This is a free coupon/excuse for you to infodump on the current topic you’re obsessed with. Take some time away from internet discourse and share with us something you find interesting.
Today I read about Precambrian animals!
The above one is Thectardis, which is an animal so weird we have almost no inclination of how to categorize it. We know it was alive and it was cone shaped. That’s it.
The thing about fossil life from 500+ million years ago is that there often aren’t really any living analogs for it? Many of the animals from that time were sessile, many filter feeders, without much in common with what comes to mind when we think “Animal”—something that moves around and has a brain and thinks. The strata that preserve these animals are very rarely accessible, and these glimpses we have are hard to interpret.
Many of these creatures are known from a single fossil. Many are too weird to interpret or classify even tentatively.
Here’s another organism from that time, Eoandromeda:
Look at this thing. I can’t explain why, but Eoandromeda makes me feel some kind of deep dread. Like...we don’t know what this thing was. We don’t even know if it was an animal. I look at that shape and I want someone to tell me what that thing is. But we don’t know. We don’t have the words for What That Thing Is.
Imagine something so alien, so divergent from the paths life took to the present day, that we can’t look at it and say “That’s a worm” or “That’s a sponge” or “that’s a jellyfish” or...anything. The words for it literally don’t exist, because nothing like it now exists, and we know nothing about it. We’re not looking at different versions of the same categories of creature we have now. We’re looking at something that is too obscure to have a category. We can guess what it might have looked like. But it is so utterly unlike anything that exists now that we know nothing—except that undeniably, it existed.
Namacalathus. Be honest, doesn’t this make you scream inside? Or is it just me? This was a real animal that existed. It doesn’t know or give a fuck what a “snail” or “bird” is.
Learning about dinosaurs is DIFFERENT. We know what bones are. We have them! When we say that sauropod dinosaurs ate plants, we can imagine those plants. We can describe dinosaurs as having a “neck” and “claws” and “legs.” And I think that’s comforting because whatever I feel when I look at Namacalathus is not that.
This one invented muscles! Muscles are okay! I have muscles! That should make me feel better, right!
...Not really! Put it back!
For millions of years these things existed, living their unknowable lives. There was an entire world of these organisms. This was EARTH, our world.
People mostly haven’t heard of these. I think people care less about these strange early creatures because they seem less charismatic, not having brains or doing anything, but I think there is a lot of charisma to the Unknowable Cone Animal, the Dread Spiral, and all the other unsettling animals of the Precambrian.
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𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 - pt. 2
characters : kuroo tetsurō, tsukishima kei, iwaizumi hajime
contains : angst, smut, heavy degradation, rough sex, slapping, mentions of cheating, lots of comfort, they’re all kinda really mean </3
note : the very heavily anticipated part two of the “degradation taken too far” series!! i’m sorry it took me so long, to make up for it these are extra long (kuroo’s is the shortest at 600 words lol) big thank u to @seita for helping me decide what to do for iwa’s scenario!
kuroo tetsurō ☆
“t-tetsu, ah!” you scream as kuroo roughly bottoms out. your legs are thrown hastily over his shoulders as he towers over you, his thick cock now buried deep in your tight cunt. you scramble to push his hips back with your hand, to relieve some of the tension, but he just swats your hand away.
“you were so desperate for me earlier, what’s got you all shy now, baby?” he teases, watching as you attempt to hide your face in shame.
he wasn’t wrong— you were feeling rather needy earlier— but it was only because he was wearing that stupid suit that made his already perfect body look irresistible. maybe you shouldn’t have slipped your hand under the table to tease him while he was talking to potential sponsors, but he just looked too good and you were so horny.
you’re pulled from your thoughts as kuroo snaps his hips into yours as hard as he could, causing the tip of his cock to hit your cervix. your eyes widen as you kick and scream in pain, but kuroo doesn’t stop.
“poor little slut having her cunt wrecked, what a shame.” his words are sharp, nothing like his normal degradation that’s always accompanied by praise. no, right now he’s someone else entirely. “too bad you wanted to act like a dumb fucking whore, getting me hard at a business dinner, all because you were thinking with your cunt.”
tears fall from your eyes as he continues telling you how slutty you were behaving and how he can’t believe his girlfriend is such an “insatiable whore.” the ache in your heart overshadows the pain in your lower body and even though kuroo is stuffing you with his cock, the bitter feeling of emptiness starts to take over.
“t-tetsrou,” you whisper but once again, he ignores you. he says something about how he should’ve just let his business partners have a turn with you and you feel the dam break. “stop!” you scream, finally getting his attention. kuroo halts his movements as he looks up to see your broken expression. “please stop, i’m sorry..”
you feel kuroo gently pull out of your throbbing pussy as he carefully lays your legs down, moving to the side of the bed. you immediately curl in on yourself, letting out a heartbreaking sob.
“baby,” he tries comforting you but to kuroo’s horror, you flinch at the sound of his voice before choking out another sob.
“i-i didn’t mean to be s-so bad, tetsu..”
kuroo quickly moves next to you so he can cradle your face in his hands. your eyes are wet and puffy from crying but you’re still looking at him the same way you always do— full of love and admiration. he starts tearing up, thanking all the stars in the sky that he didn’t lose you. “no, baby…” he says, voice wavering as he starts crying with you. “i shouldn’t have hurt you like this- fuck baby i’m so sorry,” he wraps his arms around you and you both sit there and cry in each others arms for a bit. he pulls away first to litter your face in the softest kisses he can manage. after each kiss, he tells you something he loves about you, making sure to give you all the reassurance you need.
“tell me what to do, pretty girl.. tell me how to make it better.” you can tell by his face that he’s barely holding it together, so you curl into his chest and wrap his arms around you.
“just hold me, my love. we’ll be okay.”
tsukishima kei ☆
tsukishima’s phone buzzes for what feels like the millionth time of the day and he rolls his eyes when he sees your name pop up. again.
“kei, please, can’t you study another time? i need you”
the message reads, accompanied by a picture of your thighs pressed together with your hand between them. he scoffs, getting up from his spot and mumbling some lame excuse as he exits the library and makes his way home to your shared apartment.
you hear the lock on the door click and you immediately feel your excitement rise. however, when your boyfriend appears at the door to your bedroom, there’s an unnerving look in his eyes that makes your heart sink. “k-kei?” you whisper.
“you’re really too stupid to take care of yourself while i’m gone?” his words are harsh, mean, even more so than usual.
“i-i just-” you stammer.
“you just what?” he spits, his eye contact unwavering and making you shrink in embarrassment. “it’s pathetic how desperate you are. you wanna act like a stupid whore? only thinking with that slutty cunt of yours?”
you didn’t know what to say, didn’t have an answer that would satisfy him, not when he was being so ruthless. all you’d wanted was his attention– it had been so long since you two had done anything besides a quick fuck to ease both of your sexual tensions. university was keeping both of you preoccupied, kei had his volleyball practices and you worked all the time.
“and now you’re gonna go all quiet?” his sharp tone rips you from your thoughts and it takes all of your courage to look up at him. “this is what you wanted, isn’t it? wanted me home because you’re too dumb to handle yourself?”
tears sting your eyes as you watch him clench his jaw and scoff. he walks over to you and quickly wraps his fingers around your throat, pulling your head closer so he can whisper in your ear.
“answer me when i speak to you or i’ll leave your slutty ass here, all alone with nothing to satisfy you.”
your body was still aroused, the contact and attention making your head spin but you couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in your stomach. tsukishima had always had a sharp tongue, would have you falling apart on his cock with his sugar coated degradation but this time it was different.
“i-i’m sorry, kei..” you whisper, tears falling rapidly as you try to repress your sobs. it doesn’t work and before you know what’s happening you’re sobbing and clawing at him to let you go. apologies are flying out of your mouth as soon as your boyfriend releases his grip on you. falling to your knees, you bury your face in your hands and shake your head rapidly.
it feels like forever before you stop crying, you hadn’t even noticed that kei had moved to sit next to you and was rubbing circles into your back. his hands are firm, applying just the right amount of pressure to allow your muscles to relax. the exhaustion from your breakdown causes you to slump into his open arms, curling yourself into his chest. his scent immediately puts you at ease as he brings his other hand up to cradle your head.
“i’m sorry.” he says softly, holding you close to his chest. your sobs have subsided, fists clinging to his shirt as you attempt to calm your breathing. he leans his head against yours, effectively trapping your head in the crook of his neck and you feel the pain in your heart subside. “i-i shouldn’t have said all those things, i’m sorry for pushing you too far.” his words are so raw and so sincere, there’s no denying he means what he’s saying. you know better than anyone how hard it is for him to let his guard down like this, to be so open.
“i’ve just missed you, kei..” you admit, sneaking your head out from its hiding spot. his eyes find yours immediately and you’re shocked to see the redness and slight puffiness from his own tears. smiling softly at him, you bring your hand up to his face and he turns his head to place a soft kiss to your palm.
“i’ve missed you too, my love.” he whispers, leaning in to press his forehead against your own.
“i’m here, i’m yours.”
iwaizumi hajime ☆
“where’s your words now, slut?” iwaizumi’s voice is deep and raspy as he snaps his hips against yours at a vicious pace.
“hajime-” you whine, squirming under his tight grasp. one of his hands is holding your hair tightly and the other is pushing on the back of your knee to hold you obscenely open.
“you sure had a lot to say to tooru earlier.” he mocks your tone, the girlish tone that always made his blood boil. it wasn’t that you meant to make him angry, oikawa just brought out a side of you that no one else could. his flirtatious nature and overall attitude always had you giggling and leaning into him a bit more than you probably should have. especially since you were in a long term relationship with his best friend.
iwaizumi sees the far away look in your eyes as you lose yourself in your head and places a firm slap across your face. “look at me while i’m fucking you.”
a whimper falls from your lips as you nod, willing yourself to follow his instruction and keep eye contact. but it’s so hard when he looks so angry, when there’s no sign of your loving, soft boyfriend anywhere to be found.
“what’s got you so wrapped up with that prick anyway?” he snarls, gripping your hair a little tighter as he momentarily falls out of pace.
“n-nothing, hajime, i-i’m sorry!” you cry, scratching at his forearm in a feeble attempt to release his grasp on your hair. “he-he’s nothing!”
to your horror he just chuckles and shakes his head. “i wouldn’t be surprised if you let him fuck your little whore cunt.”
a choked gasp leaves your throat as you rapidly shake your head, his words slicing through your heart. you couldn’t believe he would ever suggest something like that, something so inherently wrong. your heart starts to race as you crumble in on yourself, your thoughts getting darker as he continues to chastise you.
“i know that look you give him– it’s the same look you give me when you want this slutty cunnie stuffed.”
the pain in your chest quickly spreads throughout your entire body as the intensity of your boyfriend’s roughness increases with every thrust. you’re not even sure what position you’re in anymore, your mind slipping away as you feel the guilt seep in.
you’re quickly snapped out of your daze when you hear him speak again, muttering the words that you thought you’d never hear.
“maybe i’ll go spend some more time with hina, she always did like me, didn’t she?”
at the mention of your gorgeous best friend who had eyes for your boyfriend before the two of you were together, you feel your heart shatter. you’d always felt inferior to her– something you’d shared with hajime before– after she admitted that she’d almost made a move on him before she found out he liked you. she wasn’t serious about him, of course, so when she found out he liked you it was an easy choice. but you’d always felt like a charity case, felt like she let you have hajime and that she could take him back in an instant. you’d shared all of those things with him, exposed your deepest insecurity only for him to spit it back in your face.
iwaizumi realizes he’s gone too far as soon as he sees the pain in your eyes. you stop clawing at him, stop crying for him to let up, you just look at him and sob. he lets go of your hair and pulls out of you immediately, running to throw on a pair of sweats before scooping you up in his arms.
“oh, nonono baby, i’m sorry– fuck i didn’t mean it baby girl, i’m so sorry.” you don’t have the energy to fight, to push him away or tell him to get off. and deep down you know even if you did, you wouldn’t. because you love him more than life itself and you could never let him go.
“i’m so sorry– fuck, baby you gotta know i didn’t mean any of it, i-i was just mad and you didn’t deserve that, not at all.” he babbles, rocking you back and forth in his lap. “you’re so good to me– please baby, tell me you understand i didn’t mean it.”
all you can do is nod, adjusting yourself so your legs are wrapped around his waist and your head is buried in your neck. he lets you breathe in his scent, lets you cling to him and soothes you with comforting circles on your back, all while whispering quiet praises and apologies. iwaizumi feels you lift your head and he moves to cup your cheeks with his hands, wiping away the remaining tears.
“y-you promise you didn’t mean it?” your voice is barely a whisper but he hears you loud and clear.
“i promise on everything, baby. i could never leave you, i don’t know how i’d survive without you by my side.”
although your heart is still heavy, you nod and curl back into his arms as he vows never to hurt you like that again.
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Headcanons for the type of tiktokers some of the boys would be? Bahejwjsjsbdbd sorry I couldn’t think of anything else.
I LOVE THIS REQUEST
YOU ALREADY KNOW… The most obvious one to try his hand at tiktok, eventually snagging a spot on the for you page, and blowing up overnight.
He’s cute, charming, and fun which is an instant recipe for success on this app. He especially uses this to his advantage when making povs. His povs are captivating to watch and vary in range (I imagine them to be like the user lilyisalilsleepy’s povs)
Doja Cat is currently his favorite artist and he knows every word to “Rules” (this is a FACT he told me so himself)
HAS to learn every dance and try almost every challenge or trend. Iwaizumi is ready to throttle him if he has to hear the words “did a full 180″ or “put a finger down … edition” one more time.
Often ropes Iwaizumi into joining him during dances, much to the latter’s dismay. Iwa will just stand awkwardly, blushing furiously and cursing Oikawa’s name into the void. He garners quite a bit of attention in the comments section with users constantly asking what his name was and if he was single or not.
Gains quite a following for his aesthetically pleasing tiktoks. He likes creating grwms, morning/nightly routines, paint/draw with mes, current playlists, mini aesthetic montages set to lofi or soft indie music, etc. Just very therapeutic and pretty content.
He abuses the bling and G6 filters, especially during golden hour.
Sometimes he’ll post tiktoks of him attempting some of the dances, then messing up as he laughs cutely and hides his face behind his hands which makes his audience go wild. Don’t be fooled; he knows exactly what he’s doing.
His pretty, soft boy vibe is what draws so many people into hitting the follow button and constantly refreshing his page to see if he’s posted since the last time they checked (me too tf)
His most popular tiktok was when he hopped on the “I just flipped the switch” trend and transformed himself from soft boy to eboy… It was reported that screams were heard all across the globe that day.
He caught wind of the tiktok hype from other social media platforms. After constantly watching youtube compilations of tiktoks, he finally decided to download the app itself.
His tiktoks are kind of like mini vlogs where he just showcases the daily shenanigans that occur in Nekoma and people eat it uP.
PRANKS!!! He and Yamamoto will team up together to try popular pranks which often results in Kuroo being the victim of said pranks. They tried playing one on Kenma once, which did not end well for them. To this day, they shiver in fear at the thought of trying to pull a fast one on Kenma ever again.
Absolutely 100% convinces the rest of the team to do the Jojo Pose trend. Their favorite anime scenes to recreate are from Naruto and Demon Slayer.
AYO WASIAN CHECK… You know he’s done it.
One word: chaos. His page is a mixture of random clips of his teammates clowning around to EBOY (yes, you heard me) outfit checks to cursed memes.
I know in my heart that this man was destined to be an eboy. I can feel it in my bones. He’s done all the typical eboy tiktoks, such as close ups of his chains and dangly cross earrings.
Once he decided to pull a fast one on the team. They were mulling around, waiting to start practice in the gym, when he connected his bluetooth to the gym’s speakers. “The giant horse cock weighs over 11 pounds,” blared through the speakers.
Ushijima blinked at him, Goshiki nearly fainted, Semi almost knocked the phone that was recording their reactions out of his hand, Shirabu called him an idiot, Reon ignored him, and Kawanishi and Yamagata aimed their spikes at him.
So you know that trend where people photoshop themselves throwing it back on anime characters? He does that.
Atsumu + Osamu
Originally, they had refused to have a joint page. But when Atsumu found out how much attention twins garnered, he went right ahead and created a page under both of their names.
Even though they have a joint page, their content couldn’t be anymore different. Atsumu created the most chaotic content that consisted of pranks, challenges, and clips of him doing cool moves during volleyball practice. Osamu opted for creating cooking tiktoks and clips of him playing games such as Animal Crossing (I know he plays animal crossing I KNOW he does)
They do come together to do that trend where they close their eyes and their parents have to point out which one is the sneakier one, more responsible one, the one with the better grades, etc.
I think it’d be the funniest thing ever if Atsumu couldn’t dance. Imagine Osamu desperately trying not to lose his sanity as he attempts to teach him how to do Renegade. “IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD SWING SNAP ROCK *deep breath* Ok from the top.”
Atsumu may not know how to dance, but he CAN throw it back. He gets down to “Juicy” by Doja Cat every now and then (every time I listen to that song I always think of Atsumu and idk wHY)
Who can’t work tiktok to save their life/doesn’t understand the hype: Kageyama, Ushijima, Matsukawa, Futakuchi, Kita, Sakusa, Kunimi
Who downloaded it as a joke at first but is now regretting it because oh my god it’s 5am and they’ve been scrolling through an endless loop for a week straight now: Tsukishima, Kindaichi, Asahi, Kuroo, Semi, Suna
.°• rules ₊˚•. masterlist ₊˚•.
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