#this is still adorable

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[radishearts]

The sun and the sea ☀️🌊

Anyone else wanna join me in thinking about the fact that they pulled opposite motifs ?!?? The horrors of the deep sea in contemporary/modernish time and the joy and brightness of a punk future with the power of the sun. This is so crazy to me. How do they do it !?

Anyways one reblog 1 Stamp for Gem (and pearl can avoid some uh. Well you know, fraud charges)

#art #fanart #chaos #hermitcraft #pearlescentmoon #geminitay #pearlescentmoon fanart #geminitay fanart #hermitcraft season 10 #hermitcraft season ten fanart #hermitcraft fanart #hermitcraft gem #hermitcraft pearl #shiny duo #hermitblr #anyways you have no idea how much I ADORE drawing these guys #im still getting the hand of some designs #but the people voted overalls and who am I to deny them

[yudol-skorbi]

i am at the point where if i dont finish now i'll newer finish so yeah the rest of the gaaaaaang

#critical role #the mighty nein #fanart #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #fjord stone #caduceus clay #the male passing fellas #this was harder then i fuckin thought #i hope someone will make taliesin personally apologize to every animator who will work on molly #caleb my love i adore your palette you look like dirt and smell of cat piss💜 #i FINALLY FUUUCKIN FIGURED OUT FJORD O YEA #i was struggling with him for ages #mr duce zero complains absolute ideal of a character #tho i am still not entirely pleased with colors #but fuck it #if i keep going like this i'll just never post anything ever

[mmmairon]

2h practice featuring Shadowheart

#erm the grip this game has on me #for fucks sakes #idk if it’s surprising to anyone but halsin has my entire heart #but this is a shadowheart post #i love her voice #i adore her #god’s favourite princess #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #shadowheart #channeled some of my teen angst into her #21 still counts as a teenager believe me #my art

[elexuscal]

obsessed with how in Danny Phantom

when the network (i presume) went to the show's writing staff and said, "love the show, but the kid's a superhero, give him a logo, we need a logo"

they clearly thought. but uhhh chief his super hero costume is the outfit he died in. we can't change it.

but they *had* to change it.

and instead of any half-dozen solutions i can think of off the top of my head (e.g. season 2 power up, take advantage of his already canonical light shapeshifting powers)

they went "okay so a ghost genie re-writes reality so he never met Sam and therefore neve rdied so Sam convinces him to die all over again but not before slapping her own home-made logo on his chest"

ridiculous. awful. love it.

#seriously i adored that ep as a kid #even though i still at the time though this was weirdly convoluted #danny phantom

[littlerosette]

obsessed, quite frankly, with how katniss resents love, resents how deeply she loves. she was completely traumatized by her mom’s emotional withdrawal after the death of her father, and made the decision pretty much thereafter to never love someone else that way. and the fact that she goes through the trilogy absolutely refusing to call what she feels for peeta love, even when it absolutely, 1000% is, because she refuses to acknowledge that vulnerability within herself… oh it’s so good. it’s so good. the fact that recognizing love within herself is equivalent to shoving a knife in her eye is so good. i love this character

#i’m probably still spiraling over the love comparative quote thing i reblogged yesterday #but wow #i adore when love is an uphill battle when it’s a violent thing #the hunger games #katniss #everlark

[canisalbus]

Real fan art is coming one day, but for now I really wanted to see if it was feasible to simplify their gradients into something that would fit a simple style like Bluey’s 😅

.

#aaaaaaaaaAAA #they're so precious I can't ;m; #I still haven't watched Bluey so I can't really comment on show accuracy but to me these look spot on #if you ask me the gradients work really well #if you look at them and unfocus your eyes they look like their normal markings #Vasco might benefit from having one more band between the base yellow and the lighter brown but that's totally optional and might take away #from the simplicity of his design #their colors are so true to the way I color them which is both cool and kind of uncanny #like Machete's pink details which in reality are very peachy almost closer to light orange than true pink #and their colored linearts which use the same colors I use for my colored linearts #I don't know I thought that was really cool attention to detail #they're adorable #thank you! #gift art #apupcalyptic #own characters #Machete #Vasco #their lives would be a lot less stressful in bluey universe I reckon

[bluerosefox]

Bittersweet and Sweetheart Exes

12 am brain rot

Can...

Can I get an AU where Talia, Danny and Bruce dated each other and later break up? Maybe have them meet when Bruce is in Batman training years and its a whirlwind romance between the three. Like we know how Bruce and Talia are together as exes (both a little toxic to each other, a love hate kinda thing and yet still have something) BUT Danny is the ex they always are sweet for, like he is the one they love flirting with when they see him (Talia more so regardless where and when, Bruce can only openly flirt as Bruce/Brucie, he has to be sneaky when Batman)

I want Talia and Bruce both trying to one up each other for Danny's attention. They know he's Phantom btw, and his human side as well. They however don't know he's also the Ghost King (in training at the time) Danny keeps forgetting to mention it.

Oh, oh. Let's have the Batfam find out due to a cult summoning, like someone in the League is trying to usurp Talia's rule (I want LOA leader Talia) and Damian is taken by them (which means Talia, Bruce, and the Batfam are coming to save him) and they try summoning the Ghost King to try to offer Damian as a sacrifice for power in order to take over the League.

Both Bruce and Talia weren't expecting to see their ex appear in a swirl of stars, aurora lights, and galaxies with a crown to match, a cape that looked like it had a cosmos swirling, and a Kingly outfit though.

(Or if we wanna make it extra funny, why not have them both had dated Danny at different times, and didn't know they are all exes to each other until Danny goes "DANNY!" "Talia? Bruce? What are you both doing here?" "Wait you know him/her? How?" "....Yes? And well...I dated them...")

#danny phantom dc #danny phantom #danny fenton #crossover #dp x dc #blue rambles #writing ideas #random idea #dpxdc #Bruce Danny and Talia dated #then broke up #Talia and Bruce are kind of bitter exes #but Danny is the ex they still adore #hes the sweetheart of their group #ghost king danny #he kept forgetting to mentioning that to them btw #Danny loved his time with Talia and Bruce #the Batfam will not be ready for this #wth do you mean you dated THE FREAKING GHOST KING #imagine their reactions #just imagine it

[zombie-bait]

I can’t believe Gideon and Harrow had like 3 weeks of something approximating fun before experiencing 2 solid years of endless suffering 😭 lemme tell you, nothing could’ve prepared me for that or the realization that post book 1 these poor fuckers just never get to spend any time together, I miss the old days of One Flesh One End Bitch!!!!! We had it so good and we didn’t even know it

#Tlt #tlt spoilers #gideon the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon nav #griddlehark #like give them a BREAK pls #Still not done Nona but I’m so close #I love these novels in case it wasnt clear #But oh man their story #Just tragedy after tragedy #the locked tomb spoilers #the locked tomb #Harrow finally realized how much Gideon meant to her and then immediately lost her #Very :(( #Harrow the ninth #I adore book two #Like man is it sad as fuck #But it makes me want for them to be happy even more #They deserve the universe

[egophiliac]

happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!

thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!

I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)

I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!

also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...

...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me #but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual #he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly #supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type #because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that #it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead #and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF. #(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway) #i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry! #unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever #(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress) #i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much. #my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks #i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair #(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)

[danicloth]

It’s cold 🩷🩵…

My delulu is slowly coming back =w=✨

#I've been watching a lot of shojo (more than usual xD) #And can't help but do something about it >w> #Also ​I still think the size difference in their hands is sooooo adorable 🥹 #mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #msa #mystery skulls animated lewis #mystery skulls animated vivi #mystery skulls lewis #mystery skulls vivi #msa lewis #msa vivi #fanart #mystery skulls animated lewvi #mystery skulls lewvi #msa Lewvi #Lewvi #lewis pepper #vivi yukino #mystery skulls animated fanart #drawing #illustration #digital drawing #digital illustration #art #artists on tumblr #my art style #digital fanart #Lewvi fanart #doodle

[sunnyirry]

drew collie in that one artstyle cus i can :3

#the owl house #the collector #the collector toh #still no idea what's with the sudden hate of this style it's adorable SCREW YALL!!! #also first time drawing shadow collie he's so silly

[ravennazane]

I wonder if Wednesday notices that Enid looks at her like the way that Gomez looks at Morticia, like

#wednesday #wenclair #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #wednesday x enid #the addams family #gomez and morticia #jenna ortega #emma myers #they were so freaking adorable #i know there's prob 0 chance of wenclair in s2 but they're still cute #they did hint at wednesday being bi tho so maybe? #myedits #ravennazane

[excusemeaminute]

Revenant Hill (𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘎𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘚𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺)

The year is 1919. After the barn he was living in burns down, Twigs the cat takes up residence in a wet log near an abandoned graveyard. When the owl from the next hill over starts demanding rent, Twigs must find a way to make ends meet, and things just get more complicated from there.

#revenant hill #scott benson #bethany hockenberry #ramblings #ps showcase #playstation showcase #the glory society #finji #i am so obsessed already #get in my mouth #mine #edit 13/11/23 i am strongly in denial rn. even though these images and the trailer is all the game will ever really be i still adore it #rip the glory society and big love to everyone on the team #playing now

[hughmanbean]

Space Lady

When Bruce gets lost in time he sees a common sight between each jump.

A woman in a dress of nebulae, stars studded around her neck, hair a soft silver.

He asks who she is, and she does nothing.

He asks who she is, and she smiles mischievously.

He asks what she's doing. "Watching" is all he gets.

He asks what the purpose of this is, and she looks at him like he's stupid.

He tries to move around, but seems to loop back around. She looks amused at his attempts.

After Vanishing Point, during his last jump, he asks her if she knew what was going to happen.

"Aren't you the world's greatest detective? I'm sure if you put your mind to it, you'll figure it out. Now off you go."

---

It's been 2 years since Damian had been dropped into the family. Even after, Bruce felt like he was being watched sometimes.

He gets a visitor at the door, and standing there is the Lady.

"How have you been, Bruce? Doing well I hope. Be a dear and let me in, would you?"

#dp x dc #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp #Danny is Space. #He is using a form that DC universe can handle which apparently is Big Space Lady #Clockwork told him to Keep Watch during Bruce's time shenanigans just in case. #Danny is Cackling watching Bruce fumble through time #He continued to watch DC after that #Got a little attached. Just a little. #They're his little guys! So adorable! So tiny! #He likes acting Like This with Bruce to mess with him #He's still a gremlin at heart no matter how elegant or refined he looks #They're all his little blorbos #bruce wayne

[atmilliways]

What if a fic where Eddie finds Steve so pretty and cute and at times downright adorable that he keeps wanting to bite him, but he can't because they're friends. Eddie isn't even out to Steve, doesn't want to risk it. So instead of biting, he ends up grinding his teeth a lot.

He starts getting a lot of really bad tension headaches, which brings Steve even closer into his orbit because Steve is very sympathetic (and secretly, selfishly, kind of likes having a headache buddy, because it sucks but at least they're not, like, alone). Which means Eddie grinds his teeth more and ends up with more frequent headaches.

But trying to avoid Steve results in Steve showing up outside his door with over the counter painkillers, tea, Gatorade, Pedialyte, hot and cold compresses, high quality sleep masks for cutting out light while he rests, essential oils, anything he knows that works for him when he gets a migraine. He offers scalp massages and times his compress use and refills his cup of whatever he's hydrating with and even guides Eddie to the bathroom when he doesn't want to crack an eye open to navigate the hallway.

I don't know how it ends, but at one point Steve asks Robin if migraines are contagious. She wants to grab him and shake him a little bit because what no, but he just looks so earnest and concerned and maybe a little guilty, it'd be like kicking a puppy.

#what if a fic #jean rambles #steddie #pre-steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #robin buckley #this dude makes me want to bite something too but in a platonic and very lesbian way #i haven't had this problem since my brother was little and still adorable