"suguru"
it lay in the tenderness underlining satoru's voice every time he would call out his name, the aching swell of his chest when his ears couldn't help but pick up the difference. gojo satoru, blindingly bright and lovingly loud and yet, only a child learning to open and close its mouth for the first time in his presence. geto would often be conflicted on whether he should pride himself on bringing out a side of satoru nobody could ever see or feel guilty for allowing him to dull his instincts so as to not outshine him.
if i drag you down, will you follow me?
"what is it?"
"sometimes, i feel as if i knew you in all my past lives"
geto could feel the damp grass lightly prickle his skin through the fabric of his uniform and on any ordinary day, it would've bothered him. but it wasn't just any ordinary day. how could it be when staoru was lying right next to him, long legs stretched out to their full capacity and back resting leisurely against a tree trunk. gaps of sunlight casted shadows along the rise of his cheeks which danced every time a gust of wind blew by and satoru looked as if he was the most content person to have ever lived.
"what do you think we were?" what am i to you?
"who knows? we might've been stray dogs fighting over scraps of trash in one, strangers who only brushed past each other in another, lovers in the next"
geto was glad satoru had his eyes closed, pale eyelashes fanning out like snow sprinkled atop mountain ranges. the deep flush of his ears would've been uncomfortable to perceive, too uncharacteristic, too unlike a friend, a comrade, a fellow second-year.
"suguru" don't call me that. stop clawing at my heart.
"are you even listening?"
geto had always been listening. he had listened to the buzz of crowds roaming the streets of tokyo as satoru's lean silhouette became one with them, their fall out ringing through every nerve in his body. he had listened to the churning of his insides, swallowing satoru's words had proved to be much more taxing than curses. he had listened to the voices in his head crying, begging to be let out, screaming - didn't you know? gods are meant to be worshipped, not loved. you were doomed from the very beginning of this story.
years later, as geto found himself defeated and tattered with unravelled strands of jet-black hair obstructing his fading vision and blood smeared across his temples, he gathered his last ounce of strength to look up at satoru for one last time. satoru, high and mighty, cold and detached. gojo satoru, a god.
all he could think of was a lousy summer morning, wet patches of grass, snow-covered mountains, a breath-taking boy and how he had felt known, seen, understood. he thought of the way he had smiled with furrowed brows, eyes crinkling into crescent moons as he responded to the question he was posed with, wishing he could take it all back.
"what if you grow sick of me? we should take a break in our next lives"
i did not mean it. i never meant it. how could i ask for such a thing? if anything, i was only talking about our next lives. so tell me satoru, why did it have to be this one? i will let you claw at my heart all you want. i will worship you until my knees give out. so-
"at least curse me a little at the very end"
wherever you go, take me with you.
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so my younger cousin is flying in to visit from brazil on sunday, and will be staying here for like, the entirety of july. which, don't get me wrong, is super cool! i love the kid! but it felt like a super weird move, considering his parents are the SUPER strict and borderline helicopter parents. even the smallest prank/roughousing with him/his little sister would lead to a strict talking to from his parents, he couldn't ever do anything without their clear permission, that sort of stuff. so letting him fly at alone at 16 to a whole different country and stay there for a whole month seemed WILDLY out of character. additionally, it just felt like a super last-minute trip. it's not like we have any plans to do when he gets here, and the flight itself and stuff only got booked like, midway through june.
and i was talking to my mom about it, kind of trying to nudge some answers out of her, and after a while she went, "yeah, i think they're sending him over here to get away for his boyfriend. see if the distance breaks them off." which, first of all, surprised me because last i checked, they didn't KNOW he had a boyfriend. literally everyone in the family did EXCEPT for them because while that entire side of the family being semi-conservative, his parents (mostly his dad) are EXTREMELY old-fashioned. so clearly something already went wrong. and considering the only reason the rest of the family knew is because one person found out and it spread like wildfire, i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the one to tell them, either.
and second of all. they're sending him HERE. to try to make him forget his homosexuality. i couldn't do anything but just wordlessly gesture to the multiple pride flags scattered around my room, then to myself, because really? he has like two other cousins in the us and they're sending him to me? honey i am about to introduce this kid to queer scenes you have never even heard of. he'll be returning home with labels only shrimp can perceive
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good games i've played on itchio lately:
please tell me you love me - chat with your guild members for the last time before the game's servers are shut down
GIRLKILLER (covet) - there is a girl who looks like you, and today you're going to kill her
cover me in leaves - stuck in your small hometown, you get your first tattoo. and then a few more, and more, and more
don't rock the boat - play through the different perspectives of a women's crew team as they are stalked by something in the water
GUTLESS - you are the captain of a deep sea vessel. your mission doesn't go well
so, about last night... - you wake up sick and weirdly hungry after hooking up with someone at a party. you spend the next night trying to find her.
close the window, my love - short bitsy poem about closing the window. sound on! this creator has a lot of short bitsy works i recommend.
there is a beautiful star - just a short, cute side scroller. lots of short, lighthearted games from them, definitely recommend for a mood booster.
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