#this is obviously a joke btw

[momojedi]

I finally figured it out.

Crosshair isn’t sad because he’s not with his brothers, guys.

This man is sad because he’s been on an ice cold toothpick withdrawal for months now.

Probably has a wall filled with tally marks based on how long he hasn’t had a precious toothpick between his teeth.

My man is depressed af.

#there #we now know the truth #i’m a genius #star wars #clone wars #bad batch #this is obviously a joke btw #clone trooper crosshair #q #other tags: #the bad batch #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars clone wars #tbb #star wars the bad batch

[theboytatu]

please rank exo members from straightest to fruitiest (for scientific purposes)

the 100% straight tier: jongdae for obvious reasons > kim "community dick" kai > kyungsoo. disney adult. enough said

"might make out with a buddy if enough alcohol is involved but would probably never dig further into it" tier: chanyeol. all that time spent at the gym there's no way he hasn't thought about sucking off one of the guys > junmyeon. the art hoe sensibilities have taught him not kissing a guy is actually gayer than kissing them if you think about it > minseok. i know we all love to joke about those drunk nights with leo but i wouldn't actually put him in the fruitiest tier just because he doesn't strike me as the type. maybe i'm wrong

"have taken it up the ass at least once" tier: baekhyun > sehun. more than once

#asks #this is obviously a joke btw

[funshinebf]

i need to hold a baby. if i was rich and had a butler one of their usual actions would be to bring be a baby to hold whenever i get baby withdrawals

#my post #this is obviously a joke btw #if i was rich i would just have my own baby. instead of needing a butler to outsource babies for me to hold

[kapicorn]

OMG GUYS IS THIS REALLY REAL ELON DUST HIMSELF WANTS TO GIVE ME BITSHITS?????!!!??!!! NOOOOO WAAAAAAYY😱😱😱😱😱 /j

#fuck elon musk for ruining twitter #twitter was already fucked before he came and now this shi is useless asf #just fuck him #thats all #this is obviously a joke btw #text

[commonboa]

people's insistence on calling trans men boys is really ... something. once or twice it's fine but if someone literally never calls grown ass trans men men, it gets weird and infantilizing.

#meej #obviously this doesn't apply to people who want to be called a boy and transmascs who arent men #transandrophobia #i feel the same about those white ass boy pussy and boy kisser jokes too btw

[lazycranberrydoodles]

i think the barbie movie would have a profound psychological impact on hua cheng

prev comic / next comic / follow for still more hualian barbie movie content because i am not done

bonus angsty version 🎉 i hate love expressions just a couple tiny lines on the mouth and eyebrows and it goes from silly to sad

:(

#this is a haha hua cheng devoted joke but idk it’s nice to think about how much of his identity and self worth is placed on xie lian #obviously since he was 10 most of his major life choices were to serve the crown prince #but in the interval time he became one of the most dangerous men in the world and decided it was his responsibility to create a ghost haven #he works on artistic mastery and alternatively brokers deals with and evades assassination attempts by heaven #if asked i think he would say he only does good for dianxia’s sake (What Would Dianxia Do) and is actually a bad person #and similar stuff about his combat and art skills #theres a question here about how much of his success is due to being such a determined person and how much #of it is luck from ‘the savior’ reversing the star of solitude #how much hua cheng is left when you take away xie lian? #he would say nothing #xie lian would say a billionaire genius playboy philantrophist etc #tgcf looooooves to talk about destiny and free will and so do i #all this to say if it was in character for hua cheng to cry at a movie hed be sobbing #this can be read as pre or post confession btw #the poll decided which version of the comic was the ‘main version’ above the cut #tgcf #art #comic #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hob #mxtx #my art #barbie #barbie movie #tgcf meme #lmao

[imsogayyippee]

sweetie. baby. that's autism

#this is a joke btw i obviously cant diagnose people jshdjsj #marble hornets #tim wright

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

#spilled ink #writeblr #slam poetry #i started this as a joke and ended up taking after #the poem about all the women in the world meeting in the bathroom #i can't find it to link it directly i've been googling for like 15 minutes if someone can remember #turns out frantically googling the only lines like ''women meeting in the bathroom'' #''secret womens meeting you always believed happened" is not useful for . to search??? help :( #also the reason this says harmless so many times is bc like #this is 100% about like #yeah man when ppl are mean about ppl enjoying things like. fuckin lady gaga #like this is so obviously about ppl who steal ur joy for no reason (i WILL steal ur joy if ur a bigot btw) #also yes it's bc someone was like ''liking the mcelroys in 2023 is cringe'' #and im like. dude what the fuck literally just let people like things it's LITERALLY not that deep. #like i dont like centipedes theyre one of like the 2 bugs im squicked out by ... but like. #if u really like centipedes. im like so happy for you. i hope you can put socks on ur centipedes #so they can speedclean ur floors. that would be fun and cool!!! #i love u i hope all of you have a weird passion i love you i hope that passion fills your life like soap bubbles

[momojedi]

Dear friends, I committed a great sin, one I’m not sure I’ll be able to properly walk away from.

I have seen a thirst edit of Rampart recently … and I’m lowkey attracted to him now.

I profoundly apologise to the Star Wars community.

#i’m sorry #he’s fine though #this is obviously a joke btw #but he is fine #his actions? not so #the bad batch #star wars #clone wars #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars clone wars #tbb #bad batch #star wars the bad batch #wouldn’t mind getting caught as a rebel though 😮‍💨

[jadelion]

Okay okay okay wait stop listen

I was watching Quinton Reviews' newest video and it brought something to my attention:

Ted Spankoffski alternate ending

#(obviously this is a joke) #also someone may have said this before but i still felt the need to #ALSO ALSO his name is the Time Jerker #and his real name is apparently fucking Tim Jerkowsky #ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? #(btw he has like a time machine or something) #starkid #starkid tgwdlm #ted spankoffski #starkid nightmare time #starkid tinky #nightmare time spoilers

[1-nexomon-a-day]

Hey guys, i decided i dont like Nexomon anymore, this is now a Yokai watch-a-day-blog lmao

Jibanyan!

#art #fanart #doodle #jibanyan #yokai watch #yo kai watch #digital art #art challenge #ibispaint art #this is obviously an april fools joke btw #4/1/24 #april fools

[tallykale]

have you guys heard of ocs. crazy stuff

casey belongs to koby @wiihtigo

#my art #ocs #nell #casey #umm sorry for not posting anything for months on end i dont really have a good excuse #i guess i got obsessed with my oc what can i tell you #i should clean up her ref a little and post it here lol #idgaf. ask me about them if you want #referenced from the achewood strip obviously btw not my original joke

[tell-them-the-north-remembers]

Don't get me wrong, I hate Robert Baratheon as much as the next person, he is awful. That being said, his hatred of Targs is SO real. Like every time someone so much as says the word Targaryen he is like "Fuck them all" and that might be the most relatable thing I have found in the book as I am re-reading AGOT again.

#this is obviously a joke btw so don't be offended #like i said i know robert is bad #but this is just too good to not talk about #really fuck them targs #they ruin everything #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #robert baratheon #anti house targaryen #house targaryen

[welcome-to-hell-ya-gucks]

Y’all gotta get better synonyms for a males genitals. “Dick” and “cock” are getting boring. Why not call it a meat cylinder? Hmm? That’s because you all are cowards. You all are cowards for not calling dicks meat cylinders. Why say:

“I stroked his cock tenderly”

When instead you could be saying:

“I stroked his meat cylinder tenderly”

Hmm???!

THATS BECAUSE EVERYONE ON THIS APP IS A COWARD EXCEPT FOR ME!! IM THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THE TITS TO CALL A DICK A MEAT CYLINDER.

#writing #I don’t know what I was on when writing this #this is obviously a joke #btw

[miumiumandoodz]

the only correct way to draw them:

Beelzebub has to fit in Gabriel's pockets

Gabriel has to be kaiju sized

Gabriel has to have ultra yaoi hands

Gabriel's head scale to his body is 1:36

#ineffable bureaucracy #good omens #good omens 2 #this is obviously joking btw #I firmly believe everyone can draw them however they want #these are beautiful characters that deserve the kind of respect and love you wanna give them #whatever your headcanon or your style for them is valid don't let people say otherwise #don't gatekeep in fandoms we're all here to have fun

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

#garashir #inspired by some garashir fanfic tropes that are BELOVED by me <3 #obviously this argument is just for funsies like two kittens playfighting #they would turn into goop and merge with each other like changelings if they could #Star Trek: Deep Space 9 #today I offer you: little joke posts that only I find funny. tomorrow? statistically speaking probably the same thing. #a/b/o gave us the concept of ''can't pull out cause of the knot'' but I want a version of that from the pussy perspective #tired of the top always getting to decide these things. my idea is we're done when the ajan says we're done. #actually it's garashir so more likely it would simply be garak lying #''Sorry doctor you can't pull out because of Cardassian xenobiology reasons :( no I will not explain anything further about this btw #but it's DEFINITELY a medical necessity and not me being a freak I prommy <3'' #Starky's Original Posts #text post photosets #hm. not seeing heaven for these tags I think.