#this live slug reaction thing is fucking hilarious

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

hihi slug!! what are your thoughts on the shuffle drama track now that its out? i had a lot of fun listening to it and liked most of the dynamics a lot ^^

I haven't listened to it yet, but I have some free time tonight, so I guess it's time for a Live Slug Reaction. (Under a cut for length)

You can follow along with a detailed summary here. I'll put time stamps to show where I'm at too.

(1:03) Wait, so - this is considered canon, right? And it's taking place after the second DRB? I'm guessing Freestyle Gladiator is some sort of promotional program Chuuouku is at least partially involved with, and that's all fine and dandy, but has the rest of the plot just stood still while this has happened? Like... is Ramuda not still deathly ill? Is Jakurai still supposed to be working for Chuuouku even though Honobono reneged on Jakurai's terms? Are the Buster Bros still at odds with Rei? What's going on with the whole Juuto's job thing? I guess this is probably supposed to be a funny bit so the plot doesn't apply, but I have a few questions about the logistics of it.

(1:07) I already laughed about this when the preview came out, but it's STILL hilarious to me that the first thing Ramuda ever says to Sasara that's not related to the brainwashing is, "lol your jokes suck ass"

(2:07) Here come the baddies of the day. I can feel it.

(2:24) Wait, is this Juushi? Huh, I don't think I've heard his speaking voice much before. I almost didn't recognize him except for his speech style.

(2:27) Me: Is this Juushi? Ichirou literally a second later: Quit crying, Aimono

(2:33) LMAO Juushi says Ichirou sounds like Kuukou... that's cute.

(2:38) Ichirou's laugh is making me having affectionate feelings. Disgusting. At any rate, it's good to hear him sound happy about Kuukou and not just sad anymore! Hell yeah! I missed the IchiKuu interactions in a major way. Hope we get more of them in present day canon.

(2:52) In my predictions for this track, I said something to the effect of this being the good boy team who go around doing community service. Well, apparently they're helping Ichirou work a takoyaki stand. So there's a bit more capitalism than I expected, but yeah, this is really a good boy team thing to do.

(3:22) I love how Juushi's voice actor makes those very emotional wails. He's really talented. Also, what a working in retail/restaurant/customer service mood.

(3:59) Juushi's VA going OFF (also another customer service mood)

(4:14) lol did Roshou just... burn the takoyaki because he likes it better that way? Okay, I do have to say, maybe this is what Ichirou gets for assuming Roshou knew how to cook takoyaki just because he's Osakan. Regional profiling much, Ichirou?

(4:40) I feel like I'm listening to a Dice mukbang. I wonder how these kinds of scenes are recorded. Do the voice actors really just go "HAMP OMP HARF SHLARF" into the mic and call it a day?

(5:03) Juushi: Black takoyaki? I bet we can make a cooler name for it somehow. .... Okay, but the conventional definition of cooler or Juushi's definition of cooler?

(5:08) Yup. Definitely Juushi's definition of cooler.

(5:11) Roshou: Bla- infe- wha- huh? Me too, Roshou.

(5:22) Thank you, Kimusuba, for your enunciation, because I had no clue what Juushi said until you repeated it. Roshou is probably thanking you too.

(6:01) It's hella cute to me that Roshou makes an effort to play along with Juushi, even though he clearly thinks this is some BS. He probably does the same for his students.

(6:18) Oh are you fucking kidding me - Doppo got mugged AGAIN? This poor man. Why do these things keep happening to him?

(6:23) Rei: Well... I mean, he just looks like a sucker. LMFAO

(6:44) Took me a minute to understand what Samatoki's saying. I don't think his voice agrees with me all that well. I do have to say, this is very funny (re: "You're a part of my crew now, and anyone who fucks w/ you fucks w/ me") not in the sense of Samatoki's protective streak - love that - but in the sense of Samatoki being so willing to throw hands. Can we set him on Doppo's employers while we're at it?

(6:50) Come to think of it, I think Doppo is genuinely the only person who ever calls Samatoki "Aohitsugi-san" despite all of Samatoki's demands for respect.

(7:19) Rei sending Doppo out to buy him a tea is such a dad thing. This feels like an episode of Old Enough, the show about sending toddlers to run their first errand.

(7:55) AGAIN?

(8:19) The way Rei goes, "I'm just an ordinary, sake-loving middle-aged man" is so fucking funny. He's not even trying to sound believable.

(9:01) Fuck 'im up, Doppo! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

(9:53) The way Samatoki offers to pay for everything is heart-warming. The older brother instinct. The issue is that certain people (Sasara and later Ramuda) have been known to take advantage of this, and judging by how excited Rei sounds, Rei's about to join them on the list.

(10:05) Oh fuck me, I wasn't ready for Riou's voice to come immediately after Ramuda's high-pitched humming. I also momentarily parsed his line of "A flea market..." as "The free market..." and was instantaneously transported into a world where Riou is an off-the-grid, libertarian crypto bro.

(10:15) RIOU-CCHI

(10:19) Oh, he's the grandma who goes with the grandkids to the flea market to sell her homemade wares... Here's a 1000 yen bill, Ramuda-kun and Hifumi-kun, now go buy yourselves candy and be good boys while Riou-baachan sells his home cooking. Has anyone ever given Riou knitting needles before? I think Riou would love knitting needles. This man is one rocking chair away from being 85 years old, and I love him for it.

(10:38) Horribly, horribly pleased that Ramuda and Hifumi are impressed and interested as opposed to my worst fears of "Eww, you're a gross, sweaty dude who lives in the woods!" My crops are watered. My will to live is restored.

(11:16) He just has a bag of perfectly-sized clothes with him (??)

(11:24) A suit made of manga panels................ okay, but is it good manga? Or did Ramuda give him the """""classy""""" version of an ahegao sweater? Hey, would it be fucked up or what if it was the Hypmic manga on the suit? Hifumi comes back to Matenrou being like, "Damn, Jakurai! What'd you keep making that face at Ramuda for?" and Jakurai goes ???

(11:28) PINK CAMO

(11:30) Ramuda: That's what fashion's all about! IS IT?!!! Man, I don't know SHIT about fashion.

(11:41) Riou ended up saying the same thing I just did (albeit more politely) so this is a sign that I, too, could be tricked into wearing something garish if Ramuda presented it to me. Also, what was that changing sound? Did they just have a magical girl transformation? Sailor Riou! In the name of survival, I'll punish you!

(12:00) I love that Riou doesn't like it (well, he's complaining about it, rather), but he still wears it anyway. He's known Ramuda for two minutes and is already like, "I must treat him with ultimate respect and care." This is why Riou is the best. Perfect. Everything I could have ever wanted is in this drama track.

(12:39) Riou.................................................... (That sales pitch would work on me, tbh.)

(13:52) Riou.................................... It's no surprise that Ramuda dislikes this, come to think of it, given that he hates smelly nattou. (I call this good taste. I detest nattou haha.)

(13:58) Hifumi sounds like a chain smoker here. His voice actor is killing it.

(14:25) Hitoya "I detest bullying" Amaguni bullying a middle schooler. Classic. I also enjoy Saburou being like, "Well, if SOME people here would actually TALK to one another, we wouldn't have to do this!" Welcome to Saburou Yamada's relationship counseling, where the 14-year-old is more emotionally mature than the 35-year-olds. Maybe he inherited this skill from Rei.

(15:01) LMFAO SABUROU STRAIGHT SAVAGE "You seem pretty stuffy, so I bet you never had any friends in middle school."

(15:18) It's a bit past when he said it, but I'm still thinking about Jakurai going "I had many friends." Considering how differently he viewed his relationship with Hitoya as compared to how Hitoya viewed it, I wonder if those other people he's talking about likewise saw him as a friend... Jakurai... :(

(15:56) Saburou: Aren't you an adult?! (implying that he should act like one) Good for this kid, he is DRAGGING them. I knew he'd somehow be the winner of this unlikely match-up.

(16:22) LMAOO. Okay, this is funny as hell, but theory time. Hitoya's older brother (Sora)'s name means "heaven", as does the Amaguni last name. Hitoya's name, meanwhile, means "prison" on its own but is also used in the word "hell" so much that for me, at least, the first thought upon seeing it is hell. I've always wondered if he might have resented that naming scheme, and I wonder if choosing the name Heaven here is intentional. Perhaps he's copying Sora? Or perhaps he's naming himself Heaven Heaven, the Hypmic version of Moon Moon.

(16:43) LMAO of course Saburou likes it. Know your audience, Hitoya.

(17:13) The way Saburou swears is so funny to me. He sounds like he's trying to act more adult than he is around these older guys he's probably trying to impress, at least a little.

(17:44) Yup, he's definitely trying to impress them. What do adults like? Alcohol! Whisky bonbons it is! Actually, out of curiosity - is bonbon a false cognate? I have a feeling it might be... Yeah, it looks like the Japanese definition might be a bit broader than the English definition. (I may also not know exactly what a bon bon might be. That's one of the things about translation - you realize how ignorant you actually are constantly when you figure out you can't precisely define or explain certain everyday objects maybe out of your sphere of expertise.)

(17:50) Too late, Hitoya.

(18:11) LMAO the way it cut out so quickly

(18:28) Sasara: And today's interesting guest - Yeah, Gentarou's interesting all right.

(18:41) This Jirou impression is really good. I didn't realize it was Gentarou's VA for a moment.

(19:02) Wait, it just hit me - so does Gentarou dead-ass act like this in public? Like when he goes to talk about his books to the press, is he his usual unhinged self, or does he at least pretend to have a sense of decorum? His editors must be scared to let him go anywhere. Working as his PR agent could earn you millions.

(19:54) I just realized what Sasara reminds me of. A Youtuber. He acts like a Youtuber. He's literally trying to film a reaction video. Teens (and Best-Selling Authors) React to Croquette Sandwiches!

(20:04) While the boys continue their "HAMP AMP MURMP" fest, I'll take the time to mention something I forgot earlier. I wish we'd gotten Guy Fieri to eat Roshou's takoyaki. "But Guy Fieri isn't in Hypmic" Well, not with that kind of attitude.

(21:02) Oh, he's his own PR agent. Everything makes sense now. He probably runs his Twitter like Kojima (ft. Dice as Mads Mikkelsen).

(21:18) Rip Sasara's Yotube vid

(22:19) Juuto: Is this ramen? It's pure black. Wait, did Roshou make it?

(22:24) hey does anyone here know Japanese. because I guess you could say now Kuukou's a 食うkou. *booed offstage*

(22:28) The way Dice eats is............. effervescent.............

(23:02) Dice sounds so offended. "You don't mess with food, man!"

(23:44) It's a good thing Juuto's a competitive bitch, or else this would never have happened.

(23:49) YES, SHAKKU IS HERE!! Ft. 5 second long "KUUUKOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"

(24:07) KUUKOU LOCKED HIM IN THE SHED??!!

(24:18) God, I aspire to be like Kuukou. If only we could all do this to our parents.

(24:37) Somehow, I don't think telling Dice and Juuto that Shakku is more of a fierce beast than a human being is going to help convince them to go toe-to-toe with him.

(24:48) Honestly, I understand how Kuukou turned out this way when considering Shakku.

(25:09) I have to say, I'm not super fond of the Kuukou/Dice/Juuto line-up if only because Kuukou's kind of overpowering the other two. It's not that I think Kuukou should be less extra. I love every part of the Kuukouness here. It's more that I wish we'd gotten more of Dice and Juuto's particular nonsenses as opposed to having them be the sensible-seeming tsukkomis. FP is def. a lot more balanced, because one character is always playing straight man to the other two bozos, but who the bozos are is constantly rotating. Likewise, MTC is more balanced because every single one of them is, at all times, thinking, "Let me, the mature and reasonable adult, humor these children I'm with." But here there's not enough trade-off. I guess BAT works well because Juushi and Hitoya are so bombastic on their own that they basically shove Kuukou out of the way for screen-time, but here he's kind of hogging it. And that's a bit of a shame.

(25:40) Love how excited Juushi is for taking a selfie.

(25:52) LMAO I wonder what social media Juushi has. He seems like a Pinterest mood boards kind of dude. I bet the word aesthetic is a part of his voca- well, I guess it is now, because I distinctly remember writing him with that word, for whatever that's worth.

(26:12) Ichirou: Are you ready to fight your own teammates? Roshou, remembering the time Sasara ate his pudding: Of COURSE.

(26:36) For a very weird moment, I thought Doppo was the one smoking (I think it's Samatoki and Rei) and so I thought the other two had indoctrinated him. Doppo comes back to Matenrou reeking of nicotine, and Hifumi won't let him into the house. Jakurai immediately tries to force him to join a quitting smoking program at his clinic.

(27:15) I love how Rei and Samatoki say p. much the same thing as Jakurai does before every battle, but their deliveries could not be more different.

(27:17) Doppo: I'll despair with CONFIDENCE. <- felt that

(27:36) *whacking Ramuda with a rolled up newspaper* No talking with your mouth full.

(28:12) I appreciate how seriously Riou takes this. That's one of the biggest things I like about Riou. For all of his pride in being a soldier, he understands the weight of conflict and doesn't seek it out lightly.

(28:42) *head in hands* RiOUUUUUUU IS THE BEST. He never once belittles anyone for their interests and always, always, ALWAYS considers things with weight if anyone else cares about them. He’s! Such! A! Good! Person! FUCK!

(29:00) LMAO Saburou sounds so young...

(29:37) There goes straight savage Saburou again. God bless this kid.

(30:09) This is Hitoya speak for, “God, I’d love to have an excuse to kick Kuukou’s ass.”

(30:37) The way his suit keeps flapping around him as he exercises is really something else.

(30:52) I wonder if Sasara used to do this back when he worked with Roshou too. Group exercises, maybe? Except Roshou was kind of jacked back then (or he looked like it, at any rate), so maybe the exercises were simply Roshou benchpressing Sasara.

(31:00) Gentarou must be bored. He’s finding a way to entertain himself.

(31:23) I think Gentarou’s spent so long around Fling Posse that he’s forgotten how to behave in polite society, or rather that most people won’t humor him by falling for his tricks. (Do I think Dice truly believes Gentarou most of the time? Not really. Does it amuse Gentarou? Yeah, so that’s why Dice does it. He does the same thing for Ramuda, and Ramuda likewise plays up falling for Gentarou’s tricks, so I think it’s safe to assume that Dice isn’t as much of a dweeb around Gen as he pretends to be.) Dice and Ramuda aren’t noticing this as much on their end because Dice isn’t really in a good environment for letting out some of his particular goofiness, and Ramuda accidentally ended up with another two enablers. Hahaha. Gentarou might be homesick for them.

(31:40) Ah.... only Dice could eat with such.... passion.......

(31:45) I have to say, it’s a lot easier to understand Dice with food in his mouth than Ramuda. Kudos to Nozuyama. (?)

I’m actually going to stop here (at the part where the alarm goes off) because I’ve been doing this for several hours, and I want to sleep, but I hope that this has been entertaining for anyone brave enough to read the whole thing. 

Final takeaway: Hell yeah, Riou time.

#not a translation #asks #hypmic asks

[zackcollins]

#idk man #this live slug reaction thing is fucking hilarious #and i thought this scene was a good one to do it for #and the one it made the most sense for #let me know what you think #because feedback is always welcomed #this is just a shitpost fyi #so dont take it too seriously LOL #anyways #benjamin franklin pierce #hawkeye pierce #margaret houlihan #frank burns #major frank burns #lieutenant dish #mash #m*a*s*h #tv: mash #mash meme #m*a*s*h meme #meme #robin makes memes #robin posts memes #not sports #robin talks #robin talks about mash #shitpost #major margaret houlihan

[cryptic-science]

heres why i believe lucius IS NOT dead.

hes incredibly smart. after being pushed of the boat, he probably pretended to drown by splashing about and gurgling water to fool blackbeard into thinking he was dead. then, lucius found some way to climb back onto the boat or swim away. maybe there was a lifeboat or a ladder. maybe it was the chair thing !!

his relationship with black pete. i dont think i could handle the angst that comes with lucius dying and pete finding out. their entire conversation when pete gave lucius the whittled finger ?? the fact that petes biggest fear is loosing lucius ?? they are literally so incredibly in love. i cannot handle that being ruined.

hes such an important and vital character. hes been a part of so many incredible moments in the show. hes our live reaction slug. hes like, the only person in the crew that can read/write (other than stede probably).

hes arguably one of the most badass characters in the show. the way he stood up to izzy ? when he called blackbeard a dick ? the way he handles himself and his relationships with the people around him ? hes so fucking badass.

hes fucking hilarious. so many incredible jokes in the show involve him in some way.

i could go on for literally fucking ever about how incredible of a character lucius is, and until i see his dead body or they throw some kinda funeral for him, i refuse to believe that he is dead. i am not letting one of the greatest characters in this show die because blackbeard is going through his emo phase.

anyway i could go on for literally hours, this queer pirate rpf has my stupid silly little brain hooked and i am So Sad from the finale.

#clowns around evilly #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd #lucius ofmd #this probably isnt written very well but i am very tired #also i might add more to this

[ouranor]

I was sick of the live slug reaction from the first day. It‘s the first tumblr thing I don‘t find hilarious and please can y‘all just fucking stop using it as a personality replacement thank you

#live slug meme #live slug reaction

[phoebehalliwell]

Ok so like I know it won’t happen but how would Sheridan and Warren feel about meeting their younger twin cousins Tam & Kat? Because then they wouldn’t be the only twin in the family plus the chaos of having mutiole sets of twins in one place would be amazingly hilarious! Like everyone is like Tam/Kat/Sheridan/Warren NOOO and they’re like >:3c ✨

[who tf are these kids so glad you asked warren & sheridan and tam & kat]

i feel like that would be a really wild ride bc i feel like as sets of twitches one would think they are very similar but they are indeed actually like. very different. i mean a there’s this age delta of like 7 years so that’s one thing so you’d have two grown as dudes and two teenagers but then there’s also differences like. tam and kat each have their own unique set of powers while warren and sheridan have identical powers. tam and kat were raised within magic by a charmed one in a happy could with a younger brother and a boatload of cousins they’re insanely close to warren and sheridan were raised by jack. tam and kat know how to preserve sea slugs warren and sheridan don’t even know why you would need to know this. and, of course, the major difference between the two is tamora and kat have a psychic link and warren and sheridan definitely do not nor do they want one. like for starters if they had the ability to be in each others head the odds of them just using that skill to annoy the other is like through the roof but also it’s like. tamora and kat’s subconsciousness are linked like their dreams border each other and like overlap and i think warren and sheridan would genuinely rather be lobotomized than let the other take a stroll around their dreams. but i mean like beyond that just like their dynamics with the other are insanely different like kat literally ran off to italy and tamora stayed behind in sf and they’re just like. fine with that. whereas warren and sheridan have never ever actually like. lived apart. and in the back of their minds they know at some point that’s gonna happen but like hey man that’s my twin brother i know him i know he’s a fucking idiot and i don’t trust him not to get himself killed. like both tam and kat have done solo vanquishes where they didn’t even like mention anything to their twin bc like. they were busy doing this vanquish. warren and sheridan are a lot more attached at the hip when it comes to magic i mean they also have a lot less experience but like if kat every mentioned casually that she’s currently living on the other side of the globe from her twin w&s would short circuit (and if that didn’t do the trick tam and kat being like yeah i mean it’s never like we’re cut off from each other bc u know like the psychic link would Definitely send warren and sheridan over the edge).

that being said similarities i mean for starters both are twin sets where they’re identical but one twin has short hair and the other long so if they ever met i feel like someone has to comment on that bc like. hey does the author have some weird need to visually distinguish identical twins in an easy-to-read way? yes. also it’s a spilt where one twin’s gay and the other’s straight (kat being a lesbian, warren being bisexual, and tamora and sheridan both being like the lone heterosexuals out of everyone they know) but like. beyond that i think both twins definitely have this stubbornness and like. a tendency not to involve parental figures in their work bc they want to prove that they can do it on their own. there’s also like. a sense of impulsivity to them all in varying degrees ranking sheridan kat warren tam but like. in a wstk team up a battle plan probably will not be drawn they’ll say the vibes of the situation and then like. go time.

if i were to spin a yarn for a tamora kat warren sheridan team up i would set it in warren and sheridan’s world and simply for convenience i’m keeping them both at the ages they are in their respective stories so 18 and 22 and i’m not entirely sure of the circumstances which would land tamora and kat anywhere but the sets would id each other when someone freezes somewhere and they hey who’s that moving over there there’d be introductions where tamora and kat are like hi we’re tamora and kat mitchell and they’re like a lil confused when that gets no reaction bc quite frankly like they are the daughters of a charmed one and where they’re from the majority of witches & other magical beings know their name bc like. they do. and this only gets weirder where warren and sheridan are like we’re warren and sheridan halliwell and kat’s like no ur not. and they’re like excuse me? and she’s like ur last name. and they’re like yeah?? halliwell???? and tamora and kat are like yeah??? bc again where they’re from this name carries insane weight to pose as a halliwell w/o having the last name would be fucking insane but where warren and sheridan are from the charmed ones died in a basement in 2005 halliwell name going with it and also they really don’t know that much about their mom’s side of the family anyways so their like i don’t get what you’re not getting here our last name legally is like halliwell it’s from our mom’s side and tamora and kat are like Who is your mom????? and they’re like her name was prue and tam and kat are like !!!!!!!! what the fuck. what the fuck? and warren and sheridan are like okay. what. and tamora and kat are like hi thrilled to meet u we’re ur cousins. and warren and sheridan are like cool and immediately try to freeze them to talk amongst themselves but then realizes that Doesn’t Work bc they’re Also Witches and they’re like well fuck. new plan we take them back to the house and we hold swizzlesticks in their face (the house cat, a familiar) and go off the cat’s reaction. so blah blah blah tamora and kat are like trying to explain no no no see your mom was a part of the charmed ones right and warren and sheridan are like okay i think that was mentioned in passing idk what that means tho and kat and tam are like fr? whatever we don’t have time the point is in our world prue died and they’re like oh no don’t worry she died in our world too and tam and kat are like oh. my condolences the point is the charmed ones were reconstituted when piper and phoebe (your aunts) found our mom, who was their half sister, an illegitimate child patty had with her whitelighter. and warren and sheridan are like okay cool. the fuck is a whitelighter? and tam and kat are like !!!! bc how tf can you be a halliwell and be so far removed from magic next stop obvi would be the manor which was been magically secured to the nines debatable whether or not they break in warren and sheridan might have like a couple memories i mean less like memories and more like vibes from when they were raised in the manor for 90 seconds and um. they’re definitely getting a premonition of prue’s death, and then also the reconstitution of the po3 with paige for good measure confirming tk’s story. then the mission is obviously find whatever it was that sent tam and kat here and get them back and uhh breaking into the manor was of no use bc when piper phoebe and paige completely remade their identities and faked their death like they took the book with them. they’re not just gonna leave it in the house lmao. and so tam and kat are like okay magic school? and warren and sheridan are like What Down and the girls open a door into magic school to find it totally decimated and almost entirely deteriorated after the death of the charmed ones evil tried to claim it which ate away at the core of magic school until it was uninhabitable. so that’s a no go. okay warren and sheridan what do you do. and they’re like um okay so there’s the school library. and there’s google. and we have some friends who are witches. and tam and kat are like you have friends who are witches but still have never heard of like. the charmed ones. and warren and sheridan are like hey man they’re not Witches Witches they’re like. witch practitioner. but they’re good and they like. know plants and stuff. and of course worse comes to worse fun fact most demons aren’t expecting you to punch them so like. that also works. and tamora and kat are like okay cool what i’m hearing is we’re gonna be trapped in this world forever. but i think it would be a really nice blend of warren and sheridan learning the craft (these lads don’t even know how to scry 💀) and tamora and kat really taking a step back bc they were raised in a world immersed in magic and really have never like. seen the craft done in this way. and i think like they can definitely learn some lessons here. also debatable whether or not kat brings her sword but if she does warren and sheridan would Totally lose their shit. and would probably buy swords 4 themselves.

#charmed #next gen #tamora mitchell #kat mitchell #warren halliwell #sheridan halliwell #charmed next generation #i also think it's funny bc like. despite being in the same family and both being identical twins #i think the twin gene comes from their respective fathers sides #i mean obvi it comes from jack's side of the family #and then as henry doesn't know his family but we have the warren line documented quite well #i think it's safe to say tamora and kat as identical twins is a henry thing #is that how it works? #idk i really don't know that much about literally any of the life sciences #but i know like twins tend to be like. hereditary. #💌

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs  watching “The Terminator” for the first time

I cannot believe no one ever told me the first ten minutes of The Terminator are filled with naked men roaming 1980s Los Angeles. In addition to full-front Arnold Schwarzenegger nudity, there's a chase scene in which Kyle Reese's actor (no slouch himself in the muscles department) runs through a clothing store, dressing himself as he goes. The narrative economy of this movie, I tell you.

Whoever decided that time travel does not involve clothing was clearly having a lot of fun. 

Also, I have no idea why the punks decided to make fun of a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger except they were probably drunk/stoned/high and fond of making poor life choices. Either that or they really were Too Stupid To Live.

Is the close up on Kyle Reese's stolen Nikes supposed to be product placement? I think it's product placement. This is the '80s after all.

OMG, a phone booth. This film was not supposed to be a period piece (or was it??), but it's unintentionally hilarious as such. Kyle Reese doesn't seem to know how to reach Sarah Connor otherwise... so the phone book gets to stand in for the Internet.

(god, if you're from his version of 2029, the fact that machines DON'T control everything seems both a) quaint and b) infinitely desirable by comparison.)

What's interesting is both the film's present and the film's future are dystopic hellholes. Yes, it's the middle of the night in Los Angeles, but the way it's filmed, with all the urban debris and trash and homeless wandering the streets very much parallels the future. The garbage truck in the present and the human-killing laser machine in the future are foils to each other.

EVERYONE'S HAIR, OH MY GOD.

It's kinda sad that food service is still visual shorthand for "sucky job" even in the present day, but you can tell Sarah Connor has spunk because she rides a moped and sasses her chain's mascot. Their outfits are terrible. And that kid putting ice cream on her--to the amusement of the assholes she's serving--what a nightmare.

Also, Sarah's friend is awesome and won my heart with one line: "In a hundred years, who's gonna care?" This takes on vast levels of irony given that Sarah Connor is the Chosen One--er, sorry, Chosen One's Mom. I really hope this friend doesn't die.

Child's toy truck getting run over by the Terminator's stolen car. NOT SUBTLE, Y'ALL.

Sarah's friend's first reaction to the news of another Sarah Connor being murdered is to track Sarah into the break room to watch. Efficient way of letting Sarah know something's up and another good character moment.

The contrast between the Terminator effortlessly starting the car and Kyle Reese's labored hotwiring is nicely done. The PTSD flashback as he watches the bulldozer thing is also very efficient way of conveying information without the need for infodumping dialogue. Of course he has a female friend who dies for added trauma. Sigh.

Oh, so she and the friend--whose name is Ginger--are roommates? Well, that explains a lot. Oh, nope, I’m wrong, different person.

SARAH CONNOR HAS A PET IGUANA, I'M CHARMED. She looks so sad holding her pet iguana while her date's voice mail message plays - no going out after she got all dressed up. But at least she has the Iguana of Consolation!

(his name is Pugsley omg omg omg asghkkfl)

Why the hell does Ginger's bf kiss Sarah on the cheek as she leaves? Are they that close to each other or is this a weird quasi-sexual harassment thing (like how he was only kinda embarrassed when she picked up the phone by mistake while he was doing his phone sex thing thinking she was Ginger?)

CREEPY PARKING GARAGE IS CREEPY.

The police are all, "shit, this is awful," and trying to do something, but it isn't going to go well. Also, you can tell it's the '80s because the police lieutenant just casually lights up indoors like it's no big deal.

Like, literally the plot of this movie depends upon a) Sarah Connor's name and address in the phonebook, and b) no cell phones. The fact that these two are intimately connected IRL amuses me greatly.

God, as soon as Ginger and her bf revealed they were staying home, I knew they were toast. The fact that they're shown having sex just makes it all the more inevitable.

I like that the police decide to get a jump on the press AND maybe alert the other Sarah Connors they haven't been able to reach by announcing it over the TV. Sarah's at a restaurant eating pizza so she actually sees it!

The only reason Sarah Connor survives is because the Terminator went very literally through the list and Kyle Reese went straight to the right person. The difference between human intelligence and AI?

I cannot BELIEVE the club doesn't check ID, but maybe it's an illegal club anyway? Nice relevant background techno.

Of course the police's gambit backfires because Sarah can't reach them when she tries to call...

OH MY GOD PUGSLEY THE IGUANA IS SO PRECIOUS (but seriously does not stay in his cage, lol). Please don't let the iguana die...

The dangers of earphones and not being able to hear your surroundings being illustrated literally as soon as the devices were invented.

OF COURSE SARAH IS GOING TO LEAVE HER VOICE MAIL MESSAGE WARNING GINGER OF DANGER AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT. And she's going to tell him her location, too. This is... god, I don't have words for this.

Sarah left her driver's license in her apartment, what? Or is that an old ID? I can't tell. Welp, now he knows what she looks like, which he clearly didn't before.

This scene where the Terminator shoots up the club with an automatic REALLY hasn't aged well. I feel sick to my stomach just watching it. Of course Sarah is the second-to-last one out and has a human shield, because of course she dies. Sigh.

"Come with me if you want to live." I think that's the first words Kyle Reese has spoken in this movie! Not that the Terminator has said much, either...

Of course the police show up at exactly the wrong moment and draw exactly the wrong conclusions. Of course they end up dead, too. Sigh.

I would say Kyle's driving is atrocious, but there's no actual roads in 2029 LA, so this is much better conditions than he's used to.

Gosh, what would this movie do without alleyways?

Sarah's like "Can you stop it?" and Kyle looks away sheepishly, all WELL I WOULD IF I HAD MY LASER WEAPONS FROM THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF YOUR PUNY '80S GUNS.

Oh, he says he's going to ditch the car, but instead Kyle finally explains things to Sarah, and we're in yet another parking garage. Parking garages and alleys, that's this movie. Oh, and hotwiring cars.

Kyle's monologue about the defense network computers setting off nuclear war is a very '80s manifestation of a very '80s fear. Several '80s fears, now that I think about it. (Wasn't this also the plot of War Games?) Not that it's not topical today, but I think it's expressed in different formats now.

I hate that Sarah is only special because she's the Source of the Savior instead of the actual savior herself. I hate this so much.

Kyle and the Terminator playing "who can shoot better while also driving" in a parking garage that seems to go on literally FOREVER, how is this possible. This is WHY shotgun is a thing.

Oh, good, he's finally letting Sarah drive while he shoots.

Ohhhh, now she's in police custody, and the Lieutenant is comforting her. I hope he doesn't die, but I know better than to hope that anyone other than the Final Girl survives this movie.

The "flex your artificial hand with a hole in it" scene is a bloody counterpart to Luke testing out his new prosthesis in ESB.

It says something about humans that the only way the machines could hunt them was to make them human-coated (human on the outside).

You can tell by the look on Kyle Reese's face when he says "Nobody goes home," that he knows he's on a suicide mission.

Why the hell doesn't John Connor go himself? Why was Kyle chosen? Because he had to lead humanity in the aftermath of Skynet's defeat or because it would make the upcoming plot twist that much more awkward? Probably both, but I wonder if they ever discussed this. "Uh... hi, dad? Dad-to-be?" (Reminder that Douglas Adams is right when he says the worst part of time travel is the grammar.)

Oh, god, the "eye repair" scene is nightmarish. Excellent job foreshadowing it, filmmakers. But still gross. So this is why he gets sunglasses.

(Does he have heat vision? Why do none of the future machines seem to have infrared sight? Wouldn't that be super-useful if you're human-hunting?)

Kyle Reese's "I DIDN'T BUILD THE FUCKING THING!" line is such a relatable mood. We the audience already knew that Time Travel = Mandatory Nudity, but I think it's a nice touch that Skynet assumed the Terminator could just work with whatever was available instead of needing to bring weapons. He’s weapon enough. 

Also, this implies the Terminator is just human ENOUGH to pass through the field, which might have been a reason they started working with human-augmented machines in the first place. The reasoning seems to be--no, really--if you put enough living human tissue over a machine, it's "alive" enough for time travel. I don't understand how this works, exactly, but fine.

Oh, good, the cops are giving her body armor now. That can only help. Oh, no, it's a fake-out to explain how the Terminator survived being shot.

I don't understand how this movie is not a walking billboard for gun control, I really don't.

Kyle Reese being all "things are going to shit and I'm going to seize the moment". I think the policeman he slugged might actually survive if he was knocked unconscious and otherwise stayed out of trouble? Don't think the Terminator's going to bother when he's got his real prey to deal with...

And the lietunant who was nice to Sarah is dead. I knew that was going to happen. Great, now the other detective is, too. Sigh. NO ONE IN THIS MOVIE GETS TO LIVE EXCEPT SARAH... and maybe Pugsley the iguana? I don't think he's dead...

Oooh, oooh, another visual theme of this movie is broken glass and smashing windows to unlock things. DON'T FORGET THE BODY ARMOR ON YOUR WAY OUT. (If that's not Chekhov's body armor, I'm going to be very surprised.)  

God, it's so weird to contrast the different fates of the Terminator franchise and the Star Wars films, especially given their similarities.

Oooh, oooh! Huddle together for warmth under a bridge! Fall in love!

Skynet has no freakin' subtlety. You can tell they're not human because they automatically decide the best way to keep Sarah Connor from having kids is to kill her, not to have her doctor give her a fake diagnosis so they can perform a hysterectomy or some other scheme. Or even just giving her birth control.

OR HOW ABOUT EVEN CREATING A SPECIAL MODEL TERMINATOR SHE COULD DATE WHO WAS STERILE AND THEREFORE SHE'D NEVER GET PREGNANT. And then Kyle Reese would be the obnoxious dude trying to break them up for the good of humanity and constantly trying to prove to Sarah her hot boyfriend is actually a robot, and Sarah just thinks he's delusional/trying to get in her pants.

(Oh, my god, I want this fic now.)

Oh, she just discovered Kyle's hurt now, ordering him to take off his clothes, there's only one way this can possibly end.

Nice contrast between the Terminator calmly repairing his bloodied self and Sarah feeling nauseous and having Kyle talk to her while she fixes him.

Oh, god, the way Kyle Reese describes John Connor makes me wonder if Kyle had a crush on HIM or if he knew he was John's father from the get-go. FICS FICS FICS, WHERE ARE THE FICS.

Oh, okay, so Reese volunteered because he wanted to meet "the legend--Sarah Connor". Please tell me she's a legend because she's a badass, not JUST because her son is important. Please. Or at least allow me to keep my illusions, okay?

The way Reese looks at her is distinctly hero-worshipping, which is kinda funny given their roles to date. Also, Sarah is pre-badass at this point -- she will become one as a result of the events of this film.

Sarah also has a problem with time travel tenses, I sympathize.

"Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years. I can't help you with what you must soon face except to say the future is not set.... You must survive or else the future will never exist."

LOL, John telling his mom she better level up or everyone is doomed... so why isn't SHE the savior again??

And--open question--what happened to HER by 2029? Why is it John and not Sarah who's in charge?

Ok, so the HKs DO have infrared, but what keeps them and the Terminator from finding people on various occasions? (Yes, plot, I know.)

"Tell me a bedtime story about your dystopic past-that-is-my-future and give me all kinds of Nightmare Fuel..." (That could have gone better.)

Where do Future Humans get their Future Guns and Gear?? Do they steal them from machines? How does that even WORK? Wouldn't it be easier for the machines to just, I don't know, get creative and kill them some other way?

Keeping with the machine-man parallels, Reese has his own "code numbers" rather like a serial number that he uses to ID himself.

DOGGIES! THERE ARE STILL DOGS IN THE FUTURE, yay!

Yup, the humans in 2029 live in squalor just like the homeless people in the film's present - which might explain why Kyle Reese is remarkably at home, with way less culture shock than you'd expect.

Too bad he and Sarah are on the run and can't go to a fast food restaurant or something fun he's never had before.

The future kids are watching a fire burn in the shell of a TV, OH MY GOD.

Like, it's kinda good the future isn't set because if this what humanity's come to, it might be better to send someone back in time and hope it goes differently? Of course, things can always get worse. Not that they had a choice - I think discovering the machines' plan forced their hand.

Kyle Reese has a photo - is that Sarah Connor? Or is that the woman who got killed earlier in the film? I can't tell.

Dogs barking at the fake people just like the dog barked at the Terminator in the '80s. Nice. Interesting they don't try to shoot the dogs.

Ahh,the photo is burning, the symbolism.... especially when Terminator's flesh melting is going to be a Thing coming up. Cut to: Sarah's sleeping face. Foreshadowing much? (Also: WORST BEDTIME STORY EVER.)

Okay, the way he brushes her face is kinda creepy and hasn't aged well. I hope Sarah has dogs in subsequent movies? I would if I were her.

OH MY GOD, the Terminator has suggested prompts for conversations and chooses "Fuck you, asshole". DYING.

Oh, he's got her address book... and her mom's address. That's how he finds her. Otherwise, there's no way this movie will end in thirty minutes.

Kyle stopping to pet the dog while Sarah gets them a hotel room is such a beautiful background moment.

Sad that even the shittiest '80s motel room is nicer than anything Kyle has ever seen.

AHHH, SHE CALLS HER MOM, this is the smart and appropriate thing to do, but there's no way this can end well for her mom.

I thought the scene was going to cut to her mom on the phone with a gun at her back (before the Terminator kills her), but she's talking to the Terminator mimicking her mother's voice and I... don't know what just happened, but pretty sure it isn't good for Sarah Connor's mom's survival. (Why they didn't go back in time and try to kill HER before she had Sarah... seems like there are so many ways to do this.)

LOL, you think Reese is going to be into food and instead he's into manufacturing explosives in the kitchen. Nice. What follows is Baby's First Improvised Weaponry Lesson.

"He'll find us, won't he?" "Probably." WELL MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T GIVEN SOMEONE YOUR ADDRESS AFTER HE TOLD YOU NOT TO, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN "LATER" RATHER THAN "SOONER", ughhhhhh.

Kyle's reaction when Sarah asks him about his previous lovers is HILARIOUS if you assume he's actually in love with John Connor. But this does answer the question of who the woman in the photo was: it was Sarah, he's been in love with Sarah the whole time (and now kinda embarassed/thrilled at the prospect of sleeping with his hero?)

I can't tell if Sarah genuinely thinks he's hot or if she just feels sorry that he's a virgin. I guess it doesn't really matter since they've been through hell together and sex is a valid way of coping. Also, while Kyle isn't  as muscular as the Terminator, he's no slouch in the shirtless department--and he's not wearing a shirt in this scene.

Kyle's admission that he "disconnects" to avoid feeling pain just heightens the machine-man continuum even further...

Oh, my god, John totally knows that Kyle's going to be his dad, and that's why he gives them the picture of Sarah. SO AWKWARD TO BE SET UP BY YOUR SON.

This is the '80s so they can't just have casual sex, he has to be in love with her, and have ALWAYS been in love with her, because this is ROMANCE, and she's the heroine (otherwise it would be morally wrong??). I get it, although this trope hasn't aged well and seems vaguely stalker-ish, even though relatively little stalking was involved.

So he loves her, but Sarah never says she loves him... but she's stressed out and exhausted and she feels sorry for him and he's hot, wtf not?

Hey, he lets her top! That was unexpected and also kinda sweet.

What was the point of Sarah telling her mother if her mother never called back and if they were only going to be there for a day? Shouldn't she be suspicious that her mom never called back? IDIOT BALL.

Kyle hears the dog barking and knows what's up right away. You can see the "oh shit" look on his face.

YET ANOTHER CAR CHASE... except now they're in a truck and the Terminator's on a motorcycle. Oh, goody. And he makes her drive once she pulls out the explosives. Oh, good, an underground tunnel!

I don't understand why the Terminator doesn't shoot out the wheels on the truck. He keeps aiming for Sarah, and I know that's his mission, but... seems like it might be easier to disable the truck first? IDK.

Of course leaning out the window makes it easier for the Terminator to shoot Kyle... now that he's delivered his Sperm Packet from the Future, his role is done and he's toast.

That's also the first moment that Sarah really takes agency by swerving and crashing the car. I think up until this point, she's just kinda gone along with everything...? NOT A COINCIDENCE.

Oh, great, now he has a tractor-trailer. Full of gas. And you have explosions. This will end well.

Wow, the Terminator didn't kill the passenger in the truck after all. Why waste energy, I guess?

I don't understand why he goes for the tractor-trailer instead of.. I don't know, just walking over and strangling Sarah? He's a lot stronger than she is and she's trapped in a wreck. I don't understand it. That seems WAY like overkill. And also gives her time to get her bearings and escape with Kyle.

Kyle jumping into the dumpster is oddly appropriate, given how often dumpsters and trash appear in this movie.

Sarah breathes a sigh of relief WAYYY too soon after the truck goes up in flames.

WHYYYY is she going so close to the flames, that's so dumb, it must be so hot and toxic fumes, whyyyyy? (So they can be RIGHT THERE when the Terminator wakes up, that's why!)

This time Sarah's the one to break a window and unlock a door. Agency! Character development! Whatever you want to call it.

Can you really turn an automated factory on that easily? Shouldn't there be... passwords, or something? But I like that Kyle does it "so he can't track us" - so the EMFs interfere with the Terminator's abilities??

And of course, there's the irony that the smart machine from the future is destroyed by by the dumb machines of the past.  Humanity's enemy is also its savior. (Can you imagine what would havehappened if the Terminator had been able to talk to them and convince them to kill the humans / figure out where they were?)

Hey, the Terminator busts down the door in its Final Form and does the EXACT SAME DOOR OPENING TRICK IT'S ALWAYS DONE.

Sarah pulls a chunk of shrapnel OUT OF HER OWN LEG. She gets to scream while she does it because she's female, but it's the foil to the other "repair/healing" we've seen - and a sign of her own transition/evolution.

Kyle's face wound mirrors that of the Terminator, AHHH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

And of course the Terminator still isn't dead even after it's lost half its body and is just this metallic torso dragging itself across the ground with its arms. Because we're still not done yet. Both Sarah and the Terminator have leg wounds, so they're both crawling, I like it. EVEN MORE PARALLELS.

Oh, god, it's on a conveyor belt now. NIGHTMARE FUEL. And then some sort of ventilation shaft? Oh, god.

And she's able to press the button as it's strangling her and issue a snappy one-liner LIKE THE ACTION HERO SHE IS! And watch its red eye stare balefully at her the entire time.

Oh, and THEN the police show up and she's put on a stretcher and bundled away. Could be worse, Kyle's on a stretcher zipped up into a body bag.

CUT TO: Sarah driving a truck in the desert. A pregnant Sarah is narrating into a microphone a message/memoir for her unborn son. There's a German shepherd in the backseat. Sarah's wearing the same headband we've seen before in Kyle's photo of her. She's got a pistol in her lap that she handles coolly and calmly.

She's in Mexico, at a gas station full of chickens. She tells John she's worried about paradox, but he has to send Kyle. So John DOES know, and gave Kyle the photograph so he'd be primed to fall in love with Sarah, thus guaranteeing his existence. The German shepherd is a Very Good Dog.

Sarah's very blunt about the fact that she and Kyle only had a few hours together, but says "we loved a lifetime's worth" and I'm not sure that checks out, but okay. Maybe on Kyle's end? I feel like Sarah barely had time for any of this, and maybe some of it is retroactive, but... anyway, maybe it's a story she tells herself so she can live with it, especially since she may not be interested, open to, or willing to risk any more relationships in the future, given that she's a perpetual target.

While she's talking about Kyle, her face twists up and a kid snaps a photo with his Kodak camera, and claims if she doesn't pay for it, his father will beat him. She knows it's a scam but takes it anyway, talking him down to four dollars instead of five.

The kid takes the money and runs away, crying about a storm coming. Sarah sighs. "I know," she says, and puts on dark sunglasses as tumbleweeds roll and she drives away, waiting for the apocalypse, towards some mountains that look awfully early-CGIish.

Credits roll. Acknowledgment to the works of Harlan Ellison - that's cool.

Wow, okay. Well that was a ride.

Reading the Wiki: I like how James Cameron decided to cast Michael Biehn as Kyle Reese because he was famous at the time, even though he's nowhere near a household name compared to the film's other stars. O.J. Simpson was floated as a possible Terminator, irony. Harlan Ellison credit was added after he threatened to sue for infringment--oh.

Also, (male) critics talk about how the Terminator represents masculinity, and the ideal man is both machine and human? I guess I don't really see the Terminator as ideal masculinity, but that's a rant for another day...

Also: wtf happened to the iguana??

#Movie Reviews #fic ideas #terminator

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

we’ve had foster pupper harvey for like, a week, and so far:

-i have endured more dog spit than three humans should ever deal with, i am lubricated enough to become a giant slug at all times

-covered in the bruises and scratches one associates with very stressed, hostile cats seeing the giant barking baby for the first time he couldn’t get to them, there’s an aviary door, but apparently that doesn’t mean they can’t lose their shit and climb you like a tree... three separate times

-has somehow wiggled his giant fucking body through the dog fence, in what family has referred to as ‘the closest thing you’ll ever see to birth, head first, one shoulder, the other and he slides on out’, which is a phrase i never wanted to hear... 

-just fucking took off like a racecar after the nearest wallabies once outside the fence, requiring everyone to fucking run through ass-deep grass squeaking toys in order to find him, he thought it was HILARIOUS... sibling caught him eventually

-once caught, offered pure Passive Resistance by flopping to the ground and requiring himself to be half-carried, half-dragged back up the hill to home, then had a massive nap after his cuts and scratches were dealt with

-has adopted a not-so-helpful stalking walk when he sights a cat, thinks this will make him less spooky so he can talk to them... does not work; still not allowed near them

-can no longer go out into the yard without someone with him, has to go out on a lunge lead, specially bought in a huge hurry from local horse store... 

-refuses to do certain bathroom activities whilst on the lunge lead, waits until no one is looking, has gone through an obscene amount of puppy pads in the last few days... literally, 110 pack, 5 left...

had to buy more. like, they’re $25 for a big pack (puppy pads are just blueys, like in hospitals, let’s be real) so some of us are very poor

-cannot be allowed to be alone in the house... will eat literally anything.  fucking ANYTHING, has chewed no less than three shaving razors to shreds, somehow avoiding causing any damage to his mouth??? also took out several dolls, a pumice stone, a plate, and several mad magazines... he’s a whirlwind

-has a cute little dance he doesw when excited, even when sitting his two front legs seem to tap out this pattern that always makes me think if the opening notes to Africa by toto

-still jumps up all the time, working on ‘down’, he gets it mostly. sometimes thwarts the rule by jumping up on the wall or nearby furniture, and falling back, into your arms. like some romance novel damsel in distress... who licks your face. lmao.

-have had to order a bunch of specialised items to work with him... so what we know about him after observing his behaviours over the last week is: -definitely ~8months, just very large -was a christmas puppy, who was originally very loved and always playing! -got too big, had no training or manners or boundaries -was clearly left outside, chained in a backyard for a significant length of time -his reactions when dealing with other animals, with people and how he responds on a lead have informed this analysis. whoever threw this boy away failed him, but at least he won’t spend his life tied up in a backyard desperate for love.

+he’ll need a ‘halti’ or however you say it. Special harness that allows you to control a large, powerful dog without having your arm wrenched from its socket... +getting a clicker, to reinforce training (has ‘sit’ and ‘down’ and ‘come’; about half the time. his emergency carers taught him ‘sit’ in a week, and we’re following on with more intense work) +special teeth-cleaning treat ball... for one, he’s a smart boy who would love a treat ball, but also it’ll be a good challenge + good for his mouth. +slow-feeder bowl. Harvey eats like the offspring of a vacuum cleaner and a leafblower, desperate and exploding it everywhere. He is under the impression it will disappear if he doesn’t get it immediately... (Harvey requires puppy food, but given how small the puppy food kibbles are, and how he eats at current, we have to give him regular optimum, just because the kibbles are larger... also they absorb water a little easier, which is how we slow his feeding down at current)

+a screaming chicken toy, he loves anything that squeaks, and will come immediately 

+stronger dog seatbelt

we already had a bed, bowl, blanket, handful of toys, harness, collar, etc. waiting for him, but it tends to amass to more once we meet the new doggos, and learn their specific needs.

-he is desexed, so that’s one less thing to worry about. 

-he is not currently adoptable, and likw Willow before him, will be with us for some time, just to learn how to calm down and accept affection without being so anxious. he’s a lovely boy, who is also a little shit, but we love him.

-he’s going to get bigger. Harvey has no fucking clue how big he is, or that suddenly licking someone up the leg/on the butt is not ‘cute’ and rather ‘sweet motherfucking christ what was that?!’  but he’s only 8 months and we think he’ll grow larger soon enough. he was a surprise when we got him/we were told ‘puppy’ and got a 26kg animal who could put his front paws on your shoulders and lick you on the forehead

-likes to chew on electrical cords, has given me a heart attack more than once

-can crawl through or over any barrier, #demon

-likes to fall asleep with his head on your feet/resting against your ankle, or with a paw touching you. very affectionate.

-can be supremely frustrating, but then, so are kids

-has to be reassured when put in bed/crate for night, or in the bathroom (bc it’s easier than trying to move another dog outside with him free)

-ww’ll have to create a run and reinforce the fences before he can run free

-has been known to pull clothes off the line, for fun. doesn’t ruin them, just... takes them off. has no concept of ‘games’. will chase a thrown ball, but does not think to retrieve it. willow had the same issue, she learned to play when socialised with the other dogs living in the household, but he’s not ready for that yet. soon.

-loves all the other dogs 100% does not understand jumping on them (esp. blind foster doggo Debbie) does not gain their love (he is pure puppy, no training, no manners, nothing but continuous frantic need for approval... working on calming him down, he has done really well since arriving, able to sit and have little naps, and one-on-one training/affection)

-he will be the perfect addition to a family soon enough, he’s soft and loving, very energetic, playful and fun. just needs to stabilise, grow reassured that he doesn’t need to be so desperate for affection and anxious, and learn to sit/stay/play. etc.

it’s been a big week and money should grow on trees, gdi

[sssssssim]

So, basically. I have re-read Harry Potter (third time, after seeing the movies again, after seeing Fantastic Beasts) and took a picture of all the things that... caught my eye. Be it funny, surprising, or things that I forgot since the last re-read. 

       Let’s talk about them.

This... is going to be a very long post. It’s going to be massive. It has over 200 pictures. Enjoy!

Draco Malfoy is 11 years old and has a hella sweet tooth, that his mom encourages. 

LIKE DUDE. They really didn’t like Hermione at the begining. 

That’s... pretty ruthless, Hermione. Chill. 

I find it absolutely hilarious that Harry keeps saying Draco is his archenemy. Soooo dramatic.

This is literally what happened in Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson, Nico kept babbling on on about Percy to his father. Turned out Nico had a crush on Percy. ... Oops.

This seems so... harsh. For 11 years old. Like good god. I know everyone else’s reaction was much more interesting, the Weasleys willing to fight for Hermione, Ron -while throwing up slugs- explaining why it’s such a bad word, but I’m thinking more about how Malfoy didn’t hesitate in using it, even if he knew fully well what it meant. He had such a shitty upbringing. 

Typical Harry, to be honest.

That awkward moment when Ron is the one actually thinking things through.

Don’t get me wrong here, this is the end of the first book. He’s an 11 year old child facing off two wizard who are a lot older, trained, more powerful than him. It’s perfectly normal for him to be muttering about anyone helping him. It’s also pretty good for him to get used to saying those words so early on :))

I need this quote on a shirt.

WELL FUCK THIS FORESHADOWING

Wendelin the Weird is so very weird, but I don’t wanna kinkshame her.

That sounds like a very ... magical... porn. 

BROKEN BALLS

I really want a mirror like that. That tells me I have a thread sticking out of my sweater before I leave the house, that tells me that I forgot to comb my hair and so on. I need it. Also, it would be such a good thing for people with anxiety to have, wouldn’t it? They’d have someone/thing to talk to, prepare themselves for a social outing. 

McGonagall is something else. Bless her.

Look at Draco’s two girlfriends worrying about him.

I bet Malfoy would love Harry to... “skin his shrivelfig” *wiggles eyebrows*

This is so explaining of Hermione and Harry. She’s excited and knows the answer, while Harry is low-key hating at her and his approach on knowledge is meeeh.

Ron swears. I feel like this is an important detail. I like this detail.

I think this is Fudge speaking. Or someone similar. But, I mean... If you ever doubted that Sirius is so very fucking strong...

I am a sucker for Harry Potter AUs and I have an itch to write the Teen Wolf one with Derek as a first year :))

Snape, my man... really. Well what if his right pinky is allowed??!!!

This is it. This is everything. Not only did Hermione smack that bitch up, but everyone else’s reaction is glorious. Bless this.

You were thinking about him, eh?

(Have I mentioned that I’m reading these books with Dramione glasses now? Heh. Sorry, but I’m not sorry.)

NOW LOOK. I would kill for a Netflix series about the Marauders in highschool. I feel like their characters could be so freacking awesome! And this, this line, ‘there were near misses, many of them’. I want 5 seasons of them. Please.

The relationships Hermione makes with the grown men around her are beautiful to see. We see a bit of her and Mr. Weasley through the books. And here, Sirius and Lupin, they have hearts in their eyes for Hermione. I don’t know if it was because she reminded them of Harry’s mom, or because Hermione is just so smart and kind and strong. But either way, it’s amazing.

As I was saying. Heart eyes. 

Harry’s approach to time-travel seems pretty reasonable.

Harry, what the hell did you smoke?!

I actually do not know if normal straight boys think of other boys as ‘extremely handsome’. I mean, I don’t think they do...

Again. The grown men vs. Hermione. Bless her. I also like how Harry thinks of him as ‘Mr. Malfoy’, even is his head. It should be a sign of respect, but I think it’s more of how Malfoy is imposing and mildly terryfing.

So. One, again, Ron swearing and Harry being too proper to reproduce it. Secondly, they’re at the World Cup and the Death Eaters are there. And by this point, neither of the three even thought that Hermione was in danger because of her muggle parents. But Draco pointed it out. And while, yeah, it was said with a sneer and a clear bad intent... It was also a warning, wasn’t it? It made Ron and Harry think of protecting her. 

This hurts so much, oh my gods. And you know I’m going to be looking for what her last words to Fred were. *sniff sniff sobb sobb*

Some things never change, no matter what year you’re in or world you’re on. I don’t know about you gals, but this is something I still say. And I’m 26 years old and living in Romania.

Mrs. Weasley is... pretty... uhm... harsh. 

Ron, dude... just how fucking strong are you? This is year 4. So he’s 15 years old. Like. D U D E.

Same, Harry. Same. Mornings are awful.

I... need that book. how much is too much?

He needed Hermione, of course he did. I think one of the smartest things Harry ever did was realize that he needed Hermione.

To be honest, I have cried over Ron and Harry’s friendship several times in the past and I too would want to hug them both at the same time. 

This is still the best line ever said in these books. 

Remember that time everyone’s jaw dropped over how good Hermione looked at the Yule Ball? Including Draco? Yeah, fun times.

Another brilliant life quote.

I TOTALLY FORGOT about the part where during the Triwizard Tournament, Hermione recieved hate mail because people thought she was double-teaming Harry and Krum.

NIFFLERS !!!

Siblings. <3

Sirius, you adorkable man, that is the cutest thing ever. That, and the fact that when the kids are talking about you and they don’t want everyone else to know they’re talking about you, they don’t call you Padfoot, they call you Snuffles. And you don’t mind it. Snuffles!!! Snuffles and his paw. AWH.

“Friendly reminder” that Cedric was tortured by Krum, just a little bit before he was killed.

uhm

iconic

Remember that time when Harry used just the fleeting thought of Hermione and Ron to conjure a full bodied patronus?

So much snark. So much funny. So much Harry-ness and Lupin-ness.

Harry. Calm the actual fuck down.

This echange, it hurts a whole freacking lot if you think about Sirius’s last words to Harry in the movie.

Such an interesting thing, Mrs. Weasley and Sirius fighting over who is more entitled to take care of Harry.

YEAH Look at Ginny! And look at her big brothers acknowledging her awesomeness.

Favorite cousin. Oh boy. That hurts mildly. ... How happy would have Sirius been that Lupin and Tonks got married? Oh boy. That hurts violently. 

Sirius is just a slightly older teenager. ‘snogging a pair of my father’s old trousers’. Lol. Just. Lol.

Yes, he’s talking to Harry. And yes, it’s one of the best descriptions of Harry ever.

Does getting off not mean the same thing in the UK? Why are they celebrating Harry masturbating ?! I can’t help but thing of Captain America: Winter Soldier and Steve is in an elevator filled with men, and his lips move to the words Before we start, does anyone wanna get off?, and the audio says get out and honestly.

Do people still insist that Ron is stupid? Cause Harry sure doesn’t think so.

Seriously. Marauders Netflix series. 5 seasons. Gimme.

This scene went on with Mrs. Weasley seeing her entire family, the twins TOGETHER, Harry and Hermione. I was sobbing alongside her, tbh.

Sirius is a slightly older child. 

Oh look! Ginny getting Luna and Neville together. How sweet ^.^

SO MANY THINGS HERE. Harry’s humor. Neville being amused by it. Neville’s self-deprecation. Ginny sticking up for him. Luna’s straightforwardness. 

Harry discovering what it’s like to be the third wheel in a lover’s spat.

Hermione rebelling against the system is a thing of beauty, really. Cinnamon roll thinks of nothing but murder all day.

This is a scene I remembered from the first time I read the books. And it’s still just as glorious now as it was then.

BOWTRUCKLES. 

I know they’re talking about giants but PENIS.

Of course her frostiness seemed to melt when she looked up at Ron. I like how Harry is slowly but surely noticing things.

Ron is, however, NOT noticing things.

Lee is such an underrated character.

Not gonna lie, I want a bauble with HAVE A VERY HARRY CHRISTMAS.

Another thing I remembered. I have yet to end up in a situation in which I could have used this insult, but I’m still planning on doing it.

Fred and Sirius fighting over dying for the Order GOOD GOD THAT HURTS

I... I just... Sirius being in full Christmas mode GOOD LORD

Sirius and Lupin buying joint Christmas gifts OKAY that’s not gay AT ALL.

Just... picture this. Visualize it in your head. I couldn’t stop laughing.

Neville THRIVING in the DA god bless 

Now look I ain’t saying they shouldn’t have trusted Dumbledore. I’m just saying he sure kept a lot of things from Harry.

Ginny is a force to be reckoned with. 

Harry, dude, what the hell were you smoking before bed???

So they are allowed to sit at other tables? Why isn’t anyone else doing it?

10 life saving wizard makeup hacks

I need that on a tshirt.

Same, Hannah. Same.

Dumbledore will not stand for physical abuse. Which is kind of funny (and by that, I mean really not funny) considering how Umbridge was torturing the students with her special quills.

There we go, Harry. Now you’re starting to really see Hermione-and-Ron.

Of course he hasn’t got a bit of a saving-people-thing. *snort*

So it was Ron who found the prophecy and really, that is very fine by me. I read a theory that Ron has a bit of a Seer in him. It wouldn’t surprise me, tbh.

SO Neville went through the first five years of school with a wand that WASN’T HIS. And it wasn’t for money reasons, like Ron did. It was just his Grandma screwing up because of sentimentality. And still.... Neville passed all of his classes. And he got really good in the DA. With the wrong wand. He’s pretty amazing.

I’m making a list of people I totally forgot were tortured before the war even started. So far it’s Harry, Cedric and Neville.

Last words. Also, first time Sirius and Neville were in the same room. (and not only did Sirius know who Neville was by seeing him, but he knew his name as well. was he friends with his parents? real friends, not just members of the Order?)

Things I completely forgot happened. 

Honestly, this feels like the only flaw Dumbledore could be faulted with. It also makes me very interested to see the relationship between him and Newt. 

LET ME SCREAM THIS FROM THE TOP OF MY LUNGS SERIOUSLY WHY WAS THIS NOT ADRESSED IN THE MOVIES I’M STILL SO ANGRY

Dumbledore’s crying and I was crying because he loves Harry so much good lord help me

Amazing. Harry’s comeback power. Brilliant.

Somehow, I forgot this particularly disturbing detail: dementors let out mist when they breed. 

THE OTHER SIDE CAN DO MAGIC TOO i mean jesus christ poor bloke he’s the Prime Minister and this is way above his pay grade

Snape being polite is unnerving.

SO FUN FACT. Snape did, in fact, fool the greatest wizard, the most accomplished Legilimens the world has ever seen. And I think Narcissa Malfoy did too (I’m not sure that bit in the movie, where she lies to Voldermort about Harry being that, not sure if that’s straight from the book, I guess I’ll see)

Now look I haven’t read The Cursed Child yet, but it is my understanding that... Voldermort shares most thing with Bellatrix, especially things that should stay in his pants. Right? It would explain her... behaviour. 

The dumbass seems glad. Oh lordy. MIstakes were made, by Draco. 

Dumbledore loves Harry so much because they share the same type of... snark. 

Mama bear.

I’m not sure whether I want to point out how much I love Luna’s embarrassing honesty, or Harry’s way of dealing with it. 

DO YOU EVER CRY BECAUSE YOU WANT ANOTHER Also. This is very important. That Voldermort has chosen. 

That’s so... I mean... Yeah, everyone would have loved to have been in her place but jesus Draco as a boyfriend. I can’t even picture it properly.

On one hand, poor Neville. On the other hand, bless McGonagall.

I C O N I C

also I can’t believe Harry survived this

If you ever wondered what Ginny smells like. 

That sounds incredibly kinky. 

Bless Hermione. Honestly, it would have made sense for her to end up with Harry, as well. 

Same, Hermione. Same. I never harm a new book. Old ones, sure, but never a new one.

AMAZING. This is their lives jfc. They’re teenagers and Ron is really asking this question for real. 

This was too good. I can’t deal with Ron speaking in a completely different voice. And I can’t deal with Harry’s awkwardness either. 

I like the way Harry described his MASSIVE ATTACK OF JEALOUSY

Year six, aka the year in which EVERYONE discovered they had a sex drive. 

Now, there is a discussion we need to have. WHY has Bellatrix been teaching Draco Occlumency? Also, is he good enough at it to hide from Voldermort? (Like Snape did). Cause that just goes to show how much POTENTIAL Draco had, that got flushed down the toilet because he sided with the wrong side.

I like how Fred just mildly questions it, and then moves past it. 

Hilarious. Also, reminds me of Stiles. It sounds like something he would say. 

Harry’s sweater didn’t have an H on it. 

Goes hand in hand with Hermione’s helping hand. 

I tried to count how many times Harry calls Voldermort handsome, but I couldn’t keep track. Honestly, do normal straight boys use this word so much?

Well, Harry, at least you realize you have a slight... unstraight... issue. 

Seriously. Handsome. 

The fact that Voldermort wanted to teach at Hogwarts... is both brilliant and terryfing. He also... I mean.... I am yours to command. jfc.

OH THAT EXPLAINS A LOT

She’s talking about Draco and my heart is breaking for the kid who screwed up one too many times. 

Ron is a very surprising character. Because he seems like an idiot, and he is sometimes. But other times, he’s got the brains and the street smarts to think outside the box, further than Hermione and Harry.

It just baffles me, how obsessed Harry was with Draco through this book. Granted, it was for a good reason, but at the end, Harry did spend a whole lot of time studying Draco.

The fact that Draco suffered a lot in year 6 is something you’ve accepted a long time ago. And you read the tumblr posts about it, and you see the movies. And then you go back to read the book and it just HITS YOU again, how horrible it was.

After Ginny and Harry kissed in the middle of the crowded common room. Amazing, Ron. Amazing. 

Gross sobbing, yes. Also thinking about who is them?

And Harry said the same thing about Dumbledore. And you cry and you cry because everything went to shit.

He’s talking to Draco, and Draco has to kill him and he knows it and my dear boy and I’m crying really badly.

So Draco hates Hermione pretty bad, by this point. Right? But even so, he doesn’t undermine her brains. 

HE WAS NOT GOING TO DO IT, DAMN IT

He made stupid mistakes, but he wasn’t stupid. And he was terrified. Damn it damn it damn it. SERIOUSLY NOW. I think the story would have been a lot more interesting if we saw Draco switching sides. I know there’s some sort of redemption in The Cursed Child, I’ll get to that but... it could have happened here, damn it. It should have happened here.

a most Hermione-ish look what even is that? =))

GOOD BOY, HARRY. GOOD. 

On one hand, this breaks my heart, because they were lonely. On the other hand, it warms my heart because Harry is aware of it, and because Luna and Neville dove right into danger without a second thought.

Again, I haven’t read The Cursed Child. But... flirting. ew. 

They were running from Voldermort, here. Taken into hiding. God bless Dudley Dursley.

Kinky. 

Last words.

If that would actually work... accio-ing people... i bet the Hogwarts hallways would be... chaos.

I would read three books about Tonks and Mad-Eye being Aurors.

Hermione is a the ends justify the means person. ... to an extent.

Dick jokes, god bless. 

SO. MANY. THINGS. I’m gonna focus on the fact that Ron got this from his older brothers. BLESS THAT. Siblings!!! Bros being bros, helping each other with the ladies! GOD BLESS IT. I want to see so much more of it. 

*sobbs quietly* I’m sure George witll do as you said.

So. Are we going to see Grandpa Krum in Fantastic Beasts? Also... everything is connected and the inside of JK’s head is amazingly mesmerizing. 

T H I S =)). Poor Krum just wanted to get laid =))

So. About that theory I read, where Ariana was an obscurus... After reading this. I’m like 80% sure she was. It explains a lot of things. 

Voldermort made Draco torture people. jesus christ that boy had it bad

... at least Harry sees it. At least someone saw it. 

I’m still torn about this. Because on one hand, Harry is exaggerating. But on the other hand, Dumbledore did use and manipulate Harry since the start. It was for the greater good, yes, but.... I’m torn. 

I have a feeling that a lot of wizard’s final acts have been to try to protect Harry.

This was horrible. It made Lupin do the right thing, but shit, Harry. 

I’m curious. If Harry thinks now, that Lupin and Tonks had to leave their kid.

I wanna write that quote on my ceiling.

GOD BLESS THE SILVER TRIO

Really, Harry was the worst student of the three.

So many things happened in Godric’s Hollow.

Beautiful.

WELL. I do wonder who chose that quote. 

I love these two together. They have such a beautiful relationship. And I imagine that Harry married Ginny first. And then, they’re at Hermione and Ron’s wedding. And the party’s dying down, and they’re sitting alone at a table, having a cup of tea. And Harry knocks their shoulders together and says that they’re finally family. And Hermione laughs, tells him that they’ve always been family, wedding rings or not. 

Very interesting pieces of information that we’re gonna keep an eye out for in the Fantastic Beasts movies.

I’m... 60% sure that a friendship wasn’t all they “struck”.

The question is if Grindelwald already knew about the obscurus by this point. Or if seeing Ariana dying because of it, if that is what triggered his obsession with them.

AND THIS IS WHY WE ARE GETTING FIVE FANTASTIC BEASTS MOVIES. ONE FOR EACH DELAYED YEAR.

Harry is always dramatic. It’s hilariously heartbreaking.

Harry and Hermione is a beautiful love. But Ron is just as important, damn it.

This is such a brilliant scene (I wish it wouyld have been included in the movies) because not only it defines them as individuals, but it also defines their relationship. The Golden Trio isn’t a trio because they’re alike, but because they complete each other. 

Wizard wands are like men’s penises, CONFIRMED

Beautiful and heartbreaking tbh

This was very interesting to me, because it was not included in the movies, and I forgot it. This choice that Harry had, Horcruxes or Hallows, it wasn’t presented like this. Neither was the fact that he did, eventually, mastered all the Hallows.

The thing is, Harry and Voldermort were similar, in some ways. And after they got inside each other’s heads, and got to know each other. I think that’s the only reason Harry was able to defeat Voldermort in the end. Harry understood him, but Voldermort didn’t understand Harry.

Teddy is a metamorphmagus. That’s gotta be fun.

Very straight, Harry.

Did Grindewald actually care for Albus Dumbledore? Or was he only interested in the obscurus? I really wanna know.

Neville never lost his faith, god bless.

Neville was brilliant, really. Everyone, including Harry, underestimated him.

Neville, Luna and Ginny were all raised in wizarding households. It’s nice to know that graffiti isn’t just a muggle thing.

I honestly believe that Voldermort would have been defeated with Neville as the Chosen One. It would have gone very differently, but the wizarding world would have been saved nontheless.

He didn’t even hesitate in using an Unforgivable, because it was McGonagall. 

HIlarious. Snape, you’re hilariously dramatic.

In the movies, it was just the Order, NOT THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. And Pansy was a dumbass bitch, yes, but she was terryfied. I reckon all the Slytherins were terryfied.

No it wasn’t. Damn it.

Harry, ever the third wheel. Amazing.

Fred’s last words this is so not fine

I think this explains their “post-war relationship” pretty beautifully

First of all, Sev. Second of all, she started pushing him away because he started hanging with Death Eaters.

MY GOD HOW MUCH DOES THIS HURT? LIKE A WHOLE LOT FUCKITYFUCK

The fact that Harry defeated Voldermort with Draco’s wand. That feels important to me. 

Luna is a gift.

That, Harry, is the biggest understatement ever.

19 years later, and Harry is still checking Draco out.

I CAN’T GIVE A PROFESSOR LOVE

I have a feeling Ron is a great, fun dad.

YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR, YOU’RE AMAZING          SO HERE, HAVE A COUPLE OF BONUSES                   FROM THE CURSED CHILD

THEY JUST MET and they’re already flustered good god

Honestly, that’s a great way to distract someone from difficult emotional issues.

If that isn’t the gayest thing I ever read... (well there was Ronan Lynch with the lamp, but anyway)

Dumbledore owning Harry’s dumbass even after his death.

WHAT EVEN IS THIS NONSENSE oh wait it’s a fucking Flashpoint

It’s really not, tho.

. . . It’s like they took everything the fans have ever wanted, and put it in this play. 

YOU READ THIS FAR OH MY LORD YOU’RE AWESOME        HERE HAVE A MINIBONUS FROM              FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM,                      BY NEWT SCAMANDER (HARRY’S EDITION)

Never tickle a sleeping dragon.

This explains a lot, actually.

Schoolwork, in a nutshell

We musn’t forget that throughout this, they were children.

#harry potter #hp #jk rowling #book #quote #sim reads harry potter #this was fun