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httpsserene · 6 months

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ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʀᴛᴜᴀʟ ʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴏᴛᴄᴀᴍᴘ ᴡ/ᴍᴠ33

📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you start showing interest in sim racing. max's only option is to turn you into the best virtual-racer there ever was--well besides himself, of course. 📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: fluff. brain vomit. formatting (done on mobile💀). tiniest explicit reference. not edited. 📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k words 📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: max verstappen x fem!black!reader 📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: headcanons & smau 📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: word on the streets • key glock

ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: thought about this the whole time i was working. and then some man had the exact same voice as max and i genuinely almost dissolved into thin air because i felt like max was punishing me for thinking about this on the clock :) anyways, hope u enjoy the brainrot, loves !!!

wanna be on my taglist ? send me an ask !

and yes, i did make a masterlist !

*whispers* next f1 kinktober fic this weekend

you were probably unaware that sim racing was even a thing until you started dating max

like you’ve seen the funny little twitch clips of people playing driving simulators and being absolute menaces on the road, but you never knew actual virtual racing was a thing

anyways, whether or not you consider yourself a gamer in this scenario, you’ve always been pretty down to play videogames with max.

he absolutely annihilates you in FIFA, and no matter how much he tries to help you, you’re a lost cause

in return, you embarrass him in COD; he should’ve looked at your kd-ratio before he tried to play with you

but, sim racing 🧐

i mean, like, you never even fully considered that you could sim race at all, like not for leisure at least

max takes that shit seriously, he’s a part-time f1 driver full time simracing twitch streamer 😤

you are always around watching him practice on the sim, playing the f1 games, and even tuning in for his iracing competitions

at first, whenever max would stream you would probably be doing other things with your time

your hair, cleaning, self-care, cooking, etc.

eventually, you started migrating to sitting on the couch off-camera and watching him drive irl instead of having the stream on in the background

you were originally like, “oh it’s just because i wanna drool over his massive veiny hands” 🤤

but now it’s like “oh i wonder what each button he presses with his nicely proportioned fingers on the steering wheel does?”

and slowly it transforms from “wow my boyfriend is so cool” to “wait…this sim-racing thing is kinda cool”😵‍💫

now imagine you being like “lol wait a minute now” and being like i'm only interested in because my boyfriend loves it 🤥

in order to disprove this theory you start to ask max questions about virtual racing

not that you wouldn’t before, but they were fairly surface level; now you’re asking him about tactics, strategies, and track conditions etc.

and max is fucking thrilled 🫨🫨🫨 !!!

he eagerly answers all your questions (maxplaning 🥱), going way more into depth than you were expecting, but what did you think was going to happen

max is always happy to ramble about any small facet of virtual racing (doesn’t matter if it’s the sim, or iracing, or f1 2023) but

it makes him really pleased that you’re showing a genuine interest in it because most people don’t

you support him in anything he wants to do wholeheartedly, and listening and answering your well thought out questions has him falling head over heels for you again

so, he thinks nothing of it other than you being the best girlfriend he’s ever had and trying to learn more about what he loves

his previous girlfriends didn’t really care to understand how important vr racing was to him

they all just saw it as him playing a “game” and him wasting time when they could’ve been on dates or smth

anyways

everything is going fine and dandier, max continues to answer all of your vr racing questions, and you continue to watch him pilot the sim

until, he catches you watching a beginner’s guide on f1 2023 and get’s so jealous 😒

bro is all like “wtf, you’re watching some lame ass unranked gamer when i’m your professional driver boyfriend who does this for a living?? hell nah if you want to start playing i’ll teach you”

you’re just like, “nahhhh….i don’t want to waste your time trying to teach me, it’s not worth it. i’m not even a good driver irl, so—“

max shuts that down expeditiously

if his girlfriend wants to start vr racing, he only has one option

make you the best virtual racer there ever was (excluding him)

you’re wide-eyed like, “i just wanna go vroom vroom in circles for fun 😭”

max deathly serious, “that was never an option”

he enlists you in his virtual-racing training camp

if you are aware of the disney rapid training montage where the mc sings one song and suddenly they’re the best fighter ever, that’s how i imagined it

mulan, for example, i’ll make a man out of you

max reveals his inner george russell, he becomes a power point king

instead of date nights being cute pottery classes—they turn into him teaching you the parts of the car, the buttons on the wheel, f1 2023 settings breakdowns, reviewing iracing competitions etc.

eventually max finally allows you to play on the sim after he thinks you’ve got the theory down pretty good

you suck at first 🤗

but then you start clocking in some hours

after work, during your “lunch break”, using the sim while max is gone and playing during all the practice and media sessions

whenever max is gone, and you have any questions or ask for feedback on how to get better, you text him all about it, of course not expecting an immediate response back

max has told you before that he likes getting out of the car after a practice session and checking his phone to see all the missed messages from you with some wishing him luck and the others asking for his thoughts on your strategies

one day, he’s going for lunch with some of the other drivers and they start to make fun of him for how he’s stuck in his phone, heart-eyes and all as he rapidly texts you

they probably think that you’re sending him cute texts or photos like that one time they caught him looking at photos of you and learned he had a locked photo album of you on his phone ☠️

max remains unbothered under their teasing thinking, “they don’t know my gf can out pace them by .200 in f1 2023”

max even personally bothers christian into getting him another sim for you

christian is so tired of you two, max won’t leave him ALONE

i think max would text his team principal screenshots of your lap times and make jokes about it

“if checo keeps dnf-ing, my gf can fill in”

christian gets you the goddamn sim 😒

y’all procrastinate on building and calibrating it, max more so because it means his chair would stop smelling like you 🥺

you get it set up, but you still play on his sim every once in a while after he told you that because you’re a simp

he goes to stream one day, planning on practicing with the redline team for an upcoming iracing event

and the man almost BREAKS HIS LEGS trying to sit down because you forgot to move the chair back after you were done using it 😭😭

in between his groan of pain he let’s it slip “ow fuck, my girlfriend forgot to move the seat back after she was done”

chat goes ducking crazy

yooo, what? ur gf sim races???

is she good???

max is like “hell fucking yeah my girlfriend is great sim racer, she could replace one of the boys at redline if she wanted too!”

(team redline sweats anxiously, mics now suspiciously silent)

max continues, “well she is not as great as me, but she’s good i guess”

stream chat “they are going to have babies that completely dominate f1” “if their babies are born in the netherlands we will be stuck in purgatory cursed with hearing the dutch anthem forever”

max continues with his practice but everyone is begging to see you play, even some of the redline guys are asking questions

they wanna know if they’re really at risk of you stealing their seat

max gives up and turns to you on the couch with a smile and says, “i will beg, schatje. do not put it past me, we all want to see you drive. some people are saying i’m lying so you have to prove them wrong🙇🏼”

you’re like “what 😅 no 😧i suck 🤭 at this 🤗” but you’re already getting up and walking over to boot up your sim

the urge to flex on people and embarrass them is something both you and max share

max opens f1 2023 and starts a party for just you two, and you both decide to do quali laps at zandovoort

you do your hot lap first, and max goes after you

max y’ know, probably thinks that he can take it relatively easier on you, there’s no reason to put 100% effort into something for fun, so he puts in 95% 😀 (competitive boy)

and you know that one nepenthez meme

that’s how this goes

max is like, already rambling to the stream “yeah that’s a comfortable p1, she still has a lot to learn before she can beat a world champ—P2??!!!! 😧😳”

you’re just in the background in your sim chair, turned facing the camera with an innocent little smirk smile on your face ☺️

you got pole by .050, and chat starts bullying max, the redline boys laughing hysterically in his headphones

max requests a rematch and promptly annihilates you :)

i like to imagine that eventually you start joining max’s stream and the two of yous start having little racing tournaments whenever you guys have the time

omg could you imagine the little championship ceremony where you put party hats on jimmy and sassy and have fake little tiny gold trophies for whoever wins 🥹

imagine one day ‼️ you actually start doing iracing events, and just working your way up to being one of the best 😌

ANYWAYS to wrap it up, best teacher max ever

virtual racing 🤝 strong relationships

twitter • today

instagram

maxverstappen1 • 32 mins ago

liked by yninstagram, danielricciardo3, and 7,324,122 ofhers

maxverstappen1 the only woman for me 🧎🏼

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram baby. baby—😭😭😭😭

➥ maxverstappen1 i love you

➥ yninstagram what the fuck has gotten into you 😳 i love you, maxy 🫶🏽

user the way ‼️ he cradles ‼️ her head 😭😭

danielricciardo3 this genuinely the sappiest thing max has ever said

➥ maxverstappen1 do not worry daniel you are the only man for me

➥ user my therapist will be hearing about this

user the fact that max personally handmade that meme 💀

user never thought i’d see the day that max uses the kneeling emoji

➥ maxverstappen1 i’m on my knees for her more often than you think

➥ user alRIGHT go ahead and clock out for me 😒

➥ redbullracingf1 do you remember the media training we had two days ago, max?

taglist: @lorarri | @saintslewis | @cherry2stems | @sweetpiccolo-blog

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satoruzlove · 1 year

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hello! i recently found your account and i love every bits of stories you write! can i request something like atsumu, sakusa, and suna having an underground garage with over 12 cars or more? and their s/o jokingly claims that they love them only because of their money and cars? lol idk, you can decide about the other details. i would just love to read something like this. i hope you understand my messy and clumsy imagination :' )

i hope you have a good day/night! merry christmas also! 🥰❤️‍🔥

-🫧

I LITERALLY SAW THIS AND DIIIIEEED ANON CUS I RLY LIKE THIS IDEA, and THANK U MWAAAH IM SO GLAD U LIKE MY WRITING <333 HUGS & SUGAR COOKIES 4 U. i’m sorry about how fawking late this is & i rly hope u do like this- it took me a whole while to rly grasp what i wanted to do with this glorious prompt, i wrote a lot these past few days BUT WHATEVER HERE U ARE MY WONDERFUL BUBBLE ANON ( cute af choice btw)

LET ME RIDE ?

[k. sakusa , r. suna , a. miya ]

- suggestive at some parts , boys with cars, praising and touchiness ( kiyoomi ) , alcohol and FLIRTINGGG ( atsumu’s ), friends to lovers & lots of tension ( rintarou ) , also kiyoomi is called a sugar daddyLMAO but he isn’t i swear -

KIYOOMI SAKUSA ::

your boyfriend is meticulous in every aspect of his life. his looks, his health, his belongings- everything. from the way he keeps his clothing folded to how he cares for his multiple expensive , beautiful race cars. as a pro athlete it’s expected of him to have such things , but you’d never expect to see how he handles them with such care - almost as if they were people. he gets them serviced and checked every other month, and polishes the luxurious leather of the seats frequently. when you two were dating, he often picked you up from work in different cars each time - claiming to want to make you look like you were some kind of vip. although, whenever you requested to drive one of them, he’d give you a look. it’s not that he didn’t trust you, he just knew that you couldn’t drive for shit and there’s no way he letting you do trial and error on his multi million dollar mobile.

that’s how you got here ; standing beside him as he folds away some of his summer clothes and practically begging him to let you drive one of his babies. “i’ll even let you tell me how to drive, kiyo, you can be my instructor,” you whine softly. he muttered a ‘nope’ popping the ‘p’ to emphasise his adamancy on the topic. you tugged his shirt sleeve, nearly forcing his dark eyes onto you- before he even knew it, he was convinced. the thick lashes surrounding the swimming, sparkly pool of your irises bored up at him only interrupted momentarily by you blinking.kiyoomi’s eyebrows crunched , mimicking the way his heart squeezed in his chest, despite knowing you just wanted to use his car. he let out a loud, dramatic sigh before running a hand over his face. “fine, you can use one. i will be there, i will tell you what to do and i definitely will stop you if you screw up,okay?” your boyfriend bossed. you smiled up at him, “nono! you can just teach me yourself, i’ll pretend i don’t even have my license,” and when you saw the bored look on his face you added to your statement,” to y’know, ease your mind.”

kiyoomi poked his cheek with his tongue , only to stop a smile from forming on his face. “go get dressed into like,” he paused for a second, his tone questioning when he continued, “..driving clothes..?” and you laughed at that. happily you got dressed and headed to the lowest level of your two story house- the underground.as the sleek metal doors opened, multiple shiny, elegant cars came into view but kiyoomi made a beeline for one in particular. she was black, a two seater that had neon green highlights on her gorgeous sides. “ porshe 2022 911 gt3,” he muttered, slender fingers lightly brushing over the glossy hood. you gawk for a second, “ i have no idea what that is, but holy shit,” you mutter. he huffs a laugh before unlocking the machine.

you hop into the drivers seat, and kiyoomi stares you down. you nearly choke under his gaze , “ don’t tell me you changed your mind,” you challenge him. he laughs- heartily almost- until a smirk overcomes his pretty face. “ you said i could teach you, didn’t you? get up. you’re gonna be on my lap.” his tone is smooth, weight panging in your tummy as you process what he said. your hands hesitantly slide off the steering wheel, allowing him to get in. he adjusts his weight with his hips, hands resting on his upper thighs until he pats them. “ come,” he says, “ sit , we don’t have all day.”

you oblige, your own thighs caged by his as his hands find home on yours. he’s guiding them to the wheel, you observe. “ i’ll worry about clutch, acceleration and breaks. you just steer and change gears for me , okay?” you notice his tone is soft, gentle because of how close he is to your ear. his breath hovers right over the shell of your ear. you nod, and he turns the key in the ignition. little lights and buttons exert an array of colour- almost tempting you to press them. he revs the engine - a low, prolonged echo ringing throughout the underground garage and vibrating your intertwined forms. you close your eyes and soon you come to understand just why your boyfriend loves his cars.

“you know,” you mutter, head dropping onto his shoulder, “‘might steal this thing and flee the fuckin’ country. it feels so-,”,” freeing, huh?” he practically steals the words from your mouth. you nod, smiling breathlessly, “ exactly,” before continuing ,” maybe you being away so much isn’t that bad , considering how my friends think you’re my sugar daddy,” and your boyfriend scoffs. a thick, black brow raised,” atsumu was right, you really do want me for my money.” kiyoomi chuckles, earning another giggle from you. dreamily , you sigh, “ absolutely, you’re my lovely little sugar daddy,” kiyoomi’s body shakes with laughter and his dimples cave in- you swear you get butterflies every time they do.the warm up light on the car goes off and from that point , the drive was smooth sailing.

you didn’t go far , seeing as your house was quite far from anything else , you had a lot of room. you drove mainly around your area. you two had come to a park, very secluded and probably privately owned, and you parallel parked. kiyoomi’s lowered his head , muttering a ,” you’re really good at this, dunno why i was so worried. even i struggle to parallel park sometimes,” he admits shyly. you smile, but you don’t miss the way he gazes at you as your eyes train on the park just outside the window. as soon as your head turns, you’re met with kiyoomi. his lips on yours. your lover’s hand is on the back of your head- guiding you like he was as you drove- and his latter hand on your waist. for a moment he broke away, nose smushing against yours. “did so good for me today,” he muttered against you. you had no time to reply or even be surprised at his remark, as he dove in for another kiss. this one was hungrier, more passionate and less shy than before. of course, you followed the pace happily.

his lips left yours with a deep exhale , “ move to the passenger seat,” he instructed, “‘ wanna get us home real fast, gonna continue this in a more comfortable setting, yeah?” and as you moved, tumbling over the gear stick and quickly plopping yourself onto said seat, “gonna take my time with you, yn.” you heard from kiyoomi as he revved the car once more. you were definitely in for a ride.

SUNA RINTAROU ::

suna rintarou is your best friend. you’ve known eachother since child hood and have gone through absolute hell together. puberty, your first crushes, the trauma’s of young adulthood, dealing with the miya twins. you started liking him in middle school, only ever telling aran about it and swearing him to secrecy. you couldn’t tell if suna liked you, you knew that if he did feel the same he’d never tell you, because that’s how he was. any person he’s ever entertained had the same complaint , that he didn’t know how to express his feelings properly and they couldn’t take how badly he blows at communicating.

you don’t understand, and you could never ; because he knows how to communicate with you. you two have an inexplainable bond- and he doesn’t feel the suffocating, degrading feeling in his chest when he talks to you about how he feels. he trusts you with everything. he always has, he has no trouble telling you.

he trusts you with everything, except his cars. all 11 of them.

which is why you slapped his arm when he showed you his underground garage , claiming to ‘ wanna show you something really, really cool ’ he wasn’t lying. his black t shirt seemed to look godly under the stage lights of his garage, as he strolled next to you- taking in his collection and carefully watching your pupils blow in awe. “ you’re such a dick, rin,” you laugh, “ i can’t believe you kept this from me, knowing damn well i’d give my left tit to drive one of these” he snorts, head throwing back and eyes scrunching at your choice of words. he comes to a halt infront of a shimmery, matt- finished car. you eyes drag over the hood, the cat- like head lights and your eyes scrunch up in delight at the ‘ mommy’s boy’ sticker barely in sight. “ it’s a-“,” mclaren, 765lt right ?”

his moss green eyes betray the stoic look on his face. they widen, sparkling in amusement. “ i always forget that you have no friends and read all day,” he feigns a sugary sweet tone. you shove him by the hip, toddling over to the passenger seat. “stop being an ass and take me for a drive.” you sigh. rin tries to ignore how right it feels to have you in his passenger seat , the way his mind quickly flicks images of you two going out at odd hours for icecream, his hand in a wedding ring- your wedding ring- on the gear stick. “ rintarou, come back to earth!” you bark laughter, now infront of him. his eyes screw shut and widen, he hadn’t even realised that he zoned out. he’s looking down at you, eyebrows raised as he attempts to ease out of his daze.

“stop being so bossy, you little tree stump,” he mumbles, making his way to the driver’s side door. it slides open smoothly, and he practically jumps inside. as you do the same, a smell- his smell- envelopes you. old spice and a tinge of something sweet. you both reach for the radio at the same time, and as his hand makes contact with yours he nearly jumps away as if your hands were a burning hot coal. he clears his throat, starting the car and ignoring the furious flutter i the pit of his stomach. you connect your phone, skipping through your playlist. you finally choose a song, and rintarou swears he could fall over and giggle like a little girl at your choice.

“love you like a brother, treat you like a friend,

respect you like a lover, oh,oh,oh”

your best friend’s eyes flit over to yours, only for him to spot you lip syncing the words of the song. as he pulls out the drive way he imagines you- calling him your lover, holding him, kissing him, being his. he smiles softly when you turn to him, lip syncing the words with conviction. “ if you be the cash, i’ll be the rubber band,” you mumble along with the song, hands coming out to poke him to punctuate your words. he mirrors you, eyebrows lifting as he sings.”painter baby you could be the muse, im the reporter baby-,” you two look at eachother in unison, your hands finding his cheeks,” you could be the news,” and for a moment, he doesn’t realise that you’re holding him so sweetly.

when the chorus comes, you two sit in silence as he pulls over to a mcdonald’s drive through. it’s quiet,lights of the glowing sign washing you with hues of colour and making you look of another world. you turn to him, boredly saying, “ you’re not so bad if we get to do this ,” and he rolls his eyes. he clicks his tongue , “ you’re literally like inlove with me, shut up,” he jests. your eyes don’t move for a moment, neither does your body, until you mutter a ‘true’ and turn away like it’s nothing.

rintarou waits for you to make a joke- but you don’t.

his face is pink, your tone was so genuinely that he could believe what you said. that he could think you’re being serious. he sips his sprite, “ good.” he replies to you. whether you were kidding or not, it’s a safe response. you sit there in silence for hours, and for once, rintarou isn’t properly communicating with you ; because he values you too much. too much to lose you, too much to love you, because he doesn’t know how. he’ll take you for drives as much as you want- forever even- if it means he gets to keep you.

ATSUMU MIYA ::

you and your lover stumbled into his mansion, a heap of giggles and whiskey flavoured kisses. atsumu’s grip on your hips is hard, loving , equal parts stable as he ushers you down to his garage. the blond smiles at you, lovesick, “thank you for coming back with me, sweet cheeks,” he mumbles. you giggle, eyes shiny and doe like- not a single thought behind them- “ thank you for inviting me, tsumu,” you mewl in response. he grows tired of stumbling and picks you up, earning a girly giggle, and practically running down the stairs with you. “ tsumu!” you laugh heartily, tears in your eyes as he nearly falls but somehow manages to keep you off the ground. he gets up sloppily, converse squeaking against marble floors right before he enters the garage. the man puts you down, planting a disgustingly wet kiss on your cheek and rubbing it with his large, calloused thumb.

he spreads his beefy arms, “ welcome to my pride and joy,” he stumbles a bit, “ apart from you, and my dog, my babies of course” he smiles. your lips part in awe looking at them all, and he smirks with pride. you feel playful - “ glad i gave you a chance, babes, this is really impressive. might just marry you for all this,” you say. he raises his eyebrows, a smile on his face and the apples of his cheeks rising, closing the gap between you he gets so close that you smell your favorite champaigne on his breath. “well baby, if it’s the money you want i’ll give it you. cant say ‘no’ to the prettiest baby in the world, can i?” his eyes are glazed under the influence, but his tone sounds so kind. so tender with you. you knew that atsumu would put the ocean in the sky for you, but something about him saying made you fall for him again. your blond lover melts at the blush on your cheeks, and backs away again.

when he drags you to a car you pull him to a halt. “ tsum,” you say, “ we can’t drive- we had alcohol,” you say. atsumu laughs , grabbing your neck gently and placing yet another sloppy kiss on your cheek, “ i wanna make out with you in my car, honeybunch, not drive,” he slurs. he gets in the back seat,hauling you onto his thick thighs and kneading at your hips. “ so gorgeous, so handsome , so perfect for me,” he says in-between kisses placed lovingly on your puffy lips. “ my good baby, my baby.” he’s babbling, mindlessly saying whatever his heart desires, “ mine, mine, mine,” he continues, like a mantra , sacred and ancient- like the only thing that he knows.

he kisses your lips hungrily and squeezes your sides, as if to keep you and this moment in his grasp forever. the leather under you is hot with passion and affection, the most innocent lust he’s ever felt because you are worth everything. whether it’s all his money or his entire soul- he’d give it all to you.

brain went wOmp for sakusa’ s i’m not sureeee how i feel. also not proofread cus my phone is dying but i rly rly like atsumu’s like woah. tbh i’m JUST NOT SURE ABOJT KIYOOOOOOMIS AAAAAAA but this was fun af !!! kiss kiss fall inlove

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cosmal · 2 years

Text

I say it and I mean it | Eddie Munson

your love is scaring me / no one has ever cared for me as much as you do ── ( scary love )

note :: wrote this before bed when i found a neighbourhood lyric writing challenge and needed to get this idea out i’ve had for a moment. so it’s a little short i’m tired. i don’t like it that much but but you can have it lol.

summary :: eddie doesn’t know what it’s like to feel loved. when he does, it scares him.

tags :: gn!reader sad eddie, angst, quick editing because mobile writing.

“Eddie, baby.” You try to be gentle when you grip his jaw. It’s playful for the most of it, but if he doesn’t stop twitching you might grip harder. “Sit still.”

Eddie doesn’t reply, just hums. Fingers pressing cruelly into the dough of your thighs. Pointer finger slipping into the crease at their apex. He’s laying flat against your bed and you’re straddling his lap, leaning over him to do his eyeliner. You’ve always wanted to do it, and tonight he finally caved. Though, only after twenty minutes of your relentless prodding and your almost blackmailing.

“You look so, so pretty.” You smile, touching up a few last strokes. Other hand lightly scratching against the warming skin of his neck.

He looks distracted and even though his eyes are watery from staying open for longer than usual, you think he might cry. When you lean back to admire him for a moment, you watch him swallow and shake his head lightly. Blinking to either not ruin your work or keep the tears at bay.

“Almost done?” When his voice wavers, lilted at the end in a high pitch, you finally sit back on your haunches and look him over.

“You okay?” You frown, clicking the cap back on the black pencil, throwing it on your desk.

He turns, pressing his cheek into your pillow. His hair settled around his head in a halo. You always think he’s pretty, but when he’s all relaxed and comfortable around you, you think it’s even worse. He shakes his head and you want to scold him for smudging his makeup but you can’t pretend that it matters more than him crying under you.

You pull yourself off his lap and encourage him to sit up against your headboard, settling yourself to kneel between his legs. He lets the tears fall freely, but he doesn’t sob or whimper. Just let’s them roll down the hill of his cheeks, staring at you with big glassy eyes, and his bottom lip snagged between his teeth.

“Eddie.” You soothe, taking his hands and pulling them to your lap, your thumbs rubbing circles in the backs of them. He looks like he’s stopping himself from breathing so his tears don’t worsen, “C’mon, breathe baby. You’re scaring me.”

He lets out a quick, staggered breath. Hiccuping when he lets a sob fall past his lips. A sound that has you squeezing his hands harder, settling yourself almost into a panic.

When you sit for a moment, and his tears slow a little, he wipes at his nose and says, “Sorry. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I just,” He breathes, trying to calm himself to form a coherent sentence, “Just sometimes I forget how nice it feels to be told something and that person actually means it.”

You watch him, ignoring the pins and needles in your feet as he finds himself. Patient as ever for him like always. You’d always have time for him, you think.

“You just. You say these things. You say I’m pretty and you love me and I have to remind myself that you’re not lying.” He moves his hands to squeeze your thighs. Like he’s reminding himself that you actually are there, “That you’re not joking around. You’re not saying it because Jason Carver dared you to.”

You heart breaks. You think it actually shatters in your ribs and a twisting, horrible feeling erupts in your stomach. Your Eddie. Your precious, sweet Eddie.

“Oh, Eds.” You cup his face in your hands and your skin almost ignites over his warm cheeks. He pushes into your hold and you rub the wetness away from the darkening semi-circles under his eyes. Ignoring the ruined eyeliner. “It’s true. So, so true. I love you so much and I mean every word I tell you.”

“I know. Which is why I feel so scared sometimes.” He shuts his eyes for a moment and you press harder into him. “It’s scary when someone loves you like that. When no one has your entire life and then suddenly you’ve found someone who loves you so selfishly. It feels almost undeserved.”

“Eddie, you deserve nothing more than to be loved.” You encourage him to sit up and you crawl to sit behind him so he can rest against your chest. You wrap your arms around him and he goes almost boneless in your hold.

“I love you. You must know that.” You murmur against his temple, lips dragging against his skin.

“I do. No, I do.” He mumbles, head resting in the juncture of your neck. “It must be the same. How much I love you.”

“I think I love you just a little bit more.” You say, brushing the hair away from his sticky face and tucking it behind his ear.

He hums in disagreement, squeezing his arms around you like you’re his lifeline. His breathing shallows and his shoulders are no longer tense, and you also relax underneath him. The desk lamp casting a dim sheen of light against him, washing him in orange and dark shadows. You trace the line of his nose and then down under his jaw with a featherlight touch that you know will have him falling asleep in no time. He really is the prettiest boy you know and you love him so much it hurts sometimes.

“I love you like you wouldn’t believe.” You murmur when the silence is comfortable and cutting it feels almost wrong. But you have to make sure he knows.

He shuffles until he’s comfortable, leaving lazy kiss against your neck, “I think that’s the problem.”.

You frown, but not angry or upset. You’re almost confused. How could a boy – so sweet and kind, caring and gentle – so loveable, not know how easy and right it is to love him?

“Well, believe me. Please.”

He sniffles, “Do you believe me?” He looks up at you through hooded eyes and you kiss his forehead, “When I say it?”

“Do you mean it?” You don’t need an answer. You just need to prove a point. You think he knows that.

“Of course I do.” He says it like he’s never been more sure of anything in the world. You look at him and you think he understands now. How hard it is to prove to someone how much you love them without getting them to do it first.

“Then you must know that I do too.”

He smiles and closes his eyes. Almost asleep against your chest, finally in an acceptance.

You think you’ll never stop trying to show him how much he deserves love; how easy it is to love him. You also think it won’t take him that long to finally accept it.

You’re very convincing.

@theemunsons

#theemunsons.bdaywc #eddie munson brainrot #eddie brainrot #eddie munson headcannon #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson drabbles #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #eddie munson x m!reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x male reader

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shiftwithjane · 15 days

Text

okay so i finished my DR bedroom for my modern stranger things DR last night, but i went to the dentist yesterday, and was sore and tired from having some fillings being taken care of (still sore) so i didn’t feel like posting last night. so i’m gonna show you guys my bedroom, plus the connecting walk in closet and bathroom. again, i used the app room planner to do this, and it’s actually quite addicting once you start using it :)

QUICK DISCLAIMER:

all the band posters you are going to see in my room are bands that i do listen to. i’m not being a fake fan of the bands, or just scripting that my DR self listens and loves these bands just because i think eddie would find it impressive or whatever. i do listen and love these bands and even more that aren’t pictured on my walls! (i’m only saying this because some people are fucking rude, and i’m not about to have people accusing me of being a fake fan and shit) okay rant over lol

now onto the photos:

here is the floor plan overview:

here is the overview of my bedroom from the entrance to my room:

now this is my room from all angles (as you can see it is plastered with band posters and my rockstar/celebrity crushes) :

this is my TV, TV stand, and dvd player is sitting on top. i wanted my TV to be put on the wall on the app, because that’s what i scripted initially my tv would be on, but it wouldn’t let me :( so just imagine the TV is mounted on the wall lol

then we have my little seating area in front of my small window, i thought it was so cute:

i’m gonna make multiple post going further in detail about my room and everything, and showing you the rest of my room, because tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post on mobile, so stay tuned for my next posts :)

also, I AM AWARE that in these photos some of the posters don’t look even, or placed right, but they are. when you “walk around” the room in the app, and you get close to the wall, it all is the same size, and isn’t all off. i am also aware that some of the colors won’t be the exact match, especially in the bathroom. i did the best i could with matching everything with what they had to choose from on the free version. they have more options and colors when you get the pro versions on the app, but i’m not paying for that lol. so please be kind even if some things aren’t all very matchy-matchy, or if this isn’t your vibe. this is MY ROOM after all, and i LOVE it, so that’s all that matters. i’m just sharing this because i thought people would like to see, and it might spark some motivation in a way for people who may have lost it. if you guys have any questions, feel free to comment on any of the posts i’m going to make, or send me an ask! reminder, all hate and bullying will be blocked, because i do not put up with that. :)

#reality shifting #shifting #shifting community #shifting mutuals #shiftblr #shifters #shifting antis dni #shifting blog #shifting realities #shifting motivation #shifting script #shifting consciousness

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kageyuji · 2 months

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Hii! This is my first time trying this, but do you have any advice for starting and building a writing blog?

I've been wanting to start one for a while but I'm not sure how to gain followers and stuff.

hi!! no worries :D and tbh.. i’m not exactly sure LMAO despite it seeming like i have my shit together i Do Not. but!! i can give you some general things/ideas:

write for yourself. write what makes you happy and what you genuinely want to write. despite how much of a people-pleaser i am, it’s also really important to remember that this is a hobby and if you write things you don’t really want to write, it’s going to show through your work but it’s also going to burn you out quickly.

(that said, if you are writing for x reader content make sure your reader is ambiguous. having a character be a 5’4 brunette with a knack for baking is cool sometimes, but it’s also a very slim audience and it’s going to throw some people off)

similarly, don’t compare yourself to other creators and don’t compare yourself to.. yourself. if you have something that does really good, and then you post the next week and it does shit, that’s okay! sometimes tumblr algorithm is just shit. sometimes certain characters are more of a fan favorite. but, also remember that people who have already built a large following are going to have more notes. just don’t get discouraged easily — every fic is something entirely new and it shouldn’t be weighed off of someone else or an entirely different work.

make a masterlist, and make it organized. if you write for a lot of characters and use different posting types this can get really confusing, but look around at other places or play around with it until you find something that you think feels right.

watch your blog activity (once you start posting, anyway). i believe mobile doesn’t have it, but on desktop (or just login to tumblr from your phones browser app lol) there is a little icon that will show interactions with your posts/blog and you can ask it to show the chart based on time of day, weekly basis, etc. post accordingly to that, and hopefully your posts will gain a little more traction :)

aesthetic is (unfortunately) pretty important in my opinion. of course, if you have the most well written thing i’ve seen i’m going to ignore the kinks but i’m also going to be a lot more likely to read things that are organized well. this is mostly about fics to catch someone’s eye, although this bleeds into your actual blog as well.

(pinterest has lots of cool stuff for aesthetics. twitter layout blogs also usually have a lot of good headers. if you want dividers, you can search the “dividers” tag on tumblr or there’s loads of mobile apps to get the thin color strip dividers like i use.)

similarly, try to make your pinned/navi organized and easy to follow. in my personal opinion, i like adding things like rules/dni, tag guides, and especially masterlists linked somewhere in the post. although, again, it’s up to personal opinion on what exactly you want to link there. as long as it’s organized and somewhat simple, you’re good.

as far as a masterlist and rules go, i would recommend laying out certain things beforehand, like what characters you’re going to write for and hard “no”s. as much as i love people on tumblr, sometimes they just cannot read — it helped me a lot whenever i was new to tell myself “hey, i don’t have to do that. it says that right here and it’s not my fault that they didn’t see that!”

(i also added a little rule that said “if you actually read this, add a ‘<3’ in your asks so i know” LOL it helped me filter requests between who actually cared to read my rules and who didn’t)

add tags to your fics. add so many tags. add many more tags than you think you probably need. add so many tags that you get sick of them — that’s how people are going to find you.

try to keep anonymous asks on, that’s where a lot of interaction comes from. ik people can be dicks sometimes but there’s also a lot of shy people on tumblr. probably 90% of my asks are from anons and i use anon 90% of the time whenever i send asks (especially to my moots bc they’re scary :[ lol)

just generally be nice to people. you don’t have to go out of your way to send love letters to everyone on your feed, but i’ve found that just leaving a little “i hope you enjoy reading this” or something similar as a little note helps my mental for some reason, but it also (hopefully) makes me seem a little less intimidating

#i hope this helped!! if you have any other questions please lmk 🫶#lore.txt #msg: ghosts

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fishing-lesbian-catgirl · 9 months

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I'm glued to my screen, begging you to infodump to me about lol professionals doing bad builds (also lol item optimisation in general)

The thing that inspired me to make that post was this screenshot a friend sent me of an LPL game. I don’t know which game or which player is the offending person here and I don’t care:

Look at the Leblanc’s items. For those who haven’t been keeping up with LoL meta, Statikk Shiv Leblanc is really popular right now because the ap scaling on statikk shiv gives Leblanc a way to finally clear minion waves without using her W and putting herself at risk. Additionally the statikk shiv proc’s ap scaling gives her enough burst on auto attacks that when paired with items like Night Harvester and Lich Bane it makes her a legitimate threat, despite the fact that you are building an ad marksman item on an ap assassin.

However if you look at the Leblanc in that picture you’ll notice she doesn’t have any ap, she built full ad. Most people would write this off as completely troll because Leblanc has no ad scalings, but I am not most people, I got m7 Ahri by playing exclusively ad Ahri, I like off meta builds that use champions in unique ways. Ad Leblanc has been an off meta build for years because her ranged auto atttacks combined with absurd mobility of her W and RW lets her stay in range to do serious auto attack damage. The Leblanc player in the picture seems to be taking ad Leblanc and statikk shiv Leblanc and trying to fuse the builds. However their build fucking sucks for reasons I will now get into.

Statikk Shiv only scales with ap and level, so without any ap this Leblanc can’t even one-shit backline caster minions. With Statikk Shiv, Essence Reaver, and Stormrazor, the purpose of this build is clearly to front load as much damage into the first auto attack as possible, which is a strange but understandable goal for a build. But even disregarding the question of the viability of ad Leblanc, the mythic item choice of Duskblade of Draktharr is an objectively terrible choice for this build. Said 3 item combo of Shiv, Reaver, and Razor are all attack damage + critical strike items designed to deal frontloaded damage, which give Leblanc a total of 60% critical strike chance. With so much invested in ad and crit you would expect them to go for a critical strike mythic item like Navori Quickblades (ad, crit, cooldowns, ability damage amp), Infinity Edge (ad, crit, crits do more damage), or Galeforce (ad, crit, a dash that deals execute damage and gives you even more mobility). But they picked Duskblade of Draktharr, a lethality item for ad assassins that gives armor penetration, cooldown reduction, a temporary untargetability on takedown, and increase on ability damage against low health targets. Duskblade gives no critical strike, doesn’t help frontload damage on auto attacks, doesn’t help leblancs magic damage abilities penetrate armor, and amplifies the damage of Leblanc’s abilities even though this is an auto attack based build. If Leblanc wanted her abilities to hurt more, she would just build ap. So why did the pro player pick Duskblade of Draktharr? Likely because Duskblade used to be an item that frontloads damage on auto attacks by increasing the damage of your first attack after exiting stealth or the fog of war. Duskblade was reworked completely about 4 patches ago in the same patch that made Statikk Shiv into the item that Leblanc currently loved for ap scaling waveclear and burst. While I don’t know exactly why this player chose to build the way they did, I can make a decent guess that they didn’t know Duskblade got reworked.

As I said in my original post, LoL pro players got to where they are usually by having mechanical skill, not game knowledge. This is especially true of the LPL (Chinese league) and LCK (Korean league) where scouts will watch VODs of players throughout their regions massive playerbases and look solely for those who have good mechanics, because the coaches can just teach them everything else. The players learn how to play their champions and use their fast reaction time and hands to pilot them expertly, while they don’t have to worry about what to build or what is meta because their team’s coaches and analysts tell them what to pick and what to build. This makes sense in terms of creating a league of the best LoL players possible, but it also creates the bizarre current scenario where you will frequently see pro players that don’t even know exactly what their character’s abilities do or don’t understand what items they should build in what circumstances, because they can usually get by with building whatever is the most strong build of the current patch. It’s not just one guy building ad Leblanc and buying a mythic item that is effectively almost useless on his build, it’s players buying grievous wounds items against team comps that don’t have healing, players buying void staff against comps with no tanks or magic resist stackers, players purchasing armor items against magic damage lane opponents, and just hundreds of other small mistakes that very rarely affect the overall outcome of the game but are objectively bad decisions that drive people like me insane. This is less of a problem when their teams have good analysts and coaches with a good understanding of the game, but understandably they are usually focused on things like team decision making, coordination, teamfight callouts, and a hundred other things that are just as important to winning a game as buying the right items. I don’t envy pro players with all the things they have to do and the absurd number of games they have to play to stay relevant, but I reserve the right to harshly judge their itemization choices, as they are supposed to be the best players at this game in the world. I’ve honestly only scratched the surface of bad pro builds but I don’t have any other specific examples to point out right now so

One last thing: there are soooo many pro players who don’t know the details of their champion abilities and how they interact with other champions, and they are frequently unaware of the optimizations people who play their champions have made. The smart pros will talk to one tricks of the champions when they become meta and will learn tips and tricks from them, but very few actually bother. Poppy is my most played champion of all time, and now that she’s meta I have to suffer through watching pro players that don’t seem to know that you can cancel Poppy’s ult channel to put it on its reduced cooldown by recalling, instead of waiting for the full channel duration to time out or just throwing it out and missing. Poppy’s ultimate is an absurdly powerful tool, and if you don’t see an opening for it after you start charging it up you can literally just press the b key and it’ll be back up in just a few seconds

#LoL #ramblings

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whataperfectwasteoftime · 2 years

Text

Hope (Pitch Black Drabble)

Pairing: Dave York x blind!OFC (Caroline Winters)

Rating: E (Smut, 18+)

Word Count: 328 (teeny tiny! who am I?)

Warnings: Fluff; Dave being a sarcastic shit.

A/N: IDK what this is, I just wanted to get this down. I thought at first I'd make it a part of something longer, but I just kind of like it as-is. A little peek into Caroline and Dave. The painting they're discussing is above. This is queued, the first 50 people in my taglist are tagged. LOL.

Masterlist

Caroline's cane is folded neatly in her purse in favor of her preferred mobility aid–on Dave’s arm, her hand curled around his bicep, his larger fingers gently curled over her own.

“What’s this one?” she asks as the two of them stroll slowly through a quiet, echoing room.

Dave squints at a placard on the wall. “View Near Stockbridge, Mass,” he rumbles in Caroline’s ear. “Frederic Church.”

“Describe it to me,” Caroline commands, and Dave’s mouth twitches up at her assertiveness. People don’t usually tell him what to do. Caroline doesn’t care; Dave likes that.

“It’s a landscape,” he says.

Caroline seems to wait for more words. When they don’t come, she elbows him softly in the ribs. “Okay, but what is it of?” she asks, feigning exasperation.

“There’s land,” Dave deadpans, “and sky.”

“Oh, my God,” Caroline mutters under her breath, and Dave’s smile widens. “Dave.”

“Okay,” Dave folds. “The clouds are really… pretty,” he begins awkwardly. “They’re fluffy, and light pink. The sky is pale yellow; it looks like it’s early morning. The vantage point is on a hill, there are some low mountains in the distance. There’s um… trees, and fields. A river There’s a cow in the foreground.”

Caroline laughs happily. “You should have started with the cow!”

“I’ll remember that,” Dave says. “Always mention the cows.”

“But what does it make you feel?” Caroline asks, leaning her head against his shoulder.

Dave purses his lips, thinking. He looks down at her mess of bright red curls. They stick to his wool coat; he finds them everywhere, picking them off of his suits as he rides the elevator up to his office every morning at work, or clearing them out of his shower drain with a grimace on the weekends. They always seem to concentrate right there, on his shoulder, where her head always rests when they stand like this.

Dave’s mouth curves into a soft, fond smile as he finds his answer.

“Hopeful.”

***

Taglist:

@leslie-lyman @radiowallet @coastielaceispunk @green-socks @stilettoforbeginners @lovesbiggerthanpride @balekanemohafe @wildmoonflower @hotchlover @musings-of-a-rose @beskarprincessjenny @iamskyereads @janebby @amneris21 @littlemisspascal @pascalove @beardsanddetectives @girlofchaos @mandoblowmybackout @oogaboogasphincter @elegantduckturtle @shadesofnerdlygrace @hb8301 @mswarriorbabe80 @steeevienicks @supernaturalgirl20 @katareyoudrilling @scorpio-marionette @xoxabs88xox @deadhumourist @absurdthirst @bison-writes @outercrasis @honestly-shite @ezrasbirdie @generaldisdainn @darthadeline @chronic-nosebleed @greeneyedblondie44 @jupiterfics @tintinn16 @pedrostories @just-here-for-the-moment @notabotiswear @kirsteng42 @harriedandharassed @shirks-all-responsibilities @bruxasolta @tentacruels @pedropascalsx

#dave york #dave york x oc #dave york x ofc

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ericmicael · 1 year

Text

DISNEY MAGIC KINGDOMS: Hans and his two comebacks.

“Disney Magic Kingdoms” is a mobile game.

Although Hans is the main antagonist of “Frozen 1″ he only officially returned in the franchise in “Frozen Fever” where it was shown what punishment his father, the King of the Southern Isles, gave him for his actions in Arendelle:

Be a stable keeper. “How am I going to punish my least favorite son for ruining my business chances with Arendelle after he tried to kill the queen and princess? Put him to work in the stable”, Hans is really a playboy lol

And besides, I believe that the only mentions of the prince's future after F1 are like the phrase from “Polar Nights” where it reinforces that he continues in his destiny of “Frozen Fever”. Duke Weselton even though he ordered two of his henchmen to kill Queen Elsa he was just expelled from Arendelle who cut ties with Weselton, in fact the same punishment as Hans, but unlike the prince who is still drowning in shit for 7 years the Duke has returned over and over again for the franchise including Arendelle, and I believe that relations between the two kingdoms, Arendelle and Weselton, have already been fixed.

I'm not here to defend Prince Hans because I consider him to be a really despicable figure and that it wouldn't add anything to returning, being at most a repeat of his F1 actions (as are the passages on him in this game) or he would have to suffer a turn of events 180º in his personality, but I believe that it would be easier for Disney to create another idiot just like him (Thord and Runeard, for example) if his participation is not just cheap fanservice. Anyway, I just wanted to explain the situation.

But he returns in “Frozen Heart” and “Conceal, Don't Feel” which are two versions of F1 that I believe is Disney trying to better explain the nickname Jennifer Lee gave Hans: “dumb sociopath”, and in in my opinion they succeeded. These two books reinforce Hans' main characteristic: he only cares about himself and when people stop being useful he discards them as if they were nothing (in short: if you used the fact that he saved Elsa in the Ice Palace as an argument that he's not a bad person these two books threw that argument into the same shit that Hans is buried).

Now after the introduction, let's get to the focus of the post.

HANS RETURNS AFTER FROZEN 1 AND FROZEN FEVER

Elsa and Anna are in another realm when a strange snowstorm starts there. Elsa knows that this was not an act of her powers, but she is not sure if the event is magical or not, it is not the time for a snowstorm, and fearing that her sister will get involved and hurt herself, she decides to take care of the situation by herself.

Anna, seeing that Elsa has disappeared, starts looking for her sister in the middle of the snowstorm, believing that she may be in danger, but who she finds first is Hans. Hans accuses Elsa of being the cause of the situation because she was not there trying to help, but since no one in the kingdom knows the man's reputation, everyone would believe the prince's words.

Anna, fearing that people will believe Hans' words and accuse Elsa as the cause of the storm, decides to calm the population, she ends up meeting Kristoff and together they consult the Trolls who claim that although Elsa is not the cause of the event, she can end it.

Hans, taking advantage of the situation, goes to the kingdom's castle to try to dominate the place while pretending to care about the population while blaming the Snow Queen for the chaos. When Anna and Kristoff find Elsa, the three decide to put an end to the prince's lie.

Elsa, Anna and Kristoff return to the castle, and Elsa uses her magic to prove that she is a good person, managing to convince the population not to believe Hans' lies. But Hans still directly accuses Elsa which makes her realize that he might be hiding something.

Elsa and Anna return to Elsa's Ice Palace and discover Marshmallow asleep and he is somehow the cause of the storm. But in the Ice Palace they also find the Southern Isles' court physicist, he had been sent as a nanny to Hans, but the prince blackmailed him and used his knowledge in Mashmallow to cause the snowstorm, and so Hans would help the people convincing people that he is a hero to have the kingdom under his feet.

When Hans is confronted with the truth, he returns to the Ice Palace trying to escape with Marshmallow to continue his plan, but Elsa after a certain problem manages to wake up the snow giant who beats the prince.

SECONDARY MISSIONS

1 - Welcome a Thirteenth Son

HANS: Please... allow me to introduce myself. I am Prince Hans, of the Southern Isles. If there's ANY way I can be of service to help you in a time of need, please call on me. I'll do everything in my power. What? You don't believe me? Fine. But you try being thirteenth in line to a throne and see what you'd do.

2 – Keeping Up Appearances

HANS: Let's see... marriage is out... magic's been unreliable... and that's the last time I try to steal a snow monster... Don't judge me. It's not like I have a lot of options. I'll never get any power at home with twelve older brothers. I suppose I'll just have to rely on my charm. After all, I was raised to be quite charming. And I AM still a prince. I'm sure there are at least some people here who haven't heard what that's entailed, lately.

Hans tries to win over the people.

HANS: Turns out there aren't that many people out there who don't know me... ...and too many people who think they do. You wouldn't know how to get tomato stains out of a white jacket, would you? Next time, I should look for an audience carrying less produce.

3 – The Corridors of Power

HANS: You know, I actually WAS here on official business. Well, technically, anyway. My brothers thought it would be HILARIOUS to ship me off to every kingdom on the map to learn about proper diplomacy... ...which means that I have diplomatic credentials to get me through the castle gate. After a few meetings with officials... perhaps a bribe or two... Who knows? You COULD be looking at this Kingdom's future king...

Hans tries to infiltrate Arendelle's Rink.

HANS: Well, THAT was a complete waste of time! Oh, I was offered a position at the castle, just not the one I was hoping for. I will be politely declining the job of "Sanitation Assistant to the Stablehand -- Junior Grade." This kingdom's anti-corruption laws are REALLY thorough. Though, they DID say I could work my way up to "Associate Grade" after fifteen years' service. Pass.

4 – What Is She Hiding?

HANS: I have spent my entire life trying to get anywhere NEAR a throne room -- and "Queen Elsa" just CREATED one. An ice palace! Out of thin air! And she STILL managed to gain the people's trust, even after freezing the whole kingdom. I wonder if she has a secret hidden away somewhere in that palace. A magical way of winning the people to her side.... I will be right back. I have an errand to run.

Hans goes to investigate the Ice Palace.

HANS: Empty... I should've known. Well, except for this note someone left on the throne... "Elsa isn't a good ruler because of magic -- it's because she's caring, smart, and finally accepts herself for who she is."` "P.S. You're a lying, predictable, weasel-faced toad, and I bet you don't even LIKE sandwiches." I'm pretty sure I know who THIS is from. I DO like sandwiches, you know. I'm not a monster.

SOME THOUGHTS AND EXPLANATIONS

Disney Magic Kingdoms works like this: the game has the central kingdom which is like a Hub where the player can place representatives of other Disney places that acted as if it were the real place. When Hans invaded the kingdom and tried to manipulate the citizens to elect him king, he was in this central kingdom (which is not Arendelle), but he managed to interact with the representations of Frozen and kidnap Mashmallow.

Hans tries to conquer another kingdom using the same methods he tried with Arendelle. To me that's what would make the most sense with the character arc. All he wanted was to gain prestige to rub it in his brothers and father's face that he's not the failure they always imagined him to be, so after failing in Arendelle it would make a lot more sense for him to try the plan elsewhere than just revenge on Arendelle. But in this case, he tried to use Marshmallow's power to create chaos since Eternal Winter worked so well to put the population of Arendelle in the position he wanted: desperate crying out for a savior.

HANS RETURNS AFTER FROZEN 2

1 - Snow and Sisters

ANNA: Okay! First Winter Festival since my coronation day... First one since Elsa moved to the Enchanted Forest... Whoo! I can DO this! All I have to do is show Arendelle how good I am at festival-hosting, AND make Elsa proud, AND have a good time doing it... I hope I can! A good time, and a QUEENLY time. I am going to host this festival in a queenly way. Queenly? Is that a word? Queenishly...? ... All right, FOCUS, Anna. Look it up later -- host the festival now!

Anna is going to prepare the Winter Festival.

ANNA: I thought about it, and getting a krumkake with cloudberry cream from that stall was an EXTREMELY queenly thing to do. I do wish Elsa was here to share this with me, though. We always used to love eating krumkake at this time of year. But... she's still on her way. So, until she gets here, I'm gonna test out whether ice skating is as queenly as dessert is! Maybe I'd better double-check the dessert-tasting part afterward, though. Just to be safe!

2 - Missed Connections

KRISTOFF: Has anyone seen Anna...? We said we'd meet up between my lute performances to ride the gravity mine cart, but I can't find her... Right... I should explain. Oaken's tinkered with the mine cart track to make it a "festival amusement of his own invention..." HE says it's more fun than riding a sled down a mountain, and I said "that's impossible," and... now I have to prove it. And... Uh... ALSO have a good time on the ride with my fiancée. (... Who can confirm how right I am about this.) Send

Kristoff goes looking for Anna in "Ice Skate at the Rink"

KRISTOFF: No sign of her. At least I got to finish my lute performance while I was looking. It's kinda nice to play while I walk--

ANNA: Kristoff! Sorry-I-missed-you-still-trying-to-figure-out-this-ice-skating-thing----Specifically-how-to-stop-okay-talk-later-love-you-byeeeeeee...

KRISTOFF: ... Huh. How did she end up OUTSIDE the ice rink...? Guess I'll catch up with her later. After she's... uh... slowed down.

3 - Visiting Guests

ELSA: Getting here took a little longer than usual, but it was worth it. Usually, I ride the Water Nokk down the fjord, but I wanted to travel with the Northuldra visitors. This will be their first time at Arendelle's Winter Festival, and I wanted to give them an idea of what to expect. Of course, Honeymaren and Ryder ran off to see the sights the moment we got here, so I'm not sure I actually needed to. Send

Elsa goes to explore the festival.

ELSA: The festival is just like I remembered it! Arendelle will always be special to me, and it always feels nice to come back. I haven't seen Anna yet, but I couldn't resist making some snow patterns for the children. They were so excited! Families come from all over for the festival -- Zaria, Chatho, the Southern Isles, and now the Enchanted Forest, too. But don't worry: We make sure a CERTAIN person from the Southern Isles is NEVER invited. Though other citizens of the Southern Isles are always welcome.

4 - Guess Who...?

HANS: Three... years... Three years in the stables... ingratiating myself with the palace staff... bribing the Chamberlain to forge me new papers... Firming up my alibi... sneaking onto the ship to Arendelle... blending in with the festival delegation... Finally. After three years... Hans of the Southern Isles has returned! ... Disguised as a peppernut cookie salesman. (He was the easiest person to lock in a compartment in the hold before we docked...) Send

Hans puts his plan into action.

HANS: Hm. Finding an out-of-the-way location to plant those barrels of explosives might be harder than I thought... ...Mostly because I keep getting mobbed by dessert-crazy festivalgoers. This was NOT the best identity to steal, in retrospect. Although, credit where it's due -- he IS a decent baker. I've been snacking on these things all afternoon... Unfortunately, it will take more than peppernut cookies to get behind the scenes unnoticed.

5 - Recipe for Success

RYDER: ... And this large man in a sweater has a portable sauna AND some kind of downhill-sled-cart thing! Plus Mattias found his dad's sourdough flatbread recipe and is doing a tasting later. How are you NOT excited about all this?

HONEYMAREN: I am, Ryder. Don't worry. It's just that Elsa asked me to help with the dessert stall, and...

RYDER: ... And you don't wanna let her down. Gotcha. Hey, why don't I help? If we work together, we'll sell twice as much.

Honeymaren and Ryder sell desserts.

HONEYMAREN: I think that's actually the last of them, somehow! ... Phew. How did you do?

RYDER: Great! I actually started serving the mountain-sorrel pudding and the cloudberry jam together. It was really popular!

HONEYMAREN: Seriously? That's like... tart on tart, Ryder. I'm surprised anyone enjoyed it!

RYDER: Yeah, all except one guy. He was so busy asking me if this place had any "out-of-the-way storehouses," he didn't even eat it! I mean... he WAS selling some really good cookies, but still, he was really pushy.

What Ryder really meant in this mission: "I understand sister, you are a lesbian and you are in love with the Snow Queen Elsa, I will help you please her".

6 - Trains vs. Sleds

OLAF: SVEN! Sven, Sven, Sven! Oh, I have no WORDS for what I just experienced! Other than that it was Oaken's mine-cart-gravity-ride-thing, and also, maybe the most fun I've had in my entire LIFE! It was AMAZING, Sven. First I ROLLED, and then I COASTED, and-- Ooh, I like how that sounds! It really rolls off the tongue. I should tell Oaken about that -- right after I tell him how right he was about it being more exciting than Kristoff's sled--

SVEN: SNORF.

Send Sven and Olaf disagree.

SVEN: Snurf snuf...

OLAF: Ha ha ha! Okay, Sven -- we've got a deal. I'll agree that Kristoff's sled is TIED for most exciting with Oaken's coasty-roll'em... (Or... something like that. I feel like we should workshop the name a little more? I'll come back to it.) Anyway -- and in exchange -- YOU'LL tell me three new stories tonight at bedtime! Okay?

SVEN: Snorf!

OLAF: Well, it's a pleasure doing business with you too! ... And there's leftover mountain-sorrel over there if you're hungry. I hear it's better than carrots!

7 - Fire Friend

BRUNI: Skrrrk...

ELSA: Oh! Hello again. Are you all right? I thought you were helping Yelana keep the stew pot heated...

BRUNI: Skrik... Squeak!

ELSA: A little overwhelmed, huh? Well, there are a lot of people here. Sometimes it can be a little much for me too. It's all right if you want to go back to the Enchanted Forest now.

Bruni returns to the Enchanted Forest.

BRUNI: Squeak, squeak! (Purr)

8 - He Can Explain!

HANS: Fine. If the Northuldra delegation has no useful information, there are plenty of other visitors here that might. Maybe some of Weselton's staff...? The Duke knows my face, but as long as I'm careful about who I approach, I should-- ANNA: ...aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA--(doof!) HANS: OW! Hey -- watch who you slam into on those skates-- ... Ohhh, no... I was GOING to say, there's a PERFECTLY REASONABLE explanation for why I'm here right now, and if you'd just (DOOF--)

ANNA: Nope! Not listening. I'd MUCH rather sock you in the face again. Like that! Guards? Please escort the ONLY person on my "Never-Invited-to-the-Festival List" off the premises.

HANS: (Koff--) Wait...! See, you're not--

ANNA: Oh -- sorry! I meant "escort him out of ARENDELLE." Which I'm the queen of. You can make a day trip out of it, if you'd like.

HANS: Uh--

ANNA: Gerda can pack you some sandwiches for the road! Make sure you give absolutely NONE of them to Hans.

HANS: Hey! That's not-- (*sigh*...) Fine. I'm not hungry, anyway.

9 - Sweet Endings

ANNA: There you are, Elsa! I'm sorry it took me so long to find you -- I just... uh... ran into an old acquaintance. But hey -- I saved you a krumkake with cloudberry cream, just like we used to love! I thought we could share it. ELSA: Well, I saved you the last mountain-sorrel pudding! It has cloudberries too. Rather like a... ANNA: ... Tart on tart? ELSA: Yes! How did you know? ANNA: I heard Ryder's sales pitch! And I'm ALL IN. Let's sit by the rink and share both. We've got a lot to catch up on...

Elsa and Anna share dessert while Kristoff continues to explore the festival.

RYDER: Hey, Kristoff -- I tracked down Anna for you! She and Elsa are over by the ice rink, and... Whaaaat are you doing?

KRISTOFF: Giving them space to be sisters. This is the first Winter Festival since Elsa moved. They should have some time together.

RYDER: No... I meant, "Why are you carving a tiny model sled track out of an ice block?"

KRISTOFF: (*sigh*...) Well, I finally went on Oaken's gravity mine cart while I was waiting for Anna, and it was... completely amazing. I figured I could pitch him on a frozen sled version if I get the design right! ... And if I ride the original a few more times.

RYDER: Well, let me know the next time you do -- I'll back you up from the passenger seat! Reindeer pals, right?

KRISTOFF: Heh... Yeah! Reindeer pals!

SOME THOUGHTS AND EXPLANATIONS

I found out that Hans was in this game precisely because of a mission where Hans tried to kidnap Bruni, but when I was doing the investigation to create this post, I didn't find this mission or any other individual mission with him after the events of the second film. I didn't go looking in the same place that I found the mission to kidnap Bruni (it would be a lot of work and I don't believe it will bear much fruit), but it's there as a curiosity that may have been an optical illusion.

Was Hans's plan to explode barrels and cause genocide in Arendelle? Hans in "Frozen Heart" said that he only considers killing someone as a last resort so I have my doubts. Could this really have been his plan? Yes, but I think it's more likely that he just wants to create chaos or damage to Arendelle (I praised another arc precisely for running away from the cliché of revenge without purpose and this arc is precisely that cliché).

The post-F2 “Winter Festival” already happened in the comics, but in this case only the main team participated (Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, Olaf and Sven) with just generic winter activities... yeah. In “Disney Magic Kingdoms” it was indeed a meeting of everyone from F2 (and if the character did not appear, he was mentioned). Something like this has already happened with “Polar Nights”, there is a comic that also tells the first polar night festivity in Arendelle after F2... what happens in the comic are just generic activities, nothing relevant.

Which should be considered canon? The 4 events are considered as the first after F2 so you can only choose one of each: "Winter Festival" from the comics and "Polar Nights" from the book seem to be more canonical.

Which happens first? In both cases it seems to be the “Winter Festival”, so that line from "Polar Nights" saying that the Northuldras are on migration cannot be considered to justify the absence of the tribe in the "Winter Festival" comic which makes me wish for canonicity of the version of "Disney Magic Kingdoms".

#frozen #frozen fever #frozen 2 #disney magic kingdoms #hans westergaard #prince hans #polar nights: cast into darkness #winter festival #conceal don't feel #frozen heart #frozen books #frozen comics

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moki-dokie · 2 years

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It took about a year, but I’m down 55lbs. Purely from taking my thyroid meds like I should (i’m such a notoriously bad medicine taker ugh) and making some super minor adjustments to my diet. literally nothing else. and those adjustments? just eat less carbs. not cutting them out entirely, not restricting myself to x amount a day, just... less. like if i get a sandwich i might take off one of the bread slices, or choose a different side instead of chips, or just not eat the crust of pizza, ect. and then the thyroid meds cut my appetite too, so eating less in general on top of the adjusted carb intake helped.

i feel a lot better, i can tell you that much. i’ve lost a bit of muscle mass too in the process tho so eventually i need to get back to the gym and start building a bit of strength.

hoping to drop another 20-30lbs by this time next year but if i don’t it’s nbd. i’ve got full range of mobility back again(yay i can be gay and sit cross-legged in chairs once more!) and can mostly fit into all of my clothes again and thats kind of what i cared about most lol anything more would just be a happy bonus. another happy bonus is this will make getting top surgery a little easier, once i get around to doing that. (lmao and that’ll be an automatic like 10-15lbs gone instantly) because, yknow, doctors are still swearing by a 200 year old chart that was never intended to be used the way it is to judge how fat you are :) and then making certain things extra hard to do because of that :) like convincing your doc you don’t give a shit if you lose a bunch of weight after top surgery and it looks weird :) but anyway. yeah. progresssssss

#personal #getting back into some of my favorite jeans has been the best part tbh lmao

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sugar-spice-and-pretty-men · 2 years

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Sandman ep 3+4 impressions - Joanna Constantine was surprisingly cooperative. When she pointedly told Morpheus to fuck off and only cared about her job I thought we’d spend the whole episode playing bullshit game to get her to help, but she actually didn’t mind lending him a hand, which was a breath of fresh air after the first ep where 90% of people involved refused to compromise whatsoever. Granted she only wanted to get rid of the nightmare and did try to slip away, but overall that went well enough. - Matthew my dude, the reason why she got away was because you distracted Morpheus! Speaking of which, Matthew was a human who died and the next thing he knew, he was a raven. Dude sure took it in stride, just shrugged it off and went on with his new job. - Poor Rachel falling in love with the wrong person and suffered terribly for it. Still, 6 months and no one went to check on her?? Where the heck were her friends and family?! - Now I know why Morpheus was stuck in the basement for a decade, it has been 10000 years and he still hasn’t forgiven Nada, dude’s just petty as fuck. Then again Gods and the Divines in mythologies are rarely known for being forgiving lol. Really curious what happened between them though. - Morpheus owe both Lucienne and Matthew a heartfelt thank for looking after his ass. - I thought Morpheus was going to get his ass kicked by Lucifer, but then they started playing a game of who is stronger Naruto vs Goku... - I feel like I missed something with the “hope” one, wouldn’t despair kill hope? Or did that not count because Despair is his sibling? Why did Lucifer look so shaken? I didn’t quite get that part. - I have seen Neil Gaiman hyped up Lucifer’s casting a lot, so I was looking forward to Lucifer’s performance but honestly I was disappointed. First of all the hairstyle they chose for her fucking sucked, her face was already so round and soft, so that puffy curly hair just made her look like a Karen. She didn’t look ethereal and threatening at all, she looked like a childish middle-aged woman ready to throw a tantrum. The only thing I liked about her was her height, I liked how they used the camera angle to show her dwarfing over Morpheus, that was cool. Also her outfits were dope. - Rosemary my dear, showing too much kindness to the wrong person will only result in disaster. That amulet John gave you, please for the love of all good thing in the world, throw it into a fucking lake or something. That will only cause trouble, you don’t want to accidentally have some people fucking explode while defending yourself. At least she’s alive though, god I was afraid she was gonna die. - Ethel was a great character, I feel conflicted about her. She genuinely loved her son but she was also a terrible mother, she accidentally created a monster and didn’t know how to deal with it. - If I understood it right, Ethel was 116 years old when she died, she had John when she was fairly young, like when she was 20-ish? So John must be around 90 years old? Wait that doesn’t feel right, he’s too mobile and clear-minded for a 90 years old. He seems more like 70-ish to me. But let’s say he’s 90yrs old and was kept fairly young because of magic or whatever, he said he had been locked up for 30 years. So he stole the ruby and made a mess at... 60 yrs old...? Like really? Rebellion at the retire age...? - The timeline is kinda fucked, like Morpheus said he was imprisoned for a decade, but Alex already looked like 8-9 yrs old when Morpheus got caught. How the fuck did both Alex and Paul come to be in such great shape at like 110 years old?? As far as I know they had no magic shit lying around because Ethel stole them already, and Alex wasn’t really taught magic by his father. So what the heck? It’s especially confusing when you consider how Alex wasn’t that much younger than Ethel. He was already like a late teenager when they met, and Ethel was like only a few years older than him. Without the Amulet of Protection, Ethel crumbled to death, but Alex was healthy enough to be able to stand and walk a little by himself. The characters’ age is kind of a fuckery. I should have paid more attention to the date but I’m also not sure if that would helped lol.

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troglobite · 1 year

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heardle got me reminiscing!!! (in case it’s unfamiliar to you, tw for blood towards the end after she gets up from the piano bench)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTo_5LRqBx4

still genuinely upsetting & baffling that there’s no HD version of this performance somewhere online, it’s a fucking ICONIC performance

caveat for:

Yikes That’s Not How Disability and Mobility Aids Should be Used and Repped!!! OOF!!! BIG OOF!!! YIKESSSSSS

but the rest of it is just like. FUCK, man. i know it’s rose colored glasses in a way, but genuinely looking back like....lady gaga was so much higher concept than pop culture was ready for. ~ahead of her time~ etc

that fucking performance is just fucking iconic. how SCARED and SHOCKED the audience was! like they fucking bought into it. &when they realized it was fake blood, the screams continued but it morphed into AHHH FUCK YEAH THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING!!!!

&now that i’m looking back &have been on occasion w lady gaga’s discography & body of work, legitimately the only reason i never got really into her when she was just coming onto the world stage? well, two reasons, i’ll be honest.

the first is annoying/silly, in that high energy music is A Lot for me to listen to, so i don’t often listen to it. even though i really enjoyed her music, i rarely sought it out for that reason.

but the BIGGEST reason that hit me upon reflection?

i was wayyyyy too in the closet to be openly a fan of her

like i was already being called slurs all the time (thank you for the dyke comments, though, childhood bullies, i AM, now that you mention it! lol) &ppl were Highly Suspicious of me Being A Queer (again, correct! lol) so it was like HA yeah not gonna do that. my only saving grace was being into the jonas brothers so it was like the [points aggressively] SEE???? I’M STRAIGHT AND NORMAL!!!! thing for me. lol

lady gaga would’ve IMMEDIATELY put me into “fucking weird creepy dyke loser” territory even further than i was.

&of course funny thing, my friend who is ALSO gay (lol kidding MOST of my friends back then ended up being some flavor of queer) was the one who introduced me to lady gaga. she was on the ~cutting edge~ w music & shit like that, still is--she listens CONSTANTLY. lol

but she was thin and cute and had a lot of friends & was normal and quiet enough that afaik, she could avoid most of the shit that i got on that front, so she was able to be WILDLY into the GAYEST WOMEN IN MUSIC and it was fine, afaik.

now i’m just rambling and thinking abt it. lol bc she’s also of chinese descent etc. so i’m in NO universe saying she somehow had it fine--i specifically mean in that one regard at that point in our lives w the ppl we knew, &only afaik.

bUT!!!! my point is, lady gaga kind of. took a while to really get her due. &i do still wonder if, in popular culture, ppl really get the art that she puts out, y’know? her talent has gotten recognition. she’s iconic, of course. she helped to shape the artistic landscape now (looking at you, fucking wannabe billie e*lish lol--to be clear i literally don’t care/know anything at all, i’m being irreverent).

but yeah, looking back it’s just like. ppl thought she was “weird” and couldn’t figure her out & it’s like.

bro. her music, lyrics, &music videos WERE NOT SUBTLE. SHE WAS NOT SUBTLE. but just deliberately trying to ignore anything she was saying bc Yikes Uncomfortable. lol

ANYWAY just thinking & reminiscing. i’m extremely hungry rn and a little bit jazzed bc that performance just fucking GETS me, man. lol

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boredymcbored · 2 years

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I wanna

Write so I am. On mobile. In a hotel room. Tired as eggs.

Good thing my schedule clears up. There's so much personal management I've got to clear up and not teaching every day gives me more time to do so. I will practice techniques I utilize that help improve focus and emotional fortitude. Exercise, water. I can also meditate. That will help so much.

Im so excited for what I have up next on paper, but I'm worried about the execution of it all. I guess nervousness is part of the whole shebang but I think that my worry stems on my own belief in my ability to manage it all. My junior year(s) still fucks me until this day. I miss tapping into the ‘do everything unrelentlessly’ attitude I had years ago. I felt so alive and in control.

Quick realization with, like, the girl thing I'm navigating through. Despite my reopened wound of self assurance oozing doubtful thoughts all over the place, I've found comfort in timely words and just ... Thinking things through.

If I'm not in on something, there's a reason for it.

If thing still feel good but don't look the same as others, it's still good? Like, it's ok if it doesn't look the same cause you're you and have wonderful attributes about you that make you unique and thus steer the ship in relating differently.

Everything isn't for you. And that's okay.

You can convince yourself of the opposite all day dude, there's no mistaking what it looks like, sounds like, how you act when you are fond of someone. You know, you've done it. We can argue degree, self doubt, but stop dismissing shit. The care is evident. It's hella impactful. It fills you up. Don't dismiss the intentionality from it. From her.

But it's funny cause I didn't even wanna talk about that. I wanted to talk about why I didn't like the experience we had ... Well I liked it. I'm just hoping it's not the final encounter or else I fear I would would slightly regret it. Why?

Women are soft. And gentle. And the intention placed in those sweet words. The steadying notes of comfort I receive throughout the day? I wanted to express that through kiss. And touch. Caressing smooth skin with a calming eager kiss.

But it was all eager. And if it were just a mulligan or just one of many? Shit those nights happen. Where it's just PASSION. Those are fun nights too btw. The desperation turns the tango to a different level of fire and drive.. Tongues swirling bombastically in the heat of war.

But what that tongue was tamed.. if only initially? If we could just appreciate the soft lips of a woman. The skin, the most precious of velvet, pressing against your hands and body... Gently. Then vigorous ofc . But the steady intentional movement of feathery pillowy lips dancing together in the tune of a waltz.. so careful, so assuring, * so intentional *. .. i feel like that we missed out on that.

And I want to give that experience to you.

But.. just one huh?

Edit : do many typos but icanot rn GO GO BED Edit 2: Damn, typos frfr. Thank god awake me. (Still leaves hella typos cause I can’t read lol)

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buzzerbeaterbin · 9 months

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I just initiated the cancellation of my membership today (I’ll still have it til I move out for school) for the gym that taught me how to love and take care of my body for everything that it does. From helping me develop a consistent lifting schedule/positive attitude towards exercise after finally getting vaccinated for COVID in 2021, to leading me to discover my love for workout classes (esp spin and yoga) and having all of the modern equipment and amenities I could ask for (hip thrust machine!!!! Pit shark machine!!! Turf!! Sleds!! Pool!!! Sauna!!! Even lockers that come w locks!!!), all for an insanely fair price given the breadth of services i had access to, it’s so cheesy but it truly became my lil suburban getaway and I will miss it dearly 🥺 I don’t think I’ll be joining again in the near future since my school gym is honestly really nice for something I get for free so long as I live downtown. I am a big girl now and must learn how to get over myself and take up space, even when people I know are looking 😩

One gem I didn’t take advantage of until this summer was a mobility yoga class, which targets connective tissue and improving ROM - something that really appealed to me as I’m working on this chronic back pain. Kraig, the instructor, quickly became my favorite for his pacing and speech, so I prioritized attending every Wednesday evening since learning about the class. Today was my last day with him since he’s out for a month for a surgery, so I decided to go up to him and formally introduce myself after class and tell him how his classes got me through plenty of tough days - waiting for my score to come back, waiting for a decision from my school, bad back pain days, etc. He responded with so much gratitude and told me that if I reach out, he can find a way to let me attend his classes during breaks for free as a guest 🥹 I wasn’t able to connect as intimately with any of my other class instructors but this really just exemplifies my experience with how welcoming the yoga community is - a stark contrast from the plenty of weight lifting people that have treated me like I was little more than gum on their shoe lol. (I was close to making a rant on this very page about all of the egregious characters I crossed paths with last night at the gym, but I let it go…)

Enjoy this utterly irrelevant pic of my go to breakfast bc I am nowhere near the point where I’m comfortable enough to be taking pics in the gym - rolled oats w chia and flax and soy milk with any seasonal fruit of choice. It’s an easy 19ish g of protein and induces my morning shit super quick - a blessing that I have taken for granted for far too long, which I learned the hard way this year 😭

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purplesurveys · 2 years

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1534

What's the weirdest thing you've seen a customer do (you don't have to work at the place)? It’s not really weird, but the most unique observation I’ve had involved this older couple in a cafe who just carried so. much. tension. around them; my table was directly beside theirs so it was easy to sense they were in some sort of disagreement. And it didn’t feel like those usual fights where they sit opposite each other and not talk either; it felt like it was the fight to end all fights, you know? Like it was the final nail in the coffin. Wife was sobbing quietly and looked extremely resentful, husband was sitting in silence. After an hour, the wife wordlessly got up and walked away. Husband left shortly after. There were a handful of moments I felt so bad I just wanted to get the woman something, like a free pastry lol but I didn’t want to get in between them. :((

What is a funny/horrifying sex story that has happened to either you or a friend? I can think of one that happened to me but I don’t feel like sharing. What are some things you consider rude but people still do it all the time anyway? Leaving plates and utensils in disarray after eating at a restaurant. I know some people would argue that it’s the server’s job to clean up...but idk man. You gotta help a little bit - even just crumpling up your nasty napkins would suffice. And especially with Covid...it’s just better to make sure our crews interact with the least amount of contaminated stuff as possible.

What is something you love that you can't get where you live? Fucking pizza rolls. Why does no one ever sell those deep-fried beauties?

Have you ever felt a deep affection for a fictional character? Oh my god, yeah. I had a horrible down-bad phase over Patch from the Hush, Hush series when I was in high school.

Do you ever get a physical feeling of nostalgia for no reason at all? Yes, it comes by from time to time.

How would you feel if your significant other (or possible partner) told you they dislike having sex, but do so with you to make you happy, even though they personally think it's a chore? Being ace I would be largely relieved. If anything, this confession would actually probably be coming from me lol. It’s not that I hate having sex; it can be nice, of course – I just don’t feel the need to do it as often as couples usually do.

What's the most awesome job you've ever heard of? Mystery food inspectors.

What's the weirdest myth you've ever believed? I’ve never believed in myths precisely because I’ve always found them weird.

What social situation always makes you feel bad even though you know you're completely in the right? Having to turn down people who ask me to drive them when their dropoff point is completely out of the way from where I live. What quotes from TV or film do you use regularly (if any)? I never quote from the stuff I watch.

Do you feel that a large percentage of the men that you've been around cannot deny sex when offered? What would be your reaction to a man saying no to you? Skipping this because I don’t care much for sex and I also don’t know guys enough to answer this lol.

What are weird sites you can't stop going on? Don’t really go anywhere beyond social media.

What have you found to be overly hyped/exaggerated? Most food trends are. Like how dalgona coffee was a disappointment (or maybe I just did mine awfully? Haha).

What was your worst "Oh shit! Why did I say/do that?!" with a kid? Snapping at a kid. To be fair, they were rude to me first but I still felt bad lol.

Do you have a hard time letting go of old things you used to use all the time? Yes. This is literally me with this laptop. It’s my baby.

What's your biggest "I need to get a life" moment to date? Every single time I make an in-app purchase on a mobile game. These days this is me with In the Seom...there is definitely the heavy feeling of shame every time I check out LOL

What stories are an absolute must read for your children/possible future children? Corduroy.

What are some of your favorite monologues? So in wrestling, promos are our equivalent of monologues wherein a wrestler basically takes a mic and talks to whoever they want to address the speech to, whether it’s the fans, another wrestler, or even if they just want to make a point for themselves – my favorite promo of all time is CM Punk’s June 27, 2011 one. We fondly call it the Pipebomb Promo; most fans probably have it on their top 10 too.

#survey #surveys

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j2thepowerof3 · 3 years

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Girls like girls like boys do. Nothing new. Isn’t this why we came? Tell me if you feel it too. —Hayley Kiyoko, Girls Like Girls [2015]

#hayley kiyoko #girls like girls #stefanie scott #kelsey asbille #wlw #next up on my all time favorite music videos #🥰#seeing this live in concert #with hayley waiving the pride flag back and forth #and the crowd of girls singing along at the top of their lungs #was a special experience #what did we do to deserve #lesbian jesus #this looks like shit on mobile but I don’t care LOL #my posts

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miekasa · 3 years

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call me (levi ackerman)

↯ pairing: levi ackerman x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: fluff, humor? you can be the judge of that i suppose, levi is quiet and often practical, but you cannot convince that there’s not a small part of him that doesn’t enjoy having shit to hold over people lol

↯ notes: this is also cross-posted from another blog, but i tweaked it a bit to fit levi and rewrote/edited parts i wish the world had never seen </3 also i’m reposting bc i was an idiot who accidentally deleted it on mobile rip

↯ word count: 1.3k

↯ summary: drunk you is not amused by the man who keeps trying to coerce you into his apartment; even if that man is your boyfriend and that apartment is his apartment.

“Alright mister, I’m trusting you for now because you’re Erwinnie’s friend, and Erwinnie is my best friend,” you hiccup, wagging your pointer finger as threateningly as you can in your current state, “So if he says you’re a good person, you’re probably a good person. Or good enough.”

Levi holds back a knowing smirk, and loops his arm through yours to steady your balance. He doesn’t know how or why Erwin let you get this drunk, but he’s at least glad the blonde was sober enough to call him to pick you up instead of letting you get in a cab; or worse, attempt to take the bus.

“I’m so very glad you trust me,” he says, voice flat as your wrap your other arm around his bicep. You hum back, a little spacey and like you maybe didn’t hear what he said.

You’re honestly pretty cute when you’re drunk. It’s not something he gets to see often, as you don’t allow yourself to let go frequently; nor do you usually have the time to. And it’s not that he particularly wishes for you to be drunk to the point where you can barely stand, or remember his name, but all things considered, Levi is happy that your general drunk disposition is happy, too.

He waves Mike goodbye as he wrangles Erwin into his car, not holding back his smile this time as you wave over-excitedly at the blonde in the passenger seat, calling his name loudly to tell him goodnight and that you’ll miss him, like you hadn’t already told him goodnight three minutes ago, or spent the last three hours with him drinking. Yeah, you’re cute.

Thankfully, Levi doesn’t live too far from the restaurant you and Erwin were at, so the both of you are home after a twenty minute walk—what should have been fifteen minutes, but was prolonged by your drunken fascination with a squirrel on a public bench.

You start to wobble more when Levi unlaces your arms to get his keys out of his pocket, and he moves his right hand to rest against the small of your back so you don’t fall. However, drunk you is not so entertained by the idea of his hands anywhere near your waist as sober you would have been.

“Hey, hey, hey—hold it right there, mister!” you stutter, words a bit too loud for the confined space of Levi’s hallway at three in the morning, “I am not going in—into that suspicious apartment with you.”

You stumble as you try to remove Levi’s hand from your waist, and he tries to steady your balance again, but push him away more forcefully, staggering into the wall behind you.

“Ah, bitch,” you curse, holding your head and groaning. The pain clearly isn’t enough to stop your accusations against Levi, as you’re back to wagging your finger at him, even hunched over from your drunken stupor, “See, this is your fault.”

Levi sighs. He doesn’t know why you’re holding your head, because you hit your back, and from what he can tell, you shouldn’t have hurt yourself that badly. He’ll take a closer look at you once you’re inside. That’s if he could get you inside to begin with.

He can’t wrangle you and open the door at the same time, so he goes for the latter, finally pulling his keys from his pocket to unlock his apartment door, then attempts to move you inside. Keyword: attempts; because anytime he puts his hands remotely near you, you slap them away.

“Come on, we have to go inside,” he grunts, trying again to get a hold of your arm, but you whack him away harshly. For a drunk person, you seem to have the strength and dexterity of a pro-athlete all of a sudden. Where was all this coordination when he was trying to get you up the stairs five minutes ago?

“No!” you growl—once again, too loudly for the time and place. “Haven’t you heard of the saying no means no, mister? I might be drunk, but this is not my apartment, and I am not going in there to have sex with you!”

“I’m trying to help you go to bed. I’m not going to try and have sex with you.” Levi takes a deep breath. This could sound really bad if anyone else woke up and heard the two of you.

But you’re not having it, crossing your arms and turning your body so that you’re now facing the wall, your back towards a less-than-impressed Levi. “Well, I don’t believe you. I’m going to call Erwinnie tell him you’re being a bad friend, and then Erwinnie is going to call my boyfriend and he’s going to come and pick me up.”

“Oh yeah?” Levi drawls, leaning against his door frame, watching your silhouette as you clumsily search for your phone in your pockets, “Why don’t you just call your boyfriend then?”

You turn on your heels as best you can, and muster up your most menacing glare. It’s not menacing in the slightest, and it actually makes Levi crack a smile, which you do not take lightly; but that only makes him smile further, because sober you doesn’t like it when he’s not fazed by your self-proclaimed intimidation tactics, either.

“Fine,” you huff, finally putting your phone to your ear, “But you’re going to be sorry, because Levi is going to come here and kick your ass.”

Levi chuckles, feeling his own phone ring in his back pocket, “I bet he is.”

“He is,” you insist, stomping your foot for dramatic effect, “He might not be that tall, but he’s strong as hell, plus he’s handsome, and he doesn’t let people fuck around with me, so say your prayers, mister.”

The following afternoon is far less than pleasant. You feel groggy, tired, and like everything is moving in slow motion. Piece by piece, your memories of your night out with Erwin start to come back to you, but you can’t seem to recall anything beyond your fifth margarita.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Levi calls, sarcastically, upon entering the bedroom.

His voice and presence surprises you, but then the realization washes over you that you’re in his apartment and not your own. You’re not sure why yet, but you could probably take a guess.

“Did you take me home last night?”

Levi hums in acknowledgement, nodding his head towards the bedside table, where you find a bottle of water. Levi watches you as you move to hang your legs off the side of the bed and reach for the bottle, groaning in the process. He mentally notes that he should make you breakfast—or, well, at this point, brunch—after you go shower, so that you can take an Advil for the pain.

He moves across the room to sit beside you on the bed, careful to not disrupt too much as to make you spill the water on the sheets. “You know, for someone who’s so happy-go-lucky when they’re drunk, you put up quite the fight yesterday.”

“I did?” you turn to him, capping the bottle, eyes wide with surprise, “You were probably sleeping and you had wake up and come deal with me, I’m sorry, Levi.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he assures you, an almost uncharacteristic and sly smile playing on his lips, “You always say something interesting that keeps me entertained. It makes up for it.”

“Dear god, what was it this time?” you groan, throwing your head back, “I didn’t confess my feelings for you again did I? This is, what, like the sixth time since we’ve been dating? I’m such an embarrassing drunk.”

“Not a confession this time,” he chuckles, “The opposite. Maybe worse.”

Levi fishes his phone from his pocket, and pulls up his voicemails before handing it to you. Curious—and a little bit scared—to find out what could possibly be worse than confessing to your boyfriend of almost four years that you’re in love with him and sad that you’re not dating him? You’re not sure that it could get more embarrassing than that until you click on Levi’s most recent voicemail and hear your own voice crackling through the speaker of his phone.

“—What, hey, fuck off, mister! I don’t want to go into your scrubby apartment! I am happily dating Levi Ackerman, and when he gets here he is going to grand slam your sorry ass into the ground!”

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