#this isolation is killing me

[skinnypaleangryperson]

My life is over

#this isolation is killing me #I've done everything I can genuinely to try to change it too #there's no community left anymore with people that I have anything in common with to talk to about it with

[anneapocalypse]

I absolutely love Urianger's walking-on-water scene, and I think what I love most about it is how much he's trying not to ask for help and what that says about him and where he's at right now.

At first glance it's easy to respond just as Alisaie does, gods above Urianger you have two friends with you who can breathe underwater, just ask, but the thing is he is trying so hard right now not to ask any more of the Warrior of Light than he already has. Look at how different this is from the early game's "Primal needs slaying? Dangerous thing needs doing? The Warrior of Light will do it!" coming from everyone. Urianger in particular is agonizingly aware of how much he has asked of all of his friends but especially Minfilia and the WoL. He knows what they went through to save the First and he knows it was ultimately all because of him that any of the Scions were dragged into this in the first place.

And sure, it's easy to poke fun at him for trying to walk on water rather than learn to swim, as Alphinaud does (and look, the twins have Urianger-roasting privileges, I'm not picking on them), but from another angle, he went and sought the help of the fae again at who knows what cost just to try and get around what I think from his dialogue is a genuine fear of deep water, just so he could handle this himself and not have to lean on his friends any more than he already has. And when it doesn't work, he's obviously embarrassed, not just at the indignity of falling in the water and having to be rescued, but also because he failed at something he's supposed to be good at, magic.

And of course, when Bismarck asks for help with the barnacles, the obvious thing to do is to ask the Warrior of Light and Alisaie. But his pride is still stinging from the previous failure and he just... doesn't want to ask any more of his friends than he has.

If he could, I think it would always be Urianger's instinct to handle everything himself and never involve anyone else, never ask for anything, never be a burden. That might even work if he didn't have an enormous heart that was always trying to help and do the greatest good and save the world--though it still wouldn't be good for him, in the end, because it would just isolate him further. He's still in the process of learning that not only can he not do it all alone, no one wants him to!

(Edited to add: I am still in post-Shadowbringers and haven't played Endwalker yet, so no spoilers please!) Update: I have finished Endwalker, I am FREE.

#urianger augurelt #god he kills me #that unhealthy self-isolation despite the fact that you love and care for people is so relatable #anne plays ffxiv #afk by the aetheryte #shadowbringers spoilers

[amaraudermind]

Anyone else ever thinking about the constant nightmares Dick was having at the beginning of his solo in the nineties(in which he was Robin again and trying to catch a little boy who’s face he could never make out and was always too late) that culminated in the fear gas induced hallucination issue wherein there’s another faceless young boy who eventually introduces himself as Jason

And the dreams were subsequently never brought up again

The closest we got was the hallucination he had in his secret files where he spent the whole time talking to Robin

Because I am. I am thinking about it a lot

#dc #dick grayson #jason todd #the amount that dick blames himself for jason's death while refusing to blame himself for it is astounding. #i think about it so often #because like. he is NOT like 'woe is me if i had only been there this never would've happened' he's not sitting here like #i killed jason. this is my fault. #in fact it's far from it. outwardly everything i've read from the nineties he refuses to think about or talk about jason at ALL #we get these weird isolated moments where the ghost of jason's presence is obviously HERE but even then dick isn't acknowledging it #'there's a boy falling. i never see his face. he's calling out. i never hear what he says.' #'this kid who brings the newspaper is just a kid. i don't know him.' #'i am talking to robin. just robin.' #everywhere you turn dick is surrounded by the idea of jason. he's haunted by him. #but he refuses to see it. he won't let it in #jason is gone and dick can't bring himself to think about it. won't let himself grieve. #lets the guilt he feels about not being around for jason and not knowing about what was going on and not being on the planet #and not letting himself think about the situation or jason at all. lets all of that guilt eat him slowly. lets it fester in his mind #because he can't acknowledge it. but everything he does is because of it

[ladynicte]

It's actually so sad that Ashley can't believe for even a second that she's good enough for Andrew to like.

Like she just cannot believe that he would stay with her if he had any other options of any kind at all it's kinda depressing to think about

#gonna make an aspd post about it because whos gonna stop me uh #but yeah shes so convinced she's gotta completely isolate him like girl he already liked you the most before you killed all his friends #the coffin of andy and leyley #ashley graves #andrew graves #luna says

[paper-mario-wiki]

There's such an interesting cyber-anthropological phenomenon in feeling a communal pressure to act a certain way, or use the platform a certain way, when joining a new online space. Not in terms of the types of opinions or political views that are deamed acceptable, but in terms of specifics of etiquette and posting formats.

Making a Tumblr post that sounds "like a Twitter user" is met with scorn or derision a lot of the time. And when asking someone why they react like that, typically the answer is some form of "that kind of comedy doesn't work here" or "it doesn't sound right to post like that on this website", which is essentially just "it doesn't fit with the traditions I learned in this specific place".

I will always find the ways social media platforms evolve naturally like societies interesting.

#text #random thought #before i withdrew from college (isolation and quarantine was killing me) i was writing my thesis on cyber anthropology #which is the fastest growing and most overlooked branch of anthropology #my thesis wasnt specifically about this #it was about the essential archival of information regarding internet societies #specifically putting forward the somewhat radical idea that any internet society with more than 100 people should have an archivist #and any group with more than 1000 should have a dedicated historian to track the history of the group and its culture #honestly twitter culture should have literal books written archiving and documenting the many things that happen in my opinion #sounds silly but it is a pillar of our current international society's communication #this is what i think at least

[saionjeans]

what i love about mikage is that we are constantly being told that he is an aloof genius who nobody can understand because his mind is simply so much more advanced than everyone else’s, but we also never see him do or say anything actually intelligent, and all we really do see him do is desperately long for affection and companionship and do everything in his power to strive to preserve the genuine human connection he seeks.

with miki we are actually given a reason to believe that he is a child prodigy: he’s good at piano, he’s good at math, he’s knowledgeable about eggs. i’m not saying that’s in any way definitive proof of his “genius” (anthy is also good at piano, utena is also good at math, and knowing the basics of what an egg is isn’t really anything to write home about either) but like. we can believe that he’s smart for a child.

akio positions himself as something of an astronomer, but we are also provided enough evidence into his astronomical insight to realize, before he even admits that he doesn’t really care about stars, that he’s not very knowledgeable about astronomy. and that makes sense for his character too, because why would he care about having knowledge that he cannot use to exploit and dominate others?

but mikage is neither shown to be intelligent nor unintelligent, we are merely told that he is such a genius that it isolates him from his peers, more like a robot than a human. and so it doesn’t actually matter whether or not that’s true, because all that matters is that he’s special in this way, and that conditional power he is afforded through his status as genius is what matters to his role within the narrative.

the figure of the genius is not an exceptional figure in and of itself, but only due to how such a title is positioned in relation to others, and the referent (the ontologically meaningless designation of “intelligence”) is actually beside the point. and what’s more, to be afforded that “specialness” is actually harmful, because it insists on isolating you from your peers for completely arbitrary reasons.

genius is not a pre-discursive, discrete quality, but merely another notion used as a tool to isolate, groom, and exploit people from a very young age within a hegemonic capitalist paradigm that values production over the human cost of the labor necessary to produce it, and/or the patriarchal paradigm that values an idealized fantasy of power over the violence necessary to maintain that system.

not that i’m excusing killing one hundred boys or whatever, but is it any wonder he saw no other way to move forward than to burn the entire edifice down?

#u #mikage #manalysis #analysis #akio #miki #‘or whatever’ bc talking in concrete terms about what mikage did or didn’t do is so nebulous to me #like did he even kill people……. who can say #those episodes fuck w my brain lol #but like. the designation of genius is smth i always find so fascinating #i love how empathetically it’s approached w mikage #like it doesn’t MATTER whether or not he’s a genius because what MATTERS is that such a status is isolating #and he craves connection even as everyone constantly establishes that he must not want it!!! #but he does!!!! he does!!!!

[hood-ex]

I once read a book where a character who had just one of everything - one fork, one plate, etc. - because he considered more than that just pointless stuff he'd eventually have to move told another that she made him want to have two plates, and that might be the most Dick and Donna vibes I've ever gotten out of anything not actually about Dick and Donna.

Well now I'm thinking about Dick buying two mugs and keeping one for himself and giving the other to Donna as a gift, but Dick's mug eventually burns along with the rest of Dick's apartment during the Blockbuster fiasco, so then after Donna dies and there's a funeral reception at her apartment, Dick finds the twin mug in Donna's kitchen, and he takes it up to the roof with him and cries.

Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files

#god that scene is so strong bc everything diana is saying clearly reflects dick's own thoughts and feelings #he feels responsible. he should've protected her. she was his sister. she was his soulmate. #and it KILLS me like nothing else that the other titans are inside talking to each other and remembering donna #but dick is ALONE and he chooses to be alone #and that isolation is so good in the sense that it reflects dick's belief that he shouldn't be on a team. he shouldn't be with family. #he should be alone because if he's alone then he can't be responsible for anyone else dying #and it's like... #after lilith and donna died--tim asked dick what they should do now #and dick swung away from tim and said ''i don't know. but whatever it is--i think we better do it alone.'' #and fuuuuck. dc doesn't do a lot of things right but they sure as hell did This right #dick's darker/colder demeanor. his self-isolation. and all of it pointing toward lilith and donna's deaths #they made sure we knew that he was like this because of that one terrible day and it makes me insaneee #Dick Grayson #Donna Troy #the bestiiiies #anon

[every-dayiwakeup]

The way Billy acts in the Holloway house mirrors how he acted when he was around Karen in that same season.

We don't ever see teen Billy's real smile, except for when he's on the court.

This smile is relaxed and carefree.

For example, his smiles here are all fake. Forced. There's an overly polite expression he wears, and it's shown in how he talks, too.

In both cases:

his facial expressions are controlled, except they're caused by different things.

he's been put in a position where he has his autonomy stripped from him.

his eyes look like they're screaming for help.

His job and car are two things that grant him what he cannot get at his house (which would be some freedom and control of his environment/himself). Karen takes that away from him, and so does the Mind Flayer. She shows up at his work with her friends and preys on him. He drives to meet her and gets caught in another predator's web.

And after, when he's driving his car, he's no longer behind the wheel. It's his car, and he has to sit there while he's being taken control of.

#billy hargrove #tw karen wheeler #billy hargrove meta #it just makes me so sad #angry too #jfc #cant let billy have anything huh #not a safe place to go #not his car #hes isolated even before his possession #you could have a scene with the holloways getting killed but... not neil? #most of the time hes taken advantage of abused in pain objectified preyed on and/or triggered #of course hes angry!!! #whenever he gets a sliver of control its snatched from him and used against him in some way #even in s2 hes being ordered to search for max and take her places #tbh thats probably the only reason neil allowed him to have a car

[bruciemilf]

I think an underappreciated motive for Bruce / Batman to not murder the Joker after he killed Jason is that it would, in a sense, mean Joker won. Like, yeah the Joker would be dead but he would also be laughing himself silly that he was the one who made the Bat break his code.

Bruce sparing the Joker was not because he didn't love Jason enough to kill him, but because he refused to let the Joker take anything else from him; he took his son, but he would not take his honor, his morality, his code. He would not give Joker the satisfaction.

Yeah! I think, ultimately, DC said it best, -- one death, two deaths, three deaths, -- whatever you pick, everybody loses. It was a no win situation from the start and specifically designed to have no satisfactory ending

#my thing is -- like. jason is such a self fledgelating character at heart (to me he does not have a victim complex like many ppl say #but i can completely get why that's a character trait ppl assign to him) #that even if bruce did kill joker (which he did in the comics multiple times. but everyone leaves that part out) #i think jason would ultimately feel horrible enough to isolate himself either way #and bruce already lost a son and there's truly nothing that can heal that. yes jason is here. but when bruce buried him #he wasn't. #but that's because of the same factors that affect canon too. it was never about the clown #it was about bruce and jason #bruce wayne #dc comics #meta

[motheroftheantichrist]

Currently thinking about that throbbing feeling under your skin that you get after the pain from a blow has faded. How long do you think it lasted for Mark after the glass coffin trap where Strahm had punched him in the face? Was that the last part of him to go numb as he descended below in the glass coffin? Was it the last part of his humanity to slip away? The dull throbbing of the last human contact that mattered? Do you think he missed it?

#saw franchise #saw v #mark hoffman #peter strahm #coffinshipping #glass coffin trap #In contrast #Lawrence Gordon can still feel the tingling of Adam's hand on his shoulder when he returns to the bathroom so many years later #chainshipping #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #Kill me now or I'll keep going #The sheer isolation of the apprentice lifestyle makes touch a fascinating concept to dive into with them #You can't tell me Hoffman didn't cherish that punch

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Imo Jason is “irredeemable” by default because I don’t see what he needs redemption from.

#I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but joining this fandom made me fucking hate the word ‘redemption’ #no person I’ve seen who is in love with the concept knows the who what where when why or how it should work in a story #apparently it isn’t just themes and tropes anymore people don’t understand the proper use of the word ‘villain’ #kelseethe #also hilarious: Jason should recieve sensitivity training HR style from Bruce ‘I’m the government and children are my cronies’ wayne #if Jasons headstrong/‘answers to no one’ attitude towards vigilantism is what makes people think he's villainous #I hate to be a broken record but the baddie you’re describing is Bruce #nobody thinks he’s a villain for only trusting in his own methods/self and repeatedly isolating himself #and on top of that gaslighting and hurting people around him in attempts to do what HE **thinks** is the right thing #you people always thought *him* heroic not problematic for all these traits #the only difference is Jason isn’t psychologically abusive & controlling #yet he’s still the bad guy just cause he liberally kills folks in the crime business. #l'd argue goth ham war is the b*tman story to remind you of everything that makes Bruce authentically himself #Idk how to tell you that Bruce mentally compromising/crippling his son in a twisted attempt to ‘save him from himself’ #is perfectly in line with slitting the same son’s throat because he couldn’t stand to see him avenge his own killer #and yk what a redemption arc could be interesting for someone like Bruce #because he rarely questions or doubts his choices esp wrt Jason. no matter how morally dubious they may be #I think it would be quite fun to witness his extremely restricted worldview be challenged/shattered he deserves that humbling experience

[treedecor]

I wonder what it feels like to have people in your life who actually want you around, lol

#alone #miserable #depressed #everyone hates me #worthless #hopeless #anxious #tw #not good enough #it never gets better #suicide #please kill me #isolation #i don't belong here #sad #stupid #i hate myself #unwanted #unlovable #hopelessly alone #i hate my life #i hate everything #death #ana #depressing

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐 #to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys' #and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

[morzowo]

so one character got to learn how to live again, how to reenter society after traumatizing event that will forever impact his life, got to heal and rebuild his relationship with his family even estranged father, reconnected with his old friends and was able to create reliable support system of people that also grew throughout this healing process and now can understand him more and be there for him, got to graduate and start his own business and now can even give inspirational speeches to help others

and the other one had to leave two closest people to him that were his only support after his family death bc 'friends' he had before weren't type of people worth reconnecting with, move out of his country abandoning everything he knew his whole life just to * checks notes * start a job he didn't really want and the main reason he needed higher pay was to establish financial stability for one of two people who he had to leave and that no longer wanted to be with him

okay yea okay sure both cases are about personal 'growth'

#last twilight #to clarify it's more about time skip and the talk at the end of part 2 bc yea ofc mhok also changed throughout whole series in general #the fact that 'growth' for mhok was equal to getting a job just doesn't sit well with me #his sister killed herself bc of their financial problems and then they put sole responsibility on him for providing for himself and day #and it felt like it was about more than just day's disability #like ironically his mechanic friend offered more support and understanding than most of the other characters #what kind of 'growth' is uprooting yourself and leaving everyone behind when you are still in vulnerable state and need someone to rely on #it would make sense in other story with other character but here it just hurts #i do have some other problems with the series as a whole but nothing that wasn't said already #everyone is angry at part 4 but end of part 2 was the breaking point for me #moving out for work is extremely lonely and alienating experience especially when it's not even to a country you particularly care about #what is the lesson here with mhok's plot line? #to completely isolate yourself to heal from your trauma somehow without anyone close to you? #and oh yea job being the most important thing for 'personal growth' actually? #in hotel in hawaii nonetheless... #i'm getting so tired of these series not being able to stick the landing fr

[danothan]

finally finished flash rebirth vol 4 after a year+ of stalling and…

myeah that shit was scary. like tearing up, heart drop, pit in my stomach-scary

yes even his pathetic ass line. ESPECIALLY his pathetic ass line

#killing me w the parasocial + stalker combo here #i’ve had nightmares like this #dc #the flash #eobard thawne #barry allen #flash rebirth #panels #‘i was never alone.’ punctuating the running theme of isolation (both external + self-inflicted) made me feel so sick #ive never read any other vol in this run and i rly should #like i started w this one. this was my first dc comic ever lmao what an introduction #and to only finish it a year later #‘why did it take you a year to finish it’ bc i was reading the halbarry chapter over and over every time i picked it back up okay. #i gotta stop reading at random like this im like a grazer but for books

[yoursforest]

just heard an artist say you shouldnt be following any other artists...so you can stay original....that is a very interesting point of view that i absolutely disagree with

#i feel like being that isolated would kill me...it would feel so lonely #i am inspired by other artists and i feel like i understand myself better only because i can see through the eyes of others #i see artwork as mirrors that reflect you #without other peoples mirrors i dont think i could see myself or understand myself #to myself i am an alien uncapable of recognizing myself