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#this is so messy but am posting anyways!!
gimmeurtmi · 2 days
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say please — han
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pairing: han jisung x fem!reader
tags: established relationship, minor dom/sub dynamics, smut!🔞
warnings: swearing, minor dom/sub dynamics, both are switches, spitting, like a lot of spitting, squirting, fingering, mess!!, use of “gross”, “disgusting”, “messy” but in a sexy way, ji calls reader mommy, fingering, oral (f receiving), overstimulation, undisclosed use/disuse of protection, enjoy <3
inspo: ji’s insta post <3
notes: a gift for my baby juni @hyunsvngs i hope you like it it’s your fault either way <3
{ wc: 1780 }
“what?” jisung turns to you after you whine loudly at him.
you’re both lazing around in bed, have been since you arrived back home after going out for lunch. it’s getting warmer now but you’re still in sweats and one of ji’s hoodies. you don’t mean to match each other but jisung has a lot of grays in his closet, and so you end up in the same colour scheme.
“can you stop texting and give me attention?” you pout.
jisung quickly puts his phone away and turns his body fully towards you.
“you were watching tiktoks,” he pouts back.
“i’m bored of them now,” you shrug, caging his hips between your legs as you roll on top of him.
“and what do you wanna do now?” he pushes your hair away from you, gravity doing its job by letting all of it fall on jisung’s face. he splutters around dramatically before neatly tucking it behind your ears.
“annoy you,” you say, kissing his cheek.
“that’s not annoying,” he smiles softly. the movement causes his cheeks to bunch up, allowing you to take a bite from his flesh with a giggle.
“ow!” he yells, trying to push you off him.
he can’t, as you’ve trapped him underneath your thighs, and all he can do is kick around the bed while you keep biting around his cheeks.
“you can’t keep eating me,” he whines loudly, pushing at your shoulders.
you move back slightly, smirking at your boyfriend.
“what?” he gaps at you.
“you’re hard,” you point out.
“yes, what else is new?” he scoffs at you, running his hands up and down your thighs slowly.
“was it the biting?” you chuckle.
“no,” he looks away, “i didn’t know you were so strong.”
you knit your brows at his confession, cocking your head to the side slowly.
“what?”
“you can hold me down pretty well,” he pointed out, “didn’t realise.”
“alright,” you say, because you aren’t sure what else you should say.
“can i eat you out now?” he pouts, eager, as if that was the next obvious thing to say in that moment in time.
it wasn’t, so you start laughing loudly.
“it’s not funny!” he defends, “i need your lips on mine.”
you lean down to kiss him softly.
“not those lips,” he mumbles against the kiss, before sinking his hand in your hair as he deepens it.
you kiss him slowly, despite his efforts to turn the kiss messy you don’t let him—controlling the pace subtly, but jisung scums to it anyway.
when you’re both out of air you pull away slowly, jisung’s heavy breaths against your skin.
“want my pussy?” you ask, breathless.
“yeah,” he nods, eyes shiny, “yes.”
“not like that,” you click your tongue, “be good.”
“i-i am! you know how good i can make you feel,” he urges.
“i do know,” you smile at him, “i also know you have manners.”
“come on,” he pouts at you, eyes so so big in front of you.
you quickly get off him, pulling off your clothes in a hurry before you spread your legs in front of him.
“oh, fuck,” he blushes, “fuck it’s so pretty. pussy so so pretty,”
he grabs your thighs, pulling you towards him in one quick motion.
your boyfriend is so soft and sweet you can often forget how strong his arms are and the force he’s able to use on you if he wanted.
“ji, shirt off,” you tell him, and he quickly peels off his layers.
now you can see his arms, look at them as much as you’d like. it makes your mouth water. you start wondering how it would feel to bite his arms instead of his cheek, and when jisung sees you aren’t looking at him he starts whining again.
“attention,” he lets out in a whine.
you chuckle at him softly before locking eyes.
“can i now?” his face is a few inches away from your pussy, so close you can feel little puffs of air on your wetness every time he breathes.
you want to push his head right into your cunt but you don’t. instead, you just shake your head.
“spit,” you tell him, your fingers carding through his long hair.
jisung quickly does as he’s told, like he always does, and gathers spit on his tongue. he lets it fall down, maintaining eye contact, and his spit slowly starts running down your folds.
you can’t help whimpering at the feeling.
“more, more,” you ask, raising your hips to meet his spit halfway.
jisung lets more and more of it fall, a few times landing directly on your clit and you keen loudly at the feeling. “make it messy, ji, fuck.”
jisung can’t wait any longer, and he surges forward to wrap his lips around your pussy—but you stop him.
“you didn’t say please,” you tsk, “so you aren’t getting any.”
jisung’s eyes widen in realisation and he quickly opens his mouth to start begging. you fucking love it when he begs, but this time, it won’t help him. so you grab his wrist and sink his fingers in his own mouth before he can start begging and change your mind.
the sound gets caught in his throat, so does his moan.
“give me your fingers, ji,” you say, slowly moving his fingers in and out of his mouth with the grip you have on his wrist, “fuck me with your fingers.”
jisung nods eagerly.
you let his fingers slide out of his mouth with a small pop, and he wastes no time before rubbing his fingers all over your folds, spreading the spit around everywhere.
“messy,” he says, a little dazed.
he slowly sinks his finger in, and noticing there’s little resistance thanks to his dick stretching you out this morning, he quickly sinks in another one.
you let out a loud moan at the fullness.
“wanna taste you,” he whines, a louder one coming out when all you do is shake your head.
“fingers, need them,” you moan out, as he pushes in deep and fast. he adds a third finger, the stretch now deeper and so so sweet as your wetness helps him easily glide his fingers in and out.
you let him spit on your cunt again, a high pitch moan leaving you at the contact.
“tits, tits,” you don’t even know what you’re saying, “make my tits messy, too.”
jisung quickly moves up the bed, continuing the fast pace of his fingers before he sticks out his tongue above your tits.
they bounce softly from the impact of him finger fucking you, and he tries his hardest to aim the string of spit towards your nipple. it doesn’t work, so instead he rubs the spit around, smearing it around your nipple as you moan loudly from the added stimulation.
“fuck it’s so gross,” you whine, “so dirty.”
“so fucking gross,” he agrees, this time spitting harshly on your other nipple. the wet contact and his words cause you to start clenching around his fingers. “so messy, you like it so messy it’s disgusting.”
“make a mess, please, baby,” you moan.
“mommy loves it gross,” jisung pouts at you, and you feel the knot in your stomach start to tighten.
“ji, ji, i’m so fucking close,” you grab his hair, pushing him back between your legs.
his eyes zero in on your cunt, the loud wet noises and your moans filling the room as jisung starts to whine again. “please, let me taste.”
“fuck, fuck, i’m so close, fuck,” you chant, “ji!”
jisung somehow manages to fit in another finger, sinking them in all the way to his knuckles.
“ji, ji, ji, ji,” you babble out incoherently.
“mommy, i’m doing everything, please let me taste,” he begs.
“stick your tongue out, baby,” he quickly does so, his eyes wide and looking up at you as his tongue sticks out millimetres away from your soaking pussy, “fuckfuck, i’m gonna squ—“
and before you can say anything, your stomach tightens and your thighs starts shaking and your clit pulses as a gush of water squirts out as your orgasm takes over your body.
you can’t let yourself look away even as the pleasure takes over you because jisung is doing his best to catch all of it on his tongue, his face covered in your release.
your thighs are covered in it and so is your stomach and everything is wet around you and your walls are pulsing tightly around four of jisung’s fingers but before you can notice any of that jisung wraps his lips around your clit harshly as he pushes his fingers as deep as they can go and flicks them hard against your walls.
you cry out from the overstimulation and the way his fingers brush against your sensitive spot but jisung doesn’t stop, only pulls away for a moment to say, “fuck, i need you to do that again.”
so you let him keep going, the pleasure taking over your whole body as your thighs close around his head and you scream.
“ji, it’s too much, holy fuck—“
he hums against your clit and it sends you over the edge again, but for whatever reason you don’t squirt this time.
still, your orgasm takes over your body for at least forty seconds.
once you recover you open your eyes to see jisung taking off his boxers—that are soaked through his own release.
“i’m fucking the shit out of you, you don’t even get it,” he says urgently, grabbing your hips and flipping you onto your stomach.
you’re leaning on the wetness now, the covers soaked in your release and jisung’s spit and before you can complain jisung grabs your hair and sinks his dick inside you. the stretch feels so fucking good, your walls looser but still not enough to accommodate comfortably for jisung’s girth. and the sensitivity of two orgasms so close together means you’re already clenching around him.
“everything is wet, ji,” you complain, and jisung pinches your nipples in response. hard.
you moan loudly and he says, “mommy likes the mess, huh? so i’m gonna push your face into the mattress you squirted on and you’re gonna thank me.”
he pushes your face into the mattress, and it smells like cum and spit and a little bit like sweat and when you don’t say anything he thrusts into you.
“thank you, ji,” you whimper out, “now fuck my brains out.”
“say please?” he chuckles, before grabbing your hips tightly and drilling into you.
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thecapricunt1616 · 1 day
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Damiana (c.b. oneshot)
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♡ O/S Inspo: Damiana (otherwise known as loveseed) is used to increase the intensity of sexual magick, increase magical energy, divination, dreams/clairvoyance, enhance pleasure and increase psychic abilities.
♡ Summary: You & Carmy wake up extra early on your day off for some reason, so he knows a good way to put you both back to sleep.
♡ W/C: 1,737
♡ Posted Date: 04/18/2024
♡ A/N: OMG Thank you all for 100 followers what the actual heck!!! I want to give each and every one of you a forehead smoochin, thank you so much for hanging out with me and supporting my work! As per usual my requests are alwayyys open! For Carmy x Reader & Carmy x Sydney I woke up today at the asscrack of dawn for no reason at all, and was hit with a strike of writing lightning!! Just in time for my 100 follower celebration :D!!! I hope you enjoy this smutty smutty goodness. Sidenote - Taylor is releasing an album tomorrow so I am bouncing off the walls of my iron cage and gnawing at the bars I'M SO READY!!!! ANYWAYS enjoy my friends <3
♡ Warnings for BTC: Unedited (we die like men!!!)  Breeding kink, swearing, smut smut smut, fluffy needy Carmy, established relationship NO USE OF Y/N
➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡
➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡
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Early mornings with Carmy were your favorite. Well - the early mornings that he wasn’t jumping in the shower even before the sun had kissed the horizon. But these mornings. 
You woke up this morning at 4:52 - it was Sunday, your favorite day. Carmy & your day. The Bear was closed, the single day a week that it was - so it meant your loving, wonderful husband could stay in bed with you until 3 if he wanted.  
He’d told you many times before if you woke before him for some reason on your sacred together day, to wake him because he didn’t want to spend a moment without you - but for now, you watch. 
It wasn’t often you saw your beloved man like this, fully at peace. Well, other then when he fucked you - but while awake he never fully looked this peaceful. 
You carefully brushed his messy curls off of his forehead, dragging your nails across his scalp gently. You just couldn’t help it, you knew how much he loved it. 
‘Mmm?’ He grumbled, his voice thick and low, husky with sleep. 
“Sorry” you whispered, smiling a bit. You couldn’t help but think of a grizzly bear when he’d make noises like that. While he was in this half asleep - half awake state, he would grunt and huff and grumble, especially on Sundays. 
Just like any other day, his internal clock was on time - and today - he has 0 alarms set. 
“No ‘s fine been up” he said softly. 
You kissed his forehead tenderly, the faintest bit of mint sticking to his breath from last night when he brushed his teeth before practically crawling to bed since he was so exhausted. 
“Bear- it’s Sunday- go to sleep” you said, gently rubbing over his bare chest with your soft palm. 
“Damn birds” he grumbled, causing you to giggle. 
“Y’know it’s the boys, actually? Because the uh…the moms. They go out before the sun, to find breakfast. And the dads are - well. Scientists theorize - that the dads are calling the moms back to the nest, like an alarm the kids are up and hungry” you said softly. 
He hums in interest, rolling on his side with his eyes still closed and gently kissing down your neck as you spoke 
“All I heard was a really good reason we don’t have kids yet” he said, voice deep and thick with sleep. 
“Yeah yeah ok Mr ‘im gonna make you a mom’ “ you imitated his horny raspy voice and he chuckled, snaking his hand under your shirt and rubbing over your stomach gently 
“I am as soon as you take this fuckin thing outta y’r arm” he gently bites down on the inside of your bicep where your implant was, sucking gently, causing you to laugh. 
“I swear to god - your hormones Carm, it's like you’re ovulating or something” you teased and he snorts a laugh into your skin 
“Not my fault you make me horny in the morning” he reached up, palming your breast and squeezing gently 
“You were horny before you woke up fucker, I feel you” you teased, wiggling into his bulge that was pressing into your ass firmly. 
He moaned softly, rolling his hips into yours “Y’gonna help me out or do I have to go shower?” He teased with a grin. 
You roll your eyes playfully “gonna make me work before the sun is even fully in the sky?” You asked and he chuckled a bit 
“No. Just stay right like this. I can play with you, right?” He kissed your jaw gently, nipping at the sensitive part near your ear and soothing the sting with his tongue in a way that made you whine. 
“Yes. But I wanna feel good too” you said, voice needy already. It was quite embarrassing the effect he so easily had on you, he barely even had to try. 
“Oh of course princess, y’think I’d neglect my favorite toy? When have I ever left you without makin’ sure y’feel good mm?” He kissed the base your neck right at the top of your spine, spreading your thighs with his knee, your bodies flush together. 
“Well there was that one time-“ you teased as he pulled his cock out 
“Oh the one time I punished you f’r bein’ a brat.” He squeezed your hip and trailed his hand around your stomach, rubbing gently before dipping his fingers in your panties, finding your clit and humming in satisfaction when you whine hotly, arching into his frame further. 
“Cause you were wearing those slutty gray sweatpants and every bitch in the grocery store was staring at your dick print” you counter, causing him to chuckle, the vibration coursing through you since you were flush to him like one being.
“mmmm and is that why you’re so wet, cause you’re thinkin’ about me wearing something slutty?” He teased rubbing slow firm circles in the way that made you writhe and squirm. 
“Stop teasing before you nut all over my back” you smirk and he gasps, feigning offense. 
“Someone is mouthy this morning” he moved the fabric to the left, rubbing his thick cock over your folds easily with your slick aiding him, moaning softly. 
“Mmmm thank you” you rest your head back on his shoulder, eyes fluttering shut. “Feels soooo nice.” You mumble as he slowly rolls his hips, the head of his cock teasing your clit just enough. 
It wasn’t a full rub, not enough to make you cum for a while, but more a pleasant gentle massage. You felt his hand back on your stomach, rubbing short strokes up and down as he pants, in pure quiet bliss. That was something you adored about him-  whenever you were in public, he was shy, quiet. So quiet. But when you were alone together- the man didn’t have an off switch. 
Neither did you, but yours didn’t shut off in public, either. You did enough talking for the both of you, it was what drew him to you. The only time you made him more quiet, was when he was playing with you this way in the morning. You were pretty sure it was the time, his brain hadn’t fully woken yet - but he had one thought bouncing around like a DVD video logo his cock was achingly hard. 
“I’m probably gonna fall asleep but you’ll wake me right?” You asked and all you got in response was a breathy ‘mmhmm’ 
He gently bit down on your neck, then your shoulder, then your arm, causing you to giggle and look back at him as well as you could “you wanna suck on it. Don’t you.” You teased, referring to your implant. 
Another whiny ‘mmhmm’ and he rolls his hips a bit harder, causing you to moan as his tip ruts over your clit firmer 
“So sweet.” You smiled lazily, closing your eyes once more and humming “I love this Bear y’make me feel so good” you said softly and he whimpers 
“Fuckin’ hell y’too sweet. Lettin’ me play with you like this sweetheart, the sweetest girl” he praises, pushing the hair from your messy sleep off your forehead and kissing your temple. 
“Cus’ y’the best husband” you laced your fingers together and held your hands over your stomach. 
“Mmmm y’know I fuckin love hearin’ y’say that, right?” He rasps, hips getting sloppier and rougher as he got closer to his high. 
“I do every time I say my husband on the phone you blush. It's the cutest thing that you’re still feelin’ like we’re on our honeymoon 2 whole years later” you kissed his hand sweetly. 
“Cause I’m so fuckin’ lucky. Can’t fuckin’ believe y’agreed to take my last name babe. The way you say our last name is so fuckin pretty” he said, kissing your shoulder gently
“I feel so fancy with it. Mrs.Berzatto. Berzatto is so much cooler then my maiden name.” you said 
“Fuckin hell sweetheart im so close can I please cum in you?” He begged, his voice needy and wanting
“Of course Bear Y’don’t need to ask” you said and he released your hand, placing his palm at the base of your abdomen and slipping in, filling you to the hilt. 
You whimper, back arching slightly “mmm feel’so full” you mutter, gasping as he started a quick snap of his hips, jaw falling slack. 
“It’s so fuckin hot that I can feel myself fuck you” he pressed his palm firmer into your abdomen, angling himself in a way to both feel himself better, but also slide perfectly against your gspot 
“Yeah y’get so deep bear. Y’gonna fill me up? Y’gonna knock me up? Mmm?” You whine, your own orgasm approaching fast 
“Fuck yeah I am princess sh-iiit. Fuck gonna make y’a fuckin mom” he grunts, spreading your legs further and reaching down to rub your clit making you clench around him. 
He whimpers hips stuttering as he ruts into you, completely bottoming out trying to get as deep as he can as he empty’s his huge load into you, breathing hard and remaining still inside of you while he rubs your clit in quicker circles. 
He could tell you were on the edge because of the way you were clenching and unclenching around his now overstimulated cock, he wanted to get you there so he could remain inside of you for a while. 
“That’s it, my good girl. Thank you Angel, you took me so well. Y’can always handle whatever I give you it’s so fuckin hot.  Now I’m gonna make sure y’re all taken care of, mmm? Just like I promised” he said softly into the shell of your ear before kissing your head gently. 
“I’m cumming. I’m fucking cumming - oh- fuck-“ you whine, thighs shaking as some of your mixed arousal drips down his balls to his thigh. 
“Gooood. Tha’s it, good girl” he praised, slowing his fingers to a slow rub as he worked you down. 
“Mmm that was so nice Carmy” you hummed, looking back and kissing his lips lovingly. 
“So nice princess. Thank y’for letting me” he kissed the tip of your nose gently “can I stay in a little longer” he kissed your jaw gently 
“Course- I was actually gonna ask you to. I like falling asleep like this” you laced your fingers together holding your interlocked hands over your belly.  “Y’so fuckin perfect” he mumbled into the skin of your neck.
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sophie-frm-mars · 14 hours
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Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.
I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.
A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.
You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.
I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.
Anyways, best wishes. Take care.
Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.
Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.
For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again
https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531
I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.
As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.
(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)
I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.
I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.
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a messy review of TTPD
okay i need to preface this that i have the credentials to be able to speak my mind on her. i've been a fan since 2006. i've been a fan since i was 11 so don't get your panties in a bunch.
i think this album is messy. the production is the only thing i can really praise about it. the lead up to it and now the full release has just been so unbelievably messy. i'm going to make a continue reading for the people who still have yet to listen where i won't spoil it for you. PS. i do get mean in this. so if you're not wanting to hear critiques and criticism and taking that in, please scroll.
SPOILERS AHEAD
i am fully aware she is allowed to go through the grieving process of her breakup with joe. i respect that whole heartedly. i completely understand having someone in your life for such a big chunk and for them to be gone and feeling lost and alone and angry. what i don't like at all is essentially telling us in this album that she couldn't handle joe having severe depression. obviously i don't know everything that went down but it seems as though he didn't want to get married until he felt mentally better. and as someone who is also in the same boat as him, i also wouldn't want to fully commit to marriage until i felt like i could give them 100%. and if that's his biggest crime, being too depressed, then that's a her problem. being depressed is not all "haha relatable".
now onto... that man... i did not expect 90% of this album to be about him. i've only hated two people in my life. one being a family member of mine. the other, him (i will not be saying his name because he does not deserve it). the way she spent so much of this album talking about how she will defend him with her life. girl i am begging you to get up off the ground. it felt like a backstab from her in "but daddy, i love him" where she's basically saying fuck everyone for ruining a relationship i wanted. the reason no one wanted her with him is because he's a racist, misogynistic, homophobic asshole. i am aware he supports queer rights but it seems like he only cares about queer rights and the safety of queer people when it involves white queer people (ie. what happened in dubai and malaysia). i'm almost confident she cheated on joe with him while her and joe were still together. i'm sorry to taylor that i care about BIPOC and queer people's rights than making a racist white man happy.
joe truly got the short end of the stick here. he has been treated so horribly this past year by swifties who made up rumors about him just to make taylor seem like the good guy and the only thing this album told me was she was the villain in all of this. i hope joe has a good support system around him and i hope he's able to get any mental health help he needs. i do also think that taylor desperately needs a therapist as well. she is very adament about not having one and just using her mom and her friends but she needs an outside source to really listen and give her advice that isn't "yes man"-ing her all day long.
anyways, like i said at the beginning of this post, i enjoyed the production. my favorite songs were fortnight and who's afraid of little old me. it's gonna take time for me to enjoy this album outside of its messiness. i did enjoy midnights btw. so it's definitely not the sound i don't like it's just everything surrounding it.
70/100
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ccrites · 2 days
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Signal Lost
I've had something happen to me that's so incredible and that I could have never hoped, something so touching and so unbelievable that it made me rethink a whole lot of stuff: a wonderful reader on Ao3 started reading my long-form fic (101k words!!!) and commented basically every chapter after a certain point. And wow, I would have never thought something like this might happen.
And yeah, it is my first fic with plot in it, yeah I will never believe it to be perfect, but it's good enough. And receiving all those emails from Ao3 really was the highlight of my days over the course of which I saw said reader slowly go through all my favorite parts!
And so I wish to give it some spotlight here, while I'm finishing up my school year and work and whatever! I will post this here for now, but I will drop chapters every few days and make a Masterlist for it this weekend. I have too many loose ideas in my head so this is just to pass the time till the brain worms wiggle all in the same direction
So without further ado:
Link to AO3 here : Signal Lost - a John Price x reader fic
----- here's a blurb to pique your interest!
“I don’t think I’ve ever received a document as classified as this one. What am I supposed to do with it, Kate?” he says, dragging his thumb across the pile of papers, each file filled with more ink than the last.
“You asked for proof, there’s your proof,” Laswell says.
“You said you’ll bring someone competent, and who can help us, this doesn’t tell me shit.” He stares blankly at the screen, tired. She stares back.
“The Captain specifically asked to keep this under wraps.”
He rubs at his face, scratching at his beard. It’s getting long again.
“Who is he, anyway?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
He groans again, picking up the file on top. No photo, no name, no age, no height, weight, no nothing . And he thought Simon was secretive.
“What can you tell me?”
“It’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to him. Did things a particular way.”
He shifts through the papers. “And the discharge?”
“Left after the entire team got wiped out. Messy stuff.”
“That why he doesn’t show his face?” He bends forward, grabbing the cigar from the ashtray and bringing it to his lips.
“John.” Her voice carries a heavy warning.
“Just sayin’,” he says, biting around the cigar with one side of the mouth. “What kinda captain doesn’t go down with his men?”
“Got enough guilt as is. You’re lucky I convinced them.”
They both remain silent. They know the missions would be a slippery slope. One wrong move and a war is started. He puffs a cloud of smoke.
“Anything else?” John asks.
Kate looks to the side, her face illuminated by another screen. He can see her hesitate, her lips are pursed in a thin line as if she’s debating her options.
“You’ve worked together before.”
His face lights up. “Finally! Who?”
Her face immediately hardens back up. “Can’t tell, John, my hands are tied.” She sighs. “You were still a Lieutenant.”
Years ago then. He mentally catalogs everyone he’s ever worked with, but he knows that at that age, he was throwing himself at every available mission, wanting to make a name for himself. “So an old fart then? How’s that gonna help us?” If the guy was a Captain when he was still a Lieutenant, and he felt himself grow old, he can’t imagine who Laswell is bringing back from the dead.
Laswell’s face distorts, he knows he’s pushing her buttons, but he has to know.
“Not older than you John.”
His eyebrows raise. “Oh?”
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returning to the military to hunt Makarov is hard enough, to do it with your past lover is even harder. a "friends to lovers to enemies to friends and back to lovers" story
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Tags and other CW: will be posted for each chapter containing warnings for more hardcore stuff (i.e., torture and angst namely), but this is a fanfic, with smut, so if you want all the tags feel free to check the ao3 link bc there are a LOT and I am lazy to retype them all here
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glitterghost · 8 months
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like there is a particular kind of sadness (or loneliness, if you will) that ace/aro folk feel.
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fumifooms · 3 months
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
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#Chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#analysis#HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY#You know what yeah understandable have a good day#Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm#Anyways I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s#How he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many#Compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol#He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers#He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help#Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’#Is nice in his opinion#This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost…#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc#Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡
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i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:
it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head
see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.
but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.
(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)
and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.
(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.
of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)
in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!
maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.
but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!
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acekindaneat · 1 year
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he gets a bit grumpy when he's tired 😥 let him sleep
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babushkas · 1 year
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since the day you invited me to play soccer i've always been with you. we've promised, right? we're gonna win the world cup together
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izzypaw · 9 months
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after i made the undertale ones i knew i couldn't NOT make matching icons of these 2 aswell...
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saline-coelacanth · 2 months
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I wanted to make a little post about the shipping in the Mirage Memory Au just cause I like thinking about them. Because with the fake memories going on, they don't remember each other so things are a little off between them.
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So yeah, Zane and Kai have this sort of "soul mates" thing going on meanwhile Cole and Jay despise each other, so that's fun for them :3
Also as a side note, I thinks it's just safe to say that all of my aus have Bruise and/or Oppo unless stated otherwise. I can't help it, I'm obsessed with these ships lol.
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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months
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Tradition vs Modernity vs Comradery
+ context & lore:
In the first drawing, Fernando is wearing a capote de paseo, which is what bullfighters wear before the match begins, as seen below:
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In the second, Seb is shouting the very familiar "Olé" which is shouted by the crowd to praise the matador. He's a little brat, so of course he's yelling it for himself, but he did get many 💐
The third(which was a random sketch I had that I didn't think I'd finish tonight, so ignore if its messy) has very important context to me. Before going to the final act and killing the bull, matadors dedicate their montera(hat)(and symbolically: their kill) to a a specific person in the audience(or just the public as a whole.) Seb and Fernando are finally in the same color! Seb is bowing!!! And Fernando is honoring Seb!!!! Also ignore that I drew Seb's post-retirement hair. Though, maybe this drawing is supposed to represent Fernando making a dedication to his now-gone rival 😔(Seb: stop telling people im dead!)
Now, some more lore :D
So I talked about this in my last matador post but I'll expand more. I think it's very funny to characterize Fernando in this au as this fun-hating traditionalist. Because you have to understand; he's only this way when it comes to Seb. Because you absolutely KNOW he was doing silly, unserious shit back when he was younger. But absolutely god forbid Seb do anything silly.
It's very ironic because there literally is a part in the third act of a bull fight where it's basically encouraged to be a bit silly. This is a tad morbid, but basically right before they deliver the killing blow, some show their mastery over the bull by doing some superfluous action(ex. kissing the bull, kneeling in front of the bull.) There's some guy who literally would lean on the bull and mime taking a call. But anyways, Seb would def do this. I've not been able to draw it exactly how I want, but he would bend down and do his little bull horn symbol and mime charging at the bull. (Fernando, trying to make up reasons to hate Seb: oh my god, look at this blatant disrespect, look how he is disrespecting the bull, I cannot believe how rude this boy is!)
Also there's something to be said about how the matador shows mastery over the bull by kissing it or bowing to it...and Seb is technically the bull in this au and Fernando is the matador. There's just this unfortunate level of weird power inbalance that still lingers even though their rivalry is over and can't be affected anymore. There was no succinct answer about who truly was better because Seb was forced out of it. So there's always gonna be this level of "is he just pitying me? Is he just mocking me? Is he just patronizing me?" on Seb's part whenever Fernando praises him or makes dedications to him. And Fernando's always going to be haunted by the fact that there's no answer to who is truly better because he'll never know if Seb had reached his full potential or not. Anyways, they also have nasty sex while wearing their costumes and do weird bull/matador roleplay :)
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krashlite · 1 month
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Quick lil exercise because I am still not over Calivar and Orimar's backstory
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screwpinecaprice · 1 month
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I really don't have time to be bummed out right now so I made them a little sad instead.
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dollypopup · 12 days
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y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!
like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.
and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye
you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .
when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?
if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self
and that's that on that
#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion#tagging it#polin#sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired#of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag#and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc#you can't change my mind#if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin'#levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!!#yeah definitely try out the marriage market#realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market#try to get over him w/ whomstever#but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!!#because otherwise i am not here#i am asleep#and i am courting colin in your place pen#i'm coming for your man#anti debling#if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead#it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity#and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves#and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest)#he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto#so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more#and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love#which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do#anyways y'all ain't slick#and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else'#maybe you. . .don't ship the couple??#like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??
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