#this is literally how i sound like irl

[derpinette]

girls being nice to me gets me higher than ecstasy ever could

#SORRY for the corny post but this is how i truly feel not waxing poetic here like literally it does #i just met the cool girl i keep talking about & IT WAS SÅ FREAKEING ÅSUM ^_^_^_^_^_^ YAY #HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY #OK sorry for screaming But i really am very excited... #turns out she is autistic & we discussed our neuroses while eating & ugh she is just as cool as i thought she was #always tell people you think have Swag that you noticed it on them see how it worked for me #i was so scared of spilling my spaghettis but turns out that was exactly what i needed to do to be friends ^_^ YAY #we went to a lot of different libraries together & i got a small old eyeless bunny plush from the event we went to caus i felt bad for it #i even showed her my pony art & i told her about my cringe interest (that music event i like...♯RealOnesKnow ) #& she thought it was COOL.& i felt like it was really genuine & she talked about reading BL LOL we discussed fujos together #we even talked about finding moids ugly #it was so awesome she was so cool & Nice To Me... i feel like i am on CUMULONIMBUS ( cloud 9 ) ^_^_^_^_^_^ #talking to her in person was so much better than online OMG now i wish i really was friends with you muties IRL #i wish you a Girl Friend experience just like this to those who post about wanting them i really do #also the reason why i even like my Music Event so much is because the first time i watched it was with a bunch of women #& i had so much fun & they were so nice to me i keep returning & now that Event means so much to me & I LOVE IT sorry (NOT) #i know this sounds like tumblrina fiction i would not believe it either IDK what to say to make it sound legitimate 0_0 like it is so crazy #to me as well IDK i can barely get over it & IDK if i really want to so um well YAY ^_^ AIMU SO HEPI :DDD

[chemblrish]

x

#ngl my mental health has been garbage lately #can the ex overachiever ever know peace? #im starting to think the answer is no #years of therapy and nothing has changed #this whole thing is so painful to me the only way i can bring it up irl is through jokes #i don't live in the us we don't have this gifted program stuff here #but i was so brilliant so excellent absolutely perfect #being mediocre now is like having my heart ripped out of my chest every single day #watching people do better than me has me on the verge of losing my mind #i know it has to sound whiny and ridiculous to people who never experienced this #but success was all i ever had #successful was all i ever was #and now i have nothing and i am no one #years of being used by teachers only to end up spat out by the education system #all this pain for nothing #my therapist used to say im quite literally grieving #how long is this supposed to last? #how long until i stop feeling so worthless and miserable? #im so sick of being like this but nothing ever changes #ill probably delete this later but i needed to vent first

[bahoreal]

im gonna go off on one in the tags pls enjoy

#ive been going by jay online since i was 13 irl since i was 15/16 and my mum cant get used to it #me my friend and both our mums hung out last week and i heard my mum telling his mum 'i just cant get used to [their] name. they want to be #called /jay/ but i just cant do it' literally everyone else including my brother and my dad uses my chosen name #apart from when theyre around my mother! because her force of disgust is definitely more important than my agency and want to be called by #my own name... i have been thinking about wanting to be called another name like. interchangably with my name #and i think id go with yasha. its the diminutive of jay so like. if we friends i want to be yasha x #but also realising how much i want to have autonomy over my name came from picking a name in 2021 for practise in chinese #and my friend helping me decide between something that sounds similar (林植 cos the first character kinda sounds like my eng surname) and a #more literal translation where i was like the translation of jay is 松鸦 i could use that haha and she went but the 鸦 character is awful #you could be 松雅! its then a pun and makes me sound fancy. and i was so happy just making choices and getting to like #pick my own name that peoplw could use. really a revelation. anyway i was kinda on hold for a bit living at home but now im freer hearing #her go on that 'jays choice of name is so hard on me' rant really made me..... start thinking and reminiscing about my name. and me. u know #jay wasnt even my choice its just my initials that i started going by as like. plausible deniability that i wanted to change my name #i remember thinking more about it when i was younger and deciding against other names Specifically because it would be easier to go #'its just my initials!' yeah. im 25 is it too late to change names #sorry for long rambly disjointed rant. hope this was enlightening if u made it this far

[merlin-wolfgang-trades-hale]

“I may teeter the line between pretty stupid and pretty beautiful, but the important thing being is that I am always pretty!” a very tipsy but not exactly yet drunk, Steve McGarrett stumbling home wanting a smooch from his husband, having just been delivered by the other now out and proud navy buddied who’s op that night was getting Steve home because it’s the only way to shut him the fuck up about his Danno who he obviously missed so damn much, but it’s very much not Steve’s fault that this reunion fell around the same time Danny was getting back from Jersey after visiting for his sister’s birthday. 

Danny’s listening to him ramble about how one of his friends called Steve pretty annoying but Steve corrected him. 

The imagery could be added with Steve tripping and stumbling to the ground before ninja-ing(tipsy) onto the couch desting his head on Danny’s lap. Trying to get comfy and hug Danny while in this position. Telling him about his night, momentarily forgetting his goal before he’s reminded again and trying his best to get a kiss. 

#McDanno #Steve McGarrett #Danny Williams #things I randomly get compelled to write #this came out of nowhere #my favorite thing about McDanno is that you can have so many sides to them #the hot and sexy side #the epic friendship that's led to the best romance ever! #the angst with their individual past. the angst of canon they've been through together. angst of a mix and match! #but you also get the sillier side that comes from just how much friendship is between them #(it's one of the things as an ace that's always confused me about some the mindset of allo's i've seen irl #they categorize romantic/sexual relationships as different as friendships in a weird way that SOUNDS like they don't want to be friends with #their partner....which is odd but for another post) #taken some liberties of giving Steve gay navy friends who are good bros #next morning they video chat to know if their op was a success and Steve proudly shows off some hickies he acquired #Danny comes into the kitchen hearing a bunch of navy/SEALs cheering them on #I like them to be happy in the midst of angst I throw them into xD #but anyway this is an example of how I literally get possessed by a thought or a phrase #and it a lot of the time becomes a McDanno scenario #if it bugs me enough...it gets turned into a fanfic #silly fanfic inspo for the boys

[e77y]

Recently developed such a bad platonic/friendship crush (idk the word for it... I think there's a word??) on this one person I've barely spoken to 😭 Idk what is is... I just want to be their buddy... I want to do silly activities............ Send me memes and read my fanfics............................

#I cannot express how much I know literally nothing about them #and yet. I must be pals #>:3 !!! #I have SO many mutuals from the dndads fandom that I want to be friends with tbh #like I can count like at least 5 who I've semi-Tumblr stalked for a little while over the past year or so #just bc I think they are cool.... #like even before I started being active on Tumblr #or even FOLLOWING THEM on Tumblr #I would check their blogs #I'm sure this sounds insane I just really like making buddies. okay #but it's usually bc I think they're cool and I'm slightly intimidated by them #for this person.. idk they're just kinda easy to talk to! which is fun!!! #it's always hard for me to talk to people online 😭 I'm so much better at holding convos irl or at least over calls/voice memos #even out of my irls I only have a couple who are easy to text..... bc I overthink my messages before I send them lol #so it's always nice to find someone who is easy to talk to ^_^ #not that I have really talked to them much at all #anyway sorry for the vaguepost lol #at least it's positive! and hopefully not too weird. I promise I just think you are interesting and cool 😭😭 #okay I'm still procrastinating on schoolwork so I should probably go. byee #ellyposting #I will also say NOBODY HERE (about the main subject of this post) #/NBH !! #but I love you all dearly mwah

[petiolata]

Tfw u mix up Alexis de Tocqueville and Max Weber and have to delete ur comment 😓

Egg on my face, ive been out of college for too long.

#history #embarassing #life after college #tumblr problems #in my defense I was forced to read both of them and a bunch of similiar authors at the same time #IDK how to keep my brain sharp when not pursuing a degree. Ur not forced to read anything? So even if you read a ton #you're just going down a rabbithole of self-indulgence and reading deeply in your own niche interests for no purpose #which yes does sound like heaven BUT then you end up forgetting who wrote “Democracy in America”. #if i made that mistake in an IRL social setting i would literally d/ie.

[tariah23]

Hi I hope this question makes sense but how would I call out friends use of what might be aave? Im worried about being wrong and it not being aave/sounding like a white knight but I dont want to ignore it.

Hi! And no, you’re fine. If you’re not black, it’s always best to look up terms and listen to what black people say to begin with, that’s the most important thing and if you’ve seen black people talk about a specific term that you might recognize as being aave, simply let your friends know that they shouldn’t really be using such terms in the first place since at this point, viewed as antiblack and micro aggressive because Black people have grown tired of having to talk about this same problem over and over again. Especially when they use such terms directed at Black people. If they continue to use the terms despite being told not to, then you already know what they are.

#I won’t deem everyone who isn’t black a full blown racist for continuing to use aave but it does show that they don’t respect us at all #and that being merely told about how harmful and uncomfortable it is for them to continue on using them while ignoring what black #people are always saying about such topics… well 🗿 #meh #anonymous #tkf replies #what can you do #people still make fun of how black peoples talk but as soon as our terms go viral and turned into stupid internet slang all of a sudden #there are white kids and nbs from the suburbs and across the world running them into the ground and misusing them like hell #and in the same manner #they don’t even realize that they just end up embarrassing themselves in the same way old people try to act ‘hip’ and with the times by #using slang #it’s very… #this is literally how it looks to black people whenever nbs and white folks use it #it’s just very uncomfortable #and it’s even worse when you have them explaining terms and adding their own twists and definitions to terms that they never understood to #begin with #it’s rather unsightly lol #makes me cringe #sometimes I don’t even say shit anymore because I’d see mutuals use aave and I’d go ‘um…. 🧍🏾‍♀️?’ like it’s so… #it always comes back to nbs and whites thinking that the way that black people talk is “’funny’ and when they want to act tough irl or over #the internet they start throwing out all sorts of aave terms like a baby learning it’s first words #the most incomprehensible string of words pulled together in hopes of appearing either ‘cool’ or ‘intimidating’ #it’s… 👎🏾 #funny thing is #the lot of these people don’t even have black friends or talk to black ppl in rl #a lot of them act like they’re afraid of us for some reason and would pull a 60’s white woman crossing the street so fast but be on the #internet talking about some ‘don’t get caught lackin!’ like oh brother #you get how this sounds right 😭!? it’s ridiculous

[vote2]

i do acknowledge i need to watch what i say wrt gender women men cis ppl etc just augh.

#its like. im a trans man 100% i want nothing to do w being seen as a women i acknowledge that. i also acknowledge that I am putting #literally zero effort in my irl life to present as a guy at all. partially lack of resources and embarrassment etc stuff like that partiall #the autism i literally look in a mirror and see a guy #and i go to class go to work and until soemone explicitally refers to me as a woman i think of myself as a guy. so like its this weird #disconnect of what i actually do vs what i percieve as expieriencing in my daily life where i am objectively living #as a cis woman who just dresses and acts a bit masc. lol. #and like that doesnt bother me atm until i get to a setting where i am gendered frequently. then i feel nauseas etc but whatever ill deal #so i always hesitate whenever i talk abt women feminism men makeup beauty expectations etc (also i am mixed thai and white which #def plays into everyhting ofc ofc) as i dont know rly what is like. not fine idc if i say smthn uncouth just i dont want to at all #seem like im doing what these other trans guys do and latch onto my femininity and 'girlhood growing up' etc or like #its all dumb to me ofc im a feminist i consider anything i speak abt feminism free the nipple being against gender essiantialism etc etc #as in feminism (not that women arent/cant be femnists just in terms of im not trying to sound like a woman) and #ofc growing up as and my current life experiences have obvi had a large impact on myself how i veiw the world my political beliefs and all. #but like. im always scared it sounds like im idr the phrase someone else used but a i dont want to seem like im latching onto girlhood as #a failsafe or whatever. its just mm ykwim its a weird feeling. cause like im a 21 year old man and read my posts as such el oh el. #idk its all weird and idk if its a specific to me thing or whattttt it just like. i feel silly sometimes and i dont want my points to be #misconstrued :) anyways me posting this after rewatching and posting abt pearl has nothign to do genuinly lmfao just timing its been #on my mind after that dumbass trans guy posting abt the lonelyness he feels abt abandoning womanhood #after watching barbie. lol and then i saw someone in the comments of some ig quote it w like 30 replies all positive like get a lifeee #i understand it can feel isolating being trans and everyones relationship back to womanhood is diff and complecated but by god. shut up #anywayyyyyssss mmm okay im done whateverr #maybe all a fear in my head and literally none of this has every crossed anyones mind however it bothers me :(

[karinyosa]

there's this queer story hour thing near where i live happening at like a bookstore where a couple authors are gonna go talk about their books and i think the theme of the night is like queer awakenings and part of me wants to go but part of me cannot bring myself to rsvp because i'd have to go alone and i'm scawwed 😵‍💫

#like just imagining sitting next to people who are actual adults and potentially engaging in independent discussion is paralyzing #iddkkkkjfgkjf #AND IT'S TOMORROW and idk what to do #if i had more irl friends my problem would be solved like That #so annoying how anxious i've become about social situations #they have drinks too i think and i think i have a level of insecurity about not being drinking age while for the most part i think everyone #there will be #THIS IS LITERALLY THE CHILLEST SOUNDING EVENT EVER BUT I'M SOOO ANXIOUS ABOUT IT KSJDHASJK #i've been kind of anxious going anywhere on my own tbh i feel like i look like a strange little guy. what the fuck is he up to

[lynxalon]

ive set a monday alarm to go to the doctor because im so fucking depressed i cant imagine anything worthwhile about tomorrow so. wish me luck babes im gonna try really hard to go at all, for a referral to a new psyche+maybe therapist i desperately need meds

#every once in a while i think. what the fuck is wrong with me why cant i just. live like others do #and its like. ohhh ive been unmedicated for goin on 4 years now an that directly corresponds to how little ive been able to do in that time #unmedicated depression+anxiety + untreated agoraphobia is quite literally killing me #sorry to be so depressing on here but i just. dont want any of my friends to wonder where i am one day #im just trying to post stuff so i have to stick to going to the doctor #cause i wanna be okay n shit #no plans to go anywhere rn but im pretty passively suicidal #so ya im just. trying to be okay rn. really fucken hard #not a lot worth it rn. not very wanted around anyways. irl at least. sucks. #not to sound hopeless but ya im just tryin to have Some hope ig #ough. fuck man. its been a long time since ive been this bad off #it was comin and i knew it especially cold turkey off meds but. goddamn i really hoped i could get on meds b4 i got this bad #://////

[rose-n-gunses]

Electric blanket I love you wool socks I love you hot chocolate I love you cozy sweaters I love you peppermint tea I love you cold weather I love you just not when u make me cold <3

#my weather app says 30 FEELS LIKE 19 #how is that even POSSIBLE #(it's the wind chill. perks of living literally right on the water i guess) #it's supposed to be 31 when i walk to work in the morning #(a 3 minute walk across campus but still. *cartoon teeth chattering sound*) #irl #just r's thoughts

[extremelyputridfishbreath]

we all think it's weird club penguin legacy is the first cpps to specifically make a short film about how niceys it is. like a company, right

(update: kinda outdated since the video has long since changed since i last saw it and there are (to my knowledge no reuploads or surviving versions of the original on archive.org), so heres a link to the time they called themselves 'waddle games')

#like. how soon everyone drops 'gosh isnt it WEIRD and a bad idea club penguin rewritten has in-game ads like a real mobile game' when legacy #literally makes a short film of people who probably don't exist irl going 'cplegacy changed my life :)'. (by probably dont exist i mean the #stories were made up for the short film) like do i need to say why an short film for an unofficial copy of an mmo is a weird idea #even well meaning cppses like cp3d run into issues! cp3d was awesome and i love it to bits but even they had data breaches so like. do i #need to say the potential backlash stuff like this would cause. bc like i said theres a reason most private servers stick to trailers at #most and not stuff like 'i let my pet dog play on an unlicensed mmo and you should too :)' * heartwarming aww sound effect * #like. cppses can be fun but lets not pretend volunteer staff are the paragons of safety when they dont have the resources to be even if the #genuinely care. theres a reason mmos that are/were in their prime had HUGE safety teams for the games

[sleepytownez]

Narr but actually the Anti a03 tag is so funny, like you guys are more upset about the site getting money than if an actual person got hurt.

#how come I never see you guys this angry about irl people getting hurt? #huh- #?? #ao3 #pro ao3 #proship #also literally their whole argument is like when people got mad at MrBeast for using money on squid game and not the poor and hungry?? #do you not see how stupid that sounds? #because i bet you - the person angry about this - has not donated to the poor #and fucking no - fics are NOT CP

[lycanthian]

explosion.gif

#i am so in love its unreal. never have i ever before felt this wealth of human emotions so concentrated over the past month and a week #genuinely mind boggling how talking to logan more and more and then dating him has literally made me feel likr a new man. #not that im different or that i absolutely need him to function in my day to day life #but its the richness that being in love brought to my life that was unexpected #i had a thing with another online friend like 4 yrs ago and it never felt like much admittedly. i almost gave up dating when he broke it off #bc i thought there was something to online dating that wasnt cutting it and i didnt stand a chance at meeting someone irl #and that entire time i knew logan at least a little bit but we didnt really begin talking often until like #6 months ago maybe? and just the more we talked the more we clicked ajd i liked him so much but i was so afraid that it wouldnt be mutual #and i was so afraid that even if he is in what feels like a pretty open polycule hed never ask me out or anything #and then he did and my world felt like it exploded into a cacophony of colors and sounds and feelings and emotions #like something had been unlocked in me that hadnt been touched in years. my ability to love. #and with that came some of the most upsetting spiraling intense depressive states of my life. but it was okay. it still is okay. #its only been a bit over a month but it feels like so much more than that bc i feel like everything is so much more vivid now #i also think im beginning to take a very particular fondness to someone else in the cule but im so not stating who or expanding upon it #he also makes me really happy but i dont think im ready to take that step yet. even if it would be a dream come true. #i love what i have now and i dont want to complicate it yet. #a extremely loving and charming boyfriend and a couple of other close friends who happen to also be dating him is good. its awesome #i just. i dont know. i dont know how logan would feel abt it. i dont know abt how other guy would feel abt it. #sometimes im not even sure how i would feel abt it #aughghhhhhhhh. yeah. human emotion. love for my boyfriend who is beautiful and loving and charming and funny and talented. ueh #i dont think he reads these rambles. sometimes i hope he does. sometimes i hope he doesnt. i love him so much #i dont want to worry him with my shit constantly but it would also be nice to worry him with it occasionally #logan if you see this i love you more than words could ever describe. im so happy that ur in my life and that you chose me to be in ur own #gamey rambles #💜