#this is why i am the way i am
JASON SUDEIKIS - offCAMERA WITH SAM JONES.
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heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point
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Elsa exploring the forest with Honeymaren for the first time.
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SEOULMATES — 방찬 & 필릭스
UNIT MINI ALBUM
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Wait your tags!!! How would the ROs deal with MC is going on a semi-long trip away from them??
Oof, the missing the MC vibes this brings up with the possibility of it impacting some ROs more than others because you left (again) makes me thoughtful.
B is the most okay with it, but asks that you call/text when you get to your destination safely and if you have time, they would like to video call with you, etc. They will likely send you good morning texts and goodnight texts even if your time zones differ; B wants you to know that they are thinking of you.
S helps you get ready for the trip and is the type to slip notes or your favorite snack into your bag so you will think of them while away. They want you to have reminders of them.
R will hesitate when you leave, asking for one more kiss or hug. They may draw out the departure with questions about logistics or if you are certain everything is properly arranged as if they can buy time or stall. R is the type to stand by the curb of the street or in the airport terminal for a moment, even though your car/plane has already left...
J is supportive and is there to drop you off/help you pack, but also tends to linger by you and may be a little quieter than usual. You will have to break their handhold so you can leave on time.
Best wishes! 💚
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i would give anything to see brants reaction to watching these episodes shitting on him when he gets home
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i don’t know why Leon and Eternatus is making me so mad. fucking Leon? Leon in a crop top with the Pokemon his unhinged boss unfairly expected him to tame and manage on his own, and lost to in a big way in the story??? uAAGGh get this man out of here
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flipping through I Am Not Starfire and am legitimately baffled at how awful the writing is. Like...I like Mariko Tamaki's writing. I loved her Cass short and I've enjoyed her Tec run. Not only is IANS bad, it reads nothing like her normal writing voice. It's utterly bizarre.
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i feel like i might offend or hurt ppls feelings when i'm jokingly mean- i never mean to . . .
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Now for a new, fun feature I’m going to call “Disneyland eBay Expedition”
Where I am going to find some things on eBay that are interesting or funny or even way overpriced
Today’s topic- Those just bags
I don’t know why but I keep stumbling onto these listings that are just bags that are super overpriced
I know not all of these are specifically “bags” but I decided to include the cups and popcorn buckets because I feel like they fit the theme very well still...
I know some of these bags look really nice and they are old and somewhat collectible but I feel like they are priced very ridiculous.
How do you guys feel? Do you collect the bags/cups/popcorn paper holders? Are these reasonable prices? Let me know!
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Well. Tomorrow the Hellbox server discord will be closed. Some channels will remain active but others will be locked and preserved. The server will stay but but there is world files available to download to any who wish to have it for single player usage. Please DM me if you want a copy.
To anyone who played or enjoyed the content on tumblr or the server, thank you. I hope this is for the best and I hope you have safe travels to wherever you may go. Stay safe 💙💙💙
As one of the mods there is a statement below the read more which will be me being honest for once.
Ok, so this will be a lot less official than whatever that was. So currently I am wrapped up in blankets. It’s 9:42pm on Wednesday evening. I don’t know why I put this here, maybe as a reminder or something- I don’t know.
Alright, I’d like to start off by saying that I am in no way trying to make this a pity party. If it does at any point I am sorry. Also forgive any typos I have big thumbs.
So first off, I take full accountability for how messy the Hellbox discord got. In no way was it acceptable and OK for it to have gotten that bad. I did not do my job as a mod correctly nor was I fit or ready for the position. I favored a quick and easy solution over actual confrontation because I was scared. I didn’t do my job and that resulted in many people being hurt. This sounds like a youtuber’s half hearted apology but please bear with me.
My mistakes caused a lot of damage emotionally and for that I am so, so sorry. Its hard to convey over text but I truly am. I’m sorry to everyone who got hurt by my ignorance. I was unable to correctly enforce or moderate the discord which caused a lot of harm. It’s such a shitty thing to have happen and from a Minecraft server of all things.
I do take full accountability for this. I made mistakes and I recognize that. I am young, but not a kid. I should have recognized and acted and really tried to be a good mod. I was not.
To be honest I never expected it to get bad. It was originally going to be a silly server but it got lore. And more people, a lot of people. It was fine for a bit and then things just… Started to crumble. I was unprepared for this and through me not being prepared or… I forget the word- Either way it ended badly.
Again, to anyone who has left, is leaving, or is thinking about it. I’m sorry. I should have been a better mod and I should have cultivated a better experience for you. It was supposed to be my job but I ended up with an imploding server and a bitter taste in my mouth.
But I would also like to thank anyone who has spoke up about their feelings towards the situation, the mods, or anything. Either on the discord or here. I appreciate your honest no matter how brutal. It was needed and I needed to hear it.
I should end this up, it’s getting long. Well. I’m not sure how I’ll think of this tomorrow or anything. Its late after all. I just wanted to put.. I don’t know, something out there. I really am sorry it had to end like this. It sucks. But I hope things get better from here.
I definitely learned an important lesson and I won’t be modding any big server for a long time. Not even just that I’m a bad mod, but I learned that forsaking confrontation and solutions for peace is a shitty way to run a server. And that I should really be better at reading my own rules. But again, I am sorry. I hope that whatever you do next is fulfilling and enjoyable. I hope it’s good and fun and just- I hope you find something happy.
Once again I’m sorry. I hope it’ll be better. At some point. Anyways, goodnight Hellbox. I hope you have a good one.
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The Bonesmith, Baghra and Aleksander
So here’s the next instalment of I noticed something interesting during my rewatch of S&B that nobody else likely cares about but well I’m sharing it with you all anyway. Also there are some book spoilers in here so tread careful if you haven't read them and don’t want to be spoilt.
So whilst rewatching ep 3 I caught onto something the Apparat said that I thought was kind of interesting about the Bonesmith, something that I think can tell us alot about Aleksander and Baghra’s relationship but also Baghra’s motivations for separating darklina in episode 5.
Anyone who has read the books will know that the Bonesmith is actually Ilya Morozova who is Aleksander’s grandfather. He was one of the first grisha and a very powerful fabrikator who created the amplifiers. What I thought was interesting was that the Apparat explains why the Bonesmith created the amplifiers in the first place which I don’t believe this is explained in the books but correct me if I am wrong as I am only half way through the third book. The apparat says ‘He (the bonesmith) knew that the grisha would always be prosecuted and so he worked on a plan to magnify their power.’ This obviously suggests that Ilya Morozova saw the grisha’s suffering and wanted to do something about it, in fact he becomes obsessed with it, with creating the amplifiers. I can’t help but wonder if this is why Aleksander is so convinced that its Morozova’s amplifiers that will help make grisha safe. Why he is so obsessed with them and finding them because he knows that protecting the grisha is exactly what they were made for in the first place.
It could also explain why Baghra is so against Aleksander finding them and his obsession with them, also why she is so against Aleksander wanting to help the grisha and why she has much more of a just leave them to it you’re more important anyway, kind of attitude about the grisha’s plight. Her father’s obsession with the amplifiers is what lead to Baghra feeling so isolated in her childhood and also what lead to her family being torn apart. Baghra’s story is just as tragic as Aleksander’s and has some eerie similarities. She grew up feeling ignored and neglected by both her parents, her father was too obsessed with creating the amplifiers to pay his family much attention and her mother was so afraid of Baghra’s powers that she kept her distance and paid alot more attention to Baghra’s younger sister. Until one day her sister broke one of her toys and in anger and jealousy Baghra lashed out with the cut and killed her sister. Her father was able to use his fabrikator abilities and merzost to bring her sister back from the dead. The villagers upon seeing this miracle decided to chain up her father and sister and throw them both into the river to drown. Baghra and her mother flee but her mother was too traumatised by the events to keep going and in the end Baghra abandons her in the woods out of desperation to survive and finds her way to a farm. The people there took her in and put out a search party for her mother but they never found her and it is assumed she starved to death in the woods. Even with her feeling neglected by her family this is still a very traumatic thing for Baghra to go through and it all happens when she is a young girl. Unfortunately I do believe she passed her trauma onto her son and in the end she ends up becoming the neglectful parent herself and makes her son feel as isolated and alone as she did growing up. Also don’t know how relevant it is but both Aleksander and Baghra used the cut for the first time as a child and in both instances it was against another child/ children which you know tragic, just loads of tragedy in the lives of the Morozovas.
I really do think that alot of the reason why Baghra acts against Aleksander so much in his pursuit of saving the grisha is because of her experiences with her father. In episode 7 when Aleksander talks about using merzost to create an army to protect the grisha from the old king just like Morozova used merzost to create, Baghra tells him he’ll die just like Morozova did. This is obviously something she fears. If you look at it from her perspective at this time she was watching her son being hunted by the king, a king who wanted her son dead because he was afraid of how powerful Aleksander’s powers were. This is very similar to what happened to her father, the people feared his power and they killed him for it. In R&R she tells Alina ‘Ravka was different then. Grisha had no sanctuary. Power like ours ended in fates like my father’s.’ Whilst Baghra was often cold towards Aleksander I do think she loves him and he is the most important thing to her so seeing her son seeming to follow in her father’s footsteps terrifies her and so she decides to do everything in her power to stop him.
However this just drives a wedge further between them. Protecting grisha is something that Aleksander cares deeply about. Whilst Aleksander might be the most important thing to Baghra, the grisha are the most important to Aleks. And Aleksander believes two things, that the answer to protecting the grisha lies in Morozova’s amplifiers and Alina. They together are the key. I do find it very interesting that Morozova’s and Aleksander’s goals were very similar, they both want to make things better for the Grisha. They both also become obsessed with this goal and the amplifiers as a solution. Aleksander has that added level of obsession with the sun summoner, maybe he believes this was the missing piece to the amplifiers, the amplifiers have been created and now they need someone to wear them, the sun summoner. I think Aleksander sees him being the one to find the amplifiers and along with the sun summoner using them to protect the grisha as a way of completing his grandfather’s work. Also its worth noting that Aleksander never knew his grandfather who died before he was born and he also never knew his own father, his mother never even tells Aleks his father’s name the only thing that is known about him is that he was a powerful heartrender. From reading Demon in the Woods its obvious that Aleks feels this void of his absent father. He never really has a father figure in his life. Back then sons would often following in their father’s footsteps, would go into their father’s trade, inherit their farm, or blacksmith shop etc. Those same trades were likely the trades of those boys’ grandfathers as well and so those boys grow up to continue on the family legacy. But Aleks has no trade or skill to inherit because he has no father. That is until he learns of his grandfather's plans. I think Aleksander sees his search for the amplifiers and making sure they are used for what they were intended to be used for as him kind of going into the family trade. Its a weak link but it is still a link to a male family figure and that makes him feel more like the other boys he grows up around. As isolated as he is from them, as different as he is from them, in this way he is the same because he too is continuing his family’s legacy. Also slight side note here but another thing I noticed that I thought was quite telling is that there are two grisha that Aleks seems to respect and admire for their skills and who he kind of defends against others, Ivan and David. When he senses disdain from Alina towards Ivan he makes that joke about how he is actually quite funny when you get to know him, essentially defending him and it is obvious that Ivan is Aleksander’s righthand man and that Aleks has alot of respect for him. Also when David says he can track Alina using the ring, Aleks says he’s proving the many uses of a durast. More so in the books than the show but the other grisha do consider fabrikators to be somewhat useless and the weakest of the grisha a view that Aleksander doesn’t seem to share. What I find interesting about this is that the two grisha he seems to admire (outside of Alina obviously) are a heartrender and a fabrikator the two ‘trades’ of his father and grandfather.
But I also think Aleksander has some complicated feelings about his grandfather. I do think he admires Morozova but I think a little part of him also resents being his descendant. I said in my Darkling Analysis post that when Aleks was talking at the fountain about being the descendant of the most hated grisha in all of Ravka he might not have been outright lying to Alina. That he might have been talking about someone else not the black heretic (obviously because he is the black heretic). At the time I wrote that analysis I hadn’t read the books but now that I have I think I might have been on to something. I think in that moment he was talking about his grandfather who before the black heretic was the most hated and feared grisha in all of Ravka. It’s because of this and because of the nature of their powers that Baghra forces Aleks to hide his true identity to the point where he begins to worry he’ll forget his own name. I can well believe that as a boy he would run away and hide there and throw a coin to wish he could be anyone else, someone who wasn’t Ilya Morozova’s grandson, someone who didn’t need to hide all the time and could just be a normal boy.
Next I want to talk about episode 5 and Baghra’s motivations for separating Aleks and Alina. As I’ve mentioned above I really do think that Aleks believes Alina is the key to the amplifiers and that they were meant for her. I also think that Baghra knows this too. But I also think the books can give as another clue into her motivations. In S&S when Alina meets Baghra again Baghra is very angry with Alina because instead of running and getting on the ship Baghra organised for her, Alina went after the stag and got caught and collared. Obviously in the show it happens slightly different and the thing that Alina does differently is running on her own instead of waiting in the store room for others like Baghra told her too, but its still the same idea of Alina not following Baghra’s plan. But the reason why she is angry is because she feels like because of Alina he has lost his humanity. In the books Baghra explains her actions by saying:
Baghra pounded the floor with her stick. “I wanted to keep him from becoming a monster! It’s too late for that now, isn’t it? Thanks to you, he is further from human than he’s ever been. He’s long past any redemption.”
“Maybe,” I admitted. “But Ravka isn’t beyond saving.”
“What do I care what happens to this wretched country? Is the world so very fine that you think it worth saving?”
Baghra’s goal was to stop her son from becoming a monster and I again think this stems from what the villagers did to her father and just the attitude others, including other grisha, have had towards her and her son because of their powers. The villagers saw her father as a monster because of the power he possessed and how he was able to bring his child back from the dead. Pretty much everyone saw her and her son as monsters because of their powers, including Baghra’s own mother. I do think because of her trauma she has come to associate being a monster with their powers or having alot of power. Also the passage above shows that she doesn’t really care about Ravka so that’s not what is driving her. I think she has been let down and mistreated so many times by the people of Ravka, both otkazat'sya and grisha alike, that she has the attitude of they never helped me so why should I want to save them. I think her experiences have made her very angry at the world and so she doesn’t think it is worth saving. So in episode 5 when she says that they cannot let Aleksander obtain that kind of power I don’t think its because she is worried what it will mean for the world. It’s because she fears two things, one that if he obtains that power people will become more afraid of him and want to kill him like the old king did in the past and like the villagers did with her father. The other fear is the one she talks about above, she’s afraid he’ll become a monster and that he will lose his humanity. I think she fears this because on some level she feels like that’s what happened to her. That she became so detached and angry at the world that she stopped caring about anything but Aleksander. I mean she has done some monstrous things in her life, for example in Demon in the Woods she helps slaughter an entire village of innocent people including woman and children because she wants to protect her son. I think she knows how good intentions can lead you down a dark path and she doesn’t want that to happen to her son. Ironically I would actually argue that its her interference in separating Alina and Aleks that helps push him down that path.
We know that Baghra thinks its Alina that is pushing Aleks further from humanity and I can’t help but wonder why she would think this. I mean in my opinion Alina is what pulls him back to his humanity and I’m pretty sure this is book canon too. I haven’t read it but I’ve seen this quote from ROW going around “Why did you go to her?" Because with her he was human again.’ I think the reason why Baghra thinks Alina will push Aleks away from his humanity partly stems back to this idea Aleks has of using the sun summoner and the amplifiers together to expand the fold in an attempt to keep grisha safe. I think she fears that Aleks will keep doing more and more monstrous things in an attempt to reach his goal because she knows that teaching him that he was the most important and the only one that matters and by teaching him to stay isolated and separated by society she has made him less caring, less empathetic and therefore less human. She also knows that Aleks believes the sun summoner is the key so she thinks without Alina he can’t go through with his plans and so she attempts to remove Alina from the equation by convincing her to run.
Obviously Baghra’s version of how and why the fold was created is very different than what happened and I think the reason why is because she knows that Alina cares about Aleks and so in order to convince her to leave him she decides to try and scare her in to it. If she tells Alina that Aleks accidently created the fold whilst grieving for his lost love and trying to protect his people who are being hunted and killed and now he wants to expand the fold because he thinks that will scare their enemies into not killing and torturing grisha, well it might not be enough to get Alina to leave. Alina might decide that Aleks’ aim is a sympathetic one and that there is still enough humanity in him to try and save him. Instead she tells Alina that her son is a power hungry monster who created the fold for his own gain, who is going to enslave her and expand the fold, who doesn’t care about Alina at all and who has spent an eternity manipulating girls to his scandalous whims and dark desires. The image she paints of Aleksander is much more frightening and plays into all of Alina’s fears and insecurities. Look I really hated that Baghra did this but I also think it is important to remember that Baghra really does believe that she is protecting and saving her son. I don’t think she’s doing it out of maliciousness or because she wants her son to fail and doesn’t want him to be happy. She just believes because of her own experiences that if he continues the path he’s is taking then the world will turn against him again and he’ll be brutally killed. She knows that Alina is a powerful weapon and so to her the logical step in preventing her son from going down this path is to take Alina away from him.
As to whether Baghra knew how much Aleks cared about Alina before she intervened, I’m not sure. I’m in two minds on it to be honest because a part of me thinks she was really convincing when she told Alina that Aleks was manipulating her and had done so with other woman in the past, which makes me think maybe she really did think Aleks was just manipulating Alina and was only interested in her for her power. But then on the other hand during their conversation in episode 5 when Aleksander says that Alina is all that matters now and that she is the one, Baghra doesn’t seem surprised by this which would suggest that she knows that Aleks’ feelings run deeper. I will say that even if she did know that Aleks cared deeply for Alina, I mean personally I think it was pretty obvious that by the time of the winter fete he’s head over heels in love with her, it wouldn’t have mattered a great deal in regards to her plan. In fact I think it might even have made her even more determined to separate them and I think this is because of Luda. As mentioned above Baghra fears her son will lose his humanity and become a monster. Aleks loved Luda very much and it was losing her that was the catalyst, or part of it, that lead to the creation of the fold. Therefore I think Baghra would consider Aleks loving anyone a danger. It’s all very good and well her son knowing the delights of love but what if he loses that person? What monstrous thing will he create next? Baghra has always believed that keeping her son isolated and hidden is what will keep him safe which is why she tells him to run and hide and get a new name in the flashback in episode 7. Just as protecting the grisha is what drives Aleks, protecting Aleksander is what drives Baghra.
So yeah that’s my I've thought waay too much into this analysis of the Morozova family and its effect on why darklina were torn asunder. At least until the next instalment of ooh that’s interesting I never spotted that before.
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Every time, man
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you’re still the one i want to talk to when everything goes wrong
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After the war is over
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0123 happy birthday hanguang-jun!
[not really bday art but,,,,oh well :D~!]
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Hold on. You've been chased by cows?!
Yes, and not any kind of cows, they were Salers cows
But in the cows defense, we were the 7 years old idiots running around in THEIR field, and I think they had a lot of calves, so they were just protecting themselves against potential threats. We had it coming. Let me tell you, it’s not Fun to be chased by half a dozen of THESE…
…especially not when they are twice your size.
BUT LISTEN I’VE LIVED IN THE COUNTRYSIDE ALL MY LIFE, I’VE SEEN SOME SHIT. I ALMOST GOT MOWED DOWN BY A FORAGE HARVESTER, AT LEAST 3 TIMES THAT I CAN REMEMBER OF. THESE FUCKERS ARE SO BIG THEY BARELY FIT ON THE ROADS AND DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE BIKING IN FRONT OF THEM, THEY WILL NOT FUCKING STOP, THEIR DRIVERS ARE DEMONS WHO DELIGHTS IN LITTLE CHILDREN BIKING FOR THEIR LIFE. I FELL INTO A BUSH OF NETTLES 3 TIMES MY SIZE WHEN I WAS 2 YEARS OLD AND I’M PRETTY SURE THAT’S MY FIRST, OLDEST MEMORY. OH AND HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN ROLLED OVER BY A HAYSTACK??? IT’S NOT FUN. I ALMOST GOT SHOT BY THE DRUNKARD OF THE VILLAGE BECAUSE MY BROTHER, SOME OTHER KIDS AND I WERE PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK ON HIS LAND. GOING OUTSIDE ON A SUNDAY IS A DEATH SENTENCE BECAUSE THE HUNTERS ARE OUT AND CAN’T MAKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PHEASANT AND A TODDLER. THE TURKEYS OF THE FARM WE LIVED ON WERE THIRSTY FOR OUR BLOOD, AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THOSE BIG, WHITE ROOSTERS. SPAWNS OF SATAN, ALL OF THEM. I GOT CHASED BY A COYPU BECAUSE THIS MOTHERFUCKER DIDN’T LIKE SHARING HIS RIVER WITH CHILDREN WHO JUST WANTED TO BUILD A TREEHOUSE ON A LITTLER RIVER-ISLAND IN THE WOODS. HORSES AND COWS ARE VERY NICE BUT THEY WILL KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF YOU LOOK AT THEM THE WRONG WAY. PIGS WILL EAT YOU ALIVE, THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT. RABBITS WILL RUN IN FRONT OF YOUR CAR LIKE IT’S A GAME OF WHO WILL KILL WHO FIRST. FOXES HAVE ENTERED MY HOUSE THROUGH THE CAT FLAP AND PEED ON MY COUCH. MULTIPLE TIMES. THERE WAS A TREND OF GETTING PEACOCKS AMONG ALL FRENCH FARMERS AT ONE POINT, WHICH WAS ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL THE FUCKERS DECIDED TO PERCH ON YOUR WINDOW AND SCREAM AT 4AM. THE NEIGHBOR’S DOG ALMOST BIT MY HEAD OFF AND MY OWN DOG JUMPED ON HIM JUST IN TIME AND SAVED MY FUCKING LIFE. RAT INVASIONS IN THE HOUSE ALMOST EVERY YEAR. HORNETS AND WASPS WILL MAKE NESTS IN THE WALLS OF YOUR BEDROOM AND THEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BREATHING TOO HARD. WHEN I WAS VERY LITTLE I TRIED TO PUT MY RAIN-BOOT ON BUT MY FOOT WOULDN’T FIT BECAUSE SOMETHING WAS OBSTRUCTING IT, SO I FLIPPED IT OVER AND A WHOLE FUCKING RED-ANTS COLONY FELL OFF. ANTS ALSO LOVED MY BEDROOM, SO SOMETIMES I’D WAKE UP TO ENTIRE COLONIES CRAWLING ON MY BED AND ALL OVER THE FLOOR. I’VE HAD AN ANT-PHOBIA EVER SINCE. MY VILLAGE IS ALSO NEAR TO THE SEA AND EVERY NOW AND THEN WHEN THERE IS A BIG TIDE, THE RIVER WOULD FLOOD THE WHOLE FUCKING THING AND NOBODY WOULD GIVE A SHIT. ONE OF THE NEIGHBORS DOESN’T KNOW THE CONCEPT OF TRASHCANS AND RECYCLE BINS SO SHE JUST STRAIGHT UP BURNS HER FUCKING TRASH IN A DITCH EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS. SHE MIGHT AS WELL BE FLIPPING OFF THE PLANET, AND US, WHILE SHE’S DOING IT. ASSUME EVERYONE DRIVING A TRACTOR IS DRUNK AND STEAR CLEAR OF THEIR WAY. THE COUNTRYSIDE IS LAWLESS, EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET YOU. But hey, I was best friend with a little hen once and she would hop on my lap whenever I was in my swing so she could swing with me, so all-in-all, the countryside is okay.
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morning, afternoon & evening; from calm to an absolute chaos.
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i’ve clearly regressed to 5th grade, so here’s some percy jackson fanart ladies and gents
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