#this is much more complicated than it needs to be yes i know that

[bigfatbimbo]

more rosie content??

Ex-wife!Rosie x Reader Headcanons —

a/n — I don’t have a full grasp on Rosie as a character yet because i’ve never officially written for her so keep that in mind!

warnings — established relationship, but like established breakup, mentions of smut, kinda f!reader implied but like??? not rlly? NOT PROOFREAD!!!

summary — Rosie is the readers ex-wife and the relationship is very complicated!

Basically i’ve just had this idea in my head for a while of being ex-wives with Rosie, but where the divorce is the least complicated part of your relationship.

In other words, bitter ex-wives who fight lots and occasionally have passionate sex. 

No because if placed in the same room as Rosie, imagine the playful bickering with increasingly passive aggressive undertones. 

Like imagine literally dropping something and Rosie smiling with an affectionate, “Ah, still a clutz as always!” “Rosie, still just as chatty. Somethings never change.” 

And then that will slowly turn into “And that’s another thing, y/n, you never picked up your jacket. Always leaving it on the floor—“

 “—Oh please Rosie, you wanna talk about a mess? Let’s talk about the demon heads in our fridge!”

See, Rosie considers herself a nice person, and to be fair, it is. 

But it was also fair to say there was a certain amount of resentment stored around you, and if you tease her first, hey, it’s fair game. 

The back-and-forth remarks between the two of you felt very familiar in a sense, yes rooted in truth and almost bitterness, but it was very playful. 

Of course, there was more than one reason it was so familiar. One, because of the actual marriage that took place beforehand.

But also because a key aspect of that marriage never…stopped. Yes, i’m talking about the sex part. 

The idea of a struggle for power with Rosie is incredibly appealing. Because like I said, she’s nice, polite, and very caring, but she’s still an overlord, meaning she has to be cutthroat.

And that means with you as well. 

Rolling over in bed, almost winning dominance before Rosie sinks her teeth into your neck.

“Ow! Rosie, what the fuck? That’s not how you give someone a fucking hickie!”

“Wasn’t trying too, sweetheart,” she’d grin before licking the bite wound. 

Which is another thing, topping or bottoming, Rosie leaves marks everywhere. In various ways, as well.

She bites, not to leave hickies, to get a taste of you. On your neck, all over your arms, inner thighs, you name it.

And scratching her name into your skin, because even though you’re divorced, you’re still hers. 

I had an anon say once that since she’s a cannibal, she knows a lot about human anatomy. 

So while leaving marks and bites all over you, she’d be explaining perfectly: what would happen if she bite to hard or cut to deep there, spots she has to avoid, and spots she has the privilege of indulging in. 

And while bottoming I still think she’d be kind of a power bottom. But maybe returning the favor, and biting her up.

Remarking on how she needs a taste of her own medicine, almost as much as you need a taste of her. 

I think this idea would be interesting if the reader was also a higher-up of hell, maybe an overlord themself. 

Because then it’d almost be the ‘bitter ex-spouses’ trope with the ‘forced proximity.’

I think Rosie is mature enough not to start and argument during an active overlord meeting, but if your not, shes overjoyed to finish it. [or try to!]

Maybe making a snide remark about something Rosie did during your marriage to the person sitting next to you, just loud enough for her to hear it. 

And obviously causing your back-and-forth bickering from across the table. 

“Oh y/n, would you calm down already?” “Funny, that’s exactly what you said to me when you tried to COOK ME FOR DINNER.” 

“Oh please, I changed my mind. Besides, you taste terrible!

Also the angst aspect of it is very intriguing because there had to be a strong trust bond for the two of you to be married in the first place.

Regardless of how or why you two broke up, there’s definitely a level of love still present despite the resentment.

Yes, Rosie’s annoying and a pain to deal with and talk too but… would you still literally die for her? And vice versa? Yes.

Because if you show up at her door, broken and battered, beat up and bleeding from every part of your body, claiming you had nowhere else to go, the divorce or ‘hatred’ wouldn’t be a thought on her mind.

She’d take you in, patch you up, and let you sleep on the couch. Scolding you the whole time for being reckless, but taking on that caring wisdom filled voice.

And maybe you’re in a position that still allows you to see Rosie a lot, so you have that once in a blue moon experience of seeing her cry or breakdown.

She’s a witch and a pain in your ass, but you still remember her favorite yogurt flavor and wear she keeps her tissues.

And you remember that she gets backaches when she’s stressed, so one way or another, you’re end up gently rubbing her back and reassuring her, taking a break from the bitter cold remarks.

None of these happen often, thank god. In fact, probably only once. But you’re both willing.

I could imagine an argument unfolding after one of these heartfelt moments. Only reminding you of the reason you two didn’t last either.

But it still makes you think; could you have?

a/n — Sorry for ending things with the angst, I have a serious problem AND IM EVIL.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel smut #dom reader #hazbin hotel fluff #rosie x reader #rosie hazbin hotel #hazbin rosie x reader #hazbin hotel rosie x reader #rosie x you

[side-b-bumblebi]

Men who view women as their intellectual equals 😍

#pro tip for the boys: a lot of girls will respond a lot better to a stimulating conversation than to a guy trying to show off #ignore the movies they're lying to you when they tell you you need to be a show off #and if a girl wants that it's maybe not the best sign y'know? #but most girls just want to be treated like we're capable intelligent humans #that's all!! the movies and shit make it way more complicated than it has to be #and yes some girls do make things awkward and complicate everything #but maybe you wanna be careful about that because those girls generally have a lot to unpack #being friends with those girls is fine!! just make sure you have strong boundaries in place #and make sure she's doing some work on herself before considering a romantic relationship #but anyway i've had a lot of men in my life that i feel like wanted to be so much smarter than me #and not to be rude but they weren't?? i was just as smart and sometimes smarter #i didn't care that they were confident in their intelligence but i felt like i needed to dumb myself down #and it. freaking. sucked. i have no idea how i did it for so long #and i would even make jokes about like the guys i dated being smarter than me and nobody ever said anything?? #and again these guys weren't smarter than me. that's not an insult to them just acknowledging i'm smarter than i was gave myself credit for #i'm outgrowing the notion that i have to dumb myself down for men and it's so freeing #and you know what really helps me actually? being in college #and especially being in college with so many intelligent men who know they're smart #these guys KNOW they're smart. and not in an arrogant way in a secure and confident way #them knowing they're smart makes them the OPPOSITE of arrogant actually #it's weird but i stand by my observation and it makes sense when you think about it #if you're secure in yourself and your intelligence you don't need to proce yourself by making other people look dumb #these guys are secure in their self-image and masculinity. they don't need women to be dumb and weak to feel strong and intelligent. #and it's so freaking endearing. i love that for these guys so much. #i am just so thankful for people in my life who are taking me seriously and who are helping me to understand i'm worth taking seriously. #wow these tags are long but anyway #guys you don't have to prove anything girls you should never have to dumb yourselves down live long and prosper

[jemmo]

omg so one thing i noticed about the latest his man 2 eps was, like you said in another ask reply, seonwoo stuck his nose into hyungjun and minsung's business for absolutely no reason AND spilled stuff to hyungjun that minsung told him. he even told sungho what junsung said in the kitchen - the whole "i don't like people touching what's mine" and okay yeah whatever, apparently he loves creating drama even though he says he doesn't. however, on the other hand, when jeongwook asked junsung if he was the one yoonghee called, junsung just explained the whole misunderstanding and didn't even reveal who yoonghee actually wanted to call. isn't that common courtesy? isn't that also something seonwoo absolutely just doesn't think of doing? i'm really trying my best not to dislike seonwoo but every time he pulls someone to the side or corners them into a room to talk to them/reveal stuff people said to him, i just have to pause and ask myself "was that really necessary? why? what was the reason?" he's trying so hard to be the main character and it's getting on my nerves because this is a dating show. please focus on the person you're interested in, not your "rival" that you're forcing him to be and just let everyone else do their own thing naturally. god. anyway sorry for the rant, just needed to get this off my chest. 😭

this might just be my favourite his man 2 anon so far bc my dear you are so completely right and correct and valid for all of this I’m screaming for you 👏👏👏 like “was that really necessary?” is exactly what’s going through my head every time seonwoo has a conversation with someone

this comparison of how seonwoo and junsung handle information in the house is so beyond telling ESPECIALLY when you consider how they both handle sharing their own feelings vs sharing gossip/drama about other people, bc junsung handled that whole yonghee situation so perfectly, which sounds like an exaggeration bc it also wasn’t especially difficult, like yes if you know an error has been made, just sort it out with that person so they can do what they want with it and don’t share it with anyone else. you’re exactly right, it’s common curtesy, but also shows how seriously good hearted he is bc it never once ever occurred to him to use it against anyone or share it around as gossip. no, he just simply resolved the situation bc he does not care for the drama. let me say it again; HE DOES NOT CARE FOR THE DRAMA. seonwoo keeps trying to get under his skin and start shit and it gets on his nerves that junsung remains unphased. he entered this house and said I’m here for sungho, everyone else can do whatever, I’m gonna do my shit and just try and stop me. bc that’s the thing, he won’t disclose anyone else’s information or gossip but with his own feelings he will be so forward and direct and clear, precisely bc he doesn’t care for drama or misunderstandings, and bc he remains primarily concerned with himself and what he’s doing, knowing that if he stays true to himself and does what he wants, whatever happens at least then he won’t have any regrets.

seonwoo, on the other hand, will play so high and fast with other people’s words and gossip and drama and yet will hardly say a word about how he’s actually feeling. he will stick his nose into any situation and finds it so easy to just share not just what he’s said but what others have said in private conversations to others, and from what we see he doesn’t clarify whether this is information he can share. so yeah, sure, it’s cute he’s playing matchmaker for minsung and hyungjun, but did either of them ever ask him to? did either of them say hey can you help me out and be the go between telling him what I just said? bc minsung is still considering two options, and seonwoo just seems to be pushing hyungjun down his throat for i don’t even know what or if there is an ulterior motive, but no one is intruding on his situation with sungho and junsung so why he’s doing this I truly don’t know. I’m glad he seems to have a good friendship with minsung but at what point does he just start looking like a stirrer, like I swear how many of the conversations in eps 6 and 7 started bc seonwoo pulled someone to the side. and on top of that, from how many of those conversations did we actually learn how he feels about people. whenever he talks about sungho or yonghee, he says nice things that encourage his relationship with them, sure, but there’s only so many times I can hear “he’s special and not what I expected” and “I would like to try and date you sometime” before I’m asking ok but what does that mean?? how much are you interested and to what extent are you committed/willing to commit to this person??? the stuff that actually matters to the other people involved in these relationships. every conversation with him reminds me of jaewon in the eighth sense saying I’m not just gonna tell you my trauma, you have to coax it out of me and I’m sorry but you do not get the jaewon trauma pass.

and just to say… sungho isn’t out here starting drama either. in the kitchen, he simply says I talked to seonwoo to junsung, and doesn’t really go into anymore detail, bc he doesn’t feel the need to disclose everything. and in that conversation, they both hold a level of respect, junsung respecting the privacy of sungho’s conversation with seonwoo and sungho respecting the privacy of what seonwoo said. and yet without disclosing anything they manage to have a fruitful conversation that establishes where they’re all at, which is what the situation needs, clarity. and it just makes me mad that seonwoo doesn’t afford that same privacy to either of them. like it’s gone past a matter of intent for me, like whether he intends to or not, he is starting drama, and it’s too much.

#his man 2 #ofc I’m gonna answer a rant with another rant who do you think I am #but yes anon you have made so many good points #I just cannot watch him getting involved with minsung and hyungjun and see it in good faith like it gets under my skin knowing that he’s #doing all this interfering when these people should be allowed to develop their relationship on their own how they want and at their own #pace and it can’t help but make me think about how these two love triangles are playing out bc seonwoo’s situation is so much more #complicated than minsung’s who just likes two people and needs to decide who he’s gonna go further with #and yet seonwoo feels a need to get involved with that instead of sorting out his own mess like??????? #what are you achieving from this from pushing hyungjun when despite it all minsung calls hyungjin bc he hasn’t decided yet #it feels like seonwoo is almost trying to make that decision for him and I don’t know what makes him think he’s being helpful or doing #something nice or right unless minsung has told him that he wants to focus on hyungjun and wants seonwoo to help #it’s just messy and god while it gets to me it makes fantastic tv

[datastate]

still so frustrated that it's because it took so long doing the video production part of my kai analysis that a lot of my revelations were rendered redundant but it's fine. it's okay. i was right. it's just that now everyone else has had it handed to them on a silver platter instead of reading between the lines like i did incessantly for the months before the miniepisode.

#it's killed a lot of my motivation to make such videos. i must admit. #jestersvaguely #i could still try to make it but augh. it's like nankidai didn't even put kai in the limelight he put him under a stadium light #too much. too much! where's the subtlety where's the tact. i loved it so much more before it was just explicitly written. sorry. #what else are people meant to dig into or engage with characters with if you're just completely clearing ANY curiosity #i don't know. i should still make it. it'd require so much rewriting though because i was specifically drawing from ranger's existence #and now there's a whole miniepisode detailing the complications of the satous dynamic and it's like well now i have to analyze that #but it doesn't even add much more than what was already implied & extrapolated from. #which i already had. i already had all of this speculation written down and dug into and now i have to rid the entire section of speculatio #it's so much less. impressive i guess. it just feels so plain and basic and it's like 'well yes we all saw that play out in the miniepisode #and it's like NO IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE MINIEPISODE HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD'VE JUST REDUCED HIM TO ABUSIVE OLD MAN #AND COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN THE FACT HE LOVED RANGER. RANGER - INCAPABLE OF AFFECTION - SAID GASHU 'S AFFECTIONS WERE HIS #AND FROM RANGER. COMPARABLE TO A SON. KAI'S EXISTENCE & GASHU'S REACTION THEREAFTER ... AHHHHHHH #i don't know. more than anything i'm just upset at my own inaction because now it's like. this is the one thing that we didn't need to wait #on for analysis. now i need to wait for asunaro to be explained before i can do proper kai analysis and it's so frustrating and saddening #i don't know. i just hate that i can't do any actual kai analysis now because he's my favorite #there's the whole 'what do the satous mean for sara & the narrative' but that was meant to be part of the larger thing #not the focus of the video. the focus of the video was discussing everything with kai #and now it's like. well the entire cover's been blown off unceremoniously and it's #ah. it's frustrating. it's so frustrating. nankidai's storytelling is so sloppy i really don't know what draws me to it at all

[bombshellsandbluebells]

the Nate Shelley s3 arc reminds me of the s5 Murphy arc in terms of how much I actually loved it despite it not being widely liked by the fandom and was actually disappointed because it wasn't ugly enough lol

and it's basically the same arc. character with deep-seated wounds and a lack of true self-love has realistic, damaging coping methods and crashes and burns spectacularly by hurting other people around them and isolating themselves because it doesn't matter how good things get for you, deep-seated wounds that don't get addressed will eventually come out one way or another. and it will be ugly when they do.

the Murphy arc was disappointing because it got wrapped up way too easily with Memori getting back together which didn't actually address ANY of Murphy's issues and Nate's was disappointing because it just didn't commit fully to being ugly and didn't let him be enough of an asshole

#with murphy it's like. do the writers even reallly REALIZE what they had written on a character level and how much it made sense and added #to murphy's character or did they just develop a reason for Memori to break up for drama and then didn't care to actually go through the #work of character growth and just got them together at the end of the season no issues #and with nate it's like. yes I DO think the majority of audiences and the fandom would have absolutely villianized nate if he had been even #meaner in s3 and probably wouldn't have celebrated him getting back with the team. I just KNOW people would have been talking about how he #didn't deserve it or hadn't made up for it enough if he had been worse in s3 #which is so unfair when a) this show tries to show how hurt can make people ugly and b) other characters get the benefit of the doubt wa #more than nate. (jamie's a little different bc it's easier to accept asshole > redeemed arcs a little more than likeable > downfall to #asshole > redeemed again bc we see the transition to being an asshole #BUT also. still. jamie did some nasty stuff that people just forget or completely forgive. and he ends up fandom favorite #and it's not that nate needed to become the fan fave or anything #I just wish people would give characters who are realistically ugly and human and complicated more grace #especially when they're not the conventionally attractive fan fave pretty boy you know #or like with murphy it's like all his actual harsh edges got sanded down by fandom. same as with Jamie #so even when he had an arc where he was acting terribly in a self destructive unhealthy kind of way that hurt others #people made it ALL about his hurt uwu other people hurt him!! it was Emori's fault!! he did nothing wrong bc he has trauma!! instead of lik #accepting that hurt people hurt people is more than a simple phrase it is true and human and UGLY when it happens #anyways #why do i always ramble more in the tags and write like a full epilogue in here

[sisterdivinium]

Think "necessity" of evil in the ultimate doing of good ("For God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist"); sin/failure for the sake of elevation, personal and otherwise, and how each of the characters "falls" so that good may come of it somehow, be it in general knowledge, assistance in pursuing good or personal enlightenment.

I'm far too lacking in dogmatic understanding to pursue this specific angle of investigation the way I'd like to and it's driving me crazy.

#vincent the traitor who releases adriel and later repents yes - but this ultimately brings us to reya #who would've stayed in shadow otherwise and hidden the danger she represents. oh the blood that was shed #but the progression of history has required it always and a few cardinals slain in a hotel are a small price to pay #suzanne the prideful who must be bent into accepting and trusting the women around her eventually #who followed by shannon the wronged (innocent?) precipitates the rise of ava #ava whom suzanne also aids and could not have done so had she not fallen #beatrice the forsaken who carves a path towards herself by using her pain #and without whom the designated saviour would never be able to save anyone of course #mary the abandoned who pays for the sins of her mother and thus buys herself the family she needs #jillian the relentless whose curiosity is fed in morsels at the exchange of human life #but who does gain glimpses at Something and who does become more human herself through loss #lilith the heir whose arrogance costs her more than one family but who might well lead the way to new life #michael the lamb who dies so ava may find her own way towards achieving her goal #i know this isn't exactly dogmatic but still; i'm caught up with nathaniel hawthorne see #read the marble faun and you will understand where this is coming from #i remember being struck by how in starz' spartacus every single character action brought on new disaster #but here in warrior nun - as much as disaster is part of it - there seems to be a light at the end of each tunnel in a way #complications arise one after the other but there are gains along the way #i shall ponder a good while more #if for no other reason than babbling in the tags like this is unacceptable #i was raised a civilised woman and i will write cohesive ordered texts like one! (eventually!) #analysis and similar #exercises in observation

[thelastspeecher]

some fucking French chef on Chopped was just like "why are French techniques so important for food? bc they are centuries old"

my guy. you aren't fucking special. techniques from like. every culture are centuries old.

#Chopped and other cooking shows have made me absolutely DESPISE French chefs kjalnsjkndfd #the second one shows up on screen I'm like ''dammit this guy's gonna be an ass isn't he'' #(they are ALWAYS men btw I don't think I've seen a single female French chef on these shows) #and with v few exceptions the guy is an ass! #they think they're so much better than everyone else bc they're French and know French techniques and blah blah blah #can French food be good? yes! #can French techniques be complicated and thus a higher level of skill needed? yes! #but that doesn't make French cuisine objectively better than every other kind #there are complicated techniques in all cuisines! #and as for taste well that's subjective #depends on your own personal preferences as well as what you might be in the mood for at that moment #basically I just wish the French chefs would be more like Ratatouille #food is for enjoyment and good food is food you like it doesn't need to be complex to be amazing it just has to be GOOD #don't be a fucking ass just bc for some reason the culinary world decided your country of origin has the best food or w/e #like I enjoy the dish ratatouille (as well as the movie) and crepes #but I think just about any day I would prefer the arepas from that food truck in the city I used to live in #or that tomato and cheese appetizer from an Italian restaurant in my hometown #or my grandmother's famous vegetable beef soup! #you're not fucking special so stop acting like it and BE MORE LIKE THE COOKING RAT FROM A PIXAR MOVIE #yeah I have Feelings about the supposed superiority of French food #speecher speaks

[whoopseydaisy]

i’m being flirted with very hard right now and it’s lovely but like when are you going to romance me and kiss me about it already

#did we use to sleep together? yes #did he break up with me bc he thought if we kept going there’s no way we’d end up as friends on the other side? #which was both important to us esp in the context of our friends with benefits kinda thing we had going? yes #am i being a leo about it and increasingly interpreting that as him being too in love with me? yes #is it more complicated than that? yes #did i stop writing poems about him? no #do i think if we started dating again the fact that we live in two different cities still be a problem for him? yes #are the cities close to each other? yes but still #do i know what to do about it? not really except looking v hot i guess #the flirting has just ramped up so much and gotten so much more blatant though #do we talk a lot? yes #have we physically seen each other since we broke up? no #do i just need to word vomit about it? yes #bfjskakhevshjakalkdndjkinskaolqmfnjl

[aceyanaheim]

every time i watch Lip and Fiona on the Sheboygan episode it fucks me Up

like

like Every Time

#shameless #Fiona Gallaguer #lip gallaguer #fiona&lip #its The Mutual Relief #its Fiona;s exhale because she thought shed have no way home because to her if Lip left her stranded she deserved it #its Lip staring starting at his sister like she might disappear because he was picturing her dead somewhere #and they both up up a brave front with the kids but they cant with each other adn theyre so complicated #he yellled at her and iced her out and said 'if she's bottoming out its on Her not us' but the guilt has to be eating at him #and hes touching her hair just to reassure shes real but all that comes out is 'you know ive never been to Sheboygan' bc theyre fucked up #your honor and emotional intelligence hasnt so much as left the buidling as it never toook up recidency #i just.. #listen im invested in siblings who lash out at each other due to maladaptive upbringing but love each other more than anytging #..for reasons #anyways #its how lips resolve its all fionas faultlast all of two seconds when shes inn front of him again and hes saying 'come here' and gathering #her up its Fiona its Fiona who doesnt show 'weakness' around her younger siblings but will take all the flagelation from Lip 'i know i #fucked up all i do is fuck up but..but i need help okay?; its kjsafjkd its THEM gawd #( yes this is in fact the reason i cant let shameless go )

[fslurusami]

a while ago i thought abt making a poll so i can decide which of my wips to finish 1st but the amount of wips i have has spiraled out of control and so will no longer fit on a poll

#there are some i like more than others however pretty much all of those are complicated. and i would like to put a few more simple options #on the nonexistent poll cuz they could get done faster. you know #and YES the transgendered usami post frm a couple days ago WAS about a NEW image. and not the 3+ in various stages of completion #and the thing abt posting sketches is i need multiple. so its not just Here Is One Sketch. im distracting you frm the weird unpolished part #i dont get 2 say ''spiraled out of control'' often btw. i am usually very much in control. so this is a rare treat. i heart spiraling #og post

[youngks-smile]

What I Want You To Know About Long COVID

Well lads, I've been suffering from Long COVID for over a year now. My life is at a complete standstill. I'm 25 years old and I'm too sick to go back to school, I can't work, I had to move back in with my parents and I'm still stuck here.

Here are just a few things I wish people knew about Long COVID, including things I didn't know myself until I got it.

COVID destroys your immune system. Yes, even if you don't have Long COVID. Are you getting sick more often now? When you get sick, does it last longer? There are many studies showing that COVID causes t cell depletion, even in mild COVID cases! T cells are how your body remembers how to fight off infections you've had before so losing those cells? Bad news.

Your initial infection can be mild and you can still get Long COVID. Right from Yale Medicine, "Most people with Long COVID had mild acute COVID." (This is also a good link for a basic Long COVID overview).

There can be a gap of time between when you "get better" from the initial COVID infection to the onset of Long COVID symptoms. Some people get sick with an initial COVID infection and never get better. Some get better and then weeks or months later start developing Long COVID symptoms. Long COVID symptoms can even fluctuate over time, can go away for months and then suddenly come back.

So many people have Long COVID and don't realize it. Do you feel more tired lately but no matter how much you sleep, nothing helps? Is it harder to concentrate at work or school? Can you just not think like you used to? You could have Long COVID and not even know it. Even mild post-COVID symptoms are still Long COVID.

COVID can do anything to your body. Long COVID has over 200 recognized symptoms and can affect basically any part or system of your body. There is no one mechanism or cause of Long COVID which unfortunately also means there's no one cure either.

The effects of COVID are cumulative. Each COVID reinfection increases your chances of developing Long COVID. COVID is also affecting your body in other ways, yes, even if you're otherwise young and healthy! "Repeat COVID-19 infections increase risk of organ failure, death".

Once you have Long COVID, repeat COVID infections will make your symptoms worse. "80% [of Long COVID patients] saw their symptoms worsen [from reinfection]. In 60% of people who were in recovery or remission from Long COVID, reinfection caused a recurrence of Long COVID."

There is a lot more I want to say about Long COVID but I want to keep this post at least somewhat manageable to read. Like how when COVID is contracted during pregnancy, those COVID-exposed fetuses have a 6.3-fold increased risk of motor developmental delays, or that another study found 50% of babies exposed to COVID in utero had developmental delays.

You need to keep caring about COVID, for others around you and also for yourself even if you're "healthy". Everyone is at risk. And don't forget 40-60% of COVID infections are asymptomatic, which is why masking even if you feel fine is crucial. The only way right now to not get Long COVID is to not get COVID in the first place. It's not too late, if you've stopped masking it's never too late to start again! I know it's easy to get distracted by things in your life that seem more real than the possibility of getting sick some time in the future, and the peer pressure to not mask can be intense. But it only feels less real or less important until your entire life is having Long COVID. Trust me.

I know this is a complicated issue, many people can't afford to stay home when sick even if they want to because of their jobs, there are disgusting policies trying to ban wearing masks, but please if you can. Keep masking. Masking works, masking saves lives.

This post got a bit longer than I wanted so below the cut is a non-exhaustive list of my Long COVID symptoms and some of my experiences as one of the "healthy young people" who got "unlucky". cw brief mention of suicidal ideation.

Welcome to the Thunderdome that is my body with Long COVID. Keep in mind these are just my experiences and symptoms, Long COVID can cause any range of symptoms at varying severities.

Dysautonomia: Exercise intolerance, Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM), fatigue, and heat intolerance. What do those things mean? Here's some specific examples. Absolutely terrible circulation I am so cold all the time but also, if I get a little too warm I will pass out. Eating hot food makes my heart rate spike, I sweat, my body feels heavy. Blood pooling and pins and needles in my feet when I walk. Don't even think about exercising past walking, it's impossible. I used to work out an hour a day 4 times a week and now walking up one flight of stairs makes my heart pound and I can't breathe. Can't take even just warm showers anymore or I will pass out. Heat rashes from being in the sun for 10 minutes.

Digestive issues: Honestly too many to name but: constant bloating, extreme nausea, constipation, slow motility, lack of appetite, just so much cramping and pain. I lost 18 pounds from Long COVID, as someone who was already considered underweight their entire life, and almost had to get a shunt put into my chest to deliver nutrients because I was nearly completely unable to eat. For the first 6 months of Long COVID, if I could manage 600 calories a day, that was a good day.

Histamine intolerance: Oh boy. My worst symptoms, I don't even know where to start with it. If you know Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) it's very similar. I can only eat 19 foods. If i eat a single bite of something not on that list, it's 48 hours of absolute hell. Coughing, migraines, itchy eyes, such extreme nausea I cannot even describe it, panic/feeling of doom, racing heart rate, derealization, rash, uncontrollable muscle tremors. I only learned about histamine intolerance 5 months into having Long COVID so before that, I was experiencing these symptoms nearly every single day. Terrifying isn't even a strong enough word to describe how it felt to experience all this and have no idea what it was, how to stop it, or if it would ever stop. Really dark times.

Neurological issues: More of that derealization. Inability to concentrate. Anxiety. OCD-like symptoms such as thoughts getting "stuck" in my head, repeating 24/7 completely unable to stop them, genuinely felt like my brain had cracked open and I had lost my mind. Constant dizziness like I'm on a boat.

Sleep issues: I sleep like garbage. I have insomnia, I wake up dozens of times every night and every single time I sleep I have intensely vivid dreams. I can't sleep longer than 7 hours total no matter how exhausted I am. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted, I'm so so tired.

And finally. Just. Really intense suicidal ideation. My body, my health, my entire life has been stolen from me because someone else decided my life was worth less to them than wearing a mask or staying home if they feel sick. Before I got Long COVID, I was preparing to go to South Korea to teach English, then on to a PhD in neurolinguistics, I was supposed to meet my long distance partner and had already booked plane tickets when I got sick. All of that has been destroyed.

Most of us with Long COVID are stuck in a cycle of being extremely sick, then if you're lucky you'll slowly get better over months, just to get reinfected and go right back where you started or worse. Honestly, I'm not scared of dying from COVID. I'm scared of living for a long time, suffering from Long COVID the entire time. This isn't living.

I don't know how to end this now. I'm still fighting, I'm trying experimental treatments, I'm not giving up yet. I hope everyone reading this stays healthy and well.

#long covid #covid 19 #covid isn't over #pandemic

[zkretchy]

currently researching stuff for story reasons and I am literally copying and marking stuff from different sources

i feel like i am back at school here smh

#txts #at least this is all way more understandable than some other shit #like yes bla bla fancy science words #but its easy to boil down #like you tell me you only got 6major groups? thank fucking god #now watch me go need to know smth else that's much more complicated and die then lmao #this is less for realisms sake #altho i do have a couple points i wanna put in somehow just bc...it fits and makes it more authentic #and more for 'i need all the inspiration and limitations and classifications i can get' points

[criminalamnesia]

HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3💗!

thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.

he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.

he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.

but he couldn’t take everything lying down.

did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?

he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.

he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.

he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.

but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.

but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.

simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.

and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?

you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.

the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.

and all the signs pointed to you.

and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.

price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.

johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.

then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.

simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.

maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.

but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.

all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.

and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.

so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.

and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.

even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.

he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.

but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.

the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.

it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.

the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.

“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.

“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”

simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.

“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”

“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”

price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.

“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”

“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.

price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”

the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.

he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.

“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.

price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”

simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.

“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”

they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.

pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.

although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.

but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.

an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.

you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.

damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.

you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.

he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.

‘you should have killed me.’

maybe he should have.

thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—

im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!

as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)

#cod mw2 fic #captain john price #gaz call of duty #soap call of duty #ghost call of duty #captain price #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #johnny mactavish #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #John price #simon riley x gn reader #simon riley angst #ghost x gn reader #ghost x you #ghost angst #ghost x reader #ghost cod #141!reader #141 x reader #task force 141

[jongseongsnudes]

pretty

bff!jake. 1.6k. smut ft. roommate!jay.

“i- wh- what the actual fuck?”

“i said what i said, let me suck you.”

“you’ve lost it,” the startled man leans away from you, his face contorted from your sudden suggestion, “all that studying finally broke you.”

“god jake,” you roll your eyes and lean forward, almost closing the gap between your bodies entirely, “why are you making it more complicated than it needs to be? i just need to suck your dick for like a minute.”

the poor man’s expression is one that has you immediately in a fit of laughter, confusion, disgust with a hint of arousal, all displayed across his face at the same time.

yes, it was a weird request to make towards your best friend but it’s not like you haven’t done it before. and for some unexplainable, wild reason, sucking his dick always calmed you. especially in times when you were stressed over your head about classes.

like right now.

“who asks their bestfriend shit like this like it’s the most normal thing to do?”

“for the last time. sim jaeyun will you let me suck you off?” you get up from the bed as you say so, arms folded, your tone more of a threat than a question, “you do realise jay is next door, and i’m pretty sure he’d be more than willing to let me suck-”

“okay okay! for fucks sakes suck me then! no need to bring out the government name.”

your hand is already at his thigh before he could even finish his sentence, immediately palming him through his sweat pants. with an accomplished grin on your face, you kneel down in between his spreaded legs on the floor, your eyes never once leaving his as you do so. it’s something you know for a fact jake likes you doing, giving him that full attention, like he’s the only thing that mattered to you in the moment.

“fuck- why do you do this shit to me?” he whispers, his voice much lower than before. he watches you through lidded eyes, his gaze entirely on your new submissive position in front of him, “you’re so evil.”

“and you love it, jake.”

the way his dick twitches in your hand to the call of his name only excites you more, further pushing you to get a move on. so you do just that, pulling off his pants and boxers down to his ankles in one quick motion before grabbing onto his member.

the man’s deep groans instantly fill the room as you begin to jerk him painfully slow, your evil self enjoying the situation a little too much. you can’t help but pout when you notice the way his clutch on the bedsheets tightens because it should be your hair he’s gripping. not the damn bedsheets.

“c- come on don’t tease.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about...” lies. you knew exactly what you were doing, and to make things worse for him, you decide to lean in closer to his leaking tip. but obviously not close enough.

the frustrated sigh that emits from his throat is hard to miss, the sound making you chuckle a little to yourself.

he’s so desperate for you, just like how you wanted him to be.

“you’re so hard jake... look at you.”

“i swear to god- oh shit!”

your lips pressing onto his tip is enough to have him in a puddle, his words no longer coherent. it makes you feel good to be able to make jake turn into such a mess, without having to do much at all.

“you enjoy doing this to me don’t you?” there’s a sudden change in his eyes, his gaze dark and serious as he reaches out to grab the back of your neck, holding you still in place to look at him, “you’re such a brat.”

if there’s one thing you’ve learnt about jake over the years, is that the man is a big softie when it comes to you, always letting you have your way no matter how ridiculous it is.

but the only times jake will not let you have your way are times like these. it’s as if something switches in him, going from soft to dominant all in two seconds when you push the right buttons.

when you were bratty.

and god was this jake hot.

“jake...”

“you were all talk before,” he taunts, a smirk forming on the end of his lips, “go on. show me what that mouth can do besides shit talk.”

and you didn’t need to be asked twice, especially not by jake sim.

your mouth quickly wraps around his hard on, barely managing to take half of it before you can feel it hit the back of your throat. although you’ve done this numerous times before, jake’s size always managed to surprise you.

no more words are needed, the room now filled with his grunts and the sound of you slobbering all over his dick. you know you should be embarrassed by your noises, but you’re not, your only goal now was to please the man.

often enough, you’d imagine how good it’d feel to have him fuck you with it. making you feel good, making you cum.

it was so wrong to have such fantasies about your best friend but every time you’re in bed with your hands down your pants, there’s no one else you’d rather think of but jake sim.

tears begin to form in the corners of your eyes as you continue moving your head, sucking on his length like your life depended on it. hard and fast, edging the man closer and closer towards his release.

his tightened grip on the back of your neck tells you that he’s close. so you do what you do best, grabbing onto his base with both your hands, stroking it in sync with your mouth.

“f- fuck- i’m gonna-” he mumbles while trying to pull your head away but you don’t budge, hinting for him continue on. and he does just that, finishing deep in your mouth, his cum slowly dripping out the corners of your lips as you pull away.

he tastes bitter, the vast amount a little hard to swallow but you manage nonetheless. the sight of you struggling has the man smirking, obviously loving the way you look with his mess dripping down onto your top.

“you look so pretty like this.”

“pretty only like this? wow you’re such a gentleman sim.”

“no,” he chuckles before pulling you up, your body slightly falling onto his at the force. his arms are quick to stable you, literally manhandling you to straddle over his lap in which you were more than happy to do, “you’re always pretty. the prettiest.”

your heart unknowingly skips a beat to his sudden compliment, as if you didn’t just suck him off and as if there wasn’t a massive cum stain on your top. you knew jake had a way with his words when it came to the ladies but this? this wasn’t what you were expecting him to say, not to you, his best friend.

“what?” he laughs, his hands already at the ends of your top, hastily pulling it over without hesitation, “where did that bratty mouth of yours go?”

“jake...” you whimper at the coldness hitting your skin, the sensation making you hard inside your bra.

“shit. you’re perfect.”

he yanks on your hair as he says so, pulling your head back so he could attack the exposed skin on your neck. you’re already a moaning mess at this point, the feeling of his lips on your sensitivity, one that has you seeing white all over.

“you don’t like it when i’m nice but prefer it when i’m like this?” his grip in your hair tightens more, making you whimper out in surprise, much to his liking. you could feel him smiling into your skin, as if pleased by your reaction to his actions.

the man is being rough and as sick as it was, you were enjoying every second of it.

“you even sound pretty, i wonder what you’d sound like if i were to fuck you,” jake’s voice is one you’ve never heard from him before, raspy and deep. even deeper than his morning voice, which you’ve always found so fucking hot already.

“do you want me to fuck you?”

“god yes jake, please.”

you never understood why you and jake hadn’t fucked yet. you’ve sucked his dick, given him handjobs and he has fingered you here and there. but that’s all it ever got to. despite the oh-so-obvious sexual tension that always followed you both aound, you two just didn't fuck.

“as much as i want to hear you, you have to try to be quiet tonight,” his lips makes its way towards yours, leaving behind a trail of gentle kisses on your skin, “jay is next door-”

“maybe you should’ve thought of that 30 minutes ago, when i was sleeping. too late now.”

and to your horror, there standing at jake’s opened door is his handsome roommate jay who looked like he was about to burn the apartment down with his glare alone. the man’s unkempt hair and boxers-only outfit tells you perhaps he had been sleeping, which made you feel awful for being so loud just now.

but despite his glares, you noticed one other thing. it’s that he’s looking directly at you, at your barely covered chest, like he had been the entire time he was standing there.

fuck.

end.

2023 © jongseongsnudes on TUMBLR. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE OR REPOST.  

#jongseongsnudes #enhypen #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fic #enhypen smut #enhypen scenario #enhypen drabble #enhypen imagine #enhypen hard hours #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jake #enhypen jay #enhypen fluff #enhypen jake sim #jake sim #jake fanfic #jake fic #jake smut #jake imagine #jay imagine #park jay #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #sim jaeyun smut #sim jaeyun scenario #sim jaeyun x reader #jaeyun smut #jaeyun fic #jaeyun fanfic

[starkwlkr]

fever dream | sebastian vettel

part 2 part 3

warnings: toxic soon to be ex husband who cheats on reader (if i miss anything, let me know!!)

update: i decided to make this into a series, thanks for reading!! you can read it here!

INSTAGRAM (private account)

liked by lewishamilton, yoursistersaccount and 24 others

yourusername a short trip back home 🤍

lewishamilton enjoy it!

yourusername thanks lew! miss you and roscoe 🤍

lewishamilton roscoe and i miss you more

yoursistersaccount it’s great to have you home

yourusername 🤍 love you

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“luke, alison! your aunt y/n is here!” your sister yelled as she opened the door to her home. in a matter of seconds, loud footsteps were heard running down the stairs. “no running!”

but still the kids didn’t listen, they were excited to see their aunt. “hey, my babies! oh my god, you two have grown so much. stop growing!” you hugged your niece and nephew.

“i’m almost as tall as mom!” alison, the younger sister, said.

“liar, that’s just what dad says to make you feel better. i’m going to grow more than you and then i’ll be taller than you.” luke teased.

“you both can be tall, but never as tall as me.” you joked as you placed a kiss on their cheeks.

“are you going to stay with us forever?” alison asked innocently. “dad said that you don’t want to stay with your husband anymore and you’re going to stay with us.”

“alison!”

the truth was hard for little kids to understand. yes, you were going to stay with your sister for a few days and yes, you didn’t want to stay with your husband anymore, but it was a bit more complicated than that. your husband had cheated, lied, manipulated you and you had enough. he was the reason you couldn’t come back to the sport you loved and worked your whole life for.

“well i am going to be staying here, but not forever. i just needed a break from him, it’s normal.” you tried to explain to the girl.

“but my mom and dad don’t take breaks?”

“alison, just go to your room, you too luke, please. dinner is going to be ready in an hour.” your sister said, feeling embarrassed that alison would ask those questions.

“what did i do?” the older boy whines as he and his sister walked up to their rooms.

“i’m sorry. i spoke to jack the night you called. we were cleaning up the table after dinner, i assume she heard.” your sister explained.

“it’s okay, they’ll understand when they’re older. not everyone is cut out to be loved . . .”

or a mother.

only a few people had known about your issues with infertility, your sister and lewis being two of them. after you retired from f1, you were sure that in a couple months, you were going to be busy with doctor’s appointments, buying baby clothes and building a crib, but none of that happened. after a year of trying, you were convinced you weren’t meant to be a mom.

you thought about returning to the track, after all many drivers returned after saying they were retiring, why couldn’t you? but that plan was spoiled by the man you thought loved you.

“you can’t go back, you don’t belong there. it’s a man’s sport. you’re probably going to crash in the first lap anyways.”

you didn’t know why you stayed with him, but you did. maybe it was the promises he kept telling you about or the hopefulness that one day you would become parents and maybe he would change. but again, none of that happened.

“um, i have to call someone. i’ll be right back. excuse me.” you told your sister as you walked to the patio door and exited the house. without hesitating, you clicked on a familiar contact. you held your phone against your ear and waited for the person on the other end to pick up. it felt like forever, but eventually they picked up the call.

“hello?”

#formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x you #sebastian vettel instagram au #sebastian vettel fluff #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel imagine #sv5 #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel one shot #f1 smau #sebastian vettel smau

[norrizzandpia]

Heyy, hope you’re having a good day.

Don’t know if your requests are open but I really wanted to ask something. Could you write Oscar with baby fever, but like a lot, to the point that Lando knows about it and makes fun of him, and he is always trying to convince reader that they are ready to have a baby and how he would love to see her pregnant and obviously showing all the time vídeos o cute babies. Then to make it a little longer you could make some embarrassing moment of this baby fever, like Oscar getting flustered (or more lol) when seeing reader with a baby or like zac listening him saying some weird stuff, something like that yk. Then after months she accept. (If you are felling writing a little angst, you could write in the same one or another part, they trying to get pregnant but they can’t and Oscar gets very frustrated and ends up venting with Lando or so and little time later they discovered she is pregnant just to end in a cute way).

If you like the idea and decide to write it, feel free to make any changes you desire, I love your writing and I’m sure you’ll make my idea a thousand time better. Thank you <3

It is CRIMINAL how long it took me to answer this superb request.

Let’s Have A Baby, Baby (OP81)

Summary: There is nothing Oscar wants more than for Y/n to get pregnant with his kid, and everyone knows it.

Warnings: sexual conversations, language, Oscar has no filter at all, an extremely graphic and sexual conversation that has Zak traumatized (pray for him), tooth rotting fluff idk where any of this came from

Note: i didn’t put any angst in this because THIS WAS TOO CUTE TO ADD ANYTHING BAD THIS COUPLE DESERVES EVERY BIT OF HAPPINESS AND MORE WITHOUT ANY COMPLICATIONS I MEAN IT.

How do you tell someone having a child at the ripe age of 22 is not a good idea?

Y/n sat at the end of the bed, watching Oscar pace back and forth as he rambled about how much he wanted to get her pregnant.

“Baby, you’d look so pretty. Please? You know how good the sex would be.” He turned toward her, eyes holding hers as he looked at her with his persuasive doe eyes.

Y/n groaned as her head fell back, “Osc, the sex is already good. Why do we need to add a child to the mix?”

Oscar fell to the floor, kneeling in front of her with his hands resting on her knees as he tilted his head, “Because it’ll be fun! And you could dress them up in little clothes and…” He trailed off, his eyes shifting toward the floor before meeting hers once more, “We’d be a family.”

Y/n’s lip pouted out, emotions running strong in her body as her boyfriend held her hands so tightly, “Oscar,” She rubbed lightly over his cheekbone, “I would love to be a family with you, make a family with you, but I just don’t think I’m ready for that right now. Your career is just taking off and I’ve just barely started to figure out what I want to do with the degree I just earned. It’s not the right time.”

Oscar sighed, head lulling forward and into her lap, “Fine. I guess you’re right.”

Y/n smiled softly and folded forward, planting a kiss into his hair as she scratched at his scalp. “This doesn’t mean I don’t ever want kids, you know?”

He gave a small smile into her lap before looking up at her, “I know. I think I’m just a bit crazed with baby fever right now. You’re right. It’s not a good time to have a whole ass kid now.”

Y/n giggled, “Glad we’re on the same page.”

Oscar stood up, moving to sit beside her on the bed. His arm hooked around her waist, pulling her into him and kissing her hair quickly as he murmured, “I still think you’d look good pregnant. With my kid, to be precise.”

—

“Y/n, are you seeing this?!” Oscar exclaimed as he shoved his phone in his girlfriend’s face. The TikTok he was showing her was of a little girl giggling continuously as, from what Y/n could gather, the child’s father tickled her stomach.

She blushed, “Yes, very cute, baby.”

Oscar rolled his eyes, “Exactly. Baby. I want a baby.”

“Mate…” Lando said with exhaustion, his head lulling back onto the couch he was sprawled out on. The McLaren crew members off to the side, getting coffees from the hospitality center, snickered.

Oscar’s head snapped to his teammate, “What? You’re just jealous you don’t have a girlfriend to have a kid with.”

“Oscar!” Y/n yelled, hitting his arm as a warning while Lando just keeled over in laughter.

His face was red as he got out, “Oscah! Who taught you to talk like that?!”

Oscar just smiled, “You.”

Lando leaned back, gasping for breath as he came down, “Does that mean I can be its uncle?”

Oscar shook his head, “I’m thinking godfather.”

Y/n scoffed, “We are not having a child! Stop dreaming of something that is not going to be happening for a few more years.”

Oscar shot her a quick glance with a grin, “Just wait till I give you a preview of what having a kid could let us do and I’m sure your mind will change.”

Lando’s mouth fell open, “I need to be removed from the country after hearing that come out of your mouth.”

“Oscar, there is something mentally wrong with you.” Y/n hit his arm once more, shooting him a warning look.

He sidled up to her, “Think a baby could fix that?”

Y/n groaned and Lando laughed, “OSCAR!”

—

“Y/n! Oscar! Do you guys think you could watch Mila while Sav, Ollie, and I all go for a walk on the paddock?” Lando asked hesitantly, eyeing Oscar with his niece in his arms.

From the way they were staring at each other, Y/n knew Oscar had put Lando up to this. Nonetheless, she smiled, “Sure!”

Oscar beamed.

Y/n took Mila from Lando’s arms, turning to Oscar as Mila stared after her uncle as he walked away. A shy child, Y/n knew Mila would do well with a bit of childish conversation.

“Mila, who’s your favorite? Uncle Lala or Oscar?” Y/n smiled, pinching Mila’s cheeks to draw a few giggles from the little girl.

Mila squealed, “Uncle Lala!! Lala!”

Y/n’s heart warmed at the way the cute child screaming the sweetest nickname. Oscar looked down at his girlfriend and, in his delusions, their child.

He cocked his head, “You fall into the role quite well.”

His comment went ignored by his girlfriend as she continued poking Mila lightly, laughing along with the young girl as her head fell into Y/n’s chest from the tickling.

Y/n smiled up at him before turning around, wandering off into the McLaren garage with Mila still tucked under her arm. Oscar wished he could take a picture. Save it for later. He loved everything before his eyes.

When he was done getting lost in fairy land, he jogged in the direction his girlfriend had taken. What he found was a sight so dear to his heart. Y/n in conversation with Mark, a sleeping Mila in her arms. Part of the reason why he loved the image so much was how comfortable Y/n looked, how Mila laid against her body so easily and how Y/n swayed as if it was second nature.

He wished she could see what he saw.

Mark nodded at him as he came to stand next to Y/n, pulling her into him by the waist and trying to decipher the topic of conversation. “You’re talking about Otmar leaving Alpine?”

“Yeah, good riddance.” Y/n sighed, hand rubbing up and down Mila’s back.

Oscar squeezed her hip softly, “I want to leave that man in my past.”

Mark rolled his eyes, “Don’t we all.”

“There isn’t any corner of the world he could be that is too far from us.” Oscar murmured, face grimacing at the thought of the horrid man.

Y/n laughed and kissed his shoulder, “It’s okay, Osc. You don’t have to deal with him anymore.”

Mark nodded along, eyes entranced with the picture in front of him. He knew Oscar yearned for kid with Y/n, but it had never looked so real before. The boy he had watched grow up, helped fight for, had all of a sudden grown into a man who pushed for children with his girlfriend. Mark knew Oscar was still young, too young for kids, but it still felt a bit odd to see him as someone’s father. It was sobering to see Oscar, his girlfriend, and a child all at once, in a position that made them look like a family. Truthfully, a part of him felt at peace to know the war was over. Oscar had found a seat, a team that prioritized him, and a person who loved him wholly. There was no need to worry about Oscar anymore. What was he to do now?

“Can I take a picture of you two really quick?” Mark asked, a question so surprising Oscar and Y/n shared a strange look.

“Sure?” Y/n said, not fully understanding the reason behind his request.

Mark moved back an inch, position his camera as Y/n and Oscar smiled. Y/n leaned her head against his shoulder while Mila stayed in her arms, still asleep against her body. He turned his camera around to show the couple what he had just captured and Y/n’s heart squeezed. Oscar almost screamed and ripped his hair out. He wanted what this picture implied so badly. With her.

He kept his composure, “We look cute, no?”

Y/n hesitated, a lingering grin on her face as she stared down at the image. Though, her smile lengthened and she tilted her head, “Can you send that to me?”

—

Oscar was in rare form. From the moment he had woken up, he was making suggestive comments in Y/n’s ear. To put it shortly, he was horny for the woman by his side. When Oscar got like this, he became impulsive and threw caution to the wind. Therefore, Y/n wasn’t surprised when he started rambling to her in the middle of the McLaren garage.

“All I’m saying is that you would look damn good carrying my kid.” He giggled, hand dangerously low on her back.

“Oscar…” She whispered, eyes darting around them in an effort to show him how public he was making their conversation.

He shook his head, “No one can hear what I’m saying. They’re too wrapped up in their work. They don’t know that I’m telling you how good it would feel to fuck you raw.”

She blushed, “Oscar,” She tried once more, though her voice was beginning to lose his edge.

His hand brushed her hair out of the way, leaning down to whisper in her ear, “Do you like that idea? Like the thought of me coming inside of you? Like the thought of everyone knowing you’re mine because you’re carrying my child?”

Her hand brushed up against his abs as she turned to look at him, his eyes boring down into hers. “Oscar, you are working.”

“So? We can go try for one right now, love. Just say the word.”

She tried to hold her composure, “Oscar, you are so bold.”

He kissed her softly, “Yeah? Or am I just attracted to the idea of seeing my cum leak out of you? I’d fuck it back into you with my fingers. Make sure it takes.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, but her insides clenched together.

He tried once more, “I can tell you want it. I can feel your skin getting hotter under my hands,” He brushed his fingers against the skin peeking out from her crop top, “I could be feeling you cum around my bare cock too.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but a loud throat clearing stopped her.

Oscar froze, Y/n paled.

The couple turned their heads slowly behind them, Zak side glancing them from his place inches away from them. Oscar opened his mouth to apologize, but Zak put up his hand.

“I never want to talk about this ever again.” He said, his voice so sharp it could cut ice.

Oscar’s hand flew to his mouth, “Zak, I’m so incredibly sorry. That wasn’t meant to be hear-”

Zak shook his head, “Oscar, I don’t care what the hell you do on your free time. Hell! I think it’s endearing how much you want to have kids with your girlfriend. But, I swear to God,” His eyes closed as he took a deep breath, “If I have to hear you talk about doing anything physical with your girlfriend, I will give you a bad car.”

Oscar nodded shortly, “Understood. I’m so sorry.”

Zak grimaced and shivered before giving the couple one last glance. A whisper loud enough for them to hear, “I’m so unsettled.”

Oscar turned back to his girlfriend. The woman so horrified, she refused to look at him.

He tilted his head, “It’s not that bad?”

Y/n snapped her head up at him. Her gaze fiery, it turned Oscar on. “You will never speak to me when we are near Zak, yeah?”

She walked away before he could respond.

“Y/n, that’s insane!” He screamed as he ran after her.

Lando chuckled to himself at the scene. Not knowing what Oscar had said, but inferring from the way Zak stared at a trash can like he was five seconds from vomiting into it.

—

Oscar stared down at Y/n as they laid in bed together, post-sex haze slowly depleting. His hand pushed tangled hair out of her face as he laid small kisses on her face, “I love you,” He whispered.

She smiled softly, “I love you too.”

From the way his eyes softened, Y/n’s being found peace. When she was younger, she had been so convinced she would never find love, never find a man who wanted to love her. Part of her wished she could go back in time and show her 16 year old self a picture of Oscar, detailing the man she would later find. Even though they fought and he got her so annoyed sometimes, he would always live to show her that what she had thought was unrealistic in love, was completely attainable. She had loved romcoms, yearning for that kind of feeling for someone else, but she was always lectured on how impossible that was. Oscar was the living counter argument to that statement. From the way he looked at her to the delicate nature of how he held her hand, she was secure in his love for her. A child was a lot, but a child was also a statement of forever. She wanted forever with Oscar, he did too. She wanted to share something so intimate with him beyond sex and vulnerability.

She wanted a kid with him.

In the silence of the night, she lightly spoke the words, “I think I’m ready for a baby.”

A year later and the sentence finally met his ears. Oscar stared at the wall behind her for a moment before letting his gaze fall to her.

“What?” Is all he could find within himself. The woman and the words of his dreams, finally a reality.

She giggled, “I’m ready to try for kids, Osc.”

His hands flew to cradle her face. He shook her head lightly as tears flooded his vision. His voice broke, “What?”

He couldn’t begin to muster another syllable, the staring was all his body could take. He wanted to memorize the twinkle in her eye as she completed his world. He wanted to think back on this moment and remember the way her hand felt against his rapidly beating heart, the way his hands got lost in her hair, the smell of her faded perfume, and the sincerity in her words.

He kissed her lips, soft and gentle as tears fell from his eyes. When they pulled back, she laughed and wiped the wetness on his cheeks, “Why are you crying, baby?”

His mouth opened and closed before speaking, “Because we’re having a kid… and I’ve found you, found the person I know the rest of my life was meant to be shared with. I think I’m just…” He trailed off, trying to find his words amongst all the things swirling around in his body, “I always knew I would be proud of myself if I got into F1, achieved a seat in the sport. I thought that would be the greatest achievement of my life, the most proud I would’ve ever been of myself. But, that’s not true because, in this moment, I am so much more proud of myself for being worthy enough of you and having a kid with you than getting a seat in Formula 1. I never thought about who I would settle down with, but now that I know it’s you, I can’t believe it was ever something that wasn’t on my mind. You are everything I ever think about. The life awaiting us and whatever tries to ruin our plans, I want it all. You are the beginning and end of my life.”

Y/n’s eyes were teary by the end of his confession, feeling as if she was drowning in the love of the moment.

When they kissed again, it felt more solidifying. Solidifying in that tomorrow, when they were filled with energy again, they would try for a baby. Solidifying that sometime, whether that was five years in the future or next week, a positive pregnancy test would sit brightly on the counter of their bathroom, affirming the forever they already knew was in store.

—

(ONE MONTH LATER)

How do you tell someone they’re 23 and going to be a dad?

Y/n snuck through the McLaren building at the Australian Grand Prix. Lando was in tow behind her as well as Mark and Oscar’s family, all eight of them tiptoeing toward Oscar’s room with large smiles.

Y/n clutched the pregnancy test in her hands, palms sweating heavily moments before she presented Oscar with news that would send him into sobs. No doubt.

“That one,” Lando whispered, pointing toward a black door at the end of the hallway. When they reached it, Y/n turned back.

“Who’s recording?” She asked quietly as Mark smiled and shoved his phone out in front of him.

Y/n giggled, “Screenager,” before sending him a playful glance, her teasing out of love.

With another look to the group, her knuckles rapped on the door.

“One sec!” Oscar’s voice yelled, a few moments passing before he was flinging the door open with a smile. That smile, however, soon fell slightly at the sight of everyone he ever loved standing before him.

“Oh, no. What have I done?” He asked, face dropping as he made eye contact with his beaming mother. “What’s going on?” He asked, slightly confused at the manic faces of his family and closet friend.

“Oscar,” Y/n whispered, his attention drawing to her immediately.

His head cocked to the side, ���Baby, what’s going on?”

Y/n smiled, “A baby.”

His confusion grew, “What do you mean ‘a baby’?”

“Oscar…” She said once more, hands shifting in their grasp.

In the tone of her voice, he found happiness.

“No,” He whispered.

Her hands came to rest between their bodies, the pregnancy test on clear display, “Yes,”

A very concerning scream erupted from Oscar before be flung himself into the arms of his girlfriend and, therefore, everyone behind her. There was loud squeals and laughter before Oscar pulled back.

“THERE’S GOING TO BE A BABY?!” He screamed, the volume bouncing off the walls and most likely down to the garage.

Y/n nodded, “OUR BABY!”

Another scream that Lando would have to make fun of Oscar for later. The couple hugged each other tightly, jumping and down in the most giddy way. Truly embarrassing for Oscar, according to Lando, but the Brit also knew how much his friend had pleaded for this.

It was clear in the way he choked back tears; clear in the way he held Y/n; clear in the way he stuffed the pregnancy test into his pocket, mumbling to himself about wanting to put it in a scrapbook for their first child.

Maybe the moment could have been left to just Oscar and Y/n, but, as they all conversed excitedly about nine months in the future, Oscar found everything he ever needed.

Formula 1 was a bonus.

This was his dream.

Y/n and Baby 1 were his drea-

Y/n and Baby 1 were his reality.

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