#this is the stuff that causes generational trauma

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

when ppl do parallels of the wittebane brothers with hunter and luz, hunter always parallels caleb and luz always parallels phillip and i know its bc luz looks and dresses more like phillip and hunter is literally calebs clone but!!!

every sibling pair weve explored in the show has a sibling who ran off to live their best life because they didn’t fit into polite society, and another sibling who had to live in the shadow of the first sibling, leading them to become a huge attention whore who makes a point of how well they fit into polite society to cope.

like almost EVERY pair of siblings have this dynamic. the most obvious is eda and lilith, but there’s also luz and vee. i’ve speculated about mattholomule and steve here. if you squint, you can even say edric and emira are both the ones who disregarded expectations to do whatever they want, while amity became the “overachieving good kid” to get attention. and phillip and caleb, especially with what we know about them now, DEFINITELY fits that bill. caleb was obviously the one who abandoned his life in the human world because he fell in love with a witch. meanwhile phillip spent 350 years to Get The Best Grade Ever In Witchhunting, because after caleb left, what else did he have?

(the only sibling pair that doesn’t really fit this dynamic is luz and king. although that’s probably just because i haven’t thought too much about their dynamic lol if anyone has luz & king brainrot like i have luz & hunter brainrot feel free to correct me)

but anyway, like in her relationship with vee, luz is obviously the one in the luz and hunter sibling pair to abandon her life because she couldn’t fit in. she’s the one who was led to the demon realm by the palisman of a clawthorne like caleb was. she takes the lead every time she goes on an adventure with hunter, even if hunter does more of the action stuff. she has a loving family in both worlds, and falls in love with a witch. she has a fascination with the culture of the boiling isles and its magic, and commits to living there because of that fascination

hunter, however, was the one raised to believe in the merits of hunting witches. young phillip latched onto the identity of witch hunter, because outside of caleb, he had no family. he had no social support without this identity. likewise, hunter latched onto the attention and purpose afforded by the golden guard position because it was an identity granted by belos, HIS only family, in a world where hunter’s lack of magic meant an otherwise meaningless and painful existence. hunter studies wild magic and palismen, but before he left the emperor’s coven, he insisted that the studies was for practical purposes, to fix his uncle’s curse. like phillip, hunter was split between the human and demon realms in thanks to them. he was a lot happier in the human world, but in the end, he still returned to the boiling isles, because his “mission” was more important.

luz never ran away from the stress taking care of a younger sibling, but she had the same sense of adventure and anxiety about her identity and future that caleb probably had. hunter didn’t become desperate to please the adults around him with a persona because he was abandoned by an older brother. but he was overshadowed by belos his whole life, seen as nothing but “the emperor’s nephew” just as phillip was probably seen as nothing but “caleb’s brother.”

their lives echo caleb and phillip’s, but hunter is kinder than phillip and more open minded. luz is more stubborn than caleb and convinced her brother to see reason where caleb’s brother never did. hunter is able to break away from his golden guard persona and decide on his own identity. luz is able to make peace with her life in the human realm and balance it with her life in the demon realm.

belos tried to raise hunter to be a “better version of caleb,” but he ended up raising hunter to be like belos himself. but hunter was able to find his own “better version of caleb” in luz, and became a “better version of phillip” in turn. unlike the wittebane brothers or the clawthorne sisters, luz and hunter’s relationship won’t end in betrayal.

#toh #the owl house #shut up pandora #toh meta #i should use that tag more often a lot of stuff i write falls into that #luz noceda #hunter toh #hunter noceda #phillip wittebane #caleb wittebane #should i tag the other sibling pairs theyre only vaguely mentioned #nah i wont theyre not as relevant #luz and hunter are siblings #with all the effort i put into writing dissertations on baby shows maybe i should study for my wastewater treament exam lol #anyway something something belos wanted to remake caleb but his generational trauma just caused him to remake himself #over and over #he wanted caleb back but he also wanted caleb to suffer the way he suffered as a child so now the golden guards all have phillip trauma #and he didnt know or want to acknowledge calebs trauma so he didnt get what made his brother tick either #he didnt want caleb he wanted the idealized version of caleb he saw as a child #the persona caleb displayed to him #an impossible superhuman that no one could have lived up to including caleb himself

[dan-crimes]

I love writers I love when they ramble on abt characters and their motivations, their core values and the reasons why they react to things in certain ways and having character interactions work off of each other due to their differing ways of viewing the world and in general I just love character analysis

#as someone who loves humans and human behaviours and figuring out why people react to things the ways that they do #uhhh I'm actually surprisingly really bad @ writing characters with those same traits 😅 #unless it is smth I can connect to on some sort of level like a few of my characters have issues that I specifically relate to #thereforee I can understand the ways they act in certain circumstances #BUT when it comes to characters that are like almost entirely outside of my wavelength it's pretty hard for me to understand how they work #and it's pretty basic habits and behaviours I just fuckin lack them in general #like the concept of clinginess or abandoment issues or wanting to stay around people who treat you badly or jealousy or missing people #also love like I understand my type of love but my type of love isn't typical from what I've seen from others #even some of my own past issues like dealing with trauma have kinda been lost on me especially bcuz I'm the type to ignore stuff #like I just ignored it til it came back to bite me in the ass and had to just kinda struggle with it and go completely numb #until I got tired of feeling that way and pulled myself outta it step by step and my various negative ways of thinking elude me #since I just gradually built myself up and rearranged my brain so that all negative thinking eventually turns into dust #whether be positive or purely neutral until I'm able to handle it better #REGARDLESS I try to get a sense of what these other traits are like and how exactly they work for people but it is VERY difficult for me #bcuz the stuff is just such an alien emotion to me like people get REALLY emotional about things that simply aren't a problem for me #and I wish I could understand why and what goes on in the brain that causes that but my brain just doesn't work that way #SOOO me trying to make characters of typical issues I see people having DOESN'T really work when I have no idea what's going on #like IN GENERAL my characters need to have more emotion behind them but the emotions I need them to have are #like I said before. something I totally lack ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I have no idea how to do it #I mean I think I need like a check list I need to make a list of traits my characters have in general cuz I never write anything down #it'd be easier to figure it out if I had words to go along with it and then I could figure out the behaviours behind those words #plus I need to draw my characters cuz I'm very much a visual person I can't get as good of a feel without some visuals along with it

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you. #I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible. #I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me. #I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth. #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely. #I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't... #I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away... #to this day... #I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that. #I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed. #“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again. #By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant. #I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did. #The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement. #Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF. #You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do. #I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs. #The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one. #I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time. #I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore. #And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry... #I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too... #vent

[tiercel]

I know it stopped being "trendy" a bit ago but i think ai for sure has killed liminal spaces/dreamcore/whatever you call it for good

#Ngl i am an unironic liminal aesthetic enjoyer but its hard to find content thats actually hand made like it used to be #Call it corny but i like surreal stuff & part of the draw was that it was an art to edit pics to be unreal and offputting #Now people just throw a sentence into ai ''art'' generators and makes ugly backrooms/poolrooms carbon copies its annoying #I need a different name other than liminal spaces cause that name is now associated with nu age hello kitty trauma aesthetics #Once again my only solution is to make another sideblog & curate my hyper specific tastes there #emf

[dirtytransmasc]

I honestly don't know if anyone else picked up on it since I haven't seen it mentioned, but there's a bit of a generational trauma theme in ATSV, and you see how it divides the characters.

Most of those that side with Miguel (and are aware of the Canon events, since its kinda established that not everyone knew) are those that are older while those that sided with Miles, or at least eventually did, are all younger, mostly teens and young adults.

It kinda shows how the different generations perceive suffering too, where the older generation sees it as necessary or inevitable where younger generations are more prone to pointing out what they see as needless suffering and break the cycle.

What I find a bit hilarious is that Miguel doesn't see the evidence that Canon isn't absolute right in front of him.

Mayday.

this this this.

I think for Miguel specifically, he is trying to justify his suffering, and the problems he causes, by saying suffering is necessary, that all spiders must go through a specific set of traumas. does this justify what he's done? no, but, it definitely explains his actions. older generations are notorious for this, trying to justify what they went through by insisting everyone has to go through it too. at the end of the day it's kinda heartbreaking, for both parties; one perpetuates not only others pain, but their own, the other faces all the consequences.

that's why I need the teens and Miguel to make up, so Miguel can start to heal, so he can let go of this mindset, cause no one should be stuck like that, even if they backed themselves into that hole, for everyone's sake.

my "canon events" theory is that, Miguel is only half correct. a dimension has predetermined events that would happen without some form of higher intervention; whether you know the canon and go out of your way to stop it from happening, meeting someone outside of your canon and having it lead to having a baby that would otherwise not exist, someone being in the wrong universe at the right time allowing you to save 2 people instead of one, etc. for some examples. breaking these events, on top of other things like opening unstable portals or having unstable anomalies in your dimension, stresses your timeline, and enough stress can cause breaks or even collapse. the big but, where I think Miguel is wrong, is that timelines can rewrite themselves, so long as they're given time to heal from the stress and the damages it caused go a dimensions structural integrity. so for example, mayday, a child who should not exist, was born, changing the timeline, but ultimately, the timeline recovered and no harm was done. I believe that Pavitrs dimension would be fine, so long as spots black hole (at least that's what I think thats what was going on in that scene, I've only seen it once, and I got lost on some scenes 😅) is removed, his timeline can heal, and everything will be (mostly, probably) fine. that would allow miles, mile 42s situation, and mayday to exist without breaking their dimensions.

#I need the generational trauma/pain of the spiderverse to be addressed cause its hurting my heart #I hate seeing them all suffer #like sure #miguel o'hara #may not be a great guy #but its so clear that hes hurting #that he is attempting to bend the world around his perceived understanding of the world in an attempt to cope #if he heals #those around him can heal/escape their soon-to-be trauma #atsv #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #dont attack me if my theories wrong #I'm not super well versed on this stuff yet #im just trying to make sense of what we saw in the movie #we know dimensions have collapsed #in miguels case it was because he was a long term anomaly that was constantly changing the timeline #so I think my theory covers all the bases #hopefully #anywho #hope this was coherent #I just started my summer job at a camp ive gone to/worked at for years now and spent all day with 7 year olds #im not completely coherent right now 😃👍

[b4kuch1n]

good luck w the testing and a happy early new year!!

thank you it's already happened when this was sent but we all did get one free point for the listening section bc the audio fucked up and we didn't get to hear the part with the last question's answer. but I will now think this is luck borrowed from the future when this ask was sent

#bakuspeech #ask #I tweeted a storm inbetween the written competencies (morning) and the speaking test (afternoon) lmao #but its on my wretched personal acc so it's for me. it's just for me #I dressed. and this is not me being unkind to myself. like a mister bean character to that test. like I got a woolen suit jacket on #with the dress shoes of mismatched laces. AND Ive been bald recently #honest to gods can Not tell how well I did in the written tests. like I finished all of them with at least ten minutes to spare #but it's because they kept putting a giant timer on the projector screen and it scared me so bad. delf trauma #the content of the test itself I straight up. dont know if its any good #the thing with me. that u can probably tell by idk looking at me and hearing me talk and stuff. is that I speak english but I am #VERY bad at tests #which makes any formalized english testing for me extremely fucking funny #and like it's supposed to be in the same structure as an ielts set of questions and apparently that means #they kept asking me to confirm or deny that the author of the text agrees with the statements they got in the questions #and I was sitting there like okay you made me read about weird phrenology shit and then you ask me this?? like are we asking #textual or contextual or. how deep into the rhetorics are we talking here. cause two of these three authors are certified weirdos #(yes the reading segment had three texts. one was about physiognomy and how there was definitely a grain of truth in there #one was about tea - this is the inconspicuous one - and the last one was about the potentials of toxinology #with a general vibe of pseudomedicine zeal to its writing. it's probs from a family magazine or something) #so straight up yeah I can defend my quiz answers to a judge but that does Not mean it's gonna be the one on the answer sheet yknow #kinda the same with the writing segment. where like they gave me an extremely easy to expand on subject and then a piece of paper #the length of a receipt. and that just. I could NOT parse the expectation of that setup #like I saw that and was like. so do you want me to do it badly? or do it so excellently I deliver all I think in like 100 words or less? #cause I'm capable of one of those things and the distinction is important here #and like. yes I know it's a language aptitude test. they're looking to know if I speak english #and I Have done something like this before multiple times just with a different language. but that was. idk I have never had a ladder here #I know I speak the language. YOU can probably tell I speak the language. would this test's result reflect that? I don't know! #it's a baffling experience. I'm still thinking about it the day after. tldr it's really not about the english for me it's about the testing #it's so. it's reflected so clear in the listening test where I missed an entire question (other than the one they gave us for free) bc #my brain just noped out of my body for three seconds and when I yanked it back the tape's already moved on

[floorpancakes]

i refuse to let clamp off the hook for underutilising himawari's fucking fascinating character setup and traits but on a less serious level im obsessed with the concept of her as an instigator of chaos.

like she's way less airheaded than she seems and it doesn't come off like Default Airhead Girl Behaviour or even Default Girl Companion That Ships Her Friends primarily (like not as hard as some other series by comparison I mean she's very I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE by default) specifically she just seems like someone that thoroughly enjoys being a little shit in a sincere way and giggling at her dumbass friends and has a shade of high emotional intelligence about it all. like she's just girl of all time. she's i don't know where im going with this just take this low effort meme from when i watched the holic stage play on youtube this isn't a coherent thought it's like 2am ill come up with better thoughts later

#ive seen kaguya sama and i know chika is a little bit rotted as a human being but we need to think about himas agent of chaos potential #this is all my personal intepretation but in general i find her a very cool character and working with the barebones framework is still fun #shes got so many interesting character traits #like how shes totally hooked on horror and spooky stuff more than the guys #but it has a distinct contrast with her deep fucking trauma and daily struggles with her curse-but-not-cause #theres smth that feels part coping mechanism part catharsis and part just straight up gap moe abt that #like....girl of all time #also her being depicted a lot either in rly bright sunny tones OR gothic lolita and no inbetween #i mean the joy of holic is everyone is basically posable dolls dressed up in whatever outfits you want but like its still a theme #and like we are given tidbits and small bits and pieces of her personality and interests and its not enough but its rly cool to think abt #they underused her frfr but what we do learn in how she reacts to stuff and bounces off other characters is so AAA #its wild how shes kinda a main character but kinda not in such a deeply fleshed out character driven story #i know shes a key player w loads of strong emotional moments but shes overshadowed a lot and it makes me wanna write mad headcanons #i find myself wondering how she copes day to day with her situation and how itd impact her personality around other people and self image #IDK you could write entire books abt her #but mostly: shes sillay #shes a little bit of a blank slate fill in the gaps but my brain is more than happy to supplement vibes and guesses #hima does not read as het to me because queer friendship groups work on stand user logic #i have a few fic ideas where it deep dives on her life as an adult and her push and pull w social interaction #but its early days on that so any details would b not very interesting past the conceot stage lol #i rly gotta get my ass to writing more fic but brain is a fuck writing longform is haaard unless its like idk visual novel formatting #anyway this is just nothing im not aiming for interaction here i just have half baked thoughts abt himawari the girl of all time #also hima kinda goes through hell and back so doing her dumbass 3 person comedy routine w her dumbass frisnds must be of big fuckin solace #its like that post about just being a girl who wants to have fun . she wants to have fun w friends #AND THAT IS OK justice for hima idk i love her even if she got the short end of the stick for deeply long term focused character writing

[designernishiki]

I started writing down my hcs about the chronic symptoms of kiryu and haruka from their respective head traumas in y6 and, unsurprisingly, it turned out way longer and more narrative than I meant it to be so. not sure what to do with that

#rambling #I guess i’ll post it I just have to like. maybe format it a little better #believe me I have Many Thoughts about this. about lingering pains and other symptoms and whatnot in General really but I happen to know #alot about long term post-coma/head trauma issues cause of my own writing related stuff #so that’s where my mind went immediately

[and-stir-the-stars]

Hihi, I LOVE how you write Michael Afton being traumatized because I am very normal and have very normal tastes in writing.

I'm curious, was there ever a time in any au where Mike's confusion over a stressor was almost as intense as the upset itself? The whole having to process trauma later bc it wasn't able to be processed in the first place is such an interesting topic

Sorry, I don't quite understand the question being asked here as it's being phrased, but I'm glad you like how I write Mike! He's a fun character to tangle with, and I'm proud of how he turned out in most of my fics :)

#i feel like in general he doesn't understand why stimuli will cause him to react the way he does to stuff #he's been so conditioned by abuse and neglect to react in certain ways that it's become an instinct he doesn't notice and isn't aware #until after the fact if he ever becomes aware that he was stressed or had a trauma response to said stress at all

[temper-temper]

If/when you have kids, what motherly skill do you think will be important?

This one I’ve been thinking about for weeks

there are so many skills that are important to have and keep in mind when raising little ones, but one that I think a lot of people forget about is to be patient. Little kids honestly cannot fully understand how their little brains work and why they are upset- helping to teach them how to regulate their emotions is extremely important and so is making sure you remain a safe place for them to bring their issues. The last thing you want is your kid to do something that will hurt them because there wasn’t enough of a bond to which they could feel safe asking advice.

You should also keep in mind that they aren’t your friends- they are your children- there is a level of professionalism that you should try to keep as a parent so that your little one doesn’t end up in a bad state. For example- don’t vent to your child like you would your spouse, your child isn’t emotionally adapt enough to handle your emotional load at LEAST till they are an older teen but even still I wouldn’t. As well- be careful what you say because some of those things will have a huge lasting impact.

I remember two things from when I was little (11-14) that my mom would comment on and say that to this day truly hurt me and effect how I treat others

“You are being a hypocrite”

”Your interest in the military is weird”

I most likely was in fact being a hypocrite but I was also a 12 year old girl going through some pretty tough trauma and not understanding why I felt the way I left. As well yes, I was very extra about my interests as a child- being cats, behaviors, history, etc. but to have your own mother put you down for it leads to a lot of pain.

things are definitely better now but there is still some things that hurt a lot and it all stems from the fact that in my relationship with my own mother, she lacked this understanding that I was in fact a child who didn’t have a developed enough brain to be able to understand what I was doing and to help her.

At the end of the day from what I’ve seen through my own life and through parenting videos and such- to be patient and understanding to the mental level your child is at in different stages of their life are some extremely important qualities to have as a mother.

This doesn’t however means you should be a pushover allowing your children to walk all over you- it’s all a take and give and you learn with time

#In addition- I’m not angry with my mom #Did this stuff hurt as a child and does it still effect our relationship #Definitely but I was her first child and she and I went through a lot of hurt that would cause such things #I swear a really amazing God who took my trauma and pain and made me better for it #So honestly I don’t regret a minute of the hurt I went though #Now I can be a better mother #And if I can do better and my children can do better and their children can do bettee #Better* #in a few generations we will have the best mothers and fathers ever! #mod talks #ask #answer #tmi tuesday #My God is so good- look how He’s helped me through my life #I’m so grateful He called me out #That He healed me #Someone ask me my testimony one day it’ll be a blast haha #And He is still working today in everything- I don’t have to fear the future anymore #Thank you King Jesus for saving me #allow me to do my part in spreading the word of Your kingdom

[severalsmallwizards]

someone tagged that as komaeda. you could not be more wrong

#oniongarden #Not to care about things i like on main but like the whole point of him having the lying disease is that hes not normally like that #and being misunderstood like that causes him despair... He literally only ever lies outside of the involuntary stuff #is when he tries really poorly to go back on opening up to hajime about past trauma LIKE #sorry if i messed up some of the details i know im generally right abt this but it is like 5am. im sleepy #and i need to continue playing dr... but i really wanna stream it bc its more fun w friends to be insane with

[jack-owo-valentine]

I want the uwu soft boy like can do no wrong persona, but like with depth, like with real actual understanding I can do wrong and evil things u know

#like genuinely I really LOVE the aesthetics of the froggy hat n dyed hair n cutesy uwu pastel stuff #but i also want the nuance #i reallly hate how often times like #awful that aesthetic can be when it comes 2 peoples actual personalitys #u know #i want the look and even the like higher voice n generally cuts uwu everything #but w/o the like #violent racism and like agressive therapy speak n shit n acting like i could never do wrong #like its very annoying wanting 2 look and act a certain way #but not like- claim or engage w/ like #the general demographic that also does bc like #man- i just dont wanna personally cause people trauma and be a shit head and like then go uwu but im so so smol i couldnt hurt anyone x3 #i wanna go like #x3 perhaps we could #maybeeee #help palestine 🖤🖤 #n think about how our words affect eachother? x3

[gurorori]

um

#alway feel weir ab puttin my age range jnto my carrds/rentrys cuz its like #ik ppl kinda don givr a shiiiiiiiiit #n ik alot of systems don find alter age bein helpful as a concept at all even whrn it come 2 littles #but.. a big portion of our system is wildly different in their maturity level in regards to our body age? #wr only have one kiddo little n shes very small but we also have a few middles (which i sumtimes consider myself as well) #idk why it such a rejected concept sumtimes #like im nwt bein ableist to myself by describin myself in an accurate way #if non systems can have stuff like age regression (which. ithink. littles r pretty much the same thing in a different wrapping n with the #added aspect of did) #ithink its very handy 2 refer 2 especially as ya grow older #at least in spaces i feel safe 2 #cuz once our body left my personal age range j been feelin WEIRD. i feel really pressured still cause like im an adult but imealso nawt #even outside of my own self. sure we have a 20yo brain + so on but we r So stunted by trauma i don think i ever feel like our body is past #the age of like. 14. its kinda terrifyin too. #but yea um.. alter age is good if its a helpful tool for ya.. if it aint please keep yr mouth shut.. its purely a self descriptor & no onr #forcin ya to put a label onto yrself if ya feel it don fit #personally i id wjth like a general 16-18ish but it fluctuates. nawt sure if id say am an age slider cuz the change is quite insignificant

[itsgwencayyye]

Been thinking a lot about the queer rep of the qsmp and like how much i appreciate characters saying full stuff about being only into women, or liking men, or being gay in general. Like I remember distinctly during the first movie night is when it first hit me. The milk carton animatic was playing and it ends with qcellbit and qroier kissing at the wedding. And like i remember physically looking away and preparing to see one or both of them be really uncomfortable or joke about it. But they were really happy about it instead and I felt like just weird relief from it. Cause like yeah mc smp's tend to be very homoromantic, but everyones tends to be very almost prudish about wanting those relationships to be shown or go anywhere or be drawn kissing and stuff like that( At least in previous smp fandoms I've been in). Then, although it was before that moment, cellbit saying "I want to be gay and happy" although funny, it's just so nice to hear the word and have it not be a joke or not danced around cause someone's uncomfortable with it. Like the character likes men and wants to be gay and happy, simple as that. Then you have q!bagi saying that she's only interested in women, and liking melissa, but not roier, even though they're the same person. Then there's q!fit who told Ramon "I'd prefer another dad for you" and just how much knowing his backstory that being canonically a gay man adds to his characterization(i could write like a 5 page paper on that alone). And on top of it all it's the language and seriousness of all the relationships as well. Foolish and Vegetta were calling each other boyfriends, and 'my love', people go on dates and talk about what they want out of their relationship and how they're feeling about it, and like it's even normal for a lot of the couples to normalize implying or just having straight up sex (thanks for the trauma slimeriana and maxpierre/lh). Like I know I'm rambling, but, it genuinely means so much to like have the queer romance be explicitly queer and also more than just a joke. Like in ways I didn't realize at first, but it's kinda fucking awesome.

#qsmp

[hauntedbythenarrative]

Very depressed vent in the tags

#sometimes idk how i should go on with life #like #italy didn't need a fascist government #sometimes i think the only way out is death #at this point nothing makes sense #i enjoy nothing #everything is pain and the world keep getting worse and worse #and i don't want to live in a stew thanks to global warming #my therapist says that in general everyone rn needs to persevere (?) i'm too sleep deprived to search it on google translate #but why should i persevere? for what? a future where i have even zero rights than now and no job perspectives #and my region had become a desert #i don't want to live in that future #sometimes i think the best year of my life was 2017-2018 and that's it i can never have something like that ever again #i can't even enjoy the stuff i enjoyed before uni and all the trauma it caused me #i just hate everything and myselfnand everything i did and every choice that took me here and there isn't much to do about it #antidepressants never worked anyways so #and rn i'm also having a lot of problems with being lesbian (luckily nothing related to catholic guilt i never had that kind of stuff) #more like i have a reptilian brain not used or made to be around people and it's complicated and this vent is already long #and tumblr tags have a limit #i finished peach soju so i can only make myself herbal infusions #it's a messy vent ik i'm sorry #emma and her stupid vent

[garfieldsladybird]

I had a realization and a breakdown because of a Taylor Swift song called mine… I always listen to the song. but I just broke down at this one part- *sniffles*

And I remember that fight, two-thirty am,

'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands

I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye,

'Cause that's all I've ever known

Then, you took me by surprise,

You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water, And every time I look at you, it's like the first time, I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter, She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

— The bold is what broke me! kind of forget the middle lines in the last part because it’s like- ngl messed up but it’s beautiful! all of this is. but wow. I don’t know if I want to share what I learned and why i cried. i just was just like wait- and then i started listening to the lyrics, making the connections and I fucking started crying. because- ABHHHHHH wow this is crazy 😜

#im not going to overshare. #i honestly haven’t really overshared here (there was a few times in like may i think) but those were vents. #and with the word oversharing what i mean is like oversharing of trauma. #I haven’t necessarily like over shared that stuff. #garfield talks #I do it to guard myself. that’s kind of what I realized. but because of the trauma I’ve always expected people leaving & #because I haven’t really listen to the lyrics though i’ve never made a connection to it and so i have now. #basically it just took me by surprise that it was switched up. and the ‘braced myself for the goodbye cause that’s all I’ve ever known‘ #and that pulled at my fucking heartstrings man #and then the last part is so cute!! I love it and I love how she sings it too!! #garfields high ᴥ︎ #garfields songs 🎙 #oh but now that I have realize this I made this connection why I cried was because it switched up. #but also bc I always expect people to leave. it’s a sad understanding. but I understand why I have it. going with this —- #- I overthink a bunch of shit and not only realize that but I never knew why. might be anxiety or I just create this day dream land for the #feel. anyways I don’t know where I was going with this… #too high #— 𖨆𖨆 = ♡︎ #Let’s just say this it has to deal with me and my partner. and also just relationships in general. #it’s not necessarily bad it’s kind of a good realization because now I can work on this and I could open up a little. #because now I feel better #if you read all of this you’re a real one! and I love you with all of my heart <3333 #Spotify