be Killed. #and little denys was so so so scared stumbling upon the scene that vo was gonna be next. who wouldnt be. wicks parents were Murdered #wick needs to get that revenge to have axel be so so scared like they all were back then #but zes just not. #its been 5 years since axel found out who denys was and almost immediately ze realised that whatever punishment denys wanted was justified #it would be the right thing. fae wouldn't fight it. #so now neither of them gets what they want. they cant. #denys still wants axel to think wick would and could kill fae at any moment but axel is ok with that #i am literally in my room seperate from my family on hogmanay and gripping my glass of blue wkd. i am SO normal right now #denys #axel

[rhinoyo]

can i take you to a moment / where the fields are painted gold

#artz #rune factory 4 #rf4 #rune factory #rf4 lest #lyric from bloom by the paper kites <3 #i have sooo many lest (/frey) n venti thoughts n this replay is NOT helping!!! <33 #(i say lest because i play as him n also i kin him but assume i mean frey in all of this too <3) #do you ever think about; like; rune prana. and how heartbreaking it is from a story perspective. #like. lest just. is in there for days at a time. do you ever think about. how worried selphia would be for him #and ive always hc’d him to have really bad issues with self worth but its so /real/. you know!!!! #he mentions his uncertainty with the kindness he’s offered a few times but!! he does not /believe/ he deserves any of it #and he tries to balance it out with offering /everything/ to the town. he tries so hard to feel like he’s earning it #n lots of that comes by trying to save venti!! of course it’s out of care for her but he also /needs/ to bring her back or he’s a failure!! #and he does not allow himself a moment of rest!! go into rune prana; fail; get patched up only as much as necessary; go back in #because he does not /deserve/ more than that until he earns it. #ITS LITERALLY JUST A DUNGEON IN A VIDEO GAME but LIKE. do you ever THINK ABOUT IT EHEDNJ. #like from the /moment/ lest gets to selphia he’s thrown into essentially a position of royalty and he takes it on but he does not accept it. #his immediate way of paying back what he’s given is through the farm. and eventually that grows into what he can do for /everyone/ #lest of course is given the lighthearted kind caring protagonist personality #b​ut you can SEE he feels so much more than that and he doesn’t tell anyone!!! he doesnt want to concern /anyone/!!!! #I DIDNT MEAN TO RAMBLE SO MUCH EHEJNDM. im just your average lest kinnie i think about him & his relationship w/ selphia a normal amount <3 #he needs a hug <3 mentally i am giving him a hug <3 #HELP THESE TAGZ R SO LONG? BYE <3 THANK YOU FOR READING? <3333

[courtjester69420]

why is everything so hard. all the time.

#if i thiknk about the future for longer than 6 seconds i literally feel like throwing up #like i was driving home with groceries yesterday and started thinking about using those groceries and having to get more i literally felt #like swerving off the road dawg i am NOT cut out to be alive in the world i shouldve been secluded in a monastery somewhere FRRRRRR #WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD ALL THE TIME #like man ive got 3 more years until i graduate and i literally am filled with dread at any given moment that ill never be employed B) #no its great im doing so good im doing so good its fine literally how does anyone go through life with hope for the the future like #it literally feels fake i think theyre all lying about it

[crimeloyalty-arch]

𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐇𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐌⸻ some ~thoughts~ about harley and arkham,  mostly inspired by harleen but also a bit by the mad love novel.

arkham is a place that’s given up on its patients ⸻ sometimes because of a lack of resources (or the misappropriation of them),  sometimes because its leadership is simply unempathetic to its residents,  sometimes because its doctors are burnt out from their lack of successes.  

people don’t get out of arkham,  not by getting better,  at least.  there’s been so few patients who have improved over the last decade that by the time harleen joins the staff,  most of the doctors have lost hope completely.  what’s the point in trying when nothing seems to get through to your patients?  harleen resents this attitude,  unable to see the point in practicing medicine if one has no faith in the work they’re doing.  her fellow doctors attribute her optimism to her lack of experience,  expecting that she will give up as they have after a few months at the institution.  

most of arkham’s funding goes towards security measures,  rather than towards advancements in treatment.  most of its funding is private ⸻ and a significant portion of it is from those in gotham who do not wish to see arkham’s patients released,  regardless of whether or not they’re improving. harleen resents this too,  though there is little she can do about it without losing her own job.  she vows to help arkham’s patients,  rather than to give up on them. 

harleen’s primary purpose at arkham is to find subjects for her research;  she’s trying to demonstrate a link between long-term exposure to traumatic or violent events and the erosion of one’s capacity for empathy.   

she’s on staff neither to provide therapy nor to handle patient medications.  the irony of this is not lost on her,  as she feels she cares far more about arkham’s patients than most of the other doctors on staff.  their apathy infuriates her.  

her research is funded by a grant from the wayne foundation,  and bruce wayne swayed joan leland into allowing harleen access to arkham.  she also intends to do comparative research at blackgate prison,  but does not get the opportunity to do so before harvey dent’s attack,  as blackgate is more reluctant than arkham is to allow her access. 

since harleen is both fresh out of college and not a true employee of arkham,  nobody takes her all that seriously.  nobody believes in the work she’s doing. she’s very isolated from the rest of the staff as a result ⸻ and even when she does interact with them,  they make it very clear that they find her ambition a function of her youth.  harleen is written off over and over and over again,  simply because she is a young woman who wants to change the world.  no one bothers critiquing the scientific validity of her ideas - it is all personal.  this plays a huge part in joker being able to manipulate harleen,  because she is so fucking determined to prove everybody wrong about whether or not she can make a difference that she loses her ability to tell whether or not their critiques are based in reality. 

harleen’s goal at arkham is neither to write a best-selling book nor to become a tv psychiatrist,  like some older comics have suggested (🙄).  she is there because she wants to help gotham.  she believes that if she can figure out how trauma and empathy are connected,  she can help gotham’s criminals,  allowing them to break the cycle they have been trapped in.  she wants to change the world,  not get rich and famous.   

the decision to allow harleen full access to the joker is a mistake.  while harleen bears responsibility for allowing the doctor/patient relationship to erode so significantly,  arkham failed its patients,  failed its staff,  and failed gotham by its inadequate internal controls. 

despite arkham leadership having been fully aware of the joker’s manipulative capability ( and having witnessed his interactions with his prior doctors ),  they allow harleen to interact with the joker alone.  part of this is due to her insistence,  but at no point do they intervene. they do not even intervene when harleen unplugs the cameras for her sessions,  which is such a massive fucking red flag that i truly do not know how nobody was like,  something is going on and we need to stop it. it’s not exactly news that arkham is incompetent,  but the fact that harleen was literally able to sleep with the joker while he was being held in arkham is beyond professional incompetence.  somebody should have noticed,  and somebody should have intervened well before things got to that point,  especially when j is known for his escapes and for manipulating his doctors. 

harleen has always struggled with the concept of professional boundaries,  since she believes connecting with her patients is important in breaking through to them,  though i do not think this would have ever been anything more than a theoretical issue with anybody other than the joker.  she would have upheld her professional responsibilities with any other patient ( which is demonstrated by her professionalism with ivy,  though we all know how that relationship develops once they are both out of arkham. )  harleen would have been an excellent doctor had she never come into contact with the joker,  who played on every single one of her sympathies,  hopes,  and triggers in order to get her completely under his control.

once harley escapes joker,  she works with bruce wayne to ensure that nothing like what happened to her will ever happen again.  cameras stay plugged in.  patients don’t get unlimited access to their doctors.  guards perform routine checks.  she’s determined to leave no more cracks in the system for people like j to wiggle through.

it’s incredibly difficult for harley to sort out responsibility for what happened in arkham.  part of the events that unfolded are entirely on her head.  sleeping with your patient is just about the worst thing you can do as a psychiatrist.  she had so many opportunities to look herself in the mirror and stop.  that doesn’t mean that arkham wasn’t also in the wrong,  as they should have noticed what was going on and stepped in on their patients’ behalf.  no doctor should have access like that,  especially with such a vulnerable population.  additionally,  harley knows that the events up until harvey dent’s attack played out exactly as joker wanted ⸻ he went so far as to steal the file on her research in order to make himself the perfect patient.  she played right into his hand and she had no idea.  it’s insanely messy,  like so much of her life,  and she has a very hard time finding the balance between holding herself accountable and forgiving herself as a result.  none of this would have happened with anyone other than j,  but harley still will doubt herself and her decision making for the rest of her life because of the way these events played out.  i think this is why she is so fucking unlikely to ever go back into psychiatry and why she would retrain in another specialty, such as surgery. 

#i just find it so immensely frustrating how harleen is immediately laughed off for daring to believe that she might have a good idea #because you know what? she is a damn good scientist and a damn good doctor ( j aside... ) #it's not like she's NOT qualified. she literally is written off because she is young and hopeful. it makes her want to scream!!!! #it makes me want to scream too #when u alienate young women u should not be surprised when they turn away from u #( not that harley was.. like.. justified in anything that happened. i'm just saying.) #woulda been a lot harder for j to manipulate her if she wasn't so damn isolated #would have made such a huge difference if any of her superiors/peers had just... believed in her. given her the benefit of the doubt #and i know hindsight is 2020 and it's easy to be like 'well she didn't DESERVE the benefit of the doubt look what happened!' #but i would argue that the events with j would have been much less likely had literally. anyone. stood up for harleen. #cause a large part of the problem is that she literally feels like 'curing' j is the only fucking way she can PROVE herself #it's just a mess #⸻ on the very moment all was lost — arc 1. #⸻ i haven’t met the new me yet — headcanons.

[iamthedukeofurl]

Scott Pilgrim is, I think, the best example I can think of for establishing a setting's Nonsense Limit. The setting's Nonsense Limit isn't quite "How high-fantasy is this". It's mostly a question of presentation, to what degree does the audience feel that they know the rules the world operates by, such that they are primed to accept a random new element being introduced. A setting with a Nonsense Limit of 0 is, like, an everyday story. Something larger than life, but theoretically taking place in our world, like your standard spy thriller action movie has a limit of 1. Some sort of hidden world urban fantasy with wizards and stuff operating in secret has a nonsense limit around 3 or 4. A Superhero setting, presenting an alternate version of our world, is a 5 or 6. High fantasy comes in around a 7 or so, "Oh yeah, Wizards exist and they can do crazy stuff" is pretty commonly accepted. Scott Pilgrim comes in at a 10. If you read the Scott Pilgrim book, it starts off looking like a purely mundane slice of life. The first hint at the fantastical is Ramona appearing repeatedly in Scott's Dreams, and then later showing up in real life. When we finally get an explanation, it's this:

Apparently Subspace Highways are a thing? And they go through people's heads? And Ramona treats this like it's obscure, but not secret knowledge. Ramona doesn't think she's doing anything weird here. At this point, it's not clear if Scott is accepting Ramona's explanation or not, things kind of move on as mundane as ever until their Date, when Ramona takes Scott through subspace, and he doesn't act like his world was just blown open or anything, although I guess that could have been a metaphor. there's a couple other moments, but everything with Ramona could be a metaphor, or Scott not recognizing what's going on. Maybe Ramona is uniquely fantastical in this otherwise normal world. And then, this happens

Suddenly, a fantastical element (A shitty local indie band finishing their set with a song that knocks out most of the audience) is introduced unrelated to Ramona, and undeniably literal. We see the crowd knocked out by Crash and The Boys. but the story doesn't linger on the implications of that, the whole point of that sequence is to raise the Nonsense Level, such that you accept it when This happens

Matthew Patel comes flying down onto the stage, Scott, who until this point is presented as a terrible person and a loser, but otherwise is extremely ordinary, proceeds to flawlessly block and counter him before doing a 64-hit air juggle combo. Scott's friends treat this like Scott is showing off a mildly interesting party trick, like being really good at darts. The establish that Scott is the "Best Fighter in the Province", not only are street-fighter battles a thing, Scott is Very Good at it, but they're so unimportant that being the best fighter in the province doesn't make Scott NOT a loser. So when Matthew Patel shows off his magic powers and then explodes into a pile of coins, we've established "Oh, this is how silly the setting gets". It's not about establishing the RULES of the setting so much as it is about establishing a lack of rules. Scott's skill at street-fighter battles doesn't translate to any sort of social prestige. Ramona can access Subspace Highways and she uses it to do a basic delivery job. It doesn't make sense and it's clear that it's not supposed to. So later on, when Todd Ingram starts throwing around telekinesis, and the explanation we're given is "He's a Vegan" , you're already so primed by the mixture of weirdness and mundanity that rather than trying to incorporate this new knowledge into any sort of coherent setting ruleset, you just go "Ah, yeah, Vegans".

#Scott Pilgrim

[talkorsomething]

Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

#sh tw #(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday) #100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ #im cursed with being a bit too self aware so #i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things #(for legal reasons i cannot say) #and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard) #its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER #BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM #back to my point. #guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat #[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over] #[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG] #so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it. #could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that. #i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition' #really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else . #it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat .. #.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before. #...... #i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me. #it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything #so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way. #anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend #so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice #i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row. #лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together #(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really) #(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently) #so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING

[yueebby]

Dying thinking about gojo literally pinning and hardcore simping for reader, literally showering reader in praise, flattery and gifts because he no longer gives a damn about hiding his feelings, almost proposing to reader whenever he can and reader's just... completely clueless about it💀 and she thinks it's just gojo being friendly. Poor man would be absolutely devastated when he goes one day "[name] i'm in love with you" and she just goes "me too, i love all my friends!" 💀

she loves me, she loves me not! — gojo satoru x fem!reader

contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo (what’s new), highschool!gojo, he’s pathetic but in love your honor, oblivious!reader, ooc gojo i got carried away soz

notes. anon, when i first read your ask i literally started giggling and kicking my feet. that. is. so. gojo coded.

“please reject gojo and put him out of his misery,” utahime implored, taking hold of both of your hands. you think she’s asking, no, begging you to. beside her, shoko nods vigorously. 

“but why?” you furrow your eyebrows, perplexed by their sudden request. “i can’t reject someone who doesn’t like me.”

shoko giggles at your comment. her laughter only wanes when she notices the dead serious look on your face. “... you seriously have no idea what we’re talking about?”

“not really,” you shrug, criss-crossing your legs to find some comfort on the hard wooden floor in shoko’s small dorm. it was late, past midnight, and the three of you had a shared mission tomorrow, but for some reason your two friends managed to rope you into their drinking circle.

utahime and shoko exchanged a significant glance, their unspoken communication raising your curiosity. utahime takes a long sip of her beer. 

“hopeless. they’re both hopeless,” your short haired brunette friend lamented, pinching her nose bridge. it leaves a faint pink mark.

intrigued, you lean in closer towards the two, “care to elaborate?”

“you’ve never once questioned satoru’s borderline inappropriate behavior?” shoko asks you earnestly. you ponder for a moment, trying to recall any moments in the two years you’ve known the snow-haired boy.

“satoru is satoru…” you mumble, shaking your head in denial. 

utahime’s eyes bug comically. she slams her can of beer harshly on the ground. you wince at the loud noise of the metallic can hitting the floor.

“you’re kidding. even i can see through that jerk!” utahime’s black pigtails sway wildly. 

“[name], how about what happened in shinjuku last week on our day off?” shoko quietly reminds you of last weekend when the two of you along with satoru and suguru decided to empty your pockets in one of tokyo’s largest entertainment wards. 

utahime’s head whips back and forth from her best friend to you, “eh? what happened?!”

from behind the dressing room curtain, you voiced your concerns, “shoko, i don't think we can afford designer clothes on our student budget.” the cream-colored silk dress you wore clung to your body, its price tag undoubtedly surpassing a year's worth of your student earnings.

“don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” shoko’s voice carried a knowing smile. “just come out and show me the dress!” you think satoru’s carefree attitude is rubbing off on her.

with a nervous sigh, you emerged from the dressing room. the dress fit like a glove, accentuating your body in just the right places.

bright flashes from shoko's phone startled you, and she chuckled deviously while rapidly typing. she tossed her phone onto a luxurious cushion, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of exposure.

“you look so sexy. even better than the model.” she gives you two thumbs up, eyes roaming your figure. you feel flushed at her praise.

“as flattered as i am, there’s no way i can afford this,” you look down at the dress, lips downturned. “i’d be in debt for life.”

“no need to worry,” shoko winked, leaving you confused. given that her income was similar to yours, it didn't make sense for her to be able to even dream of shopping designer.

a soft thud interrupted your conversation. you turn around to see a blue lollipop rolling on the expensive carpeting of the store.

“suguru, are my eyes deceiving me or is that an angel?”  satoru's mouth is wide open as he shamelessly checks you out. he takes one of his hands and places it over his heart, gripping the fabric of his white shirt. the windbreaker he is wearing rustles at his dramatic movement.

“i think… i’m experiencing a heart attack! shoko help!” he kneels in the middle of the store dramatically. shoko shares an unamused look with suguru. the pair nod before simultaneously kicking satoru.

during all of the commotion, you stand awkwardly in the million yen dress. 

“satoru, are you okay?” you watch him take the two blows from your friends, concern evident in your voice. he grunts softly before gently taking ahold of your hand.

“no,” he croaks with a playful glint in his eye. “i’m wounded and there’s only one way to fix it.”

you look at him, your gaze heavy with concern.

“i’m afraid you’ll have to kiss me for the pain to go away.” he added, blinking at you expectantly with his blue eyes.

 you lightly shove him away from you. “you’re an idiot.” satoru laughs loudly.

“that’s what love does to a man.”

“yeah, yeah. i’m going to change out of this dress, don’t get into any more trouble while i’m gone.” 

 satoru’s grip on your hand strengthens, halting your actions.

“how much?”

“excuse me?”

“the dress. how much for it?” he stands up to his full height, reminding you of the obvious height difference between the two of you. 

you're at loss for words. gojo was crazy, but definitely not crazy enough to spend a million yen on a silly dress.

shoko happily chimes into the conversation. “one million yen. it’ll be two million yen with the rest of my purchases though!” 

suguru’s calm demeanor is replaced with shock. the black haired male’s jaw drops, “two million– satoru, you’re seriously not thinking about–”

“hah? who said i’m paying for your stuff?” gojo makes an ugly face at shoko.

she raises her hands innocently, “it’s not my fault the dresses come in a set. if you want to see your beloved [name] in that dress you’ll have to pay for mine as well.”

you watch shoko and satoru engage into a silent argument. the tension in the fitting room section is so thick, you think it’ll take a special grade weapon to slice through it.

trying to alleviate the mood you tell gojo, “satoru, you really don’t have to–”

“i’m buying you that dress.” 

“o-okay.” 

half an hour later, satoru happily strolls out of the store with an arm around your shoulder like he’d just won the lottery.

perhaps gojo is just naturally flirty, you had tried to reason to shoko and utahime.

it’s been a week since the eye-opening conversation with the two and you’ve found yourself on cleaning duty with said snow-haired boy. it was a miracle that satoru even showed up. he had a tendency to skip his turns, often resulting in a long lecture from yaga.

as the two of you worked silently in the empty classroom, you couldn't help but admire the setting sun. its golden rays painted the sky with hues of pink and orange, casting a warm glow over everything. unknowingly, while you gazed at the sky, gojo's gaze was firmly fixed on you.

breaking the silence, he asked, "have you ever thought about getting married?"

his question caught you off guard, causing you to momentarily pause from wiping the windows.

“not really,” you replied, biting your lip gently. “unless my family decides to arrange a marriage. you know how unforgiving the world of jujutsu sorcery is.”

gojo's grip on the broom tightened, his eyes locking onto yours with a newfound intensity.

"we should get married y'know," he blurted out.

the piece of cloth you were using slipped from your hand in shock. surely, he couldn't mean what he was saying. after all, the two of you were only second years.

“what?”

“i’m saying i think i’m in love with you.”

“oh.” 

silence engulfs the room once more before a soft giggle escapes your lips.

satoru can only watch, entranced.

“that’s good to hear! i love you too– and suguru and shoko! perhaps the four of us should all just get married.” you chuckle into your hand.

satoru can't help but stare at your hand in envy. perhaps if he were the palm of your hand, he’d be able to feel the touch of your lips.

but he couldn’t. he was cursed as a man with an overpowered innate technique, and despite it all he couldn’t even gain the one thing he desired. gojo satoru watched you, eyes filled with a mixture of longing and defeat.

his devastation does not go unnoticed by you.

you were under the impression that he was grumpy because yaga had forced him into cleaning with you.

"cheer up, satoru! if we finish early enough," you continue, your tone highspirited, "we can go to the new crepe shop that opened last week. my treat!" you winked, and that immediately caught his attention.

“like a date?” his eyes sparkled with hope.

you shrug, a smile on your face. “i suppose if you look at it from a certain perspective…”

“great, it’s a date!” 

good things come to those who wait, satoru thinks, humming happily as he starts to sweep the room at an inhumane pace.

maybe in ten years time the two of you will be happily married with eight kids, he smiles to himself.

#kt.writes.·:*¨༺ #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojou satoru x you #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #this is me coping bc of the leaks

[sanemisstalker]

NSFW /// KNY characters who I think cum particularly hard/ a lot. This could have a part two, I'm eepy, srry.

CW/ Non specific gendered/genitalia reader / Cum... like an insane amount of cum / BDSM Dynamic (ENMU)/ Light Gore (ENMU)/ tbh, Enmu. / Cum-swapping (AKAZA)

Sanemi Shinazugawa

-Cums hards AND a lot.

-Sanemi isn't quite sure why is body is the way it is, maybe it's his breath control mixed with the insane amount of testosterone and panic pumping through his veins on the daily, but Sanemi doesn't struggle to get it up.

-he struggles to stay flaccid. He's far more likely to be hard at any given moment. Not that he's excited, his dick is just permanently stuck at half mast. It takes an insane, highly emotional amount to get him entirely flaccid.

-I think Sanemi's orgasm absolutely shreds him everytime, unanimously. Does that stop him from getting it up in another ten minutes? Absolutely not. I just truly think he's a medical anomaly.

-He cums prematurely, but what does it matter? It literally didn't go down, he's still fucking going, now he's just like, in tears about it.

-I think Sanemi's eyes get really wide and he gets lock jaw, and he seethes and he tries to hold back any noise, but it just shreds the poor guys throat, and now he's sore, and it hurts him to moan, but he just can't help it, you feel so fucking good- and all for him? It's all for him?

-Shakes. Sobs. Sounds incredibly desperate, don't let the facade fool you. If he loves you, he's a crier.

-Also physically cums a lot. Not just by how many orgasms, but by how much each time is. I think he's got an obnoxiously low set of balls. He's made to breed, the poor bastard. If he can't let go in you, both of you are covered in it by the end of the night.

-Sanemi has yet to tap out before you.

Kyōjurō Rengoku

-Cums a lot.

-Rengoku has good stamina, but once he cums, he's done for, no more. He can keep going if he really wants to, or if you look like you really need him, but chances are the first round wad more than enough.

-vocal, but in a fatherly way. Sex with Rengoku is probably very... comfortable.

-Until he cums and now you're sticky from your chest to your upper thigh. The range of his shot is insane. He cums buckets, and he barely blinks. His breathing gets a little ragged, and his chest a little shakey, but that's it.

-He needs to go night night after, though. Feeling any amount of joy that doesn't come from stuffing his face does a number on him emotionally and physically. He needs a cuddle and a conversation about... idk, taxes after.

-Won't beg to cum in you, but really, really wants to.

-He always pulls out like a gentleman (if you can be much of a gentleman when you're balls deep), but you can always tell that he wants to see your face so bad when he pumps you full.

-Will not ask. That'd be rude.

-Talks you through your orgasm, but that's another post for another day.

Enmu

-Fuck, I just know he's a screamer. He cums so hard.

-This guy's a fucking mess, but it takes work.

-Enmu is such a good submissive that you're always shocked when he decides to mouth off to you, or when he forgets a command. Not too shocked, though. It's very clearly intentional. It always is.

-He gives himself a bit in between each 'screw up' to make sure he's edged himself mentally properly (very hard, he's almost always some kind of aroused, and he's prone to cumming untouched, so that build up is a little diificult.)

-While he doesn't struggle to ask for things, and his dignity is subzero, Enmu still appreciates a stray chase here and there. After all, it's the only thing mentally stimulating enough for him to cum.

-In any normal dynamic with Enmu, he isn't often left using his dick. So when you've got a spear through his wrists, locking them behind his back, one hand pulling his hair, the other jerking his cock with thoughtless speed-

-Enmu can never cum harder than when he's recieving borderline abuse. His dick looks irritated, going untouched for months previous, and now it's receiving all this attention. Can you blame him for being this loud?

-His legs shake, his whole body recoils. He drools and screams- laughs and wails. He cries with the brightest smile you've ever seen. His hips buck up. You're not being gentle, and he's so, so happy. The orgasm is ripping through every nerve in his body.

-He feels like he's in the sun again.

-He's hoping Muzan can see him look so pathetic. You're just hoping the demon lord stays out of your man's head.

Akaza

-cums like a horse.

-a lover, truly. That's the only word encompassing enough to describe Akaza's efforts sexually. He's a fantastic lover.

-... who can go for hours... days even and never get tired. Every orgasm blows off his shoulders- It's all about you. It always has been, it always will be.

-You've made him cum hard before, it's a rarity, but it's possible... Its just nothing feels as good to him as watching you cum, so he'll do whatever must be done-

-and if that means pumping you full again and again, until you're leaking from every accessible orifice, so be it.

-He'll lick your hole clean, reveling in the way you twitch after your.... you lost count after the fifth one. That won't stop him from tongue fucking you.

-His cum tastes... shockingly good. You like to give him head, and then come up to give him a kiss. He'll pull your tongue down, wanting to see it in your mouth just before you swallow. You always look so proud of yourself. He can't help but reward you with a kiss before you even get it down.

-there's way to much for one swallow. You can barely manage to keep all of it in your mouth while showing him. Your effort is precious, though.

-Akaza looks really good with cum on his lips. It's one of the only times you see him really flustered.

#sanemi x you #sanemi x y/n #demon slayer x reader #sanemi smut #sanemi x reader #demon slayer smut #hashira x reader #rengoku smut #enmu x reader #enmu x y/n #enmu x you #enmu smut #akaza x reader #akaza smut #akaza x y/n #rengoku x reader #rengoku x y/n #kny x reader #kny smut

[gothhabiba]

do you know where are the the best places or mosteffective to donate to help palestinians atm? like charities ect

In terms of direct aid it is better to give money directly to families in Ghazza than to a charity. Charities, governmental and nongovernmental organisations &c., are seldom able to use funds to distribute aid right now, as few trucks are getting through, and none to the north of Ghazza.

ETA on Charities in Ghazza:

Taawon Association (in partnership with the Bank of Palestine) are distributing hot meals in Ghazza.

The World Food Programme (WFP) is getting food parcels into Ghazza, though I can't find them sharing a more specific location anywhere. Donate here.

The Palestinian Children's Relief Fund (PCRF) is providing medicine, food, and water. Their website specifically mentions food relief in north, central, and south Ghazza, and water delivered to north and south Ghazza.

Direct aid to Ghazza:

Money given directly to families in Ghazza is used to help them cross the Rafah crossing into Egypt, and/or to purchase plane tickets and apply for visas so they have somewhere to go after arriving in Egypt.

Help Christians in Ghazza get visas to leave

Help Hala Abu Ramadan's family of six leave Ghazza (organized by Mohammed Samhouri, vouched for by @psychoticgerard)

Help Dr. Intimaa AbuHelou's family of 22 leave Ghazza (organized by professer Steve Tamari)

Help Shayma and her family of 16 leave Ghazza (organised by Fardowsa. You may remember a link to a paypal going around to help Shayma; however, paypal has frozen those funds)

Help Shaymaa's family of 13 leave Ghazza (organised by Shaymaa herself, who is in Canada)

Help Sanaa and her family of 5 leave Ghazza and establish themselves in Belgium (organised by Eyad M, vouched for by Motaz Azaiza)

Help sisters Duaa and Deena leave Ghazza and get medical treatment in Cairo (organised by Shereen Alhayek, @.littlestpersimmon's friend's acquaintance)

Help Ahmed (@90-ghost) and his family leave Ghazza via ko-fi, paypal, or gofundme (@unionfish is offering stickers and prints in exchange for donations)

Help a family of Ghazzan refugees in Egypt get medical care and relocate

Buy an e-sim for use in Ghazza

Interruption of arms sent to Israel:

Palestine Action targets arms manufacturers in the US and UK

Palestine Legal offers legal defense for those who get arrested &c. in the course of protest or sabotage on behalf of Palestine

If you have some barrier to donating or to buying e-sims yourself (someone looking through your transactions, no room on your phone for new apps, don't want to mess up the instructions, don't have time to keep up with what's being called for at the moment, literally whatever), I can buy e-sims and move funds on your behalf. My venmo is @gothhabiba; paypal paypal.me/Najia; squarecash $NajiaK; DM me for Zelle information. Feel free to leave a note about where you want it to go (specifically for e-sims; aid to people in Ghazza; &c.)

BDS (Boycott, Divest, Sanctions)

You asked specifically about donations, but if you haven't looked into the boycotts being called for by the Palestinian Campaign for Academic and Cultural Boycott of Israel (PACBI) and the Palestinian BDS National Committee (BNC), I urge you to do so.

BDS chapters in your locality may be calling for their own boycotts, so look into that as well. Think creatively about how to minimise purchase of boycotted goods (e.g., getting your union to refuse to shelve Israeli groceries).

Monday strikes

The Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) has called for weekly strikes on Mondays. Talk to your union or coworkers about strikes or work stoppages on Mondays, if you can. At least avoid making any purchases (goods, recreation, entertainment, food, &c.) on Mondays.

#Anonymous #questions #Palestine #BDS #action