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#this is the second video on the channel and far superior to the first one in quality (i think) but also boring and i look kinda *gly
markusdevblog · 7 months
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Kirkhope and Sakurai on music.
My brain on composing for games.
This is an exercise with the objective of getting a better grasp of creating soundtracks for games. First I will analyse two short videos by Masahiro Sakurai from his YouTube channel "Masahiro Sakurai on Creating Games", "Game Music And Ambient Sounds [Audio]" and "Arranging Music [Audio]". Then I will look at two interviews with the legendary composer Grant Kirkhope, one from the YouTube channel "Video Game Music Alliance" and another from the channel "KIWI TALKZ".
The first point Sakurai raises is that game music has become more ambient as games have become more realistic. This is a rebuttal to the notion that game soundtracks are less iconic or fun nowadays. While generally true when speaking of modern triple-A games, this notion is a misconception. To elaborate, the more focus and attention is diverted to large scale (and usually more realistic titles) the more it seems that game soundtracks are far more ambient than in the early days of game music. Ambient tracks in games are just more common in larger titles as large titles today are often hyper-realistic (FIFA, CoD, Assassin's Creed, etc.). And more realistic titles, more often than not, call for more cinematic and ambient music scores. the main takeaway (underpinned by Sakurai) is that any game soundtrack should adapt and be created for the proper context. Something to remember when composing music for example, aside from theme and genre, is how "active" or ambient the music should be when composing for a slow-paced, fast-paced, narrative, or a mechanic-driven situation. Identifying the "how", "what" and "when" of tone is imperative for creating music in games that lift the product to greater heights.
In the next video, Sakurai goes over the finer points of the process for creating music in Super Smash Bros., where the track should loop and deviations for a given track. Similarly to the last video, Sakurai mentions the importance of the melody. The main melody of the game should be clear, unique and an iconic pillar for the rest of the soundtrack to be built upon. Something to be hummed in the kitchen, hours after you've stopped playing the game. "Make sure you maintain the piece's identity." is a message from Sakurai that I understand as an urging to keep things on the simpler side. Not making the music simplistic per se, but to keep the music somewhat uniform, whether that be through motifs or arrangements.
In the first Kirkhope interview with "Video Game Music Alliance" I hear both the interviewer and Kirkhope speak about being a melodic composer. Can't say I entirely understand what that means but if I were to guess based on context is that it's more similar to what I think of when I think of game music. The more classic music from the older days. Once again I feel the point of importance is the identity of a piece, whether it be something catchy or recognizable. Kirkhope's main piece of advice is to be flexible. Once hired, the need to be a team player and listening to your superiors is plainly stated. This highlights something new for me about the profession, that technical prowess is a secondary or even tertiary aspect to a career of success for a composer. Being a team player and listening to your client or director seems to be the most important and in a sort of shared second place, it seems to be either a strong identity in your music (whether you're a melodic composer or not) and then how good your work is. Even then there is no objective "good" piece, it really depends on what the director of the project feels is good and to their standard or vision.
In this next interview, Kirkhope said something that caught my attention. He's been talking about the same point about being flexible, "I'll have a go at anything. I feel that's part of the trade, right? You listen to a piece of music and you try to work out what's going on." this sort of goes hand in hand with something he said earlier in this interview, that he didn't consider himself an "intelligent composer", meaning he feels he just sort of throws things at the wall until he feels he has something that works. Together it really is starting to feel that even someone of his caliber and experience Kirkhope still feels he has something to improve on. I find this personally encouraging since it's a very approachable attitude to have. To feel out the process, trust in the concept and stay open to new approaches. Kirkhope speaks more about his own process of composing in contrast to a more business side in the last interview, offering a fun insight into the mind of a veteran of the craft.
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catrinathomas · 1 year
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shinaya039 · 1 year
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whump-a-la-mode · 3 years
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Nemesis - Part 3
This part is a little more plot heavy, but I added in some nice Whumpy bits too! I hope you guys enjoy, and thanks everyone for their suggestions!
Also, the next part of this may be a bit late, as I’m planning for my next piece to be the continuation of Villainsicle!
CW//Mentions of law enforcement, mentions of therapy/treatments, restraints, medical abuse, begging, screaming, forced sedation, needles, blood
Open the door.
It would be so simple. The entrance was constructed of little more than wood and a flimsy lock. Even someone without the benefit of powers could break it. And, based on what Hero had seen so far of this place, it may not have even been locked.
Just open it.
Open the door, and they could sleep again.
Open the stupid door.
But...
Hero’s hands clenched into fists, their gaze moving upwards, fixing upon the metal plaque upon the door.
‘43′
Beyond the simple plank of wood, their nemesis was laying. Suffering. Trapped in their own mind.
They could open the door, just twist the knob, and save them. In any other time, any other instance, it was what they would have done. They knew the way the others spoke of them, joked about them. Saying they’d jump off a bridge, even if their friends hadn’t done it first. They couldn’t control their impulses. That was what Leader always wrote, in the reports. Impulsive. Reckless.
That’s what they were. Reckless.
But that was back when it didn’t matter. That was back when the only one in danger was them. Hero. Now that Villain was part of the equation?
They had to think. They had to be smart.
Hero bit their tongue with enough force that the taste of bloody iron washed over their taste buds.
They didn’t open the door.
Around the corner, a doctor in blue scrubs furrowed their brow, and dipped away to make a phone call.
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“If I’m being completely honest, Hero, I wasn’t expecting you to contact me again.”
Hacker spoke with their head down, sheepish, as though a child apologizing for breaking a toy.
Again, the two sat in the same diner: It was busy, but crowded enough that they could simply blend into the lunch rush without fuss. To avoid questions, the both of them had ordered an appetizer, though neither of them had much of an appetite to speak of.
“You weren’t? Why’s that?”
“I mean...” They leaned back in their seat, pressing their spine against the padded booth seat back. “I didn’t think you’d care? That sounds kind of rude now that I’m saying it out loud but... The stuff I was showing you, I assumed you were already aware of it.”
“You thought I knew the way Villain was being treated?”
“Kind of? That’s the kind of stuff they tell you, right?”
“Eh...” Hero dropped their gaze. “Not really. That’s not our business. We catch the crook, what happens to them after isn’t really our focus.”
Hacker frowned.
“It’s not?”
“No.”
“So you didn’t know?”
“Not at all. I knew they were at that facility but... I thought it was fine. I thought Villain was fine.”
“Maybe I should have told you sooner, then.”
“You knew?”
“Well.” There came the embarrassment once more, their cheeks flushing. “For the scale of your organization, your cybersecurity is a little... lacking. Everything from that rehab facility, it’s stored on an off-site backup. Their on-site security is decent, but once it goes through that external data channel, it’s caught right in my net.”
“Is that right?”
“Don’t tell anyone, please?”
“Trust me, I wasn’t planning on it. I have much bigger problems than low level hackers.”
“Hey!”
“That’s not to say you’re a low-level hacker.”
“That’s better. Then, if you’re not here to like, arrest me-”
“That’s what you thought I was doing?”
“Kinda. If that’s not what you want, what do you want?”
“I want to know more.”
Hero had made the decision upon planning this meeting that they were not to tell Hacker about their visit to the facility. Despite the aid they had already offered, it was hard to trust someone who admitted to criminality with such nonchalance. And, besides, Hero was almost certain that their superiors wouldn’t be happy to know about their distraction.
“More?”
“You’ve been watching them for a while, right? I want to know more. Everything about Villain, everything about the whole place. How much do you know?”
“A lot. I have a considerable amount of files, though I have no way of knowing how many more there are that I don’t have. How many they keep on-site.”
“But you have information?”
“I have a lot of junk. Taxes, insurance, quarterly reports, formalities. Prescriptions for mundane crap like, I don’t know, allergies. But, I think I have a few diamonds in the rough. You’re going to have to be more specific than that, though. I do need something to work off of.”
Hero nodded, biting their lip. They hadn’t exactly thought this far ahead.
They were getting Villain out of that so-called rehab facility. They knew that much. But they needed to be smart about it. They needed information. They needed to know how they could get their friend- foe out of that place quickly, safely, and with as little noise as possible.
“The facility.” They began. “How does it work? It’s a relatively small facility housing a relatively large number of dangerous criminals. How do they... help them? They’re not all treated like Villain, right?”
“I don’t think there’s enough drugs on the continent to keep them all like Villain. Their methods of treatment are... unclear. The patient reports indicate what therapies each one is undergoing, but they don’t have names. Just numbers. Codes. Whatever they do in there, they keep it in house. My doctor friends have never heard of any of it, before.”
“Then how do they do it? Drugs?”
“If they have some kind of secret therapy, I don’t know about it. But they do have something else. They call it AMRS.”
“AMRS?”
“The Automatic Magnetic Restraint System. A fancy name for a crude practice. They’re vague about it, of course, but from what I can tell, each resident wears these four ring things. Bracelets, it calls them. One on each wrist, one on each ankle. A single push of a button, and they all link together. Any escape stopped in a second.”
“That seems...”
“Cruel? Yeah. But I guess it could be worse. As far as how the facility operates, though, that’s all I have. It’s not drugs, as far as I can tell. I have those dosage reports for everyone, and those that take medicine seem to do so for genuine medical conditions. Insulin, epilepsy medication, that kind of thing.”
“None of the others are sedated?”
“Not officially.”
“But Villain...”
“I think if they were any more heavily sedated, they’d go right from a temporary sleep to a permanent one.”
“You mean-”
“They’d die, yes. It’s called a euphemism, dumbass.”
“I know that. So, what about Villain, do you have anything else on them?”
“They’ve been kept heavily sedated since they arrived. Regular patient records, they just... don’t have them. No behavior reports, no treatment reports, nothing.”
“I guess they’re not really treating them.”
“Yeah.”
“They’ve really been kept like this, ever since I- Ever since they arrived?”
“As far as I can tell, yes.”
“Then it wasn’t reactionary.”
“What do you mean?”
“They didn’t try to like, blow up the facility, or kill up all the staff, or anything?! They were just knocked out. Locked up. They weren’t even given a chance to be good?”
Hacker lowered their gaze, nodding.
“Why?”
“Are you sure you want-”
“You know why?”
“I’m not certain, but-”
“Show me.”
Hacker startled a bit, but nodded once more, starting up their beast of a laptop and typing for a considerable amount of time. Hero could not help but hold their breath, and when the computer was at last turned to face them, they felt about to pass out.
“Wait.” Hacker spun the computer back. “You need to promise me something, first.”
“What?” Hero hated how desperate they sounded.
“Whatever you do, after you see this... please, just think it through.”
“Okay.”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
“Okay.”
The screen was returned to Hero.
They halfway expected another video feed. A video of Villain, destroying and killing and doing something, anything to deserve their current treatment.
Instead, they were faced with an email. Or, at least, a screenshot of one. Passed through enough computers that the jpeg artifacts had begun to show.
An email from Director to Head Doctor.
The text was simple. Curt. A simple request to destroy a life.
“I am certain that you are aware of the new patient you will be intaking tomorrow. I request that you do not classify them among the other patients. Normal intake procedures will be unnecessary. You need only keep them contained. Alive if you can, dead if you must.
Villain must never see the light of day again. I trust that you will be able to accomplish this.
Thank you-- Do not forget that we will be meeting for lunch next Wednesday.”
Not even a hundred words. That was all it took, to turn a spirited fighter to a vegetable.
“Thank you, Hacker. I think... I think I need to go home.”
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Hero’s parting from the restaurant was sudden enough to make several other patrons look up. Hacker could not help but feel embarrassment well up in their chest. They hated being out in public like this.
They figured, even with the cold food sitting before them, they should be going. Finger on their mouse, they closed the email on the screen, revealing-
Not their desktop.
They had forgotten. They had meant to show Hero and they had forgotten.
Now, the video sat there, waiting. A chipper white arrow informing them that it was ready to play at any time.
They shouldn’t have. Hell, they could have at least waited to go home. But...
Hacker plugged in a set of earbuds, setting the buds themselves in their ears.
They clicked play.
Even on the rather low-quality security camera footage, the crash was loud enough to make Hacker jump. Three lab-coated figures, a mess of limbs and white coats, leapt atop the hospital gown wearing person like a predator after prey.
Villain was not facing the camera, but it made no difference. Their voice made them more than distinctive enough.
“Get the fuck off of me! Get off get off get off!“ The scream was loud enough to break the microphone’s volume filter, turning into a single, mournful screech.
If the labcoats heard, they did not listen. They positioned themselves along their captive’s body-- one holding their legs, one the arms, and one forcing their face to the tile.
“Please!”
The fourth figure wore a different outfit, a pair of blue scrubs, though the camera quality made them appear almost grey. Represented by only a few pixels, the syringe in their hand was none the less distinctive.
“Hold them still, please.” The doctor muttered, kneeling down beside Villain, their hysterical screaming not missing a beat.
“No! No! Please, please don’t do this! I don’t want to go! Please!”
There were no comforting words. Only the satisfied nodding of the head doctor as their needle slipped deftly to a vein and administered its contents.
“What is that, what is that, no no no please!”
A nurse handed down another syringe, and another, and another. The timestamp in the video’s corner dragged on in agonizing slowness as new pinpricks of blood welled up over Villain’s skin.
It took only a few minutes for their screaming to stop. Then their thrashing. Then, they closed their eyes.
It would be a long, long time until they opened them again.
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Of course, home was not a place of rest. Not as much as Hero would have liked it to be. They were not a civilian-- they were not that lucky. They did not have the chance to return home to a soft bed and a loving family.
No. When they went home, they went to work.
It was only past noon when they returned home to the HQ. A time at which the towering building stood largely abandoned, its occupants leaving in droves to flood the nearby restaurants like a locust swarm.
Riding the elevator to the floor containing their quarters, Hero hoped beyond hope that their team, too, had gone out.
But, of course, they had no such luck.
They didn’t even make it to their quarters. No, as soon as the elevator doors opened, their heart sunk.
“I saw you walk in.” Leader’s arms were crossed over their chest, a single eyebrow raised. “Let’s go to my office.”
“I was just about to go back to my dorm-”
“Actually, you were just about to follow my orders and go to my office.”
Hero slumped their shoulders. They didn’t have the energy to fight this, especially since they knew it was a fight they couldn’t win.
Leader’s office was a place they had all visited, though never under good circumstances. It was far too immaculately kept for what it was used for, a solid oak desk standing in a room well decorated with house plants and bookshelves. Leader took their seat, and Hero reluctantly did the same, across from them.
“So,” Leader began--they were not one for formalities. “When exactly when you planning on telling me?”
“If you’re going to yell at me about something, you at least have to tell me what.”
“Teammate told me, yesterday. They found out why you’re getting so distracted.”
Hero dropped their gaze. They weren’t exactly surprised about this. They only hoped Teammate had kept their mouth shut about their plans.
“It’s really nothing.” Hero tried. “I’ll get over it.”
“This anniversary you’re getting so upset over was ten days ago. By the time you get over it, another year will have already passed. So, no. You’re not getting out of it that easily. I need to know what’s gotten you so worked up.”
Hero gripped the arm of their chair.
“I’m worried. That’s all. Worried about Villain. It’s been too long. They’ve been so silent for so long.”
Leader frowned.
“I can personally assure you that Villain is being well taken care of. The rehabbers have more experience than you could imagine.”
“That’s just it! Villain spent so long terrorizing the city, and they’re still here. But they’re so quiet.”
Leader sighed, sitting up straight in their chair.
“This isn’t just a minor distraction. You need to know that. It’s reflecting on your performance, and heavily. Enough that Director has noticed.”
“Director?”
“Yes. They asked me about the situation, and I informed them of your current problem. They stated that, if it really is such a concern to you, they can have Villain moved to another facility. Somewhere farther.”
“No!”
“What? They think it would help, really. Out of sight. Out of mind.”
“No. They need to be here.”
“And why would that be?”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 
Thanks so much for reading! Just like last time, there are two options along with every part of this story. Alongside each options is a question, so that you guys can give more specific suggestions if you so wish. The option that receives the most votes will be the choice that our Hero makes!
A.) Leader can help. Tell the truth - Should Hero tell Leader about Director’s role in Villain’s condition?
B.) Leader can also ruin the whole operation. Lie - What should Hero do next?
64 notes · View notes
hopeswriting · 3 years
Text
Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.
Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:
Reborn on Instagram.
He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.
He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.
The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.
Reborn loves them and saves them all.
------
Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.
But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.
They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.
------
Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.
Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.
*
Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.
He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??
“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”
or:
“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”
or:
“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”
------
That’s just his Twitter only followers though.
The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.
Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.
see also:
Skull, riding his bike, both of them suspiciously wet, holding a lighter in his hand: You guys ready for this sick fire stunt I came up with?? If everything goes well I should only get second to third degree burns, let’s do this!!!
see also:
A picture of Skull lying on a roof, his arms full of snacks and his mouth stuffed with food, with police cars in the background, that says: send tips to make sure there’s always food in your fridge for when you need it the most. #midnightsnack #snitchesgetstitches #justsaying
see also:
A picture of Skull crouched in front of a body, posing, that says: don’t worry guys we’re just faking, but hypothetically, if you were to hide a body as quick as possible from here without being seen, what would you do? #hypotheticallyseriousanswersonly #hypotheticallythecopsaremaybeontheirway #quickanswersappreciated
*
Verde on Facebook.
He creates a public group with only him as member that’s basically his scientific diary.
It’s not really to invite intellectual challenging debates (though he’d be all for it if someone smart enough showed up), but he figures it’s in his best interest to make the world a less dumb place if he can.
It finds his public, though there’s only a few comments because god forbid you say something dumb or inaccurate and Verde fucking annihilates you in the comment section.
But like, in a teacher way. Like he’s genuinely trying to make you know better but he’s just ruthless at it lmao.
Verde uses a fake name and a fake everything so there’s quickly a running joke along the lines of “Imagine if it’s really the genius scientist Verde running the group and you just outed yourself as a flat earther lol”.
------
But what gets the group really popular is the in depth flames theory involving weather of all things they have to assume he came up with it all on his own because they can’t figure out to save their lives what the hell he’s talking about?
And it makes them question their sanity sometimes because Verde talks about it like it’s the most obvious thing and in the context of just about every basic aspects of life.
Cue the conspirators and their hot new take of “the aliens were among us all along and hid themselves as the WEATHER!!!” that instantly turns into the new popular meme.
That, and the transcripts posts of Verde trying his theories that nine out of ten apparently involves very unwilling participants whose life are threatened and sometimes they straight up DIE???
------
They think both of these is just him fucking with them and it’s all fictional. They want to think it is anyway.
They’re not so sure, but everyone is too afraid to ask.
*
Colonnello on Snapchat.
70% of his content is about Lal because this man is so in love and it’s like he’s a guest on his own account lol.
There’s the “Pining Hard” content where it’s just him trying to seduce Lal, to romance her and asking her out, and Lal brushing all of it off more often than not.
His followers are very invested in this “old bickering married couple type of best friends in oblivious mutual pining” real live action slow burn fic, and cheers him hard whenever Lal reciprocates the tiniest bit.
------
They don’t know the two are already together.
They think Lal brushing him off or flirting back but in an unmistakably joking/”platonic” way is just her being oblivious and not taking Colonnello seriously.
When she would just rather flirt back off camera because it’s her private life thank you very much.
Colonnello never tells them because he assumes they all know and just choose to be in on the joke.
Lal finds it hilarious whenever she goes through his Snapchat (with his permission of course) to find numerous messages of encouragement, so she never says either.
------
But one day she kind of just steals a kiss from him while he’s recording because she wanted to, and his followers lose their shit.
Lal laughs herself to tears and laughs for days.
------
The other Lal’s related content is the “Lal’s loving hours”, where he just takes pictures of her/records her doing random shit---whether it's her making a disaster out of the kitchen, or wearing three pairs of socks because her feet are cold, or beating the shit out of someone---and him doing heart eyes at the camera.
------
Otherwise it’s just him living his life and letting them in on what happens.
There’s a lot of pictures because he’s handsome and he knows it and he likes the compliments aqsdfghj.
Or videos of him going on and on about how energy drinks are really the best drink ever while doing grocery.
Or ranting videos about how bullets wounds are such a pain to deal with and showing himself patching himself up to show how it’s done (thanks??!!??).
Or him watching series and roasting the characters for their dumb decisions.
Or him commenting in real time an assassination attempt on him in the middle of the night in his own fucking home because the fucker sure is ballsy (????!!!!!!???).
It’s very popular too because of how relatable it is.
Well, most of the time anyway.
*
Viper on Youtube.
They have a DIY type of channel, mostly about fashion---what they think about the new products/clothes they bought from their favorite brand, their thoughts on the new fashion trend, their makeup/skin care routine and favorite outfits for various circumstances, or they’re often on live while going shopping.
(I just really like Fashionista!Viper okay.)
They play videos games too, thinking they’re being very good while being very average to not say they straight up suck asdfghj.
Occasionally do reaction videos too.
------
Like Reborn they hardly ever show their face. Actually they don’t show it at all lol. They wear masks to do their videos because a hood is not very reliable.
How do they do their makeup videos then you ask?
They use "volunteer" as models of course.
And by volunteers I mean the Varia qsdftgyhjkl.
------
They also have another very peculiar brand of videos that is the most popular one on their channel. The titles of these videos include but are not limited to:
“A Due Payment Of Yours Is Late? How To Hunt Them For Sport”
“A Little Bitch Doesn’t Respect Your Pronouns/Chosen Name? Step By Step On How To Make Them Shut The Fuck Up Forever”
“How To Efficiently Remove Blood And Various Others Human Residue From Your Clothes”
“Faking Your Death And Taking On A New Identity: Step By Step Tutorial”
“How To Take Over Your Friends Brains And Watch Them Prank Themselves ft. The Varia”
*
Fon on Tumblr.
His blog becomes known as a shitpost blog or a blog run by a bot when really, everything he posts is about actual, very real events that happened in his life.
Except he vague posts every time because he really wants to keep his anonymity.
He posts about the hardships of learning more and more martial arts and staying at the top of the art, and sounds like some dangerous psychopath.
“The body is such a fragile thing, isn’t it? It tends to break quite easily unfortunately. You’d think I’d know that by then, but I really need to remember it more often so I can keep enjoying myself.”
He’s talking about how he always pushes himself too much in training and ends up injuring himself.
“Everyday I dispose of them and reasserts my superiority, and everyday they come back and it’s really hard to not hurt them beyond repair.”
He’s talking about how he’s often challenged by other martial artists who don’t like him being the best and how he always has to beat them up bloody for them to give up.
He also posts about his family's live except it’s the Hibari’s family live, and he doesn’t sound more sane of mind at all.
“I made the mistake of taking Kyo with me on my grocery trip and picked on his tell-tale signs of going through a bad day too late.
But fortunately the shop is still standing and no one was heavily injured.”
or:
“It’s so heartwarming to see Kyo make friends. The brown haired kid didn’t put much of a fight but the one with the pineapple haircut has potential.
He almost managed to stab him that one time, and I can’t wait to tease Kyo about it. He’s very cute when annoyed and embarrassed.”
or:
“Often I look back to the day Kyo got his tonfa and I am always infinitely grateful for this not-so-easy-to-kill-with weapon.
I would like for him to at least finish high school first.”
Yeah it’s very often about Kyoya lmao. And no one knows for sure what in the world a “Kyo” is supposed to be???
An actual human being is NOT the most popular theory qsdfghn.
*
Lal on TikTok.
I guess?? I’m kind of running out of ideas lol, and I know very little about TikTok.
But I’m thinking she makes a series of videos where she looks straight into the camera like she’s on The Office while some bullshit or the other happens in the background.
And it’s not even always her friends or coworkers or Colonnello (yeah he has a category of his own lmao).
As far as she is concerned everyone who chooses to be a fucking dumbass in her vicinity is asking for it aqsdfghj.
------
Also has a “Doing paperwork” series, and the later at night she’s doing it, the more she’s absolutely fucking done with people not being able to do their job properly without collateral damage.
She dryly reads out loud the highlights of the reports and goes straight for their lives lol.
But as funny as it is, everyone is more interested in the very questionable out of context content of these reports???
------
Also does workout videos, as in she demonstrates how to do this one or other exercise, and if these do particularly well it has nothing to do with how people want to look respectfully at her body, of course not.
ALSO has a “Colonnello’s Loving Hours” series because you better believe this woman is also so much in love.
She records him when he’s simply existing---whether he’s snuggling besides her while they’re watching TV, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, or cleaning his guns---while looking at the camera with this tender, content expression on her face.
*
They become known as the Weather Lovers because boy, do these people like to go on about their favorite weather. Some shipping might even be involved??
It’s how their community introduces them to each other.
Cue even more chaos on their respective socials medias.
Viper’s video of their first meeting is the most popular one on their channel.
*
Yeah I know, I didn’t add the Sky Arco ladies, but I have no idea what they could do. Pinterest maybe? Or Vine? Dunno, they’re all yours guys lol.
29 notes · View notes
fandom-sheep · 3 years
Text
MCC 24 JUL 21
Green Guardians and Pink Parrots Part 1/2
Alright I’m finally back! I’m only half watching while I clean my room but it’s fine.
I’m watching Fundy’s POV on my main screen and Ranboo’s on my phone where I’m typing this.
Ranboo pre game stream let’s gooo.
I’m so very entertained by the background Tubbo noises.
He’s so happy. I don’t know if I have it in my to watch Fundy’s POV even though I’m cheering for the Green Guardians.
Sands of time. Let’s go!
We are going to hear these boys in each other’s backgrounds.
This has “mom can we play Minecraft at our sleepover” vibe.
Phil’s streaming. Where is the fox boy…
Boys trying to out noise each other.
Please tell over to tubbo about how loud he is being. It would be funny.
It’s so much fun watching this boy achieve his goals. I love watching people achieve their goals.
Actual MCC server!!!
Good time for screeny. Nobody is chilling.
BURGER!
I saw him! I saw that fox run past!
“Ahh” - Ranboo
“Aaaa” -Tubbo
“Ahhhh” -Ranboo
“Aaaa” -Tubbo
High school ish age boy in competitive scenario. This will be so much fun.
Microphone magic time!
Hey I hear the boys!
And it works well.
It does echo???? How???
“It was a joint effort. I came up with some bad ideas you came up with the idea that works.” -Tubbo
Also known as every other group chat I’ve ever been in.
Lmanburg flag at rally?
What?
No. Let’s do free clout.
Ranboo being a problem.
Why is everyone in that VC?
What problems are these children causing.
Fundy is live! Where is my iPad time to dual wield streams.
Spatula???
Dual spatulas.
It’s time to start!!!
Where is the fox?
You know. I might reverse it. I might have to watch Pink Parrots mainly and just ignore green guardians.
I’m going to put Wilbur on my iPad so I can see the chaos man. Now to decide which POV I’m listening to. Probably Ranboo. Wilbur on mine is slightly behind.
They asked if Wilbur was going change his skin? That never happens. He had to wear the sweater of shame at Christmas time.
I have them both almost perfectly sinced but it’s at the point it almost sounds echoed.
No it’s just tubbo who sounds echoed.
Nope can’t get it to sync. Just listening on my speaker.
No surround sound here. Unless I get really board.
Manifesting the win?
Manifolding the win.
Bavid.
Time to annoy the other teams.
From here on I’m going to try to be productive while I watch. Wait no. The music isn’t in sync with the one I’ll mostly be watching.
Oh I forgot TapL was there. Nope it’s not syncing. Just going to have Ranboos on my phone be secondary.
Wilbur POV let’s go.
We trash talking. Look at them go.
Ahh. English area codes. What the enigma.
Let’s win pink parrots!!! How do I always end up cheering for this team…
I need to make pink parrot art.
Oh no. Just Wilbur.
Oh no. It’s all Tubbo.
Wilbur reminds me of a good camp counselor motivating his team. Not like one of my coworkers.
My brother isn’t home today so we can’t have a watch party like we wanted.
My mom is confused with my and my brother’s investment in MCC but we told her it was the national championships of Minecraft.
Oh poor Fundy tagging on the other side.
I need to remember to collect channel points.
I’m sorry why is my internet acting stupid. Work you!
Pink and purple. The tween girls second most idea color pallet.
They are over motivating the Soot.
Thought Wilbur was going to explode from peer pressure there.
Yooo. I figured out how to watch Fundy! I can split screen my ipad between the app and the website. Tiny Fundy screen and big Wilbur screen and tiny Ranboo screen on my phone.
They can’t warn fast enough.
Time to watch and ad and support Wilbur because it got too far behind for my liking while I fought with the tiny Fundy screen.
I need to put away the books I’m pressing flowers in. But I don’t want to mess up the flowers.
Wonder how soon I’ll have to start a new post because I ran out of bullet points.
Nah I’m not keeping Fundy’s POV open. I want full screen Pink Parrots.
Music brain made the lyric connection.
I could drink 3 bottles of water every round.
The boys with the superior bladders.
What happened with Wilbur? What I didn’t see anything happen with the stream.
Nox crew role play??? What?
Wait. Did red team just fall into the void?
What?
I found a skirt and I’m wondering why I don’t wear it more often.
It goes down to my knees I could even wear this to church.
Offhand wool!
Time to battle in the box!
Exciting death boots.
Go!!! Do wool! Get em!
Oh wow. They both died. At the same time.
They can hear the Tommy. That’s how well these dudes know one another.
Bragging on each other.
Everyone surprised that Wilbur is entering his old man years.
Woohoo!
Random history moments with Tubbo.
Woohoo (again)!
Ranboos just going to jinx it.
Oh no I need my charger!
Got my charger! Rejoined at “Minecraft butts make big… videos” and am quite confused.
Skilled boys!!
Poof goes the Bur.
They beat Dream???
Casually refolding every bandana I own while watching battle box.
I found a peppermint tea bag.
Come on get mid! Noooo.
Pink parrots doing pretty good from what I see in MCC live.
I thought Ranboo had an actual burger on his face cam. I was so confused for a moment.
Yelling across the room casually.
Wilbur is back. You can hear him.
Wilbur is like a kid trying to get a duck out of the pond.
Sky battle?
Shake? Shake shake shake?
Oh no. Now all the chat is crying over Ghostbur. Myself included.
Pink parrots on top so far! Never mind that didn’t last long.
Go Wilbur! Go Tubbo! Go Ranboo! Go TapL!
Wilbur go poof.
3rd atm.
Oh we’ve gone down.
No he was not good. But he paved the way for TapL.
We’re in 2nd?? Are the other teams dead or something?
If we’re going down and yelling timber.
4th. Not bad.
Woohoo!
Go green guardians!!
So proud of them.
Pants and Boots!
Still in 6th for sky battle.
Bless his heart TapL is so worried.
Red Rabbits and Green guardians are close.
My streams are out of sync. So confused.
We’re in lead!!
WE WON!!!
My iPad is struggling with Will’s stream but it’s going!
Come on Parrots!
Alright got it up again. Got it up again.
If I were a streamer I wouldn’t be good at MCC. I can’t competitive properly. I just like making jokes and being goofy.
Not a good lead but oh well never mind we don’t have the lead.
Red Rabbits YUM.
“Do not engage” as they set off tnt.
Get those stupid rabbits! Or whoever is attacking. I’ve never been good at any sports.
First again!
Hold on guys!
They won!!! With Wilbur hovering on the edge of the void!!!
PINK PARROTS FIRST PLACE (for now but I’m still excited)
Talented team!! Look at them go!
Get your screen shot little Y/N fan boy.
Not surprised we’re more popular than the olympics.
Had to go brag to my parents that there are more people watching MCC than the olympics. They were also not surprised.
Sands of Time. The wildcard game.
Sand sand sand sand.
We have a key for a vault already?
Putting away shoes. Nothing to make you be productive like watching Minecraft peeps play a competitive game.
“Everywhere is a way into somewhere”
Come on boys.
Time to switch to Ranboos POV. See if I can spot that N with my grown up can spot things vision.
Nope don’t see this mysterious letter.
TapL if you got nothing to do bother Ranboo to help him find that N.
Calm Tubbo. Tubbo chill.
Really. The map is broken and they are taking forever helping.
Key!!! Fight Fight Fight.
Ranboo apologizing.
If his team loses this kid will blame himself.
Go Tubbo and Ranboo.
Vault open!
Out of sand = prepare to book it.
1:30 (90 sec) let’s go.
Less than a minute. Evacuate!
Oh no Ranboo is lost. Hurry kiddo!
They made it?
They made it.
Off goes the Wilbur. Now to wait.
Come on pink parrots.
Is it bad I can’t see sands of time coins in MCC live or am I just crazy?
5th. Better than I expected.
THEY ARE STILL FIRST???
Barely. But they are.
We get to vote now?!?
Quick to the voting!
I had to fight Twitter to vote.
The app didn’t want to work.
What’s the acronym one?
I’m sorry did I just hear that Wilbur taught Tubbo how to spell fuck?
Ranboo has the iron bladder.
I drank so much water but I just kinda do that.
Listen to Wilbur getting soft and encouraging Ranboo in his first game.
And Wilbur wanting him back. And planning to manipulate Scott.
Doesn’t surprise me that Wilbur would manipulate Scott. I know he probably doesn’t but still.
Look at all us audience beings.
Hooray David. I don’t know who you are but sup.
I’m sitting on a yoga ball to type and I about fell off. That wouldn’t have been fun.
All of Wills chat blessing him.
David just did the vocal equivalent of 👍🏻
Ooo I found a dollar.
And of course Tubbo likes the olympics. Trampoline boy should love them.
Nooo. Not tubbo!
Whoopsy. There go the parrots.
Why does my Wilbur stream keep goofing. See this is why I don’t actually liveblog I am so behind it’d be delayed anyway.
Instead of replacing with Phil replace with Kristen.
Keep it up Pink Parrots keep it up. *clap clap*
Where is my old cheerleading book?
Oh this is so behind. I saw ranboo fall on his POV then waited a few moments to see him on Wills.
Let’s reset it again for now. Look like it’s close. And I got an ad this time.
If it gets super behind again I’m going to just switch to Ranboo on my iPad and see if that works.
Wills is slightly ahead now. That’s how I like it.
Wilbur is such a motivating human. I swear I keep thinking that I’m hearing my coworkers encouraging campers at a kickball game or something.
Oh we’re dropping. But we’re still going.
How the actual hay are we still here.
Keep it up TapL!!
2nd!
300 and a bit to get back to first.
Look at Ranboo and Wilbur. So happy.
Ok singy boi with the ability to do one sound for a long time.
I want TapL on DSMP. It would be funny I like this guy. What does this guy stream? I want to start watching him.
Ace Race? I love ace race.
Ooo buildmart. Used to be my favorite but now no one hates it anymore.
I like least liked games. Least liked games act as great equalizers. No one is happy and it’s funny.
“You have such a way with words” -TapL (?)
“Thanks I’m a song writer” -Wilbur
Why are we doing dramatic monologues?
Sounds neat. I like this deep story.
Who is dying? What? I zoned out for a minute.
Cant wait to see that audio appear on tiktok.
You go Wilbur. I believe in you.
You go Ranboo become a lover or hater of Ace Race.
“I keep on stabbing people in the butt with my fork” -Ranboo
Again can’t wait to see that audio appear on tiktok.
I love Wilburs angry “which glitch” he’s experienced all of them.
No don’t stop Wilburs channel! I’ll watch an ad but let me watch ace race.
Ranboo has learned to dislike ace race.
Feels like a achievement. You have made Ranboo hate ace race.
Tubbo did it! Whoop!
Good job Will!
Good Job team!
Second team to finish!!!
Wait it says they are in 3rd on MCC live?
Phil Head!
Hey 1st. Good job Parrots!
The perspective I watch doesn’t matter. All I see is shifting at Wilbur either way.
Ranboo booked it.
Techno. Oh how we miss him. He was there last MCC but still.
Wait why are they in the soggy? I missed it?
Dunk tank?
End on build mart! Everyone sounded so sad! I’m so happy! I picked the right team!
Oh acronym is terra swoop force!!! Go Philza.
I’m practical shot who will win.
Pink Parrots doing actually pretty good according to MCC live.
Good job guys!
Resetting Wilburs stream while nothing is happening so I don’t miss anything later.
OH WAIT STUFF IS STILL HAPPENING I SEE IT ON RANBOOS!
Oh final text block. I’m going to have to make 2 posts.
4 notes · View notes
mashounen2003 · 3 years
Video
youtube
Here is the text of the video, translated into English. Seriously, check out this video, this guy is awesome.
"Conspiracy Theories" by Guille Aquino.
Posted on June 27, 2019.
--------------------------------------------------
Warning: if you're influenceable, you need to watch this.
--------------------------------------------------
Alright, before we start, I want us to welcome and applaud our new friends from the CIA, the FBI, NASA, the former SIDE -today, the AFI-, the KGB, Interpol, and the lazy virgins at the troll centre on Miserere Park, who are surely already watching this video because today we're gonna talk about...
Conspiracy Theories.
We all know some: the humans didn't go to the Moon, the 9/11 was a self-attack by the USA's government, Bin Laden never existed, Walt Disney is frozen, Elvis Presley is alive, the Simpsons predict the future, Marcelo Tinelli went to a famous hospital with a famous object inserted in a famous place on his body, and Dengue and Zika fever were created by Bill Gates who genetically modified mosquitoes to depopulate the Earth because it most likely was easier than making work that "Internet Explorer" bulls*** he sold us. But let's get to the news: in early 2019, YouTube modified its recommendation algorithm to avoid promoting conspiracy theories and false information. And let's stop here because I want us to become aware of the magnitude this matter took on and how this little joke of the conspiracy theories videos completely went to Hell.
Think of it this way: YouTube, the second most trafficked website in the world after Google, with over 30 million visitors per day and over 1.3 billion users -almost a third of all people connected to the Internet in the world-, where 300 hours of videos are uploaded per minute and almost 500 trillion videos are viewed per day, had to change its own recommendation system because all of us were watching too many videos denouncing that Lali Espósito is an Illuminati:
Video excerpt: [with obvious robotic voice] "Also, at the second Number Ten, she covers one of her eyes again, obviously symbolizing the All-Seeing Eye."
And I'm very sorry to tell you that, in today's world, if YouTube has a problem, we all have a problem.
Conspiracy theories are the Internet's new porn. In fact, if you filter the words "conspiracy" and "theories" by the number of views, the most viewed video has 36 million views. THIRTY-SIX! MILLION! VIEWS! That's like putting together the total populations of Belgium, Greece, Cuba and Jamaica, and then lighting a giant reefer to everyone and making them watch this video of people saying the Earth is flat:
Another video excerpt: [Channel 13 interview with Flat-Earthers, recorded in a park in Buenos Aires] "I pour water into this dish... Look, I pour water, and it stays, you see? But we pour water into the globe... and it goes down, people."
Okay, now we're gonna go over some of the most popular conspiracy theories of recent times, and we're gonna try to deconstruct the psychological profile of the average consumer of the conspiranoid world.
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We'll start with everyone's favourite...
The Flat-Earthers.
Excerpt of the second video: "This first meeting began to be announced in the groups I followed on YouTube. (And the tattoo you have there, what is it?) This is the flat Earth, the Sun and the Moon."
The Flat-Earthers basically hold the theory that the Earth is not actually spherical, and they claim Galileo Galilei was an old smoke-seller blabbermouth who often played into the Far-Right's hands, cut his hair in an old-fashioned barbershop and used the 1610 telescope mainly to bed with chicks. And I have nothing personal against the Flat-Earthers but I find it difficult to take them seriously, mostly because much of their scientific hypothesis can be explained with this blooper.
Excerpt of another, different video: "There's an inflatable pool filled with water and with two people in it, a third person suddenly jumps into the water, and the pool deforms and overflows on the other side, as one of the two previously present people also falls over the edge."
(Images from the film "Armageddon".)
The truth is that the "flat Earth" theory has one fundamental premise, and it's the same one that supports 100% of conspiracy theories:
There's a power above us that manages everything.
Governments, lobbies and other de facto powers are capable of lying on a massive scale, just as intelligence services, the New World Order and FlyBondi hostesses do.
Excerpt of the second video: "(And you can't see the curvature of the Earth from the plane.) Uh... I travelled by plane to Bariloche, and no, I didn't see it. There's some aircraft glass with a small magnification or something that changes your perspective, due to the thickness of the window, and because aircraft glass also has something."
Alright, stop, let's not turn this into "Point at the crazy assholes and laugh" either, right? Well, yes, a little- But we go beyond that! We're better than that!
Why do so many people choose to believe we're puppets of an evil system? One might say that, in the absence of a sense of real control over our own lives and in the face of the desolation of living in a seemingly random, chaotic world, believing there's an external force exerting control is, to some extent, comforting. Yes, phone the Vatican.
And according to a certain old white upper-middle-class snob who teaches at Harvard University, conspiracy theorists share several or at least one of the following features: they're paranoid, radical, extremist in their opinions; they aspire to a feeling of superiority, and basically, they feel special for possessing information that exceeds the common citizen. Yeah, it's like the row for an indie film festival.
Umberto Eco even said:
"The control syndrome invades us. When someone claims to have a secret, their strength is not in hiding something but in making people think there's even a secret in the first place."
And I didn't understand a f*** because I've never read a book in my life, but it sounds ultra-mega-hyper cool. I dare you to deny it!
So who would be the most likely to believe in these kinds of theories? People who had bad experiences in life, people in search of an answer that would rescue them from a deep existential crisis, and the most important: people in search of a place of belonging.
Excerpt of the second video: "Well, no, this opened a door for me to start thinking more, to question things, about a supposed alien invasion."
Wait, stop right there. Excuse me, but if I'm an alien and I have the power to cross the universe in a spaceship, with my own army and the ability to colonize a celestial body, I don't even waste my time invading a paper-thin planet. Give me a round planet or give me death!
And that's when the contradiction comes into play. Because if you believe in one conspiracy theory, you immediately start to believe in all of them. It's like the weed. Even the refutation of a plot fits within the plot itself: for example, if you believe Lady Diana was killed by the British Crown, you're also prone to believe Lady Diana is actually still alive.
(Woah, Mind Blown... She was totally killed anyway, sorry.)
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Good, let's move on to the next one:
The Anti-Vaccination movement.
Okay, here we come to a key point, since clearly there are the "harmless" conspiracy theories and the... rather dangerous ones. We've all heard someone say vaccines may cause autism in kids. Now, I'm clearly a specialist in absolutely nothing, and I ain't gonna explain why you guys have to vaccinate your children, so I better recommend to you the websites of any Ministry of Health or Wikipedia, so that you later visit them and find out how very important it is to inject legal drugs to your sweet little angels. And it's not to detract from any position or to err on the side of bigotry, but if you're an anti-vax and your baby coughs next to me, I swear I'll kick their head off.
(Tack! That bag of germs...)
And after all, that's why we invented Democracy!
(Ha, of course not, but...)
In fact, I dunno who gives a f*** about this but maybe someone will find it useful: I follow a pretty simple method when it comes to ideologically locating myself regarding any issue. And this is:
Always do the opposite of whatever Gisela Barreto says.
Gisela Barreto: [speaks with a flag in the background] "Vaccines show up, and they show them to us as something that heals us. Actually, they're part of our death."
(Seriously, she came this close to being in the Avengers.)
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Okay, and now let's move on to one that touches us all closely (at least here, in my country):
Hitler in Argentina.
It's the conspiracy theory ensuring that, after losing World War II, the Nazi leader, the most disgusting dictator and genocide in Human History, came to live incognito in our country. And I ask myself: what the heck did we need to shelter Hitler for? The birth of Alejandro Biondini, who's pretty much our local version of Nazism, was imminent:
Interview with Biondini in 1991 by Mariano Grondona in his program "Key Time":
Grondona: "Would you condemn Adolf Hitler?"
Biondini: "No, we vindicate Adolf Hitler."
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Okay, question: is it possible to keep a secret on such a large scale for so many years? Well, the Math says no. Seriously! I've read that a physicist at the Oxford University (Where else?) took the "humans didn't go to the Moon" theory, and then this guy created a mathematical calculation based on the number of conspirators involved, the time elapsed since the conspiracy, and the inherent possibility that a plot would fail.
For example, in the case of Apollo 11, 411 thousand NASA employees were involved, and according to the variables this physicist analyzed, the lie should have been known in less than four years; half a century passed, and no employee denied the mission. What does this tell us? Well... they were threatened and killed off, of course! It's obvious! [imitating Mirtha Legrand] Stanley Kubrick was not in the coffin! Nobody saw him. Nobody saw him!
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Gimme more!
Famous people who are actually dead.
For example, Paul McCartney. On the cover of the album "Abbey Road", he's barefoot; a clear subliminal message that the real one died and was replaced with a stand-in. (Why?!) It sounds silly, but the rumour got so big that McCartney himself had to go out and publicly deny it... Although come to think of it, he also came out to congratulate the butchers who named their butcher shop "Paul Mac Carne" ["Paul McMeat"], so maybe he's truly a stand-in and, to top it off, looks like a raisin.
Excerpt of another video: "Well, thinking of different names, someone said "Paul Mac Carne". And well, he, being a vegetarian, says the idea was very good, started laughing and sent us a greeting."
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I love this one:
The Reptilians.
It's basically the theory that there's a race of amphibian aliens [Wait for a second: aren't they called "reptilians"?] living among us for centuries and hiding their reptilian features behind human faces.
(Oh, you were telling me they're not actually aliens because they were born here?)
Excerpt of the 1996 movie "Mars Attacks!".
And who discovered this? David Icke! Or "Ique". An unsuccessful former soccer player and sportscaster. (How can you be unsuccessful as a soccer sportscaster?! All you need is a suit!) It's like believing in a religion where your Pope is Diego Latorre.
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Now, I know what you're thinking: after all, how dangerous can all this get? I mean, no conspiracy theory has someone popular to represent it, no spokesperson of ridiculous and implausible plots has reached a truly important position in today's world.
Bah... There's actually only one.
The President of the United States of America.
That's right! Donald Trump, once the leader of the most powerful country in the world, had come to power mostly by throwing out fake news and conspiracy theories. And here are some:
Barack Obama is an immigrant.
Trump: "And I just say: why doesn't he show his birth certificate?"
Global warming is a myth.
Trump: "Obama is saying all of this has to do with global warming and I say all that is a hoax..."
Gisela Barreto was right.
Trump: "At two and a half years old, the baby, the beautiful baby, went to get the vaccine. Now he's autistic."
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Okay, then... Conspiracy theories. For what? Well, in the case of Trump: influence on public opinion and accumulation of power. In the case of people who upload videos to YouTube... What do you think? A profitable, monetizable business! In fact, there's the conspiracy theory that we're actually making this video about conspiracy theories in order to have lots of views and earn buttloads of cash. (We'd never do that!)
And finally, a much deeper, inherent aspect of the human condition:
The need to believe in something.
The world is divided into two types of people: some think everything happens for a reason, everything is a sign, and perhaps there's also a magical entity organizing things for us; the other half of the people think we live in a desolate world without meaning or messages, there are only atoms randomly colliding with each other, and the Universe gives no f***s about us. Which of these two groups seems happier to you? Which one do you belong to? Which one would you like to belong to? I choose to join the conspiranoids! And listen to this, I know exactly what's going on:
The New World Order organized the Lollapalooza at the request of the Illuminati, who wanted to marketingly manage Lali Espósito, who actually wears a mask and underneath is "La Mona" Giménez, who's not actually a monkey but a reptile and has drank all the wine to get immunized against the vaccines at the request of Gisela Barreto, who was born in Corrientes just like Barack Obama, who claimed to have killed Bin Laden, who's actually alive and was driving the car that crashed that night and carried Chano Charpentier, who taught driving to Lady Diana, who was actually Mexican and was assassinated by Donald Trump, who was matched on Tinder with Hitler, who lives in a nursing home in Recoleta and has glaucoma, so he's hitting the reefers with Biondini, who is actually a hippie and a fan of León Gieco, invented global warming and, when being in a bad mood, takes a bus and goes to dinner at "Paul Mac Carne", where they invented the extra-thin Provoleta cheese, which coincidentally has the same shape as the Earth, which is actually flat!
*sigh* Knowledge is power. Quiero creer.
Soundtrack: State Anthem of the Soviet Union.
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Velociraptors, Dilophosaurs and a Fallen Kingdom: A follow-up On The Canon Of Jurassic World Aftermath
Recently, we published an article exploring how we thought Jurassic World Aftermath may fit into the wider canon – with lots of speculation as to the role that characters like Dr Wu would play within the story. Now, we can follow-up on that article with some facts pulled straight from a session spent with the new VR Game. The footage to accompany this video can be found on our YouTube channel, and is courtesy of fellow Jurassic fan Brent Kappel, who actually appeared in Jurassic World as an extra!
Without any further ado, let’s break down some of the most interesting pieces of lore introduced within Jurassic World Aftermath. Spoilers ahead for anyone planning to play the game themselves.
The key thing on everyone’s mind is obvious – how are there more Velociraptors on the island? We learn, in Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, that Blue is supposedly the last of her kind – which makes her an invaluable asset for Doctor Wu and Eli Mills to obtain. Naturally, you may think that the inclusion of Velociraptors here in Aftermath takes away from this – but careful consideration has been made to think about where they slot into the story. The N.M.S Centre was an off-the-grid facility so to speak, in terms of the fact that the work they did at the facility was not well known by the other operatives working on Isla Nublar. In fact, mention of Owen Grady and Vic Hoskins is made at one point – acknowledging that neither of them knew about the existence of the programme. This suggests that the work being conducted at the N.M.S Centre was different to the work being conducted by Project IBRIS – and therefore was kept relatively quiet in comparison to InGen’s other project. 
But, you may be asking, why was there a need for a second Velociraptor project?
The answer boils down to the science and genetics of Jurassic World. We know that genetic modification has been a key story point for the latter films, and this is no different in Aftermath, with the work at the N.M.S Centre proving vital in allowing the geneticists at Jurassic World to continue to enhance how much they can augment the code of their dinosaurs. The NMS Centre, in particular, was working on the Velociraptor Genome, and was experimenting with areas like elevated social hormones, suggesting that they were taking the work which IBRIS had done, and seeing if they could tailor-make a Raptor which is more able to respond to commands – aka the latter Indoraptor. We also learn that work had been done to get the raptors to respond to audio prompts so they could come for feeding – again, building upon the idea of these being Raptors who can be more effectively trained and controlled. The way Wu is communicated throughout here as a narcissistic and egotistical character is very interesting, too, as it helps to sell his character as someone who is purely invested in his work without any of the ethical confines which may have otherwise held him back. The mission to recover the Velociraptor Genome ultimately takes a change of pace when, at the end of the game, it is revealed that we need to recover Blue’s DNA. Indeed, in this moment we learn that Blue’s creation seemed to be an accident. Wu was experimenting with monitor lizard polymer raised to promote parthenogenesis (asexual reproduction) when Blue was born – implying that she may be able to reproduce naturally in the current Jurassic World Dominion timeline.
So, how does all of this tie directly into Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, and the birth of the Indoraptor? Well, as we already know from the film, the mission to recover Blue is an important stepping stone in creating the Indoraptor. Therefore it is natural for us to assume that the events of this game are taking place parallel to the development of the first Indoraptor prototype we later see in the film – implying that the work and research recovered here factors in to the eventual creation of that animal. We get more concrete comparison of this being tied together through the fact that Mia and Sam actually have a direct link with Lockwood Manor in the latter part of the game – showing that Wu is indeed working with Mills at this point. It sounds as if Mills is in charge of the operation at this point in time, as Wu mentions him as overseeing the operations at several points. This suggests that the mission to Isla Nublar we see in FK’s opening is perhaps the climax of a long string of missions to recover different pieces of technology which were ultimately needed to continue Wu’s hybridisation work. The most interesting piece of lore here is that we learn that InGen had emergency backup systems connected on the mainland to Nublar – with Lockwood Manor being the emergency backup for the facility. This implies that rather than being a rogue faction, Mills and Wu may have still had some affiliation with InGen during the events of JWFK, although it could equally be implied that the connection existed from the Jurassic Park days when Lockwood was still involved in the parks.
There are a couple of other interesting bits of information strewn throughout the game. The first is that Wu begins to freak out when the character of Emelia (the geneticist helping with the in-game mission)  has a meeting with Simon Masrani in May of 2015. This allegation is taking to the InGen Board, with Wu pulling her up for insubordination towards a superior. This is interesting as Wu becomes very defensive and suggests that she may damage the work of both him and the board – implying that rogue elements inside of InGen may be working against the wishes of Masrani this whole time. Whilst this isn’t anything new per-say, it does provide interesting insight as to where people like Hoskins may have fit into a much larger game being played in the shadows by other entities in InGen. Of note, also, is the way Wu presents his work throughout these audio logs – implying that he is working on multiple projects which will change man’s understanding of the natural world. Much like we saw hinted within Camp Cretaceous, the implication here seems to be that Wu may have worked on many more projects than those we simply see on screen.
A couple of final bits of interesting information we wanted to highlight is to do with specific details inside the story. Firstly, we learn that Isla Nublar’s Jurassic World did, indeed, use a Geothermal Plant – and that the Dilophosaurus can be found nested in there. Whilst this game does take place two years after the titular film, it is entirely possible that they have been nested in them for some time – which may explain the lack of encounters with this particular dinosaur so far in Camp Cretaceous. In addition to this, we also learn that Nublar is under a UN Quarantine following the events of the Jurassic World incident – meaning that we are in a similar situation to that which we find in JPIII. The fact the characters only have one hour on the island suggests this may be more stringent, however. Another fun detail comes in a mention of the Monorail – with it being revealed that the Indominus tore through the monorail track at some point before the main street battle, explaining some of the damage and devastation inflicted upon Nublar between the incident and JWFK. There are also a few other moments scattered throughout – including a fun visual nod to the Jurassic Park Visitors Centre.
All of this comes together to make a piece of Jurassic media which is much broader and deeper in terms of canonical scope than I think any of us expected going into it. Whilst we remain hesitant about whether this will be a ‘canonical’ story or not, I think that there has been some great work here to build on core Jurassic concepts. The character of Wu is developed incredibly well, and the ties to Lockwood Manor and Mills are executed well, too – making enough sense when considered alongside the events of Fallen Kingdom. Overall, Jurassic World Aftermath appears to have a lot of value in building up some pre-established areas of the canon, whilst also building to the future. As mentioned in the article, the idea of asexual reproduction in Blue poses an interesting question for Jurassic World Dominion. A recorded speech from Ian Malcolm present in the game also talks about a course correction after we have meddled with science to this point – setting the perfect precedent for what we are expecting to see in the upcoming sequel.
What do you think? Are you surprised about how much lore is packed into Jurassic World Aftermath? Let us know in the comments below, and stay tuned for plenty more on all things Jurassic Park and Jurassic World here on The Jurassic Park Podcast. 
Written by: Tom Fishenden
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Blog Post #4 Intersectionality; Schmidt’s Funny, Flamboyant, and Sassy Personality
Media continues to improve upon the characters' representation because every viewer should have someone to relate to. New Girl shows a representation of race, class, and gender, which was mentioned in a previous blog post. Still, the producer Elizabeth Meriwether also incorporated representation of religion, body image, and identity. These are essential topics that should be covered in television shows because they are discussed every day. People should not be afraid to discuss these crucial conversations. Schmidt has the most representation throughout the show that many viewers can relate to.
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First, Schmidt is Jewish, so New Girl is continuously talking about religion because Schmidt loves his Jewish faith. Schmidt makes Jewish jokes throughout the show; he talks about how he loves matzo and his bat mitzvah. Mandy Berman writes, "His Jewishness, from the start of the show, is always prideful. He peppers his language with Yiddish, posts a heavily edited video of himself on his JDate profile, and proclaims an unabashed love for kosher yogurt. Any time there's a less-than-complimentary allusion towards his Jewishness, he's quick to call it out". Schmidt never fails to defend himself and enjoys his Jewish upbringing. In one episode called "Santa," the first scene shown is Schmidt decorating the loft for Christmas. Nick, Jess, and Winston discuss Christmas as a kid, and Schmidt chimes in and says how it was terrible for his reputation to tell kids Santa is not real. Schmidt may joke about being Jewish during Christmas; however, Jewish characters could relate when they were younger, keeping Santa a secret from children who celebrate Christmas. Schmidt mentions his Jewish religion many times throughout New Girl because he wants to make it known he is Jewish and normalizes being a different religion from his friends. Nick, Winston, and Jess never seem to make fun of his religion, but they may joke in response if he makes a joke.
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Second, Schmidt grew up as the "fat kid," and he did not have many friends growing up. So during episodes, Schmidt will discuss his past as being the "fat kid." Most of the time, he makes jokes about being fat and self-deprecating himself because he never wants to be at that stage of life again. In the show, his character is thin and dresses nice, so he mentions how he worked hard for his lifestyle and did not want to be fat. This is why he is a womanizer; he thinks that girls did not like him because he was overweight, so when he changed his lifestyle and became skinny, girls were more attracted to him. Now he sleeps around with women and treats women as objects because he believes he is superior to them. For some reason, being fat is a negative aspect of the show; he continues to make fun of himself when the show should have spoken positively about his life changes instead. Steve Sohn writes, "Thus, the mass media produces unrealistic images of the ideal body shape while sending out a false impression of how real and attainable these body shapes are. As a result, the media affects our own body perception and satisfaction through constant depictions of extremely attractive individuals. In other words, media depictions of such ideal body shapes increase the distance between our actual self-perception and our ideal self" (20). Viewers watching may find it funny, but it would be hard to relate for someone going through that struggle because he only talks about how great looking he is and how he never wants to go back to being fat. Landford Beard writes, "Greenfield said that Schmidt's weight loss "has a lot to do with who he is today" — for better or worse. "He thinks he's a different person now, but he's not. I think he was far more lovable and likeable when he was a little bit bigger. Now that he's lost the weight… he thinks he has to act a certain way. It doesn't always come off the best." Schmidt's whole attitude changed when he became skinny, and yes, the jokes may be funny, but he turned into someone who would bully him when he was younger. So, New Girl could have done a better job at representing body image more positively; however, that is Schmidt's character, and that's how he copes with it.
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Third, Schmidt makes a new definition of identity. In the show, Schmidt is a straight guy and goes after so many women. But, Schmidt is very flamboyant and likes nice things, so viewers may think Schmidt is gay or bisexual, but he sleeps around with many women; he redefines the stereotypical role of a womanizer. Most womanizers in sitcoms like Two and a Half Men drink all day and do not have a job, but Schmidt has a good job and only goes out on the weekends with Nick, Winston, Cece, and Jess; he enjoys buying lavish things. He comes across as very OCD, and in many episodes, he is controlling the situation by doing extra cleaning or cooking. New Girl does an excellent job at representing identity because Schmidt is a character that does it all, and viewers can relate a lot to Schmidt. He is a funny character trying to discover himself, what he enjoys in life, and controlling his friends. Schmidt is a character everyone can relate to because he is Jewish; he was the "fat kid," he overcomes body image issues and is successful in his career. He is stubborn and can be insulting overall; he means well and can be a character people look at positively. Schmidt wants to be the best and strives for it, which is very successful.
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Clip of “Santa” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdWWHcz81k8 
Best of Schmidt clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORhtyr1giw 
Citations:
Beard, Landford. “'New Girl': Max Greenfield talks Fat Schmidt flashbacks”. 21 Febuary, 2012. Entertainment https://ew.com/article/2012/02/21/new-girl-fat-schmidt-max-greenfield/.
Berman, Mandy. “An Ode to Schmidt, New Girl’s Revolutionary Jewish Character”. 15 May, 2018. Alma https://www.heyalma.com/ode-schmidt-new-girls-revolutionary-jewish-character/.
Sohn, SteveH. “Body Image: Impacts of Media Channels on Men’s and Women’s Social Comparison Process, and Testing of Involvement Measurement.” Atlantic Journal of Communication, vol. 17, no. 1, Jan. 2009, pp. 19–35. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/15456870802505670.
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