#this isn’t like triggering or anything

[zeb-z]

Pac finding the reports around the disappearance of worker WB011 and the signed yet not sealed report saying Bad is innocent, slooooowly replacing it with guilty. Changing it back, but not leaving the page, not leaving the book. Deliberating with a huge, huge amount of power he now holds in his hands against the man who’s been nothing but off putting at best, dangerous and an attempted kidnapper at worst. Who has been entirely suspicious and hostile.

He swaps innocent out for suspect, and leaves everything where he found it. Of course he did, not only does he find actual reasons Bad is super suspicious, but it’s the decision that gave him some options, some sort of agency in this whole back and forth they’ve got going on.

For once, Pac has control, he has the final choice. He could fuck over Bad’s entire plan with those few changes. The power is finally in his hands.

#smth about pac finding power in something that isn’t just. like. entirely self destructive hfjskfls #how he’s just kinda. never the one in charge in situations? always swept up in the power or confidence others have? #he had the power. that book in his eyes is a loaded gun and he could finally be the one pulling the trigger #changing events instead of being the one changed #and yeah he does gen think bads been sus as fuck but it’s like. that’s not all that’s going on rn #he’s got power and he will deliberate for forever but he’ll end up using it #edit: it doesn’t entirely matter if this changes the Feds investigation or not because to Pac it just might yknow #it’s more personal than anything #mcyt #qsmp #q!pactw #pactw #bbh #q!bbh #z speaks

[magical-misfit]

Thinking about that one post that was like “Gerard wants to stay in the castle when war comes because he spent his formative years struggling to stay alive and survive and now he’s expected to do it again”

Like…yes you get it.

Gerard was ten.

And at ten years old he knew death better than others. He watched his first friend get eaten alive as part of the food chain at work, he nearly died at the teeth of a dog because he didn’t understand why it was weird for a talking frog to address a guard like a prince. A ten year old experienced near death for the first time and people still have the audacity to call him a coward.

He stayed in that pond for god knows how long (he states he’s thirty but we don’t know how long he and Elody have been married) and he waited for ages for someone to come find him, anyone really. That heron probably came by every day, same with the hunters and their dogs. How much death and injury did you think Gerard saw over those years in the pond? How much bravery and cleverness do you think he had to muster up in himself so as not to get eaten? No wonder he latched onto Elody and the castle life so quickly.

And when war comes at a time when he’s supposed to be free, a time when the curse has been broken and everything is fine, of course he flees. Of course he claims they can stay in their castle and be okay.

Because Gerard knows death. And he knows that if he leaves the castle again, he’s not sure he’ll make it back this time.

And he’s right. He doesn’t.

(At least that version of him anyway)

#neverafter #gerard of greenleigh #once again murph PCs have me going feral #neverafter spoilers #like gerard didn’t do anything wrong he was a kid! #and yes kids suck but you don’t turn them into prey because they annoy you #Gerard’s cowardice and materialism isn’t even that much of a flaw imo #it’s a coping mechanism for when he starts to come into contact with triggers for his PTSD #how long do you think he told himself ‘this is temporary’ while out in that pond? #like yes gerard is a flawed character but when you learn what happened to him can you really blame him? #ugh brian murphy you’ve done it again #idk it’s just like…yes rich people need to be humbled but gerard has been humbled his whole life #he learned his lesson and once he got complacent learned it again #and while I love Elody I do think it’s interesting to think about why she fell out of love with him #was it the complacency? #the materialism? #the supposed cowardice? #we saw why she fell IN love with him but why did she fall OUT of love with him? #I need answers

[detentiontrack]

I love my mom so much

#she accepted me being trans like it was nothing #and while I was gone she made my bed bc she knows it’s triggering when my bed isn’t made #and now she’s making my favorite meal because I’m nauseous and she wants me to eat #we used to have a really bad relationship #I couldn’t tell her anything about my life when I was 15 #now she’s my best friend #there’s always hope

[emry-stars-art]

Oooo what is sought out about? 👀

It’s in response to another royal au ask! let’s have a look see 👀💕 Hope it’s still of interest and worth your ask!

20 sep 2023 [wip Wednesday game]

It was completely unnecessary. Stupid even. Which only served to make Andrew angrier. He saw the stressor, felt the upcoming panic, and still he couldn’t stop it. He hated what a few restless nights could reduce him to. Aaron wasn’t in danger, he’d just been tripped into. Andrew wasn’t in danger, he was just surrounded by strangers. Kind strangers, but strangers.

He didn’t feel safe, and his lungs decided to stop breathing about it.

Aaron was calling after him but Andrew was leaving. He shouldn’t be, it was less safe the further he went from his brother, but Aaron was not who the panic wanted to see. Abram was somewhere in this crowd. Andrew needed to find him before the attack got out of control.

#i couldnt think of anything specific to be triggering Andrew #hence why it’s taken me so long for the ask #like there lots of OPTIONS #but. yk #panic attacks/etc are fickle things sometimes #in Andrew’s swicr words #sometimes it just decides to rear its ugly head. #so sorry it’s not super angsty and dramatic but it’s a panic attack and he’s going to find Abram #I’ve checked all the boxes 😅 #im sure this isn’t the only time this will be explored anyway #not art sorry guys #neil josten #andrew minyard #royal au #emry wip wednesday

[notnights]

Ughh been thinking too hard about my Digital Circus = asylum allegories cause I had a nightmare of nightmares I was admitted again & incarcerated this time for weeks rather than days but was being haunted for real & didn’t know until others saw it too but still felt insane for despite others finally believing me.

#the comparisons I make are actually comedic because I guess #I’m the kind of picture to joke about my trauma #so talking or thinking about it isn’t like triggering or anything #but can’t control the unconscious thought process ugh #I have nightmares every night and wake up scared but calm down quickly but I’m still shaking over this one like a fool

[anonymous-tals]

TW for discussion of eating disorders/disordered eating

I watched the Smartless: On The Road documentary thing, whatever you’d call it, and I just have to say that I really appreciate how Will Arnett talked about food and disordered eating in it. As someone who’s struggled with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia in the past, it means a lot and I really respect his view points. What eventually helped me to actually recover was the exact kind of stuff he talked about throughout the show, which can apply to everyone regardless of whether they have an eating disorder or just disordered eating or are just someone who lives in this world under the standards imposed on us. Like, he talks about how it’s not worth it spending your whole life obsessing about food when living in the moment and just enjoying life is what’s important. You can miss out on so much when eating healthily becomes your obsession. I’ve missed out on so much because eating healthily became my obsession. Like, all that matters is that you’re happy, ya know? You’re not gonna be on your death bed being like, “My happiest memory is when I didn’t eat that cookie.” Like, no, if you want the cookie, eat the cookie! Enjoy it! Enjoy LIFE! Literally though, a lot of what he said is pretty much verbatim what I was told in therapy and is now what I spew at others or myself when disordered-eating-type thinking is running amuck.

He also talks about the affect obsessive healthiness(or even just normalized but unhealthy “healthy” habits/rules) and disordered eating can have on one’s kids and how he doesn’t want to ingrain the idea in them, regardless of whether it’s intentional or not, that diets or anything of that sort is something they should be thinking about. Kids are very impressionable and I can speak as a former child that at a young age, even though I was never directly told anything, diet culture rhetoric had been ingrained in me and it led to the issues I have today. I can point to so many moments in my youth that directly showed up in my eating disorder. And I’ve talked to kids who are, like, elementary school age and they already say things about feeling insecure or burning calories. It’s ridiculous. So I really respect that he’s not only worked to improve his own mindset but to be a positive example for his kids because that can be hard when you’re brought up in a world that values these unhealthy things that have been so normalized and ingrained in all of us. It can be hard to work past that but the fact that he is just makes me respect him all the more.

This kind of stuff isn’t talked about enough and it really should be because, like, the world hits you with these expectations early on. It makes me so sad that kids are already thinking this way at such a young age. And, like, I was one of those kids who were thinking about that stuff at a young age! While, thankfully, I’ve gotten past the vast majority my eating disorder issues, I still have lingering habits, a lot of stuff that’s seen as “normal” but still derives from an unhealthy mindset. I always worry how that’s gonna affect those around me and the stuff Will Arnett said has really motivated me to work through those things because I want to set a good example.

Anyway, that’s all. This isn’t, like, what this show is about, obviously, but it meant a lot to hear and I felt it was worth mentioning.

#will arnett #smartless #i see a lot of people who are harsh on jason bateman about how he talks and while yah it obviously isn’t healthy #i also get it as a former disordered eater(to clarify #idk what he’s dealing with and i’m not gonna claim anything cause like obviously #like #idk him #but i get the adjacent kind of mindset) #anyway #as a former disordered eater who had REALLY obvious disordered habits that anyone who spent five seconds around me could spot #i can sympathize #also i recommend this show #it might be triggering if you have dealt with an ed #because of the way food is talked about at times #but i can recommend it if you like watching jason will and sean goofin around #smartless: on the road #tw ed #tw eating disorder #tw disordered eating

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Writing my trans Morty fic and I don’t want to have his birth name be Morti because I feel like we don’t get a lot of representation for trans people who completely changed their names but I also don’t want to come up with a random name so maybe I should just replace every instance of Morty’s birth name with [redacted]

#rick and morty #rnm #morty smith #trans morty smith #trans morty #the reason can be that rick created some sort of way of erasing morty’s birth name from existence just for him #i also think it would be more impactful if morty had a completely different birth name and then chose morty #since i’m writing this dimension’s rick to be overprotective and shielding morty from a lot of stuff #like at the point i’m writing rick is just barely starting to take morty out on (very safe) ‘adventures’ #and i kind of want to have it so that this morty isn’t really aware of the whole rick and morty dynamic thing before choosing his name #since he wants to go on more adventures but this rick is hesitant #so i think it could be kind of a nice moment if morty chose the name morty completely of his own accord #without knowing anything about the citadel or anything like that #and that could be sort of a trigger event for rick bringing morty along on adventures #idk maybe that’s just me #i’m currently just using morti for the sake of writing stuff but i’m really not a fan #i think i’m funny making my little [redacted] joke but that would be so clunky in a fic #the other possibility i was playing around with was having morty’s name always be spelt as ‘morty’ since it’s shortened anyway #but i’m still not sure how i feel about that #it would be much easier to write in first person but i’m not really a fan and i don’t know if i could pull it off #i only tend to use first person in very brief moments of like characters’ thoughts or whatever #also this should go without saying but i know i have a tendency to not be clear so just want to explicitly say #there’s nothing wrong with masculinising/feminising your birth name as a trans person #or keeping your original name #but i feel like it’s very common in media made by cis people to have trans people masculinise/feminise their birth names #like disproportionate to the rate of trans people who actually do that #also when i was at school there was apparently a rumour that i was a trans guy (which was obviously true lol) #and i panicked when my friend told me thinking it was legit #until they revealed that people were saying i was going by a masculinised version of my birth name #so i knew it was fake but i think that’s part of the reason i’m not personally a fan of that in fiction

[im-still-watching-anime]

i’m Very Lesbian™️ but also have a really bad aversion to things with major focuses on food or eating so my brain’s been in a constant war forever over whether or not the dungeon meshi lesbians will be worth the food/eating focus of it🙃

#this is probably such a me specific problem but it’s so annoying #anytime i consider watching it i just flashback to trying to get through every deidara scene on mute because the mouths were Too Much #i just cannot with food or consumption or EATING #it just makes my skin crawl for some reason🙃 #even just the casual or more mild scenes #it isn’t like a dealbreaker to have a meal scene or anything but a whole series dedicated to it feels like it’d be too much for me😓 #but im tempted to attempt it anyway because the LESBIANS #😭😭 #im struggling #cw food mention #cw eating issues #cw eating problems #<- not really but i can see how this can be triggering so safety tags!

[myname-isnia]

I always forget just how many love songs I have in my playlist until I’m having an ultra-love-repulsed day and have to try my best to contain my breakdown until I get home

#21 out of 61 songs are related to love in some way #and it always feels like my playlist is trying to give me as many in a row as it can #must’ve gotten like 5 one after the other while walking home today #it’s too much of a hassle to keep taking my phone out of my backpack to switch songs so I just grit my teeth and bear it #and I know my playlist literally can’t read my mood. it’s not sentient. it’s a program #but when I’m so strung out it really does feel like it’s doing it on purpose #and hearing those songs makes everything so much worse #days like these I cannot stand any mention of love or romance or sex or anything else of the sort #I can’t read or think about it without feeling awful #can’t draw can’t write can’t watch shows. nothing #worst thing is I never know when I’ll be having a day like this so I can’t prepare by isolating myself or anything #like preparing a separate playlist with no love songs #bc the only way to find out is to get triggered #which… isn’t something I particularly like doing. at all #and I can’t even indulge in my latest interests because guess fucking what it centres around #ughhhhhhhhh. why couldn’t I have just stayed bi and not have to deal with any of this

[danielnelsen]

always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds

#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN #personal #im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so #im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so. #the energy’s doing Great #and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing #genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed???????? #i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then #im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms #usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way #but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with #so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare? #still more sick than i’ve been in……..years? #im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week #this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer #hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!! #and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like— #starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis #im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune #i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months #idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

in my defense, i was like 90% sure u already knew what banana fish was and i thought u would call me out on my bs right away. i did have a moment of panic when it turned out that u didn’t so 🥺

Hahaha it’s totally fine. I’ve actually never heard of it before today but I did start watching it because of this because I was curious. I like it so far

#I don’t personally mind dark or serious content matter #it’s never really affected me. I dunno why. i refuse to fuck with the supernatural because Irish but anything real world doesn’t really #bother me all that much. I don’t have many triggers #granted I work in criminal law and my day to day involves a lot of like. face stabbings. #banana fish isn’t triggering for me #but yeah I’d never actually heard of it before today #it’s definitely interesting and I like it so far so solid rec #but it is so not slice of life comfy anime lol #but it deals in a lot of serious subject matter so people who will be triggered by it should definitely not try it it will not be comfy #no harm no foul with me I just want to make sure no one following me takes the rec and gets accidentally triggered #not gonna lie my friend has been telling me to watch an anime for ages that’s called ‘something something -fish’ that I know for a fact is #slice of life anime about an awkward girl who likes jellyfish and a boy son of a politician who crossdresses and I thought it was that #i googled that is princess jellyfish it is very much not banana fish #it’s supposedly very cute and comforting I’ve been meaning to watch it forever #I knew there was a fish somewhere in the title I knew that much

[castielcommunism]

god I forgot how fucking depressing the jack stuff is

#spn lb #widower arc is extremely difficult to watch like dean behaves way too much like my dad it genuinely triggers me lol #this season is so frustrating bc like dean’s behaviour isn’t ooc but it’s also not in service to anything #so it’s just him being unpleasant #and like god after carver era im very much over watching dean be unpleasant

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Every once in awhile I remember this one weirdo in the YouTube comment section that saw my very emotional response under a video about a child mummy and said something like “lmao you fucking looser libtard. The kid died thousands of years ago, you and your stupid feelings, blah blah” and I roasted the guy in the replies, and a bunch of other people shamed him because “what the actual fuck? We are being emotional about a child mummy. What is wrong with you?” To the point where he just deleted his comment and I’m like, why though? What did he have to gain from replying to someone’s emotional response to a documentary about a child mummy and just, mock them? Because they found the act of a family caring for their dead two year old moving? Why???? You are literally just setting yourself up for a verbal beating. It wasn’t even in a political video, it was a DOCUMENTARY about a CHILD MUMMY. I can’t comprehend how that seemed like a good idea? Or why it was an idea at all? It was funny to see him get the verbal shit beaten out of him, but why would you respond like that in the first place??? Did he just go around YouTube trying to find people talking about feelings so he could try and, what, shame them politically??? Literally what was the point? Beyond comprehension.

#emma posts #genuinely bewildered #all i did was talk about how young the child was and how the family cared for them and the care they put into their burial #and how touching that is and that us seeing this was remarkable #and some other emotional poetic kinda shit #and he like. took offense? to a fairly normal comment on a documentary? #everyone roasting the guy was admittedly very funny. but how did he expect anything other than a group roasting? #a CHILD MUMMY documentary evoking feelings was triggering to him??? #why? one of the weirdest times someone has come at me like that #usually it is something you can sort of tie back to politics though #a long dead two year old isn’t that??? #I’m just going to assume he was like 14 or something #a documentary about an ancient toddler is where he does it though???

[starryoak]

I still think the most logical way to write Chihiro, if you (like me) are anally compliant to canon in your works but still think of her as a trans girl, is as the World’s Biggest Egg. Like, she’s just never even known of or considered the concept of being trans at all, Chihiro genuinely during the events of Danganronpa thinks that she’s a boy, she hasn’t even considered the possibility that she isn’t, she just knows she feels miserable not being tough, which she associates with being a boy.

But for real, my evidence for this being the case is that she’s like “I’m being bullied by people for not being masculine enough.... the obvious solution that comes to mind is that I dress up and pretend to be a girl! This is obviously the ideal solution and what any logical person would think of first, and I definitely am a boy.”

It may be because the creators needed to create a convoluted reason so they could rip off the already common trope, but in universe, that is Big Egg Energy right there.

World’s Biggest Egg.

#bringing this up because of the bridget guilty gear reveal #chihiro fujisaki #headcanon #transgender #trans headcanon #and this theory is very reasonable as Danganronpa is set in 2011 Japan #so the idea of being trans isn’t like something that would automatically occur to her #trigger happy havoc #danganronpa #honestly like I don’t hate chihiro as a boy or anything I just dislike that nobody like #actually deals with that #because like #if that’s the case chihiro still would have complicated feelings on his gender that are worth talking about #instead most content that keeps chihiro’s canonical gender as the creators imply it kind of just ignores the entire issue #which I guess is fair because it’s totally ok not to want to get into complicated genderstuff #especially if you’re not equipped for it #but still #its slightly annoying #because there would be an interesting story there #my posts