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#this isn't quite what this intended to mean however
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What if Rafal couldn't save Rhian in time? Like Vulcan successfully stabbed him with the pen before Rafal could prevent it?
The comedic answer is that I have one word for you: gibbeting.
That's the more "fun" answer, a form of medieval execution/torture, which was specifically intended to make an example of someone, publicly, to deter further criminal acts, and if Vulcan murdered Rhian, well, he deserves the worst death possible! And why not make it a creative one? However, I think, to an extent, that gibbeting could be too extreme, and that Rafal would recognize that if Rhian were alive, he'd view it as an eyesore, tasteless, or simply too brutal, so it's probably unlikely to happen. But, Rafal might not be above it, considering that the Doom Room exists, so it could go either way, potentially.
Plus, there's some added, bonus "fun" here, in how a certain canon moment would come full circle. Vulcan put Rafal in a birdcage (while he was a black sparrow), and now, Rafal would get the pleasure of hanging Vulcan (or rather, his slowly dying and later, decomposing body) up in a cage, a pretty neat form of revenge, if I do say so myself, haha! Besides, Vulcan was a bit exhibitionistic, wasn't he? So, this would also make for an ironical fate.
Now for the serious answer. I hope you don't mind it if I get a little more subjective/personal with this one at some point. It's not quite as much an overblown, narrative-style post, and may be more understated than usual.
I took this "what if" ask to essentially mean: how would Rafal react to Rhian's death and how would he mourn Rhian over time? If I misinterpreted your ask, and this wasn't the kind of response you were expecting, please let me know. Also, everything is speculative, of course, so take my interpretations with a grain of salt. I'm open to hearing other opinions!
I think Rafal's immediate, knee-jerk reaction would probably be to murder Vulcan as revenge, but also it would serve the more practical reason of disposing of the tyrant usurper, ousting him from the School permanently. However, I don't think Rafal would find catharsis in it, not this time at least, considering why he is doing it.
He'd have to act on his feet, and quickly, because, Vulcan would still pose a threat to his own life, which would force Rafal to delay any kind of visceral, emotional reaction.
That is why I think the murder would be done instantaneously because speed is more important, and so is getting the task done right. And, having Vulcan dead sooner for everyone's safety is more important than the potential brutality of any kind of gruesome catharsis Rafal could derive from the act. That's why I think Rafal would go about performing this particular murder in a less sadistic fashion, for once, like how Vulcan died in canon by a stab wound, versus the time when Rafal turned Rufius to gold and shattered him, or did worse to others, generally. If Vulcan had simply been a foe who was already incapacitated, that could've given Rafal the opportunity to go for a worse form of murder, but Vulcan isn't harmless.
Thus, employing a "kinder" form of murder in this instance wouldn't be out of sympathy for Vulcan, but more so, to fulfill an urgent need. And, in some sense, the act of murder would be done out of a kind of duty to Rhian, for Rhian's sake and nothing more. I think Rafal deriving pleasure/catharsis out of this murder could possibly be a bit of a slight to Rhian's memory because this is somber business.
Then, after that adrenaline or rage-fueled clarity and the action taken, I think Rafal would next probably feel some kind of uncomprehending fog next because Rhian was suddenly ripped away from him with little warning. His supposedly immortal brother, who was supposed to be with him forever, just died. To an extent, that has to feel surreal.
The surreal feeling could start out as a detached, dissociated feeling, like the kind of out-of-body experience where you're like a third-person observer, (probably a similar feeling as a panic attack?) Like, what? What has my life become? Rhian is suddenly gone, for good.
(The revelation of Rhian's death being real could also prompt a lot of thought as to why their bond wasn't able to save or revive Rhian, and could evoke guilt.)
Once Rafal processes the implications of Rhian's death, his initial outburst could be the most, actual, unbridled emotion he lets out, at all, if ever—maybe, one raw, primal scream of agony into the ether and that’s it. (Yet, I'm also tempted to say, that's too dramatic of a reaction, even for him. As interesting as it is to go to extremes in other cases, I'm attempting to go for something closer to realism here, so bear with me.)
While there is probably a narrow chance, that under the exact, right conditions, he could be driven insane or become an extremist in some way, out of guilt or by how ridiculously unjust the whole situation would be, I think it's a little more plausible that Rafal would just bury himself in his work. He could devote his life to Evil, and still keep it in balance with Good, without Rhian there to keep him in check, even if he was more often the one to keep Rhian in check, from what we saw. (He could also become disillusioned with the world and the Pen.)
Given how I view Rafal, I think he would shut down emotionally but not functionally. He wouldn't let himself dwell on the grief for long, and he might even (irrationally) resent Rhian for dying, at first, on the surface, because he's now got twice the work. And yet, the work would be a welcome distraction from his actual grief.
Additionally, I think Rafal would become numb and immune to all emotional appeals from other people. Not even a trick like Hook reminding him of Rhian would work to convince him to change his mind that he's already made up in any future instance. He's never, never investing himself in the fate of another person again. Not when he could lose them. He just... does his job. Someone has to do it after all.
That said, I think his paranoia level would absolutely skyrocket, too, as a result of the whole Vulcan incident, and that he'd isolate himself more than he already did before.
Now comes the part where this may or may not take a weird turn, and I could be projecting with what I'm about to say, but I think I have actual reason to apply it to Rafal, purely out of thinking it could make sense for him, (as just one of the many possible ways he could take Rhian's death. Again, this is all just my speculation. I could easily be wrong, so keep that in mind.)
Ok, I'm not sure if this is a common or a weird thing to think and I had a feeling it could be controversial. Thus, I'm going to preface it with this: my intention is not to sound callous, but...
I (usually) do not miss people when they are gone. (Death is different from just absence though.)
I doubt that I "miss" people in what is the typical way, from what I have heard from others? Though, I have an explanation. Obviously, it depends, but missing others doesn't occupy my every waking thought. (And thoughts about fictional characters are a different type of thought to arise.)
I feel others' presence when they’re around, and when they’re not around, unless I'm concerned for them, I don’t exactly think about them. It's kind of "out of sight, out of mind," except for the cases in which I actually am holding something to say to them in mind for our next encounter.
I’m sorry if this is strange, but I think that’s how I operate most of the time. I don't "wait around" for people to return because I always have some thing to occupy myself with. Can anyone relate?
I suspect that the reason why is because, to me, missing someone is what I would classify as an active feeling. When someone I love is apart from me, I'm usually busy, regardless of whether they're present or not (that doesn't change), and I know that when you're busy, you don't have the time to feel, at least not active emotions. They just... don't occur to you? Or maybe they are not conscious?
Now, from my view of things, if something you feel becomes a problem, and interferes with your daily functioning or general contentment with everyday life, that could very well surface as a real reaction or outburst. But, that's an entirely different matter. I also think that I am reminded of people at times, but that I usually don't "miss" them without there being some kind of (internal or external) stimuli that causes me to think about them.
Maybe, I'm just projecting onto Rafal too much because I relate to him over other characters, and this is silly, or junk psychoanalysis, but it seemed to fit his character also???
Sometimes, I just want recognition more than I want actual companionship since I don't get lonely. I wonder what that says about me? That I'm an introvert, or lazy because relationships require regular maintenance to sustain them? I promise I'm not a misanthrope!
Ok, back to Rafal. He's sunken himself into his work and as such, he wouldn't actively miss Rhian. (If anyone would like more clarification, I'm not saying he wouldn't grieve Rhian at all. It's not that.)
And, if we're going down a more realistic than dramatic route, he wouldn’t lose his sense of self, or his mind over Rhian. Yes, not even Rhian. I think the only thing keeping him running and tethered to his life would be his commitment to the School/keeping himself alive.
What this makes me think of is how people romanticize grief or unrequited love, how they may end up looking wan and eventually wasting away (well, if we're talking about being heartsick in literary/symbolic contexts...). And, I just don't think Rafal would be the type of person to fall into some kind of "madness" or melancholic malady. Grief just wouldn’t be so debilitating or all-consuming to him because he wouldn’t let it do that to him. He wouldn’t stop eating or sleeping as I would expect these behaviors more from someone like Rhian, not him.
Similarly, he might not indulge in pleasurable things, but he’s a bit of an ascetic already anyway, so that’s that. He could potentially renounce pleasurable things in life out of mourning, in a traditional way, but I doubt that would happen either, to be honest. It probably wouldn't cross his mind. At least, it wouldn't happen on a formal, conscious level, even if he could very well deprive himself without realizing it.
I just don't think Rafal would be engulfed by grief, simply because he isn’t that much of an emotionally driven person or that vulnerable to being swept up by personal tragedy, when compared to Rhian, who's more "wild." He’d only let his grief manifest so far, assuming his emotions do still remained locked down and under his control.
So, while he may think about Rhian regularly, he might just accept the fact of Rhian's death, carry on, and not miss him because Rafal��missing Rhian could (implicitly) mean becoming non-functional due to grief (or guilt) and that would be too great of a risk for Rafal to take, considering his current reality alone. Basically, to let himself wallow in those emotions would be an unnecessary "risk," from his viewpoint. That's why he might repress that reflective type of thought.
Such feelings would be too much mess or potential disorder for someone like him, especially if he realized he couldn't keep them contained, and they, as a consequence, actually jeopardized his fate or the School's, assuming the grief made him unable to perform his job properly.
(He'd probably subtly resent the Storian as well, for not preserving Rhian's life.)
Also, one small point: in canon, was his bond with Rhian really, truly all-consuming? Let's stop and ask ourselves that for a moment.
Yes, for a time, their bond may have seemed like it was priority no. 1, but Rafal was apart from Rhian for six months, and might not have consciously missed him, if it took him that long to return after getting an external reminder from his interactions with Hook. It might have taken something outside of himself (like the prophecy) for him to come to the realization that he had to return and reestablish his loyalty to Rhian (which was arguably never gone, just dormant for a while). And this would mean that if left alone to his own devices, had he never been moved by James, or "awakened" and been made aware by Adela Sader, he could have taken longer than even six months to return... if he ever decided to at all, if the thought ever arose in the first place.
So, overall, it would only be rarely, when he has nothing to occupy himself with, that Rafal would grieve in some quiet way, and over time, the grief would fade. It wouldn't leave him entirely, but it would diminish, I think, the more and more he distances himself from everything else.
Also, in canon, I suspect that he lies to himself about how much he cares for Rhian. He never shows Rhian much affection, but he sacrifices his life for him, on instinct, which probably means a grieving Rafal would also lie to himself about how “little” he mourns Rhian. In reality, he’d probably mourn Rhian a great deal more than he could know, but wouldn’t have enough self-awareness to realize it.
Perhaps, at night, he would be haunted by Rhian's memory, and take on Rhian's insomniac trait on occasion. Also, to credit @cursed-daydreamer, I think it would be plausible for Rafal to take on a few of Rhian's traits, unconsciously, to compensate for the loss, and fill his void; it could be a way of keeping Rhian's presence in his life.
Lastly, I doubt that Rafal would publicly erect monuments or dedicate anything to Rhian. He wouldn’t want a painful, visual reminder around. His rituals, if we were to call them that, any form of remembrance, I mean, would likely be private, away from prying eyes and students. Rafal wouldn't want to come across as weak or sentimental. That’s the last thing he needs at the moment, a ruined reputation, another so-called threat to his own life/power. Because, increased paranoia could lead him to believe that if he were to show any sign of vulnerability, more "Vulcans" could prey on him and the School.
He could maintain the cherry blossom trees though, but it'd always be a sobering occasion, and he'd never take the credit.
Besides that, he probably wouldn’t go eulogizing his brother or canonizing him. He can still recognize Rhian's flaws, and to praise Rhian so completely would be "too much," too public, and the performative (or contrived) nature of certain mourning customs like those would probably strike him as "wrong" because they just seem... insincere. I don't think Nevers (if we're assuming Rafal remains Evil) put as much much stock in praise anyway, according to their value system.
The exception to the rule would probably be if he recognized that it would be Rhian's wish, to receive some recognition or a dedication. Then, he would do it, out of reverence, I think. He'd have reason to "excuse" it (Rhian's dying wishes), unlike visible emotions, which don't have an excuse to be felt.
Also, I was wondering: does anyone agree or disagree? I'm really curious because this ask provoked a train of thought I'd never considered before!
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loganlermanstanaccount · 11 months
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Show me where it hurts (part 1)
Miguel O'Hara x spiderwoman!reader
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(AO3 Mirror), Part 2, Main Masterlist
summary: Miguel's acting weird, and you make it your mission to find out exactly what's going on.
warnings: no warnings for this chap, pg-13, swearing and canon level violence. smut next chapter xoxo
a/n: this is a combination of 2 asks and this post I saw on here a while ago: flirty/ snarky fem reader, Miguel during a ""rut"" (I don't know if it counts as a rut really, but its to do with his animal instincts/DNA) and Lyla playing matchmaker.  I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D
(i wrote this pre seeing spiderverse 2, so i think characterisation is a little off, esp for Lyla, apologies! I'll fix it in my upcoming fics)
edit: I use the term "bichita" which I have been informed can be read not as I intended in Spanish. I'm not a native speaker so I want to apologise in advance. I'm doing more research for my future fics and leaving this up as a testament to my stupidity. Spanish speakers, feel free to correct me / clown my ass in the comments. My bad guys :(
wc: 3.6k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You think Miguel is avoiding you. 
One of your closest friends, giving you the runaround for months, it seems. Calling the two of you close friends is a little extreme, sure. You've only known O'Hara for two years, and been in love with him for slightly less than that, thank you very much. And yes, he refuses to call you by anything but your last name. And the last time you saw him he wouldn't so much as look at you, but that was besides the point. 
"..the point," You tell Lyla, in between exasperated bites of cereal, "... is that aren't elite forces of spiderpeople supposed to, you know, have some spiderpeople kick ass once in a while? And where exactly is our fearless leader? I haven't seen O'Hara's scary ass in weeks, and I'm starting to miss it."
She gives you a look, one that says this isn't what I'm programmed for , but you pointedly ignore it. 
"His ass, by the way." You clarify. "I very specifically miss his ass. Remind me to get his routine. I know girls that would kill for…"
"How the fuck did you get in here?" A voice croaks. You turn behind you and see Miguel, not in his suit, but wrapped up in a blanket like he's just woken up. And he looks rough, like a train ran him over on the way here: puffy eyes, splotchy skin, tension kneaded into his brow. 
"Wow." Your spoon drops into the milk. "You look like shit.." 
He furrows his brow even deeper, if that was possible. " Mierda. You shouldn't be here." 
"This isn't quite the welcome party I was expecting, man. I'm the only one to actually turn up to one of your meetings, and this is what I get?" 
"I thought I told Lyla to cancel," He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. 
"Cancel? Since when do you miss a chance to talk about rules and protocol?" 
"I don't have time for this-" 
"-and I'm not leaving without a proper explanation. Is everything okay?" 
"It's actually way worse now you're here." He deadpans. 
"Haha ." You turn to Lyla. "You drop everything to travel halfway across the multiverse and this asshole won't even say thanks." 
"Thanks, but this asshole needs you to leave. Now." 
This is the most he's spoken to you in forever, and you hate that you like it. You just want his attention, however it comes. If that means dragging this out so maybe he acknowledges you, touches you, looks at you - then so be it. Squinting, you get closer to him. You scan his face for anything to latch onto. You put a hand on his shoulder, still searching. 
"You sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if-" 
"Si, si." He grits his teeth, looking away. "M'just fine. I'll explain…. later."
"...because I'm your right hand man?" You grin, poking at his brow. "Stop frowning so much Miguel, you're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."
He flushes, nervous, and swats you away. "-what? N-No. You're not my right hand man and I like my face just the way it is. Now, leave. "
Making your way to the door, you tap your nose teasingly. "You know where to find me!" 
When the door closes with a click, you make your way down the corridor, and stop in your tracks when you hear it. It's muffled, but with the strain of your supersenses you can make out Miguel's voice just beyond the wall. 
"I just…. don't want her to see me like this… Lyla, it's not happening… I can't tell her…." Tell her what, exactly? 
Resolutely, you make up your mind. Miguel O'Hara's got a secret. And before you leave for home, you're gonna do everything in your God given power to wear him down and find out. 
~~~
Despite his insistence otherwise, you liked to think of yourself as O'Hara's right hand man - and most of the other spiderpeople thought so too. You were one of the very first he recruited, after crash landing onto your earth like a spiderman-shaped meteor; the two of you were inseparable. Miguel was stubborn and headstrong and thought he was right all the time. Infuriatingly, he was, but that didn't stop you from telling him to get his head out of his own ass when his ego grew too big. 
He was different around you, you think. Softer, sometimes. Harsher, other times. He told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to or not; the result of mutual respect and agonising persistence. Slowly, you had chipped away his hard exterior; the one he built because he thought he needed to push people away. In that regard, you were similar, but this need manifested in you like a weed - an awful, awful compulsion to joke and laugh at your own expense, to keep others at an arm's length. You had spent your whole life picking and pruning away at yourself, looking for perfection. Even after all this, multiverse-hopping and fighting alongside people who were the closest things you had to friends , it wasn't enough. There was still something missing. 
Ironically, Miguel had told you something similar the one of the last times you had spoken. You had fucked up a mission, well and truly. In the aftermath, all you can remember is coming back to base, limping on Jessica's arm. 
"She's hurt!" She cries out. Lyla materialises and leads you both to the med bay, inspecting any visible wounds. There's a deep laceration, sticky with blood, at the base of your stomach. You shift onto the bed and hiss with pain. 
Miguel is quick to follow, face twisted with confusion, pain, sadness. Even in your haze, you feel the tension radiating off of him as he drags over a cart of supplies. 
"What happened?" He strains. 
"I don't even… it happened so fast. We got ambushed, and all of a sudden I'm on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight and… " She sobs. "...she jumped in front of me. God, she saved my life-" 
"-wasn't your fault, Jess." You croak, trying to sit up. "And I'm fine. Just need to walk it off…"
"Sit, bichita," His nickname makes you frown, despite yourself, and you settle back down. "Lyla, what's the damage?"
Your vision goes spotty, and Lyla's voice barely registers. All you can feel is searing pain in your side, but Miguel is warm, oh so warm. You clutch his arms, and force him to look you in the eye. 
"M'ready, Miguel." He nods weakly, but you don't think he understands. "I mean it . I can lead, j-just need another chance and I won't let you down… Jess, tell him that I can-" 
"It's okay. I believe you. You just need to relax for me, hmm?" He clutches at your hand, tight, and it's like you're the only two people in the world. "You did good. I promise."
Faintly, you nod. You feel a pinch at your arm, and Jessica's there, with an empty vial of something in her hands. The pain washes over you, and you fight to keep your eyes open. In those last few moments of light, you swear you feel a shaky kiss pressed to your temple. 
"Sleep, mi bichito amoroso. Sleep."
When you come to, you're still in the medbay, moonlight streaming through. Well, artificial moonlight. Time worked a little differently here, something Miguel explained to you a while ago - God knows what about dilation and quantum interference. It makes you smile now, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain to no avail. You were the only spiderman this side of the multiverse without a degree in quantum tech, you had said with a lopsided smile. 
You move to sit, and pain shoots up your side. Groaning, you push through it, determined to get out of this bed and find the others. As if on cue, Miguel walks in, almost leaping towards you. 
"You should… mierda ! You should be resting in bed."
You pout as you stumble into his chest. He hooks an arm around you and leads you back. You clamber in, sighing. "M'fine, O'Hara."
"Your guts were halfway out of your body less than 24 hours ago. So stay put, or you might give me another heart attack."
You scoff, incredulous. "You were worried?" 
He shrugs. " 'Course I was."
"Why? You know I'm practically indestructible." You give him a shit eating grin, and poke the frown appearing at his brow. He doesn't bat you away like he usually does. 
"Famous last words, bichita." He sighs. You can't speak a lick of Spanish, but you know he only calls you that word when you've frustrated him to his limit. So you take it as a win, for now. 
He drops into the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?" 
"Just peachy, dollface." You wink, and he doesn't so much as groan. 
"I'm being serious. You went through something pretty traumatic…"
"You want me to tell you it hurts, so, so bad, daddy? " You pout and flutter your eyelashes mockingly. Miguel shifts in his seat, unable to make eye contact. 
"That's not what I meant."
"What did you mean, O'Hara? I feel fine. And in a couple of days, I'll feel even better, and I'll be up and about. I can finish what we started and-" 
"-no, absolutely not." He frowns. "A couple of days? I'm sending you home-" 
"You can't do that! On whose fucking authority?"
"On the authority of you almost fucking died ! Keeping you safe is our priority right now-" 
"God, is this my punishment? This is a low blow, O'Hara. You know how hard I've worked for this: months of surveillance and intel a-and I did everything by the book, just like you told me to." You croak. "I fucked up . I know that, and I feel terrible. Give me a chance to make things right; that's all I'm asking. I can do it, I know it. "
He looks at you for a moment, something heavy in his expression. His face contorted, he strips you down to the bone with just his gaze. His voice is so quiet, you almost miss it. 
"....you're still trying to prove yourself, aren't you?"
Honestly, it catches you off guard. You don't even know what the fuck that means, let alone why he said it.
"I don't… I d-don't…?" 
"They all love you. Respect you. More than me I think, sometimes." He chuckles at that. "You're good at what you do. The best . What else are you trying to prove? What else do you need ?" 
Your throat goes dry. You couldn't speak if you wanted to. 
"I'm not punishing you. You made a mistake, but you don't need to be crucified for it. I just want to keep you safe. I can't… we can't lose you."
"Miguel-"
"-this isn't a discussion. And I'm not trying to argue, although I know how much you like to argue." He inches closer, cupping your face gently. You try to move away, blinking back tears. But his hands are steady and he strokes your jaw with so much tenderness you think you hear your heart break. He's pretty, so pretty. You don't deserve him, you think. "There'll be time to fight, bichita. Rest. That's your mission right now."
"C-can't sleep." You breathe. "It hurts." 
Miguel pauses, head tilted like he's thinking. He taps your shoulder. "Scoot over."
You do as he says, and he slips into the bed with you. It's a tight fit, but he manages, placing you on his chest with an arm gently around your shoulders. You bury your face in his hoodie, sniffling and hoping he doesn't notice you choking back sobs. Absentmindedly, he settles into a rhythm, gentle breathing and playing with your hair, soothing you softly. He pretends he can't hear the tears. 
"M'gonna stay here until you're asleep. For as long as you need."
You nod, unable to speak for fear of breaking down. 
~~~
The days after felt like a blur. You woke up to Miguel gone, and an ache in your heart. Jess visits as much as she can, and Ben calls you a couple times, to see if you're okay. Peter B brings Mayday, and she clambers all over your bed, bringing some life into the room. Miguel doesn't visit per se - you hear whispers of him, Lyla visiting in his stead for comprehensive status updates. Once, you wake up in the night to see him on the adjacent chair, head lolling in deep sleep. He looks peaceful, calm - one of the first times you haven't seen his brow furrowed with worry. Of course, he's gone by the morning. 
The very last time you saw him, he opened the portal home. It was weird, after everything, but if Miguel felt the same you wouldn't know. Talking at a thousand miles a minute, he alternates between assuring you they'll be fine without you and situation reports from spider people all across the multiverse. Things you'd missed whilst bedbound, asking for advice before you left. He trusted your judgement and the thought warmed your heart, almost making you forget that he completely brushed past the previous nights before. 
You still remember the last thing he had said to you, which would've been weeks ago, now. 
"...and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me directly. Not Jess, not Ben, and certainly not Peter B. Call me, and I'll answer, I promise. You need help, you need advice, you just need someone to talk to, then-"
"-I call you. I get it, O'Hara. Will do." He opens the portal, watching as you walk towards it. He can't take his eyes off of you, even though you can't see him. At the last moment you turn, and run towards him. You almost knock him over with a hug. Burying his head in the crook of your shoulder, he hugs you back, ever careful of your injury. Separating, your smile almost knocks him over again. Weakly, he smiles back as you head through the portal, back home. 
You're left with that feeling, of his arms around your body - warm, so warm - as you putter about by the switchboard. After careful deliberation (you were really, really bored ) you'd taken to manage the Multi Modal Multiversal Switchboard - as aptly named by Miguel. Everyone else called it the Big Red Phone of course, but he had insisted on calling it by its proper name . Every. Time. 
The thought makes you chuckle as you call up Peter B. His icon flashes on the screen in front of you. With a click, he picks up the call, his face materialising holographically in front you. A little hand reaches up and tugs at his ear. 
"Ow… ouch … Dad's on the phone, honey."
"Aww! How's my favourite Parker doing?" 
"Not bad, actually! MJ just made us probably the best burger this side of New York-"
"-sorry, Peter? Me and May are trying to have a conversation." You hear her giggle in the background. Her gap toothed grin pops into frame and she babbles excitedly. "...yeah, exactly May. That's literally what I said."
"Okay, okay, that's enough." He puts the toddler down and watches her scurry away. "You're feeling better, I see."
"Yeah, back in action. Thought I'd check in."
"All good here." He squints, trying to take in your surroundings. "You're at HQ?" 
You hum.
"Could've sworn Lyla cancelled…"
"Yeah, didn't get the memo. But I think something's wrong with O'Hara."
He gives you a weird look. "Uhhh, what makes you think that?" 
"He won't even look at me. Was it something I said? Something I did?" Your eyes narrow. "...what do you know, Peter?"
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He scoffs, a little too quickly, clutching his chest like you've offended him. He's stared down some of the scariest villains around, but the look you give him is truly chilling. "Just… uhhh. You didn't hear this from me." 
"Naturally…"
"We tracked 'em down, the guys that ambushed you and Jessica."
"The Sinister Six? From Earth-215?"
"Yeah, but by the time we got there, it was just Kraven and some of his goons. Miguel got there first, and…." He gulps. "He was pissed. Trashed the whole place looking for the rest of 'em. Beat Kraven half to death and we had to pull him off."
"Shit."
"Yeah, it was pretty rough. Never seen him like that before. And just generally? He'd been weirdly quiet, a little grumpy, more aggressive on missions. I don't know what's gotten into him."
"Hmmm. Thanks, Pete."
"No problem, sweetheart. And if the big guy asks… "
"...this didn't come from you, I know." Weakly, you smile. "Say hi to my favourite Parkers, for me." 
" 'Course I will. We should celebrate, if you're back officially. Mine and MJ's is always open."
"Good to know. I'll see you around."
He waves goodbye, and the hologram clicks off. Sighing, you try to piece together what you've just heard. 
Miguel: acting weird. Well, you knew that already. Aggressive was new. And Lyla? She had canceled, but not for you, for some reason. An honest mistake, perhaps. But Lyla doesn't make mistakes… 
You stew for a couple of hours, puttering about the switchboard, twiddling your thumbs. Something's wrong, and for some reason you're afraid to see him. To have him look straight through you, again, when you ask to do the same. Show me where it hurts. Tell me how to make it better.  
On the way there, you chew your lip in anticipation. In the corridor, you're outside the door to his place, hand hovering above the door. To knock, to call. In the harsh fluorescent light, you hesitate. 
"Lyla?" Nervously, you sink down onto the floor. It's hard to explain, but you don't expect her to actually come; to materialise in front of you. 
"How can I assist you?" She says with a ding. 
"Uhh… hi. Just wanted to talk." You pause, clicking your tongue. "Can you be honest with me?" 
"I can only be honest with you. It is not in my programming to lie, unless specified by my owner."
"Sure. Cool. It's about him, actually. Is Miguel okay?" 
She tilts her head, as if processing your request. "Okay is a subjective term. Is Mr O'Hara alive? Yes. Is Mr O'Hara physically well? Yes. By those terms, he is okay ."
Too vague for your own liking. "I guess I meant more… his emotional state. To the best of your knowledge… in your opinion , Lyla: is Miguel okay?" 
"...I believe Mr O'Hara is experiencing some emotional turmoil."
You frown. "Oh. Do you know why?" 
"Mr O'Hara has instructed me not to disclose that information with you."
"Fair enough. But you don't have to tell me… I could just ask questions?" 
She nods. "There is nothing in my programming that prevents me from answering some questions within certain parameters." 
"Did I do something? Not just today but… last time I was here. Did I say something to hurt or upset him? Is that why he's acting weird?"
"No." She says blankly. "And yes. I suppose it is… complicated." She gestures around that word. 
"I'm a little confused, Lyla."
She sits next to you, on the cool tile. Not that she could feel it, but it feels more intimate - like two friends talking. The extent of Lyla's consciousness, you weren't sure of. Was she alive? To you, she might as well be. Could she think, feel, emote? Maybe, maybe not. You weren't smart enough to understand the nuances of her programming. But you were human enough to see it in her - something glittering beyond the surface. 
It could be projection, but you swear her voice is softer. "He has a name for you. When he speaks about you, and to you. I have it logged in my memory database. Do you know what that is?" You shake your head. 
Lyla opens up her palm and projects videos and images - little Miguel's popping up in her palm, tinny and gruff voices ringing through the hallway. They say your name, shout your name, whisper it. Some say other things in Spanish. Curse words had always been your assumption, and he had given you no reason to think otherwise. Now, having it played back to you, you hear a tenderness in his voice you would've missed. Words and phrases that come up again and again…
"Bichita." She repeats. "Bichito del amor. Mi bichito amoroso. "
You shake your head, still confounded. "...I don't speak Spanish, Lyla." 
"Little bug. Sweetheart. Lovebug. My little lovebug." She clears her throat. "I believe they are terms of endearment."
Steadfast, she directs you towards her palm. Another small Miguel appears, and you think it's him from this morning. 
"I thought I told you not to let anyone in, Lyla?" 
"I did not let her in. She let herself in using the code you previously gave her, Mr O'Hara."
"Yeah, for emergencies. Fuck. Mi bichita, too smart for her own good."
"...If you are in distress, I believe she would understand, Mr O'Hara."
"I just think it's too much. I don't want her to see me like this." 
"According to Alchemax files, previous subjects showing this kind of aggression benefitted from-"
"Lyla, it's not happening, no chance. I can't tell her."
The figure blinks out of her palm. "Mr O'Hara has forbid me from telling you about certain things."
"...but not from showing me." Your eyes meet hers. You give her a watery smile. "Thank you." 
With a hint of a smile, she nods and is gone from the corridor. You are left alone, with nothing but your thoughts of little lovebugs rattling around in your brain.
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16K notes · View notes
hoshigray · 11 months
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Alright, y'all, here's the plan: you're not quite aware of what Toji does for work, yet you keep quiet. But one night, the man comes home bleeding, and you can't keep your worries to yourself anymore. However, for your protection, Toji isn't ready to reveal his assassin business to you. And, in the heat of the moment, ends up saying something that hurts you instead...
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A/n: (Reuploaded bc I forgot smthn) This prompt was picked from a poll to celebrate the 300+ followers milestone (pssst tysm for 450+ you lovelies :D) two weeks back. Truthfully, I don't think this is my best work after proofreading, but I did my best. Probably bc 1) it's longer than I intended, and 2) I procrastinated waaaaay too much with this. I don't even think I made sense halfway through, lol, but fuck it, we ball. Anyways, like last time, there is art drawn by me (@hoshigaby) but it'll be found deep in the fic :33
I hope you enjoy the ride and reblogs + replies are much appreciated!! Also, don't be alarmed that Y/n in the drawing looks of a dark complexion, feel free to use your imagination if it doesn't suit you. But do not edit it; be an adult and ignore it if it's not your taste.
Cw: Toji x fem!reader - arguing/yelling - fingering (fem! receiving) - mating press - Daddy kink - first Toji is sour, then he's sweet bc he's whipped for you :) - clitoral play (pressing down and a pinch) - praise - breast fondling + nipple play - pet names (angel, baby, darlin', honey, kid, mama/ma, princess, sweetheart/sweetie) - Megumi mean-mugging his father while Tsumiki and Shiu Kong tell him to do better lol - mentions of blood and stab wound; isn't fully healed so reopens.
Wc: 5.8k
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"Uhh, are you sleeping on the couch?"
"Yes. Yes, I am."
"...Why??"
You scrunch your brow at your phone, looking at the two people you're talking to through the screen. "I know you're not about to get on my case over where I'm sleeping."
On the L-shaped couch lay you, cuddled up with a fluffy blanket and memory foam pillow, one hand holding your phone while another wrapped around a stuffed plushy. You were on a video call with your best friends: Utahime and Mei Mei.
Utahime, lying on her bed with a face mask, replied to you. "Oh, I'm definitely getting on your case because it's supposed to be the other way around!"
"True, but I like the couch anyways." You puff at the woman who's not satisfied with your answer. "Plus, I'm on the L-part of the couch, so it's practically like a bed!"
Your other friend, Mei Mei, chuckles at her screen. Icy blue hair pulled up in a bun with reading glasses positioned atop her forehead, probably counting her tips on her desk like she always does before bed. "My my, this is the fourth night this week. What did your man say to make you this upset?"
Memories of what happened before come back to you, and so does the exhausting irritation you've been trying to keep at bay.
It was a quiet night like this one as the rain fell hard on the silent streets. You've just put Tsumiki and Megumi to sleep and waited in the living room, watching a movie to pass the time. It was pretty late into the night when you heard the door open as drowsiness settled in. Nevertheless, you got up to greet the man you'd been waiting for coming from the entrance, but you weren't prepared for the sight that instantly woke you up.
Toji Fushiguro, groaning and leaning against the wall with his black jean jacket drenched from the rain. A hand was clenched on the left side of his torso, deep red tarnishing his plain white shirt. He was heaving in an attempt to even his breathing, but when he caught a glimpse of you standing before him, he was quick to try and play it off with a worn-out grin. "Hey, baby." His familiar deep voice was strained in subtle agony.
Worry bubbles within, and you rush towards him. "Oh my God, Toji, what happened!?" You remind yourself to not be too loud as the children are still asleep, so you rely on whisper yellings while walking him up to your shared bedroom.
Even in the room, Toji doesn't explain himself. Just silent hushes and cajoles that he's alright. "I'm fine, honey. Just tell me where's the first aid box." Pointing at the bathroom cabinet, you watch him leave your side to grab the kit. The crimson spilling from him is caused by a stab wound he reveals when he sits on the bathtub, lifting his shirt. You can feel your eyes water, imagining the pain he's going through when he hisses from putting on rubbing alcohol on the gash.
The words you want to say feel so forbidden. Your fingers fidget amongst themselves with the irregular beat of your chest. Don't say it, Y/n. Keep your mouth shut. Don't—
"Is this from work?"
Green eyes shoot back in your direction, and you immediately feel yourself sinking into a pool of regret.
Talk of Toji's occupation wasn't something you brought up much. Even at the beginning of your relationship, he didn't indulge in any insights about what he does, so you eventually quit after a few failed attempts. However, with all the nights he's come home while you sleep or the new scars you point out yet are brushed off, your anxiousness for him keeps festering. And seeing him with his own blood on his hands made you wonder how many nights he has pulled off doing such without your knowledge.
Toji's eyes go back to his wound. "Don't worry 'bout it." The stern tone of his voice has your blood turn cold. He didn't want to entertain this, especially in the wee hours of the night.
And yet you still persist. "No, Toji, I'm serious." You can see him glare at you through the raven bangs shading his forehead. A warning. But it doesn't stop you. "I'm getting worried about you."
From there was when the argument came. Every point you've made to him was shut down at once. His cold responses pierced you. Usually, you'd do what you can to avoid this type of confrontation. But now, it hurts even more when he doesn't cooperate with you, your concerns disregarded like rubbish.
"Damn it, Y/n!" Toji barks at you, seething through the physical pain as a fist bangs hard on the bathroom cabinet. "Why's it so hard for you to stay out of this?"
"Well, if you would tell me things instead of pushing me out the way, then maybe I wouldn't have to!" At this point, you're fighting the tears from falling. Your face hot with frustration, but you still speak. "Toji, I've done so much for you and the kids, and I—"
"No one told you to do—"
"Yet I STILL do!" It's your turn to yell. "I care about you deeply, same with Tsumiki and Megumi. I don't ask for much, Toji. But I want you to open your life to me just a little, even when you're hurt like this!"
His emerald eyes remain rigid despite your pleas to him. And what he said next had you still to the core. You can recall the beat of your heart corrupting your senses while the tears stride down.
"If you were goin' to be a thorn on my side like this, I wouldn't have let you be in it in the first place."
"He said WHAT!!??" Utahime shrieks after you retell the situation to your friends.
You nod your head. "I just looked at him, and he looked at me. Then I turned, picked my pillow up, and headed downstairs to this couch."
To say the dark-haired woman was livid was an understatement. "And tell me WHY this fucker isn't the one sleeping on this couch, again??"
"Even if I did tell him to sleep on the couch, he probably would say something like, 'Tch, why should I? I pay bills for this damn house,' and yadda, yadda." This is true, apart from the man being injured, so having him move would've been immoral. "Plus, I just really wanted to get outta the room, so I went ahead and moved myself out."
"So? You pay bills too, what the hell!? Good God, Y/n," Utahime shakes her head. "You sure we can't pummel this dude?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Besides, I'm getting used to ignoring him when I see him around the house. But, oh my God, guys, his kids," the phone panned down to the plush toy and the pink, fluffy blanket. "Miki saw me sleeping here the other morning and gave me this blanket. And Gumi — he's such a sweetie. He gave me his favorite froggy toy to sleep with to scare off his dad from 'bothering me in my dreams.' "
"Hmm, how adorable." Mei Mei comments. "Funny how such darlings can come from a guy like that."
Utahime nods rapidly and throws in her opinion. "Listen, Y/n, you shouldn't think you outta be in every part of that man's life. Even so, he should at least know how to compromise. I mean, come on, you take care of him, the kids, the house, and go to work with us. All of that just for you to sleep on a couch!?"
"You're not gonna let this couch thing go, aren't you?" The pale blue-haired woman chuckles again, and Utahime sighs. "But she's right, Y/n. It takes a certain kind of person to have the patience to do what you do in a relationship with a single father and two children. I'm sure Utahime would've left with all her hair out."
The dark-haired one gets up from her bed and takes her device with her, heading to the bathroom to finish her skin care. "Now, why am I the one used as an example?"
"Because you're the most vocal about a relationship that isn't yours." A sly smile is painted on Mei Mei's face after she hears a 'hmph!' from the other as Utahime removes the mask and washes her face. "My point is that you like this man — love him even. But that love shouldn't cost you to be so emotionally drained. Perhaps he understands this, except it wasn't the perfect moment for you two to express yourselves. Maybe talk to him when you two stop the silent treatment."
All you do is hum aimlessly, too wrapped in what your friend said to give a proper response. Then you yawn, your body signaling you to finally rest. "I'll sleep on that thought. Night, girlies~~" You wave and send kisses to the other two. They do the same as you leave the video call, placing the phone on the coffee table and snuggling up with the blanket and plush toy.
You try to distract yourself by thinking of what you'll do tomorrow. You gotta get up and make breakfast for Tsumiki and Megumi before waking them up, then head to the station and take the bus to work. Maybe you can finally try that new café close by with Mei Mei and Utahime for lunch. And when you return home, you should whip up something fun for the kids to eat.
Perhaps, make something for Toji since he sometimes forgets to feed himself when you're not around. Or if he's leaving for work, wish him a safe trip back home like always. And...if he's down for it...you can find the right time......to talk...about......
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The moment you closed your eyes, it felt as though you were sleeping on your own bed again. When you turn to your side, your body descends into the feeling of cold sheets beneath you. It was pretty comfy! Plus, the blanket—
Wait...Sheets?
Your eyes slowly open to the sight of bedsheets underneath you. Navigating out of the sleepy stupor, you make out parts of your surroundings to know that you're not in the living room anymore. You slowly rise up to face the door of the bedroom. Your shared bedroom.
A sudden cough alerts you, forced as if to grab your attention. A chill crawls up your spine. Oh God, no. You turn to the side to see the man accompanying his side of the bed. And there he was, Toji, lying on his side with his head resting on a hand, looking dead at you. His raven hair looked damp from a recent shower, sporting only a grey wifebeater and dark sweatpants.
"Hey," is all he says to you. No smirk and no nickname followed with the greeting. Just a simple address to you with his green eyes softly watching yours. You almost fall into their inviting spell the more you look at them.
Nonetheless, it's not compelling enough since you remember he's the man you fought with four days ago — the same man you weren't prepared to see right now. You quickly turn away from him and lift the comforter to exit the room. However, Toji grabbed your wrist before your feet could touch the floor, his grip too strong for you to pull away from him.
You avoid eye contact with him, your back facing him. "Toji, let me go. I'm going to sleep."
"Then sleep."
"On the couch, Toji." You try and pull again. Nothing.
"Fuck that, just sleep here. I didn't carry you up here for nothin'."
You shake your head as you exhale through your nose. Of course, he carried me here. "Whatever happened to you not wanting me to be a part of your life?"
The words that left your lips surprised you and the grip around your wrist tightens. You didn't mean to say them, but it was the truth because they were his own words. Or did you?
Still facing away from Toji, you're unable to see his reaction. Oh shit, is he angry? Is he going to let me go after that?
"Darlin', please..." His deep voice hushed for only you to hear. "I just really need you with me here. Just for tonight...." His hold lessens, leaving you to decide whether you should stay.
The silence is uncomfortable for both of you — especially for Toji, who has you where he wants you to be, where you're supposed to be. As seconds pass when he doesn't hear from you, the nervousness that used to exist before your relationship rises back into the pit of his stomach. And his soul drops down when you remove your wrist from his hand.
Though, to his surprise, your hand lifts the comforter up while your legs move back on top of the mattress. You lay back down with a sigh, your back still facing Toji. "Did you give Miki back her blanket?"
Toji exhales quietly, situating himself back on his side of the bed. "Yeah, and Megumi with his toy."
You hum, and the silence fills the room once more.
Toji looks at nothing but your figure next to him, watching the rise and fall of your shoulder as you breathe silently, your face nestled comfortably on the pillow. To think it's been half a week since he last saw you in this room is hard to believe.
That night when you left him really stuck with him. The image of your face covered in tears was all he envisioned, the same with you grabbing your pillow and exiting the room. After tending his stab wound, he went down to talk it out. Yet when Toji saw you sleeping soundly on the couch with dried tears painting your pretty face, he didn't dare wake you up and just went to bed.
And it was worse the following days. Not only did he have you avoiding him at every chance, but he had to deal with the judgmental looks of his children. Never in his life has he seen Megumi give him glares that meant business. If looks could kill, Toji would be finished. And Tsumiki, his sweet little girl, now pesters him about being nice to Y/n, saying he should think about their feelings and apologize.
But what about his feelings? Does no one understand that he was just trying to keep you out of business that you didn't need to fret over? He's very aware that his job is not a normal one. It's dangerous, and anyone around him can get hurt or worse. Hence, keeping you away from this part of his life keeps you and his family safe. If not knowing he's an assassin keeps you from harm's way, why change that.
At least...that's what he thought, not what he said.
Even Shiu Kong, his handler, had something to say after telling him what had happened during lunch today. "Wow. I knew you were trash, but I didn't know you were that dumb, too." The man snickers when Toji shoves a middle finger his way. Shiu lights another cigarette after discarding the one he finishes. "Well, how were they supposed to know you were watching out for them? If someone you love comes to your front door bloody and sick, whose safety are you worrying about?"
Toji says nothing to that, letting the other man resume speaking some sense into him after taking a long sig from his cigarette.
"Look. I can't promise that this angel of yours wants to stay with you after what you said. That's all up to them. But until they decide that, I hope your dumbass realizes when someone sticks with you literally through blood and pain, that's someone who cares for you to the Moon and back. Not saying you should tell them what you do, but a nice word or two of comfort is all they need. If you're not that big of an idiot, reconcile and let them know you care about them."
"...Reconcile and let them know you care about them..."
If there's one thing that Toji has trouble with, it's knowing how to use his words. It was a tiny problem in the earlier stages of your relationship, but as time flew, you could guess how much the tall man cherishes you by his actions rather than words.
The older man knows that you know he loves you. But now, when he's pushed into a position where words are necessary to portray his real feelings for you, he feels stumped.
"If you were goin' to be a thorn on my side like this, I wouldn't have let you be in it in the first place."
Toji grimaces at his own words replaying in his head. Why the fuck did I say that?
"Whatever happened to you not wanting me to be a part of your life?"
Your words ring in his mind. Why did I fuckin' say that for? What the hell is wrong with me? What did—
"Toji?"
He returns to reality, eyes moving back to your still silhouette.
"I know you're still awake, so I'm gonna ask this." Toji braces himself for whatever your soft voice muttered. "Whatever job you're doing, is it a dangerous one?"
Shit. The dreaded talk is here, and Toji cannot escape it.
"Yeah."
"Are you good at your job?"
"It's the only thing I'm good at."
You nod your head aimlessly to his answer. Then you turn around to face the anxious older man. The moonlight peaking through the window blinds illuminates your face beautifully while Toji's breathing slows.
"I don't think that's true," you continue to answer. "You're good at being a father to Tsumiki and Megumi. Not the best, but a decent one nonetheless. You're also good at caring for me; letting me live with you and your family proves that. And lastly," Toji gulps with a dry throat.
"You're good at loving. You say you're lousy at it, but there's love in everything you do for me. It's there when you look at me whenever you think I'm unaware. Or when you silently grab my hand when in crowded areas. Or," a small chuckle exits from you. "When you carry me up from downstairs to the bedroom."
Toji's jade eyes lock in with yours, waiting for you to avert your gaze away from him. But you don't. You keep looking at him. You keep spoiling him. This type of recognition is something Toji never thought he deserved, so you giving it to him so effortlessly makes his growing guilt eat him alive.
"I care about you so much, Toji." You shift closer to Toji and bring a hand to his cheek, causing the man to lift his brows. Your face is only a few inches away from his. "What happened yesterday really scared me. All I could think about was the wound and all the scars you have. Where they all came from and how deep they are. Or......you never coming back."
"Baby..." Toji absently refers to you with a sweet name, placing his big hand on top of yours on his cheek. He lets you finish.
"I know you can't guarantee coming back to me unscathed, but I just want you to promise me something: please let me know you'll be okay. When you're gone, I can only hope you make it back home safely. So, just promise to not get yourself killed." A sheepish smile is used to ease the serious tone. "Even if I'm not in your life, I'm sure Tsumiki and Megumi would be pretty upset to not have you around."
Toji scoffs. "Trust me, I'm sure they'd leave me the moment you step out the door." That makes you laugh, and it has the man swooning hearing it. His hand moves to your cheek, and you allow him to stroke it with a thumb. "And I wouldn't blame 'em. Havin' such a beautiful and loving angel slip through my fingers?"
"Toji..."
"I'm sorry for what I said and scarin' you like that. If you aren't here with me, as part of my life and all, then I don't think I can't make a promise like that. You're too good fr' me, and I'm sorry if I didn't seem to appreciate you until now."
And you know he's genuine with his plea, his green eyes gauging your reaction to see if he's worth another chance. All you do is sigh and lift yourself up, wipe his wet bangs from his forehead, and kiss it. "Not the best apology, but I accept it."
He drones, relishing the feeling of your lips on him again. "So, are we cool, kid?"
"Yeah," you peer down at him with a smile, and he does the same. "We're cool. However, if you ever yell at me again, don't be surprised when I pack my bags."
"Oh yeah?" Toji raises a brow. "I'll be careful, then."
"You better." Hushed chuckles are shared to comfort the silence, enjoying the closeness between you two that felt like forever to have again. Just the two of you with you giggling above him and the light from the window cascading an ethereal glow to your features. Your teeth shied behind pretty lips, lips he wanted to kiss.
And you catch him looking. You notice him wanting you, needing you. Just as much as you need him. You slowly lean down to his face, planting your soft lips on his rigid pair.
Toji's surprised by the action for a moment, but he moans into your mouth and pulls you into him closer. The kiss starts off nice and slow yet quickly changes to one filled with passion and desire. Teeth clashing, tongues exchanging, sweet moans paired with aroused groans.
As you two are lost in each other's lips, Toji carefully maneuvers you on your back with him on top of you. Your legs find purchase around his waist as he rocks into your core, rocking your hips together in a steady rhythm by the second.
His hand snakes down to your lower region, fingers brushing past your pajamas and onto your panty-covered vulva. The intrusion has you breaking the kiss with heavy breaths filling the silent, moonlit room. He busses your chin down to your neck as shaky mewls slip out your mouth.
"Haaah, Toji, we shouldn't. It's late—Hmmm..." Your whimpers don't stop him from pulling your pajamas and undergarments off.
"It's okay, sweetheart, lemme make it up to you." He says in-between kisses on your clavicle, pulling up your shirt to reveal your bare chest. His free hand fondles a breast before his mouth goes for the other. "Let Daddy take care of you..."
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The sudden combination of his thick fingers intruding between your nether folds and his mouth sucking and licking your sensitive nipple has you whining in bliss, your hand gripping his wet raven hair resulting in a satisfied groan from the older man. Toji missed this — missed you — close to him, under him on this bed.
One finger plays with your wet chasm for a few moments before it's inserted inside. A shriek is let out as your cunt adjusts to the digit. "Mmmph! Oh God, Daddy, your fingers...Ahhh!"
A soft 'pop' leaves from Toji's mouth when pulled back from sucking on your nipple, his tongue lapping around the sensitive nob. "What's that, mama? My fingers feelin' good?" You nod rapidly, but that's not the answer Toji's looking for, so he bites on your nipple gingerly yet hard enough for you to jolt. "Daddy wants your words, angel."
"Yesss, yes, your fingers feel soo good," You mewl to him, and Toji chuckles dangerously low while rewarding you with another digit in your slick-coated hole. His abrupt middle finger joins his forefinger in attacking your velvety walls, and your voice shifts higher in ecstasy.
The sounds of Toji's tongue licking around your nipple coincide with the squelches between his fingers and your gushy slit. Your brain starts to short-circuit.
"Ahh! Ahhh! Daddy, I can feel—I'm gonna," Toji's fingers pick up the pace. You're so close to release, you can feel it.
"Gonna be good and cum on Daddy's fingers, right, baby?"
"Mhmmm, I wanna co—Oh, Jesus, I wanna come. Hoooooh..."
"Then go ahead, princess. Mess 'em up." Toji comes up to kiss your forehead as his fingers go irrationally fast, and a thumb sneaks to press down on your unattended clit. With a choked cry, you spasm and cream on his thick digits. He watches you finish, loving the image of your head pushed back on pillows and your body arching towards him.
He dismisses himself from you once you're done, licking his fingers of your essence and taking off his wifebeater and pants. The image of his free cock has you biting your lower lip in anticipation as you discard your shirt to the bedroom floor as well. When you look at Toji, you notice the bandaged patch on his left side. He sees you glimpsing, quick to ease your concerns. "I'll be fine, darlin'. Won't go too crazy." Looking at his scarred body in a new light, you nod and follow his lead.
Toji carries your legs up to move to the right of his shoulder, situating you two into a mating press. His dick aligns with your glossy cunt. Precum meets slick and lubricates the two sexes pushing into each other. Toji coaxes you. "Too tense, ma. Relax fr' me." You prepare yourself with even breaths, and the man pushes into you with each exhale.
The head of his cock enters, a cry departs from your lips, and Toji hisses with the tightness of your slit. His hips go slow, making sure your walls accommodate every vein and dent of his dick as it ventures deep within you. Hits to your G-spot have you babbling incoherent prayers, gripping the sheets under you.
When his cockhead finally meets your cervix, you sob his name in rapture. Toji smirks, dialing the pace of his thrusts up. "Mmmm, Christ, yr' tight pussy. So fuckin' perfect fr' me."
Every stroke prompts a euphoric moan from you, drool escaping your lips as your mind turns into putty. The noises of his pelvis smacking on your ass feel so wrong to hear, yet you can't help but grip around Toji's girthy length. It gets worse when he presses his entire body weight on you, forcing you to take his cock and abusing your tender cervix with every deep rut.
As for Toji, he's enjoying seeing you writhe and pant under his bow. The corner of your eyes sprinkled with tears, your mouth wailing in euphoric chants, the way your cunt clamps around his dick when he grinds his hips deep onto your come-covered folds. He can never get enough of this, enough of you, driving him so fucking crazy.
"Daddyyy, I'm gonna—Ahhaaaa!!" Toji's now going at an erratic cadence, his cock churning your insides as his heavy balls slapping your folds being the only things you can listen to. Your whines get higher and higher while chasing your climax. "Cu-cumming, I'm gonna cumm—Ohhh!!"
"Hnngh! Oh, shit, fuck, fuck. Me too, kid, me too," Toji groans into your ear. God, his deep voice makes your brain mush. "Oooooh, want me to fill you up, mama?"
Your head nods frantically, tears now staining your face. "Yessss, please, Daddy!! I want it!" Toji hears your pleas and smashes his mouth into yours, moans swapped between lips with tongues daubed in saliva. A hand is moved down to your clit, pinching the spot between Toji's forefinger and thumb. And your pussy tightens around his cock one last time before you peak onto him.
The fluttery spasms of your walls clenching around Toji have him finish in three deep strokes, spurting his seed inside you before he relaxes his heaving body on yours. The kiss breaks with you two huffing and panting, the final moments of your high finally depleting out of your nude bodies.
His green eyes take in your dazed expression, calloused fingers wiping your tears away. "How's that for an apology?"
"You pervy old man," You chuckle to yourself, so out of breath. "You're more of a man of action anyway, so you pulled through. "
"Hehe, I'll take it." He cups your jaw with his big hand, your eyes locked in with his. "I love you so fuckin' much, baby. Sorry for ever making you think otherwise."
You blink once. Twice. Your hands come up to his face, and a finger swipes away black bangs stuck to his sweaty forehead. "I love you too, Toji. I would've left your ass if you weren't."
Toji smiles and leans in to kiss your swollen lips with his scared ones; however, a sharp pain stops him, prompting the big man to yell out. Worried, you try to assess what's wrong. Then you see it: the blood-stained bandage on his left side.
A gasp catches his attention, and Toji turns to what you're gawking at. His body freezes, seeing the trail of blood exit from his reopened wound.
"Ahhhh shit..."
⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
"Well, well, well," Utahime smirks at you through the screen. "I see you're not on the couch anymore."
You smile sheepishly as you lie on the pillows and headboard of your shared bed. Tsumiki and Megumi huddle beside you, napping blissfully around your presence under Tsumiki's pink blanket.
"Yeah, we made up last night." To avoid disturbing the children, you reply in whispers.
Mei Mei hums. "I see that. I assume you two had a nice talk about it?" You open your mouth, but no words come out. The two women quirk up a brow.
"Oh? I take it that there was more than just talking." Utahime chimes in, her smile going ear to ear while your eyes avoid the screen. "No wonder we didn't see you at work today. The dick so good it saved your relationship, huh?" She laughs at you hushing her up for using crude language while the children sleep. "Well, happy you two figured it out. But don't think I won't come over there and beat his ass the next time I see you on that couch."
"I second that," Mei Mei agrees. "But Uta can do the beatdown; I'm more interested in what he has in his wallet."
"Not much, I'll tell you that." you correct your friend. "I'm the one who takes care of his finances for safe-keeping."
"Well, that makes things easier for me."
The three of you laugh through your devices. Then you hear heavy footsteps drawing closer from the stairs. "Oop, he's back now. I'll talk to you guys later!" You hurriedly wave and kiss your friends goodbye before ending the video call. The bedroom door opens, and there he is.
Toji flashes a quick smile at you before it vanishes once he sees his kids nestled around you. "I was hopin' to get some alone time with you."
You giggle as you brush Tsumik's hair away from her pretty face. "You're back early. Is your wound okay now?"
"Hmph, yeah, thanks to you pushin' me out the way and grabbin' for the first aid kit." Toji pokes fun at you for the event from last night, where you immediately pushed the brawny man off of you and ran for the tools necessary to treat his open injury the moment you saw blood. You chuckle and watch the tall man climb into bed. "Doc said it should fully heal within a week or two. Why the squirts here?"
"They were happy to find me back in the room for a nap, so they joined me and kept me company." Megumi snuggles close to you for warmth, and you pick him up to your chest.
"Well, they're takin' my spot."
"I don't think they care."
Toji pinches your nose for your snarky remark, and you wriggle out of his fingers with quiet chuckles. His hand then cups your face and pulls you to face him, his emerald eyes softly gazing into you.
"You know I love the hell outta you, right?" His deep voice sounds sweet to the ears. You purr into his hand. "And I hope you know I'm the same for you." He nods. You smile.
He hesitates for a split second, but Toji leans close to kiss your tender lips. Only for a tiny hand to come smacking him in the face, halting him from further movement. To the shock of you both, Megumi was back awake, sending a mean look at his father.
Toji groans in annoyance. "What was that for, brat?"
"For making Y/n sad." Megumi keeps his hold on you secure as he and Toji mean-mug each other. Queuing Tsumiki from her slumber, defending you from her father. "Apologize or stay away!" The little girl warns the older man.
You're quick to break up the mini-fight amongst the Fushiguros. "Alright, kids, no need to worry about me. Your dad already apologized to me by promising to take us out for dinner tonight." Childish faces beam in delight while Toji shifts to instant puzzlement. "Now go get ready and put on your shoes!" Tsumiki and Megumi do just that, rushing out of your shared room and to their own.
When you can't hear the pitter-patter of little feet anymore, you feel big strong arms haul you into Toji's embrace, attacking you with tickles. You try to squirm your way out, but it's no use when he uses his body to cage you in. "Who told you to make promises on my name, huh? You tryna be bratty with me, kid?" He grins at your ticklish suffering.
"Then don't you—Oh God, stop!" It's difficult finishing your statement while fighting back laughter and screams. "Don't you ever yell at me again!"
He stops tickling you, thank God. You catch your breath as Toji looks at you under him with a proud smile. "I don't plan on it, sweetie. Now c'mere."
Toji finally has his lips placed on your soft ones, and you happily return the favor by wrapping your arms around his neck to pepper him with delicate kisses. But the romantic atmosphere vanishes when the children come and dogpile on Toji after hearing your ticklish screams, forcing the older Fushiguro off of you to deal with his kids with tickles of their own.
Observing the children laugh and squirm under Toji's merciless fingers, a soft smile adorns your face watching the domestic display before you and thinking how lucky you are to witness such a thing. Well, that's before all three of them turn to you and bring you another ticklish horror.
And despite the torture, your screams and giggles are filled with pure joy and contentment, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
3K notes · View notes
romaritimeharbor · 16 days
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FAMILY, OF SORTS. — in which kafka, blade, and silver wolf are an odd but quite special found family to be a part of.
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— trigger & content warnings. mentions of unspecified injury.
— pairings & notes. fluff, found family. kafka & teen!reader, blade & teen!reader, silver wolf & teen!reader. 1.3k words. reader is a stellaron hunter. reader is gender neutral (they/them pronouns used).
— author's notes. the sillies <3 APHE POSTING???? APHELION POSTING REAL AND TRUE????????? i had a request for this on my old blog (from my dear beloved moot @starryshinyskies <3) so i decided to finish it 💪 nd tagging @www-brontide since i know you were excited for this post HEHE anyways how are we feeling about this formatting? if you guys don't like it i'm very open to changing it back. i'm just experimenting with my post format is all 🫶
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kafka seems strangely motherly to me. caring and doting in her own unique ways, but also quite strange and odd in those same ways. an enigma of sorts.
she is the kind of person to always send the stellaron hunters' youngest member texts throughout the day; these texts range anywhere from silly and inconsequential to sweet messages letting [name] know that she was thinking about them.
(her doting nature is not dissimilar to how she thinks of and regards the trailblazer... hm.)
KAFKA
My coat got stained again :(
Won't you help me clean it when you get home, little one?
[ 1:22 PM ]
KAFKA
I saw a new movie today.
It made me think of you. It was quite to your tastes.
Perhaps we should go see it together sometime, hm?
Ah, but you're probably asleep by now...
That's fine. You do need it more than the rest of us.
Sleep well, darling.
[ 11:34 PM ]
she thinks of her little one quite frequently and has been known to pick up little trinkets from different planets that reminded her of them. a phone charm, a set of rings, something more practical like a new weapon... she once returned with a nice coat that matches one of hers. her gifts are always unpredictable but nonetheless very thoughtful.
and when or if they get injured, she is the one who treats their wound(s) with a tender hand.
she does chide them, however.
"you are a stellaron hunter, little one," she reminds, pulling the bandages wrapped around their wound a little tighter, making them wince. it is akin to a slap on the wrist—not enough pain to seriously harm them, but enough to force them to take her words to heart. "if it is not a part of the plan, try your best not to get caught or injured, hm? silver wolf doesn't like to see you this way, and it causes a unique stir in bladie. your getting injured causes quite the unrest among us all! do be more careful next time."
if there is ever a night during which they are struggling to sleep, they are more than welcome to seek out kafka's company.
she would be willing to read them to sleep, if that is what they desired.
however... a far easier method that would ensure they would stay asleep? her spirit whisper ability, of course.
they know kafka would not use it to harm them.
kafka finds their earnest trust beyond endearing. the trust of a little one like them is quite an important gift! the least she can do, she thinks, is assist them when her assistance is needed.
and sometimes, that just means lulling them to sleep.
blade is quite a difficult person to read, regardless of whether he intends to be so or not.
some days, he is distant and prefers to keep to himself. others, less so.
this, though, should not be mistaken for a lack of care. in fact, he cares quite deeply. his care is simply very quiet and he desperately, earnestly, truly does not wish to cause [name] harm.
he is also most likely the one who spars with them and trains them in the ways of combat, which... he isn't exactly the gentlest at doing. training sessions can be quite frustrating in that they often emerge sore and with new cuts and bruises (but really, these injuries are small and insignificant; they are confident in saying that blade would never truly hurt them, nobody in their family would). he does mean well in his tough methods, though.
the universe is not kind or gentle. it will never treat them that way. therefore, he does his best to prepare them so that they can effectively handle the universe's cruelty and defend themselves from it.
one of the ways in which his quiet care manifests is through his treatment of the small wounds he gives them during training. kafka has said many times that she can treat them, but blade always insists on doing it himself.
out of all of their coworkers, blade becomes the most restless when they're away. he gets particularly antsy when they've been gone for a long period or when they're out there alone. kafka always giggles and points out to him how utterly restless he becomes when such circumstances occur.
(he should be assured that they can handle themselves, given that he is their mentor—there is surely nobody else who would know their skills as well as he would—but somehow he simply isn't.)
blade is also, generally speaking, the most protective.
should they come back injured... if it is anything other than a shallow scratch on the cheek, a rage hotter than the brightest star burns under his skin. in those moments, he almost does not dare to touch them, for fear that he might harm them unwittingly... but he does. his hands are somewhat rough when he snatches their face and tilts their chin around to get a better look at the blood (is it theirs? he hopes not) and grime dirtying their face. there is a terrifying threat present in his voice when he demands, not asks, "who did this to you?"
(if kafka was not present in these moments, he might worry that his mara would get the best of him. thankfully, kafka is intentional and present in such situations.)
unless the ones responsible for the wound have already been adequately... taken care of, he will do so himself. there is nowhere in the universe that the perpetrators could hide from him.
it's about protecting them, but it is also about sending a message.
something along the lines of "anyone who lays hands on them will suffer a fate worse than death," perhaps.
death is anything but a terrible fate to blade, but he knows that it is the worst imaginable to some. he will be certain to deliver something infinitely worse, something beyond imagination, to those daring to hurt his younger teammate.
silver wolf is perhaps the least enigmatic of their little family. she isn't an open book, per se, but she's easier to read than kafka or blade... at least, for someone like [name], anyway.
she never fails to harrass them to play a few rounds (which tends to spiral into many, many rounds...) of a game or two with her. why them, specifically? she insists that blade isn't good at them and kafka is kafka. really, it may very well just be that she enjoys spending time with them, but she—of course—will not simply say that.
however... she bullies them terribly about how bad they are. it comes from a place of affection!
she is also the type to win them every single prize at carnivals, just because she likes the joy it seems to bring them. when she encounters rigged games, however, she becomes all the more motivated by her unadulterated annoyance to beat them.
what do you mean she of all people can't beat this awful and horrible rigged game? her???? the silver wolf????? seriously????????
unfortunately, it does not always end in her victory, even when she is infinitely motivated by her anger.
...and she really isn't above just taking one of the prizes when the stall's owner isn't looking. she has done so multiple times for [name].
she would definitely try to teach them hacking (keyword: try) if they aren't already familiar with it. since it has come in handy for her, she figures that they might also find use in it. it's her quiet way of looking out for them.
(her more obvious way of looking out for them is often seen when she is on missions with them. most commonly, it manifests as her snatching their arm and pulling them out of the way of an enemy before obliterating said threat.)
silver wolf is totally the sort of person to pinch their cheeks (to different degrees, kafka and blade also do this!). they are very cute to her.
overall they are a weird but very special little family to be a part of <3
please consider supporting your writers by reblogging and leaving a kind tag or comment. it really helps me out!
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temptaetions · 2 months
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angel eyes 🪽 b.cc (m)
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a/n: the photo above is from stray kids' skz magic school shoot. i don’t own the media. i clearly got carried away writing this, because it's so long. however, i hope you guys enjoy it. obviously none of this is real...so does accuracy matter?
✩ spellbound secrets series m.list
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✩ synopsis: you’ll think you’re in paradise, and one day you’ll find out he wears a disguise, don’t look too deep…
✩ genre: idiots to lovers | love epiphany au | teacher x student
✩ pairing: ??? b.cc x fem!compassion conjurer!reader
✩ word count: 21.6k | lowercase intended.
✩ rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.
✩ warning(s): quite a few time skips. minor character death, mentions of a car accident, semi descriptive. y/n has a scar across her body (not self inflicted, how it was inflicted is not described), both y/n and chan have unresolved issues with love, chan's kind of a dick in the beginning. swearing, mutual pining, alcohol consumption, brief mentions of blood, y/n has a medical episode, once more horribly written smut [between b.cc x reader: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!!), creampie, oral (f. receiving...he starts eating it thru the panties LOL), so much kissing, some (nude) grinding, missionary (because i'm an emotional bitch), light nipple play (clothed), crying during sex, multiple orgasms, reader begs a lot, some biting, light choking (m. receiving), a bit of alluding to sex as 'extra credit' and subtly feeding the professor x student power dynamic]. (more information about y/n: she glows, kind of like a glowstick, and she can float around instead of walking.)
✩ what to listen to: angel eyes - abba | the chain - fleetwood mac | bodyache - purity ache | if it isn't love - new edition | cherish the day - sade
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tuesday – november 02.
it's slow, the fall. it feels like liebesträume.
feeling lost is an understatement. 
he's been lost before - in grocery stores, not understanding assignments. shit, he's even been lost in the woods before. he knows what it's like to be lost, physically. he knows what it's like to not know what his emotions mean, either, so that also counts in his book.
but this? this feeling that he's just wandering the world? not knowing where his purpose lies, or what he's meant to be doing with said unrealized purpose? this is a feeling of damn near disorientation, isolation, off fucking course. it's all the same anyway. everything is the same, nearly everyday.
he wakes up, brushes his teeth. greets changbin and hyunjin at the table for breakfast, and gets ready for the day. goes to class, daydreams. he comes home, has lunch with jisung sometimes, and goes to the gym with changbin at seven-thirty. every few fridays, he'll go to one of the university baseball games, cheering on seungmin and jisung while sharing nachos with his ex-fling, sooyoung, and her best friend (who so happened to be seungmin's former girlfriend.) then, he's home again, he showers, he sleeps for a few hours.
every. single. day.
he gets bored, but reminds himself he needs to find peace in the routine. it's all he knows – he doesn't know what's keeping him here, but he's aware it's something. everyone knows it's something, but have no answers for him. he's sought after so many master sorcerers across all dimensions, begging to find an end to his equation, but to no avail.
he has no idea who he is, or what purpose he serves, and he pretends he's okay with it. he soothes by saying that not all can be known.
he pretends it's fine as he goes through his days, as he goes to class, as he talks to girls. he doesn't feel much of anything when he does these things, but the women he speaks to certainly do. they grin from ear to ear, like cheshire cats, when they get a moment to speak to the uncertainty that is bang chan.
but, it's fine. he's fine, it's really not a big deal.
he's in his last year of grad school, hoping to just bury himself in his studies to stop the feeling of impending doom. normally, you open up shop right after undergrad. you offer your services, barter for goods, sometimes get paid in a goat and two chickens instead of money. so many of his friends have already done so, relishing in the satisfaction that is being a sorcerer and mastering their craft. 
what the fuck is he supposed to do? study until his fingers fall off and his brain becomes putty?
"i dunno, man. you could become a genius." jisung spoke around a mouthful of blueberries, and chan grimaced. "what? i'm bulking up!" shaking his head, chan closed his notebook. shoving it into his bookbag, he sighs. "i don't think i want to know everything there is to know, ji."
"doesn't knowing everything you need to know, start with knowing yourself?" minho teases from across the table, winking at jisung over his coffee cup. the younger boy nearly chokes, getting a whack across the back to aid in not seeing god. "don't flirt with him, he'll have an aneurysm." "hey!" jisung sputters, but the three of them know it's true. how jisung was the campus' playboy, no one would ever know. chan didn't even know if jisung could read when they first met. "you know it's true, ji. i gotta head out, i have a night class this semester with professor y/l/n, i finally got my schedule fixed. changbin is going to hate me because i'm going to miss the gym every tuesday and thursday." chan groans as he swings his bag over his shoulder, and the two men watch as he slides his headphones on, walking out of the library.
he's insufferable lately, and they don't know why. they assume he needs to kiss someone, preferably sooner rather than later.
"you think the poor guy knows what he's in for?" minho mumbles, closing his textbook. jisung shakes his head, popping another blueberry in his mouth. "i hear she's ruthless. i mean, if i was an anomalistic prodigy with gorgeous thighs like hers, i would be, too." "shut up, you can't even kill spiders."
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your classroom is surprisingly cozy as he strolls in. the lights are dimmed, and there are blankets draped across many chairs. he looks around, spotting a green couch in the back. raising his eyebrows, he makes a beeline for it, hearing other people start to trickle in.
setting up his laptop on the table before him, he lets his eyes wander.
the walls are plastered with entomology posters, and he scrunches his nose as he sees a taxidermied praying mantis on your desk. he remembers what you said in your speech at your commencement ceremony – "the people of ancient greece and egypt saw the praying mantis as a guide. a guide for those who needed direction, and my god, have i needed it. life truly does go on and i am further amazed by how deeply it fills me with joy to stand here before you. the people of ancient greece and egypt saw the praying mantis as a guide, and i am so honored to be the mantis that prays for you."
you were the university's little treat, their trophy to parade. their only compassion conjurer and possessor of the will to practice benevolent magic. you cared of nothing more but to help those around you, you never said no. you never denied yourself to be utilized to find peace. he admired you, but not really. it was twisted, but he thinks you should…help yourself. he believes you should be selfish, at least once in a while.
he didn't really know you, but he hadn't expected to, either. you seemed like you were constantly on the go. you floated about, sort of like a ghost. your hands often clasped behind your back, a warm golden glow surrounding you. he'd heard from some people that they've seen it change color, but he never has.
but again, he didn't know you.
"chan!"
the voice whips him out of his thoughts, and he looks up to see yugyeom. he smiles, reaching his hand out for a dap from his oldest friend. "hey! how have you been? still on the baseball team?" "nah, i quit after i started dating doyeon. apparently, she has quite the track record with the team." he whistles, pulling out his laptop as he slides on the couch. "you quit the team for a girl?" chan questions, and yugyeom gives him a shy smile.
"she's not just any girl, chan. i think…she could be the one." he shrugs, a blush coating his cheeks as chan bumps his shoulder. "aww, that's so gross."
"shut up. what happened with you and sooyoung? did you guys break it off?" yugyeom takes a sip of his water, and chan nods as he sees more people walk in and take their seats. "yeah, we stopped fucking around. i wasn't as emotionally invested as she was, and i felt awful for it but we ended on good terms. i'm just not ready for a relationship and i should have made that clear. that was months ago, though, and we're fine." he shrugs, and feels an odd shiver down his spine. he shakes it off, continuing the casual conversation with yugyeom.
the door opens, and they both stop talking to look up. you're floating in gracefully, dark hair framing your face, a few scattered gold strands sprouting at the crown of your head. a bit like a halo, really. long, wine red nails reach for the light switch, dimming the lights even lower.
"good evening, everyone. eyes up front, please." your voice is softer than at your ceremony, but just as confident. you're looking around, your glow dimming lightly as your eyes stop in his direction. chan's eyes flicker to yugyeom, who is smiling at his phone, thumbs typing rapid fire. shaking his head, he looks up at you, your gaze on yugyeom. chan bumps his foot, and his head shoots up. your eyes are slightly amused, "you're paying for this class. i suggest you pay attention." "sorry." he slides his phone in his jacket, and chan bites back a laugh as he clicks his pen. smiling, you redirect your attention. "welcome to identity theory! i'm professor y/l/n, but you guys can call me y/n. you might already know me, as i'm the university's only compassion conjurer, and that is exactly why i'm teaching this class." you hold up the syllabus, and begin walking around to pass them out.
"this is an extension course to the one you took in undergrad, self-discovery 101. here, we are going to further delve into ourselves, and figure out who we are outside of our powers, or what purpose they serve. i like to focus on eudaimonic theory, but if you guys have any others you want to talk about, i'm open for discussion. i also want to apologize for starting the class so late in the year. i promise the workload isn't much, i was just having a hard time deciding if i wanted to teach this class. i wouldn't be doing much soul searching with you guys, i'm already the trophy wife of the administration."
he likes your voice. it's smooth, unwavering even as you apologize and joke, even as you let your feet touch the ground. he feels his chest grow hot as you graze everyone's table with your fingers, a soft chatter beginning amongst the students. he's not nervous, but you're very commanding. he likes the way you grab attention, despite it now seemingly about to be directed to someone in the room.
"your eyes are very pretty." you stop in front of him, and the class grows quiet. you look down at him, the soft light around you a little brighter. he feels his cheeks flush, as he nods in confusion. "do they glow brighter the more i make you nervous?" you tease, and he looks away.
"cute." you slide his syllabus in front of him, and he takes it with a soft thank you.
his eyes were the only thing that gave him that something that people always mentioned. they swirled, every now and again, the brown glowing slightly violet at their own will. nobody knew what it was, but it seemed to take your interest. you move forward with the lecture, not even attempting to hide the subtle boredom in your voice as you go over the syllabus.
"i will see you all on thursday! have a safe night!" you cheer, and the students seem to bask in your happiness as you let them out of the room. you float about, and catch chan at the tail end of the gaggle of students. "you, pretty eyes."
his headphones are in the way, and you place your hand on his arm. his skin is warm to the touch, and he jumps at the contact before turning around, sliding them off. "oh, i'm sorry. did you need me?" "i just wanted to say, i hope my teasing didn't make you uncomfortable. sometimes it just slips out." you smile, and you notice one..two dimples make their presence on his cheeks. "don't worry, it's alright. is that all?" "no, actually." you hold up his file, and he seems to know exactly what's coming. "i don't know my abilities, if that's what you're going to ask. and i won't answer any questions about my parents, that's also in there."
his eyes hold something heavy, and you notice your glow dim as he speaks. if he does, he doesn't mention it. "alright, then i guess that's it. i'm sorry if i disturbed some emotional blockage." your brows furrow lightly, and he raises his own.
"whatever." he mumbles, and slides his headphones back on. he walks away, and you feel your lips tug into a frown. you wonder what his problem is as you walk back into your classroom, sliding the file into your desk drawer.
"you try and make a classroom a home." 
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thursday – november 12.
hello, chan. this is professor y/l/n. i noticed you didn't show up to class last thursday, tuesday, or tonight.
i took it upon myself to look into your file again, with permission from the administration. i want to apologize for the sudden hot seat on tuesday after class, i was unaware of your situation and just wanted some insight. i can see how this made you uncomfortable, and i am sorry for causing said discomfort. i want you to be able to enjoy my class, and hopefully we can traverse that journey together.
that being said, i have come up with a new assignment for you, for the time being. since you don't really know what your specialties are, i can't grade based on performance or any papers delving into how they affect your life, personality, etc.
below is the rubric designed for this assignment. i spoke to the administration, and they're on board with this approach. if anything is too much, please don't hesitate to send me an email, or a text. my number is also below. have a good weekend!
signed,
y/n y/l/n
identity theory
spellbound institute of magic
psychology department
555-8212
he's been staring at this email for the last half hour. he even let hyunjin read over it, asking if he was seeing shit.
he'd skipped your class on thursday, and today. he didn't want to see you, so he avoided the psych hall altogether. he didn't really know how to feel as he switched tabs to the rubric you'd sent, essentially just saying you wanted an essay on how he's been coping with not being sure of his path in life.
how does he feel about it? does it bother him, and if he could pick, which abilities would he pick? his brain says the ability to never see you again, but his heart pangs as he rereads the postscript at the bottom of your email.
p.s. i am once again very sorry. i hope to see you in class on thursday, channie. - y/n
channie. ugh, his heart ached. he'd been so rude.
"you're thinking too hard." changbin sings from the living room, and chan sighs. "how would you know? you can't read minds." he rolls his eyes, shutting his laptop. changbin walks into the dining room, leaning over the back of a chair. "i know that look. the furrowed brows, the pout. you're thinking way too hard about this, and it was an honest mistake on your professor's part. you need to apologize, you grumpy bitch." "yeah, i don't really think it's a huge deal, either." hyunjin chimes in from the kitchen, and chan frowns. "you guys think i'm being overdramatic?" "i think your emotional repression is getting to you, you've been so insufferable lately. when's the last time you got laid?" hyunjin teases as he slides into a chair, and changbin wiggles his brows in agreement. "ugh, don't even." chan slumps his head against the wall. maybe seven months? he has a lot of pent up frustration. maybe not enough to write about his feelings and how annoyed it made him that you were digging into his life this early into him meeting you. what did you need to know, anyway? "isn't your professor that compassion conjurer paradigm? i heard the speech she gave at the convention last year, and i saw the photos. she's gorgeous, that glow around her all the time?" changbin whistles smoothly, and chan's stomach does a flip. he also saw the photos, but couldn't bring himself to think anything of them. he barely remembers watching your speech, too, but he certainly remembers the way your hips swayed as you walked off the stage.
he grimaces, feeling a bit gross at ogling you.
"she's fine." he shrugs, and changbin gives hyunjin a knowing look. "so, she's hot and you're into her. that's why she has you so worked up."
"i beg your finest fucking pardon, seo?" chan blinks, and hyunjin smirks. "then beg, channie. i'm sure professor y/l/n would like it if you did, she seems like the type. get on some dating apps, man. you need stress relief." chan scoffs, shoving his laptop into his backpack. "i'll be in my room, if you decide to stop talking about romancing my professor."
hyunjin and changbin snicker as chan storms off, his door slamming behind him as he flops onto his bed. sure, you were…okay. okay, you're hot. you're so fucking hot.
but, he doesn't like you. he doesn't like that you put him on the spot, and he doesn't like that you intended to ask so many personal questions right off the bat. he also doesn't like that his roommates are probably right – he probably is angry because he needs to get laid.
he groans into his pillow, fishing his phone out of his pocket. he unlocks it, opening the stupid app. "spellbound soulmates, how dumb." he mutters, unpausing his profile. he goes through it, updating photos and prompts. once he's satisfied, he goes to his deck.
left. left. left. left. right. right. left. left.
y/n, 26
compassion conjurer, benevolence magic
biography: sexy as fuck by day, sexy psych prof by night. everything you've heard is true.
interests: if your ass is phat, swipe right 🥵
his eyes widen, your smiling face staring back at him. scrolling through your profile, he sees mostly modest photos – you holding a tray of shots being the most scandalous. not a sliver of skin showing above your waist, but plenty of short skirts showing off your full thighs. you're smiling in every photo, but he can't think of anything except your lips parted, your thighs around his head. moaning his name.
alright, chris. he thinks. chill the fuck out.
he contemplates it for a bit, scrolling up and down your profile when he just shakes his head, closing the app and tossing his phone to the side. he flips onto his back, letting the pillow close around his ears.
he hates to admit it, because he doesn't know you. he doesn't dislike you, per say. but he's not very fond of your subtle insistence.
it's not necessarily your fault, but he really doesn't like talking about his family, especially his parents. only his friends know, and even then, it took all of four years to even bring it up. the fact that they're humans is a huge deal, and he can't risk their safety like that.
not to mention, admissions begged him to keep it a secret. they were toeing the line, chan being the third person in the university's history to have human parents. they knew about the world of magic, but didn't really have the abilities to take care of chan the way it was necessary.
so they didn't. they sent him to boarding school from a young age, and made it a point to frequently visit him. he sees them at least four times a year, but it's never enough time. he feels like he's missing a place to call home. 
he feels so alone.
it's not your fault. and he knows he needs to apologize. he just has too much pride right now.
he hears a knock, and changbin opens the door. "hey, what are you doing? i'm going to the gym, want to come with?" chan sighs, before forcing himself out of bed.
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tuesday – november 17.
he's sitting on your couch today.
legs spread, hair tucked under a cap. black, like the rest of his clothes. he looks relaxed, his fingers dancing across his laptop as yugyeom shows him something on his phone. he just nods, and you can't make out what his lips say. 
you'd been feeling terrible about the events of last week, and hadn't gotten so much as an email from him. not about the assignment, not about how he clearly hates you, or even addressing your apology. you didn't understand him, but you don't know him, either.
the past three classes, you'd gotten to know your students. minnie, soyeon and shuhua were your favorite (and only) group, giggling in the corner over their laptops. they were all herbomancers, and you could tell simply based on how giggly they were. they chatted, and last thursday, shuhua was so high she just sat against her chair and stared into the abyss. you found it a little funny, when soyeon and minnie would have to drag her out of your class.
mingyu was a constant flirt, and you attributed it to his matchmaking expertise. he was one of the few cupidancers on campus, and you'd seen him about before. he had the ability to entrance people, to get them high off his attention, and you often saw girls with hearts in their eyes after speaking to him. it was quite the sight, to see someone emotionally orgasm. the fact that you were his professor didn't stop him from smiling at you, making suggestive comments, overall trying to weasel into your heart. you simply played his game, making him flustered.
yugyeom was too enthralled with his phone, and his girlfriend, to complete the assignments. the fact that minnie had slid eighty dollars his way told you his spirit weaving ways were some for the books – and so did minnie – as she rambled about a party at beta tau that past weekend. "you should come sometime, y/n. you'd get so wasted but it'd be so worth it."
you liked that they felt so at ease with you, speaking to you like you were nothing special. you liked being their age, being able to relate to the crazy parties and not worry about how you'd get home the morning after. you enjoyed the intimacy of the small class, but not the coldness surrounding who you would deem your most intriguing student.
he just sits there and he looks so nice. the slope of his neck, the way his fingers bounce on the keys of his laptop. the sheen of his lips from the cherry lip balm he applies three or four times over the two hours of your class. the way your hue almost changes from gold to pink from staring at him, and you know you catch some of their eyes as it tries.
"why do you glow, y/n?" you can hear minnie's hazy voice from the back of the room, and you feel yourself a bit dimmer than usual as you fight down the feelings of lust. "i actually don't know. the master sorcerers never told me, but i know it can be several different colors. care to ask me what they mean?" you wiggle your brows, and minnie giggles.
"pink means you're turned on, huh?" mingyu calls from his seat between shuhua and soyeon, earning a smack from both of them. you chuckle as he pouts, "what? i hooked up with a compassion conjurer last year in the second dimension, forgive me for assuming." "i thought you were bitchless, gyu? what a nice surprise, loverboy." shuhua teases, and mingyu just rolls his eyes. "well, he's not wrong."
their heads whip back to you, and you're purposely glowing gold. you're glad they don't make it weird, their eyes full of glee. "i know those sex flashbacks gotta be good, y/n." minnie giggles, and sighs dreamily. "i once got one in undergrad during the ochem final. i ran out of time and failed."
you laugh, floating closer to their table. "the colors mean a lot of things. i can also change them at will, if one isn't overpowering the other. the hues and brightness also amplify how i feel, which makes it really hard to hide any of my thoughts. for example," you pause, closing your eyes. you feel the warmth of blue overtake you, and hear a soft ooh. 
opening your eyes, you give a quick spin. "blue means i'm sad, disappointed, or at ease. i rarely get this one, it usually happens when i'm with my closest friends and can act on impulse."
the quartet looks amazed as you continue to change colors, explaining them slowly.
green, for envy, and disgust. you also rarely turn this color, and it is amongst the most dim that you've ever been. pink, for lust. you say it's your favorite color, but not your favorite feeling. orange for anger, and you recall that you only turned this color when in your mother's presence, and that you hated this one. silver, for remembrance and emptiness, and they don't require an explanation as the light grows brighter, your face deepening in sadness before you shake your head.
you exhale, before letting the cold of indigo overtake you. they gasp, and you feel shivers rack your body before you can finally speak.
"this is the only one i don't understand. i can make it seem darker, too." you say calmly, eyeing the dimness of it. it glowed almost like a blacklight, and at your will, it turned a deep violet, lining your extremities in black pixels. "have you ever felt it before?" soyeon pops a piece of gum in her mouth, offering a piece to you. taking one gently, you shrug as you unwrap it.
"nope. this one feels cold, though. the others feel warmer, like a blanket. this is like, sub-zero temperatures." you slide the piece into your mouth, feeling your golden glow return as you speak. "that's so cool, though. thank you for sharing." shuhua is gazing at you, fondness riddled in her eyes. you feel your cheeks heat, as you smile.
"my pleasure. class is over in twenty minutes, so wrap up whatever it is you're doing and i might let you guys dip out early." you nod at them, floating in the direction of yugyeom and chan. looking up from your gum wrapper, you see chan looking at you intently, his eyes slightly swirling with that same violet glow from tuesday.
"hey, pretty eyes. so kind of you to grace us with your presence today." your teasing makes him grimace, a hint of annoyance flashing through his eyes. "paying for the class, might as well pay attention." he mutters, echoing the first words you said to yugyeom.
your brows furrow at his attitude, and you watch yugyeom slip away, beckoned by minnie with a piece of pink paper. chan glances at you, closing his laptop and shoving it in his bag with indignance. "why are you acting like this? i already apologized." you feel your glow flash orange, before feeling the soft tinge of blue creeping up your back. his eyes are still violet, but they've softened. "i'm just trying to help you, chan."
"i don't think you can help, when you're part of the problem." he mumbles, his gaze never moving from your eyes. you sense blue creeping up your neck, and succumb to it, letting it blaze. "how disappointing, for a teacher to try and aid you in finding your path of life." your annoyance is visible as you spin, directing your attention to the gaggle of students watching your interaction. soyeon's eyes are wide as you dismiss them, asking them to please let the door close instead of leaving it propped open.
the words aren't even out of your mouth when you hear the door slam, yugyeom pitiful eyes confirming your thoughts. they begin to stand up, heading for the door when yugyeom splits from them, circling back to you.
"don't worry about chan. he's being a dick, it's not your fault." he places a hand on your shoulder, and you give him a sad smile. "i know, yug. i know."
a soft squeeze to your shoulder and he's gone, you're alone in your room. you sigh deeply, letting the most overwhelming hue of all take over.
the same dark red you felt all those years ago, letting it overwhelm you entirely. you sink into your desk chair, letting the soft burn of grief sink into your skin. you can close your eyes and still see it, the wine color in front of you. the one that matches your nails, and on occasion, your lipstick. the one that makes you ache the most, and yearn for those who are no longer here.
you miss him.
just like you miss chan's wide eyes, not having heard the creak of the wooden door in your turmoil. he slips away.
— ☆ — — ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —
later that night, you're sitting in your bathtub, letting the hot water relax your muscles. you hear your phone ping, and you reach for it.
hello, professor y/l/n. i have read your email a few times since it was sent.
i accept your apology. i also accept this assignment, and will submit it as my final project grade, as per the rubric allows.
that being said, i will not be in class on thursday due to a prior commitment. feel free to email me back with any questions you may have, only those regarding the assignment will be answered.
signed,
bang christopher chan
spellbound institute of magic
general magic
you glare at the email, and let orange flicker like the light of your limoncello candle. you made no effort to question it, simply letting it slide. you send back an automated reply, sounds good! have a good weekend.
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thursday – november 19.
chan hated meeting his parents in secret.
like it were a crime, to want to see them. he hated acting like it didn’t bother him that his siblings were growing up and he didn’t know them, he didn’t know what they liked, or what they did for fun. he felt so left out of everything, but still framed the photos they sent him. he still tucked their letters in a box for safe keeping, he still yearned to be loved by them.
not that they didn’t love him, but obviously it’s hard to do so from a distance. so they sit in the middle of the forest that surrounds the university, exactly 50 miles from all civilization. they sit there, for hours, and catch up.
“any luck yet?” his father peers at chan over a steaming plate of food, and he shakes his head. “no answers yet. if i don’t find out before the end of the semester, the master sorcerers said they’d figure something out.”
his mother sighs, her spoon stirring the canteen that held her warm coffee. "it'll be alright soon, channie. have you focused on other things? maybe find a nice girl to settle down with?" his father watches as chan visibly tenses, before pulling his wife close. "jagi, maybe that's for another time." she grimaces.
"i disagree. if he's having issues with other parts of his life, he needs to put it on the back burner for a second and figure out other parts. when you can't find a piece of a puzzle, you pick another part to focus on, do you not? the goal of life is to not let one bad thing, or one disappointing moment deter you from finding the answer to your qualms." she rolls her eyes, earning a smile from her husband.
"okay, she has a point." his father relents, and chan just shakes his head. "i'm not ready for a relationship.' "what about that girl, sooyoung?" his mother won't back down and he knows that. "moving on from my love life, i'm content. i'm fine with things, i have my friends, i have my studies. i'll get an answer eventually." he shrugs, trying not to let it show how much it gets to him.
"chan." she slides her arm across the picnic table, grasping his hand gently. "you're not happy. you can't possibly be, with all the turmoil you feel. you're like an angsty teenager who has never stepped outside his room." "yeah, well. life goes on." he mutters, and she feels her heart sink as he pulls his hand away, checking the time on his watch. "i think i'd better start heading back. i have an early day tomorrow." he's lying. they know it, but they begrudgingly allow him to bid them goodbye. they watch him 
walk to his car, and flash his hi-beams as a final farewell before pulling off.
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thursday - november 26.
it's been about a month since chan started taking your class. 
and it's been about a month since he's been able to say a single word to you without the same tone of indignance on the tip of his tongue. seeing him look indifferent in the back of your classroom made it all the better, though, because at least now he was in class. he didn't speak to you unless you spoke to him first, but he was on time and attentive.
you liked something about him, but you didn't really know what. it's quite possible you just have a little lustful wishing for him, but it felt…weird. it felt strange, you could practically feel your skin on fire every time you glanced at him, catching his eyes every once in a while. he never held the gaze for longer than a few seconds. 
as for his violet eyes, you hadn't seen them since. you saw him smile with yugyeom. you've heard him laugh, the sound so sweet to your ears. you hated that your glow was so evident when his giggle resounded in the classroom.
you thought nobody noticed, the students didn't treat you any differently than their own friends. soyeon, minnie and shuhua made it a point to start inviting you out to drinks, and mingyu flirted with you relentlessly. you simply took the interactions in stride, and smiled politely as you kept the lectures going.
but tonight? chan wasn't in class (again) so you didn't have anyone to fawn over. mingyu was front and center, and the girls gathered around him as they conspired amongst themselves. they weren't very secretive, and you could hear them giggling as you floated over.
"what's the joke? i want to laugh, too." you teased with a soft smile, and mingyu flashed you his pearly whites before turning his phone at you.
message from: doyeon
[9:03pm] hey mingyu! tell yug i'm waiting for him at the party, and bring the girls with you!
[9:04pm] see if you can convince your professor to come, too 👀 i've seen her and she's hot! maybe she can take eunwoo off our hands, i'm sick of him moping over jisoo
you chuckle, your glow brightening a bit. "you guys want me to go to a party, at a frat house, on a school night?" shuhua nods her head, a giggle falling from her lips. "c'mon, y/n! live a little, there's going to be so many cute boys there." 
"yeah, y/n! plus, a little bird told me a certain purple eyed boy will be there." minnie wiggles her brows at you, and you smirk. "yeah? chan skipped my class for a party?" you glance at his empty spot on the couch, your glow dimming.
"c'mon, y/n. we all know you have the hots for him." mingyu says matter-of-factly, and you laugh. "i do not! he doesn't even speak in class, i don't know anything about him." you shrug, and mingyu smirks. "i've seen the way you look at him!" minnie chimes in, and you shake your head. "so what if you don't? he's hot and you're into that. he has nice muscles, i've seen him at the gym." mingyu sounds like he's trying to convince you, and you give him a smile before patting his shoulder. his cheeks tinge as you whisper, "are they as nice as yours?" soyeon teases mingyu as you float away, and their words stay with you as the class continues for another forty minutes. you type away at your desk as you bid them goodbye, but don't miss minnie sneaking away from her group to hand you a piece of pink paper.
"the address, in case you do want to see chan tonight." she slides it across the desk, a shy smile playing on her lips as she walks away. you glance at it, grimacing at the beta tau seal.
you sigh, pulling your phone to map the walk there from your apartment, receiving a text from your friend, jihyo.
message from: jihyo <3
[9:55pm] hey, you! come with me to a party, i want to scout for booty tonight 👀 i heard beta tau is having one
message to: jihyo <3
[9:57pm] funnily enough, i was about to text you, i got an invite. captain booty reporting for duty 🫡 wear something hot!
— ☆ — — ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —
the party was already in full swing when you and jihyo arrived, pinkies linked. it was apparently a student's birthday party, a short stop on the baseball team. you didn't keep up with the university's sports, but managed to snag a piece of birthday cake in a cup (meaning you dumped the rest of the pink whitney into your cup, and a splash of lemonade) as you let jihyo roam.
"y/n, you made it! you look so hot." you hear minnie from behind you, and you swirl to see her holding onto mingyu. "hey, guys! sick party, my friend jihyo also wanted to come." you shrug, taking a sip from your cup, and minnie gives you a knowing smile.
"hey, don't worry about it. lover boy hasn't kissed anyone since he's been here." minnie moves her head in the direction behind you, and you twist to see chan holding a red solo cup and talking to another student, short with wire rimmed glasses, and a waist you could only dream of. you turn back to minnie, who just winks at you before pulling mingyu away with her.
your body twists to look at chan, trailing your eyes down his figure. he's got on a white muscle tee, and mingyu had not been lying about his body at all. his chest donned what seems to be a rosary, nestled between his pecs that bounced lightly as he laughed. a sliver of his lower stomach was visible, mostly covered by a jacket he likely took off, but the red on the lapels looked good against his skin. silver hoops looped through his lobes and if you didn't sink your teeth into him soon, you were going to combust.
you don't have a crush on chan. not in the slightest. but, you're not blind.
you decided to worm your way to the bathroom, but you didn't realize his friend had spotted you staring. nor that chan's eyes were on you now, wondering what you were doing at a party on a school night, in that short black skirt and soft, flimsy blouse – with no bra. his eyes roll, asking himself why you manage to torture him this way. your coat is long, and covers most of your thighs as you walk away. he winces at the twitch of his cock against his pants.
"professor! what are you doing here!" you hear yugyeom shout from across the room, eliciting a woo from all the people at the party. you smile, and hold up your cup. "hey, yug!"
he waves you over, and you oblige, downing the rest of your drink. "here, try this! i made it." he holds up a long, brown bottle – and you smirk, letting him pour it into your mouth. a bunch of students are watching you down this burning liquor without a second thought, a low whistle emitting from one in particular.
tall, handsome. nicely chiseled face, hair slicked back. barely dressed. slutty.
not chan.
"who invited the trophy wife of the administration? that was hot as fuck." he leans on soyeon, who huffs and shoves him off. "shut up, san."
minnie screams before you can answer. "i invited her! she's cool as fuck, drinks up and tits out for professor y/l/n! wooo!" the crowd that had formed around you took their drinks, a few girls flashing their breasts at you. you let a laugh rip through you when you spot jihyo smiling at you in the crowd before knocking back the rest of her drink. you point to the hallway, signaling you're going to continue your way to a bathroom, before you suffocate on the smell of buchanan's and cheap beer.
the house gets quieter the deeper you go, aside from soft moans coming from a linen closet, obscene wet noises making you shiver as you turn left, finding a clean bathroom. you leave the door slightly ajar as you splash cool water on your cheeks. you let it drip through your lashes before you grab for the toilet roll, only to see someone slip into the bathroom in the mirror. 
"hey." chan's voice is low as you pat the toilet paper on your face, and you glance at him. "hey. skipped my class for a party, huh?" "what are you doing here?" he doesn't sound upset, moreso amused. his eyes shamelessly rake up your legs, and you give a snort in reply. "minnie invited me, and my friend jihyo wanted to scope out some ass." 
"yeah?" his eyes flicker to yours in the mirror, the violet swirl evident, and you feel your thighs clench in his gaze. your glow starts to change hues, and you roll your eyes as you glow pink instead of your normal yellow. "yeah. why, channie? are you here looking for babes?" you turn, letting the liquor talk as you lean against the sink.
"would it bother you if i was?" he tilts his head, sort of like a lost puppy. you smirk, shaking your head. "why would it bother me if my student wants to get some?" "do you always play this little game with your students, professor?" he takes a step closer, and you curse yourself for glowing a little brighter, but shrug as nonchalantly as you can. "beats being uptight like professor callaghan."
"god, you're so right." he chuckles, before his hands cage you in between his body and the sink. "i bet this glow thing gets really annoying, huh?" "you have no idea." you look up into his eyes, subconsciously tucking your bottom lip under your teeth. you wonder why he’s not questioning the color change, maybe he just knows, maybe he was listening last week. you wonder how many girls he’s gotten with, and how many he’s romanced with those angel eyes of his. "you look good." he says gently, almost as if he's giving you an out. almost as if, he's nervous.
"i taste good, too." you mumble, ghosting your lips over his. you can feel your skin start to singe, but you let him kiss you anyway. you let him lift you onto the sink, parting your legs to stand between them. you let him run his hands up your plush thighs, leaning into the kiss as deep as you can without completely absorbing him.
“can’t you get in trouble for this?” chan doesn’t really care, to be honest. you can tell he doesn’t as he drags his lips down your neck, his fingers tugging your skirt up gently. “hmm, no. not me, anyway. trophy wife of the administration privileges.” 
he laughs against your skin, and you give him a cheeky smile as he kisses your lips again, his thumbs gently working circles into your hips. “i don’t want to do this here. let’s find a room, yeah?” "mmm, i don't think so. students who don't participate in class don't get extra credit." you pout, patting his chest when your phone buzzes in your pocket.
message from: jihyo <3
[11:47pm] saw you dip with cutie, so i cozied up to that mingyu guy
[11:48pm] going back to his, u can get home safe?
[11:49pm] i'll turn around if u can't. bros before hoes 💪🏻
message to: jihyo <3
[11:51pm] go ahead <3 txt me deets l8r he's a massive flirt lol
you slide it back into your pocket, and chan's hands leave your skin. he quietly moves your skirt back into place, and his eyes flicker to meet yours. he doesn't look upset at your rejection, moreso a bit grateful. "you're cute. you ask too many questions, and i'm still upset with you, but you're incredibly cute."
it's just the liquor talking. he won't remember any of this, or change his behavior by tuesday. he seems to hold grudges, but you know it's really just emotional blockage. nothing you can't help with, but everything he won't let you help with.
"maybe come to class and i might let you cum in me. you'd like that, wouldn't you?" you mumble against his lips, a shiver going through his spine. "let me walk you home." he murmurs, nuzzling his nose against yours. you feel your stomach flip, the gesture so cute you just might let him sleep with you. you capture his lips again, sliding your hand up his chest, fingers softly wrapped at the base of his neck. his hand catches your wrist, sliding it higher.
you give it a soft squeeze as you slither your tongue into his mouth, drawing a soft groan from him. he pulls back, your lips chasing after him as he raises an eyebrow. "who's needy now, huh?" "shut up, let's go." you place a peck to his cheek, and you force your glow back to gold, albeit dimmer than normal. he has his hand on the small of your back as you exit the bathroom. he slides it around your waist, his fingers softly digging into your hip before he stops dead in his tracks. "what?"
you're whispering as you follow his eyes, seeing a blond guy in a baseball jersey staring back at him as he sneaks out of the closet you passed. a girl is gripping his hand, floating behind him. the guy turns on his heels, quickly weaving his way through the people crowding the hall, the girl giving a hazy smile as he drags her through.
"in a closet? really?" he shakes his head, and you feel his hand squeeze your waist. "sorry." "no worries. could've been us if you showed up to class." you tease as he guides you through the crowd, and you spot minnie watching you sneak your way through the people. she wiggles her eyebrows, and you just shake your head as chan opens the front door, letting you out first as he grabs his jacket from his friend.
"shit, it's colder than a witch's tits out here." you chatter, and chan quickly joins you on the porch, sliding the jacket over his arms. "it really is. which way do you live?" the walk is quiet, besides the leaves crunching under your shoes. he's close enough that his cologne meets your nose, but not close enough to where you can touch him and not be overdoing it. the taste of his lips was not enough to satiate you.
"why are you so mean to me?" you ask, not daring to look at him. he hums in response, before grabbing your shoulders, swinging his arm over you. you instinctively wrap your own around his waist, your fingers brushing the same sliver of skin you'd eyed earlier that night. you're burning up against him, and he welcomes the heat as your hips bump.
"i'm normally not this uptight." he starts, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "i don't like answering questions about my personal life, much less my abilities. or lack thereof, rather. it was too soon when you asked, i'm still trying to figure myself out. i'm very lost in that area of my life, and if i don't find out soon, i'm not sure how i'll make a living. please don't think i'm only this way with you, i'm just feeling stuck. it's like i'm running out of time." you take in his words, nodding silently. you know your magic is taking over him as he speaks, because you feel your glow dimming more and more as you keep walking. "i don't know what that feels like, chan. i'm sorry, genuinely. i truly do want you to understand that i am here to help as much as i can, not just as a professor but as…a friend, i guess." "mmh, i don't think you can help." he squeezes your arm gently as you make a left turn. "i'm too far gone, i believe. i thought about what you said, the emotional blockage thing. and i know that you're using your fingers to seep your funky little magic into me so i talk about myself and get things moving for your peace of mind." his fingers pat yours lingering on his hip, and you sheepishly go to move them.
he holds them in place, as you guide him to the gate of your complex. "i don't mind talking to you, or answering your questions. i really, really admire you as a person and sorceress. the selflessness, you're one of the kindest people i've ever had the pleasure of meeting. you just have to give me some time to warm up to you."
he stops in front of the gate, letting you punch in the code before sliding his arm off your shoulders. "i want to apologize for my behavior. i know i've been increasingly bitchy and standoffish, i'm just stressed. i'm sorry, and i'm sorry for taking it out on you. i know you're just trying to help."
"won't you come in? it's rather late and i'd hate to have you walk back alone." your eyes are slightly pleading, and he raises a brow. "are you sure?" 
you shrug, holding the gate open. he walks past you, not comfortable enough to slide his arm over you once more. he feels the warmth of you as you float past, and he follows quietly. unlocking the door, his eyes peer into your apartment, and it's just like your classroom. 
the lights are dimmed, and your couch is the same velvety green. it smells like bambinella pear and bergamot, and your walls are littered with photos and articles. many of them penned by you, he notices, as he skims them. "feel at home?" you chuckle, and he hears the rustling of your coat as you slip it off.
"mhm, it smells nice in here." he nods as he continues observing articles, before bumping into your side table. he looks down and sees a newspaper from seven years ago, a smiling face staring back at him.
spellbound prodigy involved in an automobile accident puts the world of wizardry at risk.
he skims the paper, seeing your name repeated over and over again but yet, no mention of the person in the photo. no age, no name.
"oh, you found that?" you're behind him, and you take hold of the paper, letting it droop over your hands. "who is that?" you sigh, your fingernail tracing the man's face. "minhwi. he was my best friend from primary school until the summer of 2017. that's when the accident happened." setting the paper back down, you pat the picture before floating to the kitchen, your golden glow gone as it begins to turn dark red.
"it's grief, the hue." you wave your hand at yourself as chan leans against the island, his eyes softening as you pour water in a glass, sliding it to him. the color dims as you turn to him, sitting on the bar stool. "i know, you're wondering how i'm involved in the accident."
chan looks down, and you let out an airy chuckle. "god, i hate talking about this." you rub your thighs, before looking up. "he told me he was in love with someone, and i encouraged him to make the hour drive to see her. i even offered to tag along, even though it was into the human world."
you're nervous, and chan can feel it. he rounds the island, sliding onto the stool beside you. you twist to face him as he takes your hands in his. how cute, you think.
"there was a really bad thunderstorm, but minhwi literally used to race cars for money. rain or shine, he was an expert behind the wheel. he won so many, and i was there for almost all of them. he called me his biggest cheerleader." chan's thumb wipes at your face, and you hadn't even known you were crying. you feel your chest ache as his hand lingers, before dropping back to your lap. "lightning struck one of the oak trees lining the backway route into town. minhwi tried to swerve out of the way, and we wound up spinning out. the tree landed on the car, and the weight crushed us, and there was glass everywhere. he died on impact."
you sniffle, and chan's eyes are glossy as he clears his throat. "and you blame yourself?" "absolutely." nodding, you interlace your fingers with chan's. "and the fact that i survived and he didn't, it kills me inside. it's not like he would've been able to, he was a…" you trail off, and chan's eyes match yours in size.
"...he was human." he finished, and you can't look at him. "you exposed the world of magic and our practices, to a human." you stay silent, before his arms envelope you in a hug. the burn you feel is almost debilitating, but you feel blue crawling up your neck as he rubs your back softly. "i'm sorry for your loss, y/n."
"that's it?" you blurt, and he laughs against your neck like he did earlier. "yeah, it's not like i can judge you, and it's not like humans don't know we exist. we're just frowned upon, it's not a crime to involve yourself with them. love makes us do crazy things." he pulls back, and you let blue overtake you. "i'm genuinely sorry about your friend. he sounds like he was a great time." "he was. i haven't talked about him since. all i have left is the scars from the accident." you shrug, taking a sip of your water. "scars?"
you flash a smile at him, before shaking your head. "just know, if i ever do let you in my pants, the shirt stays on, not because i'm insecure but because i hate looking at them."
he nods, a shy look crossing his eyes before he closes them. "can i ask you for a favor? before you go to bed, i mean?" "sure, anything." you tuck your hair behind your ears, sitting up. "that emotional blockage you spoke about, you can…remove that, right? i'm not too sure what your powers are." he mumbles as he picks at his nails, and you smile. "i can. would you like me to do that for you?" his eyes look to yours, and you see fear flash through them. "it doesn't hurt, channie. come on, i can do it right now." you slide off the stool, holding your hand out to him. he takes your hand, but instead of following you, he pulls you towards him.
your chest is flush to his, and you see a subtle blush on his cheeks as he dips his head, lips brushing against yours. you relax in his hold, letting your lips mold against his. you can't feel anything but heat and his tongue teasing yours, but it's no big deal (you're trying to convince yourself at this point.) his hands move to hold your face, his fingers burning your skin when he pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours.
"not tonight, i don't think i'm ready." he whispers against your lips, and you open your eyes to look into his hazy ones. nodding, you press another chaste kiss on his mouth. "whenever you're ready, channie. i'll be here."
"i'll take the couch." he plants one last kiss on your forehead, and you nod. "if you insist. goodnight, channie." "goodnight, y/n." he watches your glowing form trail down the hall, likely towards your bedroom.
and he sees a hint of indigo spreading across your back as you shut the door behind you.
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tuesday – december 15.
chan is a lot nicer as the next two weeks go by. still shows up to class, even early, since your escapade after the party. he finds himself staring at you more often than not, and you're not the only one who notices.
minnie often slips you knowing looks, and you find yourself growing shy as you look to see chan peeking at you over his laptop, eyes glowing that bright violet you've come to adore.
"alright, everybody. have a good weekend!" you smile cheerfully as they file out, your glow now bright blue. the girls had mentioned you looked much more relaxed these days, and you attributed it to 'more sleep.'
you didn't really know what it was. you'd woken up glowing indigo the day after the party, and almost everyday after that. you flickered indigo when you caught chan in the hallway before class on tuesday, and when he hung back a little too long on thursday. really, if you even glanced at chan, you'd flash the dark color and leave the students rubbing at their eyes.
chan, on the other hand, was constantly looking for ways to talk to you.
he saw the flustered flickering, the confusion of your body as it glitched from hue to hue. at one point you had splotches of indigo, pink and your natural gold all over you. you still flirted back at mingyu's advances, albeit he calmed down noticeably. he observed that mingyu was on his phone more often, and you later found out through minnie that he was utterly romanced by jihyo. you thought it funny, and teased him about it (and jihyo, the next time you saw her for coffee and pastries.)
"hey, can we talk?" chan is standing behind you as you wave off your students, and you jump at the closeness. "sure, channie. what's up? is this about your final project?"
it wasn't an unreasonable question. the semester was coming to an end, the students looked visibly stressed and you hadn't heard of any parties since.
but, you knew it was unreasonable for your situation with chan. you never missed his longing glances at your lips, or the fact that he was early to class. his friends changbin and jisung often trailed behind him as he walked to class, and he only introduced you to them because they wouldn't stop badgering him at the doorway. "she's even prettier up close," jisung had said dreamily, and you just gave him a soft smile as you watched him bump into the doorframe.
"not really? maybe." he rubs his neck, and you tilt your head. "what's going on?" 
"uh, i think i'm ready. for what we talked about…the night of the party." he swallows thickly, and you feel taken aback. "oh? what brought this on?" you float to the back, patting the same couch he sits in during class. you tuck your legs under you, holding your head up with the wall. his knees brush yours as he sits, and you wince at the heat you feel in your chest.
"i started the essay you assigned last night." he can't look at you, and you find your stomach to grow increasingly tight. "yeah?" "i can't write anything. i have six drafts already, and i feel so overwhelmed." he's nibbling on his lip, almost as though not to cry. you lean closer, his eyes glassy as they meet yours. frowning, your hand finds home on his jaw, your thumb wiping a few fallen tears. "i'm here, i can help. we can do it here." 
you get up, moving the tables back towards the walls. he watches you as you move, and your back is splotched with indigo. he still doesn't know what it means, but you shiver as it creeps up your neck. your hand flies to your nape, rubbing your skin. it dissipates, returning to your golden glow.
"need an open space. are you sure?" you motion for him to join you in the center of the room, and he nods. you can already feel the same heat on your skin as he settles in front of you, and the same eerie cold of indigo on your shoulders. you huff, sliding your cardigan onto the floor and rolling up your sleeves. "i have to touch your skin for this, okay? and don't worry about anything else, just keep your eyes on me." he's nervous as he lets you take his shaky hands, a soft pout on your lips as you close your eyes. "i got you, okay? i won't let anything hurt you, you're strong." you're muttering, but he finds comfort in your words. he's sure you say this to everybody.
until you start glowing a blinding blaze of indigo, your face scrunched, wincing as the room cools significantly. you're brighter than he's ever seen, possibly brighter than the fluorescent lights that line the university halls. your grimace grows as you furrow your brows deeply, the glow around you seemingly like a flame. he just watches silently as you drop one of his hands.
"can you lift your shirt for me?" your voice is strangled. your eyes are screwed shut, and he quickly does so, your hand trembling as it makes contact. your skin feels like it's on fire, and you don't know what's happening that you can only hear ringing. you'd never felt anything this intensely, but you persist as your hand palms around his torso, before reaching the center. you splay your fingers, pressing into his skin. 
you flash green for a second, so quick he almost misses it.
sliding your hand up his chest, you find the base of his throat. a sigh slips through your lips, and you pull him closer. placing his hand on your waist before moving yours in his hair. you flash slightly pink as he slips his other hand on your hip, his fingers digging into your skin. 
"this might feel a little cold." you murmur, and you dim entirely. the glow around you is now gone, a soft grey floating off you. it runs to the floor, like sand, and forms different grainy figures. kind of like…sandcastles. you open your eyes, despite the damn near inferno heat where your skin meets his.
"these are all your blockages." you pull his shirt down, and move his hands from your hips. to your right, is a grainy woman that splits into several more women. next to her, are two figures, who seem to disappear into another figure, a forest. you skirt around him, holding him in place with a hand on his hip. behind him, is another figure.
shaped kind of like you. your thighs, your arms, your hair.
"what…do they mean?" you're snapped out of your process by his voice, and you sigh. "this one…channie, you have to find better coping mechanisms. sleeping with women for stress relief is not good for you. i know it feels good, but there are other things you can do. ever tried puzzles?"
you sink to the floor, pulling him with you. you move the figures next to each other in front of you, the sand-like texture sticking to your skin. gesturing to the women, you keep talking.
"casual sex is awful, when you compare it to relationship sex. shit, even hate sex. at least you feel something other than lust for the person you're fucking." you grimace, and he nods. with a wave of your hand, the sand collapses. "these next three…you can pick which you want first." he glances at them, his hand subconsciously searching for yours. you grab it, and he points at the two people. you let your skin burn as you begin to talk, his fingers tightening around your palm. "these…are your parents, and the forest around the university." the room stills, and chan lets go of your hand. "what about them?" "you're afraid they're not proud of you. you feel like you're missing out on your experiences with them, because…" you wince as an aftershock racks your body, making you shiver. you miss chan's nervous glance. "because they're distant. you feel like an outcast from your family, and it affects the way you form bonds here. it's hard for you to build friendships, and it's hard for you to establish relationships because you fear being loved. or maybe loving, and not being loved back"
taking a breath, you pull your knees to your chest.
"the forest is representative of your lost feeling. all the trees look the same, and it makes you feel like you're constantly going in circles. everyone here is identical, we all have something special. you find it hard to relate because although you know there is something that makes you like us, you're unaware of what it is." he nods, and you let the figures drop.
"this one…" you're mumbling, and he leans slightly closer to hear you. sighing, you pull the figure of you closer. raising your arm, the figure raises her arm. "that's me." his head snaps to look at you, your eyes burning holes into the floor. you glance at the figure, collapsing it. all the figures pool together, and you lean forward, blowing it like you would dust off a bookshelf. it disappears, and chan leans back on his hands.
"what about you?" he murmurs, and you shake your head, moving to lie through your teeth. "i don't know." "you're lying." you feel your glow return, flickering gold. "y/n, tell me what it means." "i can't." you shrug, "i don't know what it means. did this help? do you feel better?"
he's peering at you, his eyes swirling violet. you raise a brow as you look at him over your shoulder, and he just shakes his head. getting up, he stalks back to the couch. you watch as he shoves his arms into his hoodie, and you simply get up, floating towards your desk.
he grabs your arm, pulling you closer to him. you sense the frost of indigo across your mid-back. you turn his hold, eyes glued to his fingers wrapped around your arm. "why?"
"hm?" "why can't you tell me?" his eyes are insistent in their violet glory. chills run down your back, indigo spreading over your hips as you run your eyes over him. he's so beautiful. "because…i can't reciprocate."
he doesn't understand, you can tell as he keeps looking at you. kind of like he wants to eat you alive, but also like he wants you to vanish.
"it means you're in love with me, or you will be. you don't like the idea of it, because it means you'll have to open up to me. that kind of…figure doesn't change, even if you want it to. you won't get the option to leave me out of your heart, and it will be unrequited for the rest of our lives. you will love me, forever, and you won't get a say in it." he lets go, brows furrowed, and his face is deep red in embarrassment. you take a step forward, and your hands instinctively reach for his waist. he allows it as he crosses his arms across his chest, his eyes fixated on you, waiting for you to speak.
"i can't love, chan." you whisper, and feel indigo overwhelm you. pursing your lips, you look down so as to not let him see the tears forming. "trust me when i say i wish i could. i wish i could love you, the way you deserve. i could wake up every morning and reach for you, but you would never be there because i can't give you what you need." the tears are dripping off your face now, pattering on the rug beneath your feet. you let go of him, your fingers tugging your shirt up, slipping it over your head. your hair falls to your shoulders, and you push it back, dropping your shirt on your desk. his eyes soften as he looks at the curve of the wide scar – like an insignia, it's carved into your skin. it starts on your shoulder, curving around it the way a fallen bra strap would. it trails down your sternum, before splitting at your diaphragm. a sharp point ends right under your left breast, while the other curves to the right of your belly button, ending on your hip.
"there is nothing i could do in this world that could ever get me in trouble, because i have this." speaking softly, you lift the cup of your bra, showing him where x marks the spot – directly above your heart. "the coven said this was my punishment for minhwi's involvement in this world, and the outrage i sparked. i can't feel love, and i haven't for so long that even if i did, i wouldn't know what it's like. i won't ever feel what it's like to be loved again, because i don't deserve it."
chan's eyes are glossed over as he brings his hand to your skin, the singe making you grimace as his fingers trace the border lightly. he tucks his lip in his teeth as he touches your shoulder, and your glow flickers slightly brighter. he pulls you in, burying his nose in your hair. "everyone deserves love. this is not your fault, i'm sorry things happened this way." you pull back, his eyes glistening with tears as he thumbs the scar on your shoulder. you give him a sad smile, shrugging in his hold. "it's life. life goes on, but for what it's worth…if i could, i'm sure you'd take great care of me."
"i still can." he says, reaching for your shirt. "i'm a pleaser, really. reciprocation has never been an issue." 
"are you seriously making a pass at me? after i just told you all of that? have some shame." you let an airy chuckle slip through your lips as you take your shirt from him, and he just smiles. one, two dimples. "not being able to love doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to cum. just saying." you gasp, landing a gentle smack on his arm before sliding your shirt on. "chan, stop it! what did i say about casual sex, hm?" pointing an accusatory finger in his direction, he cages you between your desk and his firm chest. "didn't we just talk about this? you know it's not casual." you know it's not casual.
"just once, think about yourself, yeah? do yourself a favor." he places a chaste kiss on your nose, and you feel your cheeks heat as he peppers his lips over them. you let a giggle bubble in your throat, his lips stopping over your lips. "just think about it." he gives your lips a quick kiss, before pulling back.
"it's late, let me walk you home?" he offers a gentle look in his eyes. you just nod, grabbing your purse from the back of your desk. you decide you'll move the tables back on thursday, sliding your cardigan up your arms. "aren't you cold?" he asks, sliding his arm over your shoulders like he did the night of the party, as you lock the classroom door.
"no, actually. i don't know if you feel it, but every time you touch me, i feel like i'm on fire." you chuckle lightly as you start walking, and his breath hitches. glancing at him, he just moves the two of you forward. "chan?" "mhm?" he doesn't look at you, and you stop walking. crossing your arms, he sighs. "it's not a big deal." he shrugs, trying to shake the subject by tugging you slightly closer. you frown, wrapping your arms around his waist. your eyes are fixed on him, and he can't help but coo.
"you're so pretty." he squishes your face with his free hand, and continues walking forward. "does it bother you?" you ask, your fingers drumming on his hip. the air is so frigid, and so is indigo as it fights chan's warmth. you just have to let me warm up to you.
he did so awfully fast.
"does what bother me?" he's tracing circles in your shoulder, the movement scorching. he seems so relaxed, so unperturbed by anything. you'd never seen his face so calm, used to the furrow of his brows or the bags under his eyes darker than they should be. "the fact that i won't be able to love you back." he chuckles, fingers squeezing your shoulder. "i'm used to it, as pathetic as it sounds. love is not my forte, or for the people around me. jisung is surprisingly able to get into almost anyone's pants, and can't settle down for shit. changbin is sickeningly in love with his best friend, and do you remember that guy we saw at the party? the one sneaking out of the closet?" 
you nod, and he laughs. "that's seungmin. that girl he was with, they broke up back in august. they've been fucking around ever since. if they're both at a party, they're hooking up. can't seem to stay away from each other, in a desperate attempt to stay on each other's minds, i guess? it's cute, i think." he shrugs. you feel your heart skip a beat, looking  down to see a white glow on your chest. you ignore it, probably glowing silver as you feel the emptiness, the longing to understand what he means.
"so no. it doesn't bother me, it never will. you get used to it."
it pains you a bit, to hear him sound so…well, used to it. so accustomed to settlement, so unbothered by a lack of reciprocation. selfless, really.
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wednesday – december 16.
chan wound up spending the night at your apartment. he insisted on taking the couch before you physically pulled him into your room. the moment his back hit the mattress, he ate his words as you tickled him, forcing him to admit that it was more comfortable.
really, you'd just wanted an excuse to wake up next to him. maybe see his bed head, run your fingers through it, exchange a morning kiss. all of that stupid couple shit that you would never fully experience.
because love makes you do stupid things, like spin out on a backroad and die. so you don't deserve to feel it, and really, it keeps you safe. you have no idea what it's like to love anymore and you pretend you're okay with it. you soothe by saying that not all can be felt, not all that can be desired should be had.
but fuck, if you didn't like chan before, you certainly do now.
there's no reason for this. for him standing in your living room, holding a cup of coffee as he reads through the articles you've written and framed. for him to look so cute in your old abba shirt that's too tight on his arms, for his eyes to be swollen with sleep as he blinks over the mug. for him to be so effortlessly unaware of his beauty, of his own effects. on you, on the people in his life.
"you're up." his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you feel your cheeks heat as you nod. "your hair is a mess. here, let me fix it." 
he sets down his cup, calmly running his hand through your mussed hair. the curls fight him as he tucks them behind your ears, his fingers lingering on your lobes as you stare at him. your indigo glow reflects on his skin, his head tilted as he speaks. "what? cat got your tongue, professor?"
your mouth opens to retort, but you have nothing to say. nothing comes out. you feel orange flicker through you as you close your mouth, earning a squeaky laugh from the man in front of you. "cute. there's coffee in the kitchen, i just made it." 
he doesn't have morning classes on wednesdays, you figure as he follows you to the kitchen. because it's eleven thirty and he's still in your apartment, in your shirt, with his hands on your waist, and you don't care one bit as you pour yourself a cup of coffee.
"are you upset? you haven't said a word." his thumbs work into the small of your back, and you shudder at his touch, before you shake your head. "i'm not used to having people here so early." "it's nearly noon, y/n." he laughs airily, his breath tickling your neck. "still, so early." 
you try and ignore the heat in your chest, far stronger than it had ever been before as his fingers carefully dip below the waistband of your sweats, coming out just as quickly. "you weren't in bed when i woke up." you're muttering, but his proximity makes him hear you anyway.
"aw, did you want to wake up in my arms like they do in the movies?" he's teasing you. you scoff in embarrassment, eyes not catching the subtle white glow on your chest as you turn in his hold. "no way, pft. i like spreading my limbs like a starfish, you were crowding me all night." "hey, i offered to take the couch." he shrugs, and you just shake your head. "should've insisted a little more, then i wouldn't have felt so cold when i realized you weren't there." you joke as you set down your cup, and he raises a brow. "didn't think it would bother you, but that can be fixed." "chan–" you squeal as he hooks his arms under your thighs, your own flying to his shoulders. your legs wrap around his waist as he marches the both of you to your bedroom. "chan, don't you have classes today?" "don't you?" he kisses your forehead gently as he sets you down on your bed, pushing you back lightly. you roll your eyes, trying to hide your excitement as he slips under your duvet. he tugs you closer, your back to his chest. if he cares about the scorching heat of your skin touching, he doesn't mention it as he settles his head in the crook of your neck, reaching to intertwine your fingers with his. he holds your hand tightly, nestling it between your breasts. "if you wanted to touch my boobs, you could've just asked." "shut up, let me hold you. be selfish, for once." he nips at your earlobe, and you sigh. tender kisses trail your neck, and you can feel pink creeping down your thighs as he gives your hand a squeeze. "is this okay?"
"mhm." you can't speak as he lets go of your hand, fingers dancing across the exposed skin of your hip where your shirt has ridden up. he doesn't go up, but instead softly dips into the waistband of your sweats, snapping your underwear against your skin. a whine slips, and you freeze as he pauses. "should i stop?" his voice is raspy in your ear, and your hand grabs his wrist, bringing it lower. "it's alright. you can keep going. f-further, if you want."
you curse yourself at the stutter, hearing a soft chuckle in his throat as his fingers pad over the fabric of your panties. your breath hitches in your throat as he circles the wet spot you've been presented with, a shaky sigh escaping chan as he rocks against you. you feel pink envelope in its warmth as you turn onto your back, holding his hand in place as you capture his lips. he kisses you back fervently, his fingers never stopping their movements on your clothed heat. 
"c-can you…" you whimper against his lips, his hand never slowing as you move against it, brows furrowed. he watches as you try to form words, your eyes screwed shut as your hand tugs his away. "can you go d-down on me?" barely a whisper as you peel your eyes open, and he swears they hold the stars.
"i'd kill a man if you asked me." he shrugs, and you just roll your eyes. tugging your sweats off, he gets a glimpse of the way your panties stick to your lower lips, his heart racing in his chest knowing he's got you soaking.
he could make you cum with them on. he's positive.
spreading your thighs slowly, he watches as you hook your thumbs into the waistband. he pushes your hands away, not bothering to address your confusion as he holds them in place, sinking between your legs. he can't help but tease, dragging his soft lips up your skin, watching you shudder at the contact. he moves to grip your hips, your shirt rising and the end of your scar becoming visible. his eyes flicker to yours, "shirt stays on, right?"
"y-yeah." you look away, and he rubs your hip reassuringly. "s'alright, baby. i can make you cum just like this, if you want."
it's not a question, you can tell as he kisses the pink cotton of your panties. he has no intention of taking them off, he might not even fuck you, but you don't care. all that matters are his eyes peering into your fucking soul as he dips his head down, a chaste kiss pressed to your hip. he trails down, hands circling your plush thighs as he litters them with kisses. your eyes are watching him nervously, lip tucked under your teeth to stop the soft pants from echoing the room. you feel like you can't breathe as he pulls you closer to his face, pressing that strong nose into you, inhaling deeply. "you smell so fucking good, baby." he's not even doing anything, but the vibrations of his moan against you elicit a whimper from your throat, making you buck your hips forward. his grip tightens as he nuzzles his nose against your clit, placing a soft kiss on it before he speaks against it.
"be nice, or i'll make you scream." he smiles into your underwear, tonguing your clit through the fabric. he watches as your glow grows brighter, pulling you impossibly closer. he's letting you grind on his face, to use him for your pleasure, and you'd be lying if that doesn't make you that much more wet for him. "y-you don't want to take them off?"
your stuttering is adorable to him, and the way your fingers card through his hair and tug adds to his own pleasure. shaking his head, he snaps the waistband against you again, "you're so needy, aren't you? can't get off just like this?" "channie, p-please. please, i want your f-fingers." he hums against your clit, continuing his cruel lapping, the sound of your pussy against his face obscene and sloppy. "you can beg better than that. tell me how bad you want it, baby." "w-want it so bad, channie, please. please, i'll be g-good for you, p-promise. s-so good." you're almost sobbing, and he almost feels bad. a gentle laugh leaves his throat as he thumbs your slit, leaving sticky strings against his skin as he gives in. "so good? so, so good for me? is that right?" he slides the flimsy fabric down your legs, the exposure to the cool air making you shiver. he's watching your face contort as he collects your arousal on his fingers, before slowly teasing your entrance. "i swear to god, chan-" your retort gets cut off by a gasp, his fingers hitting just right, his lips sucking tortuously on your clit. he likes it messy, is all you can think in your fucked out state as you coat his entire hand in your slick, feeling him groan against your pussy.
"look at you, so pretty. you're a good girl for me, right? you're gonna soak the sheets, hm?" he feels you clamp around his fingers, another wave of your arousal glazing his palm as you sob. "fuck, you sound so hot." "c-channie..." you rasp, your voice so low he almost misses it. he peers at you over your soft tummy, your lips swollen and covered in your spit from biting back your moans. you're actively whining, grinding against his hand in a weak attempt at reaching your release. "aw, baby wants to cum? is that it?"
you whimper, making him curl his fingers inside your wet heat. he seemed to have found the perfect spot as you arched your back off the bed, attempting to pull away from him. his left arm holds you tightly in place, your fingers clutching his wrist as your choked moan rings blissfully in his ears. your thighs close around him, his soft shh doing nothing to quiet you down as you let your orgasm wrack your legs. his lips pepper kisses all over your pelvis, mumbles of praises as he works his way up. 
he hovers over your face, pressing his soft lips on your cheek. you wrap your arms around his neck, shivering at the way his fingers pinch your clothed nipple lightly. "you can give me one more, right? just one more, princess." he's murmuring against your skin, and you nod as he reaches your lips. 
"just one more?" you nip at his lower lip, before sinking in to kiss him. "just one. want to feel you around me, want to know how good i'm making you feel." you realize it's important to chan, despite what he said the night before. he wanted to be praised, he wanted to make somebody proud, even if this was the only way he felt he could do it. he could act like he's this statue, this emotionless, needless creature of nature – but he also desired approval, to be needed, to be wanted.
to be loved.
you don't say anything as you let his hands push your knees to your chest, his lips now suckling on your nipple through your shirt. your hands move to his head, pushing it away as you go to slip it off. his hands let go of your legs, entwining your fingers with his brows furrowed. "you don't have to." "i want to." you quip back quickly, tugging your fingers out of his grasp. you hook them at the hem of your shirt, lightly lifting off the bed to slide it off. he hesitates, his eyes tracing the curves of the raised skin. the way it glows lightly, almost as though it's losing its defined edges.
his eyes flicker to yours, your gaze intently scanning his face. did you think he'd be disgusted? maybe even repulsed? lowering his head, he brushed a kiss to your lips, before he allowed himself to sink to your chest. you breathed in nervously, your fingers gripping the sheets next to your body when you felt his mouth planting feather-light touches to your scar.
he can feel your skin heat under his face, the more he travels along the healed welt. the glow is slightly brighter than your overall pink, as you shudder under him, his hands pulling your fingers into his, the crumpled sheets forgotten as he pins your arms above your head.
"you're so beautiful. gorgeous, ethereal. no words could express how lovely you are." he whispers as he presses one final kiss where x marks the spot, and you jolt lightly at the singe you feel. it spreads, the whole insignia across your torso burning deeply as he moves back. his eyes are flashing with something you can't read. "chan…" "sorry." he shakes his head, his thumbs rubbing circles into your hands. you tilt your head at him, before glancing at his body, a smile spreading on your plump lips. "are you going to fuck me with all your clothes on?"
"i can." he smiles, and you raise an eyebrow. "off, all of it." 
standing off the side of your bed, he tugs your old abba shirt off, and you watch with sinful eyes as he flings it away. "stop staring at me." he whispers, and you shake your head playfully. "you said you'd kill a man if i asked, and gave me the best head of my life, but i can't watch you strip?" 
"the best, huh?" he ignores everything else he slips his sweats off, pulling your hips to the edge of the bed. "don't get cocky, or this won't count as extra c-credit." your eyes peer at him, the leaking head of his thick cock already teasing your folds lightly. his hands circle your legs once more, pulling one over his shoulder while folding the other close to your chest. he stares at your soaked cunt, the way it clenches around nothing. so inviting, so wet, so ready for him.
"that's alright, let's count it as the first class i missed. what was it, getting to know me? ask me something." he continues his teasing, watching as you squirm against him. "uhm, o-okay. what's your favorite color?"
"really?" he rubs against you lightly, his tip dragging over your clit so menacingly, you swear you could cum from just that. "hm, i like black." "black is an ab-absence of color, fuck." you dig your nails into your thighs as he shallowly thrusts into you, the lack of warning wracking a shudder up your spine. "mm, if you can't keep talking there's going to be an absence of dick in about two seconds."
"n-no, no please. shit, that feels so good." you can't keep your eyes open as he slowly sinks further into you, stilling his movements as you tuck your lip into your teeth. "ah, ah. eyes open, keep talking to me." his fingers lightly tap your cheek, your skin burning in embarrassment as you peel your eyes open. "next question, baby." "b-biggest accomplishment so f-far?" you swallow thickly as his hips are flush against your ass, allowing you to adjust to the size of him before making any more movements. he leans his head against your ankle, brows furrowed as he speaks. "probably making you cum so hard, you cry." you narrow your eyes as you look at him, "you h-haven't, though?" "but i will." he kisses your shin, giving an experimental thrust of his hips. your eyes flutter shut, a silent gasp from your lips turning to soft mewls as he starts a gentle pace. "next question." "d-do you believe in love at first s-sight?" you feel him hesitate, before he gives you a particularly harsh thrust. "somewhat." he rubs your thigh gently before continuing his brutal ministrations. "harder, please." silently, he obliges, letting your breathy moans fill his ears instead of talking. he hates talking, he hates answering questions, but he can't help and adore the tone of your voice, the softness of your queries, the avoidance in answering his.
"you feel so good, channie, holy shit." he can feel you clenching tightly around him, but lets your praise take precedence. the way you're arching your back off the mattress, hairline lined with beads of sweat as you let him fuck into you, just the way you like. the way you seem to love, as he lowers to whisper in your ear. "next question."
the proximity makes everything feel like it's a thousand degrees, your hands flying to his hair as he sucks on your collarbone lightly. "favorite s-song? ah!' you hiss at his teeth on your skin, feeling his grin against you.
"your voice." his thrusts are slowly becoming less steady, but you don't care. you don't care because his skin is scorching hot, he's holding you to him, you can feel the air of his pants against your neck and he feels so good.
there's no reason for this. for him to be blissfully ruining you while holding you flush to his chest, your nipples touching with every roll of his hips. for him to look so good while he defiles you, the way you're not even speaking coherently in his ear. for your soul to feel like it's aching for more of him, but how much more could you have when you can't love him. for him to be so effortlessly unaware of his beauty, of his own effects, on you, as the white-hot of your orgasm starts approaching fast.
"i…" you feel a sob rip through you, and he instinctively pulls away from you. "hey, hey. it's alright, baby." guilt fills his chest, his hands holding your face as the tears stream down your cheeks. "it's alright, we don't have to–" pushing yourself up on your elbows, you smash your lips to his, feeling yourself glow so hot you're practically on fire. it's all teeth and tongue, and you're wrapping your fingers around his throat before he can react. squeezing gently, he whines into your mouth, his hips snapping erratically against you. you swallow his sounds in your quiet sobs, the tears dripping down your neck doing nothing to cool you down. 
"y/n…" he whines pitifully against your lips, and you can feel his pout emerge as you clench around him. he settles his face in the crook of your neck, cheeks flushed. "p-please don't stop, don't stop, e-ever…" you're just as needy as he is, throwing your head back as he bites at your shoulders, your hand on his throat tightening as he sends you over the edge.
"fuck, baby." the whimper into your shoulder does nothing good for him as you clench around him, milking whatever is left of him, hips driving you both into overstimulation. he slows, his head lifting from your shoulder to peer into your eyes. you avoid them, letting go of his throat and wiping them off with the back of your hand.
the room feels heavy, with guilt. shame. maybe even a bit of hatred, but you’re not entirely sure as he kisses you gently, chastely, before pulling back. his eyes hold the sun, the stars, the moon.
"guess you got your biggest accomplishment, huh?" you chuckle thickly, and he shakes his head, pulling out slowly. his eyes avert to your center, watching his cum drip out of you slowly. he feels weird, it's such a waste. "are you okay? i should've asked sooner, i'm sorry." "no, no. it was…it was really good." you admit, feeling your glow flicker. you close your legs, scooting up on the bed as he reaches for your shirt, you cross your arms over your chest, fingers digging into your sides. "i really liked it, actually." "are you sure?" he's absent, you can tell as he wipes the back of your legs gently, before tossing the shirt over his shoulder. "i'm sorry for crying, i know it was really sudden. i just felt so overwhelmed and you felt so good, and i…" you trail off, and he feels his cheeks heat, shaking his head again. "no, it's fine. that was the goal, after all. i…do you want me to go?" your brows furrow, and you tilt your head. "go? why would i want you to go?" he shrugs, not meeting your eyes as he tugs on his sweatpants. "i don't know, i usually leave after…things like this." "what happened to 'you know it's not casual?'" you use air quotes, and you see his cheeks burn bright red. "i…i don't think i'd be able to do this, especially after what we talked about yesterday."
"do…what? we just had sex, it's not a big deal." you uncross your arms, ignoring your blatant nudity as he slips your abba shirt to you, taking it just to toss it to the side. "...act like i don’t care. i really, really like you, y/n, and i already feel so guilty about this." he can't look at you as he slips his hoodie on, the one you'd thrown over your desk chair last night when he said it was too hot to wear to bed.
you close your mouth, pressing your lips into a firm line as you grab the shirt, tugging it over your head. "i figured this would happen. maybe you should go, chan. clear your head, and we can talk later."
your brows are furrowed as you open your bedroom door, and he swallows thickly. he knew what he was getting himself into, so why does it bother him now? he said he wouldn't care, he said it so confidently.
and yet, he can't bring himself to say a word as he slams out of your apartment, eyes full of tears. leaving you feeling dejected, guilty and alone.
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thursday – december 17.
it wasn't until the next day that you noticed it was significantly smaller.
it didn't curve under your breast anymore, the subtle x on your skin gone. it didn't wrap around your shoulder anymore, and it stopped right next to your navel. the scarred skin was now a bit paler, and you'd grimaced as you tugged your shirt on.
you couldn't be arsed with thinking about it, really, because now you had to walk into your classroom and face chan. of course, the chances of him not being there were fifty-fifty.
which inherently, made you feel worse.
you didn't understand why you couldn't stop thinking about his words, and what he said. your voice was his favorite song, he didn't care if you loved him or not, he somewhat believed in love at first sight? he'd met you officially a little over a month ago, no one can fall in love that quickly.
groaning, you felt orange flicker across your body as you let your heels clack against the saltillo tile of the hallway, tossing your half-empty coffee cup in the trash can. upon entering your room, the air feels…cooler.
chan is sitting on the couch, his legs squished together as minnie and shuhua peer at his face. soyeon, mingyu and yugyeom are flipping through various textbooks, each talking about what could have caused a sudden irischroma shift. he probably feels the heat of your stare, his eyes flickering to yours.
they're a deep, deep indigo color. they flash lightly at the sight of you, and minnie looks up to see you standing at your podium. "y/n…you've gotta come see this." "i can…i can see it, minnie." your voice is faint as you feel your chest searing hot, your hand coming to soothe it. clearing your throat, you shake your head as you feel a little weary, shuhua approaching you quickly. "are you okay? y/n?" "yes, i'm okay." your breathing becomes a little labored, soyeon and mingyu rushing to your side as you sink to the floor. "just give me some room." your hands touch the cool floor, and you can feel yourself dimming by the second. 
"gyu, get help." minnie shoves mingyu out the door, and you can hear his footsteps fading as he runs to the infirmary. "chan, help me pick her up." yugyeom urges, and you weakly shake your head.
"i'm fine, i'm okay." you choke out, your hand clutching your chest as you feel chan's warm hands on your arms, circling around to lift you gently. "easy, easy. i got you, baby." he murmurs, and you feel your eyes sting with tears as he lets you slump against him, your glow fading fast.
"stay with me." his fingers dig into your side as he picks you up bridal style, carefully walking you over to the couch. yugyeom pulls their backpacks off, letting him lower you gently. minnie fans you with a stack of papers. chan peers at your face, your brows pinched as you breathe in as deeply as you can, his thumb instinctively padding at the crease. huffing, you tear his hand away, lacing your fingers in his. he acts like his heart doesn’t lurch forward.
"alright, everybody, back up." mingyu's voice rings in the room, and your bleary eyes can barely make out the oxygen mask that nurse taeyeon is slipping over your face. "there, there, professor. we got you."
you're shivering as she instructs chan to lift you onto the gurney on three, and you almost cry at the loss of contact when he sets you down. "chan, chan." your voice is nearly a whisper, and the students watch as you flicker, your glow lost as it glitches between colors. 
"maybe you should go with her." yugyeom nudges him as nurse taeyeon glances at him, and she crosses her arms as chan nods slowly,slipping his bag over his shoulder. he takes nurse taeyeon's place at the end of the gurney, rolling you quietly out of the classroom. you're flickering from color to color as he walks slightly faster at nurse taeyeon's command.
"what happened?" she asks, and chan shakes his head as they take a sharp turn, your groan resounding in the hall. "i'm not sure, she just started clutching her chest and basically fell to the floor." nodding, taeyeon stays quiet the rest of the walk, her eyes only glancing at his worried expression and your hazy one. they're in love, she thinks. this is love.
taeyeon can't really help you. her powers lay in the herbalism field, she has no idea what's wrong, and she can't get a specialist here fast enough. she watches as chan carefully positions you in the empty room, letting his bag slide onto the floor before taking a seat at the foot of the bed. she simply sighs, calling that she'd be back with a rosemary tea and to just sit tight as she calls for the master sorcerers.
his hand gently strokes your ankle, making you flinch. "chan, chan i can't breathe." you tug at your collar, and he quickly reaches to unbutton your top buttons. "it's gonna be okay, angel." he's whispering as your hand grasps his wrist, the oxygen mask doing little to help as you wheeze.
"chan…" his head lifts, and your eyes are teary as you hear footsteps approaching hurriedly. he doesn't acknowledge you as the master sorcerers burst into your room, taeyeon trailing behind them with a steaming cup. "excuse me, coming through." she perches at the edge of the bed, carefully pulling you up. you whimper softly, and chan feels his heart ache at your pain. "drink this, it'll help your stress. that's probably what this is, just some anxiety."
taeyeon's tone is soft as she takes off the oxygen mask, the master sorcerers waiting until they can swoop in. neither of them acknowledge chan, despite getting to know him insanely well over the past few years. he could dare to think that they were afraid of him, of not knowing what he was. master sorcerers my ass, he thinks.
"i can't…" you're breathless, and taeyeon's gaze softens as she lets you slump down on the pillow once more. "it's alright. the master sorcerers are here, okay? they'll take care of you." she pats your shoulder, and you nod wearily as the grandest of all, dr. kang seulgi, takes a step forward.
"bang chan, why are you here?" her sharp voice echoes in the room, and your hand weakly reaches for him as he slides off the bed. "i brought her in, dr. kang."
"i see. you can evacuate the premises." she waves him away nonchalantly, and he frowns deeply as he steps back, your eyes fixed on him. almost like you're begging him to stay.
"i think i'll stay, actually." he blurts, and dr. kang's eyes snapped to him. "i'm not asking you, chan, i'm telling you." "let the boy stay, what's the harm?" dr. min's voice rings from his spot against the door frame, and chan glances up at the nimble man. "c'mon, seulgi."
"yoongi, if you undermine me again, you're sleeping on the couch." she grits, her wedding band to dr. min glinting in the low light as she rubs her temples. your hand reaches for chan once more, a soft groan from your lips catching his attention. he takes it, entwining your fingers quickly, kneeling at your side. "of course, jagi. y/n, what seems to be the problem?" dr. min pushes past, noting the undone buttons of your blouse. your chest is glowing, but the rest of you is the dimmest indigo he'd ever seen. much less, having seen you never glow indigo. your breathing is still labored, chest glowing brighter as chan once more rubs the pinch of your brows away.
"y/n, i'm going to open your shirt, okay?" dr. kang pushes past dr. min, her nimble fingers undoing the rest of the buttons. your scar is illuminated, but…it's not really there. it's faded, and chan can tell this is out of the ordinary as dr. kang's brows raise.
"yoongi." her voice is low, bringing her husband to her side. "oh, my."
their eyes meet, as though they're speaking telepathically. dr. kang's eyes flash gold as she furrows her brows, her husband grimacing as his own flash green. they glance at chan, who is gingerly moving your hair out of your face, his fingers barely ghosting over your sticky skin.
you can barely see him through your foggy eyes, but you're scanning him intently. you can see the glowing indigo of his eyes, that matches yours. you're dimming, but he's brighter than ever and it sends a shiver up your spine. his hand squeezes yours, a wave of heat attacking your chest.
dr. kang looks back, her husband staring intently at her.
"he healed her, it seems." his eyes speak, and she shakes her head. "he's not a healer, remember? we tried that already." yoongi nods, eyes fluttering back to the both of you. chan's now sitting on the edge of the bed, your arm draped over his lap as he speaks to you gently. he can't hear what chan is saying, but the glint of adoration in his eyes tells him all he needs to know.
"chan, can i see you in the hallway?" dr. min speaks, and your head turns to him. you pout, your eyes filling with tears as chan pulls away from you. dr. kang gives him a hard glare as she takes his place, her cool hand placed directly on your hot skin, making you groan.
"yes, dr. min?" chan's eyes are enticing, and dr. min shrugs. "let's try a little something, hm?" chan follows dr. min's line of vision, the door of the bathroom ajar. dr. min makes a gesture for chan to wait, before ducking into the bathroom, shutting the door. chan hears a loud crash, and dr. min appears just as fast, with a bloody fist.
"dr. min, are you alright? i can get nurse taeye-" dr. min places his free hand over chan's mouth, a knowing look in his eyes as he holds up his injured hand. "heal me, chan." "what? sir, i'm not a healer, you know that." chan furrows his brows, and dr. min shakes his head. "channel it." dr. min's eyes are boring into chan's soul as he looks away, shivering as he tries to channel any sort of magical energy for this injury. he's not surprised when nothing happens, and dr. min nods his head.
dr. min simply heals it himself, and chan looks away as the skin closes quickly, the dried blood disappearing before his eyes. vitalis mendacium, he thinks it's called. "chan, i think i may have an idea of what's going on with professor y/n." dr. min clasps his hands together in front of him, and chan tilts his head.
"you're in love with her, aren't you?" dr. kang's voice rings from the doorway of your room, and chan gapes at her. "w-what?" "don't play dumb. she told me she helped you clear some emotional blockage on tuesday, and she showed up in your blockages." dr. kang crosses her arms, and a groan is heard from you, chan flinching at the sound. "chan, this is dangerous territory." his eyes narrow as he shakes his head. "i don't think what you did to her was right. i think we all deserve a chance at love, no matter our mistakes. you're wrong, dr. kang." dr. kang scowls, "you think we did this to her? the old coven did it, we had no say!" she points between herself and her husband, and dr. min places his hand on her shoulder.
"chan, seulgi is right. in this world, there is no amount of study done that could reverse what the old coven has done to y/n. they cursed layers upon layers of punishment on her, this was never intended to be something that could be undone." dr. min speaks slowly, and chan can hear you whining in the room behind the couple. he's antsy, he feels sick to his stomach knowing you're a mere ten feet away and he can't make you feel better. 
"i don't know what to do." dr. kang admits lowly, her hand covering her eyes as she looks away from the men in front of her. "i think…" dr. min trails off as chan pushes past them, sliding next to you. he watches chan fan you with his hand, your own wrapped around his waist as you shiver.
"you trust me, right?" he looks to seulgi, who nods her head. "always." his hands spin her around, making her face the two of you. "i think this is his to heal. look how quiet she is in his presence, she's barely moving. her breathing is more steady." "yoongi, he's not a healer." seulgi groans into her hands, her eyes catching a flash of white protruding from you as chan runs his hand down your back. she watches as he helps you peel your jacket off, your baby pink shirt transparent from the sheen of your sweat soaking through.
"maybe not for us, but for her." yoongi mumbles, seeing chan swipe your hair away from your neck, his lips pursed as he blows cool air against your skin. your groan is one of relief as he rocks you, and seulgi glances at her husband, swallowing thickly. "they're so rare, yoongi. there hasn't been one in this dimension in three hundred and twenty five years."
"i think we may have another on our hands." yoongi smiles widely as you slowly prop yourself up on your elbow, chan's worried eyes scanning your face for distress. you make a noise of disgust, your glow returning green steadily as chan helps you sit up. "what happened? ugh, i'm all sweaty."
glancing at your hands, you see them glowing indigo as it spreads up your body. you turn, seeing the master sorcerers staring at you from the doorway. grimacing, you glimpse at chan, who is looking at you intently. "hey, you alright?" his hand is holding your hip, and your frown falters as you look into his eyes. they're glowing bright as he looks you over. "what happened to your eyes?" your voice is raspy, and he looks away, shrugging.
"i'm not sure. they started changing last night." he swallows, and you shudder as indigo engulfs you entirely. "they look…pretty."
he snorts, shaking his head. "you might want to button up your shirt." feeling your cheeks burn, your fingers fumble with the buttons when you feel seulgi's cool hand on your wrist. "wait."
letting her lay you back, you miss chan's warmth as he slips off the bed, lingering from a few feet away as she opens your shirt. her eyes widen as she quickly beckons her husband over. his eyes snake down your torso, and his eyes glint with green as he meets seulgi's. they're silent, their faces moving as they communicate.
"y/n?" dr. kang's voice is low as she runs her hand through your mussed curls, and you meet her line of vision. her eyes are soft, staring at your torso. "y/n, do you know the history of psychosomatic healers?"
raising a brow, you nod your head. "yeah, they're the rarest of the healing trifecta. there hasn't been one in this dimension since 1699, and even then there's only seven recorded cases because they're so difficult to pinpoint at commencement." dr. min steps forward, noticing chan's eyes glued to the floor as dr. kang examines you further.. "y/n, i'd like to try something, if you don't mind." nodding, you allow dr. kang to take your arm in her hand, pulling your sleeve off your shoulder. 
with a quick swipe of her nails, you're bleeding. you gape at her, a scoff flying from your lips when chan looks up, the sound tearing him from his thoughts. "are you serious, seulgi?" you push her away, flickering orange and dr. min beckons chan forward. "touch her, chan."
taking a deep breath, chan gets closer to you, his nose scrunching at the blood seeping into your shirt. he takes your hand in his, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin. you look away from your shoulder, zeroing in on the subtle touch of affection when a white glow catches everyone's eyes. tugging at your shirt sleeve, seulgi reveals a clean shoulder, no injury visible.
"a psychosomatic healer can only heal those they love." she states, her eyes boring into chan's as he tries to tug his hand away, but you only use it as leverage to sit up. "what the fuck are you guys on about?" "there's no way you're that dumb, y/n." seulgi snorts, her manicured fingernail pointing at your chest. "i don't know how he did it, and i don't think we'll ever know. the curse the coven set upon you has been lifted by him." you look down — the raised welt where your scar once was has dissipated. widening your eyes, you peel the shoulder of your shirt down, the formerly scarred skin now smooth. your fingers tremble as you run them over your soft flesh, feeling the sting of tears forming. you can feel the burn of a sob in your throat as chan releases your hand, stepping back as you process.
the burning of his gaze, of his skin on yours, of your chest in his presence. the ache you felt in your soul yesterday as his lips brushed your neck with every roll of his hips, the way his answers confused you. the anger you felt while walking to class, at not being able to decipher him.
the way his angel eyes held the sun, the moon, and the stars. the way worry creases his brow though relief has washed over his frame, the way you're itching to hold him close, and never, ever let go.
it all makes sense.
"we'll give you both a moment." the master sorcerers bow their heads as they back out of the room, dr. min closing the door behind him. you sit in silence, feeling sticky and gross and overwhelmed.
"you're in love with me?!" you shriek, and chan throws up his hands in defense. "i thought we already knew this, why are we screaming?!" you swat his arm, and a nervous laugh bubbles up his throat. flopping back down onto the gurney, you dramatically cover your eyes with your arm, sighing. "now i have to cherish this, and we're probably going to get married and have kids and all that shit. are you serious? are you serious." "y/n…" you stand up, pacing back and forth in front of him, your hands weaving through your hair to soothe the onsetting migraine at the information. "how are you not freaking out, chan? you just found out you're one of the rarest healers in the trifecta, and not to mention the first in over three centuries! are you shitting me right now?" "y/n?"
you're not listening as you continue to ramble, pacing a hole into the floor when he grabs your shoulder, pulling you to him. taking both your hands in his, he looks you in the eyes. "you're spiraling." 
huffing, you nibble on your lower lip. "what happens now, chan?"
his smile is warm, it's comforting, it's making your stomach flip as he pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. "i don't know. isn't that the beauty of it all, though? not knowing where you end up?"
pouting, you rest your head on his shoulder, allowing his warmth to seep into your skin. "i've never felt this, chan. i don't know what it's like to be lost, i've always had my answers." you can feel the vibrations of his chest as he laughs, his hand coming to stroke your hair gently.
"that's okay, it'll be like the blind leading the blind. for now, we can just focus on…us? maybe go on a date, have dinner…" his voice is soft as you look up to him, his eyes already scanning your face for any hint of rejection. "unless you don't want to." you do, of course you do.
"i'm all sweaty, and gross. we've had a revelation about your purpose in this world, your eyes are a different color, and you want to focus on us?" your voice is laced with incredulity, a hint of amusement peeking through as it tugs at your lips. "i have my whole life to focus on other things. when you can't find a piece of a puzzle, you pick another part to focus on, do you not? i have that answer, that piece now, but i'm already figuring this part out." squeezing your shoulder, he places a chaste kiss on your hairline, your nose scrunching.
"why did you come with me?" you poke his chest, and he smirks. "yesterday or today?"
gaping, you land a soft smack to his chest, his squeaky laughter filling your ears as your cheeks heat. "chan! not funny!" "sorry, i'm sorry! i saw an opportunity, i took it. but, i was worried about you." he starts, taking a piece of your hair between his fingers. "i saw how angry you looked before minnie spoke to you, and before you looked at me. you started looking faint when we met eyes, and i was…i was scared that something might happen to you and that i wouldn't be able to apologize for potentially overstepping boundaries, or ruining whatever little game we have going on."
"you couldn't ruin whatever this is even if you tried." you scoff, your words tumbling out before you can process them. "i've never felt anything this intense before in my entire life. my ears started ringing when i touched your chest on tuesday, here." you splay your fingers on his hoodie, in the same place.
"i couldn't hear a thing. that was me, the blockage, i was basically hearing myself. if we didn't have that moment, if you hadn't let me in, none of this would have happened." you speak softly, taking his hands in yours, his eyes glassy as he looks into yours. your smile is gentle, and he can feel his stomach flutter as you lean closer. "and i'm so glad it did. despite this whole day being so weird, despite the coven probably burning holes into the back of my head right now from hell right now, and despite the tears i can see about to spill out of your eyes, nothing could ruin this. okay?" he looks away, nibbling on his lip. your thumb strokes his cheek, catching a few stray tears as you make him face you. vision blurring, but you can see him clearer than ever.
"okay?" you insist, and he nods. "okay."
"good." pulling him towards you, you crash your lips to his, feeling your heart beating in your ears. your arms cross over his shoulders, his hands finding home on your bare waist, the kiss becoming heated. parting his lips, your tongue snakes its way in, a soft groan from chan as he pushes you back, your knees hitting the gurney. 
"not in here, guys." dr. kang's voice echoes in the room, and you spring apart like teenagers. wiping at your lips, you watch as chan grabs your discarded jacket, and his bag. outstretching his hand to you, you take it, letting him rush the both of you towards the door. quickly bowing to the master sorcerers, you giggle as the cool december air hits your chest.
"yeah, y/n! nice titties, girl!" you hear a holler from down the hall, your eyes catching a glimpse of minnie's teal hair. you smile widely, waving as chan continues, a blush coating his cheeks as you begin to float behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
"where are we going?" you mumble in his ear, and he shivers. "to yours. i need to show you how much you mean to me." you let the butterflies bounce around in your stomach, knowing exactly what was coming your way.
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friday – january 08.
your relationship with chan had become the talk of the wizard world. several words were thrown your way, many to your detriment – but you chose to focus on 'love epiphany' and 'anomalies made to traverse together.'
he naturally passed your class with flying colors, what more could you do when he literally discovered himself? the students deemed it completely fair, with only yugyeom choosing to retake your course because he felt like he didn't really do what was necessary. mornings were filled with the buzzing of your phone – the students had made a group chat and continuously badgered you with memes, and mingyu with his graduation photos.
whereas, chan's mornings were filled with you, his phone long put on silent. your soft hair tickling his neck, only for your gentle lips to place chaste kisses along his jaw as he awoke. your warm leg draped over his waist, your knee teasing his crotch so early was something he'd never get used to. your arm, propping you up once he lazily peels an eye open, closing it the moment he sees your beaming smile, a blush coating his cheeks.
"do you always stare at me when i sleep?" he mumbles, his fingers dipping under the hem of your sleep shorts. "do birds fly?" "you're a creep, you know that?" laughing, he lets you hold his eyes open with your fingers, the indigo glow of them making you glow brighter in turn. that was what it meant, after all – the subzero color now warm, as you illuminated the room with your love for chan. "yeah? well you're creeping your fingers into my panties, so maybe shut up."
your lips are addicting, he could never get enough of them as you brush them against him. both sets, of course.
kidding. sort of. not at all. he loves you, okay? that's all that matters.
"you should check your email, channie." you murmur against his neck, and he nods his head, watching as you try not to smile. "oh i should, should i?" ignoring the raise of his eyebrow, you reach for chan's phone, plopping it on his bare chest. chan lolls his head back, hands relocating to your hips as he pulls you on top of him. your cheeks heat at the soft love bites on his pec, but shake it away as his voice snakes into your head
"you seem a little too excited, baby." he ruffles your hair as he unlocks his phone, and you just bite your lip as he scans the screen. "tell me, sorcerer, what's the news?" your voice bounces off the walls, with chan just squeezing your hip in response.
dearest bang chan,
it is our honor here at the spellbound institute of magic to let you know that you have been chosen to be published in this year's edition of the spellbound sorcerer. such an honor is only awarded to those with extraordinary skill. 
we've also made the unanimous decision for you to speak at this year's annual convention, taking over the healing trifecta's booth. more information will be provided as the date approaches.
we look forward to seeing you and professor y/l/n there.
signed,
dr. kang seulgi
dr. min yoongi
master sorcerers
spellbound institute of magic
his eyes flicker to yours, your grin so wide, it's infectious. "i'm getting published." "you're getting published!" you cheer loudly, and chan feels his cheeks heat as you pepper his face in kisses. "you're getting published, baby! we have to celebrate! let's ask your parents to dinner, yeah? we can get a cabin for the weekend, so they don't have to drive home so late."
he forgets how you pried the truth about his parents out of him, but he's almost sure it was last tuesday when you made him beg for you to sit on his face. almost sure, but he doesn't really care anymore. after all, he'd warmed up to you.
"i'm so proud of you, channie." your voice is gentle as you swipe your thumbs under his eyes, and he nods, burying his face in your chest as embarrassment spreads in his. "hey, you can't hide from me. what happened to the praise kink? don't you want to know how good you're doing?" "i told you that in confidence!" he swats at your leg as he nestles into your laughter. "i know! it's just me and you here, what's the problem?! let me praise you!"
"never. come on, let's read my stupid essay." he throws the comforter off his legs, and you huff as you climb off his lap. sitting up on the edge of the bed, you lean against his back, your arms hooked around his broad shoulders. the same ones full of your nail marks, a few imprints of your teeth scattered around them. "i graded it, i already read it." "well, praise me while i read it." he snorts, and you press a soft kiss to his shoulder. "mm, okay. i'll take what i can get."
bang chan
professor y/l/n
identity theory
if you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it. – tony stark, spider-man: homecoming (2017)
the fall was slow, like liebesträume.
feeling lost is an understatement.
i've been lost before – in grocery stores, misunderstanding assignments. i've even been lost in the woods before, riddled with anxiety standing within the trees. so uniform, full of belonging. those trees know where their purpose lies.
me? i've been wandering this world not knowing where my purpose lies, what i'm meant to be doing with said unrealized purpose. this is a feeling of disorientation, isolation, off course. it's all the same anyway, isn't it?
i spent years looking for answers – from the day i was dropped off at the academy to the day i met professor y/l/n. life was well sullied with fear, a feeling of desperation as i felt my time running low. i willingly put myself in danger, hopping from dimension to dimension with the aid of some friends to find something to ease my worries, and came up empty. answers will find you, not you them.
another thing i failed to consider was that i perhaps had my answer all along. from the natural instinct to protect and take care of the people i hold close, to the agony of being away from my family – all i needed was a catalyst. something to throw me even more off course, even more confusing than what life had come to be before her.
professor y/l/n has brought me to life. truly, i could never say enough to express the appreciation i have for her, but i will attempt it any chance i get. an enigma, an anomaly, a paradigm – she is far, far more than these words could begin to define. she's selfless, she's full of light and i could never understand that. my admiration for her goes well beyond this lifetime, and like the praying mantis, she was a beacon of guidance.
her story is full of twists and turns as she allowed me to indulge. from the flickering of the glow around her, to understanding that only the deepest of her indigo hue glows for me, i'm honored to say the least. i will never get enough of her story, of her truths, of her. the idea that love lies in the hands of the beholder is entirely true in this case. to be loved is to be known, and she read me far beyond my wildest dreams the moment her golden cast laid upon me. 
eckhart tolle says that, to love is to recognize yourself in another. i have never experienced something as deep as this, nor have i ever seen myself in y/n – and i'm glad i don't. my insecurities, my flaws, what i dislike about myself, are my own. however, i know she sees something i don't, and i trust that. i trust her, with my entire being. without her, i'd have no clue of my purpose. to younger me, who is still wondering the answer to that, i propose this.
your purpose is to love. love beyond your ways, love selflessly. love selfishly, like it's all you can do. like it's all you're capable of, because the moment you lay eyes on y/n? you will see, it is. loving her is all you can do. life without love is meaningless, life without her is hopeless.
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temptaetions © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.
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taglist: @cookiesandcreammy | @alician87
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thexianzhoujade · 2 months
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「 scary dog privileges | kiss (don't tell!) event 」 blade & cyno x gn!reader | fluff, established relationships | event entry. ↳ ohhh zenith~ (@lovingluxury), i'm your secret admirer for this year's kiss (don't tell!) event !! you get my very first attempt at blade, i'm so sorry but i'm so glad i got to practise him !! happy valentines my lovely, i hope this year treats you how you deserve it !! ↳ shoutout to my oc chrysalis for being on my mind for the entirety of blade’s part
the jade's guidelines | genshin m.list | honkai m.list | kiss (don't tell!) m.list
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BLADE calls falling for you "a mistake," one that he made quite boldly. nonetheless, he only ever grumbles this under his breath and never actually aloud - he can't bear to see that faint grimace of hurt on your face. no matter how many times he says he doesn't care, he quite clearly does.
it's a well known fact that's not into all of the lovey dovey romance stuff you rope him into with a wide smile on your face, tugging his calloused hands in the direction of another pretty scenic backdrop for a couple selfie or when you place matching items into his rough palms. behind closed doors, he finds the pads of his fingertips tracing over the photo or item with some 'annoying' sense of longing.
blade is scary to a lot of people. he knows he is, it's unmistakeable when people cower at the sight of him. their eyes shrink in fear, lips trembling when they can barely stutter out words in his presence. this is precisely why he loves to loom behind you, even when you're unaware of him being there - in his defence, he's quite quiet when he tries - because the mere sight of him scares people off. you want to scold him but you're thankful for this newfound privilege when you're stuck in uncomfortable situations, regardless you know that blade wouldn't bat an eyelid and would simply ignore you.
he undeniably has a soft spot for you - this "mistake" of his. the other stellaron hunters pick up on it fairly quick, smug looks on their faces as they share glances every time the two of you are together around them. blade wasn't sure you'd get along with the stellaron hunters at all, can you blame him? they're an organisation that isn't exactly in anyone's good books. yet you seem to bond well with kafka and silver wolf... what a shame for him. unfortunately, this means he's prone to hearing silver wolf and kafka taunt him about this little soft spot of his; "what's wrong bladie? you're going soft," kafka chides with a sly grin, only to hear a disapproving grunt from the tall man.
in private, blade's personality doesn't change all that much. he's still grumbly, his scary demeanour hanging over his head like a guillotine thanks to his mara but there's a slight shift in his behaviour. he likes to lay with you, not that he'd ever admit that (aeons forbid if he did, he'd never hear the end of it.) in fact, it's his favourite thing to do, especially after a stressful mission.
when things get tough and the mara hurts just a tad too much, blade will always find a comfort in laying his head gently on your chest or your lap, regardless of what you're doing just so that you run your hands through his dark hair. just so he can feel the tips of your fingers rub against his scalp, feel the way you braid little - or big - braids into his long hair. he stays silent as you comb through his black locks, brushing out every tangle so gently he barely feels it.
he may claim that getting too close to you was "a mistake" but by the aeons, he knows damn well that he's lying to himself.
CYNO didn't intend to fall for you. it had been a mere accident but he'd never let the words 'mistake' fall from his lips, celestia forbid he even uttered 'accident' either. tighnari unfortunately had heard him say 'blessing' a tad too many times, however.
the general mahamatra... plenty of people in sumeru are relatively scared of him. why wouldn't they be? he's obsessed with his work, heavily devoted to his job of chasing down criminals and enforcing justice. even if they don't fear him, people most certainly know cyno - whether it be his name, his looks, his accomplishments or merely his rank title. despite this scary demeanour everyone sees when he's working, cyno really isn't as scary as people make out him to be.
cyno is incredibly self aware of people's thoughts and words about him. he knows damn well that people find him scary - that's the whole point of his comedy act and awful jokes he throws out without a second thought, his facial expression still as stern as ever as if he doesn't even find his own jokes funny. he tries not to let it affect him, in fact he's adapted; he'll use it to protect you.
don't get him wrong, he's perfectly capable at protecting you without instilling fear into the people bothering you but combat is tedious and you've scolded him many times for attempting to use hermanubis on some poor soul who rubbed him the wrong way. what's more better than looming like a threat, red eyes piercing into their very soul until they take the hint? sometimes he doesn't even need to go that far - the sight of him sends people running, they're not particularly looking for trouble with the general mahamatra after all.
despite trying to figure out how people work so he can soften the aura around him when people get too tense in his presence, cyno doesn't completely understand the lovey dovey things you rope him into. he understands to an extent, picking up the things you love the most so that he can do when you least expect it; he understands that it means a lot to you and that's all he cares about. you.
and undeniably so, he's ten times less 'scary' in private. kaveh and tighnari can't help but taunt him when he's brushing his tanned thumb over your knuckles, pressing slightly chapped lips to your skin in delicate kisses - what do you mean that's the general mahamatra? they'll grin but secretly, they're happy that cyno has someone that brings this side of him out.
one of cyno's favourite things to do outside of catching criminals so that they may face their judgement for their crimes (other than tcg...) is cook for you. when i say cook, i mean actual meals and not the rations he eats while he's out in the scorching desert or deep in the apam woods on dirt paths that have been worn into the grass from centuries of people walking through. he loves it, the idea of being able to provide something to you that he knows you enjoy and honestly, he's not a bad cook. however, you regret introducing him to non-native sumeru recipes when he mutters "wanna hear a joke about pizza?" oh no. even if you say no, he'll be quick to add "nevermind, it's too cheesy."
you're quite literally the most important thing to him other than work and if he has to use means he's not fond of just to protect that loving comfort you shelter his cracked heart with, then so be it.
⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹
© thexianzhoujade 2024. | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my works on any form of media.
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chiscribbs · 10 months
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[***NOTE: Leo's design here is no longer accurate, link to the updated version.]
I know there are already a lot of "the brothers are separated at a young age and raised by different people" AUs floating around, so this isn't especially original, but- I've yet to see one with this particular parent-child arrangement, so...
Here’s some rough concept art for what I’m calling the “Grown Apart AU”  Which I've also been affectionately referring to as the "Everyone's a Disney Protagonist" AU for quite some time... you'll see why.
Here’s the gist: Basically, Splinter is only able to save Mikey and Leo from the lab explosion - Raph is immediately picked up by Huginn and Muninn and handed back over to Draxum; Donnie is lost mid-escape and later found by Big Mama's goons, who show up for Lou but bring Don back with them instead when Lou is nowhere to be found.
Details of each turtles’ upbringings (as well as how/when they meet April) below the cut:  
RAPH
Draxum raised Raph to be everything he originally intended the turtles to be: a ruthless, obedient super soldier whose sole purpose in life is to protect the Yokai by eliminating the human threat. Draxum taught him to hate humankind and trained him up to be virtually undefeatable in battle. However...because Draxum isn't the most attentive parent, most of the caretaking for Raph was actually provided by Huginn and Muninn. And the two little well-meaning gargoyles - mostly unintentionally and outside of their master's knowledge - wound up nurturing a much softer and friendlier side to their supposedly bloodthirsty warrior-in-the-making. As a result, Raph has essentially been living a double-life under Draxum’s ownership; playing the part of a perfect soldier for his father/general, who he's determined not to disappoint, and only feeling free to be himself when he's alone (or with H&M.)
Raph has always known that there were supposed to be other mutants like himself but grew up believing that he's the only one who survived the experiment, making him the only one left in existence (until Draxum’s oozesquitos create more, that is). Even though he had H&M to keep him company, being an only child could still be pretty lonely sometimes, so Raph would often imagine what having brothers - other mutants like himself that he could have grown up alongside - would have been like.
Raph is the only one of the turtles that knows his human DNA comes from Lou Jitsu - just like Draxum, though, he has no idea that Splinter is actually Lou Jitsu.
DONNIE
Donnie had a posh and cushy upbringing in Big Mama's hotel - she raised him as her own son(unaware that he’s actually Lou’s)/apprentice and uses his technological talents to aid her multiple businesses: he supplies new weapons and battlegrounds for the Battle Nexus, as well as automated assistants and security for her hotel, and even pitches in with her more off-the-record dealings that last one being without Donnie’s knowledge. Big Mama's kept him pretty much wrapped around her little finger; praising him for his intelligence and usefulness whenever he does a good job or makes her nice things. When he hasn’t, however, she’s a less-than-affectionate mother. Donnie will do absolutely anything it takes to impress and earn approval from her.
Donnie is largely sheltered and knows very little about the world outside of the hotel - especially the human world, about which most of his knowledge comes from what he finds on the internet. He doesn't even know that he's a mutant, believing himself to be just some uncommon type of yokai, since that's all he knows. He’s not allowed to fraternize freely with the hotel guests and has a somewhat contentious relationship with Big Mama’s assistant, whom he’s always viewed as competition for her affection. The closest thing he's had to a friend is S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N, whom Donnie built to have someone to talk to (besides Big Mama's boring, no-nonsense henchmen).
Don finally met April when he was about 11 yrs old; he secretly sent one of his spy bots out to explore the human city and she intercepted it. The two have been best friends and stayed in-touch with each other online ever since - April being unaware that Donnie isn't human.
Donnie knows of Lou Jitsu purely because he was Big Mama’s favorite champion in the history of the Battle Nexus - he idolizes him, having watched recordings of many of his fights, and dreams of one day fighting in the Battle Nexus himself (if Big Mama would allow that).
Leo & Mikey
Leo and Mikey were still rescued by Lou/Splinter and brought up in the NY sewers. Splinter felt extremely guilty for not managing to save the other two baby turtles and, for the first few years following the incident, spent much of his time searching for them. Once Leo was old enough, Splinter would start leaving him and Mikey in the Lair while he searched. He eventually gave up his search, presuming them both dead or lost for good, and resigned to keeping the remaining two as safe as possible - teaching them how to defend themselves and warning them never to leave the sewers unless he was with them.
Leo and Mikey were inseparable as kids - they would do everything together, refusing to even sleep in separate rooms until they were too big to fit in one bed anymore. Leo took his job as Mikey's big brother very seriously and always tried his best to protect him, even when they were simply playing games with each other. As they got older, though, the two brothers began to drift apart - Leo started to feel a little smothered; craving more freedom to do what he wanted when he wanted, without the older sibling responsibilities hanging over him 24/7. And Mikey started feeling like he couldn't go/do anything without his brother's judgement or approval, resenting the idea that he needed constant protection.
Finally, when he was about 13, Leo secretly snuck out of the lair one night to check out the city by himself and get a little taste of independence. After that one trip, it quickly became a habit and he soon began making regular “secret” trips into the city.
Somewhere along the way, his innocent quests for freedom and fun grew into opportunities to stir up some trouble - Leo eventually met and became involved with a group of yokai teens with whom he would pull pranks and play jokes on the city's human occupants (harmless ones...usually. They just enjoy causing a little mischief.)
Mikey, having to figure out other ways to keep himself occupied since his brother is usually by himself or busy with his new friends, has picked up a multitude of different skills and hobbies, trying absolutely everything he can get his hands on. His main hobby is spray-painting, which he uses to spruce any wall he can find with his own personal touch. By the time he's 13, much of underground New York has been covered by his handiwork.  Mikey eventually finds out about Leo’s secret outings and follows him when he leaves one night - the two end up meeting April, who's never seen mutants before (having only talked to Donnie online and not seen his face) and promptly freaks out before realizing they're not dangerous. The three soon become friends, too, and April starts making plans to introduce the boys to Donnie - knowing he could use more friends besides S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. and herself.
The four brothers' fates finally collide with one another when an escapee from Draxum's lab - Mayhem - shows up out of the blue and catapults Mikey and Leo to the Hidden City, where they have an unexpected reunion with their eldest brother.
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queer-tech-seer · 1 year
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tip for those who struggle with building up their grimoire:
I'm rebuilding/reworking my own grimoire atm and, in poking around for inspiration here and there, I've seen a bit of a trend regarding indexes and tables of contents.
A lot of posts for Beginner Witches have looong lists of things you Absolutely Must(TM) include in your grimoire. These read almost like a super extensive syllabus that covers what seems like every topic under the sun, and are, quite frankly, completely unnecessary.
This is a friendly reminder that you don't have to include anything in your grimoire that you don't want to.
Not interested in astrology? No problem. Don't include it.
Don't work with herbs or crystals? Why spend time writing notes on them, then?
Don't celebrate Wiccan holidays? No need to include info on the Wheel of the Year.
etc etc.
Part of the reason why I never finished my last couple grimoires were the fact that I felt pressured to write extensive entries on things I wasn't interested in, or on things I already knew and thought redundant to include. I had dozens upon dozens of unfinished pages, and the knowledge that I was expected to write things on each of them filled me with such anxiety and dread that I just... stopped opening my notebook up altogether.
This time around, however, I'm taking a different approach to my grimoire. I have limited time and energy to commit to my craft, and I'd rather not spend it on shit I didn't really care about. In my new grimoire, I have not and never intend to include notes on the 'basics', or overviews of every pantheon and every deity, or summaries of the different types of witches or spells or what have you. I'm including only what I think is important to me.
Your grimoire is supposed to be your personal journal, documenting not only the things you've learned but the things you're actually interested in. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do research -- it's very important to expand your education, especially regarding different worldviews and outlooks to your own. But!!
Don't feel like you've got to write an encyclopaedia, or produce a textbook for future generations to consult, because that isn't the point.
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rainbow-scarab · 10 months
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Hallownest Symbols, the Ancient Civilization, and the Pale King
Sooo. Since I made my post on Hallownest symbols I've had some new insights.
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The Hallownest symbol, with its lined oval and three sets of wings, predates the kingdom as it was under the Pale King and White Lady. It can be found on arcane eggs.
Lemm, on arcane eggs: This civilisation may claim itself the first, but something else did exist within this place before Hallownest. Each egg offers a narrow glimpse into that forgotten age.
It's not just the arcane eggs though. The symbol can also be found in the Abyss, on the lighthouse. Sorta.
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You see, the lighthouse isn't just one structure--it's two. It's an older, crumbling structure....and then the new shiny construction that the Pale King added on top.
And looking at the older structure, the platforms themselves have the Hallownest symbol on it. Oval with wings.
Another detail I've noticed in the Abyss is that this structure isn't the only one. It can be seen in the background around the void sea:
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Just, further cementing the thought that the old crumbling building beneath the shiny new top is not a construction under the Pale King, but instead something quite ancient. Just one of many buildings, a conveniently tall structure for the Pale King to repurpose into a lighthouse.
So what does this mean?
Various sources in the game point to the Pale King having portrayed himself as the creator of Hallownest. Lemm, in his quote above. And some more examples:
Lore tablet in King's Pass: Higher beings, these words are for you alone. Beyond this point you enter the land of King and Creator. Step across this threshold and obey our laws. Bear witness to the last and only civilisation, the eternal Kingdom. Hallownest
Hunter's Journal, on wingmoulds: The bugs of Hallownest believed that their King created this world and everything in it. For what purpose, I wonder? Were his subjects companions, or toys, or children? Such a mind seems unknowable.
The developer notes in the game also indicate that the Pale King wanted to get rid of other gods:
The moth tribe were (perhaps) descended from Radiance. However, the King convinced them somehow to seal Radiance away. I guess so he could rule Hallownest with his singular vision, as a monarch/god with no other gods.
The dev notes are not canon and it's clear that they were never intended to be seen by others. But I think there's something to be said at least for him attempting a "singular vision". Uniting Hallownest under one rule, portraying himself as creator, creating a certain order. Some more quotes:
Bardoon: For quiet retreat did I climb up here, away from spitting creatures. Ormmph... Yes. High up. Away from simple minds, lost to light. Theirs is a different kind of unity. Rejection of the Wyrm's attempt at order.
Mask Maker, reacting to Ghost having King's Brand: No bug has ever laid claim to this whole. Even the beasts knew their limits and bound their realm at Nest's edge. It is the ancient caste that made attempt at such vast rule. Hallownest's ruin reflects well those fared attempts.
I believe Mask Maker is referring to the Ancient Civilization having attempted to rule over all of Hallownest. There's a possibility they're referring to Hallownest under the Pale King, as "ancient" does not necessarily mean what fans call the Ancient Civilization (and indeed most instances of the word "ancient" refer to Hallownest under the Pale King). But "attempts" being in the plural, I think Mask Maker intends to draw a parallel here between the two civilizations.
Speaking of King's Brand...
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I believe now this is the best symbol of the Pale King we have. His original symbol.
As I noted in my first post on Hallownest symbols, the Hallownest seal seems the most associated with the Pale King when it has the crown on it. And the few actual depictions of him, in statues, idols, and shrines, all have his crown, but lack wings. Save for the glowing silhouette of him in Ogrim's dream battle, there are no depictions of him with wings. He may lack wings entirely, or have some form of artificial wings.
In fact, I find it quite interesting how you can pick up monarch wings as an item.
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They are described by the game as being made of "ethereal matter". The game manual calls them "wings of a monarchfly". It's possible that the Pale King had such wings as seen here, not part of his original body, but made somehow.
And, just to look at the symbols again...
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If one were to superimpose the old Hallownest Seal from the time of the Ancient Civilization on top of the King's Brand, you'd get the current Hallownest Seal. Oval Bug body, wings, crown, and tail.
So, what I'm thinking, the impression that I'm getting....
The Pale King came to Hallownest. He saw all the evidence of the Ancient Civilization, which had already fallen. He took on bug form (which may have happened before or after he saw the symbol and other evidence of the ancient civ, but I have to wonder if witnessing Hallownest's history and symbols influenced even this decision to become small). He, for reasons beyond the purpose of this post, decided he wanted to rule Hallownest as king and "creator" (which again may or may not have been part of his decision to be reborn).
He established his kingdom. He took on aspects of preexisting Hallownest, essentially claiming the legacy of the Ancient Civilization as his own. He took on bug form, and gave himself wings, to match this old image, as if it was always about him.
He established his palace in the Ancient Basin. He had access to the Abyss, mostly closed off from the rest of the populace. He studied the void. But the bugs of the Ancient Civilization had a different attitude about void, as indicated by Lemm in the Hunter's Journal entry on the void idol:
Inspired or mad, those ancient bugs. They devoted their worship to no lord, or power, or strength, but to the very darkness itself.
The Pale King instead was worshipped as a god by his people. He instead treated the void as something to control. He studied it. He tested it. He created void constructs to guard his palace. He used it, to stake the future of his entire kingdom on.
I could go on and on about this. And I intend to. But this is as far as I will go in this post, meant to be an update to my last post on symbols. But, I already have a long post I put together months ago, didn't post, and just have to update with new thoughts. So hopefully, I'll be expanding on all the implications here for Hallownest history soon enough.
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cozymoko · 1 year
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What are some cute moment between sasuke and darling when they arnt on bad terms?also keep up the good work !
SWEET MOMENTS WITH YAN. SASUKE
Note: Thank you!
Pairing: Yandere! Sasuke x gender neutral! reader
Format: Headcanons, 2nd person
WARNING(S): slight yandere themes
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🍙 During his lengthy endeavors, you very rarely escape his thoughts. SASUKE has no need for little trinkets to remind him of his journeys but he thinks you might. Thus he spends a hefty amount on souvenirs just for you. The giddy expression on your face, when he gifts you a poorly wrapped necklace or tiny model of some sort turns him a very deep shade of pink.
🍙 SASUKE doesn’t often accompany you in many actions that isn't a peaceful walk around the village; well unless you ask him to. But when he does it's the most serene thing. Whether it be his fingers loosely intertwined with yours or an arm gently resting on your shoulders, he’s always holding you. It's honestly for his own pleasure but he swears it's so you don’t get lost. Pfft, who’s he kidding?
🍙 Truthfully a good listener. You could be rambling about God knows what for what seems to be hours on end, and SASUKE would listen all the same. And believe it or not, get actually gives good advice. He may be a stoic man, although he might be able to pull some sentiments out of his ass for your sake.
🍙 You may think he’s uninterested but it’s quite the opposite; he’s practically hanging onto every word. If you find yourself lost in thought, pondering your partners' interest, Sasuke will bring you right back. “You’re distracted.” He murmurs, gazing intently into your dazed orbs. “What’s caused your thoughts to drift?”
🍙 It's something he picked up from his late brother, but it remains one of his softer actions. When you do or say something dumb, SASUKE will flick you on the forehead. It's neither extremely light nor rough; it's just enough for you to cover his forehead and even shoot him a scowl. You’ll let him have it, it’s not every day you get to see him smile too peacefully.
🍙 On his few lazy days, THE UCHIHA can occasionally be found “sleeping in” (only for you). He’d nip and kiss your neck with no intentions of going any further. Your laughter is music to his ears; so merry and carefree. Try not to be too surprised when you finally see yourself in the mirror, red bruises sprinkled all across your neckline. Sasuke didn’t intend on seducing you, however, marking you wasn’t out of the question!
🍙 However that doesn’t mean his disfavored qualities have escaped him. Every night SASUKE will not fail to hold you close, possessively so, as he watches you slowly nod off to your fatigue. Times like these are always his favorite. Just being able to bask in your warmth and have you all to himself is like a dream come true. He won't allow anyone else to savor this image, not even in death.
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kalena-henden · 8 months
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Destined With You has me intrigued. There are things I like about it (mostly Rowoon and the mystery), things that annoy me (the bad co-workers), and things that confuse me. After 4 episodes, I finally feel like I'm starting to understand what the writer is trying to do.
However, Netflix strikes again with a generic drama title that is very confusing and doesn't capture the depth or meaning of the Korean title in the slightest. (Thank goodness Viki got Doom at Your Service first cause that title is fire, even if it's not literal. I'm still shaking my fist at Netflix naming very accurate Korean title, Forest of Secrets, the boring and bland non-specific Stranger. Just why?!)
The Korean title is 이 연애는 불가항력.
The first part 이 연애는 means 'this love'. But the final word is the Korean translation of the French law terminology 'force majeure' (aka major force) which they translate as 'irresistible force'. It's a clause that is commonly used in contracts that negates some or all of the terms of a contract when an 'act of God' occurs, like a natural disaster, which would make one or both parties unable to fulfill their responsibilities. This is interesting as it gives the real title multiple meanings.
The most literal translation would be 'This Love is a Force Majeure' referencing Shinyu's profession and him being a stickler for adhering exactly to the contract terms, including verbal contracts like the ones he has with the Hongjo.
The next translation is 'This Love is an Irresistible Force' which implies that this love is almost against their will. They can't help but fall for each other. Currently, we have a quite literal interpretation of this with Shinyu accidentally drinking the love potion and now having unwanted thoughts and emotions regarding Hongjo.
Another potential translation extrapolated out of force majeure is 'This Love is an Act of God'. This implies this love is outside of human control, like destiny created by God or gods, depending on your religion. This is where I think Netflix got their generic 'destined' title. Unfortunately that 'destined' title completely negates that this writer has our leads intentionally playing with words. Not only on a banter level but also testing the letter of the law with their verbal contracts, some which are intentionally made and others they've made unknowingly. Words carry weight in this drama; not just through their emotion or meaning but in a magically binding way.
What if casting the spells isn't enough to activate them? What if the spells need words of intent to activate them?
Even though Hongjo doesn't believe it yet, she is a shaman or witch. Her words alone opened the lock on the box that held the spell book. They weren't just any words; they were words that had deep intention attached to them. After day dreaming her crush was there for her in a time of need when she was home alone, she half pleads, 'Please, can you come?' A few days later, Jaekyung has moved into the first floor of the house she rents.
When Shinyu drinks the Love Potion, nothing happens. He treats her the same way he's been treating her when she barges into his office to try to take care of the person who ran into the flowered-potted median. Any discomfort he's showing can be attributed to the fact that he is the culprit who ruined the median she is ranting over. It does however remind him how dangerous his illness has become triggering his urgency to cast the Disease Curing Spell as soon as possible. It's not until after he sees that the Love Spell is missing from the book and tells her, 'Because if you get a boyfriend, it's thanks to me.' that he has his first heart-fluttering sign of love when she tries take the book from him. He doesn't seem to have any moral issues with her using the love spell and is even trying to take credit for it since he gave her the box. After he discovers that he mistakingly drank the love potion, he's only upset that he's the one who drank it instead of her intended target. But what if drinking the love potion wasn't enough? What if it needed to be activated by his words of intention? His intention was for her to get a boyfriend.
Old Shaman to Shinyu: 'You killed her. The owner of the bloody hand that caresses your cheek. Karma will swallow you and you will struggle in horrible pain. But all the pain and curses will end. Finally, the owner of the wooden box showed up.'
Now back to our title, 'This Love is a Force Majeure'. The longstanding family curse appears to have been caused by Shinyu killing someone in his past life and curses can be considered a contract that binds people to their bad fate. If a contract is made in perpetuity, maybe the only way out is a force majeure happening. Note that 'will swallow' and 'will struggle' are future tense, they hadn't happened yet. Karma definitely seemed to swallow him whole when he unknowingly drank the love potion. It's also interesting she said he will struggle in horrible pain. We've seen him in physical pain due to the curse, but what if mental and emotional pain are added on top of this due to the love potion. The majority of this show will likely be showing him struggling through these trials as he unpacks his past life to save his future. (Hopefully... *crosses fingers and side-eyes Heartbeat*)
It's unlikely that the Disease Curing Spell is enough. It might be able to cure him of the disease but only once the magical curse has been lifted. So both spells always needed to be cast in tandem to break his curse. It's not a coincidence that Shinyu was in extreme distress when he ran into the median that Hongjo had planted the flowers on at the exact same moment she was casting the Love Spell. It caused a ripple in their fate. The beginning jumpstart of their love which needs to grow strong enough to cause a force majeure to break the curse or curses. Since Hongjo may not just be lonely, but cursed with loneliness. The signs are there. Her family is all dead. She doesn't have a boyfriend. She doesn't seem to have close friends even though she's quite friendly. Shinyu suggested that she's the reason she is alone. The Old Shaman also pointedly laments that her god wouldn't allow her to be in a relationship. This story becomes richer if Hongjo has a bad fate to overcome for herself, not just to help the male lead overcome his, but one that must be overcome together.
I'll end this with a little poetic fun from Google translate and deleting the last Korean word in the title one syllable at a time.
이 연애는 불가항력 - this love is irresistible
이 연애는 불가항 - this love is inevitable
이 연애는 불가 - this love is impossible
이 연애는 불 - this love is fire
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nyanggk · 1 year
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FIRST CARESS: THE HIGH PRIESTS — s.jy & l.hs
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PAIRINGS sub!priest!jake x succubus!dom!reader! x sub!priest!heeseung
IDOLS FEATURED ENHYPEN jay, jake, heeseung
SYNOPSIS For a succubus, purity is something to be ashamed of. People naturally lust and it's the very reason why demons like you have come to surface and now, you're about to show this town's priests' that no one can resist the temptation to sin.
GENRE smut with plot, supernatural, medieval au, demon au
WARNINGS explicit sexual content; non-con that turns into dub-con, threesome, dom/sub dynamics, corruption kink, oral sex, cock stepping, footjob, handjob, making, mouth/face fucking, both boys are under the influence
mocking/disregard for christian belief, sex with a demon, both boys slip in and out of consciousness
wc. 13k
n. although this is a given, this fic is made under the impression to satisfy readers only. this is in no way shape or form a statement of what someone should do in real life nor do I support these kinds of actions (non-con) and I suggest that everyone reads all the warnings carefully. thank you also to jinnie (@heeseongism) for the concept ♡
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As a demon who feeds on humans' sexual desires, should innocence be something to be proud of?
Man would associate innocence with purity, while those who dwell into their lustful desires would be damned as tainted and therefore, shunned by society. Innocence is a bar that man themselves have set impossibly high, making it impossible for even the most devoted worshiper to reach. It seems as if even man have set themselves up to fail, and yet, despite this known unreachable standard, they pay no heed and continue to preach for someone perfect.
Supposedly, purity is the standard for both men and women— though it seems as if the rule is only strongly implemented towards the latter. They say that if you're pure, that means you are just, meaning you are closer to God on a spiritual level.
Over the course of numerous millenniums, man would continue to struggle to meet this ideal, not realizing that it isn't something that could be achieved. We're raised by our parents to be caring, kind, and untainted while they remain the opposite. It's quite the contrast, really. Those who have breaded due to their uncontainable want for intercourse, are those who set impending rules to keep their child from sinning. However, despite their best efforts to raise a child without blotches, the holy one above tests their fate relentlessly on end by sending them challenges, and you're one of them.
Having already reached your adult form as a succubus, otherwise a demon of sex and lust, ten years ago, you’ve gathered sufficient knowledge when it comes to the art of hunting down your prey. Some would argue that you’re a master at what you do; you know how to act, what draws them in, what they’re most tempted to do, and how much of them you can take in order for them to continue living and for you to quench your thirst. You don’t intend to kill them, but sometimes, it just can’t be helped when you're at the brink of death due to hunger.
It’s you over anyone else, and really, what’s so bad about having a fuckton of sex?
"God!" The boy beneath you screams out in pleasure when you bring yourself down ruthlessly, letting your cunt suck the whole length of his dick. 
It almost makes you cackle at how ironic that word is when applied to your situation. You're a succubus, a demon who feeds on lust, yet here he is, screaming for God like you aren't giving him the time of his life. You want to slap the soul out of his body. How dare he preach for God when you're riding his dick better than any angel can? It's quite disrespectful if you're being honest, however, you choose not to say anything, knowing that if this town finds out you're anything but human, you're going to be tied up and beheaded.
It's been quite long since you've last conducted a feeding session, and your mana feels like it's getting drained and replenished with each strong bounce you make on his lap, along with the pleasure his dick feels rubbing against your g-spot. Usually, you'd have no problem doing everything, as it allows you to satisfy yourself without having to wait for your food to learn what you like, but with your mana drained, a light sheen of sweat is seeping against your skin. The boy doesn't mind though; if he's being honest, it makes you all the more hotter in his eyes.
"Aww, Jay," You coo while dragging your nails down his broad and sweaty chest in a teasing manner, sending the boy into a deeper frenzy as goosebumps rise on his olive skin as he watches streaks of red appear on his skin. "Too good?"
The said boy releases a whimper when he feels your pussy clench down on his whole length, prodding him to answer. "Yes, shit! You take me so well. "You're too good." He manages to blurt out before squeezing his eyes shut and his head falling back onto the mattress like he's lost all control over his body—which is true.
Never in Jay's life did he think that any girl could take his whole length inside their mound. Everyone always struggled to even get more than half of him in, and yet, here you are, doing the impossible. He met you at a sketchy alleyway on his way home from work selling fruits at the marketplace. Truthfully, it seemed as if you came out of nowhere because the moment his eyes turned to look elsewhere, your figure leaning against the concrete was there to greet him. He remembers the way his eyes just never seemed to stop raking over your body and how every curve and dip made him want more. It was as if he was being put into a trance because he just couldn't take his eyes off of you, completely ignoring his family that awaits him in their small, run-down cottage hidden in the woods.
Sooner or later, you approach him, making sure to jut your hips with every step towards him, the scent of your arousal filling Jay's nose from a meter away. Jay breaks out of his trance when he realizes that you're grinning at him, clumsily introducing himself to you, and then the rest has brought you to where you are now.
Your insides just feel amazing, like it was made just for him and his dick alone— it isn't. He swore when he first thrusted his dick inside you a few hours ago, that he would come on the spot. There's just something different about the way you move, the way you feel, and the way you talk that makes it seem as if your whole body was made for him. His wife could never satisfy him the way you do and it's not her fault. She doesn't know her husband is a cheat with a huge dick that can hardly fit inside a human's vagina without it hitting their womb.
And yes, "a few hours ago," meaning that ever since the two of you met, you've been going at it like rabbits in heat. You have no idea where the sudden drive to feed came from, as usually, a minute of sex would do to quench your thirst however, today, you've been craving more and sadly, Jay's having a hard time at giving it to you.
"I'm— ahh, fuck!" Jay's whole body seems to shake as he gives you his fourth climax. His throat has now grown sore and dry from all of the screaming, groaning, and moaning he's done in the past few hours and to be frank, he's already reaching his limit. So, when you tilt your head to the side and start bouncing on his length once again, he screams in protest as he digs his fingers onto your hips to stop your actions. "You're a fucking demon." 
You only laugh at his joke, finding it humorous given how ironic it is. "Maybe I am." You smirk.
Copying your actions, Jay chuckles before shaking his head. "I really can't keep going, babe." He announces. "I'm gonna pass out."
"I'm not stopping until I get what I want."
And that's just what you did, except you may have sucked all the life force out of the poor boy.
Shame, he would've made an adorable pet.
Though you've already taken all of what he had, you were still starving, craving for more because one isn't enough; you need more.
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If God is the creator of everything, then does that mean that he made your kind? To what? Test man's dedication and beliefs? If so, then his children are failing.
Walking past the small wooden entrance of the church, the loud clicks of your boots' heels echo every time they meet the hard marble floor. Looking up, you're greeted with the intricate paintings of Jesus and his becoming, while multiple sacred statues said to be made in the likeness of God and saints adorn every crevice of this holy place.
You can only release a small chuckle as you realize how sardonic all of this is. Above all the places you could've picked for your hunt, you just had to pick a church. What can you say? This place is rumored to have gorgeous looking pastors, and you're not one to turn down a delicious meal.
A figure cloaked in white hidden poorly inside the small confession booth catches your eye, and you can't help but grin in excitement as your eye turns a darker shade of lust. Even from afar, you can hear the testosterone in his veins, how pure the boy is, and how his body has been begging for release. You had a hunch that church boys would soothe your hunger better than anything else, and you were correct.
Calmly, you make your way towards the entrance of the booth, hunching down and sitting on the hard wooden seat right after. Thankfully, there aren't a lot of people inside. In fact, the cathedral seemed to be nearly empty— save for the few who were praying and the staff. So, you ignore how uncomfortable it is, how clogged the room is, and instead, divert your full focus onto the man that sat behind the wooden walls, separating the both of you.
"Hello, father." You greet with your head bowed down to conceal your smirk. You can vaguely make out the man's face from where you sat, the small holes carved onto the wall doing less than to hide his handsome front.
"Hello," You can almost hear the smile on his face, and this only makes your grin grow wider in return. You have no idea how, but his voice lets something inside you grow. Your desire for feeding is rising tenfold, and you have no idea for how long you'll be able to keep your lust at bay. The mere thought of having someone as pure as him sends your mind into a frenzy, as you can only imagine how delicious this boy will taste once he's under your control. The tone of his voice is so satisfying that it even makes your cunt water as it awaits his penetration. You can't wait to have him between your legs, and your mouth is already watering at the thought of having to taste his arousal. Your only option is to calm yourself down just for a little bit, not wanting to feel yourself grow sticky before you've even lulled your prey.
"What brings you here today?"
"I'm afraid I've committed a sin, Father." You say, your voice feigning sadness and shame.
"That's alright. The reason you've come here is to seek forgiveness and repent. Even that alone takes courage and you're admirable for that." You hear him say. His words only make you chuckle as you give absolutely no shits whether or not God forgave you or not, he's not yours to worship, and neither is God his. You think he should be worshiping you. "What is it that you did?"
Instead of answering his question, you throw one back at him. "What's your name, Father?" You ask, voice sounding dark while you lure him in. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."
With the silence that takes over, you can tell that he's taken aback by your question because, honestly, who wouldn't? The purpose of this wall separating the both of you is to hide your identity, to make you feel less ashamed to confess your crimes and feelings because your persona isn't seen. Even if the two of you were to cross paths outside, he wouldn't be able to know it's you. So, although perplexed, he answers because, well, why shouldn't he?
"I'm Pastor Jake." He answers, tone sounding somewhat proud, and you can't help but coo when you notice him rocking in his seat between the gaps of the divider.
All you do is hum in acknowledgement, afterwards telling him your name. Your mind tries to form a plan in order to lure your prey towards somewhere more suitable for feeding, somewhere you can touch him without the worry of anyone finding out you're a demon.
"Father," You call out to him, raising your tone as you let your scent flood his nostrils. "Do you mind telling me about yourself first? I'm still kind of nervous."
You hear the boy stutter in his movements, no doubt due to the charm your aura is exuding. Nonetheless, he tries to recover by clearing his throat, answering your question right after. "Well…" He trails off in thought with a chuckle. "I'm actually quite nervous myself too, if I'm being honest."
At that, you make a sound of feigned amazement. Crossing your legs as you prompt your chin on the palm of your hands, you ask, "How so, father?"
Whatever he says next, you tune out. You swear it was something about it today being his first day appointed as a priest, but then again, you could be wrong. However, you're too busy looking around the place, hoping to find somewhere private to even care.
Your mouth is practically watering because of the scent he exudes. The smell of purity in his body lets your hunger grow, becoming more impatient to feed the more you hear the way he talks. He's the type of boy his parents would be proud of. He's the model apprentice that everyone aspires to be. Though, you know for a fact that he's certainly not enough to make your stomach full, but surely, his innocence has to count for something. You're soon going to lose control over everything, and your true form is going to reveal itself, the mana in your body proving to be insufficient as you feel it drain in half if you don't find a feeding place sooner.
The sudden noise of someone clearing their throat pulls you out of your thoughts, and you realize then that it was him who did it. And so, doing the same to compose yourself, you pull yourself together and begin your act once you've finally found a chamber used as a storage room that is accessible for the two of you. "Father, I don't think I can confess my sins here."
Silence arises between the both of you, and you're tense as you await a reaction. Assuming that he's going to let you continue, you tug. "Is there anything I can do to help? I'm not forcing you to confess, and you can always take your time."
How sweet.
How is it possible for a human to be so innocent and caring? You're almost saddened by the fact that you have to ruin him. It's a shame his God couldn't protect him from the likes of you.
"Is there somewhere more private where we can talk?" You ask, trying to segue the conversation to where you can lure him.
"U-Uhm… I'm not sure if it's okay—" He mumbles but you cut him off.
"I don't mind you seeing my face. I'm just not comfortable telling you here." You reason it out, hoping for him to be dumb enough to take the bait. "Can we go somewhere more secluded?"
He's conflicted. Realizing you're not the normal town folk he always sees entering the church, he wants to leave a good impression— especially since it's his first day of service. His town is small, everyone knows each other. Thus, he wants to be known as a priest that everyone can feel comfortable confiding in. So, wanting to be just that, he accepts your offer, letting you lead him towards the storage room, unbeknownst to your true intentions and form.
The two of you are about to reach your safe haven for the day when another person's voice abruptly makes the two of you stop. Your back is turned towards the person as you clench your jaw at having been stopped, and you don't make a move to turn, wanting to hide your face from the other.
"Jake?" You hear a man's voice say "Where are the two of you going? The mass is about to start."
Innocently, Pastor Jake just shrugged. "Everything is fine. I'll be there, don't worry."
And with that, you make quick steps in order to drag the boy farther away from the crowd. Once both of you were inside, you intentionally left the door unlocked, savoring the possibility of someone walking in and joining the two of you. 
You walk over to him after doing so, placing yourself so close that he can feel your breath hitting his face. 
He's a bit taken aback by your sudden movements; however, he doesn't peep a protest but stutters back in order to give the two of you some space.
Your meal is a beautiful sight to see. Your senses weren't wrong when it told you that the man behind the border was handsome. His hair is a beautiful shade of midnight black and it falls so naturally across his chiseled face. His eyes are wide and puppy-like and it's no surprise to you when you notice the upwards hook at the edges of his mouth, making him look like an adorable pet. Unlike the usual priests you've seen across the other towns, you really have to praise this one for having such young and youthful looking priests as they serve to be the most flavourful dishes. Not long has passed yet you're becoming weaker by the second and you can feel your composure dissipating as you imagine the future events that are about to happen once you put him under control.
Not wanting to wait any longer, you let your tail reveal itself, both because you wanted to conserve your remaining mana and because you yearn to see the look on his face once he finds out what you're going to do to him.
"Jake…" You call out his name without the title, releasing a chuckle after seeing the shocked look on his face as his mouth hangs open at the sight of your raven black tail swishing excitedly. 
"Father, I've been starving." You say, voice sounding too alluring for Jake to keep his mind straight as the scent of your charm floods through his senses once again. Only this time, it makes him weaker as his body submits itself to your orders.
Feeling his knees start to buckle, he falls on the cold marbled floor with a soft thud. "W-What is happening to me?" He asks in a fit of desperation when he realizes he's unable to will his limbs to move.
The desperate and helpless look oozing inside his puppy dog eyes sets your body on fire. Your tail keeps swishing from behind you in glee as your horns slowly reveal themselves, sitting comfortably on the crown of your head.
"Y-You're a demon…" He concludes, words sounding awfully slurred as his eyes turn hooded with lust.
Smirking, you reply, "You just noticed?"
Come to think of it, he should've known that you were different from the start; your natural scent just seemed to stand out above everything else, the way the tone of your voice made him shiver, and the way you had no interest in anything other than yourself were clear signs. But in the end, how was he supposed to know that you were a creature that's out of this world?
Yes, the Bible talks about them, but, poor Jake has never seen one in person— nevertheless, this close and this pretty. There's this thing called "blind faith" in Christianity, which means that the servants of God should believe in him despite not being able to see. He just didn't think it worked the other way around, that he should've believed that demons existed without having to have seen them in person. 
Although he's still baffled, he's aware that you're real. Although, half conscious, he knows what's going to happen next. He doesn't know what it is you clearly want from him, though. You said you were starving, so could it possibly mean that you're a vampire seeking blood? No, that's certainly not it, because if that were the case then there'd be no need for the boner that's peeking through his robes.
"Aww," You say in a high pitched voice, clearly mocking his inability. "Is the pastor begging for some pussy? I bet your dick is just begging to be touched. My, how have you survived all these years without release?"
The boy frowns at your words, wondering why you chose such vulgar things, but against his will, his dick twitches and it makes you smile.
Squatting down, you crawl your way towards his figure. When you reach him, you put your face close to his, making sure that your noses are touching, and you rub them together to feign comfort. 
Because of the close proximity, you've once again been given a chance to look at his features; how clear his skin is and how there isn't an area of imperfection. You can see the light sprinkles of brown that fall onto his cheeks, where the sun usually hits. His eyelashes are long and perfectly curled upward, and his body trembles at your touch.
Unable to wait any longer, you make him take his robes off because, although the thought of corrupting someone as pure as him with a priest's robe on makes your cunt drip, you'd rather fuck him without it. You're just dying to see how his body looks underneath all those layers of clothing. After doing so, you sit on his lap, making him lean back on his palms as you wrap your limbs around his body. 
Surprisingly, he's well built for someone who attends a book club more than the average townie, and his skin is as pure as milk. You skim your hands down from his chest, feeling and cupping each peck. Your fingers slowly rub against his nipples, and Jake's body can't help but twitch at the sensation. He'd try to pry your wandering hands off of him, but something in his body is preventing him from doing so. It feels wrong and strangely intimate, something he should be doing with someone he knows, but then again, he's unsure why it feels this good.
He watches with shaken eyes as you drag your hands from the middle of his chest and down to his lower abdomen to trace every ab he has on his stomach, and you only smile deviously as you watch how heavy his breathing has become.
You reach back and take his hands in yours, admiring the soft pink that coats his knuckles and the veins that protrude through his skin. Bringing his hand close to your mouth, you lean in and slowly lick each knuckle. You love the way he takes a deeper inhale when he feels the warm coat of your saliva coating his skin, making you smile in amusement, confidently repeating your actions.
You don't miss the thin layer of sweat arising on his skin nor do you take your eyes off of every muscle in his stomach. Looking further down on his body, you take a long pause just to look at his dick. With the effect of your charm, the boy has grown impossibly hard in mere minutes and is leaking all of himself. There's a small glob of precum right outside his hole, tempting you to lick it and so, you do. 
You get off from his lap, once again going on all fours just so you can reach the underside of his dick. You lean closer towards his balls before digging your tongue on his thick length upwards towards the tip of his dick. You make sure to suck him as hard as you can, wanting to taste more of the precum coming out of his pretty dick more than anything else.
Jake lets out a loud whimper at your actions, hands bunching your hair in an effort to pull you off of him. He's only half intoxicated with your scent, just how you wanted it. His body is under your spell and all it wants is release, however, his mind is still conscious, knowing full well what's happening. He's trying to fight it. Believe him, he is. But it's hard when your own body is fighting against you. Though, that won't last for long because you know that with the way his body is reacting so early on in your rendezvous, he's soon going to give in fully without the need to use your magic because that's how man works. Once they've gotten a taste of what it's like to feel pleasure, they'll never want to go back.
You stay on all fours as you suck the life out of him, eliciting pretty grunts from the boy as he starts to shake in his seat due to the erotic sounds you were making while taking his dick down your throat. Making sure to bob your head, you let the drool pooling inside your mouth to escape past your lips and trail down his dick, reaching his balls. 
Jake puts little to no effort into pulling you off of him, as every time he tries to pry your lips away from his dick, he has no choice but to stop and halt his movements with a loud cry, feeling you suck his dick harder than ever in defiance.
Finally, after what seemed like a full five minutes of purely sucking him inside your mouth, you release him. You let out a loud breath, letting his dick fall out of your mouth as oxygen returns to your lungs. With his hardness, Jake's dick still stands tall as it twitches every so often, waiting for more friction as he watches your eyes eye it maniacally.
You stick your tongue out for him to see the remnants of his precum clinging to your wet muscle, your saliva mixing with them. The boy lets out a small moan of pleasure, still in denial of how quickly he's growing to love your assault on his body. His eyes enlarge when he feels you wrap your hand around his dick, immediately moving to grip your wrist in a move to stop you, but his efforts are left in vain when you move your hand slowly along his length, ignoring the clutch he has on you. 
With each stroke, Jake lets out whimpers of pleasure as you introduce him to yet another form of sin. His head is thrown back in pleasure, the volume of his moans heightening when he feels you rub him faster.
"Is it okay, Jake?" You ask, hand still moving at the same fast pace as it was before.
Jake is too busy whimpering as he looks at the way your hand moves up and down across his whole length with teary eyes, too dumb to comprehend what you just said. He's gasping every so often, making sure not to let himself get too loud and scream.
When you notice he isn't going to reply, you spit out a thick glob of saliva onto the tip of his dick and start jerking him off faster. Smiling, dubiously, you tsk out, "I asked you a question, father. Don't ignore me."
At the sudden change of pace, Jake lets out a loud cry. His eyes are squeezed shut, and his head gets thrown back, letting you see the way his Adam's apple moves as he gulps. "No! I— S-Stop… please."
Offended, you take your hands off of him and stand up to leave. When he feels your hands and warmth escape him, his eyes bulge at the loss of contact before desperately searching for you across the room.
His eyes are still in a daze, his body buzzing so loudly that he can feel his ears start to sting. When his eyes finally regain some consciousness, he looks for you and finds you lazily leaning against an empty table. His eyes turn into those adorable dog-like eyes that you were talking about earlier, and you might be wrong, but it seems as if they're begging for you to come back and touch him.
"Please…" He squeaks out in a shy tone, peeking at you through his eyelashes, and you resist the urge to cradle his head to your chest and treat him like a baby.
You're no sadist. You want to turn this man around and make him beg to be your dog. Make him realize what he's been missing, and at this point, you're just too in love with the way his sweat covered chest rises every time he takes a breath to compose himself and the pleasure filled look on his face when you were pumping his dick with your hand for you to let him go so easily.
Greedily, and feeling your patience running thin, you motion for him to come to you, and he does so, stumbling and clumsily staggering towards you. Once he does, you lean in and attach your lips to his neck, unable to contain the desire to mark your new territory. You wrap your hands around his waist, pulling his body flush against yours. His boner pokes against your inner thighs, and all you want to do is take him in already, but even though you're feeling desperate, you want him to break first, or else your ego wouldn't allow it.
"I—" Jake says before cutting himself off with a grunt once he feels you suck on the base of his neck harder. 
"Hmm?" You reply, humming against the part of his neck where his shoulder and throat connects which causes a mode of vibrations to shoot through his body. As you do so, you take your hand and place it back on his dick, feeling him sigh from above you once he feels the pleasure coming back.
Endless shots of tingles overtake him and though he wants to say something, he can't because the combined movements of your hand pumping his dick and the open-mouthed kisses you leave across his neck is making his mind grow fuzzy, rendering him unable to speak.
Noticing this, you decide to take pity on him and to show him how merciful you can be. You tone down your movements to a more leisure pace and you automatically feel his body relax, no longer on the run to chase his orgasm.
Jake shivers when he feels your hot breath fanning his ear and he can't contain the moan that he lets out when he feels you bite on the shell.
"Speak." He hears what you say, but even though your hand has slowed down its movement on his dick, he still can't form a sentence because now, he doesn't even remember what he wanted to say in the first place. 
Oh, you're messing with him. He can tell your whole being in itself is messing with his mind all together and you're doing a damn good job at it. Just thinking about your pretty red lips wrapped around the whole of his dick sets his mind into a frenzy.
Looking up, he hopes that God will forgive him for the sinful act he's committing, knowing full well that having intercourse out of wedlock is a vital sin in itself. But he's taken away once he hears you laugh at him as you shake your head, finding him entertaining, and only then does he notice that he's said his apologies out loud.
All of a sudden, his mind seems to have retaken its consciousness as his cheeks erupt in flame. All he can do is condemn you in his mind for giving him his conciseness back at the worst timing possible, and this time, he makes sure to say it in his mind and not aloud.
In your defense, he wanted to say something. That's why you gave him the privilege of thinking coherently again.
Now, all Jake wants to do is hide himself, but he can't. Not when he's caged by your arms around his waist. He knows his confession should be the last thing he should be worried about. You're literally stroking his hardened cock in your hands while his clothes are disregarded somewhere inside the room, so clearly, he has more things to be embarrassed about. But Jake's mind is getting fuzzy again. Though you've given him the freedom to take action, he's at a loss. With your charm or not, he has somewhat fallen for your game, and with the lustful look you're giving him while you patiently wait for him to gather his thoughts, it's only a matter of time before he loses all control.
"W-What are you?" He squeaks out again like last time just for the sake of talking to you, eyes down at you shyly.
"My poor Jake," You coo, cradling his face in the palm of your hand. "You really are the most innocent thing I've ever seen. I can just eat you whole."
At that, Jake's eyes widen, fear swimming within those pretty doe eyes. He freezes in his spot as his whole body tenses when he hears your laugh echo all throughout the room. It's scary and there's a part of him that knows your words have a possibility of becoming his reality.
Though he's scared of you, there's another part inside him that's egging him on— a part that wants you to kneel down and take his dick inside your mouth again. He thinks it's you, thinks that it's your charm affecting him. However, like you've said, it's been a long time since you clouded his mind, so really, he's just being a massive pervert. But he doesn't need to know that. You'll let him entertain his thoughts and watch him crumble beneath you while still being in denial because you live to see the conflict in a man's eyes.
"D-Do you really… mean that?" He squeaks out, his voice sounding so small as his lips rest in a pout.
"Hmm," You contemplate, and from Jake's point of view, he's at a loss for words because he just doesn't know what to expect from you. You're something out of this world, and it's impossible for a mere human like him to predict your motives. "Do you believe in demons, father? Demons of Lust to be exact."
Gosh, he should've known, if angels existed, so should you. All his life, he prayed for the guidance of angels and saints. If only he knew that all of them were wasted in vain. That just when he thought that he had come one step closer to being a better servant of God, he's here kneeling before a demon who feeds on humans' sexual desires.
Seeing the mortified look on the boy's face, you scoff in amusement. "Did you really think holy water could keep me away from you? May you bathe in a gallon or drink it whole, I will still be able to touch you," You say in a menacing tone. You grip his locks in your hand, forcing him to straighten and meet your eyes. "Consume you at most."
You can feel Jake's body start trembling, and you can only bite your tongue for your stupidity. You didn't intend to scare him with facts, so you take the liberty and tuck his face into your neck, telling him to take a deep breath so that your scent can cloud his mind once again. Immediately, his body starts to relax, and his mouth opens wide to get more of the air mixed with you inside his body. You let him repeat the same actions for minutes, letting him calm himself down, and to your surprise, you felt him start placing open mouth kisses on your neck soon after.
Jake's plush lips against your neck, mixed with the airy moans he's letting out while you caress his head, make Jake hum in delight, mouth still pressed against the side of your neck.
"So… pretty." He looks at the skin with clouded eyes, cock twitching when he looks at the saliva that coats the skin that he had just kissed and sucked. You can't help but hum in satisfaction as you feel the boy start grinding his boner against your thigh, and you let him do whatever he wants. His dick is painfully hard against your skin, and knowing that he's now under your control, your hole starts begging again. 
His hips rock against your thigh, and you feel him pick up the pace as time goes by— probably getting a feel of his orgasm. The volume of Jake's moans starts to heighten, and you let him use your thigh as a surface to get off on, humming every now and then whenever he looks at you with eyes that seemed as if he was begging, pleading for any sort of validation and climax.
"I- I… Something's—" He says, cutting himself off when a particular thrust becomes a little too pleasurable. "I… Should I keep going? I feel like… I'm going to— to pee myself."
Fuck
Of course, he doesn’t know what an orgasm is. He’s an innocent boy. How can he know such a sinful thing?
The boy has probably never experienced dick relief in his entire life and has probably woken up in the middle of the night with a wet patch in his boxers. Did he think he peed himself? That’s so adorable. However, there’s not a doubt in your body that the boy oozes sex appeal without even having any sort of experience in the field.
He has probably never masturbated in his life, has he? This is probably his first time humping anything, and the thought alone makes you swoon.
Cooing, you pat the top of his head to show your affection, pouting in mockery due to how innocent and cute the boy is. 
You bunch up his hair in your hands, and seeing him look at you with hooded eyes turns you wicked. His mouth is open, moans easily, spilling out now that his orgasm is nearing. "Let go, Jake. Be a good whore and show me how you look when you cum untouched." You spit out.
Jake audibly gasps when you call him such a name, looking as if he’s been betrayed. You’re treating him with so much care, letting him hump your thigh while you pat his head and yet, you call him a whore?
He’s not a whore. Jake never sleeps around. Hell, Jake has never kissed anyone but his mother, let alone touch a woman like this before. Well, technically, you aren’t a woman woman. You’re a demon. Not human, but still a woman at best, so he’ll count it. Well, not that he’s proud of it— is he? 
Why would you call him one? Though he wants to appeal and tell you that he isn't, Jake doesn't get a chance to because just when he was about to peak his orgasm, he suddenly freezes, hearing the door open.
"Hello? Ja—" Standing by the door you’ve purposely left unlocked is a boy wearing the same clothes as Jake. There, he stands frozen at the scene of you and Jake in the corner of the room. 
Jake’s back is facing him, giving the stunned boy a nice view of his exposed ass while in between the legs of a woman who has horns on her head and a tail swishing behind her. It’s really an odd sight. Even without the extra anatomy added onto you, it would still be strange, not to mention inappropriate — especially inside a church, a place where they’re supposed to give themselves to Christ. Yet, here the two of you are, having sexual intercourse beside a statue of St. Nicholas— the two of you didn’t notice that, though.
Embarrassed, Jake dives into your neck and hides while his body presses against yours as if he thinks he can mold into you and magically disappear.  
"J-Jake? What is…" The boy doesn’t get to utter another word, as before he could even finish his question, you're already darting out a hand, expressing your charm, and letting the boy in question fall under your spell. Jake watches as his friend falls into a dazed trance, half wondering if that's what he looks like right now even though he has stayed somewhat conscious thanks to you, and half not giving a damn.
"Who’s that, Jake?" You whisper at the back of his ear. Your breath tickles him, which results in him cringing further into your body. Cutely, he whines, still embarrassed at being caught. 
"That’s Heeseung Hyung." He answers, mumbling against you. "He’s another newly appointed priest, like me."
Oh
Oh
So, you will be able to fully quench your thirst after such a long time of waiting.
With the fantastic turn of events, you motion for Heeseung to come near both of you. As Heeseung strides towards the both of you, you take Jake's face out of his comfort zone— your neck, as you pull him in for a messy kiss. 
It looks rushed and dirty, but you won't have it any other way. From an onlooker's point of view, it looked as if you were trying to eat his face whole with the way your tongue is digging down his throat and how you're sucking so violently on his bottom lip. Your hand crawls down from his waist and all the way down towards the plush skin of his ass, palming and kneading the flesh as you push them into you, guiding them to press onto your clothed vagina. 
Jake releases a loud moan into your mouth when he feels your soaked heat, and his mouth opens ajar from the pleasure the mere act of pressing his dick against you gives. Nevertheless, you don't stop your actions and continue to suck on his swollen lips.
Eyeing the boy, Heeseung, with hooded eyes as you continue to feel up Jake's body, you watch as his doll-like eyes begin to cloud even hazier with lust, just like his friend. You're going to have a field day with this town's priests. Where the fuck do they get them? They're all so fucking hot. So, you wonder why they would waste their beauty serving God and not you at some old, run-down shithole?
Never mind that. You can take matters into your own hands. They were born into this belief which means it's easier to sway them, and show them what it feels like to live freely without any bounds.
Sex is amazing, and lust isn't a sin; it's a fucking blessing.
Already, you're in love with Heeseung's eyes. His eyes portray every emotion so vividly. You can see the longing in his eyes as he watches his friend get the majority of your attention, and you can see how he's silently begging for you to order him around.
No more are the innocent priests who knew nothing but to kneel before God. Now, they kneel stark naked before you, worshiping your cunt as you order both of them to eat you out like their lives depended on it. Both of them are intoxicated, and Jake has given up in trying to regain consciousness. Besides, he knows you'll give it to him eventually if he's good. All he wants now is to please you. To hear your praises ringing through the walls.
While you instruct Jake to thrust his tongue inside and around your soaking cunt, you guide Heeseung to place himself above the other as he sucks your clit. Your legs are spread wide, both in order to accommodate the both of them and to make it easier for you to watch them go crazy over the taste of a vagina. 
The loud sound of slurping and sucking fills the walls of the storage room, both boys moaning against your pussy at your taste. You're sweet and addictive, it's otherworldly. Neither of them can get enough, as they hardly even make a move to leave your cunt. They're moaning against it, and you doubt either of them would leave anytime soon. 
When Heeseung starts sucking and flicking his tongue and Jake thrusts his whole tongue inside your hole, you give them their reward in a form of praise. "The both of you are so fucking good. So innocent and pretty." You hum, swaying Heeseung's hair away from his forehead.
Suddenly, Heeseung pulls away from your grasp and Jake does the same against your vagina. Both of them looked repulsed and confused. You quirk an eyebrow at this, about to ask them what the matter was, before Jake licks his lips clean, saying, "You shouldn't cuss, Miss."
And to add to that, Heeseung says, "God will be angry at you if you say bad words like that."
For the love of Lucifer, can this scene be anymore entertaining? Two innocent men who have served God longer than they have known how to speak, kneeling before a succubus; the very being that encourages them to sin, and they're worried about you cussing.
"Don't worry about me, boys. God already despises me," You say, clicking your tongue as you cup Jake's cheeks in one hand, fingers pressing against his soft skin, making the boy pout. "And I, to him."
"But God forgives everyone, Miss!" Heeseung bursts, leaning his head against your inner thighs before placing a quick kiss against it.
"Not so sure about that. Besides, God should be the least of your worries right now." You dismiss it, already fed up with the topic.
The two look at each other innocently, both tilting their heads as if to ask the other what they should do. They're convinced that you are worthy of forgiveness, seemingly forgetting the fact that you are the reason they're committing a sin. Nonetheless, they dismiss it when neither of them answers, and you watch in delight as the two of them suck and thrust, tail swishing to show them how much you enjoy it. 
You insert two fingers in your mouth, coating them with saliva before releasing them with a loud pop. With your other hand, you grip the back of Heeseung's head, dragging him to lay on top of you on all fours while Jake takes control over your pussy. 
Once he's well situated on your stomach near your pelvis, you eye your finger, signaling for him to lean in and take it in his mouth. However, it seems as if you forgot that these two are more inexperienced than a newborn sex demon because Heeseung just eyes your fingers in wonder. 
"Well, you're just the most adorable thing on earth, aren't you, pretty boy?" You chuckle at yourself after realizing this, and you tap your fingers against his pouty lips. Picking up the signs you throw at him, Heeseung takes your fingers in his mouth, sucking and bobbing his head like how you would suck dick, nodding his head against them to show you that he agrees with your statement.
"Miss~" You hear Jake whine against your cunt before he nips at your clit to show his distaste. "I thought I was your pretty boy?"
"Fuck, Jake." You curse out after seeing Jake's chin and lips practically covered in your juices. Despite the sexual deeds that the three of you have been doing, the two still manage to look impossibly innocent, and somehow, that makes you want to ruin them more. 
From where he's sitting, Heeseung listens in on your conversation with his friend. He looks at Jake when he speaks and then back at you when he hears you curse once again. His brows knit together, and his pout is ever so evident, even when your fingers are in between his lips. "Miss!"
He's scolding you, but you're not in any way, shape, or form threatened by it. Instead, you laugh, throwing your head back as you retract your hand from Heeseung's mouth.
You sigh. "The two of you are a dream."
However, Heeseung isn't one to back down, as is Jake. Their stare at you is relentless, expecting you to apologize for using such vulgar language towards them. Neither of them can take the fact that a pretty creature like you, who's satisfying them with this new found feeling, is using such horrid words. So, now, as if they're on their last straw— they aren't— they ask you to apologize.
You roll your eyes at the two of them and scoff out a simple "Sorry." And just like clockwork, Jake goes back to work on eating you out while Heeseung leans his face close to yours, asking for a kiss. 
You let out a satisfied hum as the two of you start making out. It's slow and quite sensual— the complete opposite of what you and Jake were doing prior. This is new, and you didn't think you were going to be into it, but alas, you find out something new every day, don't you?
Hunched over as he kisses you, Heeseung's dick lays heavy and angry against your stomach, twitching from time to time as you feel beads of precum escaping his head. You reach over and grab it in your hands, slowly jerking him off. 
It takes the boy by surprise, making him gasp into the kiss in shock as he lurches forward. "W-What are you do— Ohh."
His body writhes in pleasure, and it takes him a few seconds to regain the ability to resume his kiss with you. You don't mind though; you're happy to see his reaction just by you pumping his dick at such a lazy pace.
Innocent.
So. Fucking. Innocent.
You have no idea whether you should damn their parents to heaven— since hell is your personal paradise— for making such handsome men and giving them no education when it came to sexual acts or be grateful. Just realizing how pure these two are makes a gush of arousal surge out of your vagina, and Jake is quick to lay his tongue flat against your skin and lick it up.
After a while of continuing the same agenda on repeat, you finally deem the time appropriate. Honestly, your cunt has been dripping more than it usually does during feeding— granted, some of the liquid is actually Jake's saliva. Well, it's understandable since there's two gorgeous men on top of you. 
Initially, you had wanted to prolong all of this, but your patience is running thin and your hole is literally clenching around nothing. It's only a matter of time before you're begging for one of them to put their dicks in you, but thankfully, they cave in first.
"Miss," Jake calls out, lifting his face momentarily from your vagina, only to rub his nose against your clit affectionately before murmuring a choked, "My… thing... it hurts so bad."
Hearing his friend confess gives Heeseung the courage to do the same, choking out a plea as he nods his head in agreement. Both of them look at you with those pretty eyes, and you immediately agree— not that you were going to deny them either way. 
The bambi is obedient when it comes to your orders, as when you pat Heeseung's butt, telling him to stand up so you can lift yourself off of the table, he obeys, cutely climbing off of you. Now, both of them are standing, waiting for your instructions. Both their dicks look painfully erect, twitching as they hang in the air while they watch your naked figure hop off of the table. 
You try to hide your need for the two boys as you feign it by arching your back, making it so that your chest is pressed onto the air while your butt rises, showing them your unrealistic curves. Your body, like any demon of lust, is something that's unachievable— like purity. It's an act, a tool used to bait their prey. Naturally, the more one looks at it, the further they go down the rabbit hole, hardly ever seen again until you free them from their cages.
Your body is exuding an absurd amount of your scent and charm. It intoxicated the two boys, making them hornier than they initially were. With just that, the boys are put under a lustful spell, and it's Jake who breaks composure first— not that you think Heeseung was doing any better seeing as he's eyeing his dick with curiosity, wondering why the fuck it was twitching so much. Neither of the boys could comprehend what was happening— one, because they were put under your spell, and two, because this has never happened before. 
Heeseung could remember a time when he accidentally brushed his hand against his own bulge one time when it was erect, but he was immediately caught by his father. Needless to say, Heeseung was scheduled for an endless lecture at church and a whipping from his father while he prayed the bible by the poor young boy's hunched body on the ground. But with Heeseung's mind severely clouded with lust, all he could think about was sex and relief. As Heeseung eyes his dick with wide eyes, he wonders what it is that he should do to relieve the pain that it's causing. That's when he remembers what you did to him just a while ago—the way your hands felt so good on his dick and how noise after noise brought up by pleasure formed in his throat. He wonders, will it be the same if he did it to himself? Is he allowed to?
Warily and with shaking hands, he taps his head as an experiment, causing him to suddenly jolt and whine loudly as he pouts. 
Hearing him, you quickly turn and smirk at the sight of both of them trying to get some relief without your proper guidance. They're just innocent little babies to you. Food that has somewhat turned you soft. They know jack shit about sex and they clearly know even less when it came to masturbating. So, you watch with amused eyes as Jake eventually falls to his feet and starts touching his dick but fails to get the same relief he wanted. From the looks of it, he's either squeezing too hard or too soft, and the way he's touching himself looks rather awkward. He's shaking his dick for some reason, but again, what were you expecting?
As a cocky smirk remains splattered across your lips, you make your way towards Jake's helpless figure. You place your feet on top of his whole erection, pressing a bit harder than usual just because you felt playful. 
"Aww, poor Jakey can't get rid of his boner." You say this mockingly while stepping on his dick. The action causes the boy to throw his head back with a strangled groan. His hands snap to clutch onto your ankle, but like before, you aren't fazed. Instead, you dig the soles of your feet harder into him, toes rubbing his head.
When Jake realizes that what you're doing is helping him relieve the tense feeling in his private area, the hand on your ankle that was supposedly there to pull it off begins holding it in place instead.
You grin in hilarity as you watch Jake start grinding on your feet, sighing dreamily at the sight of him raising his hips to roll it onto your heel. 
"What am I going to do to a dog like you, father?" You ask after a particularly loud moan leaves his lips. "When the townsfolk see how much of a slutty bitch their pastor is, do you think they'd laugh?"
"I-I… Uhm," He answers, feeling confused as to why the sound of you calling him by the title "father" arouses him so much. He isn't even able to complete his sentence, and he doesn't even try to remember what he had planned to say. All he can focus on is your skin on his penis and nothing else. Jakes' eyebrows knit together, his mouth still open as a whimper slips past it; however, the boy doesn't stop thrusting into your feet. He's even going as far as to rub your mid met onto the underside of his dick.
"You'd like that, won't you?" You scoff out, putting a large amount of weight onto the foot that's on Jake's cock. "Wanna make them hear how much of a slut you've turned into just for some quick relief."
The boy screams loudly, and you're sure someone from the other side of the door can hear him, but he's too far gone to care. In fact, he even nods at you in agreement. "Y-Yes!"
"Miss," You hear Heeseung call out to you with a whiny voice that resembles a child who wants attention. "Me too, please."
"I'm sorry, honey." Apologizing to him, you pull your feet away from Jake, making him sob as all the pleasure and attention he was receiving got taken away in an instant. He watches with jealous eyes as you cradle Heeseung's face in your hands before kissing his friend's pouty lips.
"Come here, Jakey."
If Jake's being honest, he doesn't know which is his favorite name to be called; Jake, or baby. In truth, the boy really doesn't mind which one you choose to use. He loves all of them. Each one elicits a different reaction from him, but ultimately, all of them make his stomach flutter. 
So, he obeys you devotedly but enviously shoves Heeseung to the side, taking his place in front of you. Jake leans into you, quickly attaching his lips to yours in need. The essence of your vagina is on every inch of his tongue, lips, and it's spread across the whole validity of his lower face. When Jake puts his tongue shyly inside your mouth, you taste yourself, and you can't help but moan. 
The boy has been eating you for minutes, and there hasn't been a single complaint thrown. You're even surprised his muscle hasn't strained, and that just proves to you how they've been on the wrong end of the spectrum their whole upbringing.
While Jake's lips stay glued to yours, your hands reach out for the other, fully knowing that he has a pout across his porcelain face for being pushed aside and neglected. You pull him towards you, and he gasps when his cock touches your wet mound. Feeling your slick walls hit a part of his dick, Heeseung can't help but beg for you to do something— anything, because at this point, his penis has been tense for so long, he feels like his testicles are about to implode. 
You've touched Jake so much, pressed your feet against him, and he's watched you kiss the boy so much, yet all you've done to him is a quick makeout session and a pump on his dick at a languid pace. He wants to come, and he wants you to give it to him.
"P-Please, Miss. I can't take it anymore!"
Halting your kiss but not pulling away entirely, smirk against Jake's lips as you eye Heeseung, who's on your side. 
"Yeah? What do you want, father?" You ask in a teasing manner, and Heeseung has to swallow the embarrassing groan in his throat upon hearing you call him that.
"My penis is hurting so much, Miss. Please do something." He says desperately before whining when he sees the way Jake is feeling your body up. "And why is he touching you like that?! I-I can do better!"
"You can?" You say with your eyebrows raised as you pull away from Jake, amused by his sudden outburst, that you can't help but chuckle.
"Yes, I-I can!"
You feel Jake scoff against your lips, and you only roll your eyes at their behavior, but there's a sense of underlying amusement for the situation at hand. You're not at all phased by their childish actions. You're actually quite impressed by how much of their personalities they're showing you. Both of them are extremely envious, and both seek attention from you constantly. You're not sure if this is how they act on a daily basis. The horniness is definitely not something ordinary, but you wonder if there's a hidden part of them that's tempted to sin. Jealousy is a dangerous thing, but it doesn't seem to be much of their concern.
"All right then." You announce, guiding Heeseung to sit on a leather-clad chair while the other stays standing behind you. 
Heeseung tries to fight it in himself to squirm and whine as he watches you sit on his lap, back facing him. Your arousal drenched cunt slides along his whole cock, covering his whole length with your juices. 
On the other hand, sitting on top of Heeseung's dick and lap lets you come face to face with Jake's hard dick. As you look up at him, you see him eyeing the small gap between the tip of his penis and your mouth, remembering the time a while ago when it was inside it. It was euphoric, and no pleasure could equal it. Seeing your mouth stuffed with his dick and you unable to speak as you mumble and hum across his whole length makes Jake's dick visibly twitch, afterwards leaking a thick streak of precum.
Your eyes follow the way it trickles down towards the underside of his dick, watching as it runs down and stains the pulsating veins against his length. Feeling your composure running thin and unable to hold yourself back, you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out, and pressing it against the base of his cock. The tip of your wet muscle presses against his balls as you hold his dick up with one hand, and when you trail your tongue across the trail of precum it left up to his sensitive head, Jake lets out a loud moan in pleasure, his breathing already turning ragged.
"You ready, boys?" A sinister smirk forms across your lips as you ask him this, momentarily looking over your shoulder. When you and Heeseung make eye contact, the boy suddenly turns shy. Heeseung bites his lips cutely, his deer-like eyes looking up at you as per usual as he nods. 
Right on cue, the church bells start ringing, signaling that the mass will soon begin. But your boys take no action to move, and somehow, this makes your chest start swelling with glee, making you feel very eager to have them inside you.
Although oblivious to the exact details of your question, Heeseung and Jake nodded nonetheless. You make quick work lining Heeseung's tip onto your salivating hole, and Heeseung's hands shakily grip your hips as he watches you sink down on his whole length in one go, his dick disappearing into your wet mound.
Unable to keep silent, Heeseung moans aloud and throws his head back when the pleasure hits him harder than a truck. Even though it's only his cock that's inside you, it feels as if his whole body is being sent into a flame, and automatically, he's getting hotter and sweatier. All he wants is for you to move, anticipating how much pleasure he'll receive, but you don't, and he's only left disappointed.
"Miss~" He whines drunkenly, his eyes closing as he pleads. "Please, move."
"My, my," You coo, body twisting so you can hook your arms across his shoulder momentarily. You lean your head close to him, bumping your nose against his pointed one as you ask him a question affectionately. "Getting impatient?"
"Yes." He answers with no hint of shyness at all.
Finding his desperation adorable, you coo, pulling Heeseung's face towards you, making your lips clash as you start moving your hips slowly on top of his dick. As a result, Heeseung starts to moan into your mouth; a gust of his breath goes inside your mouth, and you swallow it. 
"Does that feel good?" You bite Heeseung's lip as the two of you kiss, and he whimpers into your mouth, gripping your hips tighter when he feels your insides clench around his dick. "I bet it does, doesn't it?"
Heeseung groans and hums against your mouth, the way his body lurches forward doing nothing but affirming you as it makes you press your back against his wide chest further. 
While the two of you proceed to make out, Jake watches the two of you, and his mouth starts to salivate. His dick is uncontrollably moving in the air, jolting every so often when he zeroes in on the sight of Heeseung's slick coated dick being inserted in and out of your pussy. Jake can see the way it's shining with your juice, the light hitting just right for it to become visible.
Eventually, you look at Jake and watch with pity as he continues to watch in hunger while you fuck Heeseung. He isn't even making a move to touch himself like last time, just feeling too captivated by the way his friend's dick looks at the moment to care about satisfying his own body.
Continuing to move your hip at the same punishing pace, you pull away from the deer-like boy. For a moment, Heeseung chases your lips until it eventually goes far from his reach. He was about to start complaining before you take him by surprise by suddenly starting to circle your hips across his lap, and he suddenly throws his head back due to the new angle.
Wanting to give your other boy attention, you reach for Jake's thighs, wrapping them across the hard muscle before you pull him towards you. You pull him until his dick is pressed against your lips, planting a small kiss on his head before taking him inside your mouth.
Jake gasps once he feels your warm mouth around his aching length, his body stilling from surprise. His eyes are closed, but his mouth stays open as he releases a whimper, feeling your sharp nails dragging alongside his thighs, leaving more marks.
Just then, you make the move to bottom out on both holes. You sink yourself fully onto Heeseung's dick, both of your thighs pressing firmly against each other. As for Jake and your mouth, you press your palms across the plush skin of Jake's ass before pushing his hips into your mouth, making it so that your nose touches his happy trail and his dick hits against the back of your throat.
Both boys release a loud, satisfactory moan in unison, feeling their dicks hit the farthest they can inside both holes. 
Though your gag reflex is completely non-existent and you're incapable of feeling that sensation, you gag fakely around Jake's dick, fully knowing that the vibrations caused by your throat wrapped around his dick and the contractions would give him complete bliss. At the same time, you grip his hips and start guiding him to thrust into your mouth, and with time, he soon gets the memo that you're telling him to fuck your face. Now, without the guidance of your hands, you take Jake's dick in your throat, completely pliant, as you leave him to thrust his hips desperately, ignoring the bruises it'll leave on the roof of your mouth after he's done with you.
"Mhm," He hums breathlessly while he watches your mouth stuffed with his cock. "'Looks so pretty right now with my penis inside your mouth, Miss."
Cute, he's still using the word penis when referring to the dick that's covered in your saliva.
Unable to talk, all you do is nod, his dick following your motions, and he throws his head back again and moans as per routine.
On the other hand, Heeseung's chest rises and falls as he leans breathlessly against the backrest. He watches the way his dick disappears when your ass and his pelvis collide, completing the action with a loud smack due to how hard you're going down on his lap. There's no stopping you, and believe me, Heeseung doesn't want you to ever stop either, because if something gets in the way of him finally achieving relief, he'll cry. 
There's something about corrupting a virgin that drives you on—however, having two at once makes everything ten times more arousing: the idea of destroying someone's innocence to the point where reality becomes a blur to them. Both their thought processes are the same: God above everything, though you're sure that'll change soon enough. Now, they're desperate for sex. Their innocence mixed with the lust shining in their eyes is adorable, and you have no doubt that if you lose control now, you're going to cum first, and that has never happened before.
At one point, Jake's precum on your tongue gets too addictive, and you're left yearning for more. So, you work harder and try to perform better than you already were just to get more out of him. 
Jake's hips halt when you take your mouth off of him and wrap both of your slender hands around the whole of his dick. You roll your palm against his head before gripping his dick a bit harder against your hand, sliding it down, and watching as the saliva that coats Jake's dick stretches and breaks with the distance. Your hand turns against his length as you push his hot head inside your puffy lips, providing Jake with the utmost amount of pleasure, absentmindedly slowing your motions against Heeseung's dick until they come to a full stop.
With your mind focused solely on his friend, Heeseung is desperate to continue his journey towards satisfaction. So, he experimentally thrusts his hips up into you, repeating the action when you moan against Jake's dick and shake your ass for him to continue.
As Heeseung continues his assault against your cunt, you continue to suck Jake off, your actions speeding up when you notice the clear signs of his peak pleasure surfacing; his breath becomes staggered, his whole body is tensed, and both his hands desperately pull on your hair, guiding you to move your lips against his dick. Jake's brows are knit together, and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, however, this does little to nothing when it comes to concealing his moaning pleas.
For a brief moment, you take his head out of your mouth. "You close, baby—" You ask, but the wind gets knocked out of your chest when he takes you by surprise, pulling your head to take all of his dick in one fast motion.
"Ah!" Jake hisses and his whole body quivers as shots of his hot cum paints your throat and mouth, hips stuttering as he thrusts into you to ride off his orgasm. A long, dragged out moan comes out of Jake's mouth, and you hum against his length, not minding the fact that he just cut you off nor the fact that you feel the roof of your tongue sting because of the bruises that he's left.
Just then, you hear the pastor in charge of leading the mass start preaching about the importance of maintaining one's innocence and how, as subjects of Christ, we must not falter and surrender to evil. The volume of his voice heightens, stressing each statement so as to convince the town folk, who are unaware of the events that are taking place within these holy grounds.
You gasp to catch some air when Jake's dick finally retracts from your mouth, looking up at him through your lashes and sticking your tongue out.
"W-Where did it…?" His question halts when he realizes that you've downed all his semen, afterwards whining at you, finding it incredibly hot.
Suddenly, you feel the boy behind you dig his nails deep into your hips, leaving crescent marks. You look over your shoulder to see Heeseung, who's desperately thrusting into you, trying to reach his own high. The pleading look on his face combined with the way you feel his large dick hit up until your belly button makes you lurch forward, almost falling down if it weren't for Jake, who dashingly catches you.
As he steadies you, Jake gets down on his knees and takes you aback. You groan afterwards when you see him dart his tongue to lick at your slit, Heeseung's dick still pounding into you. It all feels too good: Heeseung behind you hammering his dick up inside you, and Jake on his knees, pretty eyes closed as he savors your taste.
From time to time, Jake's tongue hits Heeseung's dick when the boy pulls his length out, and you feel your own high approaching like a storm. It's coming fast, and it's going to hit both you and Heeseung so hard. Your body is coiling, a hand tangled in Jake's raven hair, and he opens his eyes to show you those adorable irises while the other wraps around Heeseung's neck, dragging him close so you can look at both of them.
Pleadingly, Jake's eyes stay locked with yours, and it's as if both of the boys got the memo that your high is approaching without you announcing it. Their movements become rougher. The palm of Heeseung's hands plants itself on the chair and uses it as leverage to lift himself off. His other arm stays preoccupied, wrapping itself across your stomach to guide you up and down his dick while he jackhammers it inside you. You thank him by attaching your lips against his neck. Gratefully, you leave your mark, now claiming the two of them as your very own.
Jake wraps his plump lips all over your bud, his tongue harshly flicking against it, and it all makes your head spin, head retracting from Heeseung's neck to momentarily throw it back in pleasure. "The both of you are going to drive me insane."
It all hits you at once; Heeseung's cum painting your walls, Jake's pornographically loud moan, and your orgasm that knocks all the breath out of your lungs.
You've never came this hard before, and it's a whole new experience that you greedily want to have again. Amazingly, Heeseung doesn't stop thrusting into you just yet, and neither does Jake. They're both learning so fast, and it just shows more evidence to your theory that both boys were born into the wrong world. But there's no need to fret, you're here to save them and re-sort them, bring them yourself towards where they truly belong, with you.
By the time it finishes, you hear the loud echoes of the churchgoers' cheers and claps. You realize that the mass is over and that this whole scene happened within the span of an hour.
Heeseung pants as you gently lift yourself off to take his dick out of you, chuckling when you hear him hiss once his length leaves the warmth of your insides. "So cold. Wanna go back inside."
"Back off, Hyung. It's supposed to be my turn." Jake calls out, which makes both of your heads turn. Your brows raise in shock and amazement, realizing the reason for Jake's loud moan was because he jerked himself off and came on his hand.
When he sees your eyes fixate themselves on his abs and dick, both covered in his own lustful fluid, Jake's sulk falters. He grows shy, and his blush only grows even more feverish, his lips pouting as he shies away from your gaze.
As you stand up, you grab Jake's hand, guiding him down to sit next to Heeseung so he can rest. You hunch down, facing both of them as you cup their faces in the palms of your hands. They watch in a trance as your face consorts to one that portrays pure mischief, and a mix of adrenaline and excitement spreads across their chest. For some odd reason, there's no hint of fear anymore, only the greed to see what's yet to come. You guide both their heads to press against each other, blushy cheeks squeezing. 
The both of them look up at you as you watch their naked bodies side by side, your mark of ownership shining dimly in purple light. "There's no need to rush. We have all the time we need in hell."
And surprisingly, neither of them is opposed to your idea.
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want to check out my other works? click here!
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(links tba)
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ecoamerica · 15 days
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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eggtartz · 6 months
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✧ 23th October ✧
Sanzu Haruchiyo // Breaking The Doll (f! sugar baby reader)
kinktober masterlist
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warnings : lost of virginity, implied bimbo reader, implied overstimulation
your pink hairband twisted as your hair turned into a ponytail as you sitting in front of the mirror in satisfaction. you combed your hair neatly, placing a little ribbon and hair clips as well. "haru, do i look okay?" you turned your sugar daddy of six months. he looked up from his phone and smiled "you look good, baby. you should use the lipstick i bought you the other day, i like the color on your lips" he said.
a few months back, you were a struggling college student who desperately needed money so in coincidence, he offered to be your sugar daddy. in return, he wanted you to be his company. despite the weird looks and opinions of your relationship, you and sanzu had a quite stable relationship that hasn't evolved anywhere yet. not even sex.
"haru, how come you never want to have sex with me?" you pouted, playing with your hair "is it because i'm too young for you?" you asked again. he smiled warmly "do you want to? i'm not sure if that's what you really want, losing your virginity hurts you know?" he huskily whispered the last sentence that made send a jolt to your core. "i mean.. if it's you, i don't think it would hurt, would it?"
oh, you were a brat and a temptress mixed up in one luscious body. sanzu had to grip on the chair he's sitting on to stay calm and gentle, making you afraid and panic isn't one of his goals. "well, it would still." he said "but we can start slow, do you want that?" your face instantly lit up and you hopped in excitement "let's have sex!" you squealed, sanzu having to hide his erection.
sanzu was intending to be gentle but hell, the sight of your pink skirt hitched to your waist and your pastel panties he has bought last week already slightly damp is making him dizzy. all he wants is bury his face into your pussy that would definitely frighten you so he slowly caressed your covered cunt, making you whine. "a-ah, haruu.."
sanzu was going to break you slow, build you up again and repeat the same process because you were so pretty, so enticing. "patience.." his tone was stern, one hand on your lower lips and one ever so slightly tapping your clit. he could see the cotton panties you're wearing are getting wetter as he smirked. he bought one finger, inserting slowly to your still covered pussy. he wasn't doing direct penetration, only enough to make you frustrated.
"so wet, baby. soiling all over your panties, huh?" he chuckled, making sure to caress your sensitive bud and you started to pant. "n-no.. p-please.. need something inside.." you mewled sweetly.
however sanzu shook his head "no baby, we agreed to do it slowly. have your dumb, little brain forgot that?" he teased as your toes curl, wetness pooling the center of your panties. the dampness was apparent as sanzu pulled out his long cock from his pants. you drooled at the sight of it but he held you down "nu-uh, not today sweet doll" he cooed.
he tapped the head on your soiled panties as you jolted at the sensation, his hard dick making barely any friction towards your pussy. it was something else and you imagined how good it must feel when it's inside. "haru.. need it.. please.. promise it won't hurt" you bit your lip.
sanzu was quiet as he pushed your panty aside, inserting his hard rod in the fabric and caressed your lower lips with his slit. he teased, making sure to coat his cock with your precum. he slowly thrusted againts your entrance, not making any penetration yet. "harruuu! put it in!" you whimpered, rocking your hips
"patience, i said we'll take it slow" he hissed. you let out breathy moans as you felt his head barely grazing your heat, just barely making friction. you're losing your mind, your senses as you feel like you'd do anything for at least an inch of his dick. "haru please.. just the tip? please?" your eyes were teary as drooled dribbled down ok your chin, your nose was sniffling as your neat hair earlier has already loosened up.
sanzu was endeared, the sight of his broken doll was enough for him to finally give her what she wants. "just the tip" he said, slowly penetrating your hymen and into your cunt. it was deep shallow thrusts but you were moaning, your voice cracked as you smiled. "ah! so good! i wanna have sex with you everyday haruuu! everyday!" you squealed as he thrusted inside, giving your virgin pussy a stretch as he rubbed your clit to help you loosen up.
"pretty doll. you're mine, you hear that? so pretty, all for me" he said, a tinge of sadist in his voice but you didn't cared. you could feel the head of his cock barging into your insides as you felt yourself drowning, tongue lolled out in pure lust. "damn it! so pretty, all broken for me!" sanzu grunted, adding his pace as your thighs cramped and your cunt tighten. "cumming!" you joyfully announced as sanzu pulled out his cock, spraying white cum on your panties.
he smiled with satisfaction with your dazed face, as you twitched and babbled words. "haruu.. haru.." you mumbled. he kissed your forehead, softly caressing your body. "you did well, baby"
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tricktack · 9 months
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A list of (almost) everything MatPat got wrong about GenLoss:
"Generation Loss is an ARG." Generation Loss is actually quite transparent about not being an ARG. It has elements similar to an ARG, such as audience interaction, but there is a clear barrier between the story/characters and real life. One of the defining features of an ARG is the lack of this barrier.
"Ranboo is the Founder and orchestrated the entire show from start to finish."
"The teasers ask the audience to kill the Founder, and the finale ends with the audience voting to kill Ranboo, implying they are the same person." It was heavily foreshadowed that there are many generations to come, and also confirmed by cc!Ranboo several times. Killing the Founder in Generation 1 wouldn't make sense. That, and just because Ranboo died doesn't automatically prove that he's the Founder.
"Ranboo always makes choices that keep the performance on track." He is being controlled to do so. One of the very first details you can possibly notice in the series is that when the mask comes on, Ranboo is not in control of his actions.
"Ranboo doesn't participate in searching [in ep 2]." The Showfall announcement on twitter says that interactive elements are limited on episode 2, giving Ranboo no commands or agency of his own to actually help other than the limited audience polls. also the mask was reset in episode 2, placing him under even stricter control.
"Ranboo knows what is happening and will do anything to keep the show going." Since the very beginning teasers, Ranboo has been labeled The Hero. This name alone makes it obvious that Showfall has intended for Ranboo to be the protagonist, and thus the one that makes it to the end. Again, he's under control- even if he knows what's going to happen, none of his reactions or choices were truly his.
"Ranboo locked Sneeg in the basement, that's how he knows Sneeg was there for 6 months." There's no evidence that Sneeg actually was there for 6 months, given that the cabin is canonically just a set that they use. All we have to go on for this is a throwaway line (which GenLoss is full of throwaway lines). And Ranboo somehow "knowing" how long Sneeg was there isn't a direct implication of guilt, again considering that it's the set of a show.
"The Puzzler is scared of Ranboo." The Puzzler is the Bad-At-Being-A-Villain archetype. Him going "woops sorry" when he almost accidentally kills Ranboo is not him being "scared" of Ranboo. It's him being the goofy villain that Showfall wrote him to be. (Sidenote: Interesting that Matpat was implying that Jerma may have flubbed some lines, when the entire point of his character was to be as incompetent as possible. Saying the wrong thing was kind of... the point of the character.)
"Ranboo believes he is doing everything to help humanity." Yeah he lost me there. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.
"Ranboo's death was staged" I'll give this one the benefit of the doubt. He may not have actually died, or he may have been brought back, but it's not because he was actually the one behind it all.
"The cooking show cutaways prove that Ranboo is still alive." The cooking show cutaways are obviously prerecorded, even in-universe. You have to consider that even in-universe this is still a live show. They would've had to have been prerecorded anyway. Even if these cutaways had been filmed after the fact for a prerecorded show, the cutaways still could've been recorded between episodes, as canonically there was a day in between each episode (where it's implied that characters go into an idle state).
Using cc!Ranboo's explaination about the rerecorded/remastered aspects of the Founder's Cut as evidence that gl!Ranboo is manipulating the footage. This would be a very interesting take on the idea and definition of Generation Loss as a concept, however cc!Ranboo has stated many times before that the Founder's Cut is solely to get past the limitations of the live setting. It also would not make sense that gl!Ranboo would be the one manipulating the footage, but we're too deep down the "Ranboo Is The Founder" rabbit hole to talk about that.
"The Founder's Cut will replace the original VODs, slowly changing the details until a distorted copy is left." Again, cool concept. But Ranboo has already confirmed that this is not the direction that the series is going. The VODs will still be up and the Founder's Cut is not meant to replace them, just make them easier to watch.
Conclusion: MatPat focuses too much on throwaway lines, in-universe jokes, and whiteboards, and ignores blatant visual clues such as the mask, morse code, and... just about everything really... for 16 minutes.
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darubyprincx · 3 months
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hi
i have some ideas about halos.
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so heres the idea: someone with a strong connection to their god (or demon or whatever it is that theyre worshiping) gets a halo from their affinity with said god. these are granted specifically by the god themself so not everyone has them. depending on their specific relationship with their god, the halo will appear in different places!
here's my expanded ideas for a few, as introduced in the drawing above:
classic halo
its your standard everyday floating above the head halo, nothing special about it
normally granted to priests
collar halo
hovers around neck
for followers who are Really, Really dedicated to their god. i mean really dedicated. "i will do anything even if i don't know what 'anything' actually is" level dedicated. you know how dogs are, right?
some wear it casually, some wear it like a noose, some wear it like a necklace.
basically works like a normal collar but can only be manipulated at the god in question's behest
armband halo
hovers around bicep, which arm it is depends on the follower's dominant (or preferred if they're ambidextrous) hand.
amputee followers are rare but in the case that someone doesn't have an arm the halo hovers at an angle above their shoulder instead
generally reserved for generals and other military leaders within the god's army if they have one
the hand
appears around the follower's dominant wrist
only seen on those who carry out the plans and will of their god down on earth. gods tend to not get involved in messy stuff so they find someone to do the dirty work for them down on the mortal plane. is also a play on the phrase "right hand man"
voice
appears around tongue
i feel like this one speaks for itself, really (HA).
not for proselytizers- only for those who speak directly for their god
the follower in question may be selectively or forcibly mute the rest of the time. it varies depending on the person and the god.
eyes
also quite self-evident. appears as a glowing band around the followers' irises (or iris). if they don't have eyes then the halo settles around the level of their eye sockets instead.
whatever they see, their god can also. this isn't a 24/7 thing unless said god chooses it to be. still, they tend to not get a lot of privacy
there have been a couple of blind followers designated their god's Eyes on Earth, which is pretty damn cool if you ask me (and also more than a little bit fucked up)
ears
halo manifests vertically around an ear
works the same way as the eye halo does but for hearing instead
the exalt
rarest
only seen with gods and possessed followers
appears as a filled-in circle of light behind the god or follower's head- if you're familiar with catholic iconography you'll understand what i mean. if not, just look up the wikipedia page for halos (religious iconography) and scroll the examples of christian art including halos
followers are rarely possessed by their gods because commonly gods have enough power to manifest a form on their own and need no vessel. a god in physical form may hide or obscure their halo at will. however, in the case that the god is too weak to assume a form of their own, they will sometimes take over a follower's body to intervene directly in a situation. the follower's body will assume the halo in this case and it cannot be hidden
shoutout to christianity for giving me the idea for this one. i got my problems with the jesus fandom but their character designs fuckin slap
some notes:
followers of one god can only have one halo at a time. polytheists can have several at once, one for each god, although this is extremely rare
followers with halos can naturally see each other's halos. those without have to look harder and nonbelievers (of any god) often cannot see them at all
i didn't intend the collar halo idea to be interpreted as a sex thing but if you want to do that then you can ig. im not a cop
yes the halos are customized depending on the god! some of them put time and effort into it. most don't though
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astaroth1357 · 1 year
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The Brothers are Damsels in Distress!!
I was flicking through my feed, saw something and went: "But what if Rapunzel??"
Content: Hints of Fairytale AU, but on crack
Scenario: One morning, through utterly inexplicable means, a portal opens up and drops one of the brothers into a cottage-style tower straight out of a fairy tale. The whole room is enchanted so they can't break out on their own. Their only means of communication are their phones and a crystal ball they can use to see what the MC and others are doing.
How are they taking this?
~♡♡♡~
Lucifer
This man is livid. Fuming. Almost apoplectic.
He has no idea what being has decided to put him in this position, but he's already planning on making them Cerberus' next chewtoy the moment he finds his freedom.
After establishing that he can't teleport out, break the walls, jump out the window, tunnel through the floorboards, or just blow up the room out of spite... he finally accepts his fate.
Lucifer... is miserable. He's doing his best to conserve his phone battery so he can still coordinate with his brothers from a distance, but watching them stumble around cluelessly through the crystal ball is honestly painful. He quite frequently shouts at the feed like a football dad screaming at a TV.
He puts all his hopes in MC and Dia coming up with something because everyone else is mostly useless... There were multiple instances where he just holds his head in his hands, resigning to the idea of being stuck there until he's just a dried out skeleton.
Even if they finally get to him, he won't be happy. He'll be humiliated by the whole affair and trying to anything in his power to save face and get out on his own as much as possible. Anyone who values their lives will forget that it ever happened in the future.
Bonus:
MC: *standing under the tower*
MC: Lucifer! Lucifer!! Let down your-gah!!
*they rub their head and feel something wet hit their fingers*
MC: Was... was that a tomato?!
MC: You know what, fuck you man!! Go help yourself!! 🤬
Mammon
He's flipping out.
An extrovert like Mammon trapped in a room like that all alone?? He'll go stir crazy in three days tops!
It took twenty minutes and 3 selfies for anyone besides the MC to believe that he was trapped in there. ... Then MC raking his brothers over the coals for them to actually start treating it like a priority. He really didn't do it to himself this time, dammit!!
Mammon's ADHD brain is already going mad after a few hours of nothing to do. MC gets piles upon piles of texts ranging from, "Are ya any closer yet??" to "MC, if ya can't get me out of here, take care of Goldie for me... my car too."
They have to reassure him multiple times that he would not, in fact, die in there if they could help it. Though after his phone goes dead from the constant spam, they do start to worry...
If there was any bright side to the situation, Mammon gets to watch his treasured MC absolutely tear his brothers a new one if any one of them so much as think about giving up or postponing the search. Their anger is truly frightening... so good thing he isn't there! Ha!!
When they finally find him, he's never lept for the MC so fast... Literally. He literally jumps. He wants out of there FAST.
Bonus:
MC: *standing under the tower*
MC: Mammon! Mammon!! Let down your-
Mammon: *leaps from the tower, knowing they'll find some way to catch him*
Mammon: FREEDOM!!!
MC: Oh dear God, don't just jump!!! 😫
Leviathan
Panicking like crazy and running around in circles. Can you even comprehend how many premieres he's going to miss like this?? The spoilers!!!
After the MC gets a hold of him through the phone and they tell him to hang tight and if he figures out where he is to let them know.
So uh... He had intends to keep his phone usage down to a minimum so he could conserve the battery life. However, he figures he could at least do his mobile game check-ins and the next thing he knows his phone dies during a weekly dungeon....
Honestly? His soul might have died along with it.
He spends a lot of time staring at the crystal ball, hoping in vain that one of his brothers will watch TV or something, anything that could give him something to do.
That was his only way of communicating with the others and, more importantly, the only source of entertainment an otaku like him could have in a room like this! Does he look like a cottagecore enthusiast?? No!!!
If anyone is in his bedroom, he'll try to zoom in on Henry's fishbowl and talk to him to decompress... He already feels like such an idiot for wasting his battery life. Henry, why is he so stupid...?
Yeah, he's going to be bored and moping until somebody comes to find him. But at least he won't mind the isolation as much so they're not too worried about him going crazy in there. He'll be fine... right?
Bouns:
MC: *standing under the tower*
MC: Leviathan! Leviathan!! Let down your-
Levi: *scrambles to the window* MC, DID YOU BRING A CHARGER?!?
MC: PRIORITIES, LEVI!!!
Satan
He is naturally furious, but also weirdly intrigued. Is this like one of those escape rooms MC sometimes talks to him about...?
Much like Lucifer, he quickly finds that trying to break through stuff wouldn't get him anywhere... as the heavy countertop he smashed into smithereens again the wall shows him.
Tantrum out of his system, Satan is probably the most rational the seven. He does his best to communicate to the others where the tower is based on the landmarks he can see, but he also uses his phone sparingly to conserve the battery.
While they all work to track him down, he keeps himself busy by listening to their plans through the crystal ball or searching for any weak points on his own, because what good would just sitting around do him?
He's surprisingly flexible. If the group plans to look for him from above, he sets out cushions on the floor just in case of any falls. If they want to look for him on foot, he makes sure to light as many candles as possible to give them a makeshift beacon to guide them.
By the time that they actually find him, he's already figured out a couple ways to help get him out depending on the possible exit points and has prepared accordingly.
Bonus:
MC: *standing under the tower*
MC: Satan! Satan!! Let down your-eh?
*they watch as a looong chain of tied together sheets, tablecloths, and towels gets tossed from the window, followed by Satan using it to calmly rappel down*
MC: U-uh.... Never mind! I guess you got this. 😅
Asmodeus
Asmo would be living his best life if only anyone could actually see him up there!
Asmo is all down for playing the role of the helpless, beautiful victim in need of rescuing but how is he supposed to pull that off if he's trapped all alone?? There's no attention! No pageantry!!
After getting the situation across to his brothers, he also kills his phone battery by posting selfies and livestreaming the situation to his adoring public. They're so scared for him, but he's not worried. MC will come find him, after all!
By the time they actually arrive to come get him, Asmo has already dolled himself up to play his newfound role perfectly.
After his phone dies, he keeps himself busy in small ways... Like practicing his relieved expression in a mirror for a few hours. Or using the curtains and his sewing skills to make himself just the cutest gown!
MC: *stand under the tower*
MC: Asmodeus! Asmodeus!! Let down your... hair...?
Asmo: ✨️COMING~!!✨️
*the MC watches as yards and yards of beautiful strawberry blonde trusses indeed gets thrown from the window above, all connected to a very hammy Asmo standing on the window sill*
MC: ... It's only been two days, how did you even grow all that?!?
Beelzebub
Very confused, upset, and hungry. Somebody please help him!!
The minute that Beel sends the message that he is trapped somewhere, it was really all hands on deck. MC and Belphie were freaking out of course, but all of his other brothers were just as worried as well. This is Beel here! He's going to be so hungry out there!!
And hungry he is. He went through an entire two weeks worth of rations stored in the room within an hour. By the end of the day, he's so mindlessly hungry that he starts taking bites out of the tables, chairs, and even his phone...
Since he can't use half of a phone, Beel has to watch his brothers work through the crystal ball while he gnats on the drapery, feeling guilty about making them all so worried...
At least this time his brothers don't argue nor fight with each other at all. Everyone understands what the priorities are and they follow whatever roles they are to the letter. They want to find him ASAP and they even take turns comforting Belphie with MC while they search.
By the time they find him, the whole family is willing to bust through the walls with pickaxes if that's what it takes to get to him. He would feel really touched by all of their efforts, but he's just so hungry... need... food.....
Bonus:
MC: *standing under the tower*
MC: Beel! BEEL!! I BROUGHT BURGERS!!!
Beel: MC... s-so hungry.... 😓
MC: You stay right there, don't move a muscle! I'm coming to you!! 😫
Belphegor
... Deja vu, right?
So this isn’t Belphie's first rodeo. He's practically a "stuffed up somewhere he can't escape from" veteran now. Though this place was more... cozy than the attic.
Call it the cow in him, but he's always had a soft spot for cottagecore. It's so homey and comforting, just perfect for lazy naps under fruit trees! The atmosphere is so relaxing...
So he naps. A LOT.
He ends up communicating a lot more sporadically with everyone than the others. Largely due to the long periods of unconsciousness. But like, could you blame him? What was he even supposed to do in there? MC would figure something out again.
Whenever he goes over to check the progress, he shoots out sarcastic texts about his brothers' dumb ideas to pass the time. It's very apparent how unconcerned he is about this from the get-go...
Does he know when they are on their way to get him? Surprisingly yes. Does he manage to stay awake until they show up? Unsurprisingly no. Go figure...
Bonus:
MC: *standing under the tower*
MC: Belphegor! Belphegor!! Let down your hair!
Belphegor: .....
MC: ... Belphie?
Belphegor: .....
MC: Bitch, are you seriously asleep?!
Belphegor: ....zzzZZzzz....
MC: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!
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