#this look is giving me suburban dad vibes

[boyinthevoide]

CW: Rape mention, homophobia mention, references to child abuse.

One of my favorite things about Heathers the Musical (haven't seen the film) is how a lot of the characters actions, while objectively very bad, make sense.

And example: Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney seem like just two teenage dickheads, pushing people around because they can. Makes you think "why are they like this?"

And then, in the scene directly before Big Fun (Act One, Scene 5), we as the audience meet Paul Kelly and Bill Sweeney- Kurt and Ram's respective dads.

And immediately from the way they talk and the way they treat their sons, you can instantly tell "oh. That's why."

The full dialogue is this (referencing the West End version due to me being more familiar with that version):

RAM'S DAD. Okay, Ram. Have fun tonight, but I expect you to act your age. The Hendersons have the phone number for the cabin. If they call to complain, I'm gonna drive back here and knock the sand out of your diapers.

RAM. Dude! What am I, five?

RAM'S DAD. I'm your dad, not your dude.

KURT'S DAD. That goes double for you, Kurt. You're a guest in Bill's house and you will treat it with respect.

KURT. Sure thing. Dude.

(RAM cracks up laughing. KURT'S DAD takes the challenge in stride, smiling. Then, to RAM'S DAD:)

KURT'S DAD. Hold his arms.

(RAM'S DAD grabs KURT's arms. KURT'S DAD puts his son in a headlock, laughing.)

KURT'S DAD. Who's a great big sissy? Who's going to prom in a bright pink dress (OP's note: If Kurt had made it to prom he should have worn a dress, he'd rock a dress.)? Who's a sissy?

KURT. Ow! Okay, me! I'm a sissy, I'm a big fat sissy.

(The DADS release KURT.)

KURT'S DAD. Darn right. Enjoy your party, son.

RAM'S DAD. Punch it in.

(The DADS punch it in and exit.)

Just from this one interaction, it becomes immediately obvious why Kurt and Ram act the way they do- because their examples of how they should be are their dads, who they mimic in so many ways, most obvious in the "punch it in!" that both so commonly do. While this doesn't excuse anything Kurt and Ram do- they're still homophobic rapists- it makes it make sense. It lets you look and go "oh. That's why they act like this. Because their examples of 'manly men' act like this."

And, of course, the other, more subtle example of this is J.D. There's little hints about his dad sprinkled throughout just his first proper conversation with Veronica in a 711 (Act One, Scene 4). Lines like "The old man seems to love tearing things down.", "[That's your dad?] In all his toxic glory.", "When mom was alive/We lived halfway normal/Now it's just me and my dad/We're less formal/I learned to cook pasta/I learned to pay rent/learned the world doesn't owe you a cent." paint a not-pretty picture of J.D.'s home life. And then when we meet Big Bud Dean, J.D's father, he seems to live up to J.D's description, telling his son to "get rid of" his girlfriend, describing to said girlfriend (Veronica) how he'd blow up a suburban house before darkly asking where she lives. He immediately has very bad vibes. Then later, right before I Say No, in Act Two, Scene 4, we see Big Bud Dean again. J.D. starts off the scene arguing with Veronica after she shouts about murdering three classmates, how they could have gone to prison if they'd believed her. As soon as Veronica gets him to calm down a little, Big Bud Dean appears, telling J.D. to get in the car and ignoring whatever might have been happening a second ago. When J.D. says he's busy, Big Bud Dean leans in and says, and I quote,

"Lotta pretty women out there, sport. I can make another son any time I want."

Not to mention every implied moment of past abuse throughout the show.

So while having a shitty dad doesn't excuse J.D.'s actions, it does give them an amount of sense. Since his mother died, he's only ever been shown cruelty from a clearly quite violent (and possibly murderous) father. Of course he seems to think people can't change, that he and the only person he trusts, Veronica, are judge, jury and executioner for the less pure people of the world.

However, one of the many messages I think Heathers puts out is "Just because you have been hurt does not give you the right to hurt others."

Just because Kurt and Ram and J.D. have been hurt by people who shouldn't be doing such things to them does not mean they have a pass to hurt others.

This has been a lecture from someone who relates to J.D. but understands he's still wrong.

#heathers the musical #jason dean #kurt kelly #ram sweeney #character analysis #rape mention #homophobia mention #references to child abuse #just adding those in because i dont want to upset people.

[choccyhearts]

Eddie Munson Headcanons

Note: A stream of unconscious thoughts and ideas lol

CW: Swearing (cause i feel VERY pASSIONATELY), pretty much all fluffy and nice because I enjoy happy/nerdy/goofy Eddie, mentions of being high (ofc)

Most definitely has a special stuffed animal he's hidden away, most likely a tiger or polar bear that's been crushed and flattened to all hell. It's so hidden in fact, that Eddie actually forgets where it is. (But Wayne always knows)

Mans loves playing characters at the silliest of times

Like, if his partner wears curlers to bed, he's going to suddenly start acting like a 50's suburban husband (but not in a toxic way!!)

"Work today was brutal, darling! Thompson was kissing up to the boss and trying to butter him up for the new promotion! I'll show him where he can kiss it! And on my way home, I passed these-these teenagers! They were listenin' to some of that rock n' roll racket! Hollywood and it's James Whoevers and Pelvis Elvis, it's all noise!"

He'll rub his eyes and give a big yawn, turning off the lights and doing the dad stumble to bed

Not a lover of Christmas, but if his partner celebrates it and enjoys it, he'll try to find some Christmas spirit

Like, despite the younger ones being in literal high school and having fought horrifying hellish monsters together, he'll force them all to gather near him with their hot cocoas and candy canes as he reads The Night Before Christmas

Yes, of fucking course he's going to do the different voices. His Santa gets better each and every year

You can also guarantee that despite nearing 30 when it comes out, he will go and see The Nightmare Before Christmas when it comes out in the 90s and will enjoy it very much so

He gives me the vibe that even if it's not verbally, if he's feeling down and goes out for a walk, he is greeting every squirrel he sees. I do not give a fuck if you disagree, he's most certainly not a hater of animals. He's a "Hello, squirrel" motherfucker

Honestly, I could see him doing that more if his partner 1. Finds it adorable or 2. Does it themselves

When he's older, especially a dad, he's a silly hat enjoyer. Like, c'mon. Santa hats? Duh. Hats that say crap like "Foxy grandpa"? Yes. It's Thanksgiving dinner and he comes out sporting a turkey hat, type of silly

He says it's ironic, and it might start out that way, but he would definitely love it if he receives silly hats as gifts

Like when he gets to be Wayne's age, he's kicking back with a beer wearing a "Fish fear me, Women want me" hat

He has a special notebook that's filled with little special scraps of paper. It's brown and leather and has straps that wrap around it. He hides it inside of his mattress (cause he unhinged like that)

It has concert tickets, tickets for movies he really liked, notes he's been passed that he thinks are funny or are meaningful, doodles his friends have done, either for him or around him, candy or gum wrappers that he thinks look cool or might never eat again if they're from out of the state or country. There's also folded up posters for Corroded Coffin and zines him and the band made to promote their shows

It looks like a little trash booklet, but it's his trash booklet

When the first gets too full he gets a new one

This one has torn out scraps of catalogs, magazines or newspapers because they're what he used to teach his children different words. Baby formula labels, clothing tags, crayon scribbled napkins

It's just filled with mementos from his true grown adult life

The day he decides to let go of his glorious long hair his friends will all be in mourning. They love him with his new hairstyle, but God, does it sting -- it also signifies, yes, the 80's are dead

But don't worry, he did dress as Frankenfurter for a Halloween gig Corroded Coffin did much to chagrin of the other members before he did the big chop

He did not, however, wear heels or a corset (in public that is </3)

Rockstar!Eddie likes trying to take pictures with the guys in front of either iconic monuments or state/city signs while on tour

It's cute the first couple times, especially when they travel across the world, but it soon turns to:

"Eddie, we have stopped in front of this Idaho sign 5 times already, nobody gives a shiiit", Gareth whines, sleepily rubbing his eyes

"Aw, come on guys, it's tradition!!"

"Get the fuck back on the bus, it's 4 AM", Jeff yawns

Eddie gets them to come around by agreeing to skip seeing the world's biggest yarn ball

Went to the younger ones' graduation and held up the largest, most obnoxious video camera ever (Steve only begrudgingly let him film because Eddie made a point saying Steve should just sit and enjoy this one event)

He screamed at the top of his lungs for each of them resulting in Steve only half-enjoying the event

He has to spin in spiny chairs at least once or he will combust

Keeps ready-to-bake cookie dough in his fridge for smoke seshes

Once made and ate an inside-out peanut butter and jelly sandwhich when he got toooo high and didn't realize what was wrong until he was done and his hands were sticky

Lovingly calls Wayne, "Old man" -- "Whatchu talkin' bout old man?"

Used to carve creepy messages into trees to fuck with people but stopped when someone told him it hurts the tree's feelings

Would love to learn how to cook or bake but doesn't know who to ask/is afraid to ask

Picks up shiny things he sees without even thinking about it

Says, "It's not even that cold" when it's single digit degrees

However would gladly accept a pair homemade of mittens made for him and would wear them every winter

I'll cap it here for now, I might make some more though ^_^ Also, lmk if anyone wants specific headcanons because I have a bunch of ideas like:

◇ Dad!Eddie (Rockstar or mechanic)

◇ 90s!Eddie

◇ Holiday stuff

#eddie munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things #st4 #eddie munson headcanons

[kazoosandfannypacks]

CS Christmas ask, as threatened. ;) 3, 5, 18, 27

threatening me with a good time, I see. :D very well, I accept 😅

3. Favorite Captain Swan scene? I'm gonna go with the one in Regina's vault in season 6, when Emma is stressed about saving her parents and being the savior and facing the evil queen and all these visions she's having- and Killian just takes her hand and says "shhh, love, it's storytime." and he sits her down and retells her the story of how her parents met, and fell in love, and how "true love can break any curse- and so can you, because that's what you're made of." It's such a pure, gentle moment they share, and I cannot get enough of it. It also has the exact same vibes of the song "So Will I" by Ben Platt, which is my comfort song and I associated it with them long before that episode as well

5. What are you most looking forward to this Christmas? Christmas is on a Sunday this year, and I bought a lovely new cherry red dress to wear to church, so I'm fairly excited about that. I'm also excited to give Christmas presents to my family and to see my relatives (we have family in Alaska who will be down to visit around Christmas!)

18. Do you have any Captain Swan Christmas headcanons? First off, I'm a firm believer that Emma is a Halloween person and Killian is a Christmas person- not that there has to be a dichotomy between them like that, but that's absolutely the case. I also headcanon that their first Christmas together was when they were in Camelot (this one's not as much a headcanon as like. Like I've mapped out the timeline on this. I have notes. Emma became a Dark One on approximately December 22, give or take a week's variance on either side. My headcanon is that they actually celebrated Christmas in some way while they were there- we definitely don't see every day of the six weeks they were there) This is less of a captainswan one and more just Killian, but I also have this headcanon as of recent that Hook and Rumple's animosity post-season 6 trickles into some kind of like, rival suburban dads thing and I'm picturing Gold and Killian competing to have the most decorated house for Christmas- which is especially entertaining because Killian knows nothing about electricity but is still determined to best the crocodile in this (he definitely enlists Henry and David's help.) I also like to think that Emma isn't really the best cook, but she tries to do something special for breakfasts on Christmas- probably, like, making pancakes (yes, actually making pancakes, but I know where every CaptainSwan fan's mind went when I said that) and it's just her usual boxed pancakes, but she pours the batter into cookie cutters on the pan so they're Christmas shaped. This kind of becomes tradition, and she even starts changing it up by adding stuff like m&m's to the Christmas tree shaped ones to look like ornaments and sometime cinnamon and cocoa powder in the gingerbread shaped ones to give them a darker color. Also sorry for making this one so long, but I also feel like Henry starts Christmas morning at Regina's. Assuming Christmas existed in Storybrooke, they probably had a lot of years of traditions to continue, and while Emma and Killian love being with their son, they do recognize that they have each other, and all that Regina has is Henry (and Emma knows how much it stinks to be alone on the holidays!) Besides, Killian and Emma certainly don't mind spending a quiet evening together on Christmas eve, with eggnog and mistletoe, probably falling asleep on the couch together in the glow of the Christmas Tree. One last CaptainSwan Christmas headcanon for now- somehow Killian and Henry find out that Emma absolutely loves Christmas trees, despite her initial adamant insistence that she's indifferent towards Christmas. So, one day when Henry's off from school, Killian takes a day off from work to "take Henry sailing-" but instead they go pick out the perfect tree and decorate it to surprise Emma when she gets back- needless to say, she absolutely loves their perfect little Christmas tree, and starts to get a little Christmas spirit herself.

27. What's your biggest Christmas wish this year? I don't have a whole ton of Christmas wishes- I know I can't get the big item I wanted right now, but I'm good without it, and well. I've got a job, I don't have to worry about rent or food because I still live at home, I get to see my family every day and my friends often and I have a lovely group of online friends I can talk with every day. I have free time to express my creative talents and I get to see almost all of my extended family this year! I'd say if I did have a Christmas wish, it would be to see my best friend sometime while she's on Christmas break. We worked at camp together for a while, and became friends after a year or two of not speaking to each other very much [we became friends again specifically because I needed someone to talk about ouat with and she had seen the first couple of seasons- and now she's on season 6 in our watchthrough together that picked up where she left off,] and now she's my closest friend, despite the fact that I've only seen her twice since we started talking to each other again. It's not super important to see her in person, because I'm used to her being more like an internet friend, but it would be so cool to see her in person again for a little bit! We haven't made any plans though, and she lives a couple hours away- and neither of us drive- so it probably won't happen, but that's alright too!

sorry this is such a long response 😅 I did not expect to ramble so much

Captain Swan Christmas Ask Game!

#kazzy answers asks #once upon a time #once upon a time season 6 #ouat #captain swan #christmas #killian jones #emma swan #henry mills #regina mills #david nolan #kazzy rambles

[nikialexx]

i am bored so. here is me rating the stranger things characters as someone who has thus far only seen seasons 1 & 2

starting it off with the absolute Best Man, Hopper. the only one with a functional braincell. just trying to prevent everyone from getting killed. 10/10 

he’s hotter than steve idk why everyone keeps acting like he isn’t. he did lose some points for the whole stalker photography thing in s1 but we love a good big brother. 8/10

kind of insane but to be fair, she’s been through A Lot. I love the vibe she brings u know. like she would absolutely kill for her children without a second thought. 9/10

a true himbo. a single dad just trying his best. he didn’t deserve nancy and was kind of terrible to her so i am still #teamjonathon though sorry. he cannot fight to save his life but i think it’s admirable that he keeps trying. 8/10

i’m so sorry to the nancy fans. i like her enough but i don’t trust her. she really does give off Suburban White American Mom, you know. like i see a future ‘can i speak to the manager’ when i look at her. 6/10

he is a TERRIBLE friend like just downright awful. i keep waiting for someone to hit him. we do however love a man that’s pathetically in love with his badass girlfriend. 5/10

a baby. best boy. has never done anything wrong ever. 10/10

listen. listen to me. i would die for this boy. 11/10

King. the only one who puts Mike in his place. hopper shares the braincell with him. 9/10

i think she would really benefit from some therapy and also being allowed to kill everyone. the only reason mike is ever tolerable. 9/10

i think she would really benefit from some therapy and also being allowed to kill everyone. 9/10

i cried when he died but also. why the hell did he stop running to make googly eyes with joyce. he loses points for that. 7/10

terrible human being but i enjoy looking at him. 2/10

#stranger things #i made this solely so i could hate on mike

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - THE DIRT 1.25

IMDB BLURB: Based on the bestselling autobiography from Mötley Crüe, the film is an unflinching tale of success and excess as four misfits rise from the streets of Hollywood to the heights of international fame.

WARNINGS: Sex, so much sex. Boobs. Graphic depictions of drug use. Horrible 80s hair. Pete Davidson. We’re fucking dumb.

RATING: You don’t know fuckin’ shit about Motley Crue.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: The absolute shit I do for you. This movie had better slap ass because I really don't like Motley Crue and I don't think they're hot and there had better be some shit to make fun of. Like Motley Crue. I really hope I get to make fun of Motley Crue. I'm gonna start right now by making fun of the way they spelled Motley Crue like a bunch of fucking edgelords.

Biscuits "How many calories are in tequila" Horrorslash: where the hell is my shotglass??!? WHOO YEAH BABEY THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! This movie gave Motley Crue a huge resurgence in popularity. Everyone saw it and was like - my poor little meow meows uwu. Like - if by that you mean four feral cats let loose in your house screeching and pissing everywhere then yeah.

M: So we open with a little intro to the 80's and people are fucking and ...squirting...publicly....and I'm about to make Biscuits write this entire thing himself.

B: What did you really expect? Nikki is narrating and he has a sad backstory so everyone gets to slobber over him.

M: I'm not picking sides. I don't think any of them are cute. Why does Nikki's dad look like Charles Manson? He's very mouthy for like....a 10 year old? Nikki cuts his arm with a knife to blame his shit ass mom for it.

B: It is based on a book so it's them retelling their own rock star backstories, so take this with as many inches of dick as we're gonna assign to them. So Tommy gets like 8 and a half and Nikki gets like 3.

M: I'm not gonna ask how you know how big everyone's dick is.

B: These men have shown many parts of themselves. Tommy was naked like 90 percent of the time. Also that was a joke, I’m not even saying it’s accurate.

M: I still don't wanna know. So Frank Jr is now Nikki Sixx because he grew up and shit.

Frank Jr.? But he’s just a little girl!

M: Now Tommy is narrating? He comes from like...super suburban normal life. His family is like super normal and healthy. Except Tommy.

B: Tommy Lee was really attractive when he was young. He's the youngest! Tommy and Nikki meet in a diner and they're like - we should totally be in a band and fuck girls in the vicinity of each other! Or just touch tips. Nikki is like - my new band is gonna be so cool! I'm gonna get like 4 rabid raccoons together and just turn em loose on a stage! They find a guitarist but he's shitty and they hate him.

M: Who's this dude? (Mick Mars, he's gonna be the guitarist.) He doesn't like Tommy's old band, they suck. Mick Mars is a dick, jesus. He's like - I am the best guitarist EVAR.

B: Mick Mars is a better guitarist than most people. I have some respect for him, unlike the other members of the band. He's got ankylosing spondylitis and he can walk in heels and play guitar better than I probably ever will. So the band has picked up an old man with bone disease.

M: That's pretty fucking hardcore tho, no wonder he's such a dick. Chronic pain does shit to a person. They are looking for some random skinny dude with attitude to sing in the band. The requirements are so low here.

B: Tommy is giving off major Bill and Ted vibes.

M: They find what I assume Vince Neil singing at a pool party and they're like - HE IS SURROUNDED BY BABES we must take him. This guy looks nothing like Vince Neil.

People ask me - “What don’t you like about Motley Crue music?” I say, “The sound.”

B: Tommy speaks at 300 words per second. Vince is doing coke with his girlfriend because it was the 80's and everyone did cocaine except Jon Bon Jovi.

M: He's not even a rock star yet. This is the most haphazard getting a band together I've ever heard of. They're just like HEY WE ARE A BAND NOW AND WE'RE GONNA GET SO LAID!

B: Vince's girlfriend is just gonna stand there.

M: She's already trying to manage the band but they're gonna shut her down with the power of BUTTROCK!

B: Tommy Lee has the energy of a crackhead even when he's not high. He's lighting cockroaches on fire with hairspray. Nikki has a whole notebook full of doodles of pentagrams and shitty band names. That's just me. I have that same notebook.

M: Why is Mick the only sane member of this band?

B: He doesn't have the energy to do like all the fucked up shit, he's too tired. Vince looks like 80's coked up hooker barbie.

The bass player is the loser of the band, yes he is - if you don’t believe me, take a look at the one you’re with!

M: I guess they're playing a gig now? Or not. Vince and co are already kicking people's asses before a note has been sung.

B: They're throwing hands. And everyone is like - FUCK YEAH THIS BAND RULES! THEY JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE! I'd like to state for the record that my stenographer is refusing to type out some of the things I am saying. She's becoming more of a lesbian every second.

M: Number 1 - I am not your stenographer. 2 - you can edit in whatever you want but I am typing RIGHT NOW, 3 - I really am. Wtf is going on in the movie?

B: A montage of them doing gigs. That's Pete Davidson! They haven't been signed yet tho so I guess that's where Pete comes in. There's probably gonna be even more sex scenes in this movie.

M: There's already been like four!

B: THICK ASS. I almost put my hands on the table and howled like a wolf.

M: You'll be glad later that I left so many things out. So now Pete is talking to them and there's some chick under the table giving random blow jobs but he doesn't want one.

B: And now more violence!

M: Mick Mars just straight up Deadpools us by talking directly to the camera and he is now my favorite member of Motley Crue, at least in this movie.

He’s hip, he’s cool, he’s 45

B: Nikki doesn’t like Kiss. I like Kiss. Munch doesn't even like Kiss! What DO you like?? What do you listen to that's so great!?? Kate Bush? Bruno Mars or some shit?

M: You need more alcohol. I just don't fuckin' like BUTTROCK.

B: GLAM METAL. Buttrock is deragatory.

M: It's meant to be. Vince is somehow fucking yet another girl. How does he have time in his day for this. Pete talks to the camera and tells us not to leave our girlfriend alone with Motley Crue because they'll fuck her.

B: Probably good advice. Just a bunch of dudes in leather and studs and makeup. Just dudes being guys.

M: It was a very straight thing to do in the 80's.

B: I don't think that's the original track. That's not Vince singing...ugh. (disclaimer: read to the end for the SHOCKING TRUTH!)

M: How you even noticed that...and now for some good old fashioned SATANIC PANIC! And the band comparing how many women they've fucked. Once again Mick proves to be the only human being in the group. Who I think is supposed to be Ozzy in a dress comes around with money sticking out of his ass. Ozzy snorts...ants.

B: And pisses on the concrete. Both seem entirely like something Ozzy would do. Then licks it up. Oh Tommy sounds like he liked that

M: WHY AM I BEING MADE TO WATCH THIS. Ozzy is licking up Nikki's piss now. An aside from Doc says what we're all thinking.

B: Is this the indecent exposure incident??

M: Which one????

B: The one where Tommy was running through a hotel naked and some people got mad about it. And they arrested Mick instead.

M: Doc says they did stupid shit because they were Motley Crue. And now the mud wrestling sequence. 

B: They're acting like Vince was the most horny dude. Maybe he was but like - these other guys are also horny. Vince is like - Sharice you're my girl, move in with me, I won't fuck as many women. I was about to ask how these dudes had the energy to fuck this much but then oh yeah! Cocaine!

They’re soooo together!

M: Tommy is introducing people to his family and new fiancee? He has a few of them. Tommy's mom is SAVAGE. Tommy is coming across like a 12 year old with too much freedom.

B: That is basically accurate. 3 middle school boys and their dad who drinks a lot. 

M: Tommy and his new fiancee are having some...difficulties. 

B: This is not the last time Tommy will hit a woman. He had a bit of a temper.

M: I feel like you don't really need to watch this. You already are like...a Motley Crue historian. 

B: Oh we're just gonna drive drunk and leave Vince's pregnant wife here, I sure hope nothing bad happens! 

M: Oh yeah I forgot Tommy and Heather Locklear were a thing. 

B: "I love you." Tommy Lee to every woman he meets. It's the drummer from Hanoi Rocks in the car with Vince I think. And now death. This really did happen and yes he was drunk and yes that man died. 

M: But it's fine because they're in Motley Crue. 

B: Whoops! Uh oh. Oopsie Daisy. That man is dead. And it's your fault, Vince.

All the girls want to know - who’s the cutest boy on death row?

M: VINCE GETS 30 DAYS FOR MURDERING A DUDE. Wtf. Nikki is very sad that Vince is in jail but it's okay because he's on heroin now and Biscuits is never ever gonna have a heroin addiction because he can't stand needles. 

B: I can't even inject my own testosterone! And that doesn't even have to go into my veins! Vince has returned from uh...killing a guy.

M: Is he sober now?

B: Supposedly. No nevermind he's immediately snorting cocaine. And vomiting.

M: Oh he's snorting smack, no wonder he's sick. Nikki keeps blaming Vince for fucking up the band when he's busy injecting heroin every other scene. And missing repeated calls from his sad mother. Tommy Lee is in love every five minutes in this movie. Vince now has a kid I guess but she doesn't seem to like him much?

B: Well.....Theatre of Pain, are they gonna show Theatre of Pain Tommy Lee because I might have to take a break.

M: That's between you and jesus. Tommy Lee gives a life on the road montage where he shows everyone getting wasted and performing and then getting wasted again. Drink, snort and fuck everything in sight. It's a wonder they lived this long tbh.

B: All four of them are still alive actually!

M: It's honestly a miracle. This is hard to like...narrate because it's so chaotic. It's just like - watching a band go bonkers and slowly self destruct. (disclaimer: read til the end for the SHOCKING TRUTH about why it was so hard to narrate!)

B: That's the beauty of it all! It's 4th of July, we're recording this, well not recording it, but you know. There’s fireworks outside and fireworks on the screen. Nikki has mommy issues! Oh poor little meow meow. Come sit on my lap poor little meow meow!

M: People are gonna take you seriously.

B: I was joking there. Like 70 percent. 80 percent. Oh my god, not in your neck Nikki, ew.

M: I guess Tommy is getting married. Nikki is wasted as fuck.

B: You've got more opportunities Tommy! You'll have several more happiest days of your life! Nikki can't even put his suit jacket on. This your man? This your boy? Somebody come get him. Nikki Sixx did a LOT of heroin.

M: 1000 dollars a day is a lot of heroin.

B: Is this the part where he died?

M: You're the Motley Crue historian.

B: I'm not sure if this is that time when he overdosed or if he's just normal shooting up heroin. Wtf did you give him, I gave him heroin!

M: I'm guessing that's an overdose.

Hey guys...Kyle’s dead!

B: Nikki went to the great beyond! But he came back!

M: This was apparently before naxolo...naxostuff.

B: I think that's just adrenaline. I was happy, but I kept doing heroin! That's how drugs work, kids. Oh my god, they didn't need to show the vein thing more than once.

M: Well it's a good message to kids watching this. Drugs are gross. They will turn you into a bleeding arm gross man-thing. Now they're sober and shit and they hate each other.

B: They can't stand to be around each other when they're not high. They all had massive prima donna egos.

M: Hardly a shock. But they're all good clean boys now. Trying to have family lives and shit. And hating each other. A lot more. Vince is going to be a huge dick about this. He wants to have FUN. I really enjoy's Mick's little asides. He's just kind of in the background with his fucking vodka like - these dudes are all idiots.

B: Vince's wife left him. And he left the band.

M: If Pearl Jam is here their career is almost over anyway.

B: And then the 90's happened! It was a bad time for Motley Crue. Big manly rocker boy egos clash! I don't like you guys anymore! We're gonna get a new singer! John uh....Corabi. But they don't have a blonde guy anymore so it's never gonna work.

M: You can't have a buttrock band without a blonde guy!

B: Oh yeah Vince's daughter died of cancer, I forgot about that.

M: WHAT. That's super fucked up. Nobody likes new Motley Crue without Vince. He was kinda one of those unique voices. JohnBoy out here like WHOO I'M IN A ROCK BAND! He's about to be so disappointed.

Someone's gonna get a punch in the head. Who d'ya thinks gonna get a punch in the head?

B: There's a whole crowd of people out here booing you!

M: Everything is going to Motley Hell. Vince's kid is dying, Mick isn't looking so hot, Tommy's Heather is leaving him, Nikki is just sulking.

B: Yeah we had a good ride, except for all the drugs and you know...death, and crime...and punishment...Vince's kid, yeah she died. Nikki visits his dad's grave.

M: And meets a half brother he didn't know he had?? What the fuck is this shit

B: Oh he means a FAMILY! He needs a family!

M: His own MOTLEY CREW. NIkki and Tommy make up and touch tips and go out to find Mick who is looking more and more like death warmed over every day. But to be fair, he's got a condition.

B: We're getting the band back together, even though they just broke up. Vince, we love you man. You're our blonde man, man. There may be a million other slutty blonde men out there but you're OUR slutty blonde guy. Sometimes a family is four dudes who do drugs.

M: They're gonna go perform again I guess? Long slow dramatic walk to the stage.

B: Maybe the real treasure...the REAL MOTLEY CRUE is the friends we made along the way! And some tasteful ass shots!

“ One day you’ll look back on this as the best time in your life.” “ I sure hope not!”

M: Priorities. I guess they played together for another 20 years for some fucking reason.

B: Until 2015 but...They're doing a stadium tour like...as we speak.

M: Why. I don't really have anything to add. Biscuits just hurt himself headbanging. Oh my god. I just realized I forgot to turn the speed down and we just watched that entire movie at 1.25 speed. No wonder Tommy Lee was talking so fast.

B: *chokes to death on laughter* I can't believe we did that.

M: That's so fucking funny.

B: It's so on brand. I THOUGHT the songs sounded weird!! Holy fuck, oh my god. I don't even have any closing thoughts now because that's so fucking funny. Closing thoughts: we are two of the dumbest people who've ever lived.

#Motley crue #review #munchflix #the dirt #tommy lee #nikki sixx #vince neil #mick mars #humor #rock and roll #mötley crüe

[star-mum]

Criminal Minds 3x5 - Live Star Reaction

I have a lil list now of Sunny’s favorite episodes from the season, so I will be doing a lot more CM “postage” <33

Okay at first I thought it was an airport oops

Fun fact ! I almost got lost on a mall once as a kid, my aunt was with me trying clothes in this store and forgot I was with her ? And left when she was done? (8yo me had enough common sense to stay put and wait near women) she came back looking for me soon but still, that’s a memory I had forgotten for a while 🤭😗

The aunt called but she’s not here (?)

A joystick controller ???? Also Garcia taking charge 👀 hello

Oh there there the rest of the family is

ALRIGHT I HAVE 5 MINS OF CONTENT, TIME FOR SOME DETECTING

- person was taller than Kate but not necessarily an adult, could be an older teen

- Either someone she knows or who doesn’t look necessarily threatening (could be a woman?)

Why is the uncle blaming his son ???? Sir yOURE THE ADULT ????

I know this family is going through hell right now but all these adults are so unlikeable, ALSO they’re giving me weird vibes (the husbands specially)

Obviously the girls mom is worried something like the Jessica Davis murder might happen to her daughter, she’s sobbing but the dad ? He’s so calm, physically and they’re both SO INTERESTED in that murder (would a parent really want to know the horrors that might happen to their child in detail, like this man just asked to hear)

Why is the uncle trying to DERAIL THIS INVESTIGATION ???? Maybe she’s “just lost” ?????

Are they in on it somehow ? The “tries to insert themselves in the investigation” is so fucking ingrained in my brain, maybe that’s what the dad is trying to do about the JD situation

I hate when the EP name becomes significant 🙃

“Something else lured her away from the arcade” We did see that pink balloon !

“Why would you say I taught her well and not we taught her well?” Considering that she’s probably a stay at home mom ? If any one parent is teaching Katie is her mom?

“We’re not participating in any affairs” ...that you know of, thats kinda the point of an affair

OKAY! I’m even more inclined to the possibility of the unsub being another an older kid, if Katie did have issues with a classmate/friend an older sibling could’ve taken great offense to it

Also the necklace ? It’s very expensive gift and I’m assuming her birthday is either coming up or just happened (cause of that first scene) so maybe she got it as a gift from someone who told her to keep it a secret, that’s why she told her parents she found it

The unsub didn’t want the necklace tho, they didn’t take it they threw it away (maybe they’re angry at Katie for having it, maybe “she doesn’t “deserve” it?)

Okay wait wait wait, we’re just a little after halfway through the episode, and theyre pretty much sure Katie was being molested by her uncle (and his son probably knew something about it or was hurt too) and i just WANT TO PUT THIS OUT THERE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT IM RIGHT

When the they just lost track of Katie’s scent, it was because a vent from the food court was confusing the dogs and I thought to myself “huh maybe the unsub knows a lot about this mall, maybe they went there on purpose just in case, also they kept themselves just shy of the camera view AND who mentioned having worked retail a long time ? The aunt

I was gonna mention that to support my claim of it being a tween (this person doesn’t need to work in the mall, just spend a lot of time there, and in this suburban of a town? Malls are The Hangout Spot)

Anyways this is just in case the uncle had nothing to do with it, cause he was acting really weird the entire time (the dad was as well)

OH MY GOD WHAT IF THE COUSIN WAS HURTING KATIE ???? OH MY GOD, IS THIS WHAT REID IS GETTING AT ???

JESSICA DAVIS MAYBE ???? Sunny you were right to send this one my way, this is insane

I’m pretty sure I have said every possibility but if any of them are right, I’m an evil genius

If they’re all wrong, Im a humble genius

I know they’re “officers of the law” and what not but god do i wish they could beat up pedophiles (and Im sure they would agree)

MOTHERFUCKER I WAS RIGHT AAAAAA LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

And the reason why I figured something out was THE SAME THING THAT EMILY REALIZED

Idk how easy this one was to find out but I feel pretty smart right now : 3

Literally holy fucking shit, Emily should get to deck this lady out

AND SHES THE ONE WHO CALLED THE POLICE !!!!

That was the most satisfying scene to watch, I wish Prentiss had yelled more at her actually, I wished she slammed the table, thrown a chair around

THEY PULLED A GREYS ANATOMY ON ME !! THEY PLAYED SAD MUSIC ON TOP OF A MONTAGE TO MAKE ME THINK THAT LITTLE GIRL WAS DEAD

Really fucking good episode, holy shit

I think I would’ve been forever fucked in the head if Katie died so good she didn’t

[terribletoonietuesday]

Heartland of Darkness (1992) aka Blood Church

Oh my GOD why did I wait so long to watch this? It is so laugh out loud funny and for all the beautiful accidental reasons. If it wasn't for the prosperous acting, the insanely intense pacing and absurd complexity of making Children of the Corn take over suburbia. Tell me if you heard this before but a single dad reporter takes over a newspaper in a small middle america town only to find he is not wanted there because the innocent looking townspeople are all deep in a satanic conspiracy. One of the best parts is that the main lead is a much better actor than anyone else in this movie, thus making everyone else in the town sound like they are crazy (which is both accidental and on purpose). The evil reverend whose church has brainwashed the town with his satanic rite is played by Nick Baldasare the star of Beyond Dreams Doors and he is equally hilarious as he is legit scary, creating a perfect b movie character. I'm also a big fan of his wardrobe choices in this movie. This never had a full release until last year when Visual Vengeance released it on blu ray and it looks so good in this complete package. Which is why it is such a shame this movie has not been seen since now as I believe Nick Baldasares life would be different if more people saw this. In honesty if it wasn't for the overly intensely played moments in every goddamn scene I might say this movie was boring. No far out fantasy and no major action until the final quarter where the film legit falls into madness (as it should) . However every scene is played so over the top in its dialogue, its improper casting choices (Linnea Quigley as a highschool teacher yet she is dressed like she always is and the leads teenage daughter played a woman way too old to be his daughter) and the dumbed down dialogue that every second is entertaining. Every scene feels like it is systematically made to be riffed on purpose. I literally could hear the voices of Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett from RiffTrax in my head dishing out comments every 10 seconds during this masterpiece of something. It feels like they got real local people to be the towns folks in this movie and their sheer confusion of what is going on in each scene works perfectly to give them all a dunwich coocoos vibe (even though they obviously don't know they are doing it). There's a sex scene that is borderline Nightbeasts levels of awkwardness. Beyond all that it is the very fact that 80s and 90s suburban "nuclear" households were really living in fear that this kind of "Satanic Panic" was happening and with this movie playing it so straight while also so insane should ,i can only hope, will prove to people how stupid it is to believe in this kind of conspiracy. It's like an NBC tv movie with the three Bs added in Blood , Boobs and Baldasare. This is B movie gold that should be seen in a group where you and your friends yell and laugh at the screen to help in some of the slower spots because right up until the very last line in the movie it is extremely quotable and when it's done all your confusion will make you say that it was god damn brilliant… yeah I said god damn alot tonight. Blame the movie.

[justbiran]

I'd totally write a drabble where Violetta characters met dndads characters if I wasn't afraid I'd totally mess up their characterizations.

Like ever since I first laid eyes on Camila I knew she'd get along with the Oaks.

ACTUALLY WAIT IDEA. I'mma screw up characterization but eff it I guess.

Note: I do not speak ANY Spanish. If I use any terms/phrases incorrectly please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It all started with a knock on the door. Suede boots stood on the welcome mat that read 'Good Vibes, Come On In!' Distant noises of a goat bleating in the backyard and children shouting inside reached the teen's ears. She waited patiently as she heard the scrambling of paws rush to the door followed by frantic barking. How on earth this family managed to exist in a suburban neighborhood was beyond her, but she knew she wanted to be just like them when she was older. Even if she had barely even met them so far!

"Ah! You must be Camila!" A friendly voice interrupted her thoughts.

Camila smiled at the sun-kissed man standing at the door. He looked exactly like a granola loving, Birkenstock rocking, crunchy munchy, hippie, nature, druid dad. Whatever that meant. His blonde hair was about as tamed as the child hanging from- why was there a child swinging on a light fixture?

The man turned his head and followed her gaze to the dangling 8 year old. With a sigh he shouted, "Mi Amor, on your way out could you get Sparrow down from the light?" He turned back to Camila with his former smile turned sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck and introduced himself. "Sorry about that, my name's Henry Oak, that's one of my two beautiful boys, Sparrow. Why don't you come on in!"

As she followed Henry in, she saw a gorgeous woman, who ranked a 10/10 on the hugability scale, gently trying to pry Sparrow from the light. As she spoke to him, Camila caught the occasional twinge of an accent.

"Sparrow, please come down before you fall and give me a heart attack!" She said in a lovely, calming voice that was perfect for a podcast.

"Never! I will fly- fly like the bird that Brother tried to catch!"

"¡Verás!"

Henry walked over to his wife and placed a kiss on her cheek before turning to his son, "How did you even get up there? And where is Lark?"

At the mention of his name, a second 8 year old came barreling out from behind a wall, riding a large dog like a horse as they galloped towards the door. "Thank you for your sacrifice, Brother! Now I shall roam FREE!"

Seeing the child coming right towards her, Camila scooped Lark up and off of the dog before he could reach the door. The dog, ever obedient stood by her feet watching its master. Henry turned to her with wide, grateful eyes before introducing said child and his wife, Mercedes. Lark squirmed out of her grasp before jumping over towards Sparrow and climbing his brother so that he, too, could swing from the light fixture. The dog trotted over and barked at them for a moment before leaping onto a nearby chair to watch.

Mercedes shook Camila's hand with a gorgeous smile before patting her shoulder and whispering, "No need to be so nervous, Camila. I can already tell you'll do great with them."

Henry looped his arm through his wife's and gave Camila a few final instructions before giving his children one last goodbye and heading out the door.

"Alas, our efforts have been thwarted again! We will succeed next time! I swear it upon my own deceased carcass, Father!" One of the twins declared as the door shut.

Camila turned around from where she watched the Subaru pull away to look at the two kids- who were now standing in front of her with matching expressions. Mischief gleamed through their chocolatey eyes as they stared down their babysitter.

This was going to be a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that's part one! I should probably make a title for this... And I'll prolly post this on ao3! It's been a hot minute since I actually posted a fic on there... Let me know what you think potential reader!

#dndads #violetta #dungeons and daddies #dndaddies #fanfic #fanfiction #lark oak #sparrow oak #camila torres

[evansbby]

thats FR me rn i was solely reading steve fics but i was running out then i found ur blog and now i unconsciously scroll to ari levinson in masterlists 😭

tbh i’ve never really read a lot of andy fics :/ steve emanates sexy authoritative vibes n ari is beefy teddy bear n andy is just.. suburban dad?

anyways im in my bucky & ari era rn 🫶💅🏻

hehehe the Steve girl to Ari girl arc is sooo real 😌 but Steve is still daddy 😌😌😌 just not the biggest beefiest DADDIEST daddy (Ari)

Andy is suburban dad but he can’t even make it look hot sjsjsjsjak so he just gives weird cold clinical dad vibes

#jumbleofth0ughts

[overthinkingtaleblr]

I actually decided to look into like. Home plans and layouts for no reason so uh. When thinking specifically about home plans for the early PIE people, I decided I really liked the aesthetic of the small 1950s suburban neighborhood map they used a couple times and looked into 1950 style house layouts. With the homes in mind it also makes it a little bit easier to figure out their home dynamics and stuff.

This is the floor plan I picked out for the Ghost family— Peewee, Senior, and Johnny— and recreated it on a floor planning website so I could add furniture and use it as a reference if I decide I want to draw something in their house. I might do this with everyone’s house, but it took awhile to even get what I have, so... The garage in the recreated floor plan is probably be like. Wallless, still.

Anyways down the line let’s go— House 1: Katrina and Johnny Roast (I made them siblings), House 2: Johnny Toast, House 3: Ronnie Boast

A big reason why I’m doing this is bc it makes it easier to figure out what their family dynamics and home lives were like bc that’s stuff I like to think about.. I think Kat and Roast have very busy parents and a very busy household with probably a few non-immediate family members living there as well. Either giving Kat the attic room to give em vibing room and fun framing, or Roast the attic room so he can be like that moody older brother with his own space. Boast might have a sibling they share a room with, but other than that I think he spends more time outside so it doesn’t really matter what his space looks like cuz he’s too busy eating grass.. and Toast..

Okay so idk what to do with Toast a lot of the time. I have a whole lot of stuff to explain how he got to the states despite being generally somewhere in the royal family, but I can’t decide if I want to split him from his siblings or have them all live in the same place… So he gets a house with a basement that could have another bedroom in it. That’s me tapping out and saying anything works, but admittedly I prefer thinking about the Toast siblings being basically raised separately up to like High School and that’s part of why they’re all so distant from each other.

I also hc that Chakalata lived in the area (if not where the Ghost family lived, the Casket family) before he was banished so. Spooker’s childhood home and Chakalata’s old restaurant floor plans. I wanted Spooker’s house to have a lot of space bc I think that his sister and Poppy were living in the house around the time, too... I think I might hc Ghost to be a little younger than Spooker tbh. The house is still around but the restaurant got set on fire and deleted from existence, so. The third picture is the Olive Garden Chakalata picked up after getting out of whatever pocket dimension he was sent to since i doubt he was able to bring the first one back.

And finally, the houses Gregory lived in with his dad and CBF (CBF’s is the mansion and was the best I could find for the moment).

In the future when I have access to Gmod I might make some tweaks but. For the most part this is what I have.

#taleblr headcanons #taleblr #taleblr pie

[bisluthq]

I'm just going off Wiki here so forgive me if I'm wrong but... isn't Karlie's dad a doctor? And didn't she grow up in Chicago? Not exactly "a trash family in buttfuck nowhere"

No, she grew up in suburban St Louis. Her father is indeed a doctor but he is extremely bad at financial planning and like was in huge debt and has endless children and looks like this in a pic he let go to print so idk dude you tell me if this is a man who gives you respectable vibes in literally any way:

He also shamed himself (and Jared mostly but like himself because what the fuck) on the international stage by CROWDSOURCING PANDEMIC SOLUTIONS ON FACEBOOK.

They are 100% a trashy ass family from buttfuck nowhere.

Charlie has his own problems - chief amongst them is that he’s extremely fucking evil - but like he’s presentable and eloquent and doesn’t wish porn bots happy birthday and didn’t ask what a Kate Moss is at a fashion shoot for his daughter he then tbh milked for cash and doesn’t follow an account called bbykurtdilf which was set up to make fun of him.

They’re very wholesome though and I think Josh loved that they’re functional and loving which his own family really fucking isn’t.

Like Kurt doesn’t know what Armani is but he loves his kids and Charlie knows about Armani but told Josh he’d fail at business 🤷🏻‍♀️

#nat talks the klosses

[matteblacklips]

may updates i

Disclaimer: I would like to begin this email thread by saying if you didn’t want to receive emails from me you shouldn’t have given me your email to begin with.

Joke of the chain: What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!

Hello all, 

Not much has happened in the last few weeks since the last email but congratulations to everyone finishing their rotations, didactic, first year, fifth year, etc. Big things are coming for us and I'm so excited to graduate with all my best friends (part two!). Honorable mentions; Kaleigh, Nidhi, Nam, Tracy, Mina, Fiona, Foram. This is a huge step for us & I'm so proud of you all.

Krystyll’s birthday was this past Saturday and it was at SPIN in Seaport. It was super cool and the vibes were phenomenal. I really love hanging out with her and she just gives me such good vibes. I love being friends with her because we always support each other and show up and that’s so important. My dad, being the comedian he is, finds different ways to bother me daily. Today, he decided to park my car .5 miles away in front of my neighbors house and have me move it. This is slightly better than when he wakes me up at 7 in the morning by singing in front of my room. Such a silly goose!

I've had family visits every week for the past few weeks, Darsh visited this week. I find it sweet that every single time we're together, we sit and talk for ten minutes and then go on and do work or school. Last time I saw him he drove me to Oktoberfest where I proceeded to get shwastey to pregame Shivani's birthday.

Birthday's to look out for: Alisha, May 10, Thomas, May 16, Mina, May 18, Allen, Alex, May 23, May 24 Nam, May 30th

That being said, I think I have an idea for my birthday! I’m not exactly sure I want to celebrate because I’ve been in a funk. But I’m thinking about doing a early evening karaoke in Allston and then hitting the town. The Karaoke place is 200/hr for 18 ppl so 11 per person per hour if I go which isn’t bad at all or 300/he for 30 ppl so based on everyone’s schedules I think I might book it for the 3rd or 4th. And then we go to the bar.  

Pop culture Update: We have yet to hear about TS10 or any new rerecordings, which is so sus considering we got two albums every year for the last two years. My Lover Valentine's Day Edition vinyl has not come in yet which is absolute bs, hopefully it's here by my birthday because I will absolutely be listening to Taylor all day.

Job Update: Still applying, rejected an offer the other day, but we move on. I have a few more interviews and calls coming this week but I’m officially ready to relax a bit. No point in crying and stressing. I’m officially graduating! All the pain and suffering from this last couple weeks finally paid off. Boy Update: Huge update, I realized I was ready to date again after my single no-boy year, that being said, I downloaded two dating apps and deleted them so quickly because why are people just not it? Mid men everywhere. One day soon I will try again, just not today. One of the men that liked me on a dating app is a QA Manager, can I ignore the "Will you marry me?" and ask if he can get me a job:) Arjav update as promised, nothing's changed, still a jackass sometimes but its not worth talking to him if he's not putting in the effort so I'm working on detatching cause fuck that. I admire his work ethic but it is ridiculous. Speaking from experience, having two workaholics in my life has actually been the biggest inconvenience. I deserve to be loved and cherished, not cast aside like a suburban housewife.

Alisha Update: She's in Austin TX. I am also in "Austin" if anyone asks.

Availability this week: Not available Monday, should be available this coming weekend though. Might have a last minute trip planned for a special person's birthday.

Best,

Shefali Patel

Follow up questions: Anyone else super excited for Boston summer? I can smell Cisco already.

Anyone know what I should do for my birthday? At this point I might stay at home and cry, you all are welcome to join me, the address is 19 Twin Brook Ln...bring your own tissues, we only have paper towels.

Keep in mind you would be responding to the chain so don’t blow my spot if you can help it. I would really appreciate keeping my dignity if I could.

What to expect: weekly to biweekly emails regarding things that matter to me including but not limited to bad jokes, an update on plans, current events, and my personal favorite new recipes and places to check out!

#shefalipatel_ on ig

[a7estrellas]

a LOOK ™️

PEDRO PASCAL during The Great Wall press tour in Beijing 

#pedro pascal #the great wall press #pedropascaledit #ppascaledit #a look! #usermagsam #userzania #this look is giving me suburban dad vibes #he cute

[alexjcrowley]

Okay, but

Mobius M. "Moby" Mobius (it's the m alliteration for me), if you didn't know the actual bastard vibes he gives off, would totally look like Your Typical Suburban Dad.

Let's imagine for a minute Loki bringing Mobius to Asgard, making Mobius meet his parents, and while Odin is asking who the hell is that man and what is he doing there, Mobius is just standing there, hands on his hips, looking around in the middle of the throne room not even paying attention to Odin, going "NICE PLACE YOU HAVE HERE, PAL."

That's it, that's the post, Mobius acting like a Suburban Dad and playing dumb just because it terribly annoys Loki (since Loki knows Mobius is smarter than that, it's just that Moby, being the little shit he is, likes to tease).

#HEY YOU COULD MAKE KICKASS BARBECUE IN THIS BACKYARD #THAT IS THE ROYAL GARDEN YOU IDIOT #lokius #loki laufeyson #loki series #loki 2021 #loki tv show #loki disney+ #wowki #mobius #mobius m mobius #he does look like a subrban dad though #headcanon #marvel #owen wilson ad mobius has my heart #Loki is so done #loki #loki x mobius #the avengers #loki2021

[miekasa]

AOT characters x their partner on social media is something I love thinking about omg. Eren is the number 1 menace, I swear, he likes keeping an aesthetic and he wants your face on his profile, and he wants to be in yours, and he will brainstorm for cool captions for you both 😭 Jean acts all shy, but that tall mf also lowkey feels the same way as Eren 😭. Mikasa is very relaxed and cute about it, she’s so effortless when it comes posting you on her feed, same with Sasha probably. Connie would post your funny faces 100% while Armin….blonde coconut I feel would be shy at first but is a fan of couple-y posts. Same with Erwin, and Erwin would add the cheesiest suburban dad captions like “my better half” or shit like “forever yours” 😭🥴😭 Hange is just all over, like they’ll be super unpredictable, from wildly funny to very touching stuff. Pick is just sweetness!! All around sweetness that can make you melt. Porco would be…actually I’m not sure, he seems like he’s in line with Eren and Jean 😭 Meanwhile, Levi would not care at all about social media announcements and “instagram official” and people outside his close circles find out about his partner on their tenth-year anniversary because they bumped into you both while you were out on a date 😭😭

No because you hit the nail on the head here anon!!

Eren and Connie are fiends and almost shameless in how much they want to be on your socials. If you do the thing where you record your food when you’re out to eat with Eren, he’ll interject into your video—“And me! She’s with me!! Show me!!” After some time—or if you tease him by purposefully leaving him out of the frame—he’ll just snatch your phone when you’re recording or taking pictures and makes sure to get himself with the front camera 😭😭 oh and you will be on his, it comes with the price of dating him, he loves posting videos that gradually zoom in on your face before you notice he’s recording.

Connie just photobombs everything. Even if just his eyebrows make in the frame, you better post it. He’s watching you. He loves taking funny selfies and posting them with absolutely no context, and videos too!! He reminds me of that TikTok of the guy who pans the camera to his gf laying in the grass is like, “We had a beach date, and, yeah I love her,” and pans the camera to his face, “I’m faster than her tho. We raced. But yeah, love her.”

Jean pretends like he doesn’t care if you don’t post him, but he cares 😭😭 he’s always willing to take a photo for you, but he wants to take them with you too!! He’ll not so subtly be like, “Hey, did you post those pics from the other day?” as a gentle “reminder,” and he’s honestly so cute you gotta give into him. He likes posting pics with you too, and claims he’s gotta keep it updated so he’s got something to show his mom—“She’ll think I’m making you up if I don’t have proof, babe.”

Armin gets nervous about posting you at first—the whole being publicly affectionate thing, plus the internet is forever, you know. But once he sees that he doesn’t necessarily have to post you guys holding hands or kissing all the time, he relaxes. Just a picture together, or a picture of you from one of your dates every once in a while is cool with him. He takes good candids and they’re his favorite to edit and make all pretty. He gets surprised whenever you post him, and he’s honestly not checking for it/on social media all that often, so he finds out through a friend like Sasha who’s bubbling, “Armin you guys are gonna make me jealous!! Your beach dates look so cute!!” And Armin’s a little confused, until she adds, “I saw the pictures on Insta!!” And now he’s slightly pink in the face.

Porco is… more likely than not recording you innocently vibing or minding your own business before he comes to bother you bye. He thinks your surprised face is so fucking funny and needs several video evidences of it. He gets grumpy when you get an off-guard of him, but just show it to him after and suddenly he’s like, “I look pretty good there, actually,” like yeah, dumbass, that was the point 🙄🙄 he posts his shit on Twitter tho, and is always acting like he doesn’t know you—“Girlfriend for sale, willing to trade for Breath of the Wild. At least $30 cash otherwise,” and thinks it’s funny when you threaten to block him. Or he’s subtweeting you when you CLEARLY follow him: “Anybody else know someone who falls asleep 30 mins into a drive?? No?? Just me??”

Erwin and his captions anon please I’m hollering. You know he uses the filters embedded into Instagram, too, and it makes some pics come out grainy/more dull. He comes questioning Hange with genuine curiosity, “How come your photos look so… bright? How do I do that?” Sir, open up VSCO and free yourself from the shackles of Sepia.

Levi could not care less about what and how much you post of him on social media, and his own is so scarcely updated; he really just has it so he’s not a complete ghost to the world, and to occasionally cure a fit of boredom. The pictures he posts are always nice tho, simple, cleanly edited and shot, and sometimes he’s not even in them. He doesn’t mind if you post him or not, but every once in a while he’ll stop by with a simple heart emoji in the comments. (To which Hange absolutely loses their shit every time and loves to joke about, “omgggggg are you and @leviackerman official???? 🤪🤪🤪)

Hange is the undisputed champion of photodumps and you cannot prove me wrong. Above all, they love posting a series of chaotic photos that tell a story—three slides dedicated to photos that caught you falling down; several photos back to back of you stuffing your face with food; frames of the both of you posing for a photo with the front timer but of course something made them topple over you. Their captions don’t help either, almost always unrelated from the disaster that just unfolded. Could have posted a photo dump of you two skipping (and falling) at the park and the caption is like “fun fact: a cockroach can survive up to five weeks with its head cut off!!” (The disconnect between the pics and captions always confuses Erwin. @e.smith: Very cool! But, what do roaches have to do with you guys looking like you broke your ankles? PS—is everybody okay?)

Mikasa is relaxed about posting you, and she lowkey really likes to be posted on your socials. She doesn’t say much about it, but she likes going back through your profile and looking and what you posted, and the comments from your guys’ friends being supportive. The pictures don’t necessarily spell out that you guys are Together, but that’s okay with her; she doesn’t need four pics of you guys kissing on her timeline to make her happy. She has lots of pictures she doesn’t post tho and you’d be shocked to find them, you gotta hype her up a bit to post them, “Mika you look hot here!!! The people need to see!!! Feed them!!!”

It comes naturally to Sasha, too. She likes documenting your dates with pictures and videos and has a blast editing them afterwards, too. Just AirDrop her the pictures you took and she’ll fix them up for both of you to post later. She’s a fan of silly matching captions and is always in your comments with a million emojis.

Pieck absolutely the sweetest girl. Her whole feed manages to naturally come out in soft filters and pastel colors. She always tells you she doesn’t have to edit a thing when you’re in the picture. Definitely posts photo dumps that include pics of food, sunrises, her cats, and a few off-guards of you thrown in there. Abuses the bugs and sparkly emojis in the captions.

Annie literally posts one pic a few months (by a few months, I mean like 11 months) into your relationship with the simple and upfront caption: “This is my girlfriend” and everyone is in the comments immediately bye. Berty is acting super surprised even tho he basically set you guys up, somehow Reiner genuinely didn’t know, and Sasha is clowning him for not catching on, and then he’s like “wait since when????? i thought they were just really good friends????” Mikasa comments a singular scissor emoji and it sends everyone into orbit, even Annie likes the comment.

#anonymous #annie and mikasa having this weird friendly but teasing but blunt dynamic on social media is the reason i’m still here #every once in a while annie comments on mikasa photos wirh something obvious like ‘your hair is getting longer.’ #and mika is like ‘yeah i know i’m growing it myself thanks annie’ #they’re so fucking funny bye #aot x reader #minicanons

[sazc94]

The Three Times James "Bucky" Barnes Broke your heart.

This was inspired by @msmarvelwrites 2k Writing Challenge because I'm a sucker for Taylor Swift especially sad Taylor Vibes. I chose the all too well lyrics.

Apparently, I can't do anything small so it's in two parts. Pairs Bucky x Reader and Pietro x Reader. (Not at the same time)

Part 1 Here

No smut but mentions of sex so 18+ Themes: highschool, cheating, college/uni. Friendship

Words 3368 it's Suburban AU.

2015 You finished up Uni staring in the school's production of Rock of Ages, Playing Sherry opposite Loki’s drew. Loki also moved to New York staying with his half brother Thor Oddinson. You stayed in touch with Loki and Pietro. The thing that took you by surprise however was six months after moving to Detroit, whilst working for Bruce Banner's start-up you received a DM on Instagram from Bucky. He heard from Sam and Jane that you were now living in Detroit and he was moving to the area after being scouted by the Detroit Lions. Hey Y/N, I hope you’re good. I know this is random and please feel free to tell me where to go, but I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime? It would be great to see you again and catch up. Let me know. So you replied feeling like maybe after all this time it might be good to finally hear Bucky’s apology. Pietro and you had stayed in touch but you knew he was dating someone else. Her name was Sue Storm, she seemed like a nice girl, very smart and could easily give Pietro a run for his money. After hearing Bucky’s apology, you two started to become friends again, he invited you along to his games always offering to secure you two tickets if you wanted to bring someone. He was a machine on the football field, earning the strange nickname The Winter Soldier.

2016

Everything changed in the summer of 2016 though when Bucky’s mother passed away suddenly in June. She had practically helped raise you, so you attended the funeral with Bucky. You stayed with him in the guest room in his childhood house, helping him sort through belongings and paperwork. Bucky’s dad had died when you were 8 and Bucky like you was an only child. You took in food from neighbours wanting to pay their respects. You held his hand squeezing it in comfort during the funeral, assuring him you were there for him. Two days after the funeral you and Bucky had finished packing up the final boxes, you were upstairs, and he was downstairs being awfully quiet. You went looking for him only to find him sat on the living room floor. He was crying holding a picture of you and him one Halloween when you were 9, Bucky had gone as Superman and you as Supergirl. Your mums stood behind you, both of them chuckling whilst you and bucky tried to out pose one another. Your heart swelled. Your Grandad had died in November and god how your heart had ached, but to lose your mum, you couldn’t even begin to imagine. “Hey, hey. It's alright I’m here Buck”, you said cradling his head to your chest whilst he sobbed. You stayed like that for an unidentifiable amount of time before Bucky’s crying eased. He looked up at you blinking away the stray tears, the familiar blue in his eyes pulling you in. Your not sure who kissed who first but that was how you and Bucky ended up sleeping together.

You and Bucky officially got back together in July. Your Grandma passed away in September, the start of football season. Bucky was unable to attend the funeral, he tried god he tried. Pietro made it though. He and Sue had broken up not that he told you. By the time November rolled around things were good between you and Bucky. Wanda’s fashion label Scarlett Witch was taking off and she invited you and Bucky out to join the rest of the old gang at the official launch in December of 2016. You accepted and for the pair of you assuring Bucky, there would be no awkwardness. Pietro was casually dating and was bringing a date called Crystal.

You arrived at the party in NYC completely blown away. Wanda had asked you to wear a piece from the evening wear collection, a Black strapless dress, the top if form-fitting made from chiffon fabric, the skirt cut out the front made of black tulle sparkled with the touches of glitter. It felt like you were wearing the Milky Way. After stopping to pose for photos for the press you made your way inside. The party was being held inside a beautiful gothic building. “Y/n! You look absolutely amazing, thank you so much for wearing this and of course for coming” Wanda practically pounced on you the minute she spotted you. “Bunny! I agree absolutely amazing. Bucky, you don’t look too bad yourself” Pietro said kissing you on the cheek. Pietro was wearing a deep blue suit, it made his hair and ice-blue eyes pop. Bucky had opted for the simple black tux to match you and your dress. He almost looked good enough to eat. After grabbing a glass of champagne, Wanda and Pietro took you to the rest of the gang who had made it. Jane was here with a date, Thor Oddinson you recognised him from the few times he had been to see you and Loki in shows. Carol was here too. Peter Parker was working the event as a photographer he had brought a date a lovely young lady called Mary Jane Watson. After about 45 minutes of schmoozing and catching up, you went to the ladies room. When you exited you were a little taken aback by the sight that confronted you, a redhead was hanging of Bucky’s arm chuckling away with Thor and Jane. You could only see the back of her from where you were standing. You decided to walk over and introduce yourself. However, when you got closer to the group the woman started to look vaguely familiar.

“Hey babe,” Bucky said as you approached quickly removing his arm from the redhead. Babe. That was weird he never called you babe. His blue eyes looked like they were hiding something. “Lady Y/N. This is Lady Natasha” Thor said introducing you. The redhead turned to shake your hand smiling at you with a knowing look. “Lovely to finally meet the infamous Y/N,” she said. “I told Bucky how disappointed I was not to meet you when I was in the City in September. I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. Bucky kept me company whilst I was around on some Business” her voice sounded harmless, sweet and pleasant. Genuine. Her eyes and knowing smirk told a different story. Bucky looked at you, the familiar betrayal in his eyes, pleading with you. “I was just telling Bucky, I’ve been offered this amazing opportunity in Detroit so Ill be moving there in February, isn’t that wonderful?” she asked. You smiled taking a swig of your champagne. Jane looked at you, then Bucky. You shook your head.

That was the second time Bucky Barnes broke your heart. He assured you that they hadn’t slept together, however had admitted that he had kept her visit from you and that she had kissed him. “Did you kiss her back?” you asked pacing around your hotel room. “Doll, please what does it matter,” he asked reaching out for you. His calloused hands once again burning your skin with his betrayal. The fact he had chosen not to answer was all the confirmation you needed. You had left him in the hotel room. Loki had been unable to make the event due to being in a small play off-Broadway, but you had texted him asking if he wanted to get a drink. You had told him everything and he had walked you back to your hotel room. You were drunk and distressed. Bucky had opened the door his blue eyes flashing with jealousy when the handsome black-haired gentleman had his arms around you. “Easy James, if anything was going to have happened between us, it would have happened in freshman year of college,” Loki said helping you into your room. After you and Bucky returned to Detroit you guys took a break for a few months.

2017

Natasha’s job conveniently happened to be working as a fitness instructor at the Detroit Lions. After 4 months you and Bucky got back together in March of 2017. Things were going great, Natasha seemed to have released whatever hold she had on Bucky. Bucky was performing well with the Lions, his new teammate, Steve Rogers nicknamed Captain America seemed to have caught the eye of many ladies including Natasha. He however didn’t seem that interested in her and had his sights set on a girl from his home in Brooklyn her name was Peggy. Steve and you hit off due to your mutual disinterest in Miss Romanoff, he had come up with a nickname for her, he called her Black Widow because she seemed to devour the men in her life. Banners start-up tech company had taken off with thanks to your ad campaigns. You were also performing in the local summer show of Mamma Mia playing Sophie. In the summer of 17, Peggy Carter came to visit Steve, turned out she was from Britain originally. You liked Peggy and her no-nonsense approach. During July, the four of you went on lots of double dates like you were high schoolers again. For Steve’s birthday which happened to be the fourth of July, the four of you attended an event being put on by the Detroit lions. You had a great evening mixing with various teammates and their families. You even warmed to Natasha a bit that afternoon.

As the evening rolled around a giant cake was brought out to celebrate Steve’s birthday. Followed by a firework show. Everyone made their way to various blankets and cushions set out at the opposite end of the stadium. Somewhere along the way you and Bucky got separated. You didn’t worry too much, to begin with as you’d both drifted off to interact with various people throughout the event, however by the time the fireworks started Bucky was nowhere to be seen. You started to think the worst until you spotted Natasha’s red hair on the other side of the stadium flirting with a gaggle of players from various other teams who were invited. Confident Bucky would return shortly you turned your attention to the sky watching with a goofy grin, things were finally settled between you and Bucky. As the fireworks went on you decided to snap a few shots on your phone loving the way the sky lit up with bright colours. The Detroit Lions didn’t do things in small doses, so the firework display ended up going on for about an hour and a half. After about 45 minutes Bucky returned from wherever he had been slipping down behind you pulling your back flush to his chest. He stroked small circles on your arms. His rough calloused skin making you shiver from the contact.

In September you were approached by Tony Stark’s PA Pepper Potts, they had seen your campaigns for Bruce Banner and Tony was interested in headhunting you. Your contract with Bruce was up in October. You initially shot the idea down. Why would you want to leave Michigan? Your family home was a short 20-minute drive away, Bucky was doing well with the Lions. Peggy Carter was moving here after Steve had proposed at the end of Summer. It seemed ludicrous. After initially shooting down the offer. Pepper contacted you, doubling their initial offer. The offer was tempting, so you told Miss Potts you would think it over the weekend. There was no harm in bringing it up with Bucky, maybe a move would do you both good, Natasha seemed to have gotten under Bucky’s skin again. You left the office early that day. You didn’t bother to text Bucky figuring you could surprise him when he got home from training with a home-cooked meal. You stopped off to get some supplies to make Lasagne before heading over to his apartment figuring you could just let yourself in. You had called Wanda on the drive over through your cars Bluetooth. She and Vision were engaged, and she wanted you to be one of her bridesmaids. Partway through the call, Pietro had walked into Wanda’s office so you had told them both about the job offer. When you got to Bucky’s you immediately recognised the Black Widows black Mercedes. “huh, that’s weird, I wonder what she’s doing here,” you said out loud “who’s where?” asked Wanda. “oh um nothing, look I got to go I just got to Buck’s and I’m cooking dinner, going to talk to him about Tony’s offer,” you said before hanging up. You were so blind-sighted by Natasha’s car you didn’t clock Bucky’s Motorcycle parked in the corner of the small parking lot. You grabbed your bags walking up to Bucky’s figuring that you could invite Natasha in if need be whilst you waited for Buck to come home.

If you had noticed Bucky’s bike, then just maybe you would have been more prepared for the following events you unlocked Bucky’s apartment and you found clothes strewn everywhere, his jeans. A white Blouse. His boxer trunks. A Black lacy bra, that definitely didn’t belong to you. At first, you were so shocked by what you saw that you didn’t hear the moans coming from the bedroom. It was like you were possessed you carried your bag of groceries as you walked in a daze to the bedroom, you opened the door and found Bucky once again cheating on you. He and Natasha were in the throws of fucking each other, you found Natasha with her back to you, wrapped around Bucky’s waist. Bucky sat upright facing you however his eyes closed whilst he drank in the pleasure. You felt your heartbreak as you dropped your bag of groceries. The bag made a thud as it hit the ground, alerting Bucky to your presence. His eyes flew open connecting with yours. Natasha however didn’t stop riding your boyfriend’s cock. Bucky tried to push her off him, but you were already storming out the door. You grabbed your bag and left Bucky’s spare key in the door. Bucky grabbed a pair of joggers and slippers before chasing after you. Bucky’s apartment was on the second floor. All the apartments on the second floor opened outside to a walkway.

“Really James?!?” you turned round to face him before he could even say your name. “Was once not enough? Did you not hurt me enough the first time?” You asked. You could feel the anger threatening to burst in the way of tears. Bucky went to speak, his blue eyes once again filled with guilt. “How long?!” you asked quietly. Bucky moved towards you tugging on your wrist. “Come on Y/N, come back inside it’s starting to rain, we can discuss this inside,” he said, his eyes pleading with you. At that moment Natasha appeared in Bucky’s open doorway. She looked pleased with herself, wearing Buck’s shirt. The site made you want to vomit. “How. Long?!” you asked again through gritted teeth. Bucky faltered. “Since July. Since the 4th of July event,” he admitted rubbing his hand over his face. At that moment you felt completely and utterly broken. “I’m done, James. Do you hear me? I am done. We are through. You two.” You pointed to Natasha. “You two are welcome to one another”. That was the third time Bucky broke your heart.

You took the job working for Stark Industries. Your contract had ended with Bruce but your lease on your apartment was up until January so you stayed working for him until December of 2017 You said your goodbyes to Steve and Peggy in January and moved across the country to your new life in the big apple.

December 2018

The unknown number flashed up on your phone for the third time that day. You sighed before answering it. “Hello, Y/N Speaking how can I help?” you asked fiddling with your jumper. “Hey Doll, it's me. Don’t hang up.” Your breath caught in your throat. James Buchanan Barnes. You hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. He hadn’t even attempted to reach out to you after you split up mailing your things back to you, well all but a scarf. In January shortly before you’d moved to NYC you’d seen a magazine article saying the Winter Soldier was dating Natasha Romanoff. It confirmed what you already knew deep down, which was that you might be okay but you were not fine at all.

You’d worked so hard to forget about him long enough to forget why you needed to. He had better have a damn good reason for calling you. “You have 5 minutes,” You said getting up from the sofa you were sat on. “look, I know I fucked up with you. In more than one way on more than one occasion. I think it was the pressure to be the perfect couple, you know lifelong friends to more. And well I guess I just freaked out, and then I fell for her, but she didn’t want me, and when you gave us another shot, I thought I could convince myself to love you the way I did her, the way you had loved me. But truth be told, it was always Natasha after that summer. I know you deserve better, and I truly am sorry for hurting your doll. But I wanted you to hear it from me before you read about it in the news. She’s pregnant and also, we’re getting married.” Bucky said. You stood in the middle of the apartment stunned. “So, you call me up again, just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest?” you whispered. Squeezing back the tears. “Well fuck you, James.” With that, you hung up. Of course, Bucky tried to ring right back, you declined the call, falling to your knees in pain. You had never asked for any of this, you had been quite happy being Bucky’s best girl as his friend. He was the one who kissed you at that prom.

You weren’t still in love with Bucky, you had moved on, forgetting about him and the pain he caused you. He hadn’t needed to call you, he could have given you a heads up through one of your mutual friends, but no. he had to go and stick the knife in. After lying there like a crumpled-up piece of paper and letting the tears fall. You picked yourself up. You washed your face and made yourself a mug of hot chocolate grabbing a Christmas cookie from the tin before making your way over to the bay window. You sat down taking in the view. The traffic had eased off a bit as things wound down for the evening. The snow had been falling pretty much all day. After about 15 minutes of sitting peacefully the key in the lock turned. You didn’t move you were incredibly content where you were, even if you could use a refill in the hot chocolate department.

“Hey handsome how was your day?” you asked not taking your eyes away from the street below. A group of kids were throwing snowballs at one another. You smiled to yourself enjoying their innocence. “It was good, busy” he replied taking off his coat and walking over to join you at the window seat. Wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. “How about you Bunny? I saw a news alert. I’m guessing you know about the engagement?” he asked. You hummed a response. Before shuffling yourself around to face him. His floppy silver-blonde hair covering those beautiful ice blue eyes, they looked at you with such love and endearment, they also spoke a silent promise that he would never hurt you the way that Bucky had. You kissed him gently on the lips before standing up. “Come on Quicksilver let's shower before the Stark Christmas Gala,” you said pulling your boyfriend along behind you shooting him a knowing grin. His nickname may be Quicksilver for athletic reasons but there were some things he liked to take his time with.

A/N If you stuck with me through all this, I am truly sorry. I'm gonna go cry

Tagging the bestie @lannycleave

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