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avaritia-ffxiv · 2 years

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We (the FC I joined w/ Ash and moved Saahe to) continued extremes on Saturday, and cleared Garuda, Titan, and Ifrit again for a few people who weren’t there the last time, and after that beat up Leviathan, Ramuh and Shiva for good measure.

So now I’ve done extremes synced, for the second time with the first three, and for the first time with Levi, Ramuh and Shiva. Not touching Thornmarch though. Was fun! Ramuh had to be my favorite, Shiva least favorite ‘cause I had no idea what was happening in that fight and just died repeatedly.

I was tank for the whole duration too, my co-tank changed once ‘cause the one I tanked the first three with didn’t have access to Ramuh and Shiva. ‘Cuz sprouts. Like, I had to switch from Ash to Saahe for the same reason, I just hadn’t gotten that far in the MSQ with Ash. He reached Ishgard today though, while I spent seven hours in VC with another FC member.

Idk what got into me but I had a good time??? We didn’t chat nonstop, obviously, but there was plenty of nice chatter and I was able to answer some game related questions from them (they’ve played for like five days).

And a few days ago there were a few people on VC, just hanging out, and I joined in on that too.

I cannot begin to express how out of character this kind of behavior is for me.

#i've always considered myself an introvert #my therapist very soon after i started therapy disagreed with that assessment #in her opinion i'm an ambivert #and i'm starting to think she might be right 'cause the socialization hasn't unduly tired me out?#but the trick is that anything irl WILL be hell for me and i hate people contact in person #but when we're talking about online people it's like yeah #i tend to spend all of my waking hours talking with someone #usually via text but apparently voice works too #and i get lonely fast if i don't have anyone online to talk to #contrast that to not remembering when was the last time i WANTED to interact with someone irl #i do force myself to do it pretty often #but i just don't feel the need for it #i'm a physical hermit but digital people person i guess #like you know that ''i didn't feel like going but i'm glad i went anyway'' you get sometimes?#i don't get that with irl things #period #i'll always regret social obligations 'cause they're never as good as what i could be doing instead #it's an eternal string of ''why did i agree to that''#anyway don't mind me #ooc

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neonpigeons · 2 years

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lol I may have bipolar disorder. lmao. lol. lmfao.

#overlapping symptoms with my other diagnoses has kept me away from thinking about it #but the hypomanic episodes over the last year followed by prolonged major depressive episodes... whew #maybe I'll talk to my doctor? idk im already on so many meds #also reading the causes list i was like.#yeah i have ADHD. yeah i have anxiety. yeah i have disordered eating. yeah im overweight. yeah i have thyroid problems.#yeah I've experienced periods of high stress + traumatic events #yeah my mood swings have been extreme #im literally sick to fucking death of this shitty brain and body 🤪#ari speaks #delete later

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apocalypticdemon · 1 month

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excedrin my beloved

#love it when excedrin works. it actually did its job today #yay #i really gotta find a primary care physician and figure this shit out i am so tired of migraines #turns out i've been having them since i was like 16 or 18. sometime in high school #only found out what they were last year. rancid.#i would like to talk about preventatives bc. i get like 4-6 a month on average. sometimes more. sometimes less.#but i can bargain on at least 2 while i'm on my period/my bye week for my birth control #and at least 1 about 2 weeks later. not fun #this one came out of nowhere i was literally fine all day and then within 20 minutes everything sucked #but the excedrin kicked in after about 30 minutes too so. i'm good now.#even though uhhhhhhhhh now i am caffienated at 10:30 PM and don't know if i'll be able to sleep tonight #like all around it's just deeply unpleasant and i need to figure out what to do about it

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quatregats · 1 month

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Having a field day with Ellis's (1889) Existing Phonology of English Dialects discussion of Cockney, I have absolutely no experience with historical English dialectology and therefore I cannot judge the accuracy of his data, but the comments that he's collected are fascinating nonetheless:

[Image Transcription:

§ 2. Walker (1792-1807) and Smart (1836) on London Speech.

These two well-known authors of Pronouncing Dictionaries have each given a section on Cockney Pronunciation. I quote Walker from the stereotype edition of 1814. He enumerates four faults only. 1) postes, fistes, mistes, etc., for posts, fists, mists [mentioned in § 3 under P, p. 228]; 2) interchange of v, w as weal, winegar, vine, vind, for veal, vinegar, wine, wind, the two latter are spoken of as common; 3) not sounding h after w to distinguish while wile, whet wet, where were [now firmly rooted even in educated speech]; 4) interchange of h as art, harm, for heart, arm. There is no hint at pronouncing ā, ō as ī, ow.

Smart in his Hints to Cockney Speakers finds it almost unnecessary to remark on the interchange of v, w. But notes wōōld cōōld shōōld, would could should, [now never heard]; chick'n, Lat'n, nov'l, parc'l, but swivel, heaven, evil, devil, [the last of which is scarcely heard now but in the pulpit]. Other errors he notes as arethmatic, charecter, writin', readin', spīle sīle, for spoil soil, toosday, dooty, perput-rate, affinut-y, providunce, edecation; boa'rd fo'm co'd for board form cord, lawr, sawr, 'and, 'eart, honour, honest. There is no hint of sounding ā, ō as ī, ow. But he says that the ā of "a well-educated Londoner...finishes more slenderly than it begins, tapering, so to speak, towards the sound of e" (ii); and that ō "in a Londoner's mouth is not quite simple...finishing almost as oo in too." These are the ee'j, oo'w of rec. sp. which are quite different from the ī, ow sounds.

/End Transcription]

Also, and I'll just link the page scan (hopefully it works if you don't have a university library login? it's in public domain) of notes from Lackington's 1817 list of London mispronunciations but there's the glorious note on "leeftenant pronounced levtenant [leftenant, now usual]", which really makes you think. Anyways, I just find the historical evolution of Cockney really interesting, because it's an accent that has a very clear stereotyped version for lots of English speakers today, but a lot of those features came about in the mid-to-late 19th century, and it's fascinating to think that what was a defining feature of the dialect (like the interchange of w/v) has just completely disappeared off the map, while the distinct vowels were just not a thing at all. Really goes to show how fast spoken language evolves, especially outside of the standard, and we love to see it <3

#i should be in class and not going down another rabbit hole but by jove you can't stop me #'i have no background in this' i say in the voice of a guy who has a linguistics degree #and also literally talked about some of these very guys in one of my classes because my advisor did a thing with them #i mostly just mean that i'm not extremely well versed in the historical context and as such can't evaluate the source #i'm just continuously fascinated by patrick o'brian's ability to capture speech patterns which i've never heard #and i'm trying to figure out if they're historical or just english/british or some combination of both #you will note that killick has the w/v switch ('wittles is up')#i would just really like to pick mr. pob's brain about where he got his speech patterns from but since he's not around i'll do it myself #i suspect it was from reading a lot of period sources but alas i don't have time for that :(#anyways now anytime you read a book set in the age of sail you have to imagine them saying it leeftenant! have fun :D #adventures in historical sociolinguistics #perce rambles #also funnily enough i had a student last year who would say /tɛstɨz/ for 'tests'#but i suspect that it was not because they were reviving late-18th c. cockney speech #i do wonder where they got it from though. like i guess it makes sense linguistically it's just no one else was doing it

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nowhere302 · 5 months

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period underwear is so awesome. it's like if a pad actually stayed in place and didn't hurt my thighs with scratchy cotton

#🎤 mic check #i switched to tampons and can never go back but i sleep for more than 8 hours so i can't wear them to bed or i'll die #sorry for talking about being on my period so much. hormone issues are making it last several weeks again lol

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witchwhaat · 1 year

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i'm already at my limit and it's only march

#there's a longer version of this post in my drafts but i'll spare you all lol #anyway. not feeling well would love to cry my eyes out ngl #and fr it's already march it's only march and i feel like this year is testing me #like hmmmm what will be her last straw #will she drop out? will she move out without thinkig about consequences? will she look for a better job?#will nothing change or will everything change? LET'S FIND OUT #im so dramatic jesus christ #hope everyone is having a better day than me lol #it's my first day off in a while maybe that's bc of it #or maybe bc my period should start soon #or maybe bc [redacted] was mean to me lol #agnes talking #neg #sorry i really needed to vent or i'll literally losse my mind #will go for a walk in a moment and maybe i'll calm down

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ankylosaurusthesaurus · 1 year

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there’s no way toh is three years old there’s no way i’ve been watching toh for three years there’s no way i’ve actually been committed to a piece of media at such a high level for three entire years

#usually when i like something i'm obsessed with it and it's all i can talk about for a month and then it starts to fade #always been so incredibly obsessed with toh tho #then again most of my long lasting interests aren't really pop culture related at all #idk and a lot of my interests it like fades but i still like it and appreciate it #and i'll periodically become obsessed with it again and then it'll go away again #i can't believe toh has managed to captivate me for three entire years #that's very insane

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predestinatos · 1 month

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you mean everything - MV1 ೀ⋆｡🌷

summary: max needed a wedding date and you were used to being his fake partner.

tags: max verstappen x fem!reader, fake dating, friends to lovers, max is so whipped, fluff, a bit angsty maybe?, mentions of alcohol

word count: 2k

notes: i've been writing (and thinking) so much about max... my period is coming please give me a break i'm sensitive. also would love to get some feedback if possible so i know if it's worth making a series out of this!!!!

"If you want to make it believable at least hold my hand" you half-whispered to Max, who was buttoning his blazer while getting out of the car, you behind him.

"Sorry, I'm not used to this with you" he said chuckling. His sweaty palm held yours tightly, and the feeling of it was odd. Knowing Max for so long meant that these romantic gestures felt almost cringeworthy to you both, and you both had to put up award winning performances every time you played this game.

The game in question being fake-dating. It started as a funny joke where you both thought it would be great to test out the Get A Champagne Bottle For Free At This Restaurant If You Propose theory (which worked, by the way). From then onwards, you used each other as dates whenever asked by annoying family members, creepy coworkers, or just because you felt like lying.

The talking wasn't hard - you both felt comfortable in that part, lying with words coming off almost dangerously natural - but when it came to acting the part, both of you felt awkward, like kids who found relationships absolutely repulsive.

This time, though, the performance would last longer than usual: it was a wedding. Max's friend's wedding. Max could've just gone along, or bring a friend (even you as a friend). Yet he had told his friend, after one too many shots on his Bachelor's Party, and after being chosen as The Guy Who'll Take the Longest to Settle, that he had, in fact, a girlfriend. His friends didn't believe him, so he showed a picture of you two together - a selfie really, nothing much. And they still said they didn't believe it. So here you are.

You couldn't blame him, even if you wanted to. You agreed to use each other as a fake partner for as long as you could in as many situations as required, although when it all started none of you ever thought it would lead to wedding attendances.

So now there you were, Max's hand on yours, entering the small church. His eyes locked with the groom, who waved and called for you to sit near the altar.

"So you ARE real" he said, nervousness laced in his voice even as he tried to lighten the mood himself. You giggled at the irony of it, nodding as you said your congratulations.

"Just wait until the guys see this" he continued gesturing towards the bench where 3 other men around his age sat. Men you had seen before in some Instagram pictures, men you spent the previous night trying to memorize basic information about so you didn't sound suspicious.

Max's hand now fell on your waist almost instinctively - it wasn't instinctively, he told himself once he noticed its positioning. And if it was, it was only because he took this so seriously, almost as a sort of method acting. Sitting down next to his friends, he noticed how all of them seemed surprised at your presence, and something like pride filled his chest. He loved winning, loved being right even if he was lying; but most especially, he loved how jealous other men seemed to be over the fact that he was (at least in their minds) dating you.

He couldn't deny - though he tried, really - that you two looked good together. His rougher features mixed with your softer ones gave you both an aura of near unreachability, which yes, was pretentious of him to think but he thought nevertheless.

The ceremony was quick and endearing, a smile spread across everyone's faces at the shared loved between the bride and the groom. As the crowd clapped, Max leaned into you, "don't tell me you're crying". "I am, just to think that I'll have to keep pretending to date YOU for the next 10 hours" you replied, his mocking smile recognizing the joke.

The reception hall was beautifully decorated with shades of soft green and violet orchids. Max tried not to think about how much it matched the shade of your dress, how you looked like you had come to life from a classical novel. He tried to feel like anyone but Mr. Darcy as you felt so much like Elisabeth Bennett to him.

Sitting down next to him, you found this part easier - mingling and socializing was something you enjoyed more than he did - especially with alcohol in the mix. It's a wedding, you thought; this is what weddings are for.

So you drank the wine with the main course and sipper champagne to celebrate and ordered a few cocktails when it was time to dance and talk - and you felt it on your body almost as much as you felt Max's hand occasionally sitting on your thigh, but not even close to how strongly you felt his thumb caress your skin as he did so. Truth was, he too was drunk; his eyes looked smaller and his cheeks were flushed, and the amount of times he ran a hair through his dirty blonde hair had caused it to look messier. As you looked at him, you felt he never looks as attractive as when he is like this - loose and carefree, his shirt sleeves rolled up and a smile on his face when he notices people laugh at his joke.

"I have to admit I didn't think it was true" his friend said when Max left to go to the bathroom. He looked drunker than the two of you combined, his words hard to decypher, like a riddle. "He's been talking about you for months now and we never saw you for real so we thought you didn't exist" he laughed, and you laughed back before it registered.

"Months?" you asked him, eyebrows furrowed yet attempting to remain composed. You shouldn't have asked it - a supposedly month old girlfriend wouldn't be surprised but you were his fake month old girlfriend and you weren't understanding it anymore.

"Yeah. He talks about you so much all the time I think even we started to date you" he laughed again, yet this time you didn't find the joke so funny. You were frozen in your seat, merely blinking as if trying to put the confusing puzzle together, the pieces not quite fitting the way you thought they would.

A touch on your shoulder unfroze you, almost like magic, like a disney film come to life. You turned around to find the groom, somewhat sober, smiling at you while also looking somewhat concerned. "He's calling for you... And he's also absolutely wasted" he said, pointing to the door of the hall.

"Shit" you cursed, getting up from your seat at a speed you couldn't believe, worry filling your heart, making you forget the conversation you were just having.

Opening the door to the garden outside, you found Max sitting down against the wall, shirt partly unbuttoned and disheveled hair. When he saw you, he grinned, such genuine happiness laced with tipsiness.

"Lightweight" you mocked as you crouched in front of him, trying to balance yourself on your heels, somehow managing it despite your own drunkness.

"You're laughing at my mis- Shit- my misery" his throat bobbed up and down, exaggerating his own agony with a hand on his chest and another on his forehead like a Shakespeare character.

"I have to admit it's quite fun sometimes" you bit your lip as you fixed his hair as best as you could, hands brushing through its soft, blonde mess.

"You're so– you're so sweet" he said, his words dragged and messy. He brought a beer bottle to his lips but you stopped him before any liquid touched them.

"I think that's enough of that for tonight" you grabbed it and placed it behind you, sitting in front of him.

"See now... Now you're being mean" his hand grabbed a strand of your hair and played with it softly as he pouted.

"Okay big boy I'm gonna get you some water" you say, getting up once again, yet his hand stops you, grabbing your wrist tightly.

You looked at him, startled. His drunken state is visible, and it felt frustrating that you had to be the one sobering up for him. The music vibrated through the wall he leaned against, somehow tickling him, making him giggle.

"Stay," he managed to say, eyes half closed, "I'm so glad we're- Fuck things are spinning so much" his hands rushed to his eyes and his head hung low, "Ah fuck. I'm so glad we're datin- Fuck, no, oops-" he continued laughing despite how sick he felt, the whole situation sounding hilarious when filtered through alcohol.

You giggled along with him, mostly because you wanted to see if you could convince him to move, scared he might feel worse or pass out on the cold floor if he doesn't do so. "Fake dating. Fake dating, I know. I knowww" he continued, his words dragged and his finger pointing at you before poking your nose with such innocent sweetness you were taken aback.

"Max" you tried to sound more assertive but found it hard to do so, your own intoxicated state making the situation lighter than what it actually was. Your heart racing was a symptom of it, one you wouldn't feel if sobriety was an option, you thought. Max's eyes wouldn't seem to stare at you differently were he sober as well, and the way he scanned your features, his gaze staying on your lips for longer than expected, wouldn't affect you in the slightest had you not drank some alcohol.

"I like it when you say my name" he looked up at you innocently, pleading, almost.

"Want me to say it again?" you asked, smiling. You complied with these demands because you knew they were childish whims of an intoxicated man, his happiness a priority in times like these. Upon his nod, you started saying his name, half teasingly, half reassuringly, the leaves rustling in the garden behind you.

"Max... Max!! Max Max-"

He shouldn't. It would complicate things, and he liked when they were simple, clean and organized. He knew he shouldn't even when his whole vision spun and his brain convinced him that he should do things he would never do otherwise. But every time he refrained from saying something he would stumble across all his words and trip and fall and his head would only hurt more, and it seemed as if he could only focus if he kept listening to you and talking to you and looking at you.

The lights shone behind you in a way that made it feel as though he was dreaming, like you were a mirage, too good to be true. Maybe his friends were right - you weren't actually real. He wanted to be sure, in that moment. That you were real and that he wanted you as much as he thought. And though he shouldn't, though it was a terrible idea, he couldn't help but lean over to kiss you.

He tasted like champagne - bubbly and slightly sweet, his movements sloppy given his state, yet you couldn't help but drink it all in. Part of you - a big part - reciprocated the kiss, felt his fingers on the side of your neck, pulling you messily towards him, and tried to steady him, guiding him gently with your own lips.

It was odd, how this felt so right yet the fake hand holding didn't. As Max kissed you, that thought entered his clouded mind - did it feel wrong because it was fake and this was real? Your skin felt so soft, so much softer now he could touch it freely and unapologetically.

"Fuck-" he started, pulling away, his head resting against the wall once again as he stared at you, noticing how it hasn't hit you yet; what you just did, how it affected everything. "I fucking love you" he shrugged as you fixed your hair, pausing with arms raised for a few seconds before smiling softly.

"You're drunk" you replied, looking at his own grin, the gleam in his eyes making him appear both innocent and guilty of so many things.

"I'm drunk and I fucking love you"

"Max..." you started, and he said your name back to you with such tenderness you couldn't believe his lips tasted of alcohol earlier and not something sweet.

"We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" you continued, waiting for the silence to swallow you both.

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harrysfolklore · 4 months

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Tom meeting reader at an event and he’s just flirting the whole night and ends up getting her number

i watched the golden globes and got inspired to write this! i hope you like it <3

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

If there was an award for "most nervous person in attendance" at the Golden Globes, you'd have won it by now.

Award shows never failed to make your stomach feel in knots the entire time, specially when you were nominated, like tonight.

The Great had been a huge breakout role, a period drama that had captivated audiences and critics. Now, you stood among the nominees for Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy at the Golden Globes, and you could feel your heart pounding as the moment of your category being announced approached.

"Love, are you okay?" you heard a voice calling for you, turning your head you realized that it was Dua (yes, the Dua Lipa) who was sitting next to you.

"Just a bit nervous," you told her with a small smile, "I think I'll head backstage for a minute, I need a breather."

She assured you with another smile and you made your way backstage, a commercial break started just on cue.

You had rehearsed your acceptance speech a dozen times in case you won, and also had a pep talk ready in case you didn't, yet the nerves persisted. You knew you were competing against some big names, and whatever the result people online would have something to say.

Your train of thought was interrupted by your body colliding with someone, almost dropping your clutch in the process.

"Whoa there, careful," a voice chuckled, catching your arm.

"Sorry, I didn't see where I was going," you said, your cheeks flushing from embarrassment, of course you'd run into someone in classic romcom cliche style.

"No harm done. You alright?" he grinned and you recognized him, it was the man who had been flooding your Tiktok for you page for the past month, Tom Blyth, "I'm Tom, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, I'm YN," you smiled back, "And yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit nervous about my category. Oh you're presenting it, aren't you?"

"I'll have the privilege, yes," his charm effortlessly showed, "And just so you know, I'm rooting for you. You were phenomenal in The Great, one of my favorite shows I watched last year."

Your nerves seemed to ease a bit, his presence and charm making you relax. There was something about him that felt comforting, even though it was your first time meeting him.

"Thank you, that's really nice," you smiled at him, "But I don't want to get too confident, the other nominees are just as great."

"Honestly, I'd bet my hat you're taking that Golden Globe home tonight."

Tom squeezed your arm gently and you smiled again, and before another word could be exchanged, a crew member's voice echoed through the backstage area announcing that the show was back from commercial break in 30 seconds.

"Well, looks like it's showtime" Tom glanced towards the exit, then back at you. "Knock 'em dead out there, YN. You got this."

"We'll see."

With a final wink sent your way, you parted ways. You returned to your seat and tried to enjoy the ceremony as much as you could, your nerves still in the back of your head but your interaction with Tom making you feel more at ease now.

"And now, presenting the award for Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy, please welcome The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes star, Tom Blyth!"

You heard the host say and you knew t was time, and once again a wave of nerves and uncertainty filled your body.

The crowd erupted in applause as Tom stepped onto the stage, his confidence and charm shinning through.

"Good evening, everyone. It's an honor to be here tonight among such incredible talents," Tom smiled, "Here are the nominees for Female Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy."

A video played showing all the nominees but you felt like your mind was numb, you didn't even realize it had ended until Tom's voice was heard again.

"And the Golden Globe goes to," he paused for suspense, and you could see a small smirk making its way to his face as he read the name, "YN!"

Time seemed to freeze, you tried to process everything as you heard the applause from the crowd and those around you congratulating you and before you knew it, you were on stage taking the award from Tom's hands and giving him a quick hug.

"I told you." He quietly whispered in your ear and gave you a wink, a moment that the cameras had caught.

You gave your speech, thanking your cast mates, directors, family, friends and the rest of the nominees. Once you were done you headed backstage with a proud smile and your newest award in hand.

The night went on and you definitely enjoyed every minute of it, mingling with other actors and thanking everyone who approached to congratulate you.

Once the ceremony wrapped up, you headed to the after party, you were sipping on a fruity drink by the bar when you felt a presence behind you.

"Hey, can I steal a moment with the newest Golden Globe winner?"

You turned around noticing it was Tom, he had changed to a different suit and you couldn't help but think that he looked really handsome.

"Sure, what do you need, president Snow?" you laughed, feeling a newfound confidence around him.

"How about your number? I'd hate to lose touch with Hollywood's latest sensation." Tom flashed his charming smile again, taking you by surprise and making your entire body feel giddy.

"Smooth, Blyth. Very smooth." Blushing furiously, you playfully rolled your eyes.

"Well, when you really really want something, smooth comes naturally."

And just like that, after winning a major award for your career and feeling on top of the world, you found herself exchanging numbers with Tom Blyth, excited to see where that would take you.

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