#this is really just me thirsting and very poorly covering it with a modern au

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

geralt and eskel trying to out-beef each other like the true himbo thots they are?? 🥺🥺

oh hellllllll fuckin yes. okay. full himbo jock brain activated: 

It starts out by Geralt doing physical therapy for a back injury

he gets the yummy ropey back muscles that make my brain go hhhnngggg and Eskel is annoyed because he used to be the hot one

Eskel starts going to the gym with him and suggests whoever has the driest shirt at the end of the day has to buy the protein smoothies on their way out

Geralt is nothing if not competitive and adds in extra treadmill time at the end of his routine - he never loses- our boi is sweaty

Eskel is big on arms - they’re massive and he lifts lambert up by his scruff to show off in bars now

Geralt is big on glutes and legs - yes bc he wants to have a delicious ass, but also bc lower back stability is greatly improved by glute and leg workouts 

 he has Jaskier climb on his back and does squats - Jask blue screens for a whole day

Geralt has fucking b e a u t i f u l calves. like hhhhnnnnnggggggg

Eskel has those quads of fuckin steel

They have a competition for heaviest chest press

someone makes a comment about Geralt’s magnificent tits and Geralt leans into it. He does tits and glutes together and our boi gets shapely

They have a bulking phase and Geralt gets a little shy over his added layer of floof.

Eskel gets hit on SO much more when he goes out defs doesn't have a threesome with a succubus and terrifyingly sexy woman he meets in a bar and he drags Geralt out of the house kicking and screaming to show him the wonders of the soft buff bod

They both get laid

Geralt is too much of a himbo to take advantage of this but Eskel is the devious oldest child and he takes off at a full sprint

dude gets dicked down at least weekly and pretty much can get laid whenever he wants

Geralt says Eskel owes him a huge favor because his back injury was what started this

Eskel’s response is to turn to Jaskier and tell him the himbo is in love with him - it evens out nicely

#fuck me sideways #i havent written in so long #this was a fight #but goddamnit i love me some beefy strong witchers #i just wanna be sandwiched between them #forever #id die a happy woman #geralt #eskel #geralt of rivia #the witcher #the witcher eskel #beefy bois #kaer morons #beefy kaer morons #this is really just me thirsting and very poorly covering it with a modern au #bc lets be real chonky strong eskel could GET IT