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gwydionmisha · 2 years

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Strange New Worlds

I am still digesting Strange New Worlds: All Those Who Wander

Here there be Spoilers:

I am still so angry about the ableism and the teasing us with what looked like could have been a really interesting character and rare representation if they had wanted to explore it, then yoinking it right the fuck away, that I'm struggling to work out what to say, but I'm going to try.

The thing is, I actually was liking it up until that point despite the issues and some choices I was not best pleased by. I rather liked them making Pike the man Kirk ended up spending his entire adult life trying to be and not pulling it off. I was cool with them showing how Uhura started to become Uhura, because it meant that character getting a real arc, and they definitely are showing the canonical character's strengths, even if the drifted into Starfleet thing was not a choice to my taste. This is a thing early 20somethings can struggle with. Just because I'm not the intended audience (I hardly ever am outside of things like Torrchwood, Black Sails, and Our flag Means Death) doesn't mean a thing is bad, if that makes sense. I really like the Nurse Chapel upgrade, even though I have concerns about what they might do with her Spock wise. (I'd rather see her with Erica Ortegas). They gave me men in my age range to look at who are worth looking at. I liked the pretty doctor, but I am really hoping there is more to him in season two. I really, really liked Erica Ortegas, even though I feel like the writers didn't bother to develop her properly, trusting Melissa Navia's charm and swagger to paper over them not bothering to give her an arc. I rather liked them giving the original series network execs the finger by bringing Una back. I have hopes that La'an's arc will do more with recovering from/learning to live with trauma, since they laid some ground work there.

I don't want to get into the whole Spock T'Pring issue or the Spock issue in general because that's a whole other massive and complex ball of string and I wanted to be asleep an hour ago. Just... take as read my thoughts are complex here and I'm still digesting, okay? (Update: two and a half hours ago as of this going up on Tumblr Sunday morning.)

And then there was Hemmer, who was my favorite, once they started to give the actor things to do, because the actor was really fun to watch and it's hard to emote that well through that much make up. (Yes, I know the actor knew when they hired him. This isn't about that). Seriously, they had all the ingredients to do all sorts of interesting things with him. They could explore his culture. They could explore his back story. They could expand on the nubbins of a character they had only started to hint at that i had every faith that the actor could have pulled off. There was so much potential for this to be a break out character and... They decided to fridge a rare character with a disability played by an actor with a disability on the first day of Disability Pride Month because... Why? Shock value? Because they realized killing off the barely characterized fat character by himself wouldn't pack a punch and we know a bunch of the characters need to survive for ToS? (Were there any other fat characters with names on the ship? it's possible I missed one, but the fact that I can't think of one is telling. Fatphobia is an exhausting problem in media too). Because they need to make the Xenomorphesque Gorn the new Borg so instead of killing some red shirts, they decided to kill the OC off with the most potential who also happens to mean a lot to an under-represented group of viewer Paramount doesn't care about to make the stakes feel real?

I don't know, but I'm so angry about it, I'm not sure even Ortegas and Chapel can keep me watching, or my curiosity as to how certain other threads develop. (Not a sentence it would have occurred to me at any age I would be writing about nurse Chapel until this show premiered). I have a year to think about it, but I don't trust them any more at it will take a lot to win me back to this show.

Which brings me to my other main point: a lot of the problems not counting the finale are because they had so much stuff that needed to be in the first season and not enough time. We know fuck all about Ortegas and hemmer's backgrounds and lives. They didn't get arcs of their own. Lots of characters had stuff seeded for future season(s) that would have had some essential breathing room if they'd had an traditional trek length season for wiggle room instead of the shortened prestige format.

Trek needs that room to breath in order to work a lot of the time. You have all these characters in a first season to meet. They need to establish a group dynamic. The audience needs enough exposure to each to get an idea of what's their deal, basically. (Ex: Pike's foreknowledge of his fate, Una being a secret Illyrian, La'an's Gorn trauma, etc.). Every episode needs a puzzle or an actiony thing or a mystery or whatever plot. Every episode needs to advance one or more character arc.

The heart of Trek has always been it's characters and relationships every bit as much as the world building and science fictiony social commentary bits. When Trek works well it balances these things. (I still think DS9 is far and away the best old Trek and the Kelvinverse movies are unwatchable. No, I won't be taking criticism on this, reasonable people can disagree and you won’t change my mind). You need Serious episodes and big plot episodes (if you are TNG era or later) and silly episodes and exploring a culture or concept episodes and gee whiz episodes and weird historical exploration episodes and RL social commentary reflection episodes and cool puzzle episodes and character arc episodes, etc.. You need to be doing 2-3 of these things in each individual episode and pretty much all of them in a season. It is pretty much impossible to jam all that into thirteen episodes when traditional Trek had approximately twice as many. Were some of the individual episodes not great? Absolutely. (I grew up on ToS in endless syndication and watched the animated series in real time when they were new. A lot of the oldest trek is not great. TNG is super uneven and the first two years... not great. I bailed out of Voyager a few years in. I only managed a few episodes of Enterprise. Even my beloved DS9 had duds here and there). The thing is though? The longer seasons gave them room to shake out the bugs, to experiment, to really explore cultures, and from the start of TNG on explore character and do long character development arcs, to build a real sense of who the crew are separately and together.

The season was too short to fully develop most of the characters. It was too short to do more than give some of them, like Una, more than one character issue for us to look at. Una is an Illyrian and second in command, but what else? Dr. M'Benga is the Doctor and had a sick daughter, but what else? Ortegas is butch and an excellent pilot, but what else? Hemmer is blind and the chief engineer, but what else? And yes, I basically know the TV shows and the movies (except the third kelvinverse one, halfish of Voyager, lower decks, and most of enterprise). I loved that novel Garak's actor wrote about Garak. I think we read some of the Diane Duane expanded trek tie books on tapes on care trips around the turn of the century? I know the stuff I know pretty well, because I've seen the bits I like often. I don't know the expanded universe outside the visual media much at all. I know fuck all about Aenar and I'd really, really like to, but oh well.

I just... idk. I was really enjoying it, but I don't trust them to fix the problems. Not anymore.

To be clear, I’ve noting against short formats in general, I just feel like this was better suited to a longer format schedule.

#Strange New Worlds

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about27th · 4 months

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review 2023

it's been ages since i dropped a post here; couldn't make time for entries ever since working multiple jobs!

2023 was filled with challenges, struggles, and tears; reflecting on it, the year was all about self-healing.

during the first half, couldnt escape the lingering depression, despite trying my best efforts to live life to the fullest; then come the second half, i inevitably had to face those demons head-on

the effects of the devastating event from last year haunted me for what felt like an eternity; fortunately, making the phone call did help and marked the start of my fifth stage of grief

learning to let go, live in the moment, and stop blaming myself hasn't been easy; still, i've tried to embrace the tough times, keep practising, and allow myself a good cry when things got overwhelming

navigating life, especially with some unpleasant inborn traits, isn't a walk in the park.. watching more and more friends tie the knot in recent years, I often wonder how everyone seems to effortlessly sail through life's milestones; why everything seems to fall into place, and all they have to do is kick back and enjoy?

despite past relationship setbacks and an uncertain future, my life goals remain clear: to have freedom—both in the tangible world and within my mind

i still dream to

be a fluent english speaker

build my own business

have cosmetics treatment as desired

travel annually

dance like a pro

become a housewife

learn korean and japanese

.. i hold onto those aspirations tight; slow and steady, with kindness to myself, is the game plan

nowwwwwww, a nod to this year's milestones

March

helped out a new friend with her booth at a commerce fair

landed a costume design project

April

joined the central library as a volunteer

helped manage a friend's social media hustle for three months

kicked off this Tumblr gig—capturing life and honing my English.

May

started my first part-time gig

travelled to Manchester, London and Brisbane

designed five wallpapers for showrooms

June

volunteered as a receptionist in Dudhope Castle for 3 months

August

started an Instagram page to share HK movie aesthetics

rekindled passion for dancing

September

showcased a poster at the BPS postgraduate conference

started another part-time job

October

started my third part-time role

November

graduated!

got a new freelance client

December

pitched graphic design service to a UK small business owner

take a moment to jot these down—it's a good reality check; it reminds me that i've done more than I often give myself credit for :)

continue onto the fun stuffffffffffff -- entertainment hits of the year:

Top Three Destinations

Brisbane, Australia

London, UK

Manchester, UK

Top Three Binge-worthy Shows

The End of the F***ing World

Shrinking

The Dropout

Tunes

didn't delve deep into the music pool, but Nishina's 2021 solo concert "Hatsu" was absolute fire.. made me want to head off to Japan, even though it wasn't high on my list

and a year-end surprise, Sia's "Everyday is Christmas"—straight to the feels

living in the UK has been the best thing that happened in my life so far; if there's one wish, it's to settle down here🤞

it's been a journey, but it's time to say goodbye to 2023; i look forward to a fantastic 2024

#uk life #good vibes #bye 2023 #hello 2024 #postgraduate #study in the uk #closure #self healing #gratitude #stay positive #be kind #achievements #new year wishes

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ewaudreyhorne · 2 years

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(this is a repost, due to a few messages i’ve had requesting this list be all in one post on tumblr and not split, so here you go - here’s a link to the wordpress and the original tumblr posts)

So, I’ve been thinking a while about Ted x Rebecca. Duh. However, to be specific, I’ve been thinking more about the likelihood that they’re endgame (is that a term we even use anymore? am I showing my age?). I’ve been in many fandoms, years of different ships have sailed by… I’ve done this game so many times - I’ve been properly burnt, many gays have been buried, many women have ‘ended up alone’ because they’re ‘strong and independent’ and romance and a healthy loving relationship would ‘ruin that’ (am willing to give the many examples if you want).

I wanted to be pragmatic – because when I watched this show, I binged season 1 and 2 and I didn’t jump into any fandom nonsense until after and when I was watching – it seemed so obvious that they were going down the route of Ted x Rebecca that… I was properly shocked to see there’s quite a divide in the fandom (a lovely toxic split). I just didn’t…expect it? So, yeah, I wanted to create a combination of information that looks at… I guess almost everything? (I am, because of the person I am, going to focus on the fact that the intention is there – because I genuinely believe it is – whether the follow-through will happen…)

Anyway, welcome to:

Will Ted and Rebecca be endgame? (the listicle from Hell)

0. proof

I can’t take credit for this at all but just as I was putting parts 1 and 2 together into a post, I came across this post and it basically does an amazing job of collecting interview quotes, images to back up the quotes, just some really good stuff to dig your teeth into - honestly, read that and you probably wouldn’t even want to read the list below.

1. duck and avoid

I have never met a bunch that will seemingly jump and hide behind a tree to avoid answering any tedbecca questions, but the writers (here’s looking at you jsuds et al.) are masters of the:

This could be disheartening but considering part 2 of this list… it’s very telling. It’s actually a safety thing, too, ‘cause they don’t have to promise the fans a. thing. If they avoid talking about it, hinting about it then they don’t have to follow through on anything. It protects the interest of the show – it’s not stupid… However, the second reason (my preferred, optimistic and what I hope is more likely) they won’t give anything away this way. The payoff will be so. much. better. If we’re getting moments like we’ve had already had in season 1 and 2, that is fine. It’ll work. So, there’s been no lingering touches, almost kisses, being (overtly) jealous over love interests, no friends exclaiming (yet) ‘oh my god, you like [Ted/Rebecca]’… what we’ve had is quite weighty topics and connections between the two. What I will say about the subtle parts of their relationship and why it works… chemistry, honey. These two have the chemistry to pull. it. off.

It’s interesting, because the argument I see mostly against them as a couple is usually… that they make good friends. Which is absolutely true. They make amazing friends. The best. And as we all know, no good friends can ever get together. In fact, it is very important that all romantic relationships are based on couples not really being friends at all.

youtube

There’s actually a really great meta post on here which I recommend everyone also read - that kinda sums up the vibe of Ted x Rebecca perfectly, too

[sidenote: I also want to mention, whilst we may not have had traditional will they/won’t they tropes - we’ve had massive gestures: most of the gala episode, the darts scene, helping with panic attacks (noticing them when nobody else does - twice), the biscuits, using the team to spell out ‘hi boss’ for absolutely no reason other than to make her smile, using tinsel to spell ‘hi ted’ for absolutely no reason other than to make him smile, singing at her father's funeral... ugh]

2. fake outs bastard fake outs

Okay, so, I know I mentioned above about like there’s been no ‘lingering touches’ or ‘almost kisses’ and any of the usual ‘oop’ tropes that typically we associate with will they/won’t they (cough het-)couples (I've mentioned some of the gestures they do do). This, the fake-outs… this is more of like a flip it and reverse it (shout out to Missy E) and more of a ‘wait, is it?’ Like I mentioned in the first point, this is like the part 2 to their not mentioning it in interviews etc. It’s another really smart way of holding their hands up and saying, ‘but we didn’t do anything’. It adds to the fact that later, once it’s canon, they can be like ‘did you enjoy these little hints and jokes and omg can you believe we made it like Rebecca was the one actually going to Ted’s room?!?!?’ but if they don’t make it canon – well, hot damn, it was Sassy at the door and Sam on the app and it’s not our fault we saw differently.

Look, the thing is… the bait and switch is sadly a thing (general queerbaiting for the last few decades, or the fact that I’ve not watched an episode of SVU in my life and even I want Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler to fuck and get married, jfc). Teasing the audiences is cute for the writers, it keeps them thirsty and well, come on, what’s more powerful than making people think/want something that “isn’t there”. Gaslight your audiences. Hot.

3. parallels, honey

The parallels and connections between the two is 100% in favour of tedbecca. PERIODTTTTT. It goes beyond ‘these two are both divorced’. We’re talking about two middle-aged people, their journeys are connected, and they meet at a pivotal point in both their lives - one has a rough marriage/divorce, the other has that sad soft divorce which is just as heart-breaking because:

They are soulmates. Sorry about it. Jason and Hannah have both mentioned it. I’m not trying to be cute or blurt out a huge ‘they’re made for each other’ statement. Their souls… are connected. On purpose. Their grief follows a similar path. On the exact same goddamn day, to the year, something happens to these two people 4 thousand miles apart that links them. An event that changed and shaped who they became, the choices they made from that point on (especially in regards to the relationships they have). The fact that this moment links them and they aren’t even aware of it – firstly, A* storytelling and secondly that’s all for us. There’s a chance that organically that conversation will never come up between them on screen – it took both Rebecca and Ted decades to talk about it after years of trauma – (these were two breakthrough moments: Ted coming to understand his trauma and Rebecca coming to realise that she has trauma, but heck… that’s a season 3 problem) – anyway, the fact that they may never (at least on screen) talk about this is even more important, because we (the audience) were shown this not just to further our understanding of the characters but mostly to give us another example as to why they're connected.

Ted signs his divorce papers on the same day that would’ve been Rebecca’s wedding anniversary. Ted and Rebecca have their first rebound sex post-divorce on the same night. Season 1 and 2 mirroring “truth”-scenes. Rebecca not being ‘enough’ for Rupert, Ted being ‘too much’ for Michelle. There are even parallels between their relationship and the relationship between Roy and Keeley (this tweet thread will explain it better than I can). We could even go into colour-matching clothes in scenes (or complementary colours) but… look… it’s there.

4. fan service

The year is 2019, the pandemic? Not even a thought in our innocent minds. There stood Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth, fucking (off camera, cowards) for half an episode and for what? Fuck all, that’s what. To give the fans something because at least they got something. I won’t get into it, not right now, it’s still raw - fan service, though. That’s what that was. Not that I’m saying it didn’t make sense for them to get together - but doing it for the impact of him leaving?

Look, it’s lazy storytelling. Supernatural fans know it. Game of Thrones fans know it (from fan service to... fan disservice, am I right?) So, what has this got to with Ted and Rebecca? I’ll be delving into a certain hard topic further on but... fan service could definitely be something that comes into play with these two.

There’s three that could happen and they all revolve around Ted leaving (ew, I know, we’ll talk about it later). We get the ‘declaration’ - ‘I love you’ before Ted gets on the plane. The kiss - probably just before he leaves (or near enough) or the worst one... the ‘you could come with me’ speech. The ‘throw caution to the wind but I actually know that’s not what you can do because you’ve created something wonderful here and I can’t actually expect you to give it up for me howeverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’ speech. The opposite of this is the ‘you could stay’ conversation, which is always heart breaking, for the exact same reason. Unfortunately, one or all of these could play out. We could get a kiss in an earlier episode, a discussion later on when Ted doesn’t renew his contract and he ‘jokingly’ says ‘what if you came with me to Kansas?’ when she asks ‘what about... us?’ and then... the ‘I love you’ before he leaves, probably with a sweet little ‘I don’t know, Boss, maybe we’ll meet again’ and, I don’t know, bloody Vera Lynn plays in the background.

It’s... a possibility. All of these will feed wonderfully into many years of fanfiction from a broken hearted bunch of humans that just wanted to see a nice healthy relationship play out.

(Also, and it’s so goddamn stupid I know but I do believe the fact Roy/Keeley have this healthy relationship in the show could be used as an excuse to have a little heartbreak where Ted and Rebecca are concerned - like ‘look, we gave you one, what you thought everyone was getting a happy ending? LOL')

(Oh, also also - as this show has been linked to rom-coms and Nora Ephron time and time again - it could very well be that they do get together but all we get is the romantic ‘kiss’ at the end. The ‘I wanted it to be you’ moment - not the best but...)

5. no chemistry: they’re just friends

Okay, so I mentioned earlier about how people think they work better as friends. Ironically, these are the same people that also tend to claim that Jason/Hannah have no on screen chemistry. I guess I’m going to have to do an impromptu science lesson - that’s no how it works, gang. When people do a chemistry test together it’s not a bloody casting couch situation - they don’t just walk into a room and fuck. It’s all about whether or not the chemistry is there to pull off authentic scenes. This goes from anger, friendship, love, hate... so, uh, you actually cannot claim that they have no chemistry and say that they work better as friends. You can’t.

I see a lot of comparisons to Ron/Leslie (parks and rec) and Jack/Liz (30 rock). I know this is going to be painful to hear, guys but they also... had chemistry (and by chemistry I do mean, enough that the question of them getting together was something the writers/actors of both shows were asked if it was going to go that way). Now, I get it... Amy and Tina are both SNL alumni, it may be safe to argue that Jason wanted to create a show that had a similar sorta set-up, right? Yeah, sure, fine... A big difference is how the shows approach talking about these couples, the fact that the writers tend to avoid talking about Ted and Rebecca whereas in 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation any notion of romance between Ron/Leslie and Jack/Liz were. shot. down. and that in itself (see the first point) is very telling.

SEXISM. That got your attention? I wasn’t sure where to put this so I added it on. I’m just going further from an earlier point...

So, sexism is actually an issue I think people have with tedbecca - not the sexism between them... but the type of man Ted is vs. the type of woman Rebecca is. I’ve seen comments about Rebecca being too much of a woman for Ted, one comment mentioned her being too ‘spicy’ for Ted. Now, I don’t know about you, but there’s something about Ted that screams that he has never had an issue with how much of a woman any woman is (or how much of anyone... anyone is). He’s very in touch with his masculinity, femininity and his own ignorance (always willing to learn) - this is where the sexism comes in... people want either someone unthreatening to Rebecca (i.e. someone that’s not a main character, maybe a bit boring) or someone who will dominate Rebecca (i.e. someone... like... oh, idk, her ex husband). I’m going to talk about Ted’s relationship with Sassy later (and I’ll talk about the character later, too) ‘cause I know people will be like ‘but she’s a whole lotta woman and I want Ted and her to get together xoxo’.

In this sense, the sexism works as a tool to make Ted not “man” enough for someone like Rebecca and Rebecca “too” much woman for someone like Ted (do not get me wrong, we’re not saying Ted isn’t a strong male character here, but he’s just not the right type of strong male character). Funny, in this case (unlike with their on-screen exes) Rebecca is too much and Ted is not enough...

6. season 2

Season 2 as whole is very… it needs to be looked at. Ted and Rebecca don’t have as many moments together (at least arguably not alone). This could also be disheartening. After all, we’re watching a show so, we do need to be shown things (most of the time). However, like life, a good show can happen off camera. I’m going to focus for a moment on Nate’s storyline. Nick Mohammed posted an amazing tweet, where he goes through all the important (and intentional) decisions that were put in place for his character’s storyline. (in fact, that tweet alone should be enough to remind you that nothing is left to chance with the writers). There is one part of the tweet that stood out:

The divide and separation between Nate and Ted is very well thought out. It’s a part of his ‘demise’. Arguably, the same can be said for Rebecca and Ted. They both have different journeys that they go on through season 2 and, unfortunately, that keeps them on different paths. However, like I mentioned in point 3 – the show works to keep them connected, too. It’s intentional. Hannah Waddingham mentions it in an interview that she is aware that Ted and Rebecca didn’t have much screen time in season 2 – there is a big difference between how Rebecca and Nate perceive the distance with Ted, though. Nate feels betrayal but Rebecca se… wait, I’ll get there. Anyway, when Ted has his panic attack, Rebecca notices. Not only does she notice but her first thought is that she must get to him.

She leaves Ted a voicemail. Also, oh my God, okay, so I’m backtracking a little again, ‘cause as will they/won’t they go – missed/ignored voicemails is a good one (any fans of the newsroom in the house? you know what I’m talking about). Anyway, in the voicemail to Ted she both offers her concern and help and even asks for his aid in return. It’s safe to say, because as this whole point is about, this show is amazing at show don’t tell – that he didn’t respond to that message. In the next episode, we get this little exchange between the two. You know the one. The boot room moment. I’ll go through it, anyway. She enters the boot room, spots Keeley smoking, and joins her - Ted, off to the side, looks at her from the moment she enters, until she walks past him without sparing him a glance (ha haha ha, ouch, I’ll gif it below). Anyway, in that scene you can see how she keeps her eyes trained on Keeley, even as she sits, she’s in a position where her back is turned towards Ted (heck, even when she explains that the boot room is where they go to smoke, she’s directing what she’s saying to Higgins – a man who’s there with a smoking pipe… so already well aware of that – she only looks at Ted when he makes that ‘oh, really?’ disapproving Dad ‘hmm’ sound to that, and the cherry on top, he’s actually looking at Keeley not her in that moment).

It's one of those moments where you could easily miss it – because Rebecca’s not there being mean or cruel as she ignores Ted. Rebecca is absolutely in her right to be a little hurt by Ted’s avoidance – just like Ted was in his right not to… respond. He’s unwrapping a lot, it’s not something he’s able to work out yet it’s hardly something he can throw towards another person (he’s literally just starting therapy). Rebecca is protecting herself here (and because she understands Ted – she’s also not going to actively guilt him - plus in the conversation she makes a point to tell Keeley that she should open up and tell Roy about her issues with him and Ted actively argues against that - that it’s better to bottle things up, which she gives a knowing smile about... like I said, she understands Ted). You could even argue, that when Keeley leaves the room with Roy – as she’s left behind with Ted (and the others), there could be a moment before she or Ted leaves when she casually asks him if he’s okay (that’s very… Rebecca). Like Hannah said in the interview linked above “is [ted and Rebecca] have scenes where you don’t necessarily see them together, but you do see- the audience sees them together.”

Rebecca won’t hold it against him. That’s what I mean when I say the difference between Nate and Rebecca – she actively tried to help Ted and was, in fact, rejected – Nate didn’t even notice he was going through something (because Nate himself was going through a lot of internal dialogue where he was filling the gaps with negative shit because of his own damage – he was being left behind by Ted and because of his own relationship with his father, his (likely years) of bullying from football players that disrespected him… look, we’ll take a day to decode that speech he gives Ted in the last episode another day). Basically, Rebecca understands Ted. She gets him (soulmates, remember?). He’s so goddamn late to her father’s funeral, he walks in during her eulogy – just his presence is enough to get her started. Then he helps her get through it, too, ‘cause as Hannah says: ‘’It has to be Ted. It has to be Ted, even if he hasn't been there for the rest of the day, even if they haven't seen each other much on screen together at that point. It has to be Ted that picks her up and runs with it.” – and she takes the time afterwards to check in with him afterwards. Her Dad is dead, and she knows something isn’t right with him. She sees him.

I’ve got a section devoted to Sam later, but for now – it’s important that she goes to Ted when she admits she’s a little compromised when it comes to Sam’s future. Firstly, it’s holding herself accountable to what could be considered a mistake. As we also learned from Ted in this season – he won’t get involved in telling a friend when they’re in a relationship that is bad for them – so he just agrees with everything that she says about her relationship with Sam and when she asks for his advice, he’s earnest – because he sees her, too – and knows she’ll make the right choice… but it is her choice, in the end (and what is Ted if not someone who respects a woman’s right to choose - unlike certain men who like to make the choices for them).

7. the henry of it all: hello kansas

The elephant in the room. The enormous, adorable little, tiny elephant. Henry bloody Lasso. I’m not going to beat around the bush here. You want to know the biggest block in any Ted Lasso (person not show) ship? It’s that guy. He’s your problem. Well, more…where he is.

I’m going to take you on a brief (relevant and somewhat self-indulgent) interlude for a moment. Ashes to Ashes, sequel to Life on Mars, aired over a decade ago. Main character, Alex Drake (played by the wonderful Keeley Hawes), had a daughter, Molly. I’m not going to explain the plot of the show (or LoM) to you, but she ends up in the 1980s as a police officer and she has the goal to return home in the 2000s… to her daughter. This is where the Henry/Molly similarities lie. Both Henry and Molly represent, for the parents, an unavoidable fact: someone they love is in another place and they must return to them. For this reason, Alex Drake, despite the disgusting chemistry, fights any notion of romance with Gene Hunt because of that. She cannot, of course, allow herself to be emotionally compromised by doing something like… falling in love. [sidenote: This case is quite an extreme one, because basically… for her to stay in the 1980s… she’d have to be dead in the 2000s, leaving her daughter basically an orphan (deadbeat dad alert, heyyyyy) and wanting that for her, just so she could bang Gene Hunt was selfish (lol, we all wanted it, anyway). The reason it’s an extreme case – spoiler alert if you want to want and you haven’t – is she ended up dead anyway, not getting to be with her daughter, but also forced to ‘move on’ and not end up with Gene, either. I didn’t have to mention that, but it makes me angry over a decade later I just wanted to] The important part there was… Molly. She was a problem.

Molly, meet Henry. Of course, romance aside, Henry exists, like I said, to remind us that (along with all Ted’s other quirks, God bless him) that he is not from here. An important part of Ted is over 4k miles away. Ted’s kinda later in life bildungsroman journey – is all about coming to terms with his father and abandonment (even his platonic and romantic relationships and how he is with them, as mentioned in another point, is all down to his relationship with his dad’s life, death and everything that came afterwards). A very important scene happens in episode 6 of season 2. No, not the panic attack (although that is a very important scene) – no but it is a scene that links directly to his panic attack. It’s all about Henry and lunch.

It sucks but, in this moment, Ted is an absent father. Not emotionally, don’t get me wrong, but he is someone who cannot fulfil his role as father to his son (right then). Like his father couldn’t. There’s a lot of layers here because, for one, Ted is a very loving and devoted father. He loves his son, every choice he made coming to England was for his family… full circle would be going back to Kansas to his family (I’m talking just Henry here, do not even get me started on Michelle/Ted getting back together – but I will, and it’s in another point below). Ted’s journey, the three act play aspect of the show (which could still be the case or maybe not ??? will anyone ever give as a straight answer ??), it feels like if we look at it optimistically – everyone will come out of it a better version of themselves from having known Ted (and similarly, he’ll be a better version of himself having known them)… so he’ll go back to Kansas and yeah…

Okay, so there’s the argument that Ted will realise that he doesn’t have to be present to be… present. He is a good father. Henry isn’t suffering at all from the distance (except missing his Dad) and when he’s older, he can travel between the two – because what’s cooler than your Dad being absolutely loaded and living in London when you’re in school? I could talk about it more, but this one is firmly, I’d say, leaning more towards endgame for Ted is barbeque sauce and building Legos with his son.

However, that doesn’t mean in regards to Rebecca and Ted’s potential relationship there isn’t another option. Rebecca is... disgustingly rich. She comes from money, married money - got at least a premier league football club from that marriage (and probably the money she brought in)... like this woman has a yacht, private jet and a personal driver for her Rolls-Royce (but when she’s feeling a little down to earth, she’ll jump in her range rover and river herself around). She is LOADED. It is safe to say that, she could afford to take a step back from her active role as owner of the football club and move? I mean, considering Higgins knows the ins and outs and take from example Rob McElhenney and Ryan Reynolds owning Wrexham AFC (and both living and working in America)... it's not beyond the realm of possibility that she shifts gears. Not completely giving the club up of course (lest it feed into the 'picking a guy over your career' narrative - talking about you, Rachel Green).

8. sassy, sam and everyone between

They’re not important. Bye. The end.

8.1 sassy smurf xoxo

No, okay. Sassy. I’m not going to get into (much) of a character dissection. I think, I believe she is one of the weakest characters in the show. Not a thing I like to say about characters in Ted Lasso ‘cause the show is amazing with even the smallest characters. But Sassy? She’s like a rebellious Mary Sue. A ‘Mary Sue’ (just saying in case ppl don’t know) is basically a fictional character that is so perfect, she’s boring. So, by rebellious Mary Sue – what I mean is like, she’s got no layers, but we’re meant to be like ‘wow, look how fucking badass she is’. So yeah, by gosh, isn’t she fun? Isn’t she basically meant to show us what Rebecca could’ve been like? She’s an independent, supposedly amazing child psychologist that swears like a sailor but is also extremely pretty and confident and sexual and bold and... snooze (see what I mean, Mary Sue). In arguably one of my least favourite moments, she lets Keeley (and the audience) know that the ‘real Rebecca’ isn’t what we’ve all grown to know. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s fine to imply someone who you’ve not seen in 6 years has changed (time, life and abusive relationships will do that) but the implication here is that she’s less. Fake. That doesn’t sit right with me. For an incredibly smart woman, seems to be a… well a bit of a shit friend…

Just in reference to Rebecca’s father’s funeral – Sassy is the only one that knew about what happened with Rebecca and her father and she’s about as supportive as a broken bra. That’s why she’s not important, imo. She’s not there for Rebecca. She’s there for Ted. 2/3 episodes she is in, is for Ted. She may be ‘Rebecca’s friend’. Someone who, technically, is the same ‘level’ as Rebecca but ‘undamaged’. Also divorced (just like Ted and Rebecca), also has a kid (unlike Rebecca but very much like Ted) and super interesting - she will willingly go and fuck a basic stranger with 0 invitation for… like… look, if we investigate it too much, it’s actually creepy (I still, to this day, cannot work out how she got Ted, the character we know, to fuck her – not because he’s not a sexual being, but imagining that conversation? It’s impossible).

Anywaaaaay, in a similar argument, the fuck happened at the funeral? She’s basically feral trying to get to Ted and it’s all about the sex (which, right, good on you jsuds, make you everyone knows your character has a big dick and knows how to use it – I appreciate it). Where does Nora go when she goes off with Ted? I know the assumption is that she goes and has a quick romp (what, in his flat? where it was in such a state? because he is – again – mentally very fragile?) – but I like the theory that they chatted… maybe she actually does have a degree in psychology (specialising in children but still) and puts it to some actual goddamn use? Maybe she spotted something in that moment where Ted helped Rebecca in her father’s funeral and asked him to look out for her? Maybe there is more to this character than… nothing…

Also, ew, look, finding someone attractive because you like damaged things is in no way a ringing endorsement for a long-term relationship. Bye.

[sidenote: Nora ‘No Last Name’ - when I say Sassy is here for Ted, I mean it... her character even lacks a motherly attitude (gives off more ‘cool aunt’ vibes), Rebecca has that episode with Nora - where they re-bond after the time apart - and we get to see her in the role of motherly figure... but Sassy...??? it’s because, like I said, no layers... she can’t be too ‘motherly’ because then she’s not that cool, badass, confident, sexual being that forgives her friend after six years of silence because she’s just so good (i hope you realise that’s the implication there - rebecca: bad guy for cutting sassy out. sassy: good guy for coming to her rescue after she was divorced -- all knowledge, talk, discussion about the abuse she faced because of her husband is pushed aside, because... sassy is just... so cool, you know?)]

8.2 sweet sam

Look, I adore Sam. I love everything he stands for (very literally) and his enthusiasm and admiration for life. I really, truly think he is a wonderful character. I’m not going to get into him at all, really (okay, I will a little). He’s lovely, I wish him great storylines and lots more scenes in season 3. Just, uh… you know… maybe not screwing around with his boss.

Okay, first, Sam being outside Rebecca’s house at the end of episode 8? Before she texts him? If the situation was different, that could’ve been creepy… No shade, obviously, it’s played as romantic because it worked out perfectly but... when Rebecca said to Sam it could never happen again (after kissing him) and the way she says ‘I have to mean it’, she is pleading with him to respect her, respect her wishes because she doesn’t know if she can be strong enough to do so alone… him being there, waiting outside, not taking no for an answer... that doesn’t sound respectful... don’t get me wrong, her texting him is her flinging herself into a situation she knows she shouldn’t get into. It’s messy on both parts (and I mean... I assume intentionally).

Whilst we can call Sam a man, he is the very definition of a young man, his optimistic nature is both lovely and incredibly naïve. He’s got so much growing to do (although, I will say, I feel it’s slightly out of character for Sam to not respect Rebecca’s wishes, you know? but whatever). I don’t want to make this post exclusively about the age difference but… it is, sadly, incredibly important. Like, the power imbalance here? The actual life altering damage their relationship could do… And, unfortunately (unsurprisingly) it would fall more on Rebecca than Sam (sexism and a dash of ageism, baby). Rebecca’s life would be ruined… and for what? Sam is in the beginning of his career, if they went public/were found out... he could swap teams because people respect him for his talent in football... rebecca? she could lose everything... also, his goal is to end up back home playing football for his team – is Rebecca, who could be around 50 at that point going to be travelling back with him? Does she want to leave? What about marriage? Does she even want to get married again? Does he want to get married at all? Would he want kids?

Finding someone attractive. Being loved by someone like Sam, for someone like Rebecca, must be amazing. He is… wonderful. He finds her wonderful, too. She deserves that love but… okay, as romantic as ‘love at first sight’ or ‘true love’ or ‘hot chemistry’ can be… sometimes love all boils down to choices. Think Alexis and Ted (eyyy) in Schitts Creek, two people who make a choice – despite being in love, their relationship cannot continue, not if they are to continue to grow as people (also, fyi: that scene… ma’am, I am not strong). Rebecca and Sam should make a choice... and thankfully, where they left it off, they could just line under the situation right there... we’ll see...

8.3 everyone else

Now, there are some people that uh, think perhaps Ted and Michelle would get back together. I... cannot comment. I didn’t think that would even cross people’s minds. Uh, look, I get it. It’s like he had to come to the UK, become a better person to be... what? Become a lesser version of himself so his ex-wife would not find him unbearable and get back with him? Hmm. Sounds great.

Don’t get me wrong, doesn’t that nuclear family image sound like just the perfect little Kansas life Ted always imagined he’d have? Sure. He did have it, though - and it didn’t work out... I don’t think therapy is going to make Ted change the fundamentals of who he is, just makes him understand why he is that way. So, the Michelle of it all - eh. Maybe she’ll come over and be like ‘omg, I want to try again’ and he’ll entertain the thought before realising that he is not in love with her any longer. (...maybe he’s in love with someone else, oh I don’t know... Sassy... hahaha kidding - always Rebecca).

I also read some fucker saying Rebecca anD RUPERT SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER. Sir, that’s her abuser. No further discussion needed here.

We also have Dr Sharon and Ted. Okay. Right. Look. He was her patient - do not get me wrong, there’s many a true (and fictional) story where the lines have been blurred and patients have gone on to (usually when they’re no longer patients) get with their therapists, psychologists or whatever-ists. Completely legal and mildly morally grey. It’s about the power imbalance, like how I mentioned with Sam/Rebecca, Sharon has the most vulnerable knowledge of Ted’s past and also the tools in which to deal with that - it could be great, ‘hey, my gf was my psychologist and now she helps with my panic attacks’ but in reality... she will always have something over Ted. Not intentionally, but that power exists... it’s why even, sadly, them being friends is a tricky thing to navigate.

I’d be open to Trent and Ted, if that was on the table... I won’t lie to you... wanna know why? Chemistry, baby. They got it (not always intentional, see?)

Also, okay, I know someone’s going to be like ‘omg but Ted had sex with naughty Mary Sue, therefore Rebecca can’t be with him’ but like, guys, come on... there’s a whole scene in season 1 about not judging someone on their sexual histories...

Listen to Ted here:

Is that enough, do you think? I know this is incredibly bias and opinion based (I included references for a lot of it, though, okay... I’m bias but I’m also a fact checker). I tried for rational... eh, what can you do? Look... do I think the intention is there? Yes. Do I think there’s a very good chance it’ll happen? Yes. Do I also think it may not happen? Uh... I mentioned being bitten quite a few times, right? So, yeah... It genuinely may not happen... there’s a lot of factors here that could work against it, ugh... but it’s there. The most important thing is that. People who are shipping them aren’t pulling it out of their arses - if it seems like Ted and Rebecca getting together is ‘too obvious’ then I guess one day I’ll explain how storytelling works, too... anyway, if you got this far, god bless you

#ted lasso meta #ted lasso #tedbecca #ted x rebecca #rebecca welton #mine*#reposting this in one post all together because i've had a few messages about it #this is about 6k words btw #and will take about 20-40 minutes to read depending on your reading style #other than the new 0. point #this is all the same stuff in the other posts #my gifs #my edits #my meta #i guess #enjoy if you read

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writer-panda · 3 years

Text

Ruin and Rebirth - Chapter 1

Ruin and Rebirth

Chapter 2

Inspired by @jumpingjoy82 on Tumblr. Thank you for the amazing prologue.

I don’t own the characters, only the plot. Miraculous and Justice League belong to their respective creators

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"It's okay Marinette. Everything is going to be fine. You’re too young to understand, but it was for the greater good."

To young.

TO YOUNG!

It was all the Justice League's fault. If they kept their incompetent asses out of Paris, none of this would have happened.

Apparently, they just spontaneously decided to go through the Watchtower’s recycling bin, and what they found astonished them. Years upon years worth of pleas for help from Paris.

They decide to finally investigate, and it just so happens that it was during an Akuma Attack, and they threw everything the Parisian heroes were telling them out of the window, wanting to do things their own way.

Superman was one of the ones there.

And they learned just how far the Miracle Cure could go.

He decided to use his super strength and threw a car at the akumatized victim, who moved out of the way at the last minute, so the car sailed right through the Tom & Sabine Bakery, promptly, catching on fire, giving no time for the people inside to get out. No one got out alive.

Ladybug froze for a moment, before fighting with more determination than before, knowing that the Miracle Cure would bring them back.

She was wrong, which brings us back to this point.

"I don't give a damn about you so-called 'greater good' and now you’re telling me, that I'm too young to understand, but am I too young to experience it? Too young to actually see everything and everyone I love torn from me because of these heroes?! Why the hell are they here now? Where were they when this first started? What changed? And now, because of them, my entire family is dead!"

After that everything was hazy, but she knew, she hated superheroes.

They never knew when to stop, and just like Chat Noir, they expected to be praised for whatever happens, no matter if there were casualties or not.

The world would be better off without them.

----------------

The sun has long since set over Paris. The fires were still burning in some parts of town. For the first time since Ladybug first appeared, the citizens of Paris felt true fear. It was ironic. They didn’t fear the akuma. They feared the heroes that came to their rescue. For the first time in four years, the casualties were piling up. And the akuma was responsible for none.

True, many of them initially asked for it. With each fight, Ladybug and Chat Noir were taking longer. It’s been obvious for some time that they were slowly being worn out. Some media started to criticize the duo, question their skills, age, their right to act in Paris. They weren’t part of the UN Justice League Charter. Their only real authority came from the trust of the citizens themselves. And that trust was lost. The civilian pleas to the Justice League increased in number and frequency. Under public pressure, the mayor had no choice but to issue an official plea for help.

But then, then… the heroes came.

In retrospection, almost everyone would agree that it was a mistake. Justice League was not used to fighting magical threats. They weren’t practiced in dealing with possessed villains. They didn’t understand. And they treated Ladybug and Chat Noir worse than sidekicks.

That flying chicken even dared to wrap Chat Noir in a metal bar so he wouldn’t get in the way.

Ladybug… tried her best. She allowed herself to trust the new heroes. She stopped saving every civilian from the rubble. She focused on the akuma. If heroes didn’t bother with the lives, it must’ve meant they trusted her cure, right?

WRONG

They were like a tank, riding through the city with a singular goal in mind.

It didn’t help that they deemed the akuma a “world-level threat”. Yeah, right. Stormy Weather was powerful, but the damage could’ve been repaired.

Or so she thought.

The volcanos, the tsunami, the tornadoes, the earthquakes? Those were fixed. The rubble caused by them was put back in place and those who suffered under them were better than new.

But not the damage caused by the heroes.

Not the bakery.

There was no magic in what happened. There was nothing to reverse. Those were human actions. For the first time perhaps, the people could see how much of the damage caused by the fight was the fault of heroes. How many deaths they caused. That is if they admitted, before themselves at least, that it was their fault.

And yet, the so-called ‘heroes’ dared to lecture her about responsibility. About the sacrifice of few for the lives of many. About the innocence of young.

She ran away. She managed to dodge them and vanish. Meld with the crowd when there were no cameras in sight and she was sure they couldn’t track her.

Now, Ladybug stood alone on the top of the Eiffel tower, with her yo-yo communicator in her hand. She sent the message fifteen minutes ago. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but at this point, she no longer cared. There was nothing more for her.

“He thought this was a trap.” A voice spoke from behind her. Ladybug twisted immediately, taking a guarded stance. She was still avoiding the Justice League after all. Before her stood… someone. She suspected it was an Akuma. The woman had pale skin and wore a black dress, black gloves, and a black veil over her face.

“It isn’t. I’m alone. The city suffered enough as it is today. I suffered enough.” Ladybug’s voice cracked slightly.

“I see…” The akuma pursed her lips. For a moment, a purple butterfly appeared over her face before the woman nodded. “Fine. Give me your miraculous and I will take you to him.”

“That isn’t going to work and you know it. You would just leave me stuck here. I’m willing to offer a token of goodwill though.” With that, Ladybug pulled a necklace and dangled it before the akuma.

“Is that…?”

“The miraculous of the fox? Yes. No tricks. I want to negotiate. In-person.” She made sure to emphasize the last part.

The outline of the butterfly appeared in front of the Akuma’s face for a moment before she silently nodded. “I can lead you to him, but not before you reveal your face.”

“Fine.” Ladybug didn’t hesitate. She was past that point long ago. There was no hesitation, no doubt… no regret. Not for her actions anyway. No more.

In the flash of light, instead of Ladybug, Marinette stood before the akuma.

“You’re…” the woman’s voice was stuck in her throat.

“I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

Tikki, floating nearby gasped in fear. The Kwami didn’t get a chance to explain before Marinette resumed her transformation.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

The two leaped from the tower and started to zoom over the city. At first, they remained silent. Neither wanted to speak. It was tense anyway. It was, of course, Marinette who broke the silence first.

“Your… your look. Have you lost someone today?”

The woman didn’t answer immediately. She appeared to be mulling over the question at first. Or wondering if she should answer.

“A… colleague; coworker. He was… a friend of mine you could say. We’ve been working side-by-side for at least a decade.”

“I see…” Marinette pursed her lips into a thin line. “I’m sorry.” She spoke up after a moment. “I imagine you blame me now?”

“No.” The akuma snapped. “You’re just a child. I put the blame where it belongs. With heroes. And with people who chose to invite them.”

“Not hawkmoth?” Escaped ladybug’s mouth before she realized it.

“He… he never wanted this either. He isn’t a villain you believe him to be.” The akuma hesitated for a moment, but Marinette could sense it was her own opinion. She filed it in her brain under interesting.

-----------

When they arrived at Agreste manor, Marinette was surprised.

When they entered the study, she was baffled.

When they went down the secret elevator, she was angry.

When she stood before Hawkmoth, she was furious. And it wasn’t because he was her mortal enemy.

“So that’s why you neglect your only son?!” She screamed at him as soon as he turned to see her. His mouth moved, probably to give some excuse. “I don’t care if you want to rule the world or be a god or whatever. No matter what little sick excuse your brain found to justify your actions. You are not allowed to just ignore Adrien like that! He needs a father. He is a teenager and he needs you!”

“Madmoiselle Dupain-Cheng.” His voice was cold, but in a different way than she ever heard Gabriel Agreste or Hawkmoth speak.

“Gabriel Agreste. And I assume you akumatized your Assistant, Nathalie?” She pointed to the woman next to her.

“Astute observation, Ladybug. You risked a lot coming here to speak with me. I could take your miraculous now, or any other time. You gave me your most precious protection: your secret identity. So… what was that important?”

“I want to know. What is so important to you that you’re willing to go any length to get it?”

“That’s it?” Hawkmoth raised an eyebrow. “That’s all? You’re ready to risk everything over that little piece of knowledge?”

“Yes.” Once more, there was no hesitation. There was no doubt. Her heart had no place for doubts anymore. Her heart was still stuck under three levels worth of rubble.

“And what, pray tell, would you do if I told you?” He asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“That depends.” She could see he was now intrigued, so she started to explain. “On whether I like the goal or not. And on whether you understand fully the implications. If you pass, you will get my miraculous and I will deliver you Chat Noir’s miraculous too. If you fail, you still get my miraculous. But you will never get the ring. I made sure that if something happens tonight, he will retire. He will leave Paris and toss the ring into the ocean in a concrete box. You would be left to torture the city all you wish until the League found you, but the ring’s power would forever remain out of your reach. You would be left with nothing but a criminal record. And your son would sooner than later be left without both parents. Of course, you could abandon your crusade, but then I would’ve won. I’m not a naive girl without a plan. Not anymore.” She spat the last part angrily, but her gaze was not focused on Hawkmoth, but far in the distance.

“I… see. Clever. You’re right. This will probably end tonight.” He looked her over top to bottom. It was the first time he stood so close face to face with Ladybug. His nemesis.

Gabriel wasn’t sure if he was impressed with her, or infuriated. Scratch that, he was sure he was both. She outsmarted him. She was willing to make an ultimate sacrifice for the sake of ending the fight. In that very moment, in her determined expression, he saw a reflection of another headstrong woman he knew. It was as if Emilie’s spirit stood before him.

“So? How will it be?” she asked impatiently.

“Follow me.” He simply motioned for her and started walking.

Soon, the group entered a large chamber, lit by several lights. In the center of a platform in the far end stood a glass coffin. Even from the distance, Marinette easily saw there was a woman inside. She was quick to pass Hawkmoth and get there, even as he was trying to grab her.

When the akuma and Gabriel arrived, they watched as Marinette was carefully pacing around the coffin and muttering under her breath.

“She overused the damaged miraculous.” It wasn’t a question, but Hawkmoth answered anyway.

“Yes. Only the wish can bring her back.”

“You’re one of the biggest idiots in this whole city!” The girl screamed. “She is not dead, you moron. There are literally five different ways listed in the book which, may I remind you, you possess!” She continued to yell at him. “Hell! You could akumatize someone and give him healing power. You know… use the butterfly miraculous like it was meant to be used!” She scolded. “But nooo! You’ve got to be an idiot and immediately go for the most dangerous, imprecise, reckless, chaotic, risky solution there was! I’m sure she would’ve been ashamed.”

Gabriel was at a loss for words. Was it really that easy? It couldn’t have been. He checked several times. He would’ve known. The akuma left Nathalie, who collapsed onto the ground. Some tear stains were now visible on her face. “I… I was just… I did what she told me. Only the wish can bring back the dead.” He stammered.

“She. Is. Not. Dead.” Marinette made sure to punctuate each word. “She is in a coma. She is alive you moron. Tikki! Spots off!” The flash of light signaled the end of her transformation. “Be silent, little one.” She said in a caring voice. She couldn’t bring herself to take her anger on Kwami, but she couldn’t doubt now. “Akumatize me. Give me the power to heal her.”

The corruption left the akuma that was floating in the air, only for Hawkmoth to get his hands around the white butterfly and pour a new dose of power into it. It flew the short distance between them and sunk into Marinette’s purse. She smirked as the corrupted energy passed through her, turning her into an akuma. That is until she could see how she looked.

“I’m not sure how you can call yourself a designer and yet dress me in this!” she complained. Her skin was now deep red, the color of blood, and her clothes turned into a white nurse uniform. Still, she walked to the coffin and easily opened the top. From her purse (now medic’s bag) she pulled a needle and injected the content into Emilie.

When the beautiful woman started to move, letting out an exhausted groan, Marinette sighed in relief.

“Wha… what’s going on… the last thing I… Gabriel!” She bolted upright and immediately moaned in pain. Her hand instinctively flew to her back. “Gabriel Agreste! Did you keep me in this coffin for a whole week!?” She yelled at her husband. “And who’re those two?” She pointed at Marinette, who was smiling next to her, and Nathalie, still exhausted on the floor. “You were supposed to only reveal this to Adrien if anything happened to me. There was no talk about your assistant and… um, who’re you?” The woman turned to the akuma, who sighed and tore a strap of her bag. The butterfly left the item and Marinette reverted back to her normal form.

“I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m… was… used to be Ladybug.”

“But you’re just a kid. And why was Ladybug active… Gabriel!” She roared and her husband took a step back.

Marinette was… surprised. She didn’t expect Emilie to be like that. From what Adrien told her, she was supposed to be the kindest, nicest person in the world. Then again, he might’ve been looking at it through tinted glasses.

“Yup.” The bluenette couldn’t stop herself from commenting. “He decided that the best way to wake you up was to get the miraculi of Ladybug and Black Cat.”

“You nincompoop. That plan was only for when I was dead.” She glared heatedly at her husband and Marinette couldn’t help but be a bit smug. “And you couldn’t get the items from a kid? How many other heroes are there?”

“Only Chat Noir. He’s my age. And I sometimes call in some help from others.” Marinette supplied quickly. She was having entirely too much fun from watching Emilie tear Hawkmoth a new one.

“Two kids! You couldn’t defeat two kids! I leave for just one second and you start getting your rear kicked by kids!”

“He also neglected Adrien for the last two years.” Marinette decided to have as much fun as she could while it lasted.

“Gabriel Agreste. You’re officially grounded until I sort this mess. Now take your secretary and leave. I will sort the mess with you later,” she ordered. Her husband could only nod and leave as quickly as possible.

Marinette was now holding her sides laughing. ”That was amazing. Merci Madame Agreste. I didn’t think I would get to laugh tonight… But this was too good.”

“Oh sunshine, don’t worry. I will get him in line for you. Whoever decided to let kids fight for them was clearly sick or senile.”

“Master Fu was… he made some mistakes. I… maybe if I wasn’t so young…”

“It’s not your fault. Whatever you blame yourself for. You shouldn’t have been responsible for Paris. Or whatever else my husband did. I think some time on the couch will do him great.” The woman got up and walked over to pull Marinette into a hug. She then led the girl back to the (now half-open) coffin and seated them both on the edge. “Why don’t you tell me what ails you? I’m sure I can help.”

For a moment, Marinette looked the woman in the eyes. Then, she started talking. She told her everything.

About a class full of idiots who believed every lie and actively fought against her.

About Lila, who manipulated everyone and did everything to turn her life into a personal version of hell.

About the teachers, who preferred to let her be walked on then do their jobs.

About her partner, the dorky cat who couldn’t take life seriously and at times was immature. She came to like his antics, but he infuriated her as much as he kept her sane.

About the so-called heroes, who came into the city and ruined her life.

About the destroyed bakery. The four bodies inside.

“It was her birthday. Today my nonna had her sixtieth birthday. We were celebrating when the Akuma happened. Except the Justice League came. Funny thing. The cure can return anyone killed by magic. It can’t return those killed by aliens tossing cars around.”

“Do you have any other family?” Emilie asked, worried about the girl. She walked through so much pain in her short life.

“My uncle… but he lives in Shanghai now. Papa was the only child and Maman moved here from Asia… I’m not sure what will happen next.” The girl revealed.

“Next? Next, you will come live with us. No strings attached. I have no need for your earrings or other miraculous and I can keep my husband in check. I owe you that much.”

“I… you don’t owe me anything, Madame.” The girl quickly protested. “You’re not responsible for what happened. I don’t blame your family. Those were the American heroes who killed my parents. They were the ones that destroyed half the city. They are the ones to blame,” Marinette informed the woman in a solemn tone.

“And that’s why I want you to stay with me. With us. I can protect you. Teach you. You can have your vengeance on those who wronged you. I can make you a queen. They will regret the day they wronged you.”

“I… I accept.” Marinette bowed her head.

#miraculous #maribat #justice league #dc #dcu #dc comics #ladybug #evil!Emilie Agreste #hawkmoth #bamf marinette

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spencers-renaissance · 3 years

Text

💫Moreid Masterlist

GIF by @criminalmindsvibez

Hurt/Comfort or Angst with a Happy Ending

🌊Still Left With the River

Derek wakes up to find his boyfriend crying on the sofa. Cue the hurt, the comfort, and the fluff.

1.6k, hurt/comfort, fluff, caretaker!derek, autistic spencer, crying, sad spencer

🌳Trees and Seas Have Flown Away, I Call it Loving You

Derek says something hurtful, but it happens to lead to just about the best thing that’s ever happened to Spencer.

3.2k, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, fighting/making up, angst with a happy ending, autistic spencer, coming out, getting together

🍓A Chronicle of Loss

5 people Spencer Reid lost and 1 person he gained. A look at the traumas Spencer faces over the series, and giving him the happy ending he deserves.

3.6k, grief, loss, abandonment issues, insecurity, depression, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, getting together, ‘didn’t know they were dating’, protective derek, autistic spencer

🍯Honeysuckle

The BAU decide to head out for a picnic one summer afternoon, but they’re soon rudely interrupted by a bee sting and anaphylactic shock. Seeing Spencer carted off in an ambulance is not exactly how they expected the day to go.

2.3k, whump, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, hurt spencer, friendship, medical conditions, severe allergic reactions

🌙The Noiseless Crash of Crumbling Walls

After Derek and Spencer are paired up on a science project in their senior year of high school, they become the closest, most unlikely friends possible. But what happens when Derek finally finds out what Spencer's dealing with at home? Inspired by the prompt “where did you get those bruises?”

4.5k, high school au, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, hurt spencer, protective derek, abuse, friendship, pre-slash, spencer just turned 16, derek is almost 18

🔥The Insistent Burn of a Falling Heart - part two

Derek is hopelessly in love with his childhood best friend, and he can't even escape him at home, since they're living together while they study at Cal Tech. He's resigned himself to a miserable, Spencer-less fate until lasagne, bad memories, and a whole lot of crying bring the real truth out into the open.

4.2k, hurt!spencer, fluff, angst with a happy ending, mutual pining, getting together, college au, first kiss, misunderstandings

💔let him be soft (and let him be mine) part one // part two

After Derek pulls another self-sacrificing stunt at the culmination of their most recent case, Spencer runs out of their apartment as he desperately grapples with how it makes him feel. (Collab with @criminalmindsvibez! You can find her complimentary edit here.)

2.4k, hurt/comfort, crying, abandonment issues, injured!derek, hurt!spencer, miscommunication, angst with a happy ending, fluff, protective!derek

🪦how the cold numbs everything but grief

Six days after Emily dies, Spencer finds himself soaked in freezing water, catatonic on the bathroom floor. Only Derek can ease the roaring, burning, demanding agony of this grief.

1.2k, grief/mourning, emily’s ‘death’ in season six, hurt!spencer, hurt!derek, hurt/comfort, angst with a hopeful ending (serious tw for grief here)

✨storm-darkened or starry bright

Spencer contracts HIV. It all falls apart after that.

6.5k, angst, illness, hurt!spencer, hurt/comfort, worried derek, depression, mutual pining, getting together, angst w a happy ending

⛈this heavy humanness

Spencer leaves the oven on overnight, and Derek - whose pent-up emotions get the best of him - loses it, exposing secrets neither of them expected to be spilled, for two very different reasons. They get there in the end.

3.9k, est. rel., past abuse, arguing & making up, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, miscommunication hurt spencer

💤I turn and reach for you

Three months after Hankel, Spencer starts getting terrible nightmares that keep him up at night. He tries desperately to keep his secret until one day when it's all too much to bear anymore. Luckily, Derek Morgan is there to hold him together as he falls apart.

2.1k, nightmares, hurt/comfort, ptsd, angst with a happy ending, fluff, literal sleeping together, getting together, post-revelations

Pure Fluff

🌒when I fall asleep (it is your eyes that I close)

Spencer’s not been sleeping, and as much as Derek adores his sleepy clinginess and physical affection, as soon as they get home he’s determined to get to the bottom of it.

1.9k, fluff, hurt/comfort, sleep-deprivation, clingy!spencer, physical affection, anxiety, cuddling

🎄A Christmas Like This

Spencer has a very specific plan for their first Christmas in their new house, and it has to be absolutely perfect. Derek’s going to do everything in his power to make his boyfriend as happy as possible, even if that means a house covered in garlands and a tree covered in animal skeletons…

2.9k, fluff, christmas fic, est relationship, neurodivergence, romance, domesticity, day in the life

💍my heart talks about nothing but you

Derek finds Spencer staring longingly at dancing newlyweds while on a case and once he gets to the bottom of why he’s tasked with making a proposal to a man who knows it’s coming special somehow. (He pulls it off.)

2.5k, established relationship, hurt/comfort, minor angst, fluff, relationship discussions, proposal, protective derek

✨I told the stars about you - part two

Derek and Spencer have their first date. They dance to Frank Sinatra and cuddle in an ice cream parlour, before kissing the hell out of each other at Spencer's front door. That's pretty much it. (Prequel to above fic.)

2.1k, first date, first kiss, pure tooth-rotting fluff, dancing, flirting, protective derek

🎂I can’t hold enough of you in my hands - part three

Derek and Spencer are finally getting married and the rest of the BAU are there to help them through every step of the day. Including a little surprise that Derek has up his sleeve for their first dance. (Third part to the above two fics.)

3.1k, tooth-rotting fluff, marriage/wedding day, team as family, team dynamics, domesticity, paternal hotch, maternal alex, just a whole lotta love man

🔪Shovel Talk

Hotch and Emily find out about Derek's relationship with Spencer and decide it's time for a chat.

1.5k, fluff, humour, est. rel., protective!derek, emily, and hotch, relationship reveal, mentions of past hurt spencer

📚I’ll (Never) Know What It’s Like Not to Love You

Spencer finds his old journals in the attic, and he and Derek reminisce on the days they used to pine for one another. Luckily, those days are over, and they have forever ahead of them.

1.3k, tooth-rotting domestic fluff, past mutual pining, past hurt!spencer, cuddling & snuggling, late canon

Getting Together

🌨Even More Beautiful

The BAU is stuck in Michigan with no case and no way home, so naturally, Spencer and Derek confess their love for one another. (Based on the prompt ‘You look even more beautiful covered in snow.’)

3.5k, fluff, love confessions, shy spencer, insecurity, hurt/comfort

🎧Hear it in the Silence

A short, fluffy chronicle of Spencer realising in increments how in love with Derek he is, and navigating a real, beautifully sweet relationship that's not always smooth sailing, especially since he's been hurt before. (Based on Taylor Swift’s You are in Love.)

3.7k, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, dev relationship, tw past abuse, domesticity

🎅🏼Secret Santa

Penelope rigs the BAU’s Secret Santa game to finally get Derek and Spencer together with extraordinary success, and they have her to thank for their future first date. Oh, and a sprig of mistletoe nearly throws the whole thing out the window.

2.8k, fluff, getting together, insecurity/anxiety, christmas fic, first kiss, misunderstandings, friendship

🌳The One Constant

Derek wakes up after having his appendix removed with temporary amnesia from the anesthesia, and Spencer certainly isn't prepared for the man he's pined after for four years to a) not recognise him, and b) start flirting with him. It all works out in the end, with a little help from Hotch.

4k, hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, insecure spencer, flirting, getting together, misunderstandings, first kiss

☕️i’ll retire my bones to make you tea and read you poetry

Derek doesn't exactly expect to invite a sleepy Spencer over for a movie night after a case, but his blinding smile in response makes him happy he did. The kiss they share the next morning makes him even happier.

3.6k, fluff, getting together, cuddling, insecure!spencer, pet names, mutual pining, light hurt/comfort, first kiss, love confessions

Embarrassed!Spencer Drabble

A misunderstanding at a BAU get together has Spencer embarrassed and a long-awaited kiss finally happening.

1.2k, fluff, angst, getting together, first kiss

📚100

Spencer's an academic researcher who spends every morning at his local library. Derek just happens to drop by one Tuesday and ask the pretty boy in the classics section if he can help him find a book. Sparks fly.

2.1k, library au, fluff, meet-cute, pining, shy spencer, coming out

💣Mayhem

Imagine that scene in S4E1 when Derek is driving the ambulance loaded with a bomb about to explode, except it’s Spencer on the other end of the phone and they finally get their shit together.

4.2k, canon divergence, spencer is the tech analyst, getting together, mutual pining, insecure spencer, angst with a happy ending, fluff, declarations of love

🧑🏻‍🦽 dry me off and hold me close

Derek has finally relented and is bringing his boyfriend Spencer to meet the rest of the team. That means, though, he has to finally tell them about his boyfriend's disability. Terrified that they'll react badly, he puts it off until he can't anymore. Turns out he was worried for nothing

5.7k, so much fluff, protective derek, disabled spencer, caretaker derek, spencer is not in the bau, team as family, hurt/comfort, light angst, est. rel, chronic illness, slice of life: disabled edition

💐I’ll bloom for you (while my heart still cries)

(Based on the age-old tumblr prompt) "Sometimes I steal flowers from your garden on my way to the cemetery and today you've caught me and insisted on coming with me to make sure the 'girl is pretty enough to warrant flower theft' and I'm trying to figure out how to break it to you that we're on our way to a graveyard."

3.7k, fluff, meet-cute, au: student spencer, fbi agent derek, hacker penelope, grief & mourning, shy spencer, getting together, mutual pining

🌖This Gravitational Pull

Penelope Garcia sets her two best friends Derek & Spencer up on a blind first date. Even with the best intentions and highest expectations, no-one could've predicted it would go quite this well.

2.9k, fluff, first date, au: diff first meeting, shy spencer, insecurity, anxiety, flirting, cuddling, protective derek, silly amounts of affection

#criminal minds #criminal minds masterlist #criminal minds fic #moreid #moreid fic #derek morgan #spencer reid #derek morgan/spencer reid #derek morgan x spencer reid

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wistfulcynic · 4 years

Text

melancholy

There’s a post somewhere in the depths of Tumblr (if anyone knows where please post the link) something to the effect of a person who had been suffering through a bout of depression one day started to sing while they were cooking. Their roommate immediately rushed in, overwhelmed with relief because they knew that singing meant the person was feeling better.

This is inspired by that.

melancholy:

August is always a difficult month for Killian. As if the sweltering heat and the mosquitoes and the bittersweet sense of summer waning weren’t bad enough, it’s also the month in which Liam died. Each year Killian grows tense and snappish as the anniversary approaches, both eager for the damned thing to be over and wishing it would never come.

And this year, this one, is the worst yet. This August marks ten years since his brother passed, a fact that first begins to worm its way into Killian’s mind on a soft May day when he should be happy—his own bloody birthday. He’s 29 this year and with thirty now not so much waiting around the corner as looming up directly in his path, he finds himself struck by the realisation of just how painfully young Liam had been when he died. He can’t stop thinking about it as August draws nearer, or of all the things he’s seen and done that Liam—dead before he even saw his quarter-century—never had the chance to try.

He knows himself well enough to be aware of what miserable company he is when these fits of melancholy overtake him, and this being such a long and vicious one he does his best to stay away from Emma as much as he can until it passes. His roommate has enough to deal with, he thinks, she doesn’t need him adding to her burdens. So he keeps to himself, stays in his room with music on his headphones or goes to the bar he knows she hates to brood over a glass of rum. Sometimes he takes long walks late into the night, alone with his thoughts and safely away from the temptation of Emma Swan.

On the day of the anniversary itself he runs into her despite all his efforts. Her skip kept her out later than usual and so it happens that when he returns from the bar, drunk and aching deep in his soul, he finds her not asleep in her bed but in the kitchen making grilled cheese. She gives him a look that’s at once understanding and tentative, oddly yearning and full of sympathy, and he forces a smile to his face but does not speak. She opens her mouth but he shakes his head hard, willing her to understand that there’s no way he can bear her kindness now. If she offers it he will break and he can’t risk that, not with her. She means too much to him and he already wants so many things that she can’t give—there’s no telling what he’ll do or say if he lets his guard down now when he’s so bruised and so needy and so alone.

She nods and swallows and tries to smile, and he retreats to his room feeling worse than ever. He lies in bed with sleep nowhere to be had and he thinks, once again, about Liam. He thinks about how his brother died before he had a chance to see the world as he always wanted. Before he could learn to sail the ships he used to admire in the harbour. Before he could fall in love.

What kind of woman would he have chosen, Killian wonders. Or, perhaps, what kind of man? Either is equally plausible; he truly has no idea how Liam felt about love or sex or romance. It occurs to him that in some ways he hardly knew his brother at all.

He’s certain though that whomever Liam might have chosen to love, he’d have made better go at it than Killian. Better than the married woman that he failed to save, better than the roommate with her mile-high walls who will never love him back. It’s almost like he’s trying to be alone, he thinks bitterly, and to waste every opportunity offered by the life that Liam worked so hard to give him.

His August mood that started in May lingers well past the end of summer, and the air is crisp with the bite of early October when Killian realises that he’s managed to go a whole day without once thinking of Liam. It makes him rather sad again but it’s also a relief; he can’t live his life trapped in grief and guilt and recrimination. And he needs to live that life, and live it as well as he knows how—he owes Liam at least that much.

The following day finds him in the kitchen making fajitas when Emma gets home. He’s in the mood to cook for the first time in ages and he’s making more than enough to share, both because Emma’s been known to have a bowl of cereal of an evening and call it dinner and because Killian figures a nice meal will serve as an apology for how difficult it must have been living with him these past few months.

He’s singing to himself when the front door opens, one of the old sea shanties he grew up hearing, and when Emma appears in the kitchen he gives her an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, love,” he says. “I know the shanties aren’t your favourite, but—urgh.”

Emma strides across the room and flings her arms around him, squeezing him so tightly he grunts. She presses her face against his neck and he feels the warmth of her tears on his skin.

“Thank God,” she whispers. “Thank fucking God.”

“What’s this, Swan?” He hugs her back then pulls slightly away so he can look down at her face. “What’s wrong?”

“When you’re sad you stop singing,” she whispers, as fresh burst of tears begins to flow. “This is the first time you’ve sung in six months. I’m just—” she breaks off on a sob. “I’m so relieved you’re feeling better. I was so worried, Killian.”

He stares at her. “You were worried about me?”

“Of course I was!” She tries to snap but it comes out weak and watery. “I lov—ah—I care about you.”

His breath catches and his heart stutters as she goes rigid in his arms and watches him warily. In times past he’d have convinced himself it was a slip of the tongue and nothing more, but his vow to live his life the best he can is fresh in his mind, and Emma is still holding him so tightly and she’s still crying... crying because he was sad. Because she saw that he was sad. Not that he was a pain in her arse to live with but that deep down he wasn’t well.

She always sees him.

Live, he reminds himself. Take the risk, for Liam who never could.

He brushes the hair back from her face, tear-streaked and gorgeous and full of an apprehension that breaks his heart. “I love you too, Emma,” he says softly.

Her mouth falls open. “You do?” she gasps.

“Aye. Very much.”

“Oh, Killian.” She squeezes him again and he lets her, cradling her head as she weeps freely into his shoulder, letting his fingers tangle in her hair as they have longed to do for years now.

“I’m so sorry for worrying you, love,” he murmurs. “I never dreamed you’d notice.”

“Of course I noticed,” she retorts, pulling back to dry her cheeks on the sleeve of her sweater. “I know it’s ten been ten years since Liam died and I knew how much that would upset you. I wanted to help, but—”

“But I didn’t let you,” he finishes, shaking his head. “I’ve been a bloody fool. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I can. So long as you promise me one thing.”

“Anything, darling.”

“The next time you feel that way, don’t try to handle it alone. If you don’t want to talk to me there are counsellors—”

“You’ll do, Swan,” he assures her. “And I promise.”

She nods, her smile brilliant with relief, light with lifted worry. “I’m always here for you, Killian,” she says. “To listen or hold your hand or anything else you need.” She takes a deep breath. “Because I love you.”

Something settles in Killian’s chest, something that feels terrifyingly like happiness. He cups Emma’s face in his hands and kisses her, a gentle, clinging kiss that she stands on her toes to return, and for the first time in ten years Killian Jones knows that he is not alone.

#cs fic #cs ficlet #cs ff #cs ff au #cw: depression #captain swan #profdanglaisstuff

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captkirkland · 4 years

Text

so i dont write stuff on tumblr very often cause im embarrassed about my writing but i got a drabble in mind based off of something else i wrote (tw for drowning but he’s fine. its fine) ~

Water pelts the deck of the ship below Arthur's boots, angry as it beats and batters the sails. He can hardly even hear himself over the whistling wind and the sharp, stinging rain, and he knows how loudly he must be yelling to his other crew members. Where even are they..? He's not got a clue, but the storm the ship's sailing through makes the main mast creak and groan with wooden fatigue.

Every ear-piercing cry threatens its eventual snap. God, where the hell is everyone?! Have they all lost their minds, there's no way anyone's asleep below deck like this! Arthur doesn't think about it any longer than that, he's got to loosen the ropes and lower the sails, which by God is a lot easier said than done. The Captain sloshes through water that's up to his knees, it and the wind both doing their damnedest to push him down. He's soaked to the bone, and colder than ice, but he can't stop. Or rather, he wont. They're nowhere near land, and if this mast--or any other for that matter--breaks everyone on board is promised to the sea and her hunger. It feels like ages before Arthur reaches the mast, grabbing the ropes around both of his hands and his wrists, just so he can pull with all of his might. Bad form, he knows, as the ropes feel like they burn into his skin from their excruciating protests, but that wont keep the man from pulling the sails closed.

Inching and inching and inching, the ocean soaked sails are so heavy even they object their movement against the angry wind-- this is a job meant for many men, not one. The only thing Arthur's got on his side is the fact that he's a not a simple man. He’s a damned country, and with burning green eyes he yanks the ropes as taut as they can be, twisting them about a hold to keep them there. Steady. There's another though, the foresail needs to be closed too lest the ship just start spinning off course in the storm. Obviously his body screams for him to stop, but the deep mix of emotions in England’s chest push him through it. Those hardly ever make it out of him in the best of ways, and this isn’t exactly an exception either, but that’s beyond the point. He’s got to make it out of this, not just for himself, but for everyone else in the world he needs to see after. The crew can receive a stern talking to later, but this situation is now way beyond that which could be quelled by reason, or even by shouting. All he can do is rely on himself now. Arthur pushes through the water, which smacks and beats at his thighs as the wind pushes at him from what feels like all angles just to keep him from reaching the foremast. But something wraps itself around his leg in the sea that angrily invites itself aboard like its trying to flood the place. Is it a rope? Arthur can’t particularly tell, but he moves to drag his foot out of it with a loud grunt of effort as he trips starboard towards the bowsprit despite the effort. It takes everything he has not to be swept away, grabbing his arms around the mast he’s reached, fingers slipping against the slick wood. If he weren’t smarter, he’d think the ocean wanted him to fail. But he is smarter.. and it still seems that way.

There’s curses as Arthur chokes against the salty water, the howling of the situation much too loud to even hear himself. Maybe that, or he’s gone deaf and the only sound that wants to meet his ears is the voice of God yelling in anger for the misdeeds of himself and others. Who really knows, and who really even bloody cares at this point?! Gritting his teeth, Arthur digs his nails into the ropes around the base of the foremast as he drags himself to his feet, and wraps the coarse sail ropes around his arms again. He heaves out in effort, pulling against the way the waves want to drag him, he’s got to pull back, not to the side. The waters all rushing to the right, but he digs his heels into the small cracks in the flooring beneath him, tugging back… and back.. and back... until finally he’s gone far enough. Upon reaching the next hold, Arthur wraps the rope around it so tight he can feel the muscles in his entire body burn from the effort of it all. Once he’s done, he looks around the ship for what he has to do next, but catches himself blindsided instead. A giant crate caught adrift in the water on the deck comes careening from his left side while he’s looking right, and it smacks directly into him, the momentum of it pushing Arthur over with enough force to drive him in the fearsome strength of the Eddy that’s been forming across the ship this entire time. It pulls him into its current, Arthur for once feeling so much less like a country and so much more like a man who can hardly save himself as it throws him overboard. First there’s nothing but the air and its chill.. and then there’s nothing but water and its even bitterer cold. He can’t breathe. He can’t swim. What the hell kind of pirate can’t swim!? Arthur’s never been able to, and his arms feel so tired and witless against the storming sea. Everything’s dark, salty, and nigh frozen... and he still can’t breathe. Is he choking? Is he dying? Is this what dying genuinely feels like? It’s horrifying. How many times do humans go through this? Once. He’s gone through “death” before in the past, but at least then he always knew he’d open his eyes again. He knew he’d feel his heart beating again. This is so much worse, all he can see is the filtered moonlight through the deepest darkness he’s ever witnessed.. and all of its closing in around him as his hand reaches upwards. And he still can’t breathe. Arthur wakes with a start suddenly, having fallen asleep at his desk again, surrounded in papers and pens that’ve fallen to the ground by now. His breath is so uneven, and he falls over out of his chair, like he should be trying to kick and swipe his hands. It isn’t till he’s on the ground and holding himself that he genuinely realizes he’s simply on the floor in his apartment, the clock ticking softly in the background like nothing happened. God, his throat burns, his wrists sting, and it’s still so hard to breathe. Arthur’s chest heaves as he tries to recall everything that just happened, panic rising in his chest in a manner he can’t help but despise. Its then that the thought races across the front of his mind that thinks he might be having a panic attack or something. This is so stupid! It was just a dream, what on Earth is this happening to him for? His heart feels as if its running laps in his chest, like a frightened rabbit trying to escape a hungry wolf that doesn’t even exist anymore, and hasn’t for hundreds of years at this point. Clammy, sweaty hands find the embroidered seat of a wooden chair as he pushes himself up to his feet against his body’s better judgement, like he’s forcing himself to be fine in the face of his own failings. Well, not just like, he is doing that really. But then the phone rings, and the loud sound nearly sends England to the ceiling of his own office. “Fucking Christ,” he curses to himself, mumbling the words as he rubs the front of his face before dragging both hands down. Soon, he reaches over the desk for his phone and swipes it up into his hand. With a bit of fumbling from fingers that wont stop shaking, he answers the call. “Hello?” “Oh, Alfred, what is it?” “Hah, of course you’d want something like that.. yes, I can bring it by rather soon.” “Mhm.” “Really, is that so?” “Baffling.” “And how are you beyond that?” “That’s very nice, yes, I’m fine as well. Had a bit of a nap, I’m about to put on the afternoon tea, you really should come by my house soon so I can share a bit.” “Ahh.. of course, deal with that first then.” “Mhm, see you soon, goodbye.” He hangs up the phone, clicking the red button after a try or two, just letting it fall back down to the table with a sigh. At least getting something for Alfred done always takes his mind off of things, he can’t help but think of the American instead. God bless him, he doesn’t even know what he does.

#hetalia #iggy rambles #iggy writes #my writing #hws england #woahhh pirate england with no brim #brim with no pirate england #no pirate england with no brim

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meggie-stardust · 3 years

Text

Tagged by the always lovely @myletternevercame. Thanks babe < 3

how many works do you have on AO3? 57

what’s your total ao3 word count? 18,2645 (dang!)

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Acts of Man | Merlin | Merlin/Arthur

Nightmares | PJO | Jason/Percy

Looking for the Things We Lost | Teen Wolf | Peter/Stiles

Here I Am (Stuck in the Middle With You) | PJO | Jason/Percy

The Legend is True | Teen Wolf | Peter/Stiles

do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to as often as I can. When I first post something and I get an influx of comments, I try to do it once a day. But when I get random comments on old stuff, I often forget to go back and reply, but I read every single one, and I do try to remember to write back.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Oh man. Most of my fics happy endings... But the happiest?? Probably Acts of Man, since it's a Christmas fic and it has this kind of storybook coda on the end of it.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Hmm. My older fics tended to be a little more angsty and open ended... probably this old Sterek fic Those Who Hunt Us or this Isaac Lahey study Bygone

do you write crossovers? Not much anymore, but I did a cool 3 sentence fic challenge back in 2014 and each prompt (from tumblr folks at the time) were things like MJN air + Supernatural or Sherlock and John work at Mooby's. I also have a soft spot for this Sherlock/Cowboy Bebop xover cleverly called 221Bebop: Honky Tonk Woman. And of course, there is the abandoned HP/Sherlock crossover bestie and I started and will never finish, so IDK why I even bring it up. Actually come to think of it, I also had the Sherlock Monstrumologist one... I just wrote a lot of Sherlock xover fic back in the day, huh.

have you ever received hate on a fic? Not on AO3 comments. I haven't gotten some odd reviews/comments, but I have been very fortunate to have not experienced much of this in my 20+ years in fandom.

do you write smut? if so, what kind? Yes. All of the kinds?? I remember thinking it was such a big deal to write a "lemon" back int the day, and now it's old hat. Of course, I can't really write PWPs (I think I have one maybe??), I always have to write a giant backstory just to get to the good stuff (see my 18k GW beast of a fic for a lemon/smut fest. smhd)

have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I'm aware of...

have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! And it's such an insanely wonderful honor. I've also had fics written that are inspired by mine and I just... blanket permission to anyone who wants to remix, translate, art, whatever my work. It's so flattering.

Most recently, I had Black Sails in the Sunset translated into Portuguese.

have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, but it was abandoned. I would love to do something like that again. Or something slightly different, like a comic *cough*@bettertasting*cough*

what’s your all-time favourite ship? How does one even answer that? Heero/Duo was the ship that got me into fandom; Harry/Draco is something I will still occasionally return to when I want like nostalgic comfort; Merlin/Arthur has some of the best fanworks I've ever consumed and they feel more like canon works than fanon; I've been reading and writing Stiles/Peter for like 5 years now... So, this is my non-answer. IDK man. I have a whole fleet and I'm ok with that.

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I had this idea for a Stranger Things OT3 fic at the end of Season 1, and then I wrote the first chapter and never posted it or wrote more before Season 2 dropped, and meh. I'll never go back to it. I loved the idea, but the characters have changed so much, I don't think I could capture what I wanted anymore. Maybe I'll post my WIPs I'll never finish someday and clean out my WIP folder.

what are your writing strengths? I think I'm funny and can inject that well into characters? And I like to think that I am good at writing in the character voice.

what are your writing weaknesses? If I need a "real" plot. Like, I cannot write case fics or mission fics or anything like that. I spent ages reworking my last fic so I could "Kevin Smith" the action by only have characters talk about some stuff that happened to them, and never see any of it on screen.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think I would take the easy way out and do it like: "blah blah blah" she said in French; or "she let out a rant in French" but never actually worry about translating anything.

what was the first fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing! And back at it 20 years later!

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Hmmm. I really do like the last fic I wrote, my reentry to GW:

Our Love Keeps the Things it Finds | Gundam Wing | Heero/Duo/Trowa

And on the other end of the spectrum, and short 500 word fic that I really, really love:

A Slow Deep Panic | PJO | pre-Jason/Percy-ish

ok tagging: @punchedbymarkesmith @gatesofdisorder @lolahardy @pineappleglazedham @gentleranium @theheadgirl and you! Yes, you! Do you write fic? Are we mutuals? Do you want me to tag you in things? Let me know by doing this and tagging me!

#tagged #meg answers things #meg writes fic #fandom meme

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tsukikoayanosuke · 3 years

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7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 16, 27, 35 & 39

[It’s a lot again 😅 hope you don’t mind :D]

I might be going way too far with these answers, so please bear with me ^^’

Sorry for the long rambles but these are my answers!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Oof. This is hard. There’s actually a lot of paragraphs that I like throughout the writing process. I can re-read and just pick which is my favorite, it’ll be different every time.

But, I think the thing currently going on with TW:OPT can be summed up in this Once Upon a Time… (I was being dumb and I thought prose is just poetry without rhyme)

So, this drabble is written on the run. There’s not really deep thought and I can’t even remember why I wrote it in the first place. From the date I posted it on Tumblr it was in the middle of Octavinelle Arc.

But, in this small crappy prose-poetry, it has one of the themes in TW:OPT: happy vs sad ending. This is something that I want to build since in the early stage. The theme of TW:OPT is second chances for the reincarnated villains, giving them a happy ending, something way better than the original ones.

So, if you look for example the two lines about the Queen of Heart:

The Queen of Heart was forgotten by Alice like it was just a bad dream

The Queen of Heart will always be remembered by Alice as his dear friend and the greatest queen

The first line is what happens to the original Disney Alice’s Queen of Hearts, while the second line is what happens to Riddle, the current reincarnation of the Queen of Hearts. It’s a good change for Riddle’s life.

However, like everything, there has to be something to balance it.

After all, good endings cannot exist without bad endings.

Can the good guys really live with the bad guys in harmony? After all, all Disney movie always has “good wins, evil lose” theme. If the “evil side” wins, wouldn’t that mean the “good side” loses? Is that even a good thing or even possible?

After all, the One-Eyed Captain found his happy ending to sail away once again. What will happen to him in his next life?

This line becomes the question. What will happen to the already-set happy endings? Would they just disappear to change into bad endings to keep the balance?

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I’m debating between many dialogues, but I think the one piece I’m most proud of is in Chapter 97. I'm cutting a lot of the narration and just focus on the dialogues because it becomes too long.

Riddle: What happens that day? The day when everything went downhill. Azul: Didn't anyone tell you already? Riddle: I want to hear it from your or Jonah's mouth. What happened that you must curse him? Azul: Pretty simple, really. I told him not to come here that day, and he did To make it worse, that boy was stupid enough to go back against our agreement. Riddle: Just that? Azul: Oh, please, dear Crimson Ruler. I don't want to hear that from you. Have you forgotten about your reign before? Riddle: I know what I did was tyrannical, but I want to be better. Azul: Because of the captain told you too? Riddle: No. This is my choice to change. Just like it was your choice to curse him. He trusts you, you know? He knows that you wouldn't go back against your own words, which was why he was willing to sign another contract with you. Azul: If he trusts me that much, why is he against me? If he trusts me, why did he choose to save his stupid friends than agreeing with me? Tell me, Riddle Rosehearts...Why does he choose you instead of me?

We all know what happened during Octavinelle Arc and I don't deny that this sounds cheesy or slightly ooc. And let me just say this, there's no intention of this become a love triangle or whatsoever.

There are two things I want to highlight in this exchange: Riddle's growth and Azul's decline.

Riddle, after everything happened in Heartslabyul and Savanclaw arc, finally putting his foot down on where he wants to stand. He wants to be a better person, more than just the feared Crimson Tyrant. That's why he's helping them. Not because the boys are breaking the rules, not because someone tells him to, but Riddle is willing to risk it all, even his unique magic (as we see at the end of this chapter and the next) to save his friends. Again, this might sound ooc and I apologize, but from my perspective, this is a logical step of development for Riddle.

Meanwhile, Azul is showing more and more decline from this until the end of Octavinelle Arc even Scarabia Arc. For Azul who knows how easy people can leave and mock when you have nothing, seeing Jonah leave him and siding with the anemones is basically a betrayal. He can't think rationally when it comes to the betrayal and we see how brash he can be with anything related to Jonah throughout the arc where all of their interaction nearly kills Jonah.

If Riddle-Jonah is a coming-of-age story, Azul-Jonah is a broken friendship story.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

This is a hard one to write. You might think I’ll just answer with TW:OPT, but honestly, all multi chapters fanfic has their own difficulties, so I can’t choose which is the hardest.

For Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure, where I do treat this as a novel-writing practice, keeping the consistency with the theme, plot points, and characterization.

For Private Tutor, Angel of Death, Philza Minecraft, actually coming up with new ideas is hard because I don’t based this on anything, and just write anything once a week. In addition that I’m still new in Dream SMP fandom so characterization won’t be the strongest thing.

For both TWST MC Hybrid AU and Magical Girl AU, giving the massive cast equal spotlight and actually not getting lost is quite a challenge. Both AU has seven main characters and I need to give them the same amount to screen time.

And don’t get me started with those smut. I won’t be talking about it because I’m keeping it family friendly. Those has their own problems XD

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

As I said, every fic has their own problems, even one shot. So, I’m looking through my works and trying to figure out which fic I wrote the fastest but had the most fun.

I think I’ll go with A Wish for a Proposal because the comfort in this fic with Ace going heads over heels for Deuce and being doki-doki all the time. And the kiss under a shooting star, AH! Poetic cinema~

I do enjoy when I wrote how Ace thought keeping a toy ring as childish but he ended up using it to confess to Deuce and thinking that it’s not as childish as he thought.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

There are good writing advice that I had head, one of them came from On Writing: Great Character Descriptions! by Hello Future Me. He has so many good advices in writing and I highly recommend him.

He said that “when describing characters it’s good to focus on their movements that can tell the readers of who the characters are”. As someone who has many troubles in writing physical description, this is actually a great alternative, especially when you want to go thought the “show don’t tell”.

After watching the video I tried to write something. I ended up writing Jonah’s father, Benjamin, in Chapter 137

The owner of the inn was an old man who, coincidentally, also shared the 'Argentum' surname. Benjamin Argentum was a man with slouched back from the burden of the world, white strands on his reddish-brown hair and tired, but kind, black eyes. He walked slowly with his walking stick, claiming that his knees were never that strong since a cart accident during his younger days. The way he speaks was gentle like everyone's favorite uncle/grandfather, along with the delicious appetizer that he had prepared a few minutes ago on the reception table. The spices he used reminiscent of the spices Jonah used in his Ramshackle Kitchen. There was no way all of these were coincidences. Crowley wouldn't doubt if Jonah Argentum ever grew old, he would be looking exactly like the warm innkeeper.

I want to highlight how Benjamin is a kind old man ("He walked slowly with his walking stick, claiming that his knees were never that strong since a cart accident during his younger days”, ”The way he speaks was gentle like everyone's favorite uncle/grandfather”) but has his own problems (”a man with slouched back from the burden of the world”), and very similar to Jonah (”The owner of the inn was an old man who, coincidentally, also shared the 'Argentum' surname”, ”The spices he used reminiscent of the spices Jonah used in his Ramshackle Kitchen”, “Crowley wouldn't doubt if Jonah Argentum ever grew old, he would be looking exactly like the warm innkeeper.”)

It’s not the best descriptions, because most of the example used highlight only one most recognizable feature while my description highlight nearly everything. I still need some practice.

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

“Write what’s mainstream”.

Here’s my problem with it: sometimes anything that’s mainstream is not my thing. I like to challenge what we are given and give it a spin.

I mentioned before that growing up with Indonesian TV Series that only centers around love, riches, and cheating, I grew tired of it. That was why I once tried to make a script for a group of friends creating a classical music band and mental problems.

I’m not the first one to make an adaptation of TWST, but I think I’m one of the first, at least in AO3, that make an adaptation with Male MC. Among the Female MC or Female Readers story with a hint (or too much) of Romance, I want to give something for the small group who wants Male MC or something more platonic to read.

I always want to push slightly further, trying something that I haven’t seen at first glance, giving varieties. I will admit that would always doubt whether me writing something different is even worth it or not. But when I saw that yes, this is worth it, I gain more confidence and become bolder in my twist.

Going against the mainstream is risky, but we'll see whether it's worth it or not.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Oh no... Does it have to be a romantic pairing?

Okay. I don't really have an OTP. I mean, I like ROnah and JonAzul, but I don't think I can't live with writing only about them.

So, romantically, I don’t know. But, this doesn’t help with platonically either because I find enjoyment in writing all relationship. Just pushing the limit of my writing, you know?

So, I don’t think I can answer this because I’m a coward XD

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

A mixed bag.

So currently I'm in at least 2 collab projects: TWST MC Hybrid AU and Arisu in Alternate Wonderland. In the former, I'm the group leader, while in the latter, I'm just a writer.

Both sidea are different experiences. With AiAW, it's definitely lighter because this is basically retelling TWST but with seven Yuus. However because of this freedom and the possibilities of anything, I cannot predict whether my oc action will affects in the future or how they would interact with other ocs in the project.

With Hybrid AU, since this is a fantasy au, anything can happen. Plus as the main writer, I can see and plan clearly which event will be important and setting the characters' arc. It's definitely harder to organize because of the various idea that we want to write.

So, yeah. Collaboration can be two things for me: a scripted roleplay or a freestyle roleplay

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

*looking at draft for TW:OPT Book 2*

Maybe...?

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I remember when I was a kid, I wrote a fanfiction where it only features OCs, and someone gave a review, ranting about the lack of canon characters. I, of course, sulked a bit but then just keep writing.

However, what I usually do when it comes to comments is take them into considerations. During Scarabia Arc I got a comment that the Jonah-Azul therapy moment is kinda weak, and rereading it, I can see that. Which was why the next part of the therapy Arc I tried to connect them further. So compare the JonAzul scene in the last part of Chapter 124 with the first part of Chapter 126. At least for me, I prefer the latter because there's more intimacy.

#40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers #the captain is answering!#the captain's rambling

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tthael · 3 years

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What are your thoughts on trans eddie? I love it bc I'm trans and eddie is like one of my comfort characters. Since you're the best writer I've ever seen I'm curious on your thoughts.

Thank you, that’s so nice! I also have some Gender Trouble (transmasc isn’t quite the right word) and I think about gender dynamics a lot, and I think Eddie in particular has an interesting relationship with his masculinity in canon that makes him ripe for this kind of analysis.

Back when I was mostly interested in Hobbit fanfiction, I read a lot of good fics that played around with the gender dynamics of the characters; so while I know that genderswap fics can be a hot button issue because of transphobia and accompanying dynamics, I do like those stories when they’re well-written and taken seriously. For instance, this Dwalin/Nori fic by @thorinsmut features a genderfluid pirate captain and an identity porn romance during the Golden Age of Sail (https://archiveofourown.org/works/1861419) and it’s one of my all-time favorite fanfictions (content warnings for violence against animals, discussion of sexual assault, explicit sex, and a genderfluid character experiencing dysphoria). I tend to prefer always-a-different-sex fics, but I’ve also read a couple of a-wizard-did-it fics, like this Coulson/Hawkeye fic by amireal (https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173773) from back when I was into marvel (content warnings for internalized homophobia, explicit sex, and workplace harassment). I myself have had an idea for a while about a Hunger Games genderswap fic where, because 1 girl and 1 boy are always sent to the Games, Katniss can’t volunteer to go in his sister’s place, but he can volunteer to go in Peeta’s place because he plans to die to save Prim.

So, if we accept that gender essentialism treats children assumed to be girls and children assumed to be boys differently (which it does), I think that a transman!Eddie would have a slightly different experience growing up. Canon Eddie has a sort of glass closet going on and a lot of his childhood bullying is homophobic, and it’s implied that this is because he’s not performing masculinity to the expected level. Also Sonia’s abuse focuses on illness, injury, and contamination. She wants Eddie to be “safe” (goes into hysterics when he tries to get his feet scanned at a shoe-store because of the radiation), but she also wants him to be “clean” and “good to his mother.” Especially in the 90s miniseries and the Muschietti movies that take place in 1989 and 2016, a lot of that is coded to involve the AIDS epidemic, needles, and fears of transmission, which means that there’s an element of homophobia to Sonia’s influence. Also, Sonia canonically sex-shames Beverly, calling her “a dirty girl” and saying that she knows all about her, specifically singling her out of the whole group of Losers. There’s an element of sexual protection to her emotional abuse, as well as just a general unwillingness to let Eddie leave the house or get free of her control.

So if we reverse this dynamic and Eddie is a transboy, I think that the pressures he would experience would involve him not performing femininity correctly as a child, because he’s a boy. Eddie would still be very polite and somewhat soft-spoken and dreamy, and he’d be squeamish about bullies belching in his face and Richie playing in the sewers, just like he is in canon; but I think that his discomfort with his traditionally “feminine” responses would come from him instead of externally now. I’d have him lean harder into his traditionally “masculine” interests--cars and trains and other vehicles of getting away from his mother--and I’d have Sonia be even more aggressive towards Bill, Stan, and Richie, to the point of them not ever daring to enter the house the way they do in the 2017 movie because I think Sonia would be just as revolted by the idea of Eddie going around with a pack of boys as she is by Beverly in canon. I think that Sonia would be very invested in Eddie’s appearance, probably pressuring him about his hair and the way that he dressed, probably preferring him to wear skirts and nice clothes instead of things that he could wear to ride a bike or go running around in the Barrens in. I think that there would be a greater element of sexual shaming and body- and weight-policing to Sonia’s abuse, with elements of her wanting to protect Eddie’s “virtue” from “those dirty boys.” @pineapplecrushface wrote an always-women AU Nightingale (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979312) and while Richie and Eddie are women in this story so it’s not the trans Eddie fic you are looking for, I think that the mentions of Eddie’s childhood bedroom seems pretty accurate for the environment that he would grow up in if he were assigned female at birth--a pink canopy bed and looking for clothes that don’t make him “feel like a cupcake.”

Actually, I think that this might look a lot like Carrie. I know that other people have already talked about the similarities between Sonia Kaspbrak and Margaret White, but Margaret’s abuse tends to orient not just around control but also around sexual maturity and perceived virtue.

I don’t know when or to what degree Eddie would transition--I don’t know if he would take the opportunity to do it while Sonia was still living, though I believe he’d be financially stable enough to afford it very early on. It would all depend on how the writer wanted to handle Eddie’s adult life--is he married to Myra? Does Myra know that he’s trans? Do he and Myra have a sexual relationship? Does Eddie know that he’s attracted to men? Is Eddie out before he gets the call from Mike and goes to Derry? What kind of transition does he want to have, if any? There are so many things to consider and I think it would all depend on what kind of story the author wants to tell--for me, I’d probably write a story where Eddie happens to be trans, and I’ve read some good fic to that effect--Rapacious from the Very Start (https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853020) by InkandOwl (I tried to find their tumblr to tag them and couldn’t) is one of my favorites, though tbh when I read fic I’m looking for explicit sex and that seems to be the core of this series.

But yeah, I’d be down for trans Eddie fic. I think that there’s a lot to unpack there, from how Eddie’s “gazebos” confrontation with Sonia would take place because the primary issue there would not be the idea of keeping Eddie compliant and in the house as a mama’s boy, it would be the idea of keeping him locked in a tower like the witch in Rapunzel because Sonia keeps treating him like a princess; to the idea of needlephobia changing from a threat involving AIDS contamination to perhaps something empowering and self-authenticating like T injections. And Eddie’s such a well-rounded character anyway, I think that there’s a lot of room to dig into his bickering with Richie and his outward aggressiveness and see how much of that is stress and how much of that is the idea that masculinity never shows weak emotions and how much of that is Eddie is quick-witted and thinks arguing is fun. There are also several parallels between Georgie and Eddie, particularly in their relationship with Bill; I think that as a kid, Eddie would think that Big Bill is just the best role model in a real little-brother kinda way, and Sonia would be super threatened by that because she’s Eddie’s mother, Eddie’s supposed to want to be like her.

I think in general I’d be down for most trans fic, as long as it was well-written. In the book there’s an interesting passage from the perspective of Richie’s mother where she reflects on how much she wishes that she had a daughter, because she doesn’t understand Richie and Bill, and she’d feel more confident if she had a daughter she could do things with like baking cupcakes. And I think that a trans Bev would change the way that she experiences abuse from her father, who in the book prefers her to behave in a feminine way (stops being angry at her when he thinks she’s afraid of spiders, because “all girls are afraid of spiders”; becomes irate at the idea that Beverly is playing with boys; obsessive over her virginity) but would behave differently if he thought he had a son and that Bev was transgressing masculine rules.

Anyway! *hammers fist on desk* Bring me my all-trans Losers AU!

#transphobia #gender essentialism #gender roles #child abuse #emotional abuse #gendered violence

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years

Text

Unsolicited Book Reviews (n3): The Sunne in Splendour

Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️(+1/2?)

Even before I had an account, I tended to go to tumblr to see people’s opinions before buying a histfic. Certain books are either severely underrepresented, where I feel like there needs to be something on them, whereas others, though talked about enough, something more can still be said about them. So for my quarantine fun, I have decided to start a series where I review every medieval historical fiction novel I read. Hopefully, it will either start interesting discussions or at least be some help for those browsing its tag when considering purchasing it.

TL;DR: Keep in mind that I’m harsh with my ratings. I don’t expect my historical fiction to offer some sort of insight about the human condition or be some perfectly manicured prose, but this book’s biggest detriment was its lack of depth. Some scenes packed a serious emotional punch, but then again I am attached to this era and given the length, it would be insane not to. I learned a lot - no lie, but while my background knowledge on the wars of the roses has become enriched, I feel no closer to Richard.

Plot: We follow Richard III from a young boy at eight right before the catastrophe that was Ludlow to his death and a few years after. This story seems to be told through omniscient third person point of view, which creates issues when it comes to voice - a lot of the characters sound the same (John ‘Jack’ Howard, Francis Lovell, Richard Catesby to name a few). This is only a natural consequence of the sheer amount of people Penman chose to portray. I’m honestly still grateful for this as I was not a fan of Richard III’s POV, but really enjoyed Richard Neville Earl of Warwick’s, Margaret of Anjou and Cecily Neville’s. Everytime these three were the center of the chapter, it was truly enjoyable and multi-faceted which comes to show that Penman is capable of writing complexity when she wants to. I would also like to add that the author’s knowledge of medieval life (e.g. the food, the dogs, the nature of battles) was a high point of this novel and did something to counter-balance the rampant late 20th century flavour in this novel. She tries way too hard to adapt a medieval man such as Richard to our modern values to propagate her Richardian Agenda, which ultimately underscored this.

It must be said though that the author clearly did her research as most of what she said regarding minutae such as: what day of the week it was, where the characters were at one time, details of documents, who did what in which battle, what laws were passed etc... I had just come back to this time period after some years and I thought I knew all there was to know, yet, here comes this book which springboarded me into a wealth of new research - I suppose I am grateful for that. However, do not let that delude you into thinking it is comprehensive. There were historical innacuracies which I can only guess were intentionally made for the sake of the author’s Richardian goal e.g. Anne Neville being forced into her marital duties when historicalMargaret of Anjou made it clear that there would be no consummation until Warwick would prevail at Barnet, Isabel Neville being ‘abandoned’ by her husband in France when really it was only about 4 months they were apart and it would have made no sense for Isabel to sail with an invasionary force, Richard III abolishing benevolence tax because he thought it unfair as opposed to the reality which was that he had failed in his initial attempt to raise them because the population opposed, Richard III allowing the marriage between Jane Shore and Thomas Lynsom when in reality he had initially opposed it... Historical fiction is entitled to innacuracies but given that the author made it clear in her afterword that the only time she strayed was setting a scene in Windsor as opposed to Westminster, it is dishonest to conceal the aforementioned blips, especially when they are so unobvious that it would take a seasoned enthusiast to spot them. As you can tell they either do have a negative bearing on Richard’s image as a saint or show detractors in a positive light, clearly neither that which she was in a mood to explain away.

Characterisation: I can not stress enough how well Cecily Neville was portrayed, every scene she was in, I felt. She tends to be a very difficult character to get because of the whole illegitimacy rumour which casts shades of doubt. She was proud but also pious, subservient but also commanding... just an incredible woman of gravity. I enjoyed Warwick in all his flamboyancy as well and Edward IV was masterfully portrayed as the intelligent but forgiving man that he was. You could clearly see how despite his indulgent character, he knew when it was time to be serious, it was a joy to read the scenes where he strikes people into subserviancy. Anne Beauchamp was also quite a treat for the little time we had with her.

There were also some portrayals of mixed quality: George Duke of Clarence for one, his warped sense of humour and charm were well presented, his unpredictability adequately captured. The issue I have though is that no man is unpredictable to themselves and while it may make sense for other characters to see his temperaments as those like a weather vane it would make no sense for it to be this way in the chapters where he is the POV. Penman’s basically wrote him off as crazy (I mean literally mad) for the majority of the story which is utter tripe given that the whole madness angle is a modern invention. I won’t write more on this now as it deserves its own post (btw if anyone wants me to elaborate on anything I said so far send me an ask). Last thing I will say though: the last scene we have with him is utterly tragic and still sticks with me today, honestly the best writing in this novel was during the ‘Anne’ Book and ‘Protector of the North’ in the years surrounding George’s death. Speaking of, where do I begin with Isabel Neville and Elizabeth Woodville? Their marriages with Richard’s brothers are portrayed negatively for no other reason than to set up Richard and Anne Neville as a perfect love story. This story-telling technique is cheap as hell and I did not expect to find it in a novel so highly acclaimed for its ‘quality’. Let me make this clear: The marriage which was hailed as a love match at that time was that of Elizabeth Woodville and Edward IV. Anne and Richard could have been just as much a marriage of politics as George and Isabel’s, or the latter’s just as much a love match. George fought for Isabel just as much, if not more than Richard did for Anne, George stayed loyal for a surety whereas Richard’s bastard John’s conception may have coincided with his marriage according to Hicks, Marrying Anne was highly advantageous for Richard as marrying Isabel for George... I could go on. Therefore, why is Isabel constantly described as wretched, miserable and at one point abused(!) by her husband whereas Richard was nothing but gentle to the happy Anne. The Mary of Burgundy proposal story is often cited as proof that George only cared about power... but what about Richard’s proposal to Joanna of Portugal one month after Anne died? This may sound minor but it’s a perfect example of the author trying hard to make Richard a modern romantic figure which he wasn’t. I think he may have loved Anne Neville, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a medieval king and made marriage provisions after her death to secure the succession. For a 800+ page novel about Richard III some seminal pieces of information were left out such as his seizure of the aged Dowager Countess of Oxford’s Howard fortune, the mysterious circumstances in which George Neville Duke of Bedford died young and unmarried after becoming his ward. All in all, do not let the wonderful historical detail fool you into thinking this is a complete account of Richard III’s day to day life.

Don’t even get me started on the Woodvilles... They were all treacherous villains and social climbers who belonged in hell. EVEN ANTHONY WOODVILLE - what has he ever done to Penman or anyone? All scenes with Elizabeth Woodville at the beggining were bedding scenes pretty much, which shows that the author saw her as nothing more than a heartless seductress. There was even a point where Edward in his rage said: ‘you would lie with a leper if it meant you becoming Queen’ and I was just shocked at that. I was further shocked when her daughter Elizabeth of York was musing that if her mother had been a good wife her father wouldn’t have needed to stray and I was just like... ‘I thought we were trying to be sensible in this book 0_0’ - How is it appropriate to have a woman blamed for her husband’s infidelity? How can we have such blatant classism and sexism on the one hand and late 20th century wokeness on the other? It’s what I said earlier, the author can’t prop up Richard and Anne without putting down all other couples in this book. By the end of the book I was honestly finding myself cheering for Elizabeth Woodville as she was becoming the woman with sense and cunning as we all know her, the saving grace of this entire characterisation was that Elizabeth became the only person with a brain by the end (I doubt this was the author’s intention). Down here in this category of bad characterisation I will add Richard and Anne themselves. Anne Neville though often absolutely adorable to me lacked any personality trait apart from being in love with Richard and past sexual abuse by Edward (which didn’t historically happen). Anne’s father and only sister die and she barely thinks about them, which severely undermines her portrayal as a loving and empathetic person. Her death scene and wane was tragic and affected me as a reader but holy Christ before that the author was very heavy handed throughout the book with her martyrisation of Anne, even when she was a young girl and everything was going well she cried in nearly every goddamn scene. Yes, this is Warwick’s daughter we are talking about. Richard (unlike the real great man that once lived on this earth) was similarly flawless and any small flaw he had was something like: ‘too trusting’, ‘acts then thinks’ - essentially ‘too good for this world’ flaws. No one is like this, least of all the real Richard who would not recognise this weird contrived romanticisation of a man. The saving grace of all this is that he admitted around the end to himself and Anne that he did want to be king a little bit, which YES, at least we get that because no one goes through all the procedures he did and endangers the survival of their house, unless they wanted to become king, at least a little bit. All in all, if Penman’s Richard III is the real man, all I have to say is: thank god his reign was cut short because this character would have made a terrible and weak monarch.

Prose: And here is where another of the stars was deducted. The prose is largely very pedestrian. It was full of modern phrases such as ‘hear me out’, ‘He thinks I am in the wrong’ ‘he can’t get away with this’ and other such likes. Also, I know it’s difficult to write a book where everyone’s names are Elizabeth, Edward, Richard and Anne, but apart from ‘Nan’ which was a nickname of that time, the modernity of ‘Bess’, ‘Bella’ or ‘Lisbet’ and the use of them in-text and not just dialogue, did much to draw me out of the medieval era. This is not just a criticism towards Penman but a grand majority of historical fiction novelists of this period. Having said that, her choice to cut conjunctions and use the word ‘be’ intead of ‘is’ or ‘are’ did not bother me at all and I found it effective in dating the language a bit. I appreciate that writing in poetic prose for 800+ pages is extremely difficult, but other’s have done it. And even in other novel where that’s not the case, the writing is still profound and impactful and conveys a deeper meaning, whereas here it’s more of a fictionalised history book. The author appears to have some imagination as the few scenes she made up e.g. Catherine Woodville’s visit to Richard or Edward summoning Edmund’s previous carer John to talk about Edmund as he was trying to deal with the grief of losing George, any scene with Cecily Neville in it, Anne Neville and Veronique (OC lady-in-waiting to her) when they were in hiding, Rosamund and Richard at the end, Margaret of Anjou when she was lodged at that abbey, When Stillington visited George before his death to give him a rosary and last rites and he refused to get them from him, Anne and Richard going to Middleham and Isabel’s lying in state were just some of them. However, even if you took all those well-written scenes and stuck them together they would not be more than maybe 150 pages which is not good in such a massive novel. I really don’t know how I would rank the prose, I feel weird saying it’s at the low bestseller level because at least it’s not overwritten and annoying, however, it lacked a lot of soul most of the time, which is dissapointing given what Penman had to work with. I can see that the author has some strengths, for example she’s good at writing about the weather and the natural landscape, she’s also good at describing facial expressions. But her massive flaw is dialogue and flow - especially the latter. The flow is hindered by her abject inability to weave historical events and their happenings into the prose, so she often settles for an exposition dump, especially when it comes to some male chatacter’s POV such as John Howard, Francis Lovell or Buckingham. A lot of the characters exposited at each other too, which wasted the opportunity for some serious character profiles. Basically too much telling and not enough showing. In conclusion, It didn’t always feel clunky, expository or laboured, but it way too often did for the good to be redeemed by the bad prose-wise.

In Conclusion, I cheated on this book a couple of times when it dragged, but got right back into it whenever the good sections came along. It is one of these books which people cannot stop raving about and I can’t stress how much I wanted to love it when I got it. It’s nice being a fan of something a lot of people are too for once, but it was just not to be. But at least now I can say I have read the cult classic of this histfic niche which apparently everyone has read and cried over. Even though it took me 7 months where others got through it in a week through sleepless nights. Despite all the negativity in this review, I would still reccomend it as it is a solid book and written by someone who clearly gets the conflict and time period. You will learn lots with this book (I intend to keep it as a sort of timeline) regarding things that you might otherwise find too dry to research in depth e.g. battle strategies and sieges. But what you will not learn about is the characters’ psychologies and personalities though Penman tries very hard and heavy-handedly to exposit their feelings to us.

#lady-plantagenet’s book reviews #the sunne in splendour #sharon kay penman #Richard III #if anyone disagrees or agrees i’d love to know your opinion #just send me an ask #historical fiction #Anne Neville #George of Clarence #Edward IV #Elizabeth Woodville #House of York

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haberdashing · 4 years

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Daughter of Dogs

Original work, though loosely inspired by a tumblr post I saw some time ago, but couldn’t find.

Rani, a trans girl from a family where all women bear the same curse, wonders if the curse will affect her as the time for it to begin draws near.

Written as part of @badthingshappenbingo for the trope “Painful Transformation”; my current bingo card will be posted at the end of the fic, below the cut.

also on AO3

Every woman in Rani’s family bears the same curse, and has for generations: on the first full moon after their thirteenth birthday, they are magically transformed into a dog, only to turn human again on the next full moon after that, switching forms between dog and human a month at a time from that point onward.

The original cause of the curse is a keystone of family legend; the story goes that Rani’s great-great-grandmother hunted down and killed a witch who was tormenting nearby villages, the witch cursing her and all women of her bloodline with her dying breath, though the exact details of the encounter vary depending on who’s telling the story this time around.

It’s not a terribly pleasant curse--what curse is?--but the family’s banded together to help those afflicted with it, to lessen the burden caused by the transformations it causes. The family has various tricks and tips prepared for dealing with housemates who are only human half of the time, but the biggest thing is the ceremony held for girls who are about to transform for the first time. All relatives connected by the curse, no matter how distant, make a point of coming together to celebrate the girl who will confront the curse for the first time. It’s a giant party, a coming-of-age experience, turning the beginning of a curse into an excuse to unite far-flung family members and make the best of a tricky situation.

It’s been three weeks since Rani’s thirteenth birthday, and the full moon is due to rise tonight. Normally, the ceremony would be in full swing by now, she’d be surrounded by relatives both near and far, watching her cousins run around and play games as she wore a fancy dress made specially for the occasion.

There’s just one problem: Rani’s family doesn’t know she’s a girl.

They’d assumed she was a boy at birth, and so had she for some years, before she connected the dots and realized that regardless of her body, she wanted to be a girl, so she was a girl. She’d talked with a few school friends about it, and they’d helped her figure it all out, even helped her pick out a new name for herself, but she’d never told any of her relatives about it, unsure what their reaction would be, whether they’d accept her as she truly was.

So there were no festivities tonight, no celebration, no fancy dresses, no huge family gathering waiting for the magic moment to arrive. Instead there was only Rani, Rani waiting in her room as the minutes and hours dragged on, staring out the window as she considered her situation.

She wasn’t sure what the family curse would think of her. She knew she was a girl, no matter what others might think, but would a curse that went several generations back agree with her, or would it overlook her because of her body--a body that she would gladly trade in for a more feminine one, curse and all?

Would she spend the night waiting for something that would never happen, the morning sun confirming that she would never be truly seen as a woman by those closest to her, or would her family--her immediate family, anyway, the ones that were by her side even without a big family gathering--find out about her true identity overnight, without her having a say in the matter?

Rani wasn’t sure which would be better, truth be told.

She watched the sky darken bit by bit as the sun finished setting, the change slow and almost imperceptible if you weren’t watching it with an eye as careful as Rani’s was that night. But it wasn’t the darkness she was waiting for, exactly, it was the moon rising to break up that darkness...

Finally, as the first stars began to twinkle in the night sky, Rani saw what she was waiting for: the light of the full moon rising above the horizon.

She half-thought that she was imagining her reaction at first. It started with just a queasiness in her stomach and a vague tingling across all of her body, both of which could easily be chalked up to nerves or her imagination.

Soon, though, it became clear that what was happening was more than a mere trick of her imagination.

Her vision, her hearing, all of her senses warped almost beyond recognition. Rani could feel her body being pushed and pulled in a million different directions, her limbs seemingly torn apart piece by piece and then sewn back together by someone who’d only learned to sew the week before. The pain was overwhelming, and every other injury she’d ever had (including the broken bones from that time she’d tried jumping off the roof with a blanket as a cape thinking that she’d be able to fly) paled in comparison. It was hard to focus, but as Rani struggled to put the pieces together, her mind kept floating back to the same thought--why did nobody ever mention how agonizing this process was?

And then, just as quickly as it was begun, the pushing and pulling and tearing and sewing ceased, the pain receded, and everything was back to normal... well, almost normal, anyway.

Rani was still in her room, but the colors were off, and scents that she had barely noticed before were clear as day now, and the ground was closer to her now--no, she was closer to the ground now. The floor felt oddly soft, too; Rani looked down to see why and saw that she was standing on a pile of clothes, the same clothes that she had been wearing only moments earlier.

She saw more than just that in that quick glance, though, and Rani ran over to the full-length mirror in her room, stumbling over her own feet along the way.

In the reflection Rani saw a dog, one with ears a bit too big for her head and fluffy chestnut fur a few shades lighter than her skin was normally and a long bushy tail that, as she stared into the mirror, began to wag.

Things weren’t going to be smooth sailing from here on out, Rani knew. For one thing, she’d have to go through that same transformation, that same agonizing and overwhelming pain, during every full moon from now on. For another thing, having her family entering her room and finding her as a dog rather than a human was sure to be the start of an awkward and difficult conversation.

But just the same, Rani knew that in this, she had solid proof that despite certain quirks of her body, she was a real girl through and through.

#personal #my writing #bad things happen bingo #badthingshappenbingo #bth bingo

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thesunnyshow · 4 years

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Name: Leo

Writing Blog URL(s): @hereisleo

What fandom(s) do you write for?: I write for ATEEZ, VICTON and ONEUS.

Age: ‘99 liner

Nationality: Indonesian

Languages: Indonesian, English, Japanese and a sprinkle of Korean.

Star Sign: Leo

MBTI: INFP-A

Favorite color: Neutral but mostly black! (Other than neutral colours, I’m partial to blue, dark green and red).

Favorite food: Indonesian and Japanese cuisine! The taste of home!

Favorite movie: Resident Evil franchise.

Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla.

Favorite animal: Owl ever since I was a small child.

Go-to karaoke song: None. I don’t enjoy karaoke.

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?

Both! Recently, I’ve been ordering black coffee again whenever I stop by a cafe.

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)

I’m interested in a lot of fields of work, it used to be Red Cross worker, paramedic and flight attendant. Now it’s barista-bartender. It’ll likely change in the future too.

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?

Teleportation, let’s travel the world!

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?

The Golden Age of Piracy! I want to sail! And such freedom to spite against governmental standards.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?

Without a doubt, yes. I’m always down for changes and new adventures.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?

Holy moly… 100 chicken-sized horses...

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?

The quiet smarty one at the back of the class. Common? Yes. But it’s true.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?

This universe is too big to be only occupied by humans.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?

Badminton is my favourite sport!

When did you post your first piece?

June 2019!

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?

I always love writing so I wanted to share my creations and see how they fare in the world instead of keeping them for myself.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?

I mostly write platonic relationships, fluff, slice of life, romance, comfort and a lot of AUs. It’s what I’m comfortable with and thrive in best! I do enjoy writing mystery, crime/murder and angst once in a while. Gotta let the dark side out too.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

Usually, it’s either member centric and or ‘X reader/ + Reader’, it’s not always romance when reader insert is involved :)

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

Definitely friendship and slice of life! AU wise, I’m a sucker for the supernatural side: demons, angels, mythical creatures and mythology, they are all right up my alley. I also enjoyed writing crime AU and anything dark, nothing like unleashing the inner criminal legally through words… and occasionally being questioned, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

Tropes I love, I’m a sucker for friendship/platonic, slow-burn enemies to lovers, the cafe/bar occupation, single parent, the demon is suddenly your guardian angel, the breakup and the crime syndicate dynamics. Tropes I can’t stand on the other hand aren’t much, I don't actively read a/b/o dynamics, Hogwarts, hybrids and werewolf/vampire. It’s mostly AUs now that I listed them.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?

Oh this is tough. I think it would have to be ATEEZ: ‘Supernatural Activities’ series. I’m proud of how ‘Dante’s Inferno’ & ‘Angels in the Streets’ turned out and they are well received too.

Who is your favorite person to write about?

Song Mingi of ATEEZ. Somehow writing about him always seems personal. Maybe it’s the similarities we carry. It seems like a lot of the time, the bias is the one who is most similar to us.

What inspires you to write?

Simply the need to escape reality and it’s an outlet to expel excess emotions I carry sometimes. All is well in the mind after I write and sleep.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

I hope it provides you an escape for a brief moment, I hope it makes you happy. I hope you could enjoy the world with a touch more romanticism, we are all a part of the aesthetic we see in the media and more. Sure it’s a tough world but there are good in it too.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

I take a break. It’s no use for me to push on when I hit a rough patch. I’ll read and do everything else except writing. It rarely happens as I’m constantly full of ideas, it’s the lack of motivation that keeps me from creating.

What do you think makes a good story?

To be honest, if I enjoyed it, it’s good. I’m a simple person with simple pleasures.

What is your writing process like?

Messy 😂 There’s no getting around it. I would rewrite a paragraph three times if I don’t like it, delete a thousand words, scrap a different story to incorporate it into another. I don’t always start from the beginning either. A writing piece could take anywhere within several minutes, a few hours to days, weeks and months. It all depends on my motivation and how busy work is keeping me from writing. (Psst, it’s mostly the former).

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?

Yes. Writing in the fanfiction world, more often than not, we are already given much of the relationship dynamics and setting. (Unless it’s AU then that's a whole different animal, it might as well be an original prose). In original prose, we have to weave most, if not all, of the world and characters building… I hope I understood the question right...

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

Maybe. It’s usually the other way around. I have thoughts to repurpose an abandoned original story for a fic series. Highly unlikely that I’ll actually do it.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?

A lot! Please! It’s the biggest motivation for us content creators to keep creating! You have no idea how fast my hand reaches for my phone every time tumblr notifications pop up, hoping for a reblog and comments in the tags.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

My mutuals reblogging my works. They’re exposed to new eyes and the readers, on the other hand, find a new blog.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

Yes. Fanfic writers are as important to the fandom community as the rest of the content creators are.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

Absolutely. Art is a fantastic gateway to many things.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

Only when I decided to take requests which happens like once a year and maybe even less.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?

No, I don’t think so. No one has asked me to clarify any of my writings. One anon used to send me asks about world expansion and said anon turned into a dear friend.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

NOPE. DON'T LET THEM KNOW. I WON’T LET THEM KNOW. NEVER. Leave my virtual writing world be. *puts ‘do not cross’ yellow tape all over*

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

Please leave me some feedback, even keyboard smashes are fine, I can translate those. Don’t be shy to leave me asks if you want to chat, ramble, or get something off your chest. This is a safe place for you, an escape from reality.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

Don’t be afraid. As hellish this platform is, it'll help you grow in the writing department. I know this is not the best advice but you have to try to see the result.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?

I don’t think so. There were moments of “Why do I even bother?” but it happens and will happen again in the future but no regrets.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?

I do! Most of the ones who were there from the beginning aren’t there anymore but it’s alright. Their lives outside of Tumblr are always more important than anything else. I don’t have to heart to unfollow their pages. My current handful of mutuals are an amazing bunch too! The sheer talent and creativity they possessed are out of this world. I love seeing their posts outside of the writing world, their personalities shine through and my heart feels fuzzy whenever I see it. Though I don’t interact often with most of them, I adore them all and consider them good friends.

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

Since we, writers, create in order to find escape and or brush up our skills or simply for the sake of creating. As we broaden our skill sets, “Necessity is the mother of invention. Failure is the mother of success.” Common, I know, but it’s comforting to know that failure can be a motivation to do better. Don’t stay down, always rise again.

BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

#@hereisleo #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 28 #ateez #victon #oneus

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