#this is so fucking good!!!!!!!!

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

#'your moon is here' things that make me explode like a supernova #UGHHHHHHH what if i was perpetually in your orbit. influencing the tides. protecting you from asteroids. and slowly drifting further away. #then you stopped moving and i was only pulse to your dead heart. orbiting you. right where ive been left. and so you started turning again. #ria.txt #personal #space opera au #(<- not about what you think is about) #hiiii this is gaining traction so glad we're all going insane :D your moon is here is SO fucked up. so good. #xkcd #randall munroe #space #moon #anyways xkcd comics are so good. entertaining witty and informative. check em out!

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

#I’m so mad everyone I’m sorry I’m going to make sure EVERYONE sees the proper version of mcc this year or die trying #literally this song is so important to the narrative and the film is so fucking hollow without it #if you grew up with disney’s bullshit version and thought it was good WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS SHIT #please. please watch the REAL version of this film. it means a lot to me ok #the muppet christmas carol #for the love of god please people

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[somewhatvellum]

this will sureily convince the people that the royal family are not out of touch moneywasters and that we should be happy keeping them around for sure

#charles is already so unpopular why the fuck does he think this is a good idea 😭 #uk politics #uk monarchy #op #popular

[puppyboypatrick]

online friends are like. i would trust you with my life. i have never seen your knees

#no good fucking television #lk.txt #pansys biggest hits #i changed this to gay sex but i felt bad so i changed it back. if u saw it in the 5 minutes it was like that hi ur a real one

[butchdykekondraki]

all queer discourse could be stopped if we all just remembered that in the eyes of conservative fascists we're all dirty queers polluting their kids minds who need to be eradicated at all costs

#[ren] #queer discourse doesnt matter they want us all dead equally. all of you are so fucking stupid good god

[bishopfish]

Imagine being a tuna (Atlantic bluefin, Thunnus thynnus). You are a super predator, over six feet long and almost a ton. You are as beautiful and shiny and mercilessly efficient as a sports car, a true marvel of the sea. But you taste so fucking good

#fish #anyway. shoutout to anyone who’s favorite animal also tastes so fucking good

[et-in-arkadia]

this is such incredible advice for creating any kind of art i have to put it over here to remind myself

#thanks michael #this is also like #devastating in a way #like thinking of him playing aziraphale #with aziraphale desperate to be alive #to connect to breathe to see to touch #michael giving all of that over in his performance so that aziraphale can live again through him #i’m mortally wounded #michael sheen #good omens #fucking michael sheen man #creativity

[noperopesaredope]

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

#eleanor shellstrop #you know i was thinking about how we hold female characters to such high standards #and severely criticize bitchy female characters while praising asshole male characters #and then i remembered eleanor and realized that she is the perfect example of how to write an asshole woman that the audience likes #the worse she is the more i'm drawn to her (and honestly same for tahani) #we need more cringe-fail women who nobody likes (for good reason) #the good place #female characters #writing women #girl failure #girl loser #she's so mean #i love her #my favorite #fucking asshole #iconic #the good place eleanor #tgp #tgp eleanor #kristen bell

[xshinina]

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head

#sansmaeda #sansmaeda wedding #undertale #danganronpa #nagito komaeda #sans undertale #meme post #I swear there's a reason why not everyone attended in nagito's side #no one wanted to go in the first place #sdr2 #fanart #so for the record: #Ibuki DID attend but could't stay put for 5 minutes so she got bored and left #Teruteru is still pretty angry and bitter at Nagito #Hiyoko couldn't care less and thought it was gross #Akane saw no reason to go since her main source of food wouldn't go (Teruteru) #And spoiler alert but Chiaki's fucking dead lmao #she would've gone tho #probably #Also pretend nagito's using really good foundation on his hand cuz I totally forgot about his metal arm

[peblezq]

Good Omens 2 was like reading a 100k fanfic in the middle of the night that you realize was left unfinished and last updated 5 years ago, and you are left alone with this earth-shattering cliffhanger

#i am not okay #this season is going to destroy me #i am obsessed #but so fucking distraught #neil gaiman #good omens #good omens 2

[kylejsugarman]

only thing i know for certain is that if "breaking bad" took place during modern times, jesse would've used his cash to buy a drone and there would've been a sick ass sequence filmed from drone perspective and one episode cold open would've been all scary and sinister and it would end with an ominous shot of the drone laying all crushed and fucked up on the floor to imply harm done to jesse. and it would be really sad

#syd squeaks #he'd still have a roomba i think bc thats just a good investment. its good technology. it vacuums for u #but i can so easily picture sad drone all fucked up #breaking bad #jesse pinkman

[gronjon44]

#Pride may be over but the gays are winning and Disney is getting their shit rocked

#fuck yeah #im so proud of this movie #nimona #nimona 2023 #nimona netflix #eat shit disney you lost a good thing #nd stevenson

[serialunaliver]

seeing anyone praise biden right now after the horrors he saw and dismissed with his own eyes for so long is disgusting. the only reason he's speaking up is the US government would lose credibility with allies from this specific incident of aid workers dying - he certainly did not mind all the aid workers dying before...it has to be "close to home" enough to cause a PR crisis for the white house for any concern to be expressed by his administration. and "threats" are not action. has the money flow to israel stopped? has the consistent military support? he could completely denounce israel and it would mean nothing when he's still aiding the genocide

#so fucking ignorant to claim he has any good intentions or redeemed himself #but i've seen liberals use this to say he's not that bad #seriousposting

[saddle-up-sheenie]

This is your villain? This one, right here?

Okay weirdo.

#be so fucking for real #good omens #innefable husbands #aziraphale #crowley

[clown-owo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot #i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself #just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔 #so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal #my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me. #chelldos #but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time #portal #chell #GlaDOS #GlaD0S #my art #og post #1k #5k #10k #20k #edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character. #because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place #and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing #i didn't think it would gain much attention #i was Wrong #anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline #EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you