When they’re in love with you but you have feelings for a different member (Hyung line)
→ tags/warnings: SFW, angstyyyyy (like, I’m sorry but at the same time I wanted to write something sad), no, there’s not a happy ending really idk so read at your own heart’s risk, but like really. I was listening to “Manos de Tijera” while writing this so it’s a wee bit heartbreaking
→ a/n: I don’t really write reactions very often but this seemed fun when @sierra-fics brought it up! I actually have one of your suggestions in my drafts, just haven’t finished it up yet. Thanks for the push, though! I love exploring different styles!
read the maknae line version here!
he’s not surprised
it’s probably the worst part for him, the fact that he’s not surprised when your eyes light up as Taehyung waltzes in the room.
he had been in the middle of plucking up the courage to invite you to try out that new Thai restaurant you’d been chattering about when Tae walked in
and you tried - you really did - to pay attention to what Jin had been saying, but you faltered a bit as Tae greeted you warmly and plopped down beside Jin
and Jin just watched, not surprised.
although what does surprise him is how much it hurts
that pain where your heart literally, physically hurts? it’s an exquisite pain, one that takes his breath away
and it doesn’t go away
it doesn’t fade
so he ends up in Namjoon’s studio later that night, and Namjoon knows to wait for him to open up
Jin just stares for a while, blankly at the wall
“Does Tae like her?”
Namjoon already knows who he’s referring to. He’s known about Jin’s helpless crush on you for ages, he knew before Jin himself figured it out
but it’s the way that Jin asks the question so softly, so carefully, that Namjoon realizes with a start that this is so much more than a crush
and Jin looks at him, misery clear in his eyes but also clear resolve visible even as unshed tears glimmer
“Would you really let her go?” Namjoon counters gently. Because he knows. He knows that if Tae got the green light, you'd be swept up in a matter of seconds.
and it’s the way that Jin stares down at his feet, and the tears begin rolling down his cheeks, that has Namjoon sick to his stomach
Jin nods, and when he speaks, his voice shakes but he sounds so earnest that it breaks Namjoon’s heart
“I’d do anything for her.”
no words are exchanged after that for a long, heart-wrenching moment. it’s just Jin, staring down at his feet and quietly sobbing, and Namjoon, pulling him into an embrace.
“I’m sorry, hyung.”
it’s surprising to Jin, just how much that soft phrase cuts through him. It sounds so final.
because at the end of the day, it’s the only solace that can be offered to him.
he loved, and he lost.
you’re sitting beside him in his studio when the realization hits him like a freight train
sprawled sideways in your designated swivel chair while you stifle a yawn and rub your eyes, Yoongi wonders when he let his emotions get so out of hand
because you’re offering him a shy smile and asking him a question that he numbly answers, but on the inside he’s a total clueless mess
when did he fall in love with you?
it’s something that will haunt him long after you leave that night, rushing out when you get a call from Hobi
for the second time that night, he’s hit with another realization
he’s still reeling from the fact that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with you, so when you gasp and grin when your phone light up with a call, he falters
it’s like being doused with a bucket of ice water, the way you whisper, “oh, it’s Hobi!” and politely ask if you can take the call before rushing out into the hallway
“oh,” he mumbles to himself as the door closes. “it’s Hobi.”
and he laughs.
quietly, darkly. he laughs to himself, at himself, whatever.
because of course it’s Hobi. his best friend, his vitamin. you two deserve each other. of that much he’s certain.
he doesn’t waste too much time feeling sorry for himself; he’s logical enough to see that you two are probably a better match. it’s nothing personal.
so why does he stay in his studio all night, ignoring any calls or messages sent his way?
he’s not sure when he fell asleep, but next thing he knows he’s sprawled out on his little couch and you’re gently shaking him awake
“Yoongo? Did you stay here last night?”
his eyes crack open at the sound of your voice, just enough to be met with your sweet smile
and he, in his half-asleep state, smiles back. he reaches one hand up to gently brush back a strand of your hair, and he swears you lean into his touch
and when you mumble something about Hobi bringing breakfast up, Yoongi is hit with the third realization in less that twenty-four hours.
it’s startlingly simple:
he wants to cry.
so he excuses himself to the bathroom, and cries. sets a five minute timer so nobody gets worried and comes looking for him, and allows himself that time to cry.
then, with machine-like precision, he washes his face and puts some eyedrops in, and goes back out to pretend like everything is fine.
and whenever Jin or Taehyung bring up acting, Yoongi knows. He knows, deep down, that he’s the best actor of all.
because he still loves you
and you will never know.
hobi has never been the most forthcoming with his emotions
he keeps them on lockdown
monitors them with military-like focus
so he knows the exact moment he begins developing feelings for you
(it’s when you brought Bang PD a bouquet for valentine’s day, just to make him blush)
and he knows the exact second when he fell in love
(it was when, after a grueling day at work, you silently walked through his door with his favorite goodies and left without a single word)
(you were wearing a yellow cardigan that day)
(he’s never looked at the color yellow the same way)
if he’s completely honest, he’s sometimes trying so hard to stay on top of his own feelings that he forgets to watch out for where your attention may be drifting
to be fair, you kept your own little crush on Jimin a secret
so when Hobi decides to get over himself and just shoot his shot, he decides he’s all in
and when you arrive at his apartment that night for a movie, you’re shocked to see a bouquet of yellow flowers in Hobi’s shaking hands
“hey” he breathes
you stare at the flowers, then at him
“hello...?” then, with a sinking felling, you point at the flowers. “are those for me?”
hobi smiles broadly. “yeah, they are.” and he hands them to you, allowing his fingers to brush up against yours
it’s electrifying, that small touch
and again, he’s so focused on how electrifying it is that he misses the way you look like you might be sick
pale face, concerned expression
he misses it all, because he’s so nervous but so stupidly in love that he’s just barreling ahead.
gotta get this out of the way
and so when he leads you to sit with him out on the balcony, he takes a deep breath and looks at you with wonder in his eyes
and that’s when he notices the way you’re fiddling with your bracelet
not a problem, except for the fact that it’s the one he saw Jimin carefully choosing from an online collection
so when you keep fiddling with the bracelet and avoiding Hobi’s eye contact, he gets it
he takes a long look at all those emotions he keeps in check, and allows himself a moment of self-pity before reaching out and laying a hand atop your own
you immediately stop fidgeting and look at him with wide eyes. he can see with a pang how you’re trying to come up with the best way to let him down easy
so he does the job for you
“I just wanted to say thank you for the other day,” he says, forcing a light tone. “when you brought me those goodies after work. It really meant a lot.”
you blink, confused. “Oh. uh, you’re welcome.”
“and,” he drawls, a well-rehearsed smile clawing its way onto his face, “I wanted to snoop and get the inside scoop about Jiminie. I know he got you that bracelet. did he finally cave and confess to you?”
you look shocked, but you burst out into relieved laughter. “how did you know?”
he didn’t. “how could I not? he’s absolutely whipped.”
and you blush under the stars and begin to ramble, lost in your excitement and joy.
and Hobi watches. smiling. supportive. laughing at the right spots and asking all the right questions.
later, when you give him a tight hug and thank him for the fun night, he lets the words sting as you call him “such a great friend.” he lets them sting, relishing in the pain.
he reminds you to take your flowers home, and you begrudgingly admit that they’re your favorite type of flower.
he didn’t know. but that hurts, too. the fact that he got it right.
Hobi never looks at the color yellow the same way again.
he’s told you he loves you a million times now
every night, in every dream, he tells you how much he loves you
adores you with everything he is
you manage to find your way into his music, his musings, every piece of artwork he comes across
he's never been like this before
never, he’s sure of it
and everyone knows, except for you.
it becomes a strange game for the boys to play, dropping hints at every opportunity, laughing at your confused expression
Jungkook and Taehyung especially enjoy the chaos that they create, making Namjoon groan and grow embarrassed
but you have no idea
or are you just willfully ignorant?
all Namjoon knows is that he’s swimming in his feelings for you, completely lost and on the verge of drowning
but, oh, what a way to die
he’s never been able to stop himself when it comes to you
and he considers himself rather disciplined, but the way you make him feel he could throw caution to the wind and give it all up
so when you end up staying late one night at the apartment, the boys manage to convince you to stay
“there’s plenty of room” Jungkook muses, feigning deep thought. “besides, it’s too late for you to drive back tonight. just stay.”
and while Namjoon wants to kill them all for the way they offer up his bed to you, he thinks he might actually die when you reluctantly agree with a yawn
he knows he should offer to take the couch, but something stops him
it’s like he physically can’t
“I don’t mind sharing the bed” you state, squinting at him while wearing his basketball shorts and oversized t-shirt.
you look adorable. he’s unsure of how he’s even functioning right now, to be honest. he’s melting.
“just keep your snoring in check, loser”
and he’s back to laughing, turning off the light and hopping into bed
you’re so far away
why are you so far away?
“hey” he whispers, the sound so loud in the quiet. the only other sound is the muffled voices of the other members, no doubt down in the kitchen gossiping about the events of the night
“hey yourself” you whisper back, turning to face him
he can see you in the moonlight, his eyes having adjusted just enough.
and he wants to kiss you so badly
so he smiles, heart leaping when you smile back
and he reaches out, gently tracing your jawline.
you say nothing, heart thundering in your chest
because to be honest, you’re confused
why is he looking at you like that?
but you don’t ask as Namjoon takes a deep breath, steadying himself before propping himself up on one elbow and looking down at you with an adoring expression
your eyes flutter closed as he brushes his thumb against your cheek, and he can feel your heartbeat racing
your reaction gives him all the courage he needs as he leans down, lips capturing your own in a long, sweet kiss
and he’s going out of his mind because he finally kissed you, didn’t he?! finally!!
but those are your hands on his chest, and instead of pulling him in closer you’re gently pushing him away
he’s never hated his name so much.
“I’m so sorry- I- I thought that maybe-” he stutters, pulling himself upright as you do the same, and he launches out of bed, hands in his hair “I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”
“Namjoon.” you repeat, and he notices now how utterly distraught you look.
because you’re still confused, but there’s one name rolling around in your head even as you can still taste namjoon on your lips.
“I...” you shake your head, unsure of what to say. “It’s just...”
and he’s looking at you with big eyes, taking in every single word you say. and you want to take it all back, want to let him kiss you until you’re breathless, but your heart won’t let you.
“Just what?” he asks quietly, afraid of the answer. so afraid
two syllables, and his world comes crashing down around him.
namjoon is silent, avoiding your gaze as he grabs one of the pillows off of the bed and a spare blanket, heading toward the door.
“I’ll sleep on the couch. I’m sorry.”
and he’s gone before you can utter another word.
sure enough, the boys are still downstairs, and they all fall silent as Namjoon appears, throwing the pillow down on the couch.
“Hyung!” Jungkook asks, scrambling over. “Hyung, what happened? What are you doing down here?”
Namjoon can’t bring himself to look at the maknae, not when he can still picture how it felt to kiss you. not when those few seconds of paradise are still on his lips.
“Didn’t wanna wake her up with my snoring.”
because how could he ever be angry at the boy that looks at him like he’s his savior?
m.list || buy me an orange juice?
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