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miekasa · 3 years

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any dad!levi hcs for father’s day today🥺🤲🏽

Absolutely!! I’ll do this I guess using the kids I have for him in my parent au? If you’ve read that, you know about Holden, but there are two more so prepare to meet them :’) happy father’s day to Levi <33

To begin with, you guys would plan to have your kids (to the best of your abilities; you were intentionally trying to have kids at a time when you both knew you were ready for them.

Although accidents to do happen, and Levi would welcome an unplanned child all the same; that being said, if you’re both want a family, you would have discussed it beforehand (which is to a degree, is a lot about mental preparation for himself).

In his perfect world, he’d have two daughters. They’d be equal parts him and you, and they’d be quiet and curious and lovely and life would be good. He’d spend his days with you and his two tiny daughters, raising his little family and doing all he could for his favorite girls.

So, naturally, he does get two daughters, but also a son in between; and the latter two kids are far from easy in their own unique ways lmfao

You might have already met Holden, and she’s the oldest in my dad Levi au, and the most like him. Levi’s dark hair, his grey eyes, his overall unimpressed visage, his knack for cleanliness and organization—down to the way she holds her sippy cups, she’s damn near Levi’s doppleganger.

Holden is somewhere between 3.5-4 years old before you have your second kid, and in that time is when Levi confirms he thinks he was cut out to be a certified Girl Dad.

Both Levi and Holden take quality father-daughter time very seriously. It’s impossible to change plans once they’re set: “Daddy, you promised we would go to the famer’s market on Sunday. You pinky promised.” And Levi wouldn’t dare break a pinky promise, so he makes time for it.

Levi doesn’t play favorites with his kids, but there is something special about Holden as his first born. He’s constantly in awe of just how much she resembles him. Four years into raising her and it’s still hard to wrap his head around.

Much to his chagrin, Hange and Eren are Holden’s favorite adults. Maybe Levi understands the admiration for Hange, but Eren... come on, Holden, you’re breaking his heart at that point.

It’s almost out of character for your daughter to be so openly affectionate about someone outside of your immediate family, but she really loves having Eren as a babysitter; and you know she’s playing favorites, because she remains neutral on Armin, even though he and Eren always babysit as a duo.

She doesn’t have a favorite grandparent, but Kenny spoils her the most. Levi tells him he shouldn’t, but when has Kenny ever listened to Levi. The man isn’t a fan of kids, but he thinks yours and Levi’s are pretty cool, and Holden is about the coolest 4 year old he could ever meet.

When she was learning to walk, Levi’s favorite thing was holding her little hand and guiding her around. Even now, when she can stand perfectly fine on her own two feet, Levi loves it when she reaches for his hand; Holden is a pretty independent kid, even at 4 years old, so Levi never takes affection from her for granted.

They’re best friends and Holden goes everywhere with him. Their favorite father-daughter activity is going to the grocery store, and Levi lets Holden point to and assess her favorite fruits and veggies while she sits happily in the shopping cart.

Sometimes there are other parents struggling with a kid throwing a temper tantrum. Levi simply clicks his teeth, while Holden shakes her little head. “That’s pretty embarassing, daddy,” she says, looking at the poor parent with an unamused glare that rivals Levi’s. He nods and pushes the cart past the scene, “Tell me about it, kid.”

Your second kid is a boy, and he looks more like you than Levi, but manages to have Levi’s signature hair color and pout when things aren’t going his way.

He comes as a shock to both you and Levi, because after your ultrasound, you were told you were having another girl. Turns out, they’d accidentally mixed up your files, and you were having a boy instead, which you do not find out until your mid-term check up a few months later. Cue Levi buffering like an old computer.

Kiaan is welcomed all the same, even tho Levi is still in disbelief; he was mentally preparing to have another daughter on his hands. He puts more pressure on himself with his son; not that he wasn’t trying his best to be a parent to Holden, but any insecurities he might have about being a good come out when your son is born, because Levi has no “man of the house” example to follow from.

You reassure him that your son will turn out to be just fine, and raising him the way you raised Holden, and would have raised another daughter is perfectly acceptable. Of course Levi rises to the occasion after the initial shock; he’s determined to be the dad to his son that he never had.

Where Holden is more reserved, Kiaan likes to talk and babble about anything whenever and wherever he can, to whoever is around. It’s not uncommon for you or Levi to find your son completely entertained by telling a story out loud to himself while playing with his toys.

Loves to rope Levi into making his toys interact and have “conversations” with each other, and Kiaan genuinely thinks his dad is hilarious, even if he doesn’t completely understand what he’s saying. It always makes Levi smile to hear Kiaan try and copy the bass and tone of his voice when he’s mocking him.

Kiaan loves messing with his dad, and Levi’s all talk, so of course he lets him. He’ll be on a Zoom meeting for work, and Kiaan will be sat in his lap, running little toy cars across the desk in front of him, or tugging on Levi’s hair, and Levi just lets him. It makes quite the cute sight, and Hange has definitely taken a few screen recordings.

That being said, your son is more of a mama’s boy than anything. Kiaan loves messing with Levi, but if you’re in the room, there’s a 95% chance he’ll be on your lap or at your side shadowing whatever you’re doing.

Kiaan is a universal copycat tho, so whatever you, Levi, or Holden say or do, he tries for himself. This makes him especially susceptible to repeating Levi’s foul language and bad habits than Holden. (“Kiaan, you can’t sleep on the chair, it’s not good for your back.” “But daddy sleeps on the chairs sometimes!” “...Alright kid, you got me there.”)

He’s a very loving kid with his words, too, always thanking people and proclaiming his love, so he doesn’t exactly have a “favorite” adult or babysitter, but he does get particularly excited when Erwin or Farlan come around. He feels especially tall when Erwin lets him sit on his shoulders, and Farlan always entertains his story-telling.

He’s a sucker for his grandma though, and gives Kuchel a million kisses whenever she comes around. Does not let go over her for the entire time she’s over at your house, and will sit on her lap throughout dinner.

The most affectionate child, so where Holden only likes holding hands, Kiaan loves cuddling with you and Levi, and likes to be held whenever possible. Levi spoils him a little too much, and more often than not, if you’re walking outside for more than two hours, Kiaan will end up on Levi’s shoulders or in your arms.

Your last kid is another girl, and, yeah she’s just a baby no older than a few months, but Levi can’t help but think she’s especially tiny, and he can’t help but to look at her and hold her whenever possible. Your baby girl also leaves Levi a little dumbstruck because she manages to look like a combination of you and his mother.

As she grows, it becomes apparent that you’ve got another daddy’s girl on your hands. Doesn’t matter if you’re literally breast feeding her, Aria will throw a tantrum if she’s separated from Levi for more than an hour.

The good news is, her sleep cycle is as irregular as Levi’s, so he’s got someone to keep him company when everyone else has gone to bed for the evening. Unfortunately, this also means Aria naps a lot during the day, which leaves Levi a little bored since Holden is old enough to be in school full-time, and Kiaan is gone for at least a portion of the day.

So, he would never tell you, but sometimes he wakes Aria up from her naps just a little bit early to spend more time with her (and cure his boredom). Having an infant trying to grab at his hair with her ravioli sized baby fists while he tries to cook lunch certainly makes the task more difficult, but it also adds welcomed color to his day.

You and Levi have to hold Aria constantly when she’s awake or else she’ll cry (although, if you leave her in the arms of her siblings, she does settle down, too); that, or she’ll find her tiny baby hands somewhere they shouldn’t be. Like dipped in a jar of strawberry jam. Or peanut butter. Or both.

Levi talks to his kids like he would any other adult, so it’s not uncommon to find him brewing tea with a baby strapped to his chest, narrating the steps to good tea-making out loud to her for her to hear. He swears she can understand him, and he attributes Holden and Kiaan’s growing vocabularies, and the early ages at which they started speaking to this.

Aria will be in her little chest strap thing while Levi’s cooking dinner, and he’ll look down at her like, “Alright, we’re gonna julienne your carrots today. Yesterday we cubed them, but you’ve got grabby hands, so this will give you more room to work with.”

Kiaan loves holding Aria and honestly just being around her, and you and Levi think it’s adorable how he loves to play with her, and how he knows to be gentle with her. He shares a room with her, and loves sharing his bedtime story times, so you or Levi will read them to sleep together.

Holden isn’t crazy about babies, but she’s a good older sister, and Aria seems to be obsessed with her. She crawls and scoots towards her if given the opportunity, and Holden will always look to you or Levi before attempting to hold or lift her up, as if asking permission. She’ll pat Aria’s head to get her to stop crying, or let her play with her hands.

Levi thinks one of the best parts about being a dad is seeing the different dynamics and relationships between your kids. Holden isn’t most physically or verbally affectionate, but she’s still compassionate, and Kiaan looks up to her; and Kiaan is the perfect middle ground, knowing when it’s appropriate to bother (affectionate) Holden, and when to give her space, and curiously hovers around his baby sister, too.

#anonymous #dad levi dad levi dad levi dad levi!!!!!!!!#levi x reader #levi fluff #aot x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi smut #aot imagines

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dilly-oh · 3 years

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The Office War

Kakashi had been stealing his pens again, Iruka was certain of it. His particular favorite was sitting right there out in the open on that bastard's desk, the orange one with the ugly troll cap that'd been a present from Naruto, as well as several others he'd bought at his own personal expense because the quality of pens the company provided for employees was a damn joke. Iruka had standards.

Those are my fucking pens, douche-bag, Iruka thought as he sat at his desk, seething with righteous fury. Get your own.

He could see the smarmy asshole's hair poking up out of his cubicle, gray and spikey and in desperate need of brushing. As he watched, his computer chair tipped back and Kakashi came into view, lazy-eyed and tapping one of Iruka's own pens against his weird medical face-mask in thought.

Just let it go, Iruka told himself before he could get truly riled up. He didn't need another talk with HR after the incident with Genma eating his lunches. That had gotten pretty out of hand - there had almost been a lawsuit involved. It's just a few pens, right? Nothing to start a fight over. It's not a big deal.

And then Kakashi poked the pen under his mask and started chewing.

That did it.

Time to confront the bastard. With passive-aggressive guilt-tripping.

Iruka stood up from his cubicle and sauntered over as nonchalantly as possible.

“Hey, Kakashi. What's up?” he greeted. Kakashi gave a distracted grunt in reply, eyes glued to his computer screen. “Sorry, can I borrow a pen?” Iruka went on, baring his teeth in challenge more than smiling. “Mine seem to be...missing.”

“Uh-huh, yeah, sure,” Kakashi said, immediately handing him the one from his mouth, covered in teeth-marks and spit. Iruka recoiled in disgust.

“Maybe...not that one. How about...that one?” He pointed to the orange one on his desk. Kakashi shrugged and handed it over. Iruka's eyes narrowed. Time to go in for the kill. “Wow. This pen is really nice. Where did you get it?”

“Dunno.” Kakashi shrugged again. “Picked it up somewhere.”

Okay, screw passive-aggressive. Time for full-on confrontational.

“Okay, cut the shit!” Iruka burst out impatiently. “Those pens are mine! Give them back!” He reached over and quickly snatched them up, hugging them protectively to his chest. “And...” He paused, eyes raking over Kakashi's sloppy work station. “Is that my stapler?”

“Oh, is it?” Kakashi said innocently.

“Yes it is!” Iruka snatched it away as well. “What else of mine do you have?”

“Just some papers and binders and stuff. Oh, and I borrowed your pencil sharpener last week but it crapped out after sharpening my hundredth pencil-”

“That was YOU?!”

“I needed them for a seminar.”

“That thing cost like thirty bucks!”

“I thought you wouldn't mind,” Kakashi said simply.

“Normally, no, I wouldn't, but YOU take things and KEEP them. That I mind. Plus you don't even have the common courtesy to ASK first.” Iruka turned away with a huff. “Don't touch my shit again.”

And with that, he stomped back to his desk, arms full of his reclaimed supplies.

That'll teach him.

---

Apparently, it did not.

The next day, all of Iruka's paperclips were missing. He spotted them on Kakashi's desk, bent into abstract shapes. Mostly dicks.

That son of a bitch.

This called for war.

---

After an entire weekend of planning, Iruka was ready.

On Monday, he took a screwdriver to Kakashi's computer chair, subtly loosening the screws at the base of the seat so it would break when tipped back at a lazy angle. He heard the crash from the break-room and almost choked on his granola bar laughing.

On Tuesday, he drained half of Kakashi's pens of ink and rigged the other half to explode, splattering everywhere when used. All of Kakashi's reports that day were sent back and he had to stay an extra hour just to re-sign everything.

On Wednesday, he jammed the copy machine. Kakashi, the procrastinating prick, wasn't able to print out the dozen or so information pamphlets he needed five minutes before the important presentation. The meeting was rescheduled for the following day, much to everyone's irritation, most of all Kakashi's, who prided himself on his copying skills.

On Thursday, he stole every single staple in the office. Kakashi, who had finally managed to print the copies for the presentation, was forced to tape all of the papers together. The strange looks he got from the others as he passed them out was well worth the effort.

On Friday, he sabotaged Kakashi's coffee cup to spring a leak when he took a sip. Iruka heard him curse from across the room and looked up to see a satisfying amount of hot coffee had spilled all over Kakashi's shirt and face mask. Hissing in pain, he stood and stomped to the nearest bathroom. Iruka couldn't resist following the other man inside for a victory gloat.

“So...” Iruka said smugly, joining Kakashi at the sink where he was attempting to dab the stain away with wet paper-towels, “had enough?”

“Of what?” Kakashi asked distractedly. “Coffee?”

“ME, you idiot! It was all me!” Iruka exploded. “Your chair, the copy machine, your coffee! All ME! Are you ready to admit defeat yet? Have you been thoroughly chastened?”

“Well, I'm mildly annoyed, if that counts,” Kakashi said, quirking an eyebrow. “I can't believe you went to all that trouble. You should put that effort into your work.”

“I should put more effort into my work?! You're the one sneaking naps in your cubicle!!” Iruka sputtered furiously, his face burning with rage, then cut off as Kakashi reached up and removed his mask and his face started burning for an entirely different reason.

Oh, shit.

Kakashi was hot. Kakashi was really hot. Kakashi was hot enough Iruka wanted to go to HR and lodge a complaint – He's too fucking hot. It's not fair. Fire his ass.

This changes nothing, Iruka told himself as he broke into a sweat. He's still an asshole, he still deserved it all, the stupid son of a-

“Damn. It's not coming out.” With an annoyed tsk, Kakashi smoothly removed his tie, unbuttoned his shirt, and stripped it off, his shoulders and chest rolling obscenely with the motion. Iruka's mouth went dry.

...This may have backfired, he thought, eyes glued to the slope of Kakashi's back as he bent over the sink, scrubbing at the stain.

“I...have to go,” Iruka said blankly.

“Well you came to the right place,” Kakashi replied, focused on his work.

“No. I mean. Leave. I have to leave. Like right now.” Iruka slowly backed up, hit the wall, then slithered along it til he found the door, desperately snatching at the handle, his eyes still riveted by Kakashi's sculpted chest.

“You're leaving early?” Kakashi glanced up at him. “Aren't you out of earned time?”

“Just take it out of my paycheck gotta go bye,” Iruka blurted before finally wrestling the door open and tumbling out into the hallway, shoving past a confused intern as he bolted towards the exit.

---

The sight of Kakashi shirtless haunted Iruka all weekend long.

He considered calling in sick on Monday, but didn't because Kakashi was indeed correct – he had no more sick leave left after Naruto gave him food poisoning for his birthday by being cheap and trying to bake a cake.

Also, he wasn't a coward.

So, come Monday morning, he marched right back into the office at 8 A.M on the dot, rode the elevator with his head down, pointedly ignoring everyone while also on the lookout for a certain silver-haired individual, and walked straight to his desk.

Which was covered in a stunning array of brand-new office supplies. Pens, mechanical pencils, highlighters, large and small paperclips, all sitting there still wrapped in plastic with that new-store smell. Iruka almost burst into tears at the sight.

“Whose dick did you suck to get all those?” Izumo whispered, his voice thick with jealousy.

“No-one's!” Iruka snapped at him as he sat down, mystified. He tentatively picked up a box of pens, delighted to see they came in a variety of colors.

“Do you like them?” Kakashi asked, leaning in over his shoulder. “I was gonna get flowers, but I figured you'd appreciate these more.”

“Kakashi!” Iruka bolted up out of his chair like he'd been shocked. Which, frankly, he had been. “Wait. You did this?” He gaped at the other man in disbelief, then his stomach dropped like a weight. Oh, God, of course this wasn't real. It was too good to be true. The supplies were probably all fake, rigged to break or explode or-

“It was the least I could do to apologize.”

“...Apologize?” Iruka blinked. “Why?”

“Some kid came by looking for you on Friday, after you left,” Kakashi went on, scratching at his face mask in an almost nervous gesture. “Seemed real upset about an orange pen missing from your desk. Said it was a present from him. And, well...I connected the dots.” He nodded towards Iruka's desk, where Naruto's gag “Worst Big Brother Ever” mug sat in its place of honor beside his monitor. “I'm sorry. I didn't know that pen meant so much to you.” He dropped his gaze in shame. “I shouldn't have taken it. Or any of your other stuff, for that matter.”

“It...it's alright, Kakashi,” Iruka said quietly, looking at him in a whole new light. Perhaps he should reevaluate his opinion of the other man. Sure, he was a lazy, procrastinating jerk sometimes, but he seemed to have a good heart. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. “And...thank you for the supplies, they're very appreciated, but honestly, there was no need to trouble yourself-”

“Want me to take my shirt off again?”

And maybe he was just an asshole.

Kakashi smirked down at him, and Iruka could imagine how, under the mask, it pulled at the stupid beauty mark on the side of his mouth.

...A really, really hot asshole.

“...Yeah alright.”

(Written for @kakairu-fest Kakairu Month 2021, Day Six Prompt: Office AU)

#kakairu #KakaIru Month 2021 #hatake kakashi #umino iruka #naruto #office au #don't fuck with Iruka's office supplies #he will cut a bitch

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popculty · 3 years

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52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.)

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT!

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls.

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

#finally finished this #52 films by women #2020 #writing #movies #movie reviews #orig

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warmest-oceans · 3 years

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A Non-Paradoxical Moment of Accepting Oneself While Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Set in Phuket, a beautiful large island in southern Thailand, I Told Sunset About You already wins the Best Picture category. The island is magnificent on its own — blessed with emerald clear water, bed of white sand, quiet calm breeze, but the island also has the charm of its old town scenery. Every shot feels like it was shot in a new world. The combination of laid-back island life with culturally rich town is visually pleasing.

Aside from its excellent choice of set, the storyline is the true gem here. In the peaceful island of Phuket, we’re brought into the not-so-quiet lives of our two male protagonists, Teh (Billkin Assaratanakul) and Oh-aew (PP Amnuaydechkorn). From the start we know that these two best friends are about to be involved in something that’s bigger than themselves, something that’s uncontrollable and something that will change their lives forever.

It won’t be a 10/10 series if the actors can’t bring the golden storyline to live. The actors who play our male protagonists apparently have been friends since they were teenagers, making every scene they act on-screen believable. The chemistry can be seen clearly with a dash of improvisation here and there by the actors themselves and the magical direction by Boss Kuno, the director of the series.

I can’t really wrap up my introductory of the series without mentioning the amazing soundtrack and scoring. We only have three songs as soundtrack (with different versions) sung by our male protagonists, but the quality is top-notch, you’ll fall for it!

OK, I’m done with my introductory piece. Now, let me gush about this series. To me, I Told Sunset About You has become a coming-of-age story that left a permanent dent in my heart. It’s everything I ask for in a series; a beautiful set, excellent story, magical chemistry, and incredibly fitting soundtrack. Sadly, the series is almost always lumped into BL category, which I find insulting to the series to be honest.

Although I don’t identify myself as a part of LGBTQ+ community, I relate to the series more than I initially thought. Let me be honest, I am INVESTED in this series. Let me just write down the things that I think make this series is in a whole another league.

Self-acceptance in the middle of everything else

The series is great at delivering the moment of being a teenager who’s in the middle of self-discovery, starting to think about the future (the protagonists are in 12th grade), falling in love (hard) for the first time (on top of that, with your very own best friend!), seeking acceptance and validation, and trying to stay afloat at the same time. The topic seems to be nothing out of ordinary, but its ordinariness that brings up its own charm when it’s combined with excellent character development.

We all go through self-discovery and we all try to accept who we are when we’re teenagers — how crazy it was, restless, tiring, but also exhilarating it was. That’s why I think the series will resonate with most people.

I love how the process of the protagonists discovering and accepting themselves also answers the dilemma of falling in love with the best friend. Personally, I believe that I need to love myself first to love another person (note: if you want it to work and if you want the relationship to be a healthy one).

Thanks to this series I had a pleasure of reliving the experience of self-discovery and self-acceptance once again. No kidding, after I watched the series, I did a bit of self-reflection.

Impulsiveness

I think the first emotion that the series successfully portrayed is the impulsiveness of hot-blooded teens. I love how chaotic and erratic Teh and Oh-aew can be. One day they’re best friend, tomorrow? Who knows. Everything is a mess and everything is truly a collection of fleeting temporary moments.

Nobody in the series got their shit together and it’s supposed to be like that. Nobody figures out shit when they are in 12th grade. Everyone in the series is scattered, explosive, tortured, yet sensitive and delicate at the same time. It really reminds me of my own 12th grade moments!

Most of teens would act out of their gut reactions and that’s exactly what the characters do in this series. They’re not perfectly groomed and planned. So if you’re no longer in your teenage years or maybe if you’re in your 30s, you may find some of their actions to be silly and atrocious even. Tip: try to remember your teenage years. Try to remember all the stupid things you did in 12th grade. It helps you understand the characters.

Jealousy among friends is real and valid

I rarely see a show can realistically execute the side story of jealousy in friendship or even rivalry. Sometimes it’s too mean, sometimes it’s not even brought up (mostly being avoided in a story). I Told Sunset About You portrays jealousy in the most relatable way, through microexpressions. Through Oh-aew’s subtle glance at Teh and Ma or through Teh’s smile when talking to Oh-aew. Really, kudos to the whole team!

Naivety that leads to boldness

I think we can all agree that we’re much bolder when we’re younger, no? That’s because we have this naivety vested in us. Like trying to learn how to ride a bike for the first time, we don’t think much about the risk, we just want to have fun with the bike. We think adults will catch us when we fall anyway.

It’s another thing from the series that makes me fall in love with it. These flawed characters, probably in their 17 or 18, think that everything will be sorted out eventually. While, we adult know that most of the time, we clean our own mess. You’ll know what I’m talking about in episode 4.

Everyone got their own idea of first love

I think love is a complex, hard-to-understand feeling for everyone in every age, let alone for a bunch of 12th graders. Deeply impressed with how the series handles the tenderness and also the chaos of first love. How the series shows different outcomes of loving romantically for the first time is also admirable.

Teh stole my heart. At first, he was so certain about his feeling. He was calm, loving, and patient, the best you could be when you’re in love. But later when he’s in turmoil with himself, he becomes petty, awkward, and impulsive. He thought he loved, but turned out, it wasn’t even the kind of love he’d imagined.

I’m the main character

No character in this series is a filler. Everyone got their own dream and ambitions. Tarn, the female character isn’t just an obstacle between our protagonists. She’s a fully-developed character, an independent woman that works hard for her dream and a dynamic person. Bas, a male character, a good friend of Oh-aew has his own likings and dream. He’s good at some things. He acts on his own. Everyone is the main character in their own world and it’s evident in the series.

Symbolism and color theory

This wouldn’t be one of my favorite series without hidden meanings, symbolism, and color theory. Almost every scene and every material placement is intentional in this series. I won’t talk about it much because it’ll spoil the fun of you finding them.

Nostalgia

I had fun watching, crying, smiling, and laughing throughout the episodes the way they are. Aside from warmth and the feeling of awe, maybe the production crew doesn’t realize that it also makes me feeling nostalgic.

It reminds me of how futile and just fragile some of the moments from my youth were. They looked like big deals when I was in my 17, but now they are just dust. They really don’t matter in the next 5 years.

It reminds me of how insanely good falling in love felt like. It was intense yet tender, messy yet everything fell into pieces perfectly. The feeling that you want to give the person the world, but sometimes that world isn’t what the other person wants or needs. The feeling that you can almost do anything for this person. The suffocating feeling of not knowing what to do, but want to do everything for the other person. The liberating feeling of falling into the abyss. The feeling of surrender… completely.

The series makes me remember how exciting and scary it was when I realized I fell in love with one of my best friends, how confusing it was to even talk to him the next day after the realization. I just wanted to be with him ever since. Nobody could take that away from me and everything just didn’t make sense anymore in my head, just like how Teh and Oh-aew felt.

As you can see, I only have good words for the series. I hope, after watching the series, you’ll feel various emotions but hopefully… they’re all good and warm, because that’s how I felt. I also think that the production crew tried really hard to deliver a heartwarming series (please watch the documentaries/their behind the scene videos, it’s amazing!). I hope this series can be a newfound joy for you.

#itsay #i told sunset about you #itsay review #review #i told sunset about you review #bkpp #billkin #pp kritt

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mayhembunnywrites · 4 years

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Love Like This

Pairing: Reddy x Reader x G2

Warnings: Smut, 18+, talk of sex toys, dissing of ex-boyfriend

Genre: Smut, Comedy, Fluff

Summary: When it comes down to it, no one can come between you and your men, especially not some asshole ex-boyfriend.

Photo cred. to helloasia.com.au

You wake up before both of your boyfriends, shifting as you lay between them, the three of you are covered by a thin sheet and you snuggle further into Jitu’s side, curling into his side with a happy sigh as you immediately begin to drift off again.

“Mmm, you awake, babe?” he mumbles sleepily, your movements, no matter how gentle, disturbing his sleep as you rest your head on his bare chest, your bare skin touching his as you side-straddle his leg. You blink at him once with heavy eyelids, making his heart flutter as he watches you fall asleep, knowing that you’re safe in his arms.

“Good morning to you, too,” he says with a slight smirk as he looks at you. He notices your closed eyes as you fall back asleep in your comfortable state, skin against skin with the men you love and trust the most in the world.

Jitu doesn’t even try to hold back as his eyes greedily take in the bare skin of your upper chest, remembering the intimate activities from the night before. He licks his lips as he reminisces, gaze and hands wandering as he pulls the sheet down. He watches as you don’t even flinch, having already fallen asleep again. Jitu notices as Hongwoo wakes up suddenly, startling awake with a soft noise as the cold air brushes against his skin.

Hongwoo brushes the sleep out of his eyes, slowly waking up as he recognizes the feeling of the cold air having woken him up. He groans softly as he sits up, sleepily opening his eyes to reveal Jitu having completely pulled down the sheet that had covered your triad, revealing your naked body which still shows signs of the night before.

Hongwoo moves more to the side, climbing out of the bed before joining Jitu as he parts your thighs. Both of the men gazing at you lick their lips, relishing in the mess they’d made of you the night before. They spread the lips of your pussy gently, hushing you automatically as you moan and shift slightly, spreading your legs as much as you can for them even in your sleep. Their eyes darken with lust as they notice a bit of their mixed cum dripping onto the bed from between your lower lips, your nipples hardening in the morning air.

Hongwoo moves to your side stealthily, careful not to disturb you as he brushes over your pussy gently. He smirks when he feels your pussy already wet for him, sharing a glance with Jitu as you let out a small moan. You stir and your eyes open, blinking as you sit up slightly before taking in the sight of Jitu between your thighs and Hongwoo by your side.

They both gaze at you with adoring and slightly guilty eyes. You groan and push them away slightly, sitting up instead.

“Not happening, boys,” you say with a sigh, “I’m a little sore from last night. You know, you both were a bit much last night.” You watch as Jitu stands up and stretches before heading to the bathroom with a smile. Soon after you hear the sound of running water, and you realize he must be drawing a bath.

You squeal softly with excitement, causing Hongwoo to laugh a bit as he gazes at you fondly. He draws you close, slowly taking you into his arms and feeling as you wiggle happily against him in lieu of words. He closes his eyes as he holds you, remembering what you were like after you had broken up with YunBaek.

You had been, for lack of a better word, broken. The scars he had left on you weren’t physical, but they had taken time to heal. You had been a shell of a person compared to when he had first met you. You had been so bright when he and Jitu had first met you, so full of life. He didn’t even know how it had turned into you breaking down in his arms when you caught YunBaek fucking another woman, but somehow it had.

You had first become friends with Hongwoo, and then he had introduced you to Jitu and you had also become fast friends with him. You all had spent the night together platonically and, the next morning, you had all naturally just started dating after late night confessions had brought tears and kisses in equal measure, although far more happiness had been brought to you than in prior months.

Your relationship had progressed naturally, all three of you choosing to move into a bigger space. A king-size canopy bed decorates the cream-colored bedroom, the ivory sheets and large windows making the apartment feel more airy and open. The kitchen is large and spacious, marble counters and beautiful appliances throughout with an island in the middle.

Your dining table was absolutely gorgeous, hand built and carved by a friend of yours as a present for your housewarming. The wood had been stained a dark cherry and chairs had been bought to match the beautiful table. Wispy white curtains had been bought and placed in the spacious living room, decorated with soft grey furniture and white fuzzy blankets for optimal cuddle time.

Hongwoo startles from his thoughts once he hears the water stop running, Jitu popping his head through the doorway with a wide smile for the both of you.. “Okay, baby,” Hongwoo says with a small smile on his face, “Are you ready for a bath to start the day?” His smile grows, his gaze fond as you perk up, instantly interested and nodding vigorously.

“The bath is ready,” Jitu says with a smile on his face as he watches Hongwoo pick you up. Both men enter the bathroom with your laughter ringing throughout the apartment, the joyful morning full of love beginning. You spend time in the large bath with your lovers, simply relaxing and discussing plans for the upcoming weeks. It wasn’t often that you got to spend this much quality time with them, but you were always grateful that they made time at least once a month to spend with you.

Your relationship with Jitu and Hongwoo had come with some complications, but after a year had passed together you can’t imagine being without them. Your former relationship was the very definition of unhealthy, your ex having cheated on you multiple times within only six months together. It had taken all of your courage to leave him, to leave almost everything behind on your way out the door after catching him balls deep in another woman in your shared bed.

The wounds had healed with time and love, but they still hurt sometimes.

Thankfully, you think as Jitu helps you out of the bath and escorts you to bed after you all dry off, I have these goofballs to keep me sane.

You space out and close your eyes as you crawl into the bed naked, Jitu and Hongwoo having begun to get dressed without you. You preferred to be naked most days that you all were at home, your apartment being so high up that there was no way that anyone would spot you.

You groan as your phone dings at you, recognizing the text notification sound. You wiggle over to the side of the bed, picking up your phone with quite a lot of hesitation as Jitu chooses to join you back in bed, picking up his own phone and scrolling through the unread messages. You let out a confused noise as you read the message from an unknown number, drawing the attention of Jitu.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks, brow furrowed as he looks at your expression.

You lean over, showing him the screen, “Do you recognize the number? I don’t have the contact saved.” You watch as he scrolls through his contacts idly, his eyes widening and his throat clearing as he averts his eyes.

“It’s YunBaek,” Jitu says awkwardly, watching your face as you react to the news. He’s surprised by you simply rolling your eyes despite the needy message, clearly unsurprised by the contents. “Does this happen often?” he asks, confused and concerned by your reaction.

You sigh deeply, leaning back into the plush pillows that flank you, “Every so often he tries to start a conversation on social media. This is the first time through text messages or calls, though.” You shrug it off, reading the message with some mild irritation.

Hey princess, it begins and you can feel your brain cells dying as you read the message from your vapid ex, Are you still with the two traitors? If not, I have something that I’d love to give you when you have the time. ;)

You scoff as you finish reading the message, laughing with a tinge of disgust at the dick pic that had suddenly appeared while you were reading the actual message. Hongwoo pops his head into the room, a smile on his face until he notices the expressions yourself and Jitu are wearing.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, entering the room and approaching you. He reads the message over your shoulder, noticing the dick pic and scoffing. “What the fuck is that?” he asks, “Who sent you that?”

You sigh as you shut off the screen, deciding to deal with it later. “It’s just YunBaek and his tiny dick talking again. I thought I had shut him down before, but apparently not. Anyways, I heard the blender going. What’s for breakfast?” you ask excitedly, determined to not let your ex ruin your day.

You and your lovers spend the day relaxing, choosing to spend the day indoors. You all cook together for each meal, sharing precious kisses and embracing each other whenever you get a free moment. Laughter only helps to lift the already joyful mood as the day goes on, and before you know it you’re all sprawled on the giant bed while watching TV.

You all mindlessly chat, checking your phones for the first time since before you had all eaten breakfast. The sun was setting through the glass window, and you couldn’t help but be full of love as you prepared to end the day you had spent with your lovers. You strip out of the oversized t-shirt you had donned at some point during the day, abandoning your clothing in the hamper for later.

You’re reminded of the message that you had received that morning only after you check your phone after climbing into the bed that sits in the middle of the room, having piled fuzzy blankets on top of the lightweight sheet, having gotten another message from him.

“Oh my god,” you mutter before laughing at the utter ridiculousness of YunBaek.

Your boyfriends both read the message on your screen after they join you in bed, the two of them snorting out laughs as they read the simple and yet absolutely idiotic contents of the text from your equally idiotic ex. Come on baby, I know you miss this dick, reads the message, and you laugh again as you think of a response.

You quickly type out a reply, barely thinking about it as you reply, No thank you, I have boyfriends with bigger dicks than yours, not that it’s a difficult feat. Thanks for the offer, but I quite like cumming, and you just...don’t do the trick for me. Thanks for asking, though! You hit ‘send’ before closing the chat, ignoring the consistent buzzing of your phone as he responds angrily.

Both Hyonwoo and Jitu are absolutely losing it, rolling on the bed in their fits of laughter concerning your message. You smile at them, your heart almost instantly full of love for these men. They had once been best friends with YunBaek, but they had fallen in love with you and he hadn’t approved in the least. He had been rather offended that they had fallen for you, deciding that they had ‘betrayed’ him in all the worst ways.

He had tried to get back with you, offering you sex and jewelry as some sort of revenge on your boyfriends. He didn’t ever count on how much you love your boyfriends, especially since he hadn’t ever really cared about you. He had wanted to use you for one thing: sex.

You had dated YunBaek for only six months before the break-up and, despite the short relationship, he had cheated on you multiple times and he had never even attempted to give you an orgasm. Once you had started dating Hongwoo and Jitu, you had known without a doubt that you would never go back to YunBaek even if he tried to pay you for it, and no doubt he would try.

You had never felt loved during the six months you were with Yun B, the rapper having never cared enough to make time for anything but to fuck you like you were a sex doll. You were used and cast aside, only to be brought out once he needed you to get off.

Once you had started dating Hongwoo and Jitu, that had changed drastically. They never tried to hold back from saying that they love you, and they always set aside time for a date night at least once a week.

The sex had been terrifying in its intensity when you had first begun to have sex with them, your orgasms out of control after so long without another touch. Hongwoo and Jitu both love to touch you constantly, sexually or not, and the casual intimacy of your relationship is what finally swallowed you whole as you fell into their embrace.

Given the option between Hongwoo and Jitu or going back to YunBaek, you would choose Hongwoo and Jitu without question. You were disgusted whenever YunBaek decided to send you messages like this, seeming to think more with his tiny dick than he ever had with his actual brain. You had begun blocking him whenever you received a message on one of your social media accounts. This is the first time, though, that you’d gotten a text from him after the split.

You pick up your phone and open the menu on his number, hitting the ‘block’ button without any hesitation as your boyfriends chat and cuddle. You shut off your phone screen and move to cuddle with them, all three of you settling under a fuzzy blanket as you settle in together.

I’m so lucky, you think with a smile as your boyfriends start joking around, all three of you relaxed. With love like this, you could never wish for anything else.

#g2 fanfiction #g2 fluff #reddy fanfiction #reddy fluff #g2 imagines #g2 scenarios #reddy imagines #reddy scenarios #khh #reddy #g2 #khh fanfiction #khh fluff #khh scenarios #khh imagines #mayhembunnywrites

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150289city · 3 years

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HND1 Photography Report Task: Capture & Output

DIGITAL CAMERA SENSORS A digital camera uses an array of millions of tiny light cavities or "photosites" to record an image. When you press your camera's shutter button and the exposure begins, each of these is uncovered to collect photons and store those as an electrical signal. Once the exposure finishes, the camera closes each of these photosites, and then tries to assess how many photons fell into each cavity by measuring the strength of the electrical signal. The signals are then quantified as digital values, with a precision that is determined by the bit depth. The resulting precision may then be reduced again depending on which file format is being recorded (0 - 255 for an 8-bit JPEG file).

Digital Camera Sensor Types Medium Format Medium format is the largest sensor type in digital cameras for photographic applications. However, it doesn’t come in just one size. Medium format has its own group of sensors, with its own equivalents to the four thirds, APS-C, and full-frame formats. There are a variety of sensor sizes for medium-format cameras, and typical sizes range from around 43.8×32.9mm to 53.7×40.2mm.

Due to their large image sensors, medium-format DSLR cameras are traditionally heavier and bulkier than their full-frame counterparts. But that changed, as brands like Hasselblad have come out with smaller mirrorless medium-format cameras like the X1D II to provide photographers with a lighter, more compact option. The newer Fujifilm GFX 100 is also a medium-format mirrorless camera and holds a whopping 102MP resolution.

35mm Full-Frame Full-frame sensors are available in both DSLR and mirrorless cameras. They have the same dimensions as the 35mm film, hence the name. The 35mm full-frame sensor type is the gold standard among professional photographers who want the highest-quality images.

The dimensions of a 35mm sensor are typically 36×24mm.

The Canon EOS R5, for example, is a full-frame mirrorless camera option, and the popular Nikon D850 DSLR has a FX full-frame sensor.

APS-H The groundbreaking EOS-1D was the first Canon camera to carry the APS-H sensor type was, and it launched in 2001. Canon released four more cameras (all members of the 1D line) with the same sensor type before discontinuing it.

The APS-H is slightly larger than the APS-C sensor format that many Canon DSLR cameras use today but smaller than a traditional full-frame sensor.

APS-C The APS-C or crop-sensor format is the most well-known and most versatile of the bunch. The APS-C sensor is popular in DSLR and mirrorless cameras alike. Beginners and professionals alike use it thanks to its adaotability.

The typical APS-C sensor size is different across camera brands. Canon APS-C sensors are usually 22.3×14.9mm, while other brands like Nikon, Sony, Pentax, and more usually feature APS-C sensors with 23.6×15.6mm dimensions. Many cameras including the Canon EOS M50 Mark II, Fujifilm X100V, Sony Alpha a6600, and Nikon Z50 all hold APS-C sensors

Four Thirds/Micro Four Thirds Created by Olympus and Panasonic, the Four Thirds System is a standard that allows for the compatibility of lenses and bodies across participating camera makers. Image sensor size is 17.3×13mm with a crop factor of 2.0 when compared to full-frame camera sensors.

On the mirrorless camera side, we have the Micro Thirds Format System, first released in 2008. It shares the Four Thirds System’s sensor size and specifications but uses a compact design with no space for the movable mirror, pentaprism, and other parts of the DSLR mechanisms not found in mirrorless cameras.

The Four Thirds System uses a 4:3 image aspect ratio, hence the name, and is featured in cameras like the Blackmagic Design Pocket Cinema Camera 4K. The Micro Four Thirds System uses the same ratio but can also record 16:9, 3:2, and 1:1 formats, and is included in cameras like the Olympus OM-D E-M1 Mark III and Panasonic Lumix G9.

1” Type (and below) Any sensor that is about 1.5 to 1-inch in size or smaller can be found in non-interchangeable lens cameras (your typical point and shoot) and smartphone cameras.

High-end compact cameras like the Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX10 and the Sony Cyber-Shot DSC-RX10 IV use 1-inch sensors, allowing these cameras to produce good results—in terms of image and video quality—that you won’t get with regular point-and-shoot cameras.

Dynamic Range

If you’ve ever had to take a photograph on a bright sunny day, chances are pretty high that you would have lost detail, possibly in the shadows or in the highlights, perhaps even both. This is not an exposure problem on your part, it’s more likely a limitation of the dynamic range of your camera – almost all cameras will come up against this problem at some time.

Notice the sky is lacking in detail. It is over exposed – outside of the range of the camera. There are actually two dynamic ranges you need to think about. One is the dynamic range of the subject, the second is the dynamic range of your camera. The dynamic range of the subject is a measure of the range of light intensities from the shadows to the highlights. In low light conditions the dynamic range (that is the difference between the darkest and the latest part of the subject) is quite small. On a bright sunny day that range is much higher and is often outside the range of the camera. Different cameras and different sensors will have bigger or smaller dynamic ranges. As long as the dynamic range of the subject doesn’t exceed the dynamic range of your camera you will be able to get a perfectly exposed photograph.

If the subject dynamic range is bigger than the cameras dynamic range and one part of your subject will be either under or over exposed. You can easily tell if the subject’s dynamic range exceeds that of your camera by using the histogram on your rear screen.

The histogram shows the range of subject brightness starting with black on the left going to white on the right. The width of the histogram chart represents the dynamic range of your camera sensor.

If the histogram fits inside of the histogram display area then the dynamic range of the subject is inside that of your camera and everything is good. If the histogram is clipped at either end then the subject range is too wide. Try changing your camera exposure and watch the histogram move left or right and see if you can fit the histogram inside of the display.

On the histogram shown you can see you can see the shadow area is outside of the sensor’s ability to register. The signal is “clipped” with no details being recorded. The left side of the histogram is crammed up tight against the edge, showing lack of detail.

On the right of the histogram there is still room – the photographer could open up the iris (or use a slower shutter speed) and get more detail in the shadow area without sacrificing detail in the highlights.

Be careful not to over expose the highlights!

A blown out highlight looks terrible whereas a shadow lacking detail is acceptable.

If the subject’s dynamic range is too big and will not fit in histogram and then you need to choose where you will lose information. Ninety-nine percent of the time a photograph that is exposed so the highlights have full detail and the shadows just go black with no detail is a much better option and gives a much more pleasing photograph than one where there is full detail in the shadow but where the highlights are completely burned out.

The almost golden rule is “expose for the highlights,” that is, expose so the highlights are not clipped. Shadows by definition are dark and it is hard to see detail there, so, if you have to loose a portion of the dynamic range it is almost always preferable to loose in the shadows.

There are ways to lift shadows – consider using a fill in flash or a reflector to lighten up those areas if they are close enough to the flashgun that it would have an effect.

Another option – and always a good piece of equipment to have in your camera kit – is to use a graduated neutral density (ND) filter.

BIT DEPTH

Bit depth is one of the most fundamental and important parameters you're likely to come across in photography and videography. This great video will give you a quick introduction to what bit depth is and why it matters to your work.

Coming to you from ZY Productions, this quick and informative video will teach you about bit depth. Bit depth is essentially how much information your camera can store in each color channel for each pixel. For example, a camera with 8-bit color depth can store a string of eight 0s and 1s in each color channel for each pixel. Since there are two possibilities (0 or 1) in each slot and eight slots overall per channel, that equates to 2^8=256 values per channel. Since there are three overall channels, this equates to (2^8)^3=16,777,216 total colors. Altogether, higher bit depths are better, as they create finer gradations, and this results in smoother transitions between tones. As the video notes, the standard JPEG is 8-bit, whereas raw files are typically 12-bit or 14-bit files. This is by far one of the best reasons to shoot in raw; the massive gain in information you get from those extra bits creates much more post-processing latitude. Check out the video above for more.

there is some lin with video about bit depth:

https://youtu.be/Z-0hszXbYD0

DIGITAL NOISE

Digital camera image noise

"Image noise" is the digital equivalent of film grain for analogue cameras. Alternatively, one can think of it as analogous to the subtle background hiss you may hear from your audio system at full volume. For digital images, this noise appears as random speckles on an otherwise smooth surface and can significantly degrade image quality. Although noise often detracts from an image, it is sometimes desirable since it can add an old-fashioned, grainy look which is reminiscent of early film. Some noise can also increase the apparent sharpness of an image. Noise increases with the sensitivity setting in the camera, length of the exposure, temperature, and even varies amongst different camera models.

CONCEPT: SIGNAL TO NOISE RATIO

Some degree of noise is always present in any electronic device that transmits or receives a "signal." For televisions this signal is the broadcast data transmitted over cable or received at the antenna; for digital cameras, the signal is the light which hits the camera sensor. Even though noise is unavoidable, it can become so small relative to the signal that it appears to be nonexistent. The signal to noise ratio (SNR) is a useful and universal way of comparing the relative amounts of signal and noise for any electronic system; high ratios will have very little visible noise whereas the opposite is true for low ratios. The sequence of images below show a camera producing a very noisy picture of the word "signal" against a smooth background. The resulting image is shown along with an enlarged 3-D representation depicting the signal above the background noise.

The image above has a sufficiently high SNR to clearly separate the image information from background noise. A low SNR would produce an image where the "signal" and noise are more comparable and thus harder to discern from one another.

ERMINOLOGY: ISO SPEED

A camera's "ISO setting" or "ISO speed" is a standard which describes its absolute sensitivity to light. ISO settings are usually listed as factors of 2, such as ISO 50, ISO 100 and ISO 200 and can have a wide range of values. Higher numbers represent greater sensitivity and the ratio of two ISO numbers represents their relative sensitivity, meaning a photo at ISO 200 will take half as long to reach the same level of exposure as one taken at ISO 100 (all other settings being equal). ISO speed is analogous to ASA speed for different films, however a single digital camera can capture images at several different ISO speeds. This is accomplished by amplifying the image signal in the camera, however this also amplifies noise and so higher ISO speeds will produce progressively more noise.

TYPES OF NOISE

Digital cameras produce three common types of noise: random noise, "fixed pattern" noise, and banding noise. The three qualitative examples below show pronounced and isolating cases for each type of noise against an ordinarily smooth grey background.

Fixed Pattern Noise Long Exposure Low ISO Speed

Random Noise Short Exposure High ISO Speed

Banding Noise Susceptible Camera Brightened Shadows

#technical #preproduction

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Best Meryl Streep Musical Performances (Including The Prom!)

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Who would have thought 30 years ago Meryl Streep would become the musical diva of our age? Maybe those who watched her bashfully (and beautifully) sing “You Don’t Know Me” in 1990’s Postcards from the Edge. But largely she was associated with the serious dramas of the ‘70s and ‘80s that won her two Oscars (and saw her nominated for three more) by the time she was 35: Kramer vs. Kramer, The Deer Hunter, Sophie’s Choice. Sober-eyed tearjerkers all.

But an amazing thing happened in the 21st century, didn’t it? Streep, the First Lady of the Academy Awards stage, reinvented herself as the prima donna of the musical-comedy. Sometimes that includes performances so rich that they sing even without any lyrics, such as the imperious Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. But often they come with music and verse too, be it ham-fisted kitsch like Mamma Mia! or something as ambitious as playing the Witch in an adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods.

And today she’s back on the musical big screen—or at least the one in your living room—via Ryan Murphy and Netflix’s The Prom. It’s an all-out musical extravaganza where Streep transcends into her best self: a reigning diva of Broadway. So join us as we use the occasion to count down her greatest cinematic solos.

10. “Changing Lives” in The Prom

For whatever faults The Prom might contain, the Netflix film’s vicious satire of celebrity vanity and performative social action is not one of them. And rarely is that better felt than in Meryl and James Corden’s first big number “Changing Lives.” As a pair of tone-deaf Narcissuses, Streep’s Dee Dee Allen and Corden’s Barry Glickman put on a hell of a show, singing from the lights of 44th St. to the glitzy interiors of Sardis about how being a Broadway star is basically the same thing as Eleanor and Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

Is it a great song? Not necessarily. Is it great to hear Streep exclaim she only wants to hear a review if it’s a rave or mixed-to-positive while downing champagne? Absolutely.

9. “Super Trouper” in Mamma Mia!

We know everyone has thoughts about Mammia Mia! and where its qualities (or sometimes lack thereof) lie. But Meryl Streep’s performance as Donna is inarguably one of its great strengths. Her matriarch of an idyllic little Greek island seems a far cry from the apparent free spirit and hellraiser she once was. Yet in “Super Trouper,” her young daughter (Amanda Seyfried) gets a glimpse of the dynamo Donna once was (and secretly still is) as she takes the disco stage alongside Julie Walters and Christine Baranski.

The trio still make the ‘70s excess of their outfits work, crooning about last nights in Glasgow and reawakening that magic for the next generation. Even Donna’s tuneless exes in the back get swept back in time. It’s sweet, and one of several Mamma Mia numbers to appear here.

8. “Goodbye to My Mama” in A Prairie Home Companion

One of the best films mentioned on this list, A Prairie Home Companion was director Robert Altman’s final film—and the movie appears aware of this. Nowhere is that more tangible in this heart-wringing ballad written in the tradition of early 20th century Country and Western music by Garrison Keillor. An ode to a childhood long gone, and both an aspiration and understated fear about seeing a lost mother again on the other side, the song is an elegy realized in soulful duet by Streep and Lily Tomlin. It harkens the Angel of Death backstage, but in isolation it’s still plenty heartbreaking.

7. “The Winner Takes It All” in Mamma Mia!

We said there’d be more ABBA. And here it is with “The Winner Takes It All,” Streep’s single actual solo. In this moment director Phyllida Lloyd knows exactly where to put the camera, capturing the postcard beauty of a Greek isle at sunset as Meryl sings her heart out, and smashes Pierce Brosnan’s for good measure. Appealingly melodramatic, and with perfect high notes for Streep’s range, the scene puts this Oscar winner in the movie equivalent of a romance novel cover. And who doesn’t want to open that?!

6. “It’s Not About Me” in The Prom

Again rarely does The Prom’s satire land better than in its opening number… but Streep’s big solo “It’s Not About Me” is that rare exception. Strutting into an Indiana PTA meeting in a red mink and extravagant mood, Streep’s Dee Dee introduces herself by belting that she’s here after reading three quarters of an article to ask, “You bigoted monsters, just who do you think you are?” And it’s all downhill from there for her argument, and uphill for our entertainment.

Hijacking a vulnerable teenager’s platform to whine about a New York Post notice and to demand soft lighting and a rainbow coalition of colorful streamers for her Insta-ready moment, Streep is given permission by The Prom to make everything about her. More, please.

5. “Stay with Me” in Into the Woods

Attempting to sing Sondheim is a challenge few take up lightly. With his typically complex lyrics, myriad key changes, and sharp musical bridges, Sondheim has thwarted many a movie star who’s tried. Streep is not one of them. As the villainous and somewhat misunderstood Witch of Into the Woods, Streep dominates the film as an antagonistic force who sees all the other fairy tale archetypes for the schmucks they are.

But that does not include her adopted daughter Rapunzel (Mackenzie Mauzy). As the daughter the Witch never had, Rapunzel is kept secluded away in the woods, but it’s for her own protection. Written years before Tangled, a mother’s fanged psychological warfare and pleas to “stay with me” from the danger in the world is as haunting as it is toxic. And it’s Streep’s best moment in Disney and Rob Marshall’s ambitious, yet bloated, movie adaptation.

4. “Dancing Queen” in Mamma Mia!

Yes, it’s that song and that scene: ABBA’s most overplayed earworm brought to treacly life with maximum cheese, including slow-motion shots of Meryl Streep jumping on a bed and skipping along a Greek coastline. Look over there! Why is that old fisherman playing a piano in the water?! And over here! Where did the hundreds of locals on this tiny, largely uninhabited island come from?!

Movies

Best Movie Musicals of the 21st Century

By David Crow

Movies

Hamilton Cast Reflect on Backlash and Criticism of Musical

By David Crow

It doesn’t matter! You know from the first time you heard Streep and company belt this that you sang along. You probably still do, joining in at the parade of empowered women, from ages two to 92, who’ve been liberated by the joy of their youth, now or remembered. As they dance badly across the world’s grooviest pier, it plays as loud; as camp; and as a goddamn delight.

3. “My Minnesota Home” in A Prairie Home Companion

Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin’s other major duet in A Prairie Home Companion, “My Minnesota Home” reworks Stephen Foster’s “My Old Kentucky Home” to give it a Lake Wobegon tenor. It is also the sweetest showcase for Streep and Tomlin’s chemistry, both as singers and human beings. The give and take between the pair, and then Streep’s rousing vibrato during the final chorus, has the air of genuine inspiration and real pleasure. Here are two performers finding harmony together on the stage and before our eyes. It’s big hearted and irresistible.

2. “I’m Checking Out” in Postcards from the Edge

Meryl’s first major musical moment came during the grand finale of director Mike Nichols and screenwriter Carrie Fisher’s wonderful little dramedy. Loosely and nakedly based on Fisher’s own relationship with her movie star mother Debbie Reynolds, Postcards from the Edge is a revealing and sometimes blunt exercise in getting things off a writer’s chest. And one thing Fisher really wanted to clear the air about was her mother’s desire to push her toward musical performance. While Fisher resisted in her own life, she allows the fictional Suzanne Vale (Streep) to give in to mother Doris Mann (Shirley MacLaine).

Movies

Best 11 Classic Movie Musicals

By David Crow

Movies

Hamilton: The Real History of the Burr-Hamilton Duel

By David Crow

In doing so, she also gives into herself and sings this full-hearted rendition of “I’m Checking Out.” A country hymn to the bitterness of living in the heartbreak hotel, the song allows Suzanne (and hopefully Carrie) to bury some pain, and for Streep to reveal her formidable stage and screen presence in front of a microphone. It is probably the rawest and most intelligent performance on this list.

1. “Mamma Mia” in Mamma Mia!

Among Meryl Streep’s many songs in Mamma Mia!—including a few we did not put on this list, believe it or not—it’s her rendition of the movie’s title song that works best. Imbuing the tune with an infectious playfulness, and leaning into the impatience that pours from ABBA’s lyrics, Streep pounces around the screen like a cat who’s just spotted a bird… or at least three turkeys in the shapes of her exes (Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, and Stellan Skarsgård).

Culture

How Disney Saved Musicals for a New Generation

By David Crow

Movies

Hamilton: Thomas Jefferson Controversy Explained

By David Crow

As she creeps and creaks around their goathouse (don’t ask), debating whether to sneak another peak, the film finally makes sharp use of a movie’s ability to edit together imagery: We cut between Streep, the exiled suitors, Donna’s daughter and friends, and even an honest to Zeus Greek chorus of extras sticking their heads into the frame to chastise Streep. Not that she can resist her curiosity, nor do we resist watching it. In fact, we want to egg it on as Streep rolls around in overalls and crosses herself before embracing the next crescendo.

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blue-honeycomb · 4 years

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Escape Artist: Chapter 1 [Aizawa x Reader]

Decided to play around with this for a bit before going back to my other stuff.

Masterlist

Prologue | Part 1

---

The Escape Artist stared at the television screen with incomprehension, blinking once, twice, until a small hand smacked her dead center in the face. The force was enough to shake her from her thoughts and she cast a sidewards glare at the little brat sitting casually beside her.

Big, off-white eyes stared unflinchingly into her own, equally white, featureless face twisting into some form of expression that was lost on her. Luckily, the little hellion's hair was prone to flashing colors with their emotions, so she at least has some idea as to what they wanted. Even if that idea was vague at best.

"How was I supposed to know there was a whole pack of heros right there?" She huffed, casting her eyes back to the news special broadcasting her latest anti-kidnapping kidnapping with concerningly clear footage. Like, crystal clear HD, not some fuzzy security camera but media quality definition; the kind that got you recognized.

On the screen was a video of her popping into existence in a police station not even 3 yards from where a group of heros and police officers were finishing up an interview, setting the child she'd brought in a chair as he chewed on the mochi she'd thought to bring with her for just such a purpose. As though in slow motion, she could see her screen self whip around and suddenly freeze, staring directly at the heros, and consequencely the cameras, before disappearing once more. Honestly, it was pretty comical, and apparently, a good portion of the in studio reporters seemed to think so too.

"That," She pointed at the screen for emphasis while leveling the yellow flashing, blank-faced little shit a glare. "Was not intentional, no matter what you little misfits seem to think." From the shadow of the color flashing cretin popped another one, this one gray haired and black eyed, grinning widely at her with his wickedly sharp teeth.

"Don't make up shit just cuz you can't understand me. Don't think I'm not on to you, shark boy." Not that any of her brats ever listened to a thing she said anyway. The only one who ever seemed to try was Spitter, but that was because the boy couldn't say no to anyone ever, so it was never satisfying. Hard to feel victorious about getting your way when it took years of abuse to make the person (a little fucking boy) willing to heel on command. Thinking about how'd she'd found the little guy made her stomach turn.

Moving on before she breaks something.

Shark brat said something about hero costumes to Whiteout Brat and a lot of gesturing took place, as well as a good bit of yelling. Thankfully they lived far enough underground to avoid being hear by any passerbys. Escape Artist turned away while they were distracted and let them entertain themselves while she thought about what she'd just seen.

It was the first time the public had seen conclusive evidence of her existence outside of a few shitty grocery store video feeds, and the entirety of Japan seemed to be eating it up. Words like vigilante and uncatchable were being tossed around, as well as theories about teleportation quirks and being a greiving mother seeking vengeance. All these things would have made her snort in amusement had it been even a few months ago. But now? Now she couldn't afford to get caught or have a hoard of glory-hounds on her trail. Too many mouths to feed, for one, and secondly, too many little bodies following her when she wasn't looking. Anything could happen with the added variable of nosy superpower enhanced dogooders.

The problem with working with homeless, traumatized children is that after you've taken care of them for a while they come to expect you to actually take care of them. As in, not just feeding them occasionally and giving them a place to crash, but actually filling that parent shaped whole in their lives and taking over all the responsibilities that comes with it. Like protection, love and trust. And time. Especially time. So much more than she has to spare.

So they've taken to following her when she's not watching closely enough, and that terrifies her because she can give them love and trust in abundance, but protection is something she just can't provide. She simply isn't strong enough to take them with her everywhere she goes, let alone into a situation that may one day be her last.

Speaking of situations.

It was time to go out and get more food. While nothing went bad in her inventory, thank God, it never actually stayed full with how many mouths needed feeding everyday. Shark boy alone could put away half his body weight in a single sitting if given the chance, and even that's got nothing on Bull or Hot Shot. Honestly, and though Escape Artist would never say it aloud, Bull's vigorous appetite may have been the reason she was abandoned in the first place. She just had to eat so much to function that even with the triweekly raids Escape Artist could barely keep up with the ever growing demand.

And then there's Hot Shot. Nicely put, he was a rather enthusiastic young boy in possession of a very destructive, fuel-exhaustive quirk neither she nor he had any idea how to train. It wasn't until he'd joined her merry little band that she'd learned the location of every clothing store in the city. Every single one of them.

Her life sometimes, she swears.

There was a shattering sound in the designated kitchen area, followed by a high pitched screech that fell somewhere between a frog croak and a chirp. Not even a second later the sound of footsteps darting through the tunnels at frankly ridiculous speeds creeked overhead, followed closely by the wall rattling thud of Bull chasing right after.

Escape Artist sighed, running a hand through her hair and pulling slightly. Beside her, Shark boy leapt to his feet in a dead run to go watch the drama unfold with unholy glee, Whiteout following at a slightly more moderate pace. Not even 8 in the morning and already the chaos had begun.

Her head thud quietly against the back of the couch. "I don't get paid enough for this shit."

---

Escape Artist was more than a bit concerned by what had happened on her way back home, but she supposed it could have been worse. For one thing, she wasn't dead, and for another, neither was the man she'd smacked headfirst into (or more accurately, he'd smacked face first into her). Unfortunately for the man though, the impact had left him notably unconscious and maybe a little bruised around the nose and forehead. In short, she done fucked up and this time it didn't involve another mouth to feed… she hoped. She didn't know if she had the patience needed to take care of a full grown man on top of the 8 kids at home and the 2 feral cretins that visited occasionally.

It'd been a simple case of bad luck all around, honestly. She'd just finished robbing the local Walmart (yes, it still exists and she still doesn't know how to feel about that months on) and was coming out of ID when she's suddenly been thrown to the ground by a speeding black mass all but flying through the darkened alley. Her first thought upon getting over her shock was to thank whatever was watching over her that night it wasn't a car. Her second was to fret over whoever she'd just gotten killed.

Luckily, it hadn't been a car and the stranger had survived the encounter. So, all was good in her books, besides the obvious part where the guy was laying unconscious in an alley and sporting an obvious hero getup in the shadier part of this district. If that wasn't asking for a knife in the back than she didn't know what was.

So now here she was, sitting across from the unmoving lump of man, chin in hand and elbows firmly planted on her thighs. She'd covered him up with a blanket from her inventory some time ago to keep him at least somewhat warm as the night gradually grew colder around them. She didn't think she'd manage to get the thing back before the guy was up and trying to kick her ass, but Hot Shot needed to learn to control his flames anyway and maybe going coverless for a while was just the motivation he needed to do so. She pointedly didn't think about the extra comforters she'd grabbed because she knew the first wouldn't last three nights in the little shit's care.

She blinked slowly, eyes roaming over what little bit of the man she could make out from under the blanket. Long, dark hair curling over the blanket and his heavily stubbled face (she'd picked the wild mass up off the filthy ground because ew), long lashes and a narrow, masculine face. He was attractive for sure, though the dark lines around his eyes, nose and forehead made him seem almost sickly pale in the unflattering street light. What she noticed most though was the peeks of sleek, firm muscle that the fluffy covers, ridiculously huge scarf and baggy clothing couldn't hide.

She was a woman with damn human needs. It'd been at least 3 years since she's gotten any and she was long overdue. She felt strongly that she should be able to appreciate this man's undeniable beauty so long as she kept her hands to herself and didn't do anything creepy like take pictures or some shit. She blatantly ignored the little voice whispering about how equally creepy it was to watch someone sleep without their consent.

It was also creepy how the observe function of her quirk let her learn a few tidbits about the man without any conscious effort, but for the most part she ignored the notifications hovering around the man all together. It wasn't like she'd ever meet the guy again after this, unless he was trying to arrest her of course. Either way, she doubted learning this guy's name or whatever was really worth invading his privacy anymore than her mere existence did. She'd like to think she has some standards.

In her uncharacteristic moment of distraction she failed to notice the subtle shift of the man's head before he went eeriely still. It wasn't until she was shifting to get more comfortable and noticed that a section of his hair was misplaced that she realized her mistake.

It happened too fast for her to properly react. With a quiet that belied the strength behind the attack, the man launched himself into her personal space and had her wrapped head to toe in the weird scarf he had with him. On instinct she tried to open her ID, but with a cold chill of realization discovered she couldn't get it to activate. In fact, her whole world seemed to suddenly swirl on its axis and for the first time since she'd come to this place her mind blanked with true, mortal terror.

His eyes glowed deep, sinister red against the shadows spread over his handsome face, dark hair whipping above his head like a dark, inhuman halo. Those muscles she'd been admiring just moments ago were suddenly the weapons of intimidation they were meant to be, something that made her heart race and quake with fear.

And her body. Maybe even worse than the sudden influx of terror was the sudden aknowledgement of her body's long forgotten functions. Where once she was satisfied she was now hollow, the movement of long unused organs felt like insects crawling though her body, scratching and nipping as they went.

Suddenly, the world was not just a thing that could be walked away from with a single though and a armful of goods. For the first time since she'd opened her eyes in that alleyway nearly a year ago, it was just her, the world and all the dangers that came with it staring her down with burning red eyes.

For the first time since she received her quirk she was well and truly alive.

"Escape Artist, was it."

#BNHA #Escape Artist AU #Gamer AU #Aizawa Shouta #Aizawa x Reader

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louisejfraley · 4 years

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Best Microwave

The top-rated microwave model that is selected by us is Breville Quick Touch. The reason behind its being best is the specifications that it has. Along with them, the size and some other features are just the best. It is selected after a thorough procedure of evaluation in a huge market. The incredibly amazing specifications regarding size, power, capacity or sensors are just up to the mark. For a number of meals, the large capacity can do well. The sensors used for detection along with the interface render the work easier for you as you can select a lot of menus. In addition to all of them, the Breville oven can make the work to be done quickly. Also read more all about microwaves – Click Here.

How To Find The Best Among All?

This can be a tough job to find the best microwave in a huge market full of a lot of different brands. You just need to focus on the features that you want. Just take a look at this in order to have an idea:

Largeness And Volume

It does not necessarily mean that a big oven can work well in every case because a small-size microwave oven can be equally effective as it covers a smaller area. The important thing to consider is the volume of the oven which is the inner space. The range of the best ovens must be from 0.7 to 1.5 cubic feet. You just need to consider this without bothering about the apparent size of the oven.

Preprogrammed Cooking Time

One of the best features of a microwave is preprogrammed cooking time. When you put a particular type of food inside the oven then the oven will automatically adjust its time of cooking according to it. It makes cooking easy for you. If you like to melt the pizza cheese or defrost the meat then you only need to put the particular food inside it. The microwave will adjust its time accordingly and will do it for you. From popcorns to potatoes you will get your food ready within minutes only by one touch option.

Complex Menu

Sometimes a microwave has complex menu buttons. On one hand, the one-touch buttons allow the easy use but on the other hand the complex menu buttons will make it difficult for you to cook various items. It is really important that a good microwave should have an easy operation and menu buttons. Though these buttons allow you to cook various foods by choosing your own settings but in some cases due to complex buttons, you will get confused if menu buttons are difficult to use.

Various Power Points

If a microwave is of high quality then it will have at least 10 levels of power. This option is available in most of the customizable microwave ovens. This feature is not necessary but if you are looking for a high-quality microwave oven then this feature is a must-have.

Why There Is A Need To Buy A New Microwave Oven?

There is always a need of microwave in your house. If you are single then it is really important to have a microwave to cook various foods. The main thing here is the need of the microwave. If you are planning to buy a new microwave then think about the needs. Think about the kitchen space where you have to place this microwave. If you have a small kitchen space then you must buy a compact microwave. If you are a big family or your kitchen space is large then you must have a large microwave to accommodate the needs of the entire family. If you will buy a new microwave then you will get many features with advanced technology. There are sensors with various power levels to cook accurately. The customized cooking menu will allow you to choose the settings of your choice. One of the best and advanced features of the microwave is its inverter technology. It maintains the regular and accurate power supply and at the same time makes efficient use of energy. There are many functions that have been introduced in modern microwave ovens. It includes programmed cooking, defrosting, one-touch buttons, and child safety locks. All of these features have added the convenience to the cooking. If you are looking for a microwave then it is really important to consider all those features that suit you. Besides all these features, the design of the microwave also matters a lot. Now a day, most of the microwave ovens have beautiful design and colors. You can choose the design and the color of the microwave according to the kitchen. Here is a list of top 5 microwave ovens with their specifications. You can choose according to your needs and budget:

#1 – Breville Quick Touch BMO734XL Microwave Oven

This oven is on the top of the list because of its features and great use. This oven is ranked among the best microwave ovens because of its performance and affordable rates. This microwave is really easy to handle and use. If you are looking for a microwave then you can consider the Breville microwave oven because of its calm handling. For beginners, this oven is really easy to use. It can perform all the tasks very well. It has 1.2 cubic feet capacity. The advanced sensor technology has added much easy to the use of the microwave. You can simply reheat or cook our food with only a press of a button. There is an option of Bit More, in case if your microwave hasn’t cooked the food properly. There is a screen with various programming options. You can adjust your time of cooking according to your food. There are 33 different options for various kinds of food. The LED screen of the microwave allows the more convenient cooking. This feature is totally different from the traditional ovens. If we talk about the internal space of the oven then this oven is not a good idea to buy because the internal space is not too much. For smaller families, it will be a good choice. On the other hand, the best thing about the oven is that you can easily clean it. The stains can be easily removed from it.

#2 – Kenmore 7212 Microwave Oven

This countertop model of the microwave oven is ranked on the second number because of its affordability and easy to use operations. It also has smart one-touch operations. It is ranked among the most affordable and easy to handle microwave ovens. The best thing about the microwave is its automatic sensors which sense the moisture of the food. If you are heating up some food having moisture then the sensors will detect the moisture and will automatically adjust the time of the heating. This microwave is really easy to use as it lacks too many features. There are two models of this microwave. One comes in stainless steel and other is white. The stainless steel version of this microwave oven is a bit expensive, so in case if you want to buy the stainless steel version, you will spend extra money on the microwave oven.

#3 – GE JVM3160RFSS Microwave Oven

The importance of range microwave ovens cannot be denied. These microwave ovens have advanced technology that uses the fan to regulate the airflow of the microwave properly. This feature prevents the microwave from heating up. It improves the overall efficiency of the microwave. This microwave is also spacious. It can accommodate the extra-large dishes. It is ideal for big families. If you are a regular user of microwave or you are a big family then this microwave is a must have for your kitchen. Here you can also control many features like you can choose the level of power according to the food. You can also defrost the food and automatically adjust the settings. This microwave oven lacks the one-touch buttons but there are some buttons like for popcorn. The most commonly used one-touch buttons like one-touch buttons for potatoes and popcorns has been added and it has aided a lot. It can be used by anyone especially if someone is a beginner.

#4 – LG LCS0712ST Microwave Oven

LG LCS0712ST microwave oven is ranked on the 4th number because of its compact size and use. This microwave is mainly made for the smaller kitchens. If your kitchen is small and cannot accommodate a large microwave or your family is small then this oven is definitely for you. The space inside the oven is less than other traditional ones but it is ideal for smaller families. Even you can adjust the microwave in smaller spaces and corners of your small kitchen. It has many advanced features like one-touch button for many foods like potatoes and popcorns. Though it is small in size the advanced features of the microwave oven make this oven ideal to buy. If we say that you will get all the advanced features of the microwave without compromising on the space then it will not be wrong.

#5 – Cuisinart CMW-200 Convection Microwave Oven

This microwave oven has been added to the list of the best microwave ovens because of its advanced features, large space and easy to use operations. If you are interested in buying a classy piece of the microwave for your kitchen then this oven is a perfect choice for you. If you want to add elegant looks to your kitchen then Cuisinart is the perfect one for you. The advanced features, beautiful design and the easy to handle operation of the microwave make this ideal to buy. The convection fan of the oven will allow you to cook your food in a proper traditional manner. It can be turned into convection oven when needed. There are many settings which will allow you to control your cooking in different ways. Like, you can warm anything by selecting the defrosting options. If you cook many things at the same time then this microwave will assist you to perform multiple tasks rather than ordinary popping of popcorns. The one feature that Cuisinart microwave lacks is the power level adjustment settings, but this feature is of less importance if we think about all other advanced features of the microwave. To perform a variety of cooking tasks this microwave should be at your priority list. The design, handling and versatility of the Cuisinart microwave make this oven special among others.

Things To Consider While Buying Microwave Ovens

There are many features that should be considered when buying microwave ovens.

Larger Capacity

The capacity of microwave matters a lot especially if you have a big family. If a microwave has a larger capacity and can accommodate your larger dishes then it is considered very useful. Similarly, if you have a small family then a compact microwave will be enough for you. It depends upon the needs of a person either you want to buy a compact or large capacity microwave. The capacity of the microwave ovens varies from brand to brand and model to model.

Microwave With Turntables

Now a day, many microwave ovens come with turntables. These turntables will turn your food after heating up or cooking. This feature is not necessary and mostly it is not preferred by the users. If you have a large quantity of food to cook then this turntable will be beneficial but in most of the cases, people do not pay extra for those turntables.

Advanced Features

With the advancement of technology, microwave ovens have also been changed from their traditional versions. Now there are advanced technologies that have been introduced into it. The sensor and the smart features of the microwave have added the ease to life. There are many advanced features that can detect the moisture of the food and adjust the temperature settings accordingly. The one-touch buttons of the microwave will allow you the convenient cooking. You can adjust various settings for instant cooking of potatoes, popcorns and vegetables.

Oven Range Microwave

If you are intended to buy an oven range microwave then there are many things that should be considered. You must look for the space for the installation of the oven. You must think about the needs that can be fulfilled by those ovens either it is going to handle your needs or not. If you are interested in buying those range ovens then it is also important to notice the ventilating feature of the oven. If you want to replace the oven then make sure that the new setup is compatible with the previous one. Replace the oven with the same brand in order to avoid the inconvenience. Make sure that the other features like the gas or electricity setup are also compatible with it.

Choosing The Precise Door

Microwave ovens come with different types of doors. Some have push buttons while on the other hand, some have handles to pull. The selection of the door depends upon the design of the kitchen. If there are smaller spaces in the kitchen then you must think about the direction of opening of the door. The handled door of the microwave will allow you to control your oven but a lot depends upon the ergonomics of the kitchen.

Cool To Clean

It is one of the biggest problems to properly clean the microwave. When you heat up the food then the oil and moisture stick to the walls of the oven. It gets hard with the passage of time and makes a sturdy layer of dirt on it. It becomes a problem to properly clean and maintain a microwave. It is very important to look for those microwaves which are easier to clean. For that purpose, you must look for those having fewer buttons or touch screens to avoid the inconvenience. The flat touch screens without crevices will allow you to clean your microwave properly. The crevices of button promote the dirt build ups but when you will go for the touch screen or smart microwave oven, then it will become easier for you to clean the microwave.

Things To Avoid While Buying Microwave Ovens

Just like a lot of things to consider while buying the microwave ovens, there are also a few things that need to be avoided when purchasing those ovens like:

Purchasing Without Taking Measurements

It is really important to take the proper measurements before buying those ovens. If you are having a kitchen with a specific space for microwave then it will be very unfair to purchase a microwave with a different size. However, if you are planning to buy a countertop microwave then it is also recommended to buy according to the space of the kitchen. It will be very unlucky if you have purchased a classy microwave but this isn’t compatible with your kitchen.

Ignoring The Inverter Technology

Now a day, most of the microwave ovens make use of inverter technology. The main purpose of introducing this technology is to make efficient use of energy. When a microwave oven uses the inverter technology then it adjusts the heat accurately and effectively. If you have adjusted the power to 5 then it will make sure that heat is at 50%. But on the other hand, the traditional microwave will set the power to 100%. The main purpose of using this inverter technology is that the heat is evenly distributed, power levels can be changed and to adjust the power levels accurately.

Ignoring The Wattage

Wattage is very important to consider while buying a microwave. The main mistake that most of the people make is that they ignore the wattage. The wattage of the microwave is not only connected with the size of it but it also indicates that how powerful an oven is and how well it will perform? So in order to buy a good microwave oven, it is really important to consider the wattage of the oven. If the wattage of the oven is more than 1000 then it is considered very powerful as compared to the others having low wattage.

Ignoring Ventilation

There are many other features like ventilation of the microwave that should be considered. If a microwave oven has a good airflow system then it can last longer. The ventilation system of the microwave varies model to model. It is important to consider the ventilation feature of the microwave in order to increase the lifespan of the microwave.

Buying Without Consideration

The biggest mistake you made while buying those ovens is that you do not think about the actual needs and go for the new features you do not know. This is the biggest mistake because choosing an oven for those features you do not know or even you do not need is very unsuitable. Some people buy those ovens having special buttons but they do not use them. It is very inappropriate to buy a microwave oven without knowing its specifications. Do not choose the ovens only by seeing its looks. Think about the need, space, price and features of the microwave oven and then choose the best one for you.

Worrying About The Bad Consequences

Some people do not buy those ovens because they fear from the radiations and its bad consequences. The microwave has added much ease to the life and technology has improved the use of those ovens. The radiations are only bad at higher levels. The doors of the ovens are made in such a way that helps to prevent the escaping of those radiations. It is highly advised to avoid the opening of the door while using microwave ovens. If you think that your door is damaged then immediately seeks the services of the contractor to fix it.

Choosing The Right One

A lot of features of a microwave oven have been discussed here. All these factors and features matter a lot in buying of microwave ovens. There are few things that need to be evaded to avoid getting wrong product, but if you want to buy the good quality product then this list of top 5 microwave ovens will help you to choose the right one for you.

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varricmancer · 5 years

Text

Lost And Found | 3

Pairing: Varric Tethras x OC

Word Count: 5,880

Summary: Instead of the nothingness she had craved, Crystal woke up in the world of Thedas. What had once been merely a story that she loved now seemed very real and she was right in the heart of it all. She soon finds a reason to live again and a love in the arms of someone as quietly broken as her.

Warnings: Attempted suicide (not graphic, but possible trigger). The OC has depression and low self-esteem, so don’t expect her to be some bright mary sue. At the same time, this sounds darker than it is. It’s going to have fluff and comedy and all that eventually, but OC has some growing to do first. She’s just not the usual strong and easygoing character many oc’s are. She’s more of a delicate creature. Also, it is Dragon Age, so there will be descriptions of war/battles/violence.

Notes: Would you guys be interested in a chapter from Varric’s POV?

The day after the Herald left the crossroads was spent packing up what Crystal thought she’d need to keep from her little borrowed hut. Giles had assured her that she was free to take anything, but she only wanted to take essentials considering how much traveling they’d be doing not only now, but in the future when they would need to move to Skyhold.

She left out what she would need for the remaining week, of course, but packed up everything else she wanted to keep. All she had to use were flour sacks until she could afford to get something better. All she determined worth keeping was the clothing she could actually wear, the fur and small blanket from the bed (she hoped for a decent place at Haven, but she also knew they were still starting out and struggling too), and the small collection of paper and charcoal sticks she’d been hoarding. She’d been itching to draw, but paper itself was hard to obtain for the common folk as it was all made by hand. Parchment was a little easier, but still hard to come by in the middle of the wilderness.

She spent several days like that, giving away what she couldn’t use and preparing the hut for the next occupant. It was on the third night that the sending crystal Varric had given her began to glow. She picked it up and sat on her cot in anxious fascination. She was a little worried about trying to keep up with a conversation on such a weird device, not that she’d been any better at them on cellphones. Texting was much more her speed. After a few moments, the crystal made a little sound like a delicate bell, followed by the rumbles of Varric’s voice.

“So, the Magistrate is standing there looking like he has a giant staff up his ass and goes, "I was looking for someone with your...special talents.” You can tell right away that Hawke has decided to fuck with the guy, because he gets that crazy grin of his going and says, “I'm guessing you don't mean my ability to juggle small rodents while humming Orlesian ballads."

There’s a rumble of laughter and Crystal realizes that he’s telling a story to his group, probably sitting around a fire at one of the camps. She smiles to herself and lays on her little cot, listening as he continues the story. She doesn’t even mind if he probably did the Thedas version of butt-dialing her. She found his voice comforting, a bit of familiarity in this strange land. She soon found herself falling asleep with a smile on her face.

***

It quickly became apparent after three more nights of the sending crystal activating that Varric was letting her listen to the stories on purpose. She couldn’t figure out why, but she was grateful. She’d spend her days helping where she could around the village, and her nights relaxing in her cot listening to the stories, some familiar and some he was clearly making up on the spot. Sometimes the others would join in and tell stories of their own, sometimes they would just discuss things that happened that day and their plans for the next. Anytime the conversation swayed towards discussing Crystal herself, she noticed Varric was quick to change the subject. She figured the others weren’t aware she was listening in.

The best reason she could come up with was that he’d been very observant and noticed she had the constitution of a terrified rabbit and had decided to try to let her get to know them a little bit before she ran off with them. It seemed like a very Varric-like thing for him to do, she supposed.

Tonight, however, she was hoping to hear it in person as it had been a week. She figured if they wanted to be technical they wouldn’t arrive until tomorrow, but she’d heard that the Herald had been spotted nearby and would most likely arrive in the crossroads in a matter of hours. Being that it was the middle of the afternoon already, she guessed they would most likely stay the night and leave for Haven the next day.

Thankfully, they would be arriving to see an improved situation. The sisters and Mother Giselle had already left for Haven days ago, taking the wounded soldiers with them. That cleaned up the area quite a bit, as people were able to take back their own houses and the area was no longer haunted by the screams of the dying.

With the supplies the Herald had given them, the people themselves were looking better. Everyone was well fed and clothed. Crystal had even gotten to bathe with real soap, simple as it had been. It probably wasn’t good to use it on her hair, but she didn’t care. She was clean from head to toe for the first time in weeks, even if she’d still had to use a bucket of water instead of an actual tub. She was just happy that the next time she saw everyone, she wouldn’t look like an unbathed goblin.

In fact, as she slipped in feet into the best looking pair of shoes she could find, she realized she’d unconsciously taken a great deal of care with her appearance. It had taken her nearly an hour to dry her long hair near the fire (good God she missed hair dryers), and she’d let the results fall freely down her back in cascading waves. She was pleased that the harsh soap didn’t seem to dry it out that much. The dress she was wearing was the best she could find, long and a lovely royal blue color, if a bit scratchy. Obviously, she wasn’t going to find something of amazing quality out in the middle of nowhere, but she looked decent enough in it and the color looked good with her brown hair.

She was growing nervous, she realized, as she began fluttering around her little hut. She was anxious to get out of here, yes, but that also meant she was going right into the middle of everything. She was terrified that maybe she was making a mistake and should just stick it out here, or at least wait until they went to Skyhold before joining them. That would be the cowardly choice, of course, but she’d never claimed to be brave.

She huffed in frustration and grabbed a precious piece of paper and one of her charcoal sticks, striding outside to sit near the little pond. There was a log stump there that she liked to use as a table, so she set her things down and observed the bustle of the little village. Soon enough she caught sight of Giles standing near the crossroads sign speaking to one of the Inquisition soldiers. She smiled and set charcoal to paper, letting her overactive mind quiet as she drew. The paper wasn’t what she was used, of course, and the bumps and ridges in it made her displeased with the result, but it would do.

After nearly half an hour, she judged her sketch good enough and cleaned the charcoal from her hands with a quick flick in the pond. She didn’t want to risk getting anything on the one good dress she had. Giles hadn’t moved from his spot near the stone fence, though the soldier whose ear he’d been talking off had since moved on, so she walked over to join him. He grinned when she got close enough, waggling his eyebrows in his exaggerated way.

“Well, don’t ye clean up nicely, lass.”

“I’m hoping after the past few weeks we’ve all had that we all cleaned up nicely,” she laughed, then shyly handed the paper to Giles.

“For me?” He stood up straight and took the paper, whistling as he looked it over. “Now, no ones ever made my likeness before, but even I can tell this is good.”

She beamed from the simple praise. “I studied art. Not sure what good that’s going to do me here, but it’s what I know. Anyway, this is just a simple thank you for looking out for me. You know I don’t have anything else, so this is the least I could do.”

Giles reached out and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. “Lass, ye don’t owe me a thing except staying safe. I feel like I’m sending ye right into the mouth o’ the beast, but the Herald lad seems a good sort. Certainly helped the crossroads, and I hear tell he shut down the fighting all over the Hinterlands. I think if I have to trust anyone with ye, it would be him and his lot.”

There was a commotion near the tunnel and the two shared a looked before observing as people crowded the party coming out of it. She sent Giles a little grin and wandered over, hoping it was who she thought it was.

The Herald and his crew were all riding new mounts, along with a few riderless ones behind them. The trip to Dennant was apparently successful. The mounts varied greatly from the Herald’s Fereldan Forder to Solas’s Red Hart. She was not looking forward to hearing that thing in person. It was bad enough in the game.

One of the mounts without a rider was a Battle Nug, something she’d never thought she’d see in her life beyond the screen. It was cute in a strange sort of way, with the rhino face and bunny ears. The hairless skin was cocoa brown, not unlike her own hair. Although the gorilla-like hands would take some getting used to. How did it not hurt it to run around on those things?

Varric separated from the party, trotting his sturdy looking pony over to her and jumping down as he grinned. The once over he gave her was fairly subtle, but not enough that she didn’t catch the way his eyes roamed over the curves revealed by her almost too tight dress. She could also see just how quickly he dismissed whatever he was thinking as he turned to observe the nug.

“Ugly, huh?” he chuckled. “Pretty sure he just gave it to us because no one else was buyin. Apparently, it’s a runt and when people actually buy these things they want em big.”

“It’s kinda cute in a way,” she shrugged, her smile widening when he groaned.

“You’re going to get along great with Red. She has two of the regular ones at Haven. She’s going to freak when she sees this guy.”

“Is that who he’s for?”

“Don’t know yet. When I said he gave it to us, I meant really gave. As in threw it in for free. I guess while it goes along easy enough, it’s really picky about who rides it. Wouldn’t let any of us touch him more than a couple pats. Dennant says it’s nice and well trained though,” Varric shrugs, and walks next to her as she goes closer to the Battle Nug.

As if it had sensed it was being talked about, the beast’s attention zeroed in on the two of them. Its snout wiggled as it scented the air, before releasing a loud huff and walking closer. Crystal reached out her hand and let it sniff at her, giggling as the heated breath tickled her. After getting in a few good sniffs, it batted it’s head against her hand, begging for pets. She scratched the area between his huge horns, the feel of the skin not unlike a hairless cat she’d once pet.

Suddenly, it surprised both of them when the Battle Nug dropped down and began trying to herd her towards it’s back.

“I think it wants you to ride it,” Varric chuckles, shaking his head.

Crystal stuttered, “What? I’m...I don’t even know how to ride.”

“How were you planning on getting to Haven?” Varric asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” she answered weakly, staring at the huge saddled back of the nug. “A wagon or something?”

“If that was the case you should have gone with the sisters. With us, you’d have to ride. I suppose if you’re really scared you can ride with one of us, but it looks like this big lug has chosen you, so maybe you can give it a try at least.”

She bites her lip and stares as she tries to gather enough courage to climb up. The nug is still nuzzling into her side, trying to encourage her, she supposes.

“I’m wearing a dress, Varric.”

“The saddle is big enough that you could sit side saddle. I’ll help you up.”

She sighs and lets Varric lead her to the side of the beast.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m not a big fan of riding either, but it gets the job done,” Varric shrugs and laces his hands together as a makeshift mounting block.

She straightens her back, nodding in a show of fake bravery. She places her hand on Varric’s shoulder and is momentarily distracted by how solid it felt under her fingers. Thick and muscled - and flexing? A quick glance at Varric’s lazy grin and dark eyes is enough proof that he knew where her mind had gone and was maybe showing off a little.

She flushed and quickly lifted a leg, stopped by Varric clicking his tongue.

“The right leg first for side saddle.”

She nods and does as he says, placing her right leg in his cupped hands. He boosts her up a little and she scoots into the leather saddle. The squeal she makes when the nug stands up was embarrassing, and Varrics slow chuckles didn’t help.

“Alright, now these guys are pretty slow so you don’t need to worry about speed. Reins are fairly easy; left and right, pull back lightly when you want to stop. Press into him with your thighs to go.”

Crystal releases the death grip she has on the saddle horn, reaching for the reins. Her hands are shaking and she’s sure the nug can sense how scared she is because he’s not making any sudden movements; just stands there patiently waiting. She exhales and digs her thighs in and the nug starts a gentle trot. She barely has to do anything with the reins as it makes little circles and walks up and down a tiny stretch of road, occasionally shaking its head and looking back at her.

The Herald had joined Varric as they stood watching her, and she waved at him and sent him a little shaky smile.

“Look at that. He wouldn’t let any of us on him, and now he’s prancing around like a pony. Look at him showing you off,” Maxwell chuckled as he greeted her.

This wasn’t so bad, she mused. She relaxed a bit and let the nug wander around until it walked back to the rest of the mounts. She pulled the reins back gently and it stopped completely, dropping belly down so she could slide off easily.

She was a little unsteady still from the adrenaline rush and nearly fell as her knees buckled. Varric was quickly at her side, wrapping a thick arm around her waist as Maxwell reached a hand out in concern.

“You good there?”

She nodded and grinned sheepishly, “Just a little shaky. First time rider.”

Maxwell grimaced with sympathy, “Yes, I remember my first time. I couldn’t sit well for two days.”

Varrics sniggers quietly and she rolls her eyes while Maxwell continues on, oblivious.

“Make sure you used creams or oils to make it a smoother ride.”

Varric’s snickers have become outright guffaws and Crystal finds herself giggling when Maxwell stares at them in confusion for a full minute before he finally groans.

“Varric, you have the sense of humor of a child.”

The dwarf’s laughter quiets slowly and he shrugs, flashing the Herald a playful grin.

“Anyway,” Maxwell begins with a sigh, “Since the nug hasn’t let anyone else ride him and it appears he’s decided he likes you, he’s yours,” he nods towards Crystal.

Her jaw drops and she looks between the Herald and the giant beast.

“Oh, really, I couldn’t.”

“Of course you can. I’m giving him to you. He was free, so it’s not like it’s a great burden. And before you can use any other arguments, the Inquisition will handle his basic care needs like food and such. Congratulations.”

She opened her mouth to retort but with nothing coming to mind her jaw snapped shut. She sighed and flushed.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. When you get a moment, please join us for a meal and we can discuss the events of the last week and our future plans.”

With that, Maxwell saluted the two of them and sauntered off, whistling.

“He’s kind of a brat, isn’t he?”

Varric snorts, “Yeah, a bit.”

Crystal sighs and looks at the Battle Nug that is now snuffling into the ground.

“So now the only thing I actually own in this entire world is a giant pig-rabbit.”

“Seems like it,” Varric laughs.

“I’m not as ungrateful as I sound, I promise. Just...overwhelmed, I suppose. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with a great big beast like that. I suppose a plus side is if we meet any bad guys on the road, he can just sit on them and save me from having to fight.”

Varric shakes his head with a grin and gestures for her to lead the way back to the center of the village where everyone was meeting up. They are both silent for a few moments before he clears his throat.

“You look nice, by the way.”

She blushed and really fucking wished any of the clothes here had pockets so she could shove her hands nervously in them like she wanted.

“Thanks. It’s a miracle what eating every day and using actual soap can do.”

Varric snorts before returning the acknowledging wave of the Herald once they were close enough.

The party is sitting outside of her hut, of all places. Giles winks at her cheekily as he settles into one of the stools he’d dragged over for them to use and proceeds to dominate the conversation, pelting everyone with questions. She knew it was mostly because he was just a talkative fellow, but also because he knew that she preferred to listen.

Talking to anyone, especially a big group of intimidating people like this, was incredibly hard for her. Back in her world, she was a certified medication-guzzling socially anxious mess with severe depression. Here in Thedas, she was simply known as shy, which amused her.

The village was already at work preparing the fresh rams that they had brought back, filling the air with the scent of roasting meat and the sounds of excited villagers. Crystal leans her back against her little hut and wills herself to relax, listening to the now familiar voices of everyone around her. Her fingers itched to sketch the little village, knowing it was her last night here among these people. She’d start with her own little hut, she muses, perhaps at dawn when the sun just begins to color the sky. Maybe one of the children as they sit in rapturous fascination whenever she tells them a story. She’d already drawn one for Thomas of his sweet daughter that he’d lost. He’d cried and thanked her with a fierce hug that brought tears to her own eyes.

“What do you think, Crystal?”

She straightened quickly as she was jolted out of her thoughts, glancing at Maxwell in confusion. She’d been so out of it, she hadn’t even realized Giles had gone to get them food.

“Pardon?”

“We were just discussing our travel plans. It took us a little over four days to get here from Haven, but that was also because we made minimal stops since most of us are used to travel. We were wondering if you would be fine with that or if we should think on factoring inn stops into our plans?” Maxwell explained with a kind smile.

“Oh, God, no. No need to do anything different for me. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It wouldn’t be a bother. Personally, I like to stay on the road as much as possible, because that’s less paperwork I’m forced to do.” Maxwell grinned as the others chuckled lightly.

“So...if you’re talking about taking me with you, everything went well?” she asked tentatively, still slightly afraid that her very appearance in Thedas might have changed even the small things.

“Oh, yes. Everything was just where you told us, even the ridiculous Druffalo. The caches of supplies are on their way as we speak. We closed all the rifts except for the one by the river you told us about. Set up very comfortable camps on all the marked spots. Took out the Templar and Mage hideouts. We were all very impressed. Obviously, we haven’t delved into your future knowledge that you say you have yet, but this was enough to know that at the very least you seem to be on our side for now.”

Crystal released a relieved breath, finally able to release weeks of tension. She’d be in the thick of things, but she’d also be surrounded by those that could protect her the most.

“Thank you.”

Maxwell nods, pausing as if to catch his thoughts before asking.

“You seem like...there’s something specific that you’re wanting protection from. That you believe we can protect you from, specifically. Are you...able to tell me what that is?”

She chews her lip in thought, trying to figure out what she should say.

“I’m not sure? Honestly, I don’t think I’m the smartest person, so I’m never quite sure my logic behind what I can and can’t share is sound. I’ll be happy to go over things more once we get to Haven, but I think I can at least tell you we should start stocking up on travel supplies and weapons. Haven doesn’t seem the sort of place that would withstand an attack, does it?”

They all looked mildly disturbed by that, but Maxwell nodded in thought. She was relieved no one asked her to go into detail, because she wasn’t sure how she would have been able to talk her way out of that. She was afraid if she told them too much, it would create so much change that she wouldn’t recognize the story anymore and be worthless.

Giles soon brought them bowls of roasted meat and vegetables, and they were all more than happy to change the talk to more pleasant things. Varric and Maxwell both were very nice about asking her questions and trying to draw her into the conversation. Cassandra acted like she wasn’t there most of the time. Crystal knew it was most likely because she still considered her a threat so she tried not to be too hurt by it. Solas seemed as content as her to merely listen to those around him. She was especially glad he paid her no mind.

“Excuse me, Miss Crystal?”

She turned towards the shy voice of one of her favorite kids in the village, Malcolm. He was like her little shadow most days, and was always quick to ask for a story or for her to teach him how to draw.

“Good evening, Mal. Did you need something, buddy?” She asked with a fond smile.

He shoved one of his hands practically in her face as he handed her what appeared to be a rock.

“I worked all day doin’ chores for Ma so I could give you this. It’s a heating rune. Cuz you’re gonna be traveling and hate the cold like me. You just press your finger here and it warms up, but it doesn’t hurt or nothin’. So you can keep your tent warm and it works in water too!”

“Wow, Mal! This is so nice. Thank you!”

She grins at the blushing boy and means every word. If this thing works like she thinks it should, she can look forward to toasty tents on the road. Damn she hated being cold, especially after these last few weeks with nothing but a thin blanket to warm her. She leans over and hugs him tightly.

“You’ll remember to keep up with your drawing, right? I expect you to send me a drawing every now and then so I can see your progress. I’ll send you some of whatever I see too, okay?”

“Kay!” Malcolm grins and runs back to his parents. She smiles at the little rune before tucking it into her pocket.

“You didn’t mention you had a suitor,” Varric smirks.

She snorts and plays along. “Oh yes, he’s lovely. He catches me frogs and only wets the bed twice a week. The catch of the ages, really.”

He huffs a little laugh before turning to the group.

“Did I ever tell you guys about the time Hawke bought a mine?”

Crystal grins and leans in to listen, even though it was yet another story that she already knew. The way that Varric told them always made them sound new, however. She could tell the parts he was embellishing heavily and tried to contain her commentary. She was amused by Maxwell’s gasps of surprise and Cassandra’s eye rolls when Varric tried to describe the dragons in terrifying detail. Mostly, she was just happy to be sitting here listening in person.

Varric was so expressive when he told a story. His hands waved enthusiastically, and his face showed every emotion. He timed everything perfectly to get the reactions he wanted, smirking slightly whenever someone was shocked or appropriately enthralled. She soon discovered that she’d been focusing so much on him that she’d missed most of the story, too entranced by the dwarf himself.

She needed to get over this fascination with him, and fast. That way lay heartbreak and pain, she was sure of it.

She yawned loudly, hoping the others would catch on. Thankfully, Maxwell must have been looking at her because he yawned too.

“I think we should all get some sleep. We have a long few days ahead of us,” he grunted as he stood up and stretched.

The others murmured their agreements, slowly getting up and putting the stools to the side.

Giles scratches his belly as he looks them over.

“We have a couple o’ empty huts that you lot can use. You’d have to squeeze in there, but it would probably be a nice break from tents at least.”

“I have one extra cot in mine as well, if it’s needed,” Crystal ventured quietly.

The party spoke amongst themselves and eventually it was decided that Solas and Maxwell would share one hut, Cassandra would take the other as she wanted to bathe in privacy. Of course, this left...

Varric’s smirk as she glanced at him in surprise was gone so fast she could almost believe she imagined it. Everyone wandered towards their assigned places for the night, leaving Varric to open the door for her.

“After you,” he said softly, standing to the side as she tried to get past him before he could see her blushing.

Maxwell ran up and threw Varric his pack of supplies before he could enter. He accepted them with a grunt of thanks and shut the door, bringing the wooden bar down to secure it.

Crystal was practically vibrating she was so nervous. Logically, she knew that nothing was going to happen and that the chances of him being genuinely into her beyond friendly flirting were zilch, but she couldn’t help the rush of anxiety she felt just being in a room alone with him.

“So, uh, the cots are over here. The one on the right is a little more sturdy since it belonged to the man who owned this place before. I’ll take the smaller one,” she winced as she heard how shaky her voice sounded. She hated that he probably thought she was some freak scared of her own shadow.

He nods and smiles gently, seeming to pick up on her nervousness.

“If you wanted to change into your night things, I promise I won’t look if you don’t. I must protect my virtue, after all,” he drawled. She couldn’t help the giggle that escaped over his stupid joke, letting him lighten the tension in the room a little.

She peeled off her slippers and tucked them away into her bag of supplies. She’d use the more sturdy boots she had for the journey. She snuck a quick peek at Varric, finding him turned all the way around facing the wall as he shucked his own clothes. She nibbled her lip nervously and quickly pulled the dress up and off, leaving the thin white chemise on to sleep in. Unable to help herself, she looked out of the corner of her eye towards the dwarf behind her.

He’d already torn off his shoes and shirt, leaving him barechested as he struggled with his belt. She inhaled lightly as she watched his back muscles rippling like some damn romance movie hero. She turned away just as quickly, knowing that with his skills he’d probably know if someone was watching him.

She cleared her throat and instead focused on finishing readying for bed. She went to the little table that she’d turned into a sort of vanity and poured water into a bowl for washing her face and a cup for brushing her teeth. She missed the convenience of running water and tubes of toothpaste, not to mention her creams. This place was drying the hell out of her skin.

When she was done, she poured everything out and cleaned up the area.

“There’s still plenty of water left if you need it,” she said softly.

“Yeah, thanks,” he rumbled, his voice close enough that she figured it was safe to look.

She wanted to groan out loud and barely stopped herself from doing so. He’d changed into some comfortable looking pants at least, but he’d left his chest bare. Judging by the look on his face, he knew damn well the effect he had on her and did it on purpose. She didn’t even like body hair, but she couldn’t stop staring at him. He’d even pulled his hair from its tie, letting flow freely. It wasn’t that long, just towards the middle of his neck, but it was still such an intimate thing to see, she thought.

He chuckled as she turned to busy herself, trying to keep her mind on other things besides half naked dwarves that were too handsome for their own good. She set her bags near the door for easy pickup in the morning and started the fire, knowing that the hut would be ice cold in a couple of hours if she didn’t.

Once it was blazing she stood with her back to it, letting it warm her before she tried to sleep with her one little blanket. The first thing she planned to do once she figured out how to get money here was going to be buying at least five blankets and the stuff to make proper pillows, not the blocks they used here.

She was swaying slightly with her eyes closed, listening to Varric humming and cleaning himself as she tried to relax enough to get to sleep quickly. She heard the splashing water stop and sounds of a towel being unfurled, then suddenly he growled.

Her eyes shot open and she stared wide-eyed as Varric’s face turned hard and tense with hunger. His hooded eyes traveled the length of her body, and when she looked down she realized, to her utter horror, that the chemise was so thin that standing in front of the fire had made it damn near see through. She could see everything, and if she could, so could he. She blushed wildly but rushed past him and jumped into her cot, covering herself with her threadbare blanket.

She could hear him breathing heavily, like he was trying to calm himself. A few moments later he walked over and pulled a blanket from his bag, settling into the cot that was so close to her own she could practically feel his body heat.

He turned on his right side as he got comfortable, facing her. In a surprising show of bravery, she turned towards him as well. They both lay in silence for a few moments, looking at each other with only the flickering light of the fire, studying and weighing each other.

She knew he was at least somewhat attracted to her, but she also knew he was probably fighting it because of his loyalty towards Bianca. Though she was sure he messed around at least somewhat, but never seriously and never with feelings. And Crystal, no matter how attracted to him she’d turned out to be, wasn’t the type to do anything casual. She grew attached too easily, was too needy for flings. She had a feeling he could probably tell and that’s why he was able to restrain himself.

She sighed curled up more into her little blanket, starting to feel a little more tired now that the heat was starting to fill the little hut. The only thing she needed now was Varric’s familiar voice rumbling through the sending crystal.

“Why did you let me listen?” she suddenly blurts.

Varric’s soft grin says he was expecting the question sooner or later.

“I thought it might help. Woman all alone in a strange place, about to travel with a bunch of scary warriors for almost a week. Figured it might help you get to know us a little and at least let you know we weren’t planning on chopping you to bits or feeding you to a dragon.”

“I was so very worried about the dragon too. Bless you, sir.”

He chuckles and sends her another little smile.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Crystal fights her blush and whispers, “Goodnight, Varric.”

She turned away and faced the wall as she willed herself to sleep, trying not to focus on every little sound he made. It was a very long night.

#dragon age #dragon age fanfic #fanfiction #dai #da2 #varric tethras #varric #varric fanfic #varric fanfiction #varric x oc #varricmancer

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frejahertziswritingthistime · 6 years

Text

Blue soda

This was a request, but unfortunately, I’ve lost whoever requested it – I’m so sorry! If you recognize it, let me know so I can add you to it!

Prompt: Could you do a Sam x reader where they’ve been best friends forever and act kinda couple-y (without realizing it), and one night while curled on the couch, reader asks him about his opinion of soulmates (if they exists, if he thinks it’s just like romantic or platonic) and in the end, he turns to her and admits his feelings for her?

I’ve written this from Sam’s POV, just to mix it up a little.

I hope you’ll like it!

Remember, I always say yes to requests and feedback feeds the writer (seriously, it means the world to read your comments and feedback)!

MASTERLIST

Pairings: Sam x reader

Warnings: Language, so much fluff your teeth might rot

I wrapped my arm around Y/N’s shoulders, pulling her taught against my body. I grinned down at her, as she emitted small “umph” when she smacked against me, but she wrapped her arm around my waist as well, and our pace became unison. She was carrying a large grocery-bag, and it swung slightly from her wrist; it was movie-night tonight, which meant an abundance of popcorn, candy and weirdly colored sodas. It was her little thing – she wanted clear soda, or blue soda – anything that was weirdly colored or had a weird name, had to be consumed.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out and pressed the answer-button in a swift motion. “Sam?” Dean asked. Y/N poked me in the ribs, making me squirm; damn her, she always did this when I was on the phone. I tried to ignore it. “Yeah, what’s up, Dean?” Y/N grinned up at me wickedly, before assaulting my ribs with her fingers. “Wait, Dean, hang on.” I looked down at her. “Stop it, dude! Stop trying to assault me!” I said with a smile and took her hand from my ribs and intertwined my fingers with her, letting our hands swing a little between us. She stuck her tongue out to me. “Hey, earth to Sam! If you’re done flirting, I’m trying to tell you something.” I rolled my eyes. “We’re not… Just, what do you want, Dean?” I said and felt my heart beat a little faster – I might be flirting a little, but I couldn’t help myself. She might be my best friend, and it was off-limits, but I couldn’t help, how I felt. I wasn’t going to act on it, anyway.

“Jody called. She needs help, it looks like a vamp.” I groaned. “Seriously? Dude, we just got back.” I could almost feel him rolling his eyes. “I know, man. Listen, I told her I’d go. You and Y/N can stay back. She’s still not healed up fully, and I know you’ll never leave her alone, you lovebird.” I looked down at her; she was looking around at the green trees, not a care for my conversation with Dean. “Alright, I guess. If you’re okay with it?” He sighed. “Yeah, man. Just… Step up, won’t you? I’m giving you at least three days alone, so get a move on, scaredy-cat.” He hung up, before I got a chance to answer. Fuck you too, Dean.

“What was that about?” She asked, swinging our hands as we neared the car. I shook my head. “Jody called. Vamp-problem, apparently. She needed help, so…” Y/N’s face fell. “Damn, are we leaving already?” I smiled a little and shook my head as I popped the trunk open. “Nope. Dean’s got it. Besides, you’re still hobbling around, your ankle isn’t healed yet.” She groaned and rolled her eyes at me, before she got in the car. “It was barely a sprain. I’m fine, Sam.” I kept my mouth shut, but cocked my eyebrows at her, starting the car up.

“What!?” She asked, smacking me on my shoulder. I grinned and grabbed her hand before she slapped me again. “Didn’t say anything.” I kissed her knuckles gently, before I let her hand go. She huffed and crossed her arms. “Knucklehead.” She muttered with a smile. I simply grinned at her.

Two hours later, we were comfortable on the couch, a bowl of popcorn, a bowl of candy and poisonous blue soda on the floor, and Y/N curled up against me. She was halfway on my lap, her small arms curled around my body and her head was resting on my chest, her eyes focused on the shitty horror-movie on the TV. I gave very little for the movie and was content with watching her being engrossed in the movie and running my hand down her back. She was beautiful.

“God, I hate remakes.” She mumbled. I shifted a little under her, and she looked up at me. “Why?” I asked, popping a handful of candy in my mouth. She shrugged. “I don’t… They’re all terrible, mostly. I mean, sometimes, they completely ignore the original movie and the plot, and just… I don’t know. The actors suck, the plot sucks, there’s more of a focus on boobs and baby-oiled abs, than anything.” She frowned as a death-scene flew over the screen. “Especially this one. The original Friday the thirteenth was amazing. Like, amazing. This one is just… A clusterfuck of boobs, blood and bad plot.” I chuckled. “There’s not one redeeming quality in it?” She shrugged again. “Maybe that they reused some of the old score. But at the same time, it feels like an insult.” She smirked a little and pointed to the screen. “Okay, that’s one. Have you noticed, how much he looks like you?” I looked at the screen and shrugged. She giggled and laid back down on me, watching the rest of the movie.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” She asked, as the credits rolled. “Anything.” I answered. She drew a deep breath and cuddled closer to me. “It might sound weird but bear with me.” I waited for her to continue. “Do you believe in soulmates?” I frowned. “What brought this on?” She shrugged, which made her entire body roll, and made my jeans very, very tight. I cleared my throat. “Uhm, I guess. I’ve never really thought about it.” She sighed a little. “I have. I mean, it might not be the classic soulmate-thing, you know. I think friends can be soulmates.” She said in a small voice. I straightened my back a little, and she moved a little, so she was looking at me, her back against the couch.

“I think so too. I mean, platonic soulmates are a thing, right?” She nodded. “Yeah. Like… I consider you my platonic soulmate.” She grinned at me and nudged my shoulder. “Thanks, that makes me all warm and tingly.” I said with eyes rolling. She laughed a little. My heart was pounding. She looked at me like that, like I was the only person she’d ever care about, and my heart swelled in my chest. Damn it, I was in love with her. It felt all-consuming, warm and perfect. If only she knew.

“I don’t know, I kind of wished it was a thing. You know, the whole I saw you on the street, and I fell in love-thing. I think I would like that, no matter how cliché it sounds. To be that in love.” She looked at me mournfully. Almost like… She regretted something. “Me too. That all-encompassing love.” I said in a low voice. She nodded with a sad smile. “Yeah.”

We sat in silence, but I was sure she could hear my heart hammering. I had been in love with her for so long, and I had tried to bury my feelings for her, forget how she looked at me, forget everything I loved so deeply about her. Just so I could be friends with her. Every single touch, every time I woke up next to her, her hair in my face and her steady breath on my chest, made me feel so damn alive, as if I could barely function without her. Damn it all to hell.

“Hey, Y/N?” She looked back at me. “Yeah?” I drew a deep breath. Get a move on, scaredy-cat. “I… Uhm.. About the whole soulmate-thing.” She nodded. “I believe in it. A whole lot, actually.” She smiled. “you’re only saying that because of Arwen and Aragon.” I chuckled a little.

“No. I’m saying that because of you.” Her eyes widened, and her jaw slacked. It might have been funny, had it not been for my absolute terror of admitting my feelings; but I couldn’t stop the words, tumbling out of my mouth.

“I didn’t believe in soulmates, before I met you. I… Uhm not exactly a dream-boat, I know, but yeah. I met you, and you know that feeling of the world just standing still for what seems like a lifetime? I felt that, the first time I saw you. And I… I just knew. It was this feeling in my stomach, and I just…” I threw my hands out. Why couldn’t I just tell her? “You’re like light, Y/N. You just seep in through the cracks, and you light up all the darkness around me.” She looked completely taken aback, and I suddenly got afraid that she was going to back away, leave me and forget our friendship. I grabbed her shoulders lightly and looked her in the eyes.

“Listen, we can go back, Y/N. If this is too much, if it’s… If I’m being a complete ass, we’ll forget it. I’ll forget it.” I said. My voice was shaking. Her eyes searched mine, flitting over my face. Her small hands cupped my face and a small smile spread on her face.

“You, Sam Winchester, are an idiot.” And then she was kissing me. Her lips sparked something inside of me, as if I had never truly drawn breath before now, and I deepened the kiss, desperate for more of her, every feeling and every touch. It was intoxicating. She tasted like summer, like skittles, warmth and honeysuckle, and she smelled like lilies and rain on a hot summer’s day.

She pulled away slightly, her hot breath fanning over my face. She looked at me with a big grin on her face.

“Arwen and Aragon.” She whispered. I chuckled and rubbed my thumb over her cheek.

“Arwen and Aragon.” I whispered back, before pulling her into another kiss.

FOREVERLIST: @supernaturalmagicfolk, @redeyedvixen, @al1y, @roonyxx, @heyitscam99, @sherlockstolemyname, @tayyfvck, @starletzombie, @jensenyourdeanisshowing

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genius-with-a-j · 6 years

Text

Welcome to YouTube Incorporated

So I’m a big fan of @shamefulbirb and her Evil YouTube Inc. AU (if you haven’t seen anything of it, you should really check it out, she draws some amazing art and her AUs are beautiful) so I decided to write something about it. Essentially, this takes place in a universe where Google has taken over the world. This might be the first part of an ongoing story, but it could also be a standalone. I haven’t decided yet.

It's a beautiful world.

It's a technologically-advanced world, a world where no one need worry about crime, a world where everyone knows that they're protected by Those That Watch.

Across the globe, things reflect the wonderful state of things and the benevolence of Those Who Help. Perfect neighborhoods sport perfect houses, all the same except for their color. The houses follow a consistent pattern down every block, always the same no matter where you are. Blue-red-yellow-blue-green-red. It's a pattern that any good citizen is familiar with and knows means comfort and safety. Inside each of these perfect, colorful houses, is at least one resident of the world now known simply as Alphabet, an appropriate amount of Alphabet approved furniture, and Alphabet technology.

Those Who Observe are kind enough to make sure that all of its residents have access to state-of-the-art technology and because of their generosity, every household has what is known as a Google IRL: a lovely android that can answer any question that its owners may have, and that can assist with anything that they may need. Each Google IRL is also loosely in the image of a particular celebrity, known by all of his adoring fans as Merry Markimoo.

Merry Markimoo holds the status of a Chosen One, one of the highest honors that a citizen of Alphabet can achieve. As such, he gets to live outside of the colored neighborhoods and is allowed to reside in a special zone known as YouTube Village. There, he has a giant estate and access to anything he could want for filming. He produces content for YouTube on a daily basis and his videos reach an audience of billions. Many of Alphabet's residents dream of living such a lifestyle and make videos in hopes of someday reaching the heights of their YouTube idols. Many others are content just to watch and be entertained. Either way is supported by the compassionate ones who watch. They make sure that everyone has access to the devices needed to access YouTube, as well as all of the other excellently designed social networks and websites that Alphabet is kind enough to allow its residents to access. Though they are known to be highly monitored, and there is a general awareness that anything considered not suitable for the world at large is removed from the Internet in its entirety, it seems like a small price to pay for access to such wealths of information and content.

After all, it's a beautiful world. Sometimes speech has to be regulated in order for it to stay that way. The residents just aren't as knowledgeable as Those Who Observe them, and sometimes need guidance to keep the peace.This is fine.In fact, it's more than fine. It's natural. It's normal. No one questions it or tries to fight the system. Why would they? Alphabet is a good place. Google, Alphabet's wonderful technology corporation, is a force for good. Everybody knows that both Those Who watch and Google itself only want what's best for their residents.

So they consume content, the way they're supposed to. They spend hours on YouTube, watching everything that the Chosen Ones produce, happy for their entertainment. They wake up every day and log on, excited to see what their favorite creators have in store for them next.

And nobody stops to wonder what it's like to be one of those creators. They already know. It's lovely, full of riches and everything one could ever want. They even get beautiful collars to wear, complete with a shiny red YouTube Play Button. The ultimate status symbol that comes with getting a million subscribers, something that every small creator dreams of getting.

Everything is beautiful. Everything is perfect.

Everything is fine.

"Hey babe, can you come in here for a minute, please?"

The cry rang out through the large house that was courtesy of YouTube Village. There was an odd quality to it, it sounded strained somehow. Like the person crying out was trying to mask fear with a sort of cheeriness that just didn't sound natural. Worried, the woman being called for--the new Mrs. Erin Douglass--quickly set her Chromebook aside and headed towards the bathroom where her husband of one month stood in front of the mirror.

"What's wrong, Jack?" she asked, her voice hushed. She had passed their terrifying android, Google IRL, on her way into the room. It was standing in the hallway, seemingly awaiting orders.

He turned his head to look at her, a huge grin on his face. She knew immediately that it was fake; she could see the strain in his eyes. She noticed there was a small cut on his chin, and it was bleeding a little bit. "I cut myself shaving," he told her through grit teeth, “and I made the mistake of saying a certain word."

Her eyes widened as the realization dawned on her. Unable to keep herself from making a face, she glanced at the bright red collar that her spouse wore. "It shocked you," she stated, crossing her arms. She had known for a while that it was something that the infernal device did, despite the fact that he had tried to hide it from her for the first few months of having it.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah," he said, exhaling through his teeth. "And it was a doozy."

She frowned. "I hate that they do that to you."

"Censorship is important, we wouldn't want to ruin this perfect world they've created," he told her, voice dripping with sarcasm.The giant fake grin remained, and she hated it. She wished he would stop smiling at her like that.

Sighing, she walked over to the towel cabinet and took out a washcloth. She wet it in the sink, wrung it out and then held it out to her husband. "Hold this on your chin."

He nodded and did as she asked. The grin faded a little. "Sorry to bring you in here, Erin. There's nothing you can do about this." He gestured to the collar with his free hand.

"I can support you," she told him earnestly. "I can't get rid of it, but I can stand here and tell you that it's going to be okay and that they're bastards—"

"Ow!" he yelped, dropping the washcloth. He looked at her incredulously.

She looked back at him, eyes wide. "Did they shock you? For something I said?"

"Yes! Apparently I'm not even allowed to hear curse words now." He bent down and picked up the washcloth, chuckling to himself. "They're playing hardball today, apparently." He looked at her, eyes twinkling. "To me, that seems like they really want me to make a video."

She couldn't help but smile. "It does seem that way, doesn't it?"

He nodded, and she could see the gears in his head turning. He stood there for a little bit longer, holding the washcloth to his face, and she waited with him. She wasn't going to leave him alone with his little YouTube prize from hell. She knew he appreciated her staying because he flashed her a genuine smile.

"I have a couple video ideas for today," he said, a gleeful ring to his voice. "I think I could get a couple good ones filmed. Heck, they'll be posted by tonight since YouTube does all the editing now that I'm 'Chosen.'" That distant, daydreamy look in his eyes faded after a second and he refocused, coming back to the present moment. He looked at Erin and his brow furrowed. "Babe, I know you have work to do, but—"

"I'll stay in the room while you film," she promised.

He looked relieved. "Thanks."

The bleeding stopped after not too much longer. Once it had, the cut was hardly visible at all. Erin knew that even it had been visible, it wouldn't show up in the finished videos. The YouTube overlords would see to it.

The second he was out of the bathroom, Jack got to setting everything up, a huge shit-eating grin on his face. She watched him chuckle to himself as he got the camera ready and did all that other YouTube stuff that she didn't know much about. There was a method to his madness, she knew, as he grabbed his Chromebook and pulled a bunch of stuff up, but she had no idea what that was.

Finally, after what felt like way too long, he looked at Erin. "I need you to help me keep track of what they shock me for. This is going to be a trial and error, I think. If you can just help me remember what words and phrases do it, that'll help me with some scripts in the future."

"Ah... okay," she agreed, her stomach sinking. She really didn't want to see Jack get shocked again.

"It might not happen at all," he said quickly, seeing her expression. "That's possible. I've gotten pretty good at dancing around their little algorithm, so I might get out scot free. I'm just trying to cover all the bases I can."

With that, he switched on the camera and smiled widely at it. "Yesterday I asked you what I should ask Google IRL. We all have one, courtesy of our loving, compassionate overlords, so we might as well use them, right? So I'm going to be reading your best suggestions, and I'm going to throw in a few of my own too. Okay Google!" he called.

The robot came in and Erin shuddered. She hated that thing. She glared at it as it mechanically walked past her and took its place next to Jack on the couch. She crossed her arms.Glancing at the screen of his Chromebook, Jack started. "Does Canada exist?"

The robot looked at him, its eyes unfeeling and cold. "No," it answered in a monotone. "The country formerly known as Canada is now part of Alphabet."

"Okay Google, do it be like it is or how it do?"

The android continued to look at him, its gaze steely. "That is not a coherent question, I cannot answer it."

"Okay Google, who stole my meme?"

"Memes are not property of those who create them. As soon as they are posted, they belong to Google. Therefore, no one stole your meme. They borrowed content from Google."

Jack grinned cheekily. "Borrowed, of course. Because no one could steal from a beautiful and powerful company like Google! It's just not possible. How kind of Google to let lowly peasants borrow its property. What a charitable conglomerate they are." Then he paused. "Alright, my turn! Okay Google, which one of us is more free, me or you?"

Google IRL glared at him and Jack's hand flew to his neck and he winced. Quickly, he glanced at Erin, who made a mental note: not a fan of asking about freedom."Being 'free' is a social construct that we in Alphabet disregard. We have no need for that word, as we instead have protection and safety given to us by Those Who watch."Jack smirked, though his eyes showed that the shock had jarred him slightly. "Ah, of course. I forgot how you feel about four letter F-words." He turned back to the screen and Erin could see him momentarily look for another question. "Okay Google, ya like jazz?"

"I have no opinion on jazz," the machine responded.

"Okay Google, is..." he spotted a question and his eyes glittered. He glanced at Erin, smiling slightly. "Is my marriage a hoax? I don't think it's real."

"Only you and your spouse know the answer to that question," IRL answered.

"And here I thought you were all-knowing," Jack shrugged. "Alright, well, I guess that's my turn again. Okay Google, define dystopia."

"Dystopia: an imagined place or state in which everything is unpleasant or bad, typically a totalitarian or environmentally degraded one," IRL answered immediately.

The YouTuber nodded thoughtfully, making deliberate 'eye contact' with the camera. "Imagined is an interesting word," he said, rubbing his chin. "Moving on!”

It went on for a few minutes like this, as Jack alternated between viewer nonsense and his own subtle jabs at Google. Erin just watched, making mental notes of when he got shocked. There was only one more incident, which occurred when asked Google IRL if it was “DTF.” Of course, after being shocked he remedied it with “Difficult to Figure Out” then made some joke about the “O” being silent. After he’d finally finished and turned off the camera, he asked Google IRL to go stand in another room, which it did, after a moment of unnerving blank staring.

“Was there a point to that?” Erin asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Besides just pissing them off?”

“Absolutely!” he agreed. Hurrying across the room he grabbed his Chromebook and started typing furiously.“What the hell are you doing?”

“Ow!” he complained, twitching a little with the new shock, though it didn’t seem to deter him at all. “Please, Erin, keep it family friendly.” After a second of silence, he seemed to realize she was still waiting for an answer and explained, “I had to figure out what I could and couldn’t say so I could release some merch.”

She blinked. That was not the answer she’d been expecting. “What?”

“Hey, a YouTuber’s gotta make a living,” he said, eyes twinkling mischievously. “What do you think about ‘You’re a YouTuber? Shocking!’ with a play button collar for the ‘O’ in shocking?’”

“That’s terrible and you’re going to get yourself killed.”

He shrugged. “Hey, they’re not all winners.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “How about ‘IRL: I Really Love... Google!’”

“How does that make your point at all? That’s just you being sarcastic.”

“Being sarcastic is my point!” Jack responded, chipper. “How about an acronym for Google? Hm... Great organization only gives... love...? Hm... well, I could do this as a YIAY question, I guess.”

She shook her head. “Why do you insist on poking the bear?”

“Because I live for the adrenaline rush!” After a second, however, his smile turned to a frown. “Hey Erin, I’m sorry you’re caught up in all of this. I don’t know that you knew what you were getting into when you said ‘I do.’”

“Oh, I knew,” she promised him. “And we’re in this together, Jack. As long as they don’t put one of those collars on me,” she added, teasing.

He grinned. “I mean I can help you set up a channel if you want.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, I’m good on the terrifying overlords over my shoulder and around my throat all the time, thanks.”

“Alright, but you’re missing out. These are state-of-the-art, very trendy.” He angled his head to show off the gleaming red collar, not losing eye contact.

“Hmm, as tempting as it is to put a literal shock-collar on for the sake of looking stylish, I think I have to pass.”

“Suit yourself,” he told her, shrugging. “It’s only uncomfortable most of the time.”

She shook her head again and he pulled her in and kissed her.

“Thanks for staying, Erin.”

“Yeah, yeah, Douglass,” she shot back affectionately. “Really I’m just in it for the bigger house.”

He pulled back, grinning again. “It is a nice house!” he agreed. “Now, do you want to help me design some merch or not?”

She sighed, but sat down on the couch as he plopped next to her. “Alright, Jack. Let’s pi—er, tick off our all-powerful overlords.”

He smiled and without another word, the two got to work.

#tw: electrocution #jacksfilms #evil youtube inc #erin douglass #dystopia #google irl #i've been wanting to write this forever #i love this au #youtube #youtube au

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redslilstories · 6 years

Text

Working on forever

Author: lilyme (aka. redslilstories aka me ;)) Summary: A talk between mothers about their daughter's upcoming birthday reveals a life-altering decision. Pairing: Callie/Arizona Rating: PG Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show “Grey's Anatomy”. They were created by Shonda Rhimes and belong to her and the ABC network. No copyright infringement intended!All mistakes are mine.

Callie was in the kitchen of her apartment when a melodic sound on her notepad informed her of an incoming facetime request.

She knew who it was. Arizona had asked her for a talk face to face. Or... as face to face as they could get, given the fact that they were thousands of miles apart.

She had tried to contact her earlier, but the other woman hadn't been there. Most likely still at the hospital working on a case. Or out running errands with Sofia.

Wiping her hands on a towel, she went to prop up her tablet on the counter and take Arizona's call, seeing the blonde's face pop up on her screen after two taps.

“Hey,” she greeted with a smile.

“Hi there,” the other one returned, pleased to see that Callie was still up at this hour. With the time difference, it was about 1 AM in New York, and she would have understood it if the brunette hadn't answered – but was more than happy that she had. “Sorry I'm calling just now. I got held up at work. I hope I'm not interrupting anything,” she pondered, and the brunette noticed Arizona's gaze wander to the slight mess behind her.

“That? Yeah, no, sorry,” Callie noted with a wave of her hand, “I'm just cleaning the kitchen up a bit. I, uh, you know, made some of those extra special birthday cookies for Sofia. I was gonna send them out in a day or two. And since her birthday is on Easter again this year, she'll get an extra special Easter edition,” she grinned, looking at the moderately-sized box she had prepared. “A more or less funny-shaped edition”.

The colorful box contained all sorts of cookies, from Easter eggs in all forms and sizes to adorable bunnies to some weird looking, smiling duckies. She really was not the best at decorating cookies, and they often came out a little misshapen. But she knew Sofia would love them nonetheless. And the cookies weren't the only present, of course. There were also two of Sofia's beloved Beanie Boos – a unicorn and a bear - as well as a new book on planets and astronauts eagerly waiting to be shipped.

“Actually...,” Arizona began, "uh, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," she confessed, becoming a little more serious. And most of all nervous. Because she had something important to discuss. And she didn't know how Callie would react.

"About funny-shaped cookies?" the ortho surgeon tried again, detecting the slight chance in mood and gaining awareness that something was going on. Even with years apart, she could still read Arizona. "Oh, God," her eyes became big, as she wagered what the problem might be. "You wanted to bake those cookies with her and now I'm ruining your idea...," she cringed.

The cookies were a birthday tradition they had going for several years now. It was a recipe they had found in one of Sofia's kiddie magazines. And ever since Sofia had insisted on getting them for her birthday each year. So, Callie and Sofia had baked them every time her birthday was around the corner.

However, with this year being the first time Callie wouldn't get to be with Sofia, she had decided to bake some as a surprise present.

It also helped her relieve some of the pain she felt upon the awareness of Sofia being thousands of miles away on this special day.

Of course there could be a way to be with her. But Callie had not dared to ask, feeling it was not her place. Like a lot of things weren't after she had moved her life to New York... for basically no reason, as it now turned out.

It was not that she didn't like New York. She loved it here. Her job was great and she slowly but surely gained her reputation as an excellent, if not the best ortho surgeon on the East Coast. She loved the buzz of the Big Apple and everything that was to do here. It was a great experience she wouldn't miss. Although she really could live without the terribly cold winters.

Yet... nearly two years ago, she had moved her for a reason. A sweet and kind redheaded reason.

But this reason was gone now.

Had split from her life around November of last year.

There hadn't been any bad reasons for this happening, or any nasty feelings involved. They had just come to realize that over the course of their relationship they had at some point fallen out of love and into 'like' with each other. The truth of the matter dawning on them after Sofia had gone to Seattle for the year and they had had more time to themselves. Living alone and sharing their life as just the two of them.

And while they had still enjoyed being with each other, they had both agreed that their mutual liking would not be enough to sustain a relationship.

Thus she now found herself alone in New York. And often lonely as well.

Sometimes she reminisced about her Seattle life and what... who she wished to have with her here. And that did not just mean Sofia. But at least her baby girl would return to her in three months time. The other part, however... seemed too much to ever consider asking for.

"What? No, I suck at baking...," Arizona's angelic laugh brought her out of her thinking and Callie noticed the little crease on the bridge of the blonde's nose. It was the confused laugh crinkle that she had always found adorable. And still did. "And Sofia knows that. No, I...um...," the blonde stalled, unsure how to begin. And albeit out of sight, Callie could visualize her nibbling on her fingers. Always a sign that she had something on her heart.

"Arizona...," Callie said in a still amused tone, urging the other woman to share her thoughts with her. Whatever they might be.

"Promise to not freak out, alright?" the blonde pleaded with her ex-wife and Callie braced herself for what was possibly to come. "I... wanted to ask you if you wanted to give Sofia her present herself in New York and not send it via mail," Arizona finally brought out and Callie... scrunched her eyebrows.

This was really not what she had expected to hear from the woman's antics. She had been prepared for a shocking revelation or some outrageous request. But this...

"You want to send her to New York for her birthday?" she questioned and at the same time wondered what could be bad about that. The only freaking out in this scenario on her part would be of a very good kind.

"Yeah. That is, if you don't have plans already. I know spring break is only one week after. But I've talked to Miss Kenney already, and she'd be more than okay to give Sofia some homework for the week. So... It'd be two weeks in New York. I mean, if you're okay with that. Plus, she told me she misses her friends there. And I know she misses you too," Arizona explained, happy to see a twinkle of joy in Callie's dark eyes. She knew Momma Callie longed to spend some quality time with their daughter as well. Not having seen her in way too long a time.

"Of course!" the brunette could all but agree to this idea as a brilliant smile took over her features. Having Sofia back in her arms for two whole weeks, it was everything she could hope for.

Almost everything.

"I'll call up some of her friends' parents. Maybe we can have a little surprise party for her. I think she'll love it," Callie proposed.

"Definitely," Arizona smiled at Callie's enthusiasm. But she ardently hoped the other woman would be as excited about the second half of her plan. "Um, but there's more".

Callie almost missed the last remark as her mind already worked on what else to do and see while Sofia was here. But still it registered, and she picked up the tablet and walked into the living room to sit down. She kind of had the feeling she needed to. "It is a freak-worthy as the first part?" she joked, to keep the atmosphere light.

"A little more," Arizona bit her lip, looking into the sympathetic eyes that seemed to be looking right into her soul from thousands of miles away.

This could be good, right?

Or it could turn out horribly.

"Okay. Tell me," Callie encouraged, not for the first wishing she could actually be there in person. She really wanted to help Arizona. Like always when she saw she had something serious on her mind. That would never change.

Arizona closed her eyes for a second and exhaled a breath, knowing there was no turning back now. And not wanting to turn back.

But what she had to say, would change the course of their lives forever. Whichever the turn-out would be.

"It's just... that I've come to realize that my life in Seattle... doesn't feel right for me anymore. Hasn't in a while now. And it's not work. Work is still amazing and very fulfilling," she explained. "But on the private side, I've been less lucky".

She avoided eye contact and Callie's heart went out to her.

All these years ago, she had let her go for a reason. They had been stuck in a rut and hadn't been able to get out of it together. The bond of their marriage not strong enough to pull them out. So she had made the cut, wanting for them both to find someone else to help them out of this... and let them thrive again the way they were supposed to.

It had worked for herself. Until recently.

And she really had hoped for Arizona to find someone as well.

But apparently...

"Uh, don't get me wrong. I've dated some. Had my hits and misses. Kisses some frogs and bedded some," she laughed, and Callie smiled briefly. "But I've come to realize that I don't want to keep going with these casual relationships that were little more than... just sex," she admitted and fixed her eyes on Callie. She needed her to understand what she was about to say. And she needed to see her reaction. "And I know... why I didn't let them go any further than this and become more substantial. Because I... realized... that there is a love in my life that is far greater than what I would ever have with anyone else. And that I need to be with her. And for me that means... I need to follow where she is now. And... And Sofia loves her more than anything. So I think she'd be tremendously happy about this".

"Oh?" Callie questioned, baffled for a moment.

She wondered who this lucky person could be that could make Arizona decide to move. Especially considering what she had said just moments before about none of her relationships going anywhere serious. And it was someone Sofia adored as well.

It sounded a little mysterious. But she was certain that if this woman made Arizona happy and made her baby girl happy as well, then it had to be an amazing person and someone she would be okay with.

She realized that the blonde now was basically in the same situation she herself had been two years ago. Moving on for a person she loved. She just hoped Arizona would find a more joyous future. And she really deserved it.

Still Callie felt her heart ache in sense of that last final loss, despite her wanting to be happy for Arizona.

For her Arizona.

Always hers.

Even if now someone else would get to experience all the love she had to give.

She thought to know why Arizona would propose for Sofia to stay in New York for a few weeks. Arizona would have a lot of things to prepare and do before the big step. For one, telling Bailey the news. She was certain the chief would not like it any less than her own departure. Every hospital longed to have Arizona Robbins on staff, as she was one of the most brilliant surgeons the world hat ever seen, and it would be a true loss to Grey Sloan Memorial. Then there was also the task of finding a place in her new town.

Callie was about to open her mouth to ask where she was actually going to move. But then she finally realized the pleading blue eyes concentrating on her.

Portraying her all the emotions she was feeling.

And then it dawned on her that Arizona was talking about... her.

"Oh!" she repeated more firmly, as her mind worked to process this information. Her body already a step ahead, letting tingles run through her as excitement chanced to arise within her.

She hadn't dared to hope for this to happen. Feeling it was futile after everything that had happened to and between them.

But now that there was a shimmer of hope...

"You mean...?" Callie needed to make sure, but deep down knew she had understood correctly.

Arizona nodded and bit her lip once more in anxiousness. Only slowly relaxing when she saw a soft smile creep into Callie's perfect features.

"And you were asking...," Callie prompted in anticipation, wishing for Arizona to ask for something she really longed to happen.

Confronted with the warm reaction, it now was Arizona's time to smile a little. "I was asking if I could spend spring break with the two of you in New York for starters. I mean, if you're willing to give us another chance... And I'd like to take you out to dinner while we're there."

Callie lowered her head for a moment, shielding her face from Arizona's view. But the blonde could feel she was crying.

"Oh, Cal...," the breath caught in Arizona's throat at what she saw. Until a second ago it had seemed the brunette returned her feelings and would be happy for her to come over to New York. But... had she been wrong after all? "Calliope. Please don't. I..."

"I'm just... I didn't think this'd happen," Callie brought out between sobs. Happy, teary sobs as Arizona finally noticed upon the brunette looking up again. "I've never dreamed it. No, I dreamed it. But I've never thought you'd really want to come back to me," she smiled with quivering lips.

"I do, Calliope" Arizona breathed in relief as her finger inevitably moved over the warm surface of her tablet as if to wipe away the falling tears. She wished she could be in New York sooner than later to actually be able to hold the other woman. The way it should be.

"Oh, God," Callie swiped her fingers over her cheeks with a laugh as she saw Arizona's hopeful eyes watching her. She remembered Arizona's proposal. "I want a date," she nodded firmly. "Hundreds of dates," she joked, still trying to dry her eyes. "But... the thing you said about following me... do you really mean it?" Callie inquired through her joy. It would be a big step. A life-changing one. For all of them.

Arizona smiled as her own tears threatened to spill. "Seattle was my home. But my home is where you are. So I will move to New York, if you'll have me. I can be a doctor wherever. But I cannot be without you any longer. I want you, Calliope," she confirmed. "And I'll be more than happy, if you wanted me too."

"I do," she smiled. "And I can't wait for you to be here".

She wasn't naive. She knew there was still work ahead of them. As a couple and as a family.

But from now on, they would be working on forever.

END

#fanfiction #fanfic #calzona fanfiction #calzona forever #callie torres #arizona robbins #canon better send Arizona to New York #calzona all ways

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dipulb3 · 3 years

Text

2021 Lincoln Navigator is American exceptionalism made manifest

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/2021-lincoln-navigator-is-american-exceptionalism-made-manifest-2/

2021 Lincoln Navigator is American exceptionalism made manifest

Big boi.

Andrew Krok/Roadshow

Why do American automakers flounder when tasked with creating a luxury vehicle that has to compete with the Germans? It always seems like Uncle Sam has a hard time meeting muster when compared to anything beyond his own shores. But no more. The latest Lincoln Navigator dramatically ramps up the effort, bringing a level of fancy-pants-iness that is truly world class.

Plush interior appointments

Interesting color schemes

Quiet, comfortable cruising

Don’t Like

Truckish ride quality sometimes

Thirsty

Loud massagers and other trifles

All of Lincoln’s latest SUVs have really ramped up the effort, but nowhere is that more apparent than on the flagship Navigator in its top Black Label configuration. The Navigator on my driveway carries the new-for-2021 Special Edition package, a $6,695 upgrade that adds more exterior flavor through a black-and-white motif that includes a black roof, a black roof rack, black wheels and a monochromatic grille alongside Pristine White paint. It’s a good look, but man, that’s a big chunk of change for some mild add-ons. No matter the package, though, the Navigator strikes an imposing shadow — and not just because it’s the size of a Chicago brownstone.

The 2021 Navigator Black Label’s interior is amazing. It’s the best-appointed American luxury car I’ve had the pleasure to drive, and it’s every bit as posh as what you’ll find at a Mercedes dealership. This one carries the Black Label “Destination” theme, which is meant to represent French elegance, I think, somehow. But I don’t need a marketing degree to appreciate this stunning full-red leather interior, which plays well with the dashes of similarly colored trim on the dashboard, doors and center console. While the Cadillac Escalade puts in little effort to hide its parts-bin engineering (you can find the steering wheel buttons on, like, half the cars GM makes), every piece of the Navigator feels special, from the metal rocker switches on the steering wheel to the knurled volume knob on the center console. Nearly every surface is either padded or leather-lined.

Usability abounds in the 2021 Navigator. The large center console floats above a sizable stash tray, with two tiers of pockets on each door and a decently large cubby under the center armrest. While you can option a center console to rest between the second-row captain’s chairs, my tester lacks this, making third-row ingress and egress insanely easy. Hanging out back there isn’t a big ask, either, thanks to some spacious proportions; there’s an extra inch of legroom than what you’d find in a similarly equipped Mercedes-Benz GLS-Class, and my 6-foot frame should be comfy back here for hours. The standard-wheelbase Navigator offers about 20 cubic feet of cargo space behind the third row, which is OK, but flipping a couple switches to fold those seats down offers up closer to 60 cubes, expanding to 103 when you minimize the captain’s chairs, too.

Honestly, the 2021 Navigator’s interior is so well thought out that its only apparent flaws are dumb little things that most people probably won’t care about. The infotainment screen bezel is cartoonishly large. The cup holders are surprisingly tiny. The seat massagers are louder than the competition’s. The blinker stalk’s movement is too soft, leading me to miss the three-blink detent. Silly minutiae like that.

One carryover that Lincoln should be proud of is the engine under the hood. The 3.5-liter twin-turbo V6 is the same that you’ll find in the Ford Expedition and F-150, and it’s a peach. Producing 450 horsepower and 510 pound-feet of torque, the Navigator is never left wanting for forward motion, as the six-pot provides a wave of readily available torque that makes the whole shebang feel surprisingly sprightly. The 10-speed automatic transmission moves through the gears smoothly. In a majority of operating conditions, the 2021 Navigator’s ride is properly smooth, with the only real ride-quality issue coming into play over sharp bumps, where you get some body jiggles, which are only exacerbated on my tester thanks to its 22-inch wheels.

Sure, you could drive it like a monster, but the Navi is best when treated like there are three VIPs in the back. Roll softly onto the gas and make liberal use of the well-tuned brake pedal, and you’ll be rewarded with smooth operation. Its body-on-frame underpinnings also bestow it with some solid capability; check the box for the heavy-duty towing package and you can drag 8,700 pounds from here to Timbuktu.

Luxury is costly, and that includes at the gas pump, too. The 2021 Navigator Black Label is EPA-estimated at 16 miles per gallon city and 20 mpg highway, numbers that I was able to meet but not beat over a couple hundred miles of driving. There’s an Eco-specific mode available to numb inputs and make it easier to be efficient, and it does help a bit. There’s also a Sport mode, which must be some kind of joke I’m not smart enough to get, because under no circumstances should anyone attempt to drive this dwarf planet in any remotely aggressive manner.

Lincoln could’ve leaned much heavier on the Ford parts bin, but in not doing so, the Navigator feels just that much more special.

Andrew Krok/Roadshow

The Navigator’s complement of in-car technology starts dead center on the dashboard with a 10-inch touchscreen display running the latest version of Ford’s Sync software. The on-screen icons are easy to read at a glance, and Ford’s telematics getup is easy to get used to, but you can always rely on Apple CarPlay or Android Auto if you prefer a smartphone-style experience. In addition to the central screen, there’s also a 12-inch gauge display, which sports a minimal layout that I really enjoy, displaying only the most pertinent information. A head-up display reduces distraction even further. When it comes time to charge, there are USB ports in every row, with the foremost occupants treated to both USB-A and USB-C outlets. The Navigator lacks the whiz-bang, dashboard-wide screen experience of the Cadillac Escalade, but it’s still a good setup.

The truck-adjacent side of the automotive industry is no longer bereft of the same safety systems that are found on passenger cars. The 2021 Navigator comes standard with Ford’s Co-Pilot 360 suite of active and passive safety systems, which includes blind-spot monitoring, rear cross-traffic alert, automatic emergency braking with pedestrian detection. Adaptive cruise control with stop-and-go capability is a $695 premium on lower trims, but it becomes standard as you move up the ranks. Of course, the Escalade can one-up the Navigator here with its Super Cruise driver-assist technology.

Hopefully the screen’s bezel is hilariously large because Lincoln intends on upgrading the display size later on.

Andrew Krok/Roadshow

Expectedly, the 2021 Lincoln Navigator is not a budget-friendly conveyance. Its starting price of $77,840 (including $1,295 for destination) only rockets northward when options are taken into account. This Black Label model is about as equipped as it can get, and its $106,115 price tag is quite the pill to swallow, until you realize that the similarly powered Mercedes-Benz GLS580 pretty much starts at the six-figure mark.

If pure luxury (and some capability) is what you’re after, the Navigator stands atop the pile of large luxury SUVs. In terms of outright comfort, the Mercedes GLS-Class is probably its closest competitor with its super ride quality. Those looking for the latest driver tech will want to check out the Cadillac Escalade with Super Cruise. Other body-on-frame competitors include the Infiniti QX80 and Lexus LX 570, both of which are rather old underneath their revised exteriors. There’s also the Range Rover, in case you want to ditch the third row and add the ability to drive through nearly 3 feet of standing water. Hey, you never know.

Cast against competitors or not, the 2021 Lincoln Navigator is an exceptional SUV. Its Black Label trim brings an impressive level of luxury to the table, while its underpinnings give it a great deal of capability, whether that covers interior space or towing. It’s a shining city on a hill, a rolling testament to prosperity and power that makes you feel important the second you slide behind the wheel.

Climb in the driver’s seat for the latest car news and reviews, delivered to your inbox twice weekly.

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tisfan · 6 years

Note

Ooohh holiday prompts! Either 'invitation' or 'parade' for Winteriron please!

“Hey,is this Bucky Barnes, from Bucky’sBroken-heart Blog?” the voice onthe phone was chipper, excited, and spoke as if the guy had drunk entirely toomany venti frappes in a row.

Bucky held his cell phone away fromhis ear for a moment to glare at the screen. What the hell? Okay, so his phonenumber technically was listed in the bio section of his blog, but who the fuckever looked at that, and for that matter, why the hell was someone calling himabout his blog? Most people who bothered to call him were bill collectors andhis mom.

“Yes?” Bucky said.

“You sound uncertain,” the mansaid. “You answer ‘how to get over your ex’ letters on the internet?”

“Yes,” Bucky said, again. That muchwas true, he did do that. It had started as a joke, really, him screaming intothe void about his journey to get over Alexander Pierce, and then later makingdark humor jokes about his ex, and then later, answering self-help sort ofquestions from other people with similar problems.

He’d ended up being able tomonetize bitching about Alex in a public forum, and somehow, that had ended upbeing the best revenge ever.

“This is Tony Stark, DJ with WBAC,the Wayback FM, 98.3 on your dial for your smiles,” the man said, “and I’d loveto have you come in for an interview on our morning show, for the localcommute… we’d compensate you for your time, of course.”

Bucky held the phone out again,stared blankly. “Did I get an invitation to do a radio show? Is that what thisis?” Did people even listen to the radio anymore? Bucky was a Pandorasubscriber, and his friend Steve was constantly arguing that Spotify was betterif you liked Indie bands. (Bucky didn’t, really. He liked music that he wasfamiliar with, so he could just tune it into the background and sing, insteadof having to look up lyrics online – and while he was thinking about it, hefelt bad for people who used to listen to the radio before the internet, andmaybe he should be jotting these things down, because music was a big thing inboth relationships and post-relationships, and there were certain songs he’dlistened to after Alex proved himself to be a cheating bastard of a boyfriend…and maybe he should pay attention, because the guy on the phone was asking ifthe call had been dropped.)

“Sorry,” Bucky said. He wasn’t,really. Who the hell talked on the phone these days, either? “I got lost in myown thoughts.”

“Oh, well, that happens to the bestof us. Anyway, come on down to the studio – is Wednesday two weeks fromtomorrow too early –” pause “–great, we’ll do that, Wednesday at 6am, andwe’ll work you in. Compensation, I said that, right? Write you a check and feedyou donuts. Great! See you then!”

Bucky sighed. Apparently he wasdoing a radio interview. At least he probably didn’t have to dress up.

Turned out that Tony Stark, themorning DJ, was actually pretty funny, even if Bucky resented the fuck out ofhaving to get up early in the morning to listen to the show. (What the fuckeven was morning? He was a blogger for fuck’s sake. He didn’t do mornings!)He and his co-host, Pepper Potts, did a rapid patter that was entertaining andslick. And, a point in the station’s favor; they didn’t do the typicaldumb-guy, smart-girl routine. In the days that Bucky managed to wake up enoughto listen to the show, Pepper definitely came across as the sane host, and Tonywas the crazy guy who was up for anything, but neither of them wascondescending to the other, even in jest.

Tony did have a group of excitablefans that called themselves the Tony Stark Defense Squad; every day that Buckylistened, at least one of them called in to the show, usually to gush about anevent Tony had attended, or how sweet, smart, and brave Tony was. There wassome history there that Bucky wasn’t getting, obviously.

And there were no punch-down jokes,which Bucky appreciated. He’d had his entire sexuality made out as a punchlinefor a lot of his life, so not hearing any cracks on women, gays, people ofcolor, etc, made him pretty happy. (Well, as happy as he could be at seven inthe damn morning. Tony better have quality donuts. And coffee.)

By the time Bucky was ready to goon the show, he had to admit, he kinda had a little bitty crush on Tony Stark.Which was entirely doomed, he knew that. Everyone had heard the phrase “a facefor radio” and Tony probably didn’t look anything like what Bucky wasimagining. And, of course, the real Tony probably wasn’t much like radio Tony,even like Bucky wasn’t entirely like his blog persona.

The one who had his life togetherand who dared to give advice as if he was qualified for it. But whenever hisreaders wrote to tell him how much just having someone that listened, andcared, about their heartbreak, helped them, he couldn’t give it up. No matterhow much of a faker he felt he was.

He arrived at the station, day ofthe interview, a little early. He wouldn’t confess under threat of torture thathe’d mapped out his route twice on google maps, and had made the drive once,just to make sure. Bucky didn’t usually… go places. He had his routine downthat included getting a local service to deliver his groceries (he bought wayless Twinkies if he didn’t walk past the display, not to mention chips andstring cheese.) and going out maybe twice a month to anyplace that wasn’tClint’s house, or Steve’s place, or sometimes he did things with Nat when shedecided he needed some sort of cultural exposure, but she always drove for that.

“Hey,” Bucky said to thereceptionist, a skinny kid with a large nametag that read Peter.“I’m James Barnes, I’m here for–”

“Yeah, yeah, Mr. Barnes, I know,I’ve been waiting for you, thank God you’re here, Mr. Stark’s been climbing thewalls, well, you know, not literallyclimbing the walls, but… let’sget you down to the white room and we’ll do some quick publicity shots whileyou’re still fresh. Mr. Stark tends to frazzle people, so just– yeah, thisway, come on…”

Peter led Bucky down the hall to aroom with a huge light-box. A woman with a comb and a makeup kit did a fewquick adjustments before Peter shooed her away with a “photoshop is a thing!”admonishment. He took a few dozen pictures, headshots, and dynamic poses andthen had Bucky jump into the air a few times to get “action” shots.

Bucky was panting for breath and alittle sweaty by the time Peter directed him to Studio Four. Of course. He wasabsolutely not at his best when he was introduced to the most beautiful manBucky had ever seen.

Why the hell was this guy a radiodisc jockey? He could have been a movie star. Perfect face, gorgeous hair,adorable little goatee. And oh, holy fuck, when he turned around to introduceBucky to the co-host, Pepper, Bucky’s gaze was drawn down to the most beautifulass in history. Like, there should be a monument to that backside.

Pepper, when she shook Bucky’shand, smiled, her eyebrows up, as if she knew exactly what Bucky was thinking.And didn’t exactly disapprove.

“Welcome to the morning show,” shesaid. “Sit down, I’ll get you a donut. Here, look over this list, Tony’s selecteda bunch of breakup songs to play around your interview, let me know if any ofthem are triggering for you, and I’ll strike it off the list. We’ll be on afive minute delay during the interview, so if there’s a question you’reuncomfortable with, or something you don’t want to talk about, just say so, andwe’ll delete that. We’re here to promote you, and entertain our listeners, notmake anyone unhappy.”

“Does everyone around here drinkhigh octane?” Bucky whined, just a little bit plaintive. There was way too muchawake and go-go-go for this early in the morning.

“Yes, yes, we do. Coffee is awonderful thing, divine invention and all that,” Tony said. He pressed a cupinto Bucky’s hand. “And here’s yours. I don’t know how you like it, but we’vegot all the fixings back here. And you’ll sit there; chocolate donut okay? Ofcourse it is, what kind of heathen doesn’t like chocolate, well, aside fromPep, but she’s every sort of heathen, so that answers that question.”

“Yeah, okay, chocolate, yeah, that’s…you’re fine, I’m–”

Tony smirked. “I know I’m fine,” hesaid, winking. “You’re not so bad yourself. Next time, warn a guy, like wow. Iwas expecting a little more basement dweller, little less underwear model.”

“Tony,” Pepper said, shoving herco-host playfully. “Do not flirt with him.”

Tony pouted, giving Pepper, andthen Bucky, an enormous set of brown bambi eyes. Bucky could absolutely havedrowned in those eyes. “Why not? He’s cute. I want one.”

“Well, you can’t have one,” Peppersaid, firmly. “He’s a guest, stop bothering him.”

“I don’t get an opinion, here?”Bucky asked. He couldn’t help grinning. It’d been a while since anyone flirtedwith him at all, much less someone as knock-out gorgeous.

“See? See, it’s fine, we’re fine,come on, interview first, flirt later. Flirt during. Something. We’ll figure itout.”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, okay. Flirtduring. That’ll be good. I’m off my game here, so by all means, let’s get meall flustered during my first official live broadcast.”

Pepper laughed. “Okay, you’ll dogreat. And I’ll just… stay out of the way.”

Tony flicked a switch in the boothand Little Mix’s Shoutout to my Excame on. “Good lead in, don’t youthink?”

“Sure,” Bucky said.

“Great. Sit down, get comfy, andwe’ll get started,” Tony said.

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