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#this is.....the shorter list.....just fyi
natwrites08 · 6 months
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Waiting For Love? (Rúben Dias x FemReader) 
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Summary: She saw how the world around her started to change, she came to the conclusion that love wasn’t for her. (Enemies to lovers?)
Word Count: 9.8K
Warnings: Lots of angst (both characters will have their differences), insecurities, fluff, slight injury+ panic attack. (Let me know if I missed something).
a/n: Everything is fiction; the characters' actions do not reflect who they are in real life, many names will be made up, as well as events. I wanted to write an enemies to Lovers story for the longest time, but I was afraid of making them very mean. I hate when enemies to lovers find joy in being toxic or emotionally abusive, so I wanted them to just have some arguments and silly conflict and eventually find common ground. FYI this will be sort of long, went a bit overboard, but I really love this one.-Nat❤️
*Was going to post it Wednesday but I might have something shorter by than, and I actually love this one!!!
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There is a saying that goes something like this, ‘you can’t love someone else if you don't love yourself’, it does hold some truth, but what if you’re past the age to love and be loved. Maybe she didn’t love herself, she probably had the worst qualities, she was self-destructive due to her own illusions and she really did believe that she was put in this world to never be loved. 
You get to an age when you’re content with your loneliness, when you know that love might never show up at your door. When she was a teen she yearned to be loved, almost everybody at that age wanted to start experiencing love or any other desire. 
Her friends seemed to be in that predicament of wanting to be loved, and eventually a right boy or girl arrived at their door, while she waited and waited until she eventually walked back to her room to dream about a life that she knew she will never have. 
She wasn't a realist, she was a dreamer until she hit her mid-twenties and still nothing, so that’s when she became bitter and although she always searched for love it never came. Until he showed up, but that’s a story for later because she still hasn’t shared half of her troubles. 
Was she so difficult to deal with?
Was she too ugly?
Was she not smart enough?
Was she too hopeful?
Did she have a lot of unrealistic expectations?
The list of insecurities went on, she was left in the dark about her good qualities because no one ever told her that she was enough. Sure friends and family did, but it's expected, however her own self-awareness told her that she lacked a lot of desirable qualities.
She only had herself and she knew that she wasn't enough even for herself so why try, especially at her age and with an unlucky chaos that followed her everywhere she went. Sometimes that chaos would work out and oftentimes it got her in trouble, and that’s exactly how she met Rúben Dias, the bane of her existence and he would say the same for her. 
It started like every love story, at least that’s what her delusional heart told her, a very sick and twisted plot that left her confused, frustrated, with a huge amount of sadness and pain, but it left her tragically in love and that was her mistake or was it? 
She really did want to be more put together, but she no longer had the motivation to rely on a routine, so she liked to call herself a free spirit. Eclectic in a way, maybe she was the one that was scaring men away? Even if she was like every other girl she wouldn’t be a magnet and to settle for the bare minimum wasn’t for her, so she would rather remain alone. 
Now how did she end up in Manchester, well she liked to move around, just like her nonexistent love life, she also didn’t have a home. She had a lovely family but they just didn’t understand, besides everyone in her family was getting married. In fact there would be like three weddings coming up that she couldn’t attend. 
So she decided to move far away, and that’s where she met a nice old lady named Sarah. She started working at a jewelry shop, when this prestigious lady walked in and they instantly clicked. 
She was single all her life, with an adopted son who loved her very much, her son lived in Germany which meant that she was now completely alone. Those two lonely souls connected because they were very much alike when it came to the subject of love. 
According to Sarah no one ever found her beautiful, which was seriously crazy because she was so elegant, so there she realized that even if you were the most beautiful and successful person you might never find the right person to compliment you.
So you see they became very good friends, enough for Sarah to trust her with her luxurious Flat for the two months that she would be in Germany. Sarah was just like her but in a different font, she was put together because she lived a life full of luxury.
I mean anyone can be content with so much economic freedom to never be bored. However she knew how damaging it was to be alone, to yearn for even a brush of a hand, to be touch starved. 
Moving into her flat was relaxing, because she wouldn’t worry about paying rent, just the food that she would eat and she was getting paid. What else could she ask for?  Maybe a boyfriend? her heart was yelling, but her unrealistic brain always ignored her begging. 
The building was very modern, she didn’t expect Sarah to live there, but she wouldn’t judge because tons of fancy cars passed by, and there she was with the worst styles combined, in her eyes she looked cool but in this area she knew that she wouldn’t fit in, she didn’t fit in regardless and now she would be surrounded by the rich. 
As the lift went up with people she would smile and no one returned a scrap of kindness, see it was her. So from there on she avoided eye contact, always looking up, breaking her neck to avoid the judgment. Maybe that’s why she didn’t see the boxes that were in front of a door, and maybe that's why she decided to avoid the judgy eyes that only stared and never budged to help her. 
“Are you lost?” As she struggled to get up, she couldn’t believe his audacity 
“No, i'm just a few steps ahead” in reality there were only two homes on each floor. 
“Impossible”
“Why? Because I can’t live here looking like this?”
“Yes and no, because Sarah lives there”
“Sarah is in Germany with her son, and I’m looking after her home”
“I have concerns”
“Ok Mr. Judgy, I met Sarah where I work and we became friends”
“You’re too young?”
“Are you calling Sarah old?”
“No I’m not”
“Well I’ll call Sarah and tell her your concerns” before he could protest she was already ringing Sarah, and she had this little scowl on her face, cute but scary in a way. 
“Hello Sarah I'll put you on speaker”
“Why darling?”
“Do you have a bodyguard in your building or on your floor?”
“No love just the code I gave you”
“Then how come your neighbor is behaving like one, said that he doesn’t trust me” by that point he was flustered and a bit angry. 
“Rúben I appreciate your concerns sweetheart but she is my friend, I’m in Germany with Liam, she’ll take care of my home, now don’t be rude ok”
“Sorry Sarah, just looking after you, well I’ll see you soon” with that he walked into his home, not sparing her or his packages another glance.
“Thanks Sarah, have fun with Liam and don’t worry about anything”
“Ok, good luck” why did she need luck? If she was walking into paradise. Everything smelled so fresh, a hint of lavender surrounded the air, however it looked too perfect, barely lived in. How did a sweet lady live in so much isolation? Did she really want this for herself? Yet she knew that even living in perfect conditions could not guarantee love.
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For the first week she woke up in pure bliss, where the clouds actually let the sun shine. She had easy shifts for two months which meant more positivity to avoid self-destruction, but you know what it didn’t improve, her delusions. 
She wanted that level of success and it was never good to pretend, because again it brought many unrealistic expectations that she didn’t care about. So she would indulge that she was a successful lawyer, who wanted to remain single because she was too good for everyone. 
The first time that she saw Sarah’s neighbor again was when she opened the door for her takeout, he was yet again picking up some packages and he squinted his eyes in a malicious way. Really what was his problem? 
The second time was yet again due to his packages, the delivery man bumped into her, making the poor man apologize, while trying to help her up. When he came out of his home, he only laughed at her and the poor man, who she pushed to the floor because her shoes were too slippery. So that started a bit of a war between them, it was childish but she was loving the tension. 
She started memorizing his schedule and he did the same for hers. He would leave earlier than her and she would arrive later than him. So what kind of war did they enter? well she started it, she would place all his packages from the beginning of the lift all the way to the end of their hallway.
As he went around to collect them, he would stack them at her door. She just didn’t know why he had so many packages and he still didn’t know her name. 
For two weeks they would both come home in a bad mood, but they couldn’t stop. She had to get revenge and so did he. What started as simple and harmless fun, quickly turned a bit too much when she got hurt. 
It was his day off which meant more planning and more boxes at her door. She didn’t watch her step and the top box fell on her face, specifically her right eye. With her loud shriek he came out of his home, a bit taken back and annoyed.
“Why are you so clumsy?”
“Why are you so mean, putting the heaviest box on the top?”
“It’s not the heaviest?”
“Maybe not for you, are you going to help me up, or are you going to laugh?”
“I really want to laugh, but maybe I’ll wait until I know that you’re safe, lets go to the hospital”
“Hospital? It’s not that serious” he slowly picked her up by putting his arms under her arms. At that time she didn’t care about how easily he picked her up, she was just dizzy. 
“Well you don’t know that, or are you a doctor?”
“If I was a doctor I would own this place not take care of it”
“We’re going and that’s final, I’ll grab my keys” 
She saw how he jogged to his home and with a blur he picked up her purse and gently took her by the waist. She won’t lie that tiny touch made her jump, and all she got was a murmured but unbothered ‘sorry’.
“Why are you helping me?”
“I don’t want you to go blind or become even more crazy”
“I’m not crazy, I’m just always in a rush”
“I don’t know if I believe you”
“How come?”
“Well you did start a package war with me”
He said as he opened the door for her and buckled her in, she noticed how beautiful he was, a nice nose, nice lips, nice profile and although she was partially blind she still saw his beauty. Oh to the Gods above, how horrible did she look?
“Well this is my third time getting hurt due to your packages and I also embarrassed myself with the delivery man ”
“Right but you never look down….”
“How come you have so much correspondence?”
“Fan mail, my brother had the bright idea to open fan mail” was she in the car with an actor? She was very confused because he did have the looks and arrogance. 
“Why do you have fans, are you an actor?” 
“I'm flattered but no, I’m a football player” and he saw how a frown became very prominent on her face. 
“Well that explains it”
“Explains what, and why are you frowning, are you disappointed?”
“Yes, it's not interesting, just explains the arrogance that’s it”
“Have you seen a match live?”
“Don’t need to, I understand the culture enough to understand how fans inflate the egos of athletes” 
“Brings lots of positive and emotional memories, that's if you’re really passionate about it, if you only care about the fame then you become arrogant”
“Says the man that has fan mail”
“Hey, I’m giving back to the people that support my career, hopefully it gives them a bit of happiness, not doing it to become more famous” 
“Ok, then how come you always laugh when im on the floor, that’s not kind” 
“Well the first time, I was shocked, the second time the delivery man like you call him, is my brother who drops off the packages, so I actually laughed at him”
“Well at least he is nice, unlike you” 
“You don’t know me” that's where their conversations took a pause because he was right you can’t assume the characteristics of a person. The conversation made them even more awkward, the drive was very silent, just her breathing in an obnoxious manner and him looking at her with concern. 
She was so stubborn because when he parked the car, she decided to get out without his assistance, causing a bit of a tumble. 
“Why can’t you just wait? I’m here for a reason”
“Bring my bag…” and that’s all she said before she fainted, he had to carry her now, and people that were unconscious were very heavy he realized. Regardless, the doctors quickly took her in and that’s where he had to lie about their relationship status to be let in. Giving him a clipboard with stuff he needed to fill up about her, yet he didn’t even know her name. 
Taking her identification discreetly from her purse became his only source of clarity, that's where he saw her beautiful name and filled up everything that was necessary.
According to the doctors she had a minor concussion along with a black eye, it wasn't serious but they were glad that he made sure to bring her. She just needed to wake up to go over a few more tests and she should be good. 
“Rúben?” He was startled by his name, but regardless he went to her side. 
“Hey, yet again you took a tumble” 
“That’s just classic me, super clumsy”
“I Guess it is, but how about no more package wars?” He had this warm look in his eyes, or maybe it was his smile that he was proudly wearing that made him look so beautiful. 
“I’ll miss it though” he let out a breathy laugh, with a sigh of relief. 
“Can we just be civil…” that’s when the doctor came in.
“Hello young lady, your boyfriend told me that you took quite a tumble…” she couldn’t even process the word boyfriend because Rúben broke out into a coughing fit, that brought some concern but he kept waving his hand as a sign that he was fine, and when he returned to normal he was met with her amused face. 
“…Well as I was saying, please keep ice on your eye and if there’s constant dizziness and headaches please come back ok, anymore questions or concerns?”
“No doctor thanks”
“Ok the nurse will be back with your medicine and a few other instructions” with that he said his goodbyes and walked out. 
“Be civil? But you’re apparently my boyfriend” he had never seen him so embarrassed, but the cute moment was ruined by his defensive response.
“Didn’t know what to say so I created something absurd” he saw how her shoulders deflated and the fun atmosphere that they created was replaced by a gush of cold air and hostility. 
She noticed that he couldn’t even fathom dating her, I mean who would, even if it was pretend, it must’ve been so painful for him to be “dating”someone who clearly wasn’t put together. 
“Right because I’m very absurd, and hideous…” 
“I never said that” 
“I know but they always think it.” They? he didn’t have the time to process a response because the nurse came in with her checkout board and her medicine with instructions and that was it, he just had to push the wheelchair. 
He didn’t know why her rejection hurt when he tried to help her up or even when he tried to buckle her in, but the slap that was placed on his hand made him retract his action and all he did was hand her the purse. 
As the wheelchair was taken back to the hospital, she sat in silence in his car. No matter what they always found her lackluster. 
Instead of being a diamond or a nice stone, she was a pebble that was avoided, not even a pebble that was kicked around or used to hurt people or other objects because she had never been given a chance to hurt someone else. Everyone just wanted to cause her pain, and she finally realized that she was put on this earth to just exist and take up space, but in a way she was resilient like a rock.
Maybe it was the pain that she was feeling, but she had to wipe away the tears that escaped and act brave, but her sniffles betrayed her. 
She was glad that he could read the room and didn’t interact. It was way more awkward and painful to be surrounded by someone who you clearly let down. 
She gathered herself and opened the door for herself, while he walked a few steps behind her. He really wanted to apologize yet nothing came out. 
As she walked out of the lift, she saw the boxes that were still stacked up and she groaned. 
What once brought her a bit of joy had become tortures. She had no choice but to remove them, but of course he helped and he was annoyed that she was still lifting them and carrying them to his door. 
“Can you not?” 
“Leave me alone Rúben, last time that I’ll bother you I promise” 
“That’s not why, you’re hurt”
“I’ll be fine…”
“If you feel anything knock on my door…”
“Won’t be necessary, have a good night, and thanks” she jumped over the last few boxes as she opened the door.
That same door that would make him smile in a devious but still fun way only brought a frown to his face as it was closed gently. 
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She asked for the rest of the week off, she couldn’t show up at work with a black eye and bloodshot eyes. Her injury left her with even less motivation, not even waking up on the clouds made her happy. 
The pizza that she had ordered for three nights in a row did not make her happy. She just wanted to talk to someone and Sarah was on a cruise. 
Ruben wasn’t doing any better, the guilt was consuming him, especially when the only sign that she was alive was the pizza that she would order. 
Coming out and into those hallways only brought him a level of shame and sadness, it made him realize that their fun game was never going to happen again. That he hurt her and made her insecure. 
So he decided to turn that around, start on the right foot with her. No more hostility and no more silly wars that would leave them like enemies. 
He would hunt down the delivery man, pay and send him back down. He waited until he showed up and there he stood against his door until she realized that her pizza was missing. 
He heard the curses minutes later before he saw her face. There she was in the worst outfit imaginable yet she still looked adorable. Her face still had a bruise but it also housed an appalled expression. 
“Looking for this?” He waved the tiny box of pizza around. 
There he was looking annoyingly handsome. 
“I thought we weren’t going to take anymore of our packages?” However there was no humor behind her tone, she just looked done. 
“This is the fourth time that you’ve had it this week, it’s not good” he was met with an angry eye roll. 
“Makes me more absurd huh?”
“You won’t be getting it back, unless you come in to have dinner with me”
“Why would I do that, it will make us miserable” 
“Can’t make us more right? So come on, I made a Portuguese dish, arroz de marisco, unless you have a restrictive diet?” 
There was no movement, she was stuck in time, if she went, it could mean lots of different things that would result in thousands of different regrets, but attempting is important, the result doesn’t matter because at least you tried, right? 
She had to search for a sign that if she went then it would turn out positive, but aren’t signs a negative thing? It just means that you’re too indecisive and afraid of making the right or wrong choice. 
She had never been asked for dinner, not by a boy at least and although it was just because he was sorry he still tried. So maybe she should try as well, so with a little nod she approached him, and just like that he moved out of the way to let her in. 
“Smells nice in here” she indulged in looking around his place, it was homey, like he actually lived there. Unlike Sarah’s it provided comfort not luxury. 
“I hope it tastes as nice as it smells” he gave her a genuine smile as he pulled the stool for her. She did jump when he pushed her into the island, but her surprise was quickly masked by an awkward clear of her throat. He just served her a plate and some wine.
“Looks nice as well, what is it exactly?”
“Rice and seafood on a broth, not sure how to explain it but that’s my mothers recipe” 
“I’ll feel bad for your mother if it’s not good” and he laughed, good to know that she could still banter with him. 
“She will be disappointed if I’m giving a bad dish to anyone, especially a girl”
“How come?”
“She always wanted her sons to cook for any occasions, to make someone feel happy or to apologize and I want to apologize and hopefully make you happy”
“Look Rúben I was just emotional and in pain, I overreacted…”
“Please don’t excuse my horrible behavior of not clarifying what I meant, I didn’t mean absurd in a bad way…” he was met with a confused look. “…Why don’t we eat and then talk?”
With a little nod from her, he observed as she had her first taste of a Portuguese dish. He wasn’t expecting the moan of pure satisfaction, so with wide eyes from him, she apologized. 
“Sorry, It’s just really good”
“Probably because you’ve had pizza for a whole week” 
“That too, but you certainly didn’t disappoint your mother” 
“Good to hear” they returned to eating in silence, and she could say that she was left completely satisfied. He then turned to look at her, with wine in hand she listened to his explanation. 
“It was absurd because I didn’t even know your name, and I was already pretending to be your boyfriend, I knew nothing about you besides probably your quirkiness and your sense of picking fights, you’re also not hideous in any way whatsoever” 
“Did you hit your head with the pizza box?” 
“No, why?”
“Me being not hideous is really funny” he just looked offended for her. 
“What’s funny about it?”
“Don’t know… I suppose no one has told me different”
“You also said ‘they’, who has told you that you’re hideous?”
“No one really, like I said they probably just think it, I’ve never been told that I’m pretty or even just decent” 
“Don’t settle for decent or pretty, settle for beautiful” 
“You can’t settle for beautiful if you don’t agree yourself” 
“You think you’re ugly?”
“Rúben in most cases women are questioning their appearance on a daily basis, it becomes routine for us, not saying that men don’t feel insecure but mostly women do because they are always told not just by people but by announcements or social media that they are ugly and not desirable if they don’t fit into perfection, and although it is painful to admit I don’t fall into that category” 
“Well I’ll admit it for you” 
“That’s kind of you, but you don’t have to pretend, not anymore that you’re forgiven” 
“Especially because I’m forgiven, I’m done pretending, look you’re beautiful and although you might not believe me I can assure you that your sense of being unapologetically yourself is very attractive” 
“Not my face though? Just my personality…”
“No querida…I think your style is nice and your lips are really pretty, so are your eyes and nose and just your side profile is really nice, you’re beautiful” 
“You’re just blabbering, admit that I'm a rock?”
“A rock?” She laughed in frustration because she realized how stupid she was, of course someone that looked like the finest diamond wouldn't understand. 
“Yeah just existing, not moving, not growing, just being on the way either avoided or used for hurting someone” 
“Are you comparing yourself to a rock? Then that’s definitely not true because some rocks are nice to look at, mountains are rocks that keep growing, housing a bunch of different species of living things, sure they are in the way but people stop to look at them, because they were put in this world to be breathtaking” 
“Beautiful words Rúben but…”
“Not forgetting about rocks that are shaped like hearts or other shapes, people love collecting those..”
“No Rúben I feel like a huge rock that’s avoided, it can’t be used to hurt or to be stared at or to even gift because it’s just existing, I don’t hurt anyone” 
“Do you want to hurt someone?”
“No I would never, but I’ve never been given the chance to be an interesting rock that causes disasters, I’m sorry if my weird comparisons are confusing you but you’re a cool rock like a diamond” 
“Diamonds are way too perfect, they are made into the perfect shape, which in a way describes me, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a good thing, we can be rocks or diamonds you choose but you will still be beautiful, it doesn’t change a thing” she appreciated his kind affirmations but their night took a turn when all she wanted was to enjoy some pizza. 
“Thanks Rúben but it will take me lots of time” 
“Well I’ll keep reminding you how beautiful you are” 
“It’s probably the wine talking but I’ll choose to believe you” their night continued with simple conversations, about her childhood and he told her all about his career. 
It was nice to have someone to talk to, and so far he wasn’t judging. They were no longer enemies of a silly war instead they were acquaintances that just wanted to mend the wounds of a rocky relationship. 
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Instead of boxes against her front door there were now little rocks placed. The first one was of a silly shape, it looked like Italy, according to him, from his note she could tell that he was creative and that he was taking this rock conversation very seriously. 
John Stones could tell that his friend was spiraling, every afternoon after training he would catch Rúben looking for pebbles. At first he thought that he was playing a funny joke on him dealing with stones but no, every little rock would bring a smile to his friends face. 
There was no point in confronting him because he would run out to his car. Excited to surprise his neighbor with a rock. He knew it was silly but he couldn’t help himself, something changed and he didn’t know what it was. 
The rock of the day was a heart and she didn’t know what to think “this can be you as a rock?” Sure they were closer, but it didn’t mean anything.  
Her heart did flutter, but she was always delusional so it really wasn't new. It’s funny believing in love, yet you never had the opportunity to love, due to your own insecurities. However Sarah believed that there was someone that was meant for her, but she had to stop looking, according to her she would just know, but how?
It couldn't be Rúben, they were two different people from different worlds. He was nice and attentive now that their little war was over. He would invite her to eat since she would only eat ‘rubbish’ food as he would call it, so he was only looking out for her. 
She was always tired from work, but she had an athletic friend who ran for hours straight and trained so much and somehow he always had the strength to cook a meal, so on her only day off she offered to cook. 
She went with a simple pasta, the only thing that was decent on her menu. She just didn’t know that it would turn out so bad because his eyes were always on her. This warm look, like he was mesmerized, made her so nervous. 
“What’s wrong?” He quickly shook his head to get out of his little daze. 
“Nothing just thinking about a girl” she quickly turned her attention to the vegetables she was cutting. 
“Oh…really?” 
“Yeah, she’s making me pasta…” the knife fell from her hand “…she’s quite bad at cooking apparently” 
“What exactly are you thinking about, just her making pasta, that's it?”
“No, she also looks stressed and a bit nervous” 
“She’s not stressed, just nervous probably”
“How come?”
“Well someone keeps staring at her”
“Yeah because she does look nervous and stressed but also very beautiful” she didn’t speak because she was preparing their plates, a nice pasta with some salad, you know to balance the carbs. 
He wasn’t lying, she looked cute when she was concentrating. She was also very funny and not serious at all, he didn’t know that he could be so attracted to someone so chaotic, but here he was observing every flaw and every perfection. He knew that no one was perfect, not even him, but she was made perfect for him and only him. 
“Um? Here it is, doesn’t look as good as I imagined, but hopefully it isn’t bad” 
“Thank you anjo, looks great don’t worry”
However, the first bite was not great, the pasta was too hard and the sauce was way too spicy. Between the coughs and giggles there was also a very insecure girl that felt like a failure. 
She was laughing through the pain, and he quickly caught on to that and he shoved another bite. With wide eyes she saw how crazy he was. She couldn’t even do that to herself and here he was clearing his throat through every bite. Until she put her hand on top of his, stopping the fork from getting more pasta. 
“Please stop, you don’t have to pretend to like it to make me feel better, I don’t want you to get sick” 
“It’s good anjo, as you keep eating, the spice numbs your tongue” 
“I’m sorry, see I’m not good at anything” 
“Well at least I enjoyed seeing you cook, maybe the actual product might not be as tasty but you looked beautiful creating it” 
“Yeah but I’m not edible so what are we supposed to eat” she realized what she said after seeing his head turned to the side with a teasing glint on his face. 
“Don’t say anything else Rúben, I have ice cream and leftover pizza”
“Let’s just eat the salad, I mean it looks fine” 
“Knowing me, I screwed that up as well…” 
Surprisingly the salad wasn’t bad and they did end up having a nice conversation, about nothing in particular, just two people that wanted to learn more about each other, until it took a bit of a turn. 
“Ok Linda let’s clean up?”
“Linda means pretty correct?”
“Yes, or beautiful whatever you feel is more appropriate”
“Why are your eyes looking at me like that?” his eyes squinted, confused about her question. 
“Like what?” 
“They are so warm and welcoming, they make me believe”
“Believe in what?”
“That I look beautiful…Why do I feel beautiful when you look at me?”
“You are beautiful  I’ve told you plenty of times, but you’re very stubborn when it comes to me, do you know that?”
“I’m not stubborn I just don’t want to jump to conclusions that can potentially hurt me”
“I won’t hurt you, I don’t think I can”
“You’re crazy thinking I’m beautiful” 
“Well I’m crazy then” 
“Stop Ruben, you can’t think I’m pretty”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s impossible”
“I’m not lying, I like you” he didn’t find any humor in his confession, but she found it hilarious. 
“Why are you laughing? I’m a serious man and if I’m a liar I wouldn’t be here, I would’ve left you alone, because I don’t like to get close to people just to hurt them” 
“How do I know that you’re not lying though? I’ve never had anyone like me before. Always wondered if something was wrong with me, and I’m supposed to believe that you like me?” 
“You’re absolutely breathtaking…”
“So are you, that’s why I don’t understand” she was raising her voice, getting frustrated. 
“Don’t raise your voice linda, look I think we’re confused…”
“See, you are confused, you can find someone who is organized or more put together, who knows how to cook, who you will look good next to…”
“I don’t want all of that, I just want you, I can eat your pasta every night if it means that I can stare at you, that I can be here with you. Ask everyone at work they know that I’m going crazy just to make you happy, to make you realize that you’re enough” 
“Enough for who?” He groaned with a level of desperation.
“For me” She was a bit taken back by his voice, he looked angry, with his hands pointing at his chest. 
“Can we sit?”
“Of course, sorry for snapping” 
“I deserve it, I’m very stubborn and insecure…”
“Linda please stop, I will never know exactly what you’re feeling, but I’ll try to understand you”
“I’m not saying that you can’t relate to feeling lonely, but I was very lonely up until I arrived in Manchester. I was surrounded by people loving each other, but no one loved me. Do you know how much that damages a woman?…” with a shake of his head she continued
 “…it makes you feel like you’re not beautiful enough, or even just attractive for a night, if no one wanted me for a night then no one would want me forever. So I thought that I wasn’t made to love, I was put in this world to self-sabotage” 
She was very strong, or she tried to be because the trembling of her lips made her look completely sad. He grabbed her hands, providing some comfort. Rúben wanted her to know that he was present and that her confession made him aware that she was suffering and in need of him, even though she kept rejecting him. 
“You’re right in a way I’ve never been lonely, but I do feel alone. I'm almost thirty with no wife or kids and I was convinced that I will never find anyone. Sure there’s been women that want me, but just for a night and it’s not as great as you think because at the end of the night you will still be lonely. With you, I get to spend most of my afternoons and you make me complete, even if we talk for one hour I still feel satisfied” 
“I’ve never done this before, so I’m sorry if it makes me look childish, but you have to be very mature to decide that you will never love. Now I gathered that an opportunity for me to love is here, but what then? I don’t know what to expect or even what I can do” 
“Then let me guide you, I will not judge, but can I be your exception?”
“I've lived surrounded by love, I’ve yearned to be loved yet it never arrived, but Maybe you might be my exception after all”
“Then I’ll be your exception” she scooted closer to him, putting her head on his shoulder and that was his sign to pull her closer, ready to give her everything but most importantly his love. 
“I have very unrealistic expectations, just so you know, I’m a bit delusional when it comes to love” he chuckled, and she looked into his eyes.
“I’m ready to live up to those unrealistic expectations, but I also have some expectations”
“Like what, will I have to feed you everyday?”
“If one of your unrealistic expectations is for your man to cook for you, then I’ll do that with no problem…” a tiny wink was given “just make me happy, be supportive and loving that’s it”
“Well that certainly makes me look materialistic, but I promise that I’m not, I also want the same things as you, but I want to live in a little fairytale if that makes sense, I don’t like arguing so if we could avoid that it would be perfect” 
“Didn’t we argue this whole time?”
“That was different because maybe it was our way of flirting or maybe gifting pebbles?”
“John thinks I’m crazy, I stay behind and I gather rocks, but did they make you happy?”
“You have no idea how happy they made me, my own personalized experience of being in a fairytale” 
“Good, then I’ll keep doing it” 
“Also in about a two weeks Sarah will be back and I won’t be here for much longer, I’ll have to find another flat, so we have to learn to deal with a new routine”
“I’ll finally take you on real dates then, we will be a proper couple” 
“I hope I don’t scare you away” 
“I’m sure you won’t, teach me how to be as happy and loving as you and then we will scare people away together or make them jealous you decide” 
“You’re very romantic, I like that” 
“Good, because this is only an ounce of my romantic qualities” 
“Let’s go back to cleaning, but before that, can we take everything very slowly, maybe not the falling in love part but the intimacy?…” 
“I’m already in love with you” she smacked his chest because she was being vulnerable.
“You can’t say that yet Ruben” 
“Why not?”
“Because you haven’t had me fully…”
“I don’t need to, wouldn't change a thing” her heart did flutter with that and her romantic sigh did not go unnoticed by him,
“You will be patient though?”
“Of course amor, won’t be an issue, I’ll wait” 
“Remember I’m new to this and although I really want to jump right in, I can’t” 
“I know and again at your own pace” with a kiss to her cheek he stood up to clean the dishes, leaving her completely flustered. That’s how their nights continued until Sarah arrived and nothing had changed… Sarah was happy that her plan worked. 
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Sarah loved Rúben, he was a very kind young man, he was attentive and overall perfect for her new friend. His only weakness would have to be the amount of women that he would bring to his home. 
Now that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, because they did look content walking out of his home, the issue was when they stopped walking in and out of his home. 
She never liked to pry but according to his brother, Rúben had given up on the aspect of love and casual flings, he needed to settle down; he just never found the right girl. 
She had a solution to introduce him to the nice girl from her jeweler. She was young and she also believed that love wasn’t for her, so what better way to bring two lost souls together. 
She too was a hopeless romantic and she never found love because she was stubborn and she knew first hand how horrible it was to be lonely and she definitely did not want that for her.
Her plan was to go on visit her son, and make them meet by themselves. From all the conversations with her, she could tell that her plan was working. 
When she arrived she saw their faces all round and happy. Her plan had worked and she will never tell them. Especially because her plan of finding love for herself also worked. 
Rúben and her had planned a welcome home party, he reassured her that a party could consist of just three people, however when they both threw the balloons at Sarah, she had an older gentleman beside her. 
With confused looks she introduced Henry. He was a philosophy professor in Germany, quite established and most importantly single. 
They had a lovely dinner and after that’s where they had a conversation. Just two girls who found love. 
“I see that we both found someone in just two months” 
“I told you that our time would come, we just had to be patient and most importantly prepared”
“Oh, I’m not prepared at all Sarah, I haven’t even kissed him, I keep avoiding his lips” 
“I wouldn't avoid him at all” with a teasing smile she was met
“Sarah!”
“What? You found a dreamy guy darling”
“Tell me about Henry though?”
“I met him on the cruise, in just under a month I fell in love with him” 
“I’m happy for you, for us”
“I’ve learned that even though I’m old, I still deserve the love that I never had, and it feels great. How about you?”
“I learned that Love comes when you’re not searching for it, when you don't allow your insecurities to block your process of accepting yourself, because now I believe that I’m enough for myself and him” 
“Good acceptance has to come from within, thanks for this party darling, now let’s go enjoy this new journey that is love” with a giddy laugh and a hug they finally found the love that they desperately deserved. 
Waking back inside her and Rúben said their goodbyes. She made her way with her luggage to Ruben’s place. Now she was nervous, she didn’t know what to expect. It had only been two weeks since they officially started dating but again all of this was new to her. 
“I’m happy for Sarah” 
“Me too, she deserves it” 
“I’m happy for us as well” he turned to look at her, and with tiny steps he made his way towards her. To lift her into a bone crushing hug. There she felt safe and comfortable, his touch made everything very real. 
“Put me down Rúben” 
“No, I like having you in my arms” 
“Me too, but I have to start looking for a home, I can’t stay with you for too long, don’t want to invade your space” 
“You won’t take any space from me, besides I’ll help you look” with a kiss to her cheek he let her down. 
“Umm… will you stay in my room with me or the guest room?”
“It’s up to you” 
“No it’s actually up to you, whatever you’re comfortable with” she was swinging from front to back, a thing she did when she was nervous and he had noticed it on other occasions as well, like the time she was contemplating kissing his cheek. 
“Can I stay with you?” she said very shyly but he still heard her. 
“ of course amor, we can cuddle before we sleep” 
“Just let me shower ok, and I take forever with my skin care just a heads up”
“I can’t wait, I’ll shower in the other bathroom” with another kiss from him he told her where the bathroom was and from there they went their separate ways. 
That was her time to freak out and reflect, it was going to be tough learning to share a space, especially if instead of getting rest she will become restless. 
Her skin care was complete, she had no clue why she did it if the stress wrinkles were going to make an appearance regardless. Especially when she came out and there he was laying down on his side of the bed that he had chosen. 
He noticed her presence and that’s when he put his phone down. She made her way to the bed very shyly, side to side she felt the awkwardness. 
“Can I cuddle you?” 
“Umm, yes” why did she squeak? 
“You sure?”
“Yes Rúben” 
That was his confirmation to lay on his side and pull her to his chest. However she wasn’t relaxing, probably overthinking everything.
“Just relax baby, it’s just a cuddle” 
“I know but, it’s weird that you want to willingly cuddle me” 
“You’re my girlfriend, of course I want to be close to you” looking up at him, she saw his calm and tired eyes. 
“I want to be close to you too, but I’m still nervous” 
“Why?”
“Do you stop yourself when it comes to me?” 
“I like what we have, not jumping straight in, I’m learning more about you, the emotional aspect, which makes me very confident for our future” 
“I want to build the physical connection as well with you, but I’m nervous” 
“Cuddling is a great way to start, instead of having your hands on my arm that’s holding you, why don’t you let them roam around” 
“Where though?”
“Touch my face, my arms, my chest, you choose” that only prompted her to be even more timid. So he grabbed her hands and placed them on his chest, after turning her to her side. There she softly traced patterns on his chest, until eventually her hands made their way to his soft cheeks. 
“You’re very handsome, like too pretty to be mine” 
“Well I’m yours, and I’m lucky that I have you” 
She was tracing his lips with her eyes, she wasn’t thinking clearly, she really couldn’t because he was gently caressing her hip. 
“I want you to kiss me” she said surely, with a hint of doubt that was instantly erased when he smiled. 
“I would love to kiss you, but what kind of kiss do you want?”
“I have no clue, I just want to feel your lips against mine”
Rúben noticed the jitters of nerves and anticipation, yet he was stuck. How do you kiss someone that hasn’t been kissed before. His first kiss was ages ago and he was probably more nervous to kiss her than he was when he first started experimenting. 
“I’m nervous” it was hard for him to admit but he had to be vulnerable. 
“Are you a bad kisser? Because if you are I won’t know the difference” 
“I hope I’m not, I just hope that I’m able to meet your expectations. How will I teach you to kiss?” She smiled softly as a way to reassure him that she was also in that crossroad. However she was always so chaotic and she kissed the corner of his mouth, shocking him, leaving him red and warm. 
“You’re definitely braver than me…” she connected their lips, it was just a tiny peck, but she did feel the softness and the spark that she was waiting for. She connected their foreheads and there she saw his smile. 
“I’m sorry…”
“You never have to apologize for kissing me, I’m the one that should be sorry”
“I just wanted to not think about it” 
“It was perfect don’t worry” 
“Perfect? I barely touched your lips”
“Doesn’t matter, our lips touched which is a kiss” 
“I’ve always been like this, but since I had you so close I had to do it” 
“I wanted to do it, but again I was afraid that I was going to scare you”
“Why would I be scared?”
“I don’t know”
“If you don’t know, you kiss me”  she noticed how he hesitated, and that's when her insecurities got to her. 
“It’s fine Ruben we can sleep now….” he lost the touch that she was providing.
 “…I hope you don’t mind but I’ll turn the other way, night Ruben” what can he do to show her that he really did want to kiss her? That he wanted all of her, but that he was actually scared.
“Wait amor, you have to understand that I do want to kiss you…”
“It’s fine…” 
“Can you look at me please?”
“I’m tired” with a groan, he had to put his thoughts together because she was very stubborn, and he couldn’t leave her in the dark 
“I don’t know how to make you comfortable ok, that’s what makes me scared. You love the idea of love, but it's hard ok, love is hard and I don’t want to let you down”
“Then you let me decide if love is hard, you said it yourself I’ve never loved or been loved before, but I’m starting to and so far it feels great…” she was finally facing him
“…it feels great because I have you, and I want to experience all of this but only if we’re both comfortable, thanks for worrying about me, but I won’t run away, I don’t think I can, I want to learn to love but only with you” 
“I’m sorry baby, I want to be enough for you…”
“You told me once that I was enough, and so are you ok”
“I won’t promise you that I will be perfect, but we will be good for each other and I know it…. I’m sorry” 
Their night ended with a hug, no kiss or anything else. Did he reject her? She had no choice but to stay in the dark, she knew that someone couldn't love if there was no intimacy. Sure love was about trust, honesty, good communication, but also it was about intimacy being physically connected and vulnerable. 
She wasn’t talking about sex, although that was something that completely terrified her, but more so the aspect of just kissing or touching with no other strings attached, just casual intimacy with some emotional connection, that was intimate as well right? 
She had to wake up alone and confused, maybe her little love story lasted for a few weeks. She was not made for love, she will always remain a dreamer. 
She let the tears fall, heavy sobs that were blurring her senses. So much so that she didn’t hear the door opening or even process those hands that were gently holding her face. 
He was desperately telling her to breathe, to look into his eyes. How can it be possible to get lost in the eyes of someone that was suffering.
She was the lost one, and he wanted her to find him, to meet his desperate eyes, so that he could take her pain away.
He knew that he should’ve waited in bed with her, but he wanted to surprise her with breakfast in bed. To make her feel welcomed in his home. She was probably thinking that he didn’t love her, that he had left. 
“Amor, please look at me, I’m right here…”
“Breathe baby, come back to me…” 
He didn’t know how long he had waited for her to come back. Eventually she noticed that she was wrapped in his arms. He didn’t leave? 
She heard the tiny whispers, the hushed ‘I love you’s’ and she felt the kisses he was placing on her head. He was here and he wasn’t leaving. 
“Rúben?”
“Yes baby?”
“You didn’t leave?”
“No amor, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed” she looked around the room and the tray was on the floor, along with some flowers. 
“I thought that you didn’t want to be with me” 
“Why baby, because I didn’t kiss you last night?”
“You probably think I’m weird” 
“No, look at me it was late yesterday, your eyes were droopy and I didn’t want you to have a rushed kiss, I really want to kiss you, devour you, and love you, but I don’t think you’re letting me” 
“I’m afraid” now she was looking at him, having his face so close, but so out of reach. 
“And so am I, like I told you before I’m afraid of not being able to love you the way you want to be loved, I want to meet all your expectations but it’s hard for me if you don’t let me in” 
“What do you want me to tell you? All my insecurities because I think that we will be here forever. I’m old and I’ve never had a boyfriend. The world moved on so fast, that I didn’t process being the only one that was left behind. Everyone that I went to school with are married, they have kids, heck some of them are even divorced and here I am being afraid of my boyfriend kissing me and then leaving. So I’m sorry if your rejection last night made me doubt if I was made to love…” 
The gasp she let out when he kissed her, when he held her so tightly that she was feeling every emotion. Hands on her face holding her from the force of his passion. 
He literally was getting lost in her, and she didn’t realize it yet but she was moving her lips against his, enjoying the warmth that he was spreading. 
The kiss started hungry, then it turned steady and finally it slowed down. Just lips moving against each other instead of tongues. Enjoying the softness and sureness of a simple yet beautiful kiss. 
He knew that she was enjoying it because she smiled and he had no choice but to melt their smiles together. Until only continuous pecks were placed, and maybe a whispered I love you from him. 
He did love her, the moment that she freaked out in the hospital, he fell in love. He had never seen someone so positive but also scared, he wanted to protect her and tell her every day that she was beautiful and loved. 
“I love you” he said in a raspy and tender tone. 
“Rúben?…”
“It might be too soon, but I don’t regret it, I don’t want to tiptoe around this relationship, I love you and I’m not afraid to admit it, this kiss sealed everything, you’re stuck with me” 
“I..I don’t know if I kissed you…”
“Linda the kiss was perfect, you kissed me with the same level of confidence that you’ve always had, don’t worry ok” 
“Rúben, I love you too, even though it’s too soon, but I’ve loved you since the moment you took my pizza” 
“I loved you since the hospital visit”
“You loved me first?”
“Why wouldn't I, the little package war put love right in my doorstep, I was so excited to pick up those boxes and place them against your door, it brought a rush that I had never experienced before, I felt alive even though at the moment it seemed like I was miserable, deep down I anticipated your presence, it was always you” 
“What now? Do we eat breakfast” 
“Yes let’s just continue to live in our own world, a world where love was made for you, because you were born to love and you waited until I showed up and for that I’m truly grateful” 
“I love you Rúben” 
“I love you too, my beautiful pebble” with another kiss he made her forget all her doubts…
Do you wonder if you were born to love? Because the answer to that is yes. To love someone else you have to believe that you’re enough for yourself. Love comes from within and when you master the mystery of self-love you will find someone that can appreciate and love who you are. 
Yes you can be a hopeless romantic and yes you can be a dreamer that loves the thrill of self-destruction, but never think that you’re not worthy of love. Time moves fast, it really does but there is always time to experience the unexpected journey of love.
A time will come for you to find love even if you wait years for it. There will be a person that was made for you and only you. That person will love everything that you deemed unworthy, your worst qualities, your worst insecurities and your shattered dreams. 
They will love you for who you are and who you want to be with no fear, because they also don’t want to end up alone, no one deserves to be lonely. Accept that everyone experiences life and love at different stages and when you least expect it, everything will fall into place and you will love and be loved.
The End….
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a/n: Thanks for reading. I wanted to write this story because I know that many of us struggle with the idea that we will never love, because the world is too unkind to us. We see so many of our friends or relatives living a happy life, yet we are unable to find that happiness that is to be loved. Again we are very young and we have a good chunk of our lives to love, but first let’s love ourselves, then a boy or a girl will show up and change our whole perspective. Remember you’re a beautiful mountain that deserves to be in the way. Lots of Love- Nat❤️
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Tag-List: @xjval / @justme-espcaping / @alexisquinnlee-bc / @trentskinator98 / @nightlockcornucopia / @kathb59 / @pjofics / @cinderellawithashoe / @jajajhaahaha / @alwaysclassyeagle
(This tag-list includes everyone that has asked me, if you want to be removed or added you can always let me know, and if your name is crossed out that means that you’ve changed your username)
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burntheedges-updates · 8 months
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Over Again - main post & chapter list
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This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges
Joel Miller x f!reader
summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming.
or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)
18+ minors DNI
key themes: alternating timeline (2000-2003 / 2023-2024), 90s/00s country and latin music and dancing, romance, family vibes series tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, banter, romance, light angst (plus the angst of thinking the other person is dead for 20 years, aka the TLOU norm), pet names (darlin’, baby, honey, pretty girl), small age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000), no use of y/n, teacher!reader (with vague details), smut (I'll update specific warnings for each chapter, but just FYI for later chapters: Joel calls reader a good girl, neck grabbing (no breath play), a bit of manhandling and spitting, a lot of sex) (feel free to dm any specific questions) a/n about reader: I've paid a lot of attention to how the reader is described in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. a/n: this is the first fic I've written in almost 20 years. this man, I swear. wordcount: 42.6k
This fic is completely finished and posted! Chapter links under the cut.
Read it on ao3
Bonus: Mix CD (plot related) & series playlist, with headcanons: here.
Chapter List
Five times you and Joel fell deeper in love…
Chapter 1 - Meet Cute - Jackson, Early Winter 2023 | Austin, Summer 2000
Chapter 2 - Breaking the Ice - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001
Chapter 3 - Dinner - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001
Chapter 4 - First Date - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001
Chapter 5 - Staying Over - Boston, September 26, 2003 | Jackson, Spring 2024
… and one time you did something about it.
Epilogue: Together - Austin, December 2002 | Jackson, Early Fall 2024
Outtakes and Snippets
Canned Heat (Austin, October, 2001)
Preview/sneak peeks: fic preview | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5
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burntheedges · 6 months
Text
Over Again - main post & chapter list
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note: I'm moving things to a new blog! I set up a full blog instead of a side blog, so please follow me here. The old blog is now @burntheedges-updates.
Joel Miller x f!reader
summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming.
or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)
18+ minors DNI
key themes: alternating timeline (2000-2003 / 2023-2024), 90s/00s country and latin music and dancing, romance, family vibes series tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, banter, romance, light angst (plus the angst of thinking the other person is dead for 20 years, aka the TLOU norm), pet names (darlin’, baby, honey, pretty girl), small age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000), no use of y/n, teacher!reader (with vague details), smut (I'll update specific warnings for each chapter, but just FYI for later chapters: Joel calls reader a good girl, neck grabbing (no breath play), a bit of manhandling and spitting, a lot of sex) (feel free to dm any specific questions) a/n about reader: I've paid a lot of attention to how the reader is described in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. a/n: this is the first fic I've written in almost 20 years. this man, I swear. wordcount: 42.6k
This fic is completely finished and posted! Chapter links under the cut.
Read it on ao3
Bonus: Mix CD (plot related) & series playlist, with headcanons: here.
Chapter List
Five times you and Joel fell deeper in love…
Chapter 1 - Meet Cute - Jackson, Early Winter 2023 | Austin, Summer 2000
Chapter 2 - Breaking the Ice - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001
Chapter 3 - Dinner - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001
Chapter 4 - First Date - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001
Chapter 5 - Staying Over - Boston, September 26, 2003 | Jackson, Spring 2024
… and one time you did something about it.
Epilogue: Together - Austin, December 2002 | Jackson, Early Fall 2024
Outtakes and Snippets
Canned Heat (Austin, October, 2001)
Preview/sneak peeks: fic preview | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5
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snowbellewells · 8 months
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Let's spread some love 😘. What are some of your top five favourite cs fics?
Okay Anon, so I genuinely haven't been ignoring your question, and I truly do LOVE to sing the praises of our many, MANY talented CS and OuaT fic writers, but it is so hard to have an answer of only 5!!! I would honestly say it is pretty much impossible!!! (Krystal @kmomof4 did force me to give her a Top 5 list this summer, but I only did it because she insisted it was necessary ;p and I'm still not sure it would always be the same five, depending on mood and what I'm JONESING for - ha ha, that pun was unintentional! - at the moment!)
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In all seriousness though, even at that, I had to make up multiple brackets, like "normal" people do for the NCAA Sweet 16, to try to narrow down my choices. For real! I had several different sheets just to try to narrow it down somewhat: One Shots, Two or Three Shots, Short MCs, Long (Epic) MCs, Enchanted Forest fics, Modern AU Fics, Missing Moment/Canon Compliant Fics, Canon Divergent Fics, Whump and Hurt Comfort fics, you get the idea....It went on and on!
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Still, in the effort to at least attempt to answer your question, and highlight some great stories and authors, as @booksteaandtoomuchtv did a few days ago, here's a sampling from my shorter story favorites (in no particular order, and certainly not complete or extensive)
Some AMAZING shorter works:
"One Jump Ahead" by: @andromeda3116
"A Charm of Powerful Trouble" by: @spartanguard
"It's Not Your Eyes" and "Round and Round" by: @killians-dimples (on ff.net that's the username anyway)
"Hold My Heart"// "All for Love" /// "Lessons Learned" /// "A Place Called Home" by: Montana-Rosalie (again, sorry it's ff.net, but sometimes I've loved them long enough that's the only place I can find them! And if you thought her MCs could be devastating, well, she can do it in one shots too!!)
"With You" by: @seastarved
"Protective" and "Monster Tamer" by: @vickyvicarious
"Every End is a New Beginning" by: @drowned-dreamer
"Moonlit Comfort" by: @imlaxdris71 (Just FYI - this is technically Irish Swan Trio)
"Slipped Away" by: @niniadepapa
"A Light to Fight the Shadows" and "Breathe Out (so I can breathe you in)" by: ladybonehollows
"Double-Edged" by: @iverna
"Saudade" by: @apiratewhopiness
"Raging Fire"// "My Pleasure"// "Hope for the Orphans" // "An Education in Southern Gothic" // "Blackbird" // "Something Beautiful" // "Better than Chocolate Cake" by: @searchingwardrobes
"Hope is the Thing with Feathers" by: @searchingwardrobes and @hollyethecurious
"Somewhere Out There" and "In the Viper's Den" by: @kmomof4
"Flicker from View" // "Never Nothing" // "the Swan and her Handler" // "The Promises We Keep" by: @elizabeethan
"Drift" and "Leaving Las Vegas" by: @thisonesatellite
*** Okay, this got away from me Nonnie! And I'm gonna have to come back with another post - this is already super-long, and it's just the shorter ones, and I know I've left out many authors I simply adore! I'll be back with longer ones, maybe I should try to make it a Friday habit. Hope this answers your question at any rate! :)
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blmuebaby · 19 days
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໒꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱১ ✮ ₊˚⊹ ⎯ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⎯ ⊹˚₊ ✮
hello hello, and welcome to my page, aka the place where I'll either be screaming into the void or writing about hazbin hotel to spark the happy feels! I'm not the best writer, but I hope you'll stick around to see where this goes ᡣ𐭩
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𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝓮 ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
my name's cordelia (cory or coco, for a shorter version), and I've been on tumblr for awhile, on different accounts, but i never really actually sat down and engaged with everything. I love music (my spotify will be linked here, if you wanna see what I listen too), making ocs, the color pink, and about another hundred things!
most of the time, I don't really watch anything with the exception of hazbin hotel and a few other hand picked shows, such as carmen sandiego, h2o, and tmnt, though as of lately, hazbin hotel has been my main little fixation going on and will be the main focus of this blog, even if other things appear ^^
though, as for what's on this blog, it'll be mostly x reader fanfiction of some of my favorite characters (cough alastor cough), as well as writing about my oc, and sometimes even art made by my friends (since I don't draw personally, and if you're interested in drawing one of my ocs, feel free to show me in my ask box ^^)
I like to think I'm a very friendly person, so feel free to comment, dm, and @ me in things as you see fit ^^ I love making new friends, especially if you also like tmnt or if you simply wanna get to know me !!
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𝓶𝔂 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
most of the time, I'll only really write smut and angst as I feel like whenever I write fluff it's drawn out and boring, but I'll still try to write it sometimes!
one of my favorite things to write is romance, so expect much of that, and sometimes I'll repeat tropes and stuff ): so if you have a specific kinda thing you wanna see/read, please ask in my ask (not my dms please) and I'll get onto it ^^
whenever I do write smut, the characters are 18+ of age, either aged up via a timeskip or later on in a series, or simply because they are already above that age, I will not write smut for characters that look underage but are 'actually many many of thousand of years old' as I find it uncomfortable to do so (that whole trope kinda weirds me out as a whole, yk? it's gross)
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𝓶𝔂 𝓽𝓪𝓰𝓼 ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
( ᘐ੭ 🌺 xoxo chats ⁀ᘞ ⋆ ₊˚ ⊹ ) — this is the tag I use whenever I'm just randomly posting stuff, or polls, or anything that's just kinda there, yk?
( ᘐ੭ 🎀 hornee ⁀ᘞ ⋆ ₊˚ ⊹ ) — smut, oh lord the smut !! this may be the most common tag you'll see on my page, just a fyi ᡣ𐭩
( ᘐ੭ 🍰 sugary ⁀ᘞ ⋆ ₊˚ ⊹ ) — fluff, tooth-aching sweet fluff !! this tag contains all the soft and loving fics I write ^^
( ᘐ੭ 💫 depression ⁀ᘞ ⋆ ₊˚ ⊹ ) — angst, wanna be sad? here's the tag for you, darlings! I may not write many of these, but oh I love them !!
( ᘐ੭ 🧸 oc blabs ⁀ᘞ ⋆ ₊˚ ⊹ ) — I'll use this tag whenever I rant about my ocs, which may be a lot, if I'm being honest…
( ᘐ੭ 🌸 creations ⁀ᘞ ⋆ ₊˚ ⊹ ) — a complete overview tag of everything I make myself, be it writing or playlists, etc etc
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written property of ﹫blmue — please do not copy, plagiarize or steal, thank you
use the ask button to be added to the list !! tagging — none rn ):
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moonlightdancer26 · 11 months
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Hi! So I didn’t know how to leave an ask and left it in the submissions tab instead. My friend corrected me a few minutes ago, so I’m so sorry for any confusion. 😬. anyway, my ask is: I love Snupin. But like, the same popular fics are recced and I want something else long and completed with this pairing because Remus and Severus deserve it. So. I noticed you liked Snupin too, so if you have any under appreciated snupin long fic recs, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!
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Lmaoo you’re adorable 😭❤️
Tbh I agree, nowadays the closest thing I can get to long Snupin fics are long-ish one-shots or smut fics 🧍‍♀️
About a year ago I made a long Snupin fic list (I literally have the link saved as “Ultimate Snupin fic list” in case anyone asks 😀), the first three fics are the most popular ones so I’m sure it’s part of the same popular fics you’ve mentioned 😅 but they still are really good! If you haven’t read one of them you should definitely give it a chance. That Awful Boy (it’s a series) is my favourite Snupin fanfic of all time (+ Lily’s Boy, but TAB satisfies more of my… Snupin needs, if that makes sense), and it’s very underrated imo. But of course, like all great fics, it’s ongoing, and the author hasn’t updated since 2021 (fun fact, they posted their most recent chapter a day after I joined tumblr for the first time), which—if you’ve lost all sense of time, like me—was 2 years ago. 💔 (no one understands my depression over this, that fic healed all what needed to be healed) But I’m sure the list will be of great use to you, but fyi the fics get shorter as the list goes on (the end basically just consists of one-shots), the longest are at the top.
I hope I’ve helped, thanks for asking me!
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sick-bay · 4 months
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I recently read some incredible whump in the manga I'm currently reading. Let me tell you all about it (tbh there's a lot of whump in this manga but a lot of it is a lil unsatisfying to me bc the character can manipulate his own blood and then also heals himself just like that so whenever he gets hurt it's actually a good thing and makes him stronger. Honestly I'm thinking of making a whump list about it though! The manga is really good and interesting and like I said, there's a lot of whumpy scenes).
So the manga is called Miyabichi no Onmyouji.
This is the description of it on the website I'm reading it on:
A time when the boundary between human and demon was vague. Ten sacred items – “Jingi” had been stolen from Mikado’s Treasury by some demons. An imperial order to recover the Jingi was given to all the Onmyōji in the capital, including “the heretic” – Fuzuki. He sets out to retrieve the first Jingi, but something unthinkable happened…
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So the good whump starts in chapter 14 and lasts until chapter 17.
After fighting a demon and using too much blood to fight, Fuzuki is exhausted but then another demon shows up, this one even stronger than the previous one. He quickly beats Fuzuki and pins him to the wall and then puts a curse on him.
Ranmaru, a little half-demon weasle kid who Fuzuki promised to protect comes back after Fuzuki told him to escape while he fought the demon and manages to take Fuzuki to a safe place (for now).
Then the following happens (I wish I could make this shorter but everything about it is just so good, I need you all to see this!):
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(Just FYI Ranmaru's mother died not too long ago and she left that handkerchief with him, so it's his treasure. Ranmaru and Fuzuki don't get along very well so him using his precious handkerchief to help Fuzuki is very heartwarming.)
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After this, the demon that beat Fuzuki and put that curse on him shows back up but another Onmyouji (Toyochika) and also Fuzuki's right hand-man (a wolf demon named Hakuro) show up just in time to fight him off and save Fuzuki and Ranmaru.
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(The next chapter is about Fuzuki and Toyochika's past. But the nice whump isn't quite over yet!)
Toyochika performs the curse removal and Fuzuki has a nightmare about his mean step-mother who despised him and made him do something terrible. Then it continues like this: 
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And that's pretty much where it ends (afterwards Fuzuki goes to Ranmaru's room, Ranmaru wakes up and tries to jump onto Fuzuki to hug him but he stops him and tells him 'not to jump at him so casually' and that makes Ranmaru very happy because Fuzuki being mean like this means he's back to normal.)
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darklydeliciousdesires · 11 months
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The Dream - Chapter Ten.
BESTIES! Who wants a double update? It’s here, you’re getting one! I figured I would, since the next two chapters are a little shorter, both coming in at under 3k in the word count. Going forward, I think we’ll do a 40 note unlock for a double update, and a 30 note unlock for a single one. Sounds fair, doesn’t it? Well, I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you here. Looking forward to your thoughts, as ever :)
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Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine
Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed (note: those not engaging will be automatically removed from the tag list, FYI)
Words - 2,648
Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!
“He’s still acting strange with you, then?” Angel asked, winding noodles around his fork. They were at the Chinese restaurant Keri had said she wanted to take him to, discussing her current predicament with Aaron.  
“Well, kind of,” she began, poking at the pastry on one of the spring rolls before her. “He’ll ask what Rachel, Frankie and I are talking about, and if I say you, then he’ll just close up, or make some remark. He still has you pegged as a scumbag.”
Angel looked entertained by that. “Some people think I am, and if that’s what he wants to believe without ever actually meeting me, then that’s up to him.” He scratched his beard, shrugging. “I ain’t losing sleep over it, neither should you.”
“I’m trying not to, but it irritates me. What you do doesn’t have anything to do with him,” she stated, Angel chewing through his mouthful of food quickly, reaching to cover her hand with his.  
“Don’t let it bother you, especially when he’s only looking out for you. You just don’t like it because it probably throws up a little conflict for you too, doesn’t it?”  
She felt a little uncomfortable at his presenting of the truth like that, but decided it was best to be honest. “A bit, if I’m real with you.”
“All you gotta know is the following; what I do and who I am are very different things, alright?” He paused then, Keri sipping her iced tea, nodding. “How about the other guy in your group, Ash, is it? Does he think the same?”
“I’ve no idea, since we haven’t seen him for more than a half hour at a time, if that, for the past few weeks. He’s two years above us and currently coming to the end of taking his master's degree in biochemistry, so he’s literally absconded to his room or the study suites at college as he prepares for his finals in April. I doubt he’d take an issue, though. You guys have a common ground, a love for Harley’s,” she explained.
“Oh yeah?” Angel was interested at that. “What does he ride?”
She sat and thought on it, trying to remember, knowing she could only come out with something that was going to make her look utterly ridiculous. “Erm, it’s red. That’s about all I can tell you.”
He laughed softly at that. “You’re too cute.”  
“I am as my Instagram bio states, Provo village idiot.”
Her words sparked something in him then, something he’d been meaning to ask for a while. “Speaking of you Insta, I need to know what made you choose the profile name you did. I mean, I know I was boring and just chose my name and birth year, but yeah, kinda curious to know how girl where photo came about?”
Keri was laughing softly before she’d even spoken, remembering the event that had led to it well. “I changed it after something funny that happened about a year ago. We have these students who came over from Thailand at our college, doing some long-term exchange programme through their church, and they’re the sweetest kids but back then, their English was still a little bit basic at best.  
“So, one of them, Trinh, his name is, asked me if I could take some photographs of him to send to his family back home of him up in the mountains where the scenery is so breathtaking, so I agreed. Anyway, I said I’d print the ones he’d chosen, but between our busyness with studies, it took me a while to get them done, and he was obviously quite excited about seeing them, so ran up one morning in the hall and shouted, ‘girl where photo?’ at me. It sounds like he was being rude, but he was just so excited, and he couldn’t remember my name either, so yeah, that explains it. Frankie couldn’t breathe! Every time he sees me now, he yells it at me. It’s our thing.”
He laughed, resting his fork down when he’d finished, Keri taking another bite out of one of the spring rolls before her. “So, tell me how the love of photography started, then. You know, out of all the things we’ve talked about so far, I don't think I ever asked that."
Sitting there listening to her explain how she’d first come to love taking pictures with her grandmother’s old wind on camera when she was four, excitedly visiting the local one-hour photo place with her to get them developed, Angel smiled widely all the way through. He couldn’t help but note that he’d never felt so comfortable with someone in such a short space of time, the way they'd fallen into easy conversation, like two old friends becoming reacquainted after a period of separation.
How he felt when he was with her in his sleep was definitely mirrored by the reality of such, Keri seeming to settle well despite – as he could tell clearly – being quite nervous earlier as they’d left the airport. She’d almost crashed into a concrete post on her way out of the car park.  
As for Keri, if only Angel knew how well she was hiding the fact that inside, all she could hear were panicked honking noises. Supressing her nerves was a battle she was mostly winning, but boy, she was working her ass off to keep it all hidden. Yes, she felt comfortable with him, and he was just a nice as he’d seemed thus far, but she still couldn’t believe he was sitting across the table from her.
This man, this completely irresistibly gorgeous man, a man she would have considered out of her league, was sitting there looking like he was honestly enjoying getting to know her. Her inner self? Anxious. She revealed those thoughts too after they’d left the restaurant, Keri stopping in at Frankie and Jaime’s apartment so she could leave her car behind and Angel could drop his bag inside, taking an Uber down to The Lounge.
“So, how’s it going?” Frankie asked, Keri greeting them both with a kiss while Angel went to the bar.  
“Help! He’s too hot for me, I’m out of my depth and only just holding it together to act like a normal person and not spiral into one long calamity Joe parody of myself!” she hissed, seating herself on the opposite couch, a narrow table dividing them.  
“Love, you need to cease with these thoughts,” Jaime began, reaching to squeeze her wrist. “You have no idea how much of a knockout you are, do you?” Here they were, Keri’s usual nerves and self-doubt when it came to men, especially in that moment, walking in with a very attractive one, the kind of guy that looks wise, she should have always aimed for, rather than selling herself short because she didn’t believe she could do better.  
Keri waved her hand dismissively, shaking her head. “Stop, I am not!” Just then, Angel arrived back with them, placing down a pitcher of margaritas before a surprised looking Frankie and Jaime, and the same with beer for him and Keri, plus two glasses he pulled from his back pockets. He indicated he’d be back, returning with exactly the same order again.
“You trying to get us wasted there?” Frankie asked, arching an eyebrow.  
“Ah, shit. She sussed me,” he laughed, before pointing back at the bar. “Your local ice hockey team just walked in, so I double ordered everything. Ain’t nobody getting close to that bar between the big dudes and all the hockey groupies down there.”
“I believe the term is puck bunny,” Jaime spoke, pouring out a fresh drink for her and Frankie. “And you say that like you’re not a big dude when really, you’re what? Six three?”
“Yeah, about that,” he confirmed, passing a beer to Keri. “I feel like a damned giant compared to this one.”  
“Everyone is a giant compared to me and my five four tininess.” she laughed, cringing a little. Their conversation moved on, the girls all getting to know Angel a little better, laughing hard at stories of his youth, some of the antics he found himself involved in, the kind of life he’d had so very different from theirs. He enjoyed it, too, in turn hearing about them, learning of their lives, yet there was only one person he craved alone time with in order to do more of the same.
“What?” he questioned hours later when they’d returned to the apartment, Keri grinning to herself beside him, both all bundled in a comforter and blankets to ward out the chilly February cold. When the heat went off in the apartment, the temperature dropped quickly, and boy, you felt it.  
“Nothing,” she spoke softly, shaking her head. “I'm just having a 'holy shit he's right there' moment again. It's good, but still weird.”
He could identify with such. “Same. I can't believe I'm here either.” His smile reached his gorgeous, dark eyes, reaching to squeeze her shoulder. “So, tell me things about you that I don’t already know, then.”
Her eyes widened a fraction, and it made his pulse skip. She was even lovelier than her pictures or presence in his dreams had alluded to. “Gosh!” she began, combing her hair away from her face with her fingers. “I don’t even know where to start!”  
“Alright, I’ll ask, you tell?” he suggested, Keri nodding.  
“Okie dokie, and you answer too!” And so, they began.
“What’s something you have more knowledge about more than anybody else you know?” Oh, that was an interesting choice. Thinking on it, he didn’t seem the type who’d be interested in run of the mill, getting to know you small talk. And as she replied about her love and knowledge of Nikon cameras, with Angel asking interesting specifics, she truly saw that he was much smarter than he appeared in how he articulated himself.  
His wasn’t academically smart, but she enjoyed how direct he was, how original the questions were that he asked of her, and how perceptive he appeared to be. Therefore, she matched him, knowing that he wouldn’t be the type to be pacified by asking what his favourite movie or colour was. In truth, neither was she.  
“If you could sit and spend an evening talking to anyone from history, alive or dead, who would it be?”
He beamed. “Yo, that’s a fuckin’ great question.” He took a pause, considering his options. The fantasy woman of his early teens, model Helena Christensen immediately popped into his head, but it would be gauche to reply with a beautiful woman, and he could do much better than that. “Che Guevara. I admire those who don’t play by the rules in order to achieve a better balance where power is concerned. Rebellion and revolution, people who stand up against oppression, I think it’s brave and bold, amazing even, the ripple effect that one person and their ideas can cause. How about you?”
Her reply was immediate. “Annie Leibovitz. The way she captures so much personality of her subjects in her photography, making the images so deeply personal, almost like they’re just a moment captured in a sequence of motion. Her images might be still, but they move. They have vibrance, some of her works even remind me of Renaissance paintings. She’s truly masterful.”  
“I guess there’s a lot more to photography than there appears at first glance, right? It ain’t just about pointing a camera at your subject and clicking. I think it’s a really interesting art form, although I know very little about it. What’s your favourite picture you’ve ever taken?”  
Immediately, she reached for her phone. “This one got taken off of my Instagram, even though I censored the boobies, but here.” Clicking on the image, it enlarged, Keri turning her phone to show Angel the photograph of Frankie, naked but a Pride flag wrapped around her waist, one hand holding herself up as she swung from the overhead bars of the black iron fire escape outside of the apartment, the other hand raising her middle finger, a cigarette hanging from the corner of her glossed pout. “It’s just her, unapologetically her. I captured the entire essence of Frances Scarvo in one picture, which was my aim.”
Angel studied it, loving the details, the light, the way the shadows fell over her lithe muscles, the shaft of sunlight shining down onto the tall building glinting the defiance in her eyes. “I fucking love it, you’re right, the way you’ve captured so much of her in it. I mean, I don’t even know her, but what I’ve noticed in her, her total confidence and pride in being an out lesbian, her humour and her strength, it’s all here. It’s unapologetic, just like you said. You should print this for her and frame it.”
“Already did,” she revealed. “It’s hanging in the bedroom, next to one I took of Jamie in a bubble bath. One I ended up slipping on the edge of the tub and falling into with her fully clothed. I just about had chance to throw my camera at Frankie and save it, rather than save myself.”  
He laughed softly, imagining it. “Calamity Joe strikes again, huh?”
“Don’t you start calling me that, too!” The laughter they shared was so natural and easy, Angel loving that she didn’t take herself too seriously, her slight clumsiness a source of her own amusement just as much as it was everyone else’s.  
He reached for her, thumb skimming her cheek, the gesture small, but big enough to make her heart flutter. “It’s good to see you relax a little at last. I’ve noticed it, how hard you’ve been working to not let your nerves get the better of you.  
Shit. And she thought she’d fooled him. Angel Reyes, it seemed, was even more perceptive than she’d realised. “I want to be like I am with you in our dreams,” she began, Angel raising an eyebrow in a manner that bordered on lascivious. “Not like that!” she admonished playfully, slapping his chest with the back of her hand. “Well, not yet, anyway. You get what I mean, though.”
At the suggestion of those connotations manifesting in reality, he felt a little flicker of arousal stir within his depths. He couldn’t help it, the attraction he felt only strengthening in reality. “I do, I understand.” He’d keep it in check, though, for her comfort. “Okay, I thought of something else. If you could visit any period of time in history, when would you choose and why?”
“One of the prehistoric ages, so I could witness dinosaurs, the cretaceous period in particular. As long as in this hypothesis I could be somewhere safe, I’d love to sit and view them, the triceratops, the velociraptors, the tyrannosaurs rex. Can you imagine how incredible that would be? I have so much awe about them. There’ve been quite a few remains found in Moab, so I like to visit whenever I have time, go and see the skeletons in the museum there. I never get bored. How about you?”  
All the way through her explanation, she’d noticed his smile widening, his reply confirming what she was beginning to think. “Exactly the same. All that shit is fascinating. You gotta take me to that museum! I’ve never been to see the bones in person before, but looking at pictures, the scale ones that show just how huge they were, it’s mind-blowing, trying to imagine something that big ever walking the earth.”
Finding something they were both geeks over kept them talking for a long time before their conversation eventually moved on, 2am rolling around, and neither feeling even remotely tired. Even if they were, they wouldn’t have been prepared to have called time on something they were enjoying so much.  
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madefate · 10 months
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just an fyi - i have a ton of muse but i'll probably be super low activity ( esp ooc ) because i'm the sickest i've been in years tbh. that being said, i'm honestly not a fan of plotting in the first place, so if you have literally anything at all you want to throw @ me ( my highest muse list is up to date in my pinned to make choosing easier ! i know choice can be overwhelming, so even though everyone is open the most muse list is shorter ) PLEASE feel free. asks, starters, etc. crossovers & ocs always welcome. i'm hoping if i make an effort this weekend to do something fun for myself i'll feel better!
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puppysweetheart · 2 months
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just as like an FYI i do occasionally make minor updates to my pinned, so if you want to see the list of things i'm not into grow ever shorter, i recommend checking back from time to time
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guksauce · 2 years
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~TickledPink!~
Part Eight
Pairing: Jjk x Reader Pregnant AU
Word Count: 3,065K
Rated: M
Book Warnings: Mentions of Sexual Assault, Mild Smut, Adult Language, Fluff City Bish, 18+
Author: @guksauce
Notes: Hey! Quick note before we start- In October it’ll be TWO YEARS since I posted Chapter 7. I couldn’t be more sorry to those of you who have eagerly awaited new parts to this story, to this family. I’ve promised lots to come in the past and I intend on keeping that promise. FYI: everything from here on out will be shorter and the timeline will be more drastic simply because I don’t see myself squeezing too much more out of this. I have many more projects in progress for my Taekook fans and my Yoongi Stan’s, so please look forward to that. If there are any things you’d like to see come from this story or wonder where the characters are in the future, feel free to ask questions or reach out! Thank you to those who show this story and myself, lots of love and support despite my hiatus. I hope you get out of this what you’ve been longing for! Thank you!
Tag List: @jamkookies @jk97luv @1-in-abillion @cityofdreams-writing
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Today is unseasonably warm for early December. The sweater you'd chosen for today in hopes that the winter breeze would be enough to make you shiver sticks uncomfortably to your arms. It doesn't help that it's been raining since you woke up this morning. It's disgustingly humid. At fourteen weeks pregnant, after standing in front of the counter at Smoothie Central for the last 15 minutes staring up at the blackboard hanging on the wall and studying the endless list of flavors written in at least 8 different colors, you didn't think it would already be this difficult to make a decision about food. Yet, here you are, on the verge of tears because there's a note in the corner of the board that says you can combine any flavors you want and you aren't sure if you'd rather have mint chocolate chip or razzle dazzle raspberry.
Snapped out of your internal debate, you are grateful to be met with a pair of pretty honey brown eyes and chocolate cropped hair, accompanied by a smile that reminds you of Tae. “I hear the mango raspberry swirl is really wonderful.” The girl suggests, offering the tissue hanging in her hand. Sighing thankfully with a slight bow of your head, you take it.
“Do you think if I stand here long enough, someone will decide for me?” You whine, wiping away a fallen tear, the air feeling cooler and anxiety lifting as the two of you laugh together. “Thank you so much. I'm sorry for being a mess. If you're in line, please go ahead of me. I'm obviously too emotional to order a smoothie.” The same Tae-inspired smile that graces her lips says that she doesn't mind.
“You're okay! I just walked in. It's honestly enough to just be out of the heat.” Deciding for you, she steps up to the counter and orders one Mango Raspberry Swirl smoothie and you wonder what part of your messy teary-eyed existence she felt compelled to talk to. Dabbing away more tears, you begin to feel lighter.
“Thank you so much for doing this, you really didn’t have to.” You suppose the kindness of a stranger has its way of doing that but when she returns with your drink in one hand, her other dripping condensation from her Mocha Green Tea drink, you’re further surprised when she motions to a table in the corner against the window.
“I know. But! If there’s anything I've learned from teaching a classroom full of wild children is that I CANNOT imagine what it would be like to have one inside of me.” The laughter that bubbles out of you both for the next hour feels unfamiliar. Even before your life had been graced by seven amazing men, friendships of adolescent life had been nonexistent to you. Between working twelve hour shifts at the diner and a few failed attempts at emotional connections with potential partners, life had been slow. The other women at work were older than you, only working at the diner to make enough money to afford a bus ticket back to their hungry families at home. They were sweet to you but friendship? That wasn't something you'd had since Namjoon still lived there.
Three and a half months was hardly enough time to start showing but you supposed your emotional state filled that gap. But still, you were curious to see what the woman across from you had to say. “How did you know? That I'm pregnant.” A single sip of your swirled smoothie has you both melting in your chair and buzzing to life at the same time.
“There are several expecting mothers at the Kindergarten I teach at. And a few others in various trimesters in some of my lectures at the University, it's hard not to notice. I’d know a teary eyed mother anywhere.” It's beyond endearing, the way she tilts her head when she's talking. The accent lingering on her tongue comes through a little rougher than she probably realizes but you can tell she's working hard to perfect her Korean. Through your admiration, you shoot a hand in her direction. “I'm Y/n by the way. It’s lovely to meet you.” Her response is just as adoring as she grips your hand firmly into her own. It's soft and you find yourself oddly connected to her. “I'm Jojo. You too.”
The entire afternoon is filled with effortless chatter. Jojo tells you she's from Albania and is here to study at Seoul National University, majoring in philosophy with a minor in English where she uses the skill to teach Kindergarteners to speak fluently. She tells you she lives just a couple blocks from here and has a side job at a coffee shop that you're sure you recognize as Namjoon's favorite. You wonder if they've ever spoken to each other before and realize just how small the world is.
The longer you sit together in front of the rain-streaked window and chat like two elderly women in a hair salon, the easier it gets to dive deeper into each other’s worlds. You’re fascinated by her ability to soak up knowledge and you quickly become comfortable with this quirky, straightforward, and boyish side to her. Jokes come flying from her lips and you can't remember when the last time was that you had laughed quite this hard. It was enthralling to say the least. She reminded you of Namjoon for that very reason. You wanted to take Jojo home with you to meet the guys right away, and you felt silly for thinking like one of her students on show-and-tell day, but you didn't care. This was the first thing you'd truly done on your own since you arrived in Seoul. However, you weren't sure if it was even allowed, or if Jojo would be interested in something like that. So, you settle for taking her number and promise her, under the cover of matching black umbrellas and unforgiving gray skies, that you'll give her a call tomorrow, parting ways with the new friend you’d just made. The tears you’d cried earlier were long since forgotten and the day was brighter despite its angry state, now filled with fresh blended berries and laughter. You couldn't wait to see the boys; entering the house with such force that Jin, from his lazy position on the couch, jumps at least a foot and a half and yells a short string of obscenities before realizing it’s you.
“Jesus Christ Y/n! You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing barging in here like that you little demon.” It's hard to be sorry when you're doubled over with laughter, all but cackling, your knees threatening to give out underneath you. Jin can’t hold back his laughter either, chuckling heavily as he watches a side of you unfold that he's never had the pleasure of witnessing before. Watching your small hand caress the beginning of your tiny baby bump, he remembers the sweet girl Namjoon grew up with. This same sweet girl he’d heard in many calls, seen in many facetimes, and had been told countless stories about. Jin hadn’t had much time with you since your arrival in their home, but your calm demeanor blended well with the rest of his members and he was happy to have you there regardless of everyone else’s opinion. You’d quickly become somewhat of a little sister to him through the eyes of his best friend over the years and he was going to make certain that you had men in your life that would protect you and care for you. And he was going to start right now with a little bit of food bribery. Standing from the couch, his mind shot straight to food, thinking it a surefire way to spend the start of the evening with you.
“Come on. I was about to make some ramen. Are you hungry?” Looking after him fondly, you smiled at the brother you wished you'd had. Tall and kind, he was the brother you’d imagined would spontaneously make you ramen just in time to spoil whatever dinner may have come shortly after. Eagerly, you hopped onto the stool at the island and laced your hands together in front of you with mock patience. “Yes, please.”
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By the time evening rolled around, the sun had sunk far beneath the horizon and was replaced by the face of the moon. The temperature had dropped significantly and the rain had subsided. Once again the group had piled into the living room in front of the roaring fireplace when the shrill ring of Namjoons phone broke through the light chatter they shared. “Hello?” Joon greets sleepily.
Behind you, laying on the floor, Jungkook reaches a hand up to rub softly at your back when your cross-legged position between him and Tae proves itself to be rather uncomfortable. You bend this way and that, and give up when the pain in your back seems to worsen. Switching to a more comfortable position on your side in front of him, you play idly with the tassels hanging from Tae’s sweater. If it hadn’t been for the unhappy and knowing glances Joon kept shooting you, you would have cuddled back against the sleepy bunny behind you already, your own eyes getting more and more droopy with every passing minute. The guilt bubbling in your stomach keeps you where you are but it doesn’t stop Jungkook from running the backs of his fingers up and down your spine.
“Three days!? How did-” Namjoon all but shouts, accidentally knocking Hobi and Jin off of his shoulders when he sits up bone straight in response to whatever news he receives. “No. Of course not! But-” Whatever the news is, Joons mix of emotions makes everyone a little more on edge. Especially Jimin, who had been curled up on Yoongi’s lap resting his eyes, was now sitting up and concerned for the seriousness of the conversation taking place.
“Yes, Sir.” Namjoon stated, a small smile forming on his lips, the initial shock dissipating. In place of the shock, Joon rockets out of his spot and leaps into the air like a popped kernel and screams, “WE’RE GOING ON A WORLD TOUR!” Simultaneously each of the members shoot up the same as Joon had, all of them creating a single bag of combusting corn, popping up to hug each other tight. Everyone except...you. Watching them huddle together and cheer happily of course makes your heart thrum excitedly, but a tour means...they’ll be gone. For how long?
Sneaking away to the kitchen, you do everything you can not to let your pregnant hormonal emotions ruin this moment for them. You can hear them going crazy in the living room, even Yoongi who happily sings out a similar goal chant to the one you’ve heard them shout out before while watching pro-soccer games on TV. Amongst it all, Jimin suggests that they go out on the town tonight before they have to leave in 3 days and your heart beats a little harder in your ears, stinging hot tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Hurriedly, you grab a glass from the cabinet with shaky hands and fill it with cold water from the faucet to the brim before chugging it down. It doesn't help, no matter how bad you want it to. The house is going to be empty. There will be no one. Just me behind these locked doors? What if someone gets in? The boys’ voices rawr through the house, their happiness filling it so completely as they shoot off in different directions violently to get themselves ready, that your emotions are being roughly tugged through the layers of trauma you'd worked so hard to forget.
“Y/n?” You almost don't hear Kook when he calls out to you. It feels like your entire being is just flooding with water over your head and you're starting to drown. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Chest heaving and throat closing, you turn with your hands crossed over your chest to the man of your dreams, embarrassment swirling into the concoction of emotions you’ve already created in your mind. It overwhelms you, swallows you further under the water and finally a thick sob spills out of you allowing you to breathe again. Jungkook closes the distance between the two of you faster than he can say your name again, securing an arm around your waist and the other rubbing between your shoulder blades. “Y/n…”
“I don't want to be alone, Jungkook. I can’t be without you. Can’t be without them.” You sob into his black shirt balled up in your white-knuckled fists. It reminds you of the morning they’d picked you up from your car. Jungkook had held you as tight as he could all the way to the hospital, swearing to you and whoever else was listening that he’d never let you go. You’d found a love from him you never thought you would. This time though, there was nothing Jungkook could say to make you feel better. Instead he let you cry in his arms, feeling helpless and prayed that an answer would come to mind.
Faced with the inevitable truth of having to leave you here by yourself, miss you, and miss out on watching the child in your stomach grow each day, produces his own salted tears. Despite having only heard the news not even a whole five minutes ago, he already misses you more than he can figure out how to say right now. Carefully, he scoops an arm under the bend of your knees and lifts, carrying you to your bedroom like a bride. Jungkook’s heart breaks when he curls up behind you in an attempt to comfort, but your face is covered with your pretty hands and your body shutters with another wave of sobs.
“Shhh...y/n, it's alright…” He coo’s into your hair, his lips leaving soft loving kisses into your temple that magically softens the beat of your heart. You press your back against his chest as firmly as you can, willing your heart to match his in speed and rhythm, doing your best to get your breathing under control once your mind stops trying to drown you. Jungkook takes one of your hands in his and presses it against your chest with his over top, breathing deeply in through his nose and releases out through his mouth for you to follow. “Breathe with me baby, come on.” He instructs softly and you do, your throat finally releasing the air stuck in the pit of your stomach with a gasp, fighting the hiccuped sobs that try to steal your progress. “Good love. It’s alright. I'm here.” The panic crushing your insides washes away. Clenched, aching muscles relax and you go limp against the man holding you close. He’s warm and smells like the peaches the two of you shared for dessert tonight and you can't imagine even for one second being without him.
Jungkook doesn't move a muscle. His achy arm trapped under you begs to be set free and the hand pressed to yours’ tingles from being in the same position for far too long, but he doesn't move. “I promise I won't leave your side tomorrow. We’re going to spend all day together and we can do anything you want, okay?” Its pitch black in your room, only the faintest glow of a street lamp on the corner can be seen through your closed blinds but you nod anyway because you know if you try to speak you might spiral again. And he understands, and doesn't move a muscle until he knows you're asleep.
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~Jungkook POV~
Before he decides he can face the guys again without shedding another tear, Jungkook leans frozen against your doorframe. It's cold and his skin is pulled so tight with goosebumps it's almost painful, but he endures it. For you. He watches you, eyes adjusted to the darkness surrounding him, making sure you're breathing okay before he reminds himself he's supposed to be celebrating tonight. It doesn't take him long. He doesn't try as hard as the others to fancy himself up this time. A simple pair of black jeans topped by an equally as black turtleneck sweater under his favorite leather jacket and a light scrunching of his long hair and he's ready to go. But he doesn't want to. He knows you're fast asleep in your bed just across the hall and he wants so badly to strip himself of these clothes and sleep next to you forever.
Kook stays quiet in the car the entire duration of the ride and orders water once they are seated at the bar, taking the stool on the very end to keep himself from having to force conversation with the others. Although, his behavior doesn't go unnoticed by Jimin who’d heard Y/n’s cries from her room and Jungkook's comforting voice following after.
“How’s Y/n?” Jimin asked and pressed his beer bottle to his lips, trying to suck down the negative energy with the alcohol inside. Water in hand, Jungkook never once takes a sip, forgetting the frigid glass is even there as he watches the condensation crawl agonizingly slow to the bottom of the class and answers. “Devastated.” Jimin see’s the flash of hurt behind Jungkook's eyes and realizes just how in love with you he is. Just how in love with his job he is. Fortunately, none of the rest of them had been faced with the idea of having to choose one or the other but Jimin does his best to empathize with his younger brother.
“You know, if it weren't for the pregnancy, she could come with us. So, what's not to say she and the baby won't come with us next time? Who knows if we’ll even get another opportunity like this.” Jimins right, and just imagining bringing you and hopefully your already born child on the next trip to see how much Kook loves his occupation makes him feel ten times better. Reaching up to rest a hand on Jimin's shoulder, Jungkook gives him a look of gratitude and squeezes before turning to the bartender.
“Give me a beer! And a shot of whiskey for my 6 brothers.”
Part Seven
Master List
Part Nine
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rayraywildkinhelp · 5 months
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fyi if you request an activity kit or something similar for a more obscure or specific species the list may be shorter and the request may take longer! nothing against obscure types, its just harder to fulfill those reqs. hope you understand!
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nautiscarader · 1 year
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Prompts are open - the nipples are back and nature is healing edition
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*static*...and now we return to tumblr, the Land of Thousand Stolen Shoelaces. It has been four years since the barbaric banishment of bosoms, the egregious exile of erotica, the rampant rack removal, the devious dick dethronement, the sacrilegious sacking of sacks, the-*click*.
You get the point, we've all been there.
And almost to the date... another social media platform is in crisis. But while tumblr decided to only shoot itself in the foot, twitter just... doused itself with gasoline and set on fire. And so, people have flocked to tumblr again, bringing the neglected nipples with them, which are now welcomed back, at least to some extent here.
So, it makes perfect sense to open prompts on that occasion! Also it's christmas or something.
As usual, I have reblogged some prompts with opening sentences - send me one of those, plus a ship (list, post), and I might cook something up. I will aim for shorter prompts, since I am still exhausted after Smutember, but you never know. Also, if you come up with some original starter, that should give you better chances of me picking it :)
Just FYI, due to my illness and general stuff happening around, I will be aiming for shorter ficlets, so don't put too much hope into wordcount. Then again, they say length doesn't matter.
Okay, open the floodgates
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stolenslumber · 9 months
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masterlist
fyi: everything is listed below in alphabetical order by member abbreviation, then chronologically by publish date (oldest to newest).
in general, long-form fics are usually tagged ss.fic; shorter work is usually tagged ss.warmup. fic previews are tagged ss.preview, and recs are tagged ss.recs!
pjs
devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (pjs)
PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader SUMMARY: Jay needs someone to pretend to be his girlfriend, and you’re just the person for the job— seriously, you’re almost a professional at this point, regularly charming the families of your idiot twin’s friends who need your help getting their parents off their back. Of course, leave it up to Jay to blur the lines of your fake relationship so smoothly that you catch real feelings; falling in love has never been this easy. GENRE: acquaintances to partners in crime to fake dating to lovers i guess? lol, college au, vaguely greek life au, vaguely rich kid au, fluff fluff fluff, jake is the mc’s twin bc i thought it would be funny WARNINGS: swearing, kissing and suggestive content/sexual themes WORD COUNT: 14.4k
hang your head low in the glow (pjs) (follow-up to devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes but can be read separately if you want!)
PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader EXCERPT: In this moment, you’re glad that you’re anchored in his lap, because otherwise you think you might float away into the night sky, on your way to join the stars in the cosmos. Jay is so crushingly sweet; sometimes, you just don’t know what to do with the weight of all his sincerity. For now, you settle for a fervent, “I like you so much.” GENRE: established relationship, fwp (fluff without plot), no like seriously this is just straight up fluff and romance and making out with scant narrative WARNINGS: swearing, kms/kys jokes, kissing and suggestive content/sexual themes WORD COUNT: 10k (derogatory)
sjy
[8:30pm] (sjy)
PAIRING: sim jaeyun x gender neutral reader GENRE: established relationship, pure and simple fluff WARNINGS: kissing, suggestive content WORD COUNT: ~800
i wanna lock in your love (sjy)
PAIRING: sim jaeyun x gender neutral reader GENRE: best friends to lovers, newly established relationship, fluff WARNINGS: kissing, suggestive content WORD COUNT: 1.1k
thought the stars walk backward (sjy) part 1 & part 2
PAIRING: sim jaeyun x female reader SUMMARY: Your first encounter with Jake Sim ends with ketchup on your clothes and his burger in his friend’s lap. The second encounter doesn’t go so smoothly, either. He thinks he might have gotten the hang of it by the third time, but as the saying goes: there is no easy way from the earth to the stars. GENRE: college au, one-sided enemies-to-lovers (the e2l part is short-lived lol sry), friends-to-lovers, he fell first but then they both fell harder? lmao, soooooo much mutual pining, fluff, romance, jake as a star soccer player but also loser physics nerd, mc is an assistant manager on the soccer team because of Convoluted Reasons WARNINGS: swearing, familial angst/generational trauma, eventual kissing and highly suggestive content/sexual themes— exercise your own discretion WORD COUNT: ~11.8k (part 1)
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thebridalstylist · 1 year
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Silhouettes and what they can do for you
Welcome to Silhouettes 101! I thought I'd list them out and tell you the pros and cons to each, so you can feel like you have a better grasp on them before you go dress hunting.
Please note: Everything I write in the "cons" section is an FYI and can be thoroughly ignored. If you are going to the courthouse and you want a ballgown with a cathedral train, go for it.
Ballgowns
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The ballgown is, on a scale from tight to full, 110% floof. It's a classic wedding gown silhouette, but that doesn't mean it has to be conservative or unexciting in any way.
Best for: Brides who want the princess or fairytale look, or who need a better contrast between their waist and hips in order to create the illusion of a smaller waist.
Cons: They can be heavy, and going to the bathroom once you're in it is a royal (ha!) pain in the ass if you don't have multiple people helping or a product like the Bridal Buddy.* They can also sometimes make people look a bit shorter, but if that's where your heart is and you're a short queen, you can mitigate that by wearing some serious heels or just not give a crap about it. Also, can come off as more formal than some other silhouettes.
A-Lines
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This silhouette is named an A-line because it's shaped like.... Guess what? Yep. An A. On the scale of tight to full, it's just under the ballgown in floofiness, but is not as tight as a fit and flare or a sheath.
Best for: Everybody! The A-line is a universally flattering silhouette. Unless it's heavily beaded, it's probably going to weigh less than a ballgown. If you want flowy, this is probably your best bet. A-lines are also often really good at getting that romantic feel. If you don't care about a train, you can really open up your options by checking out gowns in your chosen color that are special occasion, evening gowns, or even prom dresses, and save quite a bit of money.
Cons: Still a lot of material for some, but there aren't really a lot of downsides to this one.
Fit And Flares
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I use "fit and flare" as a catch-all for any dress that, well, fits and at some point flares out, like mermaids or trumpets. These terms can sometimes be used interchangeably.
Best for: Two words - drama and curves. If you don't have an hourglass figure and you want one, this is where to look. If you're the kind of bride who wants to go full glam, these gowns are your best friend.
Cons: If you are apple shaped, a fit and flare might actually call more attention to it, but there are still tricks to mitigating that like adding belts or finding one with ruching. While you're trying one on and/or getting your fitting done with alterations with one of these ladies, make absolutely sure you can walk, dance, and sit comfortably... And yeah, that means busting a move at the bridal salon, even if it's just in your changing room. Hell, we'll probably suggest it! You don't want a dress that'll be so tight on your legs that you're tippy-toeing down the aisle, unless you want that, in which case you do you!
Sheaths
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These babies go straight up and down, and are sleek and sexy. They're going to be the tightest silhouette overall.
Best for: If you're more of a casual bride, you'll have way better luck finding a sheath that works for you, as opposed to, say, ballgowns. Also great if you're a budget bride; this is the other silhouette you can look through special occasion or prom gown collections for and find some way cheaper that nobody would ever guess wasn't a $5k wedding gown. And if you want some floof for the ceremony but not the reception, you can just get a really stunning overskirt like this, this, or this, and just remove it for the reception, no need for a train. So, lots of customization options!
Cons: They are not terribly forgiving to the figure. Spanx can take care of that. Also may not be best for those who are apple-shaped without tricks like ruching, belts, etc. applied. For people with body dysmorphia, these might be a bit tough. Also, these are usually the most casual of the silhouettes.
Like always, I'll say that the only thing that matters is that you feel beautiful and comfortable in your dress, so don't take something written under "cons" as law. Be true to yourself and what you want, no matter what that style is!
*I get no money whatsoever from any link I might post.... dammit. Also, those are to be seen solely as examples.
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belladonna-miranda · 2 years
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Image Source
List of Jackasses from shortest to tallest (and where I stand among them)
FYI: I put the OG Jackasses in regular font and the new members in bold just to distinguish who belongs to which group.
Wee Man: 4'0.5" (123 cm)
Zach Holmes: 5'5" (165 cm)
Jasper Dolphin: 5'7" (170 cm)
Rachel Wolfson: 5'8" (173 cm)
Chris Pontius: 5'8" (173 cm)
Preston Lacy: 5'9" (175 cm)
Poopies: 5'9.25" (176 cm)
Dave England: 5'10" (178 cm)
Steve-O: 5'10" (178 cm)
Danger Ehren: 6'0" (183 cm)
Johnny Knoxville: 6'1" (185 cm)
Eric Manaka: 6'3" (191 cm)
I'm 5'3" (160 cm), effectively making me shorter than the entire cast bar Wee Man and only two inches shorter than Zach.
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